Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss He Unfollowed ME? | And Jordan’s Got The Itch About this episode From the reason you unfollowed them to the words you've always mispronounced, there's plenty of your responses that give William and Jordan a giggle. There's also time for Jordan to revealing all about his chest and William's not happy about your birthday posts.
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Transcript 0:01 Speaker 00 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast, Pretty Scary, we are going to cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit in search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
0:45 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful Jane Devers. Just occurred to me, what if people, and this always comes out on a Friday, but what if people are listening and it's a Tuesday or a Wednesday?
1:06 Speaker 02 Well, that's their problem, isn't it? It's our Friday release.
1:10 Speaker 01 Can't we just go back to calling it a bonus episode?
1:13 Speaker 02 No, it's our Friday episode, Jordan.
1:14 Speaker 01 I don't get it. It's just a bonus episode, isn't it? That'll come up in the next meeting, guys.
1:19 Speaker 02 And will you be there for that one?
1:23 Speaker 01 I missed, right, in eight years, in eight years.
1:26 Speaker 02 Don't, don't start.
1:28 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. In eight years, I missed one meeting. Tell me another meeting I've missed.
1:34 Speaker 02 What are you doing this weekend if you survive your operation?
1:37 Speaker 01 If, if the up going well, I'm meant to be going to Bath, but I don't think that's going to happen.
1:42 Speaker 02 I would not let on that, love.
1:43 Speaker 01 Do you reckon?
1:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:44 Speaker 01 Oh shit, so I'm probably just going to chill. Burnley playing Chelsea, that's like down road for me, the ground.
1:50 Speaker 02 Oh, can you go?
1:52 Speaker 01 But you still really aren't going to go.
1:54 Speaker 02 I think you're going to be in a lot of pain.
1:55 Speaker 01 Do you think?
1:56 Speaker 02 I mean, you're meant to be back on the radio on Monday. I think that's.
1:59 Speaker 01 Shit.
1:59 Speaker 02 I mean, I let Will Manning know if I'm honest.
2:03 Speaker 01 Hmm. Shit, I'm not, probably just chilling then. What about you?
2:07 Speaker 02 Going to Paris.
2:08 Speaker 01 Oh, with me, with Mikey?
2:10 Speaker 02 Yes, indeed. Yes.
2:11 Speaker 01 I've never been.
2:12 Speaker 02 It's great. It's a bit of love.
2:15 Speaker 01 Never been.
2:15 Speaker 02 But also my book comes out in, in French in March, so I'm going to do some publicity.
2:20 Speaker 01 Oh, okay. Are you going to La Louve, the love?
2:23 Speaker 02 No.
2:24 Speaker 01 You've been before?
2:24 Speaker 02 I've been before.
2:25 Speaker 01 Is that any good?
2:26 Speaker 02 No. I mean, it's fine. It's got some nice things in it, but it's very touristy.
2:30 Speaker 01 It's meant to be Dead Day, Paris.
2:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:32 Speaker 01 Hmm, that's, she said, we got two coffees, a baguette and a croissant, and it were like twenty four euros.
2:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:39 Speaker 01 That is quite expensive, isn't it?
2:40 Speaker 02 It is quite expensive. But I want to go and see Notre Dame, uh, cause that's now reopened since all the fire. So I want to go and sort of see what they've done there.
2:46 Speaker 01 Was Quasimodo alright in that?
2:49 Speaker 02 I think so.
2:51 Speaker 01 Quasimodo walked into a bar.
2:54 Speaker 01 She's still have a double whiskey place. Had a terrible day. My mate says, Bell's okay. So who's fucking asking?
3:01 Speaker 02 The, um, talking of Quasimodo, as a six year old, I, when we went to Notre Dame with my parents, I was convinced that I would see Quasimodo. And for two and a half hours, I made my parents sit in Notre Dame with us looking up to see if I could see Quasimodo.
3:15 Speaker 01 The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
3:16 Speaker 02 Yeah. Didn't see him.
3:18 Speaker 01 No.
3:19 Speaker 02 Which is a great shame, but, uh, but apparently he's there.
3:22 Speaker 01 Have fun in Chevalier.
3:23 Speaker 02 Thank you very much. I will too. Uh, I quite like Paris. It's quite easy to get there. So looking forward to it.
3:28 Speaker 01 If like?
3:28 Speaker 02 No.
3:29 Speaker 01 Train.
3:29 Speaker 02 Eurostar.
3:30 Speaker 01 Is it easy to just get the train?
3:31 Speaker 02 I think so. Cause also then you're in the middle of Paris, whereas Chardin or, um, what's the other one? Oray? Ore?
3:38 Speaker 01 Ore.
3:39 Speaker 02 No, that's Spain. Um, is it's sort of, you, you're out, it's like going to Gatwick. It's like arriving at Gatwick. And then you've got to schlep in, whereas at least with Gardenaud, you're in the middle.
3:48 Speaker 01 How long's a tunnel take?
3:50 Speaker 02 Two hours, twenty minutes.
3:52 Speaker 01 Fascinates with that tunnel.
3:54 Speaker 02 Really?
3:54 Speaker 01 Hmm.
3:55 Speaker 02 It's just a tunnel.
3:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, but under Walter.
3:58 Speaker 02 We, we go under the Thames on the Tube. It's no different from that, but just a bit longer.
4:02 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
4:03 Speaker 02 And probably deeper.
4:04 Speaker 01 I always thought it was on the seabed. It's not.
4:06 Speaker 02 It's not.
4:07 Speaker 01 It's amazing.
4:07 Speaker 02 Just going back to your operation, little correction that was, uh, put to me by Zofia, our technician, who had her wisdom teeth out a couple of months ago. The not eating or drinking thing is not necessarily to take off the anesthetic that they're going to give you. Um, it's so you don't throw up.
4:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:24 Speaker 02 So correction there. So now we know. So thank you, Zofia, for that. Zofia was in absolute agony. Yeah. And she only had two out. You're having four.
4:35 Speaker 02 But you have a lovely time. Now, our team, and me, have been working hard preparing for the tour. Tickets still available, sextedmyboss.com/live, including important details like how we keep everyone entertained on the tour bus.
4:47 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
4:47 Speaker 02 Yes. We had a tour bus last time for the 2024 tour.
4:51 Speaker 01 And by the way, if you're still thinking on winning on, come and see us. Get on the website, come and do it. Because it's not long away now, when a few people are leaving at last minute, but.
4:59 Speaker 02 We'll squeeze you in.
4:59 Speaker 01 We'll squeeze you in, sextedmyboss.com/live.
5:03 Speaker 02 You were generally, and I'm saying this with love, on most road journeys we had, bloody insufferable.
5:11 Speaker 01 That's unfair.
5:13 Speaker 02 You, you, excuse me, go onto our YouTube and watch the documentary. There's evidence. But you're quite tired.
5:19 Speaker 01 It's a documentary on YouTube?
5:20 Speaker 02 Yep.
5:21 Speaker 01 Is it any good?
5:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's quite good.
5:23 Speaker 01 How long is it?
5:24 Speaker 02 20 minutes.
5:25 Speaker 01 I might watch that.
5:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, give it a go. Life was different, but give it a go. You were quite irritable and tired, and supposedly I was winding you up.
5:34 Speaker 01 That is not true.
5:35 Speaker 02 Because I was too perky.
5:36 Speaker 01 I would never be irritable and tired. That is, that is not true.
5:42 Speaker 02 Okay.
5:43 Speaker 01 That is not true.
5:44 Speaker 02 No. Irritable and tired are not words.
5:46 Speaker 01 I might have been tired, but I wouldn't have been irritable.
5:48 Speaker 02 Because you said on this tour that you're going to quell your drinking.
5:52 Speaker 01 Right, can we stop making out that I've got a drink problem, please? So I'm going to get pissed on this one.
5:58 Speaker 02 Okay. Well, that's fine. Have a drink. Just don't get pissed.
6:02 Speaker 01 I'm not irritable.
6:03 Speaker 02 We played karaoke, can you not remember?
6:05 Speaker 01 Imagine you've been up all week on the radio and then you start singing karaoke on the tour bus.
6:10 Speaker 02 We did Dixon Dallas, that was perfect.
6:12 Speaker 01 Exactly, exactly.
6:13 Speaker 02 It was great fun.
6:14 Speaker 01 It was quite a small tour bus.
6:16 Speaker 02 We were all rammed in together, yeah. We got a bigger touring crew. Got all those dancers, rammed in with them. But it will be nice to do karaoke again, and I want to revisit, the only time I've come close to falling out with Chairman Emeritus Stuart is where he said that he hated, hated, it was strong words, Charlotte Nilson's Take Me To Your Heaven, which is one of my favourite songs ever.
6:38 Speaker 01 Which one was that?
6:39 Speaker 02 Take me to your heaven.
6:41 Speaker 01 And they say I was irritable. I wasn't. I had to listen to this for hours.
6:44 Speaker 02 It won Eurovision in 1999 for Sweden. It's a great song. Yeah. And I thought he would love it. He didn't like it. Anyway, we asked Arjuna Divas things that they could suggest for us. Claire said we should wax Jordan.
6:58 Speaker 01 Uh, that's why I've just shaved my chest today, actually.
7:01 Speaker 02 Why have you shaved your chest?
7:02 Speaker 01 That's why I was slightly late today.
7:05 Speaker 02 Well, thanks for your personal admin.
7:07 Speaker 01 Well, because I've got a week off, so I'm doing all my admin. I've done all my emails and stuff.
7:12 Speaker 02 But why have you shaved your chest?
7:13 Speaker 01 Just because it was getting a bit, I'm not like, it was just getting a bit too.
7:17 Speaker 02 You love rug.
7:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:18 Speaker 02 Okay, yeah.
7:20 Speaker 01 Ooh.
7:21 Speaker 02 Rose and Immy said we should watch Heated Rivalry.
7:24 Speaker 01 We could watch that.
7:25 Speaker 02 We could. Yesdin suggested a bliss hour. That's gonna be longer than an hour, some of those journeys.
7:31 Speaker 01 That'd be nice if we just had a quiet hour.
7:33 Speaker 02 But you would hate that because you like, you have to have stimulus, don't you?
7:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's what I mean. We all listen to our.
7:39 Speaker 02 Oh, I see. Okay. Well, that's fine. I'd be up for that. Lou said we should get Alejandro from the stag. Jordan went on who secretly gave a load of guys' blowjobs.
7:48 Speaker 01 How do you remember that? That's so weird that you remember that.
7:53 Speaker 02 Becca thinks we should make a scrapbook of the tour. Get your print stick ready, Jordan. You could make a little scrapbook like you did as a child.
8:01 Speaker 01 Do you know what? I will do that. Let's get me a scrapbook.
8:03 Speaker 02 Put ticket stubs and bits of costumes.
8:06 Speaker 01 I'll make it. Do you know what? That's a great idea, Becca. And Lou, before I die, I am gonna track down Alejandro. Find out who the fourth bloke was.
8:14 Speaker 02 Okay.
8:14 Speaker 01 I have decided.
8:15 Speaker 02 Can we have a list of names that were at least people that were on it? And then we can, you and I can go through it, even if we do this off air and just remove people that we either know it was, so it's not them, and to narrow it down.
8:27 Speaker 01 And long story cut short, for anyone that's not aware, I talked about this years ago, I went on a stag do.
8:33 Speaker 02 Your brother's, wasn't it?
8:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, in 2011. And we had this guy that looked after us called Alejandro. He got nicknamed Aliandjob. And he was lovely. And bear in mind, we were with a load of paras.
8:46 Speaker 02 Paratroopers, army people.
8:48 Speaker 01 Yeah. And he said when he put us on the coach back to the airport. Said, just to let you know, I sucked off four of your blokes. So three admitted it on the coach home. We still don't know who the fourth bloke is. Still keeps me up at night. But when I.
9:02 Speaker 02 Alejandro.
9:03 Speaker 01 Get more time on my hands, that's gonna be my quest. You know, like monks go up mountains.
9:06 Speaker 02 That's how you're going to spend your time?
9:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:08 Speaker 02 Okay.
9:08 Speaker 01 Pack one of those little Winnie the Pooh sticks with the, you know, when they leave home. And that's gonna be my quest to track down Alejandro. Be like, right, all the lads, there's a picture of them all on. Him, him, him.
9:21 Speaker 02 Be like, guess who?
9:22 Speaker 01 Who was the fourth bloke?
9:23 Speaker 02 Yes. And finally, there were a lot of mentions that we could play Uno No Mercy.
9:28 Speaker 01 Yes.
9:29 Speaker 02 Ruthless version of Uno.
9:30 Speaker 01 I wanna play this.
9:32 Speaker 02 I've only recently played Uno, regular Uno.
9:34 Speaker 01 I'll bring Uno.
9:35 Speaker 02 What's No Mercy?
9:36 Speaker 01 This is a great shout. So I'll bring Uno, I'll bring cards.
9:39 Speaker 02 Monopoly Deal was also mentioned.
9:41 Speaker 01 Card games. And yeah, that'll keep us going.
9:43 Speaker 02 Or lots of people suggested International Cockleball.
9:46 Speaker 01 That's a great shout. We should play International Cockleball on tour.
9:49 Speaker 02 Okay.
9:50 Speaker 03 Shithead.
9:51 Speaker 02 All right, we're only suggesting things.
9:53 Speaker 01 That's a good game. Three card brag.
9:57 Speaker 02 What is shithead?
9:58 Speaker 01 It's a card game.
9:59 Speaker 02 Right.
9:59 Speaker 03 No, I'm sorry. I was just calling you a shithead.
10:01 Speaker 02 Oh, fine, okay.
10:02 Speaker 01 Let's do that.
10:04 Speaker 02 We will be sharing all of our adventures behind the scenes on our social media. So during the tour, so if you are coming, if you're not coming, if you're unable to come, you can keep up with us and find out what card games we play. And who's sitting next to Jordan, who's singing karaoke, does Stuart Morgan now like Charlotte Nielsen, all on at Sex of My Boss.
10:25 Speaker 01 I'm up for card games. That's a great shout.
10:27 Speaker 02 Now, we also shared a clip recently of us recording an ad. And you, Jordan, you have learned that you have always pronounced Valentine's as Valentine's.
10:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's Valentine's Day. That's so weird, Valentine's. Valentine's.
10:42 Speaker 02 Here it is.
10:42 Speaker 01 Valentine's, yeah, Valentine's. Valentine's is just another day, really, isn't it? There's so much noise around the cards, the big gestures.
10:48 Speaker 02 Sorry, you actually genuinely, you've got to, what, 36?
10:54 Speaker 01 I was born on Valentine's Day.
10:57 Speaker 02 Oh, you mean your flipping birthday? It is Valentine's Day, Saint Valentine's Day.
11:03 Speaker 01 Valentine's.
11:06 Speaker 02 Times.
11:07 Speaker 01 I'm born on Valentine's. Is it times? Not an M.
11:10 Speaker 02 This is blowing your little tiny mind, isn't it?
11:12 Speaker 01 Have I been saying it wrong my whole life? My birthday's on Valentine's Day.
11:15 Speaker 02 It's, well, it isn't because there isn't such a day.
11:18 Speaker 01 Valentine's is around the corner and the pressure to find love has peaked. Is this a prank? Have you changed the spelling?
11:24 Speaker 02 But on that prank, I think what we could do just subtly in future is just slightly begin to gaslight him and change certain words like time, tines to times, and then we can just pretend.
11:35 Speaker 01 That's cruel.
11:36 Speaker 02 I think it's quite funny. We'll give it a few months before we do that.
11:39 Speaker 01 Okay.
11:39 Speaker 02 But I think we'll do that. That could be quite fun. To make you feel better, though, we asked people for words that they had mispronounced for a long time.
11:47 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
11:48 Speaker 02 AJ is 42 and just found it's floor-to-ceiling windows, not Florida ceiling windows. Victoria thought football matches sometimes ended in Scottish time, not stoppage time. Presumably Scottish time is whatever time the pub opens. Lucy used to say and type "water for lava", only to discover aged 32, it's "water palaver".
12:11 Speaker 01 See, it's just one of those things. You don't know until you go through life. I genuinely thought it was Valentine's, but then I'm reading it, I've always read it as Valentine's. So how I've said it as Valentine's is beyond me.
12:20 Speaker 02 Bethany pronounced echinacea as "eh china seah". What? For an embarrassing long time.
12:30 Speaker 01 Is that echinacea? Is that one of those bowls you get?
12:32 Speaker 02 What?
12:33 Speaker 01 The weekend we went away, we had an echinacea bowl.
12:36 Speaker 02 A poke bowl?
12:37 Speaker 01 No, it's like frozen.
12:38 Speaker 02 Acai bowl?
12:39 Speaker 01 Oh, is that, it's like frozen.
12:41 Speaker 02 No, echinacea is like what you take to boost your immune system.
12:44 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I got mixed up. But then, asahi, what are they called?
12:48 Speaker 02 Acai.
12:49 Speaker 01 Acai.
12:50 Speaker 02 Acai.
12:51 Speaker 01 It's like frozen.
12:52 Speaker 02 No, asahi is the beer.
12:53 Speaker 01 It's like frozen fruit. It's amazing. Wow.
12:56 Speaker 02 How many, how many acai bowls are there in Burnley? H is an only child and grew up thinking that they were a lonely child. Well, in many ways you were. S J.
13:05 Speaker 01 William.
13:08 Speaker 02 S J thought it was making hens meat, not making ends meet.
13:11 Speaker 01 (laughing).
13:15 Speaker 02 Sammy with an I got to 26 before being corrected that they're not called a roundabouts because you go around them. They're called roundabouts. And Amy was 40 when they found out it's not an ice skating rink. It's an ice skating rink with a K. I would say that's not your fault, Amy. I think that's people's sloppy diction.
13:33 Speaker 01 Skating rink. Oh, yeah, ring.
13:35 Speaker 02 Yeah. I don't like ice skating. It worries me.
13:39 Speaker 01 I was thinking I'm gonna lose a finger.
13:40 Speaker 02 Yes, exactly. If you fall over and someone slips past you.
13:43 Speaker 01 Was that car Uber watched as a kid or something?
13:45 Speaker 02 Well, and also it's hard. It's hard, cold ice. And it's not like you're falling on sort of shag pile. Have you, have you watched Blades of Glory?
13:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, is it off that?
13:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's where it's half an hour.
13:55 Speaker 02 Is that, is that a thing? It's a comedy film. And someone's, comedy film, but someone's finger gets chopped up. How hilarious. It's actually their head. Jeez, okay. Sarah found out last year it's Jesus wept, not Jesus wet, as if he'd had an accident.
14:13 Speaker 02 I love it. Well, thank you. Does that make you feel any better?
14:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, it does. There's, there's lots.
