Babysitting, Running Trainers & Peanut's Law

Sometimes we see something on social media and assume Joanne has gone mad. That happened this week, but she has an explanation. Vogue somehow digs out a memory from three years old, we remember a terrifying kids film from 1985 and a powerful update about Peanut the squirrel (RIP). If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com Joanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.com Vogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williams This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me Vogue Williams and

• 0:19Speaker 02

  Joanne McNally.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Joanne McNally, if I had one message, I had a thousand messages.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  I know, I know what you're gonna say. I know what you're gonna say.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  What are you gonna say?

• 0:35Speaker 02

  I know what you're gonna say and I have, I have a prepared answer.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  I'm gonna use this is gonna come up.

• 0:41Speaker 01

  This isn't. It's down to me. Okay. So everyone is just wondering, um, what's the crack with you wearing those really expensive running runners on a walk? Is that what you were gonna say?

• 0:53Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Did you get a lot of messages as well?

• 0:55Speaker 02

  I was out for a walk with Vogue yesterday, wearing, what are they called? They have plates in them, carbon plates, the running runners. What are they called? Flyers or something?

• 1:03Speaker 01

  So, Joanne.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  You were wearing your Nike Ultra Flies meant for running at speed.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  And I did think, she's walking very fast today.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Well, yes, Vogue. I, I invested in a pair of those fly things with the carbon plates in them.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Can I, can I ask you a real question though? Did you know what they were for or did you buy them because they were neon?

• 1:30Speaker 02

  People that, I swear to God, there's sometimes the messages I get off people, you'd swear if it wasn't for the internet, I'd just be sitting in my flat eating raw chicken with a tit out.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  I do have some form of brain. So I think there's a general consensus in the DMs from some of the women that I just bought them because they're fluorescent. People were like, Joanne, you shouldn't be wearing them on a walk. They're running runners. Joanne, you should only be wearing them. They'll be bad for your feet. I ran to Vogue's. Let the record show, I ran at speed in my flyaways, whatever they're called.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  She was quick.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  To Vogue's. And that's why, as I've explained, I do a bit of running now. And because I like to throw money at problems, I decided to speed up my running by wearing little feet puntos on my feet, which is what those bouncy yellow things are. I swear to God, if I was walking around Battersea Park with a tennis racket, I'd be getting messages going, Joanne, you know, that's not for serving drinks. That's for, that's for tennis. I'd like, I know.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  It's just because it's, it's an unusual environment to see you in, that's all. And we know.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  I have a secret life.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  It's, yeah, you do keep that very private. But now what I will say is, the reason I think people went so crazy about that is because I, when I was in a way with Sven at Easter, I forgot my running runners. I forgot just any runners in general. And I had to, as I, I, listen, his feet are two sizes bigger than mine before anyone starts saying I have huge feet. I, I'm just a seven. I'm a seven, a normal size. But anyway, I had to buy hi, I had to borrow his shoes. And I was like, do you know what, actually Sven, do you know what? He was like, no, don't do this and don't do that. And I was like, do you know what, Sven? I'll fucking run in my feet. I don't want your shoes. He was so weird about the shoes that I was like, I took the shoes off and I was like, out of principle, they were too big anyway, but out of principle, I was like, do you know what?

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Take your stupid shoes and shove them up your arse and get on the treadmill on my feet. And that's what I did.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  He was very pleased when he saw my shoes, my flyaways.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  What are they called though? Flyknits, I think.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, flyknits. Flyknits?

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Ah, there is a shoe called a flyknit. Ultraflies, ultraflies.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  Ultraflies.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Excuse me?

• 3:35Speaker 02

  He was very impressed when he saw my ultrafly, ultraflies.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  You're slagging me for saying flyknits. You said flyaways.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Flyaways, yeah. That's, that's the hair. That's the, one of the girls I married for a site has vicious flyaways. All I want to do is lick my fingers and pat her hair down. Sorry. Ultraflies, ultraflies. There's great, there's great propulsion in the Vogue. Great propulsion.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  They propel.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  I just, I, I, I was actually gonna try and change up my running a bit because like I am so pathetically slow, but I just, I just, I can't, I cannot justify that price tag for me going around in them. But Spenny has them, so the two of them show up in the same runners and they're like.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, we had a great, we had a great kind of flyaway chat, you know, it was really like from one flyaway owner to another. There was real camaraderie in it, folk. Yeah, I thought you felt, you looked a little left out, to be honest now, you might need to get yourself fair. Because I've no children, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm in a, in a position to invest in every hobby I develop twice weekly.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  I won't have the money to feed the kids if I start investing in things like that.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Well, you, it won't matter because you'll propel away from the children. They won't, they won't be able to catch you. It's, it actually could be a great escape for a mothering for a while, if you were willing to invest in the propelling shoes. But apparently, I actually Googled because, um, they caused such a.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Stir. Well, they did in my DMs. I was like, oh my God, Joanne, oh, Joanne's in trouble again. Cancelled, cancelled.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Cancel for cultural appropriation. They're for the running community, Joanne. Yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  They're not a fashion shoe. I'm like, I know.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  That's why I wouldn't, um, that's why I, I, I just feel like the running community, they're very serious, the running community. And like, like if you're pathetic enough like me, I don't even feel like I have the right to post my runs on Strava. I do anyway, but I know that people are probably sneering at me and being like, what the hell, like, come on. She's done 3K at 6.15 pace. She's pathetic.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  What is the story with Strava? Is it like, what, why would you bother posting your runs? Is it because, is it a competitive thing because running is so insular that it's some way to have, some way to have some sort of community? Is that what it is?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  I don't really know. I, listen, remember I got the fitness watch and stuff like that? I was really taking my running seriously when Spenny did his 30 marathons in 30 days. And I was like, I'm gonna do my 35 Ks in 30 days, which was a nightmare, but I actually really enjoy running. And I thought I'd like get on board with the Strava community, but I just, I think it's for people who are only really good. And I'm sorry if I've said that wrong, but I just don't think I need to be recording my runs, not yet, anyway.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  It feels like fierce showboating, if you ask me.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Spenny doesn't, Spenny doesn't leave the house when I put the Strava on. He's like, walk? I'm putting it on for a walk. I'm like.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Well, he is the king of the showboating, so that's very much up his alley.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Speaking of sports, by the way, because we're talking about running, right? This is a random one, but we were in Clapham, Joanna, around your area the other day. And we went to a skate park and my kids were going around on their little scooters, loving the skate park. By the way, with the skating community, oh my God, they are so nice. They're all like, go on, yeah. And everyone like screaming for each other. I've never seen camaraderie like it.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, the skate park in Clapham, of course. Yeah, it looks like great crack.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Tell you what, I'm going to break out the blades. I'm going to go there. I can't wear my roller blades in public, but there they're accepted and everyone's very nice about it. I'm going to start rollerblading again.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  You should. I can't. Do you know what? I find skates, I find roller skating and all that jazz quite triggering because it reminds you of the wheelies. Do you remember the wheelies in Return of Oz, Return to Oz? Do you remember those horrible lads and they're on all fours with the wheels on their hands and their feet?

