It's Too Hot...

Joe and James sweat about the heatwaves, discuss if they've ever been near a dead body and ponder whether there's anything a dog wouldn't eat. GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:34Speaker 01

  I just keep thinking about that thing. I sort of like, I think I've mentioned it. I talk to Claire about it all the time, there's a difference between men and women.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. No, that is.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Women will be like, oh, I've obviously got an intolerance to this or, you know, or the, you know, I can't really have dairy or wheat. Whereas men just spend the rest of their lives having diarrhoea, wondering what the fuck's going wrong.

• 0:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm sure that's right.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  All right, back again.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  So we are back.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  I'm feeling a lot lighter than I did last.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, so. So last episodes, you were waiting for a shit to arrive, basically.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Had some laxatives the night before.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I know it was, I was playing with fire.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I mean, I understand that it was supposed to happen at six AM, it didn't.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. That would have been me golden then.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. But it was good and it arrived more or less as I was doing my fact, which, you know, I actually take it as a compliment. I think it was like the fact was, the fact was so interesting.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  You might take it as an insult.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I think it was almost like, almost it brought on labour.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  So in that, in that sense, it was, you know, it was a potent.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  It worked. It worked. Fact worked. How are you, JT?

• 1:50Speaker 02

  I'm all right. So I've been on holiday.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Went to Spain. So if anything, slightly, slightly cooler than.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Really? Is it something to do with?

• 2:03Speaker 02

  We're by the sea.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Something going on, yeah, we're on Ireland.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  I think there's, I think that London is.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Ah, well, I mean, so I was getting criticised last episode just because I had a tablet that kept on going off all the time.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  You sorted that?

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, what it was doing, it was reminding me that I had a podcast record. So brilliant, yeah. The machines haven't won yet, have they? Yeah?

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Ridiculous.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  PC gone mad.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Isn't it? It's health and safety gone mad.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Mac gone mad.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  God, they'll be, they'll be telling us, they'll be telling us what to do soon.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  You've got a podcast called Joe.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  So you went on, you had a little holiday. Yeah, is this, is it that the heat is hotter? Like it's a higher temperature, but it doesn't feel as hot as it does in the UK.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  I think it really helped to be by the sea and also to be on holiday. I mean, you're obviously, your routine is very different. I mean, London is not a good place for it to be hot. Like you are going, descending down into the underground. I don't mean to be dramatic, but you do descend down. Like you're going into hell.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've had, I've had things come up on Instagram recently, actually. The old algorithm is just chucking stuff up, up at me. It'd be like someone who lives in London that's originally from Pakistan or India or something like that.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  They're like, I mean, it's fucking hot in India, but this is shit. They're just like, I'm from India and I can't stand this.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is, it is funny.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  There was a, there's a mountaineer, I think it was Edmund Hillary, who'd climbed Everest and stuff. And he said the only place he'd ever felt cold was in Cambridge.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Do you think?

• 3:43Speaker 02

  And it is indeed very cold there.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Do you think he climbed mountains and stuff because of his name?

• 3:48Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Do you think he was a bit insecure?

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Because obviously while he was at school and stuff.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  They were like, oh, why don't you climb a hill?

• 3:56Speaker 01

  They'd be like, Hillary, sit down.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  You're going to stop calling me Hillary.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. So then he thought, well, I'm just gonna have to.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  I'll show them.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I'll show all those girls.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  That teased my name.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. Imagine if he called Edmund Celery. What would happen then? So he'd probably been a farmer.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Or a fruit and vegetable.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Fruit and vegetable.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Edmund Celery, Celery.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  You burn more calories saying Edmund Celery than you do actually eating it, don't you?

• 4:24Speaker 01

  I just thought of a comedy character.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  You do.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Celery Clinton.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Celery Clinton. Because it would be one of your games. Is it one of your games? You've got games of frowns.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Games.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Well, it's got the beating around the bush.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Beating around the bush or Top Trumps.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Top Trumps, yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  They're both the same game, but different presidents.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Celery Clinton.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Celery Clinton.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  So.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Very, very American politics heavy, my games.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  How does Celery Clinton work?

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Well, you have to, someone's trying to.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  I think it's a card game of some sort and when a certain hand is produced, you go Celery Clinton.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Maybe, or you're, you're, someone's trying to check your emails, see if you've done anything nefarious. And you have a bowl of celery and you need to eat all the celery before they can hack into your email account. And then you can go, no.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  No. I've finished the celery.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then, and then you go Celery Clinton.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  Both good ideas.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Cheap as chimps.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Cheap as chimps.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  How much does it cost to?

• 5:37Speaker 02

  How much does it cost to keep a chimp?

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, turns out it's not, it's, turns out it's quite expensive. So it's not cheap as chimps.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  How many bananas do they, do they eat a day? So only one. Yeah, because I only get one.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Well, it depends how many bananas they're given.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  He probably eats like twelve oranges, a bit of lettuce, two bananas and a piece of potato. You idiot.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  What happens if you eat raw potato?

• 6:07Speaker 02

  It's just not very good for you. I don't think.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Would you get sick?

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you ate loads, yeah.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, really.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  But.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  It looks like something you should be able to eat raw.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  You probably can. You might, you might find it hard to digest. If I'm chopping raw potatoes, you know, I won't, I won't, I won't switch board in order to chop something like salad. That seems excessive.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  But in theory, I do think, well, there's a bit of potato juice on there, but I'm a, I'm a sort of, I'm a pretty reckless, you know, live fast, die young sort of guy. So I just leave it. Bit of raw potato juice, whatever.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  It's the kind of stuff that Machine Gun Kelly says.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Trying to impress Megan Fox.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Do you want me to, yeah. Shall I, shall I, shall I wash the board down and just leave it?

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, just leave it.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Just leave it.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Oh God, you're so dangerous.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Look at that. What's that say?

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Why are you Machine Gun Kelly? Are you some kind of drug dealer or gangster or something? No, I'm a pop star.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. Well, how are you, you're saying you're really hard though? What's the evidence for that? Hello?

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Uh, got tattoos on my neck, mate.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  And my name is Machine Gun Kelly.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Do you own a machine gun? I don't need to.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  So how was your holiday, Joe?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, how was your holiday?

• 7:23Speaker 02

  It was really fun. Thank you. Yeah, I.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  How long?

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Just a week.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Week, nice.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  And I, yeah, really enjoyed it. I love, I love Spain. People are really nice.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  I, I, I used my, my one word of Spanish. Do you know what it is?

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Gracias.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  No, la niña.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  La niña.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  It's my daughter. So it means the, the, the female child.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  And it's also the name of the opposite weather. So El Nino, you know, the weather system.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  That, that just means the child is a male child and then la niña is like the, the one that's kind of.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  El Nino's son.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Well, I think it just means small child, small, like male child or female child, basically.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  So when I'm, so we're in a restaurant, it's like, and for a, for a la niña.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  La niña.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  So that's good.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  For the little child, for the little girl, little boy, little girl.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Exactly. So, I mean, I, I know hola and gracias, like every English person. And that's it.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  It's a bit suspicious that your main bit of Spanish is little girl.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah. Well, I know it because of the weather systems, so you're not, you're not going to get me on that, like, because I'm interested in weather. Right?

• 8:42Speaker 01

  I think it's a lot of perverted meteorologists, mate.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Going on about El Nino.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  People are like, what's all this, what's this you've been Googling? No, no, it's a weather system. And like, is it, well, no, it's not. Yeah, yeah, just change the name of the weather system too.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Why have you been searching up little boys in Spanish?

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Well, no, no, no, it's, no, it's about the, the, and the Gulf Stream and.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, a bit of weather, isn't it? Well, no, it's just, it's weather. Anyway, no, I had a lovely time and I actually did go running, I think, three times.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Why?

• 9:21Speaker 02

  Well.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  I don't like that.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  But honestly.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  You're on holiday.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  I know, I, I, I loved it. I know, but I, it, it.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  There, there was something about being there. I thought if I lived here, I think I'd get healthy.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Because you're on the front and like you.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  And like, everyone runs there, like.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  It's, it's the only time where I eat well is when I'm on the continent. Italy, Spain, everything's fresh, everything's just kind of like you sat right next to the sea where it's just where that fish has just come from.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  And it feels like it's a healthy culture. I mean, I'm, I'm sure it's, this is one tiny place in the whole of Spain, but like, like old people are out walking, jogging.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Being active, like, like from young to old, it's as though people are, have got a.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  That's a big thing in Italy, I think.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Is the sort of, the elders are respected and looked after and.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  I, I love that. I love the kind of, the broader family, like all the way up from the little babies right up to the old people. It's all like it's one, it feels like, again, it's probably just me.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Where was we?

• 10:33Speaker 02

  This is probably a version of Orientalism and we've been like, oh, it's so brilliant over there and not like here, but like, it, it does.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Oh, do you remember? Was we in?

• 10:41Speaker 02

  You know, it seems to ring true at least.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  In Mallorca, there was one night, I've got, I've just had this really vague memory where we did have like some, it looked like something out of The Godfather or something like. We were, we were in a, on a cobbled street and all sat at tables and there was some, we were eating with some local people or something. Do you remember that at all? I think we got quite drunk.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  And I was saying to you things like, we should do a documentary series about history.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Oh, I remember that. Yeah, I remember talking about.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  I remember us being on tables and there was all this sort of paella and and.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Was it a kind of everybody, everybody dining out?

• 11:22Speaker 01

  No, it was like a cast and crew thing and it was a special thing that was done for us.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  God, wow. Yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Like the town.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  Gosh.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  We were really drunk, I remember that much. There was a lot of Elvino did flow.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, Elvino, Elvino did flow. I mean, I remember, I remember the conversation afterwards about history.

• 11:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Um, so was it in, was it in, was it in, um, Palmer, Palmer, the New York?

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it was, yeah. I think so. Or it might have been Malta. Cause we went to Malta briefly.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think it was in Malta.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think I, yeah. I think it was in Malta.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that might be right. I think we were there for like two days or something like that.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Yes, I do remember that.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Malta's fascinating.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  Malta has such a kind of, I remember reading a thing once where like, they, it's got such a kind of, kind of, um, muddling up of Christianity and Islam.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  That sometimes you can go to a mass, like in, in Malta and the, the bishop or whoever he is, is like holding up this bread that's like the body of Christ, but he calls it Allah.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  So it's like, it's, it's really like, because that's like the word for God.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  And then they've got, haven't they got a really interesting language that's sort of?

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Well, I know that it was Christian for a long, long time and it was, it was a, like a fault island. Is that right? Am I right here? And it was Solomon.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's got, um.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  The Great?

• 13:06Speaker 02

  It's got a really good natural harbour at Valletta and I think the British Navy used to like going there, but that was after. It, yeah, I know what it was. It was the Knights, the Knights of St John, wasn't it? It was that. And it's.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  And they'd been there for years. They'd been there for such like centuries or something like that.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  It was probably one of those places that was like strategically important because it's in the middle of the Mediterranean and like you can.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  And it was causing.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  In fact, it's near to Africa, isn't it? It's kind of, it's near, is it nearer to Africa than it is to?

• 13:32Speaker 01

  I don't know. It's near, um, where I suppose Iran is and Iraq. Because it was, uh, because it was Solomon who managed to finally defeat, laid siege on them.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Because he, because he was, that, that island was such a pain in the ass because it was really fucking with his ships and stuff like that.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. So he needed to.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  He needed to get rid of them.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  The.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  The Christian knights on Malta.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  But again, in a very sort of fair way, like constantly saying, listen, this can go either one or two ways. I feel like this about sort of, um, sultans.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Or Arabic and Muslim sort of emperors. I don't know what you'd call them, but they were always very sort of like, we're here.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  You could, either we're gonna, either give up or we're gonna just fucking.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Destroy everything. I, I, I think he gave.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  They, they weren't, they weren't always, um.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  I think he gave.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  They didn't immediately resort to violence. There was an opportunity to, to, to leave.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Once he did, um, once he did conquer Malta, this Solomon Giza, he gave him, I think he gave him like five years to leave or something like that. Like, no rush. Like, get your shit together. Get all your affairs in order.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Um, got five years. Don't worry about it.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Seems quite level headed, quite sort of.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  What are we talking about, Lily, mate?

• 15:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Um, where are we going with this?

• 15:04Speaker 03

  That's, well, that's the question, isn't it, I suppose? But destination, destination fun.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  Spain, me being in Spain.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  You being in Spain.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Oh, holiday.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, no, really loved it. Um, and, I mean, because obviously it's incredibly hot in London. So like last week or the week before last, I was like, why would I want to go somewhere that's hotter than London?

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  But actually, first of all, it wasn't really hotter. Secondly, it is just where, like you're, where we were, we're by the sea. Also, Spain is like used to being a bit hot, so it feels like it's just sort of set up a bit more.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, the, the, yeah.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  I don't quite know what I mean by that, but it just feels like.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Well, no, they have things like air conditioning and stuff like that.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I suppose.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Which I think we've now got to get on board with.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  My house is so.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Our house is crazy, so hot. It's crazy.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Built. The, the buildings in this country are built so that they keep heating.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  So you don't have to spend so much money on heating.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  You know, we're all, we've, I've spent my whole life worrying about the heating.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Being warm enough.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Now, sort of the last few years.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  It's like, oh, fucking hell, I wish I could get rid of some of this heat now.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, it's, it's a bit of a, bit of a, bit of a worry.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  Ah, be fine.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  We need is a bit of air conditioning and then we've got lovely climate, lovely and warm, warm, warm outside. If it gets too hot outside, just go and chill out indoors with the air conditioning.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  I know, I just worry about.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Start growing fucking olives in your garden and stuff.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  I know, it's just that, places really, yeah. What about the places that were hot to begin with? What are they gonna end up like?

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Ah, they'll be all right.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  They won't remember.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  They won't.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  They won't remember. Um, so in conclusion, nice holiday, nice food, nice people. Thank you very much.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  That's all you need, isn't it? That's all you want.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  That's all you need, isn't it? Fly there, fly back.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  I haven't had a holiday in ages. I don't know when I'm gonna go on holiday.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Where would you go next?

• 17:04Speaker 01

  I'm thinking, well, I was thinking until I looked at the fucking price, uh, of, um, what's those islands in the Indian Ocean?

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Maldives.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Maldives, I was thinking of, thinking of the old Maldives.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  I've been there. It's.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  My god, it's expensive.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, also, hotel prices have gone completely duopoly in like the last three or four years. Like it's, it's, we went to a hotel for one night while we were on a holiday. Cause it was like, well, that's all we can afford. I mean, it's like, it's, it's honestly insane.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  And it's now the point where it's like, if I'm paying that much money for what is essentially a night's sleep, what, how fucking good has that night's sleep got to be? I mean, it's like, that, it's, sleep can't be that good.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  I was.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't quite know what's happened, but it is.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  I really wanna go to the Maldives. I've, I've got a couple of friends that have been, say, it's absolutely incredible.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  It's amazing.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Uh, so I really wanna go. And then I did look at the price and then, and I was a little bit thinking like, you know, could afford me and Claire to go.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Exactly. They're gonna live on, aren't they, the boys? Like, you're, they're not doing, you know, dare I say, they're not doing the bucket list.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Literally, taking the kids is, uh, is twice as much.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  It adds another hundred percent to the bill.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Can't they go to, you know, somewhere a bit closer and just tell them it's the Maldives?

• 18:30Speaker 01

  Well, and also they, they fucking, uh, cause my kids are not adults. If you looked at my children, you'd go, oh, they're children.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  They're no way.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Adults at all whatsoever.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  But I was looking at sort of hotel prices and it was like, how many adults? How many children?

• 18:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Under twelve?

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, I know.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  I was like, well, both my kids are now over twelve, but they're not adults. So I wouldn't class them as adults. They're not gonna eat the same as, as me.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Or, or they're not gonna drink any alcohol or anything.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Yes, and they're not, they're not legally allowed to earn any money.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Until they're sixteen. So it is a little bit much, isn't it? If, if, if, if, if, if you have a person.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  They're allowed to earn money, by the way. I earned money when I was a kid.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  But you, there is, for the purposes of this argument, they're not, what you're saying is there is a.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  I had to pay tax on it. As a child.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  So there's a category of person who is completely, who is dependent upon adults.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Oh, that's not true, actually. I didn't earn enough to pay tax on it.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  No, you wouldn't have had to, no, you're not unless you're.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  But, but I.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  You did earn money.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  But I did, but I, if I, if I'd, if I'd earned enough, I would have had to have paid tax on it.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Well, I had a paper round and if I'd, and that was before I was sixteen. But then that was only because I couldn't work. I couldn't yet begin my glittering career in B H S.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Uh, because you had to be sixteen. So there is a thing where like, you know, child, child labour is actually one of the things that the Victorians made illegal.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  They did, yeah.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Because, um, there was a sense that children shouldn't be, shouldn't be going to work. Um, and,

• 20:15Speaker 02

  um, I agree with you. I think it's a bit much to say that an adult is now anyone over twelve.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  Because like clearly in terms of their ability to contribute to the holiday. And what, what, what do they think happens? Do they think that they suddenly start taking up more room in the hotel or something or?

• 20:33Speaker 01

  And my kids are tiny.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Me and Claire are tiny. We're a tiny family.

• 20:39Speaker 02

  You should just be classed as one, just book a, a room for one giant person and, and just, you'll be all right.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  One big person.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  And you're gonna have to make us some sort of costume so that maybe.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Oh, there, there'll be costumes. Yeah, there'll be like a giant suit.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  The boys can be one leg each.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  You can do an arm.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Maybe Claire can be the head and the other arm.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  Claire wouldn't be able to be, she's got a tiny head.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Okay, so you're the head.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, that would look really freakish.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  She's gonna have to do both arms then, which is weird, because she's gonna have to be feet out here and arm. But I mean, it'll, it'll work. I mean, just don't. I think you'll be fine.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Well, her body could be sideways.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  On top of the boy legs.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Exactly, yeah, so she's got.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Arms of one arm and her legs of the other arm.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Legs of the other arm, yeah. Her arms are one arm and legs are the other arm.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  And I'll sit on top of that.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  And I'll be the head.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you have to be all.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  The big giant head.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  Um, should we, is, is there anything there?

• 21:41Speaker 03

  I mean, I was really enjoying that, yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Full family costume.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Let's do the old pod show, Joe.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Because otherwise Joe's child is going to be outside his house.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, otherwise my, um, my three year old will just be out, yeah, just on my doorstep.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  Welcome.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  And packages get nicked from where I live, so don't want that to happen. And she's not a package.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Welcome to Joe and James Fact Up, a podcast loosely about facts, but it's more about the chats. If you want to get in touch, our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330 and you can follow us on socials at joeandjamespod. And you can watch all our episodes in full on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  She was just 22 years old with millions of fans and a glittering future ahead of her. On Dead Famous, we uncover the horrifying murder of rising star Christina Grimm. In June 2016, the former voice contestant had just finished performing in Orlando when a stranger approached her with a gun. Moments later, the young singer lay dying. But who was her killer? And why had he travelled hundreds of miles to take her life? Such Dead Famous, and follow now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Okay, so you've been sending in some fact up stuff for us to discuss.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  This is from Harriet via the fact up WhatsApp. And she says, hi, uh, that's how it's written. Boys and Queen Lily May, love the pod. I've got a bit of a weird one for you that I used to bring up on first dates. Okay. Everyone has a dead body to body of water ratio. That's how she's just led off, that they are weirdly happy to swim in. E.G. if you're okay swimming in a paddling pool with a dead body, automatic psychopath. However, most people are okay swimming in the ocean, which is littered with more corpses than you or I can imagine. Okay, it's true. It's true. It's not the first thing I think of with the ocean, but um, I suppose that's her point. So where's your line? How much water does it take before you're willing to overlook the corpse situation? A lake, a reservoir, the channel?

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Is there a litres to cadaver equation you've subconsciously accepted? I like this. I asked this on a genuinely concerning number of first dates and against all odds, quite a few still ended in second dates.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  I don't think that's against all odds at all. That's good, that's good chat.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  No, it is good chat. Yeah.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  That's interesting chat. That's elevated chat.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  You know, you could talk about, oh, and where did you grow up and stuff like that? Or you could cut straight to, right. How much, what's the largest volume of water you'd need to comfortably be in the same? Bit of water with a dead body.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  And it's interesting that there's a subconscious acceptance, which I suppose there is. I mean, I suppose it's probably, I mean, I think line of sight, probably. I would say if, if I can, if I can, if I can see a body.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  I'll probably get out.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  If I know that there is a dead body up the other end of a big lock and I can't actually see it.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Maybe I, maybe I'd get in.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  What do you think?

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think out of sight, out of mind sort of thing.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  I'd maybe get in if I was a blind man and I got in a bath with a dead body and didn't know it was there. I don't think it'd bother me.

• 25:19Speaker 03

  You'd touch it though.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 25:21Speaker 03

  If you were in a bath with a dead body.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd have to not touch it. Yeah.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  You'd touch it, you would, unless you got a massive bath.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  So when Harriet says that she's gone on second dates, is this like the prep for the second date? So she's like, we're going to go on another date.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Well, no.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Just, I'm ready to question. In terms of bodies of water, how big does it have to be for you to get in, even though there's a dead body in? She's like, okay, stay with me and then I'll get back with the details of the second date. And then it's like, like, like whatever, meet me here.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Do you know there's?

• 25:47Speaker 02

  And it's, and it's been arranged thus.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  There's something like this, I'm gonna, it's like millions of tonnes of gold. That's dissolved in the ocean.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  And if you could find a way of separating it, those gold particles from, from the ocean, which would cost more money than what the gold is, like you'd have all this gold. Like there's such an abundance of gold in the ocean, but it's all very tiny. Can you actually look that up for me, Lily May? Cause I, I think it's like a ridiculous amount of gold that's in our oceans.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  In our oceans.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  That's floating about in the oceans, actually in.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Plastic as well.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's a lot of that.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  Lot of that.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  There's a lot of that.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Where else is it in the fish?

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, they.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  In my testicles.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  There's a quick search, the, the number that comes floating at me is 20 million tonnes of gold.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  20 million tonnes of gold.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  So actually the sea, in a sense, is absolutely minted, isn't it? Like, should it be considered the richest man on earth?

• 26:57Speaker 01

  It's not man, is it?

• 27:00Speaker 02

  He's saying it's woman.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, the sea is the richest woman on earth.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 02

  Well, I suppose Mother Nature, I suppose, yeah, we sometimes, we sometimes tend to, you know, think of the earth as, well, whoever this person is, is a person. I think we can agree on that.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  I think we can agree.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  You call it a robot?

• 27:19Speaker 01

  The ocean is a person.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  The ocean's a person.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  If you really think about it, the ocean's a person.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, and not just a person, a rich person.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  I like to think of the earth as a big head.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's Porgdon, isn't it?

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  He says, we should not worry about the earth because we should think of it as a head and all that's happening is that it's going a bit bald.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  It's going a bit bald.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. Treat the earth like a head. Absolutely amazing. I mean, so there's those are gold. It's a really good question. I think my answer is probably, obviously do I know? I mean, apart from with the ocean, I suppose you know, yeah, okay.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  So there's probably dead bodies in the Mediterranean and that's essentially a big lake. I know it's not quite a big lake, but.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  It's a sea, isn't it?

• 28:04Speaker 02

  But, okay, let's say a contained body of, the Caspian Sea, the Caspian Sea, right? That is contained, right? So there's probably a dead body in there.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  Because of Russia.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  What about?

• 28:15Speaker 02

  And.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  What about?

• 28:18Speaker 02

  And, but he wasn't murdered. He just, um, drove a thousand miles away from his home and then drowned himself in a lake.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Wasn't murdered.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  After he said some stuff.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  And it was weird, he just after he put that stuff on his blog.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  He wasn't murdered.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  So there's probably dead bodies in the Caspian Sea. But would you swim in the Caspian Sea knowing that there are? You probably would.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  You have been around a dead body before?

• 28:42Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  I have. When my nan, when my nan passed away.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  What did it make you?

• 28:49Speaker 01

  I don't know. I remember she was just quite cold.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  Was that in like hospital?

• 28:57Speaker 01

  I think it was in a living room.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  She was choking. She was choking for ages. Thought she was just winding me up. No, I'm joking.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  I think I've repressed that memory a little bit.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  I can't remember a hundred percent where I am. I know that she went home.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  She was in hospital for a while and was like, oh, might as well just send her on. And she had to, for a bit, for about a week or so, she had one of those hospital beds in, in the living room.

• 29:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  But I wouldn't get in the sea with her after that.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  No.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Would you get in a lake with her though?

• 29:40Speaker 03

  That's the question.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  I think, I think it's, I think it's line of sight. That's what it is.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Do you reckon?

• 29:47Speaker 02

  So if I can't see it, but I know maybe that.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  I think even if I saw one on the horizon, if I'm in the sea, if I'm near the coast, oh, I wouldn't want to be. I think I'd freak, I, I, I think I'd freak out if I saw one and I was in the middle of the ocean.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  Cause there's lots of stuff going on there that would freak me out. I don't really like the sea. I always feel like something's touching me anyway.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Well, it's a bit rich, isn't it? It's got that, it's got like, giving it.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Seaweed freaks me out and stuff.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  Seaweed is not, not that fun. No, no. I do like the sea.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  That's a good one though. Appreciate that, Harriet. That's really good chat. I imagine you, you have quite successful dates. You sound like an interesting person.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  We do need to do fact check, Joe.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  This is where someone in desperate need of having their, um, facts validated.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Comes to us.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. Or quashed?

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Or quashed, yeah. Well, they just want, they just want closure.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  They're like, they just want to know where, where is the body?

• 30:57Speaker 02

  They just want a body to bury.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  That's all they want. Well, this is where.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  And again, I'd say if you, if you are a serial killer and you are in prison, tell, just say where the bodies are. Okay, carry on.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  Absolutely. So, um, we're going to read a fact or a question that you, that someone has written in, uh, would like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're going to have a good old think during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us and to decide if it passes our fact check.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Okay, so this week's fact check comes from Cameron in Melbourne,

• 31:28Speaker 02

  who filled in our fact up form, they say, isn't it Melbourne?

• 31:32Speaker 01

  Melbourne.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  Melbourne.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, Melbourne.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  We've been there.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  We had a lovely little lunch there, didn't we, by the river? No, that was Brisbane.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Yes. Brisbane was very nice. We went all over.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  We went to Melbourne as well.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  We went to Melbourne as well, yeah. I'd say like.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Melbourne's closer to Sydney than Brisbane, right?

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, but Brisbane is, uh, in Queensland.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  Queensland?

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Queensland.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  I never know.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  I think you're worrying about this now.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  No, I've never, I've.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Do you say Spiderman?

• 31:59Speaker 02

  No, the land ones have really got on my head and I've never quite got, got it back. It's like I used to, you know, when a footballer loses form and he never quite gets it back?

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Queensland.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  I've got a lot with the lands.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe they say Queensland.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  I know it's England. Is it? England? I know it's England. But some of them.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Anyway, um, I'm also from, there's an area of Chelmsford called Melbourne.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  And there's, the Chelmsford's, um, only tower block is the Melbourne tower block.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Is that where?

• 32:31Speaker 02

  But I think the Australian Melbourne.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  Didn't there used to be a manmade beach?

• 32:35Speaker 02

  What, on the top of it?

• 32:35Speaker 01

  In Melbourne.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Australia?

• 32:38Speaker 01

  No.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  London. Chelmsford.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Didn't there used to be a manmade beach there?

• 32:46Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  I feel like I went there as a kid.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  I- in Melbourne, Melbourne?

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. Is it near a ri- is it near a river or a, or a?

• 32:54Speaker 02

  They might have got a, a manmade beach. I mean, there might have some sand.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  I feel like there was a manmade, Lily, mate.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  You mean, they put some, they put some sand?

• 33:03Speaker 02

  They put some sand there?

• 33:04Speaker 01

  I feel like I went there as a kid and bought a inflatable boat.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  I'm not seeing anything initially.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  I don't think it's somewhere else.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Let us know in the comments.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, this, yeah, I mean.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  If you're listening.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on? I said, is there a manmade beach? In Melbourne?

• 33:33Speaker 02

  In Chelmsford? Uh, hello, hello? Um, that's not the message they send into space to see if there's intelligent life. Just send something they can't resist. Okay, here we go. Right, do you have any life out there? Is there a manmade beach? In Melbourne? Cameron in Melbourne,

• 33:53Speaker 02

  who's filled in our Fact Check form, said, "Hi Joe and James, I'm a Brit living in Australia and I wanted to check the long time fact that if I were to start digging from Australia downwards, I'd eventually find myself digging out to somewhere in the UK." Good question. Wanted to confirm before I started digging.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Very sensible. Plan to fail, failed. Or was it plan to fail to plan, plan to fail?

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Prepare?

• 34:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, not my words, it was of Roy Keane.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  Big baby.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  People just say there's big bad tits.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  We're gonna get on the case and we'll be back with a fact stat.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  She was just 22 years old with millions of fans and a glittering future ahead of her. On Dead Famous, we uncover the horrifying murder of rising star Christina Grimm. In June 2016, the former voice contestant had just finished performing in Orlando when a stranger approached her with a gun. Moments later, the young singer lay dying. But who was her killer? And why had he travelled hundreds of miles to take her life? Such Dead Famous and follow now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Right, here we go. I can, um, I actually know the answer to this question.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  The smile on your face is, is lovely to see.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Welcome back to Joe and James Fact Check and we were just fact checking on behalf of Cameron, who wanted to know, can you dig, uh, to England from Australia? And I know, I know the answer. I absolutely know the answer.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  Can I ask, do you know the answer from bitter experience?

• 35:27Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  No, okay.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  I know the answer. No, I think, um, I think it's the Russians that have managed to dig deeper than anyone else has done.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Um, I think they did it in Siberia or something like that.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Uh, but the, they kept going. I think it was just an experiment to see what they could do.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  There's not very much to do in Siberia, to be fair.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  No.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  It was probably just a Christmas activity.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  But it got to a point where the ma- machines just kept, they got as far as they could and the machines just kept breaking. It was just too either tough or that things would overheat and buckle and whatnot.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  I think it's about 20 mi- 20, I'm gonna go, right? I'm gonna say this number. 26 kilometres. For some reason, that number's flashed up in my head.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  How long? Um, I'm trying to look at.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  What's the deepest hole ever been dug?

• 36:22Speaker 02

  It's a, it's a, it's a cool experiment. I mean, I, I'd.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  I think it's, that sounds, now that I think about it, that sounds like a lot.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Just now you said it though, I was on holiday with, um, my brothers and we dug a pretty deep hole in the beach.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. You've seen those things where people dig holes in the beach and then the ocean just starts coming?

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  I'm seeing 7.6 miles deep.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's about 26 kilometres, isn't it? No, that sounds more realistic than 26 kilometres.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  So about 10 kilo- 10, 10, 11, 12, 12 kilometres? 12 kilometres?

• 36:54Speaker 01

  And it was Russia, right? They did it in Russia. Yeah. Um.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  We don't rush it.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Is this thing on?

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 37:06Speaker 03

  It's, it's roughly 12 kilometres.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  Right. So to answer, um, Cameron, if you dug from Australia trying to reach and go through the centre in a straight line, through the centre of the earth, you'd come out of the Atlantic.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Oh, I see. Okay.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  You miss, you miss Europe.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  The UK. Okay.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  You don't hit, you wouldn't hit any land.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  Okay. So.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  And then it would all, the Atlantic would then just all leak into.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  So even if you could do it and you, you weren't rushing and you

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  you'd really cleared your diary.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  You, um, and you could get through the core and everything, because there's a molten core. We, I think we forget about that. That's a bit like unbelievable, isn't it? We're like, we just, we just don't think that there's this, there's a bloody core of molten iron in the middle of this baby.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Do you know what?

• 37:55Speaker 02

  And we, we just behave as though there, we sort of behave as though there isn't one there.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Can I shock you?

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Um, I do think about the core.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Do you?

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Because if that thing stops.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, I know.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  That's what happened to Mars.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  Core solidified.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, just stopped. Because I think the core is what helps us turn.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  And then when it, if it dies out, we'll be fucked.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Because it's magnetic, is it? Iron is magnetic, isn't it?

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  That's why we've got the poles, of course.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  That's right, yeah. And they're about to flip or something. I don't know what that means.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  They're gonna flip?

• 38:33Speaker 01

  I've got so much half information.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Don't you know that?

• 38:37Speaker 01

  The poles are due to flip. The north and south poles are due to, to change.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Was it half time?

• 38:44Speaker 01

  A little bit. Yeah, they change ends. They literally change ends.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  They've, yeah, lunch at least or just?

• 38:50Speaker 01

  I was just thinking, they're always rushing, aren't they? Because they always say, I must go.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 39:04Speaker 02

  To all intelligent life that make this.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  If this episode isn't called Hello?

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  Okay. It seems like a lot of people are Googling like, are they gonna flip today or tomorrow?

• 39:21Speaker 01

  It could happen at any moment, yeah.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  It keeps telling me that it's not gonna happen today or tomorrow.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  But it's due.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  But I haven't Googled that. Um.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Okay, it says a magnetic, uh, magnetic reversal takes up to 1,000, 10,000 years, during which the field weakens and wanders. The last flip was 780,000 years ago.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  Experts have apparently said we're not gonna face any massive shift though.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Right. It's just gonna be a gradual thing.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  That seems weird as well.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  I don't know why I preoccupy my.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  Earth acts like a giant bar magnet powered by the swirling liquid iron in its outer core.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, and if we lose that, I think our atmosphere goes or something. I don't know why I, I concern myself with this stuff either.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  Quite fun though. It says the magnetic north pole is currently racing towards Siberia at around 34 miles per year.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  So we've got that going on. Africa's splitting in, a big chunk of Africa's splitting apart. Um, we're either due an ice age or I actually was told recently that we're, we're coming to the end of an ice age.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  I hope we're not coming to the end because it is already hot.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. But there's been plenty of times where we've not had any, um, frozen poles in Earth's history. And it's survived.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  So there's a bit of hope.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  Gosh.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  It's terrifying, isn't it? Hello? It's terrifying.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  But yeah, there you go, Cameron. I had the answer for you. I think, and I was confident in the answer and I was correct. And I don't, I don't think that's ever happened before.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  No, until confirmed, I will say.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Just, oh.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  You'd come out in the ocean.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  I mean, this, this podcast goes out a couple of weeks after we've recorded it. So I hope you haven't fucking started.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  And if you have started, Cameron, and you're listening to the podcast while you dig, stop, stop now.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  Quit where you're at.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  Because you'll make a hole in the Atlantic, you'll flood Australia.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  It's gonna be a great big mess.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Be a hell of a ride though, as you went back through the

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:42Speaker 02

  tube on all the water.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Um. So that's that. What are we doing now?

• 41:52Speaker 02

  Ah, okay.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Oh, brilliant. Joe.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  Do I need to wrap fact check up?

• 42:01Speaker 03

  Well, I was just, we normally ask me to confirm, but you felt very confident and I will say, yes, you are correct. Um, the only thing I was gonna add is, um, so obviously if you come out one side, you'd come out, if you're going towards England, it'd be, uh, the Atlantic Ocean, as you said. But if it was the other way around, you'd become to the Pacific Ocean.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  So they just don't run.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Oceans either way.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Ocean and other side.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Oceans either way.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  See it, man, law of averages, you're, you're, you're bound to hit ocean.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  There's way more ocean than there is land.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  And I suppose also, it feels as though, like, almost all of the planning in both directions has just been entirely based on the phrase down under.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Which I suppose.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  Well, they are sort of on the bottom of the planet.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, but I suppose.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Australia is like the sexy booty of the, of the, of the, of earth.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Tanned, sexy tanned booty.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  Be fit as well.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  You wouldn't be like a saggy bottom at all.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  Be sporty.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:05Speaker 01

  Nice. Love it.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Hello, um.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  It's time for, uh, it's time for my fact.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Um, should, should I wrap this? I feel like I've not wrapped up fact check enough.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  That's okay. We call Australia a sexy booty. I think that's, that's wrapped up enough.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  Um, Joe, it is time for my fact.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:24Speaker 01

  I've decided that, um, well, I've not decided, we've all decided, us, the makers of this podcast and the listeners.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  That no one really gives a fuck about our facts, so.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Well, I think there was less is more.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  So we've tried to say, well, maybe just one is.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  So just a little, a little thing for you and the listeners to think about.

• 43:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Um, but here we go. We're, we're all aware of, um, Saturn.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  The planet.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  What's the most special thing about Saturn?

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Its rings.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  Its rings, of course. Beautiful, majestic rings.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Um, that are very, very thin, but very, very wide.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  You're quite right.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  So if you were to do, if you were to do it, what do you call it? When you sort of scale things up or down or whatever, if you were to scale it, so say the.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Say you were to scale the thinness of, uh, the Saturn's rings to a s- cassette D, to a Blu-ray disc or something.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Cassette disc? Is that what they're called? I don't know. Is that what CD stands for?

• 44:33Speaker 02

  Compact disc.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Compact disc, that's right.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  A compact disc.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Um, you'd have, your, the compact disc would have to be like fucking 10 miles big.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  Ah, okay, wow.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  That's how massive and thin Saturn, Saturn's rings are.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  Gosh.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Um, are you checking up on that?

• 44:50Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. I'm taking your fact as, that's, that's not, that's not my job right now.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  It might be a couple of miles, I don't know, actually. Um.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  Ah, and imagine the.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  Here's one for you.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  Imagine the interplanetary groove that's playing on that CD.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Here's one for you. Neptune's got rings as well. I didn't know that until the last few years of my life, just gone by.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Never hear about them, do you?

• 45:10Speaker 01

  No, you never hear of the rings of Neptune.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Hmm, very, very convenient.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  Very convenient.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  But.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  How about this, Joe?

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  There's an asteroid in our solar system that has its own rings.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  No way.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, uh, it's orbit positions it between Saturn and Uranus.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  It's two hundred.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Burn!

• 45:33Speaker 01

  It's 250 kilometres wide. And it's big enough that it's just an asteroid, just, it's an orbiting asteroid in our solar system.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  And, and, and, you know, even at that, so look.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  What's it called?

• 45:44Speaker 02

  Don't be thinking, don't assume that rings are out of your price range. That's really the message to different interplanetary bodies. Yes, we all look at Saturn and we think, oh, I'll never get rings.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:57Speaker 02

  No, if you budget wisely and you save up.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  You can afford a set of rings, even if you're only 250 kilometres wide.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  And you're just an asteroid.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  The annoying thing is, is that I'm pretty sure I wrote down the name of this thing. It begins with a C. I think it's something like Caracus or something like that it's called, this asteroid. Um, but it has its own rings.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  Well, look, it's goo- I, I like to see it. I, um, it's, it's aspirational.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Joe, Joe, there is, I did look at a picture of it. It is good. It's got a very.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Wow, looks really cool.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  Thin ring.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Whoa, it's good. Yeah.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  What's it called?

• 46:36Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, good question.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Check out the rings on that asteroid.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, look at that.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  I don't know how you say it, but it's spelt, uh, C H A R I K L O.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Caracol or something.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Caracol?

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Caracol.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Characol.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Um, but there, that's my little fact for you.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  That's really, really nice. Thank you very much, Characol.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  It's got a little number as well. I don't know if you want the number.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  It's got a number.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's got a number. It's, uh.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  One, one oh one nine nine.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  What's the extension? Is it plus?

• 47:11Speaker 01

  One oh one nine nine.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Plus five six for, um, services, wasn't it?

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Before we do wrap things up though, Joe.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  We've got, uh, an extra little message here from.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Via the Fact Up WhatsApp, um, who has, uh, remember we were talking about burying a sausage?

• 47:32Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  Which someone did then mention to me.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  About, she was getting married and she was like, I'm thinking about burying a sausage.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  I feel like it's become quite in.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  Since we spoke about it?

• 47:44Speaker 02

  No, no, as in another basis, uh, yeah.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  Um, but Jack, uh, their message is titled Sausage Graveyard. Um, Jack says, bury the sausage fact. I am a wedding photographer and last year I had a wedding venue tell me that they have had to ban burying the sausage rituals at their venue as too many brides were digging up areas of their wonderfully maintained lawns and flower beds. And also because the venue owner's dogs, um, had too many upset stomachs from eating raw mouldy sausages they kept digging up. Oh, it's PC gone mad again, isn't it?

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Oh, goodness.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  I would say that this is our culture and that you should.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  I mean, I'd just be a bit, I'd say be a bit sensible about where you'd bury it.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  Like, I was, why, why, why specifically the bride is being blamed?

• 48:38Speaker 01

  I think it's the bride. I think.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Is it the bride who has to do it?

• 48:40Speaker 01

  I think so, yeah.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  He's not in the, he's not in the, because she's not in the dress, is she?

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Not the night before. No, it's the night before you're.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, because I would just say also, yeah, just as, don't, don't put the, put the dress on after you bury the sausage.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Here's the thing.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  And, you know, or at least put an apron on or something.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  Um, but I would say to wedding venues, make it a thing.

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Make a little fenced off plot.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Sausage plot.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  Where you can go, oh, if you want to bury a sausage, by the way, you can do that the night before. You can come to, we've got a special dedicated area.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  And they can take pictures and stuff.

• 49:15Speaker 02

  And if you've been following our previous episodes, then you'll know that you can actually buy the sausage from Volkswagen if you want.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  And so you can.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  Little world up.

• 49:27Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  A world up fat.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Do you think the flavour sausage would make a difference to the weather?

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  I wonder if anyone's tried different ones.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  Maybe, maybe if you stuck a chorizo or something in there, be a bit more hotter.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  I, I hate sausages with apple in them. People love putting a, making a fancy sausage. I know pork goes well with apple. Um, but I feel like the apple just ruins my pleasure of the pork.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  What's your favourite sausage?

• 49:58Speaker 01

  I do, I love a nice Lincolnshire. I love a nice Cumberin. Um, but my butcher that I get my sausages from does a really great, it's just called Breakfast Pork Sausage.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  And it's just, it's just brilliant. Oh.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  I know what you mean about apple.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  I don't think it should be in with, apple sauce is nice with pork, but I don't, it maybe shouldn't be in with the meat.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Also, it should be my choice.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  Don't.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  Sneak your apple in my sausage.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  Don't tell, yeah, you can, you'll choose the condiment.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  You don't put mustard in the sausage, do you?

• 50:34Speaker 01

  They, I remember they do that a lot with, um, I remember when we used to go to fancy parties, what, like Channel Four would used to do.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Do you remember those things, those gatherings that they do where they try and sort of, basically they'd get like the head of marketing of Tesco's and, and they'd show clips of what's going on Channel Four this year. So maybe you should advertise on Channel Four. And it'd be like, oh, can we, it'd be really great if we could get some people off the television to, um, sort of, you know, be, be involved and like say hello to people and, because apparently it gets them excited and they go, oh yeah, no, we'll advertise.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  I used to think you are complete idiots if you think that us going around at a party is gonna get advertised, oh, you want to guess who's over there?

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  What, uh, just some, some not very impressive men?

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it'd just be us four standing.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I thought this is, if we're the best you've got, then you're not gonna get any advertising.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  But I remember that, it happened to me twice.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  At those parties, where I wanted a glass of water.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  Um, someone came around with a tray and they're like, oh, would you like a glass of water? I go, oh yeah, no, I would like a glass of water, thank you. Fucking elderflower or whatever they call it.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  Hmm, I like elderflower.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  No, but not when you're not expecting it.

• 51:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. Or when they put cucumber in it.

• 51:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  It was just a glass of water. It just looked like a glass of water and I was thirsty and I was like, I'm gonna neck this.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:57Speaker 01

  And it's like perfume in your mouth and you're like, fuck's sake.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. Now, it's, and that's how you feel about the apples and it's fair enough. Um.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  What's your favourite sausage, Joe, while we're on it?

• 52:10Speaker 02

  Uh, I just, I mean, I know this is a bit of a, just a good quality sausage.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  Just, I mean, I think it's more about, you know, the.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Just the quality of the meat, really.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Do you prefer the like longer ones or the kind of like quite chunky?

• 52:25Speaker 02

  No, I, I, I don't really like chipolatas. I like the, the, the, the proper like girth.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  I like to feel, I like to feel sausage in my mouth when I'm.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Knocking down on it.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Why do you keep doing this, Joe?

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Just imagine.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  It's the thing I just, I have a, I have a sort of internet subculture that I like to signal to.

• 52:52Speaker 02

  I was merely imagining the girth of a sausage, your honour.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  I was, can a gentleman, is a gentleman not at liberty any longer? We fought a war.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  That is pretty funny though, isn't it?

• 53:09Speaker 01

  The girth of a man's sausage is his own private business.

• 53:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, I feel so for the dogs. I mean, just on dogs eating stuff, my friend's dog ate a entire full nappy from their child. So just, dogs will eat fucking anything. So if dogs are getting sick, then that, I mean, they've got pretty strong stomachs.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Dogs. Was that a full nappy?

• 53:33Speaker 02

  A full, a shitty nappy, like their child's shitted in nappy. The dog ate the entire thing. Dogs are not, they don't, they're not dignified, are they, dogs? I mean, that is it, she like, that is a tail between your legs moment.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  What have you done? Don't think bad? Hmm, is it bad? I have to say yes. I have to say yes.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  My dog ate a sock.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, they just, yeah.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  Because we were having dinner and we've got a Domino's and we were all around the dinner table. And my kids took their socks off so they could relax at the dinner table.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  And one of them just dropped a piece of crust. It landed on the sock. And it sort of hooked into the sock and my dog was like, I better fucking have this now. I was gonna say, don't eat that. So my dog was straight on it, took the, swallowed like, and was panic eating before we could say, no, drop that.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  So took the crust and the sock went down. A couple of days later, she threw it up and honestly, you could have put it in the wash. They did throw it away, but I was like, I was like, that's a full sock.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, come on.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  Back in the wash.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Come on. Ninety degree wash, you'll be all right.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Stick that back in. People pay a lot of money for, you know, it's a, it's a delicacy.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm sure it is somewhere. Anyway.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  Well, that, I mean, I'd just say, that's pretty funny, isn't it? I bet they never, there's some things that you probably never thought would be a problem when you set up a wedding venue. And one of them would be.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  Buried sausages.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  Rotting buried sausages all over the place.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Well, fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  Fail.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, good. That, I know he's a photographer. It's a little bit of sort of, sort of civilian journalism, investigative journalism.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Good stuff. Well, I'm, I'm, I'm fact out, Joe.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  I'm pretty fact out as well.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  I'm pretty fact out. What have we learnt today? We've learnt that dogs are getting sick from why, from brides burying sausages. We've learnt there's an asteroid with rings. And we've also learnt that not to dig through Australia to try and come out the other side because you'll just end up in the Atlantic.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  So if you are, if you are doing it, bear slightly to the right.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, try and.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Banana round.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Is it, would it be right? I don't know, because it's all upside down and stuff, isn't it?

• 55:54Speaker 02

  You're gonna have to banana around the core anyway.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  So banana round, banana around the core and you should be fine.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  Brilliant. Well, we've hoped that you guys have also learnt something or at least had a nice time. We'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and dig into ass.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Week.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  It's not weak.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  It's not weak.

• 56:16Speaker 03

  Digging to ass, that's a fun.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  Niche reference to what happens.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Digging to Australia, you could.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Hang on a second.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  It doesn't work, it doesn't rhyme.

• 56:24Speaker 03

  You referred to Australian, Australia as a booty, as the ass of the earth.

• 56:29Speaker 02

  I know, I know, I like it already. I already liked it. I just, I, I don't, actually don't understand.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  How dare you?

• 56:34Speaker 01

  Just that it doesn't.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  Ass is a very, is a, I think that's the loosest.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're gonna have to go loose if we want diversity of rhyme.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:44Speaker 03

  Otherwise, it's gonna have to end with a T or an X.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, it's supposed to rhyme, isn't it? I didn't pick up on that.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  Facts chats and something that rhymes with chats.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  Loosely. It's a bit of fun. Come on now.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  It's just a laugh, isn't it?

• 56:57Speaker 03

  It's just a laugh. Hello?

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 56:59Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you. Our email is [email protected]. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330 and you can follow us on our social media at joandjamespod. It doesn't need to be a fact check. It could be any message that you want to get to me and Joe. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 57:40Speaker 04

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• 58:13Speaker 00

  She was just 22 years old with millions of fans and a glittering future ahead of her. On Dead Famous, we uncover the horrifying murder of rising star Christina Grimm. In June 2016, the former voice contestant had just finished performing in Orlando when a stranger approached her with a gun. Moments later, the young singer lay dying. But who was her killer? And why had he travelled hundreds of miles to take her life? Search Dead Famous and follow now wherever you get your podcasts.