Pod Insights Distractible The Pee Covered Episode About this episode The boys are finally back together again in Ohio, ready to let their streams of consciousness flow out in person. And from the looks of their streams, one of the guys is definitely allergic to Skyline, and another has a severe foot injury.
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.
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1:30 Speaker 03 This episode of Distractible is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay. How do you guys know when someone's really your friend? I don't know.
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2:13 Speaker 05 Good evening gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Distractible. This face-to-face episode. Microscopic Mark Lords His Lady Explains Internal Fementation Then Explores Sentience, Mortality, Mukbang, and Gills. Wide-Angled Wade Drinks Mr. Iplea Has A Sartorial Scrape But Regales With RPG Antics And Raid. Biologist Bob Minmaxes Admits Pavlovian Water Sports, Request One-Shots, And Splashes On Skins. From Editorial Issues To Serious Sporting Injuries. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
2:53 Speaker 05 It's time for the P-Covered Episode! Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
3:05 Speaker 03 Whoa! It's time for Distractible. It's time for another episode where we're in person and we have purposefully placed me not in the center so I don't look tiny. I don't look tiny, right?
3:18 Speaker 04 You look huge, man.
3:20 Speaker 03 Huge.
3:20 Speaker 04 Huge!
3:21 Speaker 03 I'm huge.
3:22 Speaker 04 Right?
3:23 Speaker 06 Hey, what were we saying? I was on the out.
3:26 Speaker 04 You could be supportive. Why can't we be supportive?
3:30 Speaker 06 We can be supportive, I just zoned out.
3:31 Speaker 04 What do you mean you zoned out? How did you zone out? We're sitting five feet away from each other.
3:35 Speaker 06 Oh yeah, we're doing an episode.
3:36 Speaker 04 Mark just started talking loudly and...
3:38 Speaker 06 I could get some food.
3:39 Speaker 04 Jesus Christ!
3:40 Speaker 06 Yeah, but you guys were talking about tech and I zoned out.
3:42 Speaker 04 No, we were talking about the podcast!
3:44 Speaker 06 Literally, you were like 40%, you can zoom out, and I was like, oh!
3:47 Speaker 03 It's the hardware of how we make this podcast.
3:49 Speaker 06 Yeah, I know, and I was bored.
3:51 Speaker 03 You could edit an episode if you had to, right?
3:53 Speaker 04 I think we should make it, we need to edit an episode, I think that would be...
3:56 Speaker 06 Remember when you had Tyler edit an episode of like, you'd be like that these days?
4:00 Speaker 03 Well, it was pretty good!
4:01 Speaker 06 I'm not editing in 10 years.
4:02 Speaker 04 It was, the process was funny to watch, but the episode was fine.
4:06 Speaker 06 It's been 10 years since I've edited a video.
4:08 Speaker 03 Well, then, time to... Dust off the skills in. I'm just saying.
4:12 Speaker 06 There was no skills then.
4:13 Speaker 03 Look, if we were both rendered incapable and then Sam.
4:18 Speaker 04 Died in a plane crash. I mean, fell asleep forever.
4:24 Speaker 03 Lived in a plane crash.
4:25 Speaker 04 Okay, sorry Sam.
4:26 Speaker 03 Uh, and then all the other editors also became incapacitated and there was no one except you to make sure that episode gets out on time.
4:33 Speaker 06 Retirement.
4:35 Speaker 04 Mr. Spotify is calling your landline at home and telling you, we need distractible.
4:43 Speaker 04 No, it's a landline. You don't have voicemail.
4:45 Speaker 06 We don't have one of those. We're safe.
4:46 Speaker 04 I just assumed that you would have a landline.
4:48 Speaker 03 Landlines can have voicemail.
4:50 Speaker 04 Well, it's called answering machine. It's not a voicemail.
4:52 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
4:53 Speaker 04 You have to, you have to have an answering machine where I guess you do still leave a voicemail technically, probably, but like. On your answering machine.
5:02 Speaker 06 Don't you used to have to call your answering machine?
5:04 Speaker 04 Dude, those were cool. You could call it and you pipe, punch in your secret code. We never had that. But, but I saw it on Seinfeld. I did that on Seinfeld. That was cool.
5:13 Speaker 03 How old are you guys? I don't remember that.
5:15 Speaker 06 Literally your age.
5:17 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're about, we're about the same.
5:19 Speaker 03 Sure, Mr. Zone Out.
5:21 Speaker 06 Yeah, I might look like Uncle Fester, but I'm the same age as you.
5:24 Speaker 03 I don't know. He doesn't know tech. He has some boomer tendencies over there. But you know who doesn't have boomer tendencies? Our Gen Z audience. Hit him with a, uh, zoomer joke.
5:37 Speaker 04 Do you ever just be in Ohio putting off a lot of riz and then you drop your phone in the skibitty toilet?
5:46 Speaker 06 No cap.
5:47 Speaker 04 No, that's not. Well, actually, is that zoomer?
5:49 Speaker 03 I, yeah, I think.
5:50 Speaker 04 That's sort of, that's sort of covers more a broader generation. I feel like lots of people use no cap. Cap or no cap.
5:56 Speaker 03 Look, there's, that was not a good thing for me to set Bob up for.
6:00 Speaker 04 And I like Captain America, so I'm not a fan of that language. What does that mean?
6:05 Speaker 06 No cap.
6:06 Speaker 04 Hey, Cap. No cap.
6:08 Speaker 03 Captain America killed people.
6:10 Speaker 04 I don't like Captain America. I'm a fan of that language.
6:14 Speaker 03 No, no, no. He killed Nazis.
6:16 Speaker 04 I love Captain America. He should do more of that.
6:20 Speaker 03 Uh, as you may know.
6:24 Speaker 03 I don't have my notebook, so I can't score anything. So we're not gonna do any scoring.
6:30 Speaker 06 Thank god that we didn't have to host, right? Because I don't have one either.
6:33 Speaker 03 I don't have a coin.
6:34 Speaker 04 I have my stuff. My, my normal stuff is like right over there. I could get my coin, get my, my D20.
6:41 Speaker 03 I think we just need to like take a step back from the rules of Distractible and just chat.
6:48 Speaker 06 It's convenient that you're the one hosting and you want to do that.
6:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, it is. It's not convenient for you winning.
6:53 Speaker 04 Really works out.
6:55 Speaker 06 I can lose, I'll find a way.
6:59 Speaker 03 Look, maybe someday you'll want to win, man. Maybe someday.
7:02 Speaker 06 No.
7:03 Speaker 04 That's the secret. It's like Wade's, Wade's incredible secret is he, he just never wants to win. So when he does win, he's actually really disappointed because then he has to host.
7:13 Speaker 06 Sometimes, sometimes. Sometimes I have ideas, about once a year.
7:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:17 Speaker 04 Sometimes I have Mandy's ideas.
7:19 Speaker 06 Yeah, sometimes I have Amy's.
7:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:22 Speaker 03 That's actually the secret of Distractible. We barely come up with ideas for ourselves.
7:26 Speaker 06 People keep suggesting that they should be the ones hosting and they're not wrong.
7:29 Speaker 03 Not wrong.
7:30 Speaker 06 The girls should be the ones hosting.
7:31 Speaker 03 I mean, Amy came up with 90% of the video ideas for Unisonus. That was 90% of Amy, just cranking ideas. So Idea Machine, really earning the creative producer title.
7:44 Speaker 04 Well, it's really funny, we were hanging out and I forget, one of you guys, I forget, it might have been you. We were just hanging out talking and like someone was like, God, remember all the really good Distractible episodes? Like the escape room? Look, and you just listed all the episodes that were like Mandy's ideas that I took. And she was in there, she was in the conversation and she was just all, hmm.
8:09 Speaker 04 Those are good episodes.
8:10 Speaker 03 Maybe she can quit the research foundation, just become an idea person. That would really be great for this podcast.
8:16 Speaker 06 See, I put effort in and people forget, I do bread and everyone's like, the cannoli episode, a classic.
8:22 Speaker 04 I haven't bought enough fridges to have any more classic episodes of my own.
8:26 Speaker 03 Uh, don't worry, the most perfectest crime is coming, guys.
8:29 Speaker 06 Oh yeah, we, man, we've seen the, the technology of a whole assembly line going into making.
8:34 Speaker 04 I've seen the board with the, the. Pins and the red yarn linking it all together.
8:38 Speaker 03 Man, it's gonna be crazy when that happens.
8:42 Speaker 06 Today?
8:43 Speaker 03 Nope, not today. Uh, so we haven't been together in a while. Um, Ohio has changed. Uh, in Ohio news, Skyline now has chicken chili.
8:54 Speaker 04 What did you say about it? Groundbreaking?
8:56 Speaker 03 Tasted exactly the same.
8:57 Speaker 04 Oh, exactly the same.
8:58 Speaker 03 That's what you want, though, I think. There is a new development. I am allergic to Skyline.
9:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's so weird. Do you think it's, cause you had said that thing about the yeasty fermentation thing, or do you think it's just an allergy to something specific?
9:13 Speaker 06 Is it your yeasty permutations?
9:15 Speaker 03 Yes, my yeasty permutations.
9:16 Speaker 04 I see, I see.
9:17 Speaker 03 Look, no, what he's, uh, what he's saying.
9:23 Speaker 04 What he's saying.
9:26 Speaker 03 There's this thing for some people, I don't know how common it is, but where if you have your gut biome, which is bacteria, if you didn't know, your gut is just basically a whole bunch of bacteria, right? Okay, there's intestines in there. It's not all just bacteria. Okay, it's lying.
9:42 Speaker 04 Your body's just a sack full of juice and bacteria.
9:46 Speaker 06 You know, some people in the summer go like, I hate when they explain things.
9:53 Speaker 04 Oh, and mitochondria, where your power comes from.
9:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, which is basically a bacteria.
9:58 Speaker 06 It's always spit on our food before we eat it, so we can digest it outside the body, then put it in, and the bacteria's like, go where you need to go, little fellas.
10:04 Speaker 03 That's, I don't know what he's talking about. Someone ban this movie.
10:08 Speaker 04 You extend your proboscis, you vomulate on your food, and then you ingest the pre-digested, predigested, fuck, I shouldn't have tried to say that word. Fucking predigested, not a good one. Anyway.
10:20 Speaker 03 There used to be a theory that you see by shooting rays out of your eyes.
10:24 Speaker 04 Is that why they invented ray tracing?
10:26 Speaker 03 Well, that's the funny thing, because it's the same process. You can tune out, this is gonna be technology talk.
10:32 Speaker 06 Don't we see that rays of light going into our eyes, not out?
10:36 Speaker 04 That's technology talk right there.
10:38 Speaker 06 Eyes, guys.
10:41 Speaker 06 I learned that before that, though. Anyway, talk about your ray tracing.
10:44 Speaker 03 No, I'm talking about the gut, right?
10:46 Speaker 06 You tracing?
10:47 Speaker 03 We'll get to that later.
10:48 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
10:49 Speaker 03 Okay, so rays of your gut, you know, food goes in.
10:52 Speaker 06 Rays of food, yeah.