• 7:26Speaker 01

  I genuinely only watched Beauty and the Beast as a child on repeat, so I've never seen anything else.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  What?

• 7:33Speaker 01

  I swear to God, it's all I watched. I had a bit, I had recorded it from TV years ago, back in the day. And I used to just sit, watch it till the end and then put it back to the start. So I haven't seen any of those things or I haven't seen Mary Poppins. Never saw it.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  That explains why you're so upbeat and positive. I remember, I remember running screaming from the house because Augustus Gloop got stuck in that water slide, or whatever it was with the chocolate going up, and I was never able to go down a water slide after it. And I had fierce agoraphobia because of it.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  See, I didn't see that till my later life. And as well with Beauty and the Beast, that's why I ended up marrying a man who owns a castle. Because I was like, that's the only man I can marry.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  And that explains.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  You've been dating princes and I've been dating villains.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Did you see the story about the camogie team in Ireland and the skirts and the skirts and the shorts?

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh, yeah, okay, tell us the story.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Scort drama. So you know camogie, Jo? No. It's, camogie is an Irish stick and ball team sport played by women. It is played by 100,000 women in Ireland and worldwide, largely among Irish communities. It is a variant of the game hurling and it is organised by the Dublin-based Camogie Association.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  Anyway, you're welcome, Jo. Your Irish education continues. It does. As does ours. I just had to read that off the internet, which I think was quite clear from the tone. Anyway, two camogie teams turned up to play a game at the weekend and they, part of their uniform is they have to, there is a skort, which is a kind of hybrid mashup of a skirt and shorts.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Okay. Now, the girls, the women I should call them, they don't want to wear skirts, they want to wear shorts.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  And so should, should they be allowed?

• 9:22Speaker 02

  As is their right. It's 2025, we can't, we can't be telling women what to wear. Okay? Certainly not by a male referee, a male.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  And now, another the rules, another the rules, another the rules. Anyway, they turned up as some sort of protest, they're in their shorts and the male referee was like, if you don't go in and put those skirts on, this match will be abandoned. So they went in. And anyway, it's all over the news because they're like, we don't want to wear these fucking skirts. I could not support more. I have a skirt myself and I could barely get around a beer garden in it, let alone play camogie. I could not understand their position more. Plus, they're like, they're, they're too feminine, they're playing sport. Let them wear what they fucking want. And also, does the referee and the GAA or the GPA, whoever's involved, if these girls stop playing, there is no fucking game for this lad to be telling them what to wear at. Anyway.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  I actually find it fascinating that a man would have the audacity to stand there and actually tell them to go in and change. I would be like, no.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  This is it.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, you go try on a skirt and skirts don't look good. I'm just saying it. There you go. They don't look good.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  They don't look good!

• 10:21Speaker 01

  They frighten me because I don't know what you're wearing. What are you wearing? Is it shorts or is it a skirt? Just choose.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly. It's confusing, it's discombobulating, as we would say about in our spare time.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  And this thing reeks of jobsworths. You know, there's people who get really humbled about their jobs.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  Oh god, yes.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  And it reminds me of a story that Garold told me about in a venue once where... He didn't wear shoes to the stage because he was just going in to do a sound check.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  So he went in his feet?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  His socks. Yeah, he just walked from, he just walked from his dressing room to the stage.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Anyway, stage manager was like, oh no, you can't walk any further in your feet. It's, it's health and safety. And he was like, oh, really? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't go to the stage in your, in your socks. He's like, oh, okay. I'll go back to the dressing room. He goes, no, no, no, no, you can't go anywhere. I'll have to get a trolley for you.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Oh, stop, stop.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Made him wait. And this lad, health and safety, inadvertent comes, got, ordered a trolley, beep beep, you know, one of these beeping trolleys.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Oh, come on.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  And had him escort it back. It was ludicrous. It was three men involved in telling the women that they had to go back in and put their skirts on. And I was like, this just reeks of like, well, if we listen, if we give them a bit of leeway on the skirt, what's next? There'll be tampons and abortions on the pitch. That's what it reeks of.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Oh God. What's going to happen with that now? I, I hope that the, the women are going to be standing up for themselves and just wearing what they want. What's the bloody difference as well? What difference does it make to wear a skirt or shorts? Like, cop on.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  It's the look of it, you see. They're trying to keep them in check. They don't want them getting out of control. So the, the GPA now have said that they've bought more skirts. The women are now saying it's affecting their mental health. I love, we, once you throw in mental health, everyone has to back off. They're like, it's affecting our mental health. We don't like the look of them.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  It's making us sad. So anyway, now they're like, okay, okay. We're going to bring in more fresh skirts and we're going to trial them over the summer. Basically, put your fucking skirts on.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Why don't they put the skirts on the men and see what the men think of the skirts? And if the men like the skirts too, then everyone can wear skirts. But I don't think if the men don't like the skirts and they get to wear the shorts, we should get to wear the shorts too.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Also, what I've learned reading this story is the more you say skirt, the more ridiculous the word becomes.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  It's a ridiculous garment. It's kind of like parallels. What are they called? Those trousers? Parallel, no, colots, the colots.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Oh, colots.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  Squirts need to get the bin along with the colots, right?

