Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss Help I Don't Know Where To POO | And William's In The DOG HOUSE About this episode The boys are feeling very butch today. William’s been getting handy around the house, and Jordan is showing off his darts prowess. The boys also tackle YOUR dilemmas, including using a phone mid-stream at the urinals and which toilet you should use when doing a number two at a friend’s house.
If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected] , and for more Sexted fun sign up https://sextedmyboss.com/newsletter/ to our free VIG&Diva newsletter. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss.
Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production.
If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected] . You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript 10,200 words · 6 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
0:35 Speaker 01 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
0:36 Speaker 02 And I'm Marco Burchella.
0:38 Speaker 01 And this is Boots Off.
0:41 Speaker 02 We are friends who've spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
0:49 Speaker 01 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
0:56 Speaker 02 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
0:59 Speaker 01 The adventures that lead to adversity.
1:01 Speaker 02 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
1:04 Speaker 01 Listen every Thursday, just search for Boots Off.
1:11 Speaker 03 All right, all right, all right. Are we ready?
1:13 Speaker 04 Is it in properly?
1:14 Speaker 03 Thank you, pardon?
1:15 Speaker 04 It looks like it's hanging out.
1:16 Speaker 03 What?
1:16 Speaker 04 Your earpiece.
1:17 Speaker 03 Oh, it is now.
1:19 Speaker 04 Good.
1:19 Speaker 03 Does it make you sneeze when you put stuff in your ears?
1:22 Speaker 04 No, I would actually go and see someone about that.
1:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, every time I put something in my ear, it makes me sneeze.
1:26 Speaker 04 Stop putting things in your ear then.
1:28 Speaker 03 I know, yeah. Well, you get bored, don't you?
1:38 Speaker 03 Hello and welcome to Help I Sexed My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life.
1:44 Speaker 04 It's an insight we didn't need.
1:45 Speaker 03 Answering your, I've never done that. Answering your 21st century questions and finding solutions to everyday dilemmas like, what should you do when your partner thinks it's your job to check his trouser pockets before putting them in the wash? And how do you tell your best friend that they're camping? And how do you tell your?
2:03 Speaker 04 That could work the first time.
2:05 Speaker 03 It's gonna be a long record. And how do you tell your best friend they're cramping your style by going to the same gym as you? And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss best friend? But we're not your usual Agnance, are we? William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert.
2:19 Speaker 04 No, we're not Jordan North, Capital Radio Show presenter. In the gym, I'm more quick set in and out. You're more lingering, flexing, full pout. And that's from Jessica. I like it. That's quite creative, Jessica. Well done.
2:29 Speaker 03 What day are you on this week? I've not seen you.
2:32 Speaker 04 No, I only go once a week.
2:34 Speaker 03 Oh dear. Every time.
2:35 Speaker 04 Once a week's enough for anyone.
2:36 Speaker 03 I do that horrible bit where you've got five seconds, if that, between your towel down and your boxers on. I always think he's gonna walk in any minute. Every time for the past week, I've got like PTSD and.
2:47 Speaker 04 Never forget a face.
2:48 Speaker 03 And I'm not one of those that does the shuffle under the towel. That's just because then it's wet and I think that looks even worse. It all gets tangled and you're like, yeah.
2:57 Speaker 04 You see, I go dressed, ready to go.
3:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, but do you not shower when you leave?
3:02 Speaker 04 No, because then I just go home.
3:03 Speaker 03 Oh, okay. Do you shower at home?
3:04 Speaker 04 I do now. When I used to go before this, I would shower there. But now I'm like, no.
3:08 Speaker 03 It's all part of it. Because then you shower and you feel, after a shower at the gym, you feel great.
3:12 Speaker 04 Yes, I know. I just have that shower at home.
3:13 Speaker 03 Okay.
3:14 Speaker 04 Yeah. Should we do a toast?
3:16 Speaker 03 Yes. Let's have some.
3:19 Speaker 04 We're going to toast what I believe are referred to as the smars and dars. They are listeners to Shaq Maradonoid, which is a podcast we guested on a couple of weeks ago.
3:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's gone down the street.
3:30 Speaker 04 We've had some lovely, I do believe gene divas and smars and dars, that there is in the Venn diagram of podcasts, there's quite a big middle section.
3:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:38 Speaker 04 But if you are a new gene diva and you previously were only a smar and dar, welcome along.
3:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:43 Speaker 04 And if you're a gene diva and you're now a smar and dar, also congratulations.
3:47 Speaker 03 Thank you. That was quite confusing. But to the smars and dars and the gene divas.
3:51 Speaker 04 Yes, up yours.
3:51 Speaker 03 We've had some lovely messages from listeners to Chris and Rosie's podcast.
3:57 Speaker 04 Yes.
3:58 Speaker 03 Yeah. What am I doing, yours and Jonathan's?
4:01 Speaker 04 Well, I mean, we've tried to get you on a few times, love.
4:06 Speaker 03 Okay.
4:07 Speaker 04 Yes, you did just bait me.
4:09 Speaker 03 No, I've only been invited once, but I couldn't make it.
4:11 Speaker 04 Twice.
4:11 Speaker 03 Okay, I'd love to come on. We'll do a mashup.
4:13 Speaker 04 Well, I don't know. We don't.
4:14 Speaker 03 We'll get Jonathan on this. Yeah, I know, but we'll get Jonathan on.
4:19 Speaker 04 Okay. Well, the thing is, because I work with two quite uptight radio presenters.
4:25 Speaker 03 All radio presenters are uptight.
4:26 Speaker 04 My, eventually, in years to come, where I do a third podcast, I'm going to work with someone that who isn't an uptight radio presenter that begins with the letter J, just for a bit of variety.
4:35 Speaker 03 Okay.
4:36 Speaker 04 I'm, Jonathan can only come in for 3.30 and by 3.30 you're asleep. So we have got a little bit of a problem. And it's like, to be honest, you are the one who is more likely to yield than Jonathan.
4:47 Speaker 03 What do you mean yield?
4:49 Speaker 04 You know, comply.
4:50 Speaker 03 Oh, Jonathan won't. Yeah. So I'm not that bad. And all it is is because we record this on a.
4:56 Speaker 04 I love doing the podcast with both of you. I just want to point that out.
4:59 Speaker 03 It's just by, because this is towards the end of the week when we record it, gets to 3.4. I try my best. Gets 3.4.
5:04 Speaker 04 What do you like to do Mondays?
5:05 Speaker 03 I'm non-mute.
5:07 Speaker 04 You're what?
5:07 Speaker 03 Non-verbal.
5:11 Speaker 03 I get home on a Thursday and I am non-verbal.
5:14 Speaker 04 You're on vocal rest?
5:15 Speaker 03 I just like, I'll have like spaghetti hoops on toast and get straight to bed on a Thursday. It's kind of my little routine.
5:20 Speaker 04 With your trifle.
5:21 Speaker 03 That's not true. I've stayed behind. We did the Chris and Rosie Ramsey podcast. That was at like 5, 6pm.
5:26 Speaker 04 Yes.
5:27 Speaker 03 And after the show today, after the podcast.
5:31 Speaker 04 Yeah, what's happening?
5:32 Speaker 03 Guess where I'm going?
5:33 Speaker 04 The gym?
5:34 Speaker 03 I'm going, yeah, if I've got time. I'm going back to work.
5:38 Speaker 04 Well, I do know this because you've just told me.
5:39 Speaker 03 To interview Harry Styles.
5:42 Speaker 04 Golly. Has he got something new out?
5:46 Speaker 03 Has he got, do you live in a bloody?
5:50 Speaker 04 What?
5:50 Speaker 03 A nunnery, whatever they're called.
5:51 Speaker 04 A nunnery, monastery?
5:52 Speaker 03 A monastery.
5:54 Speaker 04 I'd live in a nunnery if I was a nun.
5:55 Speaker 03 He's got a new single out.
5:57 Speaker 04 Has he?
5:57 Speaker 03 At the time of recording at midnight.
5:59 Speaker 04 It's that watermelon sugar?
6:00 Speaker 03 No, it's called.
6:02 Speaker 04 Because that's quite, I've just started listening to that.
6:04 Speaker 03 It's called Aperture.
6:06 Speaker 04 Aperture.
6:07 Speaker 03 Aperture.
6:08 Speaker 04 Aperture. Wouldn't it be hilarious if that is actually what the song was?
