Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 804: Aaron Space, Boy Astronaut About this episode We're well-rested and our limb movements are OFF THE CHARTS, so we're ready to breathe out advice about confusingly-themed weddings, secret Arby's concerts, and a pressing need for Dr Pepper.
Suggested talking points: Cool Pap, Hot Crunchy Cuboid Chips, Doubledocs for a Buck, Squarespace is My Dad, Beef Racer, Vegan + Arbys
Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis Big Dog, Wolf, Vroom, Vroom, The Heater McElroy.
1:23 Griffin McElroy? What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin, 30 under 30, media luminary, built Ford tough.
1:31 Griffin McElroy? Rand Johnson McElroy. He needs something pitching, like some sort of like throwing your baseball or-
1:36 Travis McElroy? If you don't mind me saying, Trav, you look so well rested.
1:40 Griffin McElroy? That's true.
1:41 Travis McElroy? Is that in my head or do you have a little bit of the glow? No, I've got the glow, Justin, because I, and I don't want to brag, got myself a CPAP, more like an A-plus pap, if you ask me. That's right.
1:55 Griffin McElroy? I imagine C stands for something pretty important, like cool.
1:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
1:59 Griffin McElroy? It's cool.
1:59 Travis McElroy? What does your body do?
2:01 Griffin McElroy? C and CPAP means cool pap, right?
2:02 Travis McElroy? Correct.
2:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, cool. What did your body do the first time you strapped a mask to your face and you were like, "And now we sleep"?
2:10 Travis McElroy? What's your body like?
2:11 Griffin McElroy? Ah, interesting.
2:12 Travis McElroy? I don't believe.
2:13 Griffin McElroy? You have a head belt on and that's new for me. Asleep.
2:17 Travis McElroy? The first thing my face did is what I imagine someone in the Alien film franchise feels. When a face hugger latches on where all you want to do is claw at your head. And free yourself from it. And then the second thing my body did, because I was instructed by the person who gave me the mask and whatnot. Um, it has like a negative pressure thing, you know, it's blowing, basically it's blowing air into my nose and then kind of also. When I breathe out, pulling out and.
2:47 Griffin McElroy? Oh man, that's fucking dope. You can just like chill and not even breathe. That's so sick.
2:53 Travis McElroy? And then they were like. For the earth? Good for you. Yeah, man. Yeah. Um, and then they were like, but you're gonna want to keep your mouth closed. Because if you open your mouth while it's on, air will pour out of your mouth.
3:08 Griffin McElroy? Wait, did that one?
3:08 Travis McElroy? Nose air. Yeah, it's like a dragon. Uh, it feels like if I open my mouth while I have my CPAP on. Uncontrollably.
3:20 Travis McElroy? Like all the air just shoots out of my mouth. So as soon as I put.
3:24 Griffin McElroy? It's like the, it's like the, uh, the, the machine from, uh, Princess Bride. It's just like pumping the air through you.
3:33 Travis McElroy? As soon as I put it on, my ADHD brain was like, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth.
3:39 Griffin McElroy? You gotta know the sound it makes, Travis.
3:41 Travis McElroy? The vacuum, create the vacuum. Look at the sun, look at the sun.
3:43 Griffin McElroy? I, your ADHD won't let you sleep until you open your mouth. So I can hear what sound it makes.
3:48 Travis McElroy? And so when I opened my mouth, it was like, uh, imagine a film. Where there's like an evil demon or something pulling the life essence out of a human being. It was that. It felt like that. Like everything was being pulled out of me.
4:03 Griffin McElroy? But then it was good, right? Like eventually it was like super good.
4:06 Travis McElroy? Well, the other thing that's fun about having ADHD and a CPAP is the CPAP is monitored.
4:11 Griffin McElroy? A lot of letters. It's like you're eight letters deep at that point.
4:14 Travis McElroy? A lot of letters, Travis. Maybe you should just take a sleeping pill, huh?
4:18 Griffin McElroy? It's a lot of letters.
4:20 Travis McElroy? This is the thing, Justin. This is fun. It's not exactly the sleep. That's the problem. My random limb movements are off the charts, baby. Anything above fifteen an hour is abnormal. I was averaging forty-nine an hour.
4:35 Griffin McElroy? So I'm just Mr. Noodle. Kung Fu fighting.
4:38 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. I'm over here flailing around. And so the CPAP is remotely.
4:43 Griffin McElroy? Wait, wait, real quick, real quick. Let you just get a handle of the ball.
4:47 Travis McElroy? I bought jokes, a massage. I bought jokes a five-minute massage. So I let him actually go get that, which is cool. I was really struggling with those random limb movements. Uh, it might have been my brain meds. I don't know. That was part of the theory. But you know what actually helped me is magnesium.
5:07 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
5:07 Travis McElroy? Wow, holy shit. I, hey.
5:10 Griffin McElroy? When you said send jokes out of the room.
5:12 Travis McElroy? Actual chill up my spine just now.
5:17 Griffin McElroy? I got a real chill up my spine. I don't know if it's from like, oh, God, this is incredibly vulnerable for our audience. Or I don't know if it's because I'm looking at Ghosts of Christmas Future and more future and seeing fucking magnesium and cyber nose implants.
5:32 Travis McElroy? That was so mean.
5:33 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
5:35 Travis McElroy? I mean, but to be fair, it is a fun thing about having a three-year gap between each of us. Is you can kind of chart like, well, I better start saving for that.
5:45 Griffin McElroy? Hey, Griffin, you should be so lucky. You're forty-two. Juice, you're forty-two?
5:49 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
5:50 Griffin McElroy? Okay. I got, I'm setting the timer. That's how long I got before I need the implants. And then Juice, a few years after that, thanks for having the same birthday. Makes it real easy for me. Magnesium all day.
6:00 Travis McElroy? So it's remotely monitored.
6:02 Griffin McElroy? I wish I'd started it sooner. And Griffin, you will also have the Spider-Man surgery to look forward to. We get the, the wrist, uh, cut up.
6:09 Travis McElroy? I should get that done.
6:10 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah, Trav, how, how, how's the sleep been lately?
6:14 Travis McElroy? So it's remotely monitored. If I don't wear it for four hours a night, uh, twenty-one nights out of thirty, you take it away. Um, so that's a fun thing to know when I am still waking up in the middle of the night. And then I have to do mental calculations real quick to see if I can take the mask off yet or not.
6:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that's cool.
6:35 Travis McElroy? Wait, what are you talking about? They take it away. What do you mean? Like, or I guess I have to pay for it out of pocket or whatnot. I don't know. Oh, is it like you're not, you're a bad boy who's not following? Yeah, I'm just renting the CPAP machine. I'm renting that good sleep air.
6:51 Griffin McElroy? And I imagine that's the insurance company making that decision and not the medical professionals.