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Agreed, agreed.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  We're making a fashion statement.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Neither should exist. It's like a hairless cat. Get rid of them all.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Ah no, I draw the line there. I'd love a hairless cat. I would. I'd love one. A sphinx cat. Come on. Have you seen the, James Cavanagh, this fella that we know from Ireland, has a sphinx cat. It's called Diana. He puts wigs on it. He puts diamonds on it. I've never wanted a cat more in my entire life. And they're supposed to be really soft because it's just skin.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  They look like raw chickens.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  I actually, I actually have a little bit about hairless cats in the new show now because I find them so.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  You don't like them?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Hideous. No, I do not like them. They look like they've escaped from a lab, like that they're not fully cooked. No.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  Beauty and the Beast had everything in it. I learned some French. You'd fancy Liner. You don't even know who he is.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  I did watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame a couple of times.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  He looks like one of your exes.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Do you remember last week we were saying about the crabs, the coconut crabs that you reminded me of?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  One, a girl that follows me on Instagram sent me a mail about this girl who owns a pet crab, right? She's got this crab. Yeah, she's got this crab. He's called Howie the crab. She dresses him up. He wears hats. She's also got a hedgehog pet in front of her as well. I'm going to show you in one of his hats. I know this is, obviously you won't be able to see it. But look, she's got him. Look, he's wearing a little frog knitted frog hat. She brings this crab everywhere with her. She like, he's eight and a half years old. Look, dressed him up as the Easter bunny for Easter.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  He's wearing ears. And look, I'm sorry. And this girl was like, look how cute that crab is. Look how demented and evil that crab looks like. And the girl's like, look, he's so cute. And just pets his claws and stuff. And I'm like, ah, that's a crust. Like, and I'd say, no offence, I'd say he stinks.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  I wouldn't be, you can't, like, no, I just, you can't have a barnacle as a pet.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, she goes around with this crab, Howie the crab. Now, it is quite entertaining to see the images, but like she's, like she has it in the bed with her and stuff.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  Ah, no, no, no.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  There it is with a crown. Probably one of its, oh God, look at it eating. Look at the way it eats. It just scares the shit out of me. It's like Alien.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  This is one of those stories. He's going to turn on her like an XL bully. They should not be kept in bedrooms. They should be out in oceans, pools, saunas, that kind of place.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  She also, which I found quite interesting, was telling everyone a way to kill crabs humanely.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  Which is?

• 15:18Speaker 01

  Stabbing them. You stab them in a certain part of their body instead of boiling them alive, which I think is fair enough.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Oh, the boiling alive thing is absolutely horrific.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Horrendous. I just like, I can't. And like, how you're in a restaurant and like, I know I eat lamb, so, but I don't see anything that goes on there, right? I, when you see a lobster in a restaurant and it just scares, like, I just, I can't, I've seen their face. Me and T and I know, we went

• 15:46Speaker 02

  He's even boiling alive. It's absolutely horrific.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  I was having, I was having wings in, in East, in Houth, having my wings and T comes out of the kitchen because I know the guy who owns it and he took him into the kitchen to have a little look around. And he came out with a lobster in his hand and started chasing me with a live lobster.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  I nearly, honestly Who, sorry, who did your son?

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Theodore, yeah. He thought it was hilarious. I nearly fell off the chair. I was, I actually was shielding myself with a chair. I was like, get away, T.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  How, how does he know how to hold a lobster? Is there not a certain, did a lobster not go for him with his little claws?

• 16:20Speaker 01

  You hold them by the back. Oh, God.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  What a bougie baby. In my days, it was just balloons of water, water balloons. And he's throwing lobsters and caviar around restaurants in St Bart's. What a life. What a lifestyle.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  That was in Houth. That was in Houth. He got it off the pier.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Whatever.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  I have two, two things to say.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  George Clooney. Now, I know, Vogue, I know that we're sensitive to other people's marriages because you're getting divorced on the reg. So I know that we're, we don't want to be discussing other people's marriages, but I will.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  It's a pop culture podcast. So, so George Clooney is obsessed with, he's always talking about the fact he doesn't fight with Amal.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  I wouldn't fight with her either, though.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  The more I read with this, I'm like, George, I think you're divorced and you just don't know it. She, they don't live, they don't even live in the same city anymore.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  What?

