Old People Foreplay | And Nostalgic LADS Mags

After William got a telling-off from Jordan for being too old to use certain emojis, the boys are back to debating all the things we're too old to do - and why some things are better when you're older! There's also plenty of discussion on lads' mags, seeing ghosts and why metal detectorists give William the ick. If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected], and for more Sexted fun sign up https://sextedmyboss.com/newsletter/ to our free VIG&Diva newsletter. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production. If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hello, this is Suzy Ruffel. And Maisy Adam. And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mags, what is it? Only the best podcast ever. Yes. A comedy entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel. Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping too. Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip. Num, num, num, num, num. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. You just need to search Big Kick Energy. Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome to our Friday episode. It's where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on and how our advice went down with you. Our wonderful Jean Divas.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  You notice for today's episode, I found my plaque saying creative director.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  I found my plaque saying Jordan North, star of the show, which actually annoys you more, so.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  It doesn't actually.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Yes, it does.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  No, it doesn't.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Yes, it does.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  And I know it does.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  No, because.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Star of the show.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  The truth doesn't hurt.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Star of the show. At the time of release, we will be on tour.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  But at the time of recording, it's a week away. So what are you doing in your final week of preparations before the tour?

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Uh, I've got to see my family, actually.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  Uncles and aunts and cousins on Saturday and parents and brother on Sunday.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Oh, could you be arsed?

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Want to see my family?

• 1:28Speaker 01

  Oh, it is Mother's Day on Sunday, isn't it?

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  And also my father's birthday.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  Very nice. All on the same day.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Very efficient.

• 1:36Speaker 03

  Just like Jordan. Valentine's Day, when you send Valentine's Day cards to each other.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yes. Yeah.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  We don't send Valentine's Day cards to each other. Hello, Ben.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Hi, Ben.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I'm doing that. What are you doing?

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm going to watch Seematt on Friday.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Isn't that what you used to sort of have on the TV when you checked like the weather?

• 1:54Speaker 01

  You and Cat should come to that. Do you want me to see if you can get you some tickets?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  What's Seematt?

• 1:57Speaker 03

  I have Williams coming over for dinner.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Are you winding me up? Again?

• 2:02Speaker 03

  I'm winding you up, but I have got dinner plans.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I was gonna say, you and Cat are like that.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  I thought you invited me for breakfast.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Seematt's an Irish singer.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  An Irish singer?

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Very good.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Oh, a woman.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  The butcher, the baker.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  Oh, we've done that, yes.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  I've been the butcher, I've been the baker, I've been the horn, the family maker, I've been a hoo. Yeah, that one, we've done that on TikTok.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Yes, that was, I think, our first thing.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Then I'm gonna watch, I just watched Six Nations, yuck.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  I'm in the pub with Hugo, Hugo and Tom.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  And then Sunday, uh, Mother's Day, isn't it?

• 2:38Speaker 02

  It is Mother's Day, I know, I just told you that, yeah.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  But I'm not seeing Wendy, no, so, but I've sent me cards.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Well done.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  So I've proper funky pigeoned up me moon pigs, that's all I'm gonna say.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Guess what, I'm getting my mother, it's what she, this sort of, she'll have had it by the time this goes out, it's what every mother wants. She doesn't know she wants it, but I'm getting it for her, getting her a laminator.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  What, we're in the nineties, a laminator?

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Yes, I've recently got one, and you can laminate all your loose recipes, because I have lots of recipes printed out, and then they don't get any sort of muck on them. And I told her about it, and she said, oh, that does sound quite good, maybe I'll put it on my birthday list. Her birthday's in July, but I thought, no, Mothering Sunday's coming up, God's gift.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Well, you are a little love, aren't you?

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  That's a very sweet thing.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  She's getting that, and my father's getting a, uh, subscription to Travel Magazine that he wanted.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Travel magazine?

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 3:29Speaker 02

  All the places that he wants to go that my mother won't let him go.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Who's buying subscriptions to magazines? I had one for GQ, but then I just, they build up, don't they? Yeah.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, but then you like recycle them, once you read.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I never read them, I won't read them.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Well, then, then it's a waste of money, yeah.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  But I was happy to spoil it, because I thought it was a very good magazine, anyway, yeah.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  It's clearly not that good, if you stop reading it. Which magazines did you read whilst you were younger? I used to read Private Eye, and what I did.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Match, Match Magazine.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Match?