6:11 Speaker 03 Do you know what an aperture is?
6:13 Speaker 04 An aperture, it's the opening on a camera.
6:16 Speaker 03 Yes.
6:16 Speaker 04 I believe.
6:16 Speaker 03 It lets the light.
6:17 Speaker 04 I wonder what that's a use for, Harry?
6:19 Speaker 03 He's got that, a new album and a new tour. And I'm interviewing him and I'm really nervous and a bit et up about it.
6:26 Speaker 04 But you've interviewed him before, have you not?
6:27 Speaker 03 I've never met him in my life.
6:28 Speaker 04 You've never met him?
6:28 Speaker 03 I've never interviewed him, no. No.
6:31 Speaker 04 Have you, how many of, obviously Niall, how many of One Direction have you met or interviewed?
6:35 Speaker 03 All of them, but for Harry.
6:37 Speaker 04 Oh, so it's like Happy Families?
6:38 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
6:39 Speaker 04 You can then collect the full house.
6:41 Speaker 03 Am I allowed to ask him if you seen him in the sauna that time?
6:46 Speaker 04 I probably, of all the questions, probably what is a very limited time that you have got to with him, I probably wouldn't even waste your time on that.
6:55 Speaker 03 William's seen him.
6:56 Speaker 04 I don't know if we can say that, Jordan. You are so concerned about.
7:00 Speaker 03 You can. Right. William, we've never talked about it, but William was in a fancy hotel in Berlin. Harry Styles happened to be there. William went to the spa that was in the hotel, saw Harry Styles in the sauna. Yeah.
7:12 Speaker 04 Saw quite a lot of Harry Styles in the sauna, yes.
7:13 Speaker 03 It was Berlin, do the maths.
7:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:15 Speaker 03 Right. You'd be actually, you know, yeah. So I get et up about this stuff. I just got, I just got a bit of a pep talk by Starkey on the way here.
7:25 Speaker 04 Oh, you'll be fine.
7:26 Speaker 03 I'm going back in today and I'll, hopefully my energy reserves will be fine. I'm not digging up roads, I'm fine.
7:32 Speaker 04 No, exactly. It's only talking.
7:33 Speaker 03 Can I make a suggestion?
7:34 Speaker 04 In a microphone, innit? Can I make a suggestion?
7:39 Speaker 03 No.
7:39 Speaker 04 Okay, fine.
7:42 Speaker 03 I'm stressed as it is about it.
7:44 Speaker 04 Okay, fine. Well, I thought my suggestion was going to be very helpful.
7:46 Speaker 03 Fine, go on, give us your suggestion. If there's anything about my hair, please, Tom, because I was gonna.
7:50 Speaker 04 No, no, no, no, no.
7:51 Speaker 03 I've really thought about my outfit today because this is what I'm gonna wear in it and I don't think I've got the right look. And then I've also wore the same trainers that I've seen him in that I bought.
7:59 Speaker 04 Well, it's on Zoom, he won't see your feet.
8:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, but, and now I just think, right, go on.
8:03 Speaker 04 Unless you plan on doing the can-can halfway through the interview.
8:05 Speaker 03 Massively overthinking this, I think, and I'm stressed.
8:09 Speaker 04 On your hair.
8:10 Speaker 03 Mm hmm.
8:11 Speaker 04 You'll have the better hair out of the two of you.
8:13 Speaker 03 That's not nice and that's not fair.
8:15 Speaker 04 You'll be fine.
8:15 Speaker 03 What was your suggestion?
8:16 Speaker 04 My suggestion? Don't go to the gym after this. Go and have a nap. Conserve your... What do you mean you don't have time?
8:23 Speaker 03 It'll be time I get home to come back in. It won't be worth it.
8:25 Speaker 04 Well, then find a sofa.
8:26 Speaker 03 But that is a good suggestion. I might go and get a... There's that little coffee plate on the corner for me.
8:29 Speaker 04 Just reserve your energy.
8:31 Speaker 03 I'll go on that and listen to some Chris Stapleton. I mean, Harry Styles. Sure.
8:35 Speaker 04 Chris Stapleton?
8:36 Speaker 03 I'm really into that. It helps calm me at the moment.
8:38 Speaker 04 Chris Stapleton?
8:38 Speaker 03 You're a... I'm trying to see your whisky. Yeah.
8:41 Speaker 04 Sorry, but Chris Stapleton is like Alex Warren. It sounds like someone who works at an office.
8:45 Speaker 03 What do you mean?
8:46 Speaker 04 He'll come and sort your printer, Chris Stapleton, if you need him.
8:49 Speaker 03 You should probably leave. You should... Makes me want to go and pack all my things and go and work on a ranch in America. Get myself a nice wife and work away on the farm and then go, "I'll have some meatloaf and let's listen to some country music." Just chills me out.
9:04 Speaker 04 Or as they call it over there, music.
9:05 Speaker 03 Mm.
9:06 Speaker 04 Harry Styles fan club over there.
9:08 Speaker 05 Hi, guys.
9:08 Speaker 03 Hi, guys. Oh, yes, Ben, the biggest Harry Styles fan.
9:12 Speaker 05 Well, I'm not sure, but he seems like a nice man. Shall we try and think of some questions that Jordan could ask?
9:19 Speaker 04 Oh, yes.
9:20 Speaker 05 Harry, because obviously you could ask him if he...
9:22 Speaker 04 What's your favourite camera setting?
9:23 Speaker 05 Does he know that William has seen his aperture?
9:26 Speaker 04 It wasn't his aperture. It was his long lens.
9:29 Speaker 03 Can we just... This is why I'm stressed because everyone's trying to like, what are you going to ask him? And I don't know. And then you're just...
9:35 Speaker 04 Hmm.
9:36 Speaker 05 So what about, what about if you could ask him if he, if he's ever tried the day?
9:41 Speaker 03 No, I'm not bringing this world into... I was going to mention Ovaltine, but everyone's like, please don't do that. So that's how I got my stress.
9:48 Speaker 04 Also, he's from the north. Of course he's tried it.
9:50 Speaker 03 But also, I was going to start the interview with, Harry, welcome to Capital Breakfast. For those of our listeners that don't know you, explain who you are.
10:02 Speaker 03 All right, that's not good. That's not the reaction I was hoping for.
10:05 Speaker 04 Why?
10:06 Speaker 03 Is that good?
10:07 Speaker 04 What, Jordan, so no, but in all seriousness, what reaction were you hoping for?
10:09 Speaker 03 Well, I thought it was a bit cheeky.
10:11 Speaker 04 Well, it is. That's why we laughed.
10:13 Speaker 03 Oh, God. Right. Okay. Just. Hmm. Okay.
10:16 Speaker 04 It's like when Dame Edna used to have like really, really famous people on her chat show and she put a name badge on them just in case she forgot their name. It's sort of that. It's that sort of vibe. I quite like it.
10:26 Speaker 05 Can you ask him for some marathon running tips for me?
10:29 Speaker 03 That was probably one of the ideas, but he ran a marathon for three hours.
10:34 Speaker 05 I know he did. It's very quick.
10:36 Speaker 04 Is three hours good?
10:37 Speaker 03 Yes, it's like pro.
10:39 Speaker 04 Okay.
10:39 Speaker 03 He's built like a brick shithouse these days.
10:42 Speaker 04 Yes, I know.
10:44 Speaker 04 I'm very, very familiar with that.
10:45 Speaker 03 Right. Moving on from Harry, it says here, radiators.
10:50 Speaker 04 I've bled my first radiator.
10:51 Speaker 03 Ah, yes, lad.
10:52 Speaker 04 Yes, thank you. Bro, shake that.
10:55 Speaker 03 Chris Ramsey, never give me one, but go on.
10:57 Speaker 04 No, I'll give you one anytime you like.
10:58 Speaker 03 Bled a radiator.
10:59 Speaker 04 Yep.
10:59 Speaker 03 Did you have your tool belt on?
11:01 Speaker 04 No, but I ordered my radiator bleeding key off the internet and it came. I watched several YouTube videos just to make sure I was doing it correctly. And I bled those radiators.
11:12 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:13 Speaker 04 In fact, it turns out none of them needed bleeding, but um, so we had a bit of a wet floor on the first one.
11:18 Speaker 03 Were you meant to put a big?
11:20 Speaker 04 No, just had a little, little flannel.
11:22 Speaker 03 Oh, little flannel, a towel.
11:24 Speaker 04 Um, but yeah, I felt very masculine because it's something I've never done. And previously, I mean, this is first world problems, in my last place, we had underfloor heating, so I didn't get an opportunity to bleed anything. Um, but this place, we have radiators on the wall. I've even, continuing a radiator theme, I've ordered a new radiator to replace one in the upstairs bedroom. Because I don't like it and we're changing the vibe. It's not very aesthetic. So I've ordered a nice.
11:46 Speaker 03 It's a radiator. How can it affect the vibe?
11:49 Speaker 04 No, come on.
11:50 Speaker 03 It's just a radiator.
11:51 Speaker 04 Okay. Well, I'll give you my old radiator then. Get him to stick it in your house and see how you like it.
11:56 Speaker 03 Fine. It's just, oh, well, I don't need any of your radiators.
11:59 Speaker 04 Anyway, I'm hoping I've got the measurements right because otherwise it's a very expensive thing to return.
12:03 Speaker 03 Hmm.
12:04 Speaker 04 And a complicated thing to return.
12:06 Speaker 03 Okay.
12:06 Speaker 04 So my life at the moment is revolving around radiators and I've never felt more butch.
12:10 Speaker 03 Okay, you are. It's very butch. Are you gonna fit it yourself?
12:13 Speaker 04 Don't be stupid. No.
12:14 Speaker 03 Have you ever backed a van in?
12:16 Speaker 04 I'm sorry?
12:16 Speaker 03 Have you ever backed a van in? That's quite butch. I always feel mad when I do that. You're on a van and I go, yeah, air pump. And then you, whoa, stop, whoa. And I go, whoa, no, bit more, bit more. I always feel quite.
12:26 Speaker 04 Do you?
12:27 Speaker 03 What else do you feel manly and butch? What else makes you feel manly and butch? What else? Go on. There's other things. I always feel like when I'm, there's loads of builders at the moment at Global, like we're getting works done.
12:40 Speaker 04 Yes.
12:41 Speaker 03 And I want to nip out.
12:42 Speaker 04 You've had your whole front entrance bashed through.
12:44 Speaker 03 I have. We, we have. And I just go, all right, lads.
12:48 Speaker 04 Are they there at four twenty in the morning?
12:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, about six, seven o'clock. Crafters, builders, straight to one side for half seven, aren't they?
12:54 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay. Um, I don't know what else I feel butch doing. Oh, I put, I put the bins out.
13:00 Speaker 03 That's quite a butch.
13:01 Speaker 04 It's my new exciting job because in our old place, because it was block of flats, we had communal bins. So you just sort of plonked, plonked it in and then it was all dealt with. Um, this, you've got to put your wheelie bin outside. I quite like doing that.
13:11 Speaker 03 Do you think there was for, um, in a couple of weeks, when you are Friday episode, what makes you feel butch? What makes you feel manly? Let us know. Yeah, we'll put it up on our socials. What makes you feel really, do I think what else?
13:24 Speaker 05 There's, there's one, I've, I've got an example, I think.
13:28 Speaker 04 Head of manliness. Off you go.
13:30 Speaker 03 We'll call him butch from now on.
13:31 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's along the same lines as putting out the bins.
13:34 Speaker 04 Okay.
13:35 Speaker 05 Um, but I quite like, we've got a communal bin at the moment for recycling. There's one for recycling. There's one for everything.
13:41 Speaker 04 That's how it works.
13:42 Speaker 05 Yeah. Um, and the recycling one I always, I feel quite manly when I sort of fold my cardboard up properly. You know, you've got a big box and some people just chuck that box in without folding it down.
13:54 Speaker 04 Well, they're sorry.
13:55 Speaker 05 Winds me up.
13:56 Speaker 04 Yeah. And what, what's your cardboard from?
13:59 Speaker 05 What do you mean?
14:00 Speaker 04 Well, what's it come, what's the packaging?
14:01 Speaker 05 Well, it could be Diego's food.
14:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:04 Speaker 05 Could be my food.
14:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:06 Speaker 05 Could be, I just bought myself a new light fitting.
14:09 Speaker 04 Did you?
14:09 Speaker 05 A big box. Yeah.
14:10 Speaker 04 Bayonet or screw fitting?
14:13 Speaker 05 Uh.
14:13 Speaker 03 You're gonna have to get me some matchsticks.
14:16 Speaker 05 Bayonet.
14:17 Speaker 04 Bayonet, lovely.
14:17 Speaker 03 You're gonna have to get me some matchsticks if you want me to listen to the rest of this.
14:21 Speaker 04 Well, Ben, thank you for contributing that.
14:22 Speaker 03 Thank you, Ben. Thank you. I think as well, jet washing, that's quite a butch manly job.
14:26 Speaker 04 Right. You've led on to one thing I was going to say next.
14:29 Speaker 03 Okay.
14:29 Speaker 04 Beautifully, beautiful.
14:30 Speaker 03 Oh, frightened myself.
14:32 Speaker 04 Yes. Um, you know, you've got your jet washer.
14:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, I've not used it yet.
14:37 Speaker 04 You've not used it? You've got it for Christmas.
14:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, but it's not.
14:39 Speaker 04 I'd have been out there immediately.
14:40 Speaker 03 It's not been the right weather.
14:42 Speaker 04 Well, there's no point worrying getting it wet.
14:45 Speaker 03 Oh, I might do it this weekend at the time of recording.
14:47 Speaker 04 Okay, so what I've told you, once you have done it, you need to put on your Wet and Forget, which is the special mould and lichen treatment. Jonathan got me on to it and it'll bring your terrace up beautifully.
14:58 Speaker 03 Okay.
14:58 Speaker 04 And it'll just keep it nice.
14:59 Speaker 03 Is it chemically friendly?
15:01 Speaker 04 Absolutely not. No, it's full of chemicals. It's an Australian product and I thought if nothing else, this next clip, which thank you to Alice for sending me this, is going to convince you, who's your favourite now dead singer that you're obsessed with?
15:16 Speaker 03 Tina. Tina Turner.
15:19 Speaker 04 No, male.
15:20 Speaker 03 Oh, hang on, this is a good game.
15:22 Speaker 04 It's not a good game.
15:23 Speaker 03 Oh, Elvis.
15:24 Speaker 04 Yes, thank you very much. Listen to this advert.
15:27 Speaker 03 Tina.
15:28 Speaker 04 From Wet and Forget a couple of years ago. Thanks to Alice.
15:42 Speaker 04 Catchy.
15:43 Speaker 03 It's not Elvis.
16:01 Speaker 03 That's a good advert.
16:02 Speaker 04 Thank you very much. There we go. Of course, it's not Elvis. Didn't get Elvis to do the Wet and Forget advert. Wet and Forget came out more recently.
16:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, these days can do well.
16:11 Speaker 04 Well, possibly.
16:11 Speaker 03 I watched Abra and they weren't even there.
16:14 Speaker 04 Lazy bastards.
16:15 Speaker 03 I know.
16:15 Speaker 04 But in all seriousness, get it because it is good.
16:20 Speaker 03 Right.
16:20 Speaker 04 But you'd probably put it on in March. You're not doing that in March, so you can find a weekend.
16:24 Speaker 03 Show me how to do it and I'll wet and forget.
16:26 Speaker 04 Well, when you come around, I can show you. You can even borrow my spray bottle if you like.
16:31 Speaker 03 Okay.
16:32 Speaker 04 Ask me what I was doing at 6.30 this morning.
16:34 Speaker 03 What were you doing at 6.30 this morning, William Hanson?
16:36 Speaker 04 I was making the bottom two layers of the trifle that you're going to eat tomorrow.
16:39 Speaker 03 Oh, yes, I'm coming to yours tomorrow. Lots to talk about. You're making us trifle?
16:45 Speaker 04 I've made it. All I need to do is top you with cream tomorrow because if I put it on now, it will, you know, the cream will get too thick. So I'll do it maybe an hour before you turn up.
16:52 Speaker 03 And we're still having meats, sir?
16:53 Speaker 04 Meats, sir? That'll be made fresh tomorrow.
16:55 Speaker 03 Okay.
16:55 Speaker 04 And then trifle.
16:56 Speaker 03 Okay.
16:57 Speaker 04 Trifle and traitors.
16:58 Speaker 03 Trifle and traitors. Talk to me how we're going to do this because what time do you want us around?
17:02 Speaker 04 Well, on that, I can't remember what time I put on the invitation. So could you just tell me what time I wrote?
17:07 Speaker 03 So on your invite?
17:09 Speaker 04 Invitation.
17:10 Speaker 03 Which I seen yesterday, it was very William Hanson, it's from his posh stationery.
17:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, I popped it in the post, I thought, we've got new at home cards.
17:17 Speaker 03 So is this, is this an invitation card you've got now as well?
17:21 Speaker 04 Yeah, because I thought, well, Jordan, we now have correspondence cards, we both have that, and obviously I have to one up you. So I thought I will then commission new at home cards.
17:29 Speaker 03 Okay.
17:30 Speaker 04 So read it out.
17:31 Speaker 03 Says, uh, Mr. William Hanson and Michael Worrell.
17:34 Speaker 04 Mr. Michael Worrell.
17:35 Speaker 03 Oh, Mr. William Hanson and Mr. Michael Worrell.
17:38 Speaker 04 Yes.
17:39 Speaker 03 Request the pleasure of your company. This is Oni Smythson posh stationery card.
17:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:45 Speaker 03 On the 23rd of January 2026 app, I won't read your address.
17:48 Speaker 04 Thanks, 10 Downing Street.
17:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, 10 Downing Street, 7pm, Traitors and Trifle, cloaks and capes. So, what's cloaks and capes?
17:57 Speaker 04 Oh, it's the dress code.
17:58 Speaker 03 Okay.
17:59 Speaker 04 You can only come if you're in a cloak or a cape.
18:00 Speaker 03 Oh, I think I might.
18:01 Speaker 04 Because I have both a cloak and a cape.
18:02 Speaker 03 I think I do have a cloak.
18:03 Speaker 04 Do you? Sorry, where have you, where you have a cloak?
18:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, Traitors one.
18:07 Speaker 04 Oh, I see.
18:08 Speaker 03 Like a fancy dress one. 7pm you want us there for?
18:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:11 Speaker 03 Yeah?
18:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:11 Speaker 03 Traitor starts at 8.
18:13 Speaker 04 Oh, does it?
18:13 Speaker 03 Yes.
18:14 Speaker 04 Catch up?
18:15 Speaker 03 No, because then we'll find out who.
18:19 Speaker 04 Well, not if we're not on our phones.
18:21 Speaker 03 Oh, Jesus, this is going to be stress.
18:23 Speaker 04 Okay, well, because what I thought, what I thought we do, arrive, a little martini reception or something like that, if you'd like. Little tour of the house so you can, you know, see what we've done.
18:33 Speaker 03 See it?
18:33 Speaker 04 No, you haven't seen what we've done, have you?
18:35 Speaker 03 Great.
18:36 Speaker 04 If you want to, you don't have to.
18:37 Speaker 03 Okay.
18:37 Speaker 04 And we can do it afterwards if you like.
18:40 Speaker 04 After the Traitors finishes, we'll have meats at the table and we'll do trifle in the sitting room, watching Traitors. So we're not doing two courses.
18:50 Speaker 03 Great.
18:50 Speaker 04 How does that sound?
18:51 Speaker 03 That sounds great. We'll watch Traitors and Trifle.
18:53 Speaker 04 Also, I think, isn't it 8.30?
18:55 Speaker 03 Is it?
18:56 Speaker 04 No, I can't remember.
18:57 Speaker 03 It's eight, but we'll start at 8.30, so we'll be about a half hour behind.
18:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:59 Speaker 03 Would that be all right?
19:00 Speaker 04 Yeah, and as long as you don't go on your phone, it'll be fine.
19:02 Speaker 03 Okay, um, sounds great.
19:05 Speaker 04 You happy with that?
19:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, he, he's more faces than a town clerk, this man, because he sends his posh stationery invites and talks like this. When I did come into the office today to record, he went, uh, for the, um, dinner tomorrow, can I just ask you, are you allergic to any types of lubricant?
19:23 Speaker 03 I was like, no. I went, good.
19:25 Speaker 04 I thought you said Swiss Navy didn't agree with you.
19:27 Speaker 03 Who's that? Swiss Navy?
19:31 Speaker 03 So, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
19:32 Speaker 04 Good, we are too.
19:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:34 Speaker 04 Very excited.
19:34 Speaker 03 It'll be great. Uh, pizza, trifle and traders. Thank you. And your invitation's very nice. Now, whilst I've got my phone out.
19:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:42 Speaker 03 I've got some clips to play you.
19:43 Speaker 04 Okay.
19:44 Speaker 03 All right. And we'll get them up on socials if we can. So, um, the North family are in the doghouse. The, the, the males in the North family, it was all.
19:53 Speaker 04 Well, that's basically all of you.
19:55 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. It was kicking off in, in the family WhatsApp group on Saturday. So I couldn't go, but, um, Liverpool were playing Burnley.
20:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, I know.
20:04 Speaker 03 Okay. So, um, Wendy and Graham have just moved house. They've moved back to the UK.
20:09 Speaker 04 Oh.
20:11 Speaker 03 And, uh, Graham says to my mum, I'm gonna go to Liverpool game on Saturday.
20:16 Speaker 04 Was it home or away?
20:16 Speaker 03 It was away.
20:17 Speaker 04 So that means at Anfield.
20:18 Speaker 03 It was at Anfield.
20:19 Speaker 04 Get me? Drunken butch, bleeder radiation. Now I know the name of a football ground.
20:23 Speaker 03 So, um, it's, uh, he's kicked off. So Graham says.
20:28 Speaker 04 Well, that's what happens at football.
20:29 Speaker 03 My mum's like, I really don't want you, I really don't want you going. Cause we've got the house to unpack. And my dad went, I'll be back for six, seven o'clock.
20:37 Speaker 04 Oh, I can see where this is going.
20:38 Speaker 03 We'll carry on with packing and we'll get a pizza, right?
20:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:43 Speaker 03 So WhatsApp group's going off about eight o'clock. Wendy's like, I, uh, as your dad's phone gone dead, I've been trying to ring him, can't get hold of him. To which, um, this video was, uh, sent in the group.
21:08 Speaker 03 So that's, um, Graybo.
21:10 Speaker 04 Gosh.
21:10 Speaker 03 Absolutely shitfaced in the pub, singing along to Don't You Want Me?
21:14 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
21:14 Speaker 03 By Human League.
21:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
21:16 Speaker 03 So my mum's.
21:17 Speaker 04 Delighted.
21:18 Speaker 03 Kicking off in the group. Ryan's also not home. Bradley's not home. Bradley's father-in-law's not home as well. So they're all meant to be home. It's kicking off. And my mum sends full capitals, get him home now. So he's put in a taxi.
21:33 Speaker 04 Hmm.
21:34 Speaker 03 Bearing in mind, he's meant to be helping Wendy with the unpacking. I said, I just thought, I'll get my two pennies. I'm not shit. I'm not shit's doing, but then I seen Bradley said, we're on our way now.
21:46 Speaker 04 Hmm.
21:46 Speaker 03 Twenty minutes later, it's meant to be unpacking.
21:49 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
21:49 Speaker 03 My mum sends this voicemail from my dad.
22:04 Speaker 03 That was at seven minutes past nine.
22:06 Speaker 04 Right.
22:07 Speaker 03 He'd been on the piss all day.
22:08 Speaker 04 Okay.
22:08 Speaker 03 So they're all massively, yeah, in the doghouse this week.
22:11 Speaker 04 Well, I, I think I'm on your mother's side.
22:13 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. Don't take sides. That's the worst thing you can do. If you're gonna take sides, take Wendy.
22:17 Speaker 04 I was gonna say.
22:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, but don't ever take sides. Don't ever take sides.
22:21 Speaker 04 No, Wendy, I'm on, I'm on your side.
22:23 Speaker 03 Have you ever been in the doghouse with the other, the other half, William?
22:26 Speaker 04 Not my kid.
22:26 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:27 Speaker 04 Yes.
22:28 Speaker 03 Have you actually?
22:28 Speaker 04 Sometimes on a weekly basis.
22:29 Speaker 03 I can never imagine you in the doghouse.
22:32 Speaker 04 It doesn't last long.
22:33 Speaker 03 No.
22:33 Speaker 04 To be fair, Mike and I can normally resolve an argument in about half an hour.
22:36 Speaker 03 Hmm.
22:37 Speaker 04 Which is, which is nice, but we know, we don't argue that much.
22:39 Speaker 03 That's good.
