Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss Help I’ve Never Shaved My Pubes | And Jordan’s Buckfast Regret About this episode The boys are back on the bus leaving the bonnie streets of Glasgow for the nostalgic sights of Manchester. Jordan is regretting getting overly excited with a half pint of Buckfast, while William is regretting agreeing to let Producer Ben read the dilemmas - even if it means saving himself from feeling carsick. After getting over Ben's monotone voice, they tackle your dilemmas involving accidentally sexting your barber and how to shave your pubes for the first time.
If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected] , and for more Sexted fun sign up https://sextedmyboss.com/newsletter/ to our free VIG&Diva newsletter. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss.
Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production.
If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected] . You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Scaling your business doesn't have to mean endless meetings or repetitive training. With Camtasia Pro, teams can easily transform their expertise into engaging video content. No professional editing experience required. By combining screen recording, editing, and AI-powered workflows into one simple solution, Camtasia Pro helps you train faster, onboard smarter, and easily document critical processes. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
0:36 Speaker 01 Hello, this is Suzy Ruffel. And Maisy Adam. And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mais, what is it? Only the best podcast ever. Yeah. A comedy entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel. Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping too. Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip.
0:59 Speaker 01 You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. Just need to search Big Kick Energy. Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.
1:14 Speaker 02 Hello and welcome to Help I Sexted My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life, answering your 21st century questions and finding solutions to everyday dilemmas. Like, what should you do when you get your horse to cross a bridge? How do you get to sleep after you've downed half a pint of Buckfast Live on stage? That's why I couldn't sleep last night.
1:35 Speaker 03 It's your own fault.
1:36 Speaker 02 That's why I couldn't sleep last night.
1:38 Speaker 03 It's full of caffeine.
1:39 Speaker 02 I didn't realise. It's full of caffeine, isn't it?
1:41 Speaker 03 Yeah. If only someone had said, don't even bring that Buckfast on stage.
1:46 Speaker 02 Half past two. Oh, you're gonna be... Are you in that mood today? Is that how we're starting?
1:53 Speaker 03 Contrary.
1:54 Speaker 02 Is that the William Hanson we're getting today?
1:56 Speaker 03 We've got one more day and then you go on holiday, so.
1:58 Speaker 02 It was a great moment that brought the house down. Just because you-
2:02 Speaker 03 Literally the highlight of the show.
2:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, because you spent days, hours, months and weeks working on the songs and I come on with Buckfast and it brings the house down. I get it, I get it.
2:13 Speaker 03 Recollections may vary.
2:14 Speaker 02 I get it, I'd be the same, I'd be the same.
2:17 Speaker 03 Well, good luck tonight.
2:19 Speaker 02 That's why I couldn't sleep last night. Alright, how'd you get sleep after you've downed half a pint of Buckfast live on stage in Glasgow? And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss? But, we have not usual agony answer, we William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert.
2:32 Speaker 03 No, we're not, Jordan North, radio presenter, I'm more sitting on tour buses, you're more kisses on my bussy. They're making me read that.
2:41 Speaker 02 It works, look-
2:42 Speaker 03 That's from Dixon Dallas.
2:43 Speaker 02 They're busy, they're busy.
2:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:46 Speaker 02 You know?
2:46 Speaker 03 No, not, not busy, bussy.
2:48 Speaker 02 Bussy, they, they, I've got to say, whilst we're on the tour bus at the moment, the, the guys, our production team have, have, have been great, they've worked so hard. Couple of mistakes in the script and a few dodgy edits, but, we, we, we're all on-
3:02 Speaker 03 Excuse me, in their defence- Hi guys, hang on a second, this is not fair. I mean, Jordan's coming out with a ta- an attack on everyone already.
3:11 Speaker 02 No, I was not-
3:11 Speaker 03 What's that bit in the show I do about, a week before Jordan goes on holiday, he's in Severn, nothing's a good idea?
3:16 Speaker 02 No, that is not true.
3:19 Speaker 03 Rips everyone to shreds?
3:20 Speaker 02 Also, that was a joke and you can tell everyone's tired and tense.
3:23 Speaker 03 Do you know, it was a joke because everybody laughed. This feels, this feels like the end of Oasis, doesn't it?
3:28 Speaker 02 It was, it was a joke and alright, chill out.
3:32 Speaker 03 I've got to defend my team.
3:33 Speaker 02 No, my, our team.
3:34 Speaker 03 Our team, exactly.
3:36 Speaker 02 It was a joke, Jack, I was joking. But yeah, uh, we're, we're on the tour bus.
3:40 Speaker 03 Someone's not had a good night's sleep.
3:41 Speaker 02 I'm fine, I have had a good night's sleep, thank you very much, just not had my coffee.
3:46 Speaker 03 No, well, you had so much caffeine in the Buckfast. And also, contrary to our belief, as I discovered, it doesn't make you fuck fast.
3:53 Speaker 02 It does. That's what, it does, apparently.
3:56 Speaker 03 It's alright.
3:56 Speaker 02 Buckfast makes you fuck fast.
3:58 Speaker 03 You didn't get the joke.
3:59 Speaker 02 Um, oh, oh, I'm with you. Uh, we're currently leaving beautiful Scotland, you can tell-
4:05 Speaker 03 I had to put your show rail on so you could finish.
4:13 Speaker 03 Beverley Callard came on screen and oof.
4:16 Speaker 02 Just for the record, I didn't have books fast chem sex with William.
4:24 Speaker 03 Chem sex?
4:25 Speaker 02 Well, that's funny. I was trying to think what it would be. Would it be?
4:28 Speaker 03 It would just be drunken sex.
4:29 Speaker 02 Would having sex on books fast be a form of chem sex?
4:33 Speaker 03 No, because they're not chemical.
4:34 Speaker 04 Let us know.
4:35 Speaker 03 Yes, healthandsexwithmyboss.com.
4:37 Speaker 02 For the record, I didn't have chem sex or book fast sex with William. All right, now I'm going to paint the scene. Picture the scene. Paint. We're currently leaving Scotland. It's a beautiful country. We've had a really, really good night in Glasgow.
4:53 Speaker 03 Lovely night.
4:53 Speaker 02 I just, I feel like, I don't want to say this because you know, like, but I feel like I can, I can connect with the Scottish people.
5:03 Speaker 03 Well, do you want us to just pull over and leave you behind?
5:05 Speaker 02 I might do. I might get, I'd love a little house up here one day. I felt like they were definitely with us on everything last night.
5:13 Speaker 03 But all our audiences have been brilliant.
5:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's true. But I just, I've got like a bit, I've genuinely got a massive soft spot for Glasgow, for Scotland. I think they've got a real proper good sense of humour.
5:25 Speaker 03 Is that because like you, they're all raging alcoholics?
5:29 Speaker 04 Hang on a second. I've got to defend my Jordan here. That can't come from William.
5:33 Speaker 02 I mean, it's going to be that sort of show. It's going to be that sort of show.
5:36 Speaker 04 I would, can I just say, if you don't mind me interjecting again?
