Help I Hooked Up With Her Dad | And Halloween Dress Codes

After Jordan proclaims to have discovered ‘sound bars’, William has a revelation of his own to admit that will, for once, have us asking - “Has he changed?” The boys also tackle your dilemmas on finding nits in your beard and how to tell your coworker you’ve been naughty with their dad. -- Want more Sexted in your life? Join Help I Sexted My Boss Out Of Office for exclusive episodes every WEDNESDAY on Patreon! Just head to sextedmyboss.com/patreon -- Want MORE Help I Sexted My Boss?: https://sextedmyboss.komi.io/ -- FOLLOW Jordan North Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordannorth1 William Hanson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/williamhansonetiquette TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@williamhansonetiquette If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:04Speaker 01

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• 1:46Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to Help I Sexted My Boss, a podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life, answering your 21st century questions and finding solutions to everyday dilemmas like, how do you cope when your favorite TV show has the worst ending imaginable?

• 2:05Speaker 03

  I mean, not our favorite TV show. I mean, we enjoyed it. Wasn't our favorite television show.

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Talking about the shards, it was really good. Or, how do you exit a room when you find out your one-night-stand has invited an old man to watch?

• 2:21Speaker 03

  Say, Stuart, would you just mind stepping out?

• 2:25Speaker 02

  And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss? But we're not your usual agony hands, are we? William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  No, we're not. Jordan North, I'm more digestive, you're more digestive problems. That's from Sarah.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  I mean, nail on the head.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  Oh, have you got some gastroenteritis problems?

• 2:43Speaker 02

  I had a curry the other night.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  What did you order?

• 2:47Speaker 02

  And it kept me up. To be fair, it was three days after I ordered it.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Well, you ate it three days after you ordered it?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Because I had some leftovers. I always order the same, sagaloo. No, paneer, sag paneer.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, nice.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Chicken tikka masala.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Beef madras, no, lamb madras. I got another chicken one, rice, didn't do chips, garlic naan, plain naan. And there was another one I got.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  Gosh, pull that ripcord. You don't.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then, but then I had corned beef hash. Oh, my name's Ash. Go on, give us a big one. Keep going, keep going.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  All right, that'll do. I made corned beef hash on Sunday night. I'll show a picture. It was a little overdone for my liking.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Okay. How can you overdo corned beef hash?

• 3:33Speaker 02

  It kept me up all night. Honestly, it laid heavy on me for two days.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  I need to get back up north, Jordan South there, struggling with corned beef hash.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Now, I'm, be honest.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  I'll show you a picture of it.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  I'm pouring the gin and devonae. This is literally the last of the devonae. And.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  Ever?

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Well, potentially, I mean, there's that much left now in the bottle, literally half an inch. And this had to be rummaged around from somewhere in the studio. And I did say to Ben, no D, no me. If we're not doing this episode. Oh.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Hi, guys.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  Hello, Ben.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Hi, Ben. Looks just a tad overdone. It was a, yeah.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Were you hosting?

• 4:09Speaker 02

  No, the third plate's for leftovers.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  What?

• 4:14Speaker 02

  What?

• 4:14Speaker 03

  You're not keep it in the pan?

• 4:16Speaker 02

  No, you put it in a plate and then you can put the plate in the fridge. Not put the pan in the fridge, do I?

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Oh, I see. Or Tupperware? Do you cover, do you cover that plate, though, when it goes into the fridge?

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, with your Rapmaster 3000.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Oh, good, you are using it.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  You use that. I absolutely, do you know what? I'm back in love with it now. Because once I fixed it.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Never used mine.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  I just didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing. For about 18 months, I've been way into it, but I just didn't want to give him the pleasure.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Changes your life. And then I refuse to use cling film in anyone else's house, unless they have a Rapmaster.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  They make very good gifts, everyone. Anyway, this week's toast goes out to Glenn via Brenton, who messaged in to say, I'd love to send a toast to my friend Glenn, who's binge-listening to you guys while recovering from open-heart surgery. He went through it with amazing courage, strength, and humor. No U, so I'm suspecting they're American. Please don't be too funny, he'll pop a stitch. Won't be a problem.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  That'll be all right.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  I'm during a holiday, so it's fine.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Thank you, Brenton. So Glenn, this is to you.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Glenton.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  No. Glenn, from Brenton. Not Glenton, that's if they've, you know.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Who's Brenton?

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Brenton's the friend, Glenn's the one who's had his chest cut open.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Oh, so he's not in a place called Brenton?

• 5:27Speaker 03

  No. Well, no, it sounds, it does sound like a town, but in America, they have funny names.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Also, just going back to that digestive.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Oh, it's not the biscuit. I was going to say, I had one the other day. Worst biscuits ever digested.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  They're boring.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  They're just like cardboard.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  What's the point?

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Not like the chocolate ones, love. Even a plain hobnob, love. Don't have to be a chocolate hobnob, but digestive.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Was it you that was asking me the other day, how do you eat your chocolate hobnob? Biscuit side up or chocolate side up?

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Definitely wasn't me. I have more chat than that.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  Might have been me.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  It's, I thought that was what you do on radio.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  What?

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Biscuit.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  No, we don't. Which way up do you eat your biscuits?

• 6:04Speaker 03

  Throw it in on BBC Radio Shropshire.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Do you know what? That's a good idea. So let me write that one down. How's your week been? How's LA?

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Well.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  How were the burgers and lettuce? Didn't you have burger lettuceers and sushi and stuff?

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Well, I'll come on to what I ate. Let's talk first about Wisteria Lane. Did I go down it? The fourth time attempting to go down Wisteria Lane on the Universal Studios Backlot Tour.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Which one was Wisteria Lane again?

• 6:30Speaker 03

  Desperate Housewives.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Desperate Housewives, yeah.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  So it's technically, it's a house, it's just a generic street that they had to replicate American houses that they then took over for Desperate Housewives. It's called Colonial Street is the official name of the street. Did I go down Wisteria Lane? No.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Fourth effing time.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Why?

• 6:50Speaker 03

  I was livid.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  Why?

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Because they were setting up, because they're using the street for something called The Burbs, which is a show I will not be watching.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  So you've still not been down it?

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Still not down it. I have sat through that King Kong simulator numerous times. I've done the fake jaws thing, anyone that's done it.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Sounds like a clone of Willie, don't it?

• 7:09Speaker 03

  What?

• 7:10Speaker 02

  The King Kong simulator, oh, not the stimulator, isn't it?

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  Oof, that'd be a good one, wouldn't it?

• 7:17Speaker 03

  Yeah. King Kong stimulator. Hmm, don't type that in on a workshop shop.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was not very happy.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  But other than that, how was the trip?

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Other than that, LA was lovely. Weather was a bit dodged to begin with. It wasn't very LA, but it was glorious on the day we left.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  You know, they have the same climate as Spain.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  Do they? You like LA, you haven't done LA, have you?

• 7:39Speaker 02

  It's the similar climate, the similar summers, similar winters, that kind of. Yeah, I've never been to LA.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  No, I mean, it's slightly solace. It's a little bit like Milton Keynes with sunshine.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  I know people are very defensive of Milton Keynes. Normally, people live in Milton Keynes. But it's sort of like Milton Keynes in the sun. It's prettier than Milton Keynes because you've got the hills and various different terrains, and you've got Malibu and Santa Monica, which is gorgeous. My new favorite thing, and you probably, I think, I think we've talked about this before years ago, but I've now done them. In fact, I refuse to get in anything other than one of these driverless cars.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  No. Have you been in one?

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Have I been in one? I must have been in 20.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Oh, no. Oh, I wouldn't. Also, think of the people that's putting out work.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  Well, I'll be honest, I came back from LA and I went to go and interview Gillian Clary, it went very well, at Women and Book Festival. And I was driving back in an Uber and on the phone to my parents just to catch up with them. And I was like, well, driverless cars, they're the way forward, they're fantastic. And then I realized that the Uber driver was listening. And I felt terrible. I tipped him very handsomely at the end, just to make up for it.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  Good.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  But no, they're great, very safe. I didn't feel, you know, weird, weirded out at any point. It connects to your Spotify immediately, so your music starts playing. Literally, you get into it, In the Navy started playing immediately. It's fab. And I did a whole journey from.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  How did it know you was gay?

• 9:07Speaker 03

  No, because that is my Spotify.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  I've just listened to it generally.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  Oh, right. What I was going to say, it's quite offensive, isn't it?

• 9:15Speaker 03

  Well, it's West Hollywood, darling.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  So you seen you got in and it said, dum, dum, dum, in the Navy.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  It's great. Donna, Summer, all the hits. I did a whole journey from West Hollywood to downtown LA, 40-minute journey. How much do you think it cost me?

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Thirty dollars?

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Lower.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Fifteen dollars.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Fifteen dollars?

• 9:37Speaker 03

  I felt so. And then on the one occasion, we had to go and film at a hotel, which was in the Hollywood Hills. So the cars can't go up the hills properly yet. So you can't, you can take AwayMo is the name of the company is. And I was quite cross about that. And we get in the Uber and he's breaking the speed limit, lurching on the brake. I felt so ill. Whereas AwayMo will just do, just do the speed limit if it can. It's, it's got cameras all around it. It's looking everywhere. It's got a better field of vision than a human. Great. I wouldn't want to do it on a motorway or a highway, but yeah.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  I wouldn't want to do it full stop.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  No, you see, you see, I know what you're like. In, in a year or two, you'll go in one.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  And then you'll be sitting here and you'll be going, I tell you what, fantastic.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  No, I've just got used to a RapMaster for three thousand. So getting used to a drive now, I won't do it. I won't be able to trust it.

• 10:30Speaker 04

  You can't chat to the, to a robot either, can you?

• 10:33Speaker 02

  No, it's sometimes nice to chat to the Uber drivers.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. And, and you, yes, obviously you missed that personal connection. You could press the support button and chat to them.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Shaun, who picks me up every morning, texts me to capital, like we, I, I feel like I should be paying him as my psychiatrist.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 10:50Speaker 02

  The stuff we talk about every morning.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  He needs danger money.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, definitely. And some mornings he knows I'm tired. He just sees me to it and puts the radio on.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  How long did you journey in?

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Twenty minutes.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Okay. Well.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Well, anyway, driverless taxes, it's the way forward. I'm all for it.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. I've got lots of other stories from LA. I'll do, now I'll do some of them next week, maybe.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  No, don't sprinkle them out.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  I don't want to bang on and on.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  No one's bothered, so tell them now.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  No, what's going on in your life?

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Well, whilst you've been in LA.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  I have had something introduced to me in my life that I wish I did years ago. And I cannot recommend this enough.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Shave?

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Right. No, again.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Wash?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  No, maybe I am a bit behind when it comes to technology. I've just got from a telly.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  What they call a soundbar.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Right. No, seriously.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Can you now hear speech really clearly?

• 11:43Speaker 02

  So there's a setting on it where you can put advanced dialogue for the old deaf ear and fucking screw you. It's amazing, right?

• 11:53Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Honestly, I'm watching telly, phone rings and I'm going, phone, fuck, we don't even have an house phone. Phone, it were on the telly.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  So previously without the soundbar, you would just.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  It's like, it's amazing. Helicopter went past. I'm looking out a window.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Honestly, I'm only watching Emmerdale. It's, it's, um, I cannot tell you how much of a life changer it is.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  They are very good.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  I've never had one before.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Flat screen TVs, if you think about it, where are the speakers?

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  They're tiny.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  So I'll give you an example. It's like, hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. We should go down there definitely. And then soundbar is like, let's do it. Let's go down there.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Completely different dialogue.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  And kick some ass.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Honestly.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  That's Antiques Roadshow.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  I'm a nervous wreck, but I'm watching Cory. It's all sorts. It's, it's, I cannot, I've never had one. Why did no one ever tell me to get one?

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Well, they might have done. He might just probably didn't hear it.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Got it on, uh, what's, I got it on a sale. Was it? Yeah. I got it on the Amazon sale.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  You could have waited for Black Friday.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  No, I got it on the Amazon sale.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Go and get one for all your other TVs.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Oh, watching footy in it. Honestly, I'm, I'm there next to Arteta, arms crossed going, yeah, definitely bring him on now. Yeah, yeah. No, give it another, no, no, no, bring him on now. Yeah. Cause you can hear everything. It's like, it's like at the Emirates.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Do you know the other thing you could do with TVs? Especially if you don't want other people to like hear football or whatever, if they're not interested in. You can connect to your headphones. So you could just watch TV with Bluetooth headphones.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Just get away.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Hmm. Just a suggestion.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  I don't want to be those people that used to protest during the industrial revolution because they thought we were going too far with technology. But I think with driverless cars and soundbars and headphones to a telly, I think we need to stop now.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 13:43Speaker 02

  We've peaked. We don't need else.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  Well, you're not even going to get in a driverless car.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  We, we don't need anything else. Like what else do we need?

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Um.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Look at like Gemini is good and stuff helps us out, but what else do we need?

• 14:00Speaker 03

  Uh, well, just a, a good mobile phone signal is all I'd like.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  My upstairs router is broken.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  I can't get wifi properly upstairs. I've had to turn it off. I have now connected to the downstairs router, which is further away. And it works perfectly with the upstairs router. It connects to it and the internet drops out.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Get one of those little thingies.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  I've got one of those little thingies.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Couple of other things. Guess who I've seen who I've not seen in ages? Sends his love.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Give me a clue. Do I know this person?

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. Bold.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Uh, Stanley Tucci?

• 14:31Speaker 02

  No, but he sends, he says hello as well.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  Does he?

• 14:34Speaker 04

  Not his love.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Don't send his love.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  Vin Diesel?

• 14:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  I've met this person.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  Ross Kemp?

• 14:42Speaker 02

  No. Oh my, obsessed.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  Um, I can't think of any bold people.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  Awely.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Oh, Awely.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  He sends his love. I went, I went on the footy with him.

• 14:52Speaker 03

  Yes, you did. You was, yeah. How was that?

• 14:54Speaker 02

  And he was good. I spent a good day with him.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  Good game?

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, we won. Had a right good piss up with him, but I've not seen him properly in ages.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  Would you send my love back?

• 15:03Speaker 02

  I will.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  And how's Joanne?

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's good. She's good. Yeah. Still a knobender.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  I'm sorry?

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Supports Preston, no offence because knobender, don't they?

• 15:11Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. But it's all love and games.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  They're married, aren't they?

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  They're married. Um, but yeah, he's good. He said one of the best lines I've heard, I was actually biting into an hot dog as he told me it. And I, I'm honestly, I nearly choked. And this is why I love Awely. And this is why he provides me the best jokes. And he was being deadly serious. So he was getting cold. He went, oh, I'm glad the heatwave is over.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  He said, especially in Burnley, I've seen more camel toe than an Egyptian vet.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  And I just thought that was absolutely brilliant. How great of a line is that?

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  So they've seen more camel toe in Burnley town centre.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  It's, it's very Lancashire.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Than an Egyptian vet. I just, I honestly, I'll go, it was slapping me on back and everything. So yeah, it's been, it was great to see him. I've not seen him for a while.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  Okay. Nice. Well, that's, that's lovely. Talking of soundbars, have I told you that my parents, we got my parents to get a soundbar last year?

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Oh Christ, God, knowing that with technology.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  And then when we then went to go and stay with them, it literally was six months later. We went, how are you getting on with the soundbar? Has it made an improvement? They went, yes. Oh my God, we can hear speech perfectly.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's great.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. We sit down to watch something with them and Mike and I look at each other and think. This is, this is, we can't, we can't understand a word they're saying. They haven't plugged it in. So it's just six months it sat in front of the television and they, they thought it was plugged in.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  They just thought it was working?

• 16:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  That's a placebo effect.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well done.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  All right.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  No, it's clever.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  I do have my moments.

• 16:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, that was one of them.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Thank you. Placebo effect.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  Take the rest of the year off.

• 16:49Speaker 02

  Um, Halloween's coming up. We've got a Halloween special episode on Friday.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Well, we've got, we've got a special, uh, Halloween episode on Patreon tomorrow.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  And then we have our special Halloween bonus from the haunted house.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  On Friday.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  On Friday.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. So we do an, an episode live from a haunted house on Friday.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Recorded as live.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  What are you dressing up as this year? What are you doing?

• 17:10Speaker 03

  What am I dressing up as? Uh, nothing.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Well, what, what have you gone as in previous years?

• 17:15Speaker 03

  I've never dressed up.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Really?

• 17:17Speaker 03

  No.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Well, you dressed up as me that time.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  Oh yeah. Okay. For the podcast, I've dressed up as you. I am actually going, I'm going to break this to everyone. I am actually going to a Halloween party.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Are you actu- you have changed. I bet you we can find a clip of you saying Halloween party for muggles. You should never go.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  I can find articles I've done. I can easily find that. Um, I'm sort of, no, I'm not going as a character.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  You have to dress up.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  You have to dress up.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm dressing up. I'll show you what I'm in. I've just decided.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Do we want to see what you're in?

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Why don't you go what you wore for the tour?

• 17:51Speaker 03

  No, actually my friend Max wanted me to go as that. And I said, it will take up most of your flat. The, the tails.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Why don't you wear mine then? I've still got it here. I'm going to take that home with me.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  That's a good show.

• 18:01Speaker 03

  Could I?

• 18:02Speaker 02

  You actually could.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Might did it short on me.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  And if you just did a bit of like a zombie face, yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Zombie Kylie.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Don't get any fake blood on it.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  Zombie naughty Kylie.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  Zombie naughty Kylie.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Don't get any, because I'm using that for when I go stitches.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  I'm joking.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  I don't think you are. Um.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  Zombie Kylie. I, do you want to take that? Cause if not, I'm going to take it home. I've got some crisps sent in as well that I need to take.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  Zombie Kylie, I just can't bite you out of my head.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Wow. Look at you.

• 18:32Speaker 04

  Or something like that.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  So I'm not going to show the camera.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  It's, it's, so with Halloween, and I should say there isn't a theme at this party. I have asked numerous times, what is the theme? So I could be in keeping in the theme. I'm told there isn't one. So I just thought it's just general fancy dress. Wear something you wouldn't normally wear.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Okay, let's go for that.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  So I'm wearing that.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Oh, you're going as old you.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Rude.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Why are you wearing that?

• 18:59Speaker 03

  Well, I thought, why not?

• 19:00Speaker 02

  No, you've got to dress up.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  I had that dress up. You're not going to wear that to Waitrose, are you?

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Let's give him some ideas. So a lot of people are going as Catherine Turner from M and S this year. Is it Catherine Turner? Yeah, it's, yeah. You know, the M and S ambassador that's all over TikTok.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Like you could go as that.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  She just wears like a nice top and jeans, doesn't she?