• 17:17Speaker 02

  She wa, he did some opening play or something the other night. She wasn't there. They were like, where's Amal? And he's like, she's like, he's like, oh, she's with, she's mine to the kids. Now, a babysitter is 50 quid. I think they have the catch. I think she's just changed her number and moved away. That's why they don't fight. They don't speak. I think, George, you're divorced and you just don't know it. This is exactly like when Kelsey Grammer left Camille Grammer. And we all watched her play out on Highside's Beverly Hills and Camille didn't realise Kelsey was leaving her. As he reversed down the driveway, I'll never forget it, and took the role. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he got her on the show, to distract her from the fact he was actually leaving her for another woman. And then he went to do a play in New York and he reversed it. I'll never forget it, I'll never forget it, never forget it. I watched the episode.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  And it's only in Highside she was like, that was him leaving me. And then she went to visit him in New York as a surprise, which.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Oh, God, no.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  We know how that ends. And she went to the door of the building he was staying in and the doormom was like, I'm sorry, you can't come in. And she said, my husband's there. I'm Mrs. Grammer. And he said, I quote, I quote, you can't be Mrs. Grammer because Mrs. Grammer is already up there.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Oh, God, that's, well, I mean, I'd be offended if I was, I was the one up there because you wouldn't be Mrs. Grammer. What a little jerk. I, I just think, I think celebs sometimes say certain things like George has now brought so much heat on himself. Because there's no way, like even as your best friend in the whole world, you are definitely going to be having fights. I'm sorry.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  It's, it's, my guardian angel Esther Perel, who was the queen of talking about relationships. She says the key to a relationship is rip and repair, rip and repair. You rip and repair and you get closer.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  God, that sounds really, that sounds really depressing, rip and repair.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  Rip and repair, rip and repair. All relationships, friends, romantic relationships, they all benefit from ripping and repairing. Because when you rip and repair, you kind of get stuff out in the open that needs to get out in the open. And then you heal together, rip and repair. So, George, it's time to start ripping with Amal and repairing with Amal. That's my advice to George, if he listens.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  George is not going to win any fights with Amal Cooney, I would, I would doubt. But like, seriously, come on. I just, some, like, did you see ASAP Rocky this week? He's the guy who's married to Rihanna.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  This week he was like, oh, because they have two kids, she's pregnant with her third kid. And she released that information at the Met Gala. But he was like, oh, no, we don't have babysitters. Like, I didn't have kids to just get a babysitter. Like, I want to look after my kids. Well, well, well, Aesop Rocky, I saw you and Rihanna at the Met Gala last night and I didn't see any of your children. So who was looking after those children, my friend? I hate that bullshit. Like, yeah, definitely, definitely. If you're working like that to the extent of the day, just tell us. You have help. I always say, and I get a bollocking for it sometimes, I do have help because I work. Like, I, I, I left my house at quarter to seven this morning. I'm not going to be back till later. Like, I'm working.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. I, do you know what I think? I think the word nanny is very triggering.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Childcare seems to be fine and expected, but nanny, there's, there's, it's, it's, it's, I think it's, it comes with a lot of, there's a lot of privilege.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  I suppose.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  With the word nanny and it bothers people. The word nanny bothers people.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Okay, well.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Just say babysitters.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  I've got, yeah, well babysitters, I suppose is a better word. But babysitters would suggest that they're only there for an evening, for a few hours.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  I know. You've got three full time, live in babysitters.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. Babysitting, babysitting used to be quite lucrative when I was, well, it's quite lucrative now, but when I was younger, I remember we used to get paid like, like three quid an hour and four quid an hour. Now they're on 20 quid an hour.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  I know. Well, you see, what we, we, we made it up in what, we just ate them out of house and home. So they were about 60 grand down really by the end of the night. We eat everything.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  Movies on Sky.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  Everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if the snacks weren't good, we couldn't promise we'd look after the kids that well, to be honest.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  And we couldn't promise we'd be back either because we were in demand. I was in demand as a babysitter.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Maybe I won't close the baby gate if there's any one flavour of crisps, you know?

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Smokey bacon, that's staying open. Tough luck.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And you spread the word around the estate, they're shit snacking that out and then the kids are raising themselves because no one's gonna, no one's gonna help you by his house kids now. They're shit snacking.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  My friend Johanna was like, oh, I can't, I usually babysit for this woman up the road. I'm not able to do today. Do you want to do it? And I was like, yeah, thanks Johanna for the, for the great job. I really appreciate it. Until I got there and I swear, to this day, I will never forget that night with that child. I will never forget it. She was honestly so bold and just did things that you shouldn't do.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Jesus. What was she doing?

• 22:11Speaker 01

  She was trying, she went to the toilet and then tried to rub her hands all over my face and stuff like that. And I was like, this is like, this is so wild for me. And I was like, running away from her. I was like, stop doing that. And she was doing it on purpose. I rang Hannah when I left and I was like, you're a fucking bitch. I'm never going back there again.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  You were the substitute babysitter. You know, when the substitute teacher comes in and everyone's like, here we go. Let the abuse, let the abuse begin.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Never, I never went back.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  Cause they're not the real one, you know? It's, you know, you can completely take the piss and you change your names and all, and you think you're absolutely hilarious.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  I remember that kid's name. That's how bad it was. It was honestly, I was, I thought, that's the only time in my life I thought, I'm never having kids. No way.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  A woman that I used to babysit for actually only messaged me the other day, cause I'm doing these shows in Dubai. And she messaged to say that the child that I used to babysit is living in Dubai with his girlfriend now.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  We're getting older.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  You're like, that child that I breastfed is now living in Dubai with his life partner.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  It's bizarre.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  Shocking.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  It's, Sven had this lady who looked after him. She's so nice. Annette, like one of the best cooks. She's a really nice woman. And Annette went up to him. She's like, hi, Sven. This is years ago, because they're friendly now. And, and she was like, do you remember me? Like she literally looked after him till he was like 11. He was like, no. I'm like, Sven, how? How do you not? It's like when he didn't remember you living in the basement. I'm like, you just block out these things. It's so bizarre.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  I don't understand.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  He's just a very, he's hyper focuses on other things, perhaps.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  I'd be devastated. But like, I, I remember, I do, I vividly remember all my babysitters. I could, I could pick them all out of a lineup, I'd say.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  The youngest one I remember, and I only remember her, cause I remember, it's terrible, it's weird that I have this vivid memory. So I was sitting on the toilet. I must've been like, only three or four. Like, it's probably my earliest memory. And I just remember screaming for Phyllis to come and wipe my bum. And that's like, that's like a three year old memory. I remember that.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you've been doing it ever since.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Ever since.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  Where it all began.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Sometimes I get Sven involved, like, Santa!