14:17 Speaker 02 But we love your malapropisms and spoonerisms and things being wrong. Um, also last week, we had a dilemma inspired by a completely anonymous person, which included unfollowing someone on Instagram. So we wondered why you have unfollowed people.
14:32 Speaker 01 Oh, it's a good one.
14:33 Speaker 02 I have a feeling I know what direction this is going. Annie's ex unfollowed her dog on Instagram, but she still follows Annie's personal account, Dick.
14:44 Speaker 02 Is that?
14:45 Speaker 01 She, Annie's ex unfollowed her dog, but still.
14:48 Speaker 02 Well, that's weird. If anything, you'd follow the dog and not the, not Annie.
14:53 Speaker 01 Does Diego still have a dog account?
14:55 Speaker 02 Rarely posts. He's inactive. He's too busy. Josh unfollowed someone who opened a coffee shop because they couldn't bear to see them happy.
15:03 Speaker 02 Wow, Josh. Says more about you than them.
15:07 Speaker 01 So basically that person did what all those influencers on Instagram do.
15:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:11 Speaker 01 Quit your job, open, follow your dreams. By the way, there's no wrong with working nine to five and getting on with your job.
15:17 Speaker 02 No.
15:17 Speaker 01 Ignore these people.
15:18 Speaker 02 Or, as we learnt from you on Tuesday, mon to fry, six till 10.
15:22 Speaker 01 Exactly. Ignore these people that piss off and move to Dubai, because I promise you this, they'll all be back in four to five years. They always do.
15:30 Speaker 02 Another anonymous G and Dva unfollowed their best friend of 10 years. She'd started dating her ex-husband. Wow. Okay, well, I can absolutely see why you did that. For Michelle, sharing a photo of the inside of her kid's nappy was a reason to unfollow someone.
15:43 Speaker 01 Jesus Christ.
15:45 Speaker 02 I fully agree. Ellie had to unfollow a friend who was sharing her running and gym updates every day. Yes, people that share like, oh, I've gone on a run. Here's my 0.5 selfie. It's, it's quite tedious. Speaking of which, Ben, we're just, just about still enjoying your marathon training updates and your selfie attempts. Would you like to plug your sponsorship page at all?
16:09 Speaker 03 Well, I'd just like to say thank you for everyone who's, who's donated. It's been very.
16:13 Speaker 02 I actually haven't reminded you to donate yet, Jordan.
16:15 Speaker 03 Jordan's already donated.
16:16 Speaker 02 Have you donated? You did that without my prompting. Well done, you.
16:21 Speaker 01 Call yourself a friend and PA.
16:23 Speaker 02 I've donated twice, actually, so. Put it in your pipe and spoke it.
16:27 Speaker 03 Very kind. Thank you.
16:28 Speaker 01 Actually donated, using the links on Ben's Instagram.
16:31 Speaker 02 Oh.
16:32 Speaker 01 Who you run in five.
16:34 Speaker 02 Suicide and Co.
16:35 Speaker 03 Suicide and Co. They're very appreciative of all the kind donations that have come in already. I'll be showing a 0.5 selfie every weekend.
16:46 Speaker 02 On the wide lens, where you turn around. We'll get you to do some. With, talking of them running, when we were away for our weekend, Ben and Kat went out at 6:30 in the morning for a 23 kilometre run. Good on them. They are training for a marathon. And actually, Mikey and I, we were walking to breakfast as they were finishing their run, and very kindly, Ben and Kat paused to talk to us. And they were talking to us as if, as if they'd literally just got out of bed, they weren't out of breath. They're like, hello.
17:13 Speaker 01 They are specimens, aren't they?
17:14 Speaker 02 It made me sick. I thought, how, how can you do a 23 kilometre run and you've just stopped and you're just chatting to us, not out of breath? They could have done anything. So well done, you. You clearly know what you're doing. Lisa unfollows someone if they post more than once a day.
17:30 Speaker 02 Dean unfollows people who repost their birthday stories.
17:33 Speaker 01 I was going to ask you about this. I never, like, when people wish you a happy birthday and instead you repost, I'd just say, thank you. What's your, I never want to repost.
17:43 Speaker 02 The trouble, well, look, I've said before, I have problems with people who.
17:46 Speaker 01 I pants down, here we go. Buckling.
17:50 Speaker 02 People who post birthday stories to wish, let's say if I was wishing you a happy birthday, I'm all, it's always me, the poster that's in the photo. And basically, I'm using your birthday for everyone to look at a photo of me.
18:03 Speaker 01 No, I disagree, showing that we're friends.
18:06 Speaker 02 Great. Well, obviously you're friends because you're posting happy birthday. You're not going to post happy birthday to sort of Mrs. Miggins down the road, are you, that you don't know? So obviously, or if you're posting, you know, happy birthday, Brad Pitt.
18:17 Speaker 01 Mrs. Mrs. Brighton again, I want to call her.
18:20 Speaker 02 But if you really want to be, on the rare occasion I have posted happy birthday to you on social media, and I don't do happy birthdays to people now because I'm not six, I will post just a photo of you. I'm not in it. No, happy birthday at Jordan North. It's your day, it's about you, it's not about me.
18:36 Speaker 01 That's weird.
18:36 Speaker 02 I wouldn't say you have to repost. I think what you're doing and responding going, thank you so much, that's very kind.
18:41 Speaker 01 Okay.
18:42 Speaker 02 Is, is absolutely.
18:42 Speaker 01 I'd never know what to do, so I didn't post any.
18:45 Speaker 02 Um, a few G and D'vas have.
18:46 Speaker 01 Thank you for all your wonderful, lovely birthday messages, by the way, from last week.
18:50 Speaker 02 Indeed.
18:50 Speaker 01 I appreciate it.
18:51 Speaker 02 Um, a few G and D'vas have systems to help cleanse their feeds. Alex unfollows people on their birthday if they're not a close enough friend to want to say happy birthday to them. Alex apparently says, apparently I'm not the only one that does this. Compare your follower list before and after your birthday to test the theory. At the start of every year, James spends an hour or so going through their following list and removing anyone who has unfollowed them. Apparently, it's very therapeutic and keeps them aware of who they still consider a friend.
19:18 Speaker 01 Seems petty to me. Just get over it, someone who follows you.
19:22 Speaker 02 Lauren says the key is to hide them on your Instagram so you don't see their stories or posts. They're out of your sight and mind, but you're still in their sight and mind. I have been known to do that. I've done that to quite a few. Um, well, fair enough. Thank you for letting us know. We've got more of your emails, messages and letters after the break.
19:37 Speaker 01 Have you hit me?
19:38 Speaker 02 Hmm? Who said that?
19:39 Speaker 01 Have you hit me? That would bother me.
19:43 Speaker 02 You'd have to post.
19:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, fair.
19:50 Speaker 00 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast Pretty Scary, we are going to cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit in search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
20:29 Speaker 01 All right, Jean Divas, thanks for sticking with us. Let's go back to your responses, please, William Hanson.
20:34 Speaker 02 Lou's messaged in, "Hello, sexy team. I was listening to this week's episode and wanted to give Jordan some advice for aftercare following the upcoming surgery to remove his wisdom teeth. I too suffer from mouth ulcers and when I woke up from the anaesthetic after surgery, which felt like four tampons in my mouth, not pleasant."
20:51 Speaker 01 Oh god, why are you telling me this now?
20:52 Speaker 02 "I was unsurprisingly sore but eventually ended up with upwards of 20 mouth ulcers."
20:57 Speaker 01 Don't tell me this, this is my biggest fear because I get mouth ulcers at the best of time.
21:02 Speaker 02 Having sought medical advice as I was very uncomfortable and unable to sleep, both Diflam mouth spray and Ambersole liquid, not to be confused with a similarly named ointment, were recommended to ease the considerable discomfort from the ulcers. Apologies if this is a really boring message and sorry if I'm not allowed to advertise a particular product, but both were excellent and really helped. Wishing you all the best, Jordan, and looking forward to bringing my husband, a virgin Jean Diva, to see you all in Wembley in March."
21:29 Speaker 01 He'll enjoy the show. We always say, drag people along, love it. I had an ulcer at Christmas that went across my tongue as well, that bit. I was spraying all sorts of... oh, please don't say it.
21:39 Speaker 02 I'm sure you'll be fine.
21:41 Speaker 01 I'll be right, yeah. There's people that are listening having worse operations.
21:45 Speaker 02 Exactly. Sam had her Valentine's viewing ruined by a William Hanson jump scare. "Hi, William, Jordan and producer Ben. My boyfriend and I were in bed on Valentine's night watching The Lion King. His choice, romantic I know." During the pouncing lesson, Zazu is told he's up. He has to turn away, present himself, and in the most dramatic, prim, slightly outraged voice, he says, "This is so humiliating." Let's have a listen.
22:12 Speaker 04 Pouncing. Pouncing? Oh, no, sire, you can't be serious. Oh, this is so humiliating. Try not to make a sound. What are you telling him, Mufasa?
22:23 Speaker 02 Mike and I both burst out laughing and in unison said, "He sounds like William."
22:27 Speaker 04 I've never seen Lion King.
22:29 Speaker 02 Oh, right, stop the episode right now and let's watch it.
22:32 Speaker 01 There's that one.
22:33 Speaker 02 The cartoon version, not the other thing.
22:35 Speaker 01 There's that one film that no one's ever seen. We had it, I remember watching it, me and Elinda's and getting bored about 30 minutes in, but I've never seen it fully.
22:44 Speaker 02 It's a great film.
22:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I've seen clips.
22:49 Speaker 01 I've seen the bloke roaring into a bin, how they did the roar sound. It's fascinating.
22:55 Speaker 02 Aren't we basically seeing the film? You need to watch, "Oh, on your sick bed, I'll come round and we'll watch The Lion King."
23:04 Speaker 02 Yes.
23:06 Speaker 01 That actually sounds quite good.
23:07 Speaker 02 Yes, I knew you'd like it.
23:09 Speaker 01 If you bring some soup, you can.
23:10 Speaker 02 Oh.
23:11 Speaker 01 That's a deal.
23:12 Speaker 02 Can you feel the love tonight?
23:14 Speaker 01 Well, you're getting on the bed, though, you're not getting in bed with me. Deal?
23:21 Speaker 01 You can get on the bed, but you're not getting in with me.
23:22 Speaker 02 Why can't I get in with the bed with you?
23:24 Speaker 01 Because that's my, that's my bed.
23:26 Speaker 02 Well, it's big enough, I'll be on the other side.
23:28 Speaker 01 Fine, you can get in the bed, but bring some soup.
23:30 Speaker 02 Okay.
23:31 Speaker 01 But, and don't bring sourdough.
23:32 Speaker 02 Spoon? For the soup?
23:33 Speaker 01 Yes.
23:34 Speaker 02 Okay, fine.
23:34 Speaker 01 Don't bring sourdough, it's too tough. Just a nice.
23:37 Speaker 02 Oh, a homemade bread now, is it?
23:39 Speaker 01 Bring me some Warburtons, white, well.
23:41 Speaker 02 Right, okay.
23:42 Speaker 01 Thank you.
23:42 Speaker 02 Everything, apparently, about Zazu sounds like me. Not just the, not just the voice, the delivery, the wounded dignity, the theatrics. Anyway, thanks for infiltrating our Valentine's evening via a cartoon hornbill and permanently rewiring our brains, so even The Lion King now comes with a touch of innuendo.
23:58 Speaker 01 I've not seen Lion King, but I used to watch Timon and Pumbaa.
24:01 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, that was a spin-off, yeah.
24:04 Speaker 01 Was it Dig It?
24:05 Speaker 02 Whatever, yeah.
24:06 Speaker 01 It was. And Dig It on ITV.
24:08 Speaker 02 Or the Disney Channel, I think they were also on.
24:10 Speaker 01 Were they?
24:10 Speaker 02 I'd love to watch Timon and Pumbaa.
24:12 Speaker 01 Homboy, homboy.
24:13 Speaker 02 No, that's not Lion King.
24:16 Speaker 01 Is your man from?
24:17 Speaker 02 Nathan Lane.
24:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:19 Speaker 01 Pepper?
24:19 Speaker 02 And Billy, is it Billy Crystal? No, he's in Monsters, Inc. Anyway, Sigourney, oh, is it Weaver, has written in to give her tuppence. On, okay, on the hit You Can, oh god.
24:33 Speaker 02 You canny shove your granny off a bus.
24:35 Speaker 01 We're singing it in Scotland.
24:36 Speaker 02 You are.
24:37 Speaker 01 We are singing it.
24:38 Speaker 02 I'm gonna leave the stage.
24:39 Speaker 01 And we're gonna, we're gonna go through all my famous Scottish patter quotes.
24:43 Speaker 02 All right, and after that, three minutes.
24:45 Speaker 01 Pizza on your focus.
24:47 Speaker 02 You're doing them all now.
24:48 Speaker 01 How much did that watch set you back? An hour!
24:53 Speaker 02 Good evening, Jordan.
24:54 Speaker 01 Stephen, I thought you were dead.
24:56 Speaker 02 Good evening, Jordan, William P B and the rest of the team, I'm crashing on. I hope this email finds you well. I'm a long time listener and even longer admirer of Jordan from early day National Radio, brackets, previous employer. How cringe.
25:07 Speaker 01 That's not cringe, that's really lovely, thank you. It's not cringe to me, anyway.
25:11 Speaker 02 Anyway, I'm here to inform William that Jordan must sing his Scottish nursery rhyme at your Scottish show, if not at all shows, no. I was raised in London and my mum's best friend, Scottish Sue, R I P, used to pick me up from nursery and sing me, No You Canny Shove Your Granny Off A Bus. Now, being a mother of a small human, five years old on the 13th of Feb, he sings it often and when we sing it together, he shouts ding ding between verses. I think you, William, would be amazed at how many people know this song and sing along. No you canny shove your granny off a bus, ding ding, no you canny, etc. I'm not singing this.
25:42 Speaker 01 No you canny shove your granny off a bus.
25:43 Speaker 02 No, no, no.
25:45 Speaker 01 Because she's your mummy's mummy. It's just brilliant.
25:49 Speaker 02 I'd like to do a little bit more than that on our tour. Have a wonderful tour. Unfortunately, I'll not be in attendance.
25:57 Speaker 01 Casual listener.
26:00 Speaker 02 Okay, thank you. That's Sigourney from Ozre Street, I'm not saying that correctly, in Shropshire. And yes, my mother named me after Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters, namely the scene where she is possessed in lingerie. I wish I looked like her.
26:12 Speaker 01 See, I can never say her name. What is it?
26:14 Speaker 02 Sigourney.
26:15 Speaker 01 Sigourney?
26:16 Speaker 02 Sigourney.
26:16 Speaker 01 From, yeah.
26:17 Speaker 02 Sig orney.
26:18 Speaker 01 Sigourney?
26:19 Speaker 02 Yeah. It's in Stranger Things.
26:21 Speaker 01 Who am I thinking of? Winona Ryder.
26:24 Speaker 02 Winona Ryder.
26:25 Speaker 01 Winona Ryder, yeah, sorry.
26:27 Speaker 02 Winona Ryder, barely know her.
26:31 Speaker 02 Thank you.
26:33 Speaker 01 You know, it's like doing a podcast with Jim Davidson some days, isn't it?
26:37 Speaker 02 Who? Don't who Jim, I mean, yeah, but.
26:41 Speaker 01 Problematic, but it was funny.
26:42 Speaker 02 Problematic now.
26:43 Speaker 01 So don't cut it.
26:43 Speaker 02 He was fine at the time.
26:45 Speaker 01 Sitting in Skegness, actually.
26:47 Speaker 02 Did you?
26:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's a table next to me.
26:50 Speaker 02 Well, never mind.
26:51 Speaker 01 Let's finish with our comment of the week. This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials. We always finish the episode on this.
26:58 Speaker 02 Um, yeah, some honourable mentions. Uh, Francine commented on YouTube, new segment idea, William and Jordan's interior design wars. I genuinely love to see their ideas. I think it's an excellent idea. Well, basically like a Timu version of Alan and Amanda.
27:11 Speaker 01 Bitch, please.
27:12 Speaker 02 I'm being colour drenched over the weekend, uh, next weekend, actually.
27:14 Speaker 01 Doodle doodle do.
27:16 Speaker 02 Jordan, I hate that.
27:17 Speaker 01 Who got colour drenched first?
27:19 Speaker 02 Jordan, you didn't invent colour drenching. I don't know if this is harsh. It's hilarious and it's adorable. Last weekend, when we were in the sauna and we were talking about ice baths and you were considering whether you should do one or not. And Mikey said to you, I think if you did one and you posted on social media, you'd really make ice baths the thing. And you went, really? Do you think I have that much influence? Not realising he was gaslighting.
27:43 Speaker 01 Can I just say, there was a video of me trying to get in an ice bath and that will never see the light of day. Um, I'm drawing the line on that one.
27:50 Speaker 02 I might post it online.
27:51 Speaker 01 That video's highly embarrassing.
27:54 Speaker 02 I wouldn't be embarrassed. Well, I should would.
27:57 Speaker 02 Joanne and Mark were on a similar theme. Joanne said, chintz and now a shepherdess lamp were on the set of Miss Marple. In which episode will you announce the murder? Yes, um, for those that don't know, uh, a shepherdess and a shepherd lamp is a big plot point in a particular Miss Marple. So if you're, uh, familiar on that. Oh, and Mark continues. Is William looking to recreate the Agatha Christie story? A murder is announced where shepherd and shepherdess lamps are a key clue as to how the murder was done. And finally, on the topic of who is more masculine out of the two of us, Shaun argues it's a solid draw. Thank you. But our comment of the week goes to Bab, who's.
28:33 Speaker 01 Doing like Gary Neville meme again.
28:36 Speaker 02 It's worked beautifully on an audio podcast. I think William is very masculine. Jokes and camp apart, he's confident, reliable, stable, loyal and ambitious. What can be more masculine than that? Oh, thanks, love. That's nice.
28:48 Speaker 01 I shaved my chest this morning. That's masculine.
28:51 Speaker 02 If it was masculine, you'd just leave it.
28:53 Speaker 01 But now I am gonna have to nip the superdrug and get some Alavira because it's chafing.
29:03 Speaker 01 Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before. Anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a problem or a dilemma, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected] . It's a little observation. Get in touch. We also love hearing back from the people we have for advice to. So if that's you, get back in touch and we'll see you on Tuesday.
29:25 Speaker 02 Goodbye.
29:26 Speaker 01 Goodbye.
29:33 Speaker 05 The midpoint of life, a time to celebrate, take stock and ask what's next. I'm Gabby Logan and on Life at the Midpoint, I'm joined by famous faces who share how they're navigating this stage of life, plus experts with advice on change, challenges and everything in between. And I'm tackling your dilemmas and questions as we figure it all out together. Listen every Tuesday and Thursday. Search for Life at the Midpoint.
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