5:40 Speaker 03 Yes, Ben.
5:40 Speaker 04 I was watching the show and I did think the same, Jordan. I thought like, wow, considering you don't come from Scotland, you do like know all of the sort of like little in jokes that the Scottish people love it. It's genuinely impressive.
5:52 Speaker 02 Thank you. Jack said yesterday that you, what was your?
5:57 Speaker 02 I was on scintillating form.
5:59 Speaker 04 You are on scintillating form.
6:01 Speaker 02 William nailed it last night. He was great. You were really good last night.
6:04 Speaker 03 Thank you. I'm consistent.
6:05 Speaker 04 I think he's looking for you to say the same back.
6:07 Speaker 02 No, no, no, no, no, I wasn't. You were genuinely good. I don't like compliments. But yeah, I do. I think I just, they're like the Northern Irish. They've got a great piss-taky sense of humour.
6:17 Speaker 03 Yes, which is basically what we do on the podcast, which is why it works so nicely.
6:22 Speaker 02 It was a real special show last night. I just, I think they're lovely up here as well.
6:26 Speaker 03 They are.
6:26 Speaker 02 They do out for you.
6:27 Speaker 04 Oh, look, there's snow on those hills over there.
6:30 Speaker 02 We even made a joke about.
6:33 Speaker 03 I did a football joke.
6:34 Speaker 02 You did a football, I was just gonna say, we even made a joke about the Queen and.
6:37 Speaker 03 Well, it wasn't a joke about the Queen, we referred to the royal family.
6:40 Speaker 02 There was no boos, because usually it gets a boo, because obviously it's quite divided. And, and I even made a joke about England. How did no one know that the Fattillies was a fucking Celtic song? That went down like a lead balloon. So there's a bit in the, um, we can say it now, there's a bit in the show where William and I do a DJ set.
6:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, and your first song was always the same.
7:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, William plays a track, I play a track. So my first track is the Fattillies Chelsea Dagger, which I actually play at every DJ gig. And it's.
7:11 Speaker 03 If you haven't heard of it.
7:12 Speaker 02 I took that mic out of his hand, right? Goes down pretty well, and I knew as soon as I played it, didn't I?
7:18 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah, it was on for seconds.
7:21 Speaker 02 And I knew as soon as I played it, I thought, ah, and then after I come off, I was like, apparently Celtic used to use it or still use it when they score a goal to celebrate.
7:30 Speaker 03 Surprisingly, Alicia Dixon's The Boy Does Nothing, not a football song.
7:34 Speaker 02 Good.
7:34 Speaker 03 That has not yet been claimed. Not yet. But I'm sure Stoke or Everton, just naming teams, uh, will probably claim it.
7:44 Speaker 04 Well, I think the best reaction of the tour to a DJ track that you played was in Wales, you played Delilah, which is Stoke's song.
7:52 Speaker 02 So the whole point of the skit is I say, like, you've got to know your audience, you've got to know where you are. And it's true. When I do a DJ set, I always try and play a song that the, that'll bring the house down. So in Cardiff, I played.
8:03 Speaker 04 Delilah.
8:04 Speaker 02 Delilah.
8:05 Speaker 04 Tom Jones.
8:05 Speaker 02 Tonight, at the time of recording, Manchester, I'm gonna play something from Oasis.
8:08 Speaker 04 How did you come up with the idea to play Oasis tonight?
8:10 Speaker 02 Well, just Manchester. And then last night in Glasgow, I played You Can't Kick Your Granny Off A Bus.
8:16 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, lovely.
8:17 Speaker 02 It went down well.
8:18 Speaker 03 It did actually go down very well. And I've actually never, I've only ever heard it with you singing it. I haven't actually ever heard a track of it. It's actually quite musical.
8:25 Speaker 04 So you, do you retract all of the shit that you've been giving Jordan for wanting to play that song during the Glasgow.
8:31 Speaker 03 Do I retract it? Absolutely not. No.
8:36 Speaker 02 Anyway.
8:36 Speaker 03 But I won't chastise you further, let's put it that way.
8:39 Speaker 02 I'm gonna ask you, your highlight of last night and your highlight of the tour so far.
8:42 Speaker 03 Do you know what was so lovely? Because obviously Cardiff first show, which was a great show, it was the first time we'd done it, so it was a bit frenetic backstage before we got on. Wembley was Wembley and there was lots of stuff to do. And actually, what was so nice yesterday is just we'd done the sound check, actually was able to have dinner, which we all, you know, some of us had dinner. And then we.
9:08 Speaker 02 Do you mean?
9:09 Speaker 03 Well, some of us had dinner.
9:10 Speaker 02 I had dinner.
9:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, there we go.
9:12 Speaker 04 We went to the catering room.
9:13 Speaker 03 We went to the catering room.
9:14 Speaker 04 And we all had our dinner.
9:15 Speaker 03 Session catering.
9:16 Speaker 04 Together, all of the team.
9:18 Speaker 03 Which was very nice and.
9:20 Speaker 02 I had to go and get air and makeup. Is that a dig at me because I couldn't sit with you?
9:23 Speaker 03 I was not digging, I was not digging, I was not digging there, he dug.
9:28 Speaker 02 Why didn't you ring? I had to go and get me air and makeup.
9:29 Speaker 03 Yes, I know you did, you took yours, you did your.
9:31 Speaker 02 I took mine off.
9:32 Speaker 04 It was a big job.
9:34 Speaker 03 Takes a, takes a what? You were showering, actually, to be fair.
9:37 Speaker 02 That's why I needed a shower, so I was like eating and.
9:39 Speaker 03 And then I was able.
9:40 Speaker 02 Shower bears, I had shower fish and chips last night.
9:43 Speaker 03 And then I was able to go onto the stage and just look out and take it all in and just have a moment. And that was lovely and I felt very centred. I don't want to go all yoga about it, but I, I felt just very calm. So that was nice. And then obviously the show itself.
9:58 Speaker 02 Whereas I'd rather be rehearsing pretty much about half an hour until we went on stage, just to get comfortable with your surroundings.
10:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:08 Speaker 02 That's how we differ.
10:09 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah, well, you know, that's what makes this podcast work, doesn't it?
10:13 Speaker 02 What's been the highlight of your tour, of the tour so far?
10:16 Speaker 03 Just like getting to know everyone has been gorgeous. And I mean, obviously we know the team, but like the extended team, Abby on makeup, the dancers, Billy the choreographer, the production crew, Adam, Harriet, just hanging out with everyone.
10:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:30 Speaker 03 Has been, has been gorgeous.
10:31 Speaker 04 It's like a little school trip, isn't it?
10:32 Speaker 03 It is, it's like, it is a school trip.
10:35 Speaker 04 No, we've, I think my, obviously the shows are amazing, they're like something that you're never going to be able to do again probably is performing in an arena. But not that I was doing that much performing. But I do think that those moments in the hotel bars afterwards are just so nice, being able to chat together and.
10:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, remember, these are the good old days. You know, when people say, oh, those were the good old days.
10:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:57 Speaker 02 Remember the good old days.
10:58 Speaker 03 Are we having the good old days?
10:59 Speaker 02 We're living it, you're like, we'll never be. As lucky as this again, we are living, I'm doing the job I love, I get to do this every week, we're doing arenas at weekends, I'm going away, it's sweet, these are the good old days.
11:10 Speaker 03 All right, okay. Well, thank you very much.
11:13 Speaker 04 Thanks Bob, do love.
11:14 Speaker 03 Thank you, yes.
11:15 Speaker 02 Say one nice thing and I get fucking torn to shreds and I make a joke about being a-
11:22 Speaker 04 I like it, I like it.
11:23 Speaker 02 Mistaking the script.
11:25 Speaker 03 Now, tonight we're on route to Manchester, well now we're on route to Manchester and we have got your mum and dad coming.
11:31 Speaker 02 Yes.
11:31 Speaker 03 Your family and anyone they have ever met.
11:38 Speaker 02 It's true. She rang me yesterday as I was setting off.
11:41 Speaker 03 I know.
11:42 Speaker 02 She said Caroline Palmer's coming now. I thought, I've not seen Caroline for 20 odd years. She said she's coming, to be fair, Caroline, Adam was my best friend as a kid.
11:53 Speaker 04 Adam Palmer has been mentioned on the podcast before.
11:55 Speaker 02 Has Adam Palmer been mentioned before? So Adam and his sister Claire and his wife, anyway, they were all, they'd bought tickets, bless them. I didn't, so I said, they're coming, they're coming to after party, I'm getting them on guest list, but she was, anyway, go on.
12:07 Speaker 03 Stu, I mean, Stu said to me, he's pre-ordered 40 pizzas and he thinks we'll have too much.
12:12 Speaker 02 No, I think we'll have do little. Not with the north.
12:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, quite.
12:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, could we order some more?
12:18 Speaker 03 I think we bloody well should.
12:19 Speaker 02 Especially if it's free, Bradley will probably take some home for kids.
12:22 Speaker 03 No, he bloody won't.
12:24 Speaker 04 You know, nothing in this world is free, Jordan.
12:26 Speaker 02 Anyway, so we spoke to Wendy before, didn't we?
12:29 Speaker 03 We did speak to Wendy, you gave them a call. I've been trying to get through to the butchers there to order my meat for Easter. I need to, when we get to the ads, I'm gonna have another go. You spoke to your mum and your dad?
12:42 Speaker 02 Yes.
12:42 Speaker 03 Wendy's gone to get her hair done.
12:43 Speaker 02 She has, she's getting her hair done.
12:44 Speaker 03 Obviously, tonight's all about her.
12:46 Speaker 02 Right, don't be a bitch.
12:50 Speaker 02 Don't be a bitch.
12:52 Speaker 03 Well, in many ways it is. Say no more. Well, no, this has gone out now, but yeah.
12:56 Speaker 02 She said, what did you say to her on the phone? I put her on loudspeaker.
12:58 Speaker 03 I said, oh Wendy, I hope you're still speaking to me by the end of the show. And she went, oh, well, well, William, I'll let you know if I'm not. And I went, yeah, I'm sure you will.
13:06 Speaker 02 She went, oh, what's he like, Graham? Graham, what's he like? He said, I said, I'll let you know. And he said, I'm sure you will.
13:15 Speaker 03 No, I am. I am genuinely actually quite concerned that at the after party, either your dad or your mum will come and punch me.
13:21 Speaker 04 Can I just say, I am also, I share this concern.
13:23 Speaker 02 I'm concerned and I'll, I'll tell you why, Jean Devers.
13:26 Speaker 03 But I would just say, Jordan wrote that bit of the script, Wendy. So I, I am just, I am just a conduit for your second son's words.
13:34 Speaker 04 By the time this comes out on Tuesday, this is going to be far too late to reconcile.
13:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, I might have a black eye.
13:38 Speaker 02 Snitches get stitches. Right. There's a sketch in the show where we come on after the break and I come on dressed as William's mother. So I've got like a long fur coat, a cracking wig, got a long cigarette holder, bottle of champagne. And I'm like champagne, champagne. And I speak to the audience as William's mum goes down a tree. To be fair as well, can I just say, it was a wonderful, I tell everyone this, it was a wonderful, powerful moment where we came up with that idea. So like, right, how do we, how do we top Last Tall when you come on as camp man?
14:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, sprinkles, sparkles, span.
14:10 Speaker 02 And we're going over ideas and we're writing stuff down on a whiteboard and stuff. I'm in this like boardroom and Ben was looking at me. Oh, it was a magical moment, this, right?
14:18 Speaker 03 Was it?
14:19 Speaker 02 Ben was, do you remember? Ben was looking at me going, come on, George, you're nearly there. You're there. And I was pacing up and down. I was like, no, no, no, that's not it. And then I just went, right. Hear me out. What if I come out as William's mum, long coat, fur coat?
14:33 Speaker 03 What were you going to say there?
14:34 Speaker 02 Wig on, that kind of thing. And then William comes out as Wendy. And it was a magical moment, wasn't it?
14:44 Speaker 03 So magical.
14:45 Speaker 02 And when we came up with that idea and then, yeah.
14:47 Speaker 04 I do think the extra little surprise that happened as well was my idea. So I just want to.
14:51 Speaker 02 What was it? A little surprise?
14:52 Speaker 03 The video.
14:53 Speaker 04 I don't want a surprise. I don't want a.
14:54 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah. So.
14:55 Speaker 03 It's a lovely sequence.
14:57 Speaker 02 William basically then comes out as my mum and that's what we're all worried about tonight.
15:01 Speaker 03 I love.
15:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, do your impression.
15:03 Speaker 03 Well, I just did it.
15:04 Speaker 02 And when I wrote it. You, honestly, when you, when I wrote it, you really lifted it off the page, as they say.
15:10 Speaker 03 Oh, thank you.
15:11 Speaker 02 Mate, honestly, you deliver it so well.
15:15 Speaker 03 You are, in many ways, the Shakespeare of your day, and I am, I'm the Judi Dench, and I am just taking your words and running with them.
15:22 Speaker 02 Do your first line, because I think you deliver it so well.
15:24 Speaker 03 Oh, Graham, a tenner lady is in tatters.
15:28 Speaker 02 Brilliant. I imagine.
15:29 Speaker 03 I don't really know what that means.
15:31 Speaker 02 It makes, it still makes me smile now.
15:33 Speaker 03 Right. Does your mum wear a tenner lady?
15:34 Speaker 04 Your mother's tenner lady's.
15:36 Speaker 02 No, it was a line, I don't know why. My auntie came in after a run one day. She burst the door open, didn't even knock. Debbie, she went, "Oh, Wendy, get us a drink. My tenner lady's in tatters." And she'd just been for a run.
15:51 Speaker 03 Right. Did she go to finishing school?
15:53 Speaker 02 No.
15:54 Speaker 03 No.
