Pod Insights Hamish & Andy 2025 Ep 313 - The First Ever Segment Sleuth Apology About this episode For the first time ever, Segment Sleuth has resulted in an apology! Bec has Andy questioning his level of manners while making a restaurant booking, and, on an unrelated note, she’s also got him wondering how everyone else washes their hands. Hamish confesses the struggles he's having abstaining from his online shopping habit. Plus, we squeeze in a round of Tell Us Someone and bring back an updated version of Friends Galore!
1. Segment Sleuth apology
2. Is Andy rude?
3. Tell us someone we haven’t thought of in a while
4. Friends galore
5. Gripzilla
6. The wash
Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 A Listener Production.
0:07 Speaker 01 Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two.
0:17 Speaker 01 Sorry, it's still buffering. One.
0:23 Speaker 02 Ahoy to my zenith, Hamish.
0:27 Speaker 03 Thank you.
0:28 Speaker 02 I mean, whether you call me the zenith, the apex, the climax, the purpose of your whole life, I love these little nicknames that you come up with.
0:37 Speaker 03 Cute. Um, ahoy to the observer.
0:40 Speaker 02 Ahoy.
0:42 Speaker 03 This sounds like something in a board game I would play.
0:45 Speaker 02 Hmm.
0:45 Speaker 03 Characters in a board game.
0:46 Speaker 02 It also does sound a bit like the show. You just sit over there watching us.
0:50 Speaker 03 Sit over there watching the high point. Um, is this things you need to observe? I mean, I don't know.
0:58 Speaker 02 This, this, this might give it away, but I am the horizon.
1:03 Speaker 03 Oh, we had telescope, like a Hubble telescope or something.
1:06 Speaker 02 We have the three main points of the horizon coordinate system. There is the horizon.
1:13 Speaker 03 The high point.
1:14 Speaker 02 And then the.
1:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay.
1:16 Speaker 02 And the observer is, uh.
1:17 Speaker 03 The person looking at it.
1:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:20 Speaker 03 And why, okay, is that a well-known coordinate system, the horizon coordinate system?
1:25 Speaker 02 It's well enough to be put in front of me with a lot of details about it that I'm skimming through thinking it's probably a bit boring, but, um.
1:31 Speaker 03 It was well enough, it was, hey, if it was good enough for ChatGPT to spit out when, when Lizzie said, hey, can you give me 20 groups of three things? Then it's good enough for us.
1:41 Speaker 02 Take the rest of the week off. Um, ahoy also to Ella. She went to hamishandandy.com, which you can go anytime and tell us what you've been up to by easily uploading a little bit of audio.
1:51 Speaker 04 Ahoy, boys. I'm in Peru at the moment and have been catching up on the podcast.
1:56 Speaker 03 Lovely.
1:56 Speaker 04 Last week I did a big trek to Machu Picchu and I got hit with altitude sickness and you guys really pulled me through. There's nothing better than listening to an hour of Croc Wars wrap up at 4,600 metres elevation.
2:07 Speaker 03 Classic.
2:07 Speaker 04 So thanks for that. And I've been practising my Spanish, so apologies for the pronunciation, but mucho gusto. Adios.
2:14 Speaker 02 Nice.
2:15 Speaker 03 Bonada.
2:16 Speaker 02 I think she must have been going back to the start, which is our preferred recommendation of intake of the pod.
2:23 Speaker 03 I was thinking, would we ever run a system where if you, I know this sounds a bit pyramid scheming, and it might be, but where if you can get a new listener to the podcast and you can get them to go through the whole back catalogue and catch up, you get yourself a coin.
2:38 Speaker 02 Hard to place.
2:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, it is hard to place, but there would be.
2:43 Speaker 02 There's a comprehension test.
2:44 Speaker 03 There'd be a comprehension test and we would also pressure test both parties to prove that they had done this.
2:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's a great system. If you get a friend on board.
2:56 Speaker 03 Yep. And they make them and they go back through all the eps.
2:59 Speaker 02 Yep. And then they've got a comprehension test of 10 questions.
3:03 Speaker 03 Yep.
3:03 Speaker 02 How many do they have to get though? Because we can't even remember what we did.
3:05 Speaker 03 No, I'm just trying to think what is going to stop two people that have already listened to all the eps, one to play possum and to pretend to play doggo and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd never heard of you guys before. And then they just cheat to get a coin.
3:18 Speaker 02 Submit all IP addresses and we see if you've ever downloaded the show.
3:21 Speaker 03 Yep.
3:22 Speaker 02 That gets tricky. Yeah.
3:25 Speaker 03 Maybe we come, and also a coin is a lot. Do we go?
3:28 Speaker 02 We don't have a way to give away coins with special skills on the bench.
3:32 Speaker 03 What about with this? Why don't we go over the government mandated break? We'll give away a coin to the person that can recruit the most new listeners.
3:39 Speaker 02 Okay.
3:40 Speaker 03 You come to us with evidence that you've been doing the work of the pod missionaries. Going out and recruiting new converts. And if you're the key, I know this is not what the church does, but if you're the head missionary, you get a prize. Gech doesn't do that. I think they're pretty much just like anyone's great. We're not gonna, we're not gonna pit you against each other, but that's the, you know, we do that.
4:02 Speaker 02 Okay. I think, I think we still need a comprehension start because yeah.
4:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, but then I think.
4:07 Speaker 02 Now it sounds like we need like 50 comprehension tests.
4:09 Speaker 03 No, but then I think we've got people going, oh, look, I've got 100 new followers for you guys. That'll, we're really just, you know, we're going to the big fish to go, okay, great.
4:17 Speaker 02 But how do we know?
4:18 Speaker 05 But how do we know? What stops me sending that email tomorrow?
4:21 Speaker 03 Hey, I hadn't planned this out, all right?
4:24 Speaker 03 I, we, we get a haul and we get all the new followers to come and we pressure test them.
4:30 Speaker 02 We'll have a think about it. I like it, but we'll jump into this for the meantime. This sounds like this, sounds like this, sounds like this. If this sounds like that, I'm your man. Andy Lee, Segment Sleuth. Sometimes it's Song of Sleuth, sometimes it's Segment Sleuth. Something happened in Segment Sleuth that has never, ever happened before. Where a few weeks ago, I pointed out that there was an article written by Nine Honey, which is a lifestyle article, talking about crumpets and how they're fluffier in Queensland and not so fluffy and more dense in the more southern states.
5:11 Speaker 02 This is obviously, if we went through it, a direct replica of the findings Hamish made when he was blowing something wide open.
5:17 Speaker 03 Brought to me by a loyal detective of the show.
5:20 Speaker 02 Hey, the first time ever, Segment Sleuth has yielded and forced a public apology from Nine Honey.
5:29 Speaker 03 They've apologised.
5:30 Speaker 02 They have apologised in an open letter that they put and they put out as an article, as an apology. I've taken some of the excerpts from it, but this is what they had to say in relation to us calling them out on the pod.
5:44 Speaker 06 Dear Hamish and Andy, I'd like to start off by recognising that you boys did do the crumpet taste test first. Yes, you may have been the first to take the debate to a public platform, but it's a battle that's lived in the mind of Queenslanders for years. Sure, maybe a bit of inspiration was taken listening to podcasts. During the hours long drive from Sydney to the Sunshine Coast. However, I do have one apology to make and it's directly to you, Hamish. Nine Honey recognises that Hamish Blake is the guy that does first impressions of crumpets and recognises the fluffiness without tasting.
6:24 Speaker 06 We made a mere comparison that in no way matched up to the expertise of Mr Blake's professional observation.
6:33 Speaker 03 I think in today's increasingly fractured society, we stand no chance of advancing as a unified society if we can't celebrate those that put their hand up and say, I was wrong and I want to learn and do better. So I say to Nine Honey, I unreservedly accept your apology.
6:53 Speaker 02 That's lovely. It is so lovely.
6:57 Speaker 02 Now, obviously, segments late, not long ago, I, um, I brought up Amy Poehler was talking about the Volkswagen Tiguan in an ad and did use the phrase must be nice. It did put her on a watch list for us of like, hey, we're not, we're not saying that they've taken anything from our show.
7:16 Speaker 03 But we certainly, we don't have a monopoly on those three words being together. And we don't, as much as we like to think, uh, have a monopoly on all Tiguan promotional materials.
7:27 Speaker 02 Hmm. I got sent this so many times though. This is Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig. Well, you guys can be the judge. Have a listen.
7:36 Speaker 07 Do you have that thing sometimes where you feel bad for inanimate objects? Yes, so do I. Hilarious. But I think that's like a thing.
7:43 Speaker 02 Do you have that thing where you feel bad for inanimate objects? Now, obviously, we're in, we're in our world. To their credit though, Kristen, we got a bloody good one. Have a listen.
7:52 Speaker 07 I remember so specifically, I was in the bathroom and you know how you have like, um, it's like a pill thing and maybe it's like, I don't know if it was like allergy pills and you pop them through. And there's like two, right? And I needed two, but there was one left over. And so I grabbed that one and then one from the other one. And my dad was like, why didn't you just get two from this one? I was like, well, that one's been by itself for so long. And I feel like he thought that was cute, but I wonder if he was like, oh no.
8:24 Speaker 03 Look, I'm gonna give him a pass. Yes, A hilarious and also B, Kristen brought it to the show. That wasn't Amy leading it. So I feel as if the guest brings it, what can you do?
8:33 Speaker 02 What can you do?
8:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, we're gonna go along with it. So
8:36 Speaker 02 Yep.
8:36 Speaker 03 Another pass, another pass for me for Paula.
8:45 Speaker 02 Got in trouble with Beck the other day booking a restaurant. An area that you think you couldn't get in trouble with, but she was in the car, I called the restaurant and she didn't think that I was, I didn't say thank you at the end. I thought my To the restaurant? To the restaurant of the call. But I thought my tone insinuated thank you. So we get off the call and she's like, he was so rude. You didn't say thank you. And I said, oh, I think my tone made it definitely imply to thank you.
9:18 Speaker 03 What did you end with?
9:19 Speaker 02 What did you say? Well, so I spent this morning trying to recreate the call and I've been calling Beck back and forth to play it to her to make sure that she's happy with my representation of the call. And then you guys will get to hear it and you can decide how it went.
9:34 Speaker 03 Okay.
9:34 Speaker 02 Okay. So this is me actually calling Beck to get sign off on the Accuracy. The accuracy of the call. And this happened early on.
9:45 Speaker 02 Hello? Hey, Becca. How are you? Hi, good. Sorry to bother you. Remember when we were booking dinner at Bistro Elba? And you said I was rude to the lady on the phone?
10:00 Speaker 02 No.
10:02 Speaker 02 Well, we were driving along and I said, I've made the booking and you said I didn't say thank you at the end. And I thought that the tone implied thank you.
10:12 Speaker 02 I mean, probably, but. I just, I've just recreated the conversation. So I just wanted to check whether you're happy with this representation of what happened and then I can present to the guys. Okay. Well, I don't remember it, but sure, go for it. Okay.
10:30 Speaker 00 Hello, Bistro Elba.
10:31 Speaker 02 Hey there, guys. It's Andy here. Beck and I were just wondering whether there's a chance we could come in for dinner tonight, eight o'clock.
10:39 Speaker 00 Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. Yeah, we've got space for you. Just come on in.
10:44 Speaker 02 Amazing. See you then.
10:50 Speaker 02 That was very chirpy. I think that was the amount of chirp I had. I don't think so. I think that sounds like, yeah, that's too chirpy. Okay. You weren't that, you wouldn't have been that chirpy. If I down the chirp. Very chirpy. Okay, if I pull back the chirp a little bit, have you got the sign off that I can resist that?
11:10 Speaker 02 I mean, yeah, sure, go for it. Okay, thanks, appreciate it. Sorry, I know you're busy. Bye. Bye.
11:18 Speaker 02 So I did down the chirp a bit. I sent it back.
11:21 Speaker 03 I mean, it always happens whenever you like reply, whenever you reenact something in front of your partner, you're always 50 to 80% better sounding than you were.
11:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, so I've, I really did it again. I've downed the chirp a bit, sent it back to Beck. She's like, yes, that's, that's, that's right. That's how it was. I think I'm unders now, just so you know. But just want you guys to now hear the call and tell me whether you think it's rude.
11:50 Speaker 00 Hello, Bistro Alba.
11:51 Speaker 02 Hey there, guys. Andy here. Just wondering whether Beck and I could come in for dinner tonight, maybe eight o'clock.
11:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. Yeah, we've got space for you. Just come on in.
12:04 Speaker 02 Great. We'll see you then.
12:08 Speaker 03 How was that? Did, did?
12:10 Speaker 02 I think I'm on.
12:10 Speaker 03 I mean, I could see you do that. Um, I could see you doing that if you're busy.
12:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, less chirpy. I actually felt like it wasn't implied. Thank you. First one, I would have said implied. Thank you. But surely great to see you then. You don't need to go, oh, thank you so much. No, no one's saying that, Andy.
12:29 Speaker 03 Say thanks because let's remember a booking is always a favor from the restaurant. It's not like you're paying. It's a favor to go, yeah, we'll hold a table for you.
12:40 Speaker 02 And then
12:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, because you could no show and then ruin their night.
12:44 Speaker 03 If they held a table till eight o'clock and you just decided not to turn up, they can't do anything about that. So it is a favor. They're going, I trust you'll be there. And you go, thanks for your trust. If you had to spell it out.
12:54 Speaker 02 Okay, so you feel like I was rude.
12:56 Speaker 03 Well, it doesn't, it wouldn't kill you to say thanks.
12:59 Speaker 02 Hmm.
12:59 Speaker 05 Are you on a first name basis with them? Because you say Andy.
13:02 Speaker 03 Yeah, me and Beck.
13:03 Speaker 05 Andy, me and Beck.
13:04 Speaker 02 We go there all the time.
13:05 Speaker 05 Okay. So even worse, because they're friends, they're friends of yours.
13:09 Speaker 02 Oh, gosh, I really don't think we should have to go, thank you so much.
13:16 Speaker 03 No one's asking for a gosh, which is asking, you're just saying thanks.
13:20 Speaker 02 Amazing, see you then.
13:22 Speaker 05 Yeah, you didn't sound like you're amazed.
13:24 Speaker 02 Well, I feel like I got pulled back.
13:26 Speaker 03 Do you think amazing saves you?
13:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:30 Speaker 03 Saying it's amazing is the same as a thank you.
13:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:34 Speaker 05 Like, I'm, I think a dulled amazing actually sounds more offensive. Like, amazing, amazing, see you there. It sounded like, oh.
13:41 Speaker 02 The problem has been here is I've been pulled back on chirp. I've been like, Beck drilled me down too far on chirp. I was much chirpier than that. I reckon she's right.
13:55 Speaker 02 Aim towards the back end of the year, this game becomes extremely difficult. Where a lot of people still write in wanting to roll the dice, but they have to try and tell us someone we haven't thought of in a while. We're about to jump into the game. There's a little space in the opener for one of us to yell at it as a person we haven't thought of in a while. Jack's elected to be the yeller today.
14:18 Speaker 03 Now, remember, Jack, the rules are it has to be since the start of the year.
14:20 Speaker 02 Yes, I think I've got a great one. Okay. Do what?
14:27 Speaker 02 About jumping Jai Torima. Oh, good. Yeah.
14:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:38 Speaker 03 The part of my brain, the part of my brain that at pub trivia will, when the true answer is revealed, wants to go, yes, I was thinking that, but you weren't thinking that, you just know that in retrospect.
14:52 Speaker 02 Yes.
14:52 Speaker 03 You know what I mean?
14:53 Speaker 02 Yes.
14:53 Speaker 03 You know how your brain goes, I think, was I about to say that? And then you have to be honest with yourself and go, no, no, you just understood the answer. And you're confusing that with almost having had it.
15:02 Speaker 02 Jack, how old are you now?
15:04 Speaker 05 I'm thirty seven.
15:05 Speaker 03 Thirty seven, yeah. There's, there's now, you're not, we can't even turn to you for young things anymore. There's, there'd be, there's, anyone under thirty.
15:14 Speaker 05 Baby boomer.
15:16 Speaker 03 Anyone under thirty would know who jumping giant, jumping giant, Rima would is.
15:21 Speaker 02 What Olympics?
15:22 Speaker 05 He was, he was two thousand.
15:23 Speaker 02 Was it Sydney Olympic?
15:24 Speaker 05 Yeah.
15:25 Speaker 02 Okay.
15:25 Speaker 05 And what made him exciting for me as a thirteen year old, twelve year old was that he, um, he won a silver medal for a long jump, but also ate McDonald's and smoked cigarettes and skateboarded. It was like, oh, look at this anti athlete.
15:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:40 Speaker 05 So cool.
15:41 Speaker 02 He still gets off the ground.
15:44 Speaker 02 Um, Hame, tell us, people send in hats, tell us what hats are up there. Excituation.
15:48 Speaker 03 We have got, uh, hat number one. It is a light burgundy. I like this hat. It's a bit, it's a dad cap. It's got the kind of the fabric buckle fastener at the back. Can be a bit fiddly to tighten on your head, but you'll give it a pass. It's a, just a nice cotton dad hat, embroidered logo.
16:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:06 Speaker 03 It's by a company called Ranger, the outdoor people.
16:09 Speaker 02 Hmm.
16:11 Speaker 03 I don't know who they are, and I think in the category of outdoor people, more people come to mind first, but Ranger, if you say you're the outdoor people, that there's only one way to get it out there, and that's to put it on a hat and have people know that there's a new outdoor people in town, or rather, out of town, in the wild.
16:26 Speaker 02 That would be my preferred as I look at them.
16:28 Speaker 03 That's just a nice kind of worn wine colored hat. Well, I, do you know who made this hat that I'm holding?
16:34 Speaker 02 What's this?
16:34 Speaker 03 Now, this is a stiffer, um, it's, I think, yeah, suspected as much. It's a normal snapback, but it's the AS color snapback.
16:41 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
16:42 Speaker 03 We've come across these before. It's a sturdy, decent hat, more of a cotton, I'll get to it, more of a cotton, um, what do they call that, like a drill cotton, like a thicker cotton? And who is the logo for?
16:56 Speaker 02 Kingston Crumb?
16:56 Speaker 03 Kingston Crumb, the biscuit themed band that played at CONCON last year.
17:00 Speaker 02 Sorry, that is my preferred hat.
17:02 Speaker 03 Who wouldn't want a Kingston Crumb hat? I hope no one goes through this, so I can have a Kingston Crumb hat. The boys did excellently last year at CONCON. They played, if you remember the schedule, they played during the biscuit hour before the first session of CONCON. And I think they played the interval too.
17:16 Speaker 02 In the interval as well.
17:17 Speaker 03 And they changed all their songs to be biscuit themed songs. So love that little nod to our favourite conference band. Then we come to, what can I have to say is a perplexing hat.
17:27 Speaker 02 This is a mess.
17:27 Speaker 03 This is a mess. It's, it's, it's not even a five panel cap, but it's kind of like that. It's kind of made of a shiny nylon.
17:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:37 Speaker 03 The, the brand, it's like a running, like a parachute, like a lightweight running hat. But then on the front, it's been like an iron transfer print. So it's a bit stiff on that material.
17:46 Speaker 02 It's gonna peel off.
17:48 Speaker 03 The company, I'm sure they do a great job of what they're known for.
17:51 Speaker 02 What's that?
17:52 Speaker 03 Answorth and Sons Professional Hedge Cutters.
17:55 Speaker 02 Okay.
17:56 Speaker 03 But then there's also the brand of the hat on the front of the hat, Evo hats, on the front of the hat with the hedge cutting.
18:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:03 Speaker 03 Cut some of the wordage off the hat would be my advice. You guys know about cutting hedges, but you've made and you've butchered the front of the hat.
18:11 Speaker 02 Shocker.
18:12 Speaker 03 It probably is, like I said, if I was gonna get a hedge cut, I'd go to these guys. If I was gonna get a hat, I wouldn't.
18:17 Speaker 02 Avoid them at all costs.
18:18 Speaker 03 Yep.
18:21 Speaker 02 First up, we've got Blake, I believe. Blake, ahoi to you. Ahoi fellas and the little boy, and congratulations, I am on the gigantic peak.
18:31 Speaker 03 We are trying to keep it behind us as much as we can.
18:34 Speaker 02 Blake, tell us something we haven't thought of for a while. I'm thinking Paulie Shaw. Nah, sorry mate. You thought of it. Yeah, yeah, I was explaining Encino Man to my nephews the other day.
18:45 Speaker 03 They'd be riding the hidden zone for that.
18:47 Speaker 02 And Beck didn't know what I was talking about, so I got the trailer up. Hasn't aged as, as well, the Encino Man. Really? Yeah, yeah.
18:58 Speaker 03 Because from what I remember, it was just charming documentary about a hunk that was frozen in a pool and Paulie Shaw excavated him and brought him back to life.
19:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, and then from what I could tell from the trailer, um, the Neanderthal Man was a bit handsy, like Neander.
19:13 Speaker 03 Well, they were, they were. I mean, it's an uncomfortable truth. I'm not saying we hold him up as an idol, but they were.
19:20 Speaker 02 So sorry Blake, unfortunate for you. Rachel, ahoi to you.
19:24 Speaker 06 Guys, how are you?
19:25 Speaker 05 Hello, Rich.
19:26 Speaker 06 Hi, my person's Aristotle.
19:29 Speaker 03 Aristotle? Great, great.
19:33 Speaker 03 Great one, one of the classics, one of the OG celebrities.
19:36 Speaker 05 Yeah, exactly.
19:37 Speaker 02 I haven't.
19:38 Speaker 03 Have we thought of Aristotle specifically? I mean, he was a great thinker.
19:42 Speaker 02 Was there, was there something specific he's famous?
19:44 Speaker 03 I want to say buoyancy, I want to say didn't. Or was that Archimedes?
19:49 Speaker 02 That was Archimedes, yeah.
19:50 Speaker 06 We were arguing over about heavy things falling faster and how they don't.
19:56 Speaker 03 Oh, yes, it was at him.
19:57 Speaker 06 One of the things he believed.
19:59 Speaker 03 Gotcha.
20:00 Speaker 02 Alright.
20:01 Speaker 03 So he was, so he, but I mean, Newton did gravity, that was sort of, he was famous for that. But was Aristotle sort of watching Newton? The warm up, was he the opening act?
20:11 Speaker 02 Galileo was in there as well.
20:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, he was planets and shit.
20:14 Speaker 02 Was he?
20:15 Speaker 05 But it's amazing Aristotle becomes a household name just for like heavier things don't.
20:21 Speaker 03 Oh, it's pretty good.
20:22 Speaker 02 It's alright.
20:24 Speaker 03 It's a good theory.
20:26 Speaker 06 He did a lot of other stuff.
20:27 Speaker 03 No, it's true, and this is exactly what it would have been like back in whatever century it was. I'm just gonna throw it out there, about, I don't know, six hundreds? In Greece or Italy, where Aristotle grew up, and it would have been exciting chat like this, as people thought about his ideas and debated them, Jack. So you've proved why he was a household name, he got you talking.
20:46 Speaker 05 You had to pick a side with Aristotle.
20:48 Speaker 02 But he's like, he's like a pop star who was a hunk, but, but you don't remember any of their songs. Like, he's obviously got a bigger name than actually.
20:58 Speaker 03 I think if you bought up some of his stuff.
21:00 Speaker 02 Well, we can't.
21:02 Speaker 03 I think it's like, like, it's sort of like bands where you go, yeah, I think I know some Billy Joel songs. And then you go through just how many hits he has. You go, oh my God, actually, this, yeah, this guy deserves.
21:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, well.
21:14 Speaker 05 Billy Joel is more like Newton in that sense, because we know a heap of Billy Joel hits.
21:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I think there's a lot of stuff that Aristotle would have discovered that you use every day, that you're not giving credit to him. Jack, you're not better than Aristotle.
21:30 Speaker 03 I think you're in. I think it's, I think we can't say we've thought of Aristotle for a while.
21:34 Speaker 02 For a long time. Rachel, what hat would you like?
21:36 Speaker 03 Who would you like?
21:37 Speaker 02 I would love the Kingston Crumbs. Smart.
21:41 Speaker 03 Well played, well done with Aristotle.
21:43 Speaker 02 Coming your way. Uh, thank you. Um, Marlon, ahoy to you.
21:47 Speaker 03 Ahoy, boys. Happy birthday, Andy.
21:49 Speaker 02 I don't celebrate them. What, uh, tell-
21:51 Speaker 03 Mate, you love it.
21:54 Speaker 02 Tell us something we haven't thought of in a while.
21:57 Speaker 03 Uh, I'm thinking Jeff Jan, the Australian chef, TV chef. Yeah, I think Huey and Gabrielle Gattai just soak up a lot of the attention there and Jeff Jan's is able to fly under the radar and not be thought about.
22:09 Speaker 02 You know who we're talking about, Jeff?
22:10 Speaker 03 I don't know, Jeff. I know Huey, obviously.
22:11 Speaker 02 In Huey Hewittson, there was kind of the big three. Uh, yeah.
22:15 Speaker 03 We're talking about late nineties.
22:17 Speaker 02 We're cooking TV chefs, yeah.
22:19 Speaker 03 Yeah. Um, before they became reality shows, you'd just watch them cook and that was enough. He's probably the most famous Jeff, Jack, in Australia. That's true.
22:27 Speaker 02 Probes to be honest.
22:28 Speaker 03 Bezos has got to have a point. But you're right, he's top three Jeff. Even for Australian chefs though, I'd say Jeff from the Wiggles.
22:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, Jeff Thompson, great fast bowler.
22:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, look, no, he probably isn't the most famous Jeff, but I tell you what, I don't think we've thought of him this year. And it does count because we do know who you're talking about. So do you want the Ranger, the Outdoor People hat or the?
22:49 Speaker 02 The mess.
22:50 Speaker 03 The mess of the hedge cutting hat. Mate, I have to go for the Ranger hat.
22:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:54 Speaker 03 You'll enjoy it. Do you know who Ranger the Outdoor People are? Love them. Absolutely love them.
23:01 Speaker 03 I'd be so proud to have them. All the things. Have them on the hat now. Yeah, no indoor stuff.
23:06 Speaker 02 Uh, Marlon, thank you. Andy, wrap this up for us. Tell us something we haven't thought of in a while.
23:11 Speaker 03 Uh, I'm hoping you haven't thought of Dizzy Rascal in a while. Ooh, did a listen to Fix Up Look Sharp on the weekend.
23:19 Speaker 02 Oh, wow.
23:20 Speaker 03 What a- we would think it, we're talking about, because my son does drums at school. So, and I always get a bit carried away. Definitely now that we're talking about it, living out my own fantasies through him. But I play him songs because every year they have to do a drum recital at school. So I play him and literally next week he's playing In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins. Because I told him, mate, you do this song, you'll bring the house down.
23:44 Speaker 03 So I was playing him some songs that for next year have like an iconic beat. So, sorry mate.
23:50 Speaker 02 Sorry Andy, but look, to be honest, you've avoided, you've avoided the mess of a hat. It was a lose lose situation for you.
23:55 Speaker 03 Yep. And you can only, and here's me trying to make, you know, my son following my drumming footsteps. And you look at Answorth and Sons professional hedge cutters. And you just wonder if maybe Answorth's hearing this and going, did I force the sons into hedge cutting? Are they cutting the edges of their own volition or was it my dreams? So unfortunately no hat for you, but some good reflection for us all. That's all right. My wife's making me throw out my hats anyway, so that works.
24:22 Speaker 03 Sorry, we couldn't help you with one.
24:29 Speaker 02 Hame Alert listener Nov from the UK has written in saying, a long time listener, first time writer. You can hit us at hamishshoney.com. Love the pod. Can I request bringing back one of my all time favourite segments of yours?
24:44 Speaker 02 And please bring it back on a regular basis. We can't promise that, but Friends galore.
24:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, we can play one of Friends galore.
24:50 Speaker 02 Yes. Essentially, this is a game where Jack is the best quiz master. And he comes in and gives us two liked personalities or liked companies. And we have to guess who has more friends on Facebook. You on Facebook still?
25:06 Speaker 05 I've updated to Instagram as per the emails request. He said that he was just more, where Facebook was the dominating force back five or 10 years ago when we used to play.
25:15 Speaker 03 This is now, I guess it's followers galore, isn't it? Because I mean, Friends was the, was the Facebook thing, but that's all right. We can, we can adapt.
25:22 Speaker 02 Yep.
25:23 Speaker 03 But wasn't it, didn't you do stuff, Jack, from my memory? It's been a while since we've played. But it would be like, I don't know, like Tom Hanks or.
25:34 Speaker 03 Um, lamb shanks or something.
25:37 Speaker 05 And I have, I've managed to link them. I mean, it is a bit of a stretch with some of them, but they're linked.
25:43 Speaker 03 Oh, I remember the stretching.
25:46 Speaker 02 Well, great. We haven't deferred from what people love about the game. Nov, if, it's a unique about this game is Hamish, you and I play together. We will battle Nov. And if we are successful in picking who's got more friends or followers, best two out of three. We will not send them anything, but we'll send Nov a token of no value. If triumph, let's jump in.
26:25 Speaker 05 All right.
26:25 Speaker 02 Who's ready to play? Harmonica comes in, so your nerves start coming in.
26:29 Speaker 03 I was gonna say, I was gonna say it's that when you hear that, is that a harmonica, is it? Cause I was gonna say, when you hear that soothing weird saxophone.
26:35 Speaker 02 It's probably saxophone, actually, probably is.
26:38 Speaker 03 Your call, Jack.
26:39 Speaker 05 I think, I think it might just be a synth.
26:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's a synth, yeah. Yeah, anyway. Okay, we've done instruments galore, let's do followers galore.
26:48 Speaker 05 Okay, so we're going off Instagram now, so no longer friends, but who has more followers? Out of Timothy Chalamet and Callaway Golf.
26:59 Speaker 03 Oh, good. It's, I think Shal- Shamalet, I'd go Shamalet.
27:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, absolutely. I think it's, I don't even think it's close.
27:11 Speaker 02 And what are you gonna put Timothy Shama- Shama- Shamalet?
27:13 Speaker 05 Chalamet.
27:14 Speaker 02 Chalamet.
27:15 Speaker 03 Chalamet, I'd put him at seven million.
27:18 Speaker 02 I'm gonna put him at 13.5 and I think Callaway is at around about five.
27:24 Speaker 05 Yeah, you're correct. He killed him. 19.7 million to Callaway's 2.1 million.
27:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:31 Speaker 02 Nah, well, that's an easy one for us, but. Bad luck, Nov. Next one, Jack.
27:36 Speaker 05 Who has more followers, Husey or the Mad Hueys?
27:42 Speaker 03 Really good one. I think it's gonna be the Mad Hueys.
27:45 Speaker 02 Explain to us the Mad Hueys.
27:46 Speaker 05 Mad Hueys, I think they just do YouTube videos about fishing and surfing and being mad.
27:51 Speaker 03 Just being mad dogs. Just being, and a lot of merch. You see a lot of Mad Huey stuff around and I like, I like what they stand for.
27:57 Speaker 02 They're the ones that have a great time. Shewy at Mick Fadings Golf Day.
27:59 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:00 Speaker 03 I've only just got rid of the temporary tattoo that was Shewy's for Hueys.
28:05 Speaker 02 Okay, yeah.
28:06 Speaker 03 From Mick Fadings Golf Day. So you know, you know you're in for it when you go anywhere near the orbit of the Hueys. You're gonna get dragged behind a speedboat or you're gonna have to do a shewy or... But you know, that's what they, that's what they, they live for and I support it.
28:21 Speaker 02 Australia's most beloved comedian. He's been around for a long time.
28:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, but the Mad Hueys, like their, their world is like YouTube and social media.
28:30 Speaker 02 They're doing more exciting stuff than Husey.
28:32 Speaker 03 No offence to Husey, but I think he'd have to admit they're more high-octane than him. And I think that's what gets eyeballs.
28:39 Speaker 05 He's mainly just complaining about something that's happened.
28:42 Speaker 03 Or standing in front of a comedy poster, but someone's drawing dick and balls on his head.
28:45 Speaker 02 So are we going, mate?
28:47 Speaker 03 I'm going, but I've still got tickets to the Wollongong show. But in the words of Husey, and I think he'd appreciate this, no, we love him and he's a good guy.
28:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:56 Speaker 03 Which is Husey's trick after making jokes, that's all I'm just saying now.
29:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, we would love him. So you think Mad Hueys...
29:02 Speaker 03 I do love Husey and I, but I do think Mad Hueys have got him on that.
29:06 Speaker 02 I'll go with Hamer this one.
29:07 Speaker 03 You've got it.
29:09 Speaker 02 Watch the score there, Jack.
29:11 Speaker 05 407,000 for Hueys versus Husey's 287,000 followers.
29:17 Speaker 02 Alright, so tight. Oh, tighter. Okay, let's just play the last one for fun.
29:23 Speaker 05 Who has more followers? Amy Shark or the Cronulla Sharks?
29:31 Speaker 02 For those who don't know, the Cronulla Sharks are an NRL team, rugby league in Australia.
29:36 Speaker 03 Amy Shark is a women's netball team from, oh, I must say, I thought that was the Darwin Netball team.
29:42 Speaker 02 Has a seat that doesn't rotate because she's on Australian Idol, opposed to The Voice that do have rotating seats. Locks down seats.
29:51 Speaker 03 Hmm. Gotta think about all the seat content. Would or wouldn't do showing us the underneath of the idol seat to show how locked down it is.
30:00 Speaker 02 I'm going Amy.
30:01 Speaker 03 I think Amy, yeah.
30:03 Speaker 02 Only because naturally if you're a sporting team with there's heaps of other teams in there. So say if there's, I don't know, 20 teams in your league.
30:13 Speaker 03 Yep.
30:13 Speaker 02 You're always going to be one, you're going to dividing the whole, the whole following by.
30:17 Speaker 03 Pretty rare to follow a team that's not yours on Instagram.
30:20 Speaker 02 Very rare.
30:20 Speaker 05 And I just like to be across all the teams, see what's going on at the clubs.
30:24 Speaker 02 And I don't think people are as fierce about.
30:27 Speaker 03 But you wouldn't go, yeah, well, I already also like a different female superstar.
30:32 Speaker 02 I quite like CS.
30:33 Speaker 03 I like Dua Lipa, which I'm gonna follow. So I didn't get to multiply to go, okay, well, I like them both. Yeah, no, I think Amy's got it.
30:40 Speaker 05 Yeah, you got it. Well done.
30:41 Speaker 03 God, look at us going, don't we? Working a bloody social media agency.
30:46 Speaker 05 Amy's 245,000 versus the Cronulla Sharks 173,000.
30:52 Speaker 02 Still close.
30:53 Speaker 03 Both nothing to sneeze at.
30:54 Speaker 02 Uh, and also.
30:54 Speaker 03 And Huzi can know that he's easily got the Cronulla Sharks.
30:58 Speaker 02 Yep, he does. Yep.
30:59 Speaker 05 And Nov has nothing.
31:00 Speaker 03 Ah, yes, we didn't. I'm so sorry. No, but hopefully you enjoyed the game coming back.
31:12 Speaker 03 Ah, boys, we've been, we've been down this path before, but I'm just gonna give you a little update of where I'm at. Um, I'm currently
31:21 Speaker 03 trying to resist buying things again for, for a month. Um.
31:25 Speaker 02 I mean, online, I've seen you just see something and buy it like it was just tying up your two shoelaces.
31:30 Speaker 03 Well, it just knows me. I mean, the algorithm is, we've talked about it before. I am just at, at its absolute mercy. It's like those old, someone shouldn't, I mean, if I could knew how to make memes, Jack, I know you dabbled in the day.
31:43 Speaker 02 Someone actually suggested that now Jack, Jack doesn't have a job. Will he go back to memes?
31:48 Speaker 03 Doing memes. Here's one for you, Jack.
31:49 Speaker 05 There's a lot of money in memes.
31:51 Speaker 03 Yeah. Well, back in the, do you remember like in the, I don't know, nineties or whatever, like old wrestling, I feel like in those like, like mayhem tag team moments, sometimes it was like eight guys versus one dude.
32:02 Speaker 05 Royal Rumble.
32:03 Speaker 03 Yeah. And that's what it feels like for me. That's just like Instagram ads and I'm just one dude.
32:08 Speaker 05 How could you possibly?
32:09 Speaker 03 Four of them are holding me. Two of them are like kicking me. They're all picking me up to like spin me around and throw me off the ropes and stuff. So. That's mad, but I'm like, no, no. Well, if I'm aware of it, I'm going to resist it. And the thing that is trying to get me so hard at the moment is a thing called the Gripzilla, like a grip training thing, right?
32:30 Speaker 02 Why do you need grip?
32:31 Speaker 03 I don't know. Well, we just, people, so I think someone.
32:34 Speaker 02 Is it for like sailors that like that do winding or is it?
32:37 Speaker 03 Just general grip, mate. Just in life, you just need to have a strong grip. I remember reading on, seeing online.
32:42 Speaker 02 You're slipping off doors?
32:45 Speaker 03 Just generally considered if you've got a strong grip, you're a stronger, you're just better at life. You're stronger. You're ready.
32:53 Speaker 03 Just people, man. People want grip strength in life. All right?
32:57 Speaker 02 Right, okay.
32:58 Speaker 03 So that's what, the ad is absolutely ridiculous because it shows a normal man's forearm. And then it just cuts to what is clearly a different guy, this massive like veiny forearm going, I can't believe how simple this thing is. I think because I was interested for a moment and I clicked on the ad and then I went, what am I doing? Clicked out of it. They're like, we got it. Right? We know. That's coming up every couple of, that will be my barometer for this year. Do I eventually cave and buy the Gripzilla?
33:26 Speaker 02 We'll check back in.
33:28 Speaker 03 Can I?
33:28 Speaker 02 Note that, guys. We'll check that out.
33:30 Speaker 03 Here's the thing that I almost bought the other day and I tried to buy it because I was just, I wasn't even thinking. And something went wrong with like the Apple Pay or whatever I was trying to use at the end. And, and I managed to have a moment of clarity to be like, oh my God, what am I doing? Like, and I bailed during the purchase, but because I'd gone all the way through to it being in my shopping cart. And it was only because like it was doing processing payment, processing payment. It just didn't go through for some reason. They just gave me enough of a moment to go, I gotta get out of here.
33:59 Speaker 02 Like in any scene where a car or something goes into water and the person seems knocked out and they float all the way down.
34:06 Speaker 03 And just came to.
34:07 Speaker 02 Came to and you could get to the surface.
34:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, I shouldn't be here. I have to go. And I got out and it was for a lock picking device.
34:21 Speaker 03 And you know what? Do you know why I just like so effortlessly went through to the checkout? Because the ad was, it's faster than keys.
34:32 Speaker 02 It's not.
34:34 Speaker 03 And it wasn't till I was at the checkout that I stopped for a second to evaluate that sentence. They are just saying any old shit to me now. And I am on the stream on the algorithm where they're like, this guy will believe anything. And so it's like, it looks like a leatherman. And you just, you just put it in the door and squeeze it. But it's like, it's faster than keys, faster than keys. Like you.
34:56 Speaker 02 Wow.
34:56 Speaker 03 But don't worry about keys anymore. Just pick every lock you come across. And I've always had a vague interest in learning the skill of lock.
35:03 Speaker 02 Yeah. Yep.
35:04 Speaker 03 And I've done it before. Even during COVID, I bought a lock picking set. And I couldn't be bothered reading the instructions. And I kind of gave up on it. It was like a clear padlock, teaching you how to pick.
35:14 Speaker 02 Annoyingly, now I'm interested in the device.
35:16 Speaker 03 Right.
35:17 Speaker 02 To see if it is faster than keys. Well, it's not gonna be.
35:20 Speaker 03 I can, I can forward it to you because the company, so they know, because you put your email address in or whatever, and it's auto filled by the time you get to the checkout. You know how you get those emails saying, hey, your cart, you still have a cart here? So it knows it had me.
35:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:35 Speaker 03 And they cannot believe I've left. Me, of all the, the easiest guy on the internet to get. It's driving them wild. I'm getting two or three emails a day from them going, your cart's here.
35:48 Speaker 02 Yep.
35:49 Speaker 03 We're gonna give you this offer. Did you know about these other things that we've got? We have a box, a motorized box cutter you're gonna love. And he's just hitting me with all this stuff. And I'm, I'm, I will hold out. I'll hold out on the lock picking set. But it's almost like they're driven by shame. I think because all the companies know I'm the easiest guy to beat.
36:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
36:08 Speaker 03 Unlike in Mario Brothers, the very first little brown monster that comes along and you jump on his head and bounce on it. What are they called, Jack?
36:14 Speaker 02 The, the Goombas?
36:15 Speaker 03 Goombas, yeah. It's like if, like, all the other, all the other brands have got me so many times.
36:21 Speaker 02 Yes.
36:22 Speaker 03 And it's like, and they're just like, you can't even beat, you can't get this guy past level one. Like, mate, we've, we've sold him so many things. We've sold him the world's best torch nine times. We've sold him the world's best shorts. Like, how can you not even get in with, he got to the checkout and he didn't buy it. Like, they are humiliated.
36:39 Speaker 02 And you think you'll hold out?
36:41 Speaker 03 I want to hold out.
36:44 Speaker 05 Three, three times a day, you have to have that strength of will.
36:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know.
36:48 Speaker 05 Good luck.
36:49 Speaker 03 I know. And I just, I was like, that's why I came to this place. Cause I'm like, I think I have to publicly say.
36:53 Speaker 05 Yeah.
36:54 Speaker 03 I will hold out because I know it's not easier than keys. I know it shouldn't be illegal. Cause that was the other thing they say. They always get me with, this should be illegal. And I go, oh, I'm listening. If this should be illegal, I better get it before the government catches up on this.
37:09 Speaker 02 This is a safe spot for you to, and, and look, if there's anyone else out there that is a similar situation to Hain that's holding out, if they want to come and confess.
37:17 Speaker 05 Have accountability is a good idea.
37:19 Speaker 02 Come, come to hainstanny.com.
37:20 Speaker 03 Or if you've bought that lockpicking set, just please let us know. It's not easier than keys. We know it's not easier than keys, but I just want to hear it from someone before I find out for myself.
37:36 Speaker 02 How are you guys washing your hands?
37:38 Speaker 03 I'm pretty good at it.
37:39 Speaker 02 You're pretty good at it?
37:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:40 Speaker 05 Well, I mean, I guess it's a hangover from COVID. I was gonna say the same thing. I got better at COVID during COVID.
37:46 Speaker 03 I got really good and now I wash it a lot. I mean, before COVID, I would, I thought hand sanitizer all the way. And then I think we all just got so sick of sanitizer. You're like, you know what? Soap has been the gold standard since bloody the civil war. They had problems, obviously. They were doing everything right back then, but soap, soap's always been good. And I, and, and I think it's, I think it's still good enough today.
38:11 Speaker 02 Hmm. So I discovered over the weekend that Beck and I wash our hands very differently.
38:17 Speaker 03 Is it amount of soap used? Do you do the toothpaste distribution?
38:21 Speaker 02 I, she keeps her hands underneath the water for the whole time.
38:27 Speaker 03 No, you've got to teach the kids as well. Don't do that.
38:30 Speaker 02 No, you don't do that.
38:31 Speaker 03 Wash the soap off.
38:31 Speaker 05 You get a bit of water.
38:32 Speaker 03 You get your hands wet.
38:33 Speaker 05 Thank you.
38:34 Speaker 02 Great. I'm feeling great about this.
38:35 Speaker 03 You get your hands wet. You pull away, you put a 20 cent piece amount or less probably for you tic tac size, whatever. And then. Get a good lather.
38:43 Speaker 02 Yes.
38:44 Speaker 03 Lather, the lather's the secret because all soap is, if you wanna get really sciencey about it.
38:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:51 Speaker 03 Water is wet.
38:52 Speaker 02 Hmm.
38:52 Speaker 03 Soap makes water wetter. So soap reduces the surface tension of the water. So it means it can get into the cracks better. That's what soap does.
39:00 Speaker 02 And you need a bubble to grab the dust.
39:01 Speaker 03 You need bubble, you need froth, you need froth through that. If you just put your hands straight back under the water, you just.
39:06 Speaker 02 You wash it with soap.
39:07 Speaker 03 It's like when I, when they share with the kids and, you know, when they're little, you're like, all right, wash your hair. You put the shampoo in their head and they just rinse it straight.
39:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, they don't even work it in.
39:14 Speaker 03 Yes.
39:16 Speaker 02 So this is the thing. So then.
39:18 Speaker 03 You put all the ingredients in the soup and take it straight off. You have to cook the soup.
39:22 Speaker 02 I said, she said to me, we're in this, we're at an Airbnb.
39:25 Speaker 03 Yep.
39:26 Speaker 02 And the tap was coming down quite tight to the basin.
39:30 Speaker 03 Yep.
39:30 Speaker 02 And she said, well, gosh, the tap's quite tight to the basin. And a friend who also was staying with, he said, yeah, I noticed that.
39:37 Speaker 03 Having a three-way wash.
39:38 Speaker 02 He, he said, I noticed that. And I said, I didn't notice that. And so I went back in just to see, and I washed my hands again, and there was no problems. And I said, no, I think the tap's fine. They're like, it doesn't allow you to sit underneath the tap while you're washing your hands. And I, I said, you don't need to, but both of the, I, I felt like the idiot.
39:59 Speaker 03 Also, almost the sink was too small. They were like, you get it, like it's spraying water out or?
40:03 Speaker 02 Well, no, it's just like they would have liked, they keep their hands underneath. When you're doing that bit where you rub your hands.
40:08 Speaker 03 So it's just an awkward, it was at an awkward height where they had to.
40:10 Speaker 02 It was awkwardly tight to the back wall.
40:12 Speaker 03 Quite simply, this is solved by all the, every government, I mean, you'd think it would be redundant, but every, didn't every government bring out a poster on how to wash your hands? Every state government, wherever you went, it was like, here's how you wash your hands.
40:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, wet.
40:25 Speaker 03 Take them out.
40:26 Speaker 02 Take them out.
40:27 Speaker 03 Lather them up. They usually put a ridiculous time on like 30 seconds.
40:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. Nah, just get a lather.
40:31 Speaker 03 It's like when people.
40:32 Speaker 02 Had a song, I don't know if it was staying alive or I was getting it mixed up with doing CPR, but they said like sing, sing staying alive while you're washing your hands.
40:39 Speaker 03 Wasn't there something like sing it twice?
40:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, whatever it is too long.
40:44 Speaker 03 Yes.
40:44 Speaker 02 And you're like, well, they just want us to go longer than what we were going. So when I go longer than what I was going.
40:48 Speaker 03 You know, it should be like, lather up your hands to the point where you're noticing you're going over the same area twice.
40:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:54 Speaker 03 Cause during the song, you're like, well, where else do I rub? I mean, I've done, my hands are only so big.
40:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm glad you sorted that out, but I also think we've probably done a community service.
41:03 Speaker 03 Speaking of hands, I think the last bit here. On this, like, you know, the echo of Covid. If you are in a pinch for hand sanitizing and because you get a bit more thinking about it with kids here because they're just at school, like, we're always like, straight inside the house, wash your hands. Yep. The easiest way to not get sick. But we're like, I was, I got used to the automatic sanitizers around like buildings and stuff. If you couldn't wash your hands, see me at airports, still shopping centres. We've got some here in the building. That I occasionally go to, but I reckon 90% of the automatic sanitizers you see in public places now just haven't been refilled since Covid. No way. Like, you go to them, so often put your hand under and the, the machine's like,
41:47 Speaker 03 hello? Oh, my God, no sanitizer. Oh, I haven't heard that name for a long time. You said never get anything out. Oh, six way out. Oh, sorry, maybe next week.
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