Hanging Out The Blatter it | The History of The World Cup (Part 4/4)

This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark. Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://surfshark.com/fvh⁠⁠⁠ Introducing Chuck Blazer, the man so bad he's good. The World Cup (Part Four) The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon ⁠⁠patreon.com/fintaylor⁠ Chapters: 00:00 - Hanging Out The Back Of It 05:25 - You May Think So 12:57 - I Am Gay 18:07 - GOAL! 23:00 - Motty Doesn’t Do Chunkies 25:24 - Chuck Blazer 31:43 - Grumpikins Be Grumpikinin 36:48 - Waka Waka 41:01 - Clegmania 44:39 - United Passions 49:40 - Modern Slavery 54:34 - I’m An Ally Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  How many discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi-vehicle discount, safe driver discount, uh, new vehicle discount, storage discount.

• 0:38Speaker 02

  How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usaa.com slash auto discounts. Restrictions apply.

• 0:56Speaker 03

  Welcome back to Business History. It's part four of the World Cup story. Uh, I'm with Horatio Gould.

• 1:04Speaker 03

  As we get into the nineties, uh, the Golatto years.

• 1:07Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  Um, the, the Upshot Boys have left.

• 1:10Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  But the corruption is still here.

• 1:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  Uh, we have, what do we, do we end on, we ended on Italia ninety?

• 1:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  And now we get to USA ninety-four, which England did not qualify for.

• 1:21Speaker 04

  Do we not again?

• 1:22Speaker 03

  No, we didn't qualify ninety-four.

• 1:23Speaker 04

  Even though ninety was one of our best World Cups, probably, might, might be our best World Cup ever, if you think about it.

• 1:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:29Speaker 04

  Apart from sixty-six.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  Now, in nineteen ninety-two, the English Premier League had launched, so suddenly-

• 1:34Speaker 04

  And there's Murdochs doing.

• 1:36Speaker 03

  Murdochs. And you've got a young Richard Keys.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  Who is dominating the airwaves.

• 1:41Speaker 04

  Who's sort of honing his sexism.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:44Speaker 04

  He's, you know, this is, this is, he's young, he's agile, he's physically, he's not like an expert, like he becomes.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  He has not yet reached the, the Rushmore of-

• 1:54Speaker 04

  He's an exciting winger of sexism.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Every week he's hanging out the back of it. He's not yet reached that Maradona-esque-

• 2:00Speaker 04

  But that's a cultured finish of a thirty-four-year-old striker. That's Harry Kane in the Bundesliga, who's lost the pace, but still, at the moment, he's front-footed.

• 2:08Speaker 03

  That's knuckleball. That's, I mean, there's a glorious strike. That, I also, I want to highlight the sheer amount of slouch this guy is operating.

• 2:17Speaker 04

  Yes. He's lost a yard, but he's still got the touch.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  I don't think anyone has ever slouched harder-

• 2:22Speaker 04

  Let's take a look. Dennis Exisman-

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Than Richard Keys with his feet up. Side eye, Jamie Redknapp. Every week, he's hanging out the back of it.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Everyone's so uncomfortable.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  What's it about?

• 2:34Speaker 03

  They're talking about a woman, maybe Louise Redknapp.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Do you turn up?

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Do you smash it?

• 2:48Speaker 04

  Doesn't get what he wants.

• 2:52Speaker 05

  Mind you, that's a stupid question. If you were anywhere near it.

• 2:57Speaker 05

  You'd definitely smash it.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  There he goes.

• 3:03Speaker 05

  You'd go round there any night and found Redknapp hanging out the back of it.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Just an alpha, you know, an alpha in the jungle.

• 3:14Speaker 04

  Hold on, go back, sorry, go back onto that. What is the outfit as well? This is a man who feels so comfortable in his position in punditry. I feel now, apart from maybe Neville, Carragher, it's such a competitive game being a pundit.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  Jeans and shoes.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  This is a guy who, this is like fucking Jacob Rees-Mogg in the House of Commons.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, he is.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean? It's more like, I run this shit, I'm never gonna lose my job, the world's never gonna change.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Stupid question.

• 3:40Speaker 04

  He's got light washed jeans.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Yep, cardigan shirt. And also, the idea of saying stupid question to your own question.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Do you smash it? Stupid question.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  Hanging out the back.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Every now and then, you go back there, Redknapp's hanging out the back of it. A phenomenon.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  Sorry, can we get the, what's Richard Keyes? Where did he grow up? What's his, what's his story?

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Richard Keyes, friend of the pod.

• 4:03Speaker 04

  A life.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  A life.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  A life well-lived.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  He married his first wife, Julia, in 1982. They had two children together. Julia files for divorce in 2016 due to Richard Keyes' alleged infidelity.

• 4:14Speaker 04

  He's hanging out the back of her. In November 2000, Key was heard to make a racially motivated comment about footballer David Johnson while broadcasting live on a Sky test channel.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  I've just read the slur, oh my god.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  What disgust, where is it?

• 4:29Speaker 03

  You can't be saying that, Richard. Richard, you've cooked me there. Now, that's not as bad as the other friend of the pod, Ron Atkinson, who I, I mean, I watched that happen live.

• 4:42Speaker 04

  What did Ron Atkinson say?

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Ron Atkinson, he, well, he, he went all Mark Fuhrman, shall we say,

• 4:49Speaker 04

  Right.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  On Marcel Desailly after a Champions League. He thought, basically, he went to an ad break.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Chelsea were playing, can't remember, Monaco, maybe?

• 4:56Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Went to an ad break and Ron Atkinson thought his mic was off, but the, the mic carried on live over the ads for like five seconds and he called Desailly a lazy N-word. And then the entire

• 5:09Speaker 04

  It's friendly banter?

• 5:11Speaker 03

  I think, no, I think it's punditry. Ron Atkinson's salty, earthy punditry.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  That's pretty bad. I mean, Keys, do you want to say this one?

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Keys calls, describes someone

• 5:23Speaker 04

  This is Keys, this is a quotation.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  In his words, as a choco jocko.

• 5:28Speaker 04

  Which is, I've never heard that before.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  I don't know what it means.

• 5:32Speaker 04

  It sounds awful.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  What does it mean? I don't know.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  I think you could work out what it means.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I know what the first bit means. What does the second bit mean?

• 5:39Speaker 04

  I guess a jock is a sporting player.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Right, okay. Anyway, pour one out for Richard Keys.

• 5:46Speaker 04

  I mean, he's a man who, as soon as the mics are off, it's just fucking hell for leather slurs.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Some men should not wear microphones.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  It's crazy. But it's amazing that it's literally like he'll be doing, and that's all we've got time for? Sky Sports. Anyway, so I was saying about this, this guy, and he's just like, yeah, he's hanging out the back of it.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  Super Sunday and it's live, fucking hanging out the back of it, smash that, fucking smash that. Yeah. In June 2023, Richard Keys married Lucy Rose, a lawyer, 32 years his junior. Oh, it has been alleged that Lucy was his daughter's best friend.

• 6:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, ultimate toxic dad. Who is like, if we're talking about ultimate toxic dads, should we get up the new Errol Musk clip?

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yes. So I got sent this.

• 6:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, you sent it to me. Should I send it to Charlie?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  This is pretty exceptional.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Phenomenal. We will get back to the 90s World Cup, but seeing as it's part four, and we're in the era of Richard Keys being a toxic dad.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  So this is still sort of relevant.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  It is relevant. We need to talk about Errol Musk, friend of the pod.

• 6:47Speaker 04

  This is pretty exceptional, to be honest. It's from the same interview.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  So hang on, well, just to make sure this is relevant for our listeners.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  It's like a great wagyu beef cut.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  It is melt in the mouth.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  It's just, but it's from the same cow. These cuts are very expensive, rich.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  So the 1994 USA World Cup is just as Richard Keys is starting to broadcast. It is before Errol Musk has started cooking.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  Yes. Now, just saying, pause before we go into this. It's more like the idea of the toxic dad, or the idea of the ignorant dad, the scumbag dad, the scumbag white dad, I guess, is quite specific. This is kind of like the boss, final boss level, I guess. This is kind of every stereotype at its most extreme, all in one man.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Yes. Keys can only wish of being this toxic.

• 7:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, Keys has blown out the water.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  Keys got nothing on Errol Musk. Okay.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  This is like when the English hooligans met the Russian hooligans. And it's just a different level.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  It is. Okay. Players, now just for context, the caption of the clip is Errol Musk on having a child with his stepdaughter. Okay.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  Take it from here, Errol.

• 7:54Speaker 06

  And she stayed here for three weeks and we got on very, very well. She was now a grown woman of just on 30. How old were you at that time? So I was 70. It's just 40 years difference, eh? 40 years difference. Yeah, roughly. Yes. Couple of months later, she called me and said she needs to see me. So she came and she sat there and she showed me a mammogram. Another mammogram.

• 8:12Speaker 04

  Mammogram, thinking of tits.

• 8:13Speaker 06

  Scan, right. And were you not nervous for your ex-wife to find out that you had had a baby with her daughter? No, she was remarried. Yeah, I know that, but it's still unconventional, you know? No, no, she was living.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  Someone else. In that case, I should have been walking around outside her house saying, what are you doing with this other man?

• 8:30Speaker 06

  So, but do you not think that's strange at all?

• 8:32Speaker 04

  No. One woman's another woman. You must remember, in two thirds of the world right now, marriageable age is 12.

• 8:38Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's wrong though.

• 8:39Speaker 04

  Well, you may think so. If you look in the third world, a man won't take a woman who's second hand. Right, so there's a lot going on there.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, and what's phenomenal firstly is that the toxicity where you're challenged and you just fuck off. Yeah, that's wrong though. No, you may think so. It's common knowledge.

• 8:58Speaker 04

  I think it's, it's once again, I think the most appealing thing about Errol Musk is his, uh, the intensity of his opinions. The amount he believes in his own truth, I do find quite inspiring.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  When questioned, do you, don't you think that's at least weird? He goes, no.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  One woman's another woman.

• 9:16Speaker 04

  So that's one of his.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  What does that mean?

• 9:19Speaker 04

  Let's break down his philosophy. So one thing he believes is one woman's another woman, which basically means all women are fair game.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  One woman's another woman. Okay.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  Age is just a number. Daughter's just a word.

• 9:29Speaker 04

  And then he brings up, um, I don't know why that's weird that I'm shagging my ex-wife's daughter because she's shag, she's now shagging a new guy.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  So it'd be like me going around to her house and saying, what the fuck are you doing with this guy?

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  No, it's not, Errol. Cause that's not your son.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  That's not your son. And in the third, in the third world, most, in two thirds of the world, the manageable age is 12. No, it's not though. You may think so. I inhabit a reality where.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  That's true. But also, but also, why is he bringing up the age of consent being 12?

• 9:59Speaker 03

  He's trying to put his decisions in context.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  But the woman, he's, he's, the problem is she's 30. I mean, actually surprisingly old for what I imagine from Errol. And I imagine some of the, she's 30 years old. I don't know why the 12 year old stuff's been brought up. It implies that he's trying to justify something else.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  What's hilarious is that even though he is a man who's had several children.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  He's like, and she shows me some more.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  Real bad man.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  She shows me some kind of mammogram or something. That's, that's the scan women have when they have breast cancer.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  But also.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  That's, that's not, not an ultrasound.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's also because he's so horny, he's thinking about her breasts.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  Well, you may think so.

• 10:35Speaker 04

  But it's so funny that the first thing coming around is mammogram because it's just in his.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Tits, tits, tits.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  It's mammaries.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  That's your daughter. Right, it's another woman.

• 10:42Speaker 04

  One woman to another woman.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  What does that mean? One woman is another woman? What does it mean?

• 10:49Speaker 04

  He does seem kind of at peace with himself though in a way.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  If Woody Allen, if Woody Allen had the South African accent, you know.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 10:59Speaker 03

  It's the difference between a South African Protestant and a New York Jew, isn't it?

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Oh, jeez.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  I know, well, that's technically my stepdaughter.

• 11:05Speaker 04

  My daughter's my wife.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  Oh, no, shucks. Right, one woman's another woman. It's common knowledge.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  It's common, yeah.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  Everyone else is getting mad.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  Woody Allen's up leaning forward going, oh, jeez.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, and he's like on front foot.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  What are you talking about? One woman's another woman.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  You know, and the rest of the world, the men are just twelve.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  You may think so.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Brilliant. What a guy. Friend of the pod, Errol Musk, you know, the man, Richard Keys, rich as he was. This episode of Finmost History is brought to you by Surfshark.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  Woo!

• 11:33Speaker 03

  Guys, look, you've heard it from us before.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  No homo.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  No homo.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  I love Surfshark.

• 11:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's fair enough. He said it. He said no homo. No homo, I'm gay.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  No homo. I want to go down on Surfshark. Who is Mr Surfshark?

• 11:48Speaker 04

  I don't know. I'd like to meet him.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  I'd love to shake his hand.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  I'd love to see his tight little trousers around his thighs.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  If only I could see it, but he's too well protected.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  Why?

• 11:57Speaker 03

  He's got a padlock over his arse.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  How come?

• 12:00Speaker 03

  Because he's Mr Surfshark.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  And what does that mean?

• 12:02Speaker 03

  He doesn't let anyone within an inch of his trousers.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  He's got a chastity belt.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  If you like.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  So this is the internet chastity belt?

• 12:07Speaker 03

  Because public wifi is dangerous. They're like the public toilets of the digital world.

• 12:12Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 12:13Speaker 03

  Go in there, you think you know what you're going in for, you don't know what you're leaving with.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  I went in for a piss.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  Hepatitis.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  I've got AIDS.

• 12:21Speaker 04

  That's a bad, that's a bad deal.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  That's a bad deal. The exchange rate is bad. I went in for a PP and I came out with full blown AIDS. And that's because I went to a public toilet in Shepherd's Bush.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  And they said it's a bar now. Well, you've not cleaned it up properly.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  But did you go into the AIDS toilet?

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Well, that's my, yes.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's probably on you.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  To be fair, it said men, women, disabled and AIDS. I misread that and I went into the AIDS one.

• 12:44Speaker 04

  That's fair enough.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 04

  It could happen to the best of us, but more often happens to the worst.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  But if Surfshark had been running those public toilets, that one would have been locked.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Because Surfshark, once your device connects to the internet, all the information is encrypted.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  Basically, you need to be a medieval king about, with his daughter, about your, your internet, right?

• 13:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Chastity bell.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  Don't go out after fucking 7pm.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  I want seven men queuing, auditioning to have sex with her.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  I want you to have a real tough time at taking a shit because you've got a steel pants welded to your, to your bottom half.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  And that is Surfshark. There is a risk-free 30-day money-back guarantee if you use the code F V H. Sing it with me.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  Foxtrot vagina hotel.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  We run the Foxtrot vagina hotel and you get four extra months of Surfshark. Don't let these online threats catch you off guard.

• 13:36Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  How many discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi-vehicle discount, safe driver discount, uh, new vehicle discount, storage discount, legacy discount.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usaa.com/autodiscount. Restrictions apply.

• 14:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  Anyway, the Premier League has kicked off. Sorry, long tangent. The Premier League has kicked off. Kees is about, Gray's about, and in the 1994 World Cup, it's taken to America, which is obviously controversial because, you know, they don't like football.

• 14:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  But this is the, the, the beginning of the 90s with football as a billion-dollar product.

• 14:44Speaker 04

  The 94 thing, it sort of failed and what they're trying to do now, the current World Cup this summer, is probably trying to achieve what 94 is trying to achieve. Because 94 failed, right?

• 14:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  Because it didn't take off.

• 14:55Speaker 03

  94 was a disaster, so the domestic audience views the sport with hostility. It's just like an imperial, it still has that imperial hang up. Also, Americans have this idea of sport where, like, there can be no sport that exists that Americans didn't invent.

• 15:08Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  They have a friendly blink of the eye.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  But they also think it's sort of third world sports.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  They view football as like, it's like poverty, basically.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  The notion that cricket's the biggest sport in the world, they like find baffling.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, but yeah, they just view it as third world sports.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  An American newspaper article said Americans were right not to care about the World Cup, describing it as the biggest sport in Cameroon, Uruguay and Madagascar. So, but FIFA think it's this market that's ripe for exploitation. Now, the opening ceremony is an absolute disaster.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Because, sorry, but one thing that is interesting about FIFA football is the most global sport. It feels, the World Cup feels the biggest global event. But the three biggest countries in the world, none of them play football. It's kind of weird that China, India and America, all of them don't have any football culture. Even though that's like the three most populated countries in the world.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  China have a football culture.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  Do they?

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  What?

• 16:00Speaker 03

  Little fellows, bro.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  Well, fucking, the Chinese Super League, where they're buying.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, which has collapsed.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, has it?

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, they spent loads of money on it, it didn't work and it's collapsed. Now, more people watch snooker than football.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Well, look, you've got forks, chopsticks, football, ping pong. All right, you'd have to say 2-0 to the West.

• 16:21Speaker 04

  You may think so.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  It's common knowledge, common knowledge. Yeah, obviously, yeah, obviously.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  So, the opening ceremony is in Chicago, there's a match between Bolivia and Germany. What is it, Charlie?

• 16:33Speaker 05

  What do you think it does to the pod if we get Errol on the pod?

• 16:36Speaker 03

  Skyrockets.

• 16:36Speaker 04

  Skyrockets. I think something this pod might need, I don't think we're lost at the moment, but if we were ever lost, we might need to find our North Star, the man with the most searing clarity of all, Errol Musk.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  But I think we'll have to only deploy him once we feel like we're in the woods and a bit foggy.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  Errol, please, clear this up for us.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:54Speaker 04

  That's what we get.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  What's going on? I think we probably do the Holocaust with Errol Musk, just to clear things up once and for all.

• 17:01Speaker 04

  Well, obviously.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  All of this is common knowledge, it's 200,000, obviously.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  None of them, they're all pretending to be dead.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  Obviously.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  They're all right, yeah.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  One Jew's another Jew, what do you mean?

• 17:08Speaker 04

  Six million died, you may think so.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Oh my god, if Holocaust denial as a team ever sign Errol Musk, we're in the toilet.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  We're absolutely done. So Germany are competing as a unified nation for the first time since 1938. Because it's 1994. Now, the only ceremony is hilarious. Oprah falls over on stage and twists her ankle. Diana Ross does this famous, she has to take a, she has to kick a massive football from three yards and she still fucks it. Hilariously bad. Yeah, the goal falls away. Anyway. Germany win an awful game. She just runs. Germany wins an awful opening game 1-0, but I didn't fucking know this. The whole thing is overshadowed.

• 17:53Speaker 04

  I had no idea.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  And on the same day, the LAPD are in televised pursuit of OJ Simpson.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  But it shows how small a deal the World Cup is.

• 18:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 04

  That when we're doing all of our OJ research, it didn't come up once.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  No, I had no, like, so this is competing for the most exciting live GTA that's ever happened.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  This is the problem we're trying to do football in America.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  I know. And as we recall, we must just say that friend of the pod, Mark Furman, has passed away.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  At the time of record.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Minutes, he's not yet been resurrected. We must, we must have a minute.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  So we've just said, we've done this, it's about 15 minutes in, we've said, Errol Musk, Richard Keys and Mark Furman, all friends of the pod.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Can we make a Mount Rushmore? An AI Mount Rushmore? Charlie, can you make an AI Mount Rushmore and Grok? Mark Furman, Richard Keys and Errol Musk. Yeah, this is the Finver's history, Mount Rushmore. It's been, yeah.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  And Gianni Infantino, I think we should throw.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Today I am gay.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  So, yeah, but that isn't, isn't that, I think that's, that's part of the reason though culturally as to why America can never, maybe will never have the love for football that European nations do is that its news cycle is just much more entertaining than like any sport can be.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  I mean, no sport could compete with that.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  With OJ, yeah.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  The only equivalent we have is Real Mo. And that was not televised.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  It was a British OJ.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  And we could not, there was no like visually, that didn't work on TV as well.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, I guess it'd be him running through a bog or like running down.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  Rowoo.

• 19:29Speaker 04

  Chased by Gascoigne and Ray Mears picking up grass and selling it.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  It's not the same.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  So probably the best thing about 94, which I think is quite a turgid tournament.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  Cause Brazil.

• 19:41Speaker 04

  It's too hot.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  It's too hot, but also Brazil are not that good that.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 19:48Speaker 04

  That's looking very nice.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  That's nice.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  I like how Grok's like.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  Lovely. So just punch in on that, please. That's glorious. We're just looking now at a photo of friends of the pod, Mount Rushmore.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  Furman, Keys, Musk and Infantino. Minute silos, please.

• 20:10Speaker 04

  Imagine someone made a Rushmore of those four. What the fuck is going on?

• 20:18Speaker 04

  Right. A new unveiling.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  We made some, we've adapted the original Mount Rushmore.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  Got rid of George Washington.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  But also it's so funny, it's so funny that it's on, obviously it's on Native American land, isn't it? It isn't, because that's what they did with like Sitting Bull and people is they made. But to make the most toxic white, white dad, Mount Rushmore. You know, you've got the, the obviously the N word tapes, then you've got, would you smash it? Then you've got, well, obviously just common knowledge. And you've got, today I feel disabled.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Heroes, a lot of them.

• 20:54Speaker 04

  They might be the soundbite kings, to be honest. They probably, is a Mount Rushmore of greatest soundbites of all time?

• 21:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  I think, I don't think we should make a thumbnail for this episode. I think we should just put that out and see what happens.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Oh glorious, great men, the lot of them. Anyway, so it's a pretty turgid tournament 94 on the pitch. I think Brazil aren't that good. They, I mean, they have Romario, but they also have Dunga and it's quite, I don't remember thinking that there's that much good football. Nigeria are quite good at this point. They've got like, they've got Tariibo West who's got funny hair.

• 21:27Speaker 04

  It's a more organised Brazil, less.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, less fun. But the main, the main sort of political thing that happens is that obviously in Colombia, which is, oh fucking hell, man, what's going on here? Um, there's drug cartels everywhere. Uh, the national team are funded by people like Pablo Escobar.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Um, and so they're under immense pressure to do well. And Colombia aren't a bad team. In the 90s, they get quite good. We're just, we're just, maybe Valderrama's around.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  They've always been in and around it. Yeah.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Um, anyway, so they beat Argentina 5-0 in qualifying, so expectations are quite high. But then, uh, Andres Escobar, a defender, scores an own goal in a defeat to the US. Uh, and as soon as he gets home, he is shot six times.

• 22:08Speaker 04

  Yes. So I think this is probably.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  And they, sorry, as, as he's murdered, after every shot, his killers are rumored to have shouted, "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!"

• 22:17Speaker 04

  I don't think that's, surely that's not true. It might be like, "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!" So I think that's too silly for how angry they were. "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!"

• 22:30Speaker 03

  No, but it sounds silly to us, right?

• 22:32Speaker 04

  "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!"

• 22:34Speaker 03

  But obviously, South American commentary sounds stupid to us, right? But to them, that's like moving.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!"

• 22:42Speaker 03

  John Motson would go, "Goal! Goal!"

• 22:44Speaker 04

  "Motty doesn't do chunky."

• 22:46Speaker 03

  "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!" But to a South American.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  Like a fucking Liam Neeson film starring Johnny Motson. "Motty doesn't do chunky." "You have 30 minutes to make your decision." And it's like, "Dit, dit, dit."

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Um, but my, my point is that for South Americans, that doesn't sound stupid. So, you know, "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!" is to them, is, is moving, is exciting, it's, it's not, you know, it's telenovelas.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  Sorry Charlie, can you make a, a thriller poster with John Motson? Uh, "You have 30 minutes to make a decision, I'm holding Viagra," and then quote saying, "Motty doesn't do chunky," so sorry.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  Um, so, uh, I actually think that you could, "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!" could be aggressive. We read it as cartoonishly because of the Simpsons, right?

• 23:27Speaker 04

  He should be shouting, "Own goal!" "Own goal! Own goal! Own goal! Own goal! Own goal! Goal!"

• 23:33Speaker 03

  If he was doing that, he'd be shooting himself.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  Yes, but he's angry at the own goal. That's why he's getting shot.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  But he's scoring goals with the gun.

• 23:40Speaker 04

  I see, I see.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  Showing him what he should have been doing. But I guess the way that we talk about the British tabloid culture around World Cups being super toxic, I guess this is the

• 23:52Speaker 03

  You've got nothing on Colombia.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  This is the end point.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  Someone scores an own goal, they get shot six times.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, Rob Green, Shout Thank You Lucky Stars, he wasn't playing for Colombia.

• 24:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  Because when the ball went over his foot, you know.

• 24:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, now he's allowed to whinge on Talksport all the time.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  It's reported that the killer shouted "goal" after every shot, once for each time a football commentator had said it. Yeah.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal! Then they drove away in a Toyota pickup truck.

• 24:19Speaker 04

  Fuck.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Footnoted, accurate.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  Wow, amazing, amazing.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  So, there's also Maradona's last World Cup, and we should, I think we touched on it slightly, but we should mention, so he's

• 24:31Speaker 04

  How old is he at this point?

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Uh...

• 24:33Speaker 04

  30s.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, probably early 30s.

• 24:35Speaker 05

  He was born in 1960, I think?

• 24:37Speaker 03

  Yes, he was 4. Thank you, Charlie.

• 24:39Speaker 04

  So, at the top of your dome?

• 24:40Speaker 03

  So, he, before the tournament, he had fired an air rifle at journalists camped outside his house, causing minor injuries to people.

• 24:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Despite this, he goes on to play against Greece in their opening match. Now, he scored a goal, and then, we'll just get the photo up, just scroll down on the script, Phoebe, and there were suspicions that maybe he was on drugs.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  It's possible.

• 25:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  He's then tested positive for Ephedrine.

• 25:06Speaker 04

  I don't think he's on weed.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  No, he's not on downers. And...

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Right, right. You have, we have to explain, because we touched on this on Patreon, so we have to explain what this means. So, if you, turn to video, there were two stories about John Motson that the Upshot Boys told us on the Patreon.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  Sorry, yeah. We talked about this on the podcast before though. John Watson, iconic match of the day commentator, turned out to be Jon Grothson, Johnny Grotty. He was very horny, had a lot of prostitutes turning up, allegedly, turning up to BBC with unpaid checks, but also he met an intern for what she thought was like a career dinner, but was actually a date, held up a Viagra, said, do you know what this is? When she said yes, he swallows it and goes, you have 30 minutes to make your decision.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:08Speaker 04

  Right? And then also, his match ritual is at half time, he has a four finger Kit Kat. And once, an intern hearing that he likes Kit Kat, got a Kit Kat Chunky and he lost it. He said, and he screamed apparently, Motti doesn't do chunkies.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  So anyway, we're now looking at a poster that Charlie's made an AI of Motti doesn't do chunkies. Him holding a blue pill, saying you have 30 minutes to make your decision.

• 26:31Speaker 04

  It's a sort of edgy, kind of gritty.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  You can see the BT, you can see the BT tower in the distance. I mean, it looks pretty.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  It's a gritty UK thriller, really. It's maybe a Guy Ritchie type film.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  Motti doesn't do chunkies.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  Motti doesn't do chunkies.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  I'd say it's more like Jason Statham's Crank.

• 26:45Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  About Motti and Kit Kat chunkies. Anyway.

• 26:49Speaker 04

  Send that to the upshot boys.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Anyway, so Maradona gets led away by a nurse for a random drug test and this becomes a kind of iconic image to signal the end of, it looks like he's being led away by his carer, really.

• 27:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, it's very sweet because it looks like he's skipping.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Now, in here, this is in 2004, he's 130 kilograms. Now, Charlie, could you just get up the photo of me with Emma Watson? Because I, I think, remember, he's 5'5" and I'm 6'2".

• 27:15Speaker 04

  But where, how tall were you then?

• 27:17Speaker 03

  I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm taller than five, I'm probably 5'5".

• 27:21Speaker 04

  Well, when you're that age.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  11, 12.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Wow. So you think that was the most Maradona, that's the most similar you two have been?

• 27:28Speaker 03

  I've seen photos of me where I'm, I look like that.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  But remember, I'm coming onto the field as an impact sub in Cream Predators as a cream bun predator.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Okay. So I'm like, I'm like Maradona.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  I'm like Maradona, but I'm doing it at that weight.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  Right, I see. And he wasn't.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  No, he was thin when he was great, you know? There you go, side by side. Yours is more depressing still, isn't it? Would you agree? Yes, because I'm in a fun shirt, so it is more depressing. There's a darkness. Yes.

• 27:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess the fun shirt adds a level of forced joy. And being sad in a fun shirt, I think never reads good.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  I look like a whale in SeaWorld that's been made to do tricks. That's why there's a sadness, because you think this noble beast is being forced.

• 28:12Speaker 04

  And it's got a bow on its head.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's got like a party hat and you go, this is wrong. This should be let free to just eat fish.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  That's you with all your mince pies. That's you going to your room with the mince pies in your hand.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, anyway, so Maradona, there's also a great moment in the 20, is it 18 World Cup? Where Messi scores a brilliant goal against Nigeria. Maradona's in the crowd. There's almost a callback to 94 where TV cameras pick him up going like in the crowd, doing a kind of Wakanda like.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  Was that 2018?

• 28:45Speaker 03

  I'm pretty sure it's 2018. It's a lovely little callback to the 94. Yeah, and he starts fucking flipping the bird at everyone as well.

• 28:54Speaker 04

  He's just on it.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  He's gacked off his nut in the stands watching Messi. Anyway, so now that's 94, Brazil win 94, Roberto Vagio misses a penalty. 1998, my first World Cup.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  I collected Tesco's commemorative World Cup coins for this. Now, this is where suddenly there is a new era of international football because 32 teams are now in the tournament. And this is also where the expansion has to be covered by sponsors, which paves the way for.

• 29:26Speaker 04

  In my head, this is the first modern World Cup.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  The way I view it, 1998, it feels like that's got a lineage to the World Cup here most distinctly.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think I probably agree because the expansion means that they need money to fill this bigger product they're putting on. So there's more space for corruption. So this is the start of the road that takes us to Sep and Chuck Blazer. Now Chuck Blazer is a US delegate on FIFA.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  Love Chuck Blazer.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  He admits to taking a bribe from the Morocco bid for the World Cup.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  Let's have a look at this. I mean, this is putting your weight to shame, actually.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Yes, he is.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  This is you, maybe if you.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  This is me dressing up as Santa Claus.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  Or maybe this is you when you're older, when you've given up. Like, is this, because I mean, you do maybe have this in your locker.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  It's amazing to look like I have that in my locker.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  You've got that, no, in your locker. If you had some fucking balls.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  I'd sack Tyreek and I'd just go full Chuck Blazer. Yeah, the amazing thing is that he looks-

• 30:22Speaker 04

  Get Blazer as your personal trainer. How do I acquire that body?

• 30:26Speaker 03

  He's looking at the photo of me as I'm watching going, "You had it, man. You had it."

• 30:28Speaker 04

  You had it. You were on a great-

• 30:30Speaker 03

  Fucking-

• 30:30Speaker 04

  This is a great era for FIFA because everyone is so hilariously corrupt. It's an international corruptness that maybe has not been seen before, where it's like national borders don't mean anything. It is, the kind of globalized economy means we're all brothers in corruption.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Well, I think the story, because the story of the World Cup is that it's always been corrupt. But it's been corrupt because it's been done through local fascist regimes or military dictatorships.

• 30:58Speaker 04

  A golden age.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  A golden age. But-

• 31:01Speaker 00

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• 31:30Speaker 01

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• 31:46Speaker 07

  He built the first planet-wide media empire. He monetized the paranoia and resentment that led to Donald Trump and Brexit. He ruined his own family in his obsessive quest for money, power and legacy. This is the story of Rupert Murdoch, the real-life succession. Join me, Dorian Linsky. And me, Ian Dunst, for season 10 of Origin Story, the show that uses the past to explain the present. That's Origin Story, kicking off with a two-part special on Rupert Murdoch.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  On all podcast platforms now.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  This is where FIFA, the organisation, becomes nakedly corrupt.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  I think.

• 32:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  And the people at the top. Now, obviously, you've always had like Sir.

• 32:25Speaker 04

  An institution that's asked you to trust it is the least trustworthy thing.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, so you've had Sir Stanley Rouse in 66 saying that all the Africans and Asians are gonna make people one spot.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  But that's the gentleman's corruption.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  That's gentleman's corruption.

• 32:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  But that's still one country.

• 32:38Speaker 04

  That's paternal.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  That's one country.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  That like, that's like benefiting itself.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Right? This level of corruption is.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  It's personal.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  It's about the institution, not the countries necessarily.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  It's about the people at the top of FIFA.

• 32:49Speaker 04

  And it's also personally lining your pockets to a way that's not really been seen.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  So who is Chuck Blazer?

• 32:53Speaker 04

  So he's one of the many delegates who.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Konkakaf?

• 32:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Is that the different area?

• 32:58Speaker 04

  Every country and every like continent has certain delegates and they decide where the World Cup goes. So they obviously are taking huge bribes from countries because their votes are so important.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  There's Jack Warner, there's lots of other different people, but my favourite is Chuck Blazer, who just, I guess, being that corrupt American and that fat, it's just a level of gluttony on all parts of your life.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  It's just, to be visually that, just like.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  Gluttonous.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  It, it just, it's consuming so much. He lets a look at some of the stuff. So Blazer was a colourful character who lived a life of excess. He rented a $6,000 a month apartment in Trump Tower just for his cats. After being caught by the IRS for a decade unpaid taxes, Blazer became a triple agent. So like, he sells everyone down the river. He's not a dou-, he's not an agent, he's a dou-, he's not a double agent.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  I tell you what.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  He's a triple agent.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  He's like the guy in the OJ story who finally get him in Vegas.

• 33:54Speaker 04

  This is a, he's a Vegas guy.

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  A triple agent is like such a level of corruption, it's like.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  You have to go back to the first guy saying that, yeah, no, I fucked it again.

• 34:03Speaker 04

  4D chess.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  Does not stand for anything but personal gain. During the 2012 London Olympics, he went to FIFA meetings with a recording device hidden in his key chair. He's also brought down FIFA just to benefit himself.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Yes, we'll get to that, but he comes into the story in 98. That's ultimately how he links us to Blatter. But let's go back to 98 quickly. So geopolitically, there's an interesting moment where Iran are drawn against America in the group stage. Obviously, they don't have diplomatic relations.

• 34:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Being only 20 years after Dr. Grumkin's taken power.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  So they don't know what to do about the handshakes at this beginning because Ayatollah Khomeini instructs his team not to shake their hands.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Grumpykins be grumpykining.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  So instead, the US players approach the Iranians and they hand them white roses, which is even gayer than shaking hands. So I don't know what

• 34:57Speaker 04

  I don't know what that says. What you've done there. Because also the American players are smiling.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  They're like, it seems like they don't view this as a threat. It's not very, it's not a great snub, is it?

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Iran win 2-1, which, you know, you're looking at where we are geopolitically. Feels quite like a similar.

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Hey, look, I always thought people overestated around. I thought they're paper tiger, but fuck it, no, fair play.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  They love it. And then obviously the big story in the final is Ronaldo, original Ronaldo, fat Ronaldo.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  So this is, and he's, this is early as career.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  Teenage sensation. Well, I have to say, I mean, I remember watching, I used to watch Golatso, the James Richardson, Channel 4 show, Serie A highlights in the 90s. Him, him at like Inter Milan, I mean, it's unbelievable.

• 35:40Speaker 04

  Inter Milan Europa League final highlights, some of the craziest shit. I think it's generally viewed.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Not Europa League.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  No, yeah, that was one of the most amazing, because it's Interwood in the Europa League, I think.

• 35:51Speaker 03

  But not, yeah, UEFA, it was UEFA Cup then.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  UEFA Cup, yeah.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  You don't want to do it. That's the Europa League. You want to call it UEFA Cup. You want to do Ronaldo, Inter Milan, UEFA Cup.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  But I think for natural talent, there's an argument that he's probably, apart from Messi and Maradona, maybe the best ever. Because he didn't put the numbers of Cristiano Ronaldo, but it's because he had such a short burst, he got fat, he got injured, but just burst onto the scene as a teenager, probably the most talented.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  But also, we're getting to, we're getting to the last, the last sort of high point of individualism in the game.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, this is.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  This is the last era of it.

• 36:26Speaker 04

  Well, this is the beginning of what I feel currently is viewed as the golden age.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  Because people don't talk about the 80s, the 50s, 60s, the golden age. We talk about our youth and it must be a nostalgia thing. But I think it peaks actually in 2006 for me, when that's probably has the most stars.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  When you reach 2006, if you think about the stars, you've got Zidane, Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Messi.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  Ronaldinho.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Ronaldinho, fucking Scholes, Lampard, Gerrard, Rooney. It's like every team. Eto'o, Deco. Eto'o, yeah, like every team is the most stacked with individual talents.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  But it's before that kind of Pep 2008 system.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Starts to start, yeah.

• 37:09Speaker 05

  Do you think that there'll be any nostalgia for now in like 10 years?

• 37:13Speaker 04

  Maybe, I mean, if it gets worse.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  It depends because because it's just the road of football is becoming more and more corporately aligned. It's like winning, like losing is so high stakes in a business way now. It's becoming more like American sport where people are fired because they're putting the company under financial risk rather than just losing.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  I mean, that's why.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  This is absolutely ridiculous, watching Ronaldo high.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I mean, that's why the super league, they're trying to make the super league because it's interesting to listen to America to talk about British sport where it's like from a financial perspective, it's crazy to have relegation. Because you can't run a business like that.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Like Tottenham, if they go down, they just bought a massive stadium. The bad people who lose their jobs, everyone loses, it's so high risk.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  That they, that's why American, you don't get relegated, you just keep it in a.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:02Speaker 04

  But it's better for the spectators, but it is far worse for it as a business.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  So, uh, France end up beating Brazil 3-0 because Ronaldo on the day of the final wakes up, having had some kind of seizure was always the.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  He had food poisoning.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  I think it was a stress induced fit.

• 38:18Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  I remember watching it and getting the news from Des Lyle that Ronaldo wasn't starting. He came on and wasn't really himself and France.

• 38:26Speaker 04

  So what size are you now?

• 38:27Speaker 03

  Sorry?

• 38:28Speaker 04

  In 1998.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  What size am I? Oh, in 1998.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  Terrifying.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  No, I'm getting towards terrifying.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  Is that, are you going through?

• 38:37Speaker 03

  I'm concerning, I'm concerning size.

• 38:38Speaker 04

  Is this your prime? Are you, is the beginning of your prime?

• 38:43Speaker 03

  Is prime the fattest? Yes.

• 38:47Speaker 03

  We're on the way, we're on the way down.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  Right.

• 38:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'd say, I'd say prime is kind of 11, 12.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  Right. It's Messi 2009 is just about to head into.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  Yep, yep.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Alex Ferguson is looking at me going, this is terrifying what these guys are going to hear. We've got no answer to the half of this guy is.

• 39:05Speaker 03

  But I've not yet become the monolith.

• 39:07Speaker 04

  Sure, yeah.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  That I will be when I'm Gavin plumbing behind them a Watson in a cave. Anyway, for France, this is a huge political success because it's.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Gavin Plum is a fucking adjective. It's incredible.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Gavin plumbing it. That's a verb.

• 39:20Speaker 04

  Verb, yeah.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Stalking behind a film star as a huge fat lump to Gavin Plum. Charlie, could you get Gavin Plum on the Mount Rushmore, please? Add him as our fifth member. Anyway.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  So this is a huge deal in France 98 because it's, uh, it's, uh, this is also the, around the time that La N, the film was made. So it's like the whole Paris race.

• 39:45Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Tension.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  The, but what's it called?

• 39:47Speaker 03

  The banlieue, the suburbs.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. Which is probably now the greatest creator of talent in football in the world, probably.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:55Speaker 04

  Does that ring around Paris?

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Ring around Paris. So, but this is the first time. So all those stars, Mbappe and Dembele, they all grew up in the shadow of watching this team, this like rainbow team where you've got Vieira, Desai.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  Henry.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  Sudan, Henri, you've got Dougury. Sudan's Algerian heritage. So the rainbow nation. Now, speaking of rainbow nations, let's, we can skip the kind of early noughties, 2002, obviously South Korea. That's quite a good World Cup. 2010 is the next big one.

• 40:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Because this is the first and only time to date the World Cup has been on in Africa. But there's also the real start of the downfall.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  For FIFA's architects, because this is the fruition of Seth Blatter, who I haven't introduced yet.

• 40:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  He becomes president in 98, right? And he, um, so he sort of in blatant corruption, he offers delegates $100,000 for votes. The night before the election, delegates are offered briefcases containing 50,000 grand in cash. And he wins 111 of the 190.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  And I think that's suspicious.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  Something seems a bit fishy.

• 40:59Speaker 04

  I feel like there's a related. It's not just a random gift.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  So let's get to 2010. So, uh, now FIFA had given South Africa all this money. This is the first time I remember hearing the phrase white elephant. Was that South Africa would spend it all on stadiums that they would never use again.

• 41:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  It was in, it was in remote areas of the country that, you know, they didn't need a stadium. They needed like an infrastructure.

• 41:21Speaker 04

  Just this sort of news just bumming you out as well, just saying completely fucked.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  So the strategy of the Africa project, which is that Blatter's Africa project is a strategy to solidify his power within FIFA by expanding the game's reach and therefore making all the other developing regions of the world kind of beholden to him.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  Yes, I guess the only way that you could sell both Seb Blatter and Gianni is having any sort of standing for anything. I guess the only positive spin is that, well, how they would justify it's all about expanding the game's global reach.

• 41:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  That's why they wanted one in the Middle East. They want to win in Africa. They want to, I guess that's, that would be their argument.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:59Speaker 04

  Because that's what this whole period is about, is about really pushing it to as many corners of the world as possible.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you can do that in a way that you don't give people 50 grand, they don't give you 50 grand cash. You can do that.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  You can.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  If you actually meant that, maybe you wouldn't need the briefcase that's full of 50 grand.

• 42:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  The South African bid committee paid $10 million to the head of CONCACAF, who is Chuck Blazer or not?

• 42:21Speaker 04

  No, I mean, he's, Ward's Caribbean.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Maybe that's Jack Warner, which is a donation to support the African diaspora in the Caribbean.

• 42:28Speaker 04

  Yes, he's Jack Warner's Caribbean.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  So it's reparations basically from FIFA. Now politically, South Africa is meant to showcase the rainbow nation, you know.

• 42:39Speaker 04

  The best, the most important tunes in the run up to 2010 of all World Cups.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Do you think?

• 42:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, the most important like songs made specifically for it. You had Whacka Whacka, whacka whacka eh, it's time for Africa.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Done that.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  This is common, common knowledge. Charlie, this is common knowledge.

• 43:03Speaker 03

  Whacka whacka Africa.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've heard that. It's time for Africa. Then there was that James Corden Dizzy Rascal song, Fight, Fight, Let It All Out. So what we're all about, come on.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  That was, but that wasn't even our official song. We had another one. Fucking. Shout. Shout. Waving flag. They basically had so many. I didn't mind waving a flag.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  R. Kelly.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Sign of a victory.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  That's the official anthem by R. Kelly.

• 43:31Speaker 04

  It's coming home, started coming back into the.

• 43:36Speaker 04

  The culture.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  R. Kelly did the official FIFA sanctioned song.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  Glorious. Now, the main, the main issue with it from a corruption standpoint is that it's kind of a vanity project because none of the money gets spent on the needs of the nation.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  But also the fucking Vuvuzelas ruin.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  Ruin everything.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  TV coverage.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  What are they like, sort of hornets, basically, just use air trumpets, air horns.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  I did, I, to be honest.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  It was a crap World Cup on the pitch.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  Um, Spain, Spain had some, I mean, it also had the fucking.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  There he is, Plum in the middle of Mount Muchmore. Give it up for Plum.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  They look like Plum's bodyguards.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  They do, Plum looks like Jesus surrounded by his apostles.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  I, I wanna say it, but Plum, Plum's sort of mugging them, to be honest.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  In what way?

• 44:24Speaker 04

  They're getting Plum.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Plum mugged?

• 44:26Speaker 07

  He's like David.

• 44:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, he, he's, he's got the most charisma of, of all of them.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  Furman, Errol Musk.

• 44:32Speaker 04

  Richard Keys probably not the best stone mason, really, he doesn't look, close enough to Richard Keys for my liking.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. Glorious. Friends of the pod on Mount Muchmore.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 44:46Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  It was, I think it was a shit tournament and then.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  I didn't mind the Vuvuzela, I thought it added attention to the, watching the game.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  It's like, it's like watching a Christopher Nolan film where the sound comes up.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  I quite like that drone, it made me feel like there was a feeling of dread and anxiety that was exciting.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  That's like the brown sound, I need to go to the toilet the whole time. So, Russia bid for the World Cup in 2018, England also bid. Now, this is where the corruption starts to unravel. Jack Warner, who's the president of CONCACAF, he controlled a unified voting bloc that essentially makes him a kingmaker within the organisation. So, England think they've got his support, but then ultimately they all go for Russia and Qatar. Now, Blatter is.

• 45:26Speaker 04

  And it's built, builds into England's myth as well.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Because as we found in the.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  The gentleman's game.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  And we, we, we do a handshake and we think that's it. And then a corrupt European.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Official.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  Bureaucracy.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:38Speaker 04

  Have worked out something behind our backs.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  But also this whole.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  But you promised, you shook my hand.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Like, the whole thing of England and Britain. Saying out of FIFA at the start.

• 45:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  That we think no better than it.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  There's an arrogance there that's still here. We'll be.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  And we're getting punished for arrogance and being proven right in our arrogance, but also being punished.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  At the same time.

• 45:56Speaker 04

  Both are right.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Yes, you're right. It's kind of win-win, actually. So Blatter made this unprecedented decision to vote on the 2018 and 22 World Cups at the same time, which means if you're bidding for 2018, you can trade your vote with someone for 22. So you can basically do a swap vote.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Right.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  So also Putin wants to reassert Russia's world power. Has he? He's invaded the Crimea at this point.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  But again, who? I mean, that was master FIFA, given that they've given it to Mussolini in the past. Now, an MI6 spy, Christopher Steele, uncovers all the rumours, including valuable paintings from the Hermitage Museum are offered to FIFA executive committee members in exchange for votes.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  Allegations Russia had provided computers to FIFA officials that were later destroyed, which means that the investigation was impossible. And in 2010, in Zurich, Russia and Qatar are announced as the winners of the votes. I remember this, I was at uni, student protests, kettling.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  This is Clegg.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  This is Clegg years. The optimism of Clegg is vanishing. Clegg's in power, Clegg mania is wearing off. We're waking up after Clegg mania.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  It's drunk. Had the hangover after Clegg mania. And Qatar, I remember us all thinking, what the fuck do you mean? What do you mean Qatar?

• 47:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  What do you mean Qatar?

• 47:07Speaker 04

  It's Charlie Monday morning, after a weekend bender on Clegg mania.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  What do you mean Qatar? What do you mean we're doing Qatar on the pod?

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Qatar win every single round of voting. Right, so let's get to the 2015.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  That seems pretty unanimous to me, Chuck Blazer.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  The FBI raids. So they then, because of Chuck Blazer, who.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  Also Chuck Blazer, just for a fat corrupt American to be called Chuck Blazer.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Which also, what's so funny is that he looks so fucked and yet he's wearing a suit. That's what's funny.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  He's always wearing a blazer and he's called fucking Chuck.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. Weighs over 400 pounds, a boisterous New Yorker was often seen riding a mobility scooter through Manhattan.

• 47:45Speaker 04

  I do kind of love, I mean, Blazers should probably get on the Mount Rushmore. Chuck Blazer might even get on.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  On Rushmore, yeah. I mean, he does look like someone who sort of just bombs round regional England on a mobility scooter, fighting seagulls for chips.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  So he basically, because he's a double turncoat or triple turncoat.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  Triple turncoat.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  He had once been Blatter's right hand man.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  He's so corrupt, he's a good guy.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  It's like, it's like, he's fucked over so many people that he's accidentally ended up doing the right thing.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah. But through no, through no of own volition.

• 48:21Speaker 04

  What's the most corrupt thing I can do? Just ended up.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Oh, I'll do the right thing. Oh, well. He's turned left seven times to turn right once. So they storm a hotel in Zurich. And so it's Swiss plainclothes police officers who are acting on behalf of the FBI. They arrest basically all the head of FIFA, the officials. This is all on Chuck Blazer's kind of testimony. Two days before the presidential election. Because what's about to happen is that Blatter is going up against Michelle Platini, who's the head of UEFA for the new head of president.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  And they find some money in a bank account or a transaction of 2 billion euros from Blatter to Platini. And Platini has also decided to stand down, basically making it a coronation for Blatter. Is that right?

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  So basically, it all stinks. That's become known to be the disloyal payment. FIFA claims it's from back payment for consultancy work.

• 49:27Speaker 04

  Great. I love vague stuff.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Oh, there he is. Blazers on the wall. Who have we lost? We've lost someone.

• 49:32Speaker 05

  We've lost Gianni Fattino.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  We've lost Charlie Fattino.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  Charlie, Charlie, the whole mountain should be Chuck Blazer. So can you make it so it's all Chuck Blazer's body?

• 49:42Speaker 05

  They're all attached to Chuck.

• 49:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, and Chuck is the kind of the actual.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  He's the Jabba the Hutt with six heads. The Cerberus of the pod.

• 49:54Speaker 07

  I think it's, no, it's his mobility scooter.

• 49:56Speaker 03

  Yes, he's on a mobility scooter, he's got six heads and that's Mount Rushmore.

• 49:59Speaker 04

  No, it's him lying down and that's the mountain.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Okay, the mobility scooter's crashed.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  Anyway, it was paid nine years late.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Essentially, both Platini and Blatter get banned from football by the FIFA Ethics Committee. And Blatter doesn't recover.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  The FIFA Ethics Committee?

• 50:18Speaker 03

  As if that's such a thing exists.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  What is that?

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Where have they been this whole hundred years? Where have the FIFA Ethics Committee?

• 50:24Speaker 04

  The Nazi Anti Genocide Committee.

• 50:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. Where have they been? Where were they in 1938, 1978? Anyway, so Blatter is originally banned for eight years and then a Swiss court acquits them both.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Do you remember the film Blatter made about himself that he paid for?

• 50:40Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, the biography.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  Starring, who's the actor?

• 50:46Speaker 04

  Do Blatter film? I don't know how this actor got to want to, united passions, but I cannot believe this film.

• 50:55Speaker 03

  Is that Sam Neill from Jurassic Park?

• 50:59Speaker 04

  There we go, there we go. It's Tim Roth. You'll know Tim Roth.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know Tim Roth.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  Good actor.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  So it's just a complete.

• 51:16Speaker 04

  About the, about the noble. Who paid, who paid for it? It was financed by FIFA.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  It's a corporate propaganda film.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  It's absolutely incredible.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  So it's basically just corporate PR.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  Former president said Blatter played by Tim Roth as a position as a primary hero, leading a misunderstood organisation.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 51:37Speaker 04

  In the middle of all of this, by the way.

• 51:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. So when does it come out? When does that release, that film?

• 51:42Speaker 04

  The box office numbers.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  The budget was $27 million.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's see. And I guess that that's, you get tax breaks when you make films.

• 51:48Speaker 03

  A famous commercial, no.

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  It took $918 in its opening weekend in the US. So, so hang on, how much is a ticket in the US to see a movie? It must be like 20 bucks or something.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, $15, 20, yeah, $20.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  So, I mean, maybe what, 300 people saw it, something like that, 400 people?

• 52:05Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  If that, if that, no, less than that.

• 52:08Speaker 04

  Absolute.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  It's got naught percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  Phenomenal.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Not enough people talk about United Passions. We need to bring that back into.

• 52:16Speaker 03

  Should we do it? We should do it for a film club. We should do it.

• 52:18Speaker 04

  Let's do a film club of United Passions. Nine hundred and sixteen dollars.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  But then, so this is what stinks as well. A Swiss court, which again, that's like saying FIFA Ethics Committee. What does that, what do you mean a Swiss court? The country is a fucking tax, it's the country is an illegal operations union. Swiss court acquits Blatter and Platini of criminal fraud in 2022 and they're cleared again on appeal into March 25. So.

• 52:43Speaker 04

  So recently, fuck.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. So then you have the Russian World Cup, which obviously just before.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  Obviously.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  You've got, oh, it's called the Lullaby Crimea, the Salisbury poisonings, Pussy Riot get involved. I mean, I suppose, I, I, I think there's never been a World Cup that has not had some sort of kind of dread in the build up over the geopolitical context.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  So obviously now this is Trump's World Cup.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  Trump's World Cup, Trump is at a war with Iran.

• 53:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  You know, it's similar, it's similar to Eurovision, isn't it? You know, the Israel and Eurovision. It's, it's clouding what should be a celebration, the gay World Cup.

• 53:26Speaker 04

  But also the fact that like, it, it does change, the fact we've brought Mussolini up and I'm calling it Mussolini's World Cup, it does keep them in history in a way.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 53:34Speaker 04

  Like they're attached to something that's kind, there's a purity in something good about football and they're, the Qatar World Cup's one of the best World Cups.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  From a football perspective, absolutely.

• 53:44Speaker 04

  So no matter what, you're like, your emotions attach to the football.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 53:54Speaker 04

  I mean, that's pretty good.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  That's pretty good, isn't it?

• 53:56Speaker 07

  Look at Gavin.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Gavin's got, Gavin's got swag.

• 54:00Speaker 04

  Chuck's looking good. Chuck's a wizard.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  Yep. So we're just, just again, if you're listening, we will, we've finally got the, the Mount Rushmore we want, which is a huge Chuck Blazer. And almost in his kind of, um, his blazer pocket, you've got Richard Keys, Errol Musk, Gavin Plum, Mark Fuhrman and Jenny Infantino. Um, now, we should end, we should end with, um, so Maradona goes to the 2018 Cup. That's where, uh, he dies, he has a heart attack somewhere, just after that. A journalist in a Twitter post wrote that while Maradona, oh fuck. So in the 2018 World Cup, um, Maradona was seen making racist gestures to South Korean fans. He made, he did the eyes.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  I, I forgive him.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 04

  Do you know, like, he's on coke, it's Maradona.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  It's Michael Jackson's albums, they're too good. I don't care.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  I'm not denying he did it.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:52Speaker 03

  I'm saying the music's too good.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  That it doesn't get in the way.

• 54:55Speaker 04

  And if I was as much coke as him, I'd be doing it.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'd be doing it. I'd be doing it. We've had half as much coke as him.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  I can't play football.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  I'll be doing it. I don't, I don't take coke and I'll do it.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  Uh, his excuse was, uh, he was trying to tell the Asian boy who was wearing an Argentina jersey, how nice it seemed that even the Asians cheer for his country.

• 55:14Speaker 04

  And how did you decide to do that?

• 55:15Speaker 03

  Did it, oh, yeah. You know, that's just my culture's way of saying thanks. He passes away in 2020 at the age of just 60, uh, and obviously everyone in Napoli and Argentina go fucking mental.

• 55:27Speaker 04

  Well, cause they, they're similar to the way that Messi, uh, there's a religious feeling around.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  He's one of the saints, yeah, he is. Three days of national mourning, that's, that's like, well, when the Queen.

• 55:36Speaker 04

  But isn't there a religion that actually has Maradona as a, as an offshoot?

• 55:39Speaker 03

  In Naples, there is a, there is a sort of cult-like thing.

• 55:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, they have like shrines to them.

• 55:43Speaker 03

  We should end with the Qatar World Cup.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Qatar, is it?

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Qatar.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  Annoying when people make you say that. I don't wanna say that.

• 55:50Speaker 03

  It's like people who say chorizo.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  Fuck off.

• 55:52Speaker 04

  Bad no chocolat.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  Fuck off.

• 55:54Speaker 04

  It's a pain in the shikula.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  You don't wanna croire.

• 55:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  It's a cratton.

• 55:57Speaker 04

  Why do I have to become a different cunt?

• 55:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:00Speaker 04

  Why do I have to change who I am?

• 56:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. I wanna identify as gay for, for, for a word.

• 56:05Speaker 04

  Qatar.

• 56:06Speaker 03

  Qatar.

• 56:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, so it's being hosted in Qatar.

• 56:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 04

  And you also, the Qatar, it means you have to like.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  You know.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Fucking Qatar, the World Cup again, it just doesn't. It's hard to express yourself. It changes the rhythm of your, your sentence.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it does. Anyway.

• 56:21Speaker 04

  Those fucking Qataris.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, the World Cup in Qatar. Now, obviously, you know, modern slavery, migrant workers, um, people are dying building stadiums.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Modern slavery is like being on social media, isn't it?

• 56:33Speaker 03

  Uh, these days.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  What, being on Instagram?

• 56:38Speaker 03

  I'm just fucking logging to Pornhub. I'm a slave, I'm a slave.

• 56:41Speaker 04

  I don't think that's the point I was making.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  That's the point I'm making. I've got to take a photo.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  I'm talking about social media addiction being trapped in there.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've got to take a photo of myself, so I'm fucking logging to Pornhub. I'm a slave. I'm a slave to shadique.

• 56:53Speaker 04

  To end modern slavery.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Unite the Kingdom, end modern slavery. Get rid of this woke nonsense. Anyway, six and a half thousand migrant workers deaths, they think. Now, those people will be Indian mainly, I imagine? Indians are going to Qatar?

• 57:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, Qatar.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  Qatar, sorry, Qatar.

• 57:11Speaker 03

  The Qatari government claimed only 37 deaths, which, okay.

• 57:15Speaker 04

  What have they said now?

• 57:16Speaker 03

  Well, I, you know, I will take the government's word. The Guardian says it's a half thousand, I think that's way overblown. I'd question those numbers. This, now, the main cultural frictions are obviously, firstly, it's the desert, so they have to move the World Cup to Christmas.

• 57:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  Which I suppose is the endpoint of, that started in Mexico in 1970, where you're making players play in midday heat for television audiences. They moved the whole fucking tournament to December. So when people said, oh, this is an aberration, it's been going this way the entire time. LGBTQ community, they're like, well, we can't go there. And then I think Gianni Fantino goes, just don't be gay for a month.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  Yes, he does, yeah.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Which is good advice, you know, just take a month off.

• 57:59Speaker 04

  Just fucking take a month.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Just dry January it for a month.

• 58:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, surely.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  Can you just have a month off the cock for a, do you know what I mean? It's a football tournament, you know? Just pretend you like fannies for a month and go back to doing whatever you're doing, all right? Anyway, so they threaten yellow cards.

• 58:15Speaker 04

  I'm going to, because I'm gay, am I a good way?

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Hi, today, I am gay.

• 58:18Speaker 04

  But in Qatar, I'm...

• 58:19Speaker 03

  In June, I am straight. I'm doing dry June. So FIFA said they're going to show yellow cards against captains planning to wear the One Love. One Love armbands, and also you can't more wear the One Love rasta hats either.

• 58:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  So there's a big thing about Harry Kane, does he wear the armband and get, he gets booked, doesn't he?

• 58:39Speaker 04

  I don't think.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  I think, doesn't he get booked for?

• 58:41Speaker 04

  I mean, I'd rate him a lot if he did, actually stood for something.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  Maybe he didn't, maybe, maybe we should...

• 58:45Speaker 04

  Because there's always that, do you see that stuff about? No, do you see that stuff about Jordan Henderson? Well, it just showed this era through and through. Jordan Henderson was an advocate for LGBT rights.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 58:57Speaker 04

  At the height of wokeness.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  Not the hero they want.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  The hero they got.

• 59:02Speaker 04

  You know, we need to talk about, you know.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:04Speaker 04

  And then he signed with the Saudi club.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Right, yes.

• 59:08Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean?

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  As soon as the money came in.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  If the moral bastion of Jordan Henderson can fall.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  Then what good is there in the world? Um, he's my lodestar.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  He should have changed the name to Jordan Benderson. That would have meant a lot.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  And line up for England, their captain, Jordan Benderson. And they can't even say his name.

• 59:30Speaker 04

  They can't.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  That would, that, that is, that's a true ally.

• 59:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:34Speaker 03

  If you'd change your name to Jordan Benderson.

• 59:36Speaker 04

  I think they'd be like, I don't know if this helps.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't like the word Bender. Shut up. I'm doing it for you.

• 59:42Speaker 04

  I'm an ally.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  I'm an ally, whether you like it or not. You're right. Um, and then obviously the whole thing about booze, obviously common knowledge, the whole thing about booze. Qatar had agreed with FIFA and its $75 million sponsor Budweiser.

• 59:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  That they would allow beer to be sold in the country. Um, because it's, is it, is it a dry country, Qatar? It is. Forty-eight hours before the opening match, they just fuck it, they fuck it off.

• 1:00:09Speaker 04

  Why do they do that?

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  Well, because obviously it's that tension of like, we're a Muslim country versus FIFA's commercial sponsors. And they just decide to maybe there's, I don't know, did they have to pay FIFA the money back?

• 1:00:21Speaker 07

  I don't think it matters really to them.

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  They just don't give a fuck.

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like, they're not going to move the World Cup somewhere else.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  It's two days before. So that's probably why they're doing it.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. So again, it's.

• 1:00:30Speaker 07

  Their net worth is 765 billion.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, you do what you want when you've got that much money.

• 1:00:33Speaker 04

  So there's no alcohol at the World Cup?

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:00:36Speaker 04

  That would suck.

• 1:00:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. And you can't be gay for a month.

• 1:00:40Speaker 04

  What's the point?

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  What's the point? What's the point in going?

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  You can't fucking chuck down daiquiris and go down on Star.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Knock off all the players. What even is football without that? And so ultimately, yet again, there's accusations of sports washing. Although you could say, as you said, that you've made, you've brought the game to the Middle East. But again, it's a tiny country.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  But one of the benefits of Qatar is geographically it being in one city. Everyone was like, this is brilliant.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Yes, that.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  Because they do it across, because the American one is across the continent.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  It's like, if you're being a pundit on there, it doesn't really work. But Qatar, they had all these stadiums in one city.

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  But yet again, the final Argentina, France, did it finish 4-3?

• 1:01:22Speaker 04

  3 all.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  3 all and then pens. One of the greatest finals, one of the greatest games I've ever seen live.

• 1:01:28Speaker 04

  Greatest game of all time, probably.

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  Oh my God, greatest, did you see how Gary Lineker's sign off on that? So, you know, Gary, he had this period where he'd try and end on like a pun.

• 1:01:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  And it was the most historic game and I was just in shock watching it. It was, yeah, probably the greatest sporting event I've ever seen.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  That or the Istanbul 3-0.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, but right at this end is historic thing. Gary, after having all this, they've had this punditry, they're like in shock about Messi.

• 1:01:55Speaker 00

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• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  How many discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi-vehicle discount, safe driver discount, uh, new vehicle discount, storage discount.

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  How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usaa.com/autodisc量 restrictions apply.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  All this incredible tournament. His sign off for the whole World Cup is, it's beginning to look, uh, it's beginning to look Chris Messi. Thank you. I mean, it was so stupid. After all that, the sign off. And thank you, folks. I believe it's beginning to look Chris Messi.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  It's beginning to look a lot like Christmassy, would have been even hard-

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  Or something like that. What was his pun at the end? It's so funny.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  Well, he's past his peak at that point, I think, Lydica.

• 1:03:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  So, I suppose to wrap it up, you know, we're now, the World Cup is now underway.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  In America. I've actually, in doing this series, I've, it's been comforting-

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Almost to know that the World Cup has always been in the gutter.

• 1:03:33Speaker 04

  I mean, what I've learnt is Set Blatter is a high point in the anti-corruption of FIFA, to be honest. And I want to watch that film now to see a brave man who stood up to a corrupt organisation try and change it.

• 1:03:42Speaker 03

  The Martin Luther King of football, Set Blatter. And I look forward to seeing what he does next.

• 1:03:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  And Chuck Blazer as well. Put one out for Chuck.

• 1:03:52Speaker 04

  I think he died.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  He died?

• 1:03:54Speaker 04

  I mean, he must, he's 400 pounds.

• 1:03:57Speaker 07

  He died aged 70 or something, 72.

• 1:03:59Speaker 04

  Good innings, someone that fat.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  First Blazer then, Furman. God, it's a sad day. Sad day for us here at Inversus History.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  Well, that's Gavin Plum.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  If Gavin Plum goes, we will take a week off broadcasting, out of respect. I hope you're sitting down where you are. And all I'll say for me, it's good night from him and from me and from all of us here at Inversus History. It's beginning to look a little Christmassy.

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  Goodbye.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Goodbye.