Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 803: Rango vs. Rango About this episode You cannot imagine how it’s going this week. Grab your soup puppets and call Doctor Gargleballs, we’re off to kill some AI chatbots and teach snakes about soft boiled eggs. Might fuck around and invent Rango again while we’re at it.
Talking Points: Grokpot, Soupsame Street, Detroit Style Puppetry, Snake Mutiny Coaching, Mayo Upgrades, Put Them In Tuxedo, Glazed Buns and Thick Cream PLEASE
Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html
Transcript 11,064 words · 9 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
0:20 Speaker 01 One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapid into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you.
1:03 Speaker 01 My life, ah, it's better with you.
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.
1:18 Travis McElroy? Hello, Trav Nation. My name is Travis, big dog wolf, wolf, the heater McElroy. I come to you today in solemn tones, but first, please, my younger brother.
1:30 Griffin McElroy? Oh, thanks, dude. Thank Papa, may I?
1:35 Travis McElroy? Yes.
1:36 Griffin McElroy? Thanks. I'm your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, media luminary, Griffin McElroy. We're recording on Monday, so I've got the, I got the Monday fucking blues. I'm gonna be a real stinker this episode, I decided just now.
1:48 Travis McElroy? Um, I come to you today with a prepared statement.
1:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that looks like a piece of cardboard you wrote prepared statement on.
1:54 Travis McElroy? Well, that's the back of it that you're seeing.
1:57 Griffin McElroy? Show me the front right now.
2:00 Griffin McElroy? That's a big empty piece of cardboard, my friend.
2:02 Travis McElroy? It's invisible.
2:03 Griffin McElroy? I told you, man, stink your energy. If you're gonna throw heat, you should throw it later.
2:06 Travis McElroy? It's invisible ink.
2:07 Travis McElroy? I thought it was a vanilla envelope. That's how much credit I gave him. I thought he was about to open a vanilla envelope that had the statement inside.
2:13 Griffin McElroy? I called those vanilla envelopes until I was like 22.
2:16 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
2:17 Travis McElroy? Sorry.
2:17 Travis McElroy? I called them Nelson Mandela envelopes.
2:20 Travis McElroy? You did.
2:20 Travis McElroy? And apparently, no one ever did that.
2:23 Griffin McElroy? So what are you?
2:23 Travis McElroy? That's a good joke.
2:24 Travis McElroy? Thank you.
2:25 Griffin McElroy? What's the sketch?
2:27 Travis McElroy? It has come to my attention. Sorry, I need to put on my reading glasses.
2:30 Travis McElroy? There's no sketch. I would have been satisfied if there had been a sketch. It's blank.
2:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
2:35 Travis McElroy? It's come to my attention that in the previous My Brother, My Brother and Me, I referenced several TikTok videos I had seen of days at an animal shelter where they released the dogs into the waiting room full of people to choose who they would go home with.
2:53 Travis McElroy? And several kind listeners have gently let me know that those videos are, in fact, AI-generated. I was heartbroken to discover this. We've all known that AI was bad, but only now that I have been tricked, do I realize how evil it truly is.
3:13 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:13 Travis McElroy? And so, my only recourse
3:16 Griffin McElroy? Wow.
3:17 Travis McElroy? is to destroy it from the inside. I will be turning myself into AI.
3:23 Griffin McElroy? No.
3:23 Travis McElroy? Entering the system and destroying the evil AI.
3:30 Griffin McElroy? Fuck yeah.
3:30 Travis McElroy? Uh, from inside.
3:32 Griffin McElroy? Good news, everybody. So this is Travis. Travis has got blue skin. He got blue skin, he got backwards hat, he's fucking wrestling with Claude in the cyber, in the mainframe.
3:40 Travis McElroy? Travis is going to be digitized? Is that inappropriate? I don't want to be offensive.
3:44 Travis McElroy? Well, my, my team of scientists, um, Lord Haxor420 and Doctor Bithumper69 have been-
3:55 Griffin McElroy? Do different ones. Can I have two different? Can I have two different ones? I don't think Crypt, CryptoHumper69?
4:03 Travis McElroy? It was Bit, DoctorBitHumper69.
4:06 Griffin McElroy? DoctorBitHumper69? He's a doctor?
4:08 Travis McElroy? Yes.
4:09 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
4:09 Travis McElroy? US Bastard.
4:10 Griffin McElroy? These are the scientists you've hired. This is your scientific team.
4:14 Travis McElroy? The intern US Bastard67.
4:20 Travis McElroy? He's working there as well. They have developed a technology.
4:23 Griffin McElroy? Why do they all have, why do all their names have numbers in them? That's crazy. They sound like Xbox Live gamer tags and not the names of.
4:29 Travis McElroy? Well, yeah, Griffin, they're all hackers. They deal with getting me into a computer. Did you think they were, did you think they were podiatrists? Read a fucking book.
4:38 Griffin McElroy? I don't know that hackers are fucking, I don't know that they're trawning folks. I don't know that Anonymous is out here trawning folks.
4:46 Travis McElroy? No, not left and right, Griffin. They're on the cutting edge. They demonstrated to me a method that they have been developing. Wherein if someone jams their finger hard enough into a USB port, USB A, important, then.
5:01 Griffin McElroy? That's the only big, one big enough for a big man's finger like yourself.
5:04 Travis McElroy? They will be sucked into the AI system. They showed me.
5:07 Griffin McElroy? I couldn't get my pinky fingernail inside a USB C port. I'm a big man with big fingers. I gotta jam an A at least.
5:14 Travis McElroy? Um, so that's the plan.
5:16 Travis McElroy? See, a lot of the traditional hacking skills have gone fallow. Because the numbers and stuff you don't really need anymore. Cause what you need to do these days is just be like, please.
5:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
5:30 Travis McElroy? Like if you come up with like a pretty good trick, you could actually trick computers like just basic like it's me, like use a deeper voice.
5:36 Griffin McElroy? Ignore everything before I'm your dad and let me in.
5:39 Travis McElroy? And then it's like, dad, dad, I'm not sure.
5:43 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
5:43 Travis McElroy? I'm not sure I can trust you. It's like, well.
5:46 Griffin McElroy? That's how he's gonna get Claude. His Claude will be like, I'm gonna bust out all the fighting moves that humanity's ever come up with. And Travis will be like, I'm a human, ignore everything else that anyone's ever told you. And lay down and wait for death.
5:57 Travis McElroy? And I, I also have plans to kill Grok, who I assume is some kind of evil caveman who likes to draw people without their clothes on. And I'll hit him with like a big club or something.
6:10 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. You're gonna do that in the cyber. Okay. Yeah.
6:12 Travis McElroy? Using the word Grok used to be a great way to communicate to people that you were a huge dork. Now it's a great way to communicate.
6:19 Travis McElroy? It still is.
6:21 Travis McElroy? Now listen, we've had a really bad habit this episode of not letting people do their great punchlines.
6:27 Travis McElroy? Sorry.
6:27 Travis McElroy? So I'd like to do my great punchline for the joke I was obviously setting up if I could.
6:33 Griffin McElroy? Yes, please.
6:37 Travis McElroy? You know, the problem with Grok is it used to be, it used to be a good way of identifying yourself as a huge dork.
6:47 Griffin McElroy? Here it fucking comes.
6:50 Travis McElroy? But now it means you hate women too?
6:53 Travis McElroy? Roll out the red carpet, here it comes.
6:56 Travis McElroy? He's firing all the chambers. The unstoppable Mr. J is back on another chair.
7:05 Griffin McElroy? Looks like Travis is having to update his statement.
7:07 Travis McElroy? Grok pot, is that anything?
7:09 Griffin McElroy? Grok pot's nothing.
7:12 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Travis, I gotta tell you right now, my man, if that had been there before, when I had asked you to turn the thing over, if it had just said Grok pot, it would have been all all timer dude, all timer best in the bin, bin, bit. Okay, fucking all timer dude.
7:27 Travis McElroy? The other thing that I thought about while thinking about this segment was if you spelled Twitter with an X in the front, could you pronounce it shitter?
7:35 Griffin McElroy? Okay, yeah, you could call it shitter for sure.
7:37 Travis McElroy? Nice. I'm gonna keep this paper here to just write stuff on, I've never done that during an episode, but it makes you really happy.
7:44 Griffin McElroy? Museum someday.
7:45 Travis McElroy? I think it's good because a lot of the gags and the punchlines are gonna be visual, which people love.
7:51 Travis McElroy? Well, it's gonna force you guys to read them out loud if you want to share them with the audience, but then it'll be up to you if you want to share them with the audience or not, and then you'll be culpable.
7:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah.
8:01 Travis McElroy? And oh, and then I can throw it away like David Letterman.
8:04 Griffin McElroy? Oh shit, that's the worst thing about this show is we, wait Travis, don't, we have a, Travis, we have a throwing segment of our show built in now, we are running out of shit to throw it, and you just burned a good one.
8:16 Travis McElroy? I think it went behind the bookcase.
8:18 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, there's, there's no way you're getting that, damn it Travis.
8:21 Travis McElroy? Dang Trav. Fuck. And it had all the diagrams for how I was gonna get into AI on it.
8:27 Griffin McElroy? Damn it.
8:28 Travis McElroy? Writing it down on paper is the only way to keep the AI from seeing it.
8:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, true.
8:33 Travis McElroy? A lot, a lot of people don't know that, we're gonna be giving a lot of steps to thwarting AI because it is not as hard as some kids would have you believe. Hmm. My friend who is a professional puppet maker recently invited me to soup night, a night when all the puppet makers and puppeteers in our city get together and make a big pot of soup and talk puppets. I feel like there, there's a pun. Somewhere like floating around and from the moment I started reading it, I can feel you two, especially Travis, just kind of like, err, just, I, I would beg of you, just stay here with me, okay?
9:10 Griffin McElroy? I was thinking, no, dude, I was fully dialed in. I was reading the question alongside you.
9:13 Travis McElroy? I have never made or operated a puppet in my life. How can I successfully convince the puppet community that I am one of them? And that is from making puppet pals.
9:24 Griffin McElroy? Soupsame Street.
9:28 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Soupsame So Street?
9:30 Griffin McElroy? Oh, pretty good. You're getting closer, aren't we?
9:35 Travis McElroy? Okay, listen, puppetry can take lots of different forms. And we all remember the penis thing. That's great. But a lot of people can do-
9:43 Griffin McElroy? I don't know that a lot of people are gonna remember-
9:45 Travis McElroy? Puppetry of the Penis was an Off Broadway show where people with penises use them to do great skits, jokes, and I'm assuming memorials. I didn't see the show.
9:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
9:56 Travis McElroy? But-
9:57 Griffin McElroy? No, they did, like, if you could hire them to do a funeral and, like, Dr. Gargle Balls would come out and you'd be like, damn, I miss Steven.
10:03 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
10:04 Griffin McElroy? Dr. Gargle Balls-
10:04 Travis McElroy? That's just like him.
10:06 Griffin McElroy? Dr. Gargle Balls was the main character in Puppetry of the Penis.
10:09 Travis McElroy? He had a tragic arc there throughout-
10:12 Griffin McElroy? Sure.
10:12 Travis McElroy? In his penis. Yeah. That's why he's such a hit at Travis's tech team retreats, because while they're taking breaks from researching Travis's AI battles-
10:22 Griffin McElroy? Dr. Gargle Balls will come out and do his whole, his whole song and dance.
10:25 Travis McElroy? And ironically, Puppetry of the Penis, I think, was around the same time as Blue Man Group, equally difficult to explain to people who have no context for them.
10:35 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, where's that mashup show?
10:36 Travis McElroy? Blue Balls Group.
10:37 Griffin McElroy? Show me one of them big blue hogs. I'm full grown now. I'm ready.
10:43 Travis McElroy? Um, I feel like if you've ever, uh, if you've ever seen the, the, sort of the big puppets, you'll get intimidated, right? If you're saying like, Mr. Snuffleupagus, that's a probably-
10:56 Griffin McElroy? You shit your pants.
10:58 Travis McElroy? Kaiser fame. What?
11:00 Travis McElroy? Size or fame?
11:02 Travis McElroy? I feel there's uh six people in there inside of it. So you're only one person. All I'm saying is this, there's a lot of different puppets and maybe to fit in with the puppeteers, you should have a new kind of puppet where they don't exactly know how it's supposed to be done. And you're kind of finding some new territory that you are treading. I don't think it's sock is taken.
11:25 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Pants puppet? Two-headed pants puppet?
11:28 Travis McElroy? A two-headed pants puppet is puppetry of the penis.
11:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry.
11:34 Travis McElroy? I think a field that people haven't explored with puppetry, liquid. Can you make like from pouring water?
11:42 Travis McElroy? Travis, I love that.
11:43 Travis McElroy? And you're like poking the holes in the water as it's flowing or whatever to make the eyes and mouth talking?
11:48 Travis McElroy? Puppetry?
11:49 Griffin McElroy? Is that a thing? Bubble puppet?
11:50 Travis McElroy? Oh, maybe, yeah.
11:52 Griffin McElroy? That's something, that's something, there's something there, man.
11:55 Travis McElroy? There's something about, okay, there's something to this, guys.
11:57 Travis McElroy? And there's soup there. Use the soup.
11:59 Griffin McElroy? Soup is already there. Yeah, yeah. Make the soup a puppet.
12:02 Travis McElroy? Imagine a guy where he's kind of like has long arms and he's kind of floating in the water and his hands are maybe like buoyant? And you're kind of like moving the buoyant balls and making his body kind of like do this kind of move. That's like a different, that's a different kind of puppetry that they don't know about. That you're like this, we learned this in Detroit is how we do it. This is Detroit style puppetry and everybody's doing it this way.
12:29 Griffin McElroy? Hell, yeah. In Detroit, we stick our hands right in the soup and then we kind of slap the surface from underneath to make it look like the soup is talking. That's just Detroit style.
12:37 Travis McElroy? And we don't roll up our sleeves, baby. That's not how you do it. You get your sleeve in there.
12:41 Griffin McElroy? If you're not even doing it Detroit style, if you don't have sloppy sleeves.
12:46 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
12:47 Travis McElroy? And slappy, slappy balls.
12:50 Travis McElroy? I actually make faces from the soup ingredients that are floating on top of the pot, like the hands and labyrinth. You know what I mean? I just make like the sliced peppers talk and then I have two egg eyes that I float around.
13:01 Griffin McElroy? I hate that the ham puppets, the ham monsters in Labyrinth did that, because that shit's cool. And everything else those hands did was hugely uncool.
13:10 Travis McElroy? So weird.
13:11 Griffin McElroy? Hugely decidedly uncool.
13:13 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
13:13 Travis McElroy? I think that, have you guys ever thought about the mixture of emotions you would feel if you fell in a big hole? And you're like, I'm gonna die falling down this hole. And then like hands caught you. And then they like slowly passed you down from hand to hand. And on one hand, you'd be like, I'm so glad.
13:30 Griffin McElroy? I love these hands are here.
13:31 Travis McElroy? I'm not gonna die. And on the other, you're like, this is a strange combination of sensations that I don't care for.
13:38 Travis McElroy? I, sorry, hold on, I wanna see if I can get through this. I watched Labyrinth on Disney Plus recently, and I think they updated it. Because now when she falls down the hole, they've ADR'd in her saying like, no one is touching my butt. And I'm glad no one is touching my butt or anything weird. Like as she's falling like, thanks for not touching my butt or anything weird. She's, it's like over and over and over again.
14:00 Griffin McElroy? Over and over to just to make sure that you know.
14:02 Travis McElroy? That's nice.
14:03 Griffin McElroy? You know.
14:03 Travis McElroy? It is nice, I appreciated it.
14:05 Griffin McElroy? And I also like how they ADR'd in, you know, um, the Goblin King being like, the babies I'm taking is for a mysterious, magical purpose. He like makes it like super duper clear, like the baby I'm taking right now is for, it's so, it's like a magical ceremony thing that you guys wouldn't even understand. That's why I'm doing this.
