Bonus Episode: Breaking Dawn (Part 2)

This Bonus Episode is brought to YOU by our friends at State Farm! Weirdos!! Get ready to return to Forks for the epic conclusion of our MORBID recap of the Twilight franchise! Today we're diving into Breaking Dawn (Part 2) and part 3 of the book, and what a gift it is! Bella is the BEST at everything, even though her selfishness gets the Cullens in hot water AGAIN! Jacob is the new creep on the block with his imprinting escapades. And the Volturi are walking... I guess? Prepare yourself for Alaina's masterful impression of Bella's singsong voice, worry with Ash about dear Charlie's heart health, and join us as we attempt to untangle the host of inconsistencies that had us angry, confused or howling with laughter! Grab the nearest tissue box and prepare to cry-laugh with us!

• 0:09Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Every good detective needs a partner to support them on important cases. Think of a State Farm agent like your sidekick, there to help you along the way in your search for coverage. State Farm can help you choose the coverage you need, whether it's for your home, car, boat, or even RV. With so many options, it's nice knowing you have help finding what fits for you so you can get back to solving all of life's bigger cases. Go to statefarm.com or use the award-winning app to connect with a local agent and get a quote. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  Hey weirdos, I'm Ash. And I'm Elena. Hi Elena. Hi. And this is Morbid.

• 1:10Speaker 00

  Hi Elena. Hi Elena. Welcome to the show. Thanks. Guys. Happy to be here. I'm so glad to have you.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  I don't know what's going on. It's, it's almost pub week. It's true. Elena's been a little rabid animal over there. And life's been busy. And we're just, we're crazy. We're crazy. And I feel like this is gonna be a funny episode because of that. I hope so. Yeah, I hope so too. Our homies at State Farm are sponsoring this episode. Hell yes, State Farm. Proud out to them. And without further ado, let's talk about the final installment. I couldn't think of that word. I was like, I don't know where we're going here. I almost called it penultimate, but that's not final. Yeah. The final installment in the Twilight saga. It's true. So we're talking about Breaking Dawn, part two, the movie. Part two. And Breaking Dawn, part three. The book. The book.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  It's crazy that they made the movie based off of only part three. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think this one's probably gonna be a lot shorter than the other ones, just because a lot of the bulk happens in the first half, like the setup at least. Here's the thing, nothing happens the entire time. And then something happens, but it actually didn't happen. Yeah. Nothing pisses me off more than, oh my God, did that just happen? No. No. No. A dream sequence. No, you silly girl. I hate it. I hate it so much. It was a big shocker. I remember it, yeah. Because so obviously we always do this out of order. It's not one of those like narrative go through beat by beat. No.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  But there's like a giant battle scene that they're all gearing up for in this one. It's like what the whole thing is leading up to. Yeah, the Volturi's coming. One of my favorite things in the movie is when Alice is like, the Volturi, they're coming. Arrow, Marcus, Caius, Jane, and Arena. And it's like, and it's like. I literally go. The Volturi? And Arena. Like that's what you just said. Naming everybody. Just let me name the entire Volturi. She's like, yes. In case anybody here forgot. Yeah. These are all of their names. And she doesn't really like, I guess she kind of does do that in the book too. She names them all, but so we're gearing up for that. They're coming because Arena is a real bitter Betty. Arena's a rat. She's a real rat.

• 3:29Speaker 00

  She's a rat ass bitch. Snitches, Arena. The snitches get their heads chopped off and their bodies lit on fire, babe. Yeah, it didn't work out for you. No. So. No. I didn't, I don't like Arena's vibe at all.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  Even, even in the first one, when she shows up at the, at the wedding and is like a snarky little bitch, I was like, yeah, I don't like that. She has like a, like a condescending, holier than thou vibe. Yeah. And it's like, girl, you gotta move on. You just. You gotta move on. Live your life, baby. And so I don't like her anyways. So this whole thing being her fault, I was like, you get the day you deserve. Yeah. It also doesn't really make sense that she would be the one to go rat on the Cullens to the Volturi because her mom died because of an immortal child. Exactly. So I'm like, so I understand that you grieve that loss forever. I totally get that. Yeah. But you want that to happen to another family? Like what? Like what? And it's like, and you watched the immortal child be thrown in a fire? You want to take part in that again?

• 4:25Speaker 00

  Like what was the reasoning for this? I'm not. And at least in the movie, I forget in the book how it like all goes down, but she was on her way to have a discussion with them. Yeah. To, to kind of be like, sorry for being a bitch, but then she just cannot stop herself from being a bitch. And then she's like, yeah, you know, it just gotta be a bitter bitch. Yeah. I am not Team Arena. No, who is? Never have been, never will be. I'm just not.

• 4:48Speaker 00

  There's so, there, there's so little, but so much. Do you want to start like book stuff mostly? And then we can get into the ridiculous movie part? So, so part three is in Bella's point of view in the book. Like in the book, yeah, I was gonna say. We end part two in Jacob's point of view with him falling to his knees when he sees an infant in a blanket. Yeah. Fresh out, fresh out de womb. Fresh out. Says Renesmee. Fresh out the Bella. Where the hell you been lover? Yeah. He just falls to his knees. I hate it. And he reminds us about a hundred times that it is not romantic. And then he completely just condescends of like, or contradicts himself later, which we'll get to. So already gross. Ew.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  No. And then when you go to Bella's point of view, this is where I think that maybe Stephanie Meyer, I don't, I don't know if she just like took, like, I don't know what, what was going on with the editing process. What her plan was. Cause I do know. Well, here's the thing. So, so part three is from Bella's point of view, and it's just the same scene of Renesmee being born again from her point of view. Right. Which that can work. Yeah. Like I've, I've done that in a book where it's like one scene from one person's point of view, one scene from another. But I think it only works if you're gonna introduce something completely new into the other point of view. Yeah.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  And also that you're not just reiterating exactly what happened the last time you did this point of view or this scene. Cause we already know. And that can be tough. So I, I'm free to admit, I had a couple more of those scenes and my editor, bless her, said. Chop chop bitch. Said babe, we gotta cut these because they're just the same thing over again, just a little bit different and absolutely correct. Yeah. And I'm just wondering with this one, cause as I started reading the Bella point of view, I was like, I'm bored. Said you got anything new for me, dog? Cause I watched it from everyone else's point of view. And yeah, it's agonizing. It's awful. She's dying. The thing is ripping her apart and Edward's gonna bite the fucking placenta open and blood's gonna go everywhere and she's gonna bleed out and then she's gonna see the baby

• 7:01Speaker 00

  and say it's beautiful. It's got teeth. It's all the same thing. Yeah. But in this point. Don't you dare breeze past that. That's where she, she did bring something new into this point of view. That's where I said, and are you? She brought teeth. Because she literally says in this point, I was like, what is this? Who came up with this? Stephanie did. That's who. So she says, so of course Renesmee did not cry. Elena's, Elena's peeling her post. Yeah, peeling my post it's off. But yeah, she's got like, you know, she's just perfect. She's a perfect little baby. She opens her eyes, she looks right at her, she's very focused. I beg to differ based on. Very alert. It says, and also she says she's even more beautiful than her father. And I said. Damn. Well shit. Well, we'll get there. Don't worry.

• 7:46Speaker 00

  Maybe she read Midnight Sun. Yeah, Edward might think something is more beautiful than her mother too. So she says, the impossible face suddenly smiled. Jeez. A wide deliberate smile, as newborns often do. Never just guess. Behind the shell pink, they literally don't even, newborns? No, you're not getting one. Behind the shell pink lips with a full, was a full compliment of snowy milk teeth. Hate it. I have a couple of things about that. It's my biggest fear to meet a newborn with teeth. So this baby doesn't even just have a couple of teeth in her mouth. She's got a full set of teeth that she just. Chicklets. And snowy milk teeth? Give me snowy or give me milk.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  You do not need to give me both. Cause those both describe them the exact same way, which is white. Yeah. Why did I have both of these snowy milk teeth? Imagine if they were like jagged and yellow. Snow, yeah, just like what? She's like, I don't know if she had dinosaur teeth. She's like corn teeth. It was crazy. Yeah, she was nuts, but she was beautiful. She was nuts, but she, I mean, only a mother could say. She also, well, she, and she refers to her in the book as her little nudger. Which I did, I was like, what's that mean? In her belly. And I hate it. Yeah. I hate it. Cause in case you're confused like I was, it's like so simple. It's the most simplistic version of what you think that is, is the baby nudges her a lot from the inside. So she's like, mom nudger.

• 9:16Speaker 00

  I was like, whoa, you couldn't come up with anything else? Remember like we used to call one of yours like a squirmy wormy? Yeah. Or like my little baby lady, once I found out what she was. Yeah. Yeah. I did, I don't know. I'm not saying mine's better than anything else, but a little nudger. It almost feels like an annoyance. Well, that's the thing. It gives off like you're annoying the shit out of me. And you're, it almost sounds like nudge. Yeah, a little nudger. I don't, I don't love it. I don't love it either. I don't love it. And it's very, I felt like this part of, of Breaking Dawn, like this part of any of the books was really tough to get through. Yeah. Cause it's just the same shit. It's not, and this is just me, just my opinion. That's my opinion. I enjoyed reading the other ones more.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  This one's just not, it's a lot of setup, a lot of introducing people, a lot of the same old shit happening. You're not alone. A lot of people were not into this book. Yeah. And they were so, so, so excited about it, but they're, they held like parties where they burned the book because they were so pissed off about it. Which that's wild. That's like the farthest step to take, I would say. And it also does absolutely nothing. Yep. Because. Burning, burning books is cuckoo. Like if you already have the product, why you burn? Here's the, if I don't like it, give it to like savers. Yeah. You know, somebody else might like it. Littlest library for someone else to find. Not for me, maybe for you. Yeah, somebody else will like it. But I think. There's a whole contingent of people who love it and that's, they're right. That's the thing. Yeah. Stephanie herself said that.

• 10:41Speaker 00

  She was like, yeah, I wasn't prepared for like the amount of controversy that this brought, but like. Yeah. With anything, especially when you have like a big audience, there's gonna be people that love it or people that hate it. Exactly. Well, and I think the problem with this one was, and it is a real problem. And I think even the people who like it can at least see this problem with it. The character, like arcs, the character growth, anything that happened. I don't know where any of it went. It all kind of took like a left turn. That's one of the biggest complaints. And then Bella, or I mean, it's Bella and it's really like the plot in general. All of these, these stories, like the, all the, the books, all the movies, everything has been leading up to how life-changing this transformation is going to be.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  And not just like, whoa, you're going to be so fast and so hot. It's gonna be awesome. Right. Like, it's literally like, you're gonna lose everything. You're sacrificing everything. It's gonna be hard. You're gonna have to learn all this self-control. And for possibly months on end, you're gonna be a homicidal, uncontrollable maniac newborn that we're gonna have to like cage at night and like make sure you're not alone. Literally. He must have killed Bella on multiple occasions. Vampire for a long time. Yeah. So it's like, we were like, that has been drilled into Edward made it such a thing that there's no way he could possibly do this to someone else. Carlisle even made it a thing. Carlisle made it a thing that this was just, this was not something you want. Rosalie made it such a thing. But she gives up. And that's the other thing.

• 12:11Speaker 00

  Rosalie, Rosalie. It's a completely different character. Had to give up becoming a biological mother, which is what she wanted to do. Yup. And they make it like this, that is her thing. That's her defining characteristic once she tells you that backstory. And then it's like, but Bella doesn't. No, Bella gets everything. Bella gets everything she fucking wants with zero consequence. Baby girl. Baby girl to the extreme. Baby girl gets a fucking fully furnished cottage. Yeah. And a Ferrari. Yeah. A Ferrari. But better than that, she maintains her human emotions. Yup.

• 12:54Speaker 00

  She maintains her human desire for Edward, which she was told she would not have. She doesn't want to eat her dad. She doesn't want to eat her dad. She's able to, she, every newborn is said that they can't even be within like a hundred miles of a fucking pumping vein, or they're gonna lose their mind. Bella goes into a dining room full of people to meet like some lawyer dude and is just chilling. Yeah. Or like five seconds after she turns, she's turned into a vampire. She comes across a guy scaling the side of a mountain. She goes to eat him and Edward's like, don't do that. And she's like, oh, okay. You're right. And she stops. And he's like, wow, no newborn has ever been able to stop mid-hunt. Bella's not like other girls. It's so baby girl. It's so pick me shit. Bella is not like other girls.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  Girls and she's not like other vampires, guys. Different. And it's like, she wakes up in full fucking, she wakes up with stilettos. Bitch, I wish. Babe. She wakes up in a new dress. You know, Alice changed her for sure. Which is so weird. It is. Like, so she's unconscious. I'm like, did that just like come from the ether? That's it. Like she's burning from within. Like trapped in her own body, screaming in pain, being filled with venom, paralyzed. And Alice is like, we put it in this beautiful little skirt. It's got a slit up to here.

• 14:14Speaker 00

  It's like, she's just like sliding on some stilettos and doing your makeup. That's why Bella wakes up with a smokey eye. Imagine having an eternal smokey eye. Yeah, an eternal smokey, eternal perfect makeup. So here's the thing. And eternal extensions. Yes. For a while, I would love not having a morning routine. Like when I get my eyebrows dyed and I have lashes on, I'm like, oh bitch, I don't have to do it much. Oh, yeah. And eventually I would miss it. Cause I like my morning routine. Sometimes it's nice to, to get. I like my little zen time where I do my makeup and I sit in front of my mer. Yeah, my mer. But imagine like you just. Yeah. And like you have all of eternity to do anything you want to fucking do. So what are you supposed to? I mean, I guess you still can, but what's the point? You're already hot. That's the thing. You don't need to. Yeah.

• 14:58Speaker 00

  And it's like she, she doesn't have to work at anything. No. She learns how to control her, her powers, like her shield, right away. Which it takes other people like years. Other people don't even know they, how to do anything with it. Like she learns how to control her thirst. She learns how to, like she's the strongest, she's the fastest. She's the most gorge, like. She gets to be a mom. She gets to be a mom, which that's the part that like really pisses me off is they put Rosalie in that like frigid, like woman who can't have kids. Yeah. I'm pissed off and bitter. The Juno effect, the Jennifer Garner and Juno effect. Where she's gotta be like a type A bitch who like is just mean to everybody. And her husband hates her. Tries to control everyone. Her husband hates her. Yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  They put Rosalie similarly in that, obviously like not with Emmett, but, and it's like, and then they just are like, but not Bella. Bella gets to have everything. She gets to be a mommy. And then they have Rosalie be almost this like envious, like strange, I want this to be mine. Yeah. So I'm just kind of like vicariously living through you kind of thing, which like is off-putting. Which also like Bella seems to be fucking fine with it, at least in the movie, because that bitch just goes off to fuck. She's totally fine. She's never with Renesmee. She had this child. And then like, yeah, she was busy for a minute getting turned into a vampire. For sure, for sure. I'll give her that, you know? Yeah. That happens. I've, it's never happened to me, so I can't judge.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  Hasn't happened to me, but you know, like, it's a thing. So that, but she wakes up and she says, where's Renesmee? And Edward's like, you might eat her. So like, we should go eat. I said, oh my God, look at your motherly instincts. Yeah. The only time we'll ever see him. The only time, because immediately upon meeting her, she's like, oh my God, she's so beautiful. And look, she just showed me her favorite memory of me and this is so cute. And she just like tosses her. You want to leave? Like she's just, she leave, here you go, Rosalie. Yeah. Take this baby. First I'm gonna fight Jacob, then I'm gonna go fuck my husband. And I'd much rather go fuck my new husband. I'm like. In our cottage, that our child, and there's the other thing. Alice. Yeah. I don't like it. Here's the thing. Outside of the cottage, gorgeous. Gorgeous.

• 17:08Speaker 00

  You walk in that cottage, to me, I would be furious at what that looks like on the inside. There's a lot to talk about, but one thing that I particularly have to talk about from the movie, what was the lighting budget? The sc- how many fucking sconces? Why were there sconces absolutely everywhere? And then, uh, fucking what's her face, Renesmee's nursery is just full to the brim with everything that you could possibly buy at Pottery Barn. It's just so overstimulating. They registered for everything and everyone bought it and they shoved it all in that room. And so she doesn't get to decorate her child's nursery? She doesn't get to purchase her own home. Yeah. Pick where it is, pick what it looks like, anything. She doesn't get to decorate the inside. She doesn't get to choose the 99 sconces that are inside.

• 17:51Speaker 00

  And she also doesn't even get to pick her own fucking closet. Sick closet that Alice had built. And like cool to have some clothes in your new closet. Like totally appreciate. But like full to the, full to the brim with stuff that Bella wouldn't really wear. Well, and also. At least the old Bella. It is just, in my opinion, the decor in that house, they opened that door and I said. Hideous. No, you didn't. I'm not a. That's diabolically awful. I'm not a minimalist by any means, but the way that everything was just like, to use your mother-in-law's word, chocker blocked in there. Yeah. It was all just like, and it's like. It, it looked like a, like I, I just couldn't. It, the yellow walls.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  The fucking art that was just like art you would find in like a hotel. Yeah. No offense to hotel art, but like, no personnel, and I was also just like, oh God, I'd be so upset. It wasn't Bella's vibes in any way. What is Bella's vibes? Flannel. Like, we don't even know what Bella's vibes are. She never picks her own shit. Yeah, I know. Cause even Charlie like painted her room purple. People are decorating for her. We went the entire series, never having any idea what her actual aesthetic is. Yeah. I do not know what her aesthetic is. Besides that mini cactus she brought from fucking Arizona. And I think Renee just like shoved that out of her face. I think she was like, here's a mini cactus. Even her own car, like again, sick to get a car. Yeah.

• 19:18Speaker 00

  But like, she never got to pick, like, we don't even know what she would have picked for that. No. And, and again, like she got the truck. Yup. Then she got, I think at some point she gets like a Mercedes from. Yeah. Uh, Edward in the books. And then in this part, I'm pretty sure she gets the Ferrari. Yeah. And it's like, what a, what a fucking. Yeah, seriously. What a. I mean, like poor her. What a journey. Yeah. Like she is baby girl from the jump. She really is. And I, it's just, it's horrifying. Okay, what else? What's your next book point? Um, let's see, what's my next book point? What's your next post-it say there? I have one that says gross.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Let's see what that's about.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  Let's see what that's about. Oh, yes. Um, when, so when Jacob in, in Bella's point of view is explaining to her that like, oh, hey, yeah, sorry, I imprinted on your newborn.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  But it's not romantic.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  And it's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. Later, I am gonna ask Edward if I should start calling him dad. But it's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. What the fuck is wrong with you?

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Lots.

• 20:20Speaker 00

  What is wrong with you?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Lots.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  And in this one, it's when he's first saying it. And of course, in the book, I gotta give it to Kristen Stewart because in the book, it says through my teeth. When she said, when she's like, try, starting now.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  She did take that line to a T.

• 20:37Speaker 00

  But man, it's something.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  Her, she has like lockjaw.

• 20:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, she does. But he says, so she says, you need to stay away from her. And he says, it's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted to be around me three days ago? This is diabolical to me. When he's like, it wasn't you, it was her wanting to be around me. And I was like, I would murder him where he stood. Best friend or not, murder him where he stood.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Also, I thought, and I, maybe I'm wrong, but I thought that it was like the imprinting thing was much more on the wolf side of things, not the person that they imprint on.

• 21:09Speaker 00

  That's what they, they let us to believe.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Correct?

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  So like, I don't think that had anything to do with anything.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  Non-consensually fucking tied to life for this, to this random wolf that's decided that they are now part of their life.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Well, and if you ask, if you ask the lore master herself, it's not non-consensual. It's just, why wouldn't she want that?

• 21:29Speaker 00

  Why wouldn't you?

• 21:30Speaker 01

  But still, but like that, that piece threat right there doesn't make sense. Like, oh, you couldn't be away from me. It's like, no, she didn't have any like desire for you.

• 21:38Speaker 00

  She's also a fetus at that point. So, yeah, no, she wasn't, she wasn't, uh, wanting to be with you then. And he even says, he, so she's like, what the fuck are you implying? And he says, that was her. From the very beginning, we had to be together, even then.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  God, I would literally, what did I write? I think I wrote something about this because when she, uh,

• 22:01Speaker 00

  Literally just wrote gross.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  When she confronts him in the thing.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  Hold on, let me find it.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  The way he just says, it's not romantic and it's not like that a hundred times during the movie too, and the book, it's like, methinks thou dost protest too much. And then you really tell on yourself later.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  Not me desperately looking for this note. All it says is beat his ass, mama.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  Beat his ass, mama. And honestly, beat his ass, mama. When she beats the shit out of him out there, I was like, let's go, yeah, party.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  Because even in this too, when they go to visit Charlie and Sue for Christmas.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Are you talking about the book or the movie?

• 22:35Speaker 00

  Both.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  He gives her a promise bracelet.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  That's what that is.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  Yep. In the book, she says, on her wrist was an intricately braided quill yute version of a promise ring.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  That's word for word what she says in the book.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  And in the book, she's like two.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  She's technically, I think, been around for four months. So she's about four months old.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  But that's the thing. And that's like, in the book, she only gets to about two years old. And the, in the movie, they make her age like so much more rapidly. So he gave an infant a promise ring?

• 23:12Speaker 00

  He gave a child.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  I'd slaughter his ass.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  A literal promi- and then, so she's like, yeah, like Edward had to like grit his teeth on that one. Oh, he did?

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Grit your teeth?

• 23:23Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, the father of the infant that Jacob, the adult, has now promised marriage to gritted his teeth through that one?

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Even when he says, like, and it's at the end of the movie, but he says, like, should I start calling you dad? I said, jump into the nearest bog and allow it to consume you, Jacob.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  Literally.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Allow it to consume you.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  Allow nature to reclaim you because, and also Edward should have beat his, I would have watched in glee. If Edward, Robert Pattinson, had beat the shit out of Jacob.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  At least something would have happened.

• 23:56Speaker 00

  Something should have happened there.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Cause also it's, the other thing is, so like, obviously we said in the book, she gets to be about two, like I just said that. And then in the movie, like, once you ultimately find out what happens with like vampire, human hybrids, it's like, by the time she's seven, she'll be full grown. So she'll look like an adult, but she'll be seven. And I'm like, Jacob, what's your plan there?

• 24:17Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, it's not romantic.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  She's gonna look like an adult. Are you gonna date the seven year old? Or are you gonna wait a few, like, you know, seven more years?

• 24:24Speaker 00

  It's not romantic.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  More than seven. That was bad quick math.

• 24:28Speaker 00

  I mean, ask his friend there about fucking Claire, the two year old.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  That scene lives on in my brain.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  A human, so is going to age much slower and he's just gonna wait around?

• 24:40Speaker 01

  So weird. That's the other thing.

• 24:42Speaker 00

  It's gross.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Wait, did we talk about this last time? Do the werewolves like stop aging? They stop aging at a certain point.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, they age like really slowly.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Like a 54 year old man while Claire's like.

• 24:53Speaker 00

  He's gonna be around for like 54, like, he's gonna be around for a long time, waiting for her.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  He'll be that long.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  Watching her turn three and four and five and shit her pants and like, go through all her milestones and go to kindergarten. And then eventually be like, now we can date. That's fucked up, Stephanie. I'm sorry.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  It's like against her lore too, still. And that's the other thing. It's like, the only thing that, that Bella says to Jacob is just like, oh my God, everybody's right. You smell like shit. That's crazy. So they're just gonna be together and half of her is gonna think he smells like shit all the time?

• 25:26Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  And she, and like her ancestors hate him? Make that make sense. I would never be with a man if I was like, damn, half the time I think you smell like absolute ass.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  I can't. I literally cannot, like, cannot with that, the imprinting shit.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  It's fucked.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Goes beyond anything I can ever conceive of. I really can't.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:51Speaker 00

  And there's a point too, where in the book, when they're meeting, when Charlie's coming over, Edward tells Renesmee, like, somebody's coming over and we want you to meet them and you can't bite him because he doesn't heal like Jacob does.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:06Speaker 00

  Implying that she bites Jacob a lot. And then she goes, can I still bite Jacob? And she's like, and he's like, yeah, you can still bite Jacob. And I'm like, so Jacob's just letting her gnaw on him? Like, what's this about?

• 26:19Speaker 01

  I don't like it.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  Why are we doing this? Because like a normal, a normal infant, you don't let them gnaw on you. That's not.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  So why are we letting her gnaw on the guy who has imprinted on her?

• 26:31Speaker 01

  I mean, Edward is probably hoping that she hits an artery.

• 26:33Speaker 00

  You know, truly.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  You know?

• 26:35Speaker 00

  But I'm like, that's weird. I don't like that.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  I don't wanna think too deeply about that personally.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  I don't like that at all.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Steph, you're weird for that.

• 26:43Speaker 00

  I'm sorry.

• 26:45Speaker 00

  Weird as hell.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Fucking weird for that. Can we get to the Charlie of it all, since you were just kind of talking about that?

• 26:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, because you know what?

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, tell me.

• 26:55Speaker 00

  I'm sorry.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  What?

• 26:56Speaker 00

  But she's like, she's like, dad, here I am. Uh, no, I didn't die. I'm, I'm probably gonna be, I know I look 25 now. Um, I'm gonna stay this way forever. Here's my seven year old child that, um,

• 27:13Speaker 01

  Is my niece.

• 27:14Speaker 00

  I, I've had in the span of about two months. Um, and you can't ask me anything about any of this.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Okay? And he's just like, what the fuck? And at first he's like, what? And then he's like, okay, I'm just gonna go with this. No.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  No. No siree bub. If my kid tells me, if my kid says you cannot ask me questions, I'm gonna say, I have a question. Like, here's my first question.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  I have a list.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  No, you're not telling me that. You're not telling me I can't ask questions, especially when you are literally sitting here looking at me with a whole 25 ass fa- year old face.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  Telling me you're immortal and here's your seven year old child. You're not gonna say, and don't ask questions. Go fuck yourself.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  That's real fucked up.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  Like, go fuck yourself.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  And also like the baby is supposed to be adopted, but looks just like Bella because they CGI'd Bella's face on that baby.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  Oh, my God, her eyes.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Can we talk about the CGI baby? How can we get through this episode and not?

• 28:07Speaker 00

  The CGI baby.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Is what nightmares are made of.

• 28:11Speaker 00

  And the behind, when you look at that fucking crazy ass baby.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 00

  That they used, like, that crazy ass, like, in between the baby and the, the older kid.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 00

  That is a cursed object. Like, that's why anyone thought that was, that had to pass by so many people.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  You know, they had fun with that. You know, they were like, Steph, do you love it? And Steph was like, yah, yah.

• 28:39Speaker 00

  No way did anyone who had anything to do with this movie go, this is gonna be fine. Like, or this is not gonna be talked about.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  She's like hazy. She's like hazy around the edges.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  She's uncanny valley.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  She's absolutely uncanny valley.

• 28:53Speaker 00

  At times, she looks like a killer clown from outer space.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Her head is a little too.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Like, her mouth took a minute to hit.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  She does. Like, she literally looks like one of them.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  Are you about to pull up a killer clown from outer space?

• 29:12Speaker 01

  I just forgot everything I was gonna say.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  Like, she really does at times look like one.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Well, I was gonna say, also, her head is like too small. And also, she's like,

• 29:23Speaker 00

  And her mouth is so wide.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  And babies are small, like, yeah, like some of them, but.

• 29:28Speaker 00

  Babies be small.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  This one is like so small and hazy and killer clown from outer space.

• 29:34Speaker 00

  She's so small and hazy.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  Eden's holding up a killer clown from outer space.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Like, tell me that's not Renesmee.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  It's actually like cuter than Renesmee, to be honest.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  It's the big mouth, like, wah.

• 29:51Speaker 00

  That's her.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  Those milky, snowy, snowy, snowy milk teeth.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Why does that feel like it would smell bad?

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Snowy milk teeth.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  It's like, bleh.

• 30:03Speaker 01

  Disgusting.

• 30:04Speaker 00

  I hate it.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  My next note just says, well, let's see if Bella eats her dad.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  We're just like, we'll just put, Charlie was used as full on bait at that point.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  Also, like 10 minutes before, like 20 minutes before he meets Bella, Jacob in the movie just drives over to his house.

• 30:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Starts stripping and he's like, Jacob, please put your clothes on.

• 30:27Speaker 00

  What he's like, holy shit.

• 30:29Speaker 01

  And then he, Jacob, like you said, we were watching and it was like, he could have just said like, hey, I'm about to change into a wolf.

• 30:35Speaker 00

  Literally.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Charlie wouldn't like bullshit and then he would have changed into a wolf.

• 30:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  You gotta give him a little warning. He doesn't give him any warning and then just phases. I'm like, Charlie's an old man who regularly drinks beer. He's gonna have a heart. He's also the fucking sheriff in Forks, uh, wherever. I'm just in Nebraska.

• 30:52Speaker 00

  Forks, Nebraska.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  I'm like, god damn, you're gonna kill this man.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, we need him in Nebraska. We can't, we can't lose the sheriff.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  God damn.

• 31:02Speaker 00

  Of Nebraska.

• 31:04Speaker 01

  I'm like, first you do that. Then he shows up and sees his daughter who's like, never really looked that good before. And he's like, why are you looking?

• 31:12Speaker 00

  Just fast, Edward.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Why are you looking so great, girlie? Like, wow, Swedish resort did you some good?

• 31:18Speaker 00

  Near death really did you well?

• 31:20Speaker 01

  Fuck, that's crazy. You came back.

• 31:22Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  Better than ever. And then he sees this fucking killer clown from Outer Space Baby and is like, is your niece baby? Why's it got your eyes?

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Why's it got your eyes?

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Why's your? Poor fucking Charlie.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  And it's also, it's just insane that she doesn't even, cause in the movie, I don't know what happens in the book, I forget. But like, they hugged for 42 minutes on screen and she's not even like, oh.

• 31:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's not even like, I wanna eat him.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  It's not even like she hears his heart beating or anything.

• 31:49Speaker 00

  It's because she's not like other girls. She's not like other vampires.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  She's really not.

• 31:55Speaker 00

  She's better than all of us and everyone.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:07Speaker 02

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• 32:45Speaker 00

  In the book too, like especially in the book, but they do in the movie too, when she first turns into a vampire, she like, they keep talking about how like she has to, like she's not, she, she doesn't breathe, you know, like when you're a vampire, you don't breathe. But she keeps talking about how she still is breathing in times when she would breathe, but like you wouldn't.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  Cause it's an involuntary reflex.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  That's the thing. It's an involuntary thing. You're not like, I'm not actively trying to breathe right now.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  Sometimes if I think too much about the fact that I have to breathe though, then I have to breathe a lot.

• 33:16Speaker 00

  But she'll be like, I was so, I was nervous, so I, I took an, like a breath inside, like a deep breath in, even though I didn't need to.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:24Speaker 00

  And I'm like, you wouldn't. No. Cause you would just like float on. We'd all float on, you know, modest amounts.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  And we'll all float on all right.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  Like you wouldn't just do that.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  And she also describes, um, in the book, which they don't really, they don't do this in the, in the movie, but they talk about how she said her voice is like, it sings. She had a sing song voice. So she was like, I couldn't answer the phone and talk to Charlie cause he wouldn't, he wouldn't recognize my voice. And all I could think of, the way they did, that Stephanie describes it as like a sing song voice, a singing voice, was her being like, hello father.

• 34:02Speaker 00

  Like, is that what we mean? What do we mean by a singing voice?

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Hello father.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  Like, I don't understand.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Good morrow, Charlie.

• 34:17Speaker 00

  I have survived.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  It's neither, I'm back from my slush.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  You'll never believe how I look.

• 34:30Speaker 00

  She also, during that same kinda shit, she, something that's so annoying in the book is they have to make sure you know that she knows exactly how many seconds it takes everything, everybody to do everything. And I was like, what? Cause she'll be like, and it took me five eighths of a second to, to turn my head and go into the corner. And it took him 15 seconds to walk from here to there.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Yup.

• 34:56Speaker 00

  And it's like, why did she suddenly develop the skills of a casino card counter?

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Like, why is she, why is she like running the blackjack tables all of a sudden? Why is she banned from Foxwoods?

• 35:16Speaker 01

  Since when?

• 35:18Speaker 00

  You're gonna kill me.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  I think I might have just been.

• 35:31Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  I just didn't know that was a trait that happens.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  No one talks about it.

• 35:45Speaker 00

  Why is she banned from Foxwoods?

• 35:52Speaker 01

  I have to stop. I'm gonna pee my pants.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  I'm literally crying at you laughing.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  I'm literally crying.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  I'm sobbing. Like people say they're sobbing, but I'm sobbing.

• 36:02Speaker 00

  Like, I am sobbing.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  I'm truly sobbing.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  I don't even know what I was gonna say, but.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Why is she banned from Foxwoods? It's crazy.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  I'm like actively trying not to pee my pants.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Why?

• 36:27Speaker 00

  Why did she develop that skill?

• 36:29Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  And they never, they never ju, like they don't touch upon it. She can also read from really far away too.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Oh my god. That's the thing. I would have a constant migraine if I was a vampire.

• 36:40Speaker 00

  Cause they're so sensory overload.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  They're astute.

• 36:44Speaker 00

  I would lose my goddamn mind. The way she's just fucking, she's just running the tables. I was like, whoa.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Well, she can't pee now.

• 36:53Speaker 00

  And she can't.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  She'll have to try Mohegan Sun.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Think if you're banned from Foxwoods, you're probably banned from the other though.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  Mohegan Sun doesn't want your ass.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  There's that other one in Rhythm I guess you can try.

• 37:10Speaker 00

  You got caught at Foxwoods, you can't.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 37:14Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  I was also saying, I don't even know how to transition away from that, but so like Arena like rolls up.

• 37:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  In the book, she's hunting, right?

• 37:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think so.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  Uh, Renesmee. In the movie, Renesmee's just like floating in there capturing snowflakes for some fucking reason. And Arena sees her and she's like, oh goddamn, gotta go tell everybody. But then, so Alice sees everybody coming.

• 37:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Names them all. I'm also like, okay, so now, and then Alice decides to leave.

• 37:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's like, bye.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  And she's like,

• 37:47Speaker 00

  Deal with it.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Nobody really knows why at first.

• 37:50Speaker 00

  No.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  But I was like, it's wild that they're, and oh, cause everybody's gonna get killed.

• 37:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  So I'm like, it's wild that there's no resentment toward Bella and Edward and this family. Like every year they have a new problem and the entire family is expected to bail them out of it.

• 38:03Speaker 00

  That's, it's so true.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  I would hate my family member.

• 38:06Speaker 00

  And it's like, this is the entire, this is the vampire government.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:10Speaker 00

  And they are constantly up in their business. Like they're just always, always coming to get them. Always, or they gotta come to them. They're always dealing with them.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:19Speaker 00

  And in that same scene, when she's catching the snowflakes and she brings one over to Bella and she's like, look, I caught a snowflake. No fucking shit. I am not being hyperbolic at all. Kristen Stewart looks at that child and goes, it's beautiful. Go get me another one. And I was like,

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Go on, get it.

• 38:39Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  Get out of here, bitch.

• 38:40Speaker 00

  And she's like, okay. And I was like, do you like that?

• 38:43Speaker 01

  No, that's the other thing. There is no maternal connection on screen.

• 38:49Speaker 00

  No.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Maybe there's like a hint of a paternal connection, but.

• 38:54Speaker 00

  A hint, maybe?

• 38:55Speaker 01

  You don't even see them with Renesmee all that much.

• 38:58Speaker 00

  No, you really don't. You see, honestly, watching her with Rosalie, you're like, that's your mama.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 00

  Like that's, she's playing with you.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Go to her, babe.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  She seems to like your face. Like, it's crazy.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  She does. It's her killer clown face.

• 39:10Speaker 00

  Your killer clown face. And one of the other things, just to go back to when she first turns into a vampire and she wakes up and she's like, whoa, look at how hot I am. She, in the book, talks about her flat, empty stomach.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  Said you bitch.

• 39:23Speaker 00

  Over and over again. Just gave birth, just became a vampire. And she's like, flat stomach, my flat stomach, my flat stomach. And I'm like, okay, okay.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  Not just bleeding out everywhere, like every other pregnant lady.

• 39:34Speaker 00

  I realize she's a vampire, so things work a little different, but I'm like, do we really need to talk? Like, does it have to be like flat stomach, flat stomach, flat stomach, flat stomach? Cause then she's like, my flat, empty stomach. Like there, there was no baby in there anymore. And it's like, okay, like she's here. Do you wanna go meet her?

• 39:51Speaker 01

  It's like, it's almost cooler. You can, you can hang now.

• 39:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  She can go get you more snowflakes.

• 39:56Speaker 00

  I loved being pregnant. I loved my babies being in my belly, but like, it was really cool to have them outside of my belly as well.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  It's like, I wanna hang out. Let's go.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  And no, I wasn't like, look at this flat stomach. It was like, oh, I still look pregnant.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  I don't think many with, uh, women who have given birth are like, oh my god, my stomach's so flat again.

• 40:11Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  I'm like, I think you're all just like, you know, going through the motions.

• 40:16Speaker 00

  Also, they, they are so, it's the way they discuss and deal with sex in this movie in particular.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  Juvenile.

• 40:26Speaker 00

  Is juvenile as fuck.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  It is.

• 40:28Speaker 00

  Because of course they have to run off and have lots of sex.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Without their newborn child.

• 40:32Speaker 00

  When they can, even though they have a newborn child that neither one of them knows.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  I'm like, hey, you should probably bond with that kid.

• 40:38Speaker 00

  Try bonding with that kid for like a minute.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Just give it a, give it a shot.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, just give it a shot. Cause you know also that they're gonna age rapidly.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:45Speaker 00

  This stage is gonna be gone in seven minutes.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Not only that, in the beginning, they don't know how long she's gonna live.

• 40:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  Cause they're like, she's gonna age so rapidly, she's just gonna die like next week.

• 40:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. But then also like, and especially in the book, when they come back from the cottage, the whole Cullen crew is like giggling and being like, did you break the cottage down? Cause you fucked so much. Like, isn't that so funny? You guys were touching each other last night. Like one of them is like, were you doing taxes? And it's like there, I'm like, are you all all right?

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Like, in the movie?

• 41:17Speaker 00

  Hundreds of years and you haven't developed any sense of decorum around people fucking?

• 41:22Speaker 01

  No, they think it's the funniest.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Like, god damn.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  In the movie, Emmet is like, did you break everything?

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. And it's like, are, are you all right?

• 41:27Speaker 01

  Like, ew.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  In what family? May, maybe I'm crazy. What family is openly discussing that and being like,

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Not mine, babe. Not mine.

• 41:37Speaker 00

  What the fuck? And then they're, they're getting, you know, uh, when, when they do have Charlie over, one of the things that was so annoying was when they're trying to train her to like be a human again, even though she was a human four minutes ago.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  I'm like, you forgot already?

• 41:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 00

  But they're like, okay, you have to move slow. And they're like, get up and walk over to that chair. And she like zooms over to the chair and I was like,

• 41:58Speaker 01

  We've seen her walk at a normal pace.

• 42:00Speaker 00

  You've been walking totally normal.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  Why can you suddenly not do it? And then they're like, and you have to remember to breathe. I was like, don't worry, she, read the book. She's remembering to breathe. And they're like, and blink, do that, blink. And all those things too, I was like, here's the thing. I never noticed how much somebody breathes.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 42:17Speaker 00

  I don't think I would notice if somebody wasn't breathing.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  The only thing that I think I would notice is if they weren't blinking. I think that would freak me out.

• 42:23Speaker 00

  I think eventually I would notice that.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 00

  But the breathing thing, I wouldn't clock that probably. If they were talking to me, I would assume they were breathing.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 00

  So.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:31Speaker 00

  I was like, that's weird. Um, I did see a behind the scenes thing, speaking of them like moving really fast, of how they do that sometimes, at least in this movie.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  That took me out.

• 42:41Speaker 00

  They attach them to treadmills.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:44Speaker 00

  And they run in place on the treadmill and then that treadmill is attached to something else that is like a car moving.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  That would also, I think, make me like very ill.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  I feel like that would fuck me up.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Running and then also being pulled at the same time, like

• 42:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  stationary running and being pulled would feel

• 42:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  real fucking weird.

• 43:01Speaker 00

  That would feel real weird.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  You gotta, you guys gotta find that video though, because it will take you out.

• 43:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'll find it. I'll see if we can post it, cause it is too funny.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:11Speaker 00

  Um, but yeah, it's, so there's that whole thing. And then of course, the Volturi is coming because we got Arena being a bitch.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 43:20Speaker 00

  I still say Arrow for life.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  The way he laughs.

• 43:23Speaker 00

  We get the laugh of all laughs in this one. Oh my God, it is, we watch it twice every time.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  I watched it four times this week.

• 43:31Speaker 00

  At least twice.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:32Speaker 00

  In a row. You gotta rewind it and listen to it again. Uh, he's lovely. I love him.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  He's great. He also has really good hair.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I just think he wins. He's my favorite character ever in the entire series.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's wonderful.

• 43:44Speaker 00

  Um, they still talked about, and they brought it to this one. So like, we were talking about in like the Illustrated God, uh, TM, that, uh, they do a lot of, into like the immortal children. And now like, you know, everybody was obsessed with them, but then they were so diabolically crazy and they would just like destroy villages. And I was like, is it my youngest? Super, super cute, diabolical.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  Said been there, done that.

• 44:07Speaker 00

  I was like, ah, but they really go into it in this part. And the way they talk about them, they just cannot stop saying how beautiful they are. And it's like, it just makes it weird. Cause it's like, it's not, they never just put it as like, well, they're children, so they're innocent. And you have this like

• 44:27Speaker 01

  They're just so cute and sweet.

• 44:28Speaker 00

  People are like automatically, for the most part, if you have a soul, have some kind of like

• 44:32Speaker 01

  Connection.

• 44:32Speaker 00

  Connection or some kind of like need to want to protect an innocent being.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 44:37Speaker 00

  You know, like that's, that is how it should be, but they keep being like, they're so beautiful. People would fall all, they're just so beautiful.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, they don't use like appropriate language.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I'm like, it's weird.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  You don't, like, obviously, like when somebody first has a baby, you're like, oh my God, they're beautiful. Like, look at them. But then a lot of the times you shift to like adorable, cute, like sweet little babe.

• 44:58Speaker 00

  And it's just like the defining characteristic.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  I also think because you already have the weird fucking imprinting going on.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  That's the thing.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  And then you bring it to a place of like, everybody is obsessed with beautiful vampire babies. It's like, we're talking too much about children here and it's really fucking weird.

• 45:12Speaker 00

  We're getting weird with like looking at kids and

• 45:15Speaker 01

  There's weird boundaries that are being crossed.

• 45:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't love it.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:18Speaker 00

  What I do love though, is that the Volturi, they're just walking for so long.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 00

  Like in the movie, you're just like, wow, they're just walking.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  I also love that they're just running like a talent monopoly.

• 45:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  I love that. Cause they really want Alice, so like they'll kill the whole Cullen family just to get Alice.

• 45:33Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, like that, I love that Arrow, he's a collector at heart.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, he is.

• 45:38Speaker 00

  You know, like he's

• 45:38Speaker 01

  He's just a collector, period.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  And he loves what he does. And he's like, I don't care if it takes a long time.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  And from the jump, he's wanted people that like Illustrated God TM, he's wanted special people. Who doesn't want to be around special people?

• 45:49Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  I don't want to be around a bunch of boars.

• 45:51Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying, like Marcus, cause Marcus, I think in like, um, what can he do? He can like

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Can he feel everybody's feelings?

• 45:59Speaker 00

  I think he can, I think he can like figure out like feelings. I'll have to look it up.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Let me see, uh,

• 46:03Speaker 00

  Relationship identification.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Oh, so he can find like emotional bombs?

• 46:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  And like strengths and weaknesses.

• 46:09Speaker 00

  Assess it like right away, which is really good to have.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  And when, um, when they first like got together and Arrow, and they were like forming the Volturi, we talked about this before, but it comes up kind of subtly in this one.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:24Speaker 00

  That he, Marcus fell in love with Arrow's sister, Dadeem. And she, like they fell in love with each other.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 46:31Speaker 00

  And, um, I guess when, you know, like Marcus was like, we should run away together and let's just be together. Cause they were like literally in love and just wanted a nice life together. But Arrow was so scared of losing Marcus's gift, that he had his own sister murdered.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:46Speaker 00

  Which is

• 46:47Speaker 01

  He did do that.

• 46:47Speaker 00

  I will say is a stain on Arrow.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we, we have to acknowledge that.

• 46:51Speaker 00

  I will acknowledge that.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  That he murdered his own sister.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  But in this one, when the battle quote unquote is happening and Vladimir and Stefan

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Who I fucking love infinitely.

• 47:02Speaker 00

  Hilarious.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  I love them.

• 47:03Speaker 00

  I love them.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  I love them.

• 47:05Speaker 00

  I love them. Uh, we don't care what you did, Carla.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Carlisle.

• 47:10Speaker 00

  They, they like rush at him and are like, we're gonna rip him apart. He holds his arms out and just says, finally.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Cause he is, because he just wants to be with Dadeem.

• 47:18Speaker 00

  Oh, I thought that was beautiful.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  He also looks like handsome Squidward.

• 47:22Speaker 00

  He does look like handsome Squidward. I just, he's a whole vibe and I love him.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love him too. Remember we said it always looked like he was farting in like the first time we met him? Looked like he had like immense gas pains.

• 47:32Speaker 00

  It always did.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  And he, he needed this

• 47:34Speaker 00

  When he's sitting in a chair, he struggles.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  He, yeah.

• 47:37Speaker 00

  He struggles.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  Gas will do that to you.

• 47:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's not great. Uh, but also like there's, this is just a little side thing. Cause of course in this one, we meet a ton of other vampire clans and like covens.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  We meet fucking Rami Malek.

• 47:52Speaker 00

  We meet Rami Malek before he was like, really Rami Malek?

• 47:55Speaker 01

  I wrote, Rami Malek, what the fuck are you doing here?

• 47:57Speaker 00

  What are you doing here? And I think he, I'm trying to remember, he in the book, I believe

• 48:03Speaker 01

  He's Benjamin.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I, I want to say like, cause, cause they're the Egyptian

• 48:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  In that one, none of them will touch Renesmee at first.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Oh, but he's really sweet with her in the movie.

• 48:15Speaker 00

  He's really sweet with her like right away.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  And he's the one that's like, fuck y'all, I want to hear this.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 00

  Um, he's a fun character.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  I like him.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  And, um, I think there, it's fun to meet all these other ones, but I think we don't get enough time with them.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  We don't.

• 48:30Speaker 00

  I would have loved to get more time with the different covens interacting with, you get like kind of a like a mismatch.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Well, and I feel like the perfect way to have done that was to introduce us to more of them, like during the wedding festivities.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, cause you're just kind of throwing them all at us.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, and it like, when you're introducing me to that many people, no, I'm not gonna remember all of them.

• 48:52Speaker 00

  Like, you know, Because like, we meet like Garrett, who's like the forever bachelor.

• 48:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  And then he meets Kate from the Denali clan, I think it is.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  And he like says some shit about her, like, cause she has that like electrical

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, she can zap it out.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  Like voltage that she'll do.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, she can zap your ass.

• 49:10Speaker 00

  She can zap your ass. And he makes like some comment, like it's, it must not be that strong. And she's absolutely, like she literally, she is so, like within one second of being assaulted by her, he's like, this is it, we're, we're never leaving each other's side. Which I was like, I, I want to see them more. Like, I was like, I, cause that was weird. And then all of a sudden they're just together and they're like, I will never leave your side. And she's like, you tell me now. And I was like, when did this happen? Like, I was like, dude, bring me that.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:36Speaker 00

  Cause to be honest, I'm sick of Bella and Edward, I don't need to see that shit anymore. And I certainly don't need to see Jacob and Renesmee, so.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Bella and Edward have no fucking romantic connection. They just don't.

• 49:45Speaker 00

  And you know what?

• 49:46Speaker 01

  What?

• 49:47Speaker 00

  We're gonna talk about that.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  Let's talk about it.

• 49:49Speaker 00

  For one second.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Oh, I know where you're headed.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  So first of all, they, I did have not read all of Midnight Sun, but I have

• 49:57Speaker 01

  It's a big book.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  I have scanned through and I did know, cause when the Irish vampire showed up, I said, oh, I know the Irish vampires, I know Siobhan over there, my girl.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  You said, I remember her.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  I said, I remember Siobhan and I remember Siobhan because Edward in Midnight Sun fucking thirsts after Siobhan in a way he never does with Bella.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:22Speaker 00

  And if you go to Kate, uh, Sarah Gallagher, who we've shouted out before. On TikTok, she wrote the Why We Love to Hate Twilight.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  She's so funny.

• 50:30Speaker 00

  And she goes really deeply into all these things. She has touched upon this before too, so go watch her videos for sure. But in Midnight Sun, I went back and I was looking and first of all, when he first meets Siobhan, it's the first vampire he's met like after, I think like turn being turned. And he first calls her the largest woman he's ever seen.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  No woman wants to hear that.

• 50:54Speaker 00

  Which like, wow, Edward.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  You better get a different pickup line, my babe.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  Yeah. And she is also the only like curvy gal that is ever explained in the, in the Twilight universe. I think everybody else is just like, you know.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  Slim and trim.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  And that's a direct quote. He says broader shoulders, thicker limbs. And I was like, do, do we need to?

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 51:13Speaker 00

  And he says, then she, he says, she was profoundly female in shape, aggressively, forcefully female.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  What does that mean? Because that's not the only time that Steph loves to say somebody is aggressively feminine. Or feminine. Yeah. He says, it's written in Jacob's point of view about, I think Rosalie and Esme.

• 51:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  It's like, what does that mean?

• 51:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  I said, I was like, is she like spraying perfume in his eyes?

• 51:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Let's go pick flowers in a field. I love pink.

• 51:44Speaker 00

  Like, what does that mean?

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Like, obviously stereotypes, but like, what?

• 51:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. That's, and that's what I mean. It's feel stereo. It's like, what does that mean?

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Aggressively female is crazy.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  Forcefully female.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Forcefully.

• 51:56Speaker 00

  And then he says, it had been another lifetime that I had last noticed a woman this way.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  God damn.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  And then he said, I found, I found I was hard pressed to know where to put my eyes. Her face, because then he locks on her face. And he says, her face was intensely female. So her body is aggressively and forcefully female. Her face intensely female.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Such female.

• 52:20Speaker 00

  In case you wanted to know, he's assuming she's female by what he is seeing here.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  He says, her eyes were enormous, but they were beautiful.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 52:29Speaker 00

  Thick eyelashes, glossy hair, he explains it as.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  Bitch.

• 52:34Speaker 00

  And curvy lips.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Curvy lips. Aren't everybody's lips curvy?

• 52:38Speaker 00

  Hers were curvier.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Badoo, badoo.

• 52:40Speaker 00

  Curvier girl. He also talks about how she was wearing just like this, like nothing of a dress. And it's just like showing all her curves and he was fucking smitten. He was in it to win it. And then another woman comes up next to her, another vampire. And of course he calls her a female as well, which I, for some reason, the term female get like irks me.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  I'm always turned off by that.

• 53:03Speaker 00

  It just sounds like me.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Especially when a man calls a woman a female.

• 53:06Speaker 00

  Female, like, I don't know. And he talks about the other female coming next to her. And then he says, coming next to the larger female.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 53:13Speaker 00

  Do we, is that how we're really comparing people?

• 53:16Speaker 01

  If you want to love her, you better learn how to talk about her body, yada, yada.

• 53:20Speaker 00

  And he says, well, the first female was the, like, you know, the picture of, of like having everything, like extra, everything. He said, this one was the picture of lack, just nothing. And I was like, what an asshole you are.

• 53:36Speaker 01

  He was singing that Meghan Trainor song. He was like, I'm all about that.

• 53:39Speaker 00

  Oh my God. He would, he would have loved her during that era.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  What did she say? Like the mother skinny bitches? Is that what it is?

• 53:46Speaker 00

  Could die or something.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  She doesn't say that.

• 53:49Speaker 00

  That's a direct quote, verbatim from the song.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  The lyrics to that song are insane.

• 53:54Speaker 00

  They're wild.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  That's, that's Edward's point of view right now.

• 53:56Speaker 00

  He said, I'm all about that base.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  No treble.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  No treble.

• 53:59Speaker 00

  Nah, because treble lacks.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:01Speaker 00

  But so there's that. That's how he saw Siobhan.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  Now let's, let's talk about how he, how he felt about Bella.

• 54:09Speaker 00

  Then he's sitting there, because in Midnight Sun, it's from his point of view. So he's talking, everybody's talking about the new girl coming to school.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 54:17Speaker 00

  And he thinks of Bella and he sees her face in everyone's mind. He can see her. He knows what she looks like. And he says, she's, and I quote, an ordinary human girl.

• 54:28Speaker 01

  Nothing would take me out like the love of my life calling me an ordinary girl.

• 54:32Speaker 00

  At one point, he says, despite her ordinary, again, unthreatening appearance, she was actually, quote, sort of pretty for a human, sort of pretty for a human, in an unusual way. And then he says, her face was, quote, unexpected.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Is this a roast?

• 54:52Speaker 00

  He says, her narrow chin off balance with her wide cheekbones.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 54:58Speaker 00

  Extreme in the coloring, like dark hair, light skin.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Said high contrast.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Then, he says, then there were those eyes, too big for her face. Now I want you to directly contrast that to him saying that Siobhan's eyes were enormous, but they were gorgeous. Like he was into it.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  He said, these, they don't work on her face.

• 55:18Speaker 00

  And the way he talks about her fucking clothing in Midnight Sun with Siobhan, he's like, she wore like nothing. It was like a little flit dress. It was nothing. There was, I could see everything. And then with, with Bella, he's like, she wore this fucking frumpy ass sweater. He calls it the ugly sweater. He's happy she wore it because he's like, I can't see anything. So it's probably good that I can't see anything in this front, this jumble of clothes, essentially.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  He doesn't want to see what she's got.

• 55:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. He only likes it when he can see her goddamn clavicle because he loves a clavicle.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  He just wants to eat it.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. He loves a clavicle.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 55:51Speaker 00

  But yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Imagine, imagine Bella reading Midnight Sun and being like, like at the end of the movie, she's like, I want to show you how much I love you. He's like, don't touch me.

• 55:58Speaker 00

  And he's like, oh my God.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  He's like, if it will show you my first memories of you, do not fucking touch me.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  He throws a copy of Midnight Sun away. He's like, I don't have any memories of that.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  He starts ruining them all.

• 56:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. He's like, I don't, I don't remember anything about what I thought about you. I just, I've always loved you.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Whoa, what do you die about?

• 56:13Speaker 00

  Like, just sitting there and you watch the movie and you're like, you just liked the way she smelled.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:21Speaker 00

  And you didn't even, kinda.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  No, he actually hated the way he smelled.

• 56:25Speaker 00

  But like, she tastes good, I think, or you knew she tastes good.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  I think it's.

• 56:29Speaker 00

  She's a singer.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cause I don't even know if he was like repulsed by the way she smelled or if he was just like trying not to smell her because he was like, oh my God.

• 56:36Speaker 00

  And I think he's just bad at, at not looking repulsed.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:40Speaker 00

  And a pain.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  But yeah, like that is, that would kill me.

• 56:44Speaker 00

  Pretty great. So when I saw Siobhan come on the scene, I said, we gotta take a look at that.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. Nothing happens in the movie.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  No, they don't even touch upon it.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  Oh, that could have been a fun little.

• 56:52Speaker 00

  And what's weird is they make it like, um, what was the girl that in the, remember in the last movie, she was like a little jealous of because they like, she liked Edward and Edward like.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. I, for some reason I thought it was Arena.

• 57:09Speaker 00

  I don't think it was their cousin, so I hope not. Yeah. I don't think it was Arena. Oh, Tanya. Is it Tanya?

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Tanya is Arena's sister.

• 57:18Speaker 00

  Yeah. I think it is one of them.

• 57:20Speaker 01

  So like he loved his cousin?

• 57:21Speaker 00

  Cause I think they're only cousins by like, by like vampirism, you know?

• 57:26Speaker 01

  But like still, that's, but I think you shouldn't put that label on that.

• 57:30Speaker 00

  Tanya?

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Is it? Let's see.

• 57:31Speaker 00

  I think it is Tanya.

• 57:35Speaker 00

  Because remember like Bella describes her in the most like anti-woman way in the world. She's like, she's so disgustingly pretty. She made my stomach second. I wanted to kill her.

• 57:44Speaker 01

  Tanya had a crush on Edward in the past.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  Yeah. And they, I think they wanted them to get together, like that was part of the.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  But I think he was never interested.

• 57:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. He wasn't interested.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's what it is.

• 57:54Speaker 00

  Cause she was also a, she wasn't Siobhan. So there was that. And it's like, they touch upon that in the movies, but they just pretended Siobhan didn't exist.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  But she's like, but it's pretty big thing. And like, it's a moment in Midnight Sun. So it's like, why wouldn't you touch upon that? I think that would have been fucking interesting because to be quite honest, for all they've built up with Bella and Edward, the emotional payoff of that relationship was nothing happened.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 00

  And hey, do you want to watch a quick little movie trailer of, of our best hits?

• 58:29Speaker 01

  That? And then she also says, and I said, fuck you, girl. She said, nobody has ever loved anybody as much as I love you.

• 58:36Speaker 00

  I wanted to fight her.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  You don't know my fucking life.

• 58:38Speaker 00

  Exactly. I said, fuck you.

• 58:39Speaker 01

  You don't know anything about me in the way I love.

• 58:41Speaker 00

  You can't even say that. You don't know everybody. So that's a lie.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Bella?

• 58:46Speaker 00

  You're being very disingenuous.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  Guess what? He doesn't love you as much as you love him. How about that?

• 58:49Speaker 00

  One thing, it's true. Just read Midnight Sun, babe.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Funny.

• 58:52Speaker 00

  And one, one last thing that I loved during the battle was how, cause like Hyas, who's a Jamie Lynn, or Jamie Lynn Bauer, Jamie Campbell Bauer, who plays Vecna on Stranger Things. Uh, it's so funny because he just does not want to let this go. He's like, I just want to fuck shit up.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:09Speaker 00

  Which is very Vecna. And also when they're like, you know, he's like, he's not an immortal child. And we're like, Arrow's like, we're not gonna break laws and kill that child because it's not an immortal child. And he's like, I feel like we can though. I feel like we could kill that immortal. Let's kill the kid.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Just die to kill it.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  Figure out a way to kill that kid. I'm like, Vecna's just like in every universe, just out here killing kids. Like he's like, let me kill a kid.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  He's typecast.

• 59:30Speaker 00

  Jamie Campbell Bauer is just out here being like, let me kill a kid.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Typecast is a kid killer.

• 59:35Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  Truly. I was like, damn.

• 59:37Speaker 00

  He's just across universes doing the same shit.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  It's wild. The biggest thing that I hate about the battle, and I said it at the very beginning, but I have to say it again, is I just hate that Alice shows up. And every, in like, in the movie, oh, here's the other thing. I actually want to talk about this. Hold on. Let me get to my, my good thing here.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  So in the, in the book, they just have a conversation, like the battle that happens on screen where like Carlisle dies and I think.

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, like, like everybody dies.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Basically, like a lot of Cullens die. That doesn't happen in the book. So this is directly from Stephanie Meyer's website. She says, the question, which I got frequently, was how I felt about having a big change inserted into the story during the final climax. My answer was that it didn't feel like such a huge departure. What Steph? A whole battle ensues and multiple Cullens die. She said, for me, this moment already happened in the book. However. No, it literally didn't. However, we don't get to see it in all its exciting and gory detail because we're seeing the world only through Bella's eyes. Babe, I feel like we're not seeing it because you didn't fucking write it in the book. But she says, she goes on, a few of the reporters I talked to wanted to know where in the book this moment was hidden because much like Ashkel, they were confused.

• 1:00:50Speaker 00

  Much like everybody.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Everyone who read the book, they said, no, no, it wasn't in there.

• 1:00:55Speaker 00

  I, I read it. It wasn't there.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  She says, the answer is page seven, 38, fourth paragraph down. Aro stared into my eyes for a long tense moment. I had no, uh, no idea what he was searching for or what he found, but after he had measured me for that moment, something in his face changed. A faint shift in the set of his, uh, mouth and eyes, and I knew that Aro had made his decision.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Stephanie, where are all of the Cullens killed in that? Stephanie, where's the battle where everybody's heads are ripped off and the earth is split into two and everybody dies?

• 1:01:25Speaker 00

  Cause also, isn't the whole thing in the movie that it's Alice who's like, here's your future?

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:01:31Speaker 00

  But then he's doing it to Bella in the book and Bella, like his whole power is he can like see every thought you've had.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:39Speaker 00

  That doesn't make any sense.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  No, because in the book, they're just talking.

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  Exactly. And her, that wouldn't even work. Like she doesn't have the ability to show him the future.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  Either way. So.

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  I guess good, good try on that one. Also, the weird thing about the ending of the movie, and I don't know if it happened similarly in the book, is that uh, fucking Bella like touches Edward to show him like this movie of their whole three years of life together. That's Renesmee's gift. Bella's gift is shield. Yeah, I guess she can lower the shield and she just didn't know that. She can lower the shield and like give people memories? And she's figured it out. Okay. She was like, oh my god. You could have seen this shit. I feel like that was like ever, but I just didn't know I could lower it. But I figured it out because I'm such a good vampire. I hate it here. It's the way that there are no stakes. It's just like The way that the stakes are completely done.

• 1:02:36Speaker 00

  It's so anticlimactic. Yeah. Because the, the climax isn't real. No. And again, nothing pisses me off more. Nothing. Yeah, I remember, I think I watched this for the first time when I was young and I was like, oh my god, I'm sure relieved that Carla doesn't die. Yeah. I watched this as an adult and I, I completely Yeah. Forgot everything. So I walked into this and I was like, wow, I don't remember any of this. Yeah. And then we got to the battle and I was like, oh, none of this is real. I do remember that. And I was pissed. Because it real, and it makes sense to do it for the movie. Mm hmm. But like, like Aiden was saying it earlier, that it completely has no rewatchability with the way they presented this twist. No.

• 1:03:20Speaker 00

  Because like spoiler alert for the sixth sense. If you haven't heard that one, honey. You haven't seen it. But when you find out the twist in that movie, you go, whoa, and it blows your mind, just like this battle scene blew everyone's mind. Yeah. Because when it twists out, you're like, oh my god, like holy shit. But with the sixth sense, the thing that makes that different is then you go, oh shit, you go, I'm gonna rewatch that again. And now suddenly I'm noticing all the things that, that actually like, the evidence that supports what I just saw in that twist. Right. And it's actually crazy to rewatch. And every time you rewatch it, you see a new little thing that you're like, oh my god, in that, like that thing. Yeah. This has nothing. No.

• 1:04:03Speaker 00

  So it's like, that twist stood alone with nothing to give it like the rewatchability of like, oh, I'm gonna watch that again and see if I can like, catch it here. No, because as somebody who literally just said I rewatched it and I literally got to the battle and was pissed. I was like, oh, right. This doesn't happen. So why, what's the point of even watching it if it doesn't happen? That's, yeah. You know what, like, like it doesn't have a rewatchability. It's like getting on a roller coaster and they just let you sit there for five minutes and then they're like, oh my god, wasn't that the most thrilling roller coaster? And you're like, no. Because it didn't go. And you want it like at the end of it, you're just like, everything just kind of fizzled out, which like, I know, trust me, I know. At writing an ending, hardest thing you're gonna have to do. Yeah.

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  It's not easy. I will never say it's easy. And sometimes it, it just doesn't come out. Yeah. But this one just felt like, that's the ending? Like you didn't want to give any kind of stakes, no drama, nothing that was gonna leave somebody like, oh, fuck, that happened? You know what I mean? Like you don't, there's not a lot to talk about with the ending because Well. It all just wrapped up in a bow. It did. And the biggest, the biggest like fear they're facing is like, oh my god, they're not only gonna kill our child, but all of us. But like, the child being killed is the biggest thing here. In the end of the movie, it's, it literally ends with Bella and Edward. Where the fuck is Renesmee? Yeah. You're not clinging on to her like, oh my god. And also Yeah.

• 1:05:24Speaker 00

  Not only did she not die, but you also find out like, that guy, I, what's the guy's name that Alice goes to get to prove that like immortal? Oh, yeah. It's uh Because of an H. Or

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, they just brightly, they just bring him out. They're like, hey, look at this. He's an immortal child or not an immortal child. Oh, Nahul, Nahul. Oh, it wasn't. So you're correct. But there was an H in it. There was an H and an N. So look at us both being correct. Yeah. Uh, he's like a hundred and fifty. Yeah. So like, you also just realized that you, like, like, you know what I mean? I'm just like, what the fuck? I just feel, that's the thing. It should have ended since the entirety of Breaking Dawn was about, you know, it really wasn't just about Bella and Edward. It was about Renesmee and what's gonna happen and the family and how it's, how they're gonna, and it was about all of them. Right. And to just end on Bella and Edward, which I know what they were doing with that. Like, I get it. I'm not, I'm not dense.

• 1:06:20Speaker 00

  But like, I know they were trying to be like, well, of course it's gonna end on, and it's like, it needs to end on Bella, Edward and Renesmee. Child. The new family that they have together. Right. You begin with the two of them, you end with the new family they have created together. And, and then it's also just like, okay, look, she gets to have it all. Whoopie. Yeah. And again, it's like, poor Rosalie over there. Like, just throw her to the wind. And it's like, but Bella gets it all. And it's like, oh god. It just doesn't feel good. I don't like it. This movie is the worst one. Yeah, I think the earlier Twilight movies are more, they have the vibe that I like better. Even Breaking Dawn, part one, I didn't, like, I feel like we watched it so long ago, I can't remember how much I liked it. Not a lot happened.

• 1:07:04Speaker 00

  Not a lot happens, but it's better at lea, and it has more of the like themes. Yeah. Uh, that early Twilight did. Yeah. But Twilight and New Moon are definitely the best of the two. They didn't know what to do when they, but when they, when they involved a child, they had no, nobody knew what to do. Yeah. It's like it all fell to the wayside because they just didn't know. They, they made her the stakes, but she was barely around. Mm hmm. What happens in Eclipse? Why can't I remember what, I can never remember what happens in Eclipse. Isn't that when, what does happen in Eclipse? So we got New Moon when Edward leaves. Isn't Eclipse when Jake finds out?

• 1:07:48Speaker 00

  No. What the fuck happens in Eclipse? They're all running together. That was just erased for me all of a sudden. Is that when they start building the vampire army?

• 1:08:01Speaker 00

  And they know Victoria's coming? Yes. That's the newborn vampire army that, that Victoria is forming to come attack them. And then that, that erupts in? Yeah. In Eclipse. Okay. That's when like the, that's when they have to like sleep in the, the tent and he says, I am hotter than you and all that shit. So actually, yeah, I don't even remember Breaking Dawn part one, because I was thinking that was Breaking Dawn part one. And I was like, oh, that's pretty good. One is when they get married and go on a honeymoon. Oh, yeah. I hate that one. So And then she comes home and she's just wa, like wasting away. So I take back what I said, like that doesn't even have the themes of Twilight. The first three have great themes and they're fun. Yeah. Breaking Dawn part one and two suck. Yeah, I'm not a fan. Breaking Dawn, one and two suck. I don't, I could have done without it. Yeah, that's really

• 1:08:45Speaker 00

  I really could have. And I guess what was gonna happen was she was gonna go from Twilight, straight to something called Forever Dawn. And it was basically Twilight to them, like getting married and all that. I was gonna skip all the, that would have been awful. But that would have been the worst. Yeah, we wouldn't have never got Because I'd much rather get New Moon and Eclipse out of it. New Moon is so depressing, but it's like one of my faves. But it has There's a possibility. Aiden also, by the way, uh, our cousin slash nephew slash new producer. We just started referencing him and everybody's probably like, who the fuck is that? Who the fuck is Aiden? Uh, oh, and Mikey's still like here. Yeah, guys, Mikey is still our friend. He still works for us and everything. He just moved to Canada. Just so you know, like, he's not gone. Yeah.

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  Uh, Aiden just like happens to live in Massachusetts and like, he's all right. We like him. Yeah, we're okay. But it was so funny because he's never seen a single Twilight movie or read any of the Twilight books. And yesterday, he watched the movie with me so I could take extra notes. And that was, he was thrown into the deep end of the pool. And he is literally going to see, he just ordered Twilight to start reading it. And I can't wait for this journey. Know everything about this. I just love the way your journey began was just like, what the fuck is this? Was Breaking Dawn part two, the movie? You watched the worst movie ever and you were like, let me get into this. And he acknowledged, he was like, this is a shit movie, but like, what's this all about? Going down this rabbit hole, though.

• 1:10:13Speaker 00

  It's such a, it's, it's such a, it's like a club. It really is. We all belong to. It's true. I'm kind of sad that we're like done. I know. Now I feel like I want to do something else like this. So if you guys have, if you guys have suggestions for what, because obviously you're still gonna get bonus episodes, there'll just be other things. Things, yeah. Um, like we've been doing between these. But if you have something else that you want us to do this kind of thing with, where we're like, we do one and like, we have a few other ones in between and then we do a second one. Yeah. Like it's like a series or something. Yeah, or, you know, whatever. If you guys want to suggest, go right ahead. See, some people suggest Fifty Shades of Grey. I can't do it. Oh, my god. We watched one of them, I think, on Scream. And I was like, I can't, I can't watch all of these movies. That'll make me homicidal. That will kill me. Yeah, I can't do it.

• 1:10:58Speaker 00

  I can't brain rot that deep. No, I can't either.

• 1:11:03Speaker 00

  Just anything but that. Yeah, but suggest. Yeah, we love, I want to hear what you have to say. Because you guys, we, we all loved doing this and you guys loved it. We loved doing it. So we'll listen to what you guys think should be next. And we hope you keep listening. And we hope you Keep it weird. But also maybe you get banned from Foxwoods and you can sound

• 1:11:24Speaker 00

  And shout out to State Farm. State Farm.

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Every good detective needs a partner to support them on important cases. Think of a State Farm agent like your sidekick, there to help you along the way in your search for coverage. State Farm can help you choose the coverage you need, whether it's for your home, car, boat, or even RV. With so many options, it's nice knowing you have help finding what fits for you, so you can get back to solving all of life's bigger cases. Go to statefarm.com or use the award-winning app to connect with a local agent and get a quote. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.