10:54 Speaker 03 Energy, right? But there's yeast in things, right? So yeast is used, well, certain types of yeast, probably. Is it yeast?
11:04 Speaker 04 I mean, yeast is used for anything that ferments and also in any sort of like, uh, what's it called? Certain types of dough.
11:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:10 Speaker 04 Yeasted doughs.
11:11 Speaker 06 The power of the sun in the palm of my gut. Remember that Spider-Man movie?
11:16 Speaker 03 I don't remember that Spider-Man movie, but I remember another one with a similar quote.
11:20 Speaker 04 Yeah, I fancy myself a bit of a scientist.
11:23 Speaker 06 I fancied a scientist once.
11:25 Speaker 04 I'm a fancy scientist. What are you talking about?
11:27 Speaker 03 Are we slipping universes like suddenly changing Spider-Man quotes?
11:31 Speaker 04 If you think that shit gets unhinged when we're all talking on the delay of internet and we can't physically interact with each other. We've done this before, you know what happens.
11:40 Speaker 03 Yeah. Gut.
11:42 Speaker 06 Gut.
11:42 Speaker 03 Gut.
11:43 Speaker 04 Yeast.
11:43 Speaker 03 Gut, yeast, maybe not yeast. If you get a change in your gut bacterium, you can produce alcohol because it's bacteria that ferments. Uh, right.
12:00 Speaker 06 So if we give you Skyline.
12:02 Speaker 04 It ferments sugars.
12:03 Speaker 03 Sugars.
12:03 Speaker 04 Sugars ferment into alcohol.
12:04 Speaker 06 So we give Mark Skyline, then we like put a little like one of those barrel tappers in and we could just drink alcohol straight out of Mark.
12:10 Speaker 04 Yeah. Get a, get a hose in the top of Mark, just a skyline coming in and then get a hose out the belly button. Vodka, I assume.
12:20 Speaker 03 Hole just that's convenient.
12:22 Speaker 04 I don't want to drink.
12:23 Speaker 03 What if we open a brew?
12:24 Speaker 04 And Marcus drinks Mark's ass juice. I'm sorry.
12:28 Speaker 03 All right, fine. My belly button. Okay, whatever. I have a scar below my belly button.
12:33 Speaker 04 Well, she's that.
12:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, tap into that. That'd be great. But that is actually what happens. You ferment alcohol, you ferment sugar into alcohol in your gut and you get drunk because it's already in your gut. So you absorb it right away. So you're like perpetually drunk because your body just won't stop producing alcohol.
12:50 Speaker 04 Which has another layer of joy for someone who has a sensitivity to alcohol in your system.
12:55 Speaker 03 Yeah. So when I had Skyline and the secret ingredient of Skyline, and I'm about to be assassinated by Mr. Skyline, but the secret ingredient of Skyline is yeast, right? They use a lot of yeast in their chili, which gives it a certain flavor. And maybe that's fermenting an alcohol in my gut. And I know some biologist is going.
13:20 Speaker 06 This is just a theory, not even, I can't even say it's like a game theory.
13:23 Speaker 04 A gut theory.
13:25 Speaker 06 We did not put that much effort into the theories. That's really insulting, Matt Pat.
13:30 Speaker 04 Mark had it. Mark thought things.
13:32 Speaker 03 I bet on some idea board from Matt Pat's office, there is a body theory. To Min Max, like working out bigger loads.
13:43 Speaker 04 That's his next adventure. He's gonna, he's gonna start a podcast and write a book about Min Maxing body.
13:50 Speaker 06 That's just a theory, a sex theory.
13:56 Speaker 04 I'd watch that.
13:57 Speaker 03 What's the theories?
13:59 Speaker 04 I don't.
13:59 Speaker 06 It's on Matt Pat's board.
14:00 Speaker 04 How to do, how to be good at sex stuff. I don't know. Like today, we're gonna talk about what you should do with your hands. All right.
14:11 Speaker 06 Are you trying to go in like this during?
14:14 Speaker 04 Should I put my hands in the air like I'm being held up at gunpoint? No.
14:20 Speaker 03 I just wonder how he's gonna rope five nice and frigging into it.
14:26 Speaker 06 What was the FNAF two like, was it that Chica that everyone loved? Was it Bonnie? There was one that like, people like crushed on, wasn't there?
14:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, wasn't it not the messed up old Chica, but the new Chica from the second one? That everyone got real horny about?
14:39 Speaker 06 Yeah, easy to tie into that.
14:42 Speaker 03 How would you have sex with a robot? How would you do it?
14:45 Speaker 06 Program a hole.
14:49 Speaker 03 Programmer's in the pocket.
14:55 Speaker 03 You can't program a hole.
14:57 Speaker 06 Not with that attitude.
14:58 Speaker 03 You wouldn't download a hole, would you?
15:01 Speaker 04 Whoa.
15:02 Speaker 06 No, you upload.
15:03 Speaker 04 Whoa.
15:05 Speaker 03 You wouldn't download a car. Well, you don't know about cars.
15:08 Speaker 06 Alright, man. I literally drove here.
15:10 Speaker 03 In your rent. Anyway, what were we talking about before that?
15:13 Speaker 06 Guts.
15:14 Speaker 04 You're allergic to skyline.
15:16 Speaker 03 Right, I'm allergic to skyline. And it's not a severe allergy, but if I eat skyline, I get a flush that is similar to when I would drink. Just like if I had one Smirnoff Ice.
15:27 Speaker 06 Schmear? Is it Schmear? Was it Smirnoff? Is it Schmear now?
15:31 Speaker 03 It's Schmear now.
15:32 Speaker 06 Oh. Okay.
15:34 Speaker 04 I thought I had something to add, but he's right. That was it. It's Schmear now.
15:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, so that's the go.
15:42 Speaker 06 Does that mean it's Schmikes Hard Lemonade?
15:43 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
15:44 Speaker 04 Wouldn't it be Mike?
15:45 Speaker 06 Damn it, you're so much smarter than me.
15:48 Speaker 04 Mike's Hard Lemonade. It connects the words together.
15:52 Speaker 06 Mike's Hard Lemonade.
15:55 Speaker 04 It makes you say, it makes you say like a pirate. Mike's Hard Lemonade. Or like, it's more like a boat captain, but whatever.
16:02 Speaker 06 Yardee-dahdee-dah. Don't say that.
16:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, you know what that was? That was Mr. Krabs. That's what that was.
16:16 Speaker 04 SpongeBob me boy. We're gonna have some Mike's Hard Lemonades. Yardee-dahdee-dah. Yeah, I remember that episode, probably. Weird product placements in that show.
16:29 Speaker 00 Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.
16:59 Speaker 01 Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to $35 on your next fill up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on fresh, quality food, plus digital and personalized offers tailored to how you shop, your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger, fresh for everyone. Restriction supplies. See site or store for details.
17:31 Speaker 03 This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah. We all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered, it's showing up no matter what. I think that might be them knocking on the door and because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Dude, them or the FBI? I'm not 100% sure.
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18:04 Speaker 04 I have a bold proclamation.
18:06 Speaker 03 Okay.
18:07 Speaker 04 I have never had so much pee on my skin as I have in the last several days.
18:16 Speaker 03 Given that I know.
18:16 Speaker 04 Human pee.
18:17 Speaker 03 I know what event you were at like a few days ago. And I'm kind of curious what might have been going on.
18:24 Speaker 06 That's the one.
18:25 Speaker 04 You don't wanna know. You don't wanna know. No, uh, actually, right on Monday of this week. I think it was kind of an accident, but it ended up happening on Monday of this week. We've been trying to potty train James for a while. And it started with just like, we'll just let him sit like, we'll let him sit on the potty. We'll try and catch him. And there are a bunch of strategies that are really intense. Like one of the strategies is he just doesn't wear pants or a diaper. And whenever he starts peeing or pooping, you just grab him and go, and run to the bathroom. Which sounds like the most insane shit I've ever heard of.
19:03 Speaker 04 But the, the strategy that we have gone with is set a timer for like, start at 15. It's at 20 minutes now. You set a timer and you slowly lengthen the timer. And every time the timer goes off, James goes to the bathroom. So that it's like, he hopefully doesn't have an opportunity to go in his diaper. You get in there and if he sits and if he goes, he goes. If he doesn't go, it's fine. It's like you make it fun and you have like books and you hang out. And he gets rewarded for going and being good.
19:30 Speaker 06 Is this like Pavlov's dog in this? When he goes to school one day, like the bell goes off for next period. He's like, oh no, the timer.
19:37 Speaker 04 It might.
19:37 Speaker 06 Okay.
19:38 Speaker 04 We're unsure about the Pavlovian things that we're building into our son. But this is one of the methods that like, it's online. People are like, it works, but I trained my kid in one week. Uh, but he's been doing really good. He likes it generally and he does generally what he's supposed to do. But he does not care if his pee is aimed into the toilet. And so if you're not paying close attention, cause like I set him on there and I get him situated. So it's good, but he sits there and he wiggles and he does stuff. And he, he might stand up and sit back down. And by the time he actually does go to the bathroom. A lot of times you're just standing there and all of a sudden it's just like.
20:16 Speaker 04 Get that, aim it down, but. He's doing really good and he's making progress. Got to get potty trained so he could be ready to go to preschool because he's a smart kid and he's gonna need more mental stimulation. He needs, he needs to learn. He, he's pretty much only happy if he's learning shit, which is awesome, but exhausting when it's like, okay, it's 45 minutes till bedtime. I'm exhausted and James is like, tell me about every animal in the Sahara. And I'm like, God, I only know like five.
20:48 Speaker 03 That's why you did so good on the animal part.
20:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, no, I literally, the Quetzalcoatlus, I know Quetzalcoatlus, whatever, that dinosaur. I know so many more animals than I ever did in the rest of my entire life because James will just be like, tell me about animals. And, and I'll be like, oh, what about penguins? And he's like, I know about penguins. Keep good new ones. I'm like, God, I don't know. I gotta go study. I wasn't ready for the pop quiz.
21:19 Speaker 03 Uh, that's delightful. Just make up animals.
21:21 Speaker 04 That's dangerous. Do you remember shit?
21:24 Speaker 03 That's true. I mean, authors do it all the time. Have you gotten into mythical animals yet?
21:28 Speaker 04 Uh, not so much. That actually is an interesting thing. He sort of developmentally, he's starting to get to the place where he like, he understands that stories exist in like other worlds, kind of, but he really doesn't get that all stories aren't just like things that happen in real life all the time. So the cra- like we, Manny and I both really like Nightmare Before Christmas. Classic movie, enjoyable movie, terrifying for him. He loves the music. If you just play the music, he's all, this is how the-
21:59 Speaker 03 It is a terrifying movie.
22:00 Speaker 04 But like the visuals of the movie and the characters of the movie.
22:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:05 Speaker 04 He, he is immediately just like, ah, we had a thing where we, we just, we showed him like, Manny showed him like the first minute. And after stuff started happening on screen at the very opening of the movie, he was like, it's scary. It's scary. And for like a week afterwards, every time he went to bed, we like do the whole thing. He's all happy. We read books. We put him down. We're like, all right, good night, dude. And he's all, I'm scared of Halloween. Oh God. And we're like, it's not real. It's okay. It's a movie. Those guys can't hurt you.
22:33 Speaker 03 The timing's bad because Halloween's right around the corner. So that's probably.
22:37 Speaker 04 But like stuff he sees in real life that might be scary to other kids. He's actually pretty chill about. Like he thinks we go to like Menards and Home Stores and stuff and they have those huge witches and. And when we're at the store, he's like, ha, giant witch. And he thinks it's awesome, but in movies and stuff like if it's too creepy. Or like Nightmare Before Christmas is very like stylized and but if that existed in real life.
23:02 Speaker 06 Oh, yeah. Hocus Pocus.
23:03 Speaker 04 That would be scary.
23:04 Speaker 06 Cause I love Hocus Pocus, but I was scared of, uh, was it Billy? They got the sealed mouth.
23:08 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
23:09 Speaker 06 He was scary.
23:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
23:11 Speaker 03 Wait, how old is James?
23:12 Speaker 04 Uh, James turns three in December.
23:14 Speaker 03 Oh, so he hasn't achieved consciousness yet. True consciousness.
23:18 Speaker 04 I don't know what that means.
23:19 Speaker 03 When he, yeah, when did you achieve consciousness?
23:22 Speaker 04 Oh, I don't have any memories before I was like, uh, actually like three ish, but.
23:27 Speaker 06 I have like two memories of being four.
23:29 Speaker 04 He's had object permanence since he was born, so I feel like.
23:33 Speaker 03 Hardly counts.
23:34 Speaker 04 I feel like that's exactly what that is.
23:36 Speaker 03 No, not true consciousness. You got, you got when your first memory, you've got when you realize your own mortal coil is slowly shrinking. And then 25, when your frontal lobe seals up like a trap.
23:49 Speaker 04 Seals up and stops growing or doing anything else. Well, it can shrink. It just stops getting any bigger or more interesting.
23:56 Speaker 06 Oh, yeah. It's, it's leaking.
23:57 Speaker 04 Yeah. You're not going to get any shorter like some people do, but your frontal lobe is.
24:02 Speaker 03 I saw your head slightly tilt towards me, man. I saw it like, it's like.
24:05 Speaker 04 No, I didn't. You're not getting shorter. You're, you're in the prime of your life.
24:10 Speaker 03 I might be.
24:11 Speaker 04 Saying the word short doesn't just always mean it's about you.
24:13 Speaker 06 On the bell curve of self-actualization, I'm on the wrong end of it now.
24:17 Speaker 03 Okay. What does that mean?
24:19 Speaker 06 That means I'm slowly losing myself.
24:21 Speaker 04 The music, the moment. You want it, you better never let it go.
24:26 Speaker 06 Oh, you said, bitch, you better never let it go. Is that what he says?
24:30 Speaker 04 I, I'm not enough. I'm not authority on that. You might be right.
24:33 Speaker 06 Do you know the Eminem?
24:35 Speaker 03 Yes, I know the Eminem.
24:36 Speaker 04 I like the peanut butter ones. Sorry.
24:41 Speaker 04 I do though. Peanut butter Eminems are the superior kind.
24:44 Speaker 06 Peanut. I prefer peanut.
24:45 Speaker 04 Fight me.
24:46 Speaker 03 Take that, Ethan.
24:47 Speaker 04 I don't dislike peanut Eminems. Yeah. Anything that kills Ethan. Fucking love that.
24:50 Speaker 03 Man, I love guns.
24:55 Speaker 04 That dude is a wimp.
24:58 Speaker 04 Which is like guns kill him. What an idiot.
25:01 Speaker 03 One bullet, that's all it would take. Those stupid gun M and Ms we couldn't eat on tour.
25:07 Speaker 04 You remember that one show we walked in the green room and peed out M and Ms and AK-47 just stacked up on the table of the bag and we were like, get these out of here. He's gonna never make it.
25:24 Speaker 03 Did you say what's going on in your life yet?
25:27 Speaker 06 Nope.
25:29 Speaker 04 Oh, cool. Alright. You're just not participating in this.
25:32 Speaker 03 Sure you got there.
25:33 Speaker 06 Thank you. Yeah, it's a distractible shirt. I had to I was gonna say I had to kill people to get it, but I don't really wanna make that proclamation. No, it was just sent to me.
25:42 Speaker 04 Oh, that's true.
25:46 Speaker 03 No delay, you guys speaking.
25:49 Speaker 04 One of us speaks at the same time as the other and so does the other one and we say the same thing. None of them are riddles or rhymes.
25:55 Speaker 03 Man, you really sounded so at the same time there. I only heard one voice.
25:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, it sounded like just I was talking.
26:03 Speaker 03 Alright, what's going on with your life?
26:05 Speaker 06 I hurt my foot, got real infected and was real scary for like a couple of days. Cause I was like, at what point do you go to the doctor for an infection? Like when you just get like a scrape or a cut, it's like, it'll heal.
26:15 Speaker 04 You haven't been to a doctor for that?
26:17 Speaker 06 No.
26:18 Speaker 04 I mean, it's getting better, right? So like
26:20 Speaker 06 Oh, yeah.
26:21 Speaker 04 It looks like I would have already gone to a doctor.
26:25 Speaker 06 A couple of days ago, it was pretty shady. It was pretty
26:27 Speaker 03 How did that happen?
26:30 Speaker 06 I got fitted for dress shoes and I wore them. They did not work properly.
26:36 Speaker 03 When you got fitted, did you tell them?
26:39 Speaker 06 Yeah, well, I know. I told them it was like, actually it was a little bit loose in the back. I was like, God, my foot's kinda like sliding out a little bit. They're like, oh, no, no, these fit. Just make sure you slide all the way back, then tighten the shoe. And I was like, I've put on shoes my whole life. I feel like I've done that correctly. And they were like, oh, the problem is you're wearing these temporary dress socks. Cause they tried them on. The real dress socks are thicker. I'm like, they're really not, but okay.
27:04 Speaker 04 Were you buying a suit at a fancy store where they assumed you were gonna have like merino wool dress socks?
27:09 Speaker 06 They sold me the dress socks.
27:11 Speaker 04 Oh, so they shouldn't. Well, the real dress socks are thicker. Sell them these fake ones.
27:16 Speaker 06 They have the little crappy things that like you try them on with, right? The little like, put these on. They're closer to dress socks than your real socks. And they're like pantyhose or something, but they were like, oh no, you're real, you're gonna be perfect. That'd be great. And then like within an hour of wearing the shoes, I was like, this is unusual. I've walked in dress shoes before. Ow.
27:35 Speaker 04 Did you slide your feet all the way back before you tightened?
27:38 Speaker 06 I sure did. My right heel was all bruised up, but there was no blister or anything. Left foot was just like fucking die bitch. And then, man, it felt like it. But yeah, it got real swollen, real red. No other colors. It wasn't like green or anything.
27:52 Speaker 04 Did I have discharge or pus?
27:55 Speaker 06 Oh, a lot.
27:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's concerning.
27:57 Speaker 06 It was like three days of.
27:59 Speaker 03 And you didn't?
28:00 Speaker 04 You didn't?
28:01 Speaker 03 Go to the doctor?
28:02 Speaker 04 Check in on that or even like text, you know, you can like message your doctor, be like, hey, my foot's really infected and stuff's coming out.
28:09 Speaker 06 I was busy.
28:10 Speaker 03 With what? You're not telling us what you were doing.
28:13 Speaker 06 I don't know, just busy.
28:16 Speaker 04 It's not interesting. You wouldn't, you wouldn't want to hear about it. Very busy though.
28:19 Speaker 06 Thought in my mind was, I might need a doctor, but like, I also don't want to go all the way to a doctor for a little scrape.
28:25 Speaker 04 You could do it on your phone. You could, I text my doctor all the time.
28:30 Speaker 06 My doctor texts, he's an older dude.
28:32 Speaker 04 What? You don't have like the app or like my chart or anything like I, my doctor doesn't text me.
28:38 Speaker 06 For years, I never did.
28:39 Speaker 04 Okay, well, it's.
28:41 Speaker 06 Yeah.
28:41 Speaker 04 I guess, you know what? That's on me. Cause that's technology and I should know better.
28:46 Speaker 03 That's true.
28:47 Speaker 06 Uh, no, but it was a little sketch for a little while.
28:49 Speaker 04 No, that looks bad, dude. I would have definitely like at least asked a doctor.
28:54 Speaker 06 This is almost perfectly healed. You should, two days ago.
28:57 Speaker 04 That does not look great. That looks like it probably felt real bad.
29:00 Speaker 03 I don't know how a shoe did that to you.
29:02 Speaker 06 Well, it happened and then I wore them. I had to wear them a couple of days in a row.
29:06 Speaker 03 Forward and tied it?
29:07 Speaker 06 Yeah.
29:08 Speaker 03 It was like an inch back there.
29:09 Speaker 06 Yeah, it was not, it was not a good time, but we're doing okay. Other than that, uh, what did I do?
29:14 Speaker 04 You were busy, so.
29:15 Speaker 06 I was, very busy. No, can't think of a thing.
29:19 Speaker 03 What the fuck? Do you zone out of your whole life?
29:22 Speaker 06 I mean, just doing stuff.
29:24 Speaker 04 Do you, do you have that click remote? Do you accidentally keep fast forwarding through bits of stuff?
29:28 Speaker 06 Sometimes it feels like it.
29:29 Speaker 03 Are you fast forwarding right now and we wouldn't know it?
29:31 Speaker 04 That would make a lot of sense.
29:32 Speaker 06 This is a hundred percent a moment I would.
29:35 Speaker 03 What the fuck?
29:36 Speaker 04 Damn.
29:40 Speaker 06 I might have just said that for the bit. I might not have.
29:43 Speaker 03 Oh, man.
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30:17 Speaker 00 Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.
30:48 Speaker 03 All right, fine then. I guess we'll just circle back to whatever the hell else is going on in the world. Fun stuff, right?
30:55 Speaker 04 Only good things. As far as I've heard. I don't listen. I listen like Wade listens to the news.
31:01 Speaker 06 Yeah, there's no real way to address the news, is there?
31:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, new iPhones came out. How about them, huh?
31:07 Speaker 06 Yeah.
31:08 Speaker 04 That's pretty fine. It's not really time for me to get a new one. Well, I have a 15, so it's like almost a couple of years old, but also it still works perfectly fine, so.
31:17 Speaker 06 Oh, oh. Sorry.
31:19 Speaker 03 Go.
31:20 Speaker 04 Whoa.
31:22 Speaker 06 I had a thought and my thought involved me jerking for some reason.
31:25 Speaker 04 Do you need to get it out?
31:27 Speaker 06 No, I can wait.
31:28 Speaker 04 I was just sort of sort of bantering. It was not very interesting. You can go.
31:32 Speaker 06 It's not that interesting, but it was something I did.
31:34 Speaker 03 You know what? Why don't we just let him go?
31:36 Speaker 04 Yeah, no, I want to know now.
31:38 Speaker 06 I pre-ordered the Switch 2 finally. And by pre-order, I mean because I'm getting it comboed with the new Pokemon games that are coming out. So I'm gonna be playing Switch 2 in soon. I don't know when it comes out. I should check the receipt. I think it's October or something. What month is it now?
31:54 Speaker 03 You just scroll the internet and you go, oh, Pokemon.
31:57 Speaker 06 Oh, it's worse. I did it in person.
31:59 Speaker 03 I'm looking for that word I know.
32:00 Speaker 04 How do you even, you went to a GameStop and pre-ordered in person? Was it 2008?
32:06 Speaker 06 I still have the GameStop card from.
32:09 Speaker 04 You have a power-up card?
32:10 Speaker 06 I do, yeah.
32:11 Speaker 04 Oh, man. Do you pay for your power-up subscription annually?
32:14 Speaker 06 Probably because I've never canceled it.
32:16 Speaker 03 This is great. I love this because not only did you go to a GameStop and, and buy this, but you, you didn't pay attention to anything else. Tunnel vision.
32:28 Speaker 04 Big posters on the wall. They're like, Pokemon coming October.
32:31 Speaker 06 Well, at the time, they told me the date, but I, it was in an hour.
32:34 Speaker 04 You didn't listen.
32:35 Speaker 06 Yeah, probably.
32:37 Speaker 04 Man, what do you do at restaurants?
32:39 Speaker 06 I don't.
32:39 Speaker 04 You're sitting there looking at the menu and the waiter comes over like, hey, welcome to, uh, welcome to Red Robin. You, you guys want to order your drinks? But, and you look up and you're like, what the fuck did you say to me? Who is this person? Why are they talking to us?
32:51 Speaker 06 It's getting to the point where I'm worried. Like, the next 10 years, I might, I'm just so distractible.
32:58 Speaker 03 This is where if we had like a midpoint of the show, it would freeze frame and then we'd come back out of the conversation. That'd be really good.
33:05 Speaker 04 We don't do that though, so it's just, you're just still here.
33:08 Speaker 03 You know, other shows do that where they have like sound, you, this is why we're falling in the charts. It's because other shows have like sound bites going into the ad.
33:17 Speaker 06 Even after our vicious attacks on those above us, we're still falling.
33:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:21 Speaker 06 Oh, it's your guys fault.
33:23 Speaker 03 I can't believe.
33:24 Speaker 06 We've done our part.
33:25 Speaker 04 I can't believe none of those other shows got canceled after what we threw out there.
33:28 Speaker 03 I know, right? The shame of them. I think that would have pushed them off the internet.
33:32 Speaker 06 I thought Amy Poehler would be running for the hills after what you said.
33:36 Speaker 03 I fear that we may have only given them promotion.
33:40 Speaker 06 Yeah, and made ourselves look foolish in the process?
33:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:43 Speaker 04 We should talk shit about our show, because then that'll give us the same promotion. And we know lots of things about our show.
33:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:51 Speaker 06 I don't, I don't know a lot.
33:52 Speaker 04 Yeah, no, you don't.
33:53 Speaker 06 You guys have got very tricky.
33:55 Speaker 03 That's the thing, like, one of the hosts barely even exists. I think one of those is secretly a cardboard cutout most of the time.
34:01 Speaker 04 Hmm, like a partially sentient cardboard cutout that can just say some things sometimes, but has no idea what's really going on?
34:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly.
34:08 Speaker 06 That is such a good idea.
34:10 Speaker 03 You're not gonna remember it.
34:11 Speaker 04 You don't even know what we were just saying.
34:13 Speaker 06 He said something, Wade's probably cardboard cutout, he meant me, he didn't say it, but he was.
34:17 Speaker 04 Yeah, we definitely meant you.
34:19 Speaker 06 It was very obvious, like, I agree, it probably would be me.
34:22 Speaker 03 Well, if we're gonna have some kind of structure, then I guess we gotta talk about, I guess, the world.
34:28 Speaker 06 The Maltese Falcon.
34:31 Speaker 06 I don't know, it's from some show, but it came to mind.
34:33 Speaker 04 It's a movie, isn't it? Is it the Maltese Falcon, like, an old, like, Humphrey Bogart movie, like, where everyone's all, eh?
34:41 Speaker 06 I think maybe, anyway, referenced it once.
34:43 Speaker 04 It's like an old, isn't he like an old school, like, classic American actor, Humphrey Bogart?
34:47 Speaker 06 Like, before our time, by a while.
34:49 Speaker 04 Like, black and white, like, eh?
34:51 Speaker 03 I haven't watched any classic movies.
34:53 Speaker 04 Come on, honey.
34:54 Speaker 06 Was he the frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn guy, or is that someone else?
34:57 Speaker 04 One, I think that's not.
34:58 Speaker 06 The movie experts out there, like, no, they're not gonna get here, they're not gonna get here.
35:00 Speaker 04 No, yeah, no, right, cuz that's, is that from Casab, no, that's, is that from Casablanca? No, that's not from Casablanca. He's in Cat, I shouldn't talk about this. I don't know anything about Humphrey Bogart.
35:10 Speaker 03 All right, then.
35:11 Speaker 04 But I'm pretty sure frankly, my dear, I just don't give a damn, like, it's the wrong quote, but it's what everyone says, too, but I don't know what the real one is. Frankly, my dear, I just don't fucking care.
35:21 Speaker 06 Everyone gets the Darth Vader quote wrong, too, the no, I'm your father one. People say that one wrong, too, actually.
35:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, Amy was listening to the episode where you guys shortened famous quotes, and said it was one of the funniest things that she's ever heard. Oh man.
35:40 Speaker 06 Was that the I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Dino?
35:42 Speaker 03 Yeah. I gotta do, man, hey, remember when we had good ideas?
35:48 Speaker 06 No.
35:49 Speaker 03 Maybe we should just come up with ways we could improve.
35:52 Speaker 06 We should just do more part twos and threes. All those episodes are bangers.
35:55 Speaker 03 I know, right? Why do we keep coming up with new ideas?
35:57 Speaker 06 Dude, I love stealing your guys' ideas for part twos and threes.
36:00 Speaker 03 I know. All right. We gotta brainstorm how we can be better.
36:04 Speaker 04 Oh, is that what we're doing now?
36:05 Speaker 03 No, no, no. Do you have an idea?
36:06 Speaker 04 Well, I was just gonna say, you've been in Ohio. You're allergic to skyline. I was thinking we could just talk about Ohio stuff. But I think we've done that before. It's the other thing I just realized.
36:14 Speaker 03 No, no, we gotta be better. How do we be better?
36:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
36:17 Speaker 03 What are those other podcasts doing that we aren't doing?
36:20 Speaker 06 Go to lunch while filming. We should do that.
36:22 Speaker 03 That actually probably would be much better than. I'm so hungry right now.
36:26 Speaker 04 I have not eaten yet either. I wasn't sure.
36:28 Speaker 06 Mukbang, mukbang.
36:30 Speaker 04 Oh, we would be good. We could, between you and me, and you're a pretty good eater, but between you and me, we could have a, we could finish a mukbang, which I'm not sure if they do that or not. Cause on those videos, it always looks like way more food than any of those people could ever eat. But I feel like we could do it.
36:46 Speaker 06 I thought just eating was a mukbang. Is it a certain amount?
36:49 Speaker 04 Well, aren't they, all the like trendy mukbang videos is like, it's a whole fucking table of food. And then there's like two people and they're like, mukbang.
36:57 Speaker 03 I'm not a hundred percent sure where the concept of, I mean, mukbang is Korean and muk is eat and.
37:03 Speaker 04 Bang is bang?
37:04 Speaker 03 Is room, I think, actually. Um, so it's like eating room or eat room or something. Ah, my fucking phone.
37:15 Speaker 04 Would you like me to do phone things?
37:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, can you look up what the origin of mukbang is?
37:20 Speaker 04 We could transition this to a restaurant.
37:25 Speaker 03 Didn't work, guys. It didn't work.
37:26 Speaker 06 Excuse me, can we have these six tables so we can set up our filming?
37:30 Speaker 03 Hey, no, people film at restaurants all the time.
37:33 Speaker 04 Muk nyon.
37:33 Speaker 06 That's true.
37:34 Speaker 04 Is eating?
37:35 Speaker 06 Yeah, I don't wanna be that.
37:36 Speaker 04 Muk nyon is eating and, oh. Yeah, I shouldn't try that.
37:40 Speaker 03 When a girk is next to you and it becomes a mohn, mohnin.
37:44 Speaker 04 And then bang song is broadcast, is what this says.
37:48 Speaker 03 That would make more sense, yeah. Mukbang.
37:51 Speaker 06 Broadcast filming or eating.
37:53 Speaker 04 The, the ones I've seen, cause I'm not into mukbang stuff, is, is way more food than those people eat. They, they just throw a bunch of it away, like guaranteed.
38:01 Speaker 06 I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna waste food.
38:02 Speaker 04 But we would eat. I'm just saying, we would do it well. But you were gonna say something about it.
38:05 Speaker 03 I was gonna say, there's multiple types of eating videos. There's challenge videos where people eat a record amount or try to eat a record amount.
38:13 Speaker 06 I need to lose weight, man. I need to do the opposite.
38:15 Speaker 03 Well, actually, these people are incredibly skinny most of the time.
38:18 Speaker 06 Bastards. Or good for them, I mean.
38:20 Speaker 03 You don't have to always be so mean.
38:23 Speaker 06 Oh, fuck, I'll get them. We'll get them. Who are they? Let's do an episode where we insult them for being skinny.
38:30 Speaker 03 We're gonna skinny shame you assholes.
38:32 Speaker 06 I'll show you.
38:33 Speaker 03 All right, uh, but mukbang is, is just, just eating a lot.
38:37 Speaker 06 I don't wanna eat a lot. I just wanna eat some.
38:39 Speaker 03 You always wanna eat a lot.
38:41 Speaker 06 No, I've been cutting back. I've, I've been cutting back. I've been trying to eat less. My window for eating is like noon to eight. No, noon to 10.
38:48 Speaker 03 Intermittent fasting.
38:49 Speaker 06 Kind of, but more so because I get belly button acid reflux if I eat after like eight or, I, I wanna get to eight eventually. Right now, I'm stopping at 10.
38:55 Speaker 04 Non-consensual intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting? That's the coolest kind.
38:59 Speaker 06 Yeah. Well, it's better for, one, it gives me, keeps you from snacking late at night, and two, it makes me feel better when I lay down. So, it just seemed like the right combo. And it's like, if I try to get a lot of eating done in the middle, it's like, okay, I'll eat lunch, I'll eat dinner, and that'll be good for me.
39:13 Speaker 03 I think we've officially run out of conversation topics. So, thank you, everybody, so much for being a part of this podcast experience. Um, be sure to follow it, or we'll kill you. Uh, have a good day. Podcast out.
39:36 Speaker 00 Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance loathe. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.
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Previous Shame, Shame, Shame Next Wade Has An Interest Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated