Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss Help There’s A Fishy Smell | And William Gets Chintzy About this episode We’ve all been there. You’re trying to live your best life. Be the best version of yourself. Eat right. Sleep right. Exercise daily. But life has a cruel way of turning all your efforts against you. It’s just not very often that it manifests as you smelling like rotten fish. If that makes no sense, don’t worry - William and Jordan will explain all! Plus, the boys discuss whether you should ever get married on a Thursday and give some tips on how to answer the phone.
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Transcript 9,781 words · 11 speakers
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0:34 Speaker 01 Hi, everyone. It's Katie Couric. And on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households. Yet, many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long-term financial choices ahead. Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected, whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years, so its customers can keep theirs. Ask a financial professional about how Pacific Life
1:19 Speaker 01 can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.
1:34 Speaker 02 Just before we start the episode, we were talking to Social Jo, who's in today. She's brought treats. Thank you. It's Nolte, but she's not here. I was asking her about her cats, and she said, and I quote, "One is very stupid and one is very bitchy." And all at the same time, everyone in the room went, "Just not in this podcast." Charming. Cheers.
2:00 Speaker 02 Hello and welcome to Help I Sextured My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life, answering your 21st century questions and finding solutions to those everyday dilemmas like, what should you do when your date brings out a yellow lolly during sexy time? Oh yes, of course. Yeah, just check it before you lick it.
2:19 Speaker 03 And the lolly.
2:20 Speaker 02 Or, how do we find an excuse to roleplay as old ladies again? Did that go down well?
2:26 Speaker 03 Yes, I think so. Yeah, not with Saga, but it went down well with everyone else.
2:30 Speaker 02 And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss? But we're not usually like the answer, are we? William Well Hung Hanson.
2:36 Speaker 03 For heaven's sake. No, we're not, Jordan Pocket Rocket North. I'm more high maintenance, you're more highway maintenance. And that's from Stephanie. Thank you very much indeed.
2:47 Speaker 02 Thank you, Stephanie.
2:48 Speaker 03 Ironically, they've
2:49 Speaker 02 That's a good one, actually.
2:50 Speaker 03 They've given me big Willie distillery gin.
2:52 Speaker 02 Oh yeah.
2:53 Speaker 03 I'm sure there was some thought behind that.
2:55 Speaker 02 There's so many different types of gin now, you can't keep up.
2:58 Speaker 03 I know.
2:59 Speaker 02 You like a good old fashioned, go a bit more for me today. It's been one of them weeks, go on.
3:03 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah, but you never drink it.
3:05 Speaker 02 Well, not that much.
3:07 Speaker 03 Well, for God's sake, I can't win. Okay, and we'll do the Dubonnet. This week's toast goes to Danielle, who sent us a video of her listening to the podcast in the car. Now, the production team have told us to watch it. We've got a screen here, so Jordan, describe what we see whilst I finish.
3:22 Speaker 02 Oh, is this like a hazard theory test? I need to click?
3:24 Speaker 03 It's dash cam footage.
3:26 Speaker 02 Dash cam footage.
3:27 Speaker 03 Driving along a yellow box.
3:28 Speaker 04 It's passing it.
3:29 Speaker 03 Oh, I can hear you.
3:30 Speaker 02 She's listening to us.
3:32 Speaker 03 What's she doing? What's she doing?
3:34 Speaker 02 Oh.
3:35 Speaker 03 Oh my God.
3:37 Speaker 02 Oh my God.
3:38 Speaker 03 Oh my, they're having a crash for the wine.
3:42 Speaker 02 It wasn't a crash, it was a bump. Let's not be dramatic.
3:45 Speaker 03 Okay.
3:46 Speaker 02 But she did the right thing. She didn't swear, because if that were me, I'd be going, "Hey, you cockhead!"
3:49 Speaker 03 Can we see that again?
3:50 Speaker 02 So it wasn't actually her fault. If your insurers are listening, get in touch, because we'll back you up, Danielle.
3:56 Speaker 03 No, but what the hell are you doing there, Danielle? I'm sorry.
4:00 Speaker 02 She's avoiding the
4:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, but you don't
4:02 Speaker 02 No, she's not in the wrong
4:03 Speaker 03 She's trying to turn right, there's some stationary traffic, and she decides to cut up the stationary traffic.
4:09 Speaker 02 Well, there was nothing oncoming from the other side, so she's absolutely
4:11 Speaker 03 It doesn't matter, that's not how it works.
4:12 Speaker 02 The other person clearly didn't look for any oncoming traffic.
4:15 Speaker 03 Well, no, the other person clearly didn't think in a single lane of traffic, there would be anything coming from behind her.
4:19 Speaker 02 No, no, you still look, you still check the blind spots.
4:21 Speaker 03 Well, I would agree, yeah.
4:22 Speaker 02 And there could have been a cyclist.
4:23 Speaker 03 Whose side are we on? Danielle's or the law's?
4:25 Speaker 02 Ask Danielle if we can put it up on, oh no, don't put it up on, genuinely, don't put it up on social media, because
4:30 Speaker 03 No.
4:30 Speaker 02 The trolls will have a field day.
4:32 Speaker 03 Jeremy Vine will be all over that.
4:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, he would, wouldn't he? He would. Okay. So she was listening to us as it happened?
4:38 Speaker 03 Yes. Listening to, well, could I just say, she was actually listening to you. You were speaking at the time of the accident.
4:43 Speaker 02 Oh, it's not my fault. Don't blame me.
4:44 Speaker 03 If anything, she'll see you in court, not me.
4:48 Speaker 02 Anyway, how's your week been?
4:49 Speaker 03 Yes, it's been fine. How's your week been?
4:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, good. I seen you on Tuesday. We hosted a pub quiz together, didn't we?
4:54 Speaker 03 We did host a pub quiz. It was, it was good fun.
4:57 Speaker 02 It's a joke that I thought was borderline, if honest, and that's coming from me.
5:02 Speaker 03 I thought it was fine.
5:03 Speaker 02 I don't know, if I'm honest.
5:05 Speaker 03 They laughed. Are you talking about the Italian one?
5:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:08 Speaker 03 Oh, it's fine.
5:09 Speaker 02 Well, basically, we were doing a pub quiz and, um.
5:13 Speaker 03 There were people from all over Europe.
5:14 Speaker 02 There were people from all over Europe there. It was in a, in a hotel. And we were asked to be hosts, which was lovely. And one of the questions was about, we did an etiquette round and William said.
5:23 Speaker 03 Based off my TikTok clips.
5:26 Speaker 02 Yeah. And one of the questions was about, uh.
5:29 Speaker 03 What time should you stop drinking a cappuccino in Italian etiquette? The answer being 11 o'clock. In Italy, they say you don't really drink cappuccinos in the afternoon.
5:37 Speaker 02 Which is weird, because I love a cappuccino. See, I, I love a milky coffee in the afternoon. It's so much stronger than black in the morning.
5:43 Speaker 03 Right. It's because you're, it's because you're British, not Italian.
5:45 Speaker 02 Yeah. So anyway, we joked about that and then William said, if any Italians have got any problems, like, don't come to us.
5:52 Speaker 03 See me off.
5:53 Speaker 02 See me off. I don't want, and I quote, "A horse's head in my bed."
5:57 Speaker 03 It got a laugh.
5:58 Speaker 02 The Italian guy, you know, in America, they don't like that, the Italian community.
6:02 Speaker 03 Fine, we're talking about Italy.
6:04 Speaker 02 But, you know, they're not, yeah, anyway, you got away with it, but yeah.
6:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:09 Speaker 05 Hi guys. Isn't that just a Godfather joke?
6:11 Speaker 03 Yeah. You mean it's fine?
6:14 Speaker 05 It feels fine to me.
6:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly.
6:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's good for me.
6:16 Speaker 03 Oh, he's over sensitive. I don't use the word woke.
6:21 Speaker 02 I'm not. Well, I'm not over sensitive. Anyway, so yeah, we, you also had, yeah, just gonna say this. As, as a friend and someone who
6:32 Speaker 03 Oh, here we go.
6:33 Speaker 02 Loves you dearly, especially of late.
6:36 Speaker 03 Yes.
6:37 Speaker 02 Um, just one gin martini before you go on stage, please. Two is
6:43 Speaker 03 Jordan, you made me have that.
6:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know, but
6:46 Speaker 03 You were like, go on, let's order another drink.
6:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:49 Speaker 03 Go on. You made me have it.
6:51 Speaker 02 I did, I did.
6:52 Speaker 03 I didn't finish it.
6:53 Speaker 02 You did, didn't you?
6:54 Speaker 03 No.
6:54 Speaker 02 No, you could just tell you were on the fringes. So let's stick to one and then one after.
6:59 Speaker 03 Okay.
7:00 Speaker 02 What else have you done this week?
7:02 Speaker 03 What else have I done? Jordan, I have discovered a whole new world. Radiators. So this is an extension from bleeding my own radiators a few weeks ago. I've been ordering a new one
7:14 Speaker 02 Hmm.
7:14 Speaker 03 For the top bedroom, soon to be guest room, uh, with the, with the new mattress coming in. So we'll actually have space for guests.
7:22 Speaker 02 Shock, just because I have non-conventional radiators, William Hanson has decided.
7:26 Speaker 03 So I ordered a nice sort of Victorian cast iron, but not as, not as heavy.
7:31 Speaker 02 Oh, you're tech in the piss. You're basically ordering my raid just
7:35 Speaker 03 Jordan, you haven't, sorry, you don't have, you don't have a monopoly on cast iron radiators, all right?
7:40 Speaker 02 Everything I do
7:41 Speaker 03 A lot of traditional Victorian houses or even non-Victorian houses have that style of radiator.
7:46 Speaker 02 Everything I do in my house, you do.
7:49 Speaker 03 I wouldn't do what you've done in that bathroom. I'm joking. Um.
7:55 Speaker 02 Thought we weren't gonna talk about that.
7:57 Speaker 03 Anyway, so I, I've ordered one, but because it's going up on the top floor and that's something to do with the wall, it's a cavity. I don't
8:05 Speaker 02 A cavity wall.
8:06 Speaker 03 Plumber was, I've got, I've got to order a stand. So it's going to stand on the floor rather than be attached to the wall.
8:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's what mine does.
8:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's okay. Well, obviously it's a whole new world. And I've also ordered a new valve. It's a stainless steel valve. I've never been, thought I'd be excited about a radiator.
8:26 Speaker 02 A valve for the radiator?
8:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, you know, but you know, you say how hot or, or not you want it. It's called the valve.
8:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, the tap.
8:32 Speaker 03 Yeah. And mine's a more Victorian sort of wood dial as opposed to a plastic one. It's great. I have literally spent hours this week, well, 45 minutes on radiator heating websites.
8:45 Speaker 03 I just never thought I would ever be that sort of person that gets quite excited about radiators. I mean, the most exciting thing was what colour I should get the radiator, smoke, grey, ash, clunch, that sort of thing.
8:57 Speaker 02 You should take up paddle. Join the cult.
9:02 Speaker 03 How's that got anything to do with radiators?
9:04 Speaker 02 You need to start getting out more, though. I don't actually, I can't say that because you're out all the time.
9:08 Speaker 03 I know, I was out last night.
9:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know. Was you out again last night?
9:11 Speaker 03 Yeah. No, no, not properly. No, we were in bed.
9:13 Speaker 02 For a meal?
9:13 Speaker 03 We were in bed for ten thirty.
9:14 Speaker 02 Did you go for another meal?
9:15 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:15 Speaker 02 How many times a week do you eat out?
9:17 Speaker 03 Quite a lot.
9:18 Speaker 02 Three, four?
9:19 Speaker 03 And the dinners. And, um.
9:22 Speaker 02 Don't egg him, honestly. Don't egg. That was quite good. Oh my god.
9:28 Speaker 03 Hmm. With our friends Callum and Jack.
9:32 Speaker 02 Yes.
9:32 Speaker 03 I said to you on Tuesday, I said, oh, we're out with Callum and Jack. And you went, are there any gays in London you don't know?
9:38 Speaker 02 All right. I mean, that was our fair.
9:42 Speaker 03 Um, anyway, you all right?
9:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, good. All good.
9:45 Speaker 03 Now, big week for you next week.
9:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:47 Speaker 03 Because finally, something's coming out at long last.
9:56 Speaker 03 Tell us.
10:04 Speaker 02 You've been sitting on that all week.
10:06 Speaker 03 No, actually, I literally just thought of that.
10:08 Speaker 02 I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out.
10:09 Speaker 03 Oh.
10:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, now.
10:11 Speaker 03 Both?
10:12 Speaker 02 Um, all four. And I'm.
10:15 Speaker 03 Four? God, that's a lot of wisdom.
10:16 Speaker 02 So I went to see the surgeon this week. I was really worried and he was like going through it and the risks and stuff. I'm a bit.
10:24 Speaker 03 What are the risks?
10:25 Speaker 02 Well, there's quite a few. Anesthetic.
10:29 Speaker 03 Tell me one of them.
10:29 Speaker 02 I've never, well, I might die, will you? I've never been under an anesthetic before, have you?
10:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:35 Speaker 02 Oh, well, yeah. I've not got a will.
10:37 Speaker 05 Went to school with her.
10:40 Speaker 02 Didn't she sing, wasn't she a singer?
10:42 Speaker 03 Anesthetic.
10:44 Speaker 02 What was it?
10:45 Speaker 03 I'm out of love.
10:46 Speaker 02 I'm out of love.
10:48 Speaker 03 Tell you what, if you, if they, if you don't want to, you know, actually have the anesthetic, you could just listen to Ben for a bit and that would put you to sleep.
10:56 Speaker 02 That's true. I did think that. I did think that. Lot to talk about. First of all.
11:01 Speaker 03 I don't know if we actually sit, Danielle. Sorry, I've just realised we're actually, we were so.
11:04 Speaker 02 I met the surgeon and he was like talking through it and I was like, he went, any questions?
11:10 Speaker 03 Where's he from?
11:11 Speaker 02 I don't know. That's, that's best not saying because then we can't get in trouble. I was like, um, will I die?
11:16 Speaker 03 And he went, will I die?
11:18 Speaker 02 Don't be stupid. I do this. I do this every day. Yesterday, I fixed man with jaw broken in four places. This I do, one eye, one hand. It's fine. He said you'd be okay. All right. It's kind of what you want from a surgeon. It's like a pilot. You want him to be like a squaddie soldier. You want him to be confident, don't you? I went, well, a choke. No, you weren't choking. We have little Hoover that we put down your throat in case we lose.
11:40 Speaker 03 Oh, is it, is it a meal?