6:55 Travis McElroy? I have to assume so. I think, can I tell you my CPAP thoughts as an outsider? Now that you've experienced it, you can tell me. Yes, please. But to me, I, somebody who's done a medical history podcast for, uh, 13 years. To me, the CPAP machine has always been like, super helpful for the, it's been a game changer, a life changer for the people that need it. But it has always seemed to me like one of the main machines that future people are gonna be like, what was this? Nice try, guys.
7:25 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I mean, they'll have some way of sending nano machines. Yeah, of course. And guess what? Fuck off, future people. We don't have nano machines.
7:32 Travis McElroy? We're doing our fucking best.
7:33 Griffin McElroy? We're doing our fucking shit, Justin Jr. Come on, dude, 2060 people, get out of our butt cracks for a second. We didn't have nano machines. We had to pump it in there.
7:41 Travis McElroy? Do you know our apprentice, our president is the guy from Apprentice?
7:45 Griffin McElroy? Are you guys fucking kidding? We're doing our goddamn best.
7:49 Travis McElroy? The guy in charge of medicine is RFK Jr. You're lucky you got to exist.
7:54 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, actually, history, if you're looking back at this with research, go away, go away.
8:01 Travis McElroy? You can't judge that by our year standards. We always know that in the moment.
8:05 Griffin McElroy? Everything's fucking weird and so bad in a new, different way, literally every morning when we wake up. So fuck off, future people. You don't even get it.
8:14 Travis McElroy? So if you're in the future and you're thinking, they thought it was all normal, but now we look back, no.
8:19 Griffin McElroy? No, dude, we fucking get it for sure, for sure.
8:23 Travis McElroy? I'm gonna be honest, I was, I was hanging a lot of hopes on this. I'm a 42 year old man.
8:28 Griffin McElroy? Oh, dude, of course.
8:29 Travis McElroy? And every time, every time I get a new thing, the doctor's like, oh, I think it's this. I'm like, this is gonna fix it all. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow. I'm gonna feel fucking amazing. And then it's like, no, we're still just trying to maintain.
8:42 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
8:42 Travis McElroy? A lev, a level of okay.
8:46 Griffin McElroy? Right.
8:46 Travis McElroy? Based on your constant, you know, failing. We're gonna try to get you back to where you were at 24, when you could stay up past 11. Yeah. That's all, that's all we can try to shoot for at this point.
8:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
8:57 Travis McElroy? So now I've got a bike guard, I've got a CPAP, I guess I'm taking magnesium.
9:02 Griffin McElroy? Now here's what I'm, my whole thing with CPAP.
9:04 Travis McElroy? I'm more, I'm more plastic than man. Sorry, go ahead.
9:07 Griffin McElroy? My news, my symptoms like fucking crazy. My symptoms like going absolutely hog wild in there. So my breathing's never been great. I use breathing machines, not machines, like strips and magnets and all that jazz. I do think a CPAP would be maybe something hel- helpful for me, but also I'm kinda waiting until they got screens on them. I'm kinda waiting until it's like a full like, like a full wraparound half head. Uh, sort of, I guess more futuristic VR, AR.
9:38 Travis McElroy? Do, that's actually good. As long as we're there, Trav, can you do like scent blasted yet? Can you do like nacho cheese air?
9:46 Griffin McElroy? Like at one of those cool hip oxygen bars that are definitely still a thing.
9:50 Travis McElroy? They don't advertise that with the product, but god damn it, if I haven't thought about it. Man, I think I totally could. I got a hose, my hose comes out of the top of my head of the mask.
10:02 Griffin McElroy? Oh, that's cool.
10:03 Travis McElroy? I can just fully flip around in my, uh, my, my dollar store Bane cosplay. And it's all I want is for that to smell like some sick ass eucalyptus or whatever. Yeah. The first time, the first time your kids come in while you're wearing it in the middle of the night, how are you gonna avoid the temptation not to pretend you're the predator?
10:22 Griffin McElroy? Cause I definitely would be like.
10:24 Travis McElroy? Yes, sir. Welcome to my room, baby. Yeah. It's me, your daddy. The difference between you and me, baby. Is you're afraid of the dark and I was born in it and I need this to breathe and not flail around in the middle of the night. Uh, Teresa also has one. So we have his and hers magic like masks.
10:46 Griffin McElroy? Oh, that's cute. Do you guys wrap your elbows around when you put them on it?
10:49 Travis McElroy? Yeah, sometimes.
10:52 Travis McElroy? What's your air like? You know, it's really romantic.
10:54 Griffin McElroy? They looped each other's tubes in an infinity symbol that's on the wall. It's like a decorative tubing.
10:59 Travis McElroy? That's cute. So now if our children come in, I can only imagine like years from now, Dot will be like, all I can remember is my parents in these alien pods. Hooked up. I don't know what data was being transmitted through their noses.
11:13 Griffin McElroy? What if you've got a pipe organ in the back, right? As your headboard and you had the tubes like coming out of that, that would look like badass, dude.
11:20 Travis McElroy? Fuck dude, that'd be awesome.
11:22 Griffin McElroy? That would be so cool.
11:25 Travis McElroy? This is an advice show and uh, we are, my advice, take care of your human body.
11:31 Griffin McElroy? Especially earlier, the better.
11:33 Travis McElroy? Magnesia, magnesium, pound it. You could probably track some of the lifestyle advice we were giving in 2010. And our current situation and like draw a flow chart to like the repercussions of that. Those choices now.
11:47 Griffin McElroy? When my scalp is going buck wild and I am fucking fighting it tooth and nail. And then I go back to episode one of my Bim Bam where I'm like shampoo and soap is the same thing. I'm like, Jesus Christ, man. That's why it's actually cool to be able to draw, like draw, I can submit episode one of my Bim Bam as medical history to my dermatologist. It'd be like, this is why my scalp is the way it is. I used to think shampoo and soaps was the same.
12:13 Travis McElroy? Time to do a question. I work at a large public library. Thank you to our librarians. I went to a public library this week and it was a beautiful one, the Campbell County Public Library. If you've ever been to that branch, gorgeous. Gorgeous. I know. It's great. You guys remember that library? Yeah, man.
12:31 Griffin McElroy? Support our libraries, I guess.
12:33 Travis McElroy? I work, I work at a large public library. Only one vending machine in the employee break room has Dr. Pepper. Several times now, the beverage has failed to fall after I've already paid for it. Doesn't happen every time, so I keep falling for it. A man comes in to restock the vending machine once every one to two weeks. Brothers, how do I tell this man he owes me several Dr. Peppers? Can I ask him for one while he's restocking or do I take my losses and pick a different soda? That's from parched and pepperless in Rochester. I think you can do it once. But if every time this person comes in to restock, you're like, happened again. Yeah. It's, it's gonna seem like a scam, even if it's true.
13:16 Travis McElroy? You can't do several at once, right? Because I think the onus is on you. If it happens once, I think that's life, right? And you can be upset about that, but if you continue to pump bucks into this Dr. Pepper machine and you know that you're just addicted to gambling at that point, you know it's not gonna hit sometimes.
13:36 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
13:38 Travis McElroy? Now they did say in additional details that it was high up so they couldn't get another drink to knock it down. But you could get a second Dr. Pepper to knock that first Dr. Pepper down the chute. Then you have two Dr. Peppers.
13:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
13:52 Travis McElroy? One's not gonna go to waste.
13:54 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
13:55 Travis McElroy? That's true. Yeah. Well, but do you think that the next person gets one, it's like a dub?
14:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
14:04 Travis McElroy? It's like double docks?
14:05 Griffin McElroy? You gotta wait. You gotta wait for the next person to come and get Dr. Pepper. And when they get a dub, you're like, one of those is mine.
14:12 Travis McElroy? That's mine. Those double docks is mine. You got double docks for a buck.
14:15 Griffin McElroy? That sucks. That sucks.
14:17 Travis McElroy? That sucks. Every time one gets stuck, you're gonna wanna take a picture of it with like today's newspaper next to it.
14:24 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
14:25 Travis McElroy? And then you can show that to the vending machine person and be like, here's proof that they were held hostage from me. Please return my sons. That's so embar- the one thing that it's such, that's such an easy business to be in. The honestly, the vending machine business.
14:42 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
14:42 Travis McElroy? Like podcasting is easier, granted, but like the vending machine thing, all you gotta do is make sure that big boy pays out every time. Like, and if you're like, hey, the big boy didn't pay out this time.
14:53 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
14:54 Travis McElroy? As a vending machine operator, that shouldn't just be a hassle of the job. It should be job one. You failed in the one thing, you know what I mean?
15:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. I mean, the only other maintenance request I personally have is just no products in there that they don't make anymore. I don't care if things are expired or past their prime. I get that. But like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna roll up to a vending machine and one of the options is fruitopia. Cause then I know that everything else in that vending machine is probably pretty suspect.
15:22 Travis McElroy? Sometimes an operator, this happens with new operators a lot. You'll read about it in the trades where they will want to position the machine at what they think of as more of an extreme angle.
15:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, dude.
15:34 Travis McElroy? So it's more of like a lean.
15:35 Griffin McElroy? Wedged.
15:36 Travis McElroy? And that is creates an incredibly dangerous situation. So that is actually the biggest problem as a vending machine owner. Number one is don't let them fall off.
15:45 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
15:45 Travis McElroy? That's like, don't put it at like a funny. Any angle or something like extreme angle.
15:50 Griffin McElroy? You guys know how especially during Shark Week, people like to quote the statistic that fewer people are killed by sharks each year than are killed by when vending machines fall on them? And do you think that the vending machine owners and operators of America are like, what the fuck, man? Why are we out here catching strays, dude?
16:08 Travis McElroy? We've never like, we've never thrown shit at sharks.
16:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
16:12 Travis McElroy? Why are you, why are you out here?
16:15 Griffin McElroy? You know what else causes more death than vending machines? Like, heart disease, like a bunch of shit. So why are we catching strays out here, dude?
16:23 Travis McElroy? We're not hearts.
16:24 Griffin McElroy? We're just trying to fling Andy Cap's hot fries at anyone with a buck. And I don't understand, they don't make those anymore.
16:30 Travis McElroy? Shit.
16:31 Griffin McElroy? They, they, yeah. Do they still make Andy Cap's hot fries?
16:34 Travis McElroy? I'm certain.
16:35 Griffin McElroy? I think they just don't make Andy Cap anymore. I love that there's, I love Andy Cap's out here and he's making snacks and I love snacks. Fries is such a wild thing to call that treat. Those are not even close, my guy. Not even.
16:49 Travis McElroy? Not even close. Well, that's just another thing for him and his wife to argue about.
16:54 Griffin McElroy? Why was he the one that they were like, we need a mascot for our hot crunchy chips? Our hot crunchy Cuboid Chips? They were like, what about famous spouse arguer Andy Cap?
17:07 Travis McElroy? They're crunchier than you want it to be. They're hotter than you want it to be. They're the kind of snack you eat when you just want to feel something and that's Andy Cap's energy, right? They were already using the Lockhorns for pretzel bites. So they were like, we need somebody else. Who else hates their wife?
17:22 Griffin McElroy? These are Midwestern Takis and they're, we gotta get Andy.
17:28 Travis McElroy? Get Andy.
17:29 Griffin McElroy? We gotta get Andy for these.
17:31 Travis McElroy? I like the ones where like, you think about the Flint, you ever think about the Flintstones like that? Like contextually, there's not a, you know, there's not a cartoon. People aren't watching, the kids aren't watching that, but they do make vitamins and cereal. What a wild character.
17:44 Griffin McElroy? Just so wild, man.
17:45 Travis McElroy? When I got there, one of the things that I knew about growing up were this dinosaur family that sold you vitamins and cereal.
17:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
17:52 Travis McElroy? Whoa, why?
17:54 Griffin McElroy? I do think they went with the Pebbles connection there. I do think everyone else kind of just kind of. Slid into the slid into the role.
18:02 Travis McElroy? But there's not, I'm trying to think of like, there's not like, oh, there used to be a Trix Rabbit cartoon. That was famous, like BB and Dot, we were eating some cocoa pebbles and they were like, who are those people? And I was like, great question, and I don't know how to explain this in a way that won't make you question my understanding of human history.
18:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you'll, you'll, you're not gonna get it right.
18:26 Travis McElroy? Have another question.
18:27 Griffin McElroy? Please.
18:28 Travis McElroy? This is, I, we're, we're helping. I feel like we're really actually on a roll.
18:31 Griffin McElroy? We've done one.
18:32 Travis McElroy? For helping.
18:32 Griffin McElroy? Well, I'm, I'm. We've done one. Oh, I guess the magnesium thing. Okay.
18:37 Travis McElroy? I'm chaperoning a high school trip to DC in March. What are some ways I can alleviate any potential boredom in my students while touring the city? I would like to have small games or side quests ready if they start to get disinterested during a museum tour. For context, we are going to some very cool places like air and space, natural history, and some less interesting. I have no control over the itinerary. That's from Flummix in Florida.
19:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. What's great about the Washington Monument is that it's really tall. And you can see it from a lot of parts of the city, depending on where you are. So that could be a good, like, there it is again. Look over there, peeking, peeking over that, that building. That's still the Washington Monument. Sometimes they put big, crazy, incredibly unbelievably gaudy laser displays up on it for its 200, for the country's 250th birthday. But there it is, right there, again, still there. I know, we're in Arlington. You can still see that tall motherfucker. He's so big.
19:41 Travis McElroy? Do you think when you're like a high school teacher or a high school chaperone and stuff like that? Do you think you have to actively try to like, observe and figure out like the storylines that are playing out between the students?
19:55 Griffin McElroy? I don't think that's part of it. In fact, I think they would probably prefer you don't do that.
19:59 Travis McElroy? This is what I'm saying. Do you have to actively do it? Or do you think it's unavoidable that you're like, I wish I didn't know?
20:05 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
20:05 Travis McElroy? That these people were like, they both liked them and they actually liked them. Have some understanding of that, though, is it, that's just disinterest.
20:15 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
20:16 Travis McElroy? Right? You, you have to have some understanding of the nuance to be able to lead.
20:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I think.
20:21 Travis McElroy? If you don't understand the politics of the group.
20:24 Griffin McElroy? Do you guys ever volunteer to like chaperone field, field trips? Henry's on a field trip today. And like, they're always kind of looking for chaperones, but I never think I would do a good enough job of it. That I, that I actually do a volunteer.
20:38 Travis McElroy? I think I would do a great job at that. My problem is that there would be other parents there and they had an event or something where they all learned each other's names. Yeah, I didn't go to.
20:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, they went to the pancake, they went to the pancake luncheon. That you got nine fucking emails about. They did meet up at the pancake luncheon.
20:56 Travis McElroy? Hey guys, it's gotten bad, man. My kids have been in school for a little while. These parents know what each other does for work and stuff.
21:04 Travis McElroy? I'm, I'm falling way behind.
21:08 Travis McElroy? Some of my dudes play like golf together or flag football or some shit.
21:14 Griffin McElroy? Sometimes I'll roll up on the playground and I'll see like two different parents from two different families like hug when they see each other.
21:22 Travis McElroy? What?
21:23 Griffin McElroy? What?
21:24 Travis McElroy? What? Casually start a conversation. No choices were made. No effort happens. Dude, crazy. Talking to each other and I'm like, how?
21:33 Griffin McElroy? Give each other, give each other a, hey, from across the playground? Holy shit.
21:38 Travis McElroy? Say each other's name with confidence. Like, Mark.
21:41 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. You got that ice cold.
21:45 Travis McElroy? They'll ask about other friends who aren't there.
21:48 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
21:49 Travis McElroy? You guys have, outside of you two having to talk to each other's parents, know a third party?
21:55 Griffin McElroy? That's wild, man. That's wild.
21:58 Travis McElroy? Do you ever see, do you ever see two people? Oh my God. I saw, I, I was party to this last weekend. Do you ever hear two people that don't know each other and have just met, trying to figure out the connections that they have? Like, did you know this person? Or did you go to this time at this school? Oh my God. Throw me through a plate glass window, mom. I'm out.
22:18 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
22:19 Travis McElroy? No, thank you.
22:21 Griffin McElroy? So, man.
22:24 Griffin McElroy? DC.
22:25 Travis McElroy? DC Griffin, tell them the real DC.
22:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, what do you look for?
22:28 Travis McElroy? Take them behind the curtain.
22:30 Griffin McElroy? If they hadn't said, I have no control over the itinerary, I'd love to provide. Planet Word is my favorite museum.
22:35 Travis McElroy? And first of all, says who?
22:37 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
22:37 Travis McElroy? You got two legs and a voice. You know?
22:40 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that's true.
22:41 Travis McElroy? Who says you got no control over the itinerary? If you're like this way, kids?
22:44 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
22:44 Travis McElroy? I think that.
22:45 Griffin McElroy? If they're all holding on to one of those little like long ropes.
22:48 Travis McElroy? That they make high schoolers do.
22:50 Griffin McElroy? Take them to Planet Word. It's about the history and mechanisms of language. It's great, interactive.
22:55 Travis McElroy? That's a great museum.
22:56 Griffin McElroy? It's my favorite museum in the city. Air and Space rips, they're always updating that shit. You can go and touch, guys, I smelled the moon.
23:02 Travis McElroy? They actually.
23:03 Griffin McElroy? What?
23:03 Travis McElroy? Smelled the moon.
23:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I went to the Air and Space Museum has like a little part thing with, and it's covered by a dome and it's got a little bit of moon rock in there and you can, I mean, I think they want you to touch it, but I put my face way down in there and I smelled it and my kids yelled at me. My kid said, you're not allowed to do that.
23:17 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that, I know, that'll happen.
23:19 Griffin McElroy? I didn't get much, I didn't get much of an aroma.
23:21 Travis McElroy? I am also proud to announce that the Air and Space Museum has finally started stalking my astronaut detective fiction novel, Air and Space. Boy astronaut.
23:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
23:32 Travis McElroy? That is, that is an exciting development for me. Air and Space is.
23:36 Griffin McElroy? How many volumes deep are you is the, is the Air and Space?
23:39 Travis McElroy? I have written six and published a novella of the first half of one. So I'm, it's an outline.
23:46 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
23:46 Travis McElroy? There's more of an outline right now. For Air and Space.
23:50 Griffin McElroy? Pokemon Go.
23:52 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's a good one.
23:52 Griffin McElroy? Not bad. In most cities, in most cities, there's a great poke stop density in DC where there's like monuments and shit on every corner, you're getting pokeballs and potions and revives and raid tickets and shit left and right. It's crazy.
24:06 Travis McElroy? I'm also willing to bet that the like per square mileage hauntings of DC is pretty high.
24:13 Griffin McElroy? Sure, sure.
24:14 Travis McElroy? So you could learn about the haunted history of places and try to catch a ghost.
24:17 Griffin McElroy? We took a ghost tour in DC, Trev.
24:19 Travis McElroy? What?
24:20 Griffin McElroy? We took a ghost tour in DC.
24:22 Travis McElroy? We took a ghost tour. Yeah, but I was checked out for a lot of it.
24:25 Griffin McElroy? No, no. Did we do one in DC?
24:27 Travis McElroy? Yeah. You weren't there because you had to be with your kids or whatever. Oh, dorkus.
24:34 Griffin McElroy? They're scared of ghosts. They're scared of ghosts. Oh, what's the, the, the, the mansion, the manor on O Street? Hmm, that's a good museum.
24:43 Travis McElroy? Oh, that's a.
24:43 Griffin McElroy? Kids maybe aren't going to understand a lot of the stuff going on in there. Maybe they're not like huge fans of, uh, I don't know. One room is old anime stuff and then one room is like, this is the Jimi Hendrix room. Crazy.
24:56 Travis McElroy? Are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you?
24:59 Griffin McElroy? It's awesome. One joke at a time, please. I'm just one man. I can't laugh at two jokes at the same time.
25:06 Travis McElroy? I just had a follow up question. So if Travis has a joke, that would add to the overall joke count for the episode. And I'd love to get our JPM up. Yeah. Are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you? Because I'm sure it's frowned upon, but I doubt there's something in the handbook, uh, that says you can't bring a metal detector with you.
25:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. What are you expecting to find? I guess if you wander the National Mall, there's probably, I mean.
25:28 Travis McElroy? A lot of history.
25:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Some like.
25:30 Travis McElroy? You could.
25:31 Griffin McElroy? Peace sign medallions.
25:33 Travis McElroy? You think you could start talking now about how you've heard many works of art in museums are fakes? And then once you're there, just start haphazardly like, that one.
25:44 Griffin McElroy? That one.
25:45 Travis McElroy? Look right here.
25:46 Griffin McElroy? Mm hmm.
25:47 Travis McElroy? Right here. This is a crayon part. They did this with crayons.
25:50 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, if you, if you look here in the National Portrait Gallery, uh, Mr. Bean did come through and he destroyed the Obama portrait by a series of silly accidents. And he did paint it back up with a poster and some lacquer. You can see the signs of Mr. Bean's work here, here and here.
26:10 Travis McElroy? Point at every piece of art you see and attribute its existence to Dolly Madison saving it. And just see how many of those you can get away with, like, and we wouldn't have that if it weren't for Dolly Madison.
26:22 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:22 Travis McElroy? Thanks, Dolly Madison. You could have a map of the world and have your students mark the different places that the works of art they've seen are from.
26:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:32 Travis McElroy? So they could kind of see all the diverse locations that, hold on one second. Jokes. Get back, massages over.
26:40 Griffin McElroy? Jesus Christ, jokes, you're running up the fucking massage bill. It's supposed to be five minutes, dude. What the fuck?
26:46 Travis McElroy? Dude, put your pants on. Jokes? You could try to plan a hypothetical national treasure everywhere you go.
26:55 Griffin McElroy? Now, I was about to go to National Treasure.
26:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
26:58 Griffin McElroy? And you could, and you could hire someone who kinda looks like Nicolas Cage and have him sort of sneak around the corner at different parts of the city where you're not stopping. So you have that little inner stitch, like everyone keep an eye out for whatever that guy's name is. I think his name is Nicholas Treasure in the movie.
27:14 Travis McElroy? His name, oh no, hold on.
27:16 Griffin McElroy? Do it.
27:16 Travis McElroy? Benjamin, Benjamin Franklin something.
27:21 Travis McElroy? Benjamin Franklin Gallagher? Something like that. You're also gonna need to hire a Sean Bean look-alike to be the evil guy. Benjamin Franklin.
27:31 Griffin McElroy? Gates. Benjamin Gates.
27:34 Travis McElroy? Ben Gates.
27:35 Griffin McElroy? Ben Gates.
27:37 Travis McElroy? Cool name.
27:39 Griffin McElroy? That was like a million great ass suggestion, like these fucking.
27:42 Travis McElroy? That's like, we're helping so many people, it's kinda weird. Yeah, that's not just applicable to this, you can use it in any circumstance.
27:49 Griffin McElroy? Hey, uh, listen, we're on fire. Let's take this energy and direct it towards capitalism, where it belongs.
27:56 Travis McElroy? To the money zone!
28:07 Travis McElroy? Have you been doodling what would Pokemon look like as people for years now? And you've gotten really good at it and you wanna sell your art online? Have I got an idea for you? Squarespace.
28:19 Griffin McElroy? Do you do this?
28:20 Travis McElroy? Do I?
28:21 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
28:22 Travis McElroy? No, I have no artistic ability outside of architectural drawings. I've done what would Pokemon look like as buildings and it doesn't, it just doesn't convey the same kind of power or sexuality.
28:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Some Pokemons is buildings now.
28:37 Travis McElroy? What? Is that true?
28:38 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, they're making Pokemons out of everything. What's that?
28:41 Travis McElroy? People live in inside the Pokemon?
28:43 Griffin McElroy? People don't live in them. They just turn into big buildings. They turn into big buildings.
28:46 Travis McElroy? But they don't live in them. That seems like such a waste.
28:48 Griffin McElroy? Squarespace is the best way to make a website and put it online and have people think you're a professional and then also, you know, have those people pay you for your goods and services that you offer on this incredible looking website. We've been obviously advertising with Squarespace for many years now. It's probably the longest and healthiest relationship any of us have ever had. But Squarespace also is something we've used.
29:15 Travis McElroy? Definitely the most supportive.
29:17 Griffin McElroy? The Squarespace we've used many times to build websites for ourselves, our brands, our jokes. So many places we've had to use Squarespace's services. And I say had to, I mean get to, because it's fun. It's simple drag and drop sort of functionality, beautiful world-class design templates.
29:41 Griffin McElroy? Any kind of tools for payment or like appointment scheduling or whatever you need your site to do. Dang Squarespace is gonna make it look good.
29:48 Travis McElroy? Have you guys ever noticed? Dad has never sponsored an episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me.
29:53 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
29:54 Travis McElroy? Squarespace has many, many, many, many companies.
29:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I have noticed that. Dad, and you know what? Dad takes money from us.
30:01 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
30:02 Griffin McElroy? Squarespace gives us money to talk about their product. And Dad only takes money.
30:08 Travis McElroy? Dad gave us money earlier, like before. Yeah, but that was when I didn't need it. I was a child. I didn't need money when I was a child. What was I buying? They should have held on to that money and gave it to you later when you needed it. They were wasting it on you as a kid.
30:21 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I would have loved the 25 cumulative dollars Clint McElroy ever gave me now.
30:27 Travis McElroy? Drag his ass.
30:29 Griffin McElroy? Wow, Dad. Three bucks.
30:32 Travis McElroy? In this economy?
30:33 Griffin McElroy? Three bucks, huh? Merry Christmas to me. Anyway, head to Squarespace.com/mybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
30:48 Speaker 03 Hello.
30:48 Speaker 04 Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.
30:51 Speaker 03 No, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye.
30:53 Speaker 04 It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.
30:58 Speaker 03 I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?
31:17 Speaker 04 Right, well, if you were looking for a podcast.
31:18 Speaker 03 Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.
31:24 Speaker 04 Simply go to MaximumFun.org.
31:27 Speaker 03 I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!
31:33 Speaker 05 Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast, taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo, to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint: she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited, no matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.
32:23 Travis McElroy? I want a Munch Squad!
32:28 Travis McElroy? I want two Munch Squad!
32:34 Travis McElroy? Welcome to Munch Squad, this podcast with them, podcast profiling the latest and greatest brand eating, Arby's, and racing. Arby's is speed.
32:43 Griffin McElroy? Arby makes me, Arby, when I eat Arby, it makes me go fast.
32:47 Travis McElroy? Arby goes fast?
32:48 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
32:49 Travis McElroy? Arby's kicks off the meat in three box pit stops, too. And this is a quote, "Fuel the masses."
32:56 Griffin McElroy? Cool, dude.
32:57 Travis McElroy? That feels like a lot of words, and by the end of it, I don't know any- More information than I knew at the beginning.
33:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
33:05 Travis McElroy? Since launching the 799 meat and three box, that's what it's called.
33:08 Griffin McElroy? Meat in three.
33:10 Travis McElroy? Meat and three is the three delicious.
33:14 Griffin McElroy? Ah, you can cross this bridge when you eat my meat and three.
33:23 Travis McElroy? There's, uh, they, yeah, they announced it with master realistic. I have to, this is ghoulish. I, you know, I don't want to get down.
33:32 Travis McElroy? I don't want to get all these frigging side tangents every time we do these things, guys, but people are just like out here doing stuff.
33:38 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
33:38 Travis McElroy? These are the, these are the real estate people that announced the meat and three box.
33:42 Griffin McElroy? They're not.
33:42 Travis McElroy? Are we all doing okay?
33:44 Griffin McElroy? Those aren't real people.
33:45 Travis McElroy? I don't know. Yeah, they're real people that it does. Anyway, anywho. So the mean three boxes, three is a meat and three things. And they're trying to find a way, this is again in the press release, Arby's has been hard at work to find a way to bring the meats to more fans. We used to have decorum.
34:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, sure.
34:02 Travis McElroy? You know?
34:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
34:04 Travis McElroy? We're gonna bring you the meats, you dirty dogs. The solution? Eight Arby's sponsored NASCAR O'Reilly Auto Parts Series races. Three race car drivers and multiple meat and three box pit stops along the way.
34:19 Griffin McElroy? It must be so embarrassing for a brand to not be able to sponsor a whole car. Don't you think that must be embarrassing when Arby's is like, check out our Arby's car and, um, fucking Sunoco's on there too. And, uh, Tide, uh, dish, dishwashing pods and, um, Duracell batteries.
34:37 Travis McElroy? But it's mostly us, so you can.
34:38 Griffin McElroy? But it's mostly, yeah, we're on the hood.
34:40 Travis McElroy? Beef racer if you want.
34:41 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Not the beef and battery racer, cause that Duracell calls it the battery racer, but it's really the beef racer.
34:48 Travis McElroy? It's the beef racer. Things are tough right now. Lots of people going vegan. We can't afford a whole NASCAR car. We want to bring you the meats, but we have so many meats.
34:56 Griffin McElroy? You have to make space for them.
34:58 Travis McElroy? Damn vegans keep making us stop. You don't have to eat them, but we just hold them.
35:06 Griffin McElroy? Just buy a couple.
35:07 Travis McElroy? Just smell our meat. You might, then you might like it. What if you're vegan plus Arby's?
35:14 Griffin McElroy? Huh?
35:15 Travis McElroy? You could use it for other stuff. I keep telling. Give it to your dog. Feed it to your turtle. Maybe put it in like a safety deposit box and like leave it for a great grandchild or something. It's like a family beef loom. And the future beef is money.
35:37 Travis McElroy? We've been in the future. Please. We're not going to spoil anything, but you're going to want this meat. Now, this is what I, this is where I want to get to though. This is, and this whole thing, this is like, it's not that surprising that Arby's would do up some like Arby's branded races. Like it's a tour of Arby's branded races powered by horsey sauce. Cool. You think there's a lot of prestige for winning one of these races? Huge, huge. Are you kidding me? I'll tell you what is bad is if he may hurt. That's not how you want. Yeah, how'd he go out? Yeah, he was at the top of his game and then he was doing the beef races and. Jeff Gordon? Yeah, he. Yeah. I don't know why he was still, he's, his license has been revoked.
36:21 Travis McElroy? I don't know how they got him out there. And listen, he was foaming at the mouth, just screaming about horsey sauce and he did die. There's no better way to put it. He beefed it. He did. He beefed it real hard and that's how he'll always be remembered. That's what all the headlines said. They did work in some sort of beef pun, end quotes. His family was.
36:41 Travis McElroy? Well done. Well done. That's because the car was on fire. Yeah, and that's another beef thing. So apologies to the Gordon estate. I guess the thing that is hard for me, um, and I, this is the thing that I want to share with you guys. And it's hard that I missed it, that this event occurred that I'm about to describe to you and that we weren't cordially invited to it. And the fact that it happened, that this was real and it happened. On the eve of NASCAR's biggest race, Arby's showed up with max horsey power in Daytona. Building on the success of last summer's Jamoka Shake Tour, the brand hosted a surprise Jimmy Eat World pop-up concert
37:25 Travis McElroy? inside a local Arby's restaurant at Ridgewood Avenue in Daytona Beach. The free concert transformed Arby's into a rock and roll dance floor. Complete with branded airbrushed hats. Jimmy Eat World Rock and Roll. Dance floor? Sorry, Griffin, you just brushed over airbrushed hat, custom airbrushed hats? Yeah, they had custom airbrushed hats and I actually have, if you guys have a second, I have some like live video. Yeah, Jimmy eat beef? Jimmy eat beef, let me see if I can.
38:22 Travis McElroy? So. Who says that rock is dead? It's so good. First of all, huge jealousy and there is, I, if you think that we are in any way judging or criticizing a Jimmy Eat World for doing this, you do not know our brand. I'm telling you, I'm so furious that this happened and we did not get to participate. I would have done it for half the price. I just, I wanna get. Whatever Jimmy did. Well, I wanna be, work on it with Jimmy Eat World. Yeah, I don't wanna. My brother, my brother and me doing exclusive concert in an Arby's is just a regular Wednesday afternoon in Huntington. I'm like, that's not a big. I'm just saying, we would have opened. There's just. Open for Jimmy Eat World for very reasonable fee.
39:03 Griffin McElroy? Jimmy's up there. I wasn't familiar with that other song, but you know Jimmy's gonna play sweetness or something at some point. And there were a lot of people in that video, Justin, you showed me of that private Arby's Jimmy Eat World concert.
39:16 Travis McElroy? Oh yeah, all those people just happened to be at Arby's.
39:18 Griffin McElroy? They were fucking airbrushing hats and shirts and they were eating the food and they were talking pretty loud with their friends. And meanwhile, great American rock classic group Jimmy Eat World is on stage to an audience of people who really are there for the beef and the hats and the, and the art activity. And the babes, it looks like some of them were.
39:41 Travis McElroy? I would have been there for the music.
39:43 Griffin McElroy? I definitely would have, but that's why I'm saying like, if you're at a Jimmy Eat World concert, even if it's at an Arby's, take a minute to, it's like when you're sitting down at a restaurant and then like a pianist comes up on stage and starts playing for everyone and you gotta give them a little like. You gotta give them a little bit of attention, I think.
39:58 Travis McElroy? Just take some time, little girl, you're in the middle of a concert at Arby's.
40:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
40:06 Travis McElroy? The other version I was gonna do is, you just take some time, little girl, and eat the middle of the sandwich. It's full of.
40:13 Griffin McElroy? Eat the middle of the sandwich. Now, that was an old Arby's campaign where they were like, the middle's where the beef is. Only eat the middles. And it was like, that's wild.
40:22 Travis McElroy? Yeah. And for some reason, it was like, straight through the middle. Don't eat to the middle. Kind of dive at it.
40:27 Griffin McElroy? Bore a hole into the middle.
40:29 Travis McElroy? A sandwich.
40:33 Travis McElroy? That I would like to read some comments from the Instagram post. Take. Takishi Doodles says, the ultimate way to start our 2026 best party I've airbrushed at. Thank you so much for inviting us to paint your merch, Arby's.
40:45 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
40:45 Travis McElroy? Thanks. God bless you.
40:46 Griffin McElroy? God, I wish I lived a life where not only did I go to an airbrushed party, but I had gone to so many airbrushed parties that that was a metric. This is the best one. I just want to be in a place where I can thank Arby's and mean it.
41:00 Travis McElroy? Someone said, that's cool. John Lithgow partying like a rock star. That is not a kind of thing to say. And I wish you hadn't said it. I don't think Mr. Lithgow is in the, the video, and I'm sure he would love to get out there, but I did not.
41:11 Griffin McElroy? Wild. Why did they bring, why did they put their name?
41:13 Travis McElroy? Why is John Lithgow here catching?
41:15 Griffin McElroy? Why is he here?
41:17 Travis McElroy? That, that is the, the party that's, that you've been missing. Uh, just, just so you know. Inspire team members, that's from the, the people at Arby's HQ, took a behind the scenes look at Arby's number one Chevrolet. They took a tour of the JR M race team hauler and even had a chance to score tickets to Saturday's race. And then I want to show you guys a picture and they've got this on, they've got this on the, the thing where you can watch. I don't know. It's one of those carousels. Don't you hate that?
41:46 Griffin McElroy? I fucking hate that shit, man.
41:48 Travis McElroy? Hold on, wait.
41:49 Griffin McElroy? Don't make your images some sort of special CSS element that I can't then share with my brothers easily to make them laugh.
41:57 Travis McElroy? Okay, good. I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna share. I'll just like, put this image. They, they got people in the Arby's chef, chef coats. And the fact that these image, that these things exist is really what I'm jealous of. Can you see these? Look at that. Look at that. I know you're not got, you guys are excited enough. It's a black chef's coat with a huge red Arby's logo on it. I would do anything. Are you kidding me? It's pretty. These people, they're the Arby chefs. They're the ones who are like, eh, maybe two me slice of roast beef on that one. Yeah. You know, like. This cheese sauce is not thick enough.
42:38 Travis McElroy? We could probably layer a different kind of meat that we've never even fucked with in here. If we just try it. Do you guys think you could go and score me some of that thick Burger King mayonnaise that we can then put on the, on the, the new one? Uh, I did want to show you guys a picture of the meat in the three box. Um. I like how in this picture, and I know the people at home can't see it, so let me describe it to you. The roast beef sandwich towers above the other three. Yeah. Um, just really lording it over the peons. It looks like they're worshiping at the feet. Yeah. Sandwich, right? Yeah. While the power behind the throne of the giant Coca-Cola goes, yes, my lord. Yes.
43:18 Griffin McElroy? I've heard of.
43:19 Travis McElroy? My lord.
43:20 Griffin McElroy? I've heard of.
43:20 Travis McElroy? Listen to them. Cry your name, my, my lord, they cry for you. Oh, you, they say, oh, you spill your you on us. Drip, drip upon us, my lord.
43:32 Griffin McElroy? I've heard meat and three used in a sort of southern like barbecue sense, but usually when I hear it that way, they are implying that there will be some sort of vegetable or, uh, or bread sort of involved in there with the three. I don't think it means cur- seasoned up curly fries, full blown mozzarella sticks, and what looks like a fried apple egg roll, perhaps?
43:58 Travis McElroy? Justin, I'm just really glad that you showed us this picture. Because every time you say meat and three, I assume it has something to do with someone's dick and three balls. Yeah. So I'm glad that you. Well, it doesn't. And it doesn't. And I guess Arby's, please. I mean, as always, get at us like, I don't know. You know. Jimmy eats brothers. It's the perfect crossover. Brothers eats beef. Brothers eats beef. Uh, my fiance and I are getting married in a walking labyrinth. We realize people may assume it's movie themed because we've been saying we're having a labyrinth wedding. Yes. Should we explicitly stay on invitations? It has nothing to do with the film or just see what people think a labyrinth wedding is? I haven't even seen the movie.
44:44 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I'm sorry. You are actually having, you're having a labyrinth themed wedding. You need to be okay with the fact that it's, you can't just have it be in a, it's a labyrinth themed wedding. You need some stuff in there from the film. You gotta have the stuff from the film in there, man.
45:01 Travis McElroy? That's like saying, yeah, we're having a wedding in a cube, but it's not a cube shaped.
45:06 Griffin McElroy? It's not based on cube. Yeah. We're doing it at the new Super Nintendo World Amusement Park. It is not a Nintendo based event, this wedding. It's, but do not dress up as Mario. He will be there, but it's not, it has nothing to do with it.
45:22 Travis McElroy? It just worked out that the Fortress of Solitude had the dates available that we're looking for.
45:27 Griffin McElroy? We are not doing Superman shit. No. I don't, I think he's boring. It's a beautiful fortress.
45:36 Travis McElroy? Bit of a trek. It is a destination wedding. We realize that's gonna be a problem for some folks. Yeah, it's in the Arctic. Do you think?
45:44 Griffin McElroy? I don't know what this is. And so that can sometimes not a super funny thing when someone's trying to guess what a real thing is. But I'm guessing that they're on opposite ends of it?
45:55 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
45:56 Griffin McElroy? And they're trying to find each other when they do their marriage? Yeah, and they only have 10 minutes. There's also, you also don't want to run into one of the scarecrows. Cause if they get you, they tear up your marriage license. Right there.
46:11 Travis McElroy? We've hidden it inside the shrine of the silver monkey.
46:14 Griffin McElroy? Well, the shrine of the silver monkey contains the rings, Justin. You can send them your, your maid of honor and your best man. Once, but if they get caught by one of the scarecrows, they're gonna kill them. David Bowie will not be there. Goblin King will not be there. Little nasty worm will not be there. Handhold. No, not any of that shit. No orbs.
46:34 Travis McElroy? Will be there for a price. Why haven't you seen labyrinth? It's great. I, I gave my kids a stink eye when I realized they hadn't seen labyrinth in. They're kids and I'm their dad and I still was like, really? You guys haven't seen Labyrinth? I wish I could watch it again for the first time.
46:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
46:52 Travis McElroy? I just saw someone put out a labyrinth themed set of sneakers and I almost bought it for hundreds of dollars. And I wouldn't even wear the ding dang things.
47:01 Griffin McElroy? How funny would it be if you told everyone it's not the movie, never even seen the movie? And then you get to the vows and then you're like, you remind me of the babe. And then you reveal like, just kidding. And then you both pull out awards.
47:14 Travis McElroy? Oh, my God. If you walk out to Magic Dance, I know you've never heard it and you shouldn't. Cause when you realize the Omega Bop that you have just dropped on your wedding and the first time you're hearing it is when you're married. What? And then double twist, the officiant holds up their hands and they've got eyeballs in the palms of their hands. And they hold it up to their face and it's a Pan's Labyrinth themed wedding.
47:38 Griffin McElroy? Whoa, I love that.
47:39 Travis McElroy? That's cool.
47:40 Griffin McElroy? I don't wanna, I don't wanna be a jerk, but if you've never seen the movie, you're having a maze wedding.
47:44 Travis McElroy? Like you do not like labyrinth. You do not like labyrinth enough to call it a labyrinth wedding. If you haven't even seen the movie about them, you know? You don't like labyrinth. It's a maze wedding.
47:54 Griffin McElroy? It's a maze wedding and that's like some, that's like some Slylock Fox, like Sunday.
48:00 Travis McElroy? It's a lot easier, isn't it?
48:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
48:03 Travis McElroy? I want a wedding that's like on a kids, kids restaurant activity mat. You know what I mean?
48:07 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
48:08 Travis McElroy? Yeah. You're missing so many opportunities to, cause I think they're so, having a labyrinth themed wedding that's actually labyrinth themed. Of like having a ring bearer come in and it's like a little fox puppet on the back of a big shaggy dog.
48:23 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
48:24 Travis McElroy? That can like bring in the ring. Fucking incredible.
48:27 Griffin McElroy? But let someone who loves the movie plan it and do all this and you still don't see the movie. So when you show up, it's like, what is happening?
48:35 Travis McElroy? And then at the reception, you screen the movie and go, oh, okay.
48:40 Griffin McElroy? When the, when the audience stands up and they all talk with their hands in unison, you're gonna flip your shit.
48:45 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
48:46 Griffin McElroy? Also, guys, why is this the second time it's a mini dance?
48:50 Travis McElroy? I don't know. I was talking about Thick Sauce earlier. It feels like we're just doing a sort of sequel to the last episode. I mean, we're the same people, just a week older, I guess.
49:00 Griffin McElroy? Actually, two days older.
49:02 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
49:02 Griffin McElroy? Days older. We recorded last Monday. It is currently Wednesday, about 40 hours as the crow flies.
49:09 Travis McElroy? Okay, explains why my last thought before we started recording was, I can't believe I have to fucking do this.
49:13 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, we just did this.
49:16 Travis McElroy? Talk to, talk to these two.
49:20 Travis McElroy? Oh, man. It's a good flick, though, just.
49:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
49:24 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
49:24 Griffin McElroy? I mean.
49:26 Travis McElroy? Thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you had fun. We hope you enjoyed yourself and you remind me of the babe.
49:35 Griffin McElroy? Mm hmm.
49:36 Travis McElroy? What babe?
49:36 Griffin McElroy? The babe that wrote a choose your own adventure book. His name is Griffin McGray. He's a wee babby. I got it here now. It's called The Stowaway and it costs $10. Have you read it?
49:47 Travis McElroy? Hey, I want to say, Griffin, hey, Griffin, I want to start a countdown clock as a promotional tool.
49:53 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
49:53 Travis McElroy? For your book, okay? Has your son read your book yet?
49:57 Griffin McElroy? He has not. He.
49:59 Travis McElroy? Okay, it's so far one day. How many days have you had it?
50:02 Griffin McElroy? How many days have I had it? About three weeks, my man. He is dedicated.
50:06 Travis McElroy? You're now on day 21 of Griffin's.
50:08 Griffin McElroy? My youngest son read it with me. My nine year old is like.
50:11 Travis McElroy? All right, we're now on day 21 of Griffin's oldest son not reading his book. Griffin, I do want to continue to check in periodically.
50:17 Griffin McElroy? He will get, he will get, eventually he'll begin to take a curiosity to what his father does. bit.ly slash Griffin Stowaway. You can beat my oldest son before at reading the book that I wrote called The Stowaway. And it's a choose your own adventure book. It's an outer space survival tale, perfect for middle grade readers or anyone who wants to hear a great interactive adventure hosted by yours truly. It's called The Stowaway and it's $10. And the first week of book sales are so important. So bit.ly slash Griffin Stowaway. Help me out. It's $10.
50:48 Travis McElroy? Over at macro merch.com, we got a lot of great merch this month, including helping is always a free action t-shirt. They're really cool. I think you're gonna like them and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Border Angels. So go check that out, macro merch.com. We stream over on the macro family YouTube. We got Clubhouse the last Tuesday of each month and on all the other Tuesdays, we're doing Super Macro Brother Gaming Streams at noon Eastern time and we got solo streams throughout the week. I just started a run of Return of the Overden on ADHD Detective. So make sure you check that out every Wednesday. I know.
51:26 Griffin McElroy? I'm playing Majora's Mask randomizer every Friday. It's called Trial by Fury.
51:30 Travis McElroy? God, what a game.
51:31 Griffin McElroy? God, what a game, indeed.
51:32 Travis McElroy? Just also a game.
51:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
51:34 Travis McElroy? Majora's Mask is a game as well.
51:36 Griffin McElroy? Have you settled on what you're doing next, J-Man?
51:39 Travis McElroy? I have been thinking about playing Mist.
51:42 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
51:43 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
51:44 Griffin McElroy? Hell, yeah, man.
51:46 Travis McElroy? I don't think kids today have seen Mist.
51:48 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
51:49 Travis McElroy? You know what I mean?
51:49 Griffin McElroy? No, it's fucking, it's a wild one. Do like the old DVD version of Mist. Do like one of those old wild ones.
51:58 Travis McElroy? Old busted down thing.
51:59 Griffin McElroy? Thanks to Montane, thanks for the song, My Life Is Better With You. Did I mention that my book's out tomorrow, March 10th? I don't think I said that part.
52:08 Travis McElroy? Tomorrow is the crow flies.
52:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, so go check that out and I'm gonna, I guess.
52:13 Travis McElroy? Throw the book, throw the book, throw the book.
52:15 Griffin McElroy? I'm not gonna throw it super, I mean, I do have a lot of copies of it.
52:18 Travis McElroy? Yeah, throw the book.
52:19 Griffin McElroy? Aw, man.
52:20 Travis McElroy? Throw the book. So.
52:23 Travis McElroy? Can't believe he's gonna throw the book.
52:25 Griffin McElroy? Fahrenheit 451 is the temperature.
52:27 Travis McElroy? So a little respect for the art. Griffin's throwing his own work. Three, two, one. That's what Griffin's, that's what Griffin's son does every time he hands him the book.
52:37 Griffin McElroy? It was perfect though, like it kinda landed.
52:40 Travis McElroy? If we could get a sick screenshot, it would look like the book was just kind of glued to the-
52:44 Griffin McElroy? I broke my goddamn Deku Tree! Go to the doctor! I broke my goddamn Deku Tree! What a good book! It's so solid it can break a goddamn Deku Tree Lego set.
52:55 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy.
52:56 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy. Damn this book!
52:59 Travis McElroy? Brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad square on the lips.
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