22:40 Speaker 04 Um, just continuing our butcher manly theme on the gym. Did you see the message in the WhatsApp group last Friday when I went to the gym? I sent you all picture and you were all clear to go in.
22:49 Speaker 03 Oh, great. Do that, please.
22:50 Speaker 04 That's what I'll do now.
22:51 Speaker 03 It's not that, you know what? I love to bits and stuff, but just, I, just you in the gym is, yeah.
22:58 Speaker 04 Do you know what?
22:58 Speaker 03 You give me Wilford in between us vibes.
23:00 Speaker 04 I don't know what that means.
23:01 Speaker 03 Like you came up to me and, hello, feisty one you are.
23:05 Speaker 04 I did not say that.
23:07 Speaker 03 It was all a bit weird, with your little short shorts on.
23:09 Speaker 04 Do you know what would be funny?
23:12 Speaker 04 What we'll do one Friday, when you're going to the gym, is it won't just be me there. I'll bring in the entire team can be in the gym.
23:18 Speaker 03 That's my me time in the gym.
23:21 Speaker 04 Well, how about me? And me, I don't bother other than saying hello to you, which I would like to say is courteous.
23:26 Speaker 03 Thing is now, I, I go in there and I know we're talking about that. I have friends in there. So every time I go in, I'm like, it's actually 10 minutes to get on a machine because I'm chatting away to everyone. Which is nice, but.
23:35 Speaker 04 Well, so hang on. So you've made friends, so yet it's my problem.
23:38 Speaker 03 I don't mind. Look, it's, it's a free country. You're a member of this gym as well.
23:42 Speaker 04 It was before you.
23:43 Speaker 03 No, I, I think you'll find I was before you. So I went way before you.
23:48 Speaker 04 Say otherwise.
23:48 Speaker 03 I went way before you. So I was.
23:51 Speaker 04 So I could actually swing for you.
23:54 Speaker 03 Give it your best shot, bitch. Now you've been working out.
23:57 Speaker 04 Yes.
23:58 Speaker 03 No, I went first, did I not? Anyway, that doesn't matter. When are you going this week?
24:03 Speaker 04 Tomorrow.
24:04 Speaker 03 What time?
24:06 Speaker 04 Um, 10.
24:08 Speaker 03 Alright.
24:08 Speaker 04 So I might see you at the end.
24:10 Speaker 03 Okay.
24:10 Speaker 04 Yeah. You can come up to me whilst I've got my trousers around my whatever.
24:15 Speaker 03 Your box is around your.
24:16 Speaker 04 Yeah, I will be sharing tomorrow because I've got a meeting afterwards.
24:18 Speaker 03 Great. Super. Okay. Alright. Traitors and trifle.
24:23 Speaker 04 Yes, we have a lovely time.
24:24 Speaker 03 I'm looking forward to it. So we do.
24:26 Speaker 04 You'll have a lot of meat tomorrow, won't you?
24:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:30 Speaker 05 And a lot of meat.
24:31 Speaker 04 Hmm.
24:33 Speaker 03 And then a couple of weeks later, we're all going away for my birthday as well, aren't we?
24:36 Speaker 04 Yes, we are. It'll be lovely. Can't wait already.
24:40 Speaker 03 Shall we do Jordan's Jolly Joke of the Week?
24:43 Speaker 04 Indeed. Here's the jingle.
24:44 Speaker 03 Here we go.
25:02 Speaker 03 Alright, uh, this one was sent in from Mason King. He says, I went to the doctors the other day to get a prostate exam. The doctor asked me to drop my pants and started rooting around. He started with a worried look on his face, and I'll tell you the punchline after the break.
25:20 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from Ted's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared, and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding, and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing, and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over a hundred dollars off your first year at camtasia pro dot com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams. The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and.
25:58 Speaker 01 Ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life, plus experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the midpoint.
26:23 Speaker 03 All right, Jane Devers, thanks for sticking with us. It's time for Jordan's Jelly Joke of the Week. This week it's from Mason King. He says, I went to the doctors the other day to get a prostate exam. The doctor asked me to drop my pants and started rooting around. He stopped all of a sudden with a worried look on his face and he said, unfortunately, you'll have to stop masturbating. When I asked why, he said, because I'm trying to give you a prostate exam.
26:46 Speaker 04 Now, my rating for that out of 10, seeing as you rated my achi chitamology last week, I would say that's a seven and a half.
26:52 Speaker 03 Okay. I once went for prostate exam.
26:56 Speaker 04 I know this.
26:57 Speaker 03 No, I told, but I've had another one since and the doctor said to me, right, move your pants and bend over the table and puts the glove on, puts the glove on and loop. Yeah. And as he's got his finger in his probe, he says, don't get an erection, Dave. Don't get an erection, Dave. I said, my name's Jordan. He said, no, I'm Dave.
27:18 Speaker 04 I'm going to give that a four because I have heard that before on this podcast.
27:23 Speaker 03 Okay.
27:25 Speaker 03 Right.
27:27 Speaker 04 Two prostate related jokes.
27:28 Speaker 03 Well, I once went as well.
27:30 Speaker 04 Oh, three.
27:31 Speaker 03 Going in, I went, oh, you could have taken your ring off. He says, it's not my ring, it's my watch.
27:36 Speaker 04 Also a four. Also heard that before.
27:39 Speaker 03 Any more prostate jokes?
27:41 Speaker 04 I don't know. Can we squeeze another one in?
27:43 Speaker 03 Whee.
27:44 Speaker 04 Thank you very much.
27:46 Speaker 05 Can we have an overall rating for the jokes?
27:50 Speaker 04 Six, because those two fours brought it down a bit.
27:53 Speaker 05 Seven?
27:54 Speaker 03 Seven.
27:55 Speaker 04 No, six.
27:58 Speaker 04 We've got just over eight weeks to go until our UK arena tour begins. We've been getting a lot of questions about it. Why are you doing it, being one of them?
28:08 Speaker 03 Why am I going for another costume fitting this week on the busiest week of my life?
28:11 Speaker 04 Well, you're not actually. You text me yesterday going, is this absolutely necessary? So.
28:15 Speaker 03 I knew that was a hand grenade.
28:21 Speaker 04 It's an absolute delight. And I just went, we'll talk about this tomorrow, shall we?
28:26 Speaker 03 I knew it. With the breakfast team, there's one thing they say, if they say, please stop saying it because it's just a hand grenade. I go, guys, I think we're overthinking it and partly wise everyone up. So were you when I went, is this absolute necessary?
28:43 Speaker 03 Is that one of the questions?
28:44 Speaker 04 What?
28:45 Speaker 03 That people are asking.
28:46 Speaker 04 What?
28:46 Speaker 03 Why is Jordan going for his fifth costume fitting?
28:49 Speaker 04 It's your first.
28:50 Speaker 03 Second.
28:51 Speaker 04 You got measured. That's not a fitting.
28:54 Speaker 03 Carry on.
28:55 Speaker 04 Anyway, all is good. We've been getting a lot of questions about it, so we're going to do a quick run through. I'm going to put arsenic in your trifle. We're going to arsenic. Yeah, we're going to go through some of these questions, but there will also be more on our social channels around the time of the tour. So if your question isn't answered here, keep an eye on there. Ezra, who is the son in this question, says, how safe is it for mother and son?
29:25 Speaker 03 Many do go.
29:26 Speaker 04 Many go.
29:27 Speaker 03 Many go.
29:28 Speaker 04 Many young men do take their mothers.
29:30 Speaker 03 If you would watch Game of Thrones or heated rivalry with your mum, then you sound.
29:37 Speaker 04 Yes, I mean, Jordan and I, we're not, we're not bumming on stage.
29:41 Speaker 03 No, no, you'll be fine. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.
29:45 Speaker 04 No, it really isn't that bad. Georgia has asked, my boyfriend has never listened. How should I sum up the boys and the tour in one sentence?
29:52 Speaker 03 We get this a lot. We always get this on every show. People are dragged along that have never even listened to the podcast or. Send a clip on TikTok or anything.
30:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:03 Speaker 03 So show them this clip now or play them this bit, you'll be fine. After five, 10 minutes, you'll get it, jump straight in, you'll be totally fine, you won't be the only person there. And we won't like single you out and stuff.
30:13 Speaker 04 No, and as we said before, it's not high art.
30:15 Speaker 03 No.
30:16 Speaker 04 Okay, it's not some sort of big concept you've got to get.
30:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, so, and we promise you as well, there's so many people that come along that have been dragged along and then end up loving it and then just listen to the podcast.
30:26 Speaker 04 And I. A fun night, a nice night's entertainment.
30:29 Speaker 03 No, a proper good night out is how I'm seeing it. It's just genuinely, it will be a proper good night out.
30:35 Speaker 04 We are going to put on a show and I can assure you, hence why we have these much discussed and apparently controversial costume fittings. Okay, we're gonna have a good time.
30:44 Speaker 05 In the words of Sean Wildbe.
30:46 Speaker 04 It's podcast meets.
30:49 Speaker 05 Panto.
30:50 Speaker 04 Podcast meets panto meets bongo's bingo.
30:52 Speaker 03 Meets Saturday Night Takeaway.
30:54 Speaker 04 Oh, okay, although still on, so.
30:57 Speaker 05 Meets star in their eyes.
30:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, okay.
31:01 Speaker 04 Claire has said, can we come in fancy dress?
31:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
31:05 Speaker 04 If you want to.
31:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, come in fancy dress, be like the darts.
31:10 Speaker 04 This is not, Jordan, I'm not doing anything. This is like the darts.
31:12 Speaker 03 Genuinely getting worried about how good I am at darts.
31:15 Speaker 04 Okay, well, we're not doing that on stage.
31:17 Speaker 03 Seriously, like to the point where I might have to just quit everything and become a darts player. No, I'm serious. I am bashing out 100, 140 average, honestly.
31:28 Speaker 04 Is that good?
31:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, I got some new darts, right, over Christmas. It's frightening, Ben. Even now, I'll go and make a brew, put kettle on, just pick them up and bash, bash, bash, 140. Seriously, I might have to quit all this and become a darts player.
31:43 Speaker 04 Okay.
31:43 Speaker 05 Chuck it all in for danger. What, what could people come in and fancy dress? I could see them in Diego costumes.
31:49 Speaker 04 You could come dressed as either, I don't want people turning up in dog costumes, Ben.
31:54 Speaker 05 Why not?
31:55 Speaker 04 No, they could come dressed as either Jordan or William.
31:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, or just usually come, it's fancy dress, do what you want. I went to.
32:02 Speaker 04 Well, it's not fancy dress. You can come dressed in smart casual.
32:05 Speaker 03 But if you're doing it, I went to, I was meant to go to a fancy dress party over Christmas, but I was ill and the theme was head up.
32:12 Speaker 04 I'm sorry.
32:13 Speaker 03 So it had to be from the head up, had to be interesting from the head up. I was just gonna get like the Mike Tyson tie, but people went with like Mad Hatter's hats.
32:21 Speaker 04 Okay, yeah.
32:22 Speaker 03 Easter bonnets.
32:22 Speaker 04 Harry Potter scar.
32:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
32:24 Speaker 04 Tiara.
32:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, that kind of thing. So head up.
32:27 Speaker 04 Okay, that's an interesting thing. What kind of underwear should we be throwing on to the stage? Boxers, briefs? And that's from Flotschy.
32:35 Speaker 03 I, I've never had knickers thrown at me.
32:38 Speaker 04 Clean?
32:39 Speaker 03 Yeah, as long as they're.
32:39 Speaker 04 Can I just say clean?
32:40 Speaker 03 As long as they're clean, but yeah, as long as they're clean, we're not bothered.
32:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:44 Speaker 03 Yeah. Jock straps?
32:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, as long as they're clean. I don't mind. I just need them to be clean. Okay? I know some people are into all that. I'm not one of them.
32:53 Speaker 03 Mad to think that like.
32:55 Speaker 04 You also don't need to throw.
32:56 Speaker 03 Tom Jones's day, some girl would be in the crowd and go, here, hold this.
33:02 Speaker 03 Take her knickers off and then throw them at, at her. Like, when did that become a thing?
33:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's not something I want to encourage necessarily, but thank you for asking that question. Michael and lots of others have asked, what time will the show end? I don't want to miss the last train home. Can we say midnight?
33:17 Speaker 03 No.
33:17 Speaker 04 It's a joke.
33:18 Speaker 03 The show will end around 10pm.
33:21 Speaker 04 Yes.
33:21 Speaker 03 Around just before 10pm, if not earlier. No later than 10. Let's go there. God, I don't go, oh, frown houses. No later than 10.
33:28 Speaker 04 It depends how many jolly jokes the week Jordan decides to do.
33:31 Speaker 03 Okay.
33:31 Speaker 04 If Jordan decides to just to continue, then it might, you know, you might need to clear the next day. Obviously, do allow enough time to leave the arena when planning transfer accommodation. That's what we would say. Tia, who wants her first one at Sexton Live, plus many others, asks, will the venues be serving G and D?
33:52 Speaker 03 This is, I, from the years we've been touring, this is one I purposely stay out of because there's enough going on. But yes, they will be serving G and D. There's venues in the past that have got like one bottle of the Bonnet in, thinking that it's like whisky.
34:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:07 Speaker 03 And then there's other venues that have got 200 bottles in.
34:11 Speaker 04 Hmm.
34:11 Speaker 03 And then I've gone, oh, we're not going to sell this out.
34:13 Speaker 04 Just your guest list.
34:13 Speaker 03 And have sold out within 30 minutes. So.
34:17 Speaker 04 We have asked for them to provide.
34:19 Speaker 03 We've asked for them.
34:19 Speaker 04 They have said they will.
34:20 Speaker 03 We've told them that it's what everyone are drinking, you know, that kind of thing. We don't have a say on the prices as well. Do you remember once I was bartering them down? I went, you can't charge them that. You all take the piss. I was looking out for our listeners. Like, George, you're on in 10 minutes. I'm going, come on, knock a quid off that, pal. So people work hard. Stu's going, just leave him alone. I'm like, can I speak to manager? Come on, let's get that down. Knock a quid. Meet me at 50p.
34:48 Speaker 04 The Martin Lewis of gin and debonnet.
34:51 Speaker 03 I was, I was. But I'm, I'm, I think I can say this. I'm pretty sure every gig we've done, we've sold out of gin and debonnet. So get in fast, get in early.
35:00 Speaker 04 Particularly that Bristol show when they had two bottles. Yes.
35:02 Speaker 03 Was it the only two bottles?
35:04 Speaker 04 It was very easy to sell out that night.
35:05 Speaker 03 Oh, God.
35:06 Speaker 05 There's not, there's not a lot of D to go round, is there?
35:08 Speaker 04 No, no, not at all. And finally, Fran has said, how many song and dance numbers are we doing?
35:16 Speaker 03 Will that be telling? We're doing, we're doing a few.
35:19 Speaker 04 Okay.
35:19 Speaker 03 Yeah. Hence the fucking costume film. I've got a cartoon, that's weird.
35:23 Speaker 04 Jordan?
35:24 Speaker 03 Is this absolutely necessary?
35:28 Speaker 04 Also.
35:28 Speaker 05 Do you, do you, do you want to fit into it?
35:32 Speaker 04 Just for context, everybody, just for context, because a grenade has been launched and.
35:39 Speaker 03 Put a few in there now.
35:40 Speaker 04 Right, Jordan, I'm going to explode all over you because you have thrown the grenade. I even went, shut up.
35:52 Speaker 03 Boom.
35:53 Speaker 04 I said, the costume designer can come to your house. We literally are going, it's a 15 minute try on the thing. I can't make this any easier for you. If you want us to undress you whilst you lie in bed, we will do that. And still, we got, is this absolutely necessary?
36:12 Speaker 04 But I was fine with it.
36:13 Speaker 03 Okay.
36:13 Speaker 04 And haven't, haven't moaned to anyone about it since you sent me that message.
36:18 Speaker 03 Now it's time for your questions and dilemmas. Remember, if you need our help with something, then get in touch. You can send your tales of trepidation to [email protected] . If you've got any questions about the tour as well, get in touch. We're more than happy to answer them. Tickets still available on our website, sexwithmyboss.com/live. And remember, you can DM us at any point. We're at Sex with My Boss on socials or. You come right to William Hansen, who in the fullness of time promises a handwritten reply on one of our luxury greeting cards with executive self-seal envelopes. The address for that is on the website, sexwithmyboss.com.
36:49 Speaker 04 All I say is, it's not necessary. But if you look like a tit on stage because you didn't go for it, it's on you, not on me.
36:54 Speaker 03 Well, that'll be part of the fun.
36:55 Speaker 04 Okay, fine, fine. No, that's absolutely fine. I think that's a great idea. Our first dilemma is from Abby. Hi, William and Jordan, EPB and the team too. I'm hoping you can settle a disagreement between me and my husband, Ben. It concerns the correct etiquette when house guests need the loo, particularly for poos. I believe, here we are again. I believe guests should use the downstairs loo if one's available, of course, whereas Ben thinks it's better to go upstairs, out of the way, especially if he needs a poo. To me, if there's a downstairs loo, bypassing it to use the facilities upstairs feels like an invasion of the host's personal space. Which of us do you agree with? He listens to the pod, so if you're on my side, do give him a telling off. Thanks, lads. We're already looking forward to seeing you in Manchester. Best wishes, Abby.
37:36 Speaker 03 Well, it's your house. It's making you feel uncomfortable about your personal space. Ultimately, it's your house, your rules. I'd be like, there's the toilet downstairs, or there's one on...
37:46 Speaker 04 Upstairs.
37:48 Speaker 03 Upstairs.
37:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:49 Speaker 05 And then there's another one.
37:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, but I do-
37:51 Speaker 05 And then there's another one, and then there's another one.
37:53 Speaker 04 You can't go, right, oh, I need a poo. Which bathroom would you like me to use?
37:56 Speaker 03 It can if you're from up north.
37:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, but if you're not-
37:58 Speaker 03 You would generally go, um, yeah.
38:00 Speaker 04 But I do, you can't, and you can't just automatically walk upstairs as if it's your right, because you, you want to, you know, save the downstairs loo. In our downstairs loo, though, we have, and people can use it for whatever they want to do in there, we have got little poo drops there.
38:17 Speaker 03 They don't work.
38:18 Speaker 04 Yes, they do.
38:19 Speaker 03 Do you know what works?
38:21 Speaker 04 You test it out tomorrow night.
38:22 Speaker 03 Room spray, or ousted.
38:24 Speaker 04 Oust.
38:25 Speaker 03 Oust, ousted.
38:26 Speaker 04 Oust, isn't it?
38:27 Speaker 03 Ousted is good for shits.
38:28 Speaker 04 I'm not having an air of soul in my downstairs loo. Thank you very much.
38:33 Speaker 03 I would say personally, if you, I'd say to your host, discreetly, just, I'm gonna pop upstairs, I need number two. Am I right to go upstairs? And they'll be like, yeah, fine.
38:43 Speaker 04 Okay.
38:44 Speaker 03 Just, when you say upstairs, make sure you go in the toilet, oh shit, on the bed or all.
38:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, I would say downstairs was absolutely fine. So I'm, I'm with.
38:53 Speaker 03 No, not if there's a guest there.
38:55 Speaker 04 Well, it depends how far away the loo is from, you know, the action. Ben, what did you, um, you came over, uh, to my house last.
39:03 Speaker 03 Cheers on my invite.
39:04 Speaker 04 You're coming over tomorrow.
39:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I wanted to be there with my friend.
39:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:08 Speaker 03 And his wife.
39:09 Speaker 05 You should, you should have said, and her husband. That you would have been talking about my, my.
39:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:15 Speaker 05 Yeah. What was the question?
39:16 Speaker 04 Did you, which, did you use the loo at any point?
39:20 Speaker 05 Yes.
39:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:21 Speaker 03 What a weird question.
39:22 Speaker 04 Upstairs or downstairs?
39:24 Speaker 05 Downstairs.
39:24 Speaker 04 Yeah. And it was fine. Did you feel uncomfortable?
39:27 Speaker 05 No.
39:27 Speaker 04 No, exactly. So I don't, I don't think there's any, anything wrong with that. Talk, actually, talking of him coming over, what absolutely triggered me and I thought, literally, it's half an hour before everyone's due to arrive. And I, Ben and I have got each other on fine friends and I look on fine friends and he's at home in, you know, East London. I'm like, he's not going to get here in a half an hour if he hasn't left. So you know me, I'm relaxed to the core. What did I do? Passive aggressively texts going, would you like me to put a bowl of water down for Diego? Thinking, oh, I'll then get some sort of text. Yeah, we're running late, et cetera. This literally, it is a physical impossibility unless he's taking a helicopter to get from where he is to where I am.
40:09 Speaker 04 It's getting like quarter past seven, still at home. I'm like, right, I'm going to have to adjust all my timings. This is a complete disaster. He's left his phone.
40:17 Speaker 03 I could have told you that because I could see that coming from a mile off.
40:20 Speaker 04 Well, I didn't because also it's, and to Ben, I say this with a love, it's on brand.
40:24 Speaker 03 Um, what?
40:27 Speaker 04 I could see, I thought, cat's not home yet. He can't leave.
40:30 Speaker 03 When have I ever turned up late to anything?
40:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
40:34 Speaker 03 It's not on brand.
40:36 Speaker 04 Anyway.
40:36 Speaker 03 What did you make for him?
40:38 Speaker 04 Uh, he had burnt aubergine chilling.
40:40 Speaker 03 Oh yeah. Oh God, Jeff. Yeah. Next question.
40:42 Speaker 04 Which I had the next night. It was, I thought it was very nice. Our next dilemma is from Laura. Can I also say, I know exactly what you're going to do with this trifle tomorrow. You are going to sit there and you're going to go, oh, it's lovely. It's lovely. And then we're going to come back here on Thursday and you're going to slag it off.
40:54 Speaker 03 I'm not, I won't, I'm not that rude. I'm your friend.
40:57 Speaker 04 Or, or give it five years and just like the tuna steak is going to be thrown in my face.
41:01 Speaker 03 Can't eat tuna steak.
41:02 Speaker 04 No, I know you can't.
41:03 Speaker 03 You put me off it for life. It's like chewing an old boot.
41:09 Speaker 05 Can you imagine if William puts you off trifle for life?
41:11 Speaker 03 Hear me out, right? And I'll tell you this, and this is a northern thing, right? You and me, mate, right? I'll tap piss out, yeah, and I might say something, but I won't let anyone else tap piss out, yeah.
41:20 Speaker 04 Bless you.
41:21 Speaker 03 And if somebody else said out about your food, I'd have a right pop at them, because you're a lovely house.
41:25 Speaker 04 Thank you.
41:26 Speaker 03 Right? We're mates. I can tap piss, but no one else can.
41:29 Speaker 04 Bless you. Bosch.
41:31 Speaker 03 And you, I'm looking forward to your trifle.
41:38 Speaker 03 Do the next question!
41:39 Speaker 04 I'm literally gonna put arsenic in it. Our next story was from Laura. "Hey, Jordan, Willie, me, PB and the Sexter Team, I'm writing on behalf of my boyfriend, who's found himself in a bit of an awkward splash zone of social uncertainty. He was at the urinal the other day when the guy next to him decided that was the perfect time to pull out his phone and start texting. Not a quick glance either, full on typing, one hand doing the Lord's work, the other handling business of a very different kind. Now he's been wondering, and honestly, so have I, is this normal now? Is checking your phone mid-stream socially acceptable? Or are we still living in a world where that's weird? He didn't know whether to say something, pretend it wasn't happening, or just flush and flee. We figured the Sexter Team might be the best source of truth here. Thanks, Laura."
42:22 Speaker 03 Is that weird? I do that all the time.
42:23 Speaker 04 It's disgusting.
42:24 Speaker 03 Is it?
42:25 Speaker 04 Absolutely vile.
42:26 Speaker 03 Oh, I do that all the time.
42:27 Speaker 04 Especially if you're not wiping down your phone when you get home.
42:29 Speaker 03 Well, you're just having a wee and you think, oh, just have a quick look.
42:36 Speaker 04 It's, it's just absolutely grim.
42:38 Speaker 03 No.
42:39 Speaker 04 Do you have a phone sanitizer?
42:42 Speaker 03 Sure.
42:43 Speaker 04 We do. So we get home and we pop it in and it goes, and it drops it down and then like, does it for like 20 seconds, then pops it back up.
42:49 Speaker 03 Wipe it down with a J-cloth, like.
42:50 Speaker 04 You can do that as well if you want to. This saves time.
42:54 Speaker 03 A phone sanitizer?
42:55 Speaker 05 I, I, I doubt that phone sanitizer of yours. I've seen it. I doubt it does anything.
43:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:00 Speaker 05 It's just like a hole and the phone just drops down into a hole, comes back up and you think, oh, it's clean now. Absolutely not.
43:07 Speaker 03 Do you know what? I'm gonna wipe me phone down after this. In fact, can I have the wipes, please? I'm gonna wipe me phone down.
43:11 Speaker 04 They're makeup wipes.
43:12 Speaker 03 No, there's, there's some.
43:13 Speaker 04 Oh, those. Okay, fine.
43:14 Speaker 03 I'm gonna wipe me phone down. It's a good shower.
43:16 Speaker 04 But please don't use your phone as a rinal.
43:18 Speaker 03 Apparently that's not the normal, and I won't do that anymore if that's disgusting.
43:21 Speaker 04 It is disgusting.
43:22 Speaker 03 I won't.
43:23 Speaker 04 It's, it's, oh, no. Anyone that does that and think that's normal needs the head examining. This dilemma is from anonymous. Hi William and Jordan. I've gotten into the habit of taking my slippers to my mum and brother's houses when I visit, as it feels more comfortable and homely. Since then, I've extended this to my best friend's house, and he does the same when coming to mine.
43:40 Speaker 03 That's quite sweet.
43:41 Speaker 04 I now find myself wanting to take my slippers to more and more friends' houses, but I feel there must be some sort of socially acceptable limit on which friends' homes this is appropriate for. Recently, a couple of friends have had some slightly odd reactions, but I genuinely don't think I'm doing anything wrong. While it might be unusual, I feel it should be fine. I want to know, is this considered poor etiquette in any way, or is it actually acceptable? Thanks, lads.
44:03 Speaker 03 No, I don't know why you're a non for that. We've had worse letters than that, and they've put their names on. I, I think that's quite nice, because, like, sometimes when you go to your mates, they're like, oh, keep your shoes on, which is fine. But then, others, if you're just going around, it's used to, and you're not set in, you don't want your shoes on, aren't set in, do you? So, I quite like that. I might take some little slippers. What about little slipper socks? That could be nice. You know, little slipper socks you get?
44:26 Speaker 04 Slipper socks?
44:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, they're like socks that are slippers. You know, the ones that you get for Christmas? Little slipper socks, like roll up into a ball?
44:32 Speaker 04 No.
44:33 Speaker 03 You know what I mean, don't you? Slipper socks are great. You can wash them, you put them in a washing machine. They're socks that are slippers.
44:41 Speaker 05 They're just socks.
44:42 Speaker 04 I just think that's, I don't know what you're on about.
44:44 Speaker 03 They're slipper socks. Jesus Christ, man. You'll love them.
44:49 Speaker 04 I don't know, but I get very hot feet.
44:51 Speaker 03 Oh, remind me to get some slipper socks.
44:53 Speaker 04 Bring yours tomorrow.
44:54 Speaker 03 What size shoe are you?
44:55 Speaker 04 Nine.
44:57 Speaker 03 Not true, what they're saying, then.
44:59 Speaker 04 No, because you're a nine as well.
45:01 Speaker 03 I'm eight and a half, actually.
45:02 Speaker 04 Oh, that explains it. But no, in answer to that question, I think it's fine for family, if it's, if it's a socially acceptable thing. But it, yeah, I just wouldn't like, if Ben and Kat and everyone else had turned up to dinner and all brought their slippers, I'd be like, it's not, it's not, it's not a slumber party.
45:18 Speaker 03 Fess.
45:18 Speaker 04 It's a dinner party. This next dilemma is from Claire and Andy. Hi, boys. We have moved from a flat where we didn't need to put our bin out. Oh, my God. Put our bin out. This is my area of expertise. We didn't need to put our bin out to a house where we do, and there is one neighbour who puts their bin out between seven and eight AM the day before bin day. Our bin day is a Thursday. Thursday and Wednesday is normally our to help work. Myself and my partner both work in hospitality. We work crazy hours and would like a long line until at least 10am on our day off, but we hear them putting their bin out over 24 hours before it is due to be collected. It's disturbing our sleep on our first day off. Should we send them a letter asking them to put it out later in the afternoon if they wish to put their bin out the day before? It disturbs our sleep and also makes us think we have missed bin day and are a day ahead.
46:03 Speaker 04 Please let us know your thoughts. We will always listen to your podcast, especially on long journeys, Claire and Andy.
46:08 Speaker 03 I think that's a great idea, Claire and Andy. Write a letter.
46:11 Speaker 04 What?
46:12 Speaker 03 But then just suggest saying, it wakes us up. We don't mean to be those neighbours. Could we suggest that we put your bin out as well?
46:19 Speaker 04 Okay, well, I don't mind that suggestion. My other suggestion, earplugs.
46:22 Speaker 03 No, it's our house. And other people will be listening going, oh, shut up. But when you like work shifts and stuff, you sleep and that little line is very important. And you're going to begrudge that over the years. You think, I'm going to shove that bastard bin up his arse, fucking sideways one of these days. So I think you write a nice letter and say, hey, I know this sounds a bit pedantic.
46:43 Speaker 03 Blah, blah, blah.
46:44 Speaker 04 I wouldn't do it via a letter.
46:45 Speaker 03 Exactly what you've put here, or even pop round.
46:48 Speaker 04 Yeah, I just catch them, you know, or catch them out by chance, you know, when you're outside.
46:52 Speaker 03 Because they might, if they were like me, I'd be like, oh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I'm mortified.
46:58 Speaker 04 But also, can I say, Claire and Andy, and I'm saying this with love, and I'm sure you're lovely people. I don't know how many people live on the street, but you're not the main character.
47:05 Speaker 03 That's not main character. I always call that main character energy. And that's not main character. This is people's sleep, man. Sleep's everything. Come on.
47:11 Speaker 04 But use earplugs.
47:13 Speaker 03 Foxes at the moment, satly foxes at night, screeching. It sounds like, and I live near a cemetery, so it sounds like ghosts. And apparently these bollocks, they've got barbed wire knobs.
47:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, I don't think that's true. No.
47:27 Speaker 04 Earplugs is what I would suggest, or don't write them a letter, just catch them. I like the idea, though, we will put your bin out for you. I think that's very nice. Because also they could be putting their bin out early because on that day, they are then working away and they're away overnight. There could be a whole host of reasons they're doing it. They're not necessarily super keen to put their bins out.
47:45 Speaker 03 So is that one person on the street that everyone relies on for the bin? Because you forget, especially around Christmas.
47:51 Speaker 04 I think I might be that neighbour.
47:52 Speaker 03 You think, oh.
47:53 Speaker 04 My street.
47:53 Speaker 03 Yeah. Noreen and Steve have got their bin out. Let's put them out.
47:57 Speaker 04 Have you printed off your bin collection calendar?
48:00 Speaker 03 No.
48:01 Speaker 04 Oh, you see, oh, I do. It's on the back of our door. So I know what day to put out what bin. So exciting. I love putting out bins. It's so exciting. I've got three. I've got my green waste bin, which I paid separately for, for the council. I've got my blue and I've got my-
48:15 Speaker 03 You have to pay for your own bin?
48:16 Speaker 04 Yeah. Well, it's called council tax.
48:19 Speaker 03 I was gonna say, you pay for your own bin. You pay council tax.
48:21 Speaker 04 Yeah, but if you then want a garden waste bin, that's a separate charge.
48:24 Speaker 03 Oh, bollocks. I bet you're top council. Oh, they bug me, these councils, do they? I've just been fined-
48:29 Speaker 04 Oh, Martin Lewis is off again.
48:31 Speaker 03 On my street-
48:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:32 Speaker 03 For being in a yellow box and I weren't in it, in it. It was like me tyres. Because some knobhead in front wouldn't move his car. So I've been, and it's right on end of my street. It's all they want, your money. Everyone wants you to sound like me dad. God, I sound like me dad.
48:47 Speaker 04 Well, we all turn into our parents. Anyway, thank you for all your questions and dilemmas.
48:50 Speaker 03 Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before, anywhere else on Global Player. And you can watch us on YouTube as well. We put the full episodes on every release day. Just head to YouTube and search for Sexted.
49:02 Speaker 04 We'll see you on Friday.
49:03 Speaker 03 Goodbye.
49:06 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
49:41 Speaker 01 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask, what's next? I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life. Plus, experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the Midpoint.
Previous Europeans LOVE To Get Their B*llocks Out | And The Weirdest Places YOU’VE Listened To Us Next Eating WHAT In BED!? | And William’s Got The ICK Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated