Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss What’s A Gummer?! | And Backstage at Wembley Arena About this episode Jordan has got the results from another of his "classic" polls, and this time it's about urinating. Meanwhile, William reveals a magically embarrassing reason for missing out on seeing the Grand Canyon as a child. The boys also respond to your correspondence on being too old for oral sex and reveal the gifts they got each other from a service station.
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life. Plus, experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the Midpoint.
0:28 Speaker 01 You can see why bands fall out on tour, can't you?
0:31 Speaker 02 Can I just say, we have been sweetness and light with each other.
0:34 Speaker 01 Oh, no, I'm enjoying it, but you can, I can just see.
0:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
0:37 Speaker 01 Tried to get.
0:37 Speaker 02 We have at time of recording done one date.
0:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:40 Speaker 02 And we're only doing four.
0:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, just saying, I get the fallout between Oasis now and Fleetwood Mac and Iron Maiden and all those that like.
0:51 Speaker 02 So similar.
0:51 Speaker 01 I can understand why a rock star goes back to his hotel room at one in the morning, throws a telly out of a window. I get, I get it now. I get it.
0:59 Speaker 02 Right.
1:00 Speaker 01 But I know, I was just trying to have a nap. I thought I'll have 20 minutes before we start this recording and that door went every two bastard minutes, the fucking door went, which I'm loving my life, I'm loving my life. And literally been here 20 minutes now, it's not gone once.
1:16 Speaker 02 You, you do like to complain, don't you?
1:18 Speaker 01 I'm not complaining, I love this.
1:19 Speaker 02 Sounds like a complaint.
1:25 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into a week. It's random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful G and D'Vas. What are you doing this weekend?
1:38 Speaker 02 Oh, doodle doodle doo. I am on tour with you.
1:42 Speaker 01 Yay.
1:43 Speaker 02 Yes. Actually, do you know what I'm doing tomorrow when we don't have a show? Very similar. I'm going to the tip.
1:49 Speaker 01 Sean Welby was talking about the tip this week.
1:51 Speaker 02 3.30, I'll be there.
1:53 Speaker 01 Are you on your day off?
1:56 Speaker 02 I've, I've got, I've got a bit load to get rid of.
1:59 Speaker 01 The joke.
1:59 Speaker 02 It's currently in the back of my car.
2:00 Speaker 01 I am, I am not, I'm not doing a thing tomorrow. At the time of recording.
2:06 Speaker 02 I'm not doing an awful lot, it's only going to be half an hour round trip.
2:09 Speaker 01 Not doing it, I am not lifting a finger. I am, I'm gonna stay in bed, I'm gonna watch.
2:13 Speaker 02 Just like today.
2:14 Speaker 01 Gonna watch Modern Family, I'm gonna read the paper, I'm gonna go for a run. And I'm gonna have two pints at the local.
2:19 Speaker 02 So it's been quite a lot, actually.
2:22 Speaker 01 So, yeah, that's, that's my plans.
2:24 Speaker 02 Well, that's, that's lovely. Do you think you'll get a table or will it all be reserved for Hugo and Tarquin?
2:28 Speaker 01 Probably be reserved. Tarquin's all right, leave him alone. Don't be stereotypical.
2:33 Speaker 02 Lots of people said when you complained about going into the pub and having, you know, all the tables reserved for the Six Nations followers. My favourite comment to that was, Jordan should stop going into pretentious pubs. And I thought, mm, yeah, they don't tell no lies.
2:47 Speaker 01 They're not pretentious pubs, it's just every pub in London these days, you can't get a fucking seat because everyone books it.
2:52 Speaker 02 All right, okay. Well, never mind. Just so you all know, we are backstage at Wembley Arena. Which is lovely. I've just been out the front to see our faces on the front, so that was a nice moment.
3:02 Speaker 01 Oh, I didn't do that.
3:03 Speaker 02 No, you were trying to have a nap.
3:05 Speaker 01 Oh, I would like to see that. You know, this room we're in was actually on that Alan Carr design show.
3:09 Speaker 02 That'll explain it.
3:10 Speaker 01 And the, the person that won actually designed this room. I remember watching it, it's on iPlayer. It's very like London townhouse, I think.
3:18 Speaker 02 Busy. It's very colourful.
3:20 Speaker 01 I like it.
3:21 Speaker 02 Oh, hello, Ben.
3:22 Speaker 03 Shall we paint a picture for the audience?
3:24 Speaker 01 Well, we were about to.
3:25 Speaker 02 Yes. Imagine someone's gone into the Dulux factory with a bit of Semtex and it's gone, poof. That's sort of, you've got every colour going on in this room. The ceiling is a sort of a turquoise. The, it's sort of a wallpaper of floral jungle stuff with all sorts of colours.
3:44 Speaker 01 Nice. As far as the dressing rooms we've ever been in, this is the best one. I also think it is quite cute that we do share dressing room on tour.
3:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's lovely.
3:51 Speaker 01 I, I did insist on that.
3:53 Speaker 02 You did, yeah.
3:54 Speaker 01 There was not many people I would do because, you know, I like me on space, but.
3:57 Speaker 02 Indeed.
3:58 Speaker 01 I, I think you being here is good for my nerves.
4:00 Speaker 02 Oh, well, that's very nice.
4:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:03 Speaker 02 Anyway, last week, we had a dilemma featuring a hookup who urinated into a jar, which prompted you, Jordan, to request a poll, asking if anyone had ever pissed into a bottle.
4:14 Speaker 01 I didn't do that, did I?
4:15 Speaker 02 So, upmarket, we've got the.
4:16 Speaker 01 Did I ask Jordan to do that? Oh, poor girl's gonna.
4:19 Speaker 02 So.
4:20 Speaker 01 She'll rinse me at tribunal, that girl.
4:22 Speaker 02 We put, we all will.
4:23 Speaker 01 So you caught you and everyone else.
4:25 Speaker 02 We put the question onto our Instagram and the results from the latest of Jordan North polls are in and thankfully only 17% of people have urinated into a bottle.
4:37 Speaker 01 Shut up, that's not true.
4:39 Speaker 02 Well, of the people surveyed.
4:40 Speaker 01 I won't mention names, but there's people here looking at me and nodding me and saying, yeah, that's not true.
4:45 Speaker 02 Well, it continues, Jordan. You also recommended a Lucozade bottle as a good emergency receptacle. So because we are a sophisticated podcast and we're not taking the piss, we asked about, we, glad you laughed, we asked about weird places our G and D'vas have had a wee. Zach went into a hot water bottle and said it holds lots of liquid, but also keeps it warm.
5:10 Speaker 01 That's pretty sick.
5:11 Speaker 02 Okay. Neve recommended this option for people without a penis as the spout, this is a hot water bottle, cups you and blocks splashback. It's basically a she wee, which I believe is a thing.
5:23 Speaker 01 She pee, is it? A she pee, a she wee?
5:25 Speaker 02 She, I think there may be, there are two different brands.
5:27 Speaker 01 She pee.
5:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:27 Speaker 01 I watched me mates, now wife, use a she pee at Glastonbury up against a tree and it's, I still can, I will never get that image out of my head. I see it now with kids and I'm like, I've seen you piss up against a tree with a she pee.
5:41 Speaker 02 Gemma went into a Chris packet.
5:44 Speaker 01 She winked at me as she did it as well.
5:46 Speaker 02 I'm not going to do the obvious.
5:47 Speaker 01 She went, I was, I can't get, I mean, sometimes when I'm just falling asleep, it comes to me. And I know on my deathbed, that'll be the last image I see of her pissing up against a tree at Glastonbury.
5:59 Speaker 02 Gemma went into a Chris packet on a night bus, which then went all over her.
6:04 Speaker 01 God, see?
6:05 Speaker 02 It all goes on on a night bus. Chris has pissed into probably the biggest thing, the Grand Canyon.
6:11 Speaker 01 Oh, that's class.
6:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't think we can encourage that. It's a, it's a landmark in America.
6:16 Speaker 01 That's amazing.
6:17 Speaker 02 I mean, no one would really notice, I guess, because it's so vast.
6:20 Speaker 01 That's that's so much to write home about.
6:23 Speaker 02 Have you been to the Grand Canyon?
6:24 Speaker 01 No, of course I have.
6:26 Speaker 02 No, I was going to, we were on holiday all over America as a child and we were in Las Vegas and we were going to go on a helicopter.
6:34 Speaker 01 I wouldn't do that.
6:35 Speaker 02 No, well, I didn't really want to do that either. And I had a massive argument with my family because Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix had just come out. And at that age, you sort of had to sort of read it within so many days. And they were like, no, we're going to go on the helicopter over the Grand Canyon. I don't care, I said, I want to read Harry Potter. And they said, you've got to come. I said, but my mother's not coming. She's allowed to stay behind. She's not reading Harry Potter. Anyway, I did stay behind and I did finish it.
7:00 Speaker 02 But I do now, in hindsight, think, would I actually have preferred?
7:03 Speaker 01 Who went? Your dad and brother?
7:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, would I have preferred to go over the Grand Canyon? Not at this age, no, I would not do a helicopter over the Grand Canyon, but at fourteen, thirteen, whatever I was, yeah.
7:16 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, hear me out. That is a once in a lifetime thing to do, but also, in my humble opinion, Order of the Phoenix is the best one.
7:24 Speaker 02 Really?
7:25 Speaker 01 The fourth one, isn't it?
7:26 Speaker 02 Fifth, second favourite.
7:28 Speaker 03 Fourth one is the best one.
7:30 Speaker 01 Definitely Hallows, second favourite, genuine.
7:32 Speaker 02 We've actually said that's part one?
7:33 Speaker 01 Part two.
7:34 Speaker 02 No, we're talking about the books.
7:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:36 Speaker 02 No, there isn't a part two book.
7:38 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. So, yeah, definitely Hallows.
7:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's probably, I think, I genuinely think the ending of Harry Potter was great.
7:44 Speaker 02 Really?
7:45 Speaker 01 And Goblet of Fire.
7:48 Speaker 02 Okay.
7:49 Speaker 01 Order of Phoenix, definitely Hallows, Goblet of Fire.
7:53 Speaker 02 A Saturday Chamber of Secrets.
7:55 Speaker 01 Hmm.
7:55 Speaker 02 It's a banger.
7:56 Speaker 01 Honourable mention.
7:57 Speaker 02 Ben, go on, do you have an opinion on Potter?
8:00 Speaker 03 I like Goblet of Fire.
8:03 Speaker 03 I like Victor Cram.
8:07 Speaker 01 Just.
8:08 Speaker 02 Gay. Um, Lucy said, we're going back to wing, I'm a rower and I also do a little bit of cock sing. There's a massive race in London every year called the men's eights head of the river race, affectionately known in the rowing community as man whore.
8:24 Speaker 01 Man whore.
8:26 Speaker 02 Which is said.
8:27 Speaker 01 I actually have lots of rower friends now, so.
8:28 Speaker 02 Of course you do. Which is said exactly how you're imagining. Last year I cocked the men's eight for my club and you have to get on the, and you have to get on the water in the boat a long time in advance. The men were sharing a bottle. One would wee into it, empty the contents into the river and then pass it to the next person. It was horrific.
8:47 Speaker 01 See?
8:47 Speaker 02 I'd quite agree. Olivia said I was stuck on the M42 with my dad and four-year-old, she needed to go badly. Whoever guided a four-year-old girl on how to piss into a bottle. Safe to say, the car needed a full valet. It's disgusting. Ree is a doctor and has received urine samples in lots of things. Their favourite was a jam jar with jam still in it.
9:09 Speaker 01 What?
9:10 Speaker 02 Wow.
9:13 Speaker 01 Well, chlamydia's come through clear, but it seems like you've got jamboree.
9:19 Speaker 02 Well done for trying and attempting it.
9:21 Speaker 03 It's a nice try, but it didn't really work.
9:24 Speaker 02 It's a good attempt. There is a joke in there somewhere, but yeah.
9:28 Speaker 01 Seems that you've been jamming it in too much.
9:33 Speaker 02 We're very tired, Jim.
9:35 Speaker 01 Marmaladeitis. You've got marmalade thrush.
9:42 Speaker 03 Stop.
9:43 Speaker 01 You've got drush.
9:45 Speaker 03 What's that, Jim? Okay, I think we need to put George on to bed.
9:49 Speaker 02 And finally, Mike used a plastic document wallet and said, please don't keep me anonymous. I'm proud. Well, Mike, you shouldn't be.
9:59 Speaker 01 Go on, Mike.
10:00 Speaker 02 We've got more of your emails, messages and letters after the break.
10:03 Speaker 01 Well done.
10:07 Speaker 00 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life. Plus experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the midpoint.
10:35 Speaker 01 Welcome back, Gene Devers. It's William and Jordan on your Friday episode. We are backstage currently at Wembley, about to go on for a sound check in 20 minutes.
10:46 Speaker 02 Indeed. Now, in our latest episode from the tour bus on Tuesday, we set ourselves a challenge to buy each other the most Jordan and the most William thing for each other from a service station for under £10. It was a challenge because service stations are dear.
11:02 Speaker 01 Well, originally it was for five and I said, can we have a teller?
11:05 Speaker 02 No, literally almost nothing, other than sort of a Mars bar you could get for under £5. So we went our separate ways at Menbury and Jordan had Izzy with him. I had Jump Cut Jack and well, we succeeded. In fact, some of us had 2P left over to donate to charity. I actually don't know what the charity was, didn't even look at the box. It could just have been the tip jar, but if they even have that at WH Smith at Menbury Services. Anyway, let's have a little listen to how that went.
11:36 Speaker 01 The time is up, the challenge is over for the £10 service station gift challenge.
11:41 Speaker 02 It's difficult, wasn't it?
11:42 Speaker 01 It was actually, it was. Okay, what have you got me then?
11:46 Speaker 02 Well, I've got you, now I know this is going back on everything I've said for years, but I got you a coaster saying Mr Right.
11:53 Speaker 01 Oh, I like that. That's really good. I'm gonna remember that. So that's Mr Right.
11:58 Speaker 02 Now, I also got you, because it was free, the Waitrose food magazine.
12:04 Speaker 01 Contractually, I cannot accept that.
12:06 Speaker 02 It's all over him.
12:07 Speaker 01 Contractually, I cannot accept that.
12:09 Speaker 02 And then I also got...
12:11 Speaker 01 I'm M&S till I die.
12:12 Speaker 02 I got you a toddler on that says you're a star. Ironic. Why did you get me?
12:18 Speaker 01 Okay, so I went on one of the grabbers, yeah?
12:21 Speaker 02 Flipping heck.
12:22 Speaker 01 And I won you an actual teddy. It's a Buzz Lightyear teddy.
12:25 Speaker 02 Oh, that's nice.
12:28 Speaker 01 Well, it'll look like you next year.
12:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, thank you if I keep going to the gym.
12:32 Speaker 01 And I had a bit of money left over. And I thought, get a little Kinder Egg.
12:37 Speaker 02 Oh, I love a Kinder Surprise.
12:39 Speaker 01 Do you? And there you go.
12:40 Speaker 02 Oh, I think the chicken's dead now. Well, hilarity ensued. I think it's safe to say probably...
12:47 Speaker 01 Where are they?
12:48 Speaker 02 Well, I've eaten one of mine.
12:49 Speaker 01 Oh.
12:50 Speaker 02 Because you gave me a Kinder Surprise.
12:52 Speaker 01 And the...
12:52 Speaker 02 And it was no surprise. I ate it.
12:54 Speaker 01 And the Buzz Lightyear teddy bear, one on the claw.
12:57 Speaker 02 Where's my Buzz?
12:58 Speaker 01 Oh, your Buzz is here.
12:59 Speaker 02 Okay.
12:59 Speaker 01 Oh, he's cute, his Buzz.
13:01 Speaker 02 He's got a Buzz cut as well, which is nice.
13:03 Speaker 01 Buzz cut. Where's my...
13:05 Speaker 02 He is missing his helmet. Can I say that?
13:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, but then...
13:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, it would probably not be very soft, would it?
13:10 Speaker 01 Folded in, I think.
13:11 Speaker 02 And this is from the Disney Pixar Lightyear, which I didn't actually ever watch. But I feel inspired to watch it off the back of your very kind gift. So you gave me that and a Kinder Surprise. And I gave you, I did give you the free Waitrose magazine because it was free.
13:29 Speaker 01 No, contractually I didn't.
13:31 Speaker 02 Yes, I did.
13:31 Speaker 01 Accept, acknowledge or touch that. Toby Lown, I love Toby Lown.
13:35 Speaker 02 Toblerone.
13:36 Speaker 01 I can't say it, but I like it.
13:37 Speaker 02 Toblerone.
13:37 Speaker 01 Toblerone, what is it?
13:38 Speaker 02 Toblerone.
13:39 Speaker 01 Toblerone, Toblerone, Toblerone, I can't say it.
13:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:43 Speaker 01 That and squirrel.
13:44 Speaker 02 Right. Well, you just said squirrel perfectly.
13:46 Speaker 01 Did I say squirrel all right then?
13:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, you've said it twice now.
13:48 Speaker 01 I just want to think about it. I can't say squirrel.
13:51 Speaker 02 Tob...
13:52 Speaker 01 Tob...
13:53 Speaker 02 La...
13:53 Speaker 01 La...
13:54 Speaker 02 Ron.
13:54 Speaker 01 Toby Lown.
13:56 Speaker 02 You were just doing this deliberately.
13:56 Speaker 01 Toby Lown.
13:57 Speaker 02 Toblerone, there we go.
13:58 Speaker 01 Toblerone.
13:59 Speaker 02 Toblerone.
14:00 Speaker 01 Toblerone.
14:01 Speaker 02 And it says also on it, it's a special one, you're a star.
14:04 Speaker 01 Thank you.
14:05 Speaker 02 And I gave you a coaster ironically.
14:07 Speaker 01 I like that coaster.
14:09 Speaker 02 It's quite big. It says Mr. Right with some hearts on it and a little blue bow tie.
14:13 Speaker 01 You just know someone's seen that and their manager at work has that. She's like...
14:18 Speaker 02 I don't think you could get it for a manager.
14:21 Speaker 01 Mr. Right.
14:22 Speaker 02 I think that...
14:22 Speaker 01 Or Mrs. Right.
14:23 Speaker 02 Managers can be of any gender identity. Well, there we go. Who won?
14:29 Speaker 01 Who won?
14:29 Speaker 02 I think it was a school draw.
14:30 Speaker 01 Can I just, can we...
14:32 Speaker 03 You both did well, I think.
14:33 Speaker 02 I think we both did all right. I did donate to charity, so maybe that tips me over the edge. And I win by two p.
14:39 Speaker 01 All right, let's go to-
14:40 Speaker 02 Did you use up all your money?
14:42 Speaker 01 No. I had about-
14:43 Speaker 03 He had two P left as well, I think.
14:45 Speaker 02 What did you do with that?
14:46 Speaker 01 Well, technically, I had to use my card.
14:48 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
14:49 Speaker 01 Because to use that machine at the services was £7.99, £7.99 for a grabber. But it was a guaranteed win.
14:55 Speaker 02 Well, look, next weekend, we're on the bus from Glasgow to Manchester, so we could maybe do another service station game. Maybe I can roll the dice and have my first ever KFC.
15:04 Speaker 01 That's a great idea.
15:05 Speaker 02 I don't want to ever perform at Manchester.
15:07 Speaker 01 Can you be a bit more inclusive, please? It's F K C, F K C for us dyslexics. I fucked that up as well.
15:14 Speaker 02 Good, good.
15:15 Speaker 01 That would have been funny if I got that right. It's gonna be a great show tonight. So it's K C F for us dyslexics, please?
15:21 Speaker 02 Right, yeah, that led it together nicely.
15:25 Speaker 02 Anonymous has been in touch regarding our discussion on whether you can be too old for oral sex.
15:30 Speaker 01 I'm dreading this.
15:31 Speaker 02 Good day, gentlemen. After listening to a recent episode, I couldn't resist weighing in on the age limit for oral sex. Preposterous. Though I consider myself middle aged, I have made a wise and wonderful pairing with a man much older than myself. After 25 years together, I can confidently assert that there is no age limit on oral or indeed any sex act. Furthermore, as to the additional discussion of toothless oral gratification, I can also contribute that this is indeed a jolly and pleasurable experience. I don't want to read the next sentence.
16:02 Speaker 01 Told you.
16:03 Speaker 02 My husband wears dentures and will gladly remove them before we engage in sexual activities. Oral performed on a woman by a person with no teeth is called a smoothie. And oral performed on a man by a person with no teeth is called a gummer.
16:19 Speaker 01 Gummer? Read that in brackets.
16:21 Speaker 02 Mama loves a smoothie.
16:24 Speaker 01 Thanks, mama.
16:25 Speaker 02 Hope this helps. Anonymous.
16:27 Speaker 01 There you go. There you go. Told you, I said-
16:31 Speaker 02 Can I just say, if you are listening to this and you're thinking, you know, where's a podcast with slightly more highbrow content? Can I recommend The Luxury Podcast, which is like this without the oral sex?
16:42 Speaker 03 That is shameless.
16:44 Speaker 02 Or Capital Breakfast. There's no oral sex on Capital Breakfast.
16:47 Speaker 01 You and Jonathan talk about this sort of stuff all the time on it?
16:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, but in code.
16:55 Speaker 01 Exactly. And he assumed, he's not exactly Moscow, he's like, "And do you, William, like to eat sausage and mash?
17:06 Speaker 01 And have you ever tasted a tangerine?
17:09 Speaker 02 Right, okay.
17:10 Speaker 01 You get it?
17:11 Speaker 02 Right.
17:12 Speaker 01 In code. "Is he in the church? Is he family? Rumours are, he bats for our team."
17:22 Speaker 01 Literally done an episode for you there.
17:24 Speaker 02 Thank you, we'll put it out.
17:26 Speaker 01 Spanish cleaning products.
17:29 Speaker 02 Now you're more, now you're talking. Um, now, after I said metal detectors give me the ick, uh, last week, we discussed who gets to keep anything they find. Jen has been in touch with more information.
17:38 Speaker 01 Okay.
17:39 Speaker 02 So she says, "I'm an archaeologist and previously worked as a finds liaison officer, FLO for short, uh, Flo, as part of the Portable Antiquities Scheme, PAS, identifying metal detectors finds and enacting the Treasure Act 1996."
17:55 Speaker 01 There's a treasure act, 1996.
17:57 Speaker 02 Jordan was not necessarily correct when he said that they have to give finds to the landowner or museum. The finds must be split 50/50 with the landowner and museums do not get them unless they're purchased. Often museums must fundraise and will usually only take significant items like the Staffordshire Hoard.
18:15 Speaker 01 Oh, I, do you know what? I might be wrong. I think we need to do a film on that.
18:19 Speaker 02 The Staffordshire Hoard.
18:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's a big, they, they found loads of, was it Roman artefacts and coins and stuff? It was a massive hoard.
18:30 Speaker 02 I was once at school with the Staffordshire Hall.
18:34 Speaker 02 We're still right.
18:37 Speaker 01 And did you hoard the Staffordshire Hoard? And did you hoard him in the Staffordshire? What is it? Was it loads of coins and stuff, Jack?
18:46 Speaker 04 Yeah, it was the largest collection of Anglo-Saxon gold and silver they've discovered. Four thousand items.
18:53 Speaker 01 Saxon? When, when was that found?
18:55 Speaker 04 In 2009, near Tamworth.
18:57 Speaker 01 You know what I'm gonna be doing tonight at two in the morning? When I'm wired awake and wired after being on stage in front of thousands of people?
19:03 Speaker 02 Having a whine.
19:04 Speaker 01 Getting into a Staffordshire Hoard black hole.
19:07 Speaker 02 Again, I was at school with them. I would also like to say that nearly 90% of the finds, Jen continues, are worth absolutely nothing. I can identify many Roman coins and brooches. You wouldn't believe how many different ones there are, and they're incredibly worthless. Having also spent a lot of time with metal detectors, I must agree with William as 90% of them are slightly odd and seem not to know how to interact with people, especially girls. It was, however, the coolest job I've ever had and really interesting. Well, there we go, Jen. Thank you for letting me know.
19:34 Speaker 01 We would now like to, uh, what's the word? Being impartial to hear from the other side?
19:41 Speaker 02 For balance?
19:42 Speaker 01 For balance, we would like to invite any-
19:44 Speaker 02 Impartiality.
19:45 Speaker 01 For impartiality. No, it's like when you come back, legal terms.
19:48 Speaker 03 Right of reply.
19:49 Speaker 01 Thank you. If any metal detectorists want to get in touch-
19:54 Speaker 02 Yep.
19:55 Speaker 01 Please do. It'd be lovely to hear from you to prove that you're not all weird or not.
19:59 Speaker 03 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
20:02 Speaker 01 At the end of the day-
20:03 Speaker 02 He's doing a joke.
20:04 Speaker 01 At the end of the day, there's nothing more, there's no one more weirder than radio presenters.
20:08 Speaker 02 Exactly.
20:09 Speaker 01 I will go to my grave and say that.
20:11 Speaker 02 And there's nothing weird about etiquette coaches, no.
20:13 Speaker 01 Etiquette coaches aren't weird, but radio presenters are a bunch.
20:16 Speaker 03 My goodness.
20:19 Speaker 02 What place is alive? It's probably the stage-
20:21 Speaker 03 Rolling things above us.
20:22 Speaker 01 Mikey going for his dinner, no doubt. It never stops. Fee, fi, fo, fam. There's now on him as well.
20:29 Speaker 02 I know.
20:30 Speaker 01 The boy can it. I just watching it. I'm like a, I'm like a northern, and when I see your Mikey eating, I'm just watching him in awe. Fee, fi, fo, fam.
20:40 Speaker 02 Lovely.
20:41 Speaker 01 That wasn't me like being horrible.
20:43 Speaker 02 No, no, no, it wasn't. No, no, no. I just need the loot, so.
20:46 Speaker 01 Oh, sorry. All right, okay.
20:47 Speaker 02 Need to find, anyone got a document wallet on them?
20:48 Speaker 01 Uh, let's finish our episode with comment of the week. This can be from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials.
20:55 Speaker 02 Before we get to our favourite one, the honourable mentions. Louise commented on Friday's episode where we declared 60 is the upper limit for oral sex.
21:01 Speaker 01 We didn't declare that.
21:02 Speaker 02 We didn't. Jordan did.
21:03 Speaker 01 I didn't.
21:04 Speaker 02 Yes, you did.
21:05 Speaker 01 I don't, can't be I was getting in trouble with-
21:06 Speaker 02 And Louise says, quite rightly, wait until you're 60, then you will realise how wrong you were. Charles replied to say, 70s and still going, or should that be coming?
21:15 Speaker 01 Go on, Charles.
21:18 Speaker 01 Go on.
21:18 Speaker 02 However, our comment of the week goes to Jedward, remember them? Who commented on Jordan prancing around Pineapple Dance Studios to say, "I'm not going to do the accent. This is so junky, we're obsessed."
21:30 Speaker 01 They were at my kitchen recently for a new YouTube series I'm doing, which you should check out. I'm not really told about it before, Belt a Box. Check it out on there, it's a new series, Surprise Dinner Party. I've loved doing it, it's been really, really good. Just type in Surprise Dinner Party YouTube. They came around, but Jedward commented on everybody's socials. So I don't know if that's worthy of a comment of the week.
21:52 Speaker 02 Well, I think it is.
21:53 Speaker 01 All right. Remember you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday, 24 hours before, anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected] . We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to. So if that's you, get back in touch and we'll see you on Tuesday.
22:11 Speaker 02 Goodbye.
22:19 Speaker 05 1965, London. The world's largest uncut diamond has been stolen from the Natural History Museum. Shortly after, a young London window cleaner is arrested.
22:32 Speaker 01 They said you're nicked, you're in a lot of trouble.
22:34 Speaker 05 But was he set up? Wanted, I've led to a fall of two cops. His family say he is guilty, but of a totally different crime.
22:44 Speaker 06 You're not going to end up going to prison, are you, kidlet?
22:46 Speaker 05 I'm Jacey Long and this is Rough Diamond. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.
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