• 3:58Speaker 01

  And 442. Oh, I used to, I used to love, genuinely, I was in it, I used to love Zoo and Nuts as well.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  What? What? I did.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  And there was nothing about peaking, isn't it? So they stopped buying it.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Every week I used to get Sue and notes and read it on way to college. They weren't as bad as what people met out. I mean, probably read them now and they were, but at the time it was just normal. Did you ever used to read Sue notes?

• 4:22Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  I didn't have a subscription to buy them.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Right. I remember we, there used to be a game called Tell Me, where it's just like a board game and you spin a wheel and it lands on a letter. And then the caller reads out like a television programme, beginning with the letter and then A, and you would say whatever. And I remember playing with my late grandmother, etiquette granny, and it was, the letter was N and it was like a magazine and she just went nuts. And we're all like, how the flip did you know that?

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Did she actually?

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, she did.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Fair play.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Quick as a flash.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, Jack, you read nuts and sue, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, F H M loaded. I had lots of posters from loading up in my room, actually.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Oh, I had a poster of steps on my wall.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. What, at the band or staircases?

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Grand staircase at Buckingham Palace, yeah. That was on my wall.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Well, you've shown me up there, that was lovely, because I just got my mum a top from M and S.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Oh, that's nice. Usually discount. Lovely.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  She's very crafty, Wendy. I'll give her a due. I wouldn't change your foot world. She said, oh, thin and top I like in M and S, will you get it me? And send it. I went, yeah. She said, I'll give you money. And then I went, oh, it's all right. Call it a Mother's Day gift. She went, yeah. She went, your grandma wants one as well. I was like, all right.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Ah, now where do we stand on this?

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Because you've got to get your grandma a card. Mother-in-law as well, as well. Yes, you've got to get one.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Well, mother-in-law, I kind of get, yes.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Chris Starks bought six cards. He's bought one from kids, one from kids to grandma, one from kids to mother-in-law, one from kids from dog. It's honestly.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  No, you see, I don't think, I think it should, okay, mother-in-laws, yes, I get. But really, it should be sort of like, you know, your partner should be doing that and you sign it. But to your grandmother or mothers, no, like your mother should be doing that card. I, I think giving to grand, it's, it's not grandmother's day, it's mother's day. I mean, it was technically nothing to do with mothers, it was to do with the church. But anyway, it, no, I think giving to grandmothers is very, very odd.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  No, I disagree. What, it was to do with the church?

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, mother-in-law's got absolutely nothing to do with mothers. It's just Hallmark have made it over the time.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Flowers I never get. I've never like, I don't get flowers.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  What do you mean? You don't, as in no one gives you flowers or you don't get giving flowers?

• 6:30Speaker 01

  I wouldn't, I just don't get, it's a girl thing, isn't it? Flowers. A mum thing.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  It doesn't have to be.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Do you like flowers? I'm not that arse. Have you ever been bought flowers before?

• 6:41Speaker 02

  You should go round to Ben, it's non-stop pansies.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Have you been bought flowers? I have been bought flowers.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  You've bought me flowers.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, because it's you. But I wouldn't, oh, you've sent me flowers, to be fair.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  They were lovely. Yeah, they were lovely.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  They do look lovely every time I come over and you send me texts going, oh, they're still going. Your stems are still hard.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. Get me beers. Get me something to eat. Do you know what I'd rather have? Muffins or those cookies with your name on it. You know, you can put happy birthday, big cookies.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  What, from Millie's Cookies?

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Right, okay.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Fancy.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Oh, shut up.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  What?

• 7:15Speaker 02

  You.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  They are. Have you seen how dear they are?

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Talking of what you can get from Millie's Cookies, you can get birthday cakes and Jordan, happy eighth birthday.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  What?

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Ha- God, it's not even, not even know what day of the week it is, do you? Happy eighth birthday.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Is it our birthday?

• 7:31Speaker 02

  We've had it, thirteenth.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Of?

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Last week, March.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  That was our eighth birthday?

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Eight years ago. Old top nut over there.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  God.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  It was eight and a half, actually.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  It's eight and a half years.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Since the pilot, yeah. Do you can, if you're interested, the pilot is somewhere on our feed. I mean, it is hysterically odd to go back and listen to that, but it is somewhere there. I think we released it around the time of our hundredth episode, maybe?

• 7:57Speaker 01

  No, didn't we just release it as our first episode?

• 8:00Speaker 02

  No, no, no, that was the first episode. There is a pilot.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  And then we came back in for the recording, didn't we?

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Was the pilot about Christmas parties?

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Possibly, yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  We'll see if we can find it and we'll, we'll stick a link on, in the newsletter, on socials, somewhere.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Eight and a half years.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  But officially eight.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  Eight.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Anyway, Jordan, you told me that I'm too old to use the skull emoji, dead, to respond to something funny. So we asked our GNDs what they are too old to do. So Jordan, I thought we could decide what age we think is the cutoff for any of these activities.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Cut-off.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  This reminds me of my first ever appearance on This Morning with Nancy DeLollio. Back in the day, where I said that women should stop wearing bikinis over the age of fifty.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  I imagine my first appearance on this morning where I said no one should dance over forty.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  We basically did the same, same shtick. I was like, Steve Allen, the lovely Steve Allen from LBC, used to call her Nancy Delusion, or she used to make me laugh. Anyway, Sophia said, going down every slide I walked past in children's playgrounds, it hasn't put me off, I just turned twenty five. No.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  No, you can't, you can't do that. You can't go down.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  I mean, if responsibly, if you've had one too many sherbets and it's at night and all the children are in bed.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  You're such a middle class, basic bitch.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  And you go past a children's playground.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  How about a Jacobs Creek? Ooh.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Jacobs Creek, middle class. That would perhaps be acceptable, but during the day, particularly when there are kids around.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Nineteen Crimes, ooh.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Nineteen, what?

• 9:30Speaker 01

  I'm not at that.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Not at Nineteen Crimes?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  The wine?

• 9:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Ben doesn't like Nineteen Crimes, turns his nose up at it.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  So, yeah, Sophia, I would say no.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  Too old, yeah.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  Sammy said they're apparently too old for a Happy Meal, not that it's stopped them.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  They do adult ones now, you get little Friends figures, I've got them, they look like ours in the background there.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  All right.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  What?

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Well, surely that's just, that's just a McDonald's meal with a toy. That's not really a Happy Meal.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  Basically, right, I'm gonna say this sentence, you're gonna take the piss, but I went to River Cafe with Andy Peters on Sunday.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Okay, for those that don't know, River Cafe is a very nice restaurant in Hammersmith by the river, funnily enough, that's known for very high quality ingredients.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  And indeed, a high price ticket.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  But I, I went and I had the fish and it didn't fill me up, so when I got all my order of Mackies and they do little adult.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  I'm sure Ruthie Rogers is delighted.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  They do little adult Happy Meals and I got a little Monica figure. So there you go.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Lovely. Well, you're too old for that. Lucy is 31 and she said, I'm too old for advent calendars and Easter eggs, but nope, I still get them.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  No, you're never too old for advent calendars.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  I would say advent calendars, if they're a chocolate advent calendar, yes. Bit tragic to have them past 30.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  I think it is. Um, Easter eggs. I had one the other day. Bought one myself. I bought the Waitrose number one pistachio one. Delish. Did it in two days.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Can I just say the M and S one's a lot better? Thank you very much. Cause I've got the M and S one.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  Well, I've never tried one.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  And it's filled with pistachio, a full egg.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  I think the Waitrose one's very nice, actually.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Bitch, please.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  I'm not on their payroll, so I can say whatever I like.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  I'm not on anyone's payroll. I'm me own man.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Right. Emily has the classic millennial quandary. I'm in a constant battle of whether to wear Gen Z long socks or trusty millennial trainer socks.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm going to trainer socks in the, in the summer.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Well, I assume Emily, you are a millennial, so I would wear the socks appropriate to your age.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Gen Z will never have the, the, the problems we had where we used to have to make long socks into trainer socks. Weird how stuff come back in. Cause when I were a kid, if you wore long socks, you'd look like a German shot putter.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  I'm mistranchable.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. And now it's like cold again. It is weird. It is weird what comes back in.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Trish has been caught out by emojis meaning different things to different generations and said, I send the thumbs up emoji. Apparently it's rude. Yeah. I've said this before on this podcast. I think sometimes certain people close to us who are not in this room will sometimes send me the thumbs up and I'm like, is that passive aggressive?

