346 - Pizza for the People?

The pizza challenge has happened: Hamish (1/8th Italian) vs. Luca (full-blooded Italian), and it came down to the wire! During Upset Andy, Andy shocks the team with a fireplace revelation about his new house, and a new, unsuspecting team member is under the microscope! Pizza For the People Challenge - Hamish vs Luca. Upset Andy Jack Under the Microscope

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me Tape In, Hamish.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Okay, ah, ahoy to you, Andy. I think we might be methods of concealing,

• 0:37Speaker 03

  is it preparing to do a drag queen show?

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me tuck away. No.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me weft, Jack.

• 0:52Speaker 04

  Okay, I thought tape in might be something to do with painting, like tape, you tape before you paint if you're doing it, trying to do a good job of it.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  And I am the-

• 1:01Speaker 03

  But when do you weft?

• 1:03Speaker 04

  Well, if you're trying to do a bad job, maybe you just fast and loose, just start wefting all over the place.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  I am a keratin bond.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  Okay, that's something to do with hair, isn't it?

• 1:16Speaker 02

  Well done, Ham. The girls out there know exactly what it is.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  Couldn't see the girl nods too, so I didn't get that. Is this, is this a type of straightening?

• 1:24Speaker 02

  We have the three main professional hair extension methods.

• 1:28Speaker 03

  Extensions, yes.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, Tape In sounds a bit too sticky for hair.

• 1:34Speaker 04

  Bec's been doing the Tape In lately and then she always goes, hey, I'm not sure if I'm oversharing here, she goes, can people see the tape? And I'm like, oh, I actually can. You can just see a little bit of tape that sits inside and it's-

• 1:45Speaker 03

  Is it just, I spend my life trying to keep tape away from the kids' hair.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:49Speaker 03

  Because you don't put tape in your hair, I, I explain.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  I don't know the type of tape.

• 1:55Speaker 04

  Is it painful for her to pull it off though?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  Uh, it says, it says here, according to it, it has to be refitted every six to eight weeks.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  That's a strong tape.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  Big tape.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  Do you wet it?

• 2:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's swimming with them, she's there, the girls are there and nodding and going, you guys are idiots.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  Maybe it's the strength, you know, sometimes you get a Band-Aid on you.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  And it, and it just stays.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Sometimes you get ones that just, you cannot make stick for love nor money. Like, two minutes later, it's just like, no, just don't have the grip strength today and it falls off the mountain.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  Exactly, tie.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  And then other ones-

• 2:28Speaker 04

  Other ones become part of the skin, yeah.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Little black edge, it's usually the fabric ones, isn't it? They get a little black edge and you're like, my God, you have been on there for weeks. I wonder what's under you. Maybe it's that kind of tape.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Exactly. Ahoy also to Steph Jones, who is on the Sunshine Coast. She went to hamishandandy.com. Let us know what she's up to.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 2:47Speaker 05

  Hey boys, Steph here from Sunshine Coast Private Hospital. Just relaxing in bed here after some back surgery. And I thought I'd give you an update on my latest power mover, my husband. And that is that we like to do the New York Times Wordle and Strands and Connections in the morning.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 3:08Speaker 05

  And he doesn't realise I've been completing them on my phone before he wakes up. And then we do it on my iPad.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  Great.

• 3:17Speaker 05

  Together.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  Look like a savant.

• 3:18Speaker 05

  And he thinks I'm quite smart. Needless to say, gusto to me.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  No gusto, anyone needs gusto, it's someone recovering from back surgery, so full gusto, full gusto. I love also to do, like, I love going, I'm relaxing in hospital.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Not even recovering.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  But I think, is a relaxing a better form of recovering?

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's probably, she's probably gone past, she's probably not feeling so sore anymore. I reckon that's when you transition from-

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Because it's like, if the doctors came in and went, have you, you know, have you been resting? If you went, no, I've actually been relaxing.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  And they went, oh no, we told you to rest. Oh, okay. I thought it was a higher form of rest was to relax.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Ham, it's happened.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  It's happened, God.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  The pizza challenge has happened, everybody. Hamish versus Luca.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  Who is a pizza maker, pizza lover.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  He challenged Hamish and said, if you can make a better pizza than me, you win 100 pizzas. We headed out to his store, he had a home ground advantage.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  That's tricky.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  And, I mean, we talked a lot about it, it was quite a hike.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  It was not a nearby shop.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Um, it involved an interstate flight for me and that's okay.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  But as we arrived, Jack, you were going to be the foreman. We had six listeners, one was running late, as you'll find out. They were outside, so they couldn't see who was making the pizzas. You both had a chance to make a pizza each. Ham, you got actually two chances, but you can only serve one pizza each.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  That's correct. That's the rules. That's the usual rules of a pizza showdown, when you have a grandmaster versus an amateur. One thing, Andy, I think we need to point out here to the people before you hear this is, the whole, one of the, and I mentioned this on one of the previous shows, one of the whole reasons I was so, you know, it would look like I was so courageous to take this challenge, was because I have made wood fired pizza before.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  I've stretched, I'm not, not a complete novice, but I think Luca thought I was. So that enticed me.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Listen out to it. There is a point where Luca realises, oh.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  He's not a complete amateur and it's exciting. But it was a hell of a battle. It comes down to the wire. Enjoy.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  As we approached Luca's restaurant, La Calabrese, we saw Jack and some jury members sitting at the front on a long white table. Importantly, with their backs to the restaurant and the kitchen, so they could not see which maestro would be at work.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Hello guys.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  Hello, Andy.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  Nice to meet you, Emma.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  Foreman. Hello. So Jack, isn't there meant to be, there's someone's late.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Right. Aren't you responsible for that?

• 6:02Speaker 04

  Well, I can't, I can't control traffic and people's ability to leave on time. I can't even get that with my wife. I'm not going to get it with a stranger, I don't know. That's fair, I was like, how are you feeling?

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Look, I'll be honest with you. I'll talk to you about that, I don't want to, in front of the juries.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Don't tell us anything. We actually want to stay impartial. We don't-

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Good, I want you to be impartial. I want to win fair and square. You obviously aren't going to know which one's which. You don't know if it's first or second, but just all I would say to you is-

• 6:32Speaker 04

  Hang on, we've got to check that this is admissible.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  No, just treat each pizza with, you know-

• 6:38Speaker 04

  We know how to judge a pizza.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  Do you?

• 6:41Speaker 04

  Yes, we do.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  What have you told them? Have you given them a speech?

• 6:43Speaker 04

  I was going to when our fifth person comes.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Okay. I worry that you're not going to talk to them about how to do this seriously.

• 6:49Speaker 04

  I don't have something prepared, but I'll flow something.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  All right. Okay, Emma, I'll ask you a question.

• 6:56Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  If you had to pick someone you want to win, who would you pick?

• 7:01Speaker 06

  Uh, I refuse to answer on the grounds that my incriminate me.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  Oh, well, that's, that's exactly right.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  You just want the best pizza to win.

• 7:07Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. Okay, that was a test and you passed it.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  And do we agree that you all already have won two pizzas for a right being here today? I think we did. Yeah, Angela, you?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  We better, because otherwise I'm walking. No, congratulations, you've already won two pizzas, so-

• 7:23Speaker 04

  An effort to try and make you more impartial.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  You don't have to rig anything.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  You're not trying to get through the pizzas.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  You're already pizza winners.

• 7:29Speaker 04

  Yes. You guys go start-

• 7:31Speaker 03

  I've got prep to do, so we won't start cooking till you-

• 7:33Speaker 04

  Talk to Luca about like, I don't know, safety and washing your hands and stuff. We'll talk about what the jury has to do when Keely arrives. Maybe Hamish's secret is not washing his hands. That's the secret. Please wash your hands.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  We left Jack to address the jury and headed inside to meet the man himself, Luca.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Here he is.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  Here he is.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  He's got his corner man with him. How are you, mate? Good to see you.

• 8:01Speaker 07

  Welcome, man.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Andy, nice to meet you.

• 8:04Speaker 07

  Welcome to my emboldenedness, La Calabrese.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  It's amazing.

• 8:07Speaker 04

  Gorgeous. Are you nervous?

• 8:09Speaker 07

  No, why should I?

• 8:11Speaker 04

  Why should you? Because-

• 8:12Speaker 03

  What if I come in off the street and accidentally perfectly harness my one-eighth Italian blood?

• 8:20Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  And just happen to make the best pizza?

• 8:23Speaker 07

  I consider that. And I promise, I didn't do the mistake to underestimate you. I know you're full of surprise. And the judge is going to taste the flavour. So it's a very personal test. It's all about the topping. That's why I picked my best seller on the menu.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Oh, now, before, before you say what pizza you're going with, I don't want them to hear that.

• 8:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 04

  But I also don't want it to influence what Hamish goes for, because I'm not convinced you've thought about it.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  I got one question. Do you know what you're going with? Yeah, I'm embarrassed because I'm in racking my brains. I'm racking my brains. I hadn't given it a lot of thought before.

• 8:59Speaker 04

  I know, yeah. We drove out today and you were like, I better think about this pizza. And that worried me.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  I'm embarrassed, because at the moment, margarita seems like my, my front runner. To make a margarita, I think it's a good idea. What is your pizza?

• 9:16Speaker 07

  I'm not going to tell you.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  You're not going to tell me?

• 9:21Speaker 07

  Forget about it.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  One group we hoped wouldn't be engaging in skullduggery was our trusted jury. Jack gave them their instructions.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  All right, jury, under your plates, you will find a scorecard. We don't know, not know what Pizza A and Pizza B is. One will be Hamish's, one will be Luca's. When you eat the pizza, first feast on it with your eyes, then your mouth, let it savour in the mouth, and then give the pizza a score out of 10.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  When you have both scores, circle which pizza is the winner. Pizza A, Pizza B, hide it back under your plate, so that Hamish and Luca can't see the results here. Do you understand?

• 10:03Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Do all jury members plead to the world that they will do the right thing?

• 10:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Do all jury members promise to be unbiased?

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Promise.

• 10:16Speaker 04

  Do all jury members promise to eat their pizza enjoyably?

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Right. Who's hungry?

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. I ate, I ate lunch too near to the, to the judging. I'm annoyed by that. I even had dessert.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Did you have pizza?

• 10:34Speaker 04

  I didn't. I had chicken and chips, but with a chocolate mousse on top.

• 10:37Speaker 06

  Dessert at lunch?

• 10:38Speaker 04

  I know.

• 10:39Speaker 06

  Must be nice.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Luca wouldn't tell Hamish what he was making just yet, but he would tell me.

• 10:49Speaker 07

  I would have to be with the meatballs. I have some tomato puree and eggplant chips. But you know what, also I'm afraid, Andy, if they see it, it looks really good. They will know it's me making it.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  No, I think they make more out of it. That's up to you. You can, I mean, I can't.

• 11:09Speaker 07

  I don't know what strategy you.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  I can't, I can't coach you. But yes, if you would like to prefer to make an uglier looking pizza that still tastes delicious.

• 11:16Speaker 07

  Correct.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  That would might throw them. But don't overthink it.

• 11:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Okay.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  So Luca was going with a meatball pizza with eggplant chips, possibly ugly looking to try and trick them. What did Hame have in mind? I think a pepperoni pizza, if he gives me access to the right herbs,

• 11:36Speaker 02

  can bring the house down because you know what I'd like to put on the top of pepperoni? Tiny bit of aniseed.

• 11:41Speaker 07

  Really?

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Okay, that's, well, this is exciting. Just so you know, I've tried yours, I've tried his. I think I've preferred yours so far.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Feeling good.

• 12:02Speaker 07

  Are you trying to scare me?

• 12:04Speaker 03

  No, we're not scaring you.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  All right, so, but now is it, because I'm actually gonna have, I'm gonna have to ask Luca where the ingredients are.

• 12:10Speaker 07

  Yes, so I think.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  So now we've locked in our choices.

• 12:13Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  We can reveal.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  And I think it's fair to reveal so you can't change.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  I need to ask you where these ingredients might be.

• 12:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, of course.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  So.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  So Luca, what, you can now tell Hamish what you're making and he won't change. What?

• 12:26Speaker 07

  Okay, I'm gonna make mozzarella and tomato base. My house made meatballs. I made a special tomato puree to put on top as well. Some of the fresh trascatella cheese. Cherry tomato confit and eggplant chips.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Shit, okay. So you're going mozzarella and stretch, two cheeses.

• 12:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, correct. One is fresh.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Yep, yep, okay.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Hamish?

• 12:52Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go tomato mozzarella base, bit of pepperoni, classic. But I need access to some herbs. Do you have a spice rack?

• 13:00Speaker 07

  I do have something, yeah. What spicy would you need?

• 13:03Speaker 02

  I like on the top of a pepperoni to sometimes put a little bit of aniseed.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  Do you have aniseed?

• 13:10Speaker 07

  Wow, I don't think I have.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  I think you just realised how good that will taste and you're lying and saying you don't have it because you know it's a winning flavour.

• 13:18Speaker 07

  I think that's terrible. I will give you, I will buy for you.

• 13:23Speaker 07

  That's why I don't have, because I hate it, I like it.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  So he sent someone off to buy the aniseed while Luca showed Hamish all the other pizza toppings in the kitchen. As Luca listed the beautiful fresh ingredients, I was worried Hame might be swayed from his pepperoni and aniseed decision.

• 13:40Speaker 07

  Italian ham, champignon mushroom, roast chicken, artichokes, Italian olive, zucchini, capsicum, radish.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  Hamish, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass. For you, because you don't need any of these things.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  No, but although caramelised onion.

• 13:55Speaker 07

  Caramelised onion.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  I'm not saying it's going on, but it could, the tiniest amount could.

• 14:00Speaker 07

  That's good. Okay, don't.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Nah, I'm not.

• 14:02Speaker 07

  Don't get thrown by him.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  No, no, I'm going classic, classic. Do you have any fresh garlic?

• 14:07Speaker 07

  Fresh garlic, I do.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  I'm gonna, I'll make my own tomato base with that, but I might add a little more garlic.

• 14:15Speaker 07

  All right, I have garlic confit as well to make it softer.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  I'll do that. I'll do a confit garlic. Thank you.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, outside, Jack was bonding with the jury. Do I ask you what you do, Angela?

• 14:28Speaker 05

  I'm on a career break. I used to own.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 14:34Speaker 05

  I used to own a company and I sold my share at the end of last year.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  Are you happy to be semi-retired?

• 14:39Speaker 05

  Yes, it's great. Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  What a life.

• 14:42Speaker 05

  That's the life that you're living.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  I was saying, like, how lucky we.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  Hamish won the toss. He'd be going first as pizza A. It was time to draw on all my Italian heritage and make the best damn pizza anyone had seen or tasted at 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. I was in the zone and I don't think Luca was ready for my dough skills.

• 15:06Speaker 07

  I didn't make any special dough for the band. We're gonna use the usual dough we use.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 15:10Speaker 07

  Which is, sorry to tell you, but it's 85% hydrated sour dough. So it's probably, it's gonna be a real challenge for you. But man, if you are able to stretch it and put it in there,

• 15:25Speaker 07

  let me know if it happens something, you know, you wanna work with me because I never saw someone able to do it straight away without experience.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Polish the gold medal because you're about to see it for the first time.

• 15:35Speaker 07

  Wow, I'm not joking. I'm serious. Like, wow. It's taken me a lot to train my team to stretch a problem.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  I'm a fast learner. Out comes his dough.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 15:48Speaker 07

  How did you know how to do that?

• 15:49Speaker 02

  How did he know how to do it?

• 15:50Speaker 03

  It just seems right.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Oh, this is the first time I've seen the champ worried and.

• 15:59Speaker 07

  I wasn't expecting that.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  He knows how to do it.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  See, it's a, it's a very delicate dough though.

• 16:04Speaker 07

  It is.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  He does have some skills and the champ is starting to look nervous over there, Luca, in the corner. Oh, not bad. It's stretching out nicely. It's stretching out nicely. Oh, now he's trying to do that thing where they throw it up. Oh dear. He's throwing it up. He's catching it.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  What do you think about?

• 16:25Speaker 07

  I respect you. You have my respect.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Oh my God. Luca has got, yeah, a fake hat, but he did mime taking his hat off because Hamish did the double fist toss up in the air, catch of his fists. And Luca now knows that there's a player. He is up against an opponent.

• 16:44Speaker 07

  He trained at the time.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  It's, hey, I told you, you're intimidated now, aren't you? I saw you look across at the register wondering how many thousands of dollars is a hundred pizzas? I know.

• 16:55Speaker 07

  Gotta regret that.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Jack was using the time outside to outsource his work again on the board game.

• 17:03Speaker 06

  Can't you just take a really popular game and, yeah, like Love Letter?

• 17:07Speaker 02

  Love Letters?

• 17:08Speaker 06

  Yeah, have you ever played that?

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love that.

• 17:10Speaker 06

  It's a great game. It's easy, low entry point. You don't have to learn rules.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 06

  Surely you can do something that actually points something.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  That's kinda like, the game I was thinking of is kinda similar to that.

• 17:18Speaker 06

  All right, so I want 5%.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  My dough was stretched and ready. My special passata with extra garlic was made and my pepperoni was sliced extra thin. Now, I just needed my special ingredient to hopefully tip it over the edge. Special delivery of aniseed if you need it. I'll pop this over here. Yes, yes, yes. Hamish has popped his pizza. Oh boy, okay. On the pizza spatula. What do you call a pizza spatula thing?

• 17:46Speaker 07

  Uh, the pizza peel.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Pizza peel?

• 17:50Speaker 07

  Pizza peel, this one, yeah.

• 17:53Speaker 02

  A peel, pizza?

• 17:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Peel, pizza peel?

• 17:57Speaker 07

  Pizza peel.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  All right. I think you just made that up. Did you know, why did it take you so long to know what it was? You use this all the time.

• 18:05Speaker 07

  Yeah, because they're English.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  All right, what do you?

• 18:07Speaker 07

  It's a pala in Italian.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  A pala, okay.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  It's like, does this guy own this shop?

• 18:12Speaker 07

  We are all Italian, so I said, give me la pala.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, okay, great. Okay, the aniseed has arrived in time from the delicacies around the world. This is the controversial moment. Is, or just how much is he sprinkling on? The tiniest sprinkling of aniseed.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  It's controversial, but it's going.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  It's going in. I love it. The peel is in, or the pala.

• 18:40Speaker 07

  Oh my God.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  So while things were looking good in the kitchen, outside, the jury were getting a little restless. Where are these pizzas, by the way?

• 18:48Speaker 03

  Pizza show.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Points off definitely for how long this has taken.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  That's what I was wondering, did they heat the oven up before? Because that takes like an hour where you gotta burn the wood and stuff.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Maybe that's what they didn't do.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Can you imagine?

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Of course we'd fire up the oven, guys. But yes, it had been a while. And whilst Hame's pizza was in and cooking, he too was eager to get it to a hungry jury. I wanna touch it. I wanna touch it.

• 19:11Speaker 07

  Don't touch it.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Don't touch it? Nah, Hame, wait for it to crisp.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  I mean, it's, it's such delicate dough.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I think, I think it can sit for a bit.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not cooking, it's, I'd say this, maybe about 400?

• 19:24Speaker 07

  Not less, 350. Yeah, 350, around that.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  I think you wanna do, just going off my pizza, actually, I'm not meant to say, but my pizza oven at the beach house. I reckon he wants at least 90 seconds.

• 19:36Speaker 07

  90 seconds?

• 19:37Speaker 02

  Like this. Hamish looking deep.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Into the pizza oven.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Oh, it looks good. It looks good. What are the chances, Hame, of this being the actual pizza and not the practice round?

• 19:53Speaker 03

  It's close because the, I've been through a few choke points and like.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  There's a lot of variables. The fact that he got the dough out well was impressive.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  It was.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  And then.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  I think this could be it. That dough is just so thin. It's like I could just see it tearing or ripping.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, he's sliding it back out. It looks like there's been no disasters in, oh wow.

• 20:16Speaker 07

  It's pretty good.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  You did a great job, guys.

• 20:18Speaker 07

  It's pretty good.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  It is.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Wow. I think it does have a little hole in it because it's. It's okay. You can hear it sizzling on the grammar. I don't think they'll detect it. Yeah. There's a hole. We can disguise it with the cutting. Oh no, there's cheese dripping out the bottom of that. Oh god. You did great.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  It's got a hole in it, which I could disguise with the cutting. I hope it's pretty good. What do you think?

• 20:42Speaker 07

  I wish impressive, to be honest. Impressive. With this dough, that what you've done is impressive.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  What do you reckon? I reckon it's bloody good.

• 20:49Speaker 07

  You did a good job.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  This is looking really good. Now we'll cut it and send it out, yeah?

• 20:53Speaker 07

  Guys, I wasn't expecting that.

• 20:56Speaker 02

  It's good?

• 20:57Speaker 07

  It is.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 20:58Speaker 07

  It is good.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Well done, Hamish.

• 20:59Speaker 07

  Better of son of my stuff.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Better than some of your stuff?

• 21:04Speaker 07

  Impressive, yeah.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Oh. This is a good pizza. Good pizza. Okay, cut that into six. Hey. Luca, you start your pizza.

• 21:11Speaker 07

  Wherever he gonna go, you have my respect.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:16Speaker 07

  You did a good job. Wasn't expecting.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  You kick into yours straight away. Okay, good luck.

• 21:19Speaker 07

  Okay. I'm hot.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Good luck, Luca. Luca jumped into action and I presented Pizza A to the jury. Hungry jury members.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  Oh. Mate, we are hungry. What's been going on there?

• 21:33Speaker 02

  There's been a lot of discussion about the rules and people cheating and etcetera. But I have for you Pizza A.

• 21:40Speaker 04

  Wow. Well, I can say it looks good.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:44Speaker 04

  And because you took much longer than we expected, we are all hungry. So we're looking forward to it. It looks and smells great.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Doesn't it?

• 21:51Speaker 04

  Yes. I don't want to lead the jury. We're all, we've agreed to be independent.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  Impartial.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Score independently.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  Yes. So remember, Pizza A, have a taste, give it a score, and then you'll know your preferred. I'll see how Pizza B is going. Good luck, jurors.

• 22:08Speaker 07

  That's good.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  That is really good.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  While the jury munch down on my pizza, Luca wasn't finding his own dough that easy to work with either.

• 22:19Speaker 07

  This kind of dough, you need to sh- oh, look at that. I got a small hole too. What's happening here?

• 22:32Speaker 07

  Because I only have one shot, right? I cannot take it.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  The jury had finished their first slice and had some thoughts. It was delicious. It was really good. I will say that. Mine was very, very, very slightly undercooked.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  I feel like the sauce, there was something about the sauce.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Interesting. Yeah, I definitely tasted a bit of lapsing consistency through the pizza.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Yeah. Some, yeah. Thick part of the crust at the back, and I looked at it on the side, it looked a little doughy.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:02Speaker 04

  I had a nice, really crispy bit of crust on mine, towards the back.

• 23:05Speaker 06

  Which also speaks into the cooking. The cheese distribution was a little bit.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  Funny.

• 23:12Speaker 06

  Uneven.

• 23:13Speaker 04

  I will say my first bite was so good.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  But by the end, I was like, it's okay.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Hmm, I had the exact same experience.

• 23:20Speaker 06

  It was the tomato sauce for me. It was missing a little something. Hmm. And I felt like the herbs were a bit recklessly tossed.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  The herbs were reckless?

• 23:29Speaker 06

  But just tossed around like, no.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Did you say fast and loose?

• 23:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, I would say fast and loose.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 23:36Speaker 06

  Pizza B's at a disadvantage.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 23:38Speaker 06

  Because we were all so hungry.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  We, we worked ourselves up with such anticipation.

• 23:43Speaker 06

  Frenzy.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  For pizza, that Pizza A gets a free kick, but. The first bite was.

• 23:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, amazing.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  Back in the kitchen, Luca worked at, to be honest, lightning pace and had his meatball pizza in the oven already. All out. We'll just have a quick look and Luca's pizza has puffed up significantly higher than Hamish's. But it wasn't.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  It's not a puff, puff competition.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Sorry. I mean, honestly. He looked very light on what he put on. But the thing is, he's doing double cook. Ah, double cook. Now, now he's putting on that zucchini. Stretchy teller. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. The tomato confit. So it goes into two layers, it's a two-layer pizza.

• 24:25Speaker 07

  Now they're gonna think.

• 24:28Speaker 07

  One gonna looks, uh, beginner, looks good but beginner. The other one gonna looks a little bit more advanced.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 24:36Speaker 07

  But you know what? I hope they come, they say, oh, that's the strategy. They is hoping, you know what I mean? Like, too confusing them.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  It's a strategy game. I think they're both overthinking it, but with a few final touches, Luca's Pizza B was ready to go. Eggplant chips being placed on, they're kind of thinly sliced, dried out eggplant. Amongst meatballs, confit tomatoes, there's an extra sauce that's going on top. It's a very skilled, it's a skilled, it's a skilled pizza with an advanced shopping list. This is a man right at home.

• 25:13Speaker 07

  Good luck to us.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  Good luck to both of you. You also have my respect.

• 25:19Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  What a pizza. All right.

• 25:22Speaker 07

  Thanks.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  A lot of respect in the kitchen, but the power lies with our respected jury. All right, everybody. Pizza B.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  Ooh, okay.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:35Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  There's meatballs, eggplant chips, confit tomatoes, some stretchy teller, and, and another sauce.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  It's hard to know if this is made by a professional or someone who's trying to appear. Doing too much.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Mmm, yes, or someone that's really YouTube some things overnight.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Thank you, Andy. All right, we'll let you enjoy the pizza and guys, we'll be back for your final scores. Thank you.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  Mmm.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, a little bit tall. It's a bit of a curveball.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  It's not an easy one. Wasn't my favorite type of pizza.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  I was also feeling that, like, the crust was really good.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  Crust is great.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  Really good too. But then the first pizza, the flavor.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  The flavor was better.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Was a personal preference.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:28Speaker 06

  This one got lucky because I like this kind of pizza. But it does have a little hint of someone has been on TikTok.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  I thought the crust on the second one was a little bit burnt, at least for my piece it was, but I think that speaks to how it gets placed in the oven. Everyone can have a different piece.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Emma?

• 26:46Speaker 06

  I preferred the crust on the second one. Mine was better cooked, and I think I like vegetables. So I quite enjoyed the experience.

• 26:58Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was the same, like, preference personally for the first pizza. I like that style of pizza better, so. Angela?

• 27:06Speaker 04

  Uh, the meatballs on Pizza B, I've never had that before, which tasted one-eighth Italian to me.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  Okay, some mixed opinions.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Both pizzas had been consumed and scored. Time for the jury to seal these Italian men's fates. You both have to stand here neutrally. We will not reveal who is Pizza A or Pizza B until the final results are in.

• 27:31Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  We understand. Okay?

• 27:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, we do.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  So no fist pumps, no yeses, just stand there neutrally.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Jack, do you want to direct the jury as the foreman?

• 27:41Speaker 04

  We have, as a jury, deliberated, but before we give our verdict individually, we'd just like to say both pizzas were very, very tasty. So thank you for making them.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  Oh, that's good. Did you guys reach a unanimous decision?

• 27:56Speaker 04

  We know only a vibe of what each person liked. We didn't reveal to each other.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, great.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  What we voted for.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  Okay. Well, starting with Keely, Pizza A or Pizza B?

• 28:07Speaker 06

  I would like to vote for Pizza B.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Okay. Callahan, Pizza A or Pizza B?

• 28:13Speaker 04

  Pizza A.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Ooh. Emma, Pizza A or Pizza B?

• 28:17Speaker 06

  We didn't plan this. Pizza B.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Pizza B. Caleb? I'm Pizza A.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Angela? Pizza B. Oh, it comes down to Jack. Bearing in mind, you did do scores, so.

• 28:32Speaker 04

  We have previously written them down.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  If there's a count back, I'll go back and to the armageddon safe and retrieve the scores and then be able to do the count back. Jack, are you Pizza A or Pizza B?

• 28:43Speaker 04

  My favorite pizza was Pizza A.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  Oh. It's a tie. It's a tie. It's a tie. We now. Okay. Jury. Okay. We now go back and we count the scores. Okay, I'm gonna count the scores quick, quick.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  Interesting. I'm just seeing patterns with this might mean nothing, but the females amongst us voted for Pizza B, the, the men voted for Pizza A. Interesting.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  Not often are the accused left with the jury without the judge.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  This is very intense, standing there.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Feel like you should be making a case.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  But the judge did soon return to deliver the final verdict. I have the count back results.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  Pizza.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  A received forty-seven point five points. That, that's out of sixty. Out of sixty, yeah. Pizza B received forty-five points, some two point five lower, making Pizza A the winner. Hamish played.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Oh my god, pizza, right? A hundred pieces, pizza for the people. It means a lot.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  He's won.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Wow. Wow, wow, hey.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  We must say they were both brilliant pizzas. What I can tell you, what can I say? Ciao. Grazie mille, grazie mille. Rivederci, ciao. Bon appetito, bon appetito.

• 30:17Speaker 07

  The Italian blood's working out.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  A hundred pieces for the people.

• 30:20Speaker 07

  A hundred pieces for the people. Well done.

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Well done, well done, Hame.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Just unbelievable. Now, look, I think it's also, it's a fascinating sport, Pizza Jules. I'll say this up top, in case it wasn't clear enough. What a legend Luca was. I mean, he let me use his dough. And I know we said that kind of had to happen because it'd be very easy to tell which pizza was which if I had to make my own dough. But I, when I was talking about the dough, it's like, he spent years developing that dough. And so it's really, you know, you've got to tip your hat to go, a lot of the pizza's the dough. But I feel like I beat him tactically. I do feel like I beat him tactically. I mean, when we got there, it was like, it was a kind of a chilly afternoon. And you're feeding hungry people pizza. I mean, going first was a huge advantage.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  It was a great win.

• 31:10Speaker 03

  It was a huge, like, winning the toss was an enormous win for me, Ando. And I also need to admit something. The idea of putting aniseed seeds on pepperoni, not my original idea. Well, actually it is, but not deliberately original. Because there's a pizza place in Sydney, people would know Bella Bruda. Like, it's out west. I think it's probably the best pizza in Sydney.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Well, I like Pinos, but.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  They were so nice.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  I like Zio Pinos.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  If you can't be at Zio Pinos, they do a pizza. Turns out I'd misremembered because I went there last night. They do a pepperoni, it's actually fennel they sprinkle on, not aniseed. So I kind of misremembered that. And so I've gone for this, I've gone for this avant garde ingredient. Misremembered it. And that's why I was a little, I didn't sprinkle too much on.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  It was yum.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  So when you get it, still, I mean, they are pretty similar, aniseed and fennel. But I do have to, just in case, you know, the powers that be at Bella Bruda are listening going, I'm pretty sure that's our idea. Anyway, I stole off you guys and I won. I won fair and square. And we have won a hundred pieces for the people.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  You and I thought exactly the same thing when it came down to Jack with the deciding vote.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  I just knew, I was like, there's no way.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  He's a simple boy.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Little boy. He's gonna go for something with stracciatella, a meatball, an eggplant chip. He is a pepperoni boy. And that's why I did it. He's a ninja turtle. He's a ninja turtle, who doesn't love a pepperoni? And once again, Luca left his flank open. You've left it open here for someone to win with a crowd pleaser.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  A hundred pizzas are available for everyone to go. And how we want to run it, Hame, head in.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Look, we just said to Luca, I don't know how you're going to do this. It's not a system that many pizza shops are up for. But this is the way we think it should work. You just have like a little tab next to the cash register. That's like the Hamish and Andy 100 pizza tab. And anyone that's in the area that's like near.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  Or travels there.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Or wants to travel there. I guess the system is they're good until they're gone. You do have to assume the risk. If you travel there and go, hey, we're here to eat one of the free pizzas from Hamish and Andy and they're gone. It would be polite for you to stay and still order a pizza.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  But I think it's just essentially like, don't be greedy, don't abuse the system. You know, don't take 99 clients with you.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  No, it's a two pizza or per person max.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  Is it? Or do we just want to go like, take it as needed? And just leave it up to people's decency?

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  It doesn't sound like you do want to leave it up to people's decency.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  It's just, there's a loophole for the 99 clients.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  All right, two pizzas max.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  We'll check in with Luca in future weeks and see how they're going.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Well done, Hame.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Ando, these, these keep coming in, pouring in. And I print them off and then put them loosely in an in-tray. That's.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  In no particular order?

• 34:16Speaker 03

  I put them, if the in-tray is flat, I kind of let them spill out a bit onto the desk because they are upset Andy's.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Everything is neat and practical. Because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Can I throw, I know this is upset Andy, but the please Andy things.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, Hamish.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  You get it once a year on your birthday week? Which of course it is always your birthday year, but on your birthday week, you do get, we need to get to pleasure Andy. Beck and I are looking at a lot of different kind of joinery and appliances and stuff.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  Oh, yes.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  There's so many.

• 34:55Speaker 03

  You need most of the available joinery on the eastern seaboard.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  There's so many like perfect compartments these days for different things. You know, like within the fridge, without the fridge.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  And like, even when you go to like kitchen cabinets, they've got drawers for everything.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, you would love it.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Heaven.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  Loving it. So yes, I'm on that high at the moment, it'll be tough to upset me.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  Do you get private viewings or are you in the shop or?

• 35:22Speaker 02

  I've been in the shop.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  Yep, I'm just saying, like, you know, how exciting.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Don't say with such an everyman, yeah, I've been in the shop.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  I was in the shop.

• 35:30Speaker 04

  The size of the place you're furnishing does not give you common man stuff.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  They would be, they would be flying internationally for one, one second of an audience with you. If we land this job, it's 65 square kilometres of kitchen. If we land this benching job, we are set. Quick question, no mucking around, how many fireplaces do you have?

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Because last time I walked through, I lost count. Unless you hire a professional fire lighter, you'll, it's like Game of Thrones in there. Like, I was shocked to hear that Andy had any other lighting going into the house. I just figured with this many fireplaces, you've gone from medieval feel.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  He's right.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  How many?

• 36:13Speaker 03

  You won't say the number, you won't say the number, will you?

• 36:15Speaker 02

  It's half a dozen. Whoa.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  That's, there will be castles with less. Castles with less.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Huge. Four inside, two outside.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Any in the dog's room?

• 36:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  Two, two outside fireplace, what, you've got a front yard one?

• 36:33Speaker 02

  No, we've got like a little.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Because by the time you light one, then you get in the golf cart, drive all the way to the backyard and you light that one. You have to go back to the front and keep throwing logs on it.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  No, we've got outside a little Argentinian grill, you know, like where you can hang meats? Oh, yeah, that's what I'm excited about. And then we've got like.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  It is a king's castle, isn't it? It is a king's castle. He's flaming a boar that he's bow hunted earlier to give to all his preferred knights.

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, and it's right on the river, so it's almost like a moat around a little half of the building.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  That's where the Yarra has been repurposed as a moat. We'll now know it as Andy's moat.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  That's where the other one is, it's like a little fire pit down there, so you can see it beside the river and.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  The guards, keep warm. The soldiers on the front gate.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Andy's guys, the two guys with crossbows, having to lazily man the moat entrance. All right. Well, not, wasn't meant for the.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  Both little jesters can come around whenever you like.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. Brought up from, brought up from the six floors below from the dungeon, Dance for the King. Um, Stephen, Stephen, if you've got something to upset Andy, don't tell me that you work at a fireplace company and you've only got four available.

• 37:48Speaker 06

  No, no. Um, yes, so my upset Andy, I've got a home automation setup at home, like the Google, Google speakers.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 06

  So there's like smart bulbs and you can voice command the TV and that. And I've got a smart kettle as well.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 38:06Speaker 06

  So you can turn the kettle on just with the voice command.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  Must be nice.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  How many kettles do you have?

• 38:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, well, well, that's it, right? So I've got, I've just got the one kettle. I can't imagine how many Andy will have in, in his new home, but I've just got the one.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 06

  But the, the speakers, it's set up wrong. And so it thinks there's multiple kettles. So when I say boil the kettle, it says which kettle? And I don't even know what to answer, like it doesn't have a name.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Or anything that doesn't work.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  Instead of like fixing that, I just say, uh, Google boil all the kettles in the kitchen.

• 38:44Speaker 03

  And does it work?

• 38:45Speaker 02

  It does the trick.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. There you go. You've just got one extra layer in there.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  This is such a futuristic upside Andy. I would, yeah, I would absolutely fix that. I'd be going, okay. Straight away, I'd be trying to work out why it thinks there's more and I'd be resetting it.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I do like the command of it is set to Andy Lee mode. Boil all the kettles in the house. But sir, there's not enough power on the grid. Do it. Yes, your majesty.

• 39:10Speaker 04

  Stephen, thank you. Um, Daniel. Ahoy, boys. Ahoy to you, mate. Ahoy, boys. How are you? And the little, little boy, how you going, mate? Ahoy, Daniel. That's good, mate. That's good. Okay.

• 39:20Speaker 03

  What have you got topsy-dandy?

• 39:21Speaker 04

  Okay. Well, my, my granddad is a bit of an odd, odd fellow. Uh, and he actually, when he has a sore eyes or maybe a bit of an earache, um, he doesn't tend to put the right stuff in. He just thinks, well, if I've got sore eyes, I'll put my ear drops in there. That's right. And if my ears are sore, put your eye drops in. He thinks, when he's approached about it, he just says, well, they're all just holes in your head, so they're going to connect up eventually. Ointments are ointments.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  Ointments are ointments.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  That, yeah, no, I'm not doing that.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  That is wild.

• 39:52Speaker 04

  I mean, I don't think you, Ham, is a fast and loose comrade.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  I mean, I would.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Maybe accidentally, but if you had both, you wouldn't put ear drops in your eyes.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  No, but they'll connect up.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Just, yeah, they do connect up that, but that's not the basis of head medicine to go, if it connects, if it connects, it takes the same. I, I recognize that being an ENT obviously is a long degree, I'm sure. And if I have a hearing problem.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Don't connect to the ears.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  Ears, nose and throat. That's what that stands for.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  That's right. But if, so if, if you were like, I'm going blind, I wouldn't go and see the ENT and go, come on, mate, it's all holes.

• 40:29Speaker 03

  They're all going to connect in there eventually.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  Throw some nasal spray in your ears.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  An ophthalmologist. Medical fasten looseness is the wildest frontier of fasten looseness.

• 40:38Speaker 04

  A nasal spray in the ear?

• 40:41Speaker 03

  It's not crazy.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  I don't think that's one, but. No, but that doesn't sound as crazy as an eye drop, oh, sorry, an eardrop in your eye. I think. Why don't you give it a go? I won't, but thank you for the offer.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  If you, if you had a blocked ear, because doesn't it, nasal spray sort of dries everything out.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Can't imagine, and again, this isn't medical advice, but I can't imagine a Sudafed spray in your ear.

• 41:01Speaker 04

  No.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  You had a blocked ear. I can't imagine doing too much of damage. Worst comes to worst, it could dry everything out and it could all just fall out.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  No, no, no, we're not, that is, that's.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  Then it's not medical advice. It's a medical wonder. It's an experiment.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Thank you, Daniel. Uh, Jack, ahoy.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Ahoy, gusto to you, two big boys and one little boy.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  And also to you. Thank you, Jack.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Uh, all right. So I've got a stand up desk at work and at some point, one of the legs, obviously it's got two mechanical legs. At some point, one of them got slightly buggered and it's about, it sits about five centimeters lower than the other leg. So the whole desk is sitting at about a 10 degree angle all the time, but.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Happy days. I've got a four-way monitor arm, so I just kind of angle that the other way, counteract the angle for the desk. The, the screens are still in line.

• 41:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  The neck's happy, the eyes are happy, the hands just kind of figure it out.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. Just got a keyboard slope.

• 41:59Speaker 04

  I, yeah.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  That's exactly why they build monitors with an adjustable.

• 42:03Speaker 04

  No, it's not exactly why they do it. They, they expect it to be on a level, a level spot.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  They'd prefer it, but they're, they're set up to go. Otherwise you just wouldn't be able to adjust the monitor.

• 42:12Speaker 04

  That one's probably the most annoying so far. Yeah. I'm not.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Who's got time to get down, get out your desk leg toolkit and pick that? Charlie, Charlie, ahoy, gusto to you.

• 42:25Speaker 04

  Ahoy, boy.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  And hopefully rage to Andy. Yes, I think we might have rage here because I consider myself fairly fast and loose, but this even got me. So we'll see how we go. Um, so I've got a colleague at work who, she is very fast and loose and certainly puts me to shame. Um, and the other week it was spicy hot. She, um, we take a lot of clients out for dinner and things like that. And she's been at the company for over 15 years and has just never, ever learnt her PIN number to her corporate card, never reset it, never bothered. Um, normally not an issue. You can, you can just tap away things under a hundred bucks. Hmm. Uh, for most of us, you consider a bit of an issue when the bill is $2,000 and in front of the clients, she just asked, can you just do multiple $99 transactions?

• 43:10Speaker 03

  I'll just tap away at it, thanks. Twenty, twenty ninety-nine dollar transactions. And then I guess number 21 is to just clean up the rest. Yeah, a little tip at the end.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. So we just sat there and witnessed it for about 10 minutes. Beautiful.

• 43:25Speaker 04

  Oh, Charlie, I love that. I mean, I hate it, but.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  The system works. He's, that is a great workaround.

• 43:31Speaker 04

  All right, Charlie.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  I feel like we've got one more. Alex, ahoy to you.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Ahoy, boys. How are we?

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, good. We're very good, mate.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Okay. So I drive a 2001 Holden Commodore. And you guys might remember in the early 2000s, if you let the battery in your car go flat, you have to put a radio code in.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  Oh, don't remember, in your car radio?

• 43:52Speaker 02

  In the car radio, yes.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Like it resets it.

• 43:54Speaker 04

  It was like an anti-def.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, security.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  Device. So people that had to take it out, once you, once you reinserted it in your stolen vehicle or someone else.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, gotcha. We're doing the car radios where you can detach the face, one of those.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Yes, that's right. Yeah. With buttons.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  So I lost my radio code. I don't know where it is.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  Sure. I mean, it's been 25 years.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  But I, uh, I actually worked out that if you click the number one four times in a row, the radio will come into a, like a test phase. So the test phase lasts for about three minutes before the radio then shuts off. So while I'm driving, I can listen to my radio for about three minutes and then it's back to nothing. So I'll just click the number one four times in a row. Each time it shuts off until I'm at my destination.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, chump up credits.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  So.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Does it, does it remember your presets? Like, do you, or, or do you have to retune the radio quickly to find your favorite?

• 44:51Speaker 02

  It does remember my presets luckily.

• 44:53Speaker 04

  Right. So you, you, you come straight back to where you were. You just missed, you know, say the middle aid of Ariana Grande's latest song, and then you're straight back in there.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  That's right. Yeah.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Do you ever take, like, if it's hitting ads or something, do you ever go, well, I'll just give it a rest and I'll come back in a few minutes? Cause I don't need to, I don't need to dip back in for three minutes of ads.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, you can do that. I can, I can sit in silence for a few minutes and then click my ones and we're back into it.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  It's, it's pretty good. I mean.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  Not good.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  It's not a bad workaround though. Like what a hack.

• 45:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. Alex, that would absolutely infuriate me. Uh.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  I don't know. I wouldn't notice after a while.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  Thank you, mate.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  It's about, it's about four clicks to get to work.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  All right.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, there you go. Four times, mate. Versus sitting in the car, figuring out the PIN, that could take years. Well, and he's just on his way. Go and yell, no one's got time for that. Love it.

• 45:53Speaker 04

  Hame, from time to time, we like to put someone in our team under the microscope.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Information is power and we like to use that power responsibly, but to, I was gonna say, do you need to hear their side?

• 46:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Not, not often. Often it's just to make them hear what we heard.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  Exactly. Let's do it again.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  You're at the microscope right now. A powerful microscope. We're all gonna be under a microscope. You know what? I think, I think maybe it's time you put. Jack? Under the microscope. Oh no, Jack with the head shake. He knows the switching rule has been pulled. It's not Darcy under the microscope.

• 46:30Speaker 04

  I think he knew when we didn't set up another microphone for Darcy.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:33Speaker 04

  Cause you're always so good at that. And then I said, do you need Darcy's microphone? You go, nah, we'll just share one. The first time you've ever been blasé about something on the podcast.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  Can't see us needing it.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  We encourage anyone.

• 46:49Speaker 04

  Of our listeners, when they see us in the wild, when they see something quirky, report back. And, uh, and then we can talk about it because obviously we can put up a front, public facing when we do our shows, et cetera. But when someone sees it in the wild, maybe they're seeing our true selves and it's nice to report on. Jack, this one came in from Jash and he said, I think we need to put Jack under the microscope.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  Okay. Would you like, do you know what this is about, Jack? Would you like to admit ahead of schedule?

• 47:19Speaker 04

  I'll be doing no self-reporting.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  But I can't even think of what it might be.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  He says, I was listening to the latest pod where Darcy was under the microscope and he referred to Andy and Jack as both being dog owners. And it reminded me of the time when I saw Jack walking his dog.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  I think you boys will both be interested, microscope worthy.

• 47:43Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 47:45Speaker 04

  What? I always pick up the poo. It better not be a poo.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Jash says, I was kicking the footy around with my dog when I noticed Jack arrived the park with his dog, walking at a very slow pace.

• 47:57Speaker 04

  That's all right. You can meander with your dog. There's, you're not in a rush.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  He looked like an extremely disgruntled dog owner.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  A few minutes later, I noticed that Jack and his dog were no longer at the park.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  I thought to myself, that was a quick walk.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  But didn't think much of it. Until five minutes later, I see Jack walk back into the park without his dog, but now with a golf club and a handful of golfers.

• 48:36Speaker 04

  After the shortest of dog walks I've ever seen, Jack dropped his dog off at home at sea and came back to practice chipping, hitting golf balls at a public football oval full of kids and dogs for the next 30 plus minutes.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  Wow. Time Luna would have loved to have spent chasing sticks.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  It's her own fault. If she didn't chase the golf balls, we could both spend the day down there together. But she tries to chew on them and then she wrecks them and it's, so I can't take her. So.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  So she gets five minutes. Like, like people in maximum security prisons get more yard time than that.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  It happens like this every time. It's like, I'm gonna go chip some golf balls. Then I'm leaving the house and she knows, you know how dogs just know your energy when you're leaving the house and going to the park. And so I'm like, well, you can't come because you chew the golf balls.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  I don't understand you.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Let's, I'll take you for a quick brisk walk.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  But you gotta have a look at where.

• 49:34Speaker 04

  I'll take you, take you to Disneyland. We're not going in. Just look at all the other kids having a ball.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  I'll just do a selfie, send it to Bianca and then that's, then I can tick, walk the dog off my list of my strenuous workday and then I'll practise my short game.

• 49:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  Is this a regular occurrence, Jack?

• 49:50Speaker 04

  I'm not, I'm not chipping the golf balls as much now, but she, now that we've got a different problem, as my son's getting to an age where we can go and kick the footy, of course she sees that we pick up the ball, she runs to the front door, she thinks she's coming. I have to go give her another fake walk, come back in, get the footy, get my son and we go over and kick the footy or else she just chews it.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  So, but why take you to the park then? Just to look at it all?

• 50:13Speaker 04

  No, she gets like, we get like, I do, I try and do one lap of the oval.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  Try, I try to do one lap.

• 50:21Speaker 03

  Man, if they invent dog VR goggles, she's in big trouble. Just be like, all right, here we go. I'm just gonna pop these on. You can imagine what it's like to go for a walk. Wouldn't this be fun to have an owner that takes you around?

• 50:31Speaker 04

  I wish, I honestly, I think about it every, every day almost that if you could just understand, you would get so much park time if you didn't grab the ball. And we've tried taking other balls, but she wants the one that you're playing with. So you can take a tennis ball, throw it to her, she'll come and bring it back to you. But then as soon as you start kicking the footy, she wants the footy.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's her fault.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Do, does she get other walks?

• 50:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, sometimes I just take her on a dog walk, but if it's, but a lot of the time she, she just gets a show.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  No, the other day she gets a really long one.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  A dog only walk.

• 51:12Speaker 04

  Yesterday she got a big 40, chunky 45 minuter.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:16Speaker 04

  Chunky to make up for the last four months.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  She was on a heart attack, 45 minutes.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.