Playing Cards and Curling One Out

Would you sit around a massive toilet pooing and playing cards with your friends? This week, Joe Thomas and James Buckley are already swapping toilet facts, from Queen Elizabeth I's flushing embarrassment to the most popular cubicles. Plus Joe and James give their hot takes on the meals of the day and make their verdict on whether you can feed ducks bread... GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Network freedom and flexibility, that's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to bill Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  1965, London. The world's largest uncut diamond has been stolen from the Natural History Museum.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Shortly after, a young London window cleaner is arrested.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  They said, "You're nicked, you're in a lot of trouble."

• 0:46Speaker 01

  But was he set up?

• 0:47Speaker 03

  Wanted art led to a fall of two cops.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  His family say he is guilty, but of a totally different crime.

• 0:55Speaker 02

  You don't want to end up going to prison, do you, kiddo?

• 0:57Speaker 01

  I'm Jaycee Long and this is Rough Diamond. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 1:06Speaker 04

  Oh, I've got bought another t-shirt if we wanted to make it look like it's another... Oh, you have done that? Yeah. I didn't think you did. I did. It's not iron, but I've got a sweatshirt to put over the top, so it'll work. Do you want to do that? You can do it. Do you want to do that? I was told it wasn't... I've brought another shirt as well, but I've been... Like, we've got it, shall we do it? Well, then my hair gets messed up. Okay, let's leave it. Am I just obviously wearing the same thing? I mean... Yeah, but I am as well. It's fine. Are they gonna, are they gonna kick off and go... Who's gonna have a go at us for, for making two, two episodes of the podcast?

• 1:37Speaker 01

  It just adds engagement to the post where they...

• 1:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Oh, they've done this work on the same day.

• 1:42Speaker 04

  Ah, okay. They like that. Keep all this in. People love it. Yeah, okay. People love it. People love it. Anyway, we'll do one... People love it and we'll do one more for safety.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  But what is the better word?

• 1:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Um, yes, we are doing a podcast right now and we are recording. And, um, me and Joe are constantly, uh, getting the note, "One more for safety", just to, just to, just to bring our listener up. Yep. Which I think is a polite way of saying, "That was shit, do it again." Yeah. Well, yeah. If by "safe" they mean... Yeah, yeah. At an acceptable level. Absolutely.

• 2:23Speaker 03

  Joe and James. Ah, Joe and James. Joe and James. It's Fact Up again. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James. Joe and James, Fact Up.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Hey, listen, um, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Thank you for joining us.

• 2:41Speaker 05

  Hello.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  Each week we'll be bringing one another a fact that we deem interesting. Uh, and our policy is, and this is policy here, the more interesting, the more true it is.

• 2:52Speaker 05

  That's what we're saying.

• 2:53Speaker 04

  That's it. That's the bar that we've set.

• 2:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:55Speaker 04

  We'll unpack it, we'll debate it, and then we'll probably start talking about some stuff that has nothing to do with it, obviously. Um, we'll also dig in to the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but don't, can't be bothered to research, in a segment that we're calling Fact Checked. No, we're not calling it that. We're calling it Fact Check.

• 3:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, we are calling it, yeah.

• 3:19Speaker 04

  One more for safety.

• 3:21Speaker 05

  We've always called it Fact Check. Because of that.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  For once, for a better word, Fact Check.

• 3:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  Um, so if you want to send in your facts for us, our email is [email protected].

• 3:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  And our WhatsApp is, our number, we've got a phone number here, get in contact, 07822 034330. And our socials are at Joe and James Pod, and you can DM us, uh, anything that you think that me and Joe will find interesting, that you consider is a fact. I'll be honest with you, doesn't have to be a fact. It doesn't have to be a fact.

• 3:59Speaker 05

  It could be, last week's wasn't even a, it was a question. It was literally a question.

• 4:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:04Speaker 05

  It was like, well, what?

• 4:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:05Speaker 05

  So that, how's our fact?

• 4:06Speaker 04

  So listen, if you want.

• 4:07Speaker 05

  It can be anything.

• 4:08Speaker 04

  If you've got something that you're not sure is a fact, that you want me and Joe to, to verify, and again, once, we'll, we'll verify it if we think it sounds right. Um, but also if you've got a fact that you don't know whether it's a fact or not, we'll still talk about that.

• 4:21Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  You can also head to the podcast description, uh, if you've also, if you've already forgotten about all that stuff, which I have as well. Hello at James, James and, no, that's fine.

• 4:31Speaker 05

  Don't start saying that.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  No, uh, head over to the description, honestly.

• 4:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, because otherwise we'll, we'll loop round and. That's that then.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. Anyway, Joe.

• 4:41Speaker 05

  Hiya.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  How have you been?

• 4:42Speaker 05

  I've been actually really well.

• 4:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:43Speaker 05

  Um, just, uh.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  We don't have to, should we, you know, we're wearing the same clothes as we were last week. We're clearly, we're clearly.

• 4:53Speaker 05

  We haven't gone home and put back on.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  We're recording one podcast after the other.

• 4:57Speaker 05

  Not, not forever, just a bit of time.

• 4:59Speaker 04

  I think.

• 5:00Speaker 05

  It's all right. What's wrong with that?

• 5:00Speaker 04

  I think what we should do is just come up with a uniform.

• 5:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, um, the, like Steve Jobs, which we are like really, because we're doing a similar sort of thing.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  The black polo neck.

• 5:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 04

  The blue jeans.

• 5:13Speaker 05

  What's wrong with that? That's fine.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  I imagine he just had.

• 5:16Speaker 05

  I haven't got any jeans that fit me anymore though. Have you got any jeans that fit you?

• 5:18Speaker 04

  I just bought some yesterday.

• 5:20Speaker 05

  I've just started giving mine away, which was horrible.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  I just bought some yesterday because I was, I was like, I haven't got any more jeans that, like, I need to sort myself out.

• 5:28Speaker 05

  Since, since Covid, not because of Covid, but since Covid and the lockdown. Keep your sick, keep it in. Bless, bless you.

• 5:37Speaker 04

  This is all good.

• 5:38Speaker 05

  Yes, I haven't really, um.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  Next week will be a fact about sneezing.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  Oh, I know.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 5:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The first, the world's first sneeze.

• 5:47Speaker 04

  The world's first sneeze.

