Europeans LOVE To Get Their B*llocks Out | And The Weirdest Places YOU’VE Listened To Us

William and Jordan discuss your stories involving wild delivery drivers, unexpected moments of nudity, and whether it’s ever OK to wear pyjamas when going to a drive-thru. Plus, they hear from some G&Divas who want to know whether your 20s or your 30s are better - and whether a strange rumour about Jordan is actually true. If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected], and for more Sexted fun sign up https://sextedmyboss.com/newsletter/ to our free VIG&Diva newsletter. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production. If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared, and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding, and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing, and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  It's time. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Halloween.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  And you guys know we don't do Halloween by halves. Full costume, full prosthetics, full commitment. I'm a rat. And I'm the chef. It's our Ratatouille special. Ben, we're grabbing our broomsticks for the witches. We've got a spooky hotline caller. An update from our woman who was in love with the ghost of Prince Albert. And your tarot card dial letters. Listen to our Halloween specials, search for The Girl's Bathroom.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  Hello and welcome to our Friday episode. This is where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week, random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on, and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful G and D'ivas. What you want to see this weekend? I am having my first drink after Damp Jan. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So it'll be my first drink. Guinness? I'm gonna go, well, there's a little pub near me. Yeah. Okay, I found it on a walk, it's a tiny little pub. Have I told you about it? Is it where you had to pull your own pint? No, that was the one where I seen Freddy. Yeah. It's a little pub, right? And all that, that's all there is around you is pubs, I think. It's a proper doc, there's a big hospital next to it. Okay. I won't say what one is because it's right near me house. And there are a lot of doctors and nurses going there. And I found it by accident, walked in. I'm gonna have a Victoria Malaga.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  I'm sorry. Which is a Spanish beer they serve in Spain. And I found this pub in the middle of, like, literally this little tiny pub hidden away. It's beautiful and it's like, they've got candles on and stuff. It's not special, it's a bit rough around edges. And they have Victoria Malaga, so I'm gonna have a pint of Malaga on today. How lovely. Yeah, and I was in there once. Yeah. And I was, I was chatting away. Hmm. And there was a surgeon in there and he was having a pint. And I said, I was chatting away to him and I went. And I'll never whinge about work again after this, William.

• 2:32Speaker 04

  I doubt it.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  I'll never whinge again. Remember this?

• 2:37Speaker 03

  I said, all right, what you said, you went, yeah, he went, I don't usually come in after work, but he said, I nearly cut through a main archery today. I was like, what? He was like, yeah. Then after two pints, I was like, show me your hands.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  And yeah, he'd had a really bad day. He said he nearly cut through a main archery. Imagine that?

• 2:54Speaker 04

  Wasn't even working that day.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  And he was, he weren't, he weren't much older. This is, this is how you know you're getting old, when Sergeons are about the same age as you. You're like, how old are you? He was like thirty eight, thirty nine. I'm like, yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. So there you go. That's what I'm doing. I'm going to be.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  Well, how lovely.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. What are you? What about you?

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Well, I've got my first candlelight supper in a while, because I haven't hosted for ages. Oh, you know, selection of all so rans really, but um, yeah, I haven't. I get, I um.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Why are you being coy?

• 3:22Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  That's my job on this podcast.

• 3:26Speaker 04

  Producer Ben and Cat might be, uh, might be part of the guest list.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  Why can't we come round to, why?

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Well, because you don't like each other. I've got to have you on set, but you're coming next week.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  Why can't we all? I would love to have seen Ben and Cat on our weekend.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Invite you all for the next one.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Is it just Ben and Cat?

• 3:39Speaker 04

  No.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Who else are going?

• 3:41Speaker 04

  Joe and Luke and Will and Freddie.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Why aren't we invited to that one?

• 3:47Speaker 04

  Because my, well, my dining table can seat more than that, but I've just decided to go for eight. You're coming round the week after.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  I'd rather be there with everyone else.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  You mean, you don't want to spend just time with just me?

• 3:58Speaker 03

  And Mikey.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  None taken.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Right, well, fine. Enjoy your.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Well, I'm seeing Vic this weekend anyway, so.

• 4:07Speaker 04

  Well, there we go. Fine. I bought new napkins. Ben, I hope you notice the napkins, please. In fact, I'm relying on you to just talk about the napkins in front of the other guests.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  And what you, uh, what you're making?

• 4:18Speaker 04

  Um, I'm doing a, some sort of, I can't remember what the soup is. It's vegetarian, don't worry. Vegetable stock, Ben. Uh, with a poached egg.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  In a soup?

• 4:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  You dirty bastard. A poached egg in a soup?

• 4:32Speaker 04

  With a goat cheese croute. Very nice. If you like goat cheese, that's optional. Mikey doesn't say he won't.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  I'm not a big fan of goat cheese.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  If you eat meat, you're having duck. If you don't eat meat, you're having a burnt aubergine chili.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  So Ben will be having that. What will Cat have? Generally, I've got a bit of money on.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Dust. Go back at Telly and serve that up for him.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Ben, what do you think Cat is actually going to end up having, duck or the chili?

• 5:00Speaker 05

  I think she'll have the duck.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think so too.

• 5:03Speaker 05

  She is, she is, she'll, there'll be a bit of a performance.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  It's great that she's stopped listening now. It's great.

• 5:13Speaker 05

  She'll go, oh, go on then.

• 5:17Speaker 05

  Just remember that. And maybe I've just, I've, maybe I should try and film it and we'll just capture that.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay, fine, fine.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  So, yeah, I'm like, I was out on Wednesday with my friends, Sebastian and Fallulu. And they were saying that, yeah, that I, they think I should go into politics. So, Ben, more wine, please, darling. And, oh, go on then, I'll have the duck.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  That'll be Cat.

• 5:46Speaker 04

  And then for pudding, we're having chocolate brand butter pudding.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  Bread and butter.

• 5:51Speaker 04

  Which I think Mikey's making as we speak.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  I would love to have gone to that. Why don't, it just.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  Well, you're coming the week after.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Is this because Cat doesn't like me?

• 5:58Speaker 04

  No. No, it's, it's just because, you know, you'll come to the next one. You know, you, you can't come, I don't come to everything in your house.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Is this because I was late to her wedding?

• 6:09Speaker 04

  No, Cat has had no say in the guest list, other than do not invite Jordan.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  I've not seen her since the wedding, you know.

• 6:18Speaker 05

  You have to come round.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  But we're, she's coming for my birthday weekend, isn't she? We're all going away together.

• 6:24Speaker 05

  Cheers.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  Anyway, what have we got today, please?

• 6:27Speaker 04

  Well, we were so impressed by Millie, the gene diva we toasted last week, who's rowing solo across the Atlantic Ocean while listening to our podcast. We wanted to know other things that gene divas had achieved whilst listening to us.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  Shoulder's still giving me jits, sorry.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  Turns out there's been quite a few babies that have been born while being soundtracked by our podcast, including Claire, who said the laughs are good for contractions. There we go.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  There you are. I like the idea as well of you listening to the podcast whilst you're doing something or in public whilst giving birth, because then a midwife will come in and go, oh, what's this? It's quite funny. And then they'll listen.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  And more and more listeners. Yeah. So listen to it out loud and get people involved. That should be our thing for 2026.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Right. We've been part of lots of marathon training, including Rosie, who said she'll see producer Ben at the London Marathon. Ben, what do you listen to whilst you are training? Do you listen to us?

• 7:19Speaker 05

  No.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  I bet he listens like German house tech bass or something like that, yeah?

• 7:23Speaker 05

  No, I listen to a podcast.

• 7:25Speaker 04

  Which podcast are you listening to then, Ben?

• 7:27Speaker 03

  What's your favourite podcast, Ben?

• 7:28Speaker 05

  Oh, there are many.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 7:29Speaker 05

  The one I love, the one I love that I would recommend, that I listen every week on a run, normally actually on a, on a dog walk, but Strangers on, Strangers on a Bench.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  Right.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Is that with Claire?

• 7:43Speaker 04

  Sweeney.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  No, keep going. Claire?

• 7:45Speaker 05

  No.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  Uh, from Steps.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  No, Claire.

• 7:48Speaker 04

  Prisby.

• 7:49Speaker 05

  It's not with Claire.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Claire.

• 7:51Speaker 04

  Balding.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, Claire Balding. Is that with Claire Balding?

• 7:54Speaker 05

  Not with Claire Balding or any Claire.

• 7:56Speaker 04

  All right. And is the concept of that, just two people get together on a bench and chat?

• 8:00Speaker 05

  The guy just walks around and like finds people on benches and they just have a chat.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  I think you should do a podcast.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Right. In your voice and tone of you just like reading the back of a bleach bottle or somewhere and it would definitely put people to sleep. Just like you just read in the Bible every night. I'd drop off in 10 minutes.

• 8:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:22Speaker 05

  I do struggle with my sleep.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. I think it'd be great at that.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Um, we accompanied Dean throughout a hair transplant where he introduced the theatre staff to the podcast. There we go. He took your advice, play it out loud, get the listeners.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Well done. To get mine done this year, but now I've got to get my teeth done instead.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  What's wrong with your teeth?

• 8:39Speaker 03

  Get my wisdom teeth out, aren't I?

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Oh, I see. Oh, fine. Um, listening to us help Shanny get over a shitty breakup. I'm glad. Um, less successfully have a Liberty laughed and missed her footing on the stairs and fell and chipped her tooth.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Ooh, you bastard.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  Right. Don't, don't sue us. Thank you very much. And finally, and I don't think we need to know this, John Climax whilst listening to us.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Oh, during sex.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  I assume so, that or he reached the top of a mountain.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  A good friend of mine.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Told me they were in the moment.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  Uh, and she was getting.

• 9:21Speaker 04

  Ready to finish.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  No, no, no, she was like getting shagged an hour and a half was.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  Dragging her.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Uh, about to climax.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  And one advert pops up on the telly and he just went, oh, for fuck's sake and completely lost it.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  Interesting. Well, sorry about that. Um, last week we also received a dilemma from a delivery driver who turned up at someone's house with a package only to find the homeowner in their boxes. So we asked on socials to see if any of our gene divas had similar tales to share. Angela said that I used to be a delivery driver for the big blue supermarket.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Tesco's.

• 10:02Speaker 04

  Is that blue or is that red? I wouldn't, what colour would you say Tesco is? I think Tesco's blue. Okay, Tesco. We used to deliver to a couple and the lady was an adult entertainer. The husband used to tell us at every opportunity and even used to show us pictures of her best angles.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Some people are fucking weird.

• 10:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's not appropriate. The husband used to make comments about how his wife's, how his wife liked women of my shape. One year, my male colleagues received signed posters for Christmas. Not sure they all went home to their wives.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I just remember not taking them out, man. You got me a Christmas card. That's just reminded me.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  Are you still having your milk delivered?

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  So funny.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Why?

• 10:39Speaker 04

  I mean, just most people just buy it in the supermarket.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  No, proper milk out of bottles, the best. I need to give me a centre card for Christmas. Go on, you just reminded me. Next one.

• 10:49Speaker 04

  Um, Kiara messaging to say, uh, I was famished one evening and decided to treat myself to an order from one of my favourite fast food restaurants. When the delivery driver arrived and handed me the bag, he said, enjoy your party. I thanked him and closed the door. The food was just for me. It's a bit much.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, but the thing is, if you get a takeout, order loads, because then you can have it the next day as well. Because you think, I want a bit of that and a bit of this.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  Turns out, I didn't realise this, I'm quite big with the Vruth drivers. That's one of my big TikTok demographics, clearly, because I now open the door and they go, TikTok!

• 11:19Speaker 03

  Really?

• 11:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Oh, that, and they know where you live?

• 11:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  That would freak me out, that.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  What happens?

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Anyway, I'm very nice to them, but you know.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Freak me out.

• 11:30Speaker 04

  Um, finally, Hannah shared this story, my sister thought the driver was cute and kept ordering until she saw him again and ended up married to him.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 11:37Speaker 04

  That's intense. I never get, I almost never get the same driver twice.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  That's like a Hollywood story.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  Wow, it probably will be at some point.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  The best thing now about the apps for Uber, so I want to get my curry, it's all there from the week before, you just.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  Well, yes, unless they update their menu and then the thing disappears.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  I just think that's class, because you go through it and you go, I just get what we got last week.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  There's no, like, it's class, isn't it?

• 12:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's very good.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  How it works.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  I just think that's really.

• 12:06Speaker 05

  It's mad what you can do these days.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  It's basically like the old days, ringing up and going, all right, Chirani, yeah, the usual, just basically like doing that on. Yeah.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  Jonathan told a story on the Luxury Podcast recently, I will, I will attribute it to him, where he used to go to a, when he lived in his previous place, he would always go to a, a particular Indian restaurant and you always order a Lambalti, a Sagaloo and a Peelao Rice. And that was always his order. And anyway, he stopped going and, um, thus they assumed that he had died or something. Anyway, and he then, years later, thought, well, I'll go back and see if they can deliver, uh, to me. So he ordered, phoned up, ordered a Lambalti, a Peelao Rice and a Sagaloo. And, uh, and the guy just goes, Mr. Smith! And recognised him just from his order.

• 12:54Speaker 04

  Not, didn't know, didn't know, Jonathan said his name, but just from, just from that order. I think they must, because I always order the same things from restaurants, you must get, restaurateurs must sort of associate people with their orders.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  Our younger Chinese aunt said, do you deliver? He said, no, we do lamb, chicken, fish.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  Peter Kajal.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  It's a funny one.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  Let's move on to some unexpected nudity. The original delivery dilemma featured a naked delivery recipient, so we also asked for stories of unexpected nudity. Jenny witnessed mug-based nudity. She said, "While I was studying abroad, a friend and I were staying in London for a weekend and our Airbnb host had accidentally left a mug with their nude picture on it in the shared kitchen." Full frontal.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Probably didn't accidentally do that, they knew what they were doing.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Lauren works at a well-known fast food chain, think Golden Arches, in New Zealand, and says you'd be surprised by the number of people who come through the drive-through sans clothing. And probably also not the weirdest thing I've seen over the years while working there.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  They don't like that abroad, you know, going into supermarkets without top on or no shoes.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Quite right. Standards.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  You can't go straight from beach into a supermarket.

• 13:59Speaker 04

  No. Well, I think that's quite right.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 14:01Speaker 04

  Not that I'd know this, but what would you wear when going through a drive-through? What would be appropriate?

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Joggers. Pyjamas. Pyjamas is fine for a drive, for a drive-through. If you're just leaving house, it's going car to go for a drive-through, fine. If you're not getting out of the car, fine. Go in your pyjamas.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  Okay. A G and D have shared this story from their travels to Spidham.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  Spidham.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  "I was travelling with my boyfriend and met his friend at the airport on our way to stay at their parents' house. As we pulled up the drive to the house, her mother and stepfather were emerging from their outdoor sauna. They were stark naked. I tried desperately to make eye contact during the introduction and thanked my lucky stars that they preferred handshakes to hugs."

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Very European. You can't, they love getting the bollocks out of there. They do.

• 14:44Speaker 04

  Or whatever they've got.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  Europeans just waft it about like there's no tomorrow.

• 14:48Speaker 04

  They are much freer.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. When I went to Berlin and I got thrown, I got thrown out the steam room for having trunks on.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that was boiler.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  What? What's that? What's that?

• 15:04Speaker 04

  A sauna.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Oh, is it?

• 15:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  Oh, right, okay. Well, no, and she went, "Excuse me, is this Germany? It is no clothes, you have to be naked."

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Yes, and I know, I told you, they said that to me at the sauna and I said, "Well, no, I'm British, we won the war and I'm going to wear clothes, thank you."

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Is that what you said?

• 15:19Speaker 04

  No, I didn't. I wanted to.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  You could go in with your towel wrapped around you. There was a lad in there.

• 15:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  Cross-legged, flopping out.

• 15:28Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  And I thought, "Well, that's not fair, because you've been in here 20 minutes."

• 15:32Speaker 04

  Imagine what it was like.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  And he's like on slack a bit more because it's warm now. So you're like semi-lob on. I've just come in from cold.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  No fair. We've got an even advantage there.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  Josh.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  You get out at bath. It's like, oh god, I'm massive.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  That's why I have baths all the time. Josh suffered his own surprise nudity. I was loading my son into the car for school and he pantsed me and shouted bum. The street was full of people. What's pantsed?

• 16:04Speaker 03

  Kegged. Apparently you can't do it now.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  I've, no.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  Did you ever get kegged at school?

• 16:08Speaker 04

  No.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't do it now. It's actually very serious.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  Well, I did, but we won't go into that. And, right.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  It's in the Liverpool fan.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  It's in the video.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  No.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Liverpool scored the last minute goal and he's going mad and his mate just kegged him. But you're not allowed to do it now. It's a serious offence.

• 16:29Speaker 04

  No, we don't, we don't, we don't approve of that.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  No, don't do it anymore.

• 16:32Speaker 04

  Finally, Zoe made an impression on her new partner's dad. I had not long started seeing my current partner and was invited along to meet his friends. I was super nervous and went to extremes with the pre-drink, so already was steaming by the time I got to the pub. Things went well with his friends and I had a good night until 11pm. I walked out of the pub and was greeted by an overwhelming need to spew. I did so and unfortunately it went all over my top. I refused to go back into the pub, so my boyfriend got our coats and called his dad to come and pick us up. In my drunken wisdom, when his dad arrived, I thought the best thing to do was take my top off as I couldn't get into his car covered in spew. My boyfriend quickly tried to cover me with his jacket, but too little too late, as his dad had seen my titties out in the back of the car.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  How pissed were you, Zoe? Bloody hell, love. It's not a good impression. Come on.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  No, but thanks for letting us know.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Jesus. How pissed, I mean, I'd get pissed as much as the rest of them, but come on. Off that poor cow. We've got more of your emails, messages and letters after the break.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  It's time. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Halloween.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  And you guys know we don't do Halloween by halves. Full costume, full prosthetics, full commitment. I'm a rat. And I'm the chef. It's our Ratatouille special. Then we're grabbing our broomsticks for the witches.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  We've got a spooky hotline caller. An update from our woman who was in love with the ghost of Prince Albert. And your tarot card dilemmas. Listen to our Halloween specials. Search for The Girl's Bathroom.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  All right then, genie of us, thanks for sticking with us. We've got some more responses now.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Yes, Laura has messaged in to update us regarding some tips we gave her about becoming a boy mum. Hi, William, Jordan and the rest of the wonderful Sexton team. At the end of September last year, I wrote in requesting advice on my impending new role as a boy mum. I wanted to let you know that our son Edward, good name, was born towards the end of last year. I'm sure Jordan will be pleased to know that Edward was actually born in Burnley. It pains me as a lifelong Blackburn Rovers fan that our child's hometown states Burnley on his birth certificate and passport forevermore, but never mind.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's started to happen now because I think, so we kind of share hospitals with Blackburn and Burnley. For anyone that's not into football, it's like.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  Liverpool Everton.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  No, the best, if you're not into football, it's like Springfield and Shelbyville.

• 19:33Speaker 04

  Right.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, on The Simpsons. But someone told me that most, that Burnley's got a maternity ward there now or something. So a lot of kids from Blackmutter.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  But seriously, my mum went into labour in Accrington and went to see my auntie Linda.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  And the, honestly, the ambulance came to pick my mum up. Oh, my dad, I know, I think my dad drove her and Blackman was near her. My dad were like, no, son of mine's been born in Blackman. So drove my mum to Burnley, anyway.

• 20:01Speaker 04

  Laura continues, I'll be honest, I've not come across many boy mum issues yet, as he's only six week old, six weeks old. Although navigating the changing of nappers has been interesting at times. I will bear in mind the advice that Jordan slash Wendy gave me of seeing myself as a sergeant major and drilling the fear of God into him.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  Can't be done.

• 20:17Speaker 04

  When he's a bit older and will report back in about 18 years' time if the podcast is still going.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, just keep an eye on your Bacardi as well. Make sure it's not being topped up with water.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  A big thanks again for the advice and the laughter. You've kept me company through the night feeds over the last few weeks. And it's been great to be able to have a chuckle whilst deep in the newborn trenches, Laura. Well, that, thank you for letting it. I love it when people get back in touch.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  It's nice.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  Have a bit of additional context.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  And I always remember the letters as well, whenever.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  Your mum's a boy mum.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  She is, yeah, just about.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  Like I said, the main, like, the toilet seat in our house is a big thing. Because imagine growing up, like, being the only girl, five boys, including my dad.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, disgusting.

• 21:01Speaker 03

  It had to be down.

• 21:01Speaker 04

  That Luanne need cleaning twice a day.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's cleaning all the time. But she'd go mad if there was any dribble on it.

• 21:07Speaker 04

  Oh, please don't, because it makes me feel ill. Anthea in Manchester has heard a story about Jordan that needs verifying.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  Could be anything.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  Jesus, I'm trying to miss.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  Hey, William and Jordan, I'm a bit late to the G and Diva party as I only started listening to the podcast a month ago.

• 21:21Speaker 03

  We've all got it passed, Andrea.

• 21:24Speaker 04

  Because of my newfound love for the show, I discovered that a colleague of mine used to work at Media City, and I asked whether he knew of Jordan. He confirmed that he had met him and that his main memory consisted of a scene in which Jordan violently vomited in one of the studios. From what I've heard on the show so far, my immediate thought was, "Sounds about right." Upon witnessing this, my colleague and one of his colleagues at the time rushed to clean up after Jordan, despite their job titles being of a very different variety. So my questions are, A, Jordan, can you confirm whether this actually happened? If so, why were you so ill? And B, even when it isn't your job to do so, should you step in to help during an awkward situation? All the best, Anthea. Have you ever thrown up in a radio or TV studio?

• 22:07Speaker 03

  No, I can't say I have. I do think that's absolute bollocks. Someone DM'd me the other day as well. It's really... I won't actually say what it said, because it annoyed me.

• 22:16Speaker 04

  Oh, do.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  Someone went to school with you.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  Right. With me or you?

• 22:21Speaker 03

  With me. Listen to the podcast. I'll read it, mate.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, go on. Get it off your chest, love.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  He actually stung this, and it was like... And it's just absolute bollocks, because I know what it was like. "Oh, look, there's a picture of me boil."

• 22:32Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  It's just come off on me.

• 22:36Speaker 04

  Jordan, I don't need to see that.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  Sorry, we're talking about it in the last episode, weren't we? Let me show you this. It was a Jean Diva. I won't turn it in, I said, "Hi, Jordan. Turns out, you went to school with my best mate. In fact, you're in his class. Guy called, if you remember him, I do, yeah. He said, and this is like, he said he vividly remembers you getting your cock out in the changing rooms. He also said you were very popular, especially with the knobheads. Big fan of podcasts. We'll see you at the live tour. See you then." And it's annoyed me, because that is just not true. I would never get my knob out, like, and it's just, there's stuff said about you. Someone said something to my brother, actually, in work a few weeks ago, and my brother was like, "That is bollocks. That never happened." But I don't think I was ever sick in a studio, and I certainly weren't one of those lads that used to get me cock out at school.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  If anything, I was a one-handed washer. You know, like.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  I see where you cover your.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  But people just make shit up.

• 23:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Because I wouldn't bother, but like, I've got mates that, like, I've got mates that always get the knobs out and stuff like that, you know, pubomarmia.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  Did so.

• 23:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. But that was never me. And it's, your mate is chatting shit there. That was never me. I was a bit of an in-betweener at school. But I can't remember being sick in a studio.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  Have you ever had anyone clear up?

• 23:48Speaker 03

  No, I wouldn't let, I wouldn't let anyone clean me sick up. So, no.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  No, I think.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  You must have heard something. That's ballocks.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  What about you? What about me?

• 23:55Speaker 03

  Someone said to me, oh, someone still used to work with you and said that. I was like, that never happened.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Um, Alex has got back in touch.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Don't believe everything you hear.

• 24:02Speaker 04

  No.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  That's what I'm gonna say. But no, that, that's, that isn't true. I can't remember that. No.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Alex has got back in touch after we gave him some advice in last week's episode. To recap, Alex had a female friend who was coming on to him as a gay man. Um, he didn't quite know how to tell her without potentially ruining their friendship. He writes, hi, William and Jordan. I just wanted to thank you for discussing my dilemma in last week's episode. I really do appreciate it. In regards to William's comments about my message not being very gay-coded, after I signed off my dilemma with the phrase cheers. I think I'm just more masculine than you. It's not possible. I have used a lot more queer language and talked about queer media in my conversations with this girl, but I think we're just both on the spectrum. I'll take Jordan's advice when I see her next weekend and just break it to her gently.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 04

  She's been sending me kisses more frequently and inviting me around to her place despite still never talking to me in college. I have simply ploughed on and ignored all these signs. Keep saying divas. Is that better, William? Alex?

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Yes, Alex. Yes, good.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  Uh, P S. I don't know any Dua Lipa songs, but I've made references to the greatest band in the world, The Smiths. I mean, please.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Has he got a Smiths lyric in? This guy's like, Christ, this guy's more masculine.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  She's into it. Yeah, fair play.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Sorry, and he continues, "Sorry, William, I know that probably isn't gay enough for you, but I have told her about my love for Mary Poppins and The Wizard of Oz several times."

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Oh, well.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  That's probably done the job.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  If, if, like, they, they, they were quite young, weren't they?

• 25:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  If she says, "Will you finger me?", because that's what they're into at that age, you say, "No, will you finger me?", and she'll get the picture.

• 25:37Speaker 04

  No, but also, no, no, no, I am, that is so problematic on so many levels.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  How? That's what you do at that age. It's all about fingering, isn't it?

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Well, we don't know how old they are.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  Well, he's like, how old is he? Seventeen, eighteen? Yeah, you've had a bit of fingering at that age, it's fine.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Okay, but, Jordan-

• 25:52Speaker 03

  That's when you do your fingering.

• 25:53Speaker 04

  Yes, but also heterosexual-

• 25:55Speaker 03

  I've fingered many a girl at that age.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  And it made you the man you are today.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  There are many...

• 26:04Speaker 04

  I just...

• 26:06Speaker 03

  You're telling me you never did a bit of fingering in sixth form?

• 26:08Speaker 04

  Yes, I did, but not-

• 26:10Speaker 03

  There you go. So just say, because she'll be like, "Oh, go on, finger me", and then you go, "No".

• 26:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, but also, for Jordan-

• 26:17Speaker 03

  You finger me, and then she'll know.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  There are a lot of heterosexual, bisexual men who enjoy fingering. It doesn't, you don't like, don't, it's not a, yeah.

• 26:27Speaker 05

  You obviously shouldn't be saying to someone, "Finger me".

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know how it comes about. It's like Mickey-

• 26:32Speaker 05

  Not like that.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Our final message-

• 26:35Speaker 03

  Is that all right, stay in? Yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  That's what you said in sixth form.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  I've fingered many a girl.

• 26:46Speaker 04

  Our final message comes from-

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Don't clip that up, you.

• 26:50Speaker 04

  Our final message comes from Louise, who says, "Dear William, Jordan, producer Ben and the Zested Crew, can I just say that I love that William was hungover during last week's episode? Jordan was giving William aggro about being 36-year-old and drinking alcohol on a school night, but for me, my 30s have been much more fun than my 20s."

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Very much like you.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Yeah. "I think it's because you get a sense of rebellion. You should be more mature in your 30s, but you can still act like you're in your 20s, despite paying the price the next day." You could say that I'm like Kat, I'm hardly ever home with my husband. Perhaps my husband and producer Ben could start a lonely husbands' club. I really hate saying these things, but this one feels more appropriate. Yolo, William. That means you only live once.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 27:27Speaker 04

  Carry on living your best life. My question to William and Jordan is, did you have more fun in your twenties? Or are you having more fun now in your thirties?

• 27:32Speaker 03

  Oh, great question.

• 27:33Speaker 04

  Love you all. You make me smile every week. Love from G and D Valouise.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Um, my twenties and thirties are very different. I was out all the time in my twenties. Yeah, festivals, like, you're paid to keep me in. I used to lend money off mates and.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Borrow money.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  Borrow money just to go out on a Saturday and pay them back like when I next got paid.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Down cash converters.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  But now I'm very much a homeboy. I like to stay in, especially when weather's like this. So it's, but I'm, I'm enjoying my. I don't know, I'm enjoying both. They're just different. They're different.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, they are.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  I remember when I turned thirty, my mum said to me, you'll love your thirties and I was dreading it. And she was totally right. She said, you'll love your thirties.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  People said to me, thirties, everything sort of falls into place.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  It's so right.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  I would say it's true. And I was told that when I was twenty, so I always, always remembered it.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  I, I have enjoyed both. I did everything I wanted to in my twenties. A lot of it I can't remember because I was pissed, but I've done, I'm having just as much fun in my thirties, but it's a different fun.

• 28:29Speaker 04

  But I can't wait for my forties.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  William's thirties is like Jordan's twenties and vice versa.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:36Speaker 04

  Yes. Well, we are, I've, I've said it, I've said it for years on this podcast. The trajectory of this podcast is you started like, if you imagine a graph, everyone. You started at this point on the axis and I started on that point of the axis.

• 28:48Speaker 05

  Bottom left.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Thank you. And leave off preferences out of it. And, and we just sort of cross and we've met in the middle and we're sort of, we'll end up at the other point on the axis.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  So now you're thirty, you live in your twenties. When you're in your forties, you'll be a teenager and start fingering.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  You'll love it.

• 29:04Speaker 04

  I will love it. Shall we finish with comment of the week?

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Let's do it.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  Now, what is comment of the week? Remind us.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  It's comments from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials.

• 29:16Speaker 04

  He did that without looking at the script. Well done, you can do it. Before we get to our favourite ones, here are the honourable mentions. S Wutan on Spotify commented, "Yes, the Nile is still open and doing Donna pizza still."

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Yes, it's the takeaway I talked about that we stored it from in Kirkham in Lancashire.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Doesn't quite go with the G and D, so I go with a Moretti.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Right, next time I'm in the Kirkham area or in Blackpool, I'm going to order a Nile and get a Donnycab pizza. They were best then.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  Rusty Aqua left a comment saying, "William, the Disney princess from Brave is Merida, not Meridore. How silly do I look?" And Danny commented on last week's episode, "Help, she thinks I'm gay. William doesn't slop, William doesn't slut drop, he gentry gyrates."

• 30:02Speaker 03

  How's that not comment of the week?

• 30:04Speaker 04

  I like, I think that's very good.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  It's a good honourable mention.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Let's see if it's better than Queen Missanthrop, yeah, Missanthrop, who said, "I'm here on the 15th of January 2026. After watching you both on Shag Maridinoide podcast, I reckon I'll box off every episode of yours in two weeks."

• 30:23Speaker 03

  No, Chad, you can't listen to every episode in two weeks. Oh, challenge accept, oh, my fucking shoulder. Challenge accepted.

• 30:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, let us know how you get on, Queen Missanthrop. Sorry, just a little moment there. Well, what a lovely weekend release we've had.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  It is. Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected]. We also love hearing back from people we offer advice to. So if that's you, get back in touch and we'll see you on Tuesday.

• 30:57Speaker 04

  See you on Tuesday.

• 31:05Speaker 00

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• 31:40Speaker 06

  The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate. Take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life, plus experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the Midpoint.