Shame, Shame, Shame

A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:28Speaker 03

  This episode of Distractible is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay. How do you guys know when someone's really your friend? I don't know.

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• 2:11Speaker 05

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, meets loving Mark, gives culinary tips, flips Chica, slams Sabrina, and identifies ignoble actions, Witcher Wade endlessly pokes them all, tosses leaky Bob, accuses God, then targets Travis and NMS. Blustering Bob smokes pork, louts hard carbon, bashes backpedaling, and slaps Samsung nights. From directed dumping on podcasts to Hermione's cocks. Yes, it's time for shame, shame, shame.

• 2:55Speaker 05

  Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Hi, welcome back to Distractible. Yes, I switched to my radio voice. No, I wasn't just talking like this a little bit ago. But are my friends gonna call me out on this? No, they are not, because they're my friends. And you're my friends for listening to this or watching it. Hi, I'm Mark, here to bring you another beautiful episode of Distractible. The only show that you'll ever need in your life and all the other ones that we're definitely above now in the rankings after my hit episode, Drama Alarm. Did you see the thumbnail for that one?

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:36Speaker 06

  That's what Sam made me. It's like the Joe Rogan experience. Call her bald made me laugh so hard. There it is. I saw I had blonde hair and I was like, I can't look at this right now.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, what was it? What was it? Baby expert or dad expert?

• 3:54Speaker 04

  Dad expert, yeah.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was actually surprised that the last episode, Drama Alarm, came across so well. You guys were very funny and I told you as much, and I thought it was good, but...

• 4:05Speaker 04

  We definitely didn't go down three spots in the rankings since then. That doesn't count because it hasn't, the effect, the ripple of it. Oh, right, right.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  Those other podcasts are gonna hear about it and they get angry, and then that's gonna feed back into us, you know? Any minute now, TMZ is gonna pick up the article, Mark and Dax Shepard drama. You know?

• 4:28Speaker 04

  It's coming.

• 4:29Speaker 06

  Mark and Friends shit on other creators.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  Such a meteoric rise up the podcast charts will never have been seen before.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  My strategy will play out and just and also today is another extension of that, but I'll get to it later.

• 4:44Speaker 06

  Oh, good.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  Mark's 10 part marketing beef strategy.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, you'll get it. But first we gotta, oh, I gotta get out my point.

• 4:56Speaker 06

  I just love the idea of slowly turning our podcast and careers into a nuclear explosion. So we go out, we go out in style.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  We could do that. What's up, Drama Alarm Nation?

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Eight percent battery on my remarkable.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  That's probably enough. Just don't write too much.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Don't worry, I won't. Don't know how you guys are.

• 5:15Speaker 06

  I agree.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Wade gets the agree point, which is weird because I think the last time I scored, I gave you an agree point and it subtracted a point. Let me check that.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  I think you gave him an agree point for agreeing with me and somehow it became my point.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, somehow. Also, I wrote that on a piece of paper and not this thing, so I can't confirm that. But Wade, you got an agree point. So who wants to go first on their small talk?

• 5:36Speaker 04

  I learned a new way to smoke meat this weekend. Anyone want to hear about it?

• 5:40Speaker 06

  But you roll it, then you light one in.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  No, I was gonna say bong. No, I always thought to, so all I have is a charcoal grill, just a Weber kettle grill, basic one. That's not me. It's whatever. It's a grill. And I always thought to smoke stuff, you had to like soak wood chips in water or put them in like a foil pouch or there's a whole situation. My dad came down this weekend and smoked a pork shoulder. And turns out all you need is a big fucking chunks of wood. And if you put them on the charcoal, but then keep the lid on it and manage the air, they just don't ignite, but they smoke. Anyway, my dad made the best smoked pulled pork shoulder I've had in a while this weekend and it was real good.

• 6:22Speaker 06

  The homemade pulled pork. It's okay.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  I elevated my steak cooking method because lately I've been doing a higher protein diet. Trying to lose some weight and get in shape again. It's going well. Thanks for fucking asking.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  I didn't ask.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  Bobby, you're the source of my ire. I'm giving you an ire point.

• 6:40Speaker 06

  I'm glad you said something. I was gonna tell me you looked the same, but you already were mean, so.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought you were looking shorter.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  Oh no, you're losing height, not weight. No, I, I, so I've been cooking a lot of steaks. Also, I've been getting really good at getting deals at the store. You go right before closing or right after open and you wait, you watch the manager walks the floor with those coupons and the gun that prints out the clearance.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  Who are you, me?

• 7:11Speaker 03

  If I'm gonna get all the wheel bonus points this episode and I'm gonna win, you guys are fucking hell.

• 7:16Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Don't even try to compete, compete. Anyway, so you follow the manager around and you, you wait for them to get to the meat section because obviously like meat's pretty expensive, right? And I'm sorry to anybody that doesn't eat meat, but I do. And it's, you know, if they, if they, I've always said, if there comes a day when they get artificial meat, good as good as steaks or even close, and it's getting there, it's getting closer. I will do it, but there was some information recently about how some of those protein profiles that they were talking about were not as good as they claimed them to be. But I got like at the equivalent of Kroger's out here, a two pack of bone in rib eye steaks for like $7.99 a pound.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  They were gonna expire in two days and I scooped up two packs of that, froze two of them. And then I started cooking again and used to, I used to do them in the air fryer, right? To the bane of everybody who loves a good steak, I would cook mine in the air fryer. It wasn't bad, but with A1 sauce, anything can be good. But I learned a new strategy recently is I pop it in the air fryer at a low temperature, right? As low as it'll go, which is usually like 300, you know, that's not super low, but it's low enough. Because one of the ways that a lot of good restaurants or people that actually care about cooking it, they bake it first to get in.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  Reverse sear.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  Reverse sear, right? So while that's going, I'm heating up the pan to like a screaming temperature, like as hot, like.

• 8:46Speaker 04

  Stainless, high carbon, what are you cooking on?

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Well, it's this newer nonstick. I actually invested in good pots and pans and they're very nice. I don't know what they're made of, but I did it once or twice in a stainless steel. And I've done it in a, the cast iron. Cast iron was best, but such a pain in the ass to clean. I'm looking for convenience. So I got the nonstick there, get it up to 500 something degrees with a temperature gun. I'm looking at it as soon as it's ready to go, chase it with like a little bit of butter first, just so it browns the butter, because butter will brown so fast out of the temperature. As soon as this pops in, slam that steak in, like it'll just go crazy. Get the edges, sear the fat cap, flip to the other side, on the other side of the pan where it's still hot, super brown, delicious. I'm actually making

• 9:30Speaker 03

  decent steaks. And I got this like garlic rosemary rub. Oh, it's good shit. I've not had lunch yet, and this is the most painful small talk we've had in a while. So I'm just like, yeah, how good. Cause baking in an oven would take too long, but air fryer. Oh yeah, yeah. Air fryer, it is useful for that.