• 5:49Speaker 05

  Who was it? It was actually, um, it was Norman, Norman Tebbit.

• 5:54Speaker 05

  He was the first one and then, and then they were all going, oh, that'll never catch on.

• 5:57Speaker 04

  What a reference. Do you know what we've got to do though, man? The problem is, right, is I cannot, because we have like a 15, 20 minute break. We do, we, we record two podcasts. Listen, I don't want to pull the curtain back too much, right? But we record two episodes in one day when we're doing this podcast. But where we, where we record this podcast, there is this amazing, like, street.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  And it's just full of food up and down the street. All those sort of, what do you call them? Food trucks.

• 6:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:28Speaker 04

  Oh my God, we've got to go.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  I know.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  We've got to take a little wander down there.

• 6:32Speaker 05

  I haven't even ventured out of the building.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  We've got to do that.

• 6:34Speaker 05

  I'm just going down and.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  My problem is, is that I'm starving right now, by the way.

• 6:38Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  I, I, you, you made that wrap.

• 6:41Speaker 05

  Did you not want to come down and get a wrap as well?

• 6:42Speaker 04

  You made that look so nice, right?

• 6:45Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  But if I.

• 6:45Speaker 05

  I was enjoying it.

• 6:46Speaker 04

  If I eat something.

• 6:47Speaker 05

  That's what a nice compliment. I don't even know what that really means, but it's, thank you so much.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  You did such a good job.

• 6:51Speaker 05

  I ate it nicely.

• 6:52Speaker 04

  Yeah. And it smelled, it smelled really nice as well.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Then if you're out there, if you'd like something eaten.

• 6:59Speaker 04

  Well, give them your agent's details and get, they can get gone to.

• 7:06Speaker 05

  I'll text me.

• 7:07Speaker 04

  If I had something to eat, if I had, if I had that wrap that you ate just now, I'd want to sleep.

• 7:12Speaker 05

  I get that as well. And, and you know what I mean? I don't really enjoy his lunch. I, I wish, I, to me, food is either get, to get me up in the, in the morning, as we call it.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. For want of a better word.

• 7:23Speaker 05

  For want of a better word.

• 7:26Speaker 05

  For want of a better word. Actually, in this case, I think it is the best word.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  It's perfect, isn't it?

• 7:33Speaker 05

  You know, when I've, when I've been, for want of a better word, asleep.

• 7:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 05

  And then I, for want of a better word, wake up. And then I, for want of a better word, get up. Then food is just like, get something into this body, this horrible.

• 7:47Speaker 04

  I've never been a breakfast guy. I've never been a breakfast guy. Here's a fact for you. I say fact.

• 7:53Speaker 05

  It's fine.

• 7:54Speaker 04

  As we've established. It's something I've heard.

• 7:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 04

  The meal, breakfast is, is fabricated. It's completely made up. I think it's, I think it's like the meat industry in America.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  No way.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  When they're like, we've got to sell, we've got to sell some more.

• 8:10Speaker 05

  We've got to start selling some bacon.

• 8:11Speaker 04

  Let's start lobbying politicians and stuff. And then all of a sudden, it becomes sort of doctrine. It's, it's in the curriculum where it's like, here's the, you should eat three times a day and da, da, da. That's not natural.

• 8:30Speaker 05

  But the sleep is not natural either, is it? The eight hour, we basically sleep in four hour chunks naturally, like we have. That's the kind of shape of the wave. And it would be much better to do.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  That was, that was factory workers.

• 8:42Speaker 05

  Of course, yeah.

• 8:43Speaker 04

  That was factory workers.

• 8:44Speaker 05

  You need, yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 04

  The, the eight, the, the nine hour day or whatever. That's all factory stuff.

• 8:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  It used to be. Back in again, don't know if this is true or not.

• 8:53Speaker 05

  Doesn't matter.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  It used to. So let's go back to the medieval medieval period for a second.

• 8:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:58Speaker 04

  So you'd go to bed at like seven.

• 9:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  Go to sleep at seven in the evening, wake up around 11.

• 9:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 04

  And come together as a commu- you'd commune again for about two or three hours during the middle of the night. Because night time's dangerous. There's not electricity. You can't just have streetlights on and stuff like that. Oh, there's strangers coming into town.

• 9:17Speaker 05

  You know, if it's the winter or the autumn, you're not gonna stay up once the sun's gone down.

• 9:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:22Speaker 05

  I'll tell you this, because I've.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Also, you've got to stoke fires and stuff during the night and things like that.

• 9:27Speaker 05

  Absolutely, absolutely. I'll tell you this, because I.

• 9:29Speaker 04

  So people would, people would wake up in the middle of the night for a few hours.

• 9:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  And then go back to sleep sort of a few hours before dawn.

• 9:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  And then that, that would be their night.

• 9:39Speaker 05

  Get your next bit, yeah.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  But they would, but, but people would come together and like meet up and stuff.

• 9:43Speaker 05

  I mean, I know, and I really like that. And, and, and it's another, everyone's in a slightly different mood. Uh, it's, um, there's, it feels like a good time. I find the evening a good time to, to think. I feel like things have fallen away. I feel like I can be like, right, where, what we actually. The, the day is so cluttered and so crowded, it's so noisy and like, so I think that that period of like waking up and the community. I mean, I would have, I would really like that.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone. And including dental, vision and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is every plan has a zero dollar or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  1965, London. The world's largest uncut diamond has been stolen from the Natural History Museum.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Shortly after, a young London window cleaner is arrested.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  They said, "You're nicked. You're in a lot of trouble."

• 11:02Speaker 01

  But was he set up?

• 11:03Speaker 02

  Wanted, I've led to a fall of two cops.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  His family say he is guilty, but of a totally different crime.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  You're not going to end up going to prison, are you, kid, later?

• 11:13Speaker 01

  I'm Josie Long, and this is Rough Diamond. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 11:29Speaker 05

  Right, James, it's time that you told me something.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  You want to fact, do you?

• 11:33Speaker 05

  Yes, please.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  I'll fact your brains out. Don't worry about that.

• 11:36Speaker 05

  Please, please.

• 11:38Speaker 04

  We would, we mentioned the toilet.

• 11:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  So I've got, I've got a couple of facts for you here.

• 11:45Speaker 05

  Okay, go on.

• 11:45Speaker 04

  About the old toilet.

• 11:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:47Speaker 04

  Some of them are good, man.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  Queen Elizabeth I's bathroom problem.

• 11:54Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 11:55Speaker 04

  Here you go.

• 11:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Her godson.

• 11:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  Who we all know, Sir John Harrington.

• 12:00Speaker 05

  Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Harrows, yeah.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Sir John Harrington built her a flushing toilet in 1596, but she refused to use it because the noise was embarrassing.

• 12:12Speaker 05

  Oh, okay. So she, she, she didn't want people to know.

• 12:16Speaker 04

  To hear.

• 12:17Speaker 05

  To hear, yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  Her flushing after she'd done a turnout. And that's the thing.

• 12:21Speaker 05

  So what was she doing in that case without the flush? Like, how was she just doing it into sawdust?

• 12:27Speaker 04

  That's as far as I've got.

• 12:29Speaker 05

  That's okay. But you know what? It's interesting, is it? Because it's, um.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  I thought they just, because toilets were Tudor, you're, well, as I keep mentioning, you're a historian. Tudors are the other side of the medieval age, aren't they?

• 12:45Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 05

  They are. You might even say that that is possibly how you would make that distinction, is sort of about 15 and.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  So they're Renaissance, sort of.

• 12:55Speaker 05

  Hundreds, probably, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, the Tudors would be.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  So do you think they were still, because all those, all those castles were already bu- built, right?

• 13:03Speaker 05

  They had those things.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  They were just hanging off the side of the building, weren't they?

• 13:05Speaker 05

  I think basically it was all pretty horrible. And in fact, one of the great sort of, um.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  Wasn't a king assassinated because someone climbed up the toilet on the side of a, and stabbed him up the arse?

• 13:17Speaker 05

  There's quite a lot of stories.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Gonna need, gonna need, we're gonna need a Google.

• 13:21Speaker 05

  There's quite a lot of stories in history about kings dying by having stuff shoved up their arse. I don't know why, but it just seems to be a bit of an obsession.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  The irony is, I'm dying, so don't die.

• 13:31Speaker 05

  I know, I get the flushing toilet, bring back the, uh, bring back the gentleman, uh, climbing up the ladder. But, um, no, well, so two things is that the, um, sewerage is obviously a, a, a big issue for a large city. And one of the great sort of heroes of Victorian London is.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  John Snow.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  What? No, that's, that's cholera.

• 13:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 05

  But there's a guy called Basil Jet.

• 13:59Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 14:00Speaker 05

  Who invented the Victorian sewerage system.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:04Speaker 05

  Uh, for which he is rightly revered. Cause obviously if you can't get rid of your sewerage, after a while, everyone's gonna start dying of disease.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Doesn't he have a, doesn't, doesn't he have a knock on effect to John Snow then?

• 14:15Speaker 05

  John Snow realised that cholera was spread by water. So, yeah, so John Snow, I don't, when was cholera?

• 14:23Speaker 04

  The cholera epidemic was 1800s, right? John Snow, he, um.

• 14:28Speaker 05

  Traced it to a well.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  He traced it to a well on, um, Broad Street.

• 14:32Speaker 05

  Yep, yep.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  And he worked out that, um, people that were getting their water from one company.

• 14:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  Was down or upstream, I can't remember what it was.

• 14:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:44Speaker 04

  From where the sewerage was getting pumped into the Thames.

• 14:48Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 14:49Speaker 04

  To another water company. So it was the Suffolk and Vauxhall Water Company.

• 14:53Speaker 05

  Right.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  And another company that I can't remember.

• 14:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  I think if you got, if you had your water from the Suffolk and Vauxhall Water Company, you definitely got, basically got cholera.

• 15:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 04

  Uh, but the Broad Street pump was because a baby got cholera and they were throwing the shitty baby nappies down in a cesspit. And that was leaking into the, into the pump.

• 15:13Speaker 05

  I see.

• 15:14Speaker 04

  It's all there, mate.

• 15:15Speaker 05

  He figured that all out, he figured it all out, he figured it all out.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  It's all there.

• 15:18Speaker 05

  And the other thing I say about kings and queens and toilets is that the privy chamber.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:23Speaker 05

  Obviously, literally means the people who are around you when you go to the toilet. So if you were in the privy chamber.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  They were privy.

• 15:29Speaker 05

  They were, yeah, they were privy to what's going on. And also, they were literally in the privy. Like, so they're the people who, and you've got like the groom of the stall, which is literally the guy who basically wipes the king's arse.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:40Speaker 05

  So, yeah, going to the toilet is important. It's actually, if you're, so when people sort of say, oh, you know, like, it's all the, all the important business is done in the toilets. I don't, I mean.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  So on the golf course now.

• 15:51Speaker 05

  On the golf course?

• 15:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:52Speaker 05

  Is it?

• 15:53Speaker 04

  I think so. I don't know. I'm just, I'm just talking shit.

• 15:55Speaker 05

  Is that why I'm, yeah?

• 15:57Speaker 04

  Apparently you've got to be into golf to be, um, to be important.

• 16:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:01Speaker 04

  I've got a question for you, Jack. So there's this thing that's, over the last year or so.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  And I have gone, fucking hell, yeah, that is me. That apparently men, at least once a day, think about the Roman Empire.

• 16:14Speaker 05

  I've heard this as well. I don't, I don't think I do, although I'm sure I've got my equivalent to what that would be. Yeah.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  Now, I, I do, like, I do.

• 16:22Speaker 05

  You know, the Romans.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  I do think, like, I do, it creeps into my head, the Roman Empire. It just does.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  It's a sort of obsession to bring back the Roman Empire. Like, if you look at, like, after the fall of the Roman Empire, a, a load of leaders come back and they all basically call themselves Caesar. So Kaiser in Germany just means Caesar.

• 16:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 16:44Speaker 05

  Tsar in Russia, that just means Caesar.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  Right.

• 16:47Speaker 05

  Um, we've got the Holy Roman Empire as well, which is kind of not really the Roman Empire, but kind of.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  That I need to, that, not on this podcast, because it's going to be fucking boring.

• 16:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  But that I do need to pin you down and get you to explain to me what the fucking hell the Ro- Holy Roman Empire was.

• 17:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's complicated.

• 17:00Speaker 04

  Just a load of states in the middle of Europe.

• 17:04Speaker 05

  What's, what's weird is it?

