Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss REACTING TO JORDAN’S OLD VLOGS | And Illegal Cheeses About this episode Justin Bieber isn’t the only one who’s been going through the archives looking at old videos on YouTube; we’ve also found a gold mine of content from Jordan to laugh/cry/cringe at (don’t worry, William doesn’t escape his past either). The boys also have plenty to comment on regarding Paris, clapping in church, and illegal cheese.
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Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production.
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1:11 Speaker 03 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode. This is where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on, and how our advice went down with you. Our G and D-vas.
1:25 Speaker 04 You all right?
1:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:26 Speaker 04 Yeah, some good, thank you.
1:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:28 Speaker 04 What are you up to this weekend?
1:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, a bit of this, a bit of that. What am I doing this weekend? Ah, children. Padella, Padella at the weekend. And some friends coming over on Saturday.
1:38 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:38 Speaker 03 Staying over.
1:39 Speaker 04 Right.
1:40 Speaker 03 I'm gonna go for a...
1:41 Speaker 04 Where's my invitation?
1:42 Speaker 03 My friends from Surrey and we're going for sushi. Have I changed?
1:45 Speaker 04 You're friends from Surrey and you're going for sushi.
1:51 Speaker 03 I know, everyone loves a bit of sushi. You can't be like proper sushi.
1:54 Speaker 04 Even I, now famously, nothing fishy touches my lips, et cetera, but I do like sushi.
1:58 Speaker 03 It's like a new sushi place that's opening, so yeah, it's been nice. I've had a change.
2:04 Speaker 04 Yes, is the answer to that question.
2:06 Speaker 03 No, I'm not, because we'll end up getting shit.
2:08 Speaker 04 Sorry, you're playing paddle with friends from Surrey whilst eating sushi.
2:14 Speaker 03 Well, I'm not playing paddle with friends from Surrey.
2:17 Speaker 04 Oh, you're not?
2:17 Speaker 03 No.
2:18 Speaker 04 Well, no, okay, okay, you're playing paddle. You've got friends from Surrey and you're eating sushi.
2:24 Speaker 03 And there's, uh, yeah, what's wrong with that?
2:26 Speaker 04 Whilst wearing your Birkenstocks, so.
2:29 Speaker 03 I, I love my Birkenstocks and they are very trendy and hip. But what, what, what, what colour am I going to be wearing though?
2:37 Speaker 04 Green.
2:37 Speaker 03 I've got my black ones, I've got my beige ones.
2:39 Speaker 04 Oh, you've got several pairs.
2:40 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm. I've got my, um, sandalsless ones and they're not actually Birkenstocks, they're from M and S.
2:45 Speaker 04 Of course they are.
2:46 Speaker 03 Nobody notices.
2:47 Speaker 04 Fine.
2:48 Speaker 03 So who's winning? What are you doing?
2:50 Speaker 04 I'm gonna watch the football.
2:53 Speaker 03 What?
2:54 Speaker 04 No, I'm not. Uh, I just felt, you know, for balance, just to balance it out, seeing as we've switched lives. Uh, no, I'm going to Paris, actually. This is the trip that got delayed because I lost my passport and we've rebooked because it's Micah's birthday.
3:05 Speaker 03 That'll be fun.
3:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, although very annoyed, I can't do the Opera House because.
3:10 Speaker 03 Paris has an Opera House?
3:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, Phantom of the Opera.
3:15 Speaker 03 Is that playing?
3:15 Speaker 04 The Opera Garnier. Yeah, well, I mean, it's written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, who's British, but yes, it, it is, although it was based on a book, blah, blah, blah.
3:22 Speaker 03 Can we go and see Hercules?
3:24 Speaker 04 Yes, if you really want to.
3:26 Speaker 03 Okay. Carry on.
3:28 Speaker 04 Um, whilst it's still on. It's coming off, that's announced.
3:32 Speaker 03 Oh, that's.
3:33 Speaker 04 Yeah. Because I can't remember what's going into it. Oh, Greatest Showman, I think.
3:37 Speaker 03 Oh, class. Oh.
3:39 Speaker 04 Of course you're gonna want to go and watch that.
3:41 Speaker 03 Oh, that'll be good.
3:42 Speaker 04 That is such a Jordan.
3:43 Speaker 03 This is a great show. This is me. Sometimes I put that on in the gym. It feels very. If you're having a fat ugly day, put This Is Me on. This is me.
3:57 Speaker 04 You've learnt the lyrics.
3:57 Speaker 03 Yeah. And I swear to man, when I stand up tall. You're like, yeah, if you're having a fat ugly day, put that on.
4:04 Speaker 04 Right.
4:05 Speaker 03 Uh, I've never been to Paris, so my voice works.
4:07 Speaker 04 No, it's lovely. I like, some people don't really like it. My hairdresser doesn't like it, but I think it's, I think it's gorgeous. But anyway, I've missed out on, uh, booking, uh, the Opera Garnier tour, which I have done before, but they're closing it. They announced a few weeks ago, they're closing it for years for a big renovation. So I want to go and see it again and
4:25 Speaker 04 alas, I will not be.
