Pretty Little Episode #53

Mae and Fortune talk spin the bottle, muscle shirts, nose piercings, and reveal their secrets on another Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy. So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:25Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Handsome. Chat to my friends on the Handsome Pod. Chat to my friends on the Handsome Pod. Pretty little episode.

• 1:51Fortune Feimster?

  Welcome to the Handsome Pods pretty little episode. I'm Fortune Feimster.

• 1:56Mae Martin?

  I'm Mae Martin. Hello.

• 1:58Fortune Feimster?

  And May, I have to say, you're looking pretty handsome.

• 2:02Mae Martin?

  Oh, thanks. The tank top is referring to the tank.

• 2:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, because you you told us in another episode that you rocked one of those on stage. And I assumed you did that all the time. You said you do not. And now you're rocking it with us today. And we're all going wild.

• 2:19Mae Martin?

  People are losing their minds. By people, I mean you and Thomas. I don't, it's hot today and I didn't have time to change and I'm I'm just seeing how it feels, how it affects my personality. I'm gonna try and wear it a lot this summer, I think.

• 2:35Fortune Feimster?

  You look tough.

• 2:36Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 2:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 2:37Mae Martin?

  You scared?

• 2:39Fortune Feimster?

  No, I mean, in a good way.

• 2:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it makes me want to get more tattoos. Like, it makes me want to really go the whole hog and...

• 2:50Fortune Feimster?

  Let's see your, let's see your tat, the one tat over here, this one.

• 2:55Mae Martin?

  Oh, I got, that's like, some years, like I got

• 3:01Mae Martin?

  a 12 in 2012, 16 in 2016, and a 22 in 22.

• 3:06Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 3:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:08Fortune Feimster?

  Are you thinking of like, on the arm or something?

• 3:10Mae Martin?

  Well, I'm running out of real estate, Fortune, but I'm thinking about like, back of the arm, like on the tricep, or maybe, I don't know.

• 3:19Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 3:20Mae Martin?

  Around my belly button, a big, like a face where the belly button's the mouth.

• 3:23Fortune Feimster?

  No, don't do that.

• 3:25Mae Martin?

  No, just kidding.

• 3:27Fortune Feimster?

  I'm too much of a wuss to get a tat.

• 3:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're not good with with pain.

• 3:33Fortune Feimster?

  With pain, yeah.

• 3:34Mae Martin?

  Do you have pierced ears?

• 3:36Fortune Feimster?

  I sure do. I got these when I was 18.

• 3:39Mae Martin?

  I think that's worse than a tattoo.

• 3:41Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 3:42Mae Martin?

  Well, it depends. Yeah.

• 3:44Fortune Feimster?

  I'm glad I got them pierced because I had to wear the clip-ons for a sketch the other week. And owie.

• 3:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, my mom wore clip-ons growing up. I always remember she had ones with fur on them, like furry clip-ons. Yeah, that's, so did you, is that why you got your ears pierced? Because you were tired of wearing those clip-ons?

• 4:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, they, I just didn't want my ears always hurting. And I was like, I think that the piercing would be a much easier road.

• 4:14Mae Martin?

  If you got a little nose stud, it would change your whole... Life.

• 4:20Fortune Feimster?

  One of these. I not really looking for that. I'm not really, Jags has one, but.

• 4:25Mae Martin?

  Oh, really?

• 4:26Fortune Feimster?

  Like a little. Yeah, a little stud.

• 4:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:28Fortune Feimster?

  I just was never, I'm just simple. I'm a simple gal, May.

• 4:32Mae Martin?

  You're a simple gal. You're wearing a really good t-shirt. Asheville.

• 4:35Fortune Feimster?

  Shout out to Asheville, North Carolina.

• 4:38Mae Martin?

  It says 10,000 lesbians can't be wrong.

• 4:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. Someone gave me this shirt when I was in Asheville, not this time of the last. I think it means that there are this many lesbians in Asheville. I don't know if that's an exact number. And they love it and they can't be wrong for living there.

• 5:00Mae Martin?

  I'm just quickly Googling population of Asheville, because I want to know what percentage we're talking.

• 5:05Fortune Feimster?

  Because, because when they do the census, are they asking people if they're lesbians?

• 5:09Mae Martin?

  Well, that's what I want to know. So the.

• 5:11Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think so, right?

• 5:13Mae Martin?

  Population's only like 100,000, so that's 10%, 10%.

• 5:17Fortune Feimster?

  That's a lot of lesbians in one area.

• 5:20Mae Martin?

  Wait, but don't they say 10% of people in general are, are gay? So.

• 5:23Fortune Feimster?

  You know, I don't know the stats. I just know.

• 5:27Mae Martin?

  On the stats.

• 5:27Fortune Feimster?

  I just joke that the lesbians in Nashville are, you know, on the mountain somewhere. And when someone comes to town that is some representation, the, the bat signal goes out.

• 5:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:39Fortune Feimster?

  And they just hook carabiners to each other and make their way down the mountain.

• 5:45Mae Martin?

  I haven't heard the word carabiners in a while.

• 5:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yep. That, you know, it's a, a good old camping tool and, and a nice keychain.

• 5:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I bet if they, if on the, if they included bi curious people, it'd be, would be up to 40,000.

• 6:02Fortune Feimster?

  I feel like there are more, more ladies, I think, are becoming curious these days, don't you think?

• 6:09Mae Martin?

  I think that's because of stigma. I think they just feel safer to say it. I think it's the same for men or more probably. Yeah.

• 6:15Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 6:15Mae Martin?

  For sure. Think about the army, the Navy, ancient Greece.

• 6:19Fortune Feimster?

  Think about it.

• 6:19Mae Martin?

  Jail. Just think about it.

• 6:21Fortune Feimster?

  I just think women are getting exasperated by a certain age by men. Not all, hashtag not all. Um, but they're just like, well, maybe it would be nice to have a lady tell me I'm pretty and, you know, want to hold my hand.

• 6:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that does seem to happen more than like men getting to like 45 and being like, I just want to hang out with another guy.

• 6:47Fortune Feimster?

  Like the.

• 6:49Fortune Feimster?

  You know who really uses a nice cuddle from my bro friend?

• 6:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, they're not as open to that.

• 6:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they should be.

• 6:56Fortune Feimster?

  But ladies are, ladies are a little more fluid.

• 6:58Mae Martin?

  Why don't, you know how I always play spin the bottle at parties?

• 7:01Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 7:02Mae Martin?

  I always instigate it. I've never, you've never been at a party where I have.

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  I don't get invited to spin the bottle parties, weirdly enough.

• 7:09Mae Martin?

  You're gonna, but.

• 7:10Fortune Feimster?

  Especially when I, especially in my married days, I really didn't get invited.

• 7:14Mae Martin?

  You guys left before the, uh, the chaos ensued.

• 7:17Fortune Feimster?

  No one wanted the married couple at the spin the bottle party.

• 7:21Mae Martin?

  But I always notice when I, when I introduce spin the bottle, it's always the straight guys that are so excited to have an excuse to kiss each other. They're so, so into it. Well, if they're, if they're.

• 7:33Fortune Feimster?

  They're like, if I must kiss this strong bearded man.

• 7:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they're going in for round two. They're.

• 7:39Fortune Feimster?

  Wow. Okay. Well, you get people just, uh, feeling loose, I guess.

• 7:45Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 7:49Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 7:50Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 7:51Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 7:51Mae Martin?

  Um, Thomas came over today to, uh, fix my tech.

• 7:55Fortune Feimster?

  How did it, did it work out?

• 7:56Mae Martin?

  It worked out great and it was nice to have a little visit and we played foosball and it was good.

• 8:01Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I was hoping y'all got some foosball then. May kicked my ass. Two games in a row. May's pretty good from what I hear. They're pretty good.

• 8:09Mae Martin?

  That's just because I own a table, so I play a lot, but, um, I didn't realize that Thomas plays pinball like a lot. And so that's, I'm thinking I might go to the pinball place and start to dip my toe in because there's tournaments and stuff.

• 8:23Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 8:24Mae Martin?

  Something I could really immerse myself in, get really obsessed.

• 8:27Fortune Feimster?

  You might end up buying your own pinball machine at some point.

• 8:30Mae Martin?

  It's a matter of time until pinball machine, uh, photo booth would be great.

• 8:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 8:36Mae Martin?

  That must be expensive though. Vintage photo booth and it break all the time.

• 8:40Fortune Feimster?

  I think that someone should make a handsome pinball machine. How cool would that be?

• 8:44Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. And it goes like into our mouths.

• 8:47Fortune Feimster?

  Into our mouths. Yeah.

• 8:48Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. And at one point you get the most points if the ball goes up and it goes between two boobs and gets motorboated.

• 8:55Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 8:58Fortune Feimster?

  There's so, there, there would be a lot of references in there. Pineapples, ghosts, aunties.

• 9:04Mae Martin?

  That'd be great.

• 9:05Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I mean, many, put, put it on the list. So many things.

• 9:09Mae Martin?

  I saw there's already a, uh, I don't know if it was someone. Like our people that did like the handsome monopoly game because we talked about it.

• 9:19Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:19Mae Martin?

  That was great.

• 9:20Fortune Feimster?

  Autumn put that together.

• 9:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that was hilarious.

• 9:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's always they're always doing some fun things on that our socials. It's so it's such a treat to see the things that Autumn comes up with.

• 9:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Um, Fortune, how are you? That was so weird.

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  How are you?

• 9:38Mae Martin?

  I mean, how are you? And also, how are you?

• 9:40Fortune Feimster?

  I'm great.

• 9:41Mae Martin?

  How's your morning been? Are you having another like crazy day where you're just?

• 9:44Fortune Feimster?

  No, yesterday was insane. I literally did not stop from 8am until 10pm.

• 9:49Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 9:50Fortune Feimster?

  Not a second. Um, today has been much better. I got to swim today. So that's always a sign of a good day.

• 9:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, nice.

• 9:58Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, and, uh, I'm going on a dinner date with my good friend Zach Noe Towers.

• 10:04Mae Martin?

  Oh, nice.

• 10:04Fortune Feimster?

  Um, which you guys got to meet at some point. He's delightful.

• 10:08Mae Martin?

  I'd love to meet him. He's this is he's like a sweet, gentle.

• 10:12Fortune Feimster?

  Sweet, gentle, gay, stand up comic.

• 10:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'd love to meet him.

• 10:16Fortune Feimster?

  But also like, um, very sex positive and very like, uh, is non-monogamous and proud of it and will always be. And so it's fun to hear his stories of being out gallivanting around town.

• 10:32Mae Martin?

  Get him to the spin the bottle party.

• 10:34Fortune Feimster?

  He would soar at this party, May.

• 10:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:38Fortune Feimster?

  Y'all would be good wing people for each other.

• 10:41Mae Martin?

  We one time I was at a party, I mean, in my twenties, I was, you know, a lot crazier, but I was at a party at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with Brett Goldstein and and a bunch of British comics and I was so drunk, but we instigated a game where basically one person would get blindfolded and lie on a bed and then one by one, we would kiss them and there were maybe like 15 people playing.

• 11:04Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 11:05Mae Martin?

  And then they had to say who the best.

• 11:07Fortune Feimster?

  Who the best kisser was.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  What number?

• 11:09Fortune Feimster?

  Like real kisses?

• 11:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and it was always Brett and I think that that's partly because they felt his beard and they knew who it was and they just wanted to.

• 11:21Mae Martin?

  I think that was part of it, but also he's a great kisser.

• 11:23Fortune Feimster?

  They just were hoping that he would want to go on a date.

• 11:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:26Fortune Feimster?

  Brett is a handsome man, that is for sure.

• 11:29Mae Martin?

  He really is.

• 11:30Fortune Feimster?

  But he probably is also a good kisser.

• 11:33Mae Martin?

  He is a good kisser. He's a great kisser.

• 11:34Fortune Feimster?

  This came as wild. What, I am living such a boring life.

• 11:40Mae Martin?

  There was, it felt very high school, though, very like, and there was definitely a moment, like, there's always a moment where kind of you step back and are like, what are we doing? Um, we should, this is weird. We should stop that.

• 11:53Fortune Feimster?

  You're like, after all 15 people kissed each other, we were like, what are we doing?

• 11:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Fortune Feimster?

  Well, listen, I, uh, live your best life. Do your thing. That's what I say. You're having a good time.

• 12:08Mae Martin?

  Well, I was. I gotta bring some of that back.

• 12:11Fortune Feimster?

  You do. You need to get back into that energy.

• 12:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, instead of like retreating to the woods.

• 12:17Fortune Feimster?

  Don't do that.

• 12:18Mae Martin?

  To do my paintings.

• 12:19Fortune Feimster?

  Do it when you need to refresh, but also enjoy life.

• 12:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 12:23Mae Martin?

  Should we hear some questions?

• 12:24Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it.

• 12:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 00

  Hello, Handsoms. My name is Caroline, sending you a question from Omaha, Nebraska. My question for you is, when you were growing up or present day, is there a game that you and your friends or family play when everybody's together, like back in town? It could be a board game, a card game, any kind of game. And do you love that you guys are always doing that activity or not so much? Can't wait to hear your answers.

• 12:59Mae Martin?

  We just talked about a game.

• 13:01Fortune Feimster?

  That's less of a family game. That's not a family game, for sure.

• 13:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, what about you?

• 13:06Fortune Feimster?

  Don't do that game. Don't do the smooching game with your fam.

• 13:09Mae Martin?

  No.

• 13:10Fortune Feimster?

  You strike me as someone that would have a game family.

• 13:14Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, it's like how we connect, I think. I mean, I, I think I talked about it. How we connect the four of us.

• 13:27Mae Martin?

  Uh, my, my mom and dad play every day at 4pm. They play Scrabble and cribbage and

• 13:34Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 13:35Mae Martin?

  Like for two hours, they play games, but we play poker as a family now and, uh, and they just annihilate us. Um, so we play poker and there's a lot of trash talk, but growing up, the only thing I can think of is, um, that was pretty weird was my grandma's husband, uh, and my grandma died when I was really little. So I was, I would have been like two when this happened, but I remember it that he was a carpenter. And so he invented this club that was like the loon club or something. And he would carve these little badges with like birds on them. And so me and my brother, I was like two, my brother's six. And we were like, how do we get in this club? Basically. And he was like, I don't know. Um, you know,

• 14:18Mae Martin?

  it's not for kids and stuff. And, but what it was, was you had to walk around the perimeter of the cottage, uh, at night by yourself. That's what, I mean, they were just messing with us.

• 14:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 14:29Mae Martin?

  But that was like how you get in the club. And I remember being two and it was snowing and I went out and, and I was two. I was like, was anyone watching me? And I walked around in the woods around the house.

• 14:40Fortune Feimster?

  That is a young age to be just gallivanting around in the snow.

• 14:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Around the house at night. They were probably watching me from the window.

• 14:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 14:48Mae Martin?

  What about you?

• 14:51Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, my family was not a big game family. We were more of a, a sporty family.

• 14:55Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 14:56Fortune Feimster?

  Um, so we would play tennis together, soccer outside, or throw catch, um, or play catch, whatever.

• 15:05Mae Martin?

  Would you, are you and your brother competitive with each other?

• 15:08Fortune Feimster?

  None of us, I mean, we like to win, but none of us would get so crazy. We're like, you know, you, you hear these stories of people and families like having crazy outbursts. Like it was never like that. We're, we would get, we would like want to win, but we would be chill too.

• 15:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 15:25Mae Martin?

  I'm pretty chill about losing and stuff. But I know that my parents, cause they play every day. It's like, for sure. There have been moments where it's put a strain. Like, my mom's convinced that my dad has this crazy luck. And she's like, it's not fair cause he has this insane luck. So with Scrabble, which is not a luck game, but she's like, it is a luck game because of the, the letters that you choose. And he always gets like the Y and she gets stuck with like,

• 15:52Mae Martin?

  Shitty letter, like a V or whatever. So now at the beginning of the game, they divide up. They make sure they have an equal number of like vowels and stuff like, which kind of takes out a lot of the fun of the game, but it's, they make sure they have an equal chance.

• 16:05Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I guess if it keeps peace in the home.

• 16:09Mae Martin?

  I think it does. That was instigated because I think there, I think there was a moment where someone ripped the board in half.

• 16:15Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, no.

• 16:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:18Mae Martin?

  Semi ironically, but.

• 16:20Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 16:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:21Fortune Feimster?

  How funny. There are some families that just love games. That's their love language. They're like, let's sit down and play a board game.

• 16:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Fortune Feimster?

  Let's hear Caroline's answer.

• 16:31Mae Martin?

  Let's.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  My answer would be, maybe there's a name for this game. All I know is that my grandma taught us and used to play with us. It's similar to Solitaire. Everybody playing has their own deck of cards, but you can play on each other's aces in the middle of the table. So it becomes kind of like a race to get through and see if you can finish your Solitaire game and get your cards up when the opportunity arises on the aces. I hope that makes sense. I love your show. Thanks so much.

• 17:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we called that spit in Toronto.

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  Spit.

• 17:08Mae Martin?

  We called it spit and it was, it was really intense. We played it at school a lot. It gets super fast and you're, yeah, I like a fast game.

• 17:16Fortune Feimster?

  I've, I've played this game with some friends with dice and someone has to keep score, but you need someone that knows the rules because there are different things. It's called Farkel.

• 17:27Mae Martin?

  Farkel.

• 17:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:28Mae Martin?

  Love it. I probably shouldn't learn more games because I, I really have to learn to socialize without them. Like at my house, I'm really.

• 17:36Fortune Feimster?

  Anything.

• 17:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're right. Actually, fuck it. Yeah. Yeah.

• 17:41Fortune Feimster?

  Let's hear another question. Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  Hi, Handsoms. This is Annie and Anna. We are a married couple in New York City and we have been huge fans of the podcast since the beginning. Our question is, have you ever secretly had a favorite when you knew you kind of shouldn't? Like a favorite child or pet or sibling or friend or colleague? Thanks so much.

• 18:03Fortune Feimster?

  Anna and Anna are a married couple.

• 18:07Mae Martin?

  That's amazing.

• 18:08Fortune Feimster?

  They're married, right?

• 18:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah. It sounded like one of them was eating at the same time as talking.

• 18:15Mae Martin?

  Or maybe they were

• 18:15Fortune Feimster?

  Anna or Anna?

• 18:18Fortune Feimster?

  And what if they both went into this as Anna and then one of them was like, you're gonna need to

• 18:23Mae Martin?

  You're gonna need

• 18:24Fortune Feimster?

  You're gonna need to tweak this. You're gonna be Anna.

• 18:28Mae Martin?

  That would be such a top move to be like, you change your name.

• 18:34Fortune Feimster?

  A favorite anything. I always would make my grandmother tell me I, who her favorite grandchild was.

• 18:41Mae Martin?

  And it was you?

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  It was me, mate. And I got it on video.

• 18:46Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 18:46Fortune Feimster?

  I was about sixteen years old and my grandmother, it was at my brother's graduation party and I had this video camera.

• 18:55Mae Martin?

  How your brother's graduating?

• 18:56Fortune Feimster?

  I wanted to stick it to him when it was a graduation. I had a, I had one of those old school video cameras. And you know how my accent was back then? Nana, hi, hi, Nana. I need to ask you a question. Like it was real country.

• 19:10Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 19:11Fortune Feimster?

  I have it somewhere. I think I put it on a DVD and I said, hi, Nana. Hey, hey, who's your favorite grandchild? And she like looked around side to side. And then pointed at me and I was like, yeah.

• 19:26Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 19:27Fortune Feimster?

  And it was my proudest achievement in all of life. And then when I did the Tyler Henry medium thing.

• 19:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:34Fortune Feimster?

  My grandmother came through and guess what? He said, she said. That I was her favorite.

• 19:41Mae Martin?

  And wait, didn't he also, because I watched it. Didn't he also like point at you? He was like. Or no, maybe it was a different.

• 19:49Fortune Feimster?

  Now I don't remember. I gotta actually go back and watch it. I never went back. I think you need to watch it a second time to pick up on other stuff. But he said she was like, you're my favorite.

• 19:58Mae Martin?

  That's crazy.

• 19:59Fortune Feimster?

  And I called my, one of my brothers and I said, ha, ha, you see that? And I rubbed it in his face again.

• 20:06Mae Martin?

  Okay. I feel like we're getting an answer to the question, were you competitive with your brother? Literally, his deceased grandparent, you're calling him up to rub salt in the wound.

• 20:16Fortune Feimster?

  And she's been dead for twenty seven years. And I'm still like, in your face.

• 20:24Mae Martin?

  That's so funny.

• 20:25Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but I don't know. Do I, do you have a favorite anything that you're not supposed to say is your favorite?

• 20:31Mae Martin?

  I don't think so.

• 20:33Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we don't have kids.

• 20:35Mae Martin?

  No, but even when I'm around kids, I, I. It's even though even the annoying ones, I just, I think they're magic. So I'm, I mean, I guess I would have favorites of my friends' kids and stuff. I had two cats growing up and I guess I did have a favorite because only one of them would let me pick her up. Yeah, but that's just because very early, my parents said that one's yours and that one's your brother's. So then I bonded with the one they said was mine.

• 21:03Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, for sure. You feeling like kids are magic. Do you think you want to have kids one day or you don't know?

• 21:09Mae Martin?

  I want kids in my life. I want to, I think I want to be a parent. I don't really care how it happens. It could be someone else's kid who I meet. It could be adopted. It could be foster kids. It could be any kids.

• 21:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 21:24Mae Martin?

  But I want to like be a safe place for a kid, you know?

• 21:27Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, well, you'd be very good at it. You're, you have that fun imagination and like you like hanging, hanging with kids and being creative and doing that kind of fun stuff.

• 21:40Mae Martin?

  Thanks, man. Yeah.

• 21:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 21:42Mae Martin?

  You've got nieces and nephews and stuff, right?

• 21:45Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but we're 3,000 miles away. I got, I got nephews that were 3,000 miles away since they were basically born. So I see them, you know, when I can, but it definitely is like, hey, what's up?

• 21:58Mae Martin?

  Hey, kid, how you doing? What up, kid?

• 22:01Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, what's your deal? I'll be like, you want to like, you know, like, let's go see a movie.

• 22:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:08Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but yeah, they, when they were really little, I was far away. So, um,

• 22:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's tough.

• 22:13Fortune Feimster?

  But, uh, I mean, you know, listen, my dog Biggie's always my favorite of everything.

• 22:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that counts. If you, but if you think if you got a puppy at the same time as Biggie?

• 22:25Fortune Feimster?

  I think Biggie would still win.

• 22:26Mae Martin?

  I think you're right. I think he's

• 22:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, just there, you know, that like soul dog, those soul dogs they talk about.

• 22:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you were meant to know him.

• 22:36Fortune Feimster?

  I know. I haven't seen him in a while, which is hard, but we'll figure it out.

• 22:41Mae Martin?

  Super hard.

• 22:41Fortune Feimster?

  But, um, yeah, he's just a special boy. So it would be hard for anyone to compete with him.

• 22:48Mae Martin?

  I think I love him more than the cat I had as a child.

• 22:53Fortune Feimster?

  I know, I hope, I think he'll be back soon and he'll pop, you know, get here on my desk and sleep during one of our tapings.

• 23:03Mae Martin?

  Yes, please.

• 23:04Fortune Feimster?

  Hasn't that, it's been sad not having his little sweet face go, where am I?

• 23:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I missed the pan over to him just unconscious.

• 23:14Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, those were the days. Now he's a product of divorce.

• 23:22Mae Martin?

  Well, should we hear Annie and Anna's answer?

• 23:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 23:25Speaker 05

  Our answer is that we obviously love all three of you so much, but not equally.

• 23:32Mae Martin?

  Oh, wow.

• 23:32Speaker 05

  We are enormous fans of Tig and May, but our favorite is Fortune. We love you, Fortune, and also Tig and May.

• 23:42Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 23:44Mae Martin?

  Okay, I know how it felt to be your brother.

• 23:46Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't see that coming.

• 23:48Mae Martin?

  Holy.

• 23:51Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I know for a fact, based on our live shows and all the posters that show up in the audience, you are many people's favorites, so.

• 23:59Mae Martin?

  So are you, though. That is, you know what, I mean, that is very funny. And I, of course, people have favorites, but the craziest thing is when people come up to you in person and tell you that one of the other two is their favorite. Like, that has happened to me so many times, being like, yeah, I didn't know who you were, but, you know.

• 24:21Fortune Feimster?

  That's hilarious.

• 24:21Mae Martin?

  But Tig's always been my favorite, like, yeah.

• 24:24Fortune Feimster?

  I get asked a lot if you're, uh, single.

• 24:27Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 24:28Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm. And they talk about having a crush on you.

• 24:32Mae Martin?

  Okay. You gotta tell them to, if they ever meet me, to pretend they don't know who I am and to be really aloof.

• 24:38Fortune Feimster?

  And that'll do it?

• 24:40Mae Martin?

  That'll do it, yeah, yeah.

• 24:41Fortune Feimster?

  I don't want aloof. I don't.

• 24:42Mae Martin?

  No, I don't want to aloof either. I'm joking.

• 24:44Fortune Feimster?

  Aloof is not for me. I don't, as soon as someone's just like trying to act too cool or like play games, I'm like, no, thanks. Not that I'm, you know, in that space, but like, I'm just, uh, yeah, I just like, just be a real person.

• 25:01Mae Martin?

  I like kind of messy, intense people, like, yeah.

• 25:04Fortune Feimster?

  I like kind, sweet.

• 25:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, sorry. I mean, me too.

• 25:10Fortune Feimster?

  I don't want to have to beg for someone's affection or love.

• 25:14Mae Martin?

  No way, man. No chasing.

• 25:17Fortune Feimster?

  No chasing.

• 25:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 25:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, what a fun little episode.

• 25:23Mae Martin?

  Always a pleasure. Please keep submitting your questions. Go to speakpipe.com/handsomepod. Yeah, we love hearing from you.

• 25:31Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm. We sure do. I keep saying for people to ask us advice, we still don't get that.

• 25:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah, please ask us.

• 25:38Fortune Feimster?

  You guys, we're so good at giving advice and no one, I was like, we're good. We just want to ask you a question.

• 25:46Mae Martin?

  I mean, would you say our personal lives are to be.

• 25:49Fortune Feimster?

  In shambles.

• 25:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, to be replicated.

• 25:52Fortune Feimster?

  They're like, we don't need advice from you guys. Yeah, we're kind of going through it right now.

• 25:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they're like.

• 25:58Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we have had a lot of episodes this summer of all of us crying.

• 26:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we really have.

• 26:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 26:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:05Fortune Feimster?

  That is, you know, it's so funny because we, for the longest time, we're like so ridiculous and silly. And lately, we've just been like crying with each other.

• 26:15Mae Martin?

  I know, I know.

• 26:17Fortune Feimster?

  There's nothing wrong, nothing wrong with that, but it's just, um, you know, I guess we just cover all the, all the emotions on this pod.

• 26:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah, well, keep sending the dumb questions then as well.

• 26:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 26:30Mae Martin?

  Not, not just heavy life advice.

• 26:33Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 26:34Mae Martin?

  Um, I got nothing really coming up. I'm, I'm, uh, I'm taking it easy, but, um, my, I'm gearing up for the release of Wayward. It's coming out in September and, um, yeah, check out my music and stand up and stuff. What about you?

• 26:49Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, just, um, in Spokane, uh, that great outdoors comedy festival. And then September gets real busy. A lot of like Houston and San Antonio. And I got some fun, big theaters coming in like Chicago, Boston, uh, DC. So get your tickets.

• 27:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Well, in the meantime.

• 27:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, just keep it pretty handsome.

• 27:14Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.