• 11:59Speaker 01

  I do it.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  It comes across as passive aggressive.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  I do it to be sarky. If you're in an argument with someone, just send them the thumbs.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  You send it to me all the time.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Send them the thumbs up emoji, especially your over half pisses them right.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  Tell you what.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  You'll win as well. You'll win. You'll win. You'll win. Next time she's nagging, just send that thumbs up emoji.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  You stop doing thumbs up to me and I'll stop doing dead.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Deal.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Great. And finally Shelby said, I'm in my mid 30s and think me and my partner, my partner and I are too old for or, for oral sex.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  He doesn't think there's an age limit. Is there a cut off? No, it gets better, especially as you get older with no teeth. You can take them out. I don't think this. You've just had full wisdom teeth removed. Anything you want to tell us? You don't want to be getting blowjobs in your 56. Oh, I'm gonna. No, you shouldn't. Do you? Do you want to be sucking Mikey off when you're 60? Do you really? Come on, think about it. Do you want to thi- do you thi- I'm not 60, so I can't. I'm gonna say it. Do you think our parents are still doing it? Wow. Exactly. You don't want them to. Well, actually, your parents probably are.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Your mum's 60 this year, so I reckon she's still under the cut off.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Right. I don't want to think about, eh, get out of here. You're the one who mentioned it, you fool. Nobody wants to think of the mum still sucking the dad off, do they? So probably there is a cut off limit, but not in 30. In your 30s, you're fine. You are so ageist. I'm not ageist. Yes, you are. I'm not. I'm not. I just don't know if we should be having 60 year olds sucking each other off. If I'm honest. If I'm honest. I've never thought about it, but I have now. How about a 69 year old? Hey, I don't know. Maybe the-

• 13:37Speaker 03

  That's the one year above 60.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  I'm sure we've got some silver sexters that would get in touch. I do want that correspondence. And if you're selling 60s, you listen to this podcast and you're still sucking and fingering and rimming, get in touch. Yama, yama, yama. Let us know.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  That's another question that we can ask the audience on tour.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  No, we're not.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Anyone over here 60, please stand up and stay standing if you've sucked someone off.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  But Shelby, no, you, you, you're in your mid 30s. You, you, you're not too. Gobble gobble. Yeah, gobble gobble. But I suppose in your- So hang on, what age are we stopping that then? I don't want to say it because I'm ju- I want to know. 40? No. I would have probably said 40, ye- ye- years. I think it's, age is so subjective.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  I think it's 60.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  I think you might be right, but I don't want to. How old's your dad?

• 14:24Speaker 03

  They're still-

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Same age.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  They're still under the limit.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  I don't want to think of, stop it. No. And my dad, my mum won't because she hates seeing dad enjoying himself, so there's no chance of that.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  So there's- Wow. There's no chance of that.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Right, let's move.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Shall we just go to a break now?

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Right, last week, we had a dilemma from a listener who wanted to know how to tell a prospective partner about a hobby that might give them the ick. Obviously, we are completely judgment free, as the last five minutes has told you, but we don't mind occasionally sharing our opinions we asked for your hobbies, so we can judge them. So, Jordan, what do you think of these hobbies? Do they give you the ick? You know, what sexed character would like them? You can maybe do some impressions if you so wish. Sarah, not my mother, likes canine cross-country and says it's trail running, but with your dog. Diego would love it. Diego, would you like to frolic around and get sweaty in the mud?

• 15:37Speaker 01

  I'd absolutely love the idea. I would, but the thing is, in doggy years, I'm over 60 now, so I don't know if I'd be allowed to do any frolicking, according to you, so.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I'm not too sure. I'll dry umpa leg, though.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Is that okay after 60?

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, dry umping, I encourage it. It's great when you're, like, 18, and then it probably comes back in in your 80s.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  Daniel likes reading smutty romance books. Which of the team would read smutty romance books?

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Uh, Ben.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Simon likes Lego, but thinks being 50 and into Lego is probably a big red flag for a lot of people when they're 18.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  No, I don't think Lego's a, uh, an ick. I, I don't, don't make it your personality.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Do you think Duplo would be an ick if you're 50? It's the bigger bricks.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  See, I preferred them.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course you did.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  I were better at them.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  I couldn't shove them up my nostrils.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Right. Claire crochets ghosts and penises.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  That's not an ick. People, hear me out. Girls that are into ghosts and stuff find lads that are into ghosts and stuff gives me the ick. You know, like when you've got, like, you watch, I don't know, someone on Channel 4 and go, ooh, I'm doing an important ghost hunter, full-time plumber, you're like.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  Tell you what does give me the, metal detectorists, odd.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  Unless you're doing it for an archaeological purpose.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  What I don't get about that is, they'll spend 20 years of their life.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Beep, beep, beep, beep, right, finding fucking two peas from 90s or.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Bottle tops from a milk lid.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  From a milk bottle, yeah.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's where they generally come from.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Some Roman artefacts, yeah, and they've got to give it into a landowner or put it in a museum. I'd be fuming at that, what's, what's.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Well, it's called, called, you know, common law.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  But I think they get a bit, they get a cut of it or something, they share it with a landowner.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Hmm. Well, metal detectorists, if we've still got any listening, write in.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  I'd like to do that.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Oh my word, I've just read the last one.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  I used to watch Time too, with Tony Robinson, I'd be into that.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Lovely. I've read this last one. Finally, Meghan has seen Wicked in the West End 108 times, that's more than my husband. Uh, is seeing a musical more than a handful of times a hic?

• 17:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  I put 108 times seeing Wicked in the West, especially in the West End, because.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  108 times.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  See, one of my favourite films, and I watch it every World Cup or Euros, is Mike Bassett, England manager. And I watch that every time before England play. It lasts every two years.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  So I won't watch it every week.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Okay. Um, but no, I think you can see a show as much as you like, particularly if it's a good one, like Mary Poppins.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  All right, we'll do more of your responses and messages after the break.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  Hello, this is Susie Ruffel. And Maisy Adam. And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mags, what is it? Only the best podcast ever. Yes. A comedy entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel. Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping too. Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip. Num, num, num, num, num. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, you just need to search Big Kick Energy. Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Hey Gene Devers, thanks for sticking with us. We hope we've not offended anyone too much on this episode so far. What other responses have we got please William?

• 19:04Speaker 02

  Yes, well we've had a lot of people messaging in regarding this next topic, including Jackie who got in touch to let us know that there is another podcast answering our dilemmas. Jackie writes, "Hi boys, I was listening to this week's podcast and William read out a dilemma from anonymous regarding the ick that she got from a date that she went on. This exact same dilemma was read out by Rosie and Chris on last week's Shag Meridinoide. I bet anonymous is happy her story is being heard by lots of different listeners." And I would just like to say, we recorded our episode before they recorded theirs.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  And it's fine to like, send in from different podcasts and stuff. It's all like, people listen to different radio shows and different TV programmes and what have you.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  There's no such thing as an original idea or story.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  But the person who sent that in who wishes to remain anonymous DM'd me.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  I did that. How do you know?

• 19:51Speaker 01

  And said that they didn't, I'm pretty sure they said, I can't find the receipts, but I'm pretty sure they said, I sent it, I sent that and I didn't send it to Rosie and Chris, I think someone's copied. Do you want me to find the receipts? Or just move on? I'm pretty sure someone DM'd me this week and said, "Hey."

• 20:11Speaker 02

  I miss Mark.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  We need to do some investigating.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  We'll do some, the plot thickens.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  We are now friends with Chris and Rosie.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  We are. We were never not, but we've met them.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Well.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Oh, any beef that you had Ben?

• 20:27Speaker 01

  Her house is lovely. She puts her house up on Insta.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  I know, I complimented her on something the other day.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  What's compliment?

• 20:37Speaker 02

  I can't remember, it was a wallpaper or a cushion.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  Nothing to do with the house.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  You can tell, you can look at certain girls and gentlemen and be like, they've got a nice house.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  What?

• 20:49Speaker 02

  We just found an act two. An act two quiz.

• 20:54Speaker 01

  We're thinking of an idea.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  A few people on stage, shithole.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  And then a picture of the house comes up.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Have you ever watched, they're all on YouTube, Dame Edna's Neighbourhood Watch?

• 21:05Speaker 01

  No.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Do you know how it works? It was a game show from the late eighties. It is hysterical. You could, they could only do two series, which they had to record at the time. So Dame Edna has an audience full of women, all female audience and obviously female presenter. And anyway, three are selected at random and they, to play the quiz from the audience. And she goes, okay, it's a quiz buzz in. Who lives in this house? And they show Buckingham Palace buzzed the Queen. Who lives in this house? And then Jackie buzzes in and it's, you know, the White House, the President. And who lives in this house? And the third house is Jackie's house. And Jackie does not know that her husband has basically set her up. They've got an entire sat truck outside the house. And then Dame Edna's cameras go in and they look at the marks behind the headboard. They open drawers.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Jackie thinks she's gone for a nice night out at Television Centre or wherever it is. And it is hilarious. That is my, we'll put that in the carousel that goes out at some point. Uh, William's recommendation of the week. Excellent. They put a whole thing of sheep in their conservatory at one point. I mean, it's, I love it.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Our carousel is just the pictures. I love that we put up every week on the sexted socials.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Normally on a Tuesday, so Joe can do a bonus Friday. Um, Amber has got in touch to share a tale that still keeps her up at night. Good morning or evening, gentle human beans.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  I attended Kirkham Grammar School for two years in good old Lancashire. Ah, yes. This, uh, may prick Jordan's ears up as it is a bit posh.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Well, well.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  I went to Carhill, which was just round down.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  And is that, where does that stand?

• 22:41Speaker 01

  And I'm pretty sure Kirkham Grammar had to pay for it, it's posh.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  They thought they were posh.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  But Carhill actually used to get better GCSEs for a few years when I was there. We got better GCSE results, I remember, because they had a big banner up. It's like when a local, but anyway.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  I was enrolled in said posh school because my mum didn't want me going to Turkish High in Preston. It was apparently a bit rough.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Turkish High?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  That's what they're saying.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  Tulketh.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  Well, he, she, they put Turkish high in inverted commas.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Tulketh had a bad rap. I used to play five-a-side there.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  While at this school, I started playing tennis with my rather nice new private school friends. Great sport. It also kept me active during the school holidays at tennis camp. However, my knowledge of tennis soon began to unravel as my true self emerged. I lived in a council house and had never watched a game of tennis in my life. Whenever we played, everyone kept calling me love. So, uh, they said it to me a lot. I assumed that they must like me as they kept calling it to me. So naturally I started calling it back to them. Now, as an adult who's actually watched tennis, I realise something rather embarrassing. Turns out love means zero.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Now at thirty-eight or something like that, I'm trying not to use the word love because it gives me PTSD. Should I start using it as my secret, I really don't like you, love phrase? And that's from Amber, who went to private school and ended up in public school. Etiquette went out the window when I discovered cigarettes and Chardonnay.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  I know, worst.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Chardonnay was, uh, who she was at school with.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the worst thing that happened to me with Lambert and Butler and frosty jacks.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Right.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  So it aged me.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can see it.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Hmm. Um, no, I don't think.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  They were two lads at my, yeah.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, yeah, I don't, I don't, I wouldn't start using it as your secret phrase, but I do like the idea that you didn't realise.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Forty, love. Oh, cheers, love.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  That's my joke. I went to Wimbledon last year.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Yes, it was.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  I said, what score is it? He said, forty, love. I said, oh, thanks, love.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  Um, someone has actually got in touch regarding producer Ben's request for running partners during our tour. We were inundated with this one message.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Oh, do people want to go running with you?

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Hello to the sexy team. I was listening to your Friday release and heard EPB talking about doing a run in the morning after the shows. I'm heading to Cardiff and would definitely be up for joining, though after a few Guinness the night before, I might be doing more spewing than sprinting. I'm training for a half in May for charity, so any excuse to get in a run works for me. If there's a plan for Cardiff, count me in. Cheers, Alan. No, that's from Tom.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, we need to be a bit careful. We, come, you know, it's Ben. We need to vet who's, oh, our listeners are fine. He's all coming. He's fine. But then, what, oh, tell her where they're gonna meet you.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  So. Room 429, doors unlocked.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Premuring.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Am I allowed to speak?

• 25:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Okay, well, the plan is currently, so in Cardiff and Glasgow.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  If you're allowed to come.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  If I'm there.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  I'll be staying over on the Friday night and the run will be on the Saturday morning. And for each of those shows, there's a thing called a park run, which happens every Saturday morning at 9am. So in Cardiff, there's a Cardiff Park Run, I will be there. I'll have to.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  Are you actually gonna do this?

• 25:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Similarly.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  I've had, literally, I've had some messages.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Interestingly, I'm doing something in a park after the shows as well, if anyone would like to join.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  We can, we can.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Can I just say, when I was filming in Spain with lovely Beverly Callard.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  One series.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  Destination, we're only ever gonna get a series, thank you very much, because it's changed the time, because Curry went to an hour. So fuck off.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  If that's what you want to tell yourself, they only made it go for now because they didn't want you to get another series.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Oh, I bet then.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  I bet then. Anyway, I, um, someone told me that, because we were filming like 12, 14 hour days. But someone did say to me, in the, because Beverly had it in her contract, this was great. She had it in a contract that she had to have her hair and makeup done. So as she was getting her hair and makeup done, I used to go for a run. And I ran in pretty much every major city in Spain and it felt like it was the best way I got to see it all. I'm not, there's a park in Valencia. No, no, no, not Valencia. I run around Valencia, Toledo. But there's a park in, I can't remember, but it used to be a river, but now it's a park. Is that Valencia? Yeah.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  That's really interesting.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm absolutely fascinated by it.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  On this talk, the best, I was gonna say, the best way to see a city is probably going on a run in the morning.

• 27:03Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  Or walk around it and you get to see it in slower time.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  Okay, well, there's gonna be four runs, one the morning after each show.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  He's not coming.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Cardiff Park Run, London, I need to sort, I'm thinking a corner of Hyde Park. And then Glasgow, I'm gonna do the Pollock Park Run and.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  It's all Pollock.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  Manchester, I need to sort the vet, where I'm gonna do it.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  You're not staying in a hotel in London, are you?

• 27:25Speaker 02

  No.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  More details coming.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  We did last time, shut up.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Well, yes, because we were around the corner.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Carry on, what were you saying? Right, if you wanna, if you wanna go on a park run and see Ben, DM him, whatever, let's do another one.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Becca's messaging to share why we've been helping her with her new journey to work. Hello, William Jordan, EPP, Gorgeous Diego and the amazing Sexton team. Not a dilemma, but I just felt I had to write in. I'm a long time G and D ever and want to thank you both for being so brilliant. I struggle with anxiety, particularly on long car or train journeys. After getting a promotion at work, my new role required me to travel quite a lot and the worry about this was starting to take over. But then I thought, why not take the best boys with me? Now, I actually look forward to every journey and if I'm travelling on a Tuesday or Friday, even better, it's new episode day. I've last while driving down the M6 on my train to Manchester and in so many other places.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Oh, you're pulsing the M6 and trains to Manchester, fair play.

• 28:20Speaker 02

  You've really turned something I was dreading into something that has helped me go even further in my career. You probably don't realise how much you do for everyone. From someone who is no longer riddled with anxiety, all I can say is thank you. I can't wait to see you in Wembley in a couple of weeks. My bestie and I are so excited. Thanks again, you amazing too. Oh, Becca, we're delighted.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  That's so, it's still mad to think that people are coming to see us, this.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  Well, it's more than this. They're mainly coming for the Debonnets, let's be honest.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  But it's just mad, isn't it? That's, that's such a lovely letter. Can you, genuinely, I know we're celebrating our eighth birthday. Said eight years ago, we'll be doing arenas and people will be coming to see us.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  I wouldn't have believed you.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  I wouldn't have believed you.

• 29:00Speaker 03

  Neither would I.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Neither would I.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Well, you're not, to be fair.

• 29:04Speaker 03

  No, I'm not going, but I just like, obviously like, I was there to watch you two in the studio and I just, I would have never thought these two are gonna make it to the arena.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Oh, thanks, thanks very much.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Well, I didn't think you'd make it to a second series. I thought you were a bit shit.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, here I am.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  I didn't think you'd pass your probation, but somehow you did.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  I don't think I didn't.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Weren't you the first ever employee at Audio Always?

• 29:24Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Second?

• 29:26Speaker 03

  Something like that.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Third, he's been there a long time.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  I have been there a long time.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  He is very much our first.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Audio Always is the production company, Stuart, our chairman emeritus is his company and they make the podcast.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  It is mad though, I have been there for a long time, but back to arenas, like just think about.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  You've got a pension?

• 29:42Speaker 03

  You know, when you've been to, yes, I've obviously got a pension, when you've been to an arena show, like Manchester Arena, I went there before Christmas and. God, it's

• 29:51Speaker 01

  I know. Do you remember when we went to watch, um, Thingy together, me and you?

• 29:55Speaker 03

  My dad wrote a porno.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  Hmm. And that was at what, Roundhouse?

• 29:57Speaker 02

  Roundhouse.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. It is mental, isn't it? Mental.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  Well done. Good luck.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Thanks very much. We'll let you know how it goes.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, please.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  Do.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  Or some of the people that come and join you for the runs could, um,

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Yes, I'll hear a bit of a review.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  You can hear some, see what we actually get up to.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Can we dress you like the 118 man? That's how you'll know it'll be Ben. Got your own number. 118, 118. Yeah?

• 30:23Speaker 03

  I do actually need to think about what to wear.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Gen Z.

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, running clothes presumably.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Because obviously if I was part of the show, then I could have worn one of my outfits to run in.

• 30:31Speaker 01

  Please do it in a barathong.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Shall we finish with comment of the week?

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Yes, this can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socia's.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Um, this is from Jody. It's an honourable mention. Uh, you said you wanted the boys in Glasgow to come in kilts. What about the girls?

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, whatever. I mean, they're called a skirt.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, fingers on lips.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  Wow. Thomas commented regarding-

• 31:00Speaker 01

  I said, don't be shouting.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Right. Thomas commented regarding a well-known fast food restaurant. The only appropriate response to have you had five guys is not at the same time.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  I still do it now, Thomas. Someone goes, and they go, do you want to go to Five Guys? I go, there very nearly be six guys.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  That was one of my jokes, right? Series one.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Yes, I know. That's what I'm saying.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Oh, I see. Sorry.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  It's stuck in my head because of you.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  Okay, fine. Sorry. I thought you were claiming it as your own.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  God, you're very protective of your comedy, aren't you?

• 31:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Best comment of the week.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Julian Clary's comedy.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Excuse me, that is an OG, Ben. Because I was very nearly chatted up in Five Guys.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Shut fire.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  But our comment of the week.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Oh, was you actually chatted up?

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, just before Mike and I got together. I genuinely remember it. And the joke is it was very nearly six guys. Uh, it's iconic of William to be using the skull emoji. He should continue using it. Laughing faces as so last year. Thank you, Sophie.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  They're not our selfie. They're faces that are laughing.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  Oh, so how, how deep, how philosophical.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  Well, they are. You know, if I'm feeling a bit naughty, I'll send the sideways face. If I'm feeling a bit cheeky, I'll send a winky face, I'm not going to send the clown nose face, am I? Whatever it is.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Talking of it being Mother's Day on Sunday, mother-in-law, my mother-in-law uses the sort of that, you know, that slightly, the cheeky, slightly upturned smile face.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the one I use.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  That's the one that you're talking about, but she uses that like about bad news.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  She'll be like, oh God, the cat's died.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  See, I use that when I'm horny. Remember, you can listen to new episodes.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Wasn't her daughter called Cat?

• 32:42Speaker 01

  I know the one you mean, yeah.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  My nervous one's the teeth one.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Right, come on, we've got to go to Cardiff.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Uh, remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected]. We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to, so if that's you, get back in touch and we'll speak to you on Tuesday.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Or in an arena.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  We'll see you in an arena.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Goodbye.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  Good show.

• 33:20Speaker 04

  The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate, take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life, plus experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday, search for Life at the midpoint.