• 9:48Speaker 04

  No, that's good. Yeah. What fancy restaurants and chefs do is sous vide up to temp and then sear it after. But the air fryer is good because it, at a low temp, it is like, it's similar to sous vide because it's like convection, right? It's more, but I could see that. I could see that working.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  It's basically a convection oven and it's like not as good because the heat transfer won't be as slow and even, but it's still not bad.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  And I know you're looking for convenience, but if you're looking for perfection on steaks on a pan, I gotta point you towards high carbon steel. It's those black steel pans and they like Oxo sells a high carbon steel pan for like a very reasonable price. So good. So dense. It, it has a similar capability to cast iron, but it's a little bit more, it's way lighter weight because it's like a normal and it, but oh, I love my high carbon steel pan.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  That sounds pretty good. Yeah.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  It's hard to be the convenience of nonstick. I do get that.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. Best steak I ever did was with like, I seared it first and then butter basted for like 10 minutes. But that's annoying because you gotta sit there with it tilted for 10 minutes, scooping, splattering butter all over the stove.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  If you're doing it like every day, every other day, you don't want to do that all the time.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  I'm not doing that. I get good enough with what I'm doing. So anyway, way too hungry.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  I'm so hungry. All right, and then I made some ice cream. Wait, do you like ice cream?

• 11:07Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  I left my lunch outs out of the fridge. My lunch is not good. It's a I pre-made it pre-mixed a protein shake. That's my lunch.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  Quick, tear down your wall of cushions.

• 11:18Speaker 07

  Oh, sorry. Don't mind me.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Are those cinder blocks? What is that made of?

• 11:31Speaker 07

  Shush. Shush.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  Chico, go help daddy. Oh, never mind.

• 11:36Speaker 06

  Chico cameo.

• 11:38Speaker 04

  Father, come back. Father.

• 11:41Speaker 06

  I was telling you guys this a little bit off camera, so I cheated, but a pokey rogue. New weekly addiction. I find a new one every week. The game's a year or so old. They're still constantly updating it. You start off with all the starters. You go, you just battle and catch, battle and catch. You get like egg voucher things that you put into a gotcha system. You hatch. You're trying to get shinies and legendaries and shiny legendaries because having shinies on your team boosts the quality of drops and stuff. You can increase the luck stat. It's a whole thing. I don't know. I don't know how many hours I've put on in the last seven days in that game because I can play it. It's a browser. You play on your browser, so I can play on my phone, my tablet, computer, whatever. It's everywhere I go.

• 12:23Speaker 06

  You have to beat classic mode, then you can unlock something called endless mode. Endless has an ending, I found out. I haven't even unlocked it. Of all the hours I've put in, I've not beaten classic yet. I guess I'm not great at the game, but I have a lot of fun with it. And I did hatch. There's different tiers of shiny you get. There's like the common tier one, tier two, then tier three is the rarest and each have like a bigger boost. The rarer, the more boost you get to your luck stat. I've only ever hatched one shiny, but it was a shiny Articuno, which is kind of cool. Next time I win, I should just host an episode where I just play that the whole time and just make you guys talk and then write down some bullshit points. Another bit of small talk. We were making steak here at the house and we didn't have like, we were trying to do something quick at night, so we had one of those like Bob Evans mashed potato pre-made thing just to toss in.

• 13:09Speaker 06

  And it was like the last one we had and it was like, oh, it's we were just craving it. It was like garlic mashed potato. We were craving it. It was like, oh, man, I pair this with the steak. Some green beans gonna be great. Go to like, get the mashed potato out and it's not been sealed properly when they, when they packaged it. So it's been exposed to air. It's leaking. All the liquid is out. We had to throw it away.

• 13:28Speaker 06

  Like we had steak and it was like the one thing we wanted to like have the perfect pairing that we were craving. And we had to throw it out and not eat it. And it was, the rest of the meal was still good, but like, it was very sad.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  No, I feel you. I feel you. I've, I've actually had that before. I'm like, yeah, I'm craving. I was defrosting this piece of salmon this morning. It's gonna be great. And by the time I get there in the evening, I'm like, oh, I defrosted it last week. Uh, shit, that wasn't this morning at all. And it's incredibly old. So yeah, I've done that before. I give you a point for that. Mashed potatoes of sadness. That's good.

• 14:04Speaker 06

  I've had a green bean kick lately, which are apparently good for you, I guess, but.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're good. Yeah. Especially if they're made right.

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• 14:42Speaker 01

  The best part of waking up? A full cup of Folgers coffee and music on full blast.

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• 15:13Speaker 06

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• 15:24Speaker 03

  I think that might be them knocking on the door and because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Dude, them or the FBI? I'm not 100% sure. Yep.

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• 15:45Speaker 03

  So neither of you got the transition point or the segue point. It was shame related. I was looking for something shameful that you were going to admit. And I don't think either of you had any shameful actions. I'm bald. It's not shame. There's no shame in that, buddy. You gotta be proud. I'm tall and bald? Those are both admirable qualities in many circles. I don't think that you need to be shameful for that. Did you guys see there was a tennis match where one of the tennis players, I don't know who, I don't watch tennis, but one of the players was signing things in the stands. And this kid was all, "Oh, it's my favorite tennis play."

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Just like, it's just a little kid and you know, the guy was wearing a hat just like mine. Just like mine. I'm not saying that I'm the guy in this story, but it's not just like mine. The kid or the tennis player? The tennis player had a hat. And so he signed something, signed something, and he takes his hat off and he, he hands it up towards the kid, looks away, expected the kid to grab it. Some guy, big, tall guy, just like you, Wade, just kinda like you. Wow. I just happened to have a new hat recently, but. He, "Oy, yowik!" right out of the kid's hands. The kid goes, "Oh," like a baby, you know? Yeah, be bigger, kid. You'll win next time. You know, it's funny you say that. It's funny you say that.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Cause I want to read you, cause I'm skipping ahead, but that's so funny because uh, from the guy who did this, dear ladies, subject statement, dear ladies and gentlemen, due to the fact that your hysteria is getting out of control, I have decided to issue a statement to clarify who should receive the hat. I emphasize that I won the hat because I am stronger and therefore I am consciously keeping it. I do not greet people sick with envy. Coach of winners, Peter Sizer.

• 17:44Speaker 06

  I'm bigger, I'm stronger, I'm better. The kid didn't win the competition, even though the hat was aimed at him to be given to him as a gift. I intercepted it, just like in sports. It's mine, suck it kid.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  Pretty much. I mean, I, I don't get where people could possibly have an issue with this. So Wade, you're in the firm camp of this guy is right, Bob.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  No, Wade, I'm giving you a point for that. You go like, okay, the guy was stronger, period.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  Well, I, I just want to say, I think both uh, Peter and Wade probably should lose that point because the original statement from this guy was that was what you said. And he was immediately like, ah, it's, I, I deserve that. It's my hat. I'm stronger than that stupid kid.

• 18:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  Apparently in the last 24 hours, he issued a different statement where he was like, uh, um, uh, actually I've come to realize that what I did was I made a mistake and uh, I was so sure, cause my kids had asked for an autograph before and I was so sure the guy was handing the hat to me, I instinctively reached for it and it what may look like me stealing something from a child is actually me securing something very important for my own child because of good, strong parental instincts. I'm sorry I hurt the boy and disappointed my many fans.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  Your fans?

• 19:19Speaker 04

  I don't know. The statement's in Polish, so all I have is translations and I have no idea how accurate these are, honestly, but it hurts for me, but I needed a needed lesson in humility. That's why I will be even more actively involved in initiatives that support children and adolescents in actions against violence and hate.

• 19:37Speaker 03

  He won't be.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  Man, the backpedal of the week right there, dude.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  What, what is that dated?

• 19:45Speaker 04

  That's on, that's a Facebook post yesterday at 8 a.m. I assume Polish time. So that's in like the last 24 hours.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  But he's keeping the hat. He learned his lesson, but he's keeping the hat.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  No, no, no. According to this statement, the hat has been given to that child. Oh, wait, no, actually, wait. No, it's just bad translation. He was explaining like, you know what? The hat was supposed to be given to that boy and I'm sorry to him. I kept the hat.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  I'm in Poland now. The kid's not Polish. He's not even here. But I'm humbled. I'm very humbled now. There's no way to get this hat to wherever that kid was from whatever poor country he was from.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  This statement claims that that previous statement with all the ballsiness in it was not even him. If true, not a backpedal. If not true, even more epic backpedal. This guy was like, I never even said that. That wasn't even me. Those words don't even exist. Check the internet. It's all AI. It's made, it's in your imagination.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Right. I wanna, I wanna read one more statement that may or not, may not be true. It's just, you know, text on the internet, who knows, but hilarious. Dated one day before that statement you read on the 31st of August. Thanks to this hat, I'll soon be on Dancing with the Stars. And what about you? Are you still crawling for minimum wage?

• 21:17Speaker 03

  No evidence that this is real, but God, I hope it is. I'll bet that kid can't even get a job. Anyway, he's also suing anyone that says anything negative about him for libel and slander. So we're all Wade, you're being sued. I thought I was him. No, yeah, Bob, you're being sued. Why am I being sued? I I'm I was giving him credit for his enormous backpedal. Oh, you're right. You're right. I'm being sued. Okay. Okay. We can all agree to that. I want to know what the truth is in all of this. What's happening here? I think he is a dick because you don't do that without being a massive douche. Period. It doesn't matter what anyone says. Otherwise, he stole a hat from a kid, didn't even remotely regret. And we've seen video evidence of this happening all the time.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  You've seen like ladies at baseball games of being like a yoink right out of children's hands. Or like someone grabbing it like right out, like pushing a kid out of the way to grab it. You know, there's been tons of evidence of that. So I do not doubt this guy. Whatever he had in his head at that time was like, mine, get fucked kid. So in the era of shame, that's what the theme of this episode is. We're going to talk about shameful moments in in the internet as it is right now. If you've got any gripes against anyone or anybody could be podcast or otherwise. I have one more. If you guys need to think more or research more, if you need time, do you need time? I need a second. Oh, yeah. All right, cool.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  I'm going to talk to you. Do you guys know Sabrina Carpenter? Never met her. This is nothing against her musicality. By the way, this is not what this is about. Uh oh, here we go. Have you seen the music video for Man Child? I think I've seen clips. I it would have been honest, I was scrolling on something, but. This music video came out called Man Child, right? And do you guys know Robert Rex? He's the chef.

• 23:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, the, yeah, I do.

• 23:18Speaker 06

  I didn't at first, but now when Bob said that it jogged the memories. Now it's back in my head. I was like,

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Somewhere in this music video, it's so hard to find him. I can't even remember what time stamp he was. He's in this music video. Like Robert Rex has been in so many music videos as like an extra or a person in it. He is like a music video guy. He's been in tons. In this particular one, his shot featuring him where he was dry, I believe he was driving some vehicle in there, was cut early. You barely even got to see that it was him. And I think that is complete injustice and I am shaming Sabrina Carpenter for, oh, actually I think it's in the beginning. It's like, it's like minute, uh, no, is that him? I can't tell. I don't know.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  He's in this music video and he talked about it because it was a really fun shoot, but they didn't have him in it. They cut anything that was featuring him.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Is he driving the box truck that you can't see the driver of that she flips off as it goes past?

• 24:16Speaker 03

  That might be him. I, I actually, I really like this music video, by the way. If you haven't seen it, it's such a fun watch with like really good usage of, of VFX to do absurdist things. Really, really interesting music video. Uh, if you're, if you're into Sabrina Carpenter's music or not, it's just a fun watch. So it might be that box truck. It might be any number of these vehicles, but it's just, ah, I felt so bad. Shame on Sabrina Carpenter for not featuring the star of that music video. And yes, above Sabrina Carpenter, Robert Rex should have been at the top of the building.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  It's a really embarrassing for her, honestly.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  All right. Now that should have given you guys time to gather your shame. All right. Who's, uh, I don't. I didn't bring my coin again.

• 25:07Speaker 04

  Well, you better hope that that doesn't come up.

• 25:09Speaker 06

  Someone's in violation of distractible code 0317B.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  And that's the second time I've done this. I'll flip the chica.

• 25:17Speaker 06

  All right, all right.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  All right, chica, heads or tails? She's, she actually got, had her tail.

• 25:22Speaker 06

  And one of us is going to feel really bad when we call it then.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  Come here, come here, come here. All right. Who's calling? Who's what? Who's heads? Who's tails?

• 25:28Speaker 04

  I'm heads.

• 25:31Speaker 06

  Okay, and. Flip. It is so heavy. She could probably flip you easy.

• 25:45Speaker 06

  Better just make her flip.

• 25:46Speaker 07

  For fuck's sake, just pick heads.

• 25:48Speaker 06

  Ah, heads. Wade's heads. Me? Yeah, Wade's tails. Whatever's happening. Uh, we're gonna start at the top and it'll all be less exciting from here. But I'm going big at the start. Okay. Going after God.

• 26:02Speaker 06

  I was in college, had my laptop, typing on my lap a bunch. Apparently it's really bad wrist posture. And I got like purple tunnel or whatever in my wrist. Been playing, uh, like Poké Rogue. I was talking about earlier on my tablet, my phone, computer. And I've been having like some pain in the this region of my hand and it's like, why make such a great game? If you're gonna punish me for playing it asshole, you know? Why isn't my body adapted to play it all the time? Why pain? Why Hertzies? So, big guy upstairs, not the best designer. Maybe hire someone next time, get some help. Contract, subcontract, sure you can afford it.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  The rich guy upstairs ain't trickling down enough, you know what I mean?

• 26:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, people say eat the rich. I think we start up top.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  All right, okay, that's a bold start. That's gonna be hard to beat. Good thing it's not a beating competition. It's a quantity competition. Bob?

• 26:58Speaker 06

  Wade? Again, you know.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  No, no, it's my turn again. Okay, so another one. All right, you guys know Sabrina Carpenter, right? Never met her. Got another bone to pick with Sabrina Carpenter.

• 27:09Speaker 06

  Did you know Rex? Rex, Rex, Rex, Rexy? We call him Rexys.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Minus one point, minus one point for Rexy. Did you know Rexy?

• 27:20Speaker 06

  I know the name, but my mouth didn't say it.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Uh huh, what is it?

• 27:24Speaker 06

  Robert Redford.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  Robert Rex. Robert Redford, dear Lord, nope. All right, swing and a miss. Someone pointed out, this actually isn't, isn't from me. Uh, Amy told me about someone else starting to talk about this, or multiple people being like, "Hey, wait a minute, Sabrina Carpenter, whose music is predominantly about sex and, you know, promiscuity, and that's fine, no judgment there, but especially like the, the style of music is trending towards Ninja Sex Party, both in the musicality, the theme was always there with like Ninja Sex Party literally being about nothing but sex, promiscuity, and now..."

• 28:08Speaker 06

  I never really got that from their music, but if you say so.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Oh, you re-appreciate it for the art.

• 28:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  You read Ninja Sex Party for the articles?

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Hey, you know, they knew more, of course, and I'm sure Sabrina Carpenter, but people are starting to say like, "Hey, wait a minute, she's just doing the same thing that Ninja Sex Party did." Hey, and it's cool because more attention should be gotten to Ninja Sex Party in the first place, but shame Sabrina Carpenter for ripping off Ninja Sex Party. I will have another Sabrina Carpenter.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  All right, Bob, did that give you enough time?

• 28:45Speaker 04

  Honestly, I don't have shit for this. I'm gonna be a hundred percent honest.

• 28:49Speaker 06

  You know, you could, I'm gonna give you one if you want to take it. You could have a gripe against the host for making you come up with gripes that you don't have.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, Mark just assumes everybody has these common complaints that everybody has, and I don't have them. Is this just a thing that's on your guys' minds? Is this, like, things come up and you're like, "Wow, they should be ashamed of that."

• 29:08Speaker 06

  No, I'm just kind of bullshitting as we go along, to be honest with you.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I was last night, we were watching something and I was like, "Hey, man, that would be, that'd be fun to talk about, but I guess not. It's fun, whatever."

• 29:19Speaker 04

  No, it's not your fault. It's me. I just.

• 29:21Speaker 06

  Hate more people. All right. Wait, who do you hate? You know what we're going with? Travis Kelsey. We've been talking to the music genre. Travis Kelsey, born Cleveland, Ohio, went to college, University of Cincinnati, plays football, Kansas City. Is that Kansas or Missouri? Engaged to Taylor Swift from Reading, Pennsylvania. How many states and cities does this fucker need to claim? Just pick a place.

• 29:48Speaker 04

  Does he claim all those?

• 29:49Speaker 06

  Be loyal to a place, man. You're engaged. You want to be loyal to a person? Be loyal to a place. Pick Cincinnati.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  I just love, yeah, we're talking about musicality and music. Travis Kelsey, you know?

• 30:00Speaker 06

  Taylor Swift, music.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  You didn't say that.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Does he hold a large claim on all of these places?

• 30:08Speaker 06

  I think he owns all of them. He owns most of Ohio, most of Missouri and Kansas and now Pennsylvania.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  I will say what's, what's, what's interesting is he got an honorary degree. I think he went back and actually got his degree in like 2022 from University of Cincinnati for something, which I don't know if that means he didn't graduate. We, we were in the same graduating year, so we were, I was, he was there somewhere when we were there, Bob.

• 30:31Speaker 06

  Playing football, I hear.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  He got a degree and as a guy with more Instagram followers than him, by 5 million, University of Cincinnati, uh, as the most famous alumni from University of Cincinnati, I think, I think that, you know, maybe a degree or two would be.

• 30:52Speaker 06

  I thought they'd even like email us to come do like a caregiver speech for, you know, Relay for Life or American Cancer Society or something. I was like, oh, man, I can't wait to do something for no further, UC. They just sent me the alumni like, hey, you want to donate money? And it's like, I want to talk. I like talk. Is it because I didn't actually graduate? Is that what it is? You're the most embarrassing famous graduate from UC because you don't have the degree. You are, whenever they do this episode, they're like, Mark, shame.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  Hey, guys, I thought of one. UC should be ashamed for not giving Mark an honorary degree.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  Can I actually get an engineering job with an honorary engineer degree?

• 31:34Speaker 04

  You assemble Ikea furniture all by yourself. You could engineer stuff.

• 31:38Speaker 06

  Look at your great soundproofing behind you. You put that together on the episode.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Well, Jason made those, but I asked Jason to do it. So basically, you know, I engineered him.

• 31:50Speaker 06

  So what you're saying is you should go straight to supervisor or manager.

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, you should be a managing engineer.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Uh, but I don't think that they're gonna give that to me. You know, you know, ow, my eye. Something's in my eye. Quick, Bob, say your thing next while I deal with this.

• 32:05Speaker 04

  You know who should be ashamed? This is reaching back in the history of this podcast, but it's not to the company that people might expect in regards to a refrigerator. Samsung. Samsung should be ashamed because despite everything that happened in the Bob's fridge episode being the fault of a different company or companies. The refrigerator that ultimately was installed eventually that did work, the one that froze into a solid sheet of ice in the bottom of it that I had to chip out by hand once every couple of weeks. It was a piece of garbage. Samsung either stop making refrigerators or steal someone else's design because holy fuck, how are you making refrigerators in the year of our Lord 2023?

• 32:47Speaker 04

  That that just did turn into ice. It physically stops working and the problem isn't even technological. It's the drain tube gets clogged. Who designs a drain tube that gets clogged? Anyway, I thought of one. Samsung?

• 33:00Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  Fuck you guys. Also, your your phones? Meh.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  Also, your TVs? Not not bad, actually, but fine. Yeah, they're fine.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Actually, their their latest OLEDs, um, I feel like an ass because I bought these LG OLEDs, um, just recently for my mixing room. And then the reviews come out about the Samsung OLEDs and everyone saying like, wow, they're basically perfect. They don't get any burn in or anything. And they're like, color accuracy is undeniable for the price. It's almost unbeatable. And I'm like, well, fuck me then.

• 33:34Speaker 06

  Don't trust those are all the Samsungites. They're just filling it out.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  Sam singers.

• 33:38Speaker 06

  Oh, it's musically related. Damn it.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  All right, go. Wait.

• 33:42Speaker 06

  Developers of No Man's Sky, you guys had one of the worst game launches of all time. And then you continued to work on your game. You continued to edit it. You had all these big updates. You just had another recent one and your game is actually very great. I don't have time to play it right now. Could you have waited a little bit? Stop doing such a good job and making one, every other company look bad. Two, making my schedule look bad. And three, taking away from my productivity. Because I really just want to get in there and build a Corvette because it has like the Starfield kind of ship creator kind of thing going for it, but all the good No Man's Sky stuff. And I just really want to play it, but they always have to have their expeditions and their big updates at the worst possible time for me.

• 34:25Speaker 06

  And in my universe, I'm at the center and their timing is bad.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  There you have it. I got another one, Bob, if you need more time.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought of one. It's beautiful out. The weather is finally in that sweet spot in Ohio where like it couldn't be better. It was, I was out today and it was like 73 degrees and sunny and warm in the sun, but a perfect breeze. It was like the perfect weather. And so I was like, I know what it's perfect for. I'll go get a car wash. All the people who own car washes around me were like, ah, let's just do some maintenance or some shit and close all our car washes. How did I go to three car washes and not get a single drop of water on my car? What the fuck? It's like the most perfect day for a car wash in the history of Ohio.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  And they were like, nah, we don't want money. Let's just close all of our car wash bays and do that shit in the winter. The one, I don't do this a lot. I don't take very good care of my car and that's on me and I am ashamed. But finally once I was like, let's treat this baby with some respect. Let's get a nice car, a touchless car wash. Let's go to the fancy ones. All closed. Fucking damn.

• 35:39Speaker 06

  Embarrassing.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  They don't usually have automatic car washes here out in LA, but they did open one. And Amy said, it's really fun, except they have an entire vacuum section in the back. And if you know anything about LA, things are sandwiched really close. So it's like all the vacuum sections are right by this fence where it's residential.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  So all day, those people just all day, every day because of it. But hey, it's an automatic car wash. I have, I actually do have one. I want you, I want you to know this guys. I'm going to let you guys decide whether this is shame worthy or not. This is from the LBC in the UK, whatever the hell that is. It's not the BBC for that sure. Anyway, Deputy Green Party leader admits to performing hypnotherapy to enlarge women's breasts in the past. Did it work? Wait a minute. I might be focusing on the wrong part, but did that work? Well, I'll leave you with some quotes. He said, you know, he apologized for his past

• 36:45Speaker 03

  actions, says, it does not represent my work. It does not represent me. This was 11 years ago. I wasn't involved in politics at all.

• 36:54Speaker 06

  You're feeling bigger breasted.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  I look, I don't know what his technique is. I'm not sure if like.

• 37:00Speaker 06

  They go into hypnosis and he just gets a big vacuum and just puts it on there and hopes to suck some of out. I don't know. I'm making that allegedly by me.

• 37:09Speaker 03

  Allegedly. Sure, sure, sure. Reveal the secrets of getting bigger breasts. It was 90 minute sessions allegedly costing 222 pounds UK sterling.

• 37:22Speaker 06

  Currency. I was like, that's how much each breast weighed at the end. Damn, that must have worked.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  God damn, can you imagine a 222 pound boob?

• 37:28Speaker 06

  No.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Anyway, he said he apologized. I apologized because I recognized that that can be offensive to people. But if it worked, you know, I don't know what the average cost of a breast enlargement surgery is, but 222 pounds might be a good deal. Yeah.

• 37:44Speaker 06

  Are you wanting to go for your breasts or your penis?

• 37:47Speaker 03

  I don't want to go for anything. He doesn't run it anymore. But I'm saying the secrets are out there.

• 37:51Speaker 06

  For the right price, he might.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Shame, no shame. You don't care? My contributions are shit? Is that what you're saying?

• 37:56Speaker 06

  That was pretty bad one. Yeah.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  I mean, I guess shame, but you know, also medical advancement. I don't know.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  Maybe. I'm just surprised that they haven't figured that out yet.

• 38:10Speaker 06

  If somehow it was effective, then I guess reached their own. People knew what they were signing up for.

• 38:14Speaker 04

  All right, more shame.

• 38:16Speaker 06

  Yeah, I've got one.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  Bob, do you have one?

• 38:18Speaker 06

  Hashtag.

• 38:18Speaker 03

  No, stop, shut up.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  Is it my turn?

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's your turn, Bob.

• 38:22Speaker 06

  Bob, you than Bob? All right.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  Did he go? He did go. Wait, he did go.

• 38:26Speaker 06

  That's what I literally know. I was here. I was here for that.

• 38:29Speaker 04

  I have one from nearby me. Adams County Commissioner busted for filming OnlyFans content in private helicopter. There was apparently a video put out on YouTube. Adams County near in the Cincinnati area, by the way, this is Adams County, Ohio. Apparently someone did an analysis of posts on social media by this elected official of flying their personal helicopter. And it has a very distinctive green air freshener hanging in it. And then video from an OnlyFans where the exact same air freshener appears in a helicopter that looks to be the exact same helicopter.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  For OnlyFans. I don't know what the specific content is, but it's on OnlyFans. So I presume it's not safe for work in some way or another. I don't know if it's, I don't know what it is, but anyway, shame.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Shame, shame. That is a very clear case of shame.

• 39:29Speaker 06

  And how much is a subscription asking for a friend?

• 39:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. Do they have a discount or something like a code?

• 39:35Speaker 04

  I think there's probably some kind of code somewhere. Yeah, I'm not sure. For for a friend unrelated.

• 39:42Speaker 06

  Are the little feats of the helicopter included in the photos asking for a friend?

• 39:46Speaker 04

  That's extra, but you can get that.

• 39:48Speaker 06

  And they're wearing the helmet with the microphone asking for a friend.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's in there.

• 39:53Speaker 06

  Shame.

• 39:54Speaker 03

  Shame. So goddamn shame.

• 39:57Speaker 06

  My credit card.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  Uh, okay. I got another one. Wait, you shouldn't wait.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  No, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

• 40:05Speaker 06

  Trending hashtags. You ever see something like new rock band and you're like, oh, that's so exciting. You look and it's like, not a new rock band.

• 40:16Speaker 06

  Just any of the misleading hashtags on any of these sites. I had one a while ago. It was trending for you and it said Mark is dead. And I was like, uh, what? I don't remember who it was, but it also, they weren't actually dead. It was just like promotion for an album or a game or something. All these misleading, like for you trending hashtags. We should do it with hashtags. Shame on hashtags for even existing. They're clickbaity bullshit. All right, Bob.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  I say shame on you, listener and or watcher for not going to the subreddit. Literally as of this recording, posted 37 minutes ago, joining the distractable subreddit book club. Because book one in the distracted book club is Dungeon Crawler Carl, which I won't shut up about. So you better go join the thing and fucking read it so we can all talk about it on the subreddit. I'm sure that the subreddit mods will really appreciate the amount of whatever I just brought into their laps.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Of our fans going to our subreddit.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, they're all, they're always, you seen the shit that those mods have to deal with? It's crazy over there. I don't know what happens on the subreddit, but.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  I want to make a declaration about the subreddit is I did it. I made the mods revoke that rule where you couldn't make posts about the episode the day it came out. You're welcome, everybody. I'm your hero.

• 41:44Speaker 06

  Boo.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  It was a big fight. Everyone was screaming, but I said, hey, I believe in what these people can make. And yes, not a single post has been of any content or value that anyone has made since that rule got revoked. And there have been multiple redundancies bullshit happening, but that's just the job of the moderators. I am welcome. Go to the subreddit.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Check out the subreddit.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, reddit.com slash artist slash distractable. Uh, I have another shame. School board in Japan fires teacher for working part-time job in a convenience store. And made the teacher issue an apology to children for quote, emotional damage caused from knowing their teacher has a part-time job. Shame.

• 42:28Speaker 04

  Embarrassing.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  I can't believe this teacher.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  Embarrassing.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Here's the article written on Sora News 24 by Casey Bessil. It's hard not to have a sinking feeling when you hear about a middle school teacher being reprimanded for inappropriate behavior. Was the educator involved in some sort of sexual impropriety involving a student? Or perhaps it was a case of physical abuse? Teacher taking out their frustrations on pupils by smacking them, falling perceived disrespect. Nope, uh, the teacher got in trouble for being a convenience, working in a convenience store. And apparently this is just because there's very strict rules in Japan about this, but also I feel really bad because.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, the next day after kids said to the principal that they saw their teacher, the next, the very next day, the principal of the school, the man teaches at made a trip to the convenience store and confirmed with his own eyes that the teacher was working there and confronted him about the matter. How fucking dare you, you piece of shit.

• 43:33Speaker 04

  And also my, my student will not be sharing classroom supplies with the other students, you socialist. Hang on, I'm choking on my own tongue.

• 43:43Speaker 03

  Anyway, all right, shame on whoever deserves it. Wade.

• 43:47Speaker 06

  That makes me think about all the people that just aren't content with where they end up with in the social hierarchy by birthright and are trying to better themselves. Shame on you, working multiple jobs. Why don't you just accept your lot in life? Don't try to improve yourself or those around you. Accept where you are. Shame on you for wanting anymore.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  So are you saying shame on both the pores for trying to get out of the poor place where we've, we, us three have designated them to be? And also shame on the riches for even deigning the other areas with their presence. They should stay up there. We should stay up here, us three, us, and then the pores should stay down there. No intermingling.

• 44:32Speaker 06

  I almost made a joke that I think I would have very much regretted, so I didn't say it.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Go for it, hit it, man. Put your heart into it.

• 44:40Speaker 06

  We should all be separate but unequal.

• 44:44Speaker 06

  Couldn't have said it worse myself. I'd like to shame me. Bob, you got a, you got a clear, obvious one here.

• 44:52Speaker 04

  It looks like Wade already is feeling the appropriate amount of shame for that thing you just said out loud.

• 44:58Speaker 06

  I really am, yeah.

• 45:00Speaker 04

  Mark should get some splash off shame for basically forcing you to say it. So.

• 45:05Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 45:06Speaker 04

  It's not just you.

• 45:07Speaker 06

  I did feel host peer pressure there. Yeah.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Okay. Minus half a point for shame on me, but full point for shame on Wade. You almost got that full bonus point, but not quite. All right. Now go your real one.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  Speaking of what Mark was talking about and not what Wade was talking about, school. You know, who's a student now and we all haven't thought about nearly enough in recent history? Emma Watson. That's right. Hermione Granger is pursuing a PhD at Oxford University, Oxford College, Oxford University, but the shame does not belong to Emma Watson. Despite being a coxswain for the new third women's college rowing team at Oxford. Yes, Emma Watson is a coxswain. No, it's not dirty. Yes, you should definitely Google that and see if you get close on the spelling.

• 45:56Speaker 04

  The entity that should feel shame is the High Wycombe Magistrates Court of Oxford, England. Emma Watson got busted for going 38 miles an hour in a 30 mile per hour zone and that court suspended her license for six months.

• 46:16Speaker 06

  That demon behind the wheels was driving.

• 46:19Speaker 04

  She basically murdered every child in a three mile radius by going eight miles an hour over the limit.

• 46:26Speaker 06

  Do you know what NFL players get for going like 50 miles over? A $200 fine.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  I'm just going to casually not mention that Emma Watson somehow already had nine points on her license, which I don't know what she does, but also funny story. The reason this court should feel extra shame, the actress who played Madame Hooch in the Harry Potter movies, Zoe Wannamaker, also on the same day in that exact same court, High Wycombe Magistrates Court, because she had nine points on her license, got banned from driving for six months on the same day for the same thing that Emma Watson did because she got a speeding ticket.

• 47:07Speaker 06

  So they had like a cast reunion at the courthouse.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, I was unrelated. I don't even know if they knew that each other was there, but this court is targeting actors from popular movies of the last decade and a half. And I won't stand for it. That's shameful is what that is.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  Okay, so what her previous offenses were were also for speeding and in the UK it's much stricter. In in America, I don't know about you guys, but I've heard this. Nine is fine, which is crazy to think about. If it nine over is fine, 10, you're mine. I've heard that from.

• 47:44Speaker 04

  Dude, in California, it's like if you're under 100, whatever. I swear to God, on certain highways in California, it was, I was doing like 85 in a 70 and I was like, I was like, holy fuck, I'm gonna die because everyone else is going like 95 miles an hour.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  I've been in that same situation where it's like, I'm going with the flow of traffic and in America, they have that kind of rule where you you should match the flow of traffic, whatever the flow of traffic is, because going too slow is also dangerous and people need to fucking realize it, especially when you're merging. There's a reason your gas can go, you know, you gotta.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  Shame, shame on slow mergers.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Yes, shame on slow mergers. I'm gonna give everyone a point for that. Shame on slow mergers.

• 48:28Speaker 06

  So literally, I think if you go like 40 or 50 over, it's like a $200 fine. If you go over 15, technically can't it be like a felony? It's like, it's worse to be 15 over.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  It can become reckless endangerment or something, it become like a felony, but they have to choose to enforce that and they often don't, is what I've heard, but.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Actually, Ohio is the highest for speeding tickets. They they give the most of of any other state.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  I believe that.

• 48:52Speaker 06

  Is it North Carolina where they had the thing where they'll give you a ticket, especially people that have out of town license plates? They'll send you a thing in the mail where you have to make an in person appearance or hire an in state lawyer to represent you and that whole thing feels like a racket.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  I don't believe North Carolina is the only place that does that, but yes, that is the thing.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Fair enough, but the only place I've gotten a speeding ticket was Indiana. So, but she only had three other speeding tickets. Before and it's but the fourth one is an automatic.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  And she was suspended license for six months on your fourth speeding ticket regardless of how minor the offense is.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Yes, and because they there's like anything over and and admittedly, I've accidentally gone thirty eight or something in a thirty before. We don't usually have thirties, usually it's twenty five, thirty five, but I've accidentally like turned a corner down a hill. Suddenly I'm like going forty two in a thirty five. I'm like, oh shit.

• 49:44Speaker 06

  We've all accidentally sped before, right?

• 49:46Speaker 04

  I accidentally hit ten to fifteen over on a regular basis on in Cincinnati. There's tons of like pretty big downhills and stuff. If you're just coasting, not paying attention on a downhill and you were you already going. I usually go five, seven, maybe eight over is like my normal range that I push. If you're already going that fast and you're coasting down a huge hill for a mile and a half, easily push it to like twenty over. If you don't pay attention and tap the brakes or something like.

• 50:13Speaker 06

  I swear four seventy one has a time of day I four seventy one where the average speed is like eighty five.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Oh, God, four seventy one, that bridge, that bridge over by Newport is terrifying because the speed limit's like fifty five. And the traffic has never ever gone fifty five that I've ever seen it in the decades I've been driving in this part of the the state.

• 50:33Speaker 06

  No, that is like NASCAR drivers only.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  Every time I've gone to the airport down seventy one, uh, you know, where it goes through the city and there's those tunnels where it's a flashing light like slow down, slow down.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  Like all the and then every time I go there, someone next to me passes me. Has to slam on the rakes and I'm like, I see the skid marks on the walls from where people just like that NASCAR driver just.

• 51:02Speaker 04

  No, man, it's the same on seventy five as you get down by the city. The speed limit's fifty five. But if you're going anything less than like sixty five, seventy, people will get up behind you and be like.

• 51:14Speaker 04

  Like you're like you're under the speed limit. It's like, dude, I am going ten over right now. Holy shit.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is. It is. Uh, yeah. So shame on speedsters.

• 51:24Speaker 06

  And the people that will tailgate when there's no one left or right that could just go around.

• 51:29Speaker 04

  So much shame. Also, Emma Watson should be embarrassed because she's getting a PhD in philosophy, and that's just embarrassing.

• 51:35Speaker 06

  Well, hold on. No, hold on. I'll get her.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  That is embarrassing.

• 51:37Speaker 06

  Oh, hold on. Hold on. PhD in philosophy.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I'll give you a point for that. I'll give you a point for that. Shame on philosophy. Okay, Wade, you want a shame on philosophy point?

• 51:46Speaker 06

  No.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  I'm giving you one. I'm giving you one.

• 51:49Speaker 06

  No, I refuse it. No, I want negative on it. I endorse philosophy.

• 51:53Speaker 03

  You'll have to flip a coin for that to work. All right. I'm forcing this on you.

• 51:58Speaker 06

  All right, heads, I'm right. Tails, you're wrong.

• 52:00Speaker 03

  No, no, he didn't call it that. Shame on.

• 52:02Speaker 06

  Oh, you're wrong, buddy. You're wrong.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  P H I L O S O P.

• 52:07Speaker 06

  I refuse this point. I protest this point.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  Philosophically speaking, you can't do that.

• 52:13Speaker 06

  That's unfair.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  There it is. All right. You said unfair.

• 52:17Speaker 06

  Where is Chica?

• 52:22Speaker 03

  All right, I got a, I got a box here. I'll get this box. It's pretty uniform.

• 52:28Speaker 06

  Boxes are designed to be flipped. Have you ever seen an Amazon delivery driver?

• 52:30Speaker 04

  Boxes are just thick coins waiting to be flipped.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  All right. So it's a, it's a thunderbolt cable box. Uh, this is heads, tails.

• 52:39Speaker 06

  What if it lands on its side?

• 52:40Speaker 03

  We've always had that rule, and I don't remember what the answer was, but we, we have a rule for that.

• 52:46Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  There we go.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  Heads.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Heads. Heads. Whoa, what the fuck?

• 52:54Speaker 06

  I win.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  You don't get a point for that, Wade. Wow. All right. No point for Wade.

• 53:00Speaker 04

  Wait, so does that mean Wade, Wade loses a point for endorsing philosophy? Is that what that means? Or, because that must be made.

• 53:07Speaker 03

  I won't subtract a point. That would be doubly unfair. I'll just not give him a point, but I'm scratching it out. Uh, but yeah, good job, Wade. You defended philosophy.

• 53:15Speaker 06

  Worth it.

• 53:19Speaker 08

  New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at the Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths, and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers. Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want online only at HomeDepot.com.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  The best part of waking up? A full cup of Folgers coffee and music on full blast.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Shop Folgers instant coffee and more at your nearest retailer.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  I think that has to end it there because my AirPods just gave me the sound that they're about to run out of...

• 54:26Speaker 06

  Shame!

• 54:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, shame on the battery life of these stupid things.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  I think I was just in a bad brain space for this type of thing. I didn't want to shame anyone when we started, but then Wade really got me heated up and then I felt like I found a groove. Wade, you always turn me on comedically.

• 54:42Speaker 06

  It might be the last time after some of the things I said this episode, I might be replaced.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Maybe, maybe, but we won't know until we know the answer because it's a very close game, an extremely close game. Wade, you have nine points.

• 54:55Speaker 06

  Yes!

• 54:56Speaker 03

  She could just farted. Bob, you have nine and a half points.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  Alright, that's enough!

• 55:02Speaker 03

  It could be anybody's, but unless a half point comes up, I am safe from the tie wheel. Thank goodness for that.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  Good thing there's some half point ones, and those would never come up.

• 55:12Speaker 06

  We also have an automatic host wins.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  Is there?

• 55:15Speaker 04

  There is one that says the host wins.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Oh man, the people really want the perfectest crime.

• 55:21Speaker 06

  I haven't worked on it. No, it's baking.

• 55:25Speaker 04

  If we tie and we get the one man show, our assignment... It will just be do that episode. All right. How many bonus points? That's the question and the wheel will tell us the answer.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  And Tika, why are you farting so much, girl?

• 55:37Speaker 04

  Oh, three chances. Uh, what are you adding to the wheel, sir?

• 55:42Speaker 03

  Um, let's say, uh, add two spins.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  I like that. Add two spins.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. So it has to be another one. Cause if we would just add one, it would just be a respin basically. So it would add two. Yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 04

  All right. I'm gonna shuffle that in and we got three spins coming. How ya? And so on.

• 56:02Speaker 03

  Loudest. Uh, Wade, you were pretty loud, but I don't know if you were any louder than usual. Was either of us loud?

• 56:09Speaker 04

  I didn't notice like a particularly loud moment, but.

• 56:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. Nothing jumps out. Respin that one.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  All right.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  It was one away from the host wins.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  Oh, man. I don't like that one. Why? Who put that? Least amount of sleep since last episode. I slept great. How'd you guys sleep?

• 56:34Speaker 04

  I've actually added a new medicine and have been sleeping just awful, like four ish, four to four and a half hours a night of sleep.

• 56:42Speaker 06

  I've not been that bad. I've been really good. The last three days. I had some rough sleep last week. I don't think I would say I've averaged four hours. That's, yeah.

• 56:49Speaker 04

  It's been not great.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  All right. Well, least sleep point goes to Bob. He's at 10 and a half now.

• 56:54Speaker 04

  All right. Here's spin number two. Come on, host wins.

• 57:01Speaker 06

  Why are we both hoping for that?

• 57:03Speaker 04

  I don't know. Honestly, I think this cause Mark doesn't want it.

• 57:06Speaker 03

  Most locked in Wade, you won the coin toss. You knew your topics. You knew your shame.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  I surrendered at the beginning of the episode.

• 57:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, he did. I, I gotta get that one, right?

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Gotta give this to Wade. You got most locked in. All right. It's still one point away.

• 57:20Speaker 06

  Host wins.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Really pulling for host wins for some reason, cause I hate Mark, I guess.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 57:36Speaker 04

  I swear there's no, I can't fucking manipulate this, I swear to god.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  It hung on the one to the left of it, it was like, oh, I'm stopped.

• 57:43Speaker 04

  I know, I know.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  You motherfucker, how is that possible?

• 57:51Speaker 04

  That's so desperately unlikely.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  We've had some crazy endings lately on this.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  We have, that's a 1 in 67 poll on that.

• 58:01Speaker 03

  It is definitely my season. I am definitely winning, I'm winning this season, but it's like, alright, I'll come up with the most perfectest crime.

• 58:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think the universe is basically commanding you to do that episode. You're not busy, are ya?

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, right? It's gonna be a three hour special, oh. Alright, I'll get it guys, I'll get it. You both are giving loser's speech today, so if this is a sponsored one, the sponsor won big time on this episode's loser's speech.

• 58:32Speaker 06

  Today's loser's speech is presented by T-Mobile 5G home internet. Everything moves fast these days and T-Mobile's home internet keeps up. With their fast speeds, quick setup and budget-friendly prices, they make it easy to stay connected, giving you the peace of mind you deserve. You know, it was a hard-tought episode, I even won a coin flip that took a potential tie or went away from me before the wheel spins happened. Destiny, my own will, fade itself, god in his carpal tunnel giving bullshit? They all deemed that I was meant to lose, and you know what? I accept.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  Bob, your loss, crushing. You were going to win, you didn't.

• 59:10Speaker 04

  I, listen, if anything, I feel like I somehow won even biglier, because clearly Wade and I were both trying desperately to lose this episode. At the end of it all, when I was totally up for grabs, neither of us could have won. We were both rooting for the one chance that we had to make Mark win for some reason. At the beginning of the episode, Mark declared a topic and I said, I have nothing, Wade's turn. And I was actively throwing, uh, I feel like I got exactly what I was trying to get. I just don't know why that's what I was trying to manifest into the universe. Now I feel kinda bad.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 59:51Speaker 04

  I just really like losing, I think. I'm getting a taste for it, you know? I hope we go lower on the podcast charts, cause hopefully it's better for me.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  We're all got the show to finish to get back up into the top ten.

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  Come on!

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  Loser's speech over, loser's speech over.

• 1:00:05Speaker 06

  Balls two, and whatever it takes. Top ten. Today's loser's speech was presented by T-Mobile's 5G home internet. So if you're looking for internet that keeps up with you, connect to T-Mobile home internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15 minutes setup and five-year price guarantee. Stay connected in a world that never slows down. Visit t-mobile.com/homeinternet to check availability.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  We all had our fun, but I think we can all agree that we have the only original podcast on this entire chart. At least we can say that. Every other podcast is just a rehash of the same thing. It's either three dudes talking, or it's three girls talking, or it's like some crime thing, or they're reading Reddit stories. We, we have a game show involved, and that's what sets us apart. We are original, we are great, I'm a winner, and therefore we're all a winner, except you're not, and it's just me. Thank you, me, for letting me win. I did this all through my own skill. And I'll say, I think I contributed more shame articles than you guys did anyway, so I think I deserve it, win.

• 1:01:04Speaker 06

  Why are you barricaded in a closet?

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  I'm not in a closet. Just cause there's no windows in here doesn't make it a closet.

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  He's hiding in his secret place. Don't call him out.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  Thank you, everybody, for launching us into the stratosphere up the charts. I know that it's a delayed reaction from when that episode came out, but you guys are pounding the pavement, you're sharing those clips, you're spreading the word, you're getting the funny out. Every drop of fun, every drop of funny, don't make fun of me.

• 1:01:29Speaker 06

  Every drop of funny.

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  I'm Mark. That's my screen. That's LordMinion777. None of us regret our user's name, and we definitely don't regret the name of this podcast. Say it with me, everybody at home. Chant it with fists in the air. I don't care if you're on the road or whatever. Two fists up like that guy from Prometheus went before he rammed his ship into the alien ship. What did he say?

• 1:01:52Speaker 06

  Actually, I haven't seen that.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  He went, "Yah!" So everybody go, "Ugh!"

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  Oh, the name of the podcast. Distract them all up yours!

• 1:02:04Speaker 06

  Well, that's what the guy says. He rams his plane into the alien ship on...

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  No, he said, "I'm back."

• 1:02:09Speaker 06

  Well, he does, but then he also says, "Up yours." He says both. Which does he say more of? He says that, but at one point, he's like, "In the words of my generation, up yours."

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  Oh, I guess he does. Anyway, bye. Podcast out.

• 1:02:27Speaker 08

  New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at The Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths, and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers. Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want online only at homedepot.com.

• 1:02:58Speaker 10

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive, or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting, and completely delicious. Simply. Say yes to simple.