Ant & Dec Share YOUR Secrets

It’s another bonus episode, and this week the boys dive into your Discussion Jar questions and some VERY secret listener confessions… shhh! Find out what Dec buys incognito in the supermarket, watch Ant attempt his tiniest smile, and discover which listener stole the boys’ licence plate! Plus, what has Ant done that leaves Dec cringing with second-hand embarrassment? And what would their 10-year-old selves be most impressed by today? As always, keep your correspondence coming to [email protected]. Sign off your email with the name you’d like us to use. If you’d rather we didn’t mention your surname, simply leave it out. And if you’d like a full-name shout-out, throw the whole thing in there! ----- 00:45 - A Wild Goose Chase01:45 - Confessions Shhh!02:20 - Driveby Burger03:30 - Christmas Card Competition05:15 - Ant & Dec’s STOLEN License Plate07:08 - Dec’s Second hand embarrassment11:25 - Impressing 10 year old Ant13:30 - The Quietest Sound16:55 - Self Checkout21:10 - An Irish Goodbye Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe: The North American Dad. 50s, great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:00Speaker 02

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• 1:24Speaker 03

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• 1:35Ant McPartlin?

  What was that? What the hell was that? Oh my God, you've broken the set.

• 1:40Declan Donnelly?

  My vibes. I've broken the set.

• 1:43Ant McPartlin?

  My vibes.

• 1:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, this. Ah, is this it? Is this, is it discussion jar today?

• 1:50Speaker 06

  Please.

• 1:50Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, let's stop that. Stop your nonsense. Stop your nonsense.

• 1:57Ant McPartlin?

  Do you feel cleansed? Sit back, relax. Close your eyes and listen to Dex Bell.

• 2:08Declan Donnelly?

  I've ruined it. You ruined it.

• 2:11Ant McPartlin?

  It's not a bell, it's a ball. And we've got the discussion jar this week on the bonus episode. And on the side of the jar, it says, look under the jar on a post-it note.

• 2:23Ant McPartlin?

  Look behind the license plate, ribeye.

• 2:28Declan Donnelly?

  Ribs on the shelf. You're on a wild goose chase here, Ant. I don't know who's done this.

• 2:33Ant McPartlin?

  Look in the drawer.

• 2:35Declan Donnelly?

  Which drawer?

• 2:35Ant McPartlin?

  I don't know, look in all the drawers.

• 2:40Declan Donnelly?

  The answer machine's in here.

• 2:42Ant McPartlin?

  Go to Simon Cowell. Where's Simon Cowell?

• 2:46Declan Donnelly?

  He's over here.

• 2:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, is he? I've never seen him go over that side.

• 2:49Declan Donnelly?

  I can't really hear him.

• 2:50Ant McPartlin?

  Go to the boombox below. I like these. I love these kind of things.

• 2:58Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, love.

• 2:59Ant McPartlin?

  Press the reader then, press these.

• 3:01Declan Donnelly?

  Press the stop and check button, I haven't seen that. Oh, look.

• 3:06Ant McPartlin?

  What are these?

• 3:08Declan Donnelly?

  Got loads of discussions in here.

• 3:10Ant McPartlin?

  Are these discussions for the jar? Should these be in the jar? What are they?

• 3:13Speaker 06

  Look what they say.

• 3:14Declan Donnelly?

  Confession, shh, confession, shh.

• 3:17Ant McPartlin?

  We're doing confessions now? I love confessions. Okay. So we've got a few confessions. Should we start these before we do the jar?

• 3:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 3:26Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Let's read some confessions. I think we said it the other time, we love your confessions. And we should, this, this is a safe space if you want to get anything off your chest. If you want to confess anything, then what better place than the Hanging Out Podcast with Ant and Dex?

• 3:43Declan Donnelly?

  I'll start with this one. This is from Amy, who would like to remain anonymous. Hi, I'm Dex and team. Loving the pod, but I need to confess to a funny story, which is the opposite to Dex's theft.

• 3:55Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 3:55Declan Donnelly?

  I went to a Burger King drive-through, ordered my food and paid. I then drove to the next window to collect, only to find, unlike McDonald's, there wasn't a second window.

• 4:05Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 4:06Declan Donnelly?