• 24:22Speaker 02

  I'm finished on the royal throne. Could someone please assist?

• 24:29Speaker 02

  Folks just like, what happens now?

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Am I supposed to do this with myself? I don't, I don't think so.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  Get one of the babysitters in, please, Theodore. Send me one of the babysitters.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  I do think there's an argument for spicing up the intro. I say it all the time. Do it. Do it live. Go now. It's Friday.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  It's Friday. We're excited. Happy Fri- Fri- Yay, some might say, Joanne. There you go. Yeah.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  If I have this child that I keep threatening to have.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  I won't be able to record the podcast in the flat because there'll be so much noise from all the help I'm gonna have.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  There will be, I will have babysitter after babysitter after babysitter.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  You will have to, you will have to remove that Pilates bed because there simply won't be enough room for everyone in the flat. You need to get the floor space back.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  You couldn't help yourself, could you?

• 25:27Speaker 01

  No, I couldn't. I couldn't. I just couldn't. I couldn't.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Couldn't help yourself. Just always reminding people I'm not using the Pilates bed. You just wait. You just wait until I buy this house and have this baby. Because then I will really not use that Pilates bed. You wait. You wait. You wait till you see what it's really like to not use that Pilates bed. It'll be in a skip. I'm only joking, fact I've never done it. I have all these ideas about what I want and shall we see? Shall we see if any of it comes to? Very exciting though, very exciting.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna move beside you and clap them now. You're not to go anywhere because I'm gonna start looking and clap. Am I gonna move beside you?

• 25:59Speaker 02

  We're, I'm telling you that we need to set up some sort of, I'm, I'm, I'm getting, I want to encourage everyone to come here and then we set up some sort of Golden Girls retirement complex in and around the local area. If we all stay local.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  That's actually a really good idea.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, we can all grow well together and help each other. And I do say that because if I don't have this child I'm threatening, I am going to need help.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I'm around, I'm around. I wanted to talk to you about influencers. I love an influencer, a good influencer. But they've been causing a little bit of havoc. Did you read that story about the 30? 30 influencers, and I love this as well because this is a bit of me getting the money's worth. 30 influencers had to be rescued from a sinking $4.5 million yacht.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Do you know why they had to be rescued? Because the yacht was meant for five people. And they whacked thirty of them on it. They're like, come on, we'll all split the cost.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Are you still, so was it, did they take the yacht out themselves or did the yacht company try and get all the influencers on for half price?

• 26:58Speaker 01

  No, they took it out themselves, right? It was a Lamborghini yacht as well. I didn't even know they did yachts. I thought they were just into cars.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Oh my god, there's a bangin' nanny off this now. Go on.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  And it was, it was, it was on Miami Beach and basically they had to put on all these five life vests trying to wait to be rescued because they'd just, yeah, they'd all gone up on the boat. Yeah.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  Oh my god, it's all very, it's like, do you know what's so funny? Because they're influencers and post people have such an issue with them. Like, that's, that could have been the next Titanic. Everyone's rolling their eyes because it's influencers. If they were like elderly people, it'd be like headline news. Everyone would be feeling sorry for them because it's influencers. They get a terrible time. They really annoy people.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  They, I know. If they had, okay, right. If they had actually stuck to the rules and had five people on the boat, people would have been really pissed off because they took thirty people on and sank. People are delighted.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  It's quite the collab, isn't it? Maybe it was, was it like stealth marketing from some sort of life jacket company or something? Are we really getting the whole story here?

• 27:58Speaker 01

  I think that's the whole story, but they're getting, influencers are having like a real moment of getting a load of shit at the moment, like loads of shit. Did you see those ones? Basically scientists are like having to explain to influencers, stop touching sharks because they're in the water and they're going like in the water with the sharks and they keep just grabbing them. And then there's all these shark attacks and the sharks are like biting the back and they just keep touching the sharks.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  I know why the yacht sank. That's thirty BBLs in one place. So that's probably about sixty thousand over the weight it's supposed to be. Did they all survive? I assume, I should have asked that before I start slagging them off. Did they survive?

• 28:39Speaker 01

  No, actually, Joanne, only a third survived. Only the five that got the life jacket survived. No, they all survived. They all survived.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  It's like that Tommy Bow clip about the twelve, the twelve siblings and the, did you see this, Jo?

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Oh my god, I actually, I have to, no, we have to play that. Hang on because we can get the audio.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Jo, Vogue, you explain that bit. It was very funny.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  Okay, so Tommy Bow, he's this really nice guy. He's a TV presenter in Ireland and he was on, oh god, it comes straight up.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  I didn't even.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  People who say today's news stories are tomorrow's chip paper are full of shit. You don't, these stories stay forever and ever and ever. The internet never forgets.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Some of them stay forever, but anyway, he was on and he was like doing this piece to camera about this guy. And he just, I'm just gonna play it and then I'll try and explain to you if you don't understand.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Seamus O'Reilly was just five years old when he and his 10 siblings. 10 siblings. Sadly lost their mum.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Don't go too soon.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  I mean, it's a natural reaction.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. He says to this day, you can't go anywhere. By three times a day, people shout 10 siblings at him, yeah.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  I mean, I'd absolutely like, and there's nothing you can do in his life. I was, I was on Lorraine this morning and they were, they were like, okay, we're gonna do this thing. We have to go and frighten Dermot O'Leary and Christine Lampard because they were talking about Dermot O'Leary's show. And I was like, if I go up and like sneak up behind him and scream and they don't like lose their mind, I'll just be left standing there like a dick. They did get a fight, but still, it's just like, imagine. No, I said boo, I said boo.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  I hate live telly. I don't know why it exists. Oh, by the, sorry, firstly, I wanna say it's Seamus O'Reilly's book, actually, Robbie mentioned him. We should, I should say it's really good. I actually interviewed him at a book festival around the time he was promoting, around the time this Tommy thing happened. His book's called, I Heard Mammy Died or Mammy Died, or something about his mother dying.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  Oh, I think I've read that book.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  It was, it's a really, really, it's a great book.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  Oh my God, speaking of books, by the way, this is like, so my book is out in two weeks and I'm kinda having a little bit of a nervous breakdown about it.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Oh, well, I gave it to my mum because like I want people to read it because when, when it comes out, like the press sometimes just pick up one line. And because it's all things that I've never really said before, I'm just, I'm getting really anxious that like people are just gonna take out like certain awful lines from the book and just use them as a headline. And I'm so worried that like people just won't read the book and we'll just all be out of context and it will just seem like a different book than it is. So I'm having, yeah.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  You're nervous. I can imagine. It's a lot of your, it's a lot of yourself to put out there, you know?

• 31:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's exactly, that's exactly what it feels like. And I'm like, because it's stuff that I haven't really said before and like, oh God, it's just.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Well, we can, we'll just, we'll just, this, we'll just, we'll just have a one, we can, we can put on a weekly corrections corner on the podcast for anything that's taken out of context. If it doesn't.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  I'd really appreciate that.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Set the record straight with myself and Joe.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, I'm just, I'm nervous. Two weeks away. It's gone to print, too late, it's coming out and we'll do a correction, perfect corrections corner here. Sounds good.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Thank you. And I'm, I'm, I'm hoping you've included my many sex scandals.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  Oh God, that's all the book's about. Actually, I've pretended it's a memoir, but it's actually about all of your dating history.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  Great. Love it. Love, love to hear it.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  You are gonna be so happy when I tell you about this. Remember Peanut?

• 32:16Speaker 02

  Was he the squirrel?

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Peanut the squirrel, right. He was living in the apartment block and we spoke about it on the pod and basically he was told, someone ratted out the person who owned Peanut the squirrel, but Peanut the squirrel had become a pet and he was living in an apartment block with his owner and he was on Instagram and everyone loved him and he was having a great time. And then the New York police came and took Peanut and said that you can't do that and have him living with you and then euthanised him, so killed him. And now. Yeah. And now Peanut's owner has a new, he's, he's got a new legislation in New York and it's called Peanut's Law and it means that you have to wait 72 hours before euthanising an animal.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Justice for Peanut. Hold on a second. So they're still getting euthanised? It's just taken longer?

• 33:05Speaker 01

  No, because he might have been able to fight his cause and then he might have been able to get him back.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's gonna like turn over the judicial system in 72 hours.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  I mean, I mean, I'm, I'm always up for delaying death. So congratulations to everyone involved in Peanut's Law. I don't, when you said peanuts back, I thought.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  I thought, I forgot he died and thought, I thought we'd brought Peanut back from prison or something.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Oh, you thought Peanut had come back to Instagram. Yeah, no, he hadn't just gone off Instagram. He's gone, gone.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  You're like, they resuscitated Peanut. I was like, oh my God, it's such a good news story. Still dead. Still dead.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Still dead.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  So he's not back, though. This is very misleading.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  No, it's a nice, happy news story about Peanut the squirrel.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  You reminded me about Lorraine, when you were saying you were on Lorraine Kelly. She's so funny. She was in, I was reading something she was saying the other day. She was online saying she was going in for a wee procedure. So obviously, she's, the way she just makes light of everything. She's like, I'm going in for a wee procedure. She's basically having her entire insides taken out and put back in.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  I know, I saw that. And I was like, sorry, I thought she was getting her appendix out or something.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, wee procedure sounds like even like an ingrown nail or something. She's like, I'm having a wee procedure. I'm having my entire insides taken out and put back in. It's not wee. That's, that's, that's a big procedure, Lorraine.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Are they definitely putting them back in? Are they putting them back in?

• 34:26Speaker 02

  Well, you're, you're, you're, you're on the inside.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Well, I'm hardly gonna go up to Lorraine and say, hey, are you putting your insides back in?

• 34:32Speaker 02

  How's she looking? Does she look like her insides are back in?

• 34:34Speaker 01

  She always looks very well. She's not, she's not back in yet. She's not back in yet.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Nothing a sheet mask won't fix, even if they leave the insides out.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  A sheet mask actually does a lot. I put on one last night.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  Get on that, get on that, that Korean skincare. Nothing a sheet mask won't fix. Lorraine, banging as always. I just love it.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  I'll bring her a basket just full of stuff like that.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  There's people who will over dramatise the smallest of things in their lives. And then there's people like Lorraine, who could literally be having a face transplant and call it a wee procedure. I love it. I love both types of people. I find them both entertaining.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  I do really love, like, when people, like, when they post stuff from their hospital bed and they don't say anything. And you're just like, they're posting like an IV drip or something. And it's like, they're just not gonna tell you. And then they actually, they are having a wee procedure, but they actually just want it to seem like it's a big procedure.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  The hospitals, the hospital bed selfies.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  I mean, not great.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  Or the photos of the hospital, the bracelets that they put on with telling you what they're in for.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  It's the bracelets.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  That's, that to me now, there's a bang of munchie housing syndrome off that.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  I have, do you know what? I have shocking news. I was shocked to the core when I found this out. I was saying that to Amber about people who do that and Amber said she's done that a few times.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  Amber's not scared of a bit of attention now, let's be honest. And that's, that's coming from two huge thirst buckets.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  You and Joe?

• 35:58Speaker 02

  Everyone, I mean, Joe.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  And Demure Deardrill in the corner there.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  Who me? Don't look at me, I'm so shy.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  Everyone, look, we can't, it's actually unfair to criticize people for wanting attention. Everyone wants attention. Attention is lovely. So when actually, I remember there was.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  The right kind of attention. I'd rather not, I don't want the bad attention. I'm finished with that. So this month, be kind, please.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I can understand why you're nervous. I would be nervous too, putting out some, they're personal, it's your personal life. You're putting out a lot, you're putting a lot out there.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  But then the thing about it is, right, I've tried to make it light and funny and entertaining, but it's just stuff that people will not have heard before. And for some reason, like they just, the clickbait will be very difficult. So I've, I've, I don't have, you know, when you have Google Alerts, I've cut the Google Alerts off. I've, I've deleted all newspaper apps. I'm, I'm going underground for a while, I think.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Great. Well, I will be sending them on as soon as I get them.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  I'll have to hide from you when you see what I said about you. Uh oh.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  I'm like, Vogue! You're like, Joanne, that's not even about the book. That's the fucking plane seat again. Oh yeah, sorry. Just anything negative, I'm just sending on to see it, you know, just so you're aware.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Joanne's just gonna screen grab horrible comments and be like, oh, some reviews have come in about your book. Here you go.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  You're like, Joanne, yeah, what did she even do?

• 37:32Speaker 02

  I had some people ratting you out for saying banker.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  Ah, come on. I'm trying to get down with the kids here. I heard someone say banker and I thought, that's cool. I'll take it.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Did you see Blake Lively was, she was, well, somebody was calling her out. God, Blake Lively, she's just getting called out all the time. But anyway, she was called out because she was putting up all the best reviews of her movie. And it's like, well, do you think she's gonna do like a balanced view and put up all the negative reviews? Absolutely. I do have a little thing about as well, a retweet of like, a compliment or something, you know?

• 38:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have, it's promotion. You have, like, I, I have to do it with the show. Like, it's, you have to promote your work. You have to. To encourage people to come, you have to go, look, this person liked it. I'm hoping you will too. It's kind of part of the gig.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's okay too. But you know, when some people are like, I used to, because I used to do modeling in Ireland. And, and, and there was a couple of the models and they used to retweet, like, people being like, oh my God, you're so sexy. And retweet it. And I'm like, who's that for?

• 38:42Speaker 02

  I sometimes have to check myself and be like, I'm always, I'm, I, you, there's a boundary, there's a personal kind of ick that you have to overcome to promote yourself. And it's, it's like a barrier that you have to kind of get over. And then once you're over it, you have to make sure that you're still doing it in a tasteful, dignified way. And you're not kind of overdoing it. And I sometimes have to go, I check myself, like, am I overdoing it here? Or am I underdoing it? Am I selling, am I selling it enough? Am I not, am I selling it? Because I'm so scared to overdo it. Do you know what I mean? Because you look like a prick.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. It's just, it's very hard to get it right.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  It's very hard to get it right. And you'll never please everyone, as we always say, Vogue.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Robbie Williams has moved into art.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  And I mean, music is art, but he's moved into doodles. He is being exhibited in galleries and it's so funny. He basically is like, I've finished music, I'm over it. So I've moved into art and they're like, I can imagine the frustration of artists who've been in the industry so long. Now Robbie Williams is making them on his iPad.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  £23,000.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  But they're like, so how long to take? He's like, no time at all. He's like, I'm banging it.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Oh, stop.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  He's like, no time, I'm banging it. So basically it's kind of sayings and then he kind of doodles around it, you know, like I was mentally ill before it was cool, stuff like that. And he doodles around it, but I was, I was, I was reading about it and I was kind of laughing, not at Robbie. I'm a big Robbie fan, I love him, but it's the frustration, but it's, it's, it just is what it is because art is so subjective. If people want to buy Robbie Williams' art, they want to buy Robbie Williams' art. You know what I mean? Like Miley Cyrus has brought out art, Pierce Brosnan has brought out art, but I just love the notion of the celebrities moving into it. Like telling you now, I'm never writing another stand up show after Penefol. I'm going to take out a lot of fluoro highlighters and you'll see me at the Tate Modern in two years. I'll be fucking kicking back.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Do you know why they're all going into art now? Cause you're not like going to alcohol anymore. Alcohol is like seen as the devil. So everyone who had an alcohol brand is now like, do you know what? Let's do art.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Really?

• 40:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. Robbie Williams, have you seen his posts? He's very deep on Instagram now. Have you noticed that?

• 40:57Speaker 02

  He's, he's big into the deep and meaningfuls. Yeah. I saw his post about being famous on the plane. Did you read that?