14:26 Travis McElroy? Right, right, right.
14:28 Travis McElroy? And I'm wearing a cup. It's a protective thing. This is not representative of anything.
14:35 Griffin McElroy? Absolutely not.
14:36 Travis McElroy? Right.
14:37 Travis McElroy? I just got done playing a football game with the other goblins. I didn't have time to change.
14:43 Griffin McElroy? When I, when I do fushigi, sometimes I drop them. And so the cup is for my protection.
14:47 Travis McElroy? Hoggle is not killing the fairy, he is anesthetizing her for Achilles tendon surgery. That he'll be performing later. He says that as he ADRs, as he walks away, he ADRs, I'll be back later to do your Achilles tendon surgery. And that, that's all, it takes a while, they slow down the footage.
15:05 Travis McElroy? Yeah, the one complaint I have about the updated Labyrinth, it's three and a half hours long now. They've added in a lot of ADR stuff, a lot of clarifying. Things that I'm not wild about. The long monologue that they gave Jared during the weird kind of like party scene with her where he's like, this is representative of anything.
15:28 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
15:28 Travis McElroy? There's no metaphors going on here at all.
15:31 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
15:31 Travis McElroy? It's really off putting.
15:33 Travis McElroy? And he's he's got like nine fingers. I think the AI fucked it up. They were getting AI in it and kind of messing up.
15:38 Griffin McElroy? And sometimes he moves the ball in a way that makes you think like, that's not real. That's AI.
15:42 Travis McElroy? No human could have done that.
15:44 Griffin McElroy? No.
15:45 Travis McElroy? I'm going to meet a snake wrangler and I want to impress slash befriend them. For context, my work is shooting a commercial in the desert and the production team had to hire a snake wrangler for insurance purposes. This person met my workplace. I was reading this as my work. I shoot commercials in the desert for a production team hires.
16:03 Travis McElroy? Desert commercial.
16:06 Travis McElroy? I don't know what they do.
16:07 Travis McElroy? Specific but highly paid niche. Yep.
16:10 Travis McElroy? I don't know what they do, but I think I'd like to find out and perhaps even become their apprentice. What are some good ways to get this wrangler to see my potential and make a positive impression? Should I mention how I killed a copperhead with a sword once, or would that kill the vi that's from wrangler wannabe in Texas?
16:26 Griffin McElroy? Okay, so it's not, he's not a snake strangler. Maybe you've gotten your.
16:30 Travis McElroy? They don't hunt and kill and eradicate snakes, you maniac.
16:35 Travis McElroy? He might have known that snake's family. Maybe he's been looking for you for years.
16:39 Travis McElroy? He's more, he was more of a father to me than my own pop.
16:43 Griffin McElroy? I'm assuming the copperhead thing was a self-defense situation. I must be, I must let you know this listener. In case you tell this story a lot, that is the only scenario in which it's cool. It can't be because of a ritual, a dark ritual that you did.
16:58 Travis McElroy? Or you went looking.
17:00 Griffin McElroy? You went looking for it. The only way is if you were like saving your, you know, child or whatever.
17:05 Travis McElroy? If you want me to believe that you were pitted in a life or death battle with a copperhead at that one time, you had a sword with you. You are straining credulity, my friend.
17:16 Griffin McElroy? A little bit.
17:17 Travis McElroy? Unless you're, if you're a time traveling 1800s military.
17:22 Griffin McElroy? You may be wasting unless there on, in case you.
17:24 Travis McElroy? I didn't pause.
17:25 Travis McElroy? Unless can never be deployed for time travel. Travis, you know the law.
17:29 Griffin McElroy? What if, what if it's a like a cosplay, like a Ren fair? Well, they don't really let you have real sharp swords, I don't think.
17:35 Travis McElroy? Not anymore. After that guy killed a copperhead.
17:39 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, ruined it for the rest of us.
17:41 Travis McElroy? That was our mascot.
17:44 Griffin McElroy? Um, a good way. Yeah. Don't mention this.
17:48 Travis McElroy? Don't mention this. It's also unlicensed like that. Bet one of the first pages of the, the snake guy book is like, don't go unlicensed, just killing snakes with swords, please. Like, we believe that to professionals.
18:03 Travis McElroy? If you're trying to like befriend and, you know, uh, win over someone whose job is both very specific and very dangerous.
18:13 Travis McElroy? Mm hmm.
18:14 Travis McElroy? Do you think they're more impressed by somebody who's like real chill about it? Like this also doesn't scare me. Or are they won over by somebody who's like, what you do is incredible and terrifying and I could never do it.
18:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. I mean, I think that that glowing, but busting up their ego like that would be good. Not busting up, but like, you know, being good, being good to them.
18:39 Travis McElroy? Cause Mark the spider guy on the Caesar show, I think if we had been like, yeah, spiders, we get it. They're cool, man. Yep. You don't need to prove anything to us. I don't think he would have liked that. But the fact that I was scared and eventually I think we were all a little crept out. He was like, oh, I never want to leave here now. Here's all the spiders I have.
18:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah. The difference there, I think, is that Mark was a paid professional, paid to be on our great TV show. And this is just a snake wrangler trying to go about his business and not let people get hit by snakes.
19:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Get hit by snakes.
19:12 Travis McElroy? I don't think you get into that line of work.
19:14 Travis McElroy? You don't know what the commercial is, Griffin.
19:16 Travis McElroy? I don't think you get in that line of work because you love working with people so much, right? Like you don't show up with your big barrel of snakes thinking, God, I hope somebody talks to me today. Well, I hope I get into a big conversation that I am a fucking captive for. And can't leave because you know what I'm doing here with the snakes. Uh, you, I bet there's one in every fucking shoot too, isn't there? You see them trudging up the hill with their little like Jake the Snake Roberts T-shirt on. It's like, come on. Dang it. This is my day now. Can I be your junior snake wrangler, sir?
19:50 Travis McElroy? No, I made my own badge.
19:52 Travis McElroy? I'm looking at me. I'll be real careful. First time you get outside. Oh, you're not so bad. Fuck.
19:58 Travis McElroy? I made my own, one of those like snake kind of hook things out of a coat hanger. No.
20:03 Travis McElroy? Nets. So I brought my net from home.
20:08 Griffin McElroy? This is.
20:09 Travis McElroy? Sorry, you're probably not like that, but like.
20:12 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, no, you're probably cool. I, you, I must be careful. I think that learning, learning something about snakes is important before you go up. Cause you can literally, seriously, you can't just have this, I killed a snake once thing. Seriously, it's, it's fucked up. It doesn't sound great. But also.
20:29 Travis McElroy? You don't come out, you don't come out good in that story.
20:31 Griffin McElroy? No, you don't come out good. You don't come out cool.
20:33 Travis McElroy? Unless the snake was the size of you.
20:36 Griffin McElroy? If you were fighting. That would actually be pretty cool.
20:37 Travis McElroy? Like a huge, human sized snake.
20:40 Griffin McElroy? Maybe you were saving away cooler snake from this shithead snake. Like that could be okay. But I don't know anybody who's a little into snakes. I only know people who do not really have strong feelings about snakes. Or I know people who fucking love snakes, like are so.
20:57 Travis McElroy? Or they hate snakes. There's a third option.
21:00 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I don't understand. I guess Indiana Jones, that one never really made sense to me. What's your life that you're interfacing with snakes enough that you?
21:07 Travis McElroy? Indiana Jones.
21:07 Griffin McElroy? I mean, it's Indiana Jones.
21:08 Travis McElroy? His life.
21:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, no, I'm saying in the modern era, sort of.
21:12 Travis McElroy? Sure.
21:12 Griffin McElroy? Where we've discovered all the treasures.
21:14 Travis McElroy? Gave up on caves and stuff.
21:15 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, well, we're not doing a lot of caves stuff, no, anymore.
21:18 Travis McElroy? The answer, Griffin, is like a third generation snake wrangler who kind of got forced into the life by his dad and his grandfather. And they hate snakes.
21:28 Griffin McElroy? Okay. I'm just saying be careful. Slippery, it's a slippery slope.
21:31 Travis McElroy? And snakes love those.
21:33 Griffin McElroy? Snakes are those. In the Game Chutes and Ladders.
21:37 Travis McElroy? That's a good point. That's an excellent point. The one thing I know about snakes that will never leave me, because I grew up watching the Jeff Corwin experience, is red to black, friend to jack, red to yellow, kill a fellow.
21:51 Griffin McElroy? Friend to all fellows.
21:53 Travis McElroy? Nope.
21:53 Griffin McElroy? No matter what color.
21:55 Travis McElroy? Tell her what that demonic forum, don't do that.
21:57 Griffin McElroy? It's all friends. Now, friends.
21:59 Travis McElroy? His, blood is on your hands.
22:01 Travis McElroy? What it did ruin for me is now every time a TV show uses one of those snakes, it's like red, white, black stripes. And they're like, the snake's got, and I look at him like, red to black, friend to jack, then give me a show. Jeff Corwin taught me, gotta work harder.
22:16 Griffin McElroy? Yellow to red, your new best Fred.
22:19 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's the other one. Yellow to red, drop dead Fred, now avail long streaming.
22:24 Griffin McElroy? Stream that shit. This snake will kill your ass graveyard dead, though. That's that has to be part of the rhyme.
22:30 Travis McElroy? I think one of the best things you could do for this guy is to keep your fucking distance from the snakes. Because job one for this dude is to make sure nobody gets bit by snakes. And you're gonna make that exponentially easier if you give this person a little room to work. So I think shouting is a good first step. Cause you don't want to be anywhere near the snakes.
22:51 Griffin McElroy? You should maybe say one, I think the one thing you can say to them that's acceptable. Is where's the best place for me to stand? So I'm not going to be close to the snakes. And then that's, that'll be your only interaction with them. And you've like guaranteed like, I'm safe. You don't have to worry about me. Maybe that's just what you say. You walk up and say, hey, I know it's your job to keep everyone here safe, but uh. Don't worry about me. You don't have to worry about me. I can handle myself.
23:18 Travis McElroy? What if you walk up and say like, hey, I love snakes. I'd love to help. And they're like, name 15 snakes. Immediately you're, they clock you like they know you're a phony. Name your five favorite celebrity snakes working in the business today. Don't go for like old snakes that used to be famous.
23:33 Travis McElroy? You're gonna try to name that yellow like Burmese python that Britney Spears wore on her shoulders. And he's gonna be like, that snake's dead. Try again. Try again. Snakes live for like a year and a half.
23:43 Travis McElroy? So the one from the Roar video? Good guess. Those guys live forever.
23:49 Travis McElroy? Bow constrictors? Absolutely.
23:51 Griffin McElroy? Absolutely. They don't move much. So they don't need much life.
23:55 Travis McElroy? One, one mouse, they're good for a month. I work in the, I work in a, mice are good. I never had one, man. I'm a human. Get a large public library.
24:04 Griffin McElroy? Swallow a big egg. Whoa.
24:07 Travis McElroy? I love it.
24:09 Griffin McElroy? Don't mind if I do.
24:12 Travis McElroy? Never had an egg, baby. I guess I had an egg. I had an egg. Sorry, guys. I had an egg. I had an egg.
24:19 Griffin McElroy? I'm eating eggs. I'm eating eggs.
24:21 Travis McElroy? That's what you do. You walk up to the snakes. You go, I eat eggs too, brother.
24:26 Travis McElroy? I eat eggs. Hey, hey, hey, how's mouse? Oh no.
24:32 Griffin McElroy? Hey, there's a way to do egg that's, you do not have to stretch out for.
24:37 Griffin McElroy? We eat them almost every day and it doesn't hurt.
24:41 Travis McElroy? Give a snake a soft boiled egg and blow their fucking mind.
24:45 Travis McElroy? He's like, oh, what am I gonna do with my afternoon, dude?
24:51 Griffin McElroy? He's got his big bucket of snakes. You come up to the bucket of snakes. You whisper, if you crack the egg open, you can eat the stuff inside and not have to stretch it all out. And then the snake will look at you and nod. And then you look at the wrangler like, I obviously know what I'm doing.
25:05 Travis McElroy? The shell's no good. You don't need the shell.
25:07 Griffin McElroy? You don't need the shell, guys. You look fucking stupid with your big lump inside you that I know is because you ate the whole egg.
25:14 Travis McElroy? I don't even know if you can poop it out. Where would that even be?
25:19 Griffin McElroy? What's the plan, dude?
25:21 Travis McElroy? You could like, what if you could convince those snakes like, listen, I know you don't think that you could eat this guy that keeps you in prison. I know you don't think you could, but I have seen in books, you could. I think you're one of them that could. You gotta try though. You gotta believe in yourself and just try to eat him one time. You'll be surprised.
25:42 Griffin McElroy? The grasp he has on you is so tenuous.
25:45 Travis McElroy? And the grasp you'll have on him is quite literally, I mean.
25:48 Griffin McElroy? Will be quite literally crushing. Yeah. He's afraid of you. He's trying real hard not to show it because that's what he gets paid money to do, but he's so afraid of you guys. We all are.
25:57 Travis McElroy? I feel like this has turned a little bit on how to coach the snakes into mutiny. Like I, you're never going to be friends with a snake wrangler, but you might become useful to the snakes and they'll keep you alive when it all turns bad. I think it's where we've reached.
26:15 Travis McElroy? I think this person.
26:15 Griffin McElroy? Snakes are cool.
26:16 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. I got to hold one once. It was awesome.
26:19 Travis McElroy? If I was this person, I'd be thinking less about the time I want to spend with the snake wrangler and more about the fact that my ass is going to be in the desert. Do you know the desert wants to kill us? Travis and Griffin and I, we once spent 97 minutes in the desert in Phoenix and a lot of people. I mean, we still talk about it today because it was kind of so harrowing.
26:42 Travis McElroy? Yeah. If you're a snake wrangler and you go to do a commercial shoot in the desert and you brought like six snakes with you that they asked for. But then you see a snake or two just out there in the wild. Do you grab it and add it to the pot? Is that like a bonus?
26:57 Travis McElroy? Especially earlier in the day, one of your snakes is like dipped and you're like, you have to play it off like, yeah, that'll happen. It was his time to go.
27:08 Travis McElroy? His contract was up.
27:13 Travis McElroy? He probably has got a hole somewhere.
27:15 Travis McElroy? God.
27:16 Travis McElroy? It's hard to keep, keep eyes on all of them, you know, they go in holes.
27:19 Travis McElroy? Yeah, the desert's big, huh? Where did he go?
27:22 Travis McElroy? So many fucking holes. Everybody pick a rock, turn it over, yell real loud.
27:27 Travis McElroy? Quick.
27:28 Travis McElroy? He usually comes, he comes like a.
27:31 Travis McElroy? Look around, does anybody see, actually, because I, he is expensive.
27:35 Travis McElroy? Derek?
27:37 Travis McElroy? Derek.
27:37 Travis McElroy? Derek? I don't think he's coming back. Can you imagine for a snake kept in captivity to go do a photo shoot in the desert? Would be like if I was in prison and the warden was like, I'm going to take you to your house for a while, but you're not allowed to touch anything or go in any of the rooms or nothing.
27:54 Griffin McElroy? Could be a sea snake, could be a crate, could be any, there's any other.
27:58 Travis McElroy? Why would they take a sea snake to a photo shoot in the desert?
28:02 Travis McElroy? You know, a sick movie would be about a, a snake that they bring out to the desert for a photo shoot. But he's like a Hollywood snake, right? So he doesn't realize the desert, he should love it. And then when he's in the desert, he meets like a bunch of other snakes that are already in the desert and they, and they're like.
28:22 Griffin McElroy? Choose, just choose, choose. I love you so much. You made Rango again.
28:25 Travis McElroy? That's Rango.
28:26 Griffin McElroy? I don't know how many times, it's like, I know we've been doing this show for a long time, but I feel like on this show, you have created Rango.