  What? I was so embarrassed, I drove off without getting my burger.

• 4:12Ant McPartlin?

  You idiot.

• 4:13Declan Donnelly?

  I often think how confused they must have been when they went to give the food and I wasn't there.

• 4:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, Amy. So how does it work then in Burger King if there's not a second window? There must be.

• 4:24Ant McPartlin?

  There must be. She's missed it, hasn't she?

• 4:26Declan Donnelly?

  She's just not found the window.

• 4:27Ant McPartlin?

  She hasn't found the window.

• 4:29Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, Amy. You should have got out of the car, really, shouldn't you? And gone inside and said, I'm sorry, sorry, I can't find your second window.

• 4:36Ant McPartlin?

  Well, she was, she got embarrassed and drove off.

• 4:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 4:38Ant McPartlin?

  Nothing is that embarrassing.

• 4:40Declan Donnelly?

  And she's paid for the food.

• 4:41Ant McPartlin?

  You've paid for the food, you're gonna, now you're starving. Nothing's that embarrassing, Amy. Anonymous.

• 4:47Declan Donnelly?

  Anonymous, Amy. Oh, you poor thing.

• 4:50Ant McPartlin?

  I've got another one. I like this. These, these are good. Hi, Aunt Dex and the Hanging Out guys.

• 4:55Declan Donnelly?

  Hey.

• 4:55Ant McPartlin?

  Since I was a kid, I felt really, really bad that I won a school Christmas card competition. Because me parents were so proud, they bought lots of them to give out to friends, family, and even business contacts and clients. Proud parents, huh? Very sweet.

• 5:14Declan Donnelly?

  Very sweet.

• 5:16Ant McPartlin?

  What they don't know, nearly 40 years later, is that I actually traced the design from one of their old Christmas cards I found lying around. I remember when it was announced, the blood draining from my face, but having to pretend to be delighted, I felt awful. And to be honest, it still makes me die a little bit inside. Maybe the confession will help alleviate the guilt I still carry. Respect, guys. Anonymous. Oh, well, you're forgiven. You're forgiven. We can forgive on this topic.

• 5:45Declan Donnelly?

  We can forgive.

• 5:46Ant McPartlin?

  We forgive you.

• 5:46Declan Donnelly?

  We have the power of absolution here on the podcast.

• 5:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we do. You're forgiven.

• 5:50Declan Donnelly?

  You are forgiven. I've got one here from anonymous. Hi, boys in Heckless Corner.

• 5:55Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 5:55Declan Donnelly?

  Hi. Please keep me anonymous. My big confession is when I was about 14 or 15 in 1995, I used to go to all your concerts when yous came to Liverpool. One time at the Liverpool Empire Theatre, when yous finished, we ran around the side of the building to try and catch you both getting into your car. We managed to get there just as the side doors opened and yous were about to leave. But as there was far too many screaming girls. That's probably true. They dragged you both back inside.

• 6:28Ant McPartlin?

  Huh?

• 6:29Declan Donnelly?

  Your awaiting car was up on the side, right by the doors, so of course, we surrounded it while you were both hanging out of the windows upstairs. And some girls were putting lipstick marks all over your car. And that's when me and my friends decided, please don't stereotype now, to try and rob your license plate.

• 6:52Ant McPartlin?

  Brilliant.

• 6:52Declan Donnelly?

  Amazing. As we loved you both so much, it took us ages to get it off.

• 6:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it did.

• 7:01Declan Donnelly?

  Even while the security men looked on laughing, we broke it into pieces for each of us to keep.

• 7:07Ant McPartlin?

  Never.

• 7:08Declan Donnelly?

  When my mum come to pick me up, she noticed it in my coat and told me I was going to get into serious trouble. It took me many years to realise it would have been a hire car, not your actual car.

• 7:18Ant McPartlin?

  Exactly that.

• 7:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it was, yeah. Please do a podcast tour, I promise I won't rob nothing.

• 7:25Declan Donnelly?

  Love you both, respect, guys. That's from anonymous.

• 7:27Ant McPartlin?

  Well, anonymous, I do remember that happening. And I remember Liverpool being particularly busy.

• 7:35Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 7:36Ant McPartlin?

  It was busy, wasn't it?

• 7:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Yeah. It was always great crowds in Liverpool.

• 7:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, loud, but busy. I remember finding it very hard to get out of the venues in Liverpool.

• 7:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. There was lots and lots of screaming girls. I mean.

• 7:50Ant McPartlin?

  What can, what can we say? Thanks, guys.

• 7:53Declan Donnelly?

  Not quite Beatlemania, but not far off. No, it was, it was always good crowds in there. Although I don't remember losing all license plates.

• 8:00Ant McPartlin?

  I don't remember, but she, she's right, though. I presume it's the she, we don't know.

• 8:04Declan Donnelly?

  We don't know.

• 8:04Ant McPartlin?

  She, he?

• 8:05Declan Donnelly?

  We don't know.

• 8:05Ant McPartlin?

  They are right, it was a hire car.

• 8:08Declan Donnelly?

  And we probably got charged for that.

• 8:09Ant McPartlin?

  We would have got charged for that, and we would have got charged whenever anybody defaced the car, because they would write, they'd write not only in lipstick, they'd write in marker pen all over the car as well.

• 8:17Declan Donnelly?

  They'd write messages on our tour van, tour bus.

• 8:20Ant McPartlin?

  They'd write their phone numbers on there.

• 8:22Speaker 06

  Wow.

• 8:22Ant McPartlin?

  I tried calling them a couple of times, didn't work.

• 8:26Ant McPartlin?

  Mr. Digit off. I had called me, Mr. Digit off. Make them feel wanted. We like them. Keep the confessions coming in. We will keep you anonymous and we will forgive you.

• 8:37Declan Donnelly?

  Let's open up the discussion jar and see what's in it today.

• 8:41Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, you've gone for the tip out.

• 8:43Declan Donnelly?

  I've gone for the tip. Do you want to pick out?

• 8:45Ant McPartlin?

  Well, it's just fun, a bit of fun.

• 8:47Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, okay, I'll put them all back in again. Pick one.

• 8:51Ant McPartlin?

  I tip one out for us? Yes, let's have a little fiddle around in here.

• 8:55Declan Donnelly?

  Have a little rummage.

• 8:56Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 8:57Declan Donnelly?

  Whizzle rummage.

• 8:58Ant McPartlin?

  Did you ever get second-hand embarrassment, perhaps for something the other one of you does?

• 9:05Declan Donnelly?

  Does? Has done.

• 9:07Ant McPartlin?

  Does.

• 9:08Declan Donnelly?

  We talked about this a bit yesterday, didn't we?

• 9:10Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 9:10Declan Donnelly?

  About, I got second-hand embarrassment for you.

• 9:12Ant McPartlin?

  When?

• 9:13Declan Donnelly?

  Talking to the boy band Blue.

• 9:18Ant McPartlin?

  Did you get second-hand embarrassment?

• 9:20Declan Donnelly?

  Of course I did. I was like, ooh. Tell everybody, tell everybody what happened.

• 9:24Ant McPartlin?

  So I asked a member of the boy band Blue if you would be on I'm a Celebrity, whether he would ever do the show. Because another one of them, Anthony Costa, had just done it. And I said, oh, you're so good in it. I said, did you enjoy it? And he was like, well, eventually it was tough going though, it was harder than I thought it would be. And I was like, it's good fun, though. I said, you should do it, Simon. He went, I've done it, mate.

• 9:48Ant McPartlin?

  So, yeah, it does happen. And I'm sure, I'm sure I've got embarrassed with something you've done.

• 9:54Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I'm sure.

• 9:55Ant McPartlin?

  I still do.

• 9:56Declan Donnelly?

  I'm sure.

• 9:57Ant McPartlin?

  Nothing I can mention on this podcast.

• 10:01Ant McPartlin?

  Two things sprung to mind, but I can't.

• 10:03Speaker 06

  What sprung to my mind is a certain number of the team high fiving Simon Cowell.

• 10:08Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah. It's one of our team came up to us during the film in the last series of Britain's Got Talent and went, guys, quick question, does Simon Cowell do high fives? And we were like, not really, he's not really, he doesn't really do high fives. She was like, oh no, that's what I thought. And you know how Simon, if you ever watch the show and he like stops and acts, he goes, ah, like that.

• 10:32Declan Donnelly?

  He puts his hand up.

• 10:32Ant McPartlin?

  He puts his hand up like this.

• 10:34Declan Donnelly?

  In, in what, to be fair, looks a little bit like a call for a high five.

• 10:39Ant McPartlin?

  A, a mid five.

• 10:41Declan Donnelly?

  So he came over, she was in conversation, they, he, she or they were in conversation. Simon approached the group, put his hand up and said, uh, guys. To which point she turned around, they turned around and said, oh, hi, Simon.

• 10:56Ant McPartlin?

  Hiya.

• 10:57Declan Donnelly?

  And high fived him.

• 10:59Ant McPartlin?

  Of course, it turns out was just finding out from his team where his glasses were. Misplaced his glasses.

• 11:05Declan Donnelly?

  And then turned around and walked off. Let us know if you've ever suffered from secondhand embarrassment from a friend or loved one. We'll read them out on the pod.

• 11:15Declan Donnelly?

  This next bit's brought to you by Gemini, Google's AI app. Golf was good the other day.

• 11:20Ant McPartlin?

  It was good, wasn't it?

• 11:21Declan Donnelly?

  I loved it.

• 11:22Ant McPartlin?

  Are you stiff?

• 11:23Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my God.

• 11:24Ant McPartlin?

  I'm really stiff. Like I'd never, I never used to get this stiff.

• 11:27Declan Donnelly?

  Obviously we're getting a bit older.

• 11:28Ant McPartlin?

  Do you want me to ask Gemini, see if there's a good kitchen stretch?

• 11:31Declan Donnelly?

  I think that is a very good idea.

• 11:32Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, please, can you give Deck some stretches to do after golf in the kitchen when the kids go to bed? Okay, Gemini says, here's a quick, quiet kitchen routine for Deck. Hold each for 20 to 30 seconds and breathe deeply.

• 11:51Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 11:52Ant McPartlin?

  Lat and spine stretch. Grip the edge of the sink, step back, hinge at the hips until the torso is parallel to this. This is the kitchen sink. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's a good one. So breathe, breathe, breathe.

• 12:08Declan Donnelly?

  It's got me hammies as well, that.

• 12:09Ant McPartlin?

  And breathe out. There you go. Well done. The kids are in bed, so you can't, you can't be that loud.

• 12:14Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:15Ant McPartlin?

  You remember?

• 12:17Declan Donnelly?

  That's a good little routine, man.

• 12:17Ant McPartlin?

  That was good, good little routine.

• 12:19Declan Donnelly?

  We don't stretch enough, full stop.

• 12:20Ant McPartlin?

  We don't stretch enough.

• 12:21Declan Donnelly?

  We don't stretch ourselves.

• 12:25Declan Donnelly?

  We're in our comfort zone.

• 12:26Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, there you go. With Gemini, you can chat live with the truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, get some fitness tips, ask for more details or even show what you're talking about by sharing your screen or your camera as well. It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 12:41Declan Donnelly?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

• 12:46Ant McPartlin?

  Check responses, setup required, compatibility and availability varies.

• 12:50Declan Donnelly?

  Eighteen plus.

• 12:53Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. If your 10 year old self spent a day with you now, what would impress them the most? And what would they think was deeply boring?

• 13:02Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's quite a tough one, isn't it? Everything, I think, would impress them. I mean, we've got the coolest jobs in the world.

• 13:10Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 13:10Ant McPartlin?

  Haven't we? We'd get to work in telly, you know.

• 13:14Declan Donnelly?

  And in entertainment.

• 13:15Ant McPartlin?

  In entertainment, we're on the telly, we, we, we do a podcast, not that podcasts were even a thing when we were 10. But the fact that we, we work in this industry would be the biggest flex. And it would though, it still is. I'm still impressed by what we do. I'm still proud of what we do. So that would be, that would be the main thing. Meetings, I think, the 10, my 10 year old self would find boring. I find them boring. Still now, 50.

• 13:43Declan Donnelly?

  Do you think it would be those meetings where you have to stare at the screen with the different coloured shows?

• 13:49Ant McPartlin?

  I find most meetings boring.

• 13:51Declan Donnelly?

  Do you?

• 13:51Ant McPartlin?

  We could sack off half the meetings we do.

• 13:53Declan Donnelly?

  Do you reckon?

• 13:54Ant McPartlin?

  Absolutely. Just chat.

• 13:58Declan Donnelly?

  Just relax and chat.

• 13:59Ant McPartlin?

  Just chat in a room.

• 14:00Declan Donnelly?

  Just chat. Isn't that what a meeting is?

• 14:01Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but, but don't make it so formal. You get what I'm saying? There's too many spreadsheets and what they're called?

• 14:10Speaker 06

  Excel.

• 14:11Ant McPartlin?

  Excel PowerPoint things. There's too many of them things.

• 14:14Declan Donnelly?

  Too many. Everybody loves a deck nowadays, don't they?

• 14:16Ant McPartlin?

  Everyone loves, oh God, yeah, I'm sick of decks. Everyone loves a deck and everybody loves a shared file.

• 14:22Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't get into entertainment to have shared files.

• 14:24Ant McPartlin?

  That's true, isn't it? Who cares about that?

• 14:26Declan Donnelly?

  That's not what I got into showbiz.

• 14:27Ant McPartlin?

  10 year old me would be very impressed by the job we do, but would hate the meetings. A bit like 50 year old me. It's exactly the same.

• 14:34Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I totally agree. That was what I was going to say. It's, uh, obviously the fun bits of the job, like doing this show, doing Britain's Got Talent and I'm a Celebrity, that is the fun stuff. Yeah, the boring bit is the prep you have to do for those, the meetings, the.

• 14:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, all of that.

• 14:51Ant McPartlin?

  We should just take a leaf out of Simon Cowell's book and stop doing boring things. Uh, next from the discussion jar is us. What's the quietest sound you can make? That's a good one, isn't it?

• 15:03Declan Donnelly?

  It's great.

• 15:03Ant McPartlin?

  Especially for a podcast where it's mainly an audio medium.

• 15:16Declan Donnelly?

  It's very quiet.

• 15:17Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks.

• 15:22Declan Donnelly?

  Did you hear that?

• 15:22Speaker 06

  No.

• 15:25Ant McPartlin?

  I heard it. It's like a clack at the back of your throat. How are you making that noise?

• 15:29Declan Donnelly?

  It's on my tongue.

• 15:30Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, don't do that.

• 15:31Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 15:32Ant McPartlin?

  Just tell us, don't, don't, don't show us.

• 15:35Declan Donnelly?

  There.

• 15:46Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, that's what I'll be doing for the rest of the day now.

• 15:48Declan Donnelly?

  It's like the TikTok of a grandfather club.

• 15:51Speaker 06

  Have you seen that thing, who can do the smallest smile?

• 15:53Ant McPartlin?

  The smallest smile? Oh, let's try that.

• 15:56Declan Donnelly?

  That's not great for a podcast. Not as good as the sound for a podcast.

• 15:58Ant McPartlin?

  It's good for YouTube though. Good for YouTube.

• 16:00Declan Donnelly?

  Do it in your close up camera.

• 16:04Declan Donnelly?

  That's, you look like you're at the Cornish again.

• 16:10Ant McPartlin?

  Right, go, go.

• 16:12Speaker 06

  But look at each other.

• 16:14Ant McPartlin?

  No, I'm not looking at him.

• 16:15Speaker 06

  We're gonna watch each other's. Yeah, I think you need to look at each other and do it.

• 16:20Ant McPartlin?

  Whoa, you look weird.

• 16:21Declan Donnelly?

  What do you mean?

• 16:29Declan Donnelly?

  Do yours?

• 16:30Ant McPartlin?

  It's your, actually, Larry.

• 16:36Declan Donnelly?

  That's quite big.

• 16:37Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 16:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 16:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. You look like you're having a dump.

• 16:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's good. I like that. That's fun. Let's have another one. Love that. Specs on.

• 16:56Ant McPartlin?

  We haven't done the old discussion jar for a while, have we?

• 16:58Declan Donnelly?

  No, I like it. Can you guess each other's screen time correctly? Screen time for today, we are currently at half past two in the afternoon. So, and screen time for today, I know you had a journey here in the car.

• 17:12Ant McPartlin?

  I did.

• 17:13Declan Donnelly?

  You would have been on your phone and I know you watch stuff. Hmm. Did you watch it on your phone or did you watch it on your laptop? I think you watched it on your phone. So I'm going to say that, that, I'm going to say it is two hours

• 17:28Declan Donnelly?

  and 40 minutes.

• 17:30Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 17:32Ant McPartlin?

  You would have also watched it on your phone on the way in, but your journey time was probably half the time of mine. I reckon yours is 50 minutes.

• 17:47Ant McPartlin?

  My actual time is one hour and 42 minutes.

• 17:53Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 17:54Ant McPartlin?

  Screen time. An hour less than what you thought.

• 17:57Declan Donnelly?

  My screen time is also one hour and 14 minutes.

• 18:05Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 18:05Declan Donnelly?

  So full.

• 18:07Ant McPartlin?

  What, you be doing scroll the way?

• 18:09Declan Donnelly?

  So what are you, one hour and 50?

• 18:11Ant McPartlin?

  One 42.

• 18:12Declan Donnelly?

  One 42 and one 14 at half past two in the afternoon.

• 18:16Ant McPartlin?

  This feels like a meaty one. At Country Death Song commented, would love to hear and get started on self checkouts. Self checkouts. What are your views on them and would you go back to a time without them? Hell yes. You don't want to get me started on them. They don't work.

• 18:35Declan Donnelly?

  Well, they do.

• 18:35Ant McPartlin?

  They don't work. Every time you scan something and then you try and put it in the bag, it doesn't recognise it's in the bag, which is a pain. Then you've got to get the person over to help you. Make sure you, they've got to get their staff ID, then they've got to press it against the screen. And then they've got to go back to the whole process again and put it back in the bag. And if you try and put three items of the same thing in, like three Snickers, for example.

• 19:00Declan Donnelly?

  Just off the top of my head.

• 19:01Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, which happened the other day. By the time you get to the third one, it thinks there's some kind of error. So then you've got to get the person over and then they've got to, you've got to show three stickers. Yes, I really want three stickers. Yes, I just, I just love stickers. What can I say? And bananas. Yes, I've got a bunch of bananas. I've got to weigh them. So I've got to, I've got to take the time to weigh them, the bananas, and then get them scanned. They've got to go in. They don't work. I don't think it helps anyone.

• 19:26Declan Donnelly?

  Do you think you just haven't mastered them yet?

• 19:28Ant McPartlin?

  No, I don't. I would rather go to a checkout with somebody who works at the checkout. And I can say, hello, how was your day? How are you today? I'd rather have a chat with someone and if there is any issues with weighing stuff or more than one chocolate bar, that, you know, you can have that chat. They can deal with it all.

• 19:51Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 19:52Ant McPartlin?

  Don't have time for it. And some of them now, there's some self checkouts where you're not allowed to leave the pen that the checkouts are in until you flash up the receipt to prove you've bought the things. Yes, I have bought the things. Not only have I bought the things, I've struggled to buy the things.

• 20:11Declan Donnelly?

  You've made it very difficult to buy these things.

• 20:13Ant McPartlin?

  Very difficult. Now we're going to prove that I bought them to get out of the pen that you penned me in.

• 20:19Declan Donnelly?

  I just think maybe you haven't quite mastered.

• 20:21Ant McPartlin?

  I don't want to master it. I don't want to get better at it. I want somebody else to do it.

• 20:28Ant McPartlin?

  I do. I'm quite happy going to a checkout and, and having a cashier there and help me do it.

• 20:34Declan Donnelly?

  As a man who is.

• 20:35Ant McPartlin?

  Which I am.

• 20:36Declan Donnelly?

  Famous, famous on TV.

• 20:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 20:39Declan Donnelly?

  Do you get sometimes when you do go to the checkout and the lady's there, oh man, could be a man, is bleeping away? Do they ever go, oh, do you get this, do you? And pass comment on your basket?

• 20:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, possibly. Yeah, I think so. Do you get that a lot? Does that would stop you using it? Is that why?

• 20:58Declan Donnelly?

  Little bit.

• 20:59Ant McPartlin?

  You don't want comment passed on what you buy?

• 21:00Declan Donnelly?

  I just want to be a bit incognito about one.

• 21:02Ant McPartlin?

  What do you want to buy? It's in such secrecy. Yeah, that's got you all thinking, isn't it? What is Deck buying that he doesn't want to comment on? Hmm?

• 21:13Declan Donnelly?

  Garlic bread?

• 21:15Ant McPartlin?

  Have you shopped in the kids' section again?

• 21:20Declan Donnelly?

  Extra large boys? Extra large boys t-shirts are a bit cheaper. Still fit. No, yeah, I just, I find people passing comment on my things sometimes a bit like.

• 21:30Ant McPartlin?

  Invasive.

• 21:30Declan Donnelly?

  Invasive.

• 21:31Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 21:31Declan Donnelly?

  I had it in a, in a, in a restaurant once. I got me food. And it was, it was delicious. And I ate it. It was a superfood salad and I added a chicken breast to it.

• 21:41Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 21:42Declan Donnelly?

  So I sat there, I ate it. I had a very nice meal. I was very hungry. I'd been intermittent fasting, so I was ready for it. I ate it. No problem. The waitress came over, looked over me shoulder and she went, oh, you've done well. That's a big eat that.

• 22:02Declan Donnelly?

  And I found myself, I was really hungry.

• 22:06Ant McPartlin?

  Justifying your hunger.

• 22:07Declan Donnelly?

  I hadn't had any breakfast and I was really hungry. And I was like, why am I justifying?

• 22:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 22:13Declan Donnelly?

  But as if I went, oh, you've done well. That's a big eat that.

• 22:15Ant McPartlin?

  So you like to keep your private life private, is what you're saying? Is that what you're saying?

• 22:20Declan Donnelly?

  Is that what I'm saying?

• 22:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you want to shop, you want to self-service because you like to do it yourself. You don't want to, you're on talk to members of the public.

• 22:27Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 22:29Ant McPartlin?

  We've established you hate the public. Okay, right. Next one.

• 22:33Declan Donnelly?

  Make it a good one.

• 22:36Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, good one.

• 22:37Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 22:38Declan Donnelly?

  What are your thoughts on an Irish exit?

• 22:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, an Irish goodbye.

• 22:43Declan Donnelly?

  An Irish goodbye. If you don't know what that is, it's where you just leave. Me and my wife have very different ideas on the Irish exit. The current Mrs. Donnelly likes to go and say goodbye to everybody. Whereas I just go, just get your coat and let's just slip out while nobody's looking. They won't know we've gone.

• 23:02Ant McPartlin?

  Couldn't agree more. With you.

• 23:04Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you.

• 23:05Ant McPartlin?

  Not your wife.

• 23:06Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 23:07Ant McPartlin?

  My thoughts on Irish goodbyes are, I'm all for them and I don't, you're going to spend 20 minutes going around the party.

• 23:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 23:13Ant McPartlin?

  To say goodbye.

• 23:14Declan Donnelly?

  And when you go, we're ready to go, go great, let's go. Just got to go and say goodbye to everybody.

• 23:19Ant McPartlin?

  No, because people, most of the time have been drinking. So then they'll take ages to say goodbye and then it takes ages to get back around the room again. You've only, you've normally said hello to everybody. You've chatted to everybody.

• 23:31Declan Donnelly?

  And also there's the danger that whilst you're saying goodbyes, whilst you're around there saying goodbyes, somebody brings you another drink.

• 23:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 23:40Declan Donnelly?

  And she'll go, we've just got to finish it. We'll just drink this one and then we'll go. No, it's already 20 past nine and it's past my bedtime.

• 23:49Ant McPartlin?

  The only thing I would say is if it's a birthday party or a wedding, for example, right? The person in question, whether the bride and groom or the person whose birthday it is, say goodbye to them. The rest of the people don't, don't matter.

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 24:03Ant McPartlin?

  Great.

• 24:04Declan Donnelly?

  I agreed.

• 24:04Ant McPartlin?

  Good. Yeah, yeah. Well done. Well done. Well done.

• 24:07Declan Donnelly?

  Now, who's going to tell the wives?

• 24:12Declan Donnelly?

  That looks like it's the end of the episode then. We're all done there. Thank you for that. We'll be back on Thursday with the main pod if Ant is happy to return. Remember to give us a like and a follow and a subscribe and all of that. We'll see you on Thursday back for the main pod. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Bye.

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