11:42 Speaker 02 I didn't ask the brand of the Hoover. You would be fine. Good. We have best anaesthesia. I'm out of love. It would be fine. But, um, like, so I don't know what's going on here, but somehow there's been a little carpool and you've offered to take me.
11:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, I've got the timing.
11:58 Speaker 03 Take you or?
11:59 Speaker 02 Well, no, pick me up.
12:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:00 Speaker 02 Okay. Chris Stark's offered to take me.
12:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:03 Speaker 02 Pick me up. Lee as, as well.
12:05 Speaker 03 Right. It doesn't need three.
12:05 Speaker 02 So I just want, I'm, I'm thinking this, for some reason, this is why I'm starky up. I'm just gonna set up WhatsApp group. You lot saw it out amongst yourselves.
12:11 Speaker 03 No, no, no. Sorry. No, no, no.
12:14 Speaker 02 Chris has gone mad. I'm just gonna put you all in a WhatsApp group today after this.
12:17 Speaker 03 No, no, you're not.
12:18 Speaker 02 You just saw it out. Okay?
12:20 Speaker 03 Well, Chris, Chris or Lee can do it then.
12:22 Speaker 02 I'm very lucky that you can genuinely.
12:23 Speaker 03 I will have to rearrange something to do it. So it's fine. And I will do it. That's why I just wanted to know the timings.
12:28 Speaker 02 Well, the thing is Wendy wants to come, but she can't drive.
12:30 Speaker 03 Well, you don't want her biggie, you want it.
12:32 Speaker 02 And I don't, the thought of having your teeth pulled out and your mum staying with you for two nights is, uh, yeah. I mean, I love it a bit.
12:38 Speaker 03 Can we say the joke that I did?
12:39 Speaker 02 Go on. Yeah, you can say.
12:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:42 Speaker 03 I said, well, I first of all, I said, well, which hospital am I coming to collect you from? And you said Harrow. And I said, well, that's ironic. That's how you'll be speaking after you've had the operation.
12:51 Speaker 02 Do it. Hello.
12:53 Speaker 03 Hello.
12:54 Speaker 02 Hello. Cause I was generally always like that. I meant to go for a walking weekend in Bath.
13:00 Speaker 03 Oh.
13:00 Speaker 02 After this. Don't, obviously, don't ask, but yeah.
13:04 Speaker 03 Right, I don't think you'd be up for it. Cause Zofia, you had your wisdom teeth taken out not that long ago. How, what was your recovery time until you felt normal?
13:12 Speaker 06 Uh, about a week.
13:13 Speaker 03 About a week.
13:14 Speaker 02 And did you go under anaesthetic?
13:16 Speaker 06 Yeah.
13:16 Speaker 02 Did you? And you had all four out?
13:18 Speaker 06 Just two.
13:20 Speaker 02 What, the bottom two?
13:21 Speaker 06 Yeah.
13:21 Speaker 02 So why is he taking, he said if you do, what you do to the bottom, you do to the top.
13:25 Speaker 03 It's always been my motto.
13:27 Speaker 02 That's what he said to me. If you've got to take bottoms out, you take the tops out. Anyway, I got that. Um, so yeah, also, um, I nearly got thrown out of a taxi this week.
13:38 Speaker 03 You nearly got thrown out of a taxi?
13:40 Speaker 02 Super embarrassing. Stuck in traffic.
13:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:43 Speaker 02 And I'm just like, listening to the, uh, podcasts. And then, I don't know if you've noticed, but the, the Capital Breakfast Show.
13:50 Speaker 03 Yes.
13:50 Speaker 02 Billboards are everywhere at the moment. Every few months, they go, like you're sitting and just says, Capital Breakfast and it's me, Chris and Sean. And I've not seen one out in the wild yet, the new ones, which I think look really just says breakfast big letters. So take a picture.
14:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:02 Speaker 02 Flash goes on, noise and everything. And the driver goes, why you take picture of me? You know, like, why you go so fast? And I was like, oh, I were trying to, I was trying to take a picture.
14:11 Speaker 03 It's not your surgeon driving you, is it?
14:12 Speaker 02 It was actually. He's, he's also an Uber driver at the weekend.
14:16 Speaker 03 That's a bit of confidence.
14:17 Speaker 02 Um, look, and then I was trying to explain to him. I was like, look, I'm taking a picture of me on billboard. Look at the picture I got. It was the next ad, New Balance Trainers. So it's the driver's side profile.
14:27 Speaker 03 Oh, that poor driver.
14:28 Speaker 02 Yeah. It was a driver's side profile and he was like, proper free, you can't just take pictures.
14:33 Speaker 03 Well, I'd say a flash could be very distracting.
14:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know.
14:36 Speaker 03 You could end up in a road traffic accident like Danielle.
14:38 Speaker 02 He was like, you can't just take pictures of me. Delete. I was like, no, no, no. I've not got like a fetish for Uber drivers. Like I just, I, I were trying to take it and they just, I nearly got thrown out and I really had to calm and talk him down.
14:51 Speaker 03 Oh.
14:51 Speaker 02 Yeah. Six and sevens. I had a midweek curry this week. What's that all about?
14:55 Speaker 03 A midweek curry?
14:56 Speaker 02 Who am I?
14:56 Speaker 03 What did you have?
14:57 Speaker 02 I had a curry.
14:58 Speaker 03 What?
14:59 Speaker 02 Lambrogan Josh.
15:01 Speaker 03 I was at school with him.
15:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:04 Speaker 02 Can you at least let me have my joke? Please, I don't give.
15:07 Speaker 03 But it's your best one.
15:08 Speaker 02 I know, but that's my joke. And lamb rogan josh.
15:11 Speaker 03 Yes.
15:12 Speaker 02 Uh, chicken tikka masala.
15:14 Speaker 03 You had, sorry, two proteins?
15:15 Speaker 02 Some, yeah, some rice.
15:16 Speaker 03 Good God.
15:17 Speaker 02 And I got it from.
15:19 Speaker 03 Got it from.
15:19 Speaker 02 And, and, and a roti.
15:22 Speaker 03 Roti.
15:23 Speaker 02 Roti.
15:23 Speaker 03 Roti. I know I mispronounce N A A N bread years ago.
15:27 Speaker 02 Apparently it's quite different to chapati.
15:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, I guess it is.
15:31 Speaker 02 It was, I, me having a midweek curry, who am I? I've always said this, you've got to be in mood for a curry. If we live together and I'm going out to work.
15:39 Speaker 03 You're right.
15:41 Speaker 03 You're just sort of into, this is a monologue occasionally interrupted by the occasional witticism from me.
15:46 Speaker 02 No, if you, we live together and I said, right, I'm off to work. And you said.
15:50 Speaker 03 We live together, we have separate bathrooms.
15:52 Speaker 02 You said to me, do you fancy a curry tonight? I'm like, God, no, you've got to be in mood for curry. Chinese pizza, yeah, sushi.
16:00 Speaker 03 Mike and I used to have an Indian takeaway on a Tuesday, because that's the day, uh, that we would always sort of do the proper clean. So thus it was really clean if we didn't want to clean the kitchen. That was, this is years ago. We then have it on a Tuesday, yeah. Like the big clean.
16:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:15 Speaker 03 Not the, not the everyday sprits.
16:16 Speaker 02 Okay.
16:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:17 Speaker 02 Right. But yeah, just a midweek, I find that weird. Curry's Saturday night for me.
16:21 Speaker 03 Oh, no.
16:22 Speaker 02 Or Friday. Definitely not a Sunday, it weighs heavy on you.
16:25 Speaker 03 No, Sunday is, is, is sort of roast or something like that.
16:28 Speaker 02 What else is going on?
16:30 Speaker 03 Well, we know my sofa. Oh, could we say shout out to Alice, who was organising the pub quiz? Who literally said to me, in fact, you had not arrived yet.
16:38 Speaker 02 Big Jean Diva.
16:39 Speaker 03 Yes. She said to me, William, can I just say? And she sort of took me to one side as if she was going to say something, you know, private or controversial or awkward. She went, I love your new sofa. And I said, Alice, can we have this exact conversation again in five minutes' time when Jordan's arrived?
16:57 Speaker 02 Fifty minutes later, when I did arrive, we had the conversation.
17:00 Speaker 03 We did. So to go with the sofa next to it, we need a lamp. And I ordered a lamp and.
17:06 Speaker 02 It's like doing the bloody podcast with Lawrence and Alan Bowen, whatever he's called.
17:10 Speaker 03 Lawrence and Alan Bowen.
17:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, I didn't, I don't like the lamp, it's too small. So I need a different lamp. I have found various different lamps, but these are the ones late last night, after dinner with Callum and Jack, that I found in a taxi. I had, we had had a bottle of wine. I think it's very nice. There are two of them, but I would only use one. What do you think to that?
17:35 Speaker 02 Jesus Christ, my anti-calf's got there.
17:37 Speaker 03 Well, don't, don't put it, don't put me off. Can you describe it?
17:40 Speaker 02 It's an ornament lamp. So it's like a little.
17:42 Speaker 03 It's porcelain figure.
17:43 Speaker 02 It's a porcelain.
17:44 Speaker 03 Of a shepherdess.
17:45 Speaker 02 It's a ballerina.
17:46 Speaker 03 It's a shepherdess.
17:47 Speaker 02 That's proper, that's not even grandma now, that's like great grandma vibes.
17:51 Speaker 03 Hmm.
17:53 Speaker 02 Are you sure you want that?
17:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, and if scroll, there's, there's an album there. You see, there are two. They come as a pair. There's a shepherd and a shepherdess.
18:00 Speaker 03 And I probably have a shepherdess because it's a bit camper.
18:02 Speaker 02 Each to their own. There's a little boy on one as well.
18:04 Speaker 03 Yes, a shepherd.
18:05 Speaker 02 Oh, have you seen these?
18:07 Speaker 03 I'll pop them in the WhatsApp group.
18:09 Speaker 02 Pop them in the WhatsApp. It's very like, it's very going to see your grandma.
18:13 Speaker 03 Yeah, but all of that is back in.
18:15 Speaker 02 No, it's, it's a bit of old and new that. My, who am I? I'm, I'm not the best with designs. I've, I've always said if it was me, I'd be, look, I'm crushed velvet and live laugh love and.
18:25 Speaker 03 Your house is full of that.
18:27 Speaker 02 And the signs. That I always said if it was my way. And I, I still think the best ever picture that anyone can have in the living room is those lads on being black and white, New York skyline, having the lunch. But three, three pictures in black and white.
18:44 Speaker 03 I'm actually going to buy you that.
18:46 Speaker 02 I think it's the best picture ever.
18:48 Speaker 03 I've just bought a new.
18:48 Speaker 02 My print study, actually.
18:50 Speaker 03 Piece of art for, I say art, it's a print from, uh, for the kitchen of.
18:55 Speaker 02 Ooh, it's a bit risky, isn't it? Putting prints in kitchen.
18:58 Speaker 03 No, I think you've got to have something. You've got stuff in your kitchen.
19:01 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
19:02 Speaker 03 Yeah. Um, but it's of Kenneth Williamson, Sid James on a tea break on a carry on set film.
19:06 Speaker 02 See, that's for black and white.
19:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's fun. Yeah.
19:10 Speaker 03 I thought, I saw it. I got, it was an Instagram ad.
19:13 Speaker 02 That's good.
19:14 Speaker 03 And I saw it and I went, yes, perfect for above the radiator.
19:17 Speaker 02 I've got, I.
19:18 Speaker 03 So radiators again, we're back there.
19:19 Speaker 02 I've got the, the commentary charts on.
19:22 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. Chris's business.
19:23 Speaker 02 Chris Stark's business. That's, that's my pride and joy.
19:26 Speaker 03 Waiting for him to get me one.
19:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:29 Speaker 03 Oh, Ben.
19:29 Speaker 05 Hi, guys. I feel like this episode, William, has just been your sort of, your bank statement that we've just gone through.
19:36 Speaker 03 My bank? Well, I haven't ordered the lamps yet, Ben, actually.
19:39 Speaker 05 Lamps, radiators, prints.
19:41 Speaker 02 Yeah. Your accountant will be listening to this and going mad at you.
19:44 Speaker 03 Well, I pay for it personally, so I'm allowed to.
19:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know, I'm saying you work hard.
19:48 Speaker 03 Sorry, sorry, no, but no accountant can criticise for what you buy personally.
19:52 Speaker 02 I'm sure you told me last time I went for a drink that your accountant told you to rein it in.
19:57 Speaker 03 No. I did once try to put a tiara through on the business, but it was, it was for teaching purposes. And I had, and I tweeted, this is years ago, I tweeted about it. I've just put a tiara through the business, can't wait for my accountant, and he commented.
20:10 Speaker 02 Oh, did he?
20:10 Speaker 03 Yeah. He said no. It was a fake tiara, I just want to point out.
20:14 Speaker 02 Why couldn't you put that through?
20:16 Speaker 03 Well, that's the thing, high heels for when we've done shows before, I have, I have put through. Because, you know, I'm not walking around generally in high heels, besides,
20:27 Speaker 03 you know, our live shows. Or teaching ladies how to walk in high heels, for those that know, or those who want to know, or people of any gender who want to know how to walk in high heels. Because you don't just have to be a quote unquote lady.
20:38 Speaker 02 Right, you're digging a hole now.
20:41 Speaker 03 I'll shut up.
20:41 Speaker 02 Yeah. Shall we go to a break and then we'll do your etiquetteology of the week?
20:46 Speaker 03 Yes, if you would like to, and continuing a theme, really. I'm going to talk to you about something that was illegal, but it didn't stop the people of Manchester from making it. And I'll tell you more after these messages.
20:59 Speaker 02 Oh, good, good tease.
21:01 Speaker 03 Thank you very much.
21:02 Speaker 02 Well done. Get you on the radio.
21:04 Speaker 03 Thank you very much. Here's One Direction.
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22:10 Speaker 01 Hi, everyone. It's Katie Couric. And on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households. Yet, many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long-term financial choices ahead. Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected, whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years, so its customers can keep theirs. Ask a financial professional about how Pacific Life
22:55 Speaker 01 can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.
23:11 Speaker 03 Right, welcome back to Undivis. Cue the jingle, please.
23:16 Speaker 04 It's William. William. The etiquette geek. His knowledge. Knowledge. Quite unique. He'll give you manners. Manners. A subtle tweak. It's time for William's Etiquette, Etymetique, Etymnology of the Week.
23:33 Speaker 03 Oi! Lovely. So, as I teased, something that was illegal but didn't stop the people of Manchester from making it. Well, we're talking about, inspired by the sofa and the lamp, chimps.
23:46 Speaker 02 What are they?
23:47 Speaker 03 Chintz. Chintzy things.
23:50 Speaker 02 What's that?
23:50 Speaker 03 Like chintz.
23:51 Speaker 02 Haberdashery?
23:52 Speaker 03 It can be haberdashery. Chintz, sort of floral.
23:55 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, you talked about it the other week.
23:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:58 Speaker 03 Thanks for listening.
23:58 Speaker 02 Go on.
23:59 Speaker 03 So it was derided by some as granny chic, such as Arjuna Divas. Chintz is actually, as I have insisted, especially now I've got some, making a comeback amongst so-called grand millennials. Hello. Who are embracing its maximal style with minimal care for what others think. Now, chintz has been around for centuries. It originates in 15th century India and the word chintz comes from the Hindi chint, meaning spotted or variegated, different colours. What?
24:29 Speaker 03 I'm giving you some etymology and etymology here. The earliest chintzes were hand painted onto cotton fabric and hand printing using carved wooden blocks that came along later. So these were all hand painted, so it was very technical. Now, because it was so highly priced, it was highly prized as well. It was exported worldwide and it became so popular and fashionable in high society that many European silk weavers became concerned about their own trade. And so importing chintz was made illegal in France in 1686 and in Britain in 1720 because it was going to put the British and the French silk weavers out of business.
25:08 Speaker 03 Cue your favourite time period, the Victorians, and it was the Industrial Revolution that revolutionised chintz. Cotton production centred on Manchester, where we met, made the product cheaper and more accessible. And by the mid 19th century, Manchester was the world centre of cotton production, as we know, known as cottonopolis unofficially. So rather than laborious hand printing used in India, European chintz was printed from engraved copper rollers.
25:33 Speaker 02 Oh.
25:34 Speaker 03 And later screen prints. So it became even more fashionable again and not illegal, as long as it was British. So by the 20th century, chintz much cheaper, more widespread, until what happened? What big department, well, not department store, what?
25:50 Speaker 02 John Lewis?
25:50 Speaker 03 No.
25:51 Speaker 02 Debenhams?
25:52 Speaker 03 No.
25:52 Speaker 02 M&S?
25:53 Speaker 03 Think blue. What happened? What store, popular European store, opened across the world?
25:59 Speaker 02 Leyland. No, no, don't tell me, it'll bug me.
26:05 Speaker 03 There's one on, um.
26:08 Speaker 02 Robert Dias?
26:09 Speaker 03 No.
26:10 Speaker 02 W H Smith?
26:11 Speaker 03 No, European.
26:14 Speaker 03 Swedish.
26:14 Speaker 02 IKEA.
26:15 Speaker 03 Thank you very much. We got there on the end. So, there was an advert in 1996. We're gonna watch it now. IKEA told the world to chuck out their chints. It's a fun ad, even though I disagree with it.
26:28 Speaker 02 I think I remember this.
26:29 Speaker 03 Hmm.
26:36 Speaker 02 See, that is old fashioned.
26:40 Speaker 03 Safe as a girly.
26:43 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
26:44 Speaker 03 Throw that down.
26:45 Speaker 02 It's weird how stuff comes back in, isn't it? Because that's all back in now.
26:55 Speaker 02 Rimage?
26:57 Speaker 03 Now you're interested.
27:03 Speaker 03 How bland that looks.
27:04 Speaker 02 Well, that's just very European, isn't it?
27:06 Speaker 03 Looks like the GMTV opening titles from the Nazis.
27:13 Speaker 03 I mean, slightly problematic advert because it's only women.
27:16 Speaker 02 It's weird how that's all back in now, isn't it?
27:20 Speaker 03 Chintzy?
27:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, you are right.
27:25 Speaker 03 Just chuck the door away.
27:30 Speaker 02 So you're a trendsetter?
27:32 Speaker 03 So there we go, in today's world where the design savvy are rejecting fast fashion and minimalism, chints is making a comeback among the cognoscenti. So chints is cool again, but are you brave enough to embrace it?
27:43 Speaker 02 There you go.
27:44 Speaker 03 I am.
27:45 Speaker 02 Jordan's Jolly Joke of the Week's back next week, so that's what we do.
27:49 Speaker 03 Right.
27:50 Speaker 02 We all, no, I'm just saying we all today.
27:53 Speaker 03 Highlight of my week. I was told on a YouTube comment this week that I should stop being mean about your Jolly Joke of the Week because I'm killing it, apparently.
28:00 Speaker 02 No.
28:02 Speaker 03 No, you're not being me.
28:03 Speaker 02 No. You're just being you.
28:04 Speaker 03 Exactly. Thank you. There's a difference.
28:07 Speaker 02 Sorry if I sound snotty, G D V S. No, it's time.
28:10 Speaker 03 Welcome to my world.
28:12 Speaker 02 Now it's time for your questions and dilemmas. Remember, if you need our help with something, then get in touch. You can send your tales of trepidation to [email protected] . You can DM us, we're at Sex of My Boss on the socials, or you can write to William, who in the fullness of time, promises a handwritten reply and one of our luxury greeting cards of executive cell seal envelopes. The address is on the website, sexofmyboss.com.
28:34 Speaker 03 Lovely. Our first dilemma is from anonymous. "Hi, boys. A quick classy or common conundrum for you. My boyfriend's friends have recently announced that they're getting married in London on New Year's Eve. Is it classy to have all your friends and family celebrating your marriage on New Year's Eve? Or is it making one of the biggest party nights of the year all about you and therefore common? Not to mention trying to get home from central London late at night when taxes are already tripled in price. Love the show. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts."
28:58 Speaker 02 I would never personally get married on a big day.
29:02 Speaker 03 Christmas or?
29:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, especially around Christmas because everyone's skin.
29:07 Speaker 02 But New Year's Eve is a bit overrated anyway, I think.
29:09 Speaker 03 I would agree.
29:10 Speaker 02 So if, apart from the taxes, if it's going to cost you a fortune on taxes, maybe just be thinking about getting a gift. I'm sure they'd understand. Or gift in money. But I don't think, I think you could get married on worse days than New Year's Eve. I do.
29:27 Speaker 03 I want to know why, why they've picked New Year's Eve. Because I would also say a lot of venues would probably be more expensive on New Year's Eve. Because a lot of hotels or wedding venues will probably do with some sort of New Year's Eve party.
29:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's true.
29:39 Speaker 03 So to then do a private hire.
29:41 Speaker 02 You've got the money.
29:42 Speaker 03 They're going to have to at least match what they would get on New Year's Eve. Unless it's got some significance sentimentally to them.
29:50 Speaker 02 Have we talked about this before?
29:51 Speaker 03 Hmm, I don't know.
29:53 Speaker 02 Getting married on a Friday, I get it.
29:55 Speaker 03 Yes, that's what we did.
29:56 Speaker 02 Okay, yeah, fine. Booking one day off work, fine. Getting married on a Saturday, fine. I don't think you should be able to get married on a Thursday.
30:05 Speaker 03 On a Thursday?
30:06 Speaker 02 I wouldn't personally, I get, and if you're listening now and that's you, I get it's a lot cheaper. That means people have got to book two days off work.
30:13 Speaker 03 Or you don't really want them to come.
30:16 Speaker 02 Two days off work is a big ask. One day.
30:18 Speaker 03 Why have they got to book two?
30:20 Speaker 02 Because the day after, you don't want them going in and hanging out your arse, do you?
30:23 Speaker 03 You don't have to get pissed at a wedding.
30:25 Speaker 02 Shoot, yeah, you do. What else are you going to do?
30:28 Speaker 03 Okay, so no Thursdays and no New Year's Eve. However, look, anon, if they've put it on New Year's Eve, whether you like it or not, whether it's classy or common, if you want to go, go. If you don't want to go. Don't go home.
30:39 Speaker 02 Black tie is very much in as well. It'd be nice to be a black tie on New Year's Eve.
30:43 Speaker 03 Well, particularly if it's an evening event. I would say black tie is an evening only dress code generally, so I wouldn't wear a black tie in the middle of the day. Personally.
30:50 Speaker 05 My, my theory for New Year's is that you should never do the same thing again. Like, there's so many things, it's like, you have traditions attached that you do like the same thing each year. Every year you should try to do something different to New Year's Eve. That's what I'm gonna do.
31:03 Speaker 02 Well, what did you do this New Year?
31:05 Speaker 05 I was just with Kat. Thanks.
31:06 Speaker 03 Oh.
31:07 Speaker 02 And what did you do the New Year before?
31:09 Speaker 05 I was at a wedding.
31:09 Speaker 03 He was at a wedding, I knew. I was waiting for a.
31:11 Speaker 02 So what are you gonna do this New Year?
31:13 Speaker 05 Well, it's my oyster. I'm gonna do something different.
31:17 Speaker 03 To be fair, having said that New Year's Eve is overrated, I've had some very nice New Year's Eves. One of them was with you years, a couple of years ago.
31:25 Speaker 02 Shit, yeah, we did, didn't we?
31:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, in your old place.
31:27 Speaker 02 Kitchen party, didn't we?
31:28 Speaker 03 Kitchen party, yes. Um, this year we had a lovely dinner with some friends.
31:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's when I put Sharon in taxi. And I went, she was bloody bladdered. She was pregnant, she was ten drinking.
31:41 Speaker 02 Do you not remember? I put her in taxi. Well, she was pissed out of her head there. Why, she's been yakking all night.
31:48 Speaker 03 Just you.
31:49 Speaker 02 Couldn't get a word in edgeway. Put her in a taxi. Two weeks later, she was like, I'm pregnant. I was like, oh God, I thought you were pissed at me.
31:57 Speaker 03 Um, our next dilemma is from Charlie, Dear William Jordan and the Sexted Team. I'm contacting you with a query that has come about in conversation between my girlfriend and me. We both work in hospitality and regularly answer the phone to customers in order to date bookings and organise reservations. I insist on answering the restaurant phone by starting the conversation with, good afternoon, insert restaurant name, how may I help you? Or how can I help you? And we'll discuss that in a minute. However, my girlfriend never includes the, how can I help? Leaving me with the assumption that she is almost always met with an awkward silence, as the caller must already know where they are calling. So my question is this, what is the correct etiquette for starting a telephone conversation and addressing customers about the restaurant's services? P S, I cannot wait to see you in Manchester. Kind regards, Charlie.
32:40 Speaker 02 Nice one, Charlie. All right, let's, let's, uh, okay, so it'd be, good afternoon, Sexted Restaurant, how can I help you? Good afternoon, Sexed Restaurant. Either works for me.
32:51 Speaker 03 I would say, yeah, either time.
32:52 Speaker 02 I won't be bothered. I wouldn't think, oh.
32:54 Speaker 03 Just from a grammar point of view, how can I help you? I would say it should be how may I help you?
32:58 Speaker 02 Oh.
32:59 Speaker 03 Because of course you can.
33:00 Speaker 02 Okay.
33:01 Speaker 03 How may I help you?
33:01 Speaker 02 Good afternoon, Sexed Restaurant. How may I help you?
33:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:05 Speaker 02 Good afternoon, you're three to five live. How can I help? I can still remember that.
33:08 Speaker 03 How can I help you?
33:09 Speaker 02 How may I help you?
33:10 Speaker 03 You're running a helpline.
33:11 Speaker 02 Good afternoon, you're three to five live.
33:12 Speaker 03 It was basically.
33:13 Speaker 02 May I take your number, please? And what point would you like to make on air today? That's what I was going to say. Tag it in. All right. Yeah.
33:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, I would say you're both right. Um, I actually probably, sorry, Charlie, please keep your tickets. I probably side with your girlfriend. I'd probably go, good afternoon, El Bottolino's.
33:34 Speaker 03 For example.
33:34 Speaker 02 How do you answer the phone if it's not someone you know?
33:37 Speaker 03 Well, this is in the day of caller ID, domestic phones and mobile phones, caller ID, it's nine times out of 10, you know who it is. So you just go, hello darling, or, you know.
33:46 Speaker 02 Hiya.
33:47 Speaker 03 Whatever, if it's your accountant or, you know, hello, Jordan, that sort of thing.
33:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:50 Speaker 03 Um.
33:51 Speaker 02 Do you say if it's an accountant, they were called John, you say, hello, John?
33:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, I usually use their name.
33:56 Speaker 02 Okay.
33:57 Speaker 03 Uh, or if I don't know, I'll go, hello, William Hanson.
33:59 Speaker 02 You do, actually, yeah.
34:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:01 Speaker 02 How, so I go, hello, Jordan's speaking.
34:04 Speaker 03 You could say, hello, Jordan's speaking. Granny, late granny told me that I should, this is before caller ID. So we didn't know who anyone was that was phoning. Is hello, who's speaking, please? As a child, I would answer the phone. I had arguments with my parents because aged eight, I wanted to re-record that answer phone message. So it was me that spoke because I insisted I had a better voice. They said no. Calls great hard.
34:25 Speaker 02 Hello, who's speaking, please?
34:26 Speaker 03 People would used to say the phone number as well when they pick up the phone. Mayfair four two nine. Oh, four sixteen. Yeah. Well, Victor Meldrew, Monford in the Grave, four two nine one, when he picks up the, picks up the dog. You know, when he goes down and this is the dog, not the receiver. You know, the cliff of meaning, yeah. Four two nine one. It's great. How would Doris and Edith pick up the phone? Oh, no. Dor- Whatever phone they've got, they've got very big buttons.
34:51 Speaker 02 Is Doris and Edith there?
34:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:54 Speaker 02 Hello? How would they do it? You ring me?
34:58 Speaker 03 I, was I Doris or Edith?
34:59 Speaker 02 Who was I? Uh, I'll be.
35:03 Speaker 03 We can't remember. Neither can they.
35:05 Speaker 02 I was Doris, was I? Hello? Turn that telly down. Hello?
35:14 Speaker 02 Who's this? Hello? Hello? I can't bloody hear anything, can I?
35:21 Speaker 05 Edith's not saying anything.
35:22 Speaker 02 Is it your Edith? Are you, have you, are you all right, love? Are you all right, love?
35:31 Speaker 03 Edith's got the receiver round the wrong way, that's why you can't hear anything.
35:33 Speaker 02 Edith, you're using your glasses case again. Pick receiver up. Edith? Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna go, Chase is on. All right. I'll pot round later. Edith? She'll be bloody dead. I'll go round after Chase, I'm not missing this, it's my favourite.
35:55 Speaker 05 That'd be beautiful.
35:56 Speaker 02 Hey, old people and programmes, they won't miss it for old, will they?
35:59 Speaker 03 No, they won't, no.
36:00 Speaker 02 God, no.
36:01 Speaker 03 Glued to it.
36:01 Speaker 02 There's a really funny, really funny moment in Royal Family.
36:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:05 Speaker 02 Where Denise announces she's pregnant.
36:08 Speaker 03 Hmm.
36:08 Speaker 02 And it's a beautiful scene, because Barbara, because she's, Barbara likes her fag up. She goes, "No, I'm all right." And she has to tell her she's pregnant, because she don't want a fag, it's beautiful. And Barbara starts going, really well scripted, beautifully acted. She goes, "Oh, I'm gonna ring me mum." She rings her mum, she goes, "Hiya, mum, got some news here." And she goes, "Oh, all right then, yeah." And she says, "Can you ring her back after coronation?" Looks like my grandma.
36:33 Speaker 03 Lovely, this one is from Adam. "Hi, William, Jordan, EPB and the rest of the Sexed Team. I'm a longstanding admirer of the podcast, which continues to bring both refinement and good humour to my daily commute. I have often considered writing in, but the right moment never quite appeared until now."
36:47 Speaker 02 When it does get in touch.
36:49 Speaker 03 Oh, I've just piqued, piqued my interest on this letter. "Last week, on your excellent recommendation, my brother and I attended a performance of Mary Poppins, which was, in every respect, practically perfect. Before the show even began, the front of house team politely reminded the audience to decamp their sweet bags." Lovely, this would be Liverpool, because they finished at Liverpool Empire. "I experienced a quiet moment of pride, as though William himself was seated beside me, offering a discreet nod of approval. The evening did, however, raise a point of etiquette on which I would appreciate some clarity. Throughout several musical numbers, a number of audience members began clapping in time with the music, almost as soon as each song began. Rather than enhancing the atmosphere, it seemed to interrupt the immersion and, at times, felt more like an act of collective obligation than something genuinely welcome."
37:33 Speaker 02 That does go a bit too much, the clapping.
37:35 Speaker 03 I fully understand that certain songs naturally invite participation and I apologise if I am mistaken in my view, but is rhythmic clapping genuinely considered appropriate for every number? Much of it appeared to be solidarity for its own sake, as though no-one wished to be the lone chimney sweep out of step. I should confess that I did join in during Supercow, as I felt a moral obligation to do so. However, given that William has now seen the production at least forty-four times, forty-five, I feel he is the most qualified person to revise on the correct etiquette. After all, if anyone knows how to keep things spick and span, it is surely him. What in your view is the proper conduct in such situations? Can't wait to see both in Manchester. Adam?
38:13 Speaker 02 Why did Adam take his brother and not his girlfriend?
38:16 Speaker 03 Who knows? Who knows?
38:19 Speaker 02 Only one in your pattern.
38:21 Speaker 03 Maybe she was busy. Me may actually have one, you little bitch.
38:24 Speaker 02 You're using my jokes, I'm using yours. Rolls reversal today. This is definitely over to you. Never need a reason, never need a time.
38:34 Speaker 03 Kick your knees up, step in time. No, but...
38:37 Speaker 02 I can't clap in time, I'm not really... Kick your knees up, step in time.
38:43 Speaker 03 Step in time!
38:44 Speaker 02 Never be a reason, never be a time.
38:46 Speaker 03 It's a waste one.
38:48 Speaker 02 Last clap.
38:51 Speaker 03 I, um...
38:53 Speaker 02 What? Did you ever do last clap at school?
38:57 Speaker 03 No.
38:58 Speaker 02 And then you'd be like, "Stop that!" And you'd be like, "Shit."
39:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, with pop-ins, the bit they encourage you to clap is the reprise of Supercow, whether the cloth drops down and they do it in front of the letter cloth, that would be fine. In fact, they encourage it. But no, when a song starts, you don't start clapping. Absolutely not. Just sit and enjoy.
39:23 Speaker 02 So, yeah, less clapping.
39:24 Speaker 03 Less clapping. Clap at the end of songs?
39:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, but not all the way through.
39:28 Speaker 03 But not through?
39:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:30 Speaker 03 Because, again, you're distracting. It's meant to be escapism.
39:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's too much clapping. It makes me nervous. That's why I'm worried about Asha. I don't like when they get you up on your feet and that all the time. You're just like, no, you, we're paying you.
39:42 Speaker 03 Well, we're not getting people up on their feet.
39:44 Speaker 02 No, I'm just saying, some, like, sometimes, like, you go to shows and they make you get up.
39:49 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
39:49 Speaker 02 All the time. You're like, I'm all right here.
39:52 Speaker 03 Well, that's why I like the Palladium Panda, because you don't have to stand up. Whereas if you go to a different-
39:55 Speaker 02 They had you up and down like a bridesnight, are they there? If I remember correctly.
39:58 Speaker 03 No, they don't. They absolutely don't. Whereas other pantos, yeah, you do get up. They come out with water cannons. There's a whole thing. None of that at the Palladium.
40:07 Speaker 02 These costumes are... Had it my way. We could have got them off Amazon, right? I'm just, I want that, I want that to go on recording and to go on record. Because when the invoice comes through from Ben, right, you're gonna hit the roof. Okay. I know we took the big out of him, but he's the exec producer of this. And, um, when you see the invoices for this, we've had, he's had, he's had a fitting today. Three fittings.
40:31 Speaker 03 I've been to somewhere called Walthamstow. Do you know where that is?
40:33 Speaker 02 When he sees the, when he sees the invoice for that, he's gonna go mad. And I-
40:38 Speaker 05 You should see me when I'm mad.
40:40 Speaker 02 I'm gonna, I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna put it in perspective. When they came to my house that time, when I,
40:45 Speaker 03 Oh, God.
40:45 Speaker 02 When I text him and said, is this absolutely necessary?
40:47 Speaker 03 Jess brought you flowers?
40:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, she's lovely. I love Jess. I said, is this absolutely necessary? It wasn't, right?
40:52 Speaker 03 It was.
40:53 Speaker 02 They brought me and I went, this is fine. And then I was informed, oh no, that's just the costume of the costume.
40:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:01 Speaker 02 I'm not getting involved. I, I could have got it. I say I could have got it off Amazon. We've actually done a great job and it, it looks so-
41:06 Speaker 03 It fits you.
41:07 Speaker 02 I look like an hourglass. And honestly, you, you're gonna want, I'm, I don't mean to be rude, but you're all gonna wanna shag me in it. It's so good.
41:13 Speaker 03 Wow.
41:14 Speaker 02 Honestly, but I could have got it off Amazon.
41:17 Speaker 03 I'll be honest with your costume. We did look on Amazon, but we couldn't find a costume small enough.
41:21 Speaker 02 Small enough?
41:22 Speaker 03 Hmm.
41:22 Speaker 02 Really?
41:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, for your size. So we, for your height, if you were a bit taller, it would have fitted you. So we had to have, have it made.
41:29 Speaker 02 Anyway, just gonna put that on record.
41:31 Speaker 03 I was walking around an industrial destination, Walthamstow, at nine o'clock this morning, and I passed a, a unit called Next Stamper. And I was there in my long lovely coat and my little, little tote bag. I've never felt more conspicuous in my life.
41:44 Speaker 02 Great.
41:45 Speaker 03 Thought I was going to die.
41:46 Speaker 02 She was going all over the problem.
41:47 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, sorry.
41:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:49 Speaker 03 This is from, oh, the Paranoid Pandemic.
41:53 Speaker 02 Paramedic.
41:54 Speaker 03 Yes.
41:57 Speaker 03 I don't, I've had about four sips of GND and I can't read today. Dear William and Jordan and the Sexton team, very long time listener but first time writer in are here. I have an embarrassing work dilemma and be very grateful for your advice. For context, I am a paramedic who only works nights. I definitely work more than I should as I'm trying to save for a house and recently my health has taken a bit of a hit. In an attempt to look after my own health and not become such a hypocrite, I have started taking daily vitamins. Now, I know vitamins are meant to be taken with food, however, when rushing out of the door for a 12 to 15 hour shift, food is not always feasible. So occasionally, I pop the vitamins in my pocket and take later when I finally get the chance to have
42:37 Speaker 03 a snack between jobs. Here is when my life took a turn. On a job the other day while crouched down in a patient's house and attending to them on the floor, I became aware of a deeply pungent smell emanating from below my waist. The only way I can describe it, it was like a fishmonger's apron left in the sun. Aggressive, unmistakable, spiritually damaging. Now, I've never had any previous issues with the scent of my poof, but I have heard the horror stories about thrush and BV and I could not deny this was noticeable, not just to me but to my crewmate and to my patient, as I was crouched directly next to their head. I was absolutely mortified and if I could smell it through a sinus infection, I dread to think what everyone else experienced. Upon returning to base
43:21 Speaker 03 and conducting what can only be described as a thorough forensic investigation, I discovered the culprit was not me at all but a cod liver oil vitamin that had exploded in my trouser pocket, presumably when I crouched and the fabric went tight. So it wasn't a fishy fanny?
43:35 Speaker 03 No. That was my excuse. So my dilemma is this. Is it more socially acceptable to address this with my colleague and clarify that I do not in fact have a fishy fanny? Or is it more dignified to say nothing and simply allow him to form his own deeply incorrect conclusions about my personal hygiene for the remainder of my care? Career.
43:57 Speaker 03 I am keen to preserve both my professional reputation and my dignity. If either can still be salvaged, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Kind regards, anonymous. P.S. Like William, I too eat nothing that comes from the sea.
44:08 Speaker 02 Well, I, uh, I think-
44:10 Speaker 03 Just gonna have some water.
44:11 Speaker 02 I think at the time, you should have said, oh, bloody, sorry if you can smell that. It's a cod liver oil tablet. And it would have, at the time, it's probably past now.
44:18 Speaker 03 But she didn't know at the time.
44:19 Speaker 02 Oh, I would have just said, um, depends how close you know your colleagues. It's a funny story. I said, you know, the other day, do you think I had a fishy fanny? And he might say, or she, I did actually.
44:33 Speaker 02 When we were like doing CPR on that lady.
44:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
44:37 Speaker 02 Edith.
44:37 Speaker 03 Doris.
44:41 Speaker 03 That's why she didn't answer the phone.
44:42 Speaker 02 Edith had left her to die during chase. But I would just bring it up and tell that story or just let it pass. But you should have said it, yeah. You've let it pass, I'd say.
44:50 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah.
44:52 Speaker 02 Unless it's playing on your mind, just say, because, you know, ambulance drivers. Oh, God, don't call them that. Paramedics.
44:57 Speaker 03 Hmm.
44:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, paramedics.
44:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
44:59 Speaker 02 Got a lot of time in that.
45:01 Speaker 03 Or you just go, are you any good with laundry? Do you know how you can get cod liver oil out of trousers? Because my thing exploded the other day and it stained the pockets.
45:10 Speaker 02 Great.
45:11 Speaker 03 That's what you could say.
45:12 Speaker 02 Yeah. Great. Great.
45:14 Speaker 03 That's what you could do.
45:15 Speaker 02 There you go.
45:16 Speaker 03 That would be my suggestion.
45:17 Speaker 02 That's rea- you are good.
45:18 Speaker 03 Oh, I try.
45:19 Speaker 02 You are good.
45:20 Speaker 03 In amongst drinking.
45:21 Speaker 02 Very good.
45:22 Speaker 03 Our final dilemma is from Iz. Longtime fan, first time writer. As a straight woman, my favourite pastime is looking at which of my past, present and future situationships has viewed my Instagram story and the speed at which they do it.
45:40 Speaker 02 Is this you?
45:42 Speaker 03 What can I say? It gives me the adrenaline kick I need to get me through the day whilst I'm meant to be working. One of my ex-tings is Blue Tick. Undeserved in my opinion, but it's easy to spot on the list. I had noticed that he, being a usual five to 10 minute viewer, had gone a bit missing in absence.
46:01 Speaker 02 I'm going, you can see how long people watch your videos for.
46:04 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no. But I think what this anonymous person is saying is that when they post a story, they are then spending time within the first five to 10 minutes seeing who was super keen to see it. Because I think how the algorithm works is it sort of the stories that you want to see or the accounts that you see more often are first on the list. I found this strange and the doubt creeped in that he had unfollowed. Might I add, he liked my story a mere two weeks ago. We've not spoken directly since then. I did some digging and noticed the cheeky fucker had in fact unfollowed me, but didn't remove me as a follower. So my question is this, if you unfollow someone
46:46 Speaker 03 on Instagram, should you remove them as a follower? That feels like the courteous thing to do. Or should be assumed that if they are still following you, they want to consume their content and you should allow them that right, even if you followed them? Any advice welcome. Do I unfollow him or do I be the bigger person? Lots of love. Is. I wonder who that can be from.
47:05 Speaker 02 I wonder who that could be. Now, when I was first, I've heard about something similar recently.
47:09 Speaker 03 Alan Turing here, trying to crack the code.
47:12 Speaker 02 I was like, just get over it. But apparently to Gen Zs, this is a big thing. Because I've spoken to other Gen Zs about it in another workplace. They've been, oh my God, he unfollowed her. I'm like, it's like.
47:22 Speaker 03 You see, I don't check.
47:23 Speaker 02 What are we gonna go and play knock a door run next, grow up? Like, just get over it. It's an unfollow. And if you feel like it.
47:31 Speaker 03 Also, if they're a blue tick account, may not even be them that runs it.
47:34 Speaker 02 If someone unfollows you, unfollow them back.
47:36 Speaker 03 Yeah. But I don't think you can, if I, let's say I unfollowed someone.
47:40 Speaker 02 There's a lot going on in life.
47:42 Speaker 03 There is, but there are worse things that happen at Z. So if I unfollowed someone, I wouldn't then make them, remove them as a follower of me. I think, I can't, you can't do that.
47:54 Speaker 02 Well, I would. But if you wanna, if you wanna show the higher ground, just unfollow him. It's really effective.
48:00 Speaker 03 No, because then it shows that you've noticed.
48:02 Speaker 02 Remember when I unfollowed you? Oh no, I didn't follow you on TikTok for ages, did I?
48:05 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. That's whatever. Many others do.
48:09 Speaker 02 Three million, I believe.
48:10 Speaker 03 Point one.
48:11 Speaker 02 Oh, shit.
48:13 Speaker 03 Jordan's chair just dropped again. You okay?
48:18 Speaker 02 Have I gone up? More or less.
48:22 Speaker 02 Don't need all the height I can next to you. All right, I would personally get over it. Get mad, get over it. That's my advice. Yeah, I would say that, yeah. Yeah, move on. But I wouldn't unfollow them. Be the bigger person. Thank you for your questions and dilemmas. Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday, Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. And you can watch on YouTube. You can even watch on YouTube as well. We put the full episodes up on every release day. Just head to YouTube and search for Sexton. We'll see you on Friday. Goodbye.
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