James' Bowel Betrayal

James is on edge after a precariously taken laxative, Joe reveals he had the same trainer Jason Statham and the boys challenge Christopher Nolan for his next project after The Odyssey GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Some travellers want the charm of an independent hotel. Others want the confidence of a trusted global brand. With Series by Marriott, you get both. Each property is uniquely connected to its destination, delivering local experiences and memorable stays, while being backed by the quality, reliability and Marriott Bonvoy benefits travellers know and trust. Experience the destination without the compromise. Series by Marriott is part of Marriott Bonvoy. Book direct at Marriott.com or on the Marriott Bonvoy app.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  She was just 22 years old with millions of fans and a glittering future ahead of her. On Dead Famous, we uncover the horrifying murder of rising star Christina Grimm. In June 2016, the former voice contestant had just finished performing in Orlando when a stranger approached her with a gun. Moments later, the young singer lay dying. But who was her killer? And why had he travelled hundreds of miles to take her life? Such Dead Famous unfollow now, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Okay, right, you've got, you've got some stuff, haven't you?

• 1:06Speaker 03

  Quickly set out my stall.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09Speaker 03

  For how today's gonna go.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  I've been constipated.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  I've been constipated for a few days. I've also been quite busy. Right? I actually don't know.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  It's helpful then.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  I actually don't know when the last time I took a shit was. I've forgotten. Right? Today is the, even though.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  Records don't go about that far.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Even though I've had to come into London and we're doing this and stuff. Today's, out of all, the whole week, today's been the most convenient day for me to take a little laxative.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  Right, okay.

• 1:38Speaker 03

  I took a tablet last night. Apparently, I was supposed to go when I wake up.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  And it hasn't happened yet.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  It's not happened yet.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  Now my stomach is doing somersaults right now.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, just say you're playing with fire, barely.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  This is what Claire was saying. Claire was like, you know, you, you got, like, don't take a laxative if you've got to get on a train, right?

• 1:59Speaker 04

  Well, can we, can we just chat? How are you feeling bowel wise?

• 2:02Speaker 03

  I, I'm, I'm, I'm. I feel like I'm about to have a false alarm.

• 2:08Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Cause I did just spend about 10 minutes on the toilet before Joe turned up.

• 2:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  And nothing was happening. So I'm just gonna wait until I really feel like I need to go.

• 2:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:21Speaker 03

  And see how that works out for me.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  That's an exciting element to today.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, good, good, yeah. Billy May said it's like 24.

• 2:31Speaker 03

  I can just imagine it, all those different sections of the screen.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  So not, not, not only are you taking a laxative.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Have you taken a laxative, but.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  You're also entering into this with an attitude of it's probably a false alarm.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Even, so you're like a person who like knows that there's likely to be a fire in the building, but also has decided to treat the fire alarm as though it's probably a false alarm.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a, there's a.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  It's an amazing.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  There is, where, where are we? Where would we say? Amber? We're at Amber. Terrorist attack imminent.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  But I'm still ignoring the alarms.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Oh, shut up.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  Still going.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  This will all be for nothing.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  You've hit the iceberg, but you're still going. And you've actually seen the hole in the side of the Titanic.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  I've seen the hole there, yeah.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  And you're like, come on.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  I'll wait.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Call that a hole? I'll wait a bit.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Everyone's going, shall we evacuate? And I'm going, hold off. Let's not, let's see how far we can get first.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  People said they waited, but in a way, what could they do but wait on the Titanic?

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Of course they're waiting. They're in the middle of the fucking ocean.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  When was it? April? When the Titanic sank.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  It was cold, I'll tell you that.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was the problem. That was the big problem.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  She goes, she goes, Jack.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  Off into the water.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  Well, that's a script up to do, isn't it?

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, yeah.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Paint me like you're French girls.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. He's all frozen in there, isn't he?

• 4:03Speaker 03

  Well, you've got some.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  The boat are coming, Rose, the boats.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  You've got some experience with fucking really cold water.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  Certainly have.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Dangerously cold water.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  I was in cold water all the time on the old.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  On the Inbetweeners.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, you got plucked out the sea at one point as well, didn't you?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  I was pulled out of the sea by a helicopter.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  I remember you saying it really hurt.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  They put these Hessian straps on you. And I know this is a first world problem. But like, when they are, they do dig in.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  If I was drowning, I'd almost be like, oh, just pop me back. Cause it's digging in. I'd, I'd just, I'd just drown.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  Someone did ask if you actually jumped in the sea in the Inbetweeners movie.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  I, I certainly did, and I learned how to dive.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  You learned how to dive?

• 4:54Speaker 02

  I learned how to dive and it was a really interesting experience because I think that sport and acting have quite a lot of crossover because I think they're both primarily about focus. And my coach, who was a high level, like Olympic level coach, I think he knew that.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  He trained Statham.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  He did train Statham.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I remember that. I remember him saying that.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  He did. He, he.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  A, a, and, and then he, and then he trained me.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  So he's trained both ends of the acting spectrum.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  But he knew that, I think he was dealing with a bit of a sort of flighty horse with me.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  Right.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  He was like, whoa, whoa. And one day I turned up to the pool and he just looked me in the eye and went, yeah, not today, go home.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Go home, it's not happening today. You could just say I wasn't with it, it was good.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  You could tell you weren't there.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  It's not much of a motivation to get in the zone if you get to go home.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  Don't worry.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Well, you're not today, leave it. Yeah, yeah. At some point, he's gonna have to be like, well, you're not in the zone, but we're gonna have, I have been told to teach you how to dive.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  My kid, my kid plays ice hockey and I've been sort of talking to him about,

• 6:13Speaker 03

  this might make you laugh, about mentality and, and what you should be thinking about and what's important.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  We all need it. Every, yeah, if you neglect that area, you, it will, it will find you out in the end.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  And it's, you know, how to handle a loss and things like that.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  And, and I was saying things like, you know, what, what's important now is not to worry about what the referees did or what the other team were doing. And maybe, maybe things were unfair, just purely focus on yourself. Look at yourself and just be like, was there anything I could have done better today? And I'm sure, like in most situations, there always is. You could always do, have done better, couldn't you? And he was a bit like, oh, what do you know? You're an actor. What do you know about sports and da, da, da? And I was like, well, to be fair, to be fair. Wind your neck in, son, to be fair. I've carved a little bit of success out of one of the most famously competitive industries in the world.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  So I know a little bit about what it takes. And I also know what, what it takes to fail as well.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  I'm an expert in failure. If anyone needs any, like, I can tell you how to, you know.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  I'm so used to it. It's like water off a duck's back for me.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Doing shit and stuff. It's just another day.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  I just find that with acting, the reason I found it confusing when I first started to do it is that all the kind of metrics seem, the metrics that I thought applied at school, basically, seem to have completely vanished. And now there's a whole other set of metrics, which were honestly to do with like, are you able to make yourself relax? And the answer was like, fucking hell, no. And like, are you able to choose to kind of just place your focus on one thing? And again, it was like, absolutely not. No, my brain will, it tells me what to focus on. And it's those sort of skills that I think are probably there in sport as well. And particularly the individual sports.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  And I think maybe particularly tennis. I know there's, there's a certain amount of sort of writing about tennis and that pressure. I think tennis is one of those, you can be, yeah, I, every single point, you have to be as good as any other point. Like if, if I was put into a football team, like me.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  And the football team was winning 10-0 and it was the 10th minute of injury time, that we would still win, right? It's not possible for me to be shit enough for that to go wrong. Whereas if I was put into like a tennis match where the player is two sets up and five games to love up and 40 love up, I'd lose.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Probably, yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  So, but yeah, but what I mean is, is like.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Was it you? Someone was telling me.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  But if you suddenly, if, if your mental, if, if you have a kind of mental collapse at that point and you're reduced to the level of like me. All your work will go away. So I suppose it's like you have to.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Someone was telling me.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  You have to not feel that pressure.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  I feel like tennis is always one that people talk about in sports. Uh, uh, like that some, was it you? It might be you. Someone was telling me about a study that they did on tennis players. Basically, if you're in the top 50 or 100, if you're in the top 100 tennis players in the world, right?

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  You're really good at tennis.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  There's not really that much difference between one and 100.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  The thing that people studied on was how

• 10:05Speaker 03

  personalities react to going a set, that losing a set.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was, yeah. And, and about like which, which points you win, right? Was this the thing?

• 10:14Speaker 03

  I don't know. It was just about how you can, if, if you're better at handling a setback.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Then you'll probably go on to, to win. It's not necessarily about your ability as a tennis player. It's more about how you can handle going, oh, I'm 40 love down now.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  What do I do?

• 10:36Speaker 03

  What a cold open.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Pretty cold.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  It's chilling. We've not got.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Cold as ice.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  We've definitely not got 15 minutes there.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Let me go through some stuff here.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Well, I've got, I've got the certificates.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  Well done.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, we should definitely be, what, yeah, that should be first order of business.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, but your arse was.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, my arse will dip in and out of the next two records, I'm sure. It's the next two episodes.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  There they are. Yes, gold.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  So we do, these are the, these are the special certificates.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  And you can feel that good card.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  They are.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  You can feel that's good. I mean, you wouldn't, yeah.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  They are definitely.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  You wouldn't want that. Also, if you print it out on my printer, it'd just be like, it, it's, it's in a permanent condition of having run out of one of the inks. So you just get lines across it.

• 11:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Do you know that thing?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Feel it. Ink is well expensive.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  I can't, I haven't got that kind of money.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  They lock you in, man. That's how they get you. You buy a printer.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  And they're like, oh, you.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  That's cheap.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  And then you go down the road of like, oh, I'll get the aftermarket part. I'll get the cheap version of it. And it's not the same. It doesn't work. Um, but these are our certificates, um, which me and Joe will be signing.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  There we are.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  Um.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Oh, no. And once everyone gets in touch, I'll, I'll send them off.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  And I don't.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Have they still not got in touch?

• 11:59Speaker 04

  I haven't checked everyone, but I can't see anyone's. Oh, the episode's not gone out yet.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, has it? Oh, yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, no one's gone out.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Oh, that's, God, that's, that's a relief.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Time's weird, isn't it?

• 12:09Speaker 04

  Time is weird.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  It is, it is strange. I'm, I'm getting it.

• 12:12Speaker 04

  Write up on it as well. I didn't, obviously I wasn't here, but you didn't write up the winner on the, on the World Up chart.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  I tell you what, why didn't we do that? That was one thing we definitely should have done.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  I think.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  You weren't here, Lily May. It did go a bit sideways.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  I, I listened back and it sounded fabulous.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Um.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  Oh, good.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  Except for the bit when you thought I'd died.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  That was clear.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Well, no, but it was, we were following along. I mean, it was really, um, it was quite, um.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  We were getting updates.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  It was almost like, I don't know whether you, it was a bit like following the, the, the flight of OJ Simpson.

• 12:44Speaker 04

  Very similar.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Do you raise it? Like, it was like, where is she now? I mean, it wasn't as exciting.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  And also, you know, I don't.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Was anyone holding signs up as your train was crawling past? It wasn't even moving, was it, the train?

• 12:56Speaker 04

  It wasn't moving for a long.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  No, it wasn't moving at all.

• 13:03Speaker 00

  Some travellers want the charm of an independent hotel. Others want the confidence of a trusted global brand. With Series by Marriott, you get both. Each property is uniquely connected to its destination, delivering local experiences and memorable stays, while being backed by the quality, reliability and Marriott Bonvoy benefits travellers know and trust. Experience the destination without the compromise. Series by Marriott is part of Marriott Bonvoy. Book direct at marriott.com or on the Marriott Bonvoy app.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  She was just 22 years old, with millions of fans and a glittering future ahead of her. On Dead Famous, we uncover the horrifying murder of rising star Christina Grimm. In June 2016, the former voice contestant had just finished performing in Orlando when a stranger approached her with a gun. Moments later, the young singer lay dying. But who was her killer? And why had he travelled hundreds of miles to take her life? Search Dead Famous and follow now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  I've been watching, um, I'm halfway through Tom Hanks's great big comprehensive World War Two.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  World War Two.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  Documentary.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Enjoying it?

• 14:18Speaker 03

  It's well good, mate.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Is he Private Ryan? Was he Private Ryan?

• 14:22Speaker 03

  He was in Private Ryan. So, or say, he was in Saving Private Ryan, I should say. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  That was, that was Brokeback Mountain.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  I'm not sure how close they got, to be honest with you.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  He was in Saving Private Ryan, wasn't he?

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Do they find him in the end?

• 14:37Speaker 03

  They did, yeah. Matt Damon. That's that joke, isn't it?

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  Everyone's trying to save Matt Damon. Everyone's trying to sort of get Matt Damon back.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Sure. Cause he's either Private Ryan or he's Bourne.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Or he's in a, on Mars and everyone's just trying to get him back.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  I want to watch that film, The Martian, and there's no reason why I can't.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  Why have you not watched that?

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Because I live with Hannah.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  And she thinks it sounds a bit boring.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Oh, it's really good.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  And I'm like, and also the bit I'm really looking forward to is the bit where he fertilises the plants with his own poo.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  Oh, it's great.

• 15:07Speaker 02

  And I can understand that that is quite a sort of, I don't want to be gendered about it, but I think that's quite a boy thing to be into. I think I find that quite, I poo's on the plants.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  You'd be in luck. You'd finally, like, you'd be. No, I know. Imagine this. This could be a matter of life and death.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. Yeah, I just need to.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  I know. Honestly, Matt Damon would not be thanking you.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  No.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  He'd be like, didn't you get a better quality of laxative? My radishes are, I don't know what he grows, but I mean, it's, I, I, I, you know, I'm looking forward to it. What else, what else do I want to see? Um, Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  That looks good, doesn't it?

• 15:43Speaker 03

  It's gonna be good. There's no way it won't be good.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  How's that not gonna be good?

• 15:45Speaker 03

  It's got too much going on in there. Too many good people in it.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  Nolan at the helm. And also, this is what I'd like to say about Nolan, to be fair.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  He, he assembles this amazing cast all the time and he's meant to be this great director. Take a chance on me, mate. See how good you are then. If you really want to fucking challenge yourself, try and get a performance out of someone.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  Nolan, I'm available.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  Or are you too scared?

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  It's fine if you are. You see, if you haven't got the bollocks, mate, you can, you can just, you can keep doing your films with Damon and Spider-Man and stuff like that.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, keep winning it with, you know, Vinnie Jr. And all the rest, but come and get Barnett out of the National League.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  South.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Oh, Killian Murphy won, won an Oscar. Of course he did. He's a great actor.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  Piece of piss. Try and get me to play Oppenheimer. That'd be a weird film.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Well, I, I'm, I'm not gonna, I haven't watched Oppenheimer.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  Have you not watched it?

• 16:49Speaker 02

  I won't watch it until you are in the title role. And I, this, you know, this, so we're talking about Killian Murphy.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  Go on. We fancy him, don't we?

• 16:59Speaker 02

  I think he's beautiful. That's who I'd, yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Me and Joe spent a whole afternoon once, I think, on the Saturday in between us or something like that, just going, how fucking, like, he's pretty. He's a pretty man.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  I fancy it. It's fine. Um, and, um, that's what I'd, that's what I'd most like to look like, actually. Although Hannah, so she doesn't, to be fair to Hannah, thank you. I assume she's lying, but she was like, no, I don't, I don't see it.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  So that's nice. It's a nice thing of her to say.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  You're a handsome man.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  You've, I've always felt you were the McCartney of the, of the in-betweeners.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Thank you. Well, that's very sweet.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  One that all the girls wanted to look after.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Yesterday.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Oh, come here. All right.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Can I tell you something else that I've been thinking about?

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  Cause I don't think we've mentioned the Ricky Gervais podcast for a few episodes.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  But we better.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  But I've been thinking that we need some sort of audience participation, competition, a rockbusters.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Something like that. And then I was thinking, maybe we could make that the competition. Where people tell us their game and what it is, and we, we decide whether we're good or not.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Whether, yeah, okay, yeah.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Now, I've come up with some games, don't know the formats. I just know the titles, because I feel like that's how Phil can do it.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  You've come up with some names and you're challenging our audience to tell us what these are.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, one of them, I have come up with a format, actually.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Well, so you're maybe, you're entering the competition as well?

• 18:42Speaker 03

  A little bit, yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Well, I'm giving some examples. Here's a thing that I just wrote down. Um, games of frowns.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  That's.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Not sure what it'd be.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  No, I like that.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Right?

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Games of frowns.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. And not game of frowns.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  No, games of frowns. Games of frowns, yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  I don't know what.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  Games of frowns is brilliant. Yeah, that's really good.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Top Trumps. People just send us in their best Trump impression.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  Oh, I really thought it was gonna be the other end of.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Fast.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  Oh, I see.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Or, well, that could be that. Or, again, same format, but a bit more retro. Beat around the bush.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Where you send in your best junior or senior bush.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Impression.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  Um, and then I've got.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  I like it because they, they really are title first. Like, it's.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I've got another one here, no format. Um, can't judge a book by its clover.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's good as well. Yeah.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  I thought it might be something to do with Ireland or something.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. Books about, like, sent, yeah, book about Ireland. Best books about Ireland.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Oh, here's, here comes Angela's ashes. But wait a minute, who's this?

• 20:02Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  We could get down.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Roddy Doyle, ha, ha, ha. Is that it? No, that's not what it's called. Oh, yeah. What's it called? There's, there was a quote about.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  We'll work on it.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. Roddy Doyle's, Roddy Doyle's the name of Paddy Clark, ha, ha, ha, by somebody. And the quote on the front was, out Roddy Doyle's Roddy Doyle. And I, I used to look at that quote and I didn't know, I didn't know what it meant for ages.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Right. Back to his brilliant best.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Out Roddy.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  That's the thing.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, but out Roddy Doyle's, so, but what it means is the book was better at being Roddy Doyle than Roddy Doyle is. So it's like, this out Roddy Doyle's Roddy Doyle.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Right. Who's Roddy Doyle? Sorry, Joe.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  I think Roddy Doyle.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  I missed the beginning of this.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Did he write Angela's ashes or is that another? Irish, Irish kind of stuff was really in vogue.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  We've lost, when we've lost Lily May.

• 20:58Speaker 04

  What's your question for me? Was there a question for me then?

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Who wrote, who wrote Paddy Clark, ha, ha, ha?

• 21:06Speaker 04

  That is, uh, Roddy Doyle.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  That is Roddy Doyle.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  That is Roddy Doyle.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  What the fuck did I say then?

• 21:11Speaker 03

  I don't know. I, I, I, I, I've never been so lost in a conversation before in my life.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  So the review of Paddy Clark, ha, ha, ha.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  I know, you can say it again.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, but it was that it's, it's better than Roddy Doyle.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Right.

• 21:23Speaker 02

  But it's by Roddy Doyle.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Yeah. Roddy Doyle, out Roddy Doyle's himself.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  Out Roddy Doyle's, out Roddy Doyle, Roddy Doyle. It's like one of those buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo. Have you heard, have you heard that, Lily May?

• 21:37Speaker 04

  No.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  The eight buffaloes in a row.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  It's a sentence. It's a sentence.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  How?

• 21:42Speaker 03

  We're going really.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  We are going a bit, but let me, um, let me say.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  That Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo is actually a grammatically correct sentence. Once you know that Buffalo is a verb and also a place in New York state. What it means is Buffalo Buffalo that are Buffalo'd by other Buffalo that come from Buffalo, also themselves Buffalo Buffalo that come from Buffalo.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Right.

• 22:23Speaker 04

  Well, I thought we could call this feature that you've just invented James Games.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  James Games, yeah. Yeah, let us know in the comments. Obviously, you've got to come up with the title first and then you've got to do a bit more work than me because we need the format as well. And we'll, we'll pick our favourite ones.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  I really like Games of Frowns.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  Games of Frowns. If you've got a format for that.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Hmm. I'm all ears.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Let us know in the comments. The Inbetweeners has been in the public consciousness again recently.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. What for?

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Um, I've already spoke about this.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Don't think so.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Um, I love it when the Inbetweeners, even though it's so old, but it's still sort of has infected different areas of, of society. Um, we had a guy who was a pundit on the World Cup, American guy.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  That said, full kit wanker live on television. Um, someone, I can't remember exactly what happened. Someone was, because that.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Is this because Americans aren't really, they don't really know about the word wanker?

• 23:30Speaker 03

  They sort of refuse to realise that wanker can be quite a rude word. Um, but still, uh, would change the American version of the Inbetweeners to bust herds for some reason.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Bust herds.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Even though apparently, even though apparently wanker's absolutely fine over there.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  So was he, he was using it as a cuss?

• 23:47Speaker 03

  No, it was him, Zlatan, Thierry Henry, I think. Um, and a female presenter, who I don't know the name of, and I don't know his name either. So don't get me on for being sexist or whatever.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  He's sexist and racist, if anything.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Or American.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  She was what? She was British.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  No, what I mean is you don't know the American guy's name.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  No, I don't know his name.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  So that's, you know, you're like King George the third.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  He said, um.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  Oh, it was James Corden.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  He was saying something about James Corden. I didn't, I don't know what James Corden had done, but they, I think they must have come back from a VT or something like that.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  And he was just like, haha, what do you guys call them? Full kit wankers?

• 24:33Speaker 03

  And, uh, and everyone else, because Zlatan and Thierry, they're, they've been in Britain, you know, for, at points during their career.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Oh, yes. Full kit wankers. Is that, is that, is that a bloody, um, is that Garry and Stacey?

• 24:48Speaker 03

  I don't know. I don't know, but something wankers.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Okay, something wank, and then the full kit, as in wearing the full kit is weird.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  Not, don't wear the socks.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Something wankers, that's, that's the Inbetweeners. We did that, didn't we?

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  Briefcase wanker.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  We came up with that.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Bus stop wanker.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  We.

• 25:04Speaker 04

  It was on the Fox coverage, by the way.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was.

• 25:06Speaker 04

  And it was Rebecca Lowe and Alexi La- Lalas.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Alexi Lalas, yeah. He, he was the kind of, um, he was the one that everyone knew from the last World Cup that was in, that was in America in 1994.

• 25:19Speaker 03

  Right.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  I believe he had, he was quite striking. Does he? He has red hair and he had a red beard and he was called Alexi Lalas, uh, and, which is quite a memorable name somehow. And.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  No, he didn't have a.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Did he not?

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Well, he didn't.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Alexi Lalas.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  Not in that shot.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Not in that, but he did. I think he did. Um.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  But he said, he said, so, you know, the Inbetweeners.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Did you see Wimbledon as well? Lots of people have sent me a video of someone saying, oh, sorry, uh, in Wimbledon this year as well.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  What for?

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Uh, I can't remember what had happened. I think there was a, there was a decision, I think. I'm not sure people were showing, but then there's a, there's a bit of silence and then there's an all sorry.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  Knocking around.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  Absolutely amazing.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  We were in the, um, Jamie Vardy Netflix documentary.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Is he watching the Inbetweeners?

• 26:06Speaker 03

  He calls his friend group, his gang, they're called the Inbetweeners.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Really?

• 26:11Speaker 03

  They call, they call each other the Inbetweeners. And it, because it was like, oh, um, you know, Jamie Vardy, I was trying to find Jamie. I didn't know where he was. And it was like, oh, you better go down the pub, he'll be with the Inbetweeners. That's his like core group of like childhood friends. They call each other the Inbetweeners.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  So this isn't like, this isn't like that.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  And they showed a clip.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  They're not footballers. They're just.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  No, they're just blokes. They're just his mates.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  It's nice.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  Um, and they showed a clip of the Inbetweeners. And then obviously there's the famous Jamie Vardy in the tunnel where he goes, um, where, um, is it, uh, who's Peter Schmeichel's kid's name?

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Oh, Casper Schmeichel.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Casper Schmeichel. I think I might be getting this all wrong, but he, he sort of like shakes hand with one of the other players because they're both from Denmark. And Vardy just goes, oh, Danish friends.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  And I just like it. I love seeing, I get, honestly, I swell with pride when I see little Inbetweenersy sort of quotes and things, just getting into the fabric of different, um, parts of, of, you know, society, of different parts of sort of, um, relevance, I suppose.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  It's nice to know still going.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Vardy's doing a lot of it on his own. I mean, he's.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Vardy's flying the flag.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Vardy's actually, you know.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, he, he's doing, he's doing the lion's share. We just did a couple of other people, you know, Lalas and whoever.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  You know? Yeah. Full, yeah, okay. So it's, yeah, full kit wankers. So they don't, it's funny when there are swear words that are like, people know their swear words, but they're like, but they don't think that they're as serious as another country thinks they're is. I swear that in Australia, they just used to say like shit as though that was just, just like saying poo.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Well, yeah.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  And obviously everyone says, I don't think it's really shit, but everyone says about like, like people from Glasgow that like, they just say cunt as a kind of like.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Same with Australia.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But I think it's funny, it's funny to acknowledge that it is a swear.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  Twice. Unbelievable. Is that mine?

• 28:20Speaker 03

  It's not mine. It's not mine.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Oh God, it is mine. It's my tablet.

• 28:25Speaker 04

  Oh, your tablet?

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Oh, his tablet's fucking shit, to be honest.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  What's it, what?

• 28:31Speaker 02

  I don't know what it's doing. That's the most annoying noise. Is that, was?

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Yeah. Or is it a kinder or something?

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Because we've been on holiday and we had it on the plane for my daughter to watch Teletubbies on and, uh.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  Is that still going?

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Just a bit, mate. Yeah.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Teletubbies?

• 28:51Speaker 02

  They've zinged it up now. The Teletubbies have their own pets now. Um, they're called the Teeny Tubbies, I think.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a little in that, obviously you're familiar with Home Dome, which is where they live.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. Not anymore though.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Don't they?

• 29:09Speaker 03

  Well, no, I mean, but it's.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  A bit like the Shire, isn't it?

• 29:11Speaker 03

  I assume it's a studio. I assume it's a studio now because they used to film it, they filmed all those exterior things on someone's farm.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Did they?

• 29:21Speaker 03

  And I think the bloke, I might be misremembering, the bloke got so fed up with people, um, going to Teletubby Hill, whatever it's called.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  Um, that he flattened the hill on his farm.

• 29:32Speaker 02

  He flattened Home Dome. That's terrible. Well, that's a bit of a dick move, I think.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  And the baby, the baby.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  So he destroyed the Teletubby's home?

• 29:41Speaker 03

  The baby in the sun.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  She's about 52 now or something.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Is that a girl? I thought it was a boy.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  I think it's a girl because they always, um, yeah.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  They always sort of, um, every couple of years, they bring that story out in the papers. It's like, oh, do you remember the baby from Teletubbies? This is what she looks like now? And I'm like, oh yeah, she looks a couple, couple of years older from the last time you fucking showed her.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?

• 30:04Speaker 04

  And the farm, the farm thing is true.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  Okay. Well, they, they've, I suspect they're now mixing in bits of, as they say, CGI with it.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  But the, yeah, the Teletubbies now have a separate kind of pen in Home Dome where four other small creatures live. And these are, I think they're called the Teeny Tubbies.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Right. Have they still got that mental Hoover thing?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think it's called, is it called Vuvu?

• 30:40Speaker 03

  The guy had the mental Hoover and they kept eating like pink sludge out of bowls and shit.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  They eat this, they eat this stuff called Tubby Custard.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Oh, that used to look so good.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  I thought it looked a bit wet.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  I'd like my custard to have a little bit more.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  Appealing to me.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  It didn't like, look like it had enough corn flour.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  What was that stuff that you used to, it was like powder? You'd have it with like ice cream or something. What was it?

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Angel Delight.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  Or was it Angel Delight? Yeah.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  It wasn't, it was just, that was its own.

• 31:07Speaker 04

  Are they the Tidley Tubbies?

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Oh, the Tidley Tubbies.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  The Tidley Tubbies?

• 31:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:11Speaker 04

  Well, I was gonna say, as we've done this with many fours, if you saw the Inbetweeners as Teletubbies.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Where are you going with who?

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Oh, Will's Poe, obviously, because he's small.

• 31:21Speaker 03

  Right, yeah. Well, Tinky Winky's Blake.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Tinky Winky's Blake. Just doing his real name.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Not even, not even characters now.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Well, I famously can't remember the characters' names.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  They do start to fade.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, Blake's definitely Tinky Winky.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Will's Poe.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  I think I'm La La, because the yellow, yellow car, there's something yellow about Simon and you're, you're dipsy.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  The wild one.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  The shagger.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  That's how they pitched it. I think when they pitched it, they were like, look, one of them's a bit of a shagger.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  Um, and, um, he's a bit, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, ah, but, um, anyway, they've got, they take care of these other little things. I mean, it's, so that was, anyway, that's what that noise is. I'm very sorry about that. And I'm sorry that I, I'm normally, that bag has been, um, around with me everywhere for the last week. And, um.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Well, I did want to.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  That tablet loses charge fucking quickly, I'll say that.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  I did want to talk to you about your, uh, holiday.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  I think we should, yeah, I think we should save it for the next one. I'm just cautious of time. We should get into the main app, I think.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  Okay, let's get to the main app. Right, I'll, I'll pick up the, uh, the iPad.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  The tablet.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Ah, look at this. Just looking at this, checking it out.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  Going to print layout.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, exploring, exploring yourself.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  Oh, Christ.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  And Asia.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  You've charmed me.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  You've charmed me, yeah. Twenty-five years? Yesterday, the twenty-fifth anniversary of, as of recording. Yesterday was the twenty-fifth anniversary of.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  Hmm. Gonna say it. Best sitcom ever made?

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Yes, I agree.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  It's a tussle for me between that and Only Fools, especially early Only Fools. Um, but yeah, fucking hell, The Office, twenty-five years, Jesus.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  Right, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up, a podcast loosely about facts. Yeah, we've got to bring our own facts in again now.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  I've got one.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  We're not doing the world up.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  I've got one.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  I've got one, and I've purposely just kept it quite quick, but I'll do mine. Mine one comes next episode, right? There's no discussion with mine. It's just like, oh, that's good.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Mine's quite quick as well.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  Perfect.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Um, it's more about the chats, though, on this podcast, of course.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  No one likes the facts.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  The chits and the chats.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 03

  Um, load of old chits.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Uh, if you want to get in touch with us, our email is hello at joandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330, and you can follow us on our socials, at Joe and James Pods, and you can watch our episodes in full on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search the Joe and James Fact Up. We don't do episodes on Spotify, uh, Spotify anymore.

• 34:04Speaker 04

  We do, they're all on Spotify. The video isn't on Spotify.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  It was briefly, though, wasn't it?

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Yes, we did a brief experiment. Uh, videos and stuff that we've, the systems don't all sing together on all platforms, so we're working on it. But when it is available, we'll put them all on Spotify.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Now, let's get fact up.

• 34:31Speaker 00

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• 36:05Speaker 02

  All right, so.

• 36:06Speaker 03

  Straight in, Joe.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  Straight in. It's time for Pun Believable.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Have we not got a jingle?

• 36:12Speaker 02

  We've got the jingle, but we're.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  Close and post.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  They'll hear it.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  I can play it if you want.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  I like to hear it. It gets me in the mood.

• 36:19Speaker 04

  Let me grab, let me grab the, let me grab the jingle for you.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Same for Claire as well. I always chuck the.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  When things are going well, when we've had a pleasant afternoon, I think, oh, if this keeps going, at evening time, I chuck, I chuck the, uh, pun believable.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Jingle on the, on the hi-fi.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  Let me make sure.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Light a fire.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Pour some champagne.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  You know, you don't need me to tell you what happens next.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  I think the band Boyzone is a pun on Boyzone. Course it is. Match of the day is a pun on catch of the day. Fucking hell. I didn't realise that Girls Aloud was a pun for a while, as in girls are allowed in this club too. And people say, you know, there's no new land left to discover. Well, in the mind there is, is, is.

• 37:06Speaker 06

  Unbelievable, Jeff.

• 37:11Speaker 04

  There you go. You feeling in the mood now?

• 37:13Speaker 03

  Good.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  We're both in the mood. Um, and, um, I hope it doesn't bring on the shits. I mean, that's, that's, uh, my.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  I hope it does.

• 37:22Speaker 04

  In a way, it's a good experience to find out what does. Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  This is a feature I created, and I asked for you to send in puns that it took you, it says they're a bit too long to understand. I mean, I suppose, yeah, I mean, puns that it suddenly dawned on you.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  You were like, oh my God, all along, it was there in plain sight.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  That's what that sentence.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  It does sort of, but I think too long, I'm not sure, there feels like there's a judgement there.

• 37:46Speaker 03

  No, well, there is.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  That was, I actually took that from, from verbatim from your mouth.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Is that what else?

• 37:52Speaker 02

  No, that, in that case.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  There's no judgement, but it's, it's sort of, uh, it's a thing that we're all guilty of, and we can all laugh at each other about.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Exactly, yeah, yeah. It's, it's what makes us human in the end. Um, and, um.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  Hit me with the first one.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Okay, so this is, um, this is from Amy via, uh, the Fact Up WhatsApp. And it goes like this, all right, lads, Amy here, got a pun believable for you. Unfortunately, I fear it is so very obvious as a pun that it will reveal me as a full-on idiot.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  No.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Definitely not. Anyway, we're all friends here, so fingers crossed someone else missed it.

• 38:27Speaker 03

  That's what I said.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Here goes. So, Charli XCX, her surname thing of XCX is a pun, and it actually spells out sex when you say it out loud.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Charli XCX.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  I only realised this last week. Let me know what you reckon. Cheers, lads. P.S. I'm not going to blow smoke up your arse, saying how brilliant the podcast is, because who needs that?

• 38:46Speaker 03

  We do.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  Well, please do say it, because it's never been said. The truth is that I like it enough to be a regular listener, and I think that's enough.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  That is enough.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Well, that is enough. Thank you very much, Amy. And so, first of all, it doesn't reveal you as a full-on idiot, because I, I didn't know that.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Right. I know, I've heard of the name Charli XCX.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've heard of it too.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Don't know who that is, though.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:05Speaker 04

  You'd, so you didn't know about Brat Summer last year?

• 39:08Speaker 02

  I've heard of, I've heard of Brat, I've heard of Brat Summer.

• 39:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's Charli XCX.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Brat Summer, that went over, that's gone over my head, that one.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Her thing is like, her kind of mode of being is brat. I'm a brat. And, I don't know.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Why is that appealing?

• 39:23Speaker 04

  But it was like, it was like an era, so she, she released this album, it was massive, everyone was saying it's a brat summer. But now she's like, she's done the Wuthering Heights soundtrack since then. She's in the next couple of weeks releasing a new, new album as well. But that was the thing that like made her super famous.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  And her thing is, is I'm a brat and I'm proud.

• 39:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of like an attitude, yeah. I guess like the Brat Dolls, it's kind of more of like a, a lifestyle and an attitude, party girl kind of vibes.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  I'm looking forward to cunt summer.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  I'm just a bit of a cunt. Who's with me? Yeah, we're all.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Dickhead Autumn. Here I come.

• 39:59Speaker 04

  I don't think we've had anything for this summer yet, so I think we could make.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Is it available?

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Let's get cunt summer going.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Cunt summer, okay, so me and James are trying to cunt summer.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  Well, we've got to make a hit song now, haven't we?

• 40:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  It's a cunt summer. That's how it'd go.

• 40:13Speaker 04

  It's a cruel summer.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  Um, XCX.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  No, so it sounds like XCX.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Is this something that Amy's just decided in her head?

• 40:22Speaker 02

  XCX.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  Because wouldn't she just be Charli CX?

• 40:26Speaker 02

  XCX.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Why, why does she need to be XCX?

• 40:29Speaker 02

  This is like one of those things you do on the calculator where it spells out boobies when you do it upside down.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  Yeah? So it's that.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Just, look at this. Don't be old.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Boobs.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Um, well, I mean, yeah, so I, I, I, I, I, I, I suppose it's true. But I don't think it's, I don't think it's, I don't think it's obvious.

• 40:52Speaker 03

  I don't think it's obvious at all whatsoever. Also, Charli XCX hasn't become a part, it's not someone I've thought about much.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  I like it. This is, this is a good one.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  What's her, what's her song? Would I know her song?

• 41:07Speaker 04

  360.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  How's that go, Lily May?

• 41:10Speaker 04

  Hmm, yeah, you'd like to know, wouldn't you?

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Um.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  Hmm. She, she did a song for the Barbie soundtrack as well.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  Did you, did you watch that?

• 41:20Speaker 03

  Never seen the Barbie film.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Speed Drive. Apple, Apple was a big song.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  Apple?

• 41:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. Mm-hmm. Boom clap, do you know that one?

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Boom clap.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  That's an old one.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  Wowee, man, I'm just not, there's so much stuff where I'm just like, I'm not on the same planet as everyone else.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  She did a song with, um, Lorde called Girls So Confusing.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  Right. I know Lorde.

• 41:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's good.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  I know Lorde.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  There's a couple of songs, a couple of songs off Lorde's first album that I genuinely really like.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  Good album, to be fair.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  Um. I'm old. What can I say?

• 41:56Speaker 04

  Do you want me to play a bit of one of them?

• 41:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe play.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  I don't want to.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  No.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  I don't want to hear it.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  No, all right. Well, Steve's.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  It annoys me. I hate young people.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Steve's got another pun believable for us, so let's just get stuck in.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  Um, Steve, Amy, thank you for that, really interesting. And XCX, XCX.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  I feel sorry for Amy.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  It's definitely true. You're so, I mean, but, um.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  I feel a bit sorry for Amy because I don't know who Charli XCX is, so I don't know what they do.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  I've seen it, you know, if you're saying, calling yourself Charli XCX, does that annoy me? Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, isn't, it is, it is, it is very close to will I am territory.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Like, first, you know, give yourself.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Oh, another one I hate, Machine Gun Kelly.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  And it's this fucking bloke that does look like Neil from The Inbetweeners.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  It feels like they, yeah.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  And I'm like, just because you call yourself Machine Gun Kelly, and Kelly's a girl's name, by the way, um, doesn't make you tough.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  I'm calling him out. Let's do a Misfits boxing thing. Me and Machine Gun Kelly.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  He's going out with Megan Fox, or he was, anyway.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  He was going out with Megan Fox?

• 43:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Christ.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  Doing all right for himself.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  Good for him. Fucking hell. Does work then.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, so.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  I'm just a tough guy.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  What do they call me? They call me Machine Gun Kelly.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  He's got a load of neck tattoos.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Course he has. Course he fucking has. I got tattoos on my neck.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  I got the words machine gun in my name. That's all you need to know about me, babe. Hey, Megan Fox.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  I know you're looking at me now thinking, get away from me, but have you heard my name's Machine Gun Kelly?

• 43:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. Getting a tattoo, I think it's the hardest thing a man can do. You know, I look at, like, some guys go and like risk their lives on the frontline and stuff, but I think.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Getting a tattoo.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  The real men.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, that means you're really tough. Yeah. Um, what's Steve got to say?

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Steve, anyway, cheers, Amy. Steve, uh, via Fact Up email. Does this count? Quite a good opening.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Does this count? It'd be quite a good name for like an Edinburgh show. Um, went out for lunch with my mum the other day and she ordered an appetizer as an appetizer.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  It's a drink, innit?

• 44:22Speaker 02

  I think perhaps not as an appetizer, but, but certainly. Yeah.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  I believe she ordered an appetizer. Made me sit there for a moment and think whether or not this was worth mentioning to you guys. Oh, suffice to say, I thought it was.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  This is a nice, very self, self referential.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  We get so many emails of people putting their thought, like.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Okay. I thought about writing an email and I thought, well, crumbs I will.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  And so, and so here we are.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  So, uh, yeah, so, um, suffice to say, I thought it was worth mentioning as it blew my mind slightly.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  That slightly blew my mind.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  Love the pun. It was nice.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Appetizer.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I suppose it sounds like appetizer.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  I think it's a good one.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  I thought it was a drink though, wasn't it?

• 45:08Speaker 04

  It is a drink.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  It is a drink.

• 45:10Speaker 04

  It is a drink.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  So it's definitely a pun on, I mean, I would say maybe, listen, his mum is free to have a, a drink as a start. I believe an appetizer, to me, an appetizer is a starter.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  But, you know, you can have, you know, a coke as a starter.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Isn't an appetizer before the starter?

• 45:27Speaker 02

  I think it's, to be honest, it's an, I, I think it's an American word. I mean, I, I would always just say like starter, main course and.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Dessert.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Whereas they call like the, the main course, the entree, don't they?

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, the entree.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Which is weird because entree surely means the first, the entrance. So I would have thought that's the first thing.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, you have a starter, an entree.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  A starter and then an entree or an appetizer. You have an appetizer, then an entree. And then, I don't know what they say after that.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  Well, some places have, they have a, like a fish course, don't they? Or.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  Um, and then a dessert and a coffee course or a cheese course.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, they might have, yeah.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Not the places I eat.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, neither do I.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  They, I get, I, I mainly get my food served to me in buckets these days.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  And that's why your arse is pumped up.

• 46:10Speaker 03

  I'm so fucking clogged up at the moment. Stop eating your food out of buckets, James. You might be a bit healthier. Your gut might be a bit healthier. Have a bucket of chicken, please. How much chicken do you want? How much can you fit in a bucket?

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Moving on to troughs soon.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Although I do like those, I've never been and I do really wanna go to, uh, I think there's a couple in London actually, those sort of seafoody places where they just dump the food. It's, it's in a bucket. And then it gets just dumped on your table. And you just have to eat it like a Viking or something.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  And you get given gloves, don't you, for some of those?

• 46:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Oh, to break up the.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Get like crab legs and stuff.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Break up the crab legs and so on.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  A boil.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  Like a, like sort of you're in Louisiana or something. I'd love that. Gotta go to one of those. Um, appetizer, appetizer.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  You know what? I think it is a pun believable. It's, and it's actually one that I've encountered on my travels as well.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  I've, it's occurred, as in it's occurred to me. I've thought, yeah, I see. Um, I've seen them around since I was a child, appetizers. Always quite posh. There was, it's kind of like, we would, we'd, we'd want to have an appetizer.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  It was one of the things that my parents would have said was overpriced.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Um, I think, well, it's a soft drink came to adults and I think because of that it was a bit more expensive. So we'd say, can we have an appetizer?

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  And they'd say, you know, have a squash or something.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  I remember when we, when I'd go on a family holiday, I think, I think I only went on like two family holidays abroad. And when we, when we went abroad on a family holiday, um, my, the rule was that I was only allowed one coke or fizzy drink. And then I was on waters for the rest of the meal.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Cause it was a budget. It was a budget.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  And I think my dad was furious that coke cost more than beer.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  So what, he's bought your beer?

• 48:05Speaker 03

  So he was just, no, he was just, you know, it was, it was one, one rule for him, one rule for me.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Or whatever.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Cause he wasn't just having one beer, believe me. And then he was on holiday. He was there to, you know, sink a few pints.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  But I think he was like, costs more than beer. Can you believe that? Coca-Cola, it costs more than beer.

• 48:24Speaker 02

  That is quite something for the Coca Cola that costs more than beer. I don't know what's happened there. But that's.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  I just think the beer's really cheap. That's what, um, I've still got mates that are so excited about how cheap beer is when you go to Spain or something like that.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 48:39Speaker 03

  It's like ninety pence, ninety pence a pint, that.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Fucking hell.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:43Speaker 03

  Which means we can have a hundred of them.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. Just keep, keep the money the same and just raise the alcohol content until you hit your target. Um, so.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Good, unbelievable, Steve.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  Good one. Um.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  I think we've got one more.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  I've, and as I say, I've, I've heard that and it occurred to me as well. Of course it's a pun on appetizer. It's a classic, unbelievable. Thank you, Steve. And then the next one is Benjamin via the, via fact up email.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. Again, not, I'll let you read. I just read ahead a little bit.

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Hello, dears. That's nice. I like all these greetings. They're, they're, they're really good. I finally realized the punning brilliance of Shaun the Sheep. Yeah. This is good as well. Perhaps 20 years after first hearing the name. After I made my, after I myself made the joke to my friend Shaun, who had just had a haircut. Shaun, I asked rather witterly, I thought. A lightning bolt of realization. The kind of realization which makes you want to run out into the street and dance a jig. I didn't because I was at work and after work, the moment had passed.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  Again, just lots of explanations.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  No, I like this. It's like, it's, you know, this, they're all quite granular. They're like, well, what actually, what comprises a moment? Well, I'll tell you, this is an example of a moment and, um, I like it. Cheers. Loving the plot. Yours, Benjamin. Lovely, lovely little email.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  And, um, and lovely little unbelievable.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  It is, that's a perfect unbelievable. And again, no judgment. We're all friends here. That's something that I picked up on as soon as I heard the words Shaun the Sheep.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Right, okay, yeah.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  But it's nice, but that is it. That is it. It's something that's so obvious, that should be so obvious, but it, it takes you a bit of time to go. And he had to do a whole other thing. He had to, his friend Shaun had a haircut.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  And that's when he managed to sort of connect the dots.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  That's a perfect unbelievable.

• 50:32Speaker 02

  It's a perfect unbelievable and, um, I really appreciate it and I please keep them coming in because they're fucking everywhere and they're just everywhere.

• 50:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, we've got to start.

• 50:43Speaker 04

  Someone sent us a voice note and, um, they called it pun intentional.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  Pun intentional, yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 04

  That is better.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  That is, yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 04

  But we've gone with.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  No, but we can't be taking, okay, look, I don't mind people writing in, but I don't want, I know, I know the things are better than this.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  I actually think they did it by accident as well. I think it was pun intentional that they, they called it pun intentional.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Bloody hell.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  Yeah. Anyway.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  Um, hey, Joe.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Shall we move on to fact check?

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Let's move on to fact check.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Um, it is time for fact check. Can. Do, no jingle? I've not got a jingle for that.

• 51:19Speaker 04

  No jingle for fact check as, as yet.

• 51:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  It's quite sort of sober fact check. It's kind of like, it's like a court, essentially it's a court.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  It's a serious.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  There's not like a sort of jazz band playing in the background.

• 51:31Speaker 03

  It's serious business. Um, this is where we'll be reading a fact. Absolutely. This is where we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Then we're gonna have a good old think during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us. And to decide whether it passes our fact check. So this week's fact check comes from Jessica, who filled in our fact up form.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Still not seen this form. Um.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Fantastic.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  But they said, uh, but, uh, Jessica has said, hi guys. My fun fact has always been that when you die, get cremated or buried, any metalwork you have in your body, metal hips, knees, gets reused.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  No. And they are most commonly turned into road signs. And my follow up question is, what road sign would you want to be? Mine would be, beware humps ahead.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  Please let me know if this is true, as I have probably told 80 people that this is true over the years. Well, we're gonna get on the case. Let's have a little ad break and, um, we'll let you know our thoughts, Jessica.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  Right. That was a huge gulp of tea.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, um, it's completely cold now.

• 52:48Speaker 03

  Right. Yeah.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  But I, I committed to it. Can I just say while we're here, what's this thing about people who don't finish cups of tea?

• 52:55Speaker 03

  Fucking, my wife and kids don't.

• 52:57Speaker 04

  I'm one of them.

• 52:58Speaker 03

  My wife and kids don't. I think there's bits in the bottom or something. I, I've got a real problem with tea.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  There's nothing in the top. There's nothing in the bottom. There's nothing in the middle.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  I know it's a hill, um, alone on.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  You just don't like cups of tea?

• 53:10Speaker 03

  I just think it's such a big faff and there's so much, like.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  The, like, between Claire and my two kids, that, they must have about 25 cups of tea.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Between them a day. And there's an argument. Oh, it's your turn. It's your turn to do the, I did the last one. You do the teas this time. They're fucking arguing about the teas. And then, um, they start to make the tea and then they come back a little bit and they're like, oh, I've got to leave it. It's just doing its magic or whatever it is. Yeah.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  And then, and then you've got to get the milk from the fridge and.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  And then if I've had some milk, like if I've had some milk, it's like, that was, that was supposed to be for the tea. It's like, but it's just milk, innit? We all drink it. Then we, I've, I've wanted some cereal.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think it's not like Homer using the, the drinking water to wash his socks when they're on the boat.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Like it's, that, that your use is as legitimate as theirs.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so. But apparently the, the tea is almighty. No one messes with the precious tea. And if there's only a little bit of milk, you've got to save that, um, for the tea because the tea. So I could have the milk if I was gonna put it in tea. That wouldn't be a problem. It'd be like, oh, well, we've made tea with it. It was like, oh, you just had, you had cereal. Uh, what else am I supposed to do?

• 54:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Um.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  I think it's because tea without milk is.

• 54:29Speaker 04

  It's like A Day Without Sunshine.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  Is that a song?

• 54:33Speaker 04

  Just a phrase.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  It's like Simon, Simon Without Garfunkel.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Right.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  And I, but no, tea without milk is a really weird thing.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Yeah. It can taste nice depending on the tea. I have had it before when I've been really desperate for a tea.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  I think I, I don't know. I can, I can see coffee without milk, but I, I mean. Tea without milk. Very strange indeed.

• 54:59Speaker 03

  Um, but yeah, no, what was Jessica?

• 55:01Speaker 02

  So Jessica, I mean, this is, this is a really.

• 55:04Speaker 04

  Have we got back into, have we got back?

• 55:06Speaker 02

  We're getting back into fact check now. So this is really amazing. Actually, we, we veered off for some reason, but. I know it's because I had a drink of tea.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, just as we were coming back there, you downed your tea.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  I was drinking tea.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Right. Jessica wants to know about um metal in our bodies and it gets reused once we're dead.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  When you get cremated or buried.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't think buried.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  Not when you're buried.

• 55:27Speaker 03

  They're not gonna chop up, they're not gonna desecrate a body.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  Also, they have to come back fifty years later.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  I know, it's like fucking.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  They, yeah, they're all, they, they're not gonna do it before. Maybe, yeah.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  Maybe in the French Revolution.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or in the World War Two and it was like, oh, turn me into a spitfire, dear boy.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Right. But I don't think, I don't think you'd get to someone's hip.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  Bloody hell, though. I mean, it's, it's quite the thought and the idea that they're um, that they're going into road signs.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  This is all very specific. I'm not, I'm just.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  I can see that maybe it's like you just need something where it's kind of, road signs are like they're municipal. It's like it's poor quality metal. You just want, like, cheapo metal doesn't really matter. You're not, you know, you're not gonna make. Yeah, I'd be a bit annoyed if I was on a seven four seven and I found out it would just be made out of like people's bits of old um metal from their hips and stuff.

• 56:26Speaker 03

  Knees or something, yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  Um, but um.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  I don't think it's true.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  Just, ah, it's, it's a nice idea, though. And, and it's the idea that like, um, you know, even maybe if you'd been a leader in life, you can be a leader in death.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  I like the idea.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  Do you know which one I'd be? I'd just be, I'd be any sign that basically says wait.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  Wait.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  Because I'm just quite slow. I'd be like, just, hang on.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  I'd like to be, what sign would I be?

• 56:53Speaker 03

  I'd like to be just a street sign.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  Just a normal street sign.

• 56:57Speaker 03

  Just a normal street sign.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Well, you know what I'd be? I'd be. You know the ones where it's like speed limit now over and now you can just drive at the national speed limit and you're like, oh.

• 57:08Speaker 03

  Where your speed limit ends.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. Something to do with freedom.

• 57:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  Basically. So I think that's what people think about me. They're like, Joe, if he's anything, he's a kind of.

• 57:19Speaker 03

  Be either speed up or, or wait.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just, but not, not something where you, you know, not something, not something that's sort of telling you. What's the worst road sign? What's the very, very worst one?

• 57:34Speaker 03

  The stop sign. We don't have many of them.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  We don't have many. We have them occasionally.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  They're all over the place in America.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  And you're, and you're a totally empty intersection.

• 57:43Speaker 03

  I've driven a lot.

• 57:44Speaker 02

  Completely stopped.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've driven a lot in America and when there's a four-way stop sign, I'm still not a hundred percent. What the fuck I'm supposed to do.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Apparently it's whoever got there first. But I keep arriving at the stop sign the same time as someone else comes to their stop sign. And I look at them and go, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know who goes between me and you.

• 58:11Speaker 04

  Well, dad, if you go first, especially you, James, should you not go for give way?

• 58:15Speaker 03

  Give way.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  Give way.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  I'd like to give way right now, to be honest with you. I'd like something to give. I feel really sluggish and everything. I've felt like it for a few days now. I can feel myself sort of, I think being constipated makes you stupid.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  I've been like driving the wrong direction and stuff when I got in the car to go to places.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  I don't think they'll allow you to use my, your anus as an excuse for that.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  My, my brain just goes on autopilot and I end up going and I, I come out my house and I turn left and I go, oh no, I was actually going the other way. I've done it a couple of times over the last few days. It's really, and I think it's down to being constipated.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah, I, I can see that it, it, it, it might um.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  It might actually begin to, yeah, affect your.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  She feels sluggish and slow.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  Feel a bit less mentally agile.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely. And I'm not that in the, on my good days. I mean, I had a Barocca on the way in today to try and sort of combat it.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah. You're doing what you can. Listen, you're doing everything you can.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  It's just that the gut is not.

• 59:22Speaker 03

  Gut's not performing.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  Not meeting you halfway.

• 59:25Speaker 03

  My body is shit.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  Well, no, I'm sure, you, you feel like, I feel like you take better care of your body than you, than you used to, maybe.

• 59:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:34Speaker 02

  I felt like your diet on the Inbetweeners was extremely poor.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  Hmm, it's still.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  It's still quite poor.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  It's still really poor.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  Okay. Do you, I mean, do you honestly have, you should, you should, I take um dietary fibre, but yeah, psyllium husk.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've got, I do have a big part of it.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  It's really worth it. Take it every night. It, because I have a, I have a bad diet, so I don't eat enough vegetables. And so what I do now is I just get up in the morning and I just eat a load of raw vegetables.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Um, it's boring.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  Just get it.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna go out vegetables, but it is boring. Just, but just get it down, yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Carrot, pepper, cucumber.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  It's the great, it's the great, it's the green ones that are meant to be the best for you, aren't they?

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  Alkaline.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  I just hate anything green.

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  The crustate, no, the cruciferous vegetables. Broccoli, cauliflower, most foods acidic. That's why when you add bicarbonate of soda to stuff, it bubbles. So bicarbonate of soda is alkaline. So you would think, well, it would only bub, you get bubbles when an acid and alkaline react, right? That's, that's like your, you know, your kind of classic bubbly reaction you get in, in chemistry lessons.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Oxygen, oxygen.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think it's oxygen being released.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Well, maybe it's CO2, but, but anyway. So you, you would think, well, how do you know that the bicarbonate of soda is actually gonna react? Because what if the food isn't acidic? And the truth is, almost every food is acidic.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  So if you're trying to ma, ma, ma, balance it out. You can't have a completely alkaline diet because you don't eat about three things, but you can just eat the occasional alkaline food. Anyway, this is a diet that was trendy a few years ago and I don't know whether it still is trendy. And I don't know whether it really mattered that food's acidic. I know it sounds bad, but like, maybe it's all right.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  Maybe.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  You can't just stop having stuff because it sounds like you, you're like, I don't like the sound of that anymore, acid.

• 1:01:30Speaker 03

  The science changes all the time, doesn't it as well?

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  I think with, I think when it comes to food advice, there's quite a lot of changeability. And um, my thing is just, you should eat twenty sausages a day and nothing else. And, and um, I'm gonna stick with that, tried and tested.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Uh, but.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  We've got to get back to Jessica.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  Jessica is so good and we keep on cutting away from it to, I would honestly say dross, but um, it's weird. I mean, I love that idea. I, why on earth is it, why is it road signs of, of all, in particular?

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  I know, I, I.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  I would say it's because it's low quality metal and it's um, you know, it's, it's your bog standard metal, something you don't mind being maybe not completely pure.

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  I can see it maybe for cremated.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Not burying, that's, no, that's not happening. That's crazy. Like, they're not, they're not chopping it out before you get buried.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  That's desecration of the corpse.

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  That's just getting a corpse and they're certainly not waiting until you've, you know, rotted away and then they're digging it up again. But maybe it's um, look, as long as they're not taking it down the scrap metal dealers and exchanging it for cash, right with all that. Like, that would annoy me.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  You know, I don't want to end up in a pile with a load of like copper wiring that someone's nicked off the railway.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  Um.

• 1:02:40Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, there you go. So my, well, what, and what was your, what was your sign?

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  I, I can't remember. I can't remember. I'll just write, just a street.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Oh, you just said a street sign.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Oh, a street name, yeah, that's good.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, James Road.

• 1:02:54Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know what it'd be called, but I'd like to be.

• 1:02:57Speaker 02

  They'd have to call it James Road, I think.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  I'd hope so, yeah.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  James Road.

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  Buckley's Buckley End.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  Buckley End is nice.

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  That's nice.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  Um.

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm, it's not fact for me.

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Not a fact.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I forgot we have to.

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  You agree?

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. It's lovely and everything, but I, it's not, um, I'm not buying it. I'm not buying what Jessica's selling.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  I'm.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  I'm not picking up what Jessica's putting down.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  Fair enough.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  I think I'm gonna record that kind of Scottish verdict of like not proven.

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Okay, so.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  It just feels a bit too much like, um, and I don't want to spoil it for Jessica, but it just feels a bit too much like. Believing in heaven or something. It just feels a bit like, I'd just like to know.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  That may, that after, like she said, humps ahead or something.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:44Speaker 04

  Beware humps ahead.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the one that goes whoop, whoop, like that.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:49Speaker 04

  Okay, do you want me to give you some information?

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yes, please.

• 1:03:52Speaker 04

  So she's, she's right. So right.

• 1:03:55Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:03:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  That's my tablet again. I haven't dealt with that. I'm, I'm, I'm really sorry.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  No, that's fine. Hang on. We've got to get to the bottom of this because this is blowing my mind.

• 1:04:03Speaker 04

  Um, I would say there's references. So I'm, I'm looking at a website called Secure Waste, which does this.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  Um, and they do it globally and they refer to wastage of precious metals in the body when people are buried and cremated. However, it only references here cremated bodies in terms of removal of the metals. Um, so they take things like all, all the metals in your hips, any parts, but they also remove gold and silver tooth fillings as well.

• 1:04:31Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:04:32Speaker 04

  Uh, and they've got a list of items to give the, the metals their second life. So uh, aircraft engines, auto parts for cars.

• 1:04:41Speaker 03

  You said that.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  Or new joints for other people.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Um, dental gold and silver get reused for jewellery, electronics, or again, dental restorations. Uh, platinum and palladium are for vehicle ca, um, was it catalytic converters? And then scrap metal for things like stainless steel and, and other parts of metals.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  What do I know? What do I know, Jessica?

• 1:05:05Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  So carry on.

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  Lives on.

• 1:05:06Speaker 03

  Carry on telling people that story. It's been confirmed. It's got, it's got the, the fact up seal of.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  All I would say is, are you allowed to ask for any of it back? Do they just like?

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  I'm sure you can.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  You have the gold tooth. I mean, you might want the gold back.

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm sure you can.

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  You can probably, I'm sure you can get it back. It's just if you don't claim it.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  There's people that have.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  You don't claim it. It's lost property, basically, isn't it? It's like, well, no one's come.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  I think you've got to make a point of it, but there's people that have um, like saved tattoos and stuff off of people that have died. It's sort of like.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  Well, they could make that into a road sign if it was, if you had a thing saying like, give way. Yeah.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  Uh, and they frame it.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:45Speaker 03

  There's one, there's one story, I'm, I'm basing this on base, uh, basically. Um, it was one guy that saved his dad's tattoo and framed it.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Do you know, I've got a real human skull in my kitchen.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Is that just when you're in the kitchen?

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  No, it's a genuine human head skull. It's actually quite romantic. Because it's my first girlfriend. No.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  She never knew she was your girlfriend, but um.

• 1:06:19Speaker 03

  No, my, my wife loves skulls and spooky and we've got like skulls sculptures all around the house in different, different sort of.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Presumably not real skulls.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  And you've gone, oh, Johnny, I heard you like skulls.

• 1:06:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, so.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  Look what I've got.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  Her birthday was coming up and I was like, I wonder if you can get a real human skull. So I got it. Um, it's a, it's, um, it was used as a, you know, teaching, as a teaching aid.

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  But it was retired from a school or something like that.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:06:55Speaker 04

  How old do you have to be to retire as a skull?

• 1:06:58Speaker 02

  Skull retired.

• 1:06:59Speaker 03

  I think they got new skulls in.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  They got the skull in and they went, um, sit down. Um, look, we've loved having you here.

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  It was quite expensive.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  What do you mean you've loved having me here?

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Well, look, time's a tight, mate. Come on, Malcolm.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  It was quite expensive, um, because it had all its teeth.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  Wow. Good teeth?

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  They look quite good teeth, yeah. But yeah, just got, and I, and every now and again I do go, I look up because it's up, it's up on a shelf in our kitchen. And I go, and I do, I go, it's fucking weird having a human skull in the kitchen there. Can't remember what we called him. What did we call him? Alfred? What did we call him? The kids named him. Can't remember what he's called.

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  What would he be called?

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  Horatio.

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  Isn't that that speech from?

• 1:07:51Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 1:07:52Speaker 03

  That Shakespeare thing.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  He was a fellow of infinite jest.

• 1:07:56Speaker 03

  No, what's the speech where he does it with the skull?

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, he does. He, he, there's a skull and it was like.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  Doesn't he call out to Horatio? I don't know. I don't know anything about Shakespeare.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  I don't know, but in a way, like if he was mates with him, why, how's his mate now all write it all down to a skull already?

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 1:08:14Speaker 03

  Did he discover him late, later, after a few years?

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  It's been a bit later.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  I don't even know this bloke. All the teeth as well. I can see why it was used to teach.

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  Joe, I believe we've got a bit of time for you to, uh, give us your fact.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:08:31Speaker 03

  And then I might have to run to the toilet.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  So my fact, short and sweet, is that alcohol is actually an Arabic word. Because it's Al-cho-hol. Al being like the Arabic, very, very common word for, I think, the.

• 1:08:50Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:08:50Speaker 02

  So it's like the-cho-hol. And of course, there's a certain irony in that because quite a lot of Muslim cultures don't actually consume alcohol.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  But it is, uh, an Arabic word, alcohol.

• 1:09:01Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  That's my fact.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  Hmm, that's good.

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think it's a good one. Uh, my, uh, my brother did an Arabic, uh, masters, I think. And that's the only thing I've remembered. I mean, it's fair enough, actually. I didn't do the masters.

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like your.

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  Why should I remember anything? But, um, anyway, he told me that and, um, it's always stayed with me.

• 1:09:25Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 1:09:26Speaker 02

  Okay, so.

• 1:09:27Speaker 04

  Do you need to go to the loo?

• 1:09:28Speaker 03

  I might need to go to the toilet quickly.

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  And actually tell people that in the pub because it's, you know, be fitting.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  Anyway, and it's brought on, um, James's.

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  Toilet.

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  Toilet break.

• 1:09:40Speaker 04

  Well, best of luck.

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Good luck.

• 1:09:42Speaker 04

  See you on the other side.

• 1:09:44Speaker 02

  Off he goes. One unusual moment, um.

• 1:09:47Speaker 04

  I felt like that was brewing a little while though.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  Ah, okay.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  But maybe you just got him there with the alcohol.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Off he pops.

• 1:09:58Speaker 04

  Off he poops, maybe.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  Off he poops. I hope it does happen for him now because.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm rooting for him.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I hope so. Should I call him?

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  Maybe, maybe give him a couple of minutes and then give him a call.

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:15Speaker 04

  Do you wanna, do you wanna turn your tablet down while we're here?

• 1:10:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  Did it happen?

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, sorry.

• 1:10:27Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:10:28Speaker 04

  Amazing.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  I had to take my watch off for that one.

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  Oh my god, yeah, no.

• 1:10:33Speaker 04

  Congratulations.

• 1:10:34Speaker 02

  Yes. Well.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  My god, do you feel better?

• 1:10:38Speaker 03

  I feel so much better.

• 1:10:39Speaker 04

  That's amazing.

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  My god.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Right, gotta stop having KFC four times a week.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, yes.

• 1:10:49Speaker 03

  Oh, where were we, Joe?

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  Well, um, I've told you my fact.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:10:55Speaker 02

  That alcohol is an Arabic word.

• 1:10:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:58Speaker 02

  And, um.

• 1:11:02Speaker 03

  There was a guy.

• 1:11:03Speaker 02

  I just think, yeah.

• 1:11:04Speaker 03

  Really.

• 1:11:05Speaker 04

  We've got some correspondence as well.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Um, here's a little bit of extra chip, uh, from Mike via the Fact Up WhatsApp. Mike says, hey, guys, love the pod. Just wanted to tell you a funny story that happened this week because of your podcast. I'm gonna say podcast. I don't like saying the word pod too much.

• 1:11:23Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:11:24Speaker 03

  It's demeaning. This is very serious. This is art, what we're creating here.

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:11:29Speaker 03

  Don't just call it a pod.

• 1:11:30Speaker 04

  You could just say then, uh, a story that happened this week because of your art.

• 1:11:33Speaker 03

  Thank you. Did you say art?

• 1:11:35Speaker 04

  Art.

• 1:11:36Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:11:38Speaker 04

  And the rest.

• 1:11:38Speaker 03

  Someone's gonna have a story when they go into the toilet after they, because of my art. Um, I'm currently engaged to a New Zealand girl and her aunt and uncle are staying with us. She was out with the aunt and the uncle told me that he was going to see the changing of the guard. I went out to see my mum who lives 20 minutes from me. As I walked back, I listened to the pod and heard about James's sit-down wee. As I got home, I thought I'd try it. I was happily listening away, thinking James is right. However, thinking that the uncle must still be out, I left the door open. Then I was horrified to look up and see her uncle standing there, watching me have a sitting down wee.

• 1:12:22Speaker 03

  As he walked away, I heard him say, poms are weird. I thought you'd enjoy it. Love the pod. Mike.

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 1:12:29Speaker 03

  Don't let your girlfriend's fiance's uncle put you off from having a sit-down wee. Don't let society tell you how you can and cannot shit and piss.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  That's my motto.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  Um, the body does what the body does.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  I'm just pleased that he follows your idea.

• 1:12:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, I hope he catches on. Um, also, have we got a voice note?

• 1:12:58Speaker 04

  We have.

• 1:12:58Speaker 03

  Is that right?

• 1:12:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:59Speaker 03

  From Barry.

• 1:13:00Speaker 07

  Hello, boys. Barry here. Uh, just catching up on the pod and a few weeks ago you were chatting about dribbling loads of piss out when you go to the toilet. Now, I had a problem with this. I was dribbling so much piss out that it was becoming a problem. Like, I actually found myself stinking of piss at times. Uh, and I found out that apparently if you apply a bit of pressure with a couple of fingers to the bottom of your gooch, it can relieve any built-up piss in there. And I'll be honest, it is like magic. You get your hands down there, give it a squeeze and it's like firing a water pistol. Great fun, always works. And the amount of piss in my trousers and my pants has decreased quite a bit since that time. Not all the way,

• 1:13:40Speaker 07

  but pretty much is there and I no longer find myself stinking of piss in the middle of the day. Cheers.

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  Nice one, Barry. Cheers, mate.

• 1:13:50Speaker 02

  Fantastic, mate.

• 1:13:51Speaker 03

  I love how happy he is.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  He's turned, that is.

• 1:13:54Speaker 03

  And he's realistic as well, you know, he's not gonna 100%, you know, solve the problem. Um, I assume he's got something to do with the prostate, I think.

• 1:14:01Speaker 02

  Chipper message.

• 1:14:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  And, um, it sounds like he's turned his life around. He's, he's sleeping better.

• 1:14:07Speaker 03

  Again, I would say the sit-down, the sit-down wee.

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  I like that thing though, the squeeze. I'm gonna try that.

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  The perineum.

• 1:14:15Speaker 02

  There's a perineum. You squeeze at the bottom of the, bottom of the gooch, to use, to use Barry's terminology.

• 1:14:22Speaker 03

  That's the space between your balls and your asshole, isn't it?

• 1:14:24Speaker 02

  No, he means the bottom of the, just the bottom of the shaft. Just squeeze there. I don't, don't, don't, don't go to the.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

  Willie May, where's the gooch?

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  Well, the gooch is a word. I, I think the gooch, I think he means penis. I'm sure he means penis. I don't think you should be, don't, that'd be, no, that's like.

• 1:14:40Speaker 04

  One of you try one method and one of you try the other and see.

• 1:14:42Speaker 03

  Do you know what I've forgotten to do?

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  I'll try squeezing the penis.

• 1:14:45Speaker 04

  Oh, you've not forgotten the erection thing.

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  I forgot to give myself an erection by holding my legs up.

• 1:14:50Speaker 02

  I haven't had a chance. I've, I've, I've been on holiday. It wasn't.

• 1:14:54Speaker 04

  It's a perfect time.

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  Well, no, it was a family holiday. I.

• 1:14:58Speaker 03

  You're away.

• 1:14:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, a bit more relaxed.

• 1:15:01Speaker 02

  I was.

• 1:15:02Speaker 04

  Right, okay. But next record, I want you guys to have tried that.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  Okay, fine.

• 1:15:05Speaker 03

  Well, that's gonna be difficult because we're doing that straight after this one.

• 1:15:09Speaker 04

  Okay, the next record, the next physical record.

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay. Um, hey, I'm all fact out, Joe.

• 1:15:14Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 1:15:15Speaker 03

  What the fuck have we learnt today?

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  Well.

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  We've learnt that they burn, that they take the metal out of bodies and turn them into planes.

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  Planes.

• 1:15:24Speaker 03

  And road signs and stuff. And we've learnt that if you fiddle about with your gooch, um, you'll get, you know, you'll get rid of that excess piss.

• 1:15:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, and if we could only nail down what gooch means, then we'd be away.

• 1:15:35Speaker 03

  We're golden.

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  But I'll tell you what, it's only, you climb one hill and all you see is another hill in the distance and, and, um.

• 1:15:42Speaker 03

  It's like Scotland. Um, we hope that you've learned something or had a nice time at least. Uh, we'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and holding your chaps. And don't forget, you can get in touch with us if you would like us to fact check something that feels true to you or with whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us about, uh, by emailing us, hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07822 034330. Or you can follow us on social media at joeandjamespod and head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those dis- discounts.

• 1:16:16Speaker 04

  Discounts?

• 1:16:16Speaker 03

  That's a shame, isn't it? The last word.

• 1:16:19Speaker 04

  You did a good job.

• 1:16:20Speaker 03

  Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. That's the end of an episode. Thanks.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  She was just 22 years old with millions of fans and a glittering future ahead of her. On Dead Famous, we uncover the horrifying murder of rising star Christina Grimm. In June 2016, the former voice contestant had just finished performing in Orlando when a stranger approached her with a gun. Moments later, the young singer lay dying. But who was her killer? And why he had he travelled hundreds of miles to take her life? Search Dead Famous and follow now wherever you get your podcasts.