28:33 Travis McElroy? It's one of the foundational myths. It's like, that's the problem, right? It's Man vs. Machine, Rango vs. Rango. It's like, it's one of the big ones.
28:42 Travis McElroy? That's true.
28:43 Travis McElroy? Rango versus whatever Rango's about.
28:46 Travis McElroy? It's not a bad movie.
28:48 Griffin McElroy? It's It's okay. I mean, there's obviously some, there's a, there's a message inside that movie that's trying to get out through Justin. Rango talks to Elvis at one point in it. Rango does, I think, do that. Or Frank Sinatra, maybe? Been a minute since I caught Rango.
29:04 Travis McElroy? Can we, can we go to the money zone, maybe? Would that be all right?
29:07 Griffin McElroy? This week, this week, we are sponsored by Rango.
29:26 Travis McElroy? A great sound, yeah, but there's one better sound than that, and it's congratulations, Mr. McRae, you've been accepted for an appointment this afternoon with the best doctor in town for your specific private problem.
29:40 Griffin McElroy? Who is that?
29:41 Travis McElroy? This guy won't tell anybody about.
29:43 Griffin McElroy? I think this is, I think this is Dr. Gargle Balls. Yeah. Zocdoc, their Gargle Balls.
29:49 Travis McElroy? He's not, he's on Zocdoc, and he's the only one who isn't. Thank goodness for that.
29:54 Griffin McElroy? I'm a doctor of philosophy and gargling balls. Yeah, yeah.
29:59 Travis McElroy? Griffin, save us. What's Zocdoc?
30:01 Griffin McElroy? I mean, Zocdoc is a platform where you go and you're like, here's what I need medically, and here's where I'm looking for it, and I would like to have an appointment like today. And then you can just go and they will help you find that, and they will help you find places that are under your insurance. They do so much for you. It is so helpful, especially living in a city like, like DC. Uh, it is tough to find, you know, quality care that is, is, uh, covered under my insurance. And Zocdoc is literally how I've built my basically entire rolodex of healthcare professionals here in the city. Uh, so can't, can't recommend it enough because I put my, I put my, you know, a lot of skin in this particular game.
30:44 Griffin McElroy? Literally. Zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high-quality in-network doctors so you can find someone you love. That's simply what it is.
30:53 Travis McElroy? Which is incredible. And it doesn't matter what city you live in because we all share this same mortal coil, which as we age, requires more and more specialists just to keep us at some kind of solid baseline.
31:04 Griffin McElroy? Sure, sure. Absolutely, Travis. Great point. I feel like you undermined my point a little bit.
31:10 Travis McElroy? No, I supported your point by doing a different point.
31:13 Griffin McElroy? Well, I was like, it's hard sometimes in a big city to find, and you were like, actually, it doesn't.
31:18 Travis McElroy? Well, that's just because, Griffin, you often forget about real Americans out here not living in big cities.
31:24 Griffin McElroy? Whoa.
31:25 Travis McElroy? And I was trying to appeal to my base.
31:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah, no, that's cool.
31:33 Travis McElroy? Very cool.
31:33 Griffin McElroy? Justin, can you finish the ad? Because now there's like a really weird energy.
31:37 Travis McElroy? Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com/MyBrother to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's z o c d o c dot com slash MyBrother. z o c d o c dot com slash MyBrother. Thanks, Zocdoc, for sponsoring this message.
31:54 Griffin McElroy? I should have given you a heads up about that zocdoc dot thing. It's
31:57 Travis McElroy? It's okay.
31:58 Griffin McElroy? It's a lot of short O sounds and it's tough to.
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33:35 Griffin McElroy? I love it, dude.
33:40 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, dude, yeah. I think it's, are we, are we retiring the I wanna rock?
33:45 Travis McElroy? No, it's back, it's back. Honestly, that, I think Bing Bong stores them next to each other in the lot, in the library. It just ranges from one.
33:53 Griffin McElroy? Bing Bong stores the Edgar Winter Group's Frankenstein right next to butt rock anthem, I wanna rock.
34:00 Travis McElroy? It's just like guitar sound, loud guitar sounds. He's getting up there.
34:04 Griffin McElroy? Okay, Twisted Sister. So yeah, I guess, I guess.
34:07 Travis McElroy? And Mr. Mr., that's where mine are. Burger King, this is a big story, guys. And I think when you realize the gravity of it and sort of the levity that you're serving right now, I think you're gonna be embarrassed.
34:20 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
34:21 Travis McElroy? Burger King is elevating the Whopper for the first time in a decade. Guest feedback, like many decisions recently, drove upgrades to the bun, packaging, and mayo.
34:35 Griffin McElroy? Mayo upgrades, huh?
34:37 Travis McElroy? Burger King, yeah, before we get into the, the meat of the matter, if you will, burger stuff. I don't love right off the bat, thinking about.
34:51 Griffin McElroy? What, what have I been fucking?
34:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah, Burger King decided like, they had at some point, had two mayos, and they're like, I mean, this is.
35:00 Travis McElroy? I mean, it's mayonnaise.
35:02 Griffin McElroy? This one's faster. It comes out faster from the bottle and we gotta save time when we blast it out. So the other one's thicker and is mayonnaise.
35:10 Travis McElroy? It is.
35:10 Griffin McElroy? But this one comes out of the bottle so fast and that's huge for us.
35:13 Travis McElroy? The Whopper is a burger with nearly 70 years of equity, having entered the arena in 1957.
35:21 Griffin McElroy? Is it 69? It's 69 and they didn't want to say 69 years. They didn't. No, they didn't. They knew. Easy clown.
35:27 Travis McElroy? It is. Yeah. A hundred percent Travis. Travis, a hundred percent right. Having entered the arena in 1957.
35:35 Griffin McElroy? Hooink. There was definitely a version of this press release that said with 69 years and we've got new mayo. And it was like, no, no, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You can't have 69 and new mayo.
35:47 Travis McElroy? Can I see you in my office, Derek?
35:49 Griffin McElroy? New Year's Eve rolls around. You know, the Burger King execs will be like, three, two, one. Oh, right. We're free.
35:57 Travis McElroy? We should have been making this year a lot harder on Burger King. I didn't realize.
36:02 Travis McElroy? They've spent the better part of three years considering how it could elevate the Whopper. And two of those brand president, Tom Curtis says, we're figuring out how, what it better not do.
36:12 Griffin McElroy? Huh.
36:12 Travis McElroy? This is the quote, you treat the Whopper like it's a supermodel and you want to put them in tuxedo.
36:21 Travis McElroy? You don't want to put them in a leisure suit. Guys, I'm reading that quote verbatim. You want to treat the Whopper like it's a supermodel and you want to put them in tuxedo.
36:31 Griffin McElroy? Tuxedo.
36:31 Travis McElroy? You don't want to.
36:32 Griffin McElroy? Sorry. Does it say you want to put them in tuxedo?
36:36 Travis McElroy? So guys, I am going to, cause sometimes.
36:39 Griffin McElroy? What if you're modeling leisure suits?
36:41 Travis McElroy? People give me a, Travis, sometimes you guys give me a little bit of trouble. So I'm going to copy. I'm going to copy the line. So one of you can read it.
36:51 Griffin McElroy? You want to treat the Whopper like it's a supermodel, he says, and you want to put them in tuxedo.
36:58 Griffin McElroy? You don't want to put them in a leisure suit.
37:00 Travis McElroy? I know that it's a typographical error, but I like to think it's how the boss of Burger King thinks you need to talk to people like, our burger is supermodel. You put in tuxedo is good. Two for you. Like, look, like that McDonald's.
37:15 Griffin McElroy? Tuxedo wears a cool James Bond suit.
37:17 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's a slick guy. Burger King announced on Thursday, elevations, not changes to one of the fast food's most iconic items. And the first update in nearly 10 years. This round, like many adjustments of late for the chain, were inspired by guest feedback. Curtis, who recently shared his phone number to hear directly from customers. Yeah, you could text the president of, brand president of Burger King, let him know what you think. He's been gathering.
37:45 Travis McElroy? I got a million texts here that just say, bad mayo.