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did. I read that and I was like, oh.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  I'll just explain it so he has it. He did a really, he did a, I thought it was a very interesting post actually, of kind of about how much do the public, how much access do they deserve of celebrities like Robbie Williams? He's like been asked for photos all day, every day. He was on a plane, he was kind of having some anxiety issues and he was getting asked. By people for photographs of when they land, can I get a photograph? And he was sending back handwritten letters saying, no, basically. He's like, look, I'm not in a great mood. I've been up since 4am, I've got four kids with me. And then, of course.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  And also, once he does one for one person, he'll have to do one for everyone. And like, that's just how it is.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, and he was saying, how much of yourself do you have to give? Or do people deserve it? Then he was talking about the difference between like, real fans and then people who just want a photo with that lad who sang Angels.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  And how much it takes out of him. And it was really interesting. And then the pilot came down and got a photo with them. And the pilot said, you're much sounder than Mr. Blah, because Mr. Blah wouldn't take a photo with us. And then Robbie was like, I know Mr. Blah, and Mr. Blah's actually really sound. And it annoyed me that he was then throwing Mr. Blah under the bus. It was just interesting. And then all the celebs were liking it and stuff.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  I think it's okay to have a bad day, but I did like that post. But then he started going on with a lot of them. There's always the writing posts.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's, he's, he's in his feelings, he's in his feels, Robbie's in his feels.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Are you going on holidays this year, this summer at all? Well, you're going on tour.

• 42:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, yeah, I'm interrailing for the summer around Europe. By the way, Berlin, Oslo, Copenhagen, Stockholm.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  I mean, basically, I'm just going, I just, I just, I just have to do an hour of work for three people while I tour those cities, which is.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, gorgeous.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  The rest of the shows are selling very well, but the, yeah, Scandi countries, it's, it's, it's a no. For me, also, just FYI, it's mutual, okay?

• 42:48Speaker 01

  I was, I saw this place, because Ibiza obviously is really good fun, but Ibiza's very expensive to go to now. I saw this hotel, they're offering a free room in their hotel. And the little, the little twist on the free room is it's basically a glass box in the lobby. So if you want to take the free room, you're just, there's, and it's a gorgeous looking room, but it's just a glass box in the middle of the lobby. And so that's where you'd have to sleep if you took the free room.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  That's amazing.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Yes, if I was 18, I would definitely do that.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  Didn't Tilda Swinton do like a live art exhibition where she just slept in a gallery in a box for a while? Was it Tilda Swinton? I think it was Tilda Swinton.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  I think that's a great idea. Well, I was actually speaking to someone about the, it was actually Groude again. He was talking about, he's buying all his art now from Timu, because he's saying that. He's like, I'm getting these gorgeous prints of Timu, they're two euro and then, and then he got the frame out of Oxfam. And I said, um.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  I don't think you could hate him for shopping on Timu, can you?

• 43:49Speaker 02

  I'm art. I said, I said, we were kind of discussing the ethics of like AI generated art. And he's like, I don't care. I love art and the artists are the, the artists are the ones making it expensive. They're the expensive fish.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Ah, we laughed and laughed and laughed.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Grog, he can't be shopping on Timu.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  He's delighted with himself. He loves the art on Timu.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  It's so bad.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Two, two euro we paid for it.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Well, he's on to something with the frame and Oxfam and fairness. Come on.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Ah, that's, that, that is, that's a life hack that we all, yeah, a hundred percent.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Also, there's a hotel in Japan, one dollar and they live stream you sleeping. You know, like those influencers who were live streaming their, what is it called? Stitch or something? Snitch.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, sniff films where they're dead.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  Snuff. No, it's like, it's this, it's this app and they just basically live stream themselves sleeping and they make like a hundred grand and stuff like that. But this hotel is live streaming guests for a dollar. They only have to pay a dollar for the room.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  Something weird about that though, isn't there? Joe, remember you watched me sleep and I didn't charge you at all?

• 44:59Speaker 03

  And I was, no, that's quite.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  You did.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  I didn't watch you.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  You did.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  You fumbled yourself, didn't you?

• 45:04Speaker 03

  No, I.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  He was watching and wanking.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  And I jumped off so quickly.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure. I bet you had a little tug, a little tug, didn't you?

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Fucking did not.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Oh my God, we can tell, we can tell. I used to watch people sleep on Big Brother though. Do you remember it was like a 24 hour feed and I'd be like, and I'd be sitting there like having my breakfast or something in the morning and I'd be looking at them and I'm like, why am I watching this? What the fuck is wrong with me?

• 45:32Speaker 02

  I know, it's just the company, isn't it? It's just like, just so you don't feel alone.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  I think I'd actually like to spice up the ending, Joe. Would there be an argument here for spicing up the ending?

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Anything that you want to try, try it, just go.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  I think we need a theme tune or something, like we need something to...

• 45:49Speaker 03

  We have a theme tune, yeah, we've used the same one for four years.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  I know, but I don't mean that one, I mean a one specifically for saying goodbye.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  The same theme tune that they're used to sell pineapples on Etsy, that we bought for like a dollar.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  We can't change the music now, it's too late, we can't change it now.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  We want you to change your photo four times, you can do whatever we want.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  Ask Robbie Williams if we can use Angels, he looks like he'd like to make a bit of cash.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  That's a bit sad, that song's, we need something more upbeat, something more upbeat.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  It'd be fucking hilarious if podcasts finished with Angels every week.

• 46:24Speaker 03

  Okay, bye then, bye for another week, bye bye.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  I'm loving it.