Giggling about crying, cocktail parties, croque madames

Paige is recapping her birthday party and Hannah is starting a new trend.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 0:44Paige DeSorbo?

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• 1:22Paige DeSorbo?

  View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details. This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afegato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock, whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afegato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day,

• 2:07Paige DeSorbo?

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• 2:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Carrie, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:42Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my gastrointestinal gigglers. I just want to give a formal apology because I did get, actually not that many, but enough that I was aware, some messages that said, hey Hannah, we love you. We love the work you do, especially in the arts and in STEM. But can you quiet down with the poop talk? We've had enough, three episodes in a row. And I realized I want to apologize because I did take it too far, even though I want to let people know Giggly Squad is an open-door policy. When you have a problem, bring it forward. When you have to cough, cough at any time.

• 3:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:22Hannah Berner?

  I like being open and honest with the gigglers, and this just happened to be my journey the last month.

• 3:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I have the flu, babe. I know. It's so sad. Do you want to know what it is? I have one really weird tell since childhood when I know I'm getting really sick, and it's so bizarre. My teeth hurt.

• 3:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, my teeth will feel sore.

• 3:53Paige DeSorbo?

  And when I was, this is so weird. This is so weird.

• 3:57Hannah Berner?

  My bones start to chill.

• 4:00Hannah Berner?

  The cauldron becomes warmer. My skin becomes colder. You're such a little witch.

• 4:10Hannah Berner?

  She's like, my fingernails start to turn yellow.

• 4:15Hannah Berner?

  The hairs on the back of my necks start to curl. My eyelashes become straight.

• 4:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, Hannah, no, you're so good at that. You have to play a witch. If anyone's making a Halloween movie, which actually, let's make more that are Halloween Town-esque.

• 4:34Hannah Berner?

  It just means you're being bitchy witches all over.

• 4:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Disney, give us a call after this. We've got some ideas. We've got some real ideas.

• 4:46Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I don't mean to make fun of your, like, your pain. What's going on, babe?

• 4:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I worked myself. I had a party. I threw a party.

• 4:58Hannah Berner?

  Which, to us, is actually the biggest job in the world, like, the hardest job in the world. Like, shooting a music video, going on tour, throwing a party? That takes another level of exhaustion.

• 5:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, I can do MSG.

• 5:13Hannah Berner?

  Four times.

• 5:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Four times. A cocktail party.

• 5:17Hannah Berner?

  A two-hour small talk get-together.

• 5:20Paige DeSorbo?

  You got me fucked up. Well, honestly, I wasn't even going to do anything for my birthday because I'm real, for how much I love attention and I love outfits, I don't really ever care about my birthday. Like, I don't remember.

• 5:33Hannah Berner?

  Wait, sorry, Joe's texting me.

• 5:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Saying what?

• 5:36Hannah Berner?

  Yep, that's what I thought. Sorry, just some fantasy football.

• 5:41Paige DeSorbo?

  All of Joe's gifts to me for my birthday were tour-themed.

• 5:47Hannah Berner?

  My sweet, sweet.

• 5:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was so sweet because I was like...

• 5:54Hannah Berner?

  He wanted to feel like there was a purpose to the gifts.

• 5:58Paige DeSorbo?

  It was just so sweet and I...

• 6:00Hannah Berner?

  I don't want to get him in trouble, but I'm in, like, full insider trading mode because he's a sports agent. So when I'm putting together my fantasy league, like, he knows things. So I'm like, is so-and-so playing?

• 6:12Paige DeSorbo?

  All my DMs recently have been like, hey Paige, yeah, love your work. Can you ask Joe? If he thinks that this guy is going to play. And sometimes he is around and I'm like, hey, quick question for you. Do you think? And he will look at me and be like, I don't know, who's asking?

• 6:30Hannah Berner?

  I know. He's like, actually, you're going to have to pay for that information. No, a girl messaged me and was like, can you send Joe the, like, my lineup? So I sent it to him and he responded immediately. And I think she ended up, like, one of the players didn't do as well as she thought, and she's like, tell Joe. And I'm like, okay, you can't. He's actually the psychic of the gigglers for fantasy football.

• 6:51Paige DeSorbo?

  He's a meteorologist of sports, okay? And sometimes he's wrong and oops.

• 6:56Hannah Berner?

  Well, yeah, because he's not like a full witch, like Paige.

• 7:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 7:01Hannah Berner?

  It's literally clinical. My text him, I'm like, will Malik be playing on Sunday? And he's like, yes, just a rest day. I said, okay, tell him to stop being dramatic. He goes, okay.

• 7:15Hannah Berner?

  Like, he's exhausted.

• 7:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I woke up this morning and I was just like, I'm so sick. Like, I need to lay in the bed and it's raining out for a full 24 hours. Like, my teeth hurt. And he was like, okay, I don't know what that means.

• 7:33Hannah Berner?

  He's like, go to the dentist?

• 7:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know that there's a secret medicine tea you can get from Starbucks that's not on the menu? But you have to do it through drive-through, so he's going to go and get it for me. It's called a medicine ball.

• 7:47Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 7:48Paige DeSorbo?

  It's life-changing.

• 7:49Hannah Berner?

  No, getting a medicine ball is like a thing that you could ask. I think you could even ask for it in like a bodega.

• 7:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, he tricked me. I thought, I thought it was like the secret menu off.

• 8:01Hannah Berner?

  I think it's like lemon ginger cayenne, I think.

• 8:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, but I need it.

• 8:06Hannah Berner?

  The one thing I do love for us is like, we are so incorrect on so many things on the pod, but no one can accuse us of using AI. Like, we're not using AI and we are out here not knowing things, and it's freeing and beautiful.

• 8:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, also, we never claimed that you were going to, like, learn something from this podcast. Like, that's on you. Like, go listen to an expert.

• 8:30Hannah Berner?

  Is me forgetting a word, Paige obviously not knowing the word that I'm imagining, and then you guys knowing the word, but you're like yelling it at your phone. And that's Giggly Squad and its community.

• 8:43Paige DeSorbo?

  It's fun. It's interactive.

• 8:44Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, literally.

• 8:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, back to my party for a second.

• 8:47Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:49Paige DeSorbo?

  At one point, I looked around and I go, all I did was invite all of Hannah's friends.

• 8:57Hannah Berner?

  Well, I think over the years, you know, like, who shows the fuck up for me? And they were texting me. They were like, I feel like I'm in like a co-parenting relationship where it's like, I'm with Paige this weekend.

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  Wait, so for people who don't know, I was not there. Everyone thought we just didn't get a photo together, which totally has happened every time.

• 9:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 9:20Hannah Berner?

  But I just flew back from Asia and went to Miami. And then Paige was like, by the way, having a party in New York, obviously you're not coming. And I was like, okay.

• 9:30Hannah Berner?

  And then I get a FaceTime from Grace.

• 9:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Who was at the party.

• 9:33Hannah Berner?

  With all my best friends.

• 9:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally all your best friends.

• 9:40Hannah Berner?

  Well, how were they? Did they behave?

• 9:42Paige DeSorbo?

  They were so nice. Ally Coburn and my dad talked the entire time, I feel like.

• 9:46Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God. She loves that your dad loves her.

• 9:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Stuart and Gabby came together.

• 9:52Hannah Berner?

  Amazing, because they are a comedic duo and they work best when they're riffing off each other.

• 9:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it felt very like, I don't know, it felt like my hot sisters, like... No, it was really like the hot girls from the other school came to my party. That's how I felt.

• 10:09Hannah Berner?

  Yes, but also, like, if you don't have professional comedians at your party, like, the vibes are not going to be the same.

• 10:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was half-professional comedians.

• 10:17Hannah Berner?

  And that's the kind of party you're throwing. It's basically hiring clowns, but like, hot. Hot clowns for your party.

• 10:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Hot clowns with boob jobs.

• 10:25Hannah Berner?

  Actually, I think Stuart and Gabby should start getting hired for your party.

• 10:30Paige DeSorbo?

  They would be phenomenal.

• 10:31Hannah Berner?

  Phenomenal. They will, you know, when everyone's like not sure what to talk about? They will get the bit going. They'll do callbacks. They're running around. They're getting people involved. They're doing crowd work with people they don't know. It's incredible.

• 10:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I had one drink and I promised Haley she could sing at MSG.

• 10:47Hannah Berner?

  You got me in trouble because Haley calls me. She goes, Paige said I could sing at MSG. And I was like, okay, well, that's definitely a conversation. And she's like, oh, so you're not letting me? I'm like, no, no, no, I fully will let you. I just want to like, I'm putting the show together right now and I don't know what minute that would affect.

• 11:05Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, are we talking Whitney Houston? Like, what are we, what is the vision? I told her she definitely could do the girls' dance. Getting the microphone to her, that's a big, a big deal.

• 11:18Paige DeSorbo?

  If you come to my party and you ask any, I'm like, yeah, you came to my party. Like, I'll give you my first child. Like, I don't know.

• 11:25Hannah Berner?

  Haley's doing 30 minutes at MSG, actually.

• 11:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, what if we just brought the whole Smami squad?

• 11:32Hannah Berner?

  Hilly's fully pregnant, by the way, you guys. Just letting you know.

• 11:38Hannah Berner?

  She has a baby, like, oh, hand coming out of her vagina and she's like, I'm dancing at MSG, which is womanhood.

• 11:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I did another thing that I was like, I don't know if this is weird or not, but whatever.

• 11:51Paige DeSorbo?

  There are like some girls on the internet that I've never met before, but I'm just like,

• 11:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I think you're pretty and I like watching your videos and I feel like I, I don't feel like I'm so much older than them, but I know that I'm older than them.

• 12:07Hannah Berner?

  But you like their work.

• 12:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm just like, oh, I like, I get excited for them. I'm like, I like, I love when they put on a good outfit and they like, show me that they're going out to dinner. I'm like, yeah, girls, go.

• 12:18Hannah Berner?

  You wanted your party to be aesthetically pleasing and you saw people that would look good on the grid. Let's be so fucking real. And now I'm wondering why I wasn't asked to your party.

• 12:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, you're beautiful. Come to my birthday.

• 12:31Hannah Berner?

  You go, this Daphne outfit would look amazing on you.

• 12:35Paige DeSorbo?

  So there's like a couple of girls that I follow on TikTok and Instagram and stuff. And so when they came into my party, I go, I hope you don't think it's so weird that I invited you to my birthday party, but I, but I like you. And they were like, oh my God, no, we don't think it's weird at all. So that eased my anxiety a little bit.

• 12:52Hannah Berner?

  Everyone looks so good.

• 12:54Paige DeSorbo?

  At one point you did text me and say, or no, you commented and said a lot of blondes.

• 12:59Hannah Berner?

  Everyone's thinking it. And, well, I was doing my scroll and you, and you're sandwiched between them, like loving life.

• 13:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, another tactic, I needed to be the only brunette.

• 13:15Hannah Berner?

  I was like, she's in enemy territory by her own choice.

• 13:19Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to flip the squetch, flip the script.

• 13:21Hannah Berner?

  Actually, Ciara commented too, was like, yeah, that's what I was noticing. Well, Gabby, who's blonde, talks about blonde erasure. Apparently that's a thing. A lot of girls going brunette and she's afraid that blondes are like going extinct. I think this is not on my algorithm. This isn't my thing. I mean,

• 13:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Dare I argue that I think that a lot of blondes get more misogyny thrown at them?

• 13:49Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 13:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So, you know, I also wanna bring awareness to the blonde.

• 13:53Hannah Berner?

  I also would say in general, like natural blondes are a minority. So like a lot of girls come 30s, they're like, I'm not being about a blonde anymore. I'm gonna embrace and actually match my eyebrows.

• 14:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of blonde, Ash came to my party.

• 14:07Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm so jealous.

• 14:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, ah.

• 14:11Hannah Berner?

  She just did Fallon.

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I know. Oh, wait, I, she walks in, I hug her and I go, oh my God, did you know your song is on Love is Blind? And she goes, yeah.

• 14:22Hannah Berner?

  Wait, Love is Blind's music this season? They're doing Olivia Rodrigo, they're doing Ash, they're doing somber, like where, the budget's crazy.

• 14:33Paige DeSorbo?

  The budget's crazy, which I don't, if there's one thing in this world, and there's a lot, I don't understand, is what shows have budget for music? One episode of Love Island, I'm like, this episode had to cost, it took $20 million. How did they get all these songs? And like on Dancing with the Stars, they're not using any of the real songs.

• 14:53Hannah Berner?

  No, they have to sing it. And, but I miss the days of like Vanderpump Rules where it's just like, la ba da da da, she's a bad girl, she's a bad girl. Don't mess with her, don't mess with her, she's a bad, bad girl. Back to Ash, I think with musicians and actors, I can be a little more like, um, what's, not sweet, but like, honest. Like I feel like with comics, I like joke a lot, but with a singer, I, I sent her like a corny SDM.

• 15:28Paige DeSorbo?

  What did you say?

• 15:30Hannah Berner?

  I said something like, you're a light and you have to keep shining. But I'm like, she's a singer.

• 15:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause they're like a more, they're more, um, like artistic.

• 15:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And just that they're like serious artists. So I was like, keep shining your light and spreading your joy.

• 15:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Positivity.

• 15:47Hannah Berner?

  Positivity. And she was like so sweet back, but like she's like, looks like Marilyn Monroe.

• 15:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she's so, I just think she's so cool. There's just like something about her aura that just feels very.

• 16:00Hannah Berner?

  She's just a star.

• 16:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Genuine, yeah. And she just feels like she's a star. Like I just, I really like her.

• 16:06Hannah Berner?

  Also, it makes me confused why in all the beauty trends, why fake birthmarks have not

• 16:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Really had a moment?

• 16:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because like, instead of getting filler, I'd rather get like a really conti birthmark that looks like Ash and like differentiate myself from other people.

• 16:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe it will start trending soon. Wait, you might be on to something?

• 16:30Hannah Berner?

  Cause freckles were a thing.

• 16:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. And I feel like that era of outfits is kind of starting to trend a little bit.

• 16:40Hannah Berner?

  Like doing night out and just putting a mole on your face, like, let's go.

• 16:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Even like gilded age outfits, I feel like they could have beauty, beauty marks.

• 16:48Hannah Berner?

  But it's so funny how a beauty mark can be like so regal. It's a thin line between regal and like you have to get that checked.

• 16:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Sorry. Part of Giggly Squad is also like multitasking and playing with your cat whilst recording. Kitty keeps trying to bite me. Kitty?

• 17:06Hannah Berner?

  Well, this is, you're athletic.

• 17:09Hannah Berner?

  It's an athletic feat.

• 17:10Paige DeSorbo?

  She's working out.

• 17:11Hannah Berner?

  No, that's so cool. And you know what that is? Also women supporting other women in separate fields. Comics have to support, singers have to support actors. Like we're all in this together.

• 17:22Hannah Berner?

  Why was there so much discussion about your outfit online? Because?

• 17:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, was there?

• 17:28Hannah Berner?

  No, I was getting.

• 17:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I, wait, I had a 14 hour shooting day yesterday and I have the flu. Wait, I'm gonna cry.

• 17:37Hannah Berner?

  No, I, okay, now I, okay, now I feel like that bad friend. It's like, I, um, fuck what everyone said.

• 17:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, did everyone hate it?

• 17:52Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no. I'm on positive TikTok.

• 17:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm literally crying.

• 17:58Hannah Berner?

  Wait, now I feel so bad. No, no, no.

• 18:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause I think I'm so sick.

• 18:04Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I don't have the capacity for this. No, no, no. Everyone loved it. Paige, everyone loved it. I just saw on Instagram of a gai.

• 18:17Hannah Berner?

  No, she's like, really crying right now. Wait, I've never seen you cry before. This Azara skirt is what, it would be Azara's skirt.

• 18:26Paige DeSorbo?

  It was a dress.

• 18:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, I can't.

• 18:33Hannah Berner?

  I actually saw zero negative feedback.

• 18:37Hannah Berner?

  I just got a TikTok from a giggler saying like, how dare anyone not like Paige's dress? She's perfect. And so I never actually saw anyone not like it. I think the gigglers were just standing 10 toes down.

• 18:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm just, I'm kidding.

• 19:00Hannah Berner?

  Guys, we are fragile in this.

• 19:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm hot and then I'm cold and.

• 19:09Hannah Berner?

  No, I think you have a fever, babe.

• 19:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think I have a fever.

• 19:13Hannah Berner?

  Before you blackout, I want to talk about Love is Blind.

• 19:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I need to say about my dress really quickly.

• 19:20Hannah Berner?

  Yes, I'm just kidding.

• 19:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, the, I saw it on Zara like a month ago and I was like, ah, that's the coolest dress ever. Also, H and M is like really popping off right now. Um,

• 19:35Paige DeSorbo?

  whatever. And I saw it and I was like, I don't know where, I don't know. Fix your crown.

• 19:41Hannah Berner?

  She's like, she has this really good stuff right now while wiping her tears.

• 19:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was like, I don't know where I'm gonna wear, but I'm gonna wear it somewhere. And then when Daphne was like, we have to do something for your birthday. That's when we're launching black. I was like, oh my God, I actually will because I have the perfect outfit.

• 19:59Hannah Berner?

  I actually would have loved that with like a diamond necklace for Radio City last year. Like that could have been iconic for like,

• 20:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it was giving like a little old school. I mean, did I like giving Zara $350?

• 20:14Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because I feel like that's like not, that's, you go to Zara for the opposite, but whatever.

• 20:18Hannah Berner?

  10 years ago, did Zara even have stuff for $350?

• 20:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No. But now they do like these collabs with like random, not random, but like different designers and brands and stuff. And it was like a collab, but I forgot who it even was.

• 20:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And it was sickening. It was, well, okay, can we also say before this turns again, um, we got on and Grace and I were like, Paige, you looked so fucking beautiful at your birthday party. The outfit, the glam, the lighting, like something about it was just regal. And Paige was like, can you wait till we start recording? Thank you. And then she put on this whole act, tears.

• 20:59Hannah Berner?

  She's like, give it a moment.

• 21:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Actress.

• 21:02Hannah Berner?

  No, that was really good. And for anyone who's worried about our show coming up, that was an Oscar performance by Paige DeSor, but no, she has the flu and she's actually like really fragile right now.

• 21:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm really fragile.

• 21:12Hannah Berner?

  No, but this is what happens when you over-socialize. You crack.

• 21:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. No, I just had two filming days this week that were super long and I am such a sensitive, I have such a sen, this is what I'm saying. I need to build my stamina up for tour. I'm not gonna make it. That's why I've been lifting weights. I've been trying to like go on walks, eat healthy. And then I got taken out by the, well, I've also had a stuffy nose for three weeks. I wanna die.

• 21:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 21:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And then I, this week I really, I pushed it to the limit.

• 21:43Hannah Berner?

  You pushed it? And there's something about like when you have to be on, there's one thing where like you're working, like when you have like email days or editing days, but when you have to be on camera and like, it takes a different level of like guttural effort to like shine on camera that like you only have so much battery for.

• 22:03Paige DeSorbo?

  You only have so many tries until they're like, you suck. So like when you're filming something, they're like, and right here would be a perfect time to say something hilarious. And I'm like, ah, okay.

• 22:14Hannah Berner?

  Well, yeah, you're like riffing, doing full improv in your interviews and stuff.

• 22:24Paige DeSorbo?

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• 23:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Okay, so I have this thing and in my brain I categorize it as small luxuries I can't live without. So whether that's like a really big scented candle, a really good moisturizer that's maybe a little expensive but changes my life, or cozy robes.

• 23:53Paige DeSorbo?

  The best holiday finds are often the ones you least expect. At Ross, discover unexpected treasures that make gifting, decorating, and celebrating the season even more special. Find the perfect holiday outfit with a standout coat, stylish boots, or a little sparkle that makes getting dressed feel like part of the celebration. Ross makes the holidays accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only. You know, I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing.

• 24:38Paige DeSorbo?

  My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. Absolutely love McDonald's. And for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 25:13Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 25:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.

• 25:29Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 25:30Paige DeSorbo?

  It's honey.

• 25:31Hannah Berner?

  Honey. And mine's black.

• 25:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 25:44Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit, not ruining the outfit. But also I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 25:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 25:58Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 26:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 26:00Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the gigglers a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 26:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Very important because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no.

• 26:13Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 26:13Paige DeSorbo?

  And I love that it has these things for your hands because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 26:21Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 26:31Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you.

• 26:36Paige DeSorbo?

  What did you want to say about Love is Blind? Because I wanted to say one other thing too.

• 26:40Hannah Berner?

  So I watched the finale.

• 26:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I actually haven't even watched it.

• 26:45Hannah Berner?

  I watched the finale. I guess I shouldn't tell people what happened. It's like too soon.

• 26:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Why?

• 26:50Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 26:50Paige DeSorbo?

  It's Friday. It came out on Wednesday.

• 26:53Hannah Berner?

  Everyone hates each other.

• 26:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:56Hannah Berner?

  Obviously, Wilney and...

• 26:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, who got married?

• 27:00Hannah Berner?

  Well, let me tell you last.

• 27:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 27:03Hannah Berner?

  Wilney and Wilson never liked each other. Like the second they saw each other, they didn't like each other. So the breakups are so awkward because they're like, we're not doing this, right? And then the person's like, yeah, we're not. I'm like, okay, then why did we film the last, whatever, get screen time?

• 27:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Well, he, his girl, the one, the girl he actually really liked, I think she left, right? And then he picked her. Yeah, from that moment, we knew that was good.

• 27:27Hannah Berner?

  From the very beginning, she was like, you don't, you didn't really pick me, did you? And he's like, no, I did. And then obviously the pirate guy who lives on a boat.

• 27:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait. I saw on TikTok that he worked on like yacht week boats. Yacht week was a very pivotal moment in my twenties. I am like, I know exactly this man now.

• 27:52Hannah Berner?

  Tell us.

• 27:53Paige DeSorbo?

  He's like, what, and this is a term my dad says, he's a good time Charlie.

• 27:58Hannah Berner?

  Did you just call him a whore?

• 28:03Hannah Berner?

  You're like, he wears little tight shorts at the gym.

• 28:04Paige DeSorbo?

  He's a good time Charlie. No, like you can tell he's like all about having fun and he's not trying to slow down. Like that's why he's still wants to work on these boats and be away for however many months.

• 28:15Hannah Berner?

  He was one of those guys that was too calm in the process that you're like, either he's an angel or like he is deviant and actually like completely removed.

• 28:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:25Hannah Berner?

  Like he never got upset, he never got worked up and you were like, is he calm? Or is he like evil?

• 28:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I feel like he had no intention of really getting married unless someone who he didn't have to bend anything for came along. And that's just like not realistic.

• 28:42Hannah Berner?

  And he didn't choose the one Serbian girl who was like, I'm down to party.

• 28:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought more was gonna happen when they saw each other for the first time.

• 28:51Hannah Berner?

  Well, she actually was like, fuck you, dude. You didn't pick me and I'm not like, because it is kind of like fun to be like, yeah, he didn't see me. And now that he saw me, might like me. But it's actually way more hurtful for someone to be like, I learned all about your life and I don't fuck with you. Like, for a guy to do that and then be like, wait, I didn't know you have kind of nice lips. I'd be like, oh, fuck yourself. Like, you've learned my soul and you were like, meh, pass.

• 29:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Nevermind.

• 29:23Hannah Berner?

  Check please.

• 29:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 29:25Hannah Berner?

  But I think the pirate guy is a learning lesson in what I've experienced with relationships where in the very beginning, you ever talk to your friend and she's like, he's great, but there's this one little thing, but like whatever. That one little thing that annoys you in the beginning will always be the downfall of the relationship.

• 29:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Hundred percent.

• 29:47Hannah Berner?

  And whatever, like even like a nay how in the very beginning be like, yeah, my parents don't approve, but like we'll figure it out. You get to the altar, she's like, my parents aren't here and they don't approve of you.

• 29:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 29:59Hannah Berner?

  And then with Blake, they're like, but how would we actually live a life if you're gone like for six months out of the year? And he's like, we'll figure it out.

• 30:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I'm just thinking of like applying that rule to my life. And it's in my twenties, you're saying it's like these small things. And in my twenties, I'm like, okay, he's a drug addict, but like, I feel like we'll figure that out. Like he's, he's like a really intense alcoholic, like.

• 30:28Hannah Berner?

  He's gone through a lot and he's strong from it. And it's like, he's still in the throes of addiction, babe.

• 30:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:33Hannah Berner?

  Um, and then even the other relationship that got married was John and Sarah, who was the one in the very beginning that she's like, do you believe in abortion? And he's like, maybe if she's like 12.

• 30:48Paige DeSorbo?

  12?

• 30:50Hannah Berner?

  And she was like, well, obviously if she's 12.

• 30:54Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like, actually, don't believe in modern healthcare. She's like, cool, cool, cool. I'm a nurse.

• 30:59Hannah Berner?

  No, he literally was like, I don't believe in science. I can be convinced, but I don't believe in science. And she's like, I am a scientist.

• 31:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 31:08Hannah Berner?

  Um, but we could probably figure this out because I like that you're open to hearing me. So that's, I have no faith in that relationship.

• 31:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, me neither. And the reunion is next week.

• 31:21Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. So she goes.

• 31:23Paige DeSorbo?

  So we'll see.

• 31:23Hannah Berner?

  He doesn't believe in science, but then he got diagnosed with MS and had to go to the hospital and was like, maybe science is on to something.

• 31:34Hannah Berner?

  And Love is Blind is so devious cuz like right when they're getting their makeup done to walk down the altar, they have the family members ask like the most intense questions, like the girl's like, does he believe in women's rights though?

• 31:52Paige DeSorbo?

  He doesn't.

• 31:52Hannah Berner?

  And something pissed me off, I think it was the dad who said it's just gonna be so great when you see your wife walk down the aisle and you realize she's yours. I didn't like that.

• 32:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, wait. Oh, my god.

• 32:05Hannah Berner?

  I didn't like that at all. I'm like, you don't own her. She's not yours. It was a very like, I didn't like the verbiage. And also reality TV, you never know, like you say stupid shit and people could take it and go with it forever.

• 32:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. He could have meant like that, that's your wife for the rest of your life. Like, he could have meant it in a sweet way, but yeah.

• 32:22Hannah Berner?

  But it was like one of many comments that were like along those lines. And I just feel like Sarah is an angel. I just feel like Sarah. You shouldn't feel like you have to conform so much to a man. There's too many men to settle for a guy that's injecting raw milk and like doesn't believe in vaccines until it helps him.

• 32:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know if you get more cynical as you get older, but like as I get older, I actually don't think you should have to compromise anything. Like, no.

• 32:53Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 32:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, no. Like, major, big things?

• 32:57Hannah Berner?

  No. No.

• 32:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, what then? What are we doing? I'll go find someone else.

• 33:01Hannah Berner?

  Well, Aneha is, was really hilarious because her sister comes in while she's getting makeup done, and her sister's like, I don't feel good about this. I don't thi- everyone else is like, whatever you go with, we support you, we believe in you, we're here for you. The sister's like, I'm not here for you. Don't love this. Our parents don't love this.

• 33:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is how I think a sister should act.

• 33:28Hannah Berner?

  Well, when cameras are on, people go two types of ways. They either go full, like, let me just like finish this filming and do what needs to be done and then I'll deal with it later. And then some people are like, I actually have to speak up right now, even though I could look like a really bad villain. And the whole time, they're cutting back to the sister. Like, the sister just put everything on the table and was like, I don't fuck with this.

• 33:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I was just looking for my Vicks. I wasn't trying to not listen to you.

• 33:55Hannah Berner?

  No, it's okay. It's, it's, I know how important your Vicks is.

• 33:59Paige DeSorbo?

  It's really important to me and I don't know.

• 34:00Hannah Berner?

  You and Vic are in a very serious relationship right now.

• 34:02Paige DeSorbo?

  It's in my bed somewhere, but I don't know.

• 34:05Hannah Berner?

  So, Aneha basically gives this long speech about how great he is. And then she says no. And Cam looks like hurt, which was confusing for me cuz I was like, y'all? Y'all have been fighting nonstop.

• 34:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:21Hannah Berner?

  So he was like hurt, but I think his thing was like, okay, now we're breaking up. So then she, after she says no, they come back together later on and she's like, what's wrong?

• 34:34Hannah Berner?

  And he's like, yeah, I'm kind of upset. And she's like, why?

• 34:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I think she's like, sweet. Sometimes she does this like in, like, childlike.

• 34:46Hannah Berner?

  I think she's anxious. She has bad anxiety and that's like how she tries to like soften. You know? But like, it was just so funny cuz then he can't communicate. He can't be like, you just broke up with me on national television. She's like, you're acting weird. And he's like, yeah, he doesn't know how to talk. So he's like bubbling like, yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't know.

• 35:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he doesn't know how to talk.

• 35:11Hannah Berner?

  Why are you acting weird? So you're watching two people that, it's ironic that like, the communication style. I thought of something for Love is Blind that I think would be good. I love her. I'm so deep in Love is Blind right now, but she basically was like the Cam in the pods that I fell in love with, who was open and talkative and honest. Like, the second we were out of the pods, he like clammed up. I feel like instead of putting them at the altar, even though like it is good TV, I think it should end with them back in the pods and having to talk to each other to be like, do we wanna continue this relationship or not?

• 35:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, that's very creative. I like that.

• 35:47Hannah Berner?

  Just my producer brain. I just feel like I wanna put them back in the pods after experiencing everything to be like, how different is this conversation now?

• 35:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I really like that. I like that a lot.

• 35:59Hannah Berner?

  Thanks. Because I'm like, is that the same guy you fell in love with?

• 36:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:05Hannah Berner?

  Oh, and then Blake, when they break up, cuz she's like, you're gonna be gone for six months, this isn't gonna work out. And he's like, I know. He's then sitting on the kitchen counter, which is weird.

• 36:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, why'd they do that to him? Why'd they put him up there like a little elf on the shelf? Why'd they do that?

• 36:23Hannah Berner?

  His legs just dangling, like, I couldn't take it seriously. I think it's cuz he, he probably was like, can I just jump up? Like, he doesn't give a fuck. He's like, I don't wanna be on land right now. Can I sit on this counter?

• 36:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No. This is like, sometimes when men put their legs in like very normal positions that like legs go in, it gives me like a major ick. Like, my icks, this is so weird. My icks are around like walking, sitting, anything with your legs, I find I get more icks. And it has to do with their legs. Isn't that weird?

• 37:01Hannah Berner?

  I, I do get icks with how a guy walks. Like, you could tell when they're not athletic by just how they strut. I'm like, why is that foot kinda angled the wrong way?

• 37:13Hannah Berner?

  But when girls have a weird walk, I'm like, she's, she's a dancer.

• 37:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I can tell that you didn't, you, you weren't good at a sport in like high school, college, like, and I, it's kind of an ick to me.

• 37:25Hannah Berner?

  I am kind of obsessed with hands, though. Like, I like them. I don't want them daintier than mine, and mine are already not dainty, so that's, I mean, readily, like 95% of the male population is out.

• 37:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 37:38Hannah Berner?

  I don't like when their nails are not cut cuz I'm like, what are you doing? Just like fucking guillotining girls out here? And I don't like when they look dirty, obviously. I don't like when they look sticky. You just tell when a guy's hands sticky. I don't like clammy cuz that means you're a little nervous, but sticky is like it's crusty.

• 37:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't like when they try and walk really fast, but not run. Like, it's like a, just like a quick little walk. Like, I don't know. There's something, I've seen it. I can't describe it, but I don't like that. I don't like when they cross their legs in certain situations. Some situations, I'm like, okay, I get it, but like, it's the way they do it.

• 38:17Hannah Berner?

  Some situations, I'm like, daddy, I like when they cross.

• 38:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, sometimes it looks almost, and I hate that I'm gonna say this word. I'm not even gonna say that. I'm actually not gonna say the word. I was gonna say alpha.

• 38:29Hannah Berner?

  No, don't say that.

• 38:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry.

• 38:31Hannah Berner?

  Can you bleep that out, Grace?

• 38:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but like, they look in charge of a situation in some, sometimes.

• 38:40Hannah Berner?

  And they look comfortable with their sexuality. Speaking of sexuality,

• 38:46Hannah Berner?

  did you see Zach and Jen are divorcing?

• 38:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, she's also like going rogue on TikTok and posting like all these videos of like when he was like had done things that are mean to her that she has on camera.

• 38:59Hannah Berner?

  Well, Zach posted a video and he, he was-

• 39:01Paige DeSorbo?

  What'd he say?

• 39:02Hannah Berner?

  So it all started cuz he was kinda getting ahead of it and was like, hey, guys, it's Zach. I'm like so sad that we couldn't make this work cuz like when I met her, she was obviously the one for me. And then like I regret things I've, I've done in the past, but like I think Jen's gonna be super successful and we're gonna co-parent. Everything's for our kids. And he's in like a hoodie and then his like blonde hair is like styled out in the front, like, you know what I'm talking about?

• 39:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:27Hannah Berner?

  So then Jen immediately posts a video of him telling her she needs to do laundry.

• 39:35Paige DeSorbo?

  So wait, I don't know if I saw the laundry one. I saw the one in the kitchen that was like, don't, don't post that. You, you look, well, you're gonna post wearing that?

• 39:45Hannah Berner?

  He said her boobs look saggy. In that kitchen. By the way, I've been jet lagged, so I've been up since 5 a.m. doing this research for the team. Cuz after, imagine having two babies and your husband being like, you're gonna post that your boobs look saggy. By the way, can't see her boobs in it. She's wearing a robe. Also, I'm pretty sure when you have boobs, that's what they do.

• 40:06Hannah Berner?

  No, I know. So people are already out after that, but then she posts, when these girls are doing these get ready with me's, fuck you, Pete Davidson, cuz these get ready with me's, you get a lot of footage, right?

• 40:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:18Hannah Berner?

  So she took an outtake from a get ready with me where he walks behind her and he's like, why is that towel on the floor? And she goes, oh, it's dirty. And he's like, can you put it on the counter? And she's like, okay. And he's like, are there no fresh towels? And she's like, not right now. Like, you can try doing laundry for once. And he like gets mad at her.

• 40:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't get what he does, though. He doesn't work. No, I'm not even like, no, he doesn't work. He like is mad. He has to take care of kids. He obviously doesn't cook or clean. What does he do all day? He was gonna go to medical school. He didn't. He just, what does he do? Like, what fills his days?

• 40:59Hannah Berner?

  Well, now he's like, I'm excited to consider medical school. I also can start a business. Like, he goes, I even talk, we're talking to Netflix about doing like a divorced dads of mom talk. Just kidding. That's a joke.

• 41:13Hannah Berner?

  No, I, part of me feels mean cuz like I, we don't really know what their relationship is, but I don't trust a man who goes on camera. I don't trust a man that goes on camera and tries to like say his side.

• 41:28Hannah Berner?

  If you're going on camera after something happened and trying to say your side, what are you, who did you murder?

• 41:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm too sick.

• 41:36Hannah Berner?

  Who's in your basement? You're too sick for this.

• 41:40Hannah Berner?

  You're at capacity.

• 41:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't get me, don't get me going, please.

• 41:46Hannah Berner?

  Are you crying again?

• 41:49Hannah Berner?

  Um, also Whitney just announced a Hulu show.

• 41:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it. I mean, her revenge is honestly, I'm looking at her, yeah, I'm like, we're all.

• 42:01Hannah Berner?

  Join the team, baby. We love you, baby.

• 42:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like, I feel like we're the same, same, but different.

• 42:07Hannah Berner?

  It's sympathetic.

• 42:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Keep stepping on the next.

• 42:10Hannah Berner?

  I saw like, uh, I love when in hindsight, they can pull, um, footage from when people are like really mean to someone and like, everyone hates that one person. And it was her being like, I'm gonna start my own mom talk. And all the girls are like, you fucking idiot. Like, you stupid, stupid little dumb bitch. And it has, it has like the music and then it cuts to Whitney being like, I got my show.

• 42:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair.

• 43:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Get ready for thicker, fuller hair. Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F O R H E R S dot com slash giggly for hers dot com slash giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only.

• 43:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery.

• 44:41Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 44:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.

• 44:58Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 44:58Paige DeSorbo?

  It's sunny.

• 45:00Hannah Berner?

  Honey. And mine's black.

• 45:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors and I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 45:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, cuz you like a coat to be part of the outfit, not ruining the outfit. But also I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 45:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 45:27Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 45:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 45:29Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the gigglers a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 45:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Very important because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no. And I love that it has these things for your hands because I, I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 45:50Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 46:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 46:41Paige DeSorbo?

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• 47:23Paige DeSorbo?

  That's ritual.com/giggly for 40% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 47:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of like reality TV and you can go back and find clips, have you seen the John and Kate plus eight stuff?

• 47:46Hannah Berner?

  Anything involving children really gets me upset and I can't get myself to click on it.

• 47:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God. Okay. I just think it's so ironic how things happen because what are the chances that the story years ago was that John had cheated on Kate with this girl Haley, when in reality that never happened? And now that Haley woman, Haley Glassman is on Real Housewives of New York City. And the sun just released that book, so he's out doing podcasts. And now John is going on podcasts and being like Ruby Frankie who got, um, arrested for abusing her children. That wasn't even like the tip of the iceberg in our family.

• 48:31Paige DeSorbo?

  And now, I mean, everyone's over 18 now, but it, it's kind of crazy how, how things like re, like happen again. Like this was what, 20 years ago?

• 48:40Hannah Berner?

  Well, cuz when the internet decides something, it's very hard to like get more information out there once people already picked a side. So it's like, once everything settles, then they're able to like get a new narrative kind of thing, but woo, the, oof, the kids on reality TV is tough.

• 49:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 49:02Hannah Berner?

  It's really tough.

• 49:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, you can watch any clip though, from that show and be like, yeah, she's the scariest mom ever.

• 49:09Hannah Berner?

  Was that TLC?

• 49:10Paige DeSorbo?

  But I feel like you knew that then too, yeah.

• 49:13Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah, TLC. I never felt clean after watching a show on TLC. I never was like, oh, I'm closer to God.

• 49:23Paige DeSorbo?

  TLC did put us in weird situations.

• 49:26Hannah Berner?

  When the woman was like eating cat litter, I was like.

• 49:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Gonna say.

• 49:29Hannah Berner?

  No one's calling the hospital.

• 49:32Paige DeSorbo?

  She's eating a couch.

• 49:35Hannah Berner?

  I remember watching My Strange Addiction and turning it off and being like, you know, you're not doing so bad.

• 49:43Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, yeah, we're dealing with some stuff here, but at least the couch isn't looking, looking good right now.

• 49:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You know that like, if you crave things that aren't food, you have certain things wrong with your body?

• 49:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 49:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, like.

• 50:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like.

• 50:02Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, Einstein, yeah.

• 50:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like I just saw a girl that said she craves ice chips and all the comments were like, you might be iron deficient.

• 50:10Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But at least ice chips is water.

• 50:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's true. That's true.

• 50:19Hannah Berner?

  Wait, shout out to reality TV people. I decide yesterday, I'm going to So B Cats to volunteer. Walk in, see this beautiful girl cleaning cat litter. She turns, she goes, hey Hannah, it's Juliet Porter, famously from Siesta Key, who's been a giggler since day fucking one.

• 50:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Sweet girl.

• 50:45Hannah Berner?

  She's like, what's up? And I'm like, uh, hi Juliet Porter. So we're like petting cats, cleaning litter, gossiping.

• 50:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't know she had a cat.

• 50:54Hannah Berner?

  She does, and she wants another one. So obviously I'm the worst person to meet cuz I'm literally like, we're like shopping these rescue cats. I'm like, she's adorable. She would look good here. She's, he's cute.

• 51:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I love Juliet. People, people don't put enough respect on her name for carrying an entire series of a show.

• 51:13Hannah Berner?

  On MTV.

• 51:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't name one other person on that show.

• 51:17Hannah Berner?

  I actually like to her face was just like, you were like the it girl on that show. Like when you walked on the screen, everyone was like, and she arrived.

• 51:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No one had any story without her.

• 51:29Hannah Berner?

  She was 17 when they shot the pilot.

• 51:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's so, she was like the original, she was the original Tell Me Lies girl. Like I, when I watch Tell Me Lies, I think of Juliet.

• 51:41Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, she's stunning, gorgeous, charitable. So shout out to Juliet. We love you. Of course, she's a giggler. I did watch a fucked up documentary.

• 51:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you gonna say the Natalie Holloway one?

• 51:53Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 51:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I only watched the first episode and it's upsetting to me. No, I'm gonna cry.

• 51:59Hannah Berner?

  She's crying again.

• 52:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's so upsetting.

• 52:03Hannah Berner?

  It is, no, it's diabolical. Um, and of course, not giving it away, this already happened, but the, the guy who did it, they didn't get, and then he killed someone else. So.

• 52:19Paige DeSorbo?

  How many episodes are there?

• 52:20Hannah Berner?

  Three.

• 52:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I'm starting the second one. I have a lot to watch today. I'm actually really excited. I like, didn't watch any TV this week.

• 52:28Hannah Berner?

  When you texted me that you're like sick and dying, I was like, you need to shut the light, get kidding, put your shows on.

• 52:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I need 48. Eight hours in the dark.

• 52:36Hannah Berner?

  Seventy-two, I would argue.

• 52:40Hannah Berner?

  I've actually been wasting a lot of time and I'm putting the foot down. Cause I've been wasting a lot of time watching these particular videos. I don't know if they come up across on your algorithm.

• 52:51Hannah Berner?

  It's like a group of people singing and everyone has a number and you gotta pick which person is singing.

• 52:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I have seen those. I love those videos, but they never tell you at the end.

• 53:02Hannah Berner?

  They never tell you. You waste like four minutes watching it. You never know the answer. And I, and now I'm at the point where I'm like, it comes up and I'm like, I can't do this right now.

• 53:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I can't get invested.

• 53:12Hannah Berner?

  I can't, I don't have six minutes on my hands to be bamboozled and led astray. Sometimes it is very obvious and you feel like you're like, I'm better than people I knew who it was.

• 53:23Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're not giving the ending, what's the point of the goddamn video?

• 53:29Hannah Berner?

  I more get a kick out of going scrolling through comments and people are like, it's definitely number six. And you look at six and you're like, it's not number six, you dummy. How could you think it's number six? And then you realize you can't respect what people say online.

• 53:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No, sometimes you'll be looking at something and you'll realize, wow.

• 53:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't take it to heart. That person's stupid. People are stupid.

• 53:51Hannah Berner?

  Do you know there's a site in South Korea where you can go on and place fake orders? Like shopping online just for dopamine hits.

• 54:07Hannah Berner?

  So like, if you.

• 54:09Paige DeSorbo?

  What does that even mean?

• 54:13Hannah Berner?

  Basically they're like, you've been ordering too much shit online.

• 54:16Paige DeSorbo?

  You fake shop on a website and then you click order, but then it never comes.

• 54:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, which I would argue after you get some stuff on Amazon, you forget you ordered it, but you got the hit. Once it comes, you don't even wanna open the box. You don't even know what it was.

• 54:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Send me this website, text it to me.

• 54:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I just wanna see something. I just wanna see something real quick. I just wanna see something.

• 54:43Hannah Berner?

  And you get the order confirmation and it says, thanks for shopping with us. And you feel like you made a decision. You picked something. You feel like you're hunting and gathering. It might be genius. I'm gonna send it to my friend Haley.

• 54:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I like that kind of.

• 54:59Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 55:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna say something, fuck. What were we talking about before that?

• 55:04Hannah Berner?

  Aruba murders, eating couches.

• 55:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, I realized that I'm the type of person that if you give me a birthday gift in that moment, I'm opening it.

• 55:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 55:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm opening it.

• 55:19Hannah Berner?

  For sure.

• 55:19Paige DeSorbo?

  And one of my girlfriends said, oh, you're opening it right now. And I go, you just handed it to me. And she goes, no, I, I like that. But some people like will be like, oh my God, yeah, and I'll open it later. I'm like, yeah, but half the fun of getting someone a gift.

• 55:35Hannah Berner?

  Is pretending you liked it.

• 55:37Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's.

• 55:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No, is seeing their reaction.

• 55:45Hannah Berner?

  So cute. I always wanted a hair beret made out of metal flowers.

• 55:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, and my one girlfriend got me like some stationery and I was like, and like a little booklet.

• 55:58Hannah Berner?

  Everyone got you stationery.

• 56:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I loved it. But what I was gonna say is my hands down favorite gift from any of my friends. Taylor made me pasta with broccoli and then chicken cutlets.

• 56:14Hannah Berner?

  She wins. Cause that's made with love.

• 56:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, and I'm gonna show it because I was eating it last night and I'll never be able to finish it all.

• 56:21Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm. That's made with a town. Oh my God. Why is that?

• 56:27Hannah Berner?

  You just pulled that out from under the covers.

• 56:30Paige DeSorbo?

  It's my birthday, leave me alone. And then she made me like twenty chicken cutlets and it was just the best.

• 56:37Hannah Berner?

  Equivalent of she left a lasagna on your stoop.

• 56:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Yes.

• 56:42Hannah Berner?

  I also, I have presents for you that you haven't gotten, so.

• 56:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, which I'm excited to open. Also, my mom got me like a full mahjong set, so.

• 56:54Hannah Berner?

  Paige, if you wanna get into mahjong, so my mom has apparently gotten like kinda good at it. And she's getting invited to like more advanced mahjong groups and people are starting to talk in the community about like how Lenore is kind of like a killer.

• 57:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 57:08Hannah Berner?

  She's calling me being like, I won the first three games. I tied the second. Like, she's in it.

• 57:13Paige DeSorbo?

  As soon as I get an outfit to match my mahjong set, then we'll start playing.

• 57:18Hannah Berner?

  We need two more people though. You have to have four, so we have to have like a good gossip group.

• 57:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, then we'll have to ho- hold auditions. Off the top of my head, I can't think of anyone.

• 57:29Hannah Berner?

  Imagine we get Paige, we get Joe and Dez to play mahjong with us. That's how my divorce starts, cause I flipped the mahjong table.

• 57:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I can't, I don't think I should open that can of worms. I don't think Joe knows I'm as competitive as I am.

• 57:45Hannah Berner?

  Dez and I played Scrabble and he beat me. But I've, I'm coming to realize I'm like really bad at Scrabble. Cause I'm oh for two this year. So that's on me. But he also walked off. I felt like he, like he didn't say anything, but I felt like he was like.

• 58:02Paige DeSorbo?

  How often are you playing games in your home? Because I feel like that games were talked about more and played more when we were younger. Yeah, but obviously like there's so much social media and like technology now, but like I really think and Josephine is always trying to get me to play games. Like, we're in the middle of something. She's like, let's play cards. I'm like, we're working, Josephine. But like, I do feel like we should start playing more games. I think it adds whimsy.

• 58:28Hannah Berner?

  I think it adds whimsy. Well, our favorite game was on my bachelorette when Haley was like, let's play a church game. And I was like, they're trying to get me to do heroin right now.

• 58:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No, when we, when we just sat and played church games.

• 58:45Hannah Berner?

  At the end of my bachelorette, that was the best time.

• 58:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, I'm happy and not only proud and happy to be a woman. I feel, I feel, I know what my purpose is in life now.

• 58:58Hannah Berner?

  We have community, we have guidance, we have support. Um, I bought Manchala. You know Manchala? I don't know, but it's a game that like I used to play. It has really pretty like rocks. They're not rocks. They're like gems, gemstones. So I'm like, this is aesthetically nice and it's a game, but I have to like convince Dez to play. I wanna play Gin Rami.

• 59:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I'm dying. I'm sorry. It's Manchala.

• 59:27Hannah Berner?

  God.

• 59:30Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the voice of God.

• 59:32Hannah Berner?

  Okay, that just scared the shit out of me. Cause Grace has never once been like, I need to.

• 59:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You pronounced it so egregiously wrong. She was like, and I don't stand for this. This is crazy.

• 59:44Hannah Berner?

  I can't support this podcast.

• 59:48Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's so me. I'm like, never heard of her.

• 59:52Hannah Berner?

  You go Manchala. I think I went to kindergarten with a girl named Manchala.

• 59:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, that just made me hungry, kind of.

• 1:00:00Hannah Berner?

  I love how we've said so many stupid things on this pod and Grace was like, and I've had enough.

• 1:00:07Paige DeSorbo?

  And that was the moment. And then she didn't say anything else ever again. She's like, you're a fucking idiot.

• 1:00:13Hannah Berner?

  I quit. And she's gone.

• 1:00:17Paige DeSorbo?

  This is my two weeks, you stupid bitch. It's really, it's not, this isn't what made her go. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back, you know? There's more to the story here. There's more to the story.

• 1:00:30Hannah Berner?

  The voice. Grace needs a documentary.

• 1:00:35Paige DeSorbo?

  She needs a raise, certainly.

• 1:00:37Hannah Berner?

  I can't breathe.

• 1:00:38Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a personal day or two. Okay, what is the game? I like, we've gone off track.

• 1:00:44Hannah Berner?

  It's like, it's not important.

• 1:00:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:46Hannah Berner?

  It's not important. Um, are you gonna do my gym class? You said you were working out with two days.

• 1:00:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't right now. I can't right now. Are you back on a regular time or what, what's your, what's your?

• 1:00:59Hannah Berner?

  I woke up at six AM, which is like really good for me. I've been waking up at three, which honestly is kinda fucking fun. Like me and Butter were just like doing whatever we wanted. It was still dark out.

• 1:01:12Paige DeSorbo?

  What time we were falling asleep?

• 1:01:14Hannah Berner?

  Finding for my life at like seven thirty PM. My mom's visiting, so she's like making me go out to dinner, which is not making me, like I love going out to dinner. It's my number one hobby. But we're sitting at dinner. I'm like, I'm like Dez at the tasting menu. I have nothing left to give.

• 1:01:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:33Hannah Berner?

  By the way, speaking of restaurants.

• 1:01:36Hannah Berner?

  There are two types of people. People who look at the menu beforehand. People who like to be surprised when they get there and make a game time decision. Who are you? You're too anxious to eat.

• 1:01:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not looking, I'm not looking at the menu before.

• 1:01:51Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'm not. I have type A friends who are like, where are we going? Okay, I planned out what I'm ordering.

• 1:01:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, have I sometimes? Yeah. Like actually, like for my birthday, I did a little staycation. And I went out to dinner and I looked up actually the dessert menu. Because I wanted to see if they had one specific thing I was craving.

• 1:02:15Hannah Berner?

  Also, yes. Also, sometimes I will choose a restaurant based on a dish. Like on Uber Eats. I'm like, I need chicken parmigiana. Let's find which one or whatever.

• 1:02:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Actually, I went to this new restaurant in New York City and it was like so vibey and they have one in Miami and they have one in LA, but the waiters. All wear like nineteen fifty's uniforms and I like that. Like I like and they have like live singers.

• 1:02:42Hannah Berner?

  Of course you choose a restaurant based on the outfits.

• 1:02:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I liked the aesthetic.

• 1:02:46Hannah Berner?

  And you went to Delilah's?

• 1:02:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:49Hannah Berner?

  Cool.

• 1:02:50Paige DeSorbo?

  But in New York, it's called Lady Delilah. Or is it called that everywhere? Well, whatever. But I really, it was really fun and like the perf- I met a ton of gigglers. And like the perfect place where I feel like for drinks with your girlfriends and like you go up to the bar and then if you meet someone, you meet someone, you know?

• 1:03:06Hannah Berner?

  Okay, Love is Blind.

• 1:03:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:08Hannah Berner?

  Also, in my notes, I have to just read this out loud. I wrote, people who love quiches versus people who don't.

• 1:03:16Hannah Berner?

  There's two types of people in this world. Quiche people and non-quiche people.

• 1:03:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know anyone that doesn't like a quiche.

• 1:03:23Hannah Berner?

  But I don't think everyone, if they see a quiche on the menu is or is like See, I'm a quiche girl. If there's a quiche on the menu, I'm getting the quiche Lorraine.

• 1:03:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, oh, I'm getting that quiche Lorraine.

• 1:03:37Hannah Berner?

  Also, it's so feminist that they're always girls' names. It's like quiche Lorraine, quiche Sophia.

• 1:03:43Paige DeSorbo?

  It's very French of them. Oh, I'm also, I'm not a stranger to a croque madame.

• 1:03:48Hannah Berner?

  See, that might have too much.

• 1:03:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Obviously, that's not a quiche, but.

• 1:03:51Hannah Berner?

  But isn't that like a sandwich with like a lot of melted cheese?

• 1:03:55Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like an open-faced sandwich, I think.

• 1:03:58Hannah Berner?

  So lazy sandwich.

• 1:04:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but I love a French breakfast.

• 1:04:02Hannah Berner?

  Imagine if it was like quiche Lorraine, quiche Sophia, quiche Jason.

• 1:04:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Get him out of here.

• 1:04:06Hannah Berner?

  Get him out of here. Burn it.

• 1:04:09Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, it's really easy, I think, to make a quiche.

• 1:04:12Hannah Berner?

  Really? It's, but it's like a pie. It's like layers. Oh, no, are you gonna get into quiche making?

• 1:04:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I just had a thought.

• 1:04:21Hannah Berner?

  You could decorate the, the top of it. That's actually cute as hell.

• 1:04:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I could make, I think I might start getting into the quiche game. I think I could do it.

• 1:04:29Hannah Berner?

  I could see myself getting into the sourdough game because I like getting into things that are popular four years ago.

• 1:04:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:36Hannah Berner?

  I also, after going to Asia, I'm like really inspired to cook all these like Asian dishes, but there's so many spices, I don't even know how to begin to, when you go to the grocery store, like.

• 1:04:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you have to go, I think you have to go to like a special grocery store, get the right, good ones.

• 1:04:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, to get the good, good.

• 1:04:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, so that's what I'm dealing with right now at the moment.

• 1:05:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, I'm gonna try not to cry for the rest of the day and just like maybe take some Madville Tylenol, who knows, what I'll get into.

• 1:05:11Hannah Berner?

  I feel like no man has ever been brought to full tears during a pod and recovered so quickly and seamlessly. So shout out to you. And sorry for being the reason you cried. What did, what did you with Hannah for your birthday? She made me cry. Over an internet rumor?

• 1:05:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm no better than a man when I'm sick and so I'm just like my whole face hurts, my ears hurt, my eyes hurt, like.

• 1:05:37Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm sorry that I even made you podcast. Go to sleep.

• 1:05:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I have a job. Women keep, women just keep pushing through it.

• 1:05:46Hannah Berner?

  We lean in.

• 1:05:47Paige DeSorbo?

  We lean in, we show up.

• 1:05:49Hannah Berner?

  Well, enjoy your pasta in bed. We love you so much. Thanks for giggling and we'll talk to you guys later.

• 1:05:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye.

• 1:05:56Hannah Berner?

  Bye.

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