15:55 Speaker 02 So, yeah, that's why we're all worried, because for the first time, Wendy is going to see William tonight as Wendy.
16:00 Speaker 03 I mean, she knows about it.
16:02 Speaker 02 There was a lot of back and forth on the costume.
16:04 Speaker 03 Yes.
16:05 Speaker 02 Yes.
16:05 Speaker 04 Jordan had very passionate views.
16:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, so, yes, so actually, if Wendy doesn't like the costume, again, Jordan signed it off.
16:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, William, William had a very different creative.
16:16 Speaker 02 Well, you've got a live, laugh, love shirt on.
16:18 Speaker 03 Well, it doesn't, it says, it says, live, love, laugh.
16:21 Speaker 02 Again, they've all had a long week.
16:23 Speaker 03 No, that's not the product. No, we thought it would be funny, because then it looks like.
16:27 Speaker 02 Jack, it's fine. Yeah, I think you're doing a great job. I'm not being critical.
16:30 Speaker 03 Jack, do you want to punch him?
16:31 Speaker 02 Does it matter, live, love, laugh?
16:33 Speaker 03 I'll hold him down.
16:33 Speaker 02 Jack, in the grand scheme of things, does live, love, laugh matter? No.
16:37 Speaker 04 It doesn't.
16:38 Speaker 03 I think it's additional comedy, because it's got it wrong.
16:41 Speaker 02 Basically, he's dressed like, he's dressed like a Karen.
16:46 Speaker 03 I mean, ironically, my brother, who came to watch it in Wembley, said that I actually look more like my mother in the 90s than your mother.
16:54 Speaker 02 So, yeah, I'm a bit worried about that.
16:55 Speaker 04 You look quite stylish, I think.
16:57 Speaker 03 It's very stylish. My husband even asked, can we keep the jeans? So, didn't you?
17:02 Speaker 02 Well, it's just, it's.
17:05 Speaker 02 Recollections may vary. It's his fives and it's weird doing impression with them looking. Being right. His fives and quads look really good in them, Jordan.
17:15 Speaker 03 Oh, you've noticed, have you?
17:17 Speaker 02 So I thought, bring them home and Ugg boots as well.
17:22 Speaker 03 Oh, no.
17:22 Speaker 02 I'll take them. By the way, I want them Ugg boots.
17:24 Speaker 03 You can have them. Yeah.
17:25 Speaker 04 Obviously, William and Mikey share tops, but you don't share bottoms.
17:28 Speaker 03 We don't share bottoms, no.
17:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:30 Speaker 04 Stay with William.
17:31 Speaker 02 Good night last night. Ran away to Manchester. We're a bit worried. A, my family are going to be a bit rowdy.
17:38 Speaker 03 Yes.
17:38 Speaker 02 B, Wendy's going to kick off at William's impression because you never know it, Wendy. She's going to find, there's not to be no in between.
17:43 Speaker 03 No.
17:44 Speaker 02 She'll find it really funny or she'll be like, can I have a word?
17:47 Speaker 03 Oh, no, I'm really anxious.
17:49 Speaker 02 Not joking.
17:50 Speaker 03 Can I just say, you have to be by my side when I'm seeing your mum.
17:52 Speaker 02 Of course.
17:54 Speaker 03 Literally.
17:56 Speaker 04 Can't tell if Jordan is also scared.
17:57 Speaker 02 No, great. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And if she says, I'll tell you what it is, we're fucked. If anyone from Burnley or East Lancashire says, I'll tell you what it is. I'll tell you what it is right now. You're about to get.
18:09 Speaker 03 No, I'm so anxious.
18:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:11 Speaker 03 Can I just not do the impression tonight?
18:13 Speaker 02 No, it's part of the show.
18:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, cut that bit.
18:16 Speaker 02 I've got a bit about you giving me a semi on. I can't cut that out.
18:19 Speaker 03 Right, okay, fine. Oh, and Ben went on his another fun run, didn't you, Ben?
18:22 Speaker 02 He did.
18:23 Speaker 04 I did.
18:24 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:24 Speaker 03 How was that today in Pollock Park?
18:26 Speaker 04 It was my third one.
18:28 Speaker 02 It was the bollock in Pollock.
18:30 Speaker 04 I saw some Highland cows. You know, the famous like shaggy, like with the big horns. They were, Pollock Park is famous for the Highland cows.
18:36 Speaker 03 Oh, wow.
18:37 Speaker 04 Um, but the, but the best bit obviously was meeting some lovely Jane Devers. This was, um, I did it in London and this was again, I did, um, the run with a couple of people, Douglas and Cherry.
18:47 Speaker 02 Oh.
18:48 Speaker 04 Cherry came up from Bristol, actually, uh, for the weekend where they're partnering around.
18:51 Speaker 03 She? We were doing Cardiff, for heaven's sake. She could have come to that one.
18:54 Speaker 04 Um, I can't remember what she said, why she could have.
18:56 Speaker 02 People have lives, sitters, jobs.
18:58 Speaker 04 She came for, she, they've come to Glasgow for the weekend. I met a few others, Kirsty and a couple of others had a picture. So it's really nice actually, but it did mean I was disastrously late for breakfast.
19:08 Speaker 03 Yes, and it wasn't a buffet breakfast.
19:09 Speaker 02 No.
19:10 Speaker 04 So I text in the group being like, can you pick me up a croissant or two? And it went, it fell on deaf ears, except for.
19:16 Speaker 03 I was upstairs, actually.
19:17 Speaker 04 My saviour, Jordan North.
19:20 Speaker 02 Carry on.
19:20 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, the only reason that, well, you ordered my breakfast and then my taxi driver decided to go literally around the houses. So I arrived about 20 minutes after I was supposed to. So it was bloody cold.
19:30 Speaker 02 I have never seen a man inhale an Ex Benedict. It was 10 to 11, right?
19:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:34 Speaker 02 Bearing in mind, we had to be on the bus by 11.
19:37 Speaker 04 11, yeah.
19:38 Speaker 02 He inhaled an Ex Benedict, seriously, right? I went upstairs because I'd already showered and that to get my case. I come down, in 10 minutes, I shook his hand at reception. In 10 minutes, an Ex Benedict got showered and was downstairs. He was downstairs before me and I left him finishing his breakfast.
19:55 Speaker 04 But Benedict by name, Benedict by nature.
19:58 Speaker 02 Did you actually have a proper shower?
20:00 Speaker 04 I rinsed some bits. Oh, God.
20:04 Speaker 03 How was I supposed to answer that question?
20:06 Speaker 04 That's the quote of the week, that. Did you have a proper shower? Well, I rinsed some bits. Can I give a shout out to our fellow hotel stayer, Ruby Wax?
20:13 Speaker 02 Yes.
20:14 Speaker 04 I bumped into her at checkout as well.
20:15 Speaker 02 So all the dancers were like, did you see her at checkout?
20:18 Speaker 04 Yes, her at checkout, she was there.
20:19 Speaker 02 Oh, right. Oh, I thought.
20:21 Speaker 04 Gave her a smile and all.
20:22 Speaker 02 William with Wendy's wig on again.
20:27 Speaker 04 As an uncanny, uncanny resemblance.
20:31 Speaker 02 All dancers text us on Friday and said, they flew up a bit earlier and said, Ruby Wax is on our flight. She's doing a gig tonight as well.
20:39 Speaker 04 Yes.
20:40 Speaker 02 I thought she would love.
20:41 Speaker 05 Hell, I sexed my boss. Fucking brilliant. That's hilarious. Who's this guy, William Hanson? Oh, my God, this kid's full of spunk.
20:51 Speaker 02 Like, I really wanted her to come. She's like, darling, I, I love dancers. I love the gays. I want to come, but I got my own show tonight. I got loads, I got loads of gays there. The gays love me.
21:01 Speaker 04 Very different to breakfast, that's all I'll say.
21:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, but, um, I said, we loved, she couldn't come to our show.
21:07 Speaker 04 Next time. Because she was doing her own. Although actually, my, my taxi driver to the run this morning, um, I was like, I'm going to be a bit boastful here. I'm going to be like, yeah, but just in town for the one night, actually just performed at Glasgow Arena. And he was like, oh, yeah, I've got my own podcast. We've sold out the Hydro Arena three times. I was like. Okay.
21:25 Speaker 02 Shut up.
21:26 Speaker 04 Does a footy podcast, ex-footballer.
21:28 Speaker 02 And he's a taxi driver.
21:29 Speaker 04 And he drives Ubers in his spare time.
21:32 Speaker 02 Oh, good for him. And they've sold out the Hydro three times.
21:34 Speaker 04 Three times.
21:35 Speaker 02 What's the footy podcast called?
21:37 Speaker 04 Open Goal, I haven't looked it up.
21:38 Speaker 02 I've heard of that, are you joking?
21:39 Speaker 04 Not joking at all, so that.
21:41 Speaker 02 Why is it in Scotland, all the taxi drivers are ex-footballers? Every time I've got in a taxi in Scotland, they've all been footballers.
21:48 Speaker 03 Is that because the football team in Scotland isn't very successful?
21:50 Speaker 02 No.
21:50 Speaker 03 So they've all got to do other stuff?
21:52 Speaker 04 Wow, you're saying that now we're leaving Scotland.
21:54 Speaker 02 Is that true? They've sold out the Hydro three times?
21:56 Speaker 04 That's what you told me, I had no reason not to believe it.
21:58 Speaker 02 They've sold it out.
22:00 Speaker 03 Right, we'll do William's etiquetteology, like we did with Jordan's joke of the week. Shall we sing the jingle, Roar, Roar and Dry?
22:05 Speaker 02 Roar and Dry, let's do it.
22:06 Speaker 04 Went well last week.
22:07 Speaker 03 Yes, now how does it start?
22:08 Speaker 04 If you like a chat.
22:10 Speaker 03 Oh, that's the Jordan joke!
22:12 Speaker 04 Oh, sorry.
22:13 Speaker 03 It's William.
22:14 Speaker 02 William.
22:15 Speaker 03 The etiquette geek is knowledge.
22:17 Speaker 02 Knowledge.
22:18 Speaker 03 Is quite unique, he'll give you manners.
22:20 Speaker 02 Manners.
22:21 Speaker 03 A subtle tweak. It's time for William's etiquetteology of the week.
22:32 Speaker 03 Oh my god, I've become someone who sings on buses.
22:36 Speaker 03 After.
22:38 Speaker 04 That was so good.
22:39 Speaker 03 That was so good. After these messages, I'm going to tell you all about arenas.
22:47 Speaker 02 I think I'd rather hear about Ben's Park Run again.
22:55 Speaker 06 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life. Plus, experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday, search for Life at the Midpoint.
23:23 Speaker 03 Welcome back to Ian Divers. We're on the tour bus en route to the AO Arena in Manchester.
23:31 Speaker 02 Oh, let's go.
23:33 Speaker 03 That's what we put into the sat nav. And it used to be called the MEN Arena back in my day. When I moved to Manchester, I thought, oh, the men arena.
23:40 Speaker 02 That's a bit amazing.
23:42 Speaker 03 Which is why I live next door to it. But anyway, we had a lovely time. So the arena is a smaller version of the stadium, but both have ancient roots. The stadium dates back as far as the original Olympics in ancient Greece in 1776 BCE. This was a place where races were held and the name stadium is the Latin version of stadium, a measure of length that was equivalent to 600 human feet, which was the length of the racetrack, which is why they were so big. The arena was generally a smaller enclosed venue for performances, concerts and gladiatorial combat. The name arena derives from the Latin for sand, harina. Now, the sand, why did they have sand on arena floors?
24:25 Speaker 02 Oh, I've seen it in gladiators, so you can pick it up and throw it in lions' eyes.
24:28 Speaker 03 Well, there was that.
24:29 Speaker 02 Hide the blood.
24:30 Speaker 03 It was mainly to soak up the blood from matches and animal hunts. So with the fall of Rome, arenas and stadiums were abandoned.
24:38 Speaker 02 Actually, this is very interesting, I'll give you that.
24:40 Speaker 03 Say it every time I do one.
24:42 Speaker 02 But it's not etiquette, it's mythology.
24:43 Speaker 03 No, it's not, but it's sort of related to what we're doing.
24:46 Speaker 02 It's history.
24:47 Speaker 03 With the rise of organised sports in the 19th century and the modern Olympiad from 1896, it's just before seven o'clock in the evening, stadiums, now generally known as sports stadiums, returned. They began as simple fields, which later got tiered seating. What was the first arena, though, of the modern age? Where was that?
25:05 Speaker 02 Teflon.
25:06 Speaker 03 No, that's a stadium.
25:08 Speaker 02 Wembley.
25:09 Speaker 03 Correct, yes. The first arena of the modern age was Wembley Arena. And what year was that built?
25:15 Speaker 02 Well, we did the Olympics in 1922.
25:20 Speaker 03 Later. Well, we might have done, but later. 1930. 1934.
25:25 Speaker 02 Oh.
25:26 Speaker 03 And it was opened as the Empire Pool for the Empire Games and was later used in 48 for the London Olympics. Many modern arenas are typically used for large scale events, as we know, pop concerts, smaller sports events and Kylie Minogue impersonators. So there we go. That is the history.
25:42 Speaker 02 Round of applause for.
25:43 Speaker 03 Oh, don't. Don't patronise me.
25:45 Speaker 02 Also, can I just say, whilst talking about arenas and stadiums, that was very good.
25:49 Speaker 03 Thank you.
25:50 Speaker 02 What I love now is when we go to an arena, they're like, give you a little tag or a little picture. At Cardiff, we had to sign a little sleigh.
25:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:57 Speaker 02 And then you're up with all these stars that have played there. It's amazing.
26:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:01 Speaker 02 Why are we always next to some questionable 1970s star?
26:07 Speaker 03 Dodgy.
26:08 Speaker 02 Disney on Ice get about, don't they? I know. I'm like. They're there all the time. What was next to Kylie or Disney? Like, it's amazing to see.
26:15 Speaker 03 Oh, oh my God, for the next tour on ice. Sexton on Ice.
26:20 Speaker 02 Not a chance. Not a chance.
26:22 Speaker 03 No, shoot that. I was.
26:23 Speaker 04 Jordan already looks like he's on ice.
26:24 Speaker 02 It's an amazing moment.
26:26 Speaker 04 Maybe it'll counteract.
26:28 Speaker 02 You see, held by Sex and My Boss podcast tour 2026. And then they put you, and you see all these stars.
26:33 Speaker 04 It is amazing.
26:33 Speaker 02 Peter Kay's on there and stuff.
26:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:36 Speaker 02 One Direction.
26:36 Speaker 03 Michael McIntyre.
26:37 Speaker 02 Michael McIntyre. They always put us next to someone that's a bit dodgy, if you notice.
26:42 Speaker 03 Well, we'll see what they do tonight.
26:44 Speaker 02 Anyway, that was very interesting.
26:45 Speaker 03 Thank you very much.
26:46 Speaker 02 Now it's time for your questions and dilemmas. Remember, if you need our help with something, then get in touch. You can send your tales of trepidation to [email protected] . You can DM us, well, at Sex and My Boss on the socials, or you can write to William, who in the fullness of time promises a handwritten reply and one of our own luxury greeting cards with executive cell seal envelopes. The address is on the website, sextedmyboss.com.
27:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, once this tour is over, I'm going to actually go back to responding to G and D'ivas on the post. I'm very, very behind. So if you've sent something in and it probably reads it in January, February, I will get round to doing it. So I've just been very busy. Well, Jordan, there's going to be a format change now at this stage because when we did our last episode from the two of us and I was reading, I nearly threw up.
27:31 Speaker 02 Yes.
27:31 Speaker 03 And I thought, I don't want to throw up. I'm too valuable. Who can we get to read the dilemmas? Welcome, producer Ben.
27:38 Speaker 02 No, what? This is a one off.
27:40 Speaker 03 This is absolutely a one off.
27:42 Speaker 02 Do you want the iPad?
27:44 Speaker 04 Got my phone.
27:45 Speaker 02 Oh, for God's sake. Look at him.
27:48 Speaker 03 Don't let it go to your head, that's all I'll say.
27:49 Speaker 04 I feel sick already, so.
27:51 Speaker 02 This is like, honestly, the desperation here is like in 1945 Germany, where they were literally getting Hitler Youth to fight on the front line because they had nothing left.
28:02 Speaker 03 Can we do a different reference?
28:03 Speaker 02 No, this is good. All sources were depleted.
28:06 Speaker 03 Wow.
28:07 Speaker 02 Hitler was giving, I've just read a really good book on it. Hitler was like giving medals to eight-year-old children because they had nothing. The Russians.
28:15 Speaker 04 This is the same as that.
28:15 Speaker 02 The Russians were about to invade and that is what is similar here.
28:19 Speaker 04 Thanks, Jordan. Thanks, Jordan. I really appreciate that.
28:22 Speaker 02 That's what this feels like.
28:23 Speaker 03 Not sure.
28:24 Speaker 02 This desperation that we have restored ourselves to.
28:26 Speaker 03 All right, my next etiquetteology will do the Hitler Youth.
28:28 Speaker 02 No, I'll do it on that. I can tell you loads on it.
28:30 Speaker 03 No.
28:32 Speaker 04 Before I get into my dilemma, there is some important context I must provide first. My best friend, let's call her Jenny, and her ex, let's call him Richard because he's a dick, broke up over a year ago because he's a massive twat. Without going into details, he really is a devil incarnate. For some reason after the break, he blocked me on everything, but not Jenny or any of our other friends. Granted, I've always been outspoken about hating him because I tend to be the human embodiment of his bad karma and I want to stand up for my best friend. Now here's my dilemma. I work with some of Richard's friends who happen to have higher up positions than I do. One of his friends say he doesn't like Richard and tries to avoid him, but is still in the same group of friends. Another is actively friends with the twat.
29:16 Speaker 02 She really don't like this guy.
29:17 Speaker 04 He likes Richard. When they mentioned Richard or his life at work, I never know what to do. Do I ignore them, remind them how much I hate him, or simply run away? It's so awkward, especially since we have new starters who have to keep watching me make weird faces whenever he's mentioned because I don't know how to react. I fear if I don't find a solution, all the new starters will think I'm truly bizarre or I may lose my job. Hopefully you can help because otherwise I may just have to quit my job and move to working on a submarine, save myself any more embarrassment. Yours desperately, anonymous.
29:50 Speaker 03 Dolly, well, I mean, look, we all have to work with people we don't like. So you've got, not you, not you.
29:59 Speaker 02 They're nodding their heads towards me, if anyone's listening.
30:02 Speaker 03 We're joking, but...
30:05 Speaker 02 Say that, but butcher.
30:08 Speaker 03 We're joking, but I... It's, well, it's difficult, but you're gonna, if, you, okay, moving jobs is one option, but if not, you're just gonna have to find a way to sort of tolerate. You don't have to like be best friends with everyone you work with. You've just got to sort of rub along next to them.
30:26 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
30:26 Speaker 03 What would you say?
30:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, I agree. You don't, it's that obvious one where you're not always gonna get along with the people you work with, but she doesn't work with Richard, does she?
30:39 Speaker 03 No.
30:39 Speaker 02 She works with his friends.
30:40 Speaker 04 Work with like people who are in his group of friends, yeah.
30:44 Speaker 02 Sometimes you gotta keep your work and your private life separate.
30:46 Speaker 03 And they might, they might just notice that you don't, when Richard comes up, you don't engage, or you don't say anything, and if they're vaguely intelligent, they'll pick up on that eventually and, and probably get the message.
30:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, in work, you've got to be professional, you've got to be on it, don't worry about it.
31:02 Speaker 03 Often what is not said is more telling than what is said.
31:05 Speaker 02 Thank you. Next one, Ben.
31:07 Speaker 04 This is from Richard. Hi, William, Jordan and the whole Sexton team. Here is my dilemma. In my 65 years of life, I have never shaved down below.
31:16 Speaker 02 Oh, my Christ, like the...
31:18 Speaker 03 Well, no, some people aren't that hairy.
31:20 Speaker 02 Down there?
31:21 Speaker 03 No.
31:21 Speaker 02 Well, if I'd not shaved ever, and I was 65, it'd be like a big old Jackson 5 reunion.
31:31 Speaker 02 Words, it'd be like a big old grey Afro...
31:35 Speaker 04 Grey?
31:36 Speaker 02 Pew bomb.
31:38 Speaker 03 Wow.
31:38 Speaker 02 Lovely.
31:39 Speaker 03 You've got such a way with words.
31:40 Speaker 02 Thank you. I can see you giggling over there, Joe, on the cameras.
31:43 Speaker 03 All right, Ben, can you...
31:44 Speaker 02 Go on, carry on.
31:45 Speaker 04 My partner now says that they can't find my little button mushroom amongst all the trees.
31:50 Speaker 02 Oh, my God. God.
31:53 Speaker 04 You know it shrinks in cold weather and as you age. The partner has said that if I want sucky duck time, I must do some grooming or I'll miss out.
32:00 Speaker 02 What is it where the old 65s getting in touch now? Right, we get it. You have oral. Good on you. We get it.
32:07 Speaker 04 So should I invest in one of those new fangled grooming devices or simply shave with the old Gillette razor?
32:12 Speaker 02 No, invest in the.
32:15 Speaker 04 We just love listening to you two boys, three, especially during sucky duck time.
32:20 Speaker 02 Give it a trim.
32:21 Speaker 03 Have you made that up?
32:23 Speaker 02 I've made that up. Listen, aye, Captain Birdseye, thanks for getting in touch.
32:29 Speaker 02 Right, give it a trim, give it a trim with.
32:31 Speaker 03 There's all sorts of products on the market.
32:33 Speaker 02 Be careful because like just using a normal, you can actually get specialised bollock trimmers. I think they're called.
32:39 Speaker 04 I think you need to start with scissors first, don't you?
32:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, start with scissors.
32:42 Speaker 03 Get the nail scissors out.
32:43 Speaker 02 What they're called, uh, what's the, what's the one where they shave the coconut? I've got a mate who's got it. He swears by them for your balls. I keep meaning to invest in it.
32:52 Speaker 04 I know what you mean, yeah.
32:53 Speaker 02 Manscape. Yeah, there's one called Manscape.
32:55 Speaker 03 One of our very first ads we did was for Manscape.
32:58 Speaker 02 Was it?
32:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:59 Speaker 02 Oh, who took that up then?
33:01 Speaker 04 Not, not a hashtag ad.
33:03 Speaker 03 Not a hashtag.
33:03 Speaker 02 Not an hashtag ad, but Manscape, try it with that and just be careful, Birdseye. Be careful out there.
33:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I, and also if your partner is saying that, you know, they would prefer it, I think, listen to you. And I know it's your body, so it's your choice, but you know, I would listen to what they're saying. And if you want to, you know, have a nice time, then.
33:20 Speaker 02 There's ones for your arsehole now as well.
33:23 Speaker 03 Yes, there are.
33:25 Speaker 02 Just be careful. Put scissors first. In fact, get the garden edges back. It sounds like it's been 65 years.
33:31 Speaker 03 No, don't, we don't endorse that.
33:33 Speaker 04 Is there, is there anyone, could you go to like a person who waxes things and get your?
33:37 Speaker 03 You could do, yes, but I, it sounds like you need to take some other steps before, before that.
33:43 Speaker 02 And it was, um, my brother's, one of my brother's best mates did it.
33:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:48 Speaker 02 He talks about that, E- Evie, brother's best mate from school.
33:52 Speaker 03 Was waxing your dad?
33:53 Speaker 02 But they weren't, she went to school at the time. She was like 21, 22. And my dad went, I seen Evie this week. Brother's going, oh, did you? He went, yeah. Went over to the salon and she would give me a wax. She'd be cracked back and sacked before I went on holiday. I'm like.
34:07 Speaker 04 Right.
34:08 Speaker 02 Right.
34:08 Speaker 03 Lovely to know that information about your father. He's absolutely great.
34:11 Speaker 02 He's a very well groomed man, Graham, you know?
34:13 Speaker 03 Well, I'll, I'll ask him later.
34:16 Speaker 02 Next one, Ben.
34:17 Speaker 04 Our next dilemma is from Lowry. Hello, William George.
34:22 Speaker 03 You're doing an art joke.
34:25 Speaker 02 Do you know, if we're being cultured and arty, I've got a real love hate relationship with Lowry.
34:32 Speaker 02 I do.
34:32 Speaker 03 Is it mutual?
34:34 Speaker 02 And parts on it, because we had to study him at school. If you went to school up north, you did it in primary school in year six. I was fascinated by it in year six.
34:43 Speaker 03 Little matchstick men.
34:45 Speaker 02 And now I still am, but also is, do you know why I've got a love hate relationship?
34:48 Speaker 03 Why have you got a love hates relationship with a dead artist?
34:51 Speaker 02 So miserable.
34:52 Speaker 03 They are, well, they're northern, isn't it?
34:54 Speaker 02 I know, and the grayness and it like secretly fascinated by him.
34:59 Speaker 04 Lots of like the Whippets in paintings.
35:02 Speaker 02 And the one going to the factory and stuff and it was.
35:04 Speaker 03 It's very reflective of the north at the time.
35:06 Speaker 04 It's just like Jordan currently going to the factory, isn't it?
35:09 Speaker 02 From Salford and yeah, anyway.
35:11 Speaker 04 Right. Hello, William, Jordan and the fabulous sexted team. Thanks, Lowry. I discovered the podcast last year and have become a huge fan, never missing an episode, especially since becoming a mum last November.
35:23 Speaker 02 Oh, thank you.
35:24 Speaker 04 You kept me company and made me smile during the beautiful highs and tearful lows of maternity leave.
35:28 Speaker 02 Oh.
35:29 Speaker 04 Here's my dilemma. What should you do when your electric breast pump accidentally turns on in your bag in public? And the rhythmic vibration sounds suspiciously like a very different device. This rather awkward situation occurred at the train station on the day of your Cardiff show, which I attended with my best friend, who's the William to my Jordan.
35:46 Speaker 02 Oh.
35:46 Speaker 04 We're from quite different backgrounds. I was catching the train a few stops before her and to kill time, I reached my book in my overnight bag. We were staying in Cardiff that night, so I needed to bring my breast pump as you can't take a night off when breastfeeding.
35:58 Speaker 02 No, you can't.
35:59 Speaker 04 And she sat there afterwards, feeling like a right tit.
36:03 Speaker 02 Oh, don't worry about it. It could have been a lot worse.
36:05 Speaker 03 I think, yeah, are you just owning it? And you go, that's my breast pump. That's all you have to say.
36:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:10 Speaker 03 And how? Don't get embarrassed about it.
36:12 Speaker 02 Just sometimes you've got to own it. Or it's like I said years ago, I remember when my mum were, something vibrated in her bag at the airport. I was about 15.
36:21 Speaker 04 Hmm. Was that the vibrator?
36:23 Speaker 02 No, and my dad looked at each other and I thought.
36:26 Speaker 04 Oh gosh.
36:27 Speaker 02 Anyway, she opened bag and I remember my dad trying to distract us. I thought this is.
36:31 Speaker 03 Oh no.
36:32 Speaker 02 She went, oh, thank Christ, it's your nose clippers.
36:36 Speaker 02 But I still think now they must have packed something.
36:41 Speaker 03 Well, then if they gave them, gave each other that look, they knew.
36:45 Speaker 02 I'm gonna go to my great, I've told you about Brad Zanna.
36:47 Speaker 03 Yes.
36:48 Speaker 02 With the overnight bag.
36:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:49 Speaker 02 My brother lent, my mum lent, no, my dad lent my brother an overnight bag for the weekend and found a few things in the pocket. And he's still, he's tried to tell me a few times, he got me hammered and went, can I, I went, I don't wanna know. Do not want to know.
37:04 Speaker 03 I think that's, I think that's a good, a good policy to have.
37:07 Speaker 02 It's, but when I'm on my deathbed, I just want him to whisper it in my ear. Do you remember mum and dad's?
37:11 Speaker 03 Sorry, the last, hang on, the last words is like nipple clamps and lube, is that what you wanna hear?
37:17 Speaker 02 My little brother to kiss me on the head and just go, cock ring.
37:22 Speaker 02 That'll be my final words on earth. Dad's cock ring.
37:26 Speaker 03 Wow.
37:27 Speaker 02 That is bizarre.
37:28 Speaker 03 Okay, well, that's, when you eventually go to therapy, that's another one to bring.
37:32 Speaker 02 Oh, that's another thing, one of the dancers last night trying to tell me, you have only known a week, bless him, we're like, yeah, I think you need therapy. We're having a deeper meaningful at the bar, really good lad, he's like, yeah, you should definitely, I was like, no, it's fine. Um, that was, I, yeah.
37:48 Speaker 04 I think the thing is with embarrassment, have you seen the TikToks of people just like doing like quite embarrassing things? And then they like, you get over it quite quickly. It's a feeling that you like create for yourself.
37:56 Speaker 02 Yeah. Lowry, let me tell you this, love, it's always worse in your head than anyone else's.
38:01 Speaker 04 Yes.
38:01 Speaker 02 Always worse in your head. All right, let's do one more.
38:03 Speaker 04 She did, she, just to, just to quickly, um, finish that, she did say, we love the show. Thank you so much for a brilliant evening. We enjoyed lots of laughs and singing. And for a short while, I felt like my old self, rather than exhausted mammy covered in babysick.
38:15 Speaker 02 Oh. Lowry, that means, that's what we want, that's what you said, the whole part of this.
38:20 Speaker 03 We just want people to have a nice time.
38:21 Speaker 02 Come and have a good night out.
38:23 Speaker 04 We just want people to be covered in babysick.
38:25 Speaker 02 Him out.
38:26 Speaker 03 Yes.
38:27 Speaker 02 Him reading the dilemma isn't that bad.
38:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, but it's not gonna.
38:30 Speaker 02 Is it? George, it means started off by being like, it was the sort of, the devil had come back to haunt us.
38:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
38:39 Speaker 03 It's not happening regularly, or indeed ever again.
38:42 Speaker 04 Okay, thanks for the support, guys. No, no, but you're doing a very nice job. And our final dilemma is from Lauren. He just presses on, doesn't he? Dear William, Jordan and the sexted team. A friend of mine has been loyally going to the same barber for around eight years. I'm talking eight years of regular three weekly appointments. A longstanding but strictly professional client hairdresser relationship. That's a lot of haircuts. This guy, the guy who's got his fucking long pubes needs to go to this person. Yeah. Quite work as a joke. Whilst out on our annual Christmas pub crawl, a sacred event in our friendship calendar, my friend received a text from said barber. The text read, "Are we still on for later? Can't wait to suck your delicious cock." Oh my gosh.
39:26 Speaker 04 Which was clearly not meant for him. Okay. Seeing the decent and slightly panicked man he is, he replied, "Sorry, I think you've got the wrong number." His barber, understandably mortified, replied, saying, "I'm so fucking embarrassed." Makes sense. It later transpired that the person she meant to send it to is someone she was seeing, who just happens to have the exact same name as my friend. Naturally, this has not been forgotten. His nickname in the group chat is now Delicious Cock, and I fear it may follow him for life. So my question is, what is the correct etiquette when you accidentally send a wildly inappropriate message to a longstanding client? Help, I sexted my barber.
40:01 Speaker 03 Yeah. Ah, nice.
40:04 Speaker 04 There you go. No, help, I sexted my client. I think the barber, yeah, the barber sexted the client. Help my barber sexted me.
40:11 Speaker 02 Help my barber sexted me. There we go. Good team.
40:14 Speaker 03 Well, again, I think the onus is on the person who has received the sext. It was clearly accidental, so you just have to sort of do as much as you can to reassure that barber that it's all fine, it doesn't matter, mistakes happen, let's move on.
40:28 Speaker 02 Do you know why I'm a good person? Do you know what I would do? So to save everyone from embarrassment. Say you text me, you WhatsApp me and said.
40:36 Speaker 04 Isn't that what you said anyway?
40:36 Speaker 02 I can't wait to, because I don't have blue ticks on, but say, I said, "I can't wait to suck your cock tonight." I wouldn't open the text, right? I would let that person realise it's the wrong person, delete it and let them think that you don't know.
40:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, but you can only delete it within a certain time.
40:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, but she would have, I think it's within a good few hours. So personally, if you ever get sexted by someone.
40:57 Speaker 03 Shall we try it tonight?
40:58 Speaker 02 If you ever get sexted by someone and you think it'll save embarrassment, pretend you've not seen it and let them delete it. And if they go, oh my God, did you see that? You just say, what? Go on, it was for someone else. Go, oh, lucky I missed it then.
41:11 Speaker 04 Yes. I think that's what makes you a good person, Jordan.
41:14 Speaker 02 Thank you. That does make me a good person, I think.
41:16 Speaker 04 Yeah, I think you are. And you did obviously like get me breakfast this morning. So I did appreciate that.
41:19 Speaker 02 I'm not all bad.
41:21 Speaker 04 Yeah. I know you all hate me. All I'm saying is I'm glad you're going on holiday soon.
41:24 Speaker 02 I know you all hate me, but I'm not all bad.
41:26 Speaker 03 And Jordan, I'm going to say this to you. Look at me, look at me. Tonight, I can't wait to perform on stage in Manchester with you.
41:33 Speaker 04 Oh, thank you. I thought you were going to suck your delicious cock.
41:36 Speaker 03 Ben.
41:38 Speaker 02 Get that mic off him. Give me the...
41:39 Speaker 04 Right, here we go.
41:40 Speaker 03 Well, thank you very much, G and D, for all of that. I feel slightly less carsick than I have previously.
41:45 Speaker 02 I'm so hot. Can we get some air con on?
41:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, we're gonna pull off into a service station.
41:49 Speaker 02 All right, let me do the thingy. Thank you for your questions and dilemmas. Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. And you can watch us on YouTube as well. We put the full episodes up on every release day. Just head to YouTube and search for Sexted.
42:05 Speaker 03 We'll see you on Friday.
42:06 Speaker 02 Goodbye.
42:14 Speaker 06 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life. Plus, experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the Midpoint.
Previous What’s A Gummer?! | And Backstage at Wembley Arena Next William's KFC Review | And Jordan's Northern Problem Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated