Side Stories: Hot Mic

Henry & Eddie are back in New York City with this week’s weird news, digging into Gypsy Rose Blanchard’s prison phone calls and the conversations she probably should’ve remembered were being recorded. THEN! A cheesesteak assault at Pat’s King of Steaks has Ed questioning the state of Philadelphia, the Christa Pike case sparks a unique discussion on capital punishment, a Red Lobster customer allegedly fakes a medical emergency to dodge his bill, Listener Stories of dogs with a taste for human flesh, cobra venom injections, and MORE!

• 0:00Speaker 00

  On October 30th, Dexter Morgan is back. In this season, he's facing the scariest threat yet. Middle age. A lifetime of blending in gets to you. And now Dexter is up against two rival killers stealing the spotlight. Taking them down means changing his MO and things are gonna get messy. Starring Michael C. Hall, Uma Thurman, Dan Stevens, and Brian Cox. Dexter: Resurrection. New season, October 30th on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Last podcast on the left is all about the facts. So when Southern New Hampshire University came on as a sponsor, it was time to do some research. Turns out they offer more than 200 online degree programs. And get this, criminal justice and psychology are some of the most popular. Classes have no set meeting times and tuition rates are some of the lowest in the U.S. Want to learn even more about SNHU? Visit SNHU.edu/last.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  There's no place to escape to.

• 1:02Speaker 03

  This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories?

• 1:09Speaker 02

  That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Side stories. Yes.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  I'm not even joking. I have a full Lars von Trier outfit now.

• 1:25Speaker 04

  Does it come with a tutu?

• 1:26Speaker 01

  No. No, I got, this is hilarious.

• 1:29Speaker 04

  Does it come with pants?

• 1:31Speaker 01

  House that Jack built. Sweatpants.

• 1:34Speaker 04

  House the Jack built sweatpants?

• 1:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37Speaker 04

  I fucking hate that movie.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  I love that movie.

• 1:40Speaker 04

  A movie, well, it was a good, as far as like a killer movie goes. You know, have I told you why this movie makes no sense? Spoiler alert for House the Jack built.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Oh, great.

• 1:52Speaker 04

  You know, all right, so he keeps all the bodies in a walk-in cooler?

• 1:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 04

  For 40 years? We expect that walk-in to fucking work?

• 2:01Speaker 01

  I don't need your fucking cheesesteak.

• 2:03Speaker 04

  I'll tell you what, there's no way that the cooler is gonna work for 40 years.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Nothing to do with the actual plot of the film, buddy.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  What are you talking about? It's the entire plot of the film.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  It's like a fake.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  The whole movie, the whole movie, he puts the bodies.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  What do you mean it's a fantasy? I'm sorry I even brought this up. Welcome to Side Stories.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  It doesn't work.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  I was trying to brag about my new swag.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  I appreciate the swag.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  I was trying to say I have a Melancholia shirt on. I have an Antichrist hat that I haven't worn yet.

• 2:30Speaker 04

  I'm scared to watch that movie.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Why?

• 2:32Speaker 04

  Cause it's a penis smashing. Chaos reigns. I like that part of it. I've seen that on a loop.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  The penis smashing part is truly one of my favorite moments in all of cinema.

• 2:43Speaker 04

  Really?

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that. I remember the first time I saw it, I was on so much cold medication. And that I was like, I'd smoked a ball, it was a bunch of cold medication. The whole time I'm watching Antichrist, he's going, fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah.

• 2:57Speaker 04

  So House the Jack built pants?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  It's just House of Jack built down the lake.

• 3:02Speaker 04

  Oh, okay. So stupid. Does he have his own merch store?

• 3:08Speaker 01

  I'm sitting here with Lars von Trier. I would say realist at Larson.

• 3:14Speaker 04

  I like Melancholia. I think that's a really good movie.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  You don't like any of his movies?

• 3:18Speaker 04

  I don't think I've seen any of the other ones.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Guess what? We're doing the movie stories.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  No, I don't wanna do it.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  I wanna do fucking Breaking the Waves with you.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  If we get a second season.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Oh, that's him?

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. I like Breaking the Waves.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  See, oh, wait, right? The one where the guy can't fuck.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  The Irish movie with Samantha Morton?

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, the where the guy can't fuck and then he has to go and she has to go and fuck outside the village.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  That's really, that's a really good movie.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, Lars von Trier, that one, there's also great. There's a bunch of movies we've never seen, just like Paul Verhoeven, and I'll bet they'll be just as delightful.

• 3:47Speaker 04

  I'm sure they'll be just as delightful, but I, back to the House the Jack built. There's no way the fucking walk-in cooler is gonna work for 40 years. It doesn't make any sense. I will say, I do trust HVAC guys to keep a secret.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  That's the one thing you do have to depend on.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  They will see bodies and be like, we didn't see nothing.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Nothing. Nothing, I saw nothing. So he's a Polish man. Nothing, I do not care, I've built more, I've made more bodies in my own time. In my own spare time, I've made more bodies than this.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  Getting very stinky in here, Jack.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Thank you. And I am Lars von Trier fantasist, Henry Zebrowski, and I understand some stories are bigger than facts. Yeah. All right, that's what this is about. So I'm sorry I opened like that. We're here, we're in New York.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Loving life.

• 4:34Speaker 04

  It's been nice. I haven't really done anything yet.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, I haven't really, I haven't smoked weed in the streets yet.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I already did that. I went and turned some tricks by Times Square.

• 4:43Speaker 04

  That's so nice.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  That was really nice. I met.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  I'm gonna open up my anus later, but I'm gonna take it to the West Village where it's needed.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  I threw a quarter in a ground zero?

• 4:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Just have fun. Just to make a wish, just to go like.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  This one's for Jerry.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  This one's for Larry? There's gotta be like nine.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Just pick a name.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's a bunch of Larrys in there.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  You know, I will say, while we're bringing it up, the list of names, no accents or N-Y's. They decided it wasn't necessary to put the people's correct name down. But I'll tell you what, maybe, you know, Gutierrez doesn't get its N-Y, but I'll tell you what.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Gutierrez wouldn't have an N-Y.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  I don't know which ones do.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  The ones with the ends in them.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  Gutierrez doesn't have an N?

• 5:30Speaker 04

  Goon Tieres, that's what it is.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, Goon Tieres. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know so many.

• 5:35Speaker 04

  But O'Reilly's got an apostrophe is my big complaint.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  I know, but it's because of all the Irish police.

• 5:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Just staring at that wall. Uh, come and see us over at Brooklyn. We're gonna be at October 9th at the Warsaw.

• 5:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, on Friday, two days from now, we're gonna be at the Warsaw. And then on Sunday, we're gonna be at the Webster Theater in Hartford. We're gonna have a fucking blast. Come and see us there. There's only a couple of tickets left. So don't sleep on this shit, cause they both are gonna sell out.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  It's great, completely improvised show. Lots of stuff to talk about.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  We got some guests at the Warsaw. Joyelle Johnson's gonna open for us.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, Joyelle, I can't fucking wait.

• 6:08Speaker 04

  It's gonna be a blast. And we also got another special New York guest.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  New York only guest.

• 6:14Speaker 04

  This is like, you couldn't even guess who the guest is. You're gonna love it. Come out to the show at the Warsaw. It's gonna be a fucking blast.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  All right, so let's do some of this horseshit. We got some updates. Number one, Caleb Flynn, our favorite low talent. What's his name? What's, not Harry, who's the king? Who's gonna be king?

• 6:32Speaker 04

  What do you mean? Oh, uh, the other one.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  The other one. What's his fucking name?

• 6:36Speaker 04

  Nick.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Who gives a shit, right?

• 6:38Speaker 04

  I don't care about their names.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Caleb Flynn, who looks like.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  Harry's the American, so I know his name.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  The new American. Yeah, yeah. Harry, Caleb Flynn, who's looking like the poor sad fuck who's attached to Kate Middleton, is sentenced to life in jail for murdering his wife. He cried.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Of course he cried.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Then when they show that, cause we've been playing his music.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  It's the only thing he could do.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  We're huge fans of his music here. We've been playing it all week. Love to do it. I love how much water it took for him to use AI to write a love song about his mistress.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  The song, I mean, it was really bad, but it's a lot better if you listen to it on Molly. You know, it really kinda brings it out. You can hear the love.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  You can really feel the love. But when they read the sentence, he bursts into tears.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Um, because that's his go-to. He really, he's a crier, just like also, R.I.P. Jim Baker.

• 7:34Speaker 04

  Woo, bye-bye, baby.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Televangelist, crybaby, got his fingers dirty inside of Jessica Hahn. Miss her. Where's Jessica Hahn? I know Jessica Hahn's around.

• 7:48Speaker 04

  I don't know where she would go. Maybe she's at that hotel that I never built.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, 67 years young. She used to be on Howard Stern quite, Howard Stern quite a bit, but.

• 7:57Speaker 04

  Oh, that's why you know.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, and so Jim Baker, who was famous, was the one that cried, who did the whole like, I have sinned.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Yes, he did.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Because when he was caught in that big thing, he's a big old crier, he's finally dead. And that's kinda nice.

• 8:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's good for these fake Jesus guys to go to nowhere.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  You know what's nice about them is that all they've ever wanted to do was die.

• 8:18Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  And so this is the most exciting part of their lives.

• 8:21Speaker 04

  Do you think you thought there was gonna be a heaven?

• 8:24Speaker 01

  No, you know, see pastors know for certain there isn't one.

• 8:27Speaker 04

  And that's why they're stealing everyone's money.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  That's why they do so much crime.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Cause they know it doesn't fucking matter, right? And there's no, there's no punishment for them. Doesn't matter, cause there's only one go around.