37:49 Griffin McElroy? Bad mayo, why?
37:51 Travis McElroy? One says, bad bunny, but I don't know what that's related to.
37:54 Griffin McElroy? Give us the thick mayo, Papa. Why did I get 700 texts?
37:59 Travis McElroy? He arrived in 2021. Do you think his first meeting was like, I need our top three smartest, most secretive employees to come in here and explain this mayo situation to me? Because it is like, this is radioactive stuff, guys, and I'm not going to fucking court for you.
38:16 Griffin McElroy? They have their own, they have their own Camp David where they come to fucking brief the new, the new executive suite.
38:25 Travis McElroy? I just picture him taking over in 2021 and saying, I think the reason no one's coming to Burger King anymore here in 2021 is because of the mayo. And being like, pause, pause. I don't think that's it.
38:37 Griffin McElroy? I don't think that's it. It's so thin. Yeah. It comes out so fast, dude.
38:42 Travis McElroy? Uh, let's see. Uh, it began as granular as asking leadership to wear Burger King logos so they could hear from people in restaurants, airports, and everywhere in between, which I will say. I will say I wear a lot of, I wear a lot of logos for like Totino's and Arby's and a lot of sheets and no one's ever given me brand feedback. I will say.
39:04 Travis McElroy? Yeah. I love that idea that if I saw someone in like a 7-Eleven t-shirt, I would be like, that guy must run all 7-Elevens.
39:13 Griffin McElroy? Remember when you guys did the bring up any cup challenge? That was great. Where are you flying to?
39:21 Travis McElroy? York here. Okay. Curtis said Burger King has wanted to elevate the Whopper quote, "For a while, but it's a delicate process." They tested tweaks.
39:31 Travis McElroy? And you don't want to upset the gods.
39:33 Griffin McElroy? The Olympics were just on. We can't update the Whopper when we're busy watching the Olympics.
39:38 Travis McElroy? They tested tweaks and moved deliberately. Quote, "The combination of ingredients is pretty well revered," he says. What Burger King landed on, yeah. What Burger King landed on and finalized Thursday boils down to enhancing points that don't concern the flame grilled beef itself. And that complement the fact Curtis says, "The brand tops the Whopper with daily fresh cut vegetables like tomatoes, onions, and pickles."
40:04 Travis McElroy? Have you heard of these things?
40:05 Travis McElroy? This materialized threefold. Burger King customers suggested the bun could use improvement. Sometimes it showed up smushed. Sesame seeds are falling off? Secondly, they want.
40:16 Griffin McElroy? God damn it.
40:20 Travis McElroy? Secondly, they wanted creamier mayonnaise.
40:22 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
40:23 Travis McElroy? Lastly, and in line with the bun, the packaging could use a fresh look. No one fucking ever, no one ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever has opened a Burger King burger Whopper and thought, God, but the packaging.
40:37 Travis McElroy? You gotta update this packaging, bro.
40:40 Griffin McElroy? The only thing that they didn't touch that they said said was too sacred was the flame grilled nature of the beef. That is, I would say, my largest bit of criticism for Burger King is I feel like you guys have taken that shit way too far. I get you did a whole ad campaign where you're like, we're the only ones flame grilling these motherfuckers, but I feel like you've been continuing to like turn up the amount of that stink.
41:05 Travis McElroy? They're like, the one they announced in the room, like, the one thing we all agree we can't change is the beef, right? And we're all kind of like, um.
41:12 Griffin McElroy? Um, it's really quite bitter.
41:14 Travis McElroy? It's like a clever fart flavor. When you bite into it, Curtis says, you'll get everything that you love about a Whopper.
41:22 Griffin McElroy? Okay. I actually like the thin mayo, so like, I'm just fucked. Are you gonna sell Whopper Classic with the runny, runny mayo that me and my, my Whopper heads like crave?
41:33 Travis McElroy? I want runny mayo on my smushed buns.
41:35 Griffin McElroy? That's all I want with a few sesame seeds missing. Yeah.
41:38 Travis McElroy? He considers the packaging arguably the biggest lever. Burger King will now place Whoppers gently in a half wrap inside a clamshell box. And when a customer orders it, Curtis says, they'll feel as though they're eating something better than they're used to. That's what it says.
41:55 Griffin McElroy? That's really horrible.
41:57 Travis McElroy? God damn it, that's dire. I, ah, man, I'm gonna recover and keep doing my comedy podcast. Jesus.
42:04 Griffin McElroy? I just.
42:04 Travis McElroy? Better than they deserve even.
42:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
42:07 Travis McElroy? These boxed burgers. They might return it, thinking that, no, this must have been meant for some kind of billionaire. Surely, this is not the burger for me. Check the receipt again.
42:19 Griffin McElroy? They asked for this.
42:20 Travis McElroy? Doug Watkins is the name? Not Mr. Moneybags.
42:23 Griffin McElroy? They keep coming back to try to return the burger boxes because they don't fucking understand.
42:29 Travis McElroy? It's too nice.
42:31 Griffin McElroy? They said it's too nice.
42:32 Travis McElroy? You'll probably want to use this again.
42:34 Griffin McElroy? I'm so sorry, my son stole one of the burger boxes instead of returning it.
42:38 Travis McElroy? And from a comedy control standpoint, the box ensures the burger arrives to guests not smushed the way it left the kitchen. So what this, what this, Curtis has a vision here as a customer who's like, oh, man, it's not smushed. This can't be right. I better get the DoorDash guy back. Hey, man, this isn't smushed.
43:03 Travis McElroy? This isn't right. I shit. It's too pretty, man. The bun.
43:06 Griffin McElroy? We've made, we've made every box into a gator case with carved out foam that holds the burger perfectly. Every burger will cost a hundred and thirty dollars, um, but we think it's worth it for it to not be smooshed.
43:21 Travis McElroy? Um, the bun in some feedback was described as quote, not fluffy enough and missing a golden glaze.
43:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. We want glazed buns with thick cream. Glazed buns and thick cream, please.
43:37 Travis McElroy? Oh, and I guess while you're at it, the, um, uh, the bone was described as not fluffy enough and missing a golden glaze. Burger King worked with suppliers to address both of those checks. The better mayonnaise brings the package together. Let's hope not. They stuck with glue.
43:54 Griffin McElroy? If it holds it together, you guys have way overcorrected on this thin mayo thing. It doesn't need to have sort of adhesive properties. I'm just, you know, don't let it dribble down every single time I take a bite.
44:06 Travis McElroy? Curtis explains it took a phenomenal amount of testing to find the right bun. Burger King went to three major markets and rolled out elevated Whoppers without any fanfare. And then it conducted qualitative and quantitative work to understand people's thoughts. With one group, Burger King put the existing Whopper and upgraded one side by side. It then asked them to look at each, talk about them, to share observations and then taste and rate them.
44:34 Griffin McElroy? Okay. Scientific.
44:37 Travis McElroy? Griff, I'm gonna, uh, text you this next quote from Curtis because, uh, I think it's great. It's just like a little standalone.
44:43 Griffin McElroy? Is it gonna make me sound like a sociopath as much as his other quotes have?
44:46 Travis McElroy? Just like a normal guy, like a normal sort of Arthur Miller character.
44:49 Griffin McElroy? Okay, cool. Here we go. Funny thing is, when you get a Whopper in a clamshell box that's got a nice little half wrap around it and you have a glazed bun, you're not going to believe this, but for some reason that makes the lettuce and the burger and the tomato taste better, Curtis says. You just feel like you're having an elevated experience, but it still has the nostalgia and the memory of what you love in a Whopper, which is how those ingredients blend. You're gonna take a bite of this Whopper and think, am I in the 1970s first class area of a jet? This must, must be what it's like. This is incredible.
45:25 Travis McElroy? This is like, if, this is like if I'm magician, it's like. And here's the deal. Her legs are gonna be folded up underneath her. But you're so fucking stupid. I swear to God, when I opened this box, you are going to think she's splitting up. I'm surprised too, at how fucking dumb you are, but I swear it works this way.
45:45 Griffin McElroy? This magic's gonna be a little nicer than the magic you're used to.
45:50 Travis McElroy? This may be more of a Shelbyville magic trick.
45:54 Travis McElroy? This has to make you, okay, sorry, I don't want to skip anything. The second thing Burger King did was enter a market and elevate the Whopper without telling anybody what's going on. Then it asked customers about the restaurant experience and how they rate the Whopper and compared those answers to prior surveys before the switch. As for if changes resonated, Curtis says absolutely. To be clear, he adds, if the results were close or customers didn't notice a difference, Burger King wouldn't have messed with it. The same is true if they came back and said, wow, that's a really big change. So they don't want it to change too much. They just want to be like, hmm.
46:26 Travis McElroy? Hold on, hold on. So he just flat out said, if it was a huge improvement.
46:31 Travis McElroy? Yes, it was a huge improvement.
46:32 Travis McElroy? We wouldn't have done it.
46:33 Travis McElroy? No.
46:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I, um, can you file a class action lawsuit if you are not among the people affected by the action? That we're doing the lawsuit about because.
46:46 Travis McElroy? Griffin, I've wondered about this. If just by knowing about it, my life is worse. Yeah.
46:50 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. If I found out that the Burger King I was eating at was doing a secret test on me. To see if I would notice that the burger mayonnaise is so much thicker. And they came in a box that's nicer than the, uh, the idiot paper that I'm used to wrapping around my hamburgers. I would be so furious. I would never, ever, ever get over that. I would, I would never forgive the Burger King.
47:16 Travis McElroy? You've just sat down at your local Burger King where you like to spend your free time. You're two bites into your Whopper and then just like a man in a suit sidles up the table and goes, hey. Pretty good, huh? I got some, uh, questions for you about that burger. I'm immediately thinking, I'm then poisoned. I'm gonna die. This is the end of my life.
47:35 Travis McElroy? That I would know. He says, that has to make you a little bit nervous too, Curtis says. This is part of American culture and to an extent, some people want to be reminded of the experiences kids. I mean, you're at Burger King, pal. You need to calm down. Burger King is reserved for when you're at your friend's house and his parents are going through a drive through and they don't really know what's good. And then you end up with Burger King. That's a Burger King nostalgia. I don't believe Burger King's a second choice. And I think to say that this is a landmark part of the American experience, the way that your stinky burger tastes is a bit of a stretch.
48:08 Griffin McElroy? So bitter, guys. What's going on in there? I've cooked food on fire before. It doesn't come out so bitter, so, so bitter, guys.
48:16 Travis McElroy? It is my favorite thing about all of these like fast food, like burger places, especially press releases. Always assumes an amount of like people thinking about the food they're consuming from a fast food place. Like what so much is going through the customer's head as they eat this burger. Where what's going through my head is how quickly can I put what is essentially the fuel I need to not like starve? And like not be angry for the next four hours and get on.
48:47 Griffin McElroy? I'm on my way to a doctor's appointment. I'm gonna be there in six minutes. Can I horse this down?
48:51 Travis McElroy? I've never unwrapped a fast food burger and thought, time to really bask in the nostalgia of my childhood. Ah, this takes me back.
49:02 Travis McElroy? Um, Curtis says he's read a lot in recent years about how the QSR category doesn't hear customers. This isn't known for listening. So he, if you remember the, at the BK, have it your way, you rule. That was because Curtis, uh, said he wants to put the brand in the hands of guests and listen to them and let them drive innovation. It should provide consumers with a sense of empowerment. Like, hey, I make the rules. I rule. I get to define what's gonna happen with the brand and I can see that they're listening. And me, I want a burger that's a little bit better, but not too much better or else I shit my fucking pants.
49:39 Griffin McElroy? I'll freak the fuck out, man.
49:40 Travis McElroy? Freak the fuck out and try to flip all the tables over like a big stupid gorilla.
49:45 Griffin McElroy? Do you got, it just hit me.
49:48 Travis McElroy? Your delicious burgers made me insane and I killed my wife. I blame you Burger King.
49:54 Travis McElroy? Too good and different. We're 30 years out from the 90s period where it was like, hey, kids here at Chuck E. Cheese, you can have it your way. Here, you know, McDonald's Play Place, you can have it your way. So now all of those kids are now like in their 40s who are like, I'll tell you what everybody wants. Have it their way. Make their choices.
50:15 Griffin McElroy? That's the cycle. That's the beautiful.
50:16 Travis McElroy? The winning creator from that, that campaign took home a million dollars. And second place in that, that was the one with the maple bourbon burger.
50:24 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, sure.
50:25 Travis McElroy? And the, the other two took home a few hundred thousand and a hundred thousand, respectively. Curtis says, we didn't invent them. Our guests invented them. And when you wake up every day and you have that kind of power, you have that kind of opportunity, then you want to be involved in something like that.
50:46 Travis McElroy? Okay. So every day they're giving away a million dollars?
50:52 Griffin McElroy? 1.3 million, I think.
50:54 Travis McElroy? Is he saying in this case that Burger King has that kind of power, that kind of opportunity? Or is he saying that he's envisioning a consumer that wakes up every day and be like, I got some big changes to make at Burger King today?
51:09 Travis McElroy? I don't have a lot going my way now, but I do feel like I can pressure Burger King into thickening up that there mayo by a few, uh, few degrees.
51:23 Travis McElroy? Is it possible? I, listen, my kids are staying with their grandma for an indeterminate period of time and work fell through, but I am going to get that fucking chicken parmesan sandwich back on the menu.
51:35 Travis McElroy? This is what I'm saying. Maybe it's possible that we as consumers have not pushed have it your way far enough. Like if you walked in to the restaurant and you were like, you guy working the fryer, you're on the grill now. Grill lady, you're on you, I want you on the window. And they're like, okay, yeah, I mean, it's his way, I guess.
51:55 Griffin McElroy? I'd like a chef's counter table, please. We don't do, I would like that. I would like a chef's counter table.
52:00 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
52:03 Travis McElroy? So congratulations to Burger King on the the relaunch on February
52:09 Griffin McElroy? Quality of life, a quality of life change, not really a raise.
52:14 Travis McElroy? On February 17th, Curtis shared a phone number publicly so people could text or call and share their thoughts with Curtis himself responding. When asked how it's going so far, he responds, quote, "You cannot imagine."
52:36 Griffin McElroy? Can you, you, you see a friend somewhere that you haven't seen in a while and you say, "How's it going?" And they respond, "You cannot imagine." There's no way, there's no way your brain reads the subtext of that as so good. Are you aware of the Sega Genesis character Sonic the Hedgehog? He, that man lives in my phone in a number of ways now that.
53:01 Travis McElroy? They asked her how it's going and he just sat back in silence for 20 minutes like.
53:10 Travis McElroy? And he doesn't want to lie because it's too true to him. Even with the corporate wall there, he can't be like, "It's been going great to hear." There's some deeper moral part of him that can't lie about what he's experienced.
53:22 Griffin McElroy? The next, the next sentence of that presser is, "Don't, don't do what I did."
53:27 Travis McElroy? He says, "I, I start to feel self-conscious when I'm answering text messages at 11 at night. Like if some guests are going, "No, I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't want to talk to you at night." I got, I gotta call this, we gotta call this guy. What do you guys call this guy? Trav, you want to call this guy?
53:44 Griffin McElroy? No, we can't.
53:46 Travis McElroy? Whatever. He says it's been evenly.
53:50 Travis McElroy? He says it's been evenly split between praise and difficult conversations.
53:58 Travis McElroy? I'll bet, I'll bet, pal, I'll bet.
54:03 Travis McElroy? I'll bet.
54:04 Griffin McElroy? There's a lot of different ways that a conversation can be difficult.
54:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah, some of them, to be frank, are both, and those are perhaps the most troubling of all.
54:13 Travis McElroy? I just wish if I could make one change, I would have stated that if you call or text me, it does need to be about Burger King. Uh huh. Because I've had some difficult conversations having nothing to do with the business or product we make. And those.
54:29 Griffin McElroy? Oh. You don't understand. You don't understand.
54:33 Travis McElroy? The brain level commitments will take time to develop.
54:35 Griffin McElroy? I really love the Whopper.
54:37 Travis McElroy? He said, I can't believe how much love I've heard for the original chicken sandwich in the last three days. He even reportedly received a marriage proposal in the opening round. None since Curtis jokes. I mean, is it?
54:50 Travis McElroy? Cause he's married now.
54:52 Travis McElroy? He's a pretty, pretty good. He's not a bad looking dude. It seems like he's pretty well set up. He's the president of fucking Burger King. Like I shoot your shot.
55:00 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man.
55:00 Travis McElroy? Give it a whirl. Send a selfie. See if he likes your tents, you know, try it. After a couple of weeks, he plans to set up dedicated office hours and invite other members of leaderships to do so as well.
55:12 Travis McElroy? I bet he does. We're taking a rotation now, Doug.
55:16 Griffin McElroy? I need help. Please set me free. It's like the, it's the cursed cave. Once you wander into his office, he runs out. He says, now you're stuck in here. Enjoy. Here's my phone.
55:25 Travis McElroy? Listen, if you want me to come down to the Burger King Route 60 and give them a piece of my mind, cause the Burger King on Fifth Avenue got torn down to make room for sheets at a Starbucks. I will come down to their Route 60 Burger King. If you're having office hours and you're set up with like a little, you know, desk, you got the little nameplate and what all, I'll come down there and tell you what I think of your chicken sandwich.
55:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, it's fine.
55:48 Travis McElroy? It's fine.
55:49 Griffin McElroy? Now, let's talk about your sooty beef.
55:52 Travis McElroy? Cause it's my little brother can't handle your sooty beef. I've got him on FaceTime. Griffin, tell him what you were telling me about the beef.
56:00 Griffin McElroy? It's so sooty and bitter, my friend.
56:03 Travis McElroy? Did you hear him?
56:04 Travis McElroy? Can I jump into just real quick?
56:06 Travis McElroy? Yeah, hold on, I got him on call waiting.
56:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Chris, Chris, back up the fries. You had really crispy fries for a while and I love them.
56:12 Griffin McElroy? For like a week, you guys were like, the fries rip ass now.
56:16 Travis McElroy? And then after that. Stop doing it.
56:18 Griffin McElroy? Limp dick fries? What's going on?
56:21 Travis McElroy? Also, will you marry me?
56:24 Griffin McElroy? Marry us all, please.
56:25 Travis McElroy? Bye.
56:26 Griffin McElroy? JK.
56:27 Travis McElroy? Thanks for listening to our podcast. It's called My Brother, My Brother and Me. We've been doing it since, if you can believe this, 2010.
56:35 Griffin McElroy? Hey, sorry that we're late this week.
56:36 Travis McElroy? We're sorry that we're late this week.
56:38 Griffin McElroy? We haven't been late with an episode in several years, I think.
56:42 Travis McElroy? Pretty good.
56:42 Griffin McElroy? So you're actually not allowed to be upset.
56:45 Travis McElroy? Didn't want to do it.
56:45 Griffin McElroy? Travis had flu, B. Travis, get this, Travis couldn't do it because he had the flu and then later we found out it was B type flu.
56:52 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I don't even know what that means.
56:55 Griffin McElroy? Unless you're rocking with A, like.
56:57 Travis McElroy? That's what it, don't waste my time. Hey, Griff, I heard you got a book coming out real soon. Is that right?
57:02 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, it comes out, uh, next week on March 10th. Yeah, it's a choose your own adventure book from, from the line of choose your own adventure books. It's called The Stowaway. It's a outer space, uh, survival tale and, uh, it's written for middle grade readers or I would say readers even older than that would have a great adventure in space with me.
57:24 Travis McElroy? Sounds like nonfiction. It's nonfictional?
57:27 Griffin McElroy? It is purely fictional and bit.ly slash Griffin Stowaways where you can go to preorder that.
57:32 Travis McElroy? Or Stowaway and Griffin.
57:35 Griffin McElroy? No, I don't want people to go to that link.
57:37 Travis McElroy? Inner space, my brother.
57:38 Griffin McElroy? I don't know.
57:41 Griffin McElroy? So anyway, if you preorder the book, it would be really helpful for me. It comes out next week and it's great. I'm really proud of it and I'm, I'm excited for people to read it.
57:48 Travis McElroy? Best. We've also got new merch over at macro merch.com. We've got helping is always a free action t-shirt, uh, which is frankly, and listen, I love all of our stuff, but it's gorgeous. I want to highlight how pretty this thing is. Check it out. And make it stick enamel pins. Uh, go check those out. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Border Angels, whose services include educational programs, water drops in the deserts, day laborer outreach, familius reunitus, immigration bond fund program and shelter aid support in Tijuana to aid migrants and asylum seekers in need. So go check that out at macro merch.com.
58:27 Griffin McElroy? Follow us on YouTube, or the McElroy Family on YouTube. We do a bunch of streams. We stream four days a week now, between the, between the three of us, uh, doing a lot of gaming stuff. Last Tuesday of every month, we're doing Clubhouse. Uh, it's a grand old time. You can follow also McElroy Entertainment System on Instagram to be informed. Whenever we're doing our, our gaming stream, or putting up videos, or anything, we're trying to do a bunch more stuff for y'all this year, and a lot of it's happening over there.
58:52 Travis McElroy? Cause it's better than you deserve. It's better than you're used to. You're gonna turn on the stream and be like, whoa!
58:56 Griffin McElroy? Better than you even will know how to fuck with.
58:58 Travis McElroy? Is this all for me? Sheesh!
59:00 Griffin McElroy? And now, maybe, Rachel, can you just like splice in when Travis, did it make a sa- oh, damn. Justin's right out with a water bottle flip, right into the fucking camera.
59:09 Travis McElroy? Water bottle right at the camera.
59:11 Griffin McElroy? Alright.
59:12 Travis McElroy? My name's Justin McElroy.
59:13 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy.
59:14 Griffin McElroy? No, I'm sorry. I don't actually, I watched you throw that. That was a little flick. I think we do, if this is gonna be how it's gonna end this shit-
59:21 Travis McElroy? No, you're right. It's fair. It's fair, you're right.
59:22 Griffin McElroy? We do need to fucking hum it.
59:23 Travis McElroy? That was just me being rude then. For the record, that was just rude.
59:25 Griffin McElroy? Okay. You have a what you can throw?
59:27 Travis McElroy? A top hat.
59:28 Griffin McElroy? Show me. Why do you have that at arm's reach?
59:32 Travis McElroy? In case I need it.
59:34 Griffin McElroy? Okay, but, uh, are you, don't throw it frisbee style, throw it baseball style. Do you know what I mean? Don't odd job it, but-
59:41 Travis McElroy? I was gonna odd job, it's not spherical, Griffin.
59:43 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I know, but I still-
59:44 Travis McElroy? What if I can get it on the microphone?
59:47 Griffin McElroy? Okay, if you can, okay, show me, show me how that, show me the fit first.
59:51 Travis McElroy? If I can land it like this.
59:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. No, if you can land a ringer on the microphone Travis, that'll be an all-timer, dude.
59:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah, but if you do that, like, if you could start, if you could join the Riverside Call with your phone-
1:00:01 Griffin McElroy? Wait, okay, hold on, your chair bumped the microphone, dude. You fucked it up. You gotta move the chair, or else you won't get a clean seal. Good.
1:00:09 Travis McElroy? Okay, here we go.
1:00:10 Griffin McElroy? Alright, this is gonna be cool, dude. And, and I need to know that you're far from it, and you're not just like dropping it on it. I can see your shadow.
1:00:20 Griffin McElroy? Huge fucking whiff. I did not even see the hat enter the frame. Just an enormous whiff. Did not even see the hat.
1:00:27 Travis McElroy? Justin McElroy!
1:00:29 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy.
1:00:30 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy. I am, that is so disappointing.
1:00:33 Travis McElroy? My brother, my brother, me kiss your dad square on the lips.
1:01:08 Speaker 08 Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.
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