• 17:04Speaker 04

  We won't, no, we can't get into it. We can't. Cause it is, I know, I know it's really boring, but I do want to know all about it.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:11Speaker 04

  But because I do, because I do think about the Roman Empire quite a lot.

• 17:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  I do, and this is a toilet fact for you.

• 17:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  Obviously sanitation and stuff like that, it's quite high up on the list on the Romans. They loved it. Being clean and all that sort of nonsense.

• 17:23Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Um, nonsense.

• 17:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, all that, all that rubbish.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  But the toilets, the toilet situation.

• 17:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  And I'm just like, oh no, I wouldn't be able to do that. Like they all just sat on benches, no like dividers and stuff. All sharing sponges, washing their arse and stuff.

• 17:38Speaker 05

  But again, just talking about like the, the, the communality of toilets. There's a bit in the war novel, All Quiet on the Western Front.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 17:46Speaker 05

  Where in the early part of that book, there's a German, so it's told from the point of view of a German soldier.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 05

  He said, he talks about how blissful the early months, before really there had been any fighting or anyone had really died, if his, when his mates had died, he just said, those were the good times. It was just brilliant. We were sitting in the sun, watching the aeroplanes fly overhead, like it was, I was with my friends, it was glorious. And one of the things that he really, really loves is he says, we'd go and get these thunderboxes. Um, we'd put um, a big kind of oil drum lid in the middle to play cards on. A thunderbox is basically a box to shit into. And they'd all sit around and they'd play cards and they'd be shitting away. And he said, I know you're gonna say that this is disgusting, but he said, believe you me, all of that goes, all of that go, you don't give a fuck about that when you're a soldier, like you're, and he, he, he said, this is, he, he literally, this is just,

• 18:33Speaker 05

  this is as good as life gets almost, just sitting around, having a shit, playing cards with your mates in the sun.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, if it's a cross section of life.

• 18:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  What more could you want than in that moment?

• 18:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know, yeah, I mean completely.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  Curling one out.

• 18:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  Playing cards with your pals.

• 18:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. And it does, you know, it, it is a room that, that serves a kind of uh, a mental function, I think is the room where you're on your own and you can kind of regather your thoughts. Martin Amis apparently used to say when he was going for a shit, he'd always say he was going for a rethink, which is uh, quite nice apparently.

• 19:06Speaker 04

  Couple of um, little uh, quick toilet facts for you here, Joe.

• 19:10Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Um, we all know Thomas Crapper.

• 19:13Speaker 05

  Hmm, hmm.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Um, but the word crap already existed before him.

• 19:18Speaker 05

  Yes. So do you think he thought, I'd better make toilets then? Because.

• 19:22Speaker 04

  Well, he was a plumber in the eighteen hundreds.

• 19:25Speaker 05

  It's funny, isn't it?

• 19:26Speaker 04

  So, maybe it was a, maybe it's a, a family business.

• 19:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:30Speaker 04

  Like a sort of, you know, people that are called Smith and stuff like that.

• 19:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. Or, or yes, exactly. Like as in they'd be blacksmiths and then he's a, yeah, could be.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  Um.

• 19:41Speaker 05

  Could be.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  The space shuttle.

• 19:43Speaker 05

  Maybe they were just rubbish plumbers.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  It's just called crap. We're crap plumbers.

• 19:48Speaker 05

  My name's Andrew Shitsplum.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  Right. Also, by the way, I think you're on something there.

• 19:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  If you, if you're thinking of starting up a plumbing business, call yourself crap plumbers.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Like, that is a marketing dream. Like, that will just go viral.

• 20:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  Last one for you. Talking about toilets, Joe.

• 20:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  NASA.

• 20:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  The space shuttle.

• 20:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:10Speaker 04

  The toilet on the space shuttle reportedly cost around $50 million to develop.

• 20:17Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  So.

• 20:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  Because you can imagine trying to go for a shit in space.

• 20:22Speaker 05

  You can't just stick your arse out the window, can you?

• 20:22Speaker 04

  No.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  Embarrassing.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  No, yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 05

  They were trying to pull you back in.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  Going for a shit in space.

• 20:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:30Speaker 04

  That must, like, if you go to the ISS or something and like.

• 20:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Taking a shit, that's going to be difficult to make it go in the direction that you want it to go.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  It must, yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  Would you have to blow on it or something?

• 20:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, you go.

• 20:44Speaker 05

  Just waft it.

• 20:44Speaker 04

  Just waft it away from you.

• 20:46Speaker 05

  Waft it to your mate.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  And they're like, oh, fuck off. And you're like, oh, not again. Got you. Got you.

• 20:52Speaker 05

  Will you be asleep? I'm going to just be floating.

• 20:54Speaker 04

  Just a turd floating in front of your face. Someone's videoing it on their phone.

• 20:58Speaker 05

  Oh, I'll tell you what.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  Stick that on TikTok.

• 21:00Speaker 05

  That'd do very well. You'd make the money back, actually. You'd get the 50 million back.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  But the thing, just again, you're showing James facts up.

• 21:10Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 21:10Speaker 04

  Here's a fact for you. Don't know if it's true.

• 21:11Speaker 05

  It does, yeah. As I say.

• 21:13Speaker 04

  So I think NASA, talking about NASA.

• 21:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  I think they spent millions and millions of dollars, right?

• 21:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:19Speaker 04

  Making a pen that can write in space. It can write upside down and stuff.

• 21:27Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm getting a bit of that information from the sitcom Seinfeld.

• 21:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:31Speaker 04

  Because he gets into an argument with someone that has the NASA pen that can write upside down.

• 21:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:36Speaker 04

  Anyway, right? And this is like a thing, it was told to me when I was a kid. I think it was a teacher. You know when you get those teachers that's like, I'm going to blow this seven-year-old boy's mind.

• 21:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:48Speaker 04

  And they think they're so cool.

• 21:49Speaker 05

  I didn't want my mind blown. I was just like, don't.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  But I remember being in primary school and this teacher said, yeah, NASA spent. Twenty million dollars on trying to develop a pen that could write in space. The Russians took a pencil.

• 22:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know. And it's as if they're saying, so maybe you want to revise your opinions.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:09Speaker 05

  About how.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  I think I was trying, I think I was trying to be indoctrinated like at the age of seven.

• 22:13Speaker 05

  What are they saying? What are they saying? They're like, so maybe you should stop trying to develop that pen. I'm not developing a pen. I'm not developing a pen.

• 22:20Speaker 04

  Again, I don't know if that's true. I don't know.

• 22:21Speaker 05

  No, no, but I think I have heard, I think I have actually heard that as well, but I think it's like. But the implication is always that you should be like, well, so.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  I do think there is a less.

• 22:29Speaker 05

  Have you got anything to say?

• 22:30Speaker 04

  I do thi- I do think that I understand what you were trying to teach me was like, you can't, sometimes you can over complicate stuff.

• 22:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  And, you know, in- instead of engineering a pen that will work in space, take a fucking pencil.

• 22:43Speaker 05

  Think of there's something that's already there.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:44Speaker 05

  Yeah. Also, you can rub it out.

• 22:47Speaker 04

  That's the good thing about pens.

• 22:48Speaker 05

  So you could write down moon. Oh, no, it's not. Rub it out. Sun.

• 22:54Speaker 04

  Sun.

• 22:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:57Speaker 05

  And no one has to know.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  I think.

• 22:58Speaker 05

  Where's the Americans? It'll be full of all.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  Genuine transcribe conversation from.

• 23:03Speaker 05

  That is, yeah, no, that, they, they, yeah.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  They did that. It was like, uh, Houston, we're looking.

• 23:07Speaker 05

  We're looking at the moon.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  Right now. Oh, hang on. Sorry. One second. No, that's the sun.

• 23:12Speaker 05

  It's the, it's the sun.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  That's the sun.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  We're about to land on the moon.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  Uh, Houston.

• 23:17Speaker 05

  No, sorry.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  I think we've got a problem. Oh, no, wait. No, we don't.

• 23:25Speaker 05

  I, my favorite story from school was about the, um, an argument between the sun and the wind. You heard this? And there's a bloke walking along and he's wearing a coat. And the sun and the wind say, let's see who can get him to take his coat off. And the wind goes first and goes.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  No wonder we're, we turn into the people that we are.

• 23:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, but I quite like this.

• 23:48Speaker 04

  Cause you get told all this fucking nonsense going on in primary school.

• 23:51Speaker 05

  I quite liked it and he goes, and he's trying to blow the man's coat off and the man just obviously pulls it even more tightly around him. And then the sun goes next and just shines and the man takes his coat off of his own free will. And I suppose what he's saying is, you know, what is it? You catch more flies with honey.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  Right.

• 24:06Speaker 05

  Do you know what I mean? It's.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's more, you use more muscles, smi- frowning than you do smiling.

• 24:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, I was never sure.

• 24:12Speaker 04

  There's a fact, but yeah.

• 24:13Speaker 05

  That is, that was, so what? Like, so what? I should base all my emotions on muscle use?

• 24:20Speaker 04

  Use up way more energy than frowning than you do smiling.

• 24:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, but also, and also there'll be stuff that's even less energy.

• 24:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, neutral.

• 24:29Speaker 05

  Neutral.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  Just plain based.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  No muscles being used there.

• 24:35Speaker 05

  Have I told you that my resting facial expression often looks so worried that when I had the.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  I'd argue, I'd argue that's not a resting.

• 24:43Speaker 05

  It's not very restful.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 24:44Speaker 05

  When I had the COVID vaccine, when I was sitting afterwards where they monitor you to see if you're, you know, if you're, if you're allergic to it.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:52Speaker 05

  They thought I was having an allergic reaction, but I was actually just sitting there with my own thoughts.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 24:57Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  Well, I do.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  I have.

• 25:01Speaker 05

  They were like, medic.

• 25:03Speaker 04

  I've mentioned this before, but I have had, I've been constantly told ever since I was, ever since I was a kid.

• 25:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  I've been constantly told by strangers to cheer up because it might never happen.

• 25:13Speaker 05

  It's fucking outrageous that they say that. You've got no right to say that.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  I'm at one.

• 25:18Speaker 05

  Fuck off, genuinely fuck, fuck you.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Like, if I do look miserable, maybe something has fucking happened.

• 25:24Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  Mind your own business.

• 25:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, stuff happens all the time.

• 25:27Speaker 04

  But two, like, I'm fine, it's just my face. Like, I don't know what, like, unless I'm walking around grinning like a fucking lunatic, like I'm the Joker from Batman or something.

• 25:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, I know. You somebody, you walk around something going.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  You'd go, well, he's all right, isn't he? There's nothing wrong with that guy.

• 25:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, I have to walk around with a smile plaster on your face.

• 25:47Speaker 04

  If I saw someone walking around, like, grinning, I'd go, what the fuck is wrong with that, with him?

• 25:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  And to be fair, I wouldn't go up to him.

• 25:56Speaker 05

  No, of course I wouldn't.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  I'd be too afraid, afraid to come up to him.

• 25:59Speaker 05

  No, yeah, you wouldn't go over and say, cheer down, it has.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  Relax, mate.

• 26:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:07Speaker 04

  So there's some toilet facts for you, Joe.

• 26:09Speaker 05

  That's good.

• 26:10Speaker 04

  Before we get to your fact, Joe, we've obviously got fact check.

• 26:14Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 26:15Speaker 04

  Where a listener sends in a fact. They haven't fact checked.

• 26:21Speaker 05

  They haven't fact checked. And what we do is we, it's not really that we check as we've maker, we don't research, we don't go on the internet. We see if it rings true.

• 26:29Speaker 04

  Last week, last week, I didn't, the, who was it? Monty or someone? Matilda.

• 26:34Speaker 05

  Matilda.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Matilda.

• 26:36Speaker 05

  Monty.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  Matilda sent it. Matilda sent us in a fact, right?

• 26:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  That I didn't think was true. Or that.

• 26:45Speaker 05

  It wasn't a fact, it was a question.

• 26:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was a question, actually.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  It wasn't a fact, week two.

• 26:49Speaker 04

  But we disagreed, but then you.

• 26:51Speaker 05

  We disagreed, I won you over.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  You won me over with some spurious sort of stuff that looked like.

• 26:55Speaker 05

  But in the end, it turned out to be sort of half true.

• 27:00Speaker 04

  But that's it, that's how facts work.

• 27:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:02Speaker 04

  So.

• 27:03Speaker 05

  That's how facts work.

• 27:04Speaker 04

  That's how facts work.

• 27:05Speaker 05

  I love it.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  So let's, let's move on now to fact check.

• 27:10Speaker 05

  Yes, here we go.

• 27:11Speaker 04

  Okay, so Sharon has got in contact with us this week, Joe.

• 27:15Speaker 05

  Yep, yep.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Sharon.

• 27:21Speaker 04

  I've got Sharon.

• 27:22Speaker 05

  Oh, this is, that's for example, this is a.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Oh, that's for example, sorry.

• 27:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, sorry. To give you an example of what fact check is, our regular feature, for example, Sharon, Sharon gets in touch.

• 27:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  And says, Crispers, Crispers.

• 27:40Speaker 05

  Crispers.

• 27:43Speaker 05

  Crispers.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  It's a crisp that you eat at Christmas. Sharon says, crisps always go out on a day on a Saturday, is that true? And then we'll, we'll go away and decide whether it's true or not.

• 27:57Speaker 05

  We decide, that's, and we want to be clear, it's up to us.

• 28:00Speaker 04

  It is up to us, so it is time for fact check.

• 28:03Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 28:04Speaker 04

  Right.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  So I'll do it, so that's the example.

• 28:06Speaker 04

  That's the example.

• 28:06Speaker 05

  But this is now the.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  I feel like if we'd just gone into the fucking fact.

• 28:11Speaker 05

  They probably might, they might, they might have got it, it seems weird to do an example.

• 28:14Speaker 04

  We've got fucking Sharon giving us examples of facts.

• 28:17Speaker 05

  So Sharon doesn't really exist, she's an example of a human, like that might, so if you don't know what a human is.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  So AI Sharon.

• 28:23Speaker 05

  AI Sharon said, Crisper.

• 28:28Speaker 05

  And, but, but here now.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  That might be my fault, that one.

• 28:31Speaker 05

  No, no, no, no, so do you actually say what it was?

• 28:35Speaker 04

  Crisper.

• 28:35Speaker 05

  What was the fact that Sharon said?

• 28:37Speaker 04

  That crisps always go out on a day on a Saturday.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  Great, okay.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  Which I also have heard, so that's a true fact.

• 28:43Speaker 05

  Okay, that's true.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  So.

• 28:44Speaker 05

  So this is the next.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  You've got this, yeah, go on, Joe.

• 28:46Speaker 05

  I'm holding in my hand this week's fact check, and this comes from Hayley, and she's asked, is it true that you can't feed ducks bread?

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Well, I have done.

• 28:56Speaker 05

  So have I.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  So. So we're going to go for a break and sit tight.

• 29:04Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 29:04Speaker 04

  While we come back and say that that is true.

• 29:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:13Speaker 06

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• 29:46Speaker 00

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• 30:18Speaker 07

  Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.

• 30:19Speaker 08

  And I'm Marco Bortella.

• 30:21Speaker 07

  And this is Boots Off.

• 30:24Speaker 08

  We are friends who've spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.

• 30:32Speaker 07

  And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.

• 30:39Speaker 08

  This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.

• 30:42Speaker 07

  The adventures that lead to adversity.

• 30:44Speaker 08

  And how life can be one big adventure in itself.

• 30:47Speaker 07

  Listen every Thursday, just search for Boots Off.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  Right, while we were internally discussing. About the ducks. About the ducks. But then we got on to a little subject there.

• 31:11Speaker 04

  Lily May. Do you like Lily May or do you just like Lily? Lily May. Lily May. It was new to me, right, this thing. And I sat there quietly because I was waiting till we started recording again to bring this up. Lily May, I can't remember how we got into this discussion. She said, when you really force down the standby, the off button on a television, you feel like you're suffocating the television. I don't know what that means.

• 31:37Speaker 04

  I don't know what that means at all whatsoever, but I think it's fascinating. Yeah. Right? And also, it made me think of the generation below us, right? Yeah. Explain to them the on off button on the television now. Yeah. Right? Yeah. My kids, they've got their own TV. They've got their own, they've got, they've got what we call the playroom in our house. They've got their whole fucking room dedicated to these spoiled little dickheads, right? Yeah, yeah. And I, not yesterday, the day before, they were going to me, da da da da da. And I went, do you want to just go and sit in the playroom and just watch some television? Like, just go and relax, right? I'm busy doing something at the moment, something important. Yeah.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  Right? Go and watch some TV. You've got, I've built a whole room dedicated for you to be able to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, then, one of them said, oh, he lost the remote to the television, so we can't put it on anymore. And I went, how long has this gone on for? They're like, it's been a while. And I went, what?

• 32:44Speaker 04

  So now, because they haven't got the remote control, they're just looking at the TV going, well, fucking, I don't know. That's amazing. But I don't know what suffocating the television means.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  Modern equivalent is.

• 32:55Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 32:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know. You have to hold it down. Yeah, I know.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  So you're squeezing the life out of it.

• 33:04Speaker 05

  Now, I know what you mean. It's like you're saying, it's like it's going, it's not too late to change your mind. And you're like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like, do you know, it's like, it's like it's saying, it's still not too late.

• 33:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can't, you can stop this now.

• 33:19Speaker 05

  You can stop this now. You can walk away.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  You are terminated.

• 33:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:24Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  No, I do get it now, actually.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  Right, what were we talking about before the break there? It was Sharon, I think, with Crispus. No, sorry.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  No, Sharon was the.

• 33:37Speaker 05

  She was the example of the person.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  However, instead of looking up and thinking about what we were supposed to talk about.

• 33:43Speaker 05

  We had, we dealt with the, with Lily May's.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  I just would like to answer Sharon. I would like to give Sharon an answer.

• 33:51Speaker 05

  You want to answer Sharon?

• 33:52Speaker 04

  This hypothetical woman that doesn't exist.

• 33:55Speaker 05

  Yeah. Do crisps always go out of date?

• 33:58Speaker 04

  I asked Chat GPT. They've got to change that fucking name.

• 34:04Speaker 05

  GPT.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  It's too, it's too much, man. Make it like, just, just make it Biff or something like that. Just.

• 34:13Speaker 05

  What is G, what is, what is it?

• 34:15Speaker 04

  Chat G.

• 34:18Speaker 05

  Every letter, you're like, what is it?

• 34:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. They've got to change that. I think they will rebrand that eventually. Anyway, I said, do British crisps always go out of date on a Saturday?

• 34:32Speaker 04

  Chat GPT said, ha. That's how it kicks off my message back. Yes, that's actually true. And it's one of those wonderfully quirky British things. Cause we're so quirky and wonderful. I think that's how the rest of the world.

• 34:47Speaker 05

  I don't want an AI telling me that.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  I think that's how the rest of the world describes us, don't they?

• 34:51Speaker 05

  Oh, they're so quirky.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  They're so wonderfully quirky.

• 34:53Speaker 05

  They're so quirky.

• 34:53Speaker 04

  Can we have independence? They, it says here.

• 34:58Speaker 04

  Crisps in the UK usually have a best before date that always lands on a Saturday. It's not because they magically spoil quicker after the weekend, it's just an industry standard.

• 35:11Speaker 05

  It's an industry standard.

• 35:12Speaker 04

  There you go. So thanks, Sharon.

• 35:15Speaker 05

  Hello, Sharon.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  Thank you, Sharon. But what was the actual, who was it?

• 35:18Speaker 05

  The actual one was to check for Haley, is it true that you can't feed ducks bread?

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Right, it's, I fed Doug ducks bread. I used to go to Parslow's Park.

• 35:31Speaker 05

  I just thought that was what I ate.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  When I grew up, I used to take a loaf of bread with me.

• 35:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  And feed the ducks and the swans.

• 35:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:39Speaker 04

  In the duck pond.

• 35:40Speaker 05

  Yeah. Um, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's, that's, that's what I.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  What's wrong with feeding ducks beef burgers?

• 35:47Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  That's from Partridge. You fill their belly full of fat, they, they float better.

• 35:58Speaker 05

  I mean.

• 35:59Speaker 04

  That's Chris Morris.

• 36:00Speaker 05

  When I go to my, uh, local park that has ducks, it now seems to be the case that they discourage feeding bread to ducks because it's actually not very good for them. Uh, and they sell a specialist kind of duck food.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Feed.

• 36:14Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  I'm gonna be honest, man.

• 36:16Speaker 05

  Strictly speaking, you, you should feed them the correct food that you can generally buy from the kiosk that will be next door to the pond.

• 36:24Speaker 04

  Nah, nah, mate. That's, that's just, that's big duck food.

• 36:28Speaker 05

  It might, yes.

• 36:29Speaker 04

  That's all the big duck food corporations.

• 36:32Speaker 05

  It could be lobbyists.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Because, because I grew up and I was under the impression where if I didn't feed these ducks, they were gonna fucking die.

• 36:40Speaker 05

  Well, I was under that impression as well. I was like, God, if we haven't fed them for a while.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  It's a good job, yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, we went down to the duck pond recently.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  And I would take a lot, we'd buy a loaf, a loaf.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  Before I went to this duck pond. You're like, not just a couple of slices.

• 36:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  And I would spend hours there just ripping off small pieces.

• 36:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  And throwing them to the ducks.

• 37:00Speaker 05

  We now do buy a bucket. When I, this is normally when I'm at my parents' house with my daughter and like, we buy this bucket of duck food. That is supposed to be, you know, good for them. But sometimes they are so bored of being fed. Like, we went down there the other day and literally as they genuinely just.

• 37:18Speaker 04

  They want a burger. They do want a burger.

• 37:19Speaker 05

  They literally all flew off. Like, I was standing with my, holding my daughter's hand and I was like, I'm really sorry. I don't know what to say, but all the ducks were just flying away.

• 37:26Speaker 04

  They're, they're gone. Uh, the bread thing is not true. The bread thing is not true. Joe, I'm sorry. I know that you got some information, but that was, that was skewed information from someone trying to sell you rather than spend, going to Happy Shopper and spending 20p on a loaf of bread. Someone, they're, what, they're chucking you seven, eight quid?

• 37:47Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, I.

• 37:48Speaker 04

  How much money are you spending on duck feed at this special kiosk?

• 37:52Speaker 05

  I, I don't know. It seems to me that probably the bread is not, is not the best thing for them.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  What's wrong with it?

• 37:58Speaker 05

  But I suppose it's basically it's.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  All right, brown bread. I'll get him brown bread.

• 38:03Speaker 05

  Maybe the, I think the truth is I don't, I don't know.

• 38:08Speaker 04

  What I'm telling you.

• 38:09Speaker 05

  Okay, all right, yeah.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  I'm telling you, it's absolutely fine to feed ducks bread.

• 38:13Speaker 05

  Right, that's what we're amazingly saying.

• 38:16Speaker 04

  Go out there, they need your bread, go and feed it to them.

• 38:19Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  I'm being told that I need to say, that I need to say once again that maybe our facts aren't true. Yeah, I, we've, we've got a problem here already.

• 38:28Speaker 05

  We have no problem. No, no, I just think if there's, if there's health and safety involved, then we should probably say.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  I can only say so many times throughout the episode that, by the way, what I say may or may not be true.

• 38:40Speaker 05

  All right.

• 38:40Speaker 04

  Even though I call it a fact.

• 38:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:45Speaker 05

  My fact is that, uh, if you're worried about germs using toilets.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:54Speaker 05

  Um, if you're worried about germs, you should use the first cubicle in the row because it's likely to be the least.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  All right.

• 39:01Speaker 05

  Used.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  I'm going to tell you something else.

• 39:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, go on.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm go, where did you get that?

• 39:07Speaker 05

  I got it.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  Is that something you just, were just told?

• 39:09Speaker 05

  It's something that I, uh, almost, almost word for word read.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  Because.

• 39:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  I've been told, so you go into a public toilet.

• 39:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 04

  And there's a row of cubicles. Pick a middle one.

• 39:24Speaker 05

  Right.

• 39:25Speaker 04

  Because either the first or the last is one that on average.

• 39:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:32Speaker 04

  People, for some reason, feel that's the one to go like.

• 39:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, the last I can understand.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  I'm getting into psychology here, Joe's like, I don't want to get into it too deeply.

• 39:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 39:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:44Speaker 04

  Because, but I'm just giving, I'm just, I'm just brushing over it.

• 39:47Speaker 05

  With the first, you're kind of closest.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  But.

• 39:51Speaker 05

  To the real world.

• 39:52Speaker 04

  I reckon if you were to ask someone who's an expert in this, Darren Brown, maybe we can get him on the phone at some point.

• 39:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  What is the least used cubicle in a public toilet? He'll say people will usually go either the first or the last. They will avoid the middle because.

• 40:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  There's something about the middle that people go, no, I don't have anything to do with that.

• 40:14Speaker 05

  Well, you want an end of terrace, don't you? That's what you, I mean, it, mid terrace is fun.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, you want to have a, you want to have an extra bit.

• 40:21Speaker 05

  Ideally, you want neighbours on both sides.

• 40:23Speaker 04

  You want to have an extra bit to your driveway, don't you?

• 40:25Speaker 05

  Exactly, yeah, exactly, yeah. You always get a little bit, maybe you get the turret.

• 40:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:29Speaker 05

  Or something, do you know what I mean? Yeah, so, yeah, so I think that.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  But you're saying use, do use.

• 40:35Speaker 05

  Well, again, I mean, this is just something.

• 40:36Speaker 04

  If you're trying to avoid germs, use the first cubicle.

• 40:38Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, this is, this is, yeah, yeah, that's what it said, yeah.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  All right.

• 40:43Speaker 05

  I mean, I, I don't know whether that's, I, I, I definitely think that if you're choosing to use, although I do sometimes choose to use.

• 40:51Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 40:52Speaker 05

  One of the middle ones.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  I do now because I, because.

• 40:55Speaker 05

  Because you heard that, so that's the thing, isn't it? It's getting, it's kind of.

• 41:00Speaker 05

  Yeah. Doing one of those things.

• 41:02Speaker 04

  But listener, but if you're listening to this, have a little think and I bet you're sitting there going, I do use the first. I do use the first, like if they're all empty.

• 41:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  If they're all empty and you've got a choice, you can pick whatever cubicle you want. Statistically, you're either going to go for the first or the last.

• 41:21Speaker 05

  I can see the last.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Again, don't, there's just something I've heard.

• 41:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, but it's funny that we, it's funny that we are a, that we are, you know, sat at loggerheads on this.

• 41:32Speaker 04

  Well, you say funny.

• 41:36Speaker 05

  It's so.

• 41:38Speaker 04

  For want of a better word.

• 41:38Speaker 05

  For want of a better word. Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 04

  Shall we leave it there?

• 41:44Speaker 05

  Maybe we will.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're getting the nods.

• 41:46Speaker 05

  We didn't really get very much out of that, did we? But I, I think, don't use one of the middle ones is what we're saying.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  Um, you.

• 41:51Speaker 05

  No, do use the middle one.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:54Speaker 05

  Just use the one that looks cleanest, that hasn't got a shit on top of the seat.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  At, at the end of every podcast, um, we've been advised to maybe summarize what we've just been talking about.

• 42:05Speaker 05

  There's not going to be anything.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  It's not, no, we can't, I can't.

• 42:08Speaker 05

  That's all right, it's fine.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  I can't even begin to, to know where to start with where, where we've been. I don't think it's necessary. Well, I've, it's not something that I'm going to be taking away as information.

• 42:19Speaker 05

  No.

• 42:19Speaker 04

  But I am now gonna go and do some research into ducks and bread.

• 42:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:25Speaker 04

  And try and find some kind of definitive.

• 42:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:29Speaker 04

  Because, uh, like, they got, what's bread gonna do to a duck?

• 42:34Speaker 05

  I suppose the implication is that it's maybe a bit too rich. They're, they're, they're not really designed to, to digest this stuff. And you might make a similar point about, you know, human, human beings. And maybe we probably eat too much.

• 42:46Speaker 04

  But I would argue to the duck, I would say, well, you fucking feed yourself then. If you know, if you know what you're supposed to be eating.

• 42:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, they choose to eat it.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  Grubs and, well, I don't know.

• 42:55Speaker 05

  Well, it's, yes, it's, yeah.

• 42:56Speaker 04

  Water boatmen or whatever they're called.

• 42:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, water boatmen, yeah. They're pond skaters.

• 43:01Speaker 04

  Again, pond skaters.

• 43:03Speaker 05

  What do they eat?

• 43:04Speaker 04

  Ask, ask one of my kids what a pond skater is. They'd look at you like you were a prick.

• 43:09Speaker 05

  Yeah. But I think that's really sad.

• 43:11Speaker 04

  This country.

• 43:15Speaker 05

  Half our three episodes, two of them have basically ended with shit.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 43:18Speaker 07

  Yeah, sorry.

• 43:19Speaker 05

  No, it's fine. It's.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Um.

• 43:21Speaker 07

  It just keeps coming up.

• 43:22Speaker 05

  That's fine. It does keep coming up. And I suppose we bear some responsibility for that.

• 43:26Speaker 04

  Full responsibility, surely.

• 43:30Speaker 05

  Let's not say full. Never say.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Never, what, what did Queen, what did Queen say?

• 43:35Speaker 05

  Never complain, never explain.

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:38Speaker 05

  No, that, no, the Queen said that.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:40Speaker 05

  I thought you said Queen.

• 43:44Speaker 04

  I remember it. It was like.

• 43:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:50Speaker 04

  Never complain.

• 43:55Speaker 05

  Do, do, do. Never complain, explain.

• 44:00Speaker 04

  Joe, Joe, I am, I am all fact out. I'm fact out as well. We do hope that you've learned something or had a nice time.

• 44:11Speaker 04

  Doesn't necessarily need to be both, but we'll be back next week. Armed with more facts, chats and craps. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us.

• 44:24Speaker 04

  There's a bit of me that dies. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true for you or to you, on you, or whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us. You can email us, hello at joeandjamespod.com. You can send us a WhatsApp on 078 220 343 330. I need the caps.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  Our WhatsApp is 07- I don't remember mine the cap.

• 45:00Speaker 04

  Ages ago. That's why we need Oscar Wilde. What was his name? No. Oswald Lawrence. Oswald Lawrence. You can send us out, you can send us a WhatsApp on 078 220 343 330. And of course, our socials are all at joeandjamespod.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  And if you need that information in a way that makes sense, you can head to the description.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  It will obviously be more legible than what I've just spoken then. Hey, listen, right, legible, I went with legible. Legible's all right. I went, I groped for a word there, legible came up, that was it. Yeah, you know, for want of a better word.

• 45:43Speaker 04

  Right, goodbye everyone, that was a podcast, we did it. Bye, bye, yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 06

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• 47:00Speaker 09

  I'm Claire Buckley, and this Halloween on my podcast, Pretty Scary, we are going to cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts, and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved, and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit and search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.