• 8:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  And you might as well get your fingers inside of Jessica Hahn now.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Too bad he couldn't use his penis. What do you think's wrong with it? No knuckle.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's what it is. He likes it to have a ring on it. And I think the problem with the cock ring is it's at the very, very bottom. And that's the thing, you don't get it in there. You really gotta, you really, he wants to feel it rush up against the pubic bone.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  Listen, all right, Caleb's fucking going to prison forever. Jim Baker's dead. The big one, Gypsy Rose's husband, Ken Erker. What happened? What's going on here?

• 9:11Speaker 01

  No idea, so.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  This is crazy.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  This is what we know so far. So those of you that are, that live under a fucking rock in the true crime world, Gypsy Rose Blanchard, an American lady. She was convicted of co-inspi, conspired to murder her mother with her former boyfriend. So she, with Nicholas Goddard John. Uh, she was infantilized by her mother, made famous by, you know, there was a television show about it. She essentially was, they, they believe it was Munchausen by proxy, which is now a different term, that her mother was using her for both social and economic benefit while posing that she was extremely mentally handicapped, sick, MS, cancer, bound to a wheelchair.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  It turned out all that was fake. Gypsy Rose Blanchard, in order to get out of this scenario, basically created a Finsta on Facebook, made her own separate little account, got out, met Nick Goddard John. He showed up, stabbed her mother to death, and then she went to jail for about seven years. Nick Goddard John, straight to life in prison.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  So he's cool in it in prison.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Gypsy Rose.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  So he didn't kill Ken Unker?

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Erker?

• 10:25Speaker 04

  Ken Erker. Ken Erker.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  See, it gets a little complicated because Nick Godjohn was her first boyfriend, right? They broke up because he killed her mother. Gypsy Rose Blanchard is then now in jail.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  But she paid him.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  No, she just, no, she paid him with titties.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought she like hired him as a hitman.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:49Speaker 04

  Oh, okay. Oh, no.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  I don't know the story too well.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  She doesn't know who George Washington is. You know what I mean? Like, she doesn't know, she doesn't know what numbers are.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  If you believe the story, right?

• 11:02Speaker 04

  So she loved this guy and then he killed the mom to save her life?

• 11:05Speaker 01

  She manipulated the man. She essentially admitted she manipulated a slow adult by the name of Nicholas Godjohn. Because that's the thing, man was also as, he was, let's just say, not the shiniest rock in the till.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  No, of course not.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  You know, so she convinced him to come help. He come, came help. She dropped him as soon as she didn't need him anymore.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Gypsy Rose Blanchard has now been in jail. She was in jail for like seven years. She gets out. So, we all have a lot of sympathy for Gypsy Rose.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  You're fast forwarding through a very important part. While in prison, she gets engaged to Ken Erker, dumps his fucking ass, gets engaged to another dude.

• 11:46Speaker 01

  There's Ryan, uh, I believe is Ryan Anderson?

• 11:50Speaker 04

  Something like that.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Right, so, yes, she played these two guys on and off of each other. So she played, so she got married right out of jail to Ryan Anderson.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Who is, um, the only really way to describe him is if he is if yogurt had a head.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  He is just-

• 12:09Speaker 04

  I thought Ken Erker was the ugly one.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  They're both ugly, Eddie. I mean, Ken Erker, I'm sorry, RIP.

• 12:16Speaker 04

  RIP, Ken.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  But he's, he's not-

• 12:19Speaker 04

  He ain't gonna hear this.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  He's half engaged to Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

• 12:23Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Okay, so he's not Ryan Seacrest.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, for sure.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  You know, so these guys, they go, she's playing these guys off of each other. Ryan Anderson is one where she has these series of calls with him where she's seducing him. She's also talking to Ken Erker. They're going back and forth, but now we know several days ago Ken Erker was found dead.

• 12:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. You, you, so you think Ryan Seacrest is like the hottest a man could be?

• 12:50Speaker 01

  I'm just saying.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, he's objectively-

• 12:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Very well put together.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  You think so?

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Well, he's, he's six year old, still a twink. If you're sixty, he's something like that. If you're sixty and still a twink, that means-

• 13:05Speaker 04

  I mean, it's impressive.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  That's pretty crazy. That's like Alan Cumming level.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  You know, like-

• 13:10Speaker 04

  But you have to have that last name in order to really pull that off.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Very much so, because what's this, um, uh, yesterday, as I was walking around, I went to a liquor store where an older man was explaining to the woman about how he's sick of big cocks. He just wants a guy with money. And I think that Ryan Seacrest really hits it right down the middle.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  And I was trying to explain to him. I was trying to explain to him, next thing we know, that's where I was talking about turning tricks. I was doing a lot of stuff. It's been a long two days in New York.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Hey, man, you're new man, I could tell.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel great.

• 13:41Speaker 04

  Full Von Trier.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  I'm Von Trier, baby. I'm ready to go.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  God, he would be great at the Gypsy Rose movie.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, with, oh, Samantha Morton.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  As Gypsy Rose-

• 13:53Speaker 01

  From Breaking the Waves.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  As Gypsy Rose Blanchard? Holy fucking shit.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  That's pretty great.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Where's her phone number?

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Six, six, six, six, nine, six, nine?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  So, I, um, that's amazing. So she's, all right, let's go back to Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

• 14:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  So Ken Erker is found dead. So we know that he, it was his birthday, thirty-four years young.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Um, he, he definitely lived a hard thirty-four years. He also seduced a woman on, on fucking prison and death, in, in jail for murdering her mother, so-

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Let's just say it takes a type. So he was, it seems they were out for partying, they, something happened, right?

• 14:36Speaker 04

  They'd recently broken up?

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Apparently.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  Separated.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  All of this stuff is, all of that is, is literal gossip portion. That's where we'll start to enter into the page seven-

• 14:48Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  -world, because it's all like, it's very unclear what the timelines are. But what is clear is that within an hour of Ken Erker being found dead, Gypsy Rose Blanchard hit up TMZ to basically create some narrative, like she's Hillary Clinton, to say, hey, you know, oh, he died of an overdose. I loved him so much. She had shut down all of her social media up until the day-

• 15:14Speaker 04

  And no one knows the cause of the death.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Nobody knows. It still is not official. There's no toxicology report, there's no, they haven't done the autopsy yet.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  They found the bottle of pills next to him.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, stuff that you could put next to somebody. They also said that they found a syringe and that there was a paper towel that had marks with blood on it.

• 15:31Speaker 04

  But he wasn't known to use drugs.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Not necessarily, but in prison calls, which we'll get into, it seems that this is all very murky. So, these details, no one quite knows how even Gypsy Rose Blanchard knew those details. But she also went immediately on a press tour to say, oh my God, I can't believe we, and so she turned on all of her social media for the first time in years.

• 15:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  She turned them all on to do these like slide shows. And she had a very definitive story, and then now she's doing this, what is it? This Ken's Law that she's trying to get made, right? So the same day, she put a-

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Immediately?

• 16:10Speaker 01

  She put a change.org petition up to make a law, a new law about habitual cyberbullying.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  That's Melania's cause.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  I know, no. Oh, my God, what is Melania gonna do?

• 16:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, she can't take Melania's bullshit.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  I will have to go back to teaching girls how to suck the dick of the president. I will have to teach them how to suck their way to Iran. Yeah, right, yeah, who knows? She, she has so many opportunities. Melania is looking great.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  Is she?

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Sucking the life out of him.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  Still, yeah, man, that's still Barbara Bush for me, all the way.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  Turn her inside out.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  Rosa Parks, Barbara Bush, Sally Field.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, if-

• 16:56Speaker 01

  I, Joanne Fabrics is very lucky it closed. Cause that must have been your fucking stomping grounds, dude.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Just kinda hang out.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  Did you-

• 17:04Speaker 04

  Pretend to be a mannequin.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Did you cover yourself in yarn and hopefully they took you home?

• 17:08Speaker 04

  Unspool me. Yes, Barbara, I like all Barbres.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Well, lucky Barbara, so hopefully you're coming to Hartford.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  But see, so, all of this is to say, like, so first, highly unusual.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  Right? Why is this happening? Why did Ken Erker die? We don't know. So for a while, the one thing I, I didn't really wanna get into, because like, I was trying, truly, trying to give Gypsy Rose Blanchard the benefit of the doubt.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  I was hoping for the best for her, to be honest with you.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  I actually love that she's doing, maybe doing crimes again, cause it's great for us.

• 17:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  But for society, I was hoping that she would lay low, walk away, just do some stuff, fun, just end up on Dancing with the Stars, end up as in the House of Representatives.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  She was being great on Dancing with the Stars.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  She would have been awesome. Her, once Lauren Boebert's out of there, Gypsy Rose Blanchard, Lauren Boebert, that's the view. We need the, Gypsy Rose Blanchard, Lauren Boebert, Hillary Clinton, and we're gonna bring her back in, um, and then Terry Hatcher.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  Terry Hatcher.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Good new side person in there. That's the new view.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  So they, so all of this is, so for a while, because I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, I didn't wanna get into what is currently happening on the Youtubes, which is a very deep dive into all of the prison calls that have been done, but to buy Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Which is fascinating, that you can even get them, right? So, which is hilarious, you kinda listen to her talk-

• 18:47Speaker 04

  I don't know why people even like spill the beans on those.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Because they're fucking stupid, Eddie.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  You're right, I'm sorry.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Because, you're right, cause the problem is that, what have we discovered a lot about criminals? Is that very rarely are you a criminal with all of your mental faculties.

• 19:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause you're desperate and you make a bad decision.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  That, lack of impulse control, uh, various antisocial problems that don't allow you to see the literal sense of certain scenarios.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're stupid.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, lack of empathy also is a big, huge thing, like literally lack of emotional intelligence is a massive issue, right? So, these morons didn't really comprehend every single thing that they said in these prison phone calls, and not only were recorded, but you can get it through a FOIA request. So, it's all out, and what you see is, at first, it's very snarky, because it's a lot of like, yes, Gypsy Rose Blanchard is, I'm gonna say this right now, a ratchet ass bitch.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Whoa, Henry.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Sorry.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  But she is-

• 19:50Speaker 04

  The large frontreer is really coming out on you.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  It's really coming through me. Cause the way she speaks, right? She is, um, like, there's a whole phone call, them, her and Ryan Anderson, very racistly attacking the new Ariel, the mermaid.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  There's a whole thing about how, oh, yeah, buddy, they're incit, Gypsy Rose Blanchard was not into the casting.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  You know, I always heard people like mention how much they hated that, but I never actually heard anyone complain about it.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  I can't even play the call.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Because of how many N-words they use.

• 20:23Speaker 04

  What, Gypsy?

• 20:24Speaker 01

  I know. You think that little face? That little face, her little, her little chew weenie face? Her little cute little like, ooh, she's just, ooh. No, she's a fucking virulent racist.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  So few people's head is smaller than their neck.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  She is amazing. It's crazy how she figured out how to gluck, gluck like that.

• 20:44Speaker 04

  Oh, maybe her neck's so wide, cause it helps her swallow all of her own bullshit.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  Gosh, I mean, something happens. So she, so that's just one layer, right? Then just the casual talking about all the violence thing. One of the funnier quotes she has to Ryan, so what they like to do is, they would have, oh, I also listened to two different phone sex conversations.

• 21:07Speaker 04

  Oh, okay, that was my next question, is like, can you have phone sex in, in prison?

• 21:12Speaker 01

  I wouldn't advise it, because we can all hear it. And I heard it.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  And you hear-

• 21:17Speaker 04

  Are we not playing those? Cause I definitely, I'm, I'm morbidly interested.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  I will find the clips, but I don't wanna play those, cause you hear Ryan Anderson and her comment them.

• 21:26Speaker 04

  Really?

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:28Speaker 04

  Is that allowed on Netflix?

• 21:30Speaker 01

  I don't know, man.

• 21:31Speaker 04

  Can we ask? Who do we-

• 21:32Speaker 01

  Netflix, are we allowed to play fucking convicted murderer, have an orgasm on this or not?

• 21:36Speaker 04

  It's audio only, audio only.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  I wanna get the email first to know that that's okay, and then we'll play it next week.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  So there's that, right? There's also just her random-

• 21:47Speaker 04

  I heard it's Ted Sarandos' ringtone.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Actually, we don't need to play it.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, you come on your B bitch. Yeah, you come, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, I'm entering you.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  He sounds like a butler accidentally scared by a ghost. When he comes, "Ho, ho, ho, master." So, that's just a little, but that's just not it. She starts to do this thing, she says this stuff to him. So Ryan and her are going back and forth about like, he's got other chicks, right?

• 22:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, she's in prison.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, so he kinda talks about-

• 22:26Speaker 04

  Of course he's got other chicks.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, you saw him. Yeah, they're lining up. Women are fucking sad and broken. Women are sad and broken. So, he has several girls on the line. They're all like, you know, and he's kinda talking to her about them. And at some point, she's like, "You know that's bitches? That fucking get it baby in them to trap a man? I'm those bitches."

• 22:49Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  You know those bitches? That go and stalk their boyfriends, new girlfriends? And make sure that they know that they're on their fucking hit list? I'm those bitches.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  What?

• 22:59Speaker 01

  That's, well, that's a statement, right? That's not even the worst statement. I'm playing, I'm gonna play the worst one. So-

• 23:04Speaker 04

  I'm blown away that these exist.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  And it's all with it, not with Ken. This is all with Ryan.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  Everybody.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Oh, everybody.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Ken, and there's so many, she's talking to both of them. She's talking to other dudes. She's got like a lot of games going on. There is a YouTube channel just called Gypsy Rose Prison Calls.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  A hundred files, each one two hours long.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  She should not be this popular.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Uh, I, you know, we're helping. Which is what we do here, we help. And so, she, this, this call though, is an exact example of like, so for a while, again, I didn't wanna get into this until I heard this call, and then I was like, oh, she might actually be quite the serious villain.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  Okay, well, let's hear this.

• 23:48Speaker 01

  So this is a, uh, she is on a call, uh, she is threatening to another person. She's talking about Ryan, and in the, can set this all up. She is texting, she is talking about how Ryan and her are getting into these fights because Ryan wants to control her. Right? She's in prison. She's very controlled.

• 24:10Speaker 04

  You couldn't be more controlled.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  She's way controlled. And so, she's in prison, but it doesn't matter, right? So she intimates something along the lines of like, "Things happen to people that try to control me." This is the, this is the state, but this is Gypsy Rose.

• 24:26Speaker 05

  I don't want you to talk to this person. It's your guilt tripping me by, oh, I, I just feel like, I'm, I'm so scared to lose you. Yeah, my mom did that, and I'm here for her murder, so is that how you wanna end up?

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Literally just said, "People who try to control me get murdered."

• 24:46Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Do you wanna get murdered? So she is-

• 24:50Speaker 04

  Who was she talking to?

• 24:51Speaker 01

  To her other friend.

• 24:53Speaker 04

  Just like another person?

• 24:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 24:54Speaker 04

  How does she have so many friends?

• 24:56Speaker 01

  She's got all day.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  You be, honestly, I don't even know how to keep up with the friends I have.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  She must be funny.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  She has a Deadpool's my favorite movie sense of humor.

• 25:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  She has a, literally, what's his name? Ryan, the guy that gives us money? She is Ryan Reynolds' number one fan.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  Well, no, she watches Deadpool for only TJ Miller.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Oh, yes. Who doesn't? So, uh, yeah, I, uh, we have no conclusive end to this. Because we don't know where this is gonna go. Uh, we know that there's a lot of snark shooting around because of the, her family and Ken Erker's family.

• 25:43Speaker 04

  Well, Ken Erker's family invited her to the funeral.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Why?

• 25:48Speaker 04

  I don't know, they openly, they, that was the news today.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  But then, his sister-

• 25:51Speaker 04

  His sister hates the shit out of her.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Yes, her sister fucking hates-

• 25:54Speaker 04

  But the mom's like, "Come to the funeral."

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Pardon me, I would say.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  But Gypsy Rose is gonna do her own funeral in Tennessee, after she goes to the one in Texas.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  That's not a, that's not a thing. You don't just throw your own fucking funeral.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  What's her husband?

• 26:08Speaker 01

  No, wasn't ever her husband.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  They weren't married?

• 26:10Speaker 01

  No, they were, they were fake engaged.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  She was, no, that's why all of this is like Facebook trailer trash horseshit set on fire.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  Right, this is, this is full on Facebook nonsensory, but played out in the true crime world.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  Did you see the weird shit with Ken Erker? How like two days ago, he had a bunch of like weird TikTok lives that were just him in the dark?

• 26:34Speaker 01

  There was some, because they were saying that he had went on TikTok Live and then he had put the phone back in his pocket while it was still going.

• 26:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, do you think he was like trying to record somebody or something? Or is he just like bad at technology?

• 26:44Speaker 01

  I, Eddie, I don't know if-

• 26:47Speaker 04

  It's weird that it happened day before he died.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Well, the problem is that all of these things are extremely suspicious because of the fact that he's dead.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  So now that he's dead, at first, you can just be like, uh, uh, uh.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  He's got fat fingers, you know what he do?

• 27:02Speaker 01

  He does have fat fingers.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:04Speaker 01

  He's got a big fucking, unfortunately, he's got a head that looks like a pear.

• 27:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Right, and that's not his fault, that's God's fault.

• 27:11Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  Right, God gave him that head, God gave him the penis that chose Gypsy Rose Blanchard. And that penis might have gotten him fucking killed. Because she also broke into his house. Did you see all the stuff where she flipped out and trashed all his stuff?

• 27:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, she snuck in through the window or something?

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, she snuck in through the window, she wrote a whore on the word, on, on his headboard. She carved a word whore into his headboard because she found an old card he had kept from his ex-relationship. Dude, I'm no-

• 27:42Speaker 04

  Just cuz he's bad at throwing shit out?

• 27:43Speaker 01

  I legitimately know more about Gypsy Rose Blanchard's love life than I know about my family.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  That's not hard.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  At this point. My wife is more mysterious than Gypsy Rose Blanchard's love life.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  So, Erker, I mean, but there is a chance that they, she's saying that cuz of cyberbullying, he took his own life.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Shit's what she's intimating.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  I think that that's horseshit. Because the reason why she's saying is that he was under so much stress because all these prison calls were coming out. Where he was saying super racist shit and doing phone sex-

• 28:17Speaker 04

  Both of them. Both of them. Yeah, well, yeah, if you're gonna woo Gypsy Rose.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  You gotta know the base.

• 28:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you better bring that fucking hate. So is she like a suspect? Is she allowed to leave the country? If I was Gypsy Rose, I'd be fucking-

• 28:35Speaker 01

  There ain't nothing, she jumped on the head of the, she, I don't even know if she could make her way around Stockholm, okay?

• 28:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  I don't know if she can do it in Stockholm, I don't know if she'd like Stockholm.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  I don't think, I don't think she'd like it. I think she needs to go to, she needs to be in Tennessee.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's, that's a great place for her.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  She might need to be in prison, but that is, we'll find out. Because right now, who knows? Right now, it is all just conjecture, it could all be horrible, horrible drama. That comes from your life being attached to drama, and it's a whole thing, so who knows?

• 29:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, man. All I know is on, on the TMZ, they, uh, there's a picture of them at Nobu. And the Nobu chef died also.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Mr. Nobu?

• 29:14Speaker 04

  No, not Mr. Nobu.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Frank Nobu? Is that him? Is it just a guy named Nobu?

• 29:20Speaker 04

  Nob, uh, no, um, it was a, uh, it was, it was, he was a great chef, obviously, you're at Nobu, you know, but he, he died-

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Nobu, all applause.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  He died, leaving Nobu, unfortunately, Ryu Uchima. Uchima, yeah, Uchimia. He, he died, unfortunately, so shout out.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Did he fall down like a sewer grate or?

• 29:37Speaker 04

  No, he got hit by a car outside of Nobu. Some drunk, some composer's son apparently hit him with a car in Malibu outside of Nobu.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Another fucking no talent nepo baby taking down the established industry.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  That's what I'm talking about, dude. Fuck this kid, man. You can't be killing our chefs.

• 29:54Speaker 01

  Don't kill my chefs.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  I love my chefs.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  You leave my chefs alone. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right, you don't have to smash your face for the hammer. You can just start a business. It's got everything you need on Squarespace, from securing your domain to building a professional site and showcasing your work all in one place. Let's say you wanna show everybody how you can carve your ribs out of your lower abdomen so that you look more like a Ken doll. That's amazing. You can bring your vision to life with AI-powered design or curated templates. Plus flexible editing tools that help you create something that truly reflects your style. Especially if you are somebody that is trying to corrupt the young men of America.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  That's what Squarespace is really gonna help you. Squarespace makes it easy. It makes it easy for you to put all it together, and you just go to Squarespace and do it all. Thanks, Brayden. Head to Squarespace.com/left for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code LEFT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Truly, some of the best things our government can do is make another holiday. And it's so nice when they put up something like World Mental Health Day to remind us all that we should be taking care of our mental health. Because definitely, I think the government is helping us all. I think the government is really helping our mental health. And I think that them putting the focus on mental health, does it not give you a sigh of relief? Finally, the government cares?

• 31:35Speaker 01

  But I don't think that people should focus on a certain date to care for their mental health. I think that it should be every day and all year round. That you take time to celebrate your mental diseases with BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms, having served millions of people globally. Alright, some people, therapy can only be one way to support their mental well-being. Remember, therapy isn't just for big life choices either. Alright, it can be a place to talk about relationship problems, work issues, or simply the sense that something feels off. You might be haunted or possessed, but let a BetterHelp therapist tell you that. BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Plus, BetterHelp makes it easy to fit therapy into your routine with flexible ways to connect that work for different schedules and lifestyles. Your mental health doesn't need a special occasion or anyone else's permission to matter. BetterHelp can connect you with a therapist who gets you, so you can make space for what matters to you. Visit betterhelp.com/lastpod to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash last pod.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  For kids, summer means freedom. And as adults, summer still means freedom, thanks to Mint Mobile's summer sale. Right now, all of Mint's plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. Free yourself from big wireless and switch to Mint for high-speed data and coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. Straight up, Mint's gonna save you money. It does every month. Mint Mobile has all of the perks of all of the major other telephone providers, but this is the one that's actually saving you the dimes you need in order to really put them where they belong, which is, I guess, at the gas station. So Mint Mobile's gonna help you pay for the one gallon of gas that you need.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  Alright, but you will. And thanks to Mint, because at least Mint Mobile cares about your wallet. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/lpots. That's mintmobile.com/lpots. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/lpots. That's it, there's no cash. Upper payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, and $180 for 12 months. Plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50GB may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20GB hotspot. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

• 34:16Speaker 04

  Live from Northridge.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  Well, yeah.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Did you bring that up to go into your favorite story of the week?

• 34:24Speaker 04

  I mean, my favorite story of the week is by far, some shit went down. It's cheesesteak news.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  You just, I just take, go into it right now, because you wanted to talk about this. I feel like this is big news for you specifically. This is a, this is not a huge story, but...

• 34:41Speaker 04

  No, but no, I hear, okay, so I'm actually in, oddly enough, I need this to develop a little more. I need some more, please. If you guys, anyone in Philadelphia who listens to the show, do they listen to podcasts in Philadelphia?

• 34:53Speaker 01

  I think mostly they fight their mothers and the police.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, because they just punch their phone until we come on, is that what happens?

• 34:59Speaker 01

  I believe so, yeah.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  But, um, the, uh, but the manager at Pat's King of Steaks has been assaulted by a cheesesteak.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  Do you think it's due to lack of salt?

• 35:14Speaker 04

  So there was a customer who was mad about his cheesesteak. He said he opened it up and he said, "The steak's garbage." And he threw the cheesesteak at the manager of Pat's in Philadelphia. And then the Pat's in Philadelphia basically put the hit out on this guy. He basically said...

• 35:32Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do, they're gonna dose his blood pressure medication?

• 35:37Speaker 04

  He said he insult, he assaulted my employee, so we'll see how many friends he's got online and are really friends. See who's gonna turn him in. The power of the camera and AI, we're gonna find him. We're gonna find him, $5,000. We'll put him out of whatever rock he's living under right now. That's what the manager of Pat's... This is like, you cannot, it does not matter who you are to the people of Philadelphia. You cannot, you can't put a hit out on somebody. Also, I gotta say, times have changed. Cheesesteak employees are told, customer gets out of line, you beat the shit out of them.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  I mean, that is, it's still just a...

• 36:16Speaker 04

  I'm saying that like, Pat's is getting soft, in my opinion.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  This is my question.

• 36:21Speaker 04

  This shit ain't going down at Jim's.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Is this not, let's just say, like, I, I'm, I feel like I'm wading into horrific waters right now. I mean, worse than with Lindsay Clancy.

• 36:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  Is it due to the decline of Pat's? Like, is it because this, was the customer correct? Because I could see how you wait online for 45 minutes to get your, because this is one of those, right? It's like the other spot where you gotta wait out the door.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  If it's not perfect, you're waiting at Pat's in the fucking cold. It was a nor'easter last week.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  You know, you're getting pissed on, it's Philadelphia.

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  Guys bleeding on you, you know what I mean?

• 37:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're just like...

• 37:00Speaker 01

  You're puking on yourself, then some other guy pukes on you because you puked on yourself.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  You watching LeBron helicopter back and forth from Philly to New York because it refuses to live in your city? That's bullshit, by the way. That's fucking horseshit. He knew Kobe Bryant personally.

• 37:15Speaker 01

  He fucking, he's taking a helicopter twice a day.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  There's a nor'easter coming, the weather's never been this bad.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Just did not live in Philadelphia. He's taken the most deadly form of travel. That is unbelievable. He won't even live in like, a suburb.

• 37:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's so many nice places to go.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  So many nice places, Philly's nice.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's areas.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  But, um, yeah, no, I'm just saying, like, Pat's, obviously, across the streets, Gino's, they're the competing, the famous competing cheesesteak places.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  But is it possible that that person is correct?

• 37:51Speaker 04

  I think that there is a chance.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Because I know...

• 37:53Speaker 04

  I'm gonna have to say there is a chance.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Pat, who we work with, he was saying, he equates it to the fall of Pat's.

• 38:01Speaker 04

  I mean, I think there's, I, I, there's a good, I've never eaten Pat's.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  I've never eaten Pat's.

• 38:06Speaker 04

  I've had Gino's and I've had Jim's.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  See, I've had Jim's, I like better than Gino's.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  Jim's is the best one.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Of the tourist-trappy ones, and everyone's gonna fight us, it doesn't matter.

• 38:14Speaker 04

  Oh, it doesn't matter. I mean, I worked in the business for long enough, I can say whatever the fuck I want.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  What is the distinct difference between a good and bad cheesesteak?

• 38:22Speaker 04

  The bread.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  Is that it?

• 38:24Speaker 04

  And the, and you gotta make sure it's good ribeye.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Sometimes, I think that's what it is. I think that they skimp on the meat sometimes, and sometimes the meat gets dry.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, yeah, if they have it cooking all goddamn day, some people just keep it on the side of the grill.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  That's the thing, if the meat gets dry, I feel like we're losing some of this. And just giving it the cheese sauce is not gonna give it the proper moisture that you want. I want the liquidity.

• 38:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, see, we had the flat top, and then we would pre-cook a lot of the meat, like halfway, and then we'd stick, we let it cool.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Like par-cook or whatever?

• 38:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, par-cook, and we let it cool, and then we stick it in the freezer. And then you, when you need it, you take it out, you put it on top of a bowl, uh, boiling water, and then you let it slowly get ready, and then you take out the meat, and yeah, you're getting ready for it. You take out the meat, you put it on the grill with the onions, the peppers and shit, and stuff. But the thing is...

• 39:05Speaker 01

  I don't like peppers in it.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  We don't have to. You asked, that's on, that's by request.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  I don't like peppers in it.

• 39:10Speaker 04

  You don't get the peppers. All I'm saying is...

• 39:13Speaker 01

  I like the onions.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  These, Pat's is getting soft. They didn't take this guy out in the moment, and I think that's fucking crazy.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  They should've shot him in the head right there.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  I think that they...

• 39:22Speaker 01

  They should've pulled out a snub-nose revolver and should've stuck it in his mouth and said like, "You told me this is bad, you told me this is the bad cheesesteak."

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Well, I'm saying, you hit him with the spatula.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:33Speaker 04

  You hit him with your spatula slap him.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  I feel like, why, where are the nonas in this?

• 39:37Speaker 04

  Well, there's no known as a cheese steak. It's all dudes.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  It's all big fat men, right?

• 39:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, you gotta yell at the people. That's one of the things, that's why I loved working at 99 miles of Philly, R.I.P.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  What's there now?

• 39:47Speaker 04

  Uh, oh, it was just some weird, uh, I didn't even know what it was. I walked by it today. It was, uh, sad.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  That's sad. That makes me angry. Yeah.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  Well, rent went too high. Too damn high. Rent's too goddamn high. It was, they said, they, 99 miles of Philly, didn't close because of bad business. It closed because the rent went too high and you can't charge $25 for a cheese steak.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, New York gave, New York gave up on itself.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  That's what happened. That's what happened here. And that's okay. But we used to get the Amoroso rolls in, so we were legit.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  You were.

• 40:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I will say.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  I used to eat there once a week.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  Oh, more than that?

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Well, I tried to.

• 40:21Speaker 04

  Free sandwiches.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  I was trying to cut down. And then, um, but then Holden couldn't eat it because it made his hands itchy.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He always got the whiz.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  Isn't that weird? He did that thing where he had that whole thing period of time where he said his hands got itchy every single time?

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Holden's been dying for 30 years.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  How is he still alive?

• 40:37Speaker 04

  I don't know. I don't know, but.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Well, hopefully working for Wheel of Fortune.

• 40:39Speaker 04

  All I'm saying is the staff at Pats should have beat the shit out of this guy on the spot. That's all I'm saying.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  I actually completely agree with you.

• 40:48Speaker 04

  Put out a hit on the guy, let someone else do your business for you. Pats is getting soft. I'm officially never gonna eat there 'cause Lord knows I'm not allowed anymore.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no. You now, you're right next to him. You're right next to him.

• 41:00Speaker 04

  I love gyms. I'm a gyms man.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Side stories, L.P.O.T.L. at gmail dot com. Where should we be going? It's always that. It's always just, there's always some other place.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Uh, there's all, there, you know what it is? They're all good. But I know gyms is great, and so I go to gyms.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  You're right. Good work. All right. This story, this is a more important story that I wanted to talk about real quick. Uh, Krista Pike.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Oh, God, I hate this, every part of this story.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  We covered this slightly when this first came up, because there's been very few women murdered by the state.

• 41:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  I believe it's only, like, almost even 20 all told have only ever been.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  And three of them are Riley and Wernos.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, because it's just her personalities. How many women executed in U.S.? It's really not that many. It's like, yeah, uh, yeah, let's see, 576 since 1632. 18 women have been executed in the U.S. since the reinstatement of capital punishment in 1976.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  1632?

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you're taking it all the way back.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  That's crazy. If we gotta go back all that, they were killing witches.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  That counts the witches, I think. And it counts all the witches. So this is the, it's 18 women have been actually executed. So Krista Pike was on death row for the murder of a young woman. Uh, they.

• 42:23Speaker 04

  So she was 19 when she committed the murder, which seems like it's really young to get the death sentence.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  So we are anti-death sentence here. We, uh, we all completely agree. We're all anti-death sentence. I think that you should just, I think you should just rot in jail, to be frank, if you're gonna do a handish crime.

• 42:37Speaker 04

  It's the worst thing.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  There's ways, so, and I also think, truly, that, you know, even murder, there's a way to sort of out of, to get out of it. To recoup yourself, to, to find your way in this life, find a purpose, you know?

• 42:50Speaker 04

  At least until we get Running Man.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  And then, that's for us. Then we get to have fun. So Krista Pike, um, her and her boyfriend, they tortured a 19-year-old girl by the name of Colleen Slammer. Uh, they brought her out to a wooded area. They, they slashed, they cut her up, they carved a pentagram into her chest, and they crushed her head with a rock. So they did, it's really fucked up story, right? So Krista, Krista Pike ends up getting the book thrown at her. Yeah, dude. She gets the book thrown at her. She gets, uh, death, she gets put on death row. She is, make no mistake, Krista Pike is a fucking bitch you do not want to fuck with, okay? She is intense.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  She looks tough.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  She is very, very tough. She now, it's because she's been in jail since she's 19 years old. She attempted to kill another roommate, uh, another inmate who was her roommate.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Were they also on death row?

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Yes, um, because apparently it was a retaliatory measure. She was sticking up for another murderer on death row because once you're in the drama, you gotta do all the stuff. You, once you're on the.

• 43:53Speaker 04

  I mean, if you're already sentenced to death.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  It's not, you know, but she tried to strangle a woman to death with shoelaces.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Came up from behind her as she was being transferred between cells, fucking tried to strangle with shoelaces and they beat her with a bunch of batons. Then she also, uh, tried to escape several times. So like Krista Pike ain't no angel, but.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  Certainly not.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  Does not deserve, we don't believe in execution, but her thin ass veins saved her life.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Kind of.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  So would they, no, no, it didn't actually. She's, she's, uh, brain dead right now. But so they tried to do the, there was a stay of execution. Big ol', big ol' primetime deal. It was held, held back up, then finally they're like, all right, we're going with her. We're gonna do the lethal injections. She goes, they stick the needles in. She's saying, I can't, I can feel, I can feel like.

• 44:45Speaker 04

  Cause my arm feels like it's gonna explode.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what she said. And they'd shoot her twice with the hot shot. And she lives. Up until this point, her people, like her lawyer and stuff have been saying, you know, she has these, I guess it's some kind of, uh.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  She has thin veins.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  She has thin veins.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, and they've been warning the state, because leading up to this execution, I don't know if you saw, but it was all up in the news, like, this is gonna be fucked up. Like, they were, everyone was like, this execution's gonna be fucked up. It's, she's like, shouldn't be executed.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  Blood clotting disorder, is what they said.

• 45:19Speaker 04

  Everyone's like, this is gonna be sad. This is gonna be crazy. And then it fucking was.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Well, that's what, and Krista Pike said, like, fine, then don't fucking hang me.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  And they said, I guess, no, they said they denied their request because hanging is not an improved execution method? And the death chamber is not equipped for it? I mean, all you need is a, a rafter.

• 45:41Speaker 04

  But it's not legal.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  No, of course not. And also, she wanted to go, originally, she was there for firing squad.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  But they don't do that in Tennessee, I don't think.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  They also stopped doing the firing squad. So she was like, I don't, cause like, a botched lethal injection is, what we have now found out to be from several people, extremely painful.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Of course it is. So a regular lethal injection's probably painful.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  But it's just wild to think that she fucking, she lived. And so now they're supposed to, I think technically the way it works. Cause the way it worked back in the day.

• 46:14Speaker 04

  They also used a different vein. And they weren't, that they weren't supposed to.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they were like, ah, we shouldn't use this vein, but let's do it anyway.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd be like, at that point, just put it in my fucking neck.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:24Speaker 01

  Just put it in my neck. Get it in me if we're doing this.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  Well, why would they do, you know, here's the thing, is, there's, it's so deeper than this, the, the drugs that they use are hard to find. No one's really making them anymore. Sometimes they're, they're not being made by actual drug companies.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Of course not.

• 46:41Speaker 04

  They're buying them from like secondhand places.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Because they can't.

• 46:44Speaker 04

  John Oliver had a big expose on it.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's because of the Hippocratic oath. Because a doctor that would know how to properly do these things is not allowed to do these things.

• 46:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Because we, the state shouldn't be killing anybody.

• 46:56Speaker 04

  No. But also, it's just like, why would you do it like this? If you know it's not gonna work? You put it off and then you make the firing squad legal, if that's what you have to do. Firing squad, you just shoot people and they're dead.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  Man, this is kinda crazy. Like, this is really, really crazy, just like looking at the way she was reacting. Where she was like laughing and saying, you guys can't, like, this isn't killing me. She also refused the last meal. Which, to be honest, that's a waste.

• 47:27Speaker 04

  Well, yeah. At least give it to someone else.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  No, man, get that meal, dude.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Get anything you want, dude.

• 47:33Speaker 04

  I mean, well, I mean, she's in the middle of nowhere. It's not like there's good food in the fucking middle of nowhere in Tennessee.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  You know what you mean to tell me? You couldn't get some good ass, hot fish?

• 47:43Speaker 04

  I mean, honestly, if they were gonna kill me.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  You know I love hot fried fish.

• 47:46Speaker 04

  I know, well, the last time it made you sick.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:49Speaker 04

  It made you real sick. You weren't ready for it. Where did we go?

• 47:53Speaker 01

  I forget where that shack was. That was like.

• 47:55Speaker 04

  It was there. It was next to a Thai restaurant.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Was that in Raleigh?

• 47:58Speaker 04

  No, no, no, that was in Nashville.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  No, it was Nashville.

• 48:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was Nashville.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it made me sick, but I liked it.

• 48:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was, it was good. But see, that's what I would get. I would get something that would just make me fucking shit explosively the moment I die.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Oh my God, yeah, I would be a fucking blunderbuss of diarrhea.

• 48:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, though that would be, that's the way to go.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Of course. No, you're cleaning up my shit.

• 48:19Speaker 04

  I want my shit stink to go through the viewing window.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want it to splatter against the window so that my, the family of my aggrieved, the people that I did the crime to can just see how brown my dookie is.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  Oh my God. And that was the other thing, is like, the, the woman they killed, or the, the girl essentially that they killed, their family was there.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:41Speaker 04

  Watching the whole fucking thing.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they, and they weren't super jazzed about it, that's for certain.

• 48:45Speaker 04

  No.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  This is like, this is not good for anybody. Nobody likes it. I feel like, yes, there's some people that receive, like, this idea of, like, there's closure. But, you know, you know how I truly feel, in my, in a very serious note, is that I think that closure doesn't exist.

• 49:00Speaker 04

  You're always, you're, that, your daughter is always gonna be dead.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  I think that unfortunately you have to figure this out, and that you seeing somebody get executed by the state is not gonna magically make you feel better.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  No, it makes you a worse person.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  I don't know. I actually don't. I just think it's, it just hurts all around. It just hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, all the way down.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  The fucking pipe.

• 49:19Speaker 04

  Watching someone get killed ain't gonna make you better. Period.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Unless, of course, you're serving in Vietnam.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. And you gotta get your buddy out of the fucking muck. You shot him in the head. I'm fucking coming back here on vacation and I'm gonna ruin it for all of you. I got something for you.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 49:42Speaker 04

  Vietnam cash.

• 49:43Speaker 01

  Whoa, $100,000.

• 49:45Speaker 04

  That's right, man.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Wow, I could buy anything I want here.

• 49:48Speaker 04

  That gets you like part of a barbie.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  So this isn't a lot of money.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  No, from what I hear, it's like three bucks American.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Fuck, yeah. Cool. Where'd you get it?

• 49:59Speaker 04

  Someone gave it to me at my Denver show, which was great. It was awesome. They're like, here you go, here's some cash from Vietnam. I was like, well, I, you know, I do accept American if you are buying merch, you know, but.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Well, that's great.

• 50:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, so that, now you can have it.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 50:13Speaker 04

  I think you'd love it.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  I do.

• 50:15Speaker 04

  But, um, I, uh, I feel really bad for this whole situation. Uh, Krista Pike, I mean, obviously she's a nightmare of a human being, but.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  She don't deserve this. Well, I mean, uh, I will just say, no one. deserves to be murdered by the state. I just think that that's not, it should not be in the right of the federal government to kill you.

• 50:31Speaker 04

  It's just so ironic that you're trying to kill somebody and then you have to rush them to the hospital and put them on a ventilator.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  It's, it also.

• 50:40Speaker 04

  Why not let her die?

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Because it's all, um, because it's, cause the way she's gonna die ain't gonna be pretty.

• 50:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  She's going into full organ shutdown and not in the controlled way that it's supposed to be done.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  So now they're trying to save her life to try and kill her again?

• 50:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I think at this point, you gotta where she's there, hit her with an ax.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  I mean, there's like.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Rock and roller to death?

• 51:05Speaker 04

  I'm just even like, oh yeah. Oh my God, it's Youngblood.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Youngblood gets it. This would be a great use for Youngblood.

• 51:13Speaker 04

  It really was.

• 51:14Speaker 01

  Just him going like, I like to rock. I hope you like to rock too. I hope you like to rock. Let's rock. Everybody rock. I've got a 14 inch waist. Look at my little waist. I've got Keery Knightley's belly button. Doesn't that make you happy, Chris the Pike?

• 51:36Speaker 04

  Is she, is he dating Keira Knightley?

• 51:37Speaker 01

  No.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  I'm just saying he has the same torso as Keira Knightley.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  He does have the same torso as Keira.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  If he was just a torso, I'd suck on it. You know what I mean? He's got that good torso.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's hot.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  I've done this twice. Ryan Seacrest, I mean, you know.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  It's weird. It's you're into the, into the tight young men and I'm into them old barbed bushes. That's right, man. Get me, I'll trim them hedges. I'll get in there, baby.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  I'm not into tight young men. Ryan Seacrest is not a tight young man. Ryan Seacrest is a tight old man, made to look like a tight young man by science.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  You wanna get in them seaweeds.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  No, I just.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  You won't.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  I get a lot of flack sometimes for just talking about women, you know, so it's good to sometimes talk about other things.

• 52:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  But I would need to just have his belly button.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Oh, that you're building, now you're building the perfect.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Man.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  Man.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  Woman to have.

• 52:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. Your collage work is getting out of hand, Mr. Supremo.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Ah, yes. It's the house that Henry built. Um, serial killer in Lansing. Oh, is that, just really quick, I just couldn't, there is no real connections, but right now there is five homeless people that have viewed it. They're just, the only reason why we're even saying it is because they're even coming out and saying that they believe that the murders are connected. Five homeless people have been found hit, basically hit in the head to death.

• 52:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, the first homeless person who was killed, oh, first of all, they're all white, which is they're killing white men, which is, you know.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Very rare.

• 53:03Speaker 04

  Very rare for a serial killer.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  But not, not, but the technically, see, they stop being white when they're homeless.

• 53:09Speaker 04

  I see what you're saying.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:10Speaker 04

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  That's what it's a.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  According to the government.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  According to the government, yeah.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Yes. And, uh, but the first guy that was killed.

• 53:16Speaker 06

  If you think it could be Siri.

• 53:18Speaker 04

  The first guy that was killed, he was, um, there, there's someone that imprisoned for that murder.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, there's someone who's accused of the murder. They don't know quite, but he's saying that there might all be other connected. He might then get off.

• 53:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  So we have no idea. I'm just saying.

• 53:31Speaker 04

  There's a, there's a dude in Lansing killing sleeping homeless men.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  And there is a, that happened in LA. There is a, there is a, there is a very sadly, a very new classic way for the serial killer to start their way about because what they are doing is it's, it's somebody activated on the interests of killing somebody, looking to kill homeless people because it's easy.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  And you can do it at night.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  And they're usually in places that aren't like on camera.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 54:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. And there's lots of, you just, you know, no one, no one's gonna report it really.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  So it is, it's a sad situation, but we have no idea quite what's going, but I'm just saying the police are coming out saying they believe it's all connected.

• 54:15Speaker 04

  Fucking nuts.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  So it's coming, we'll find out.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  This episode is brought to you by Acorns Grow Incorporated. No, it is not trees, but it does help you grow the most important thing, your money. Everyone needs a good money goal. Me personally, I like going to concerts and I like having decent seats. My eyes don't work like they used to. I got bad. They're tiny. I can't see anyone on the stage anymore. So I want better tickets. Better tickets equal more money. Had you get more money, you need someone like Acorns to get your back and tell you how to squirrel it all away

• 55:02Speaker 04

  for a better day. You can sign up for Acorns in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money, even if all you've got is spare change. Squirrel it away. Sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with Acorns. New customers get a $20 bonus investment just for signing up. Takes about two minutes and could be the quickest 20 you'll ever earn. Head to acorns.com/left. That's A-C-O-R-N-S.com/left to claim your $20 bonus today. Acorns.com/left. Limited time offer. Terms and conditions apply. See

• 55:46Speaker 04

  acorns.com/terms for details. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier two compensation provided. Potential subject to various factors such as customers' accounts, age, and investment settings. Does not include Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorn Advertisers LLC is an SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com/left. That's acorns.com/left. October brings the first progress reports and parent teacher conferences of the year. iXL gives kids targeted practice in the area's teachers' flag, so small gaps get addressed

• 56:28Speaker 04

  before they grow. iXL is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills, or reviewing science concepts. From pre-K through 12th grade, iXL adapts to each child's level, pace, and learning needs. Kids get personalized practice that reinforce concepts they're learning at school, provides extra support when they're struggling with a challenging skill, and helps them keep progressing when they're ready for more. And studies show students who use iXL perform better academically with proven results in all 50 states. When I got Carmy and Wendy's progress reports back this year, the hardest part was knowing that Carmy bit the janitor. But iXL has really

• 57:12Speaker 04

  helped her on her biology. And I feel like that's the thing here is that, yeah, it's not necessarily going after their behavioral issues because Carmy's also, she did peddle inside, Wendy did poo poo inside of her, uh, English teacher's classroom. She did do a little tiny hard poop, but they're easy to clean, they're little poops. But she is doing well on her paper for the Canterbury Tales. And that's all because of iXL. So thank you so much, iXL. Keep our puppies, I mean children, learning and growing each day. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get iXL now. And Last Podcast on the Left listeners can get an exclusive 20% off iXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com/left.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  Visit ixl.com/left to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Oh no, it's my favorite thing in the world. It's Quince. Oh, I look good. I mean, I feel good. You know, it's been a while since I wanted to look at myself in the mirror and Quince really helps me with that. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see myself in that beautiful cashmere Quince sweater and I think, dang, everybody's gonna want this. I better take it off because I love my wife. You gotta get that versatile jacket. You

• 58:40Speaker 04

  gotta get the perfect t-shirt. And you know who's got it? Oh, it's Quince. Quince has got it. If you come to one of the shows, you'll probably see me wearing Quince. If you can't guess which part of my clothes are Quince, I'll give you a pinch. That's right. Quince for a pinch here over at Last Podcast on the Left. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. I like the cashmere. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them

• 59:21Speaker 04

  know it was Last Podcast on the Left. It's the best way to support the show. Quince. It makes you look like a prince.

• 59:29Speaker 03

  Live from your grave.

• 59:33Speaker 04

  Um, this Youngstown, Ohio story, I feel like is something we have to bring up.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  Reports of a man Monday told two Mormon missionaries who knocked on his door that he worships the devil and then he chased them through the streets with a rusty old shotgun.

• 59:51Speaker 01

  See, this is called all of my intrusive thoughts at once.

• 59:55Speaker 04

  This guy did this so you don't have to.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  I am so jealous that he got to do this because like they found the Mormon boys. I just think it's so fucking funny. He hid in a bush.

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  Hold on a second. This is wrong. All right, go ahead.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  The police found the two Mormon boys hiding in a bush like it's a Huckleberry Finn. And said like, what happened? They're like, the devil worship came out of his house. Cause I'm gonna guarantee you, okay, I'm gonna guarantee you that shotgun didn't work.

• 1:00:31Speaker 04

  No, it's, they, they made a point of calling it a rusty shotgun.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  It definitely didn't work.

• 1:00:36Speaker 04

  That didn't work to scare them.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  To have fun.

• 1:00:38Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  To have fun. He is his Satan, he's a Satan worshiper like myself. It's nice.

• 1:00:44Speaker 04

  We don't know that actually.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  We just.

• 1:00:46Speaker 04

  We just said that he is.

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  Again, and that's the, that's more fun than being one.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  You guys have to understand that about devil worship. It's more fun, dude, like no one actually does it. They just wanna tell you they do it because it's fun to do.

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  It freaks out the Mormon.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  Because Mormons, having two Mormon boys, oh my God, this fucking makes. We wanted to do it so bad. You bring them in the house, like after Heretic?

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  After seeing Heretic, I was so inspired. Like, the idea of bringing them in and like, like, I have that fantasy about like, making them abandon their god.

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  You know, just with my thoughts.

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  But it didn't work. They still love him. I bet they're gonna be heroes now.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  How? They didn't convert him?

• 1:01:28Speaker 04

  Well, that they faced down the devil.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  No, they lost.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  They didn't lose?

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  They hid in a bush. They hid in a fucking bush. He's fine. The guy who worshipped the devil, guy, he's fine. He won.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  Well, he's gonna go to jail.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  If, if, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna put this out here. This, this might offend some people, but if the Mormon god is remotely real, they would have done a shield of abjuration like it's fucking Baldur's Gate 3. Like, literally, they would have called their spirit guardians. They would have been surrounded by the family of Mordecai, right, going like, with ancient soldiers, and they would have destroyed the devil worshipper. If their god had any power, he would have protected them in that very instant.

• 1:02:09Speaker 04

  You're right.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  When he would need to protect them.

• 1:02:12Speaker 04

  Well, maybe that god knew that this shotgun didn't work.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  So god just was laughing his ass off.

• 1:02:18Speaker 04

  He's just like, oh, yeah, look at that.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Stupid Mormons. They'll never know. It's the Muslims that are correct. You know what I mean? Like, that's all you have to find. We just, which religion's correct, Eddie?

• 1:02:29Speaker 04

  I mean.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Which is the right one?

• 1:02:30Speaker 04

  Atheism.

• 1:02:32Speaker 01

  No, dude, but they're like, let's just say, because you think even god is just like, leave me alone? I feel like god is the biggest proponent of atheism.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  Again?

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Just get away from me.

• 1:02:41Speaker 04

  Just get away?

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  I'm sick of your fucking complaining.

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  I don't exist.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

• 1:02:47Speaker 04

  I don't exist. So, uh, so this guy, I think, I hate to put you on the spot like this.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Me?

• 1:02:53Speaker 04

  Yes, you. I think you could do the world a favor, bail this guy out of jail.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Who? What's the bail? Where's he at?

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  That would be a real fucking, just.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  That's a power move.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  That's a power move.

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  That's like Super PAC shit.

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  You know, my only problem with it is that I don't know the, I can't speak towards the rest of his character.

• 1:03:14Speaker 04

  I bet it's bad. I bet it's not great.

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  That's the problem. That's the problem. If you're doing fun shit like this, you're never like a good guy. I, you know what I mean? Is there really a fun guy doing it?

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  I mean, he's definitely fun. He's definitely too fun. It was almost noon. Maybe he was cranky because he didn't have lunch yet.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  This is really, but he did, he said he definitely got them down on their knees and put with a shotgun in the back of one of their fucking heads.

• 1:03:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, he did.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  And then they ran away. So I do, it is intense.

• 1:03:46Speaker 04

  It's a little, no, it's very intense.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  It's intense. I know, I know it is.

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  Do you think that there's still gonna be mission, missionaries?

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  I wouldn't be. I'd be like, god didn't care about us one bit, Father Joan. God didn't do anything. I thought you said god would, would help us.

• 1:04:03Speaker 04

  Only if you get good numbers in the conversion rates.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  What are your conversion rates? Because that's the thing. You gotta fucking close.

• 1:04:10Speaker 04

  You do.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  You have to close.

• 1:04:12Speaker 04

  Oh, my god, if they would have convinced him.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  That would have been amazing.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  That's the win.

• 1:04:16Speaker 04

  Then you're a hero.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Then they win. No, they lost to the devil today.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  And it's good to see. All right, we got some, I feel like we're at listener emails.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  Let's do a listener email. I mean, I do want to give a shout out to the guy who faked a medical emergency to avoid paying his Red Lobster bill. I, I do, I do like the move, but you know, you, you know what it was? Like, you, you mentioned it earlier. It was 26-year-old guy was arrested after faking a medical emergency once he received the bill, um, in, uh, Douglasville, Georgia. You're right. He's too young.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  You can't, 26 years old, no one's gonna believe you.

• 1:04:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was too young. You gotta say, great idea, hold it to your old.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  You have, you didn't need gray in your beard.

• 1:04:59Speaker 04

  And over.

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  Two things I'm gonna do to you, all right, right now, you know, I get some shit for giving, you know, criminals advice, but I think it's true. First of all, you need gray in your beard. Second of all, wait for it to be at Nobu.

• 1:05:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Go to a better place.

• 1:05:13Speaker 04

  No, if you're gonna pull this, $63 isn't enough.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  No, dude, fucking go, then pull a seizure.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  That's the idea. And also seizure, not heart attack.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  What actually got him in trouble was he dialed 911 to like, get taken away.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  And then that's what really got him in trouble.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:05:30Speaker 04

  Not getting out of the bill, but like, calling an ambulance for no reason.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, misusing 911.

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  Someone else could have died.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  Because the EMTs went to go save him, even though he didn't need to be saved.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:05:40Speaker 04

  And so that is the, that is the little dipshit reason of it, but.

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  Still.

• 1:05:44Speaker 04

  Pretty funny.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  It, it's objectively.

• 1:05:47Speaker 04

  It's objectively funny.

• 1:05:48Speaker 01

  Funny.

• 1:05:48Speaker 04

  And I thank you for trying and good luck with your $3,000 bond.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  Also, Red Lobster is not good anymore.

• 1:05:57Speaker 04

  Red Lobster's on the way back up.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:06:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, they got a new CEO. He's fucking been doing.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  They're Burger King-ing it?

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  They're doing a great job, actually, right now. Red Lobster is in a good place after the, the all-you-can-eat shrimp fiasco. Remember that?

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  I do.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  Which wasn't true.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  No, it was a land grab.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  It was a land grab.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Which is interesting for a seafood restaurant.

• 1:06:16Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  Because that's what it was. It was a real estate issue.

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they got a new young CEO who's doing all these things and Red Lobster's back on the way back up.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  All right, well.

• 1:06:27Speaker 04

  So I hope, you know, we'll see what happens with this, but.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  Well, when we're, when we go to Maine this year, that's right where we're going.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  Right to Red Lobster.

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  Right to Red Lobster.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  All right, let's get to this, to these emails.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  La, la, la, la, listener emails.

• 1:06:41Speaker 04

  Oh, shoot, we, we're not at home, so we can't really, we don't really have a song.

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  I know, we, I mean, Rob's gonna put it in, like, and write, one, two, three.

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  How fucking cool is that?

• 1:06:52Speaker 04

  It's cool.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  Listener emails. I'm telling the story right now.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  It's a listener mail.

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  Listener emails. AI-using motherfucker. Pure AI. Can't believe it. Here we go.

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  Hi, guys. Demetria from Rhode Island here. I've been a listener for years. I'm a huge fan. I turned my boyfriend, now fiance, on to you when we first started dating, and the fact that he also became a big fan was a green flag.

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  We tried to get Port, tickets to the Portland show, but it sold out, so we'll catch you next time around. Try harder.

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, go to fucking Burlington.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  I was just responding to your question about if an animal's shelter, shelter would have to disclose that the dogs up for adoption were sexually assaulted.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  Sometimes I forget the things we ask.

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, Melrose Podcast, I'm sorry. Uh, Melrose, big thank you to Melrose Podcast.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  That we're recording at. And again, we're extremely sorry for the content of today. Anyway, I was just responding. Okay. So I'd handle anything from intake to adoption. I used to work at an animal's shelter and all the care and training in between of the animals. It was a very rewarding but extremely emotionally taxing, and it couldn't survive off of $12.75 an hour, so I ended up having to leave.

• 1:08:09Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Although we never received any dog that we knew that were sexually assaulted. We would occasionally receive dogs that had eaten their owners. It's more common than you would think. An old person gets lonely, so they adopt a companion dog.

• 1:08:22Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Great idea for a few years, but then the old person dies alone in the home. The dog is stuck in there with them until someone realizes the older person isn't responding to the weekly family check-in or misses a doctor's appointment. The police or family come to do a welfare check, and boy, do they walk into a scene. We all assumed the dog is only eating their human for survival, but maybe they had just been waiting for this day. The police would bring the dog to us in the shelter, and we would all be very careful not to let it lick our faces. The dogs always seem very sweet and innocent, so you would have no idea that they would have been feasting on their owner's flesh for the past week. It's never the ones that you'd think. We would put them up for adoption and let people meet them, but it was only after the potential adopters would apply to take them home

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  that we would discreetly inform them of the dog's transgressions.

• 1:09:08Speaker 04

  Hey, just so you know, the, uh, dog, uh, it ain't a person. Just so you know.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  Too late in the process, guys. That's too late in the fucking process.

• 1:09:15Speaker 04

  Let me get you John Hancock right here.

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  Just so you know, it ain't of somebody.

• 1:09:21Speaker 01

  The look on people's faces was priceless. They would even look back over at the dog, who would be shaking a stuffed animal in their mouth, or even worse, staring back at the adopter with the tongue out, big grin, and then looking back at me in horror.

• 1:09:34Speaker 01

  Luckily, the dogs would eventually get adopted, but some people couldn't get over the human-eating thing. Could you guys adopt a dog that had a taste for human flesh?

• 1:09:42Speaker 04

  I mean, first off, absolutely. I don't care. Um, Tootsie was in a bed with, um, my mom's roommate.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:51Speaker 04

  Uh, passed away for three days, and Tootsie was there, and I gotta say, Tootsie didn't eat her.

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  I just think Tootsie was gross.

• 1:10:00Speaker 04

  No, don't say that.

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  Not in a bad way, but in just terms of being like a older woman filled with medication.

• 1:10:05Speaker 04

  She wasn't that old.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  How old was she?

• 1:10:08Speaker 04

  She was in her 50s.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  Ew, that's sad.

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it is sad. The whole situation's sad. But Tootsie did not eat her, is what I'm saying. Tootsie easily could have ate her. So I wonder what kind of dog, uh, does, does this.

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Are you a good dog? You need to have a good, strong jaws.

• 1:10:22Speaker 04

  I don't know. I bet Karmie would eat you.

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  Honestly, I don't know, because Karmie has now been, we're having a dish, an issue with dead squirrels in our yard.

• 1:10:30Speaker 04

  And she's not eating the squirrels.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  She's not eating them, no. So she's just, she's kind of just the pick, like, nose and animus.

• 1:10:36Speaker 04

  Someone's poisoning the squirrels.

• 1:10:37Speaker 01

  I know, and I don't like it.

• 1:10:39Speaker 04

  And that's not good, because they, they can't eat them, because they'll get sick.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  Yes, I know.

• 1:10:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  Oh, I know.

• 1:10:44Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  I know, I'm looking around.

• 1:10:45Speaker 04

  You gotta find out. There's only one way to know, I guess, who's doing it.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  I could start just fucking randomly interrogating people. I'd do the old-fashioned way and bring them to the backyard and fucking waterboard them a couple times to see what they gotta say.

• 1:10:56Speaker 04

  It should, because it's fucked up when you poison those squirrels. If a hawk eats the dead squirrel, the hawk's gonna die.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  I don't want them, because you know what it is? They're trying to kill the skunks.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  Guess what? Skunks are cute, though.

• 1:11:07Speaker 04

  Dude, I, my, I was in an Uber that hit a skunk. Um, I was in it for like, another half hour, and then I just had to sit in the dead skunk juice.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  Hey, you know, you know what the thing about the Uber drivers?

• 1:11:17Speaker 04

  They love it. But yeah, no, uh, this is amazing. Um, thank you for sending this in.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  Okay, here we go. Here's another, all right, this is a fucked up story from the other day, and I never got it, I never got to.

• 1:11:27Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Regarding your recent mention of illegally imported reptiles.

• 1:11:32Speaker 04

  Oh, all right.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  I previously worked in a surprisingly busy emergency department in a very small town, rampant with addiction and drug use. Overdoses were common, so when EMS called in with two adult males found unconscious with needles in their arms, we didn't think much of it. Just another day. The patients were brought in, both limp, eyes rolled back, blue lips, limbs flopping on the stretchers. Many attempts were made to save them, but they were gone. The doctor on staff that night was particularly friendly with me and often shared things that he didn't even share with the nurses. He was troubled that everyone assumed that this was just an overdose, and paced by my desk after the chaos had passed, all while muttering things like, this is no goddamn overdose. Several weeks later, same doctor comes to me, punches me in the shoulder and screams,

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  "Cobras." I had no fucking clue what was happening. I was like, I was already forgotten the incident. And that's where I was like, "What are you talking about?" As one does when someone punches in the arm while screaming about snakes. The overdose that wasn't one, it was cobras. Those dumb shits injected cobra venom. I told you something wasn't right. He then proceeded to do the Kevin McCallister "yes" arm. Turns out that these men had illegally obtained a cobra from god knows where, milked its venom, that injected themselves with the venom as some sort of bizarre virility ritual?

• 1:12:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Oh yeah. The doctor had sent off samples to a special toxicology lab that had been in frequent contact with law enforcement, who are very willing to share unofficial information with medical staff if they like you. These dumb bastards could have just let the snakes bite them. It would have done the same exact thing. Their fangs are essentially hypodermic needles. Why the hell do they do this?

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  Maybe they were murdered.

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  He then left my desk. No, they were in, it was in a syringe.

• 1:13:20Speaker 04

  I know, but someone could have...

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  I feel like it's a lot of trouble. And it's not enough venom. He then left my desk so high unknowing he was right that he was almost floating. I just wanted to mention this as an example of literal toxic masculinity.

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  Man, dude, I mean, that is toxic masculinity. Because like, you know, someone's like, you know, if you really want to get high, cobra venom.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  Well, it's like the idea that it makes you hard.

• 1:13:43Speaker 04

  Cobra venom?

• 1:13:45Speaker 01

  I don't know. That's what they're saying.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  It kills you. Everybody knows that cobras kill you.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Unless your dick doesn't work, you're willing to do anything, anything to get your dick to work.

• 1:13:55Speaker 04

  Do, does that mean that everyone who gets killed by cobras has a hard dick?

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  Side stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com. I'd love to know.

• 1:14:03Speaker 04

  Does cobra venom make you hard?

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  Does that work?

• 1:14:05Speaker 04

  Does it work?

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  Does it work? Um, what a wonderful episode this has been.

• 1:14:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, you know, there's lots of stuff going on in the world.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  Lots of fucked up stuff. We'll be talking about it more next week. We've got more Clifford Olson coming up and Last Podcast on the Left. We are here in New York City.

• 1:14:23Speaker 04

  That's right, baby.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  Come see us at the Comic Con. We're at New York Comic Con Thursday night.

• 1:14:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, we got a panel on Thursday.

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  Tomorrow night.

• 1:14:30Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  4:15. It's not night.

• 1:14:32Speaker 04

  It's night here. Who cares? Um, also Friday, like we said, we're at the Warsaw in Brooklyn. Only a couple of tickets left. Get them right now or they're going to be gone. Same thing with Hartford on Sunday at the Webster Theater. Fucking get into it. And then in October, we're going to be at the Mateo Community Center again.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:14:50Speaker 04

  October 24th.

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  Doing a big old costume show.

• 1:14:52Speaker 04

  In Humboldt.

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  Costume, get out here, man.

• 1:14:54Speaker 04

  Wear your costumes. We're going to have a contest. Holden McNeely's going to be coming with us. We're bringing the, we're bringing the man.

• 1:14:58Speaker 01

  Oh yeah.

• 1:14:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, so enjoy that. Um, also on October 14th in Los Angeles, I got Slammers Comedy Bash at the Stray Theater. And I'm also going to be co-headlining with Billy Wayne Davis at Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco on October 25th. Tickets to those and everything else are available on eddytunes.com. Uh, Side Stories tickets also available on lastpodcast on the left.com. We got all kinds of shit going on.

• 1:15:22Speaker 01

  Live every day, known for a fact that you don't need cobra venom to get hard. You just need the wonderful body of Barbara Bush.

• 1:15:30Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  You can laugh, known for a fact that no one else is jerking off at the Civil Rights Museum, unlike Ed Larson.

• 1:15:36Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:15:37Speaker 01

  Right? And you can love the fact that...

• 1:15:39Speaker 04

  Listen, we gotta get at it.

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  If you're trying to fuck Sally Field, it's not a long line.

• 1:15:43Speaker 04

  It is a long line.

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  You kidding me? I've been in line for 10 years.

• 1:15:47Speaker 04

  Well, fucking, when did she call in your number?

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  When did she call in your number at 666-6969? Thank you, Samantha Morton. And Lars von Trier, looking forward to meeting you one day.

• 1:15:59Speaker 04

  He's not a good person.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  No, I know.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  Hail Saint. Hail Stella, my new goddaughter.

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  I got a new one.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  Oh wow, brand new. You stole her from a family or?

• 1:16:12Speaker 04

  Well, I, I, in the future.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  Hi, it's me, your gutters. I want to start by saying I'm fine. Everything is totally fine. There's just, there's a lot of debris up here and I, I've been managing it mostly on my own for about eight months now. And I just thought maybe you could find someone on Angie to clean me up. You don't have to make it a whole thing. It doesn't need to be a whole thing. I just, I could really use your help.

• 1:16:42Speaker 06

  Your gutters have waited long enough. Find a pro at Angie.com.

• 1:16:48Speaker 00

  When an intruder approaches a home, they expect a camera. What they don't expect... Stop. This is Simply Safe. Police are on the way. Using smart AI cameras, live US-based agents help deter intruders in under 30 seconds. Don't just record a break-in, stop it from ever happening. Plans starting around a dollar a day. Right now, get 60% off your new system with professional monitoring at simplysafe.com/sxm.

• 1:17:12Speaker 03

  30 seconds response time requires monitoring plan with outdoor protection starting at $49.99 a month. Visit simplysafe.com/licenses for alarm license information.