Pod Insights Elis James and John Robins #538 - Gareth Birthday, Ron Robins and Chapinhanding Tucci About this episode It’s John Robins day. John Robins Contentaggedon. You simply can’t move for Robins. Because John sits at the crest of a content wave. Megatisation, another podcast series, marathon, birthday, millions of interviews and book release have all come as a quick flurry of jabs to the midriff.
But is he all tuckered out? Is it all too much? Clearly not because he’s got another mad mind game on the go that only Robins could formulate. He’s back. He’s back in the big time. He won 9 grand yesterday.
But it’s not all about John, even though today kind of is. Elis is having to accept that The Swans may not trump swans for his son. "Away trip son?" “Well it just feels like a waste of a day.”
Plus, who have you chapinhanded? Let us know via [email protected] mailto:[email protected]
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript 12,590 words · 7 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 Before we start this episode, we want to invite you along to the adventures of Alice and John.
0:04 Speaker 01 If you head over to patreon.com/ellisonjohn, you can join us on our monthly escapades, including...
0:10 Speaker 00 Miniumpicks.
0:11 Speaker 01 It's the strangest legal jump in the history of long jump.
0:14 Speaker 00 Birdwatching.
0:15 Speaker 02 My two favourite things are birds and football.
0:18 Speaker 01 And you can watch our latest episode now, where we tackle an escape room.
0:22 Speaker 03 So John is absolutely flying here. Well, Alice is there as well.
0:26 Speaker 02 Alice is there as well, Dave.
0:27 Speaker 03 We did the first three, Dave, for complete chill.
0:32 Speaker 00 So for adventures and so much more, head over to patreon.com/ellisonjohn now.
0:40 Speaker 02 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets and our shared Google Doc, the Headline Hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalised AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle/workspacewithGemini. That's goo.gle/workspacewithGemini.
1:13 Speaker 04 Network freedom and flexibility. That's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to bill Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
2:05 Speaker 00 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to John and Zoff. It's been a big week for Team Ellis and John, Dave.
2:16 Speaker 03 Is that fully copyrighted or not copyrighted at all? I always forget.
2:20 Speaker 01 It is copyrighted, that's why they never sing it in Friends.
2:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, well done Ellis, that's just cost us a million pounds. Alright then.
2:27 Speaker 01 He's doing a different beat. Have you seen the video about the guy?
2:30 Speaker 00 That was the S4C one to get round that.
2:32 Speaker 01 What comedian is it who does the, um, does the, oh, it's, um, uh, Tim Heidecker, I think.
2:40 Speaker 00 Oh yeah.
2:41 Speaker 01 Who says, have you ever tried singing Happy Birthday but just the intonation of the first line?
2:47 Speaker 00 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
2:51 Speaker 01 No, the intonation of the first line and just keep going.
2:54 Speaker 00 I don't understand. Was I not doing it then?
2:57 Speaker 03 No, you went up a bit. Is it because it's hard to do?
2:59 Speaker 00 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
3:06 Speaker 01 Happy birthday to you.
3:09 Speaker 00 I don't know if we can do this.
3:10 Speaker 01 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
3:17 Speaker 01 Oh, you can, Dave. Who's gonna sue us?
3:20 Speaker 00 Dave, Dave.
3:20 Speaker 03 Mr. Birthday, Gareth's birthday.
3:23 Speaker 01 Gareth's birthday.
3:24 Speaker 00 Dave, I'll pay. It's on me.
3:25 Speaker 01 It's on Ellis!
3:26 Speaker 00 It's on me, again.
3:27 Speaker 03 Okay, fine, go for your life then.
3:30 Speaker 00 No, don't. That's enough, that is enough. But happy birthday for Monday, of course.
3:33 Speaker 01 To you, happy birthday to you.
3:37 Speaker 00 And he suits it. And also, I washed it.
3:40 Speaker 01 I don't suit it. Someone said I looked hungover in a video where I was talking about alcoholism.
3:46 Speaker 01 And someone said that was mean and I thought it was mean.
3:48 Speaker 00 I thought it was mean. I saw an amazing Video on, someone sent it to me and it was, if you were born in 1980 or you're definitely older than these people. And it's like John Thor in the first series of Inspector Morse. He's like 32 or something and it's um.
4:04 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, like the, the, the cast of Neighbours. Like I'm older than Madge and Harold when they started on Neighbours.
4:12 Speaker 00 Really?
4:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's nuts.
4:14 Speaker 03 What was the big one? Victor Meldrew was a big one, wasn't it?
4:16 Speaker 00 Yeah, Victor Meldrew was about 28.
4:19 Speaker 03 That's BS.
4:19 Speaker 00 Absolutely horrible.
4:21 Speaker 03 But no, it is mad.
4:22 Speaker 00 He should have been playing Premier League football.
4:24 Speaker 03 It is quite, it is awful.
4:26 Speaker 01 John Cleese was 18 in 48 hours.
4:28 Speaker 00 It's absolutely horrifying. My Mrs McCloskey in Grinch Hill is about 36. It's just really weird.
4:35 Speaker 01 But no, I, I embrace age. Aging is a privilege.
4:38 Speaker 00 Aging is a privilege. And you're looking good. You look better now than you did in.
4:41 Speaker 01 I look like a corpse.
4:42 Speaker 00 No you don't. Come on, man.
4:44 Speaker 01 The M40 was shut in two sections last night and they didn't tell ya in advance.
4:50 Speaker 00 What, because of a crash?
4:51 Speaker 01 And they don't communicate that with the navigation apps on your phone.
4:55 Speaker 00 Yeah, disgraceful.
4:56 Speaker 01 So one of them's giving you strange routes, the other one's telling you to go to a normal route. And then you think surely it's possible to get your heads together.
5:05 Speaker 00 Yeah.
5:05 Speaker 01 Because you planned these things in advance because you're fixing every single bridge on the M40.
5:10 Speaker 00 So it wasn't, wasn't a, wasn't a, it wasn't a crash. It was planned, engineered, it was planned.
5:16 Speaker 01 So why don't you say, oi, Waze, oi, Google Maps.
5:21 Speaker 03 Apple Maps. There are others.
5:23 Speaker 01 We're shutting the M4 at 10.30 on these two sections on Thursday nights. You might want to tell people about it in advance.
5:33 Speaker 00 What time did you get home, John?
5:35 Speaker 01 I got home about one o'clock and I couldn't get to sleep because I was.
5:40 Speaker 00 So wound up after the drive, yeah.
5:42 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, I was emotionally overstimulated by the book tour.
5:47 Speaker 00 Who interviewed you yesterday, John?
5:49 Speaker 01 It was Ruth Husky.
5:51 Speaker 00 Oh, she's funny. I like her.
5:53 Speaker 01 Oh, she's very funny indeed.
5:55 Speaker 00 Indeed.
5:57 Speaker 01 Indeed.
5:58 Speaker 00 Indeed, yeah. She's funny. She is funny.
6:01 Speaker 01 But also, you can't tell Waze that there's a road closure when it's going through Apple Play in your car.
6:10 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah.
6:11 Speaker 01 It's the only thing it don't let you do that you can do on the app.
6:15 Speaker 00 And you're listening to your sad music, aren't you?
6:17 Speaker 01 I was listening to, um, I believe a Japanese artist who plays piano with, with field recordings of birds in the background. Calm me down.
6:29 Speaker 03 Cool. I went, I went for a run near Mum and Dad's house the other day and I thought the Super Free Animals had put a load of Birdsong over all of their albums because they've all been remastered, but it was, it was actual Birdsong I was hearing. And it was, and they'd added to it.
6:44 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:45 Speaker 01 So what were we talking about?
6:46 Speaker 03 You're tired.
6:47 Speaker 01 I'm very frazzled and I look like a corpse.
6:49 Speaker 00 You're tired. You don't know, no, no, people are broadly supportive.
6:58 Speaker 03 How can you say on a week where you've probably had a hell of a lot of love and adulation that everyone hates you, John? I've seen a lot of people.
7:05 Speaker 00 Because his mind's broken and he can't fix it.
7:08 Speaker 03 I've seen literally dozens of people saying how much they love you this week.
7:11 Speaker 00 He's destined to live a sad life, Dave.
7:15 Speaker 01 But one person said I looked hungover and that's who I'm listening to.
7:19 Speaker 03 Oh, that's such a shame because we do all do that.
7:21 Speaker 01 We do, we do. But no, of course, very grateful and just embracing the light.
7:26 Speaker 00 It's an absolute, it is John Robins content again.
7:30 Speaker 03 It is.
7:31 Speaker 00 And I'm loving it.
7:33 Speaker 01 Do you? Are you still my biggest fan?
7:34 Speaker 00 I listened to part two of Walking the Dog with Emily Dean.
7:38 Speaker 03 Yes.
7:38 Speaker 00 Very good. I will listen to the Comedians Comedian podcast with Steel Goldsmith, your interview on that with, uh, um, a tight on the train on the way to Cardiff. Looking forward to that. I just consume Robbins content.
7:50 Speaker 01 And Emma Barnett's Ready to Talk, where I look hungover.
7:53 Speaker 00 I'll be listening to that, yeah.
7:54 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, it's, uh.
7:56 Speaker 00 I read your piece in The Guardian, or the interview with Simon Hartonstone. Very good.
8:00 Speaker 01 Independent today.
8:01 Speaker 00 In the Independent today.
8:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, giving the lefties all the content they can get.
8:05 Speaker 00 Yes. Are you doing the mail in the express?
8:09 Speaker 01 No.
8:09 Speaker 00 Coward!
8:10 Speaker 01 And I also turned down another opportunity due to the-
8:14 Speaker 00 Beliefs.
8:14 Speaker 01 Due to my beliefs.
8:15 Speaker 00 Good.
8:15 Speaker 03 Oh, that's fine. You have autonomy.
8:18 Speaker 01 You can't be all things to all people.
8:19 Speaker 03 I need to chat to your agents though, because the PR machine that's word into action for this book tour has been pretty impressive.
8:25 Speaker 00 Gotta be honest.
8:26 Speaker 03 You can't, you can't move for Robbins.
8:28 Speaker 00 Yeah. How have they done it? How have, how have they done it? What's he got on them?
8:33 Speaker 03 You're selling a good product.
8:36 Speaker 00 You're gonna end up being the saddest guest on Graham Norton, I think.
8:45 Speaker 00 I can't wait. Everyone else brings their three best anecdotes to Norton. Not John. It's gonna be so serious. And then they'll flip the chair and he won't find it funny. He's been talking about his alcoholism for too long.
8:58 Speaker 01 Or McIntyre comes into my bedroom and I'm just crying.
9:02 Speaker 03 He's already awake.
9:05 Speaker 03 Gotta get here later than this, Michael.
9:07 Speaker 00 Oh, he's having a night tirer.
9:11 Speaker 01 Oh, do more of that.
9:14 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah. It's good. It's the content, it's the content PR machine.
9:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:18 Speaker 00 I walked into my local bookshop on the day it was published.
9:22 Speaker 03 Mm.
9:22 Speaker 00 On Thursday. And Justine said, "He's shifting some copies, your mate."
9:27 Speaker 03 Am I really? This is literally flying off the shelves.
9:29 Speaker 00 Flying off the shelves.
9:30 Speaker 03 This is the epitome of flying off the shelves.
9:32 Speaker 00 And then I said, and I said, "Can I take a photo of one but not buy one because I've already got it?" And she said, "Yes, of course you can."
9:38 Speaker 03 I made a mistake, which I apologize for. I had pre-ordered.
9:41 Speaker 01 Never apologize on the golf course, Dave.
9:44 Speaker 03 Okay. I don't play golf.
9:45 Speaker 01 No, but that's just a phrase. You don't have to apologize to friends. Unless you've done something really bad, or you've been in a bad mood, or you've sent them a mean text.
9:52 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, yeah.
9:53 Speaker 01 Or you've betrayed them.
9:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, you've said sorry to me a few times.
9:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know.
9:57 Speaker 00 You gave me a really big apology once for everything I accepted.
10:04 Speaker 00 I didn't.
10:06 Speaker 03 No, he's got to do more than that for me.
10:07 Speaker 00 I refuse to accept your apology. I've never, I've never refused to accept an apology.
10:11 Speaker 03 Oh, I couldn't do it. I am any, I am putty in anyone's hands once they apologize to me.
10:17 Speaker 00 Gone, in a jiffy, in an instant, wallop.
10:19 Speaker 01 Got to be gone. If it's like a proper apology, not a mealy mouthed, I'm sorry if I upset you because I was.
10:29 Speaker 03 I'm sorry that makes you feel that way.
10:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, mate.
10:32 Speaker 03 Come on, mate.
10:33 Speaker 00 Yeah. No, no, if it's genuine, wallop, gone, forgotten. Goodbye.
10:36 Speaker 03 Well, I apologize because my payment details have bounced, so I've not quite ordered the pre-order yet, but I will get back to it.
10:42 Speaker 01 So are you gonna have the gratis copy?
10:44 Speaker 00 No, I wanna support. I think it's probably being made up for the fact that some people would have forgotten that they'd pre-ordered it. And then they'd have pre-ordered it again, because I did that with Dave Rumtree's. I think I might have given you the second copy.
10:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, you did, actually, yeah.
10:57 Speaker 00 The collection of Dave Rumtree's photos of Blur.
10:59 Speaker 03 Yes.
11:00 Speaker 00 I pre-ordered it as soon as I heard about it, and then I pre-ordered it when I saw an advert on Instagram, and I ended up with two copies, but that was fine. And I think people who've done that with this as well, because of the PR machine.
11:10 Speaker 03 I wonder if people do that on Patreon?
11:11 Speaker 00 No.
11:12 Speaker 03 And then go again.
11:13 Speaker 00 Oh, fingers crossed, that'll be good.
11:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, so there's been the book tour this week, which has been really amazing, and.
11:20 Speaker 00 Who interviewed you in Cardiff?
11:22 Speaker 01 Ben Partridge.
11:23 Speaker 00 Lovely stuff.
11:24 Speaker 01 What a man, what a man, what a mighty, what's that song?
11:26 Speaker 03 What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.
11:29 Speaker 01 Now, we're gonna get double sued now.
11:31 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. It's the same person that wrote Happy Birthday, that's on Gareth's birthday.
11:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, so lovely Lou Sanders, lovely Josie Long, Ben Partridge, Ruth Husko, and Robin Allen on my birthday.
11:45 Speaker 03 Robin on your birthday, I suppose. Where was that, in Oxford?
11:48 Speaker 01 In Oxford, in the Sheldonian, which is crazy, because that's where we matriculated and graduated.
11:53 Speaker 00 What's matriculate mean?
11:55 Speaker 01 That's when you begin your experience in Oxford.
11:58 Speaker 00 What a lot of guff. And I hate it.
12:02 Speaker 03 So did I matriculate Sheffield Hallam?
12:04 Speaker 00 Just call it, just call it fresh as weed.
12:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, come on, it's all bar one.
12:08 Speaker 00 Just call it day one.
12:09 Speaker 03 You have flares.
12:11 Speaker 01 You have a, a day where you officially, with regalias and various robes, you are accepted into the 1% of the 1% and the elites in the Bullingdon Club and you're Prime Minister.
12:24 Speaker 03 Really?
12:25 Speaker 00 You've got to wear robes on day one?
12:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:26 Speaker 00 I guarantee I would have got that wrong.
12:29 Speaker 01 Well, I'm, I've got a moeheken.
12:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
12:31 Speaker 01 That photo of me with a moeheken is on my matriculation day.
12:33 Speaker 03 That's quite cool though.
12:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's quite cool, actually.
12:36 Speaker 00 There is a bit of a juxtaposition there.
12:37 Speaker 01 Come to think of it, I was the coolest guy with a moeheken at Oxford because there was only one other one and I think he was into Warhammer. But fair play to him.
12:47 Speaker 00 I wonder, what degree did he do? It's hard to place the Warhammers, to Warhammer fans, what sort of, something in history?
12:54 Speaker 01 Oh, like applied physics or further maths or engineering maybe?
12:58 Speaker 00 Oh, yes.
13:00 Speaker 01 So, yeah, thank you so much to everyone who sent me very kind messages and, you know, people who read the book immediately after it arriving.
13:09 Speaker 00 Me, hello?
13:10 Speaker 01 And then were very sweet about it. But I am Fraslo Kabraslo.
13:16 Speaker 00 You are? This is the worst bit though.
13:19 Speaker 03 Of what?
13:20 Speaker 00 The first couple of days after it's published because no one else knows how hard you've worked on it.
13:24 Speaker 03 I thought you were about to share the worst bit of the book with him.
13:26 Speaker 00 No, no, God, no, no, no, no, no.
13:28 Speaker 01 Oh, no, it's not about like, no, it's not worse, Dean.
13:31 Speaker 00 No, but this is, this is a strange.
13:32 Speaker 01 It's not worst or best season. It's an, it's the odd like.
13:35 Speaker 00 It's the strangest bit, definitely, because you've worked really hard and suddenly it's out there.
13:39 Speaker 01 But I'm like, I see that in a very, I'm like very positive about just sort of letting go of it. So it's not about like.
13:47 Speaker 00 You don't look positive.
13:50 Speaker 00 With the greatest of respect, you look hungover, John.
13:54 Speaker 01 That's why I've got to consult with a Harley Street surgeon.
13:57 Speaker 00 It's also, it's because you're used to stand up and the radio, when you get, when there was a text concert, you used to immediate feedback. And that's the odd thing with a book.
14:08 Speaker 01 That's true. But also, it's like, I'm, I'm seeing it as more of like, I just sort of, you know, I've been banging on about it for so long. I've been thinking about it for so long. I can kind of let go of it now. It no longer belongs to me.
14:18 Speaker 00 But like, when I was a guest, a panelist on Darrow Breen's Go Eight Bit, I got immediate feedback on Twitter with thousands of people saying, why is he on this? He doesn't like
14:32 Speaker 00 But it was immediate. I knew. It was immediate feedback.
14:35 Speaker 03 You'd made a mistake.
14:36 Speaker 00 Because if I'd worked for two years to be on Darrow Breen's Go Eight Bit.
14:40 Speaker 01 Wondering how the Fortnite scene were going to react.
14:42 Speaker 00 Yeah. And then it took nine months for people to watch the programme. That would have left me in a very strange mental space, I think.
14:48 Speaker 03 Have, have you got a book in you? Because you're a good writer.
14:51 Speaker 01 He is a good writer.
14:52 Speaker 03 I've seen your writing.
14:53 Speaker 01 It will be The Guardian's, it would be like a sort of collection of The Guardian's 100 best articles about Welsh football. And they all happen to be by Elis James. So it's sort of a weird compendium of one man's.
15:07 Speaker 00 I've only got, I would, I've only got 81 to go. No, 79 to go, I think. I've been 21 pieces about Welsh football.
15:15 Speaker 01 Do you write collections of essays?
15:18 Speaker 00 Yeah. I mean, I've considered a Welsh.
15:20 Speaker 01 A funny thing happened on the way to the stadium to Elis James by Elis James.
15:26 Speaker 00 The, the two obvious ones would be a Welsh, a book about Welsh music. I was, do you know what? I was, I was on a documentary about the history of Welsh music this week. And I was asked to discuss the Holy Bible by the Manic Street Preachers as their magnum. And I kept referring to it as the Holy Vible.
15:46 Speaker 03 Which is your book.
15:47 Speaker 00 Which is the book I wrote with John a few years ago. Till the, in the end, the director said, let's move on to Everything Must Go Next album, because we'll have to do it in ADR. I just could not say Bible.
15:57 Speaker 03 No, because it's etched in your mind.
15:59 Speaker 00 It's etched in my mind.
16:00 Speaker 01 I had a funny joke last night when Ruth was interviewing me about Thirst and she said, how did it differ from writing the Holy Vible? And I said, well, I wrote the same amount of each. Big laugh. It was being mean.
16:14 Speaker 03 Oh, oh, right. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:16 Speaker 00 And I wasn't even there to defend myself.
16:21 Speaker 01 There's a bit of humour.
16:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:22 Speaker 03 So there's humour.
16:23 Speaker 00 Yeah. I'd like another one of your big apologies, please.
16:28 Speaker 00 Or about Welsh football as the other, but I don't know.
16:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:31 Speaker 00 It's, I've, I've watched John struggle over a book and I've watched Izzy struggle over a book and watched like a behest.
16:37 Speaker 03 It's a lot, isn't it?
16:38 Speaker 00 It's so much book.
16:40 Speaker 03 But you've got to really believe in yourself, I imagine, because you.
16:42 Speaker 01 Nah, you can hate yourself and write a book, Dave.
16:44 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, that's definitely true.
16:46 Speaker 03 Because you get halfway through and I'll be like, what have I, I can't remember what I've written now. I can't really remember why I'm writing this. I don't really remember the tone that I'm meant to be writing in.
16:54 Speaker 00 I can't remember why I'm writing this.
16:56 Speaker 03 Honestly, but.
16:56 Speaker 00 Money made the moolah.
16:58 Speaker 03 It's over such a period of time, you just must be in so many different mindsets as you're trying to write this consistent piece that someone like Ellis would read in two days. That's quite a challenge.
17:06 Speaker 00 I am a fast reader.
17:08 Speaker 03 You are a fast reader. I'll give you that. I'll tell you what about you. I'll give you that.
17:12 Speaker 01 But once you've finished, I think this is a good advice for anyone doing anything.
17:18 Speaker 01 That's a bit broad.
17:19 Speaker 03 Do you want to stick to book writing with it, maybe?
17:21 Speaker 01 But like, anyone making something, it's always starts off bad. Like.
17:28 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
17:29 Speaker 01 You're, no one is ever reading the first draft. No one is ever watching the first take. No one is ever listening to the first recording. So you do go through all those headspaces and you do struggle and it is clunky and it doesn't make sense. And then you finish the first draft and that's sort of when you begin writing it.
17:46 Speaker 00 The best Edinburgh shows you've ever seen, stand-up shows, will be unrecognisable from the very first preview.
17:52 Speaker 03 Right.
17:52 Speaker 00 And the very first preview might only have been 10 minutes.
17:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:56 Speaker 00 Of of some ideas. So because they showed they changed so quickly and they changed so much over the course of months and months. But yeah, so you've just got to, don't get it right, get it written. That's what they say.
18:08 Speaker 01 Um, also, thank you for my birthday backs. He never forgets. It's up to 111 pounds now.
18:16 Speaker 00 Nothing. It it it is the best indicator, it's the best personal indicator for me of inflation. Because it was 80 pound in 2016 and he he he argued for it to rise in line with inflation.
18:30 Speaker 03 Because he's a mate.
18:33 Speaker 01 I can't remember whether it's RPI or the um.
18:37 Speaker 00 I use the Bank of England.
18:39 Speaker 03 But you couldn't.
18:40 Speaker 01 So it's not representative of the shopping in your basket.
18:44 Speaker 03 But you couldn't set it up as a standing order either, could you? Because that wouldn't take into account. Inflation.
18:49 Speaker 00 So every every year on May the 4th, I go, I put 80 pound 2016 into the Bank of England. Inflation calculator and I am staggered.
19:01 Speaker 01 You never know, in the future, there may be periods of deflation. The UK economy may contract massively.
19:06 Speaker 00 Fingers crossed.
19:07 Speaker 01 Big boom for you.
19:10 Speaker 00 What did you do on your birthday? Did you do anything special on your birthday?
19:13 Speaker 01 I, um, well, it was the Oxford thirst tour show.
19:17 Speaker 00 Of course.
19:18 Speaker 01 Uh, so I met Robin and Ruth and we went for um, hot dogs and walked around the university parks and thought about the past. Looked at the trees because they label all the trees. So you know what type of tree it is. And I saw a duck. And then we did the show and then I just drove home.
19:34 Speaker 00 Hot dogs and you saw a duck? I mean, that's a birthday for the under 60s.
19:40 Speaker 01 Well, it's a fallow year for the old birthday because I'm working a lot at the minute.
19:44 Speaker 00 I took my son, well, no, I didn't actually. I went to watch the Swans play Charlton on Saturday, final game of the season. Swansea's 13, Charlton 1.
19:53 Speaker 01 Oh, great. Well done.
19:54 Speaker 00 And um.
19:54 Speaker 01 Where are you in the table?
19:55 Speaker 00 Like 11th, I think.
19:57 Speaker 01 That's exciting.
19:58 Speaker 00 And I.
20:00 Speaker 00 And I said to Steph, I said, hey, you fancy going to watch the Swans on Saturday? He went, what do you mean? And I said, do you want to go watch the football on Saturday? And me and Mam G, grandmother, you know, she'll be there as well. It'll be good. I've got tickets for the three of us. And he went. How long will it take? And I said, well, obviously the game's 90 minutes, but got to get there early because we'll be leaving Carmarthen and then we can have something to eat beforehand. And then obviously we'll be on the train on the way back to Carmarthen. There'll be a really fun day. And he just went, it, it just seems like a waste of a day.
20:31 Speaker 00 And I said, oh, so my mother took in bird watching instead and I went on my own.
20:37 Speaker 01 You watched the swans and he watched some swans.
20:39 Speaker 00 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think he thought I was offering him to watch the opportunity to watch swans.
20:44 Speaker 01 Ellis, you've just got to accept you're never, ever, ever going to have anything in common with your son. And that's okay.
20:50 Speaker 00 I, um, I, it was when he said, it just feels like a waste of a day.
20:55 Speaker 01 We need to drive from London to Carmarthen.
20:58 Speaker 00 It did. Well, he got to see his grandmother and his grandfather. He went to visit dad as well.
21:02 Speaker 01 The best grandmother in the world. I know how far that is.
21:04 Speaker 00 Yeah. It just, it just.
21:05 Speaker 01 It's five hours in a car.
21:10 Speaker 00 It just felt like he'd hit me with one of life's great universal truths. And I thought, have I been wasting my life?
21:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:17 Speaker 00 Should I have been bird watching all of these years?
21:18 Speaker 03 I'm off to watch City tomorrow. And I think if Lila turned around to me and said, that is a big old waste of a day, dad, I'd find that tough to take.
21:26 Speaker 01 But at least it's near your house.
21:27 Speaker 03 It is, but it's, it's, it's still a 40 minute journey. It's not five hours, but.
21:32 Speaker 00 No. And then I, and then I went to the pub after the game and I was chatting to some mates and I were like, are we all wasting our time? And everyone was staring into their pants going, God, I think we are. Are we?
21:43 Speaker 01 Oh, no. Yeah. It's not worth really interrogating some of your passions too much.
21:47 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:48 Speaker 01 Because if you, like, if I clocked up the amount of time I've spent
21:56 Speaker 01 playing word games on my phone, it would be months. But then actually I don't regret that because it's part of my sort of chill, chill acting process.
22:03 Speaker 00 Yeah. Well, that's the thing. But that's a very interesting phrase, interrogating your passions. I'm cycling from Cardiff to 10pm tomorrow, which is 110 miles. I can't wait, but why?
22:12 Speaker 03 Me and my brother in law.
22:13 Speaker 01 Actually, I did realise yesterday I do something quite insane. Where, you know, when your apps need updating on your phone?
22:20 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:21 Speaker 01 There'll be like 18 apps.
22:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
22:23 Speaker 01 And you hit update all.
22:27 Speaker 01 I, I hold my breath and then everyone that updates before I breathe, I get a thousand pounds.
22:34 Speaker 03 He's back. I love these.
22:35 Speaker 01 I've done that every single time.
22:37 Speaker 03 Have you really?
22:38 Speaker 01 I'm updating my apps on my phone, but I won nine grand yesterday.
22:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, congrats.
22:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:43 Speaker 03 And you got apps that are updated.
22:44 Speaker 01 And sometimes you're like, sometimes they're taking ages because there's a big update and you're like, well, once this one pops, I'm going to get loads of small ones through, so I'll maybe make another four or five grand.
22:54 Speaker 03 For the 10th, for the 10th one that you couldn't hold your breath for, were you, were you disappointed?
22:59 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, always. But sometimes I manage to do it for all of them and just go a bit lightheaded and get a headache.
23:03 Speaker 03 So cool.
23:04 Speaker 01 You know, with 21 grand in my pocket.
23:06 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, you're the real winner.
23:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, big time, big time. I mean, actually it's weird because Apple haven't sent any of the money through yet.
23:14 Speaker 01 And it's been.
23:15 Speaker 03 Quarter of a million quid though, isn't it?
23:16 Speaker 01 Easily. Oh yeah. I mean, apps update every other day now for some reason.
23:22 Speaker 01 But.
23:22 Speaker 03 But you'll get that, you'll, you'll come through.
23:24 Speaker 01 I probably regret spending my time doing that because I could just hit update all and then put my phone down, but.
23:31 Speaker 03 It's good, it's good long practice though.
23:32 Speaker 01 Come on, Bolt. I've never used you. Come on, Bolt.
23:36 Speaker 03 I don't, I don't think I do what you do. So what? So you can just go in and just update all your apps in one go?
23:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, on the, your home screen, if you go to, on the app store, there'll be a little number next to it.
23:45 Speaker 03 I just, I just wait until they hassle me. Yeah, I just never go into the app store.
23:49 Speaker 01 What?
23:49 Speaker 03 I never go into the app store.
23:50 Speaker 01 Show me your phone at once. I'm, I'm often.
23:54 Speaker 03 I love it when he's stern.
23:55 Speaker 01 Amazed by people who are like, oh, I haven't got the most recent edition of WhatsApp.
23:59 Speaker 03 Don't go in photos.
24:01 Speaker 01 Okay, I'm not, I've just turned on photos. Well, have you got nudes in there?
24:04 Speaker 03 No, I'm just kidding. I wait, I wait until they hassle me.
24:06 Speaker 01 Where's your app?
24:07 Speaker 03 That is hidden away on page two. I don't need it.
24:09 Speaker 01 It should be front and centre.
24:10 Speaker 03 Why? I don't need it. I go, I, I get a new app once every six months.
24:13 Speaker 01 No, but your apps, it's security, Dave. It's really important actually.
24:17 Speaker 03 Well, I've got it hidden away.
24:19 Speaker 01 But you can't even find your, you can't even find the app store on your home screen.
24:24 Speaker 03 Why don't you search for it?
24:26 Speaker 01 Oh my God, people are different. App store.
24:30 Speaker 03 It is, right. So what are we looking at here? Have I got any to update? How many need updating?
24:35 Speaker 01 What, what's this then?
24:40 Speaker 01 You've got a new futuristic iOS, Dave.
24:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
24:43 Speaker 01 I feel a thousand years old.
24:45 Speaker 00 I've got that.
24:45 Speaker 01 I don't like it.
24:46 Speaker 00 I updated it last night.
24:47 Speaker 03 It probably does it automatically, John, doesn't it?
24:48 Speaker 00 What's new on the App Store and Apple Arcade? I don't get it. More granular age ratings.
24:53 Speaker 01 Accessibility nutrition labels. I think they do it automatically now.
24:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, so I never have to hold my breath.
24:59 Speaker 01 Oh, well, you've missed out on so much money.
25:02 Speaker 00 I've got 72 apps that need updating.
25:05 Speaker 01 Oh, just hit update now, please, or I can't, I won't do any more of the show ever.
25:10 Speaker 00 No, why?
25:10 Speaker 01 Because you need to.
25:11 Speaker 00 Because I'm happy with them as they are.
25:13 Speaker 01 No, it's security. It's making them work better, you can't.
25:18 Speaker 00 But they work fine as they are.
25:19 Speaker 01 No, they don't. Press update on them or I won't ever speak again or I'll hold my breath until I'm sick.
25:24 Speaker 03 They're fine.
25:25 Speaker 00 No. Oh, yeah, there we go, done it.
25:28 Speaker 01 Have you?
25:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:29 Speaker 01 He has and he's lying. Why wouldn't you want your apps to be updated?
25:32 Speaker 00 Because they're fine as they are.
25:34 Speaker 01 No, they're not fine.
25:37 Speaker 01 It's updating for productivity and connectivity and security. You might get hacked.
25:41 Speaker 00 Zoff's young. Zoff, do you update your apps?
25:44 Speaker 03 Automatically. Zoff are getting the autos. Just, we're doing it. We're getting it done.
25:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's fine.
25:49 Speaker 00 Jenny's young. Jenny, do you update your apps?
25:51 Speaker 03 Automatically for Jenny. Michael.
25:54 Speaker 00 Michael does it manually.
25:55 Speaker 01 Vanelis doesn't do it at all.
25:57 Speaker 03 No.
25:57 Speaker 00 I update the important ones. I updated WhatsApp the other day.
26:01 Speaker 01 They're all important, though, because they could all provide access to your phone from hackers.
26:06 Speaker 00 Other than I don't even use.
26:07 Speaker 01 Exactly.
26:08 Speaker 03 No, you should update, to be fair. I'm kind of playing along with you because I like to be on your side with this sort of stuff. But John does make a good point.
26:24 Speaker 02 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle/workspacewithgemini. That's goo.gle/workspacewithgemini.
26:57 Speaker 04 Network freedom and flexibility. That's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to build Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
27:30 Speaker 01 Well, before we read your emails, folks, there's news of another huge release, a summer blockbuster coming soon to a cinematic universe near you.
27:41 Speaker 03 Coming now.
27:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, coming now.
27:43 Speaker 03 As in it's out now.
27:44 Speaker 01 But they don't say coming now, do they?
27:47 Speaker 03 No, because, no, they don't.
27:48 Speaker 01 They would say out now. I should have said out now.
27:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:50 Speaker 01 Dave, I apologize.
27:51 Speaker 03 Thank you, John, I accept it.
27:54 Speaker 00 Out now. Do you remember, we interviewed Red Pepper on Monday on Five.
27:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, we did, yeah.
27:59 Speaker 00 Out now. Because I think we got it.
28:00 Speaker 01 In a world.
28:01 Speaker 00 I'm not sure. Did he, did he agree to say Ellis and John? Because I think he's actually quite funny about using his voice.
28:09 Speaker 03 I thought he was quite generous with his.
28:11 Speaker 00 I can't remember.
28:11 Speaker 01 I think we were told he wouldn't and he did.
28:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:14 Speaker 00 Yes, that was it.
28:15 Speaker 01 So.
28:16 Speaker 00 In a world.
28:17 Speaker 01 A marathon mega special is now available on the Ellis and John Patreon.
28:21 Speaker 03 Yes.
28:22 Speaker 01 And we've got a little bit of a teaser for it here, haven't we, Dave?
28:26 Speaker 03 Adventures ep number two is out now. And we do, here's what I suppose the best audible bits of a visual product sound like.
28:33 Speaker 01 Hmm.
28:47 Speaker 01 I'm a runner. I'm running London Marathon.
28:50 Speaker 00 I have just eaten a carbonara, half a pizza. And for lunch I had mac and cheese and another half of a pizza. It's unsustainable.
29:01 Speaker 01 But there is something about the sheer scale of London. 750,000 people are going to be watching, which is just sort of... I mean, obviously, they're not just watching me. They're not going to go home when I run past. But it feels quite big. Come on, Dave. There's lots of people passing you. Where are you, Dave? It is just 26 miles, Dave. Get him over. 10 kilometres. Feel OK. The water's hard to find, though, because they change what side of the road it's on. I'll be writing to them and making some suggestions.
29:36 Speaker 05 There's a big Welsh flag over there, and I'm just getting this deep, really profound urge to try and come reconnect.
29:44 Speaker 01 How am I still in Greenwich? How is everyone still in Greenwich?
29:48 Speaker 00 Well, we've just seen him at 22 miles. I must admit, I didn't realise how emotional I would find that. I actually burst into tears when I gave him a hug. And I said I was proud of him.
30:04 Speaker 01 A strange experience.
30:07 Speaker 01 Wow.
30:09 Speaker 00 I've had an absolutely brilliant day, and the best thing is I haven't run a footstep.
30:14 Speaker 00 Oh, no, that's not true. We had to get under the underpass, so I did burst into a sort of light jog.
30:22 Speaker 03 Lovely stuff.
30:24 Speaker 01 And shout out to Gareth.
30:27 Speaker 03 Our visual producer, Gareth.
30:29 Speaker 00 He is incredible.
30:30 Speaker 03 Has done one hell of a job of a...
30:31 Speaker 00 He is absolutely amazing.
30:32 Speaker 03 It's 40 minutes, and it's great.
30:34 Speaker 01 We might lose him to Hollywood. You know that.
30:37 Speaker 03 No, he'll take us with him to Hollywood.
30:40 Speaker 00 Yeah, he'll just win an Oscar.
30:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:43 Speaker 00 We've, we've got a very talented group of people working for us.
30:47 Speaker 01 Yes.
30:47 Speaker 03 We've got a good recruitment drive, haven't we?
30:49 Speaker 00 Recruitment policy, yeah.
30:50 Speaker 01 Uh, so.
30:51 Speaker 00 I can't wait, I can't wait to be replaced.
30:54 Speaker 01 Head to patreon.com forward slash Ellis and John to sign up to access all that, plus bonus content.
31:00 Speaker 03 Ad free content, bonus content.
31:03 Speaker 01 Also, there's a video of me trying to remove gold from pasta, but they, for some reason, the bit where I mentioned that the salt has gold on it didn't make the edit. So it just looks like I put gold in some pasta.
31:15 Speaker 00 Yeah.
31:16 Speaker 01 It was a very strange situation at my Airbnb where they had gold, they had like a display, salt, pepper and mustard with gold in.
31:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:25 Speaker 01 Like gold coated pepper.
31:27 Speaker 00 Right.
31:28 Speaker 01 And I didn't, I thought that, it's like literally covered in gold.
31:31 Speaker 00 So completely inedible.
31:32 Speaker 01 No, it's like, you know, you can eat gold, you get gold food.
31:36 Speaker 00 Can you?
31:37 Speaker 01 Yeah. And you get like stuff covered in gold flake and things. And yeah, what was that drink with?
31:42 Speaker 03 Yeah. Oh, a Goldschlager.
31:44 Speaker 01 Goldschlager, crikey Moses and Jesus and all his disciples.
31:49 Speaker 03 It cut your throat as it went down. So your, the alcohol got into your bloodstream.
31:53 Speaker 01 Rubbish.
31:54 Speaker 03 It's a swizz, is what it is.
31:56 Speaker 01 Do you remember Goldschlager?
31:56 Speaker 00 I don't remember this. I remember Grolsch.
31:58 Speaker 01 Goldschlager was in a clear bottle. Yeah, gold Grolsch. Goldschlager was in a clear bottle and they would often uplight it on the bar.
32:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:07 Speaker 01 And all the gold.
32:08 Speaker 00 He must have been drinking a different place. I've never even heard of this drink.
32:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, it was big in like 2003.
32:13 Speaker 01 So anyway, I didn't notice that there was a normal salt and pepper. No normal mustard though. So gold mustard would.
32:19 Speaker 00 Gold mustard?
32:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know.
32:20 Speaker 00 That can't be right.
32:21 Speaker 01 It's right. I've got a photo of it. I've got a video of it on my phone.
32:24 Speaker 00 Who did you, who did you get the Airbnb off Richard Bronson?
32:27 Speaker 01 It was very fa- fancy.
32:30 Speaker 00 It looked nice. It looked nice on the telly. Yeah.
32:32 Speaker 01 So anyway, I was making my pasta and I salted the water and this slick of gold appeared on the top.
32:38 Speaker 00 Ruined your marathon. You'd eaten too much gold the night before.
32:41 Speaker 01 That's what I thought. I didn't want, imagine that you S'd yourself in go- in gold.
32:46 Speaker 03 That's been quite impressive.
32:47 Speaker 00 No one would be able to tell because it'll come out as gold. You know, people are like, God, he's flushed. Gold shorts.
32:53 Speaker 03 So that was a bonus bit of content on the old Patreon, wasn't it?
32:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, and there's also a bonus of me and Dave at the expo.
32:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, and just with the main app, Gareth's done an amazing edit, but it is, I know, and we are biased, but it's quite special. I think it is quite, it's quite emotional.
33:06 Speaker 01 We've cut out all of the very long videos where I'm being really, really negative, which I think adds to it.
33:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:12 Speaker 00 It's also, it is, it is TV quality, 40 minutes.
33:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, we do these adventures once a month, so we have another one coming next month. Where could we possibly be next month?
33:23 Speaker 00 Monte Carlo to eat more gold food.
33:27 Speaker 03 Right. Yeah, patreon.com slash Alison John.
33:30 Speaker 01 And now to the emails. This is from Mike P. Hi, boys. Having just been working towards triple Retro One-er status, I was listening to your final Radio X podcast, number 264, and also your latest Five Live Globo Explosion podcast, number 536, and realised that you've now successfully completed 800 official podcasts. It's gonna be way more than that, isn't it?
33:54 Speaker 03 It depends, contractually.
33:55 Speaker 01 It's actually, I think it's probably impossible to count.
33:59 Speaker 00 I'm sure AI could do it.
34:01 Speaker 03 No, you could count. It's all.
34:02 Speaker 01 Dave could get AI on it.
34:03 Speaker 03 No, no, no, it's all on, it's all on the streams, but some of them weren't numbered and stuff.
34:06 Speaker 01 Bonus podcasts when we stood in for Drive on X.
34:10 Speaker 00 Are they not numbered?
34:11 Speaker 01 I don't think they're numbered.
34:12 Speaker 00 There's not that many of those, though.
34:14 Speaker 01 There were quite a few. I did quite a few weeks of Drive.
34:16 Speaker 03 You did, you did.
34:17 Speaker 01 When you weren't around.
34:18 Speaker 00 I lost weight when we did Drive because I used to cycle in and we were still doing the Saturday show, so I was cycling about 100 miles a week.
34:26 Speaker 03 Were you? There was a filing error one week, so therefore the podcast was released in two halves.
34:31 Speaker 01 Really?
34:31 Speaker 03 So there's these little, these little quirks.
34:33 Speaker 00 I'm sure someone could do it. I mean, we've, we've sent men to the moon.
34:41 Speaker 01 Very good. This is for, I haven't read these, by the way, so.
34:45 Speaker 03 Going in cold.
34:46 Speaker 01 This is about lovemaking, so.
34:48 Speaker 00 Oh, this is quite a. A lot of lovemaking. We've had so many public opposition emails and, and I love this, thank you listeners for getting behind me. So many about French Rugby League.
34:58 Speaker 03 Let's forward them on to distant pod.
34:59 Speaker 00 No, come on.
35:00 Speaker 01 That really is an odd sort of Venn diagram of this show.
35:03 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
35:04 Speaker 01 Like dogging and rugby in France.
35:07 Speaker 00 And French Rugby League, not Rugby Union. I cannot express, you know, I cannot emphasise that enough.
35:11 Speaker 03 So.
35:13 Speaker 00 It's one of those things.
35:13 Speaker 01 Before Ellis starts talking about rugby.
35:16 Speaker 00 It would just be, it would be an impossible elevator pitch, wouldn't it? Dogging marathons, French Rugby League, sadness, alcoholism.
35:24 Speaker 01 So this, if you do have young ears listening who are good at sort of reading between the lines, maybe put those ears under those cute little ear defenders you get at festivals. This is from Bene. Moto Bene.
35:44 Speaker 00 Oh yeah, Bene.
35:45 Speaker 01 Dear Ellis and John, I spent a decade studying at Durham University. On one occasion, towards the end of my studies, I clandestinely camped on the riverbanks in a hidden location, offering unparalleled views of the UNESCO Cathedral. I've walked around those riverbanks many a time. To my horror, I stirred from an afternoon nap to the sound of, were you at a low ebb, Bene?
36:06 Speaker 01 To my horror, I stirred from an afternoon nap to the sound of what turned out to be a teenage hanky panky. As I'm sure you're aware, wild camping is forbidden in the UK and surely all the more so on a UNESCO World Heritage site. That sounds remarkably like the sort of thing, mad thing I would have done at uni. I was like camped 100 yards from where my bedroom was.
36:25 Speaker 00 Aren't you like an afternoon nap?
36:27 Speaker 01 I do. So I found myself in a strange situation where I couldn't say anything or make myself known to the public exhibitionists, lest my secret camp be exposed. I think I put my fingers in my ears and rolled over, just hoping time would fast forward. Most uncomfortable, but worth it for the views and thrill of a successful secret camp. I've been living in the remote North Albanian Mountains since 2020. Wow. Through the pandemic and your voices have helped me through some lonely and difficult times. So thank you for the laughs and comfort that you've given me. I would sort of love to live in the Albanian Mountains for a bit.
37:01 Speaker 00 Look at them. Look at those bad boys.
37:03 Speaker 01 Game of grill.
37:05 Speaker 00 I was meant to go to Albania to watch Wales play football, but I couldn't for some reason.
37:09 Speaker 01 That is beautiful.
37:11 Speaker 00 We could have met up.
37:12 Speaker 01 The accursed mountains, they're called. So I want to go to the accursed mountains.
37:19 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I'm going there. Dave, send me that link, please. Can you email me that link? Thank you, Benny.
37:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, I've just Googled Albanian mountains, John, so.
37:27 Speaker 01 This is from Leah in Bristol. Last year, me and my husband went on holiday to the south of France with our two-year-old daughter. We stayed in a holiday flat right next to a little beach. As our toddler wakes extremely early, we took turns each morning taking her for a walk on the beach in the early hours so the other parent could get some kip. It was very sweet. We'd watch the sunrise and say hello to the ducks and seagulls until one morning we toddled down the beach to find a couple in an intimate position. I first assumed they'd slept there, only to see that they'd arrived in separate cars. For my money, they'd got up early for a clandestine rendezvous, only to be interrupted by a two-year-old yelling ducks at eight forty-five a.m. Pretty sure we ruined their morning. All the thanks for all the laughs, Leah from Bristol.
38:10 Speaker 00 I s- I s- I saw some once. I went to some. I went to a party when I was a student in Cardiff. I got very drunk. It was at someone else's house. And I th- I just, I, I ended up in, on someone's bed, fast asleep.
38:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:29 Speaker 00 Um, and then at about seven in the morning, there was an awful lot of shuffling. I thought, what's going on there then? And there was a couple who I didn't know. I didn't, I'd never met them before. I didn't know they were, they were engaging in an act of congress.
38:45 Speaker 01 Yeah. Did they know you were there?
38:47 Speaker 00 Well, I'd, I'd been asleep on the bed for ages.
38:49 Speaker 01 And they're on the bed as well?
38:50 Speaker 00 They were, no, they, they were on the floor.
38:52 Speaker 01 They might not have known you were there.
38:54 Speaker 00 Well, I mean, I was, I was lying on the bed. I wasn't under the covers.
38:57 Speaker 01 And you do snore.
38:58 Speaker 00 And I do snore. And I would have snored then, yeah, probably, because I'd had a lot, I'd had many cans.
39:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:04 Speaker 00 And so I sort of opened my eyes, saw what was going on. I thought, oh, it's not gonna be, that's not gonna take very long, is it? I'll just, I'll just.
39:10 Speaker 01 Well, I'll just stay there.
39:12 Speaker 00 Okay, okay. Well, what would you have done?
39:14 Speaker 01 Do you know what? It's whether I thought they knew I was there. If they knew I was there, I'd have gone, hey, guys, can I just nip out at this stage?
39:21 Speaker 00 No, they were both naked as well, that's the thing.
39:24 Speaker 01 Okay.
39:24 Speaker 00 I don't know. So I, so I, and they, they thought I was asleep. And they were both extremely drunk, right? So I thought, oh, it's not gonna take very long. So I just, I just closed my eyes.
39:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:36 Speaker 00 And then it did take a very long time.
39:38 Speaker 03 Fair play.
39:39 Speaker 00 And then, uh, so I was just lying there pretending to be sleep for ages as my hangover was kicking in. And I needed something to eat. I needed something to drink.
39:47 Speaker 03 No, I don't want to hear that.
39:48 Speaker 00 They were both extremely drunk. And when, when, when it had come to an end, he went, she said, I'm cold. And he went, oh, that's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I mean, you know, student houses are broadly discussed.
39:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:59 Speaker 00 He went, I'll sort it. I'll sort it. I'll sort it. And he went into the bathroom. And you know, the, the sort of C shaped mat you get around a toilet.
40:09 Speaker 03 You're kidding me.
40:11 Speaker 00 That and a bath mat that was wet. And he went, well, let's, we'll get into this.
40:15 Speaker 03 Oh, my lord.
40:16 Speaker 00 And they pointed at me and said, he's on the bed. So they say, try to get under the sort of C shaped toilet urine mat. I just lay there.
40:27 Speaker 03 Student living is eye opening.
40:29 Speaker 00 And I thought, what I'll do, I thought, I'll give them 15 minutes under the mat. And then I'll pretend that I've just woken up. So I waited for about quarter of an hour and then I went, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, and he's gone. And the nice stuff, I walked out the room.
40:44 Speaker 03 Oh, and you're a nice chap in a, but also in the, you, yeah.
40:49 Speaker 00 But they, I wasn't watching them.
40:52 Speaker 03 No, no, no. But the whole story, there's, there's moral quandaries.
40:55 Speaker 00 Well, of course there is.
40:56 Speaker 03 I don't think you've done anything wrong.
40:57 Speaker 00 No, but I had my eyes closed. I wasn't watching them.
40:59 Speaker 03 No.
41:00 Speaker 00 I'm not a voyeur.
41:01 Speaker 03 No, you're not a heaping Tom.
41:03 Speaker 00 I thought it's going to be so embarrassing for everyone. So I just, I just was lying there with my eyes clenched closed.
41:08 Speaker 03 It's very, that's, you've gone through, you've gone to hell and back there. And you've done it to make, well, just to make sure they didn't feel embarrassed by the fact that they suddenly realised you were a witness to it.
41:19 Speaker 00 I would be very embarrassed if that was me.
41:21 Speaker 03 That's very thoughtful.
41:22 Speaker 00 So, yeah. And then, and then I remember I got up, I, I pretended I was still just, I was like sort of looking at the wardrobes so I didn't, so I didn't concentrate at their bodies. Cause I was a gentleman.
41:33 Speaker 01 The coldest I've ever been at night was when I was staying at a friend's in Manchester and he'd put me up on an air bed. But he'd. He just like only given me a very thin, almost like a decorational blanket.
41:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
41:47 Speaker 01 Because he didn't have a.
41:48 Speaker 00 It's like the grandmothers have on settees.
41:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, so he, he gave me that and it was sort of okay, but then as I, as I went to sleep, the airbed slowly, slowly deflated until I was actually touching the hard floor beneath. I was so cold that then the floor made me cold that what I did is I put back on all my clothes and got under the airbed. So I slept, I slept on the hard wooden floor with a deflated airbed on top of me. Oh, it was awful.
42:15 Speaker 00 This is all quite bleak.
42:17 Speaker 01 Right, everyone, it's time for us to check in with Adrian. And you know what? I've got a weird feeling today that Adrian's just set aside so much time for us and he's not in a hurry at all.
42:30 Speaker 06 I can tell you Labour have lost control of Blackburn Council because Reform and independents want enough seats to take the authority into no overall control. The aforementioned, the aforementioned Wales Bosnia game was something which upset our man Elis James very much, very, very much, Laurie. He was even worse than you.
42:51 Speaker 00 Me and Ellis both.
42:51 Speaker 06 Are you over it, are you over it yet, Ellis?
42:56 Speaker 00 I will become upset again in June when the tournament starts.
43:00 Speaker 06 Okay, all right.
43:01 Speaker 00 So I'm currently in a sort of numb limbo.
43:03 Speaker 06 Yeah. And can you explain the De Haan voting system?
43:06 Speaker 00 Yes, I've got a politics degree.
43:08 Speaker 06 Okay.
43:09 Speaker 00 Don't do it.
43:10 Speaker 06 What's a disappointing answer? Can't you just get into the narrative? Oh, it's too complicated, we know what's happening, et cetera.
43:16 Speaker 00 But I, I, I won't. I'll let the listeners Google it.
43:19 Speaker 01 No, explain it with the mister, I've got a politics.
43:22 Speaker 06 Oh, that's exactly, John, it's exactly the kind of thing.
43:24 Speaker 01 Okay, there we go.
43:25 Speaker 06 John, you, you, you just, you look it up, you'll, that's right up your street, John, I must say.
43:30 Speaker 01 Is it?
43:30 Speaker 06 Oh, the complexity of it. It makes my toes ache a little bit. It's, um, anyway, how are you both? Just quickly checking in. We've got to move back on to the serious business of politics very shortly. All well in your life, John?
43:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, sorry, I don't know what I can and can't say, Adrian, but I'll see you on Wednesday.
43:48 Speaker 00 You're a guest, you're a guest on Adrian's show.
43:50 Speaker 01 Oh.
43:51 Speaker 00 Yeah, go for it. So you can talk about what you want.
43:53 Speaker 01 Well, I'm chatting to Adrian about my book in London on Wednesday. I'm very much looking forward to seeing you.
43:58 Speaker 06 Yes.
43:58 Speaker 01 And I'm on a book tour at the minute.
44:00 Speaker 06 It's always a pleasure. Ellis?
44:02 Speaker 02 Happy the football season's over?
44:04 Speaker 00 Yes, actually.
44:05 Speaker 01 Is the football season over?
44:06 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, well, it is.
44:07 Speaker 02 Well, it is for real football in the championship.
44:10 Speaker 00 Real football.
44:10 Speaker 01 Oh, for the real fans.
44:12 Speaker 00 For the real fans. Yes, it's actually quite nice to have a break.
44:15 Speaker 02 Mm hmm. Yeah. Good, good.
44:17 Speaker 00 Nice to end the season with a win. And West Brom did good, don't?
44:21 Speaker 02 No, beautiful. We had to dodge relegation twice in a week after having a points deduction, which made us, we made ourselves mathematically safe, then became unsafe and then had to mathematically make ourselves safe all over again.
44:32 Speaker 00 And Cardiff got promoted.
44:34 Speaker 02 And Cardiff got promoted, Laura.
44:35 Speaker 00 I know Alice wanted me to refer to that.
44:37 Speaker 02 Sorry, go on, John, what did you say?
44:40 Speaker 01 There's a half man, half biscuit song called mathematically safe. And I always thought it was about a relationship because he's saying, I want to keep you mathematically safe. I wonder if it's about football.
44:48 Speaker 02 It is about a relationship. It's about a real relationship.
44:51 Speaker 00 Did Laura mention Cardiff City getting promoted then?
44:54 Speaker 02 She did.
44:54 Speaker 00 She did, Alice. I knew you'd want to hear this story.
44:57 Speaker 02 Okay, well, we can all enjoy, we can have West Brom Wolves, Cardiff, Swansea, oh, the outbreaks of bonhomie. Be amazing. Okay, Alice and John are, they'll be on the podcast later. Let's, it's time for the news. Well, I've just, I better just thank Cathy Owens, who's enjoying, he's kind of enjoying finding a way to enjoy herself. Even a sort of Labour apparently tank here in Wales and Laura McAllister from University of Cardiff. Thanks very much indeed for coming on. It's just gone 12.30.
45:35 Speaker 02 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of the best one yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalised AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle/workspacewithGemini. That's goo.gle/workspacewithGemini.
46:08 Speaker 04 Network freedom and flexibility. That's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to bill Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
46:41 Speaker 01 There you go. Lovely to chat to Adrian as always, and we'll be back with him next week, and I'll be speaking on Wednesday in London if anyone's coming to the event. We'll be chatting about my new book Thirst, which is available in all good book shops.
46:58 Speaker 00 Right. Here we go. Hello, my happy little hookers. I'm writing.
47:04 Speaker 01 Is this about rugby?
47:05 Speaker 00 Yes, I'm writing in defence of Ellis. Again, I love that. We've had loads of these. And the very interesting story of French rugby league.
47:14 Speaker 01 Very interesting is in inverted commas there.
47:16 Speaker 00 Oh, because you were laughing at me.
47:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:18 Speaker 00 Jartreze, the game of thirteen, as they call it. Like in England, where the northern clubs broke away to allow teams to compensate working class players or to take time off work for matches, French rugby league aimed to be semi-professional and was growing in the 1930s. Then came
47:33 Speaker 01 Dave, do you want to go for a coffee?
47:34 Speaker 00 The Nazi invasion and the Vichy regime, which we can only assume Dave and John would have supported.
47:40 Speaker 01 Oh, we got the coffee.
47:41 Speaker 00 Who banned rugby league in France due to associations with the previous left wing popular French government.
47:45 Speaker 01 Oh, those Samosas are good.
47:46 Speaker 00 Joseph Pasco, a former rugby union player, was the Vichy director of sport when the court was outlawed, and though it returned after the war, popularity never really recovered. That's a disgrace.
47:59 Speaker 00 In modern times, the Super League consisted mostly of teams from the North England.
48:03 Speaker 01 Sorry, little Lord Fontaine. Stuff that happened when we were alive.
48:06 Speaker 00 Okay. Playing rugby union with crisp linen shorts and school cap as two French, I'm not going to bother. All that is to say, Ellis was right. It is a very interesting story. I will admit it's probably more suited to his more successful podcast, but I really listened to that because I don't care enough about all the other sports they talk about. Well done to John and Dave with the marathon, Graeme in Warrington.
48:25 Speaker 01 Imagine only being interested in French rugby league.
48:30 Speaker 00 Good, so it's an interesting sport.
48:32 Speaker 01 It's a good sport.
48:33 Speaker 00 All right, let's move on to the curry scene in Ireland.
48:37 Speaker 03 Now he's interested. John is actually making coffee in our fancy cafetiere.
48:41 Speaker 00 Yeah.
48:42 Speaker 03 That apparently I get wrong every time I ratio the powder.
48:46 Speaker 00 Okay.
48:47 Speaker 03 They should make it clearer on the packet, I'd say.
48:49 Speaker 01 Well, what they could do is have grams and millilitres on the side.
48:53 Speaker 03 That'd be nice, wouldn't it?
48:54 Speaker 00 Hiya, my megalodon's of content. I heard you listening from Ireland speak about how in Ireland we don't go for a curry. And while yes, this is true, it's not that simple.
49:02 Speaker 01 Okay.
49:04 Speaker 00 We don't call Indian curries, uh, curries, we don't call Indian curries, curries. Rather, a curry is often as if a Chinese curry over here, when we are going out for Indian.
49:15 Speaker 01 But what do they mean by Chinese curry? Like that one that my stepdad always used to order as a point and to make a point because he didn't like Chinese. So if we ever went for one, he'd have the curry.
49:25 Speaker 00 My dad always used to have the same one. Yeah, he'd have a, I'll have a curry please.
49:28 Speaker 01 I don't know if that is still, is that still a vibe in Chinese restaurants as things moved on? Is there more fusion knocking around?
49:35 Speaker 00 Definitely, you can still get them. When we are going out for Indian food, which we often do, we say we're going for an Indian. We do this with all food, although we don't say we're going for an American when going to McDonald's. We have another long tradition of Indian food in Ireland, given we weren't the sexiest of nations to move to for long periods of our history. Unless, of course, you were a Viking or a Norman, but we thankfully now have many people from India in the Emmerich Isle, enriching our palate and adding to our culture. So if John finds himself looking for places that can satisfy his educated palate in Dublin, I would like to suggest Pickle on Camden Street and Shania, which is outside the city in a place called Cornell's Court, both of which are award-winning establishments. Our level of spice isn't at the heights you folks have across the water,
50:17 Speaker 00 but we are catching up and both places mentioned will add a little extra spice on request. All the best, gentlemen, and congratulations on the marathon. Maybe you boys might fancy the Dublin Marathon sometime. Kind regards, listeners since the XFM days, Ron Robins.
50:31 Speaker 01 No.
50:32 Speaker 00 No relation as far as I know.
50:33 Speaker 01 No way?
50:34 Speaker 00 Yeah, Ron Robins.
50:36 Speaker 01 Oh, I want me Ron Robins.
50:38 Speaker 00 Yeah, I want a me.
50:40 Speaker 03 Is Robins spelt the same as well, with just one B?
50:42 Speaker 00 Yeah, with one B.
50:43 Speaker 03 Wow.
50:43 Speaker 00 Ron Robins.
50:44 Speaker 01 Ron Robins.
50:45 Speaker 00 Hello, my charming little commercially minded content generators. As an Englishman living in Ireland since 2012, I can confirm that Ireland is very much not a curry hotbed. I'm from Devon, which was beautiful, does not really have a big curry based tourism scene, but I would say even a bang average Devonian curry house, hello to Gurkha in Dalish, is better than 99.9% of Irish curry houses. Oh, this is a very negative email.
51:11 Speaker 00 I'm not gonna read, um.
51:14 Speaker 00 Oh. No, I like Ireland. I often wish I was Irish.
51:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
51:20 Speaker 00 So, sorry Tibbs.
51:24 Speaker 03 What's the general, what's the general?
51:25 Speaker 01 Hang on, no, so there's an experience with, I came late to curry and at my first ever curry aged 17, when I accompanied a female friend to an Indian restaurant. This felt very grown up. Not going out on the lash with 14 indistinguishable lagers on tap, this was in 2000, but a proper meal that we drove to and potentially the opportunity to remove myself from friendzone purgatory with. When it came time to order, I had no clue, so I ordered literally the only curry I'd ever heard of. Being a Red Dwarf fan, I ordered a vindaloo.
51:53 Speaker 00 Oh, God.
51:54 Speaker 01 I've never before or since had a meal where the food to liquid ratio was so unbalanced. In the course of eating less than half of the curry, I drank a two litre bottle of Coke and five large glasses of water. I cannot remember anything about the meal other than pain and embarrassment. So I feel sympathy for your listener seeking assistance for fear of getting it wrong. Thankfully, the curry didn't seem to have any impact on my internal systems, but the amount of gas I produced during the night was eye watering. And it's the only time that my expulsion has been a force sufficient to wake me up. I'm now a huge fan of curry and I spent many happy meals on Brick Lane when I lived in London, but my spice tolerance has maxed out at Madras.
52:35 Speaker 00 Oh, my God. That's not bad, mate.
52:36 Speaker 01 Yours in curry, Tibbs.
52:38 Speaker 00 I, um.
52:41 Speaker 00 It was the first grown up meal I used to go up for, I think, a curry. I went out for, I went out for a curry with a mate once and it was, he was with his first girlfriend. He was very proud of having a girlfriend and he ate the whole meal with his arm around his shoulder, one handed.
52:55 Speaker 03 That's very, yeah, that's proper like late teens.
52:58 Speaker 00 Yeah.
52:59 Speaker 03 Vibes.
53:02 Speaker 00 God, sorry, there's just so many French Rugby League emails. It's bliss. It is bliss.
53:09 Speaker 03 In all seriousness, Al, I would happily let you take them to your sister podcast if you thought it would benefit Distant Pod.
53:17 Speaker 00 We have.
53:17 Speaker 03 Now available on BBC Sounds, of course.
53:18 Speaker 00 Now available on BBC Sounds, so we can discuss it, yeah. We have covered it a little bit, but not a huge amount. The French Rugby League's got a good book.
53:26 Speaker 03 He's in again. He's back.
53:28 Speaker 01 Oh, God, sorry.
53:29 Speaker 00 I need to see a new doc. I need to see a document.
53:31 Speaker 01 I preemptively stopped listening.
53:33 Speaker 00 That's nice. It's an audio format.
53:38 Speaker 03 You should have got John to read the Irish curry ones and you should have spoken all over John doing his passion project.
53:43 Speaker 00 No, but I would never do that because I am a professional.
53:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, you're a good guy. What else at this late stage?
53:51 Speaker 00 Chap in handing.
53:54 Speaker 03 Pardon?
53:54 Speaker 00 This is about when you meet a famous person at a urinal.
53:57 Speaker 03 Got it.
53:57 Speaker 00 And you've got your chap in your hand. Hello, gentle friends. I listened with interest. You're talking about a famous chap in handing and fear that without being all Barry Big Balls about it, I can trump the brilliant Barry Cryer anecdote. Whilst working in publishing, I was pointing Percy at the porcelain one day, probably just to waste a minute or two and stick it to the man, when I sensed a man's sidle up at the next urinal. So far, so normal. But that man next to me was Stanley Tucci.
54:21 Speaker 01 And he was Stanley Tucci-ing himself.
54:24 Speaker 00 I mean, what was I supposed to do? This was the Tucci we're talking about.
54:27 Speaker 03 There's a bit of class there, isn't there?
54:29 Speaker 00 Did I chap in hand him, this super famous Hollywood A-lister? Yes, I did. Did he reply? Yes, he did, albeit briefly, admittedly, and without making eye contact of any kind.
54:40 Speaker 03 Wow, Tucci.
54:41 Speaker 00 Do I regret it? No, sirs, I do not. Can anyone top this chap chap in handing, a very famous chap, tar, fill in West Yorkshire?
54:51 Speaker 03 I don't know. Oh, Tucci's a trick you want to top.
54:53 Speaker 00 Mark in Ponteclean, he chap in handed Norman Hunter, the ex Leeds United player at a pre-starting cricket club in the late 19s.
55:05 Speaker 00 Hello my three deviled eggs, PCD Retro wanna here. You once read out a humble brag I sent in during another lifetime. Listened with great interest to the Bureau on the 25th of April 2026. I just wanted to say that I once met Norman Hunter, chap in hand, during a sportsman's dinner at Prestatten Cricket Club in the late 90s. I didn't bother him, his nickname was Bite Your Legs, so I didn't want to upset him mid-flow. Keep up the good work. The flax report must be made.
55:29 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, the flax report.
55:31 Speaker 00 Mark in Ponteclean.
55:33 Speaker 03 This is already all quite random. It's even more random if we set this up on the Bureau.
55:38 Speaker 00 What, the flax report?
55:39 Speaker 03 No, the chap in handing.
55:41 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, basically chap in handing.
55:42 Speaker 03 We should explain because there'll be people who haven't listened to Bureau.
55:45 Speaker 00 Yeah.
55:47 Speaker 00 If you are chap in hand at a public urinal and a famous person is to your right or left, do you then say, ah, oh my gosh, big fan?
55:59 Speaker 01 Yeah. I mean, you categorically do not, but it's interesting for those who have chap in handed.
56:05 Speaker 03 Oh, I've chap in handed.
56:06 Speaker 01 You chap in handed famous people.
56:07 Speaker 03 Mike Toulon from Q103, we've talked about this. He's my radio hero.
56:11 Speaker 00 The problem is for the very famous, it might often be your only opportunity. Now, if I was very famous.
56:18 Speaker 01 To get some time on your own.
56:20 Speaker 00 No, to meet someone. Now, if I was very famous, I wouldn't want to be chap in handed. It's not cool. Not cool. No, no, no, I'm not saying you should, but I understand why people do.
56:31 Speaker 03 I think we were both, to be fair to me and Mike Toulon, I think we were both kind of peeling away from the urinals when I actually.
56:38 Speaker 01 Peeling?
56:39 Speaker 03 Yeah, like, you know, like turning away from the urinals.
56:43 Speaker 01 You weren't peeing away from the urinals for some form of protest.
56:47 Speaker 03 So the chaps had been dehanded by that point.
56:50 Speaker 01 And I think, like, say you're at a corporate event or an awards do or something fancy.
56:55 Speaker 03 Yes, that's where me and Tools were.
56:56 Speaker 01 And you're a bit kind of like.
56:57 Speaker 00 Oh, my God.
56:58 Speaker 01 And you're a bit squiffy in the toilets and you're like, oh, man, I really love your stuff. That's okay. But if you're like in a, if you're in a services and Ronnie Wood is stood next to you at the urinals.
57:10 Speaker 00 I stopped myself from chap in handing Ken Loach.
57:13 Speaker 03 Wow.
57:14 Speaker 00 At the Shelter Cymru 40th Birthday, um, corporate event.
57:19 Speaker 03 Because he might have given you.
57:20 Speaker 00 Because he'd made, it was 40 years since Cathy come home. I was working in the voluntary sector, in the homelessness, for a homelessness charity at the time. So he was the keynote speaker. And he.
57:33 Speaker 01 You didn't approach the loach?
57:34 Speaker 00 No.
57:35 Speaker 03 Also, how would the loach have taken that, you think?
57:38 Speaker 00 And thought, I can't now, not now. And then he brushed his teeth.
57:42 Speaker 01 Oh, I haven't brushed my teeth today. I brought my toothbrush and toothpaste with me. I was in such a rush to get here. That's reminded me.
57:49 Speaker 00 So I thought, I can't.
57:51 Speaker 01 Regardless of your level of fame, if anyone approaches you while you are urinating, your first thought is, not now, mate.
57:59 Speaker 00 Of course, yeah.
58:00 Speaker 03 Doesn't matter, yeah, absolutely.
58:01 Speaker 01 At least wait till we're at the Dyson Air Blades.
58:03 Speaker 03 At least wait till you're peeling away.
58:04 Speaker 00 Wait till the blade.
58:07 Speaker 01 I once, it was not chap in handing, but I saw Tony Benn smoking his pipe next to some bins outside a Q and A event he was doing. And I thought, I'll leave him to his pipe.
58:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, there's a few regrets. I shouldn't have. The late, great Ricky Hatton was at the Istanbul Champions League final.
58:24 Speaker 00 Oh, was he? And I was. I would have loved to have met him.
58:26 Speaker 03 And I was a little bit squiffy by that point. I grabbed him. I didn't grab him, but I said, Ricky, I'm a fellow. And at the time, I thought, that was great. He seemed perfectly happy by that as well. It's only you look back at the picture the next day and he had the face of thunder, because it's just another person at a City game that's asking.
58:39 Speaker 00 I mean, Ricky Hatton is City away.
58:41 Speaker 03 I know.
58:41 Speaker 00 Every single person's gonna know him.
58:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:44 Speaker 00 But everyone loves him.
58:46 Speaker 01 This is from Ruth. Hello, lovely lads. Congratulations on the marathon success. I loved hearing Ellis mention that he eats in restaurants alone this week.
58:53 Speaker 00 I'll be doing it tonight.
58:54 Speaker 01 And you all agreeing. I've realised that doing things alone is something that seems easy for some people, but hard for others. So to hear you talk about it publicly is great. My husband would never go to football alone after he moved away from his old footy friends. But after some persuasion from me, he's now been and loves it. He's never alone in the stadium. That's a nice phrase.
59:12 Speaker 00 I used to watch this one on my own all the time.
59:14 Speaker 01 Well, you're sort of surrounded by many people with a common interest.
59:18 Speaker 03 Yeah. No, Gallagher's doing all the City away games on his own by the looks of it.
59:22 Speaker 01 He loves security, surely.
59:24 Speaker 03 I think he just bowls up, you know. I think he's in with the crowd and he loves it, but it's rare that you see him with a mate or anything.
59:31 Speaker 00 He's also never in the corporate boxes, which I'm quite.
59:34 Speaker 01 But also, I don't think Noel Gallagher is ever really alone.
59:38 Speaker 03 Or is he, or is he John?
59:39 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, but I mean, people will always go, all right, Noel, how are you doing?
59:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, I think you.
59:44 Speaker 01 Whereas, whereas Ruth's, Ruth's husband isn't gonna get like a hundred people queuing up for selfies with him.
59:49 Speaker 03 I think if you listen to the lyrics to Talk Tonight, you'll understand that he has been alone in the past, actually, John.
59:53 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, and I agree with you, Dave. That's a good point you've made there. And he doesn't understand, he doesn't know that he ended up in San Francisco and all the band are gonna split.
1:00:05 Speaker 03 The lost love.
1:00:07 Speaker 01 He's never alone in the stadium. My friend lost three immediate family members in the space of two years and couldn't go to the coffee shop or cinema alone. So I started to message her every time I was out on my own at a gig, the cinema, or reading my book in a cafe. She took a brave step and is now loving it and makes me so happy that she goes to the cinema alone more than me now. She's also been to a concert alone, which is incredible. Another friend would never go anywhere on her own and would meet me in the car park outside. So when I was running late last week to a gig, she went in and got our drinks and found seats. I was over the moon at this programme. Last week, I went to a concert on my own to see a tribute of my dad's favourite artist, The Carpenters. It was stunning. My dad sadly passed away a few years ago and I spent the evening thinking of him, chatting to him and singing the songs that were soundtrack to our child, my childhood.
1:00:51 Speaker 01 I would love everyone to do their own thing, regardless of who wants to join them. I love spending time with friends and family and I love my alone time. Both are vital to my mental health.
1:00:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:59 Speaker 01 If you can share any more in the future about going it alone, I'm sure it would help people. Thanks for all that you do. I do an awful lot. I do everything on my own, really.
1:01:08 Speaker 03 Hmm.
1:01:08 Speaker 01 Drive back from the M40 on my own, navigate diversions on my own, hand letters to Waze in my head on my own.
1:01:15 Speaker 03 You hold your breath and win thousands of pounds on your own?
1:01:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, the amount of money I've raised on my own, it's gotta be eight figures.
1:01:23 Speaker 00 I used to enjoy eating alone.
1:01:25 Speaker 01 I love eating alone.
1:01:26 Speaker 00 I like going to restaurants on my own.
1:01:27 Speaker 01 I went to a restaurant on my own before the Cardiff gig and.
1:01:30 Speaker 00 Which one?
1:01:32 Speaker 01 It's a noodle place called Umi, I think it's called Umi.
1:01:35 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, I know where that is.
1:01:36 Speaker 01 Opposite the Premier Inn.
1:01:38 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:01:38 Speaker 01 And it was empty and I thought, great.
1:01:41 Speaker 00 Perfect.
1:01:42 Speaker 01 And then I sat down and I picked up the menu and I realised there was only one vegetarian option on the entire menu. So I was too embarrassed to leave, so I said, I'll just have the vegetarian thing. And I am 99.9% sure that the broth was pork.
1:01:58 Speaker 03 Oh.
1:01:58 Speaker 01 So I was too hungry and embarrassed, too hungry to send it back, too embarrassed to send it back. So I picked up all the noodles. With the chopsticks and just held them in the air and let them air dry before eating them all. So it took ages and I felt bad.
1:02:15 Speaker 00 Hmm.
1:02:16 Speaker 01 And I think I've eaten probably three millilitres of a pig.
1:02:20 Speaker 00 But in the, you know, it's often a positive experience. I'm in.
1:02:25 Speaker 01 Oh, it was still positive. Did my crosswords.
1:02:27 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'm gonna, I don't know what I'm gonna, I'll have to have some pasta probably because I'm a big bank guy, but yeah, love it.
1:02:32 Speaker 01 I'm going for a walk on my own tomorrow. This is from Matt. I just wanted to put down in words what a profound impact your podcast has had on my life since my friend Andrew introduced me to the show a few years ago. Andrew told me about the Cumry connection and urged me not only to listen to your podcast, but to take part, which I can proudly say I have, in episode 511. By the way, Alice, I'm still waiting for a picture of your shoes.
1:02:54 Speaker 00 Oh, I wonder which shoes you wanted to see.
1:02:56 Speaker 01 Anyway, let me get to the point. Listening to the podcast has encouraged me to get out and about. Being stuck behind a desk for seven hours a day and working from home since 2020 has taken its toll on my mental and physical health. So every day I get out the door and complete my 10,000 steps whilst working my way through the back cat.
1:03:11 Speaker 00 Great.
1:03:12 Speaker 01 I understand that some people may not appreciate all the running content. However, it has encouraged me to give it a go and since January I've lost over two stone.
1:03:19 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:03:22 Speaker 01 And more importantly, my mental health has never been better. Listening to the podcast has become somewhat of a therapy for me and I'm eternally grateful for all the laughs you've provided, even though I probably look a bit mad laughing out loud whilst walking or running around Swansea. Di ochogalan.
1:03:36 Speaker 00 Di ochogalan. Heartfelt thanks.
1:03:38 Speaker 01 Thanks, Matt. Round of applause.
1:03:39 Speaker 00 Cheers, Matt.
1:03:40 Speaker 01 Go on, Matty. Go on, Matt. Go on, Matt. Go on, Matt. Go on, Matt.
1:03:43 Speaker 00 Come on, like that.
1:03:45 Speaker 01 So thank you everyone for your emails. We will be back with you on the Bureau de Change of the Mind on BBC Sounds and on Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts and the Alice and John cinematic universe continues to expand.
1:03:58 Speaker 00 Oh, it's there somewhere, isn't it?
1:03:59 Speaker 01 It's on Patreon, Dave.
1:04:00 Speaker 00 The emails were very good this week.
1:04:03 Speaker 01 Yes, thank you everyone.
1:04:04 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:04:05 Speaker 01 Bye bye.
1:04:19 Speaker 02 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet.
1:04:21 Speaker 06 Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer.
1:04:27 Speaker 02 With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work.
1:04:38 Speaker 06 That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about.
1:04:42 Speaker 02 Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at go.o.gle/workspacewithgemini.
1:04:49 Speaker 06 That's go.o.gle/workspacewithgemini.
1:04:54 Speaker 01 Thanks for listening to the show, and you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at @EllisonJohn for more content.
1:05:00 Speaker 00 And you can watch highlights of every episode over on our YouTube page, @EllisonJohn.
1:05:05 Speaker 01 Plus, you can find all things EJJR, including links to our Patreon, our merch, and much more by heading to ellisonjohn.com. See you next time.
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