• 19:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you just, you go as that. You can be creative. Ben, what could it go as? What's quite in at the moment? Gen Z is, you'd know, but she's off with flu.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  Kat and I want to go to a Halloween party. We've not been invited to one this year.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  Well, do you want to come to the one I'm going to? They need to get the numbers up.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  No, no, it's fine. Thanks.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 19:37Speaker 04

  Um, but we want to go as, as the coach and the, the, and Claire Knightley and bend it like Beckham.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  Nice topical reference.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  There we go. Thirty years our day.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Why don't you go as like the knife and the knife sharpener?

• 19:53Speaker 02

  That's good. Jack, any ideas what William could go as?

• 19:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:58Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Great show. Or you could go as Wendy when you're dressed up as Wendy on the tour.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  Yes, I could do.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  Zombie Wendy.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  Zombie Wendy. Why does everything have to be? I mean, I could, with that outfit, I'm thinking of just putting a bit of fake blood down there, down the corner of my lip, so.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  I don't like the one where people do the zips, so it looks like your face is opened.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  No.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Too far for me to do that. It's not fun.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  Well, my friend who wanted me to come in my Kylie Showgirl costume.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Do that.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  He was like, oh, we might go out afterwards. Half of me was like, it would be pretty iconic, me going down Soho dressed as Kylie. Like, half of me is like, hmm.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Go in mine.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay. Yours is a bit easier to get into.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Try it on after this, and if it works, you can borrow it.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Are you actually gonna do that?

• 20:44Speaker 03

  What?

• 20:45Speaker 04

  Go as Kylie, slutty Kylie?

• 20:47Speaker 03

  No, because, because.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  He's more worse in Soho, trust me.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  Showgirl Kylie takes some preparation work, and I'm not sure I really want to do the preparation work next week.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Go as, go as my Kylie.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Okay. Right, before we move on, will you straighten that picture behind you? It's to me, Edin.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  Which?

• 21:04Speaker 02

  That one. Yeah.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  Bit other way now. Bit more to the other way.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  Which way?

• 21:11Speaker 02

  Towards Ben. It's great if you're listening on the podcast. Yeah, that'll do.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  One final thing about LA for this week, anyway. I was eating in a restaurant called Olive Garden. It's not necessarily, I'm gonna post my review on my social media at some point. The best thing about Olive Garden, and that wasn't a lot, but the best thing about it is that it was someone's birthday. So they brought it out, and their happy birthday song goes like this. Happy birthday to you, cha cha cha. Happy birthday to you, cha cha cha. Happy birthday, dear Jordan. Happy birthday to you, cha cha cha. I was so happy.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  It really put a spring in my step. It made the whole trip worthwhile.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Well, we can't wait for more LA stories next week.

• 21:57Speaker 04

  That's, that's the second best story.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  No, no, no, there are better ones, and I'm just gonna do them next week.

• 22:01Speaker 04

  Olive Garden's like Pizza Express, isn't it?

• 22:04Speaker 03

  It aspires to be like Pizza Express, yes, with unlimited breadsticks and unlimited salad.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  Like Prezo.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Did you get in an Out Burger?

• 22:11Speaker 03

  No.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Oh, for God's sake.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  We nearly went to Taco Taco Bell. Um, in fact, we were, we were trying to get there in one of our driverless cars. And, uh, the area that we were in, we decided if I got out in a double-breasted suit and started slagging off Taco Tacos, I would die. So we didn't.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  So we changed the driverless car destination.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  I asked someone recently, we had some Hollywood people in, on the show, and I asked them if they'd been to In-N-Out Burger.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Lots of people very divided about it.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  I think it looks amazing, anyway.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  I reviewed, where else did I review? Um, Chick-fil-A. Controversially.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Uh, because they've been in the news a lot, because they have strong opinions about things that really, I don't know if restaurants need to have opinions on.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  In this day and age as well.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. Um, so I very pleasingly just sat in Chick-fil-A and did as many gay innuendos as I possibly could.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Good, do you know, good lad.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  Proud of you there. Well done you.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  They've also, they, for a fast food restaurant, it's just a chicken fast food restaurant.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  They call it Dick-fil-A.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  No, but I did do quite a Jordan North joke.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  Ass-fil-A.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  No, I.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Wish I were there. Would have brought the house down.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Uh, in my intro, I was like, I'm going to go to somewhere called Chick-filler. Filler, I barely know her.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  Um, the rest of the review gets better.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  That was good.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Thank you. Um, but, no, for a, for a sort of a relatively anti-gay, uh, restaurant, they've got floral table decorations. How camp.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 23:43Speaker 03

  Literally real flowers in little vases.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  It always is the homophobes.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  So gay.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  Always is the homophobes.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Well, it is, anyway.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  Um, what, oh, is it etiquetteology of the week?

• 23:53Speaker 03

  It is etiquetteology.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Great.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  And sort of inspired by, I think we alluded to it when we were reading out that dilemma, you know, the kebab dilemma that we did about eating the kebab out the, you know.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  Bun.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  And, well, a bun, a bun of sorts, yes.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Or the pita.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yep, out of.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  The bottle. Oh, the bun, yeah, the bun, yeah. Oh.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Out of a place that Chick-fil-A would not approve of, let's put it that way. Um, I have looked into the history of doner kebabs.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  Great.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  It's not very etiquette-y, I appreciate, although there is an etiquette slant as to how you eat a doner kebab and how that has changed over time.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Okay, that'll do.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  So hopefully that'll satisfy.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  We'll find out all about kebabs after the break.

• 24:35Speaker 01

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• 25:09Speaker 00

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• 26:14Speaker 05

  It's time. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Halloween.

• 26:23Speaker 06

  And you guys know we don't do Halloween by halves. Full costume, full prosthetics, full commitment. I'm a rat and I'm the chef. It's our Ratatouille special. Then we're grabbing our broomsticks for the witches.

• 26:35Speaker 05

  We've got a spooky hotline caller.

• 26:37Speaker 06

  An update from our woman who was in love with the ghost of Prince Albert. And your tarot card dilemmas. Listen to our Halloween specials. Search for The Girls Bathroom.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Here's the jingle.

• 26:53Speaker 07

  It's William, William, the etiquette geek, his knowledge, knowledge is quite unique. He'll give you manners, manners, subtle tweak. It's time for William's etiquette, etiquetteology of the week. Cha cha cha, cha cha cha, cha cha cha. Cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Welcome back, Jane Divas. Uh, it's my etiquetteology. We're talking about kebabs inspired by that horrific dilemma. I hope you're over it from a few weeks ago. So kebabs, they're found across a number of types of cuisine: Persian, Ottoman, Arabian. For those that don't know what they are.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Greek?

• 27:25Speaker 03

  Greek, exactly. Yeah, British. Um, they're generally pieces of meat on a skewer that have been roasted. That is basically what a kebab is. Cooking meat that way goes back centuries. The doner kebab, however, is a much more recent introduction. It was the Turkish Efendi family who developed a horizontal spit which rotated. And these were originally used to roast whole lambs. And in 1867, coming up to seven o'clock, a new method was created. And the doner was invented by Iskander Efendi. And the original doner was sold with tomato sauce and bread, yogurt, and melted butter.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  Actually, sounds quite nice, if I'm honest. However, this is where we get a bit etiquette-y. It was not a takeaway, it was a plated, sit-down meal. Now, there are other claimants to the invention, we should say, however, but none before the 19th century. So doner kebab is at least from the 19th century.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  And who's claiming that?

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Lots of people claim, other people, but it was Iskander Efendi, basically. Now, in Europe, doner kebabs were only seen from the 1970s onwards, but they took off in the 80s and the 90s. Uh, doner kebab is from the Turkish meaning. Rotating roast. Which apparently is, is a nightclub, but, uh, it's also Turkish. Traditionally lamb, modern doner may also be chicken or mixed meats. I don't know why you'd want to mix your meats, if I'm honest.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  I've had a mixed meat kebab. I've had every kebab you can think of.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Okay. Um, kebabs are especially delicious, apparently when eaten out of someone's anus, as we discovered a couple of weeks ago.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  What?

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Interest at the joke, they're not. In August 2025, Lancashire County Council announced the prosecution of a Burnley takeaway for selling kebabs described as lamb and chicken that were actually made mostly from beef, with only some being chicken and lamb.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  So there we go. That's your doner kebab.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  I was just gonna say, the best kebabs are in Burnley. I love a Burnley kebab, but the best ever.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  What makes them so good?

• 29:20Speaker 02

  I don't know, they just know how to do it.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  It's so beefy.

• 29:23Speaker 02

  You get like, oh, it's loads of it in a big, large pita.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  And they put like chili sauce on it, garlic, garlic mayo. The best kebab I've ever had since Benadon. There's a very good one they do in Magaluf as well.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  Uh, I'll, do you know what?

• 29:38Speaker 03

  Cali hotspots.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  I'll do top five kebabs one day. I'll have a think about it, because I used to get a cracking one in Sunderland if my student loan come in, because if not, I'd just get cheesy chips and garlic sauce. But they did a good one in Sunderland. Oh, and then obviously, big shout out to, um, Cafe Zeus in Preston. They also did a great kebab.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Cafe Zeus?

• 29:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I used to get chicken kebab there. Yeah. And also, there's a, a kebab shop near where I live in London that's like viral. There's people queuing. There's loads of influencers.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Okay. Actually, I don't mind a kebab as long as it is like chunks of meat, not the shaved meat.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  No, I like the shaved. I like the shaved. It's gotta be shaved.

• 30:14Speaker 04

  The shaved is doner?

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 30:16Speaker 02

  Is the, have I made this up?

• 30:18Speaker 03

  I like.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Ain't there someone who robbed one of them once and ran off with it?

• 30:22Speaker 03

  What? What, an actual?

• 30:23Speaker 04

  The, the elephant's leg.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  The big, yeah, the big thing. Not condoning that, but it's really, did I see that on a night out? Just a lad run past.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Or was that you?

• 30:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  One of your friends?

• 30:34Speaker 02

  I've only ever stolen a traffic light lolly from the Naffy, and I got grounded for two weeks. The Naffy's the shop in the army. Stands for. Navy, Air Force, Infant, Navy, Air Force.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  How do you spell it?

• 30:49Speaker 02

  Naffi, N-A-F-F-I, I think. The Naffi was the shop in, in my day when I was in army, the Naffi was like, there was a pub in there, there was a shop.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Navy and Army Food Emporium.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, just Google.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Wrong spelling.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  There was Bandits.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Bandits?

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Fag machine, you go in and get fags and stuff, yeah. But I nicked the traffic like Lennon got caught. Let me lesson. Hey, before we go on to modern day dilemmas, tomorrow, we have got another Patreon exclusive episode.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  Yes, that's right. Premium members of our Patreon channel help I Sexed My Boss out of office.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Get a brand new episode every Wednesday.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, last Wednesday, we did a reaction special where we heard some of our old clips back from the old days and we reacted to some classic sexted moments and had some of your savage comments. But tomorrow's one.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Yes, it's a special one. Jordan and I are heading to a haunted house for a spooky tour and trust us, you do not want to miss that one. I'm going to talk to you about that and what I told you about it when we went for our drink next Tuesday, once people have watched it.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  Okay. I, I, I, I'm not gonna lie, it shit me up. I was full on Yvette Fielding. Was it Yvette Fielding?

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Yvette, not Yvette. Yvette is someone you take your dog to.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Was it Yvette?

• 32:06Speaker 03

  Yvette Fielding.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Yvette Fielding and Yvette Cooper's the MP?

• 32:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  Did I sit next to her at the Pride of Britain Awards this week? Oh, I went to that as well, it's really good.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  Yvette Cooper probably would have been at the Pride.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  No, it was the other one.

• 32:19Speaker 03

  Yvette Fielding?

• 32:20Speaker 02

  The other Labour MP, Lady.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Um, Diane Abbott?

• 32:25Speaker 02

  Nope, keep going.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  No, she may not be Labour anymore.

• 32:27Speaker 02

  Angela Rayner? No, she's a Dame now, I think.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Shabana Mahmood.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Um.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Stella Creasy?

• 32:34Speaker 03

  Less Yvette Fielding.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Come on, it's gonna bug me. Can't move on until I've done it. Emily.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Emily Thornbury.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Yes, Emily Thornbury.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  I was gonna do an event with her for the Terence Higgins Trust, but then because of Titanica, couldn't do it.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  I met Andy Burnham as well. What? Hello?

• 32:49Speaker 03

  The Mayor of Manchester.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Hear me out, so I'm backstage. The Mayor of Manchester?

• 32:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  It's the PM. Have you been away that long?

• 32:56Speaker 03

  I give up.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  Backstage, yeah, and with Lucy Bronze, the footballer, giving out an award. Someone had dropped out, so he asked me to come in last minute, not taken.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  No.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  Andy Burnham walks in, promise you that, I go, hello, and he goes, oh, hi, Jordan, I'm Andy. What? No, no, no. Honest to God. He's just, he knows who the people's princesses. We don't do politics on this show, but the guy's got, the guy's got jits, not jits, riz, the guy's got riz, the guy's got riz. I said to him, I said, Andy, hear me out, don't make being a Norvan your thing.

• 33:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  It won't last.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  You, you've said this recently on the podcast.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  I said, Andy, we get it, you're Norvan, but there's more to you about being Norvan, anyway.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  And how did he take that?

• 33:41Speaker 02

  He was like, yeah, true, it's Jordan, yeah. To be fair, I'm making out, I was a spare part, I was more speaking to Lucy, because he's big into football than women's football. But we spoke about Burnley and Everton and stuff.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  It was great.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Well, that's nice. That's lovely. Shall we go on to some dilemmas?

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Remember, if you need our help with something, then get in touch. You can send your tells of trepidation to [email protected]. You can DM us, we're at Sexed My Boss on the socials, or the address is on the website, sextedmyboss.com. William Hanson, what have we got?

• 34:09Speaker 03

  This first one is from Callum, Dear William, Jordan and the cuck. Greetings from Australia. That's producer Ben. I have a dilemma for you that surprisingly doesn't involve someone's dick. Now, shall we move on?

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Good.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  I have a friend called Matthew, who I've been friends with since I was four years old. For context, I'm 20 now. A year ago, Matthew got a girlfriend. I've met her multiple times and she's always been lovely. However, about six months ago, Matthew stopped talking to me. At first, I would message him to catch up and he'd respond with, I'm a little busy, but I'll get back to you. But then, of course, would never respond. We've never been the type to talk every day, but usually we would catch up at least once a fortnight. However, eventually, after constantly putting in the effort and receiving the same response, I gave up trying to initiate. His birthday happened recently and I never received an invitation from him. However, a few weeks before his birthday, my girlfriend received a text from his girlfriend saying, I can't wait to catch up with the both of you at his

• 35:01Speaker 03

  party. Oh, my dilemma is this. My birthday is coming up shortly and whilst discussing who to invite with my girlfriend, my pussy-morised best mate popped up. My girlfriend suggested I let the whole thing slide and invite him anyway in the hopes he'll take a break from pulling a Ben, stop being such a cuck, and it'll rekindle our friendship. Wow. However, I feel the time has passed and if he hasn't wanted to catch up in all that time, on top of not inviting me to his birthday, it's probably best just to move on. Any advice would be appreciated. Cheers, Callum. So I thought that was going in the direction of the girlfriend clearly doesn't like Callum, or potentially, and is sort of forcing her boyfriend to pick a side, it's me or your friend. But no, if the girlfriend's then

• 35:42Speaker 03

  texting Callum's girlfriend saying, uh, see you at the party, it's all down to the friend. So maybe, maybe you've done something, Callum, to slight the friend. Why don't you just text him and say, we used to talk all the time, we now don't. What's, what's the problem?

• 35:58Speaker 02

  I think invite him to your party one last time, see where you're at with him.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Invite both of them?

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, of course.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  At the same time?

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Invite him to your party and then maybe at the party, just say, hey, I'm so glad you made it. It's really good to see you.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Just, it'd be nice to see more of you and you've gone a bit.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  I'm worried about you. Maybe he's going through stuff.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  You've gone a bit offline over the past five months. Do you know what? Maybe he's going about.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  What's, what have you got in your top pocket? Sorry.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Oh, I've not had this on since last winter. Oh, you know, most people find a fiver. Oh, I've got half a Belvita. Oh, oh, God. God knows how long that's been in there. Do you want it?

• 36:39Speaker 03

  No, I don't.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  To be fair, it's still in there. Oh, no, it's not. 28th of the 2nd, 26th.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  It's gonna make the cameras strobe something rotted, but it's very nice.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Sorry, I've not worn this for, so it's rustling.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  Right, yeah, I just, I could see it slowly rising from your pocket.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  There we go. It's an old belt. Most people find a fiver, don't they? Off the bin, that.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Anyway, Callum, I would say when you text, when you text, make sure you text them both at the same time. Group message, put your girlfriend in there too. Invite them both, because I do think sometimes, friends, you text one to say, come to the party, they don't see it, the other one doesn't see that text message, and then if you text both of them, at least they're both seeing it and you have a greater chance of them actually turning up. So text both and then, yes, take Jordan's approach.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  That's what I'd say.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Good advice.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  This is from anonymous. Dear Jordan, William, EPB, Gen Z, Izzy and all of the fabulous Sexted team, long time listener with a dilemma I really need your help with. Let me preface this by telling you, I've been with my partner for 15 years and I'm still so in love with him. However, he's currently giving me the ick. It's all down to our primary school aged children bringing home some unwanted visitors from school. After combing my son's hair after a shower, I noticed something falling from his hair and on closer inspection found he did indeed have nits. A trip to the chemist followed and I sat down to treat the boy's heads that night. I also changed all the sheets and when the children were in bed, we had the unpleasant task of going through each other's heads with a fine toothed comb. Already icky enough, but wait, there's more. My partner has been sporting a very fetching beard for the majority of the last 10 years and it suits him so well.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  However, he decided the best offence against nits was to shave it off. He's one of those people whose appearance drastically changes based on his facial hair.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Like poor Gary Barlow, everyone's going in on him. Did you see that recently? Because he shaved his beard.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  Did he have a beard?

• 38:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like front page news. It's like, he's only had his shave.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Oh, it's his face. Let him, let him do it alone.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  Can I just say, I shaved my beard once and did not look like me. I, it did not look like me. It was weird. Full, clean shaven.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  Did you come in? Were we recording an episode?

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Can I take this Belvita?

• 38:43Speaker 03

  Of course you can, darling. I'm not making you keep it there.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  Rustling away in the pocket. Where can I put it?

• 38:48Speaker 03

  Just put it on the shelf on the floor. Anyway, when the beard was gone, he lost about 15 years and not in a good way. I now feel like a bit of a pervert who's cheating on him with his less attractive younger brother. He's stuck with me through various weight changes and different looks and I know I need to get over myself. It's really so shallow of me to think like this, but how do I see this clean faced stranger as my handsome man? I just don't fancy this version so much. Anonymous. Well, the great thing is anonymous, the beard will grow back.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  Yes, however, um, before I forget, Joe?

• 39:16Speaker 03

  She's not here.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Joe, remind me to send a picture of me without a beard. I look so weird. Some people ages from people makes younger. Um, it's one of them because, you know, the old moustache.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Some aren't keen on it.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  No. You know, recently, we've had an entire conversation about why did I not tell you the mullet didn't suit you?

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  And I said, well, I did.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  And you've just forgotten that. Can we have the same conversation about the moustache?

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Well, it's not just now. I'm being told the sideburns, because I'm growing my hair out.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Never trust a man with sideburns.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  I'm growing my hair out at the moment. I'm gonna try and grow it out a bit.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  So I've got a bit of sideburns, trying to make it look a bit neat. And yeah, so it is hard. You could try, I think you've got to tell your partner.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  Just say, oh, I just prefer you with a beard.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  That's all you need to say.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  I so much prefer you with a beard. But it could be one of those where it's just because you're used to him with a beard, it might actually, pardon the pun, grow on you a bit.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, true.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  It might.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  As they say, if you change your hairstyle, it takes sort of three to four days for your brain to get used to it, because you're so used to seeing yourself one way.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. Apparently, there is some research into that.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Ah, so yeah, I would tell him and just be like, I really love your beard, but I find you so, you know what? You could be like, grow that beard back. And I'll just be like, bruh. And you know how blokes work. You know what they want.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  When it comes to it all. So be like, grow that beard back. And then as soon as he starts growing it back.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  But I think he will. It's not like-

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Start putting out a bit more. And be like, right, beard equals sex. No beard equals no sex.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Anonymous-

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Is that fair to say? I don't mean that in like a horrible, like, ooh way.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  I think if your partner has sort of implied he prefers it without the beard, then I think I'd worry. But if he's just doing it because, yeah, he's being sensible and wanting to get rid of the nits, don't panic, because within a week, at least there should be stubble.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  And the beard will come back.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Well, no, I think he's, yeah, grow the beard.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  This is from Anna. She doesn't start with a dear, she just goes straight in.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  That's all right.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  I'm thirty this year, and I've got a serious Halloween dilemma. Every year, I've gone for the sluttiest costume possible, because Halloween is basically the one night a year where you get getting your tits out is considered fancy dress.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Do you know what? You've nothing on the, I think I can say this, you've nothing on the gaze of what they do for Halloween.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, true.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, thank you. Honestly.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  But now I'm thirty, I'm wondering if I need to start dressing my age. Do I go as a sexy devil one last time, or do I embrace my thirties and turn up as a pumpkin at a poncho? I just don't want to be the oldest woman in the club, dress as a naughty schoolgirl, but equally, I'm not ready to start buying costumes with the modesty panel. Where do we stand on slutty Halloween costumes after thirty? As mean girls would say, in girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. Love you lots.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  I totally agree. Just go for it. Thirty's young. Thirty's still young, especially these days.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  It depends on your own confidence, what you want to look like, what, just dress however you wish to dress.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  If you wanna go as a slutty Halloween costume, go for it.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  I don't know, though, that Halloween needs to, when did Halloween start equating to being a slut?

• 42:18Speaker 02

  It peaked, if you ask me, was when Harley Quinn was doing the rounds, you know, from, what's it called?

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Suicide Squad. Thank you. Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  Ben, do you ever go a bit slutty for Halloween?

• 42:34Speaker 04

  No.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  No?

• 42:35Speaker 04

  No.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  What's the slut-

• 42:37Speaker 04

  I dressed up as Paolo from the Lizzie McGuire movie.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Nutini?

• 42:42Speaker 04

  Sing to me, Paolo. Have you seen the Lizzie McGuire movie?

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Can I just say, your Halloween costumes, you wanted to go as someone from Bend It Like Beckham this year.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  I know. Are you trying to get yourself cancelled?

• 42:52Speaker 04

  Cancel? There's nothing to cancel about, is there?

• 42:55Speaker 03

  Well, I don't, it's been literally twenty years since I've gone to Bend It Like Beckham.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna be slutty. We don't even know what Halloween costume you're wearing this year.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  It's not slutty. Everything's covered.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  You're not showing it. I don't believe you. Well, I don't believe you.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  Come here and I'll show you.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  No, no, it's fine.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, just go as it. Like, thirty now's not old. There's these trends going around at the moment. I couldn't agree more compared to what our parents wore when they were thirties.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  My mum looks younger now than when she was thirty.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  She does, yeah.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  No, no, because, because of, you know, moisturiser.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  Just tell her to dress in her hairstyles and stuff. Do you think I look thirty-six?

• 43:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Older?

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Hmm, no. You look very mature. You do, like a fine wine.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Oh, thank, no, I'm aging like milk.

• 43:43Speaker 03

  Sediment at the bottom.

• 43:45Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, go as a slut. And do you know what? If you're listening, you're forty, you're fifteen, you wanna dress slutty, go for it.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Do it. Get that short skirt on. Go for it. It's Halloween. Everyone can dress a bit slutty for Halloween.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  You're away for Halloween, aren't you?

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  Going skeggy again.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Yes, I know.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  So.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Will you be wearing anything slutty and skeggy?

• 44:05Speaker 02

  No, but we do go to this place that does a great Halloween night. Yeah.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  You see, this Halloween party is just in someone's house. That's fine. I don't need to be going out.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  No, we don't go out. It goes like this restaurant, and it's amazing.

• 44:19Speaker 03

  Oh, pumpkin soup.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  In Skegness.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  Do you go apple bobbing?

• 44:24Speaker 02

  I've not done that for a while, actually.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Try and get a, try and get a cox between your teeth. It's a type of apple. This is from Alex. Hi, William, Jordan and the whole Sexed production.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  Do you prefer Halloween or bonfire night?

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Oh, bonfire night. It's so much more sophisticated.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  Do you think?

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Bad on the pets, though, isn't it?

• 44:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, Diego doesn't like it.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Bless him. I don't, George. I know exactly fireworks, but I bloody, honestly, it's just not nice. I don't know what's going on. Their manoeuvres are bloody eight.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  This is from Alex. Hi, Jordan, William and the whole Sexed production. I have a question on breakup etiquette. I was with my ex for five years. We broke up six months ago, and I still have all the pictures on my phone. I have a child, and some of the pictures we had together are of the three of us. I really don't know what to do with them. I'm in two minds. Do I delete them, as there is no way we will ever get back together? Or do I keep some? As five years is a very long time to delete pictures from. Any help or other options would be appreciated. Alex, I don't know what sort of phone you have. I can only speak for the iPhone. Hide them.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  I just, I, I personally-

• 45:24Speaker 03

  Click on the hide function.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  Wouldn't delete them, because obviously you're still-

• 45:26Speaker 03

  It's a memory.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  You're still going through them now, and it's very sore. But also, think of your child. Your child would love to see those pictures when they're older of you and their dad together.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know if that's the dad.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  I think, yeah, I'm guessing.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  For, I'd maybe, if it hurts to see them now, like what William says, keep them, put them in a file somewhere, save them. But I probably wouldn't delete them permanently, because in ten years' time, you're like, oh, that's a happy memory.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Or you can now, on most operating systems, AI the person out.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  You can use the thing to erase them.

• 46:01Speaker 02

  Just, yeah, maybe hide them. Put them in your hidden folder.

• 46:04Speaker 03

  Hmm. We should go through each other's hidden folders.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, now it's mine.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  Actually, there are not much in mine. But for years, the only photo in my hidden folder was a picture of you on a train with a jacket over you.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Why?

• 46:18Speaker 03

  I don't, it was something on tour, and you didn't like the photos, so I said I'd hide it, when we were like travelling on a train. And then I opened my hidden folder about a year ago, and the only one is you.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  Okay, well, yeah, that's what I'd say. Maybe, but don't delete it now. Give it a while. But if you still feel the same in a few years' time, delete it.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. This is from Anonymous. I've recently started a new job and have quickly made friends with a lovely girl called Emily. Emily is a lesbian, and I'm a gay man. So I thought, great, we already had something in common. This is why you're mistaken. You don't.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  You need to watch the famous insert.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  I went outside the house in LA.

• 46:51Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've been outside it before, but we went outside Mitch and Cam's house.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, we took a Waymo there.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Insert the Mitch and Cam clip here.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Well, probably legally can't, but yeah. There's a whole thing about the Venn diagrams between gays and lesbians. Anyway, little did I know just how much we actually had in common. After weeks of chatting in the office, we added each other on Facebook. They're old. I'm not really one for scrolling through other people's photos, so I thought nothing of it. That was until one day when she shared a picture of herself with her dad. I looked at the photo.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  Oh, no. I know what it is.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  And then it dawned on me.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  I had on three separate occasions, shagged her dad. Now, most people would probably be horrified by this revelation. My first thought, not again. The not again was because only a month or two earlier, it also transpired I had shagged my friend's boyfriend's dad, who coincidentally was also married and living with her mum's boyfriend. They say everyone in this world is connected by six degrees of separation. I think in my case, that number needs to be recalculated. So should I let my coworker know, or should I hold on to my dirty little secret and hope that fate doesn't cruelly put myself, my new friend and her father in the same room? Anonymous. I wouldn't let her know. Unless-

• 48:03Speaker 02

  A lot of people listening will be divided on this.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  If the dad is openly gay, I would say there's less of an issue, because you slept with him when you didn't know the coworker. He's gay, you're gay. It's two gays getting together, whatever. If the dad is living with a woman and presents as straight to the outside world,

• 48:21Speaker 03

  it's probably a bit of an issue, because in effect, you're the other woman.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  Best keeping your nose clean.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  I'd say, yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  Should have taken that advice sooner.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Um, it's probably best not to say anything. Yeah. But I mean, some people will be listening, going, no, tell them. That's bad. He's cheating. But it's best not to get involved, I don't think.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's my advice on that.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  My god.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  Well, it all goes on.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  It does. Done it twice. It's happened to him. Twice.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  I think it's probably only going to play not in your favour.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  I can't see that. Honesty is the best policy, but sometimes ignorance is bliss.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  Stick that on a t-shirt.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Very good advice.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Thank you very much.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  Very good. Very good advice.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  What?

• 49:08Speaker 02

  How much gin and tabonnet?

• 49:09Speaker 03

  You actually have actually drunk the gin and tabonnet.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  You haven't drunk that much gin and tabonnet for a while.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  For about two years.

• 49:14Speaker 02

  It's a tough week.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  You are due a skeggy trip, aren't you?

• 49:18Speaker 03

  Right, wrap up.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Why? We're gonna?

• 49:21Speaker 03

  We're finished.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Oh, right. I thought you meant something else, huh?

• 49:25Speaker 03

  Oh, you don't need to wrap up.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Thank you for your questions. Ooh, it has gone to me. It's got a bit windy.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just noticed.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  It's got a bit windy. I've not had a full gin and tabonnet for ages.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  You look a bit blushed. You're like red in the cheek. You're almost as red as the background.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  Oh, god, don't get it snarled.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Where's Jordan gone?

• 49:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. Can you see me? If you open my eyes, can you see me? Oh, I suppose I've got a gym after this.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  Not anymore.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Oh. Thank you for your questions and dilemmas. Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday. And join us tomorrow for an exclusive Help I Sex and My Boss Out of Office episode over on our Patreon.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  No, it's not hmm.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  I had a mouthful of water.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  We'll see you soon. Haunted House tour tomorrow. Friday episode from the Haunted House on Friday.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Friday episode on Friday.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Friday episode on Friday.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Bye-bye.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over a hundred dollars off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 51:01Speaker 05

  It's time. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Halloween. Halloween.

• 51:09Speaker 06

  And you guys know we don't do Halloween by halves.

• 51:11Speaker 05

  Full costume, full prosthetics, full commitment. I'm a rat.

• 51:14Speaker 06

  And I'm the chef. It's our Ratatouille special. Ben, we're grabbing our broomsticks for the witches.

• 51:21Speaker 05

  We've got a spooky hotline caller.

• 51:23Speaker 06

  An update from our woman who was in love with the ghost of Prince Albert.

• 51:27Speaker 05

  And your tarot card dilemmas.

• 51:29Speaker 06

  Listen to our Halloween specials. Search for The Girls Bathroom.