4:26 Speaker 03 Go and see, um, that church that burnt down.
4:29 Speaker 04 Notre Dame.
4:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, go and see that.
4:31 Speaker 04 I will be going to do Notre Dame now that's reopened.
4:33 Speaker 03 Uh, and the Louvre, love.
4:35 Speaker 04 The Louvre, I don't need to do the Louvre.
4:36 Speaker 03 Do you know, you know, you can see.
4:38 Speaker 04 The Mona Lisa?
4:39 Speaker 03 No.
4:40 Speaker 04 What?
4:40 Speaker 03 Whistler's mother.
4:41 Speaker 04 Yes, we've talked about that quite recently.
4:43 Speaker 03 The actual thing, I've been to the movie.
4:44 Speaker 04 I know. I'm not still gonna go to the Louvre.
4:47 Speaker 03 No.
4:48 Speaker 04 But we are doing the Moulin Rouge, which I'm, yeah.
4:54 Speaker 03 That's French, isn't it? Of course.
4:56 Speaker 04 Yes.
4:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:57 Speaker 04 Means the red windmill.
4:58 Speaker 03 I didn't rate the film. If on.
5:01 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay. Well, it's, we're not seeing the musical.
5:02 Speaker 03 I'm not a big Baz Luhrmann fan.
5:04 Speaker 04 Okay, well, okay, Baz Luhrmann has got nothing to do with the actual Moulin Rouge.
5:07 Speaker 03 Well, he does, because he, he did it with the film.
5:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, but it was based on an actual place.
5:13 Speaker 03 Okay.
5:14 Speaker 04 Okay. And we're going to go to the actual place to the 11 o'clock showing, which apparently is Campus Tits. Indeed, there are tits.
5:20 Speaker 03 11 a.m.
5:21 Speaker 04 11 p.m.
5:22 Speaker 03 Oh, God, you're gonna be up till that time watching a show?
5:25 Speaker 04 I mean, that's early for me these days, so it's fine. To be fair, that's 10 o'clock British time.
5:29 Speaker 03 Even on holiday, I'm in bed for half 10.
5:31 Speaker 04 No.
5:31 Speaker 03 I'm like this. I'm in bed for half 10. I'm that bloated and fat from drinking thing. Yeah, I just put my iPad there. I just watch a film like this, even on holiday.
5:42 Speaker 04 What a catch you are.
5:43 Speaker 03 Look, I'll show you. I get it in a little stand.
5:46 Speaker 04 No, Bill, you're not doing it with my iPad.
5:48 Speaker 03 No, just put my iPad there and I'll just watch. Got a VPN, so I can watch out.
5:55 Speaker 04 Sure you do. Um, yes, anyway, so that's what we're doing.
5:58 Speaker 03 Okay, well.
5:59 Speaker 04 I'll tell you all about it when I'm back.
6:00 Speaker 03 Oh, good. I look forward to hearing all about it.
6:02 Speaker 04 Do you need anything from Paris? You haven't been to Paris, so you probably don't need anything, but.
6:06 Speaker 03 Uh.
6:07 Speaker 04 Any baguette, fromage?
6:10 Speaker 03 Can you get, give us some, bring us some nice cheese?
6:12 Speaker 04 I actually won't be able to do that because that's illegal.
6:14 Speaker 03 Oh, can you not?
6:14 Speaker 04 No.
6:15 Speaker 03 What?
6:16 Speaker 04 You can't bring dairy products in between.
6:18 Speaker 03 Your challenge is to go to a Frenchman and say, I worked forty hours this week and see what his reaction is. Oh my God, you need to get in a union. We would be bringing, part of me admires that.
6:28 Speaker 04 I wouldn't want to lie.
6:30 Speaker 03 Hmm.
6:30 Speaker 04 Well, I'll, I'll let you know.
6:31 Speaker 03 See how they react.
6:32 Speaker 04 We're filming.
6:33 Speaker 03 Or, or going, going to a, going to a restaurant five minutes before they shut and make a massive order. See what the French chef says.
6:41 Speaker 04 Can you remember Mike and I, when we were last in Paris together, I found that restaurant where they had an Instagram counter? And when you liked them, it would then like go up. So Mike and I literally spent most of the meal finding, going on sort of, you know, I was on the Englishman's account, the Sexist account, my account, Mike was on his account, making it go up. And hoping they all got really excited and then unfollowing and watching it go down. Literally minutes of fun. It was, it was fun. Anyway, um, obviously the second weekend of Coachella starts tomorrow.
7:10 Speaker 03 Yes.
7:10 Speaker 04 Sadly missing it because of Paris.
7:12 Speaker 03 Been great.
7:13 Speaker 04 Um, did you watch any of the highlights?
7:14 Speaker 03 I've seen like, uh, I mean, I still, I, good on him, but just, Katie Perry and Justin Trudeau. Just blows my mind.
7:24 Speaker 04 Hmm.
7:25 Speaker 03 She's gone from Orlando Bloom. Yeah, I know, like, that's everyone's title to private life to the former Canadian Prime Minister.
7:34 Speaker 04 It's a diverse, uh, pool of.
7:36 Speaker 03 Could have been worse. It could have been the other way around. It could have been like Celine Dion with Boris Johnson or something like, don't it? She's Canadian.
7:42 Speaker 04 It could have been, just French Canadian.
7:44 Speaker 03 Justin Bieber with Liz Truss.
7:45 Speaker 04 You're gonna get Celine Dion tickets?
7:47 Speaker 03 Why?
7:48 Speaker 04 Because she's performing.
7:50 Speaker 03 Is she in London?
7:51 Speaker 04 No, she's going to Paris, actually. So you could tick two things off.
7:54 Speaker 03 I mean, I'll.
7:54 Speaker 04 I'd like to too, but I'd also like to be able to pay my mortgage.
7:57 Speaker 03 I won't mind.
7:58 Speaker 04 Not, not.
7:58 Speaker 03 Cause I am your lady and you are my man.
8:04 Speaker 04 Is that Celine?
8:05 Speaker 03 Yes, is that Celine? Don't, bitch, please.
8:08 Speaker 04 Well, it's not in Titanic, so I don't know.
8:10 Speaker 03 Oh, I, yeah. I know my Celine. This is getting serious. This is, the best bit in that song is, do think twice and he goes, no, no, no, no. Look back before you leave.
8:25 Speaker 04 What's your other favourite Celine Dion song?
8:27 Speaker 03 Um.
8:28 Speaker 04 Don't say the Titanic one, that's boring.
8:29 Speaker 03 Listen to that.
8:31 Speaker 04 Why not? Why can't you listen to it?
8:33 Speaker 03 It's just, it was overplayed, wasn't it, in the nineties?
8:36 Speaker 04 It was a bit.
8:36 Speaker 03 What's the other Celine? I like Think Twice, uh.
8:40 Speaker 04 Tell Him, Barbra Streisand duet is the correct answer to that question.
8:44 Speaker 03 Oh, what's the one about her husband who died? That's sad.
8:48 Speaker 04 Um, yeah, the one, yeah.
8:50 Speaker 03 That's sad.
8:51 Speaker 04 I know the one you mean. Anyway, uh, back to Coachella, different type of Justin this time, not Trudeau. Um, inspired by Justin Bieber, remember him?
8:59 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
8:59 Speaker 04 Uh, he watched and sung along to his old YouTube videos as part of his set. He just sort of fired up a screen, got his guitar out and went, I'm just gonna sing along to some of my old videos.
9:08 Speaker 03 Basically, he's playing stuff from YouTube and Spotify.
9:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
9:11 Speaker 03 Right. Awkward if they had to play. Right.
9:14 Speaker 04 He probably had YouTube.
9:16 Speaker 03 People are like, oh, this is genius, so artistic. I had to do that at a gig in Skegness and got fucking booed off stage because my decks won't work. So he does it.
9:24 Speaker 04 Hmm.
9:24 Speaker 03 And he's like.
9:25 Speaker 04 Have people not, have people not reacted to this? Because I would think that's a bit of a cop out.
9:29 Speaker 03 No, it's, to be fair, it's actually really cool. He just goes up and puts it on. He started playing memes, you know, like me on tour. He's playing like memes and, or you know, like in music. DJ, DJ. Oh, yeah.
9:41 Speaker 04 Clearly he came to our tour and was inspired by you, Jordan. You've inspired his Coachella. Um.
9:46 Speaker 03 Well, I often think, can I just say, me playing You Can't He Shove Your Granny Off A Bus during our DJ set on tour.
9:51 Speaker 04 In Glasgow.
9:52 Speaker 03 In Glasgow was just, I think about that.
9:54 Speaker 04 Really? Well, I look forward to the award nomination coming through for that.
9:57 Speaker 03 Oh, we might be up for, um. Tonys or?
10:00 Speaker 04 For Tonys, not in Glasgow we're not, Olivier's.
10:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:04 Speaker 04 Well, maybe next year, yeah.
10:06 Speaker 03 Paddington, when we've got a chance.
10:07 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, and Paddington's not competing next year, so we'd be fine. Um, anyway, um, I've connected my iPad up, Jordan, to, uh, that television there we've got in the studio. And I thought I would search for, and we can sort of sing, or you can, you know, mime along to. I'm going to search for something I haven't searched for for a while. Jordan.
10:26 Speaker 03 Oh, we're not, please don't search.
10:27 Speaker 04 North.
10:29 Speaker 03 Please.
10:30 Speaker 04 Vlog.
10:31 Speaker 03 What's the, oh, no, I can't watch this.
10:33 Speaker 04 This one, the first one is called Jordan North Vlog, Animals.
10:37 Speaker 03 Right, can I just say, I know what this is, right? I got with an agent when I left uni and they were like, you need to start, they were like, to be fair, they were right. This is in two thousand and ten, eleven. They were like, radio's dying, you wanna get on that YouTube, right? And I did. And I don't wanna watch this, I can't watch it, I think it was in, I think I was actually lodging in Jo, oh, is it from Manchester?
11:01 Speaker 04 Right, well, we're gonna watch it anyway, so play on this.
11:04 Speaker 03 I don't wanna watch.
11:05 Speaker 05 Um, right.
11:06 Speaker 03 Oh, no, I'm not watching this.
11:08 Speaker 05 For the blog is animals, I've done animals because I've had a bit of a week with animals. My dog's been doing me head in, he's been up and about all night, you know, when they just can't sleep. Or have you ever been in bed, right? And you're just nodding off and then the dog pops up all of a sudden and its ears go up and you're like, oh, we're being burgled. So my dog's been doing that all week. And then this morning, I went out for a cheeky sick and the rabbit got out and I spent all morning trying to get the little bugger back in.
11:32 Speaker 03 How did you find that?
11:33 Speaker 05 Pancake, carrots.
11:35 Speaker 03 Oh, shit, I was rabbit sitting.
11:38 Speaker 05 Cake.
11:40 Speaker 04 Jordan is now looking for rabbits, he's got a broom, you're gonna kill them. What are you doing?
11:45 Speaker 03 Come on.
11:46 Speaker 05 Right, on the theme of animals, my little brother eats like an animal.
11:53 Speaker 04 I love the fact because of the how you've positioned that shot with that gold plate behind you, you look a bit like Jesus.
11:59 Speaker 03 I do, actually.
12:01 Speaker 04 With a little halo.
12:02 Speaker 03 I've all.
12:03 Speaker 04 You look like one of those religious icons.
12:04 Speaker 03 I am one of those people that's always had shit hair. I've never had, I've never had a piece of haircut in my life.
12:12 Speaker 04 No, you are my friend and I will stand up for you. It looks good there.
12:17 Speaker 04 So don't worry. It's lovely. It's nice, nice, put it on the walls.
12:21 Speaker 03 Do we have to do this?
12:22 Speaker 04 Yes.
12:23 Speaker 03 So you're thinking this is what I could do at my cello set?
12:26 Speaker 04 Yeah, or if we have a tour again, you could just press play and we could talk through them. We could all have a laugh.
12:30 Speaker 03 I'm not dead.
12:32 Speaker 04 This is a clip that I've now found, going through some of the highlights of the, of some media work that you have had.
12:40 Speaker 05 When I was at Preston College, there was loads of work experience.
12:44 Speaker 03 Wow.
12:44 Speaker 05 I got some work experience on the Iceland adverts as a runner. And that was down to one of my tutors worked on the sound for the Iceland adverts. And basically it was a week I got paid for it and I had to go and get pizza for Kerry Cottone and Jason Donovan. So it was a great week and I learnt loads. So I got loads of work experience through the college.
13:06 Speaker 04 You got lots of work experience making pizza for, what was Kerry Cottone's pizza order? Can you remember?
13:12 Speaker 03 It was, I'm going to say this now.
13:14 Speaker 04 Or Jason Donovan?
13:15 Speaker 03 She was lovely, but she was with a boyfriend at the time who she wanted to run from Domino's and he wanted to be hard work, so I had to then go and get his from pizza up, which is like when you're a runner.
13:31 Speaker 03 She was lovely, so was Jason Donovan, actually.
13:33 Speaker 04 And, and they were in the advert together.
13:34 Speaker 03 Proving my point, just looking at that YouTube video. I've always had shit hair.
13:39 Speaker 04 No, yeah, it's not, it's not great there. What, when you got Jason Donovan's pizza order?
13:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:45 Speaker 04 What, what was it? I know pepperoni, margarita.
13:48 Speaker 03 I can't remember why, I don't, I can't.
13:49 Speaker 04 I hope you went up to him with it and went, here we go, Jason, especially for you.
13:54 Speaker 04 No?
13:56 Speaker 04 It's his song? No?
13:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, I got it, I got it.
14:00 Speaker 04 I would have done that.
14:00 Speaker 03 I think at the time they said, get Jason Donovan some lunch. And I think I thought, Jason wants a Dona- Van.
14:08 Speaker 04 No, in Bristol, in Bristol, there is one of those roadside things, which is called Jason's Donovan. Yeah, it's a, it's a whole thing in Bristol.
14:16 Speaker 03 That didn't happen, I was trying to be funny.
14:17 Speaker 04 Okay. Shall we do another one?
14:19 Speaker 03 No, oh please, my fucking, I'm going inside, my balls have got into my stomach here.
14:25 Speaker 04 A clip where, Jordan, you have been given a tour of John's house.
14:30 Speaker 03 Oh!
14:31 Speaker 04 After staying the night for a sleepover.
14:33 Speaker 03 Can I just explain? I'm still friends with John.
14:35 Speaker 04 It's not Harry John, is it?
14:37 Speaker 03 So when I first started, the week, the week I started on Rock FM, the drive time show, we did a thing with Howie and Jamie from The Breakfast Show called Jordan's Sleepover. We didn't think it through. Basically, I had to sleep over at a different listener's house every night of the week.
14:55 Speaker 03 Two of them should have been vetted, that's all I'm gonna say.
14:58 Speaker 04 I think the whole idea should have been vetted, to be honest.
15:01 Speaker 03 One of them had to ring Webbo, my boss, and be like, they had to come and get me midway through. It was a bit weird.
15:08 Speaker 04 Because, because what? Why? I think enough time has passed.
15:13 Speaker 03 One of the,
15:17 Speaker 03 one of the people, one of the ladies who, house who I stayed at, as, uh,
15:26 Speaker 03 made it clear that she wanted to have sex with me.
15:32 Speaker 04 How did she make it clear?
15:34 Speaker 03 At first it was being a bit friendly and then, there's only so many times someone can tickle your thigh and.
15:40 Speaker 04 Wow.
15:42 Speaker 03 Fair amount, I'm like 20, 30, 30, I'm like, Webbo, you come get me please. Um, but there was, by the way, it was a whole week, there was people's house I stayed at, lovely, uh, John's was in Southport. There was a really nice lady I stayed at in Blackpool, I think it was Michelle. Another nice lady who I went through like a boot camp with, I stayed at Mad, Mad Bird, like, there was a few, there was a few.
16:04 Speaker 04 Okay, well, here is a tour of John's house.
16:08 Speaker 04 Good God, Wesley Lee Buckingham Palace.
16:10 Speaker 03 It's huge.
16:12 Speaker 05 Big space, just chill out.
16:14 Speaker 03 So it's literally just a little room just to chill out.
16:16 Speaker 04 Big space to chill out.
16:17 Speaker 03 We watched Game of Thrones that night. So you have a room just for reading?
16:20 Speaker 05 Just for reading and where you don't want to watch the TV.
16:22 Speaker 04 Can I say?
16:24 Speaker 03 Alright. I've got a room just for reading.
16:25 Speaker 04 How John looks versus how John has decorated looks very different.
16:29 Speaker 03 That was his mum and dad's house.
16:31 Speaker 04 Oh, it's his mum and dad's house.
16:32 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:33 Speaker 04 Gosh.
16:33 Speaker 03 I, uh...
16:34 Speaker 04 I'm gonna watch the whole full thing on YouTube.
16:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's called Jordan's Sleepover. I stayed, there was a, there was a listener called Mad Bernard. And I stayed, and he was class. I need to speak to him, because I spoke to him a while. I used to get lunch every day. I stayed in his, in, in, in, in his caravan. And, uh, it was funny. We got pissed, his caravan, stayed over and he were up, he kept me up all night farting.
17:00 Speaker 04 Um, now, I have found this next clip, there is more of this, after typing in Jordan North Diva. Um, so here we see you, Jordan, in the Rock FM studio, showing us all a side to you that we now have become all too familiar with.
17:16 Speaker 03 You want to have a suit, you can have a suit. But I would suggest if you're at the front of stage, you, you wouldn't need a suit. I don't know.
17:23 Speaker 05 You would.
17:25 Speaker 05 Um, look, by the way, this isn't me, this isn't me trying to get on stage. I know I'm not coming on stage, I know that. This isn't me trying to get on stage. But I want a suit. Why do they have to get a suit? And I don't. I were in the pub on Saturday bragging that I was getting a suit fitted.
17:42 Speaker 04 So, you were, yeah, your voice is interesting.
17:44 Speaker 03 That's what Richmond Super Kings. I've ne- again, proven I've never had a decent haircut.
17:50 Speaker 04 But you, so you're in a lovely white t-shirt there that's just about fitting, quite long, but I think that was the style at the time.
17:55 Speaker 03 It was that, you had a white, baggy white t-shirt, sleeves rolled up and skinny jeans.
17:59 Speaker 04 Yeah. And you were, and you, what stage show was this that you were doing?
18:03 Speaker 03 We were switching on the lights at Blackpool Illuminations. Well. It was a big show that, we had Peter Kay, Rockefeller FM were sponsoring it.
18:10 Speaker 04 And you, and you weren't in a suit?
18:12 Speaker 03 That were in a church that old. I missed, ah.
18:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, those studios were in a church.
18:16 Speaker 03 Genuinely, some of the best years of my life at that job.
18:19 Speaker 04 We'll be back there soon. What?
18:22 Speaker 03 Only we won't because it's not a station anymore.
18:24 Speaker 04 I'm guessing here that the main presenters were going to be put in suits.
18:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, and then they put me in the shittest crap a suit. No, I was doing bits side from stage. I was like, well, if them two were getting suits, Howell and Jamie. Good lads.
18:36 Speaker 04 Bless. Um, so finally, I can see here on, on this that there is a clip here that has been marked as William. And as senior creative director of Help My Sex and My Boss, I didn't actually sign this off. Um, so I'm not sure whether I should press play or not, but I don't think the episode will continue unless I do. So we will press play. Here's the screen generation missing out on real life. This is what I see that my colleagues and myself at the English manner, this is what we see. We go out and we teach to people. And certainly my generation, although it's not all my generation, we mustn't tar everyone with the same brush. Are they, they lack the conversational skills because on these.
19:15 Speaker 03 Oh my God, you've got red trousers on.
19:17 Speaker 04 A false image of yourself and you can sort of slightly change it to how you want to appear.
19:21 Speaker 03 That was a question called.
19:23 Speaker 06 William with Nikki Campbell.
19:24 Speaker 04 Nikki Campbell.
19:25 Speaker 06 Telling him how the use of social media are sort of.
19:31 Speaker 04 It was a different time.
19:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, that was his, on his little bit, were they like a religious show that's on a Sunday?
19:35 Speaker 04 Well, it was the slightly the God slot on a Sunday morning. What was it called? Big Questions or any questions or something?
19:39 Speaker 03 Is he religious, Nikki Campbell?
19:41 Speaker 04 I don't know. I think so.
19:42 Speaker 03 I think he is.
19:43 Speaker 04 Um, yes, and there I am.
19:47 Speaker 03 You're one of the guests. What year was that?
19:50 Speaker 04 I think it was first year of university, so it would have been 2008.
19:52 Speaker 03 Jesus, and you were a guest on it. Fair play. You're getting booked.
19:56 Speaker 04 I was getting booked, yes.
19:57 Speaker 03 Fair play.
19:58 Speaker 04 So, um, thanks for that. Thanks everyone. I thought that was not what I thought you were about to show.
20:03 Speaker 03 Out of all those things, it's made me sad that I've never had a decent haircut.
20:07 Speaker 06 You have got decent hair.
20:09 Speaker 03 I've never had a decent haircut.
20:12 Speaker 04 Well, there's only so much you can do.
20:13 Speaker 06 Do you think Justin Bieber's had a decent haircut? He's pretty shocking.
20:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, he's had loads. Anyway, that was, that was like pulling teeth watching them back. Apart from the Ruck FM clips, some of them were good.
20:22 Speaker 04 They were nice.
20:23 Speaker 03 I miss those. They're a really good team.
20:25 Speaker 04 Do you want to watch more? They're all on YouTube.
20:27 Speaker 03 Imagine being, oh, 24, I had my dream job.
20:30 Speaker 04 You were 24?
20:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:32 Speaker 04 Okay.
20:32 Speaker 03 And I was like, I had my dream job, I had a car with my name on it. And I just used to go out and get pissed all the time. It was class. I had my own little flat.
20:42 Speaker 06 Especially William's life now.
20:44 Speaker 03 I used to go and piss Friday till Sunday.
20:45 Speaker 04 I don't have a car with Muller on it, though.
20:47 Speaker 03 Not Thursday till Sunday.
20:50 Speaker 03 Class.
20:50 Speaker 04 Well, I think after watching those horrific clips, more so mine than yours, yours were charming. Let's have a quick reset and we'll be back after these.
21:01 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over a hundred dollars off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
21:36 Speaker 07 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask, what's next? I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life. Plus, experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the Midpoint.
22:03 Speaker 03 All right, G and D'Vas, thanks for sticking with us. Let's go now to some of the listeners' responses from some of the bits that we've been talking about recently on the episode.
22:10 Speaker 04 Yes. Now, on the subject of old tech and typewriters, remember that was at Cafe New Zealand where they're all on typewriters. Russell has got in touch to share a reason behind the recent G and D'Vas issue with said local cafe being taken over by people on typewriters. Hello, William, Jordan, Ben and the whole of the Saxon team. I've just heard the dilemma from the G and D'Vas in New Zealand about typewriters in the coffee shop. Curiosity prompted me to do a Google search and I found out that there is actually a typewriter cafe in Wellington, which is home to vintage typewriters and plenty of paper. It did make me wonder if this was the cafe in question. If it is, I don't think there's much that can be done other than to find another coffee shop. Well, look, I mean-
22:48 Speaker 03 I agree.
22:49 Speaker 04 Somehow-
22:50 Speaker 03 You can't write in a letter whinging about typewriters in a cafe for typewriters.
22:54 Speaker 04 I guess it's like going to a cat cafe and going, well, it was very nice, but there were a few cats.
22:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, or complain and say, I'm sorry, I'm allergic to cats. Well, don't come in then.
23:03 Speaker 04 But there are points in my life where I go, suddenly realise that actually what I do isn't as niche as I think it is. And actually, if there is an entire cafe just for typewriters, actually etiquette coach, probably quite mainstream.
23:15 Speaker 03 I got told in Nashville, I was on my iPad typing away and they're like, oh, excuse me, just 10 minutes before, all laptops and iPads away.
23:24 Speaker 04 I think that's very good.
23:26 Speaker 03 At midday, they had a rule.
23:27 Speaker 04 What were you typing?
23:29 Speaker 03 It must have been a big job for me to do to get the iPad out. Wouldn't have been a phone job, you know, because you've got certain things, like you can't book an holiday on the phone, can you?
23:37 Speaker 04 Well, you can do technically, yes.
23:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, but you can't, can you?
23:39 Speaker 04 I wouldn't recommend it.
23:40 Speaker 03 There's certain things that you can do on your phone and then there's certain things you do on your iPad or your laptop. I've got iPad and then laptop is like serious shit.
23:50 Speaker 04 Right.
23:50 Speaker 03 But I didn't know if it- What was I writing?
23:52 Speaker 04 Were you writing something creative? We have a flash, I say on holiday, I find I have flashes of creativity.
23:57 Speaker 03 I do.
23:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
23:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, I was, probably was actually. Yeah.
24:01 Speaker 04 Can you bring it in and we can read it out?
24:03 Speaker 03 I think it was Wilfred and Justin. Do you remember that?
24:05 Speaker 06 If you were to open up a niche cafe.
24:08 Speaker 04 Yes.
24:08 Speaker 06 Like a cat cafe.
24:09 Speaker 03 Oh, great question.
24:10 Speaker 06 A cafe, what would yours be? You know, you can get like, you can get board, board game cafe.
24:15 Speaker 03 Football memorabilia.
24:16 Speaker 06 Oh.
24:17 Speaker 04 Beanie, Beanie Baby Cafe.
24:19 Speaker 06 Great.
24:20 Speaker 03 I'd do, oh, uh.
24:22 Speaker 04 I was obsessed with my Beanie Babies.
24:23 Speaker 03 Football memorabilia or a candle cafe.
24:26 Speaker 06 Okay.
24:27 Speaker 03 You know, like bring your own smelly candle.
24:29 Speaker 06 Keep it going.
24:30 Speaker 03 All right, this was like, this is how me and Ben riffed when we're coming up with ideas for the tour. It was a magical moment. I hope that's on camera. When we came up with an idea, if you know, when.
24:40 Speaker 03 He knows how to work me. He's a good producer. He gets the, he gets my creative juices flowing. And when we came up with a sketch for the tour and he was going, he's going, come on, keep it going. And he's stroking and stroking and.
24:52 Speaker 04 Oh, my God, this is sounding very problematic.
24:55 Speaker 03 You were watching, um.
24:57 Speaker 04 In the chair at the corner.
24:58 Speaker 06 I actually like the sound of a candle cafe. Like every day you have like a different scent.
25:01 Speaker 03 What would yours be? A dog cafe?
25:04 Speaker 04 No, I feel that's probably a thing already.
25:06 Speaker 06 Potentially. I feel like the problem with like dog things, like if it's a puppy cafe, then there's, you constantly need new puppies.
25:11 Speaker 04 Weekend earring cafe.
25:13 Speaker 06 Weekend earring cafe.
25:14 Speaker 03 What's the one out of, uh, what did he do? Um, uh. Uh, Fleabag. Don't they have a theme?
25:23 Speaker 06 Do they have guinea pigs in it or something?
25:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, but they have a theme one day. It's like friends, because where are you folks? Because I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this tooting. I'm not doing this.
25:30 Speaker 04 It's a very funny episode. Seth has wanted to weigh in regarding going to the loo in bottles. Hi, boys. I couldn't help but laugh at the question on one of your recent episodes regarding wheeing in a bottle. I've recently been working around France fixing stair lifts. I became unstuck when I was in the middle of a village and a customer refused to let me use the loo. My pigeon French clearly had upset her. Stuck and absolutely busting, I remembered I had an empty ad blue container, which is a fuel additive in the van. I jumped into the back and did my business. I can highly recommend it as it has a large opening for those with girth. And it comes in a 10 litre container. Just remember not to add it to the fuel tank.
26:10 Speaker 03 Thank you. But don't most builders, we talked about this before, because I used to have to empty it when I was a. A painter's bricklayer, you'll know being a painter and decorator, didn't you have a piss bucket in back at Van? Yeah.
26:21 Speaker 04 I didn't.
26:21 Speaker 03 No, did you not? Honestly, they'll be built-
26:23 Speaker 04 However, Jack worked in the south.
26:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, there's a, there's a piss bucket.
26:27 Speaker 04 Oh.
26:28 Speaker 03 That if you were on site or he was like miles out, you'd just open fan door and pee in it and then you had to empty it. And I was like an apprentice. And you probably won't be able to do this now.
26:39 Speaker 04 That is a thing?
26:39 Speaker 03 And I-
26:40 Speaker 04 That wasn't just for you?
26:41 Speaker 03 Was on site and I forgot to empty piss bucket on Friday. Got there Monday morning, I had like a film over it.
26:47 Speaker 04 No, no, no.
26:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, so. I'm sure everyone was very well hydrated as well, so it was just a clear liquid.
26:55 Speaker 04 Finally, Phil has messaged in with a query regarding funerals. Hello, William, Jordan, EPB and the entire Sexed team. The recent episode on tour where William tries KFC, it's tattooed on all our minds, reminded me of a query I've been pondering over the last week.
27:08 Speaker 03 Was that when you had your Diva meltdown?
27:10 Speaker 04 Having been unfortunate-
27:11 Speaker 03 We allowed one on a tour each.
27:13 Speaker 04 Yes.
27:13 Speaker 03 I had mine, you had yours.
27:15 Speaker 04 Were equal. Having been unfortunate enough to attend two funerals in the last week, I'm wondering about the etiquette of clapping at funerals. The first one was for my grandfather, who was 95 and had a great life. There were some wonderful eulogies from his children. However, there was an awkward pause at the end of my father's speech. One person started to clap and then everyone joined in. It felt weird and slightly forced, like applauding at a school assembly. The second funeral was in the country. It had a more relaxed feel and was held outdoors. Admittedly, it was someone in their twenties and there was a large turnout from the local football team. But even then, clapping at a funeral seems somewhat disrespectful. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you ever so much in advance.
27:51 Speaker 03 No, I, I think you can, you should clap at the end of your eulogy, what are they called?
27:55 Speaker 04 Eulogy?
27:55 Speaker 03 Eulogies. I think you should. I've been there, I've been there at funerals and been like.
28:03 Speaker 04 I, I know what you mean. It's also the same at weddings, because you don't really-
28:06 Speaker 03 No one clapped. Me after Ecclesiastes or whatever, fucking can't speak today.
28:10 Speaker 04 Ecclesiastes?
28:11 Speaker 03 Ecclesiastes that I did at your wedding, that speech, no one clapped. And you do want to know if anyone-
28:17 Speaker 04 Needy bitch, it's not about you, it was my wedding day.
28:20 Speaker 03 Ben's wedding, we clapped at the music and the speeches and stuff.
28:22 Speaker 04 Now, and I've, as, as we were talking about this, I was thinking, I'm going to message, uh, my friend the vicar, our friend the vicar, and I'm going to ask him, because I think it's something to do with church. As opposed, now Ben did not get married in a church.
28:34 Speaker 03 I'm sorry, but I don't want to be, I don't want to be-
28:37 Speaker 04 In a world where a god can't let you clap. No, no, no. I'm not saying I agree or disagree, but I think historically you didn't clap in church for anything, whether it's, you know, at the end of a sermon, during a Sunday service, communion, wedding, funeral. I don't know why. I'm going to put a pin in this. I'm going to message the vicar, sober him up, and then I will ask, I joke, and then we will ask. And I'll come back to you on that because I would genuinely like to know the answer to that. Imagine that being at hell, what you in for clapping in church? Well, I have previously been in a church and had my legs crossed. And I got told off for crossing my legs. And apparently you don't cross your legs in church. Well, is that like crossing your fingers? You're not believing it?
29:21 Speaker 04 No, I don't know. Maybe it's too informal. I don't. So I'm going to come back to you about crossing legs in churches and clapping. Tune in next week. Stay tuned. No, that's good. I didn't know why you shouldn't cross your legs. There is quite a lot of church etiquette. There is, yes. Let's finish with comment of the week. This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube, or any of our socials. Before we get to our favourite one, the honourable mentions, Kitty commented, so can we agree that Ben no longer reads the dilemmas? One off, yes. Thank goodness. Oh, Kitty got claws. Kitty does have claws. Kitty don't, but not now she's been fed. I, I was a bit like, why is he reading the? Because I got motion sickness. Yeah, which annoyed me. What would you permit to just throw up on you?
30:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, just stop being a fanny and read the frigging. And if I threw up on you. You won't be such a drama queen. But actually, I thought Ben reading the dilemma is quite nice. It made a refreshing change, didn't it? It did. Darren commented, Mikey doing an impression of Jordan doing a Mikey impression is something I never thought I would hear. Yes, very meta. Being in a parallel world. But our comment of the week goes to Emily, who listened to our tour bus episode and said, producer Ben thinking William was going to say he can't wait to suck Jordan's delicious cock is probably the funniest thing he said in his life. When was that? Apparently on the tour bus.
30:41 Speaker 03 But you said, you said that on the tour bus.
30:44 Speaker 04 Was that on the X race? No, I think I said, I can't wait to suck something and you, Jordan's, I can't wait to suck your Jordan delicious something. And clearly Ben, Ben had cock on the mind, but I wasn't going to say that. I think it was the cock, the KFC, the chicken. Yes, the KFC. Well, there we go. We are, if you want to listen back to that, it was a couple of weeks ago, our tour bus, tour bus episode.
31:07 Speaker 03 I, it's a bit of a blur being on that tour bus. But I did, um, I did enjoy it.
31:13 Speaker 04 It was good fun.
31:14 Speaker 03 It's fun touring.
31:15 Speaker 04 It was, yes.
31:16 Speaker 03 Remember you can listen to the episodes of Tuesday and Friday. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected] . We also love hearing back from people we offer advice to. So if that's you, get back in touch and we'll speak to you on Tuesday.
31:32 Speaker 04 Goodbye.
31:32 Speaker 03 Bye bye.
31:39 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from Ted's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over a hundred dollars off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
32:13 Speaker 07 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life. Plus experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the Midpoint.
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