Let's Get Deep

Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple. Like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive. Or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting and completely delicious. Simply. Say yes to simple.

• 1:00Speaker 02

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• 1:31Speaker 03

  This episode of Distractible is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay. How do you guys know when someone's really your friend? I don't know.

• 1:42Speaker 04

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• 2:02Speaker 03

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• 2:15Speaker 05

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Brest Bob decries the manly lead of Mark and gets the guys to truly penetrate. Markovian Mark recalls sanitized flappers, but wails about Windows weirdness, gaya bongs, and herm genitals. Warlock Wade threatens soul harvesting, starts spurts, and states sunscreen suffering, ginger dead, and deliveries. From baldness to coin coincidences. Ya ha ha ha ha. It's time for Let's Get Deep.

• 2:56Speaker 05

  Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 3:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, you never knew anything weird when we're recording.

• 3:13Speaker 06

  No.

• 3:14Speaker 04

  We want to freak the editors out.

• 3:16Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  Fucking got them. Fucking got them. Fucking got them.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  I'll do it again. My whole episode is just, let's make fun of Wade. Ready, go.

• 3:25Speaker 06

  Hit me. Hit me.

• 3:26Speaker 04

  Hair.

• 3:27Speaker 06

  Oh, that's too hard. It'd be less.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  Unopened boxes.

• 3:33Speaker 06

  Oh, not true. It's, oh, yes, it is. It's a little true.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Sewage. Anyway.

• 3:39Speaker 06

  I hope not, man. I'm not looked at a day.

• 3:41Speaker 04

  Oh, it's gonna happen.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Oh, it's already happening.

• 3:44Speaker 06

  Like the FNAF, I gotta peek out of my door every now and then to keep the turds from coming in.

• 3:49Speaker 04

  Is that in the most recent one? I don't remember the turds monster.

• 3:53Speaker 06

  Stupid poo Bonnie.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  Who?

• 3:58Speaker 06

  The shit versions of all the FNAF characters.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  You got balloon boy, shit boy, diarrhea boy, piss boy. He's just a puddle.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  You guys remember that mobile version of FNAF, like FNAF augmented reality?

• 4:12Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Where you hold your phone up. I did a video on it.

• 4:15Speaker 06

  Oh, God, I never messed with it, but yeah.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  I didn't play it, but I remember it.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  They had a bunch of variants of the animatronics that were not canon at all. Like they had an ice version of something, and I'm pretty sure shit Bonnie was in there.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  Was it like Farmed Out or something? Or we did?

• 4:35Speaker 03

  I don't know, you know?

• 4:36Speaker 04

  That's weird, cuz he's so, he's so dedicated to developing the canon and the lore and everything. That's like.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  I, I could not tell ya.

• 4:47Speaker 04

  I mean, not that it's all super cohesive all the time, but.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  But there were so many.

• 4:51Speaker 04

  That's weird.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, they had the normals and then, yeah, they had like Freddie Frost Bear, which was a Christmas special. They had Shamrock Freddy, which just is a horrible green, but Irish, I guess. High Score Toy Chica, Easter Bonnie? Oh my god, he looks horrifying. Ooh, Liberty Chica for 4th of July. They had Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Oh god, Katrina Toy Chica? Which is, looks like Day of the Dead, I think. Woodland Toy Freddy, which is just made of wood. Boulder Toy Bonnie.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Just a rock?

• 5:34Speaker 03

  Just a fucking rock texture. Just a rock. Swamp Balloon Boy, which actually is terrible. Black Iced Frost Bear, Arctic Ballora, Frostbite Balloon Boy, Frost Plush Trap, Black Heart Bonnie? What?

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Pirate?

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Fucking Serpent Mangle? The Curse? Who's the Curse? What the? Oh, there it is, I knew it. Wait, I knew it. Hold on, guys, I'm gonna share my screen right now and you're not gonna believe me, even if you see it. Get ready. Hold on, get to those toilets, everybody. You're about to join.

• 6:10Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  The ranks of.

• 6:13Speaker 04

  Are we, are we live? Is this, does this go? This is recorded, yeah, this is in here. Fenafalin99 Cold Open? Poop Bonnie. Oh god. Yeah.

• 6:24Speaker 04

  I told you, I told you.

• 6:28Speaker 06

  I literally think I had a plumber help me remove that.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  That's just poop bunny. That's poop bunny. Yep.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  It's actually melted chocolate bunny, but let's be real.

• 6:37Speaker 06

  That's poop, yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  That's poop bunny.

• 6:40Speaker 06

  Doesn't your poop look like that little pink nose and everything?

• 6:42Speaker 03

  When I made a cake with Rosanna Pansino, I made melted Freddy and drippy. I call them drippy. Um, this is poop. So I wasted a lot of time getting that.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  No, that's a really good cold open.

• 6:55Speaker 06

  No, I enjoyed it.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Little red chica.

• 7:01Speaker 06

  What the fuck are these things? Go ahead.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  Hello and welcome back to your favorite Five Nights at Freddy's lore podcast. Uh, yeah, that's right. This is Distractible and I am your host because probably I won the last one, but I'm never a hundred percent sure because I've been down this road before. My name is Bob. I'm joined as always by my two competitors for today, Mark and Wade.

• 7:26Speaker 06

  Hey.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  I'm Mark.

• 7:28Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought you were just gonna leave the listeners out. Mark was waving. He waved first to the viewers and then decided to speak for you peasant listeners out there.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  Well, I'm so glad this is gonna be the first listener only episode.

• 7:42Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Bob's episode he's got in plan is so listener focused, I guarantee you're not gonna be mad anymore.

• 7:49Speaker 06

  Wait, didn't we already showed him?

• 7:55Speaker 03

  I'm not hosting.

• 8:00Speaker 06

  That lasted long.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  Right. If you've never seen this show before, or if you're, I don't know, just a listener and you're too stupid to know anything, Mark and Wade are competing to see who gets to host the next one. That's the whole format. One of them's gonna win and they host the next one. That's why it keeps going forever. And someday all three of us will tie and we will all three have to host the final episode of Distractible and that's how it will end. Probably. I'm pretty sure that's in the constitution and if it's not, it doesn't really matter because we don't follow that thing anyway. Before we get into the game that I have planned today that everyone's gonna love universally, uh, how are you guys doing? How's your small? How's your talk? Small?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  I have so many things to contribute to this moment. I don't know what to start with.

• 8:46Speaker 04

  I feel bad for Wade already.

• 8:47Speaker 06

  Yes. Oh, man. Sorry, Wade. Guess I'll take the start then, since you don't know. Hesitators, chesitators, as they say. Hey, come on. Don't make fun of my chesitates. Oh, I'm gonna call it your chesitates.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  Oh, make sure you bleep chesitators. We can't have that in our show.

• 9:06Speaker 06

  I have a medical condition.

• 9:10Speaker 06

  I have decided, you all better hope I don't host for a while because next time I host, I'm conducting a ritual to sacrifice every listener and viewer's soul that watches this in hopes that some crossroad demon or devil will give the Bengals a defense because my God, do I not have any hope after watching the preseason games? It's been painful and sad and terrible.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  That is the most useless sacrifice that will have ever been made, but I appreciate your optimism.

• 9:38Speaker 06

  I'll do it anyway. Even if you're not a fan, if you're a fan of another team, you're like, well, I don't like that too. It doesn't matter. Your soul is mine.

• 9:45Speaker 04

  Some K-pop demon on our shit right there.

• 9:47Speaker 06

  Not seen it. I've heard good things from you two and others.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  It's pretty good. Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 06

  It's pretty good. Yeah. I threw football for an hour and a half yesterday and my back and like arms are very sore today. I've been, I've been doing a little bit more of the sports lately. I've been doing more exercising.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  We're doing a lot of athlete shit every time we hang out.

• 10:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, I, it's not changing anything. I'm assuming I'm losing tons of fat and building tons of muscle, which is why the weight hasn't changed much. But man, oh, man, am I doing the sports? And I made a horrible mistake. It wasn't called this whenever we did it in school, but I think it's called running lines now, like on a basketball court where you go like baseline, free throw line.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Suicides?

• 10:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's what we called it.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, right.

• 10:25Speaker 06

  I think it's called running lines now or something. They changed it.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  Why? Why'd they change the name?

• 10:30Speaker 06

  I don't know. Something about it.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  You know what? That does make sense. Now that I hear it out loud, that's interesting that they changed that. That makes a lot of sense.

• 10:37Speaker 06

  Yeah, I remember the old name. I was just avoiding it, but thank you for saying it.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  No, it didn't occur to me. Honestly.

• 10:44Speaker 06

  We don't get demonetized.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  As soon as I said it, my brain was like. What the hell? What would be called that? Oh, I get that.

• 10:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, it was called that. I decided to do that anyway on the driveway. I was like, you know what? I should run lines. I should just go and it's only been 20 years. I'm sure it can't be that bad. I'm remembering them poorly. They deserve better than my memory was.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  You did this for fun? This was like a punishment in the sports that I participated in.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  Well, I knew that it was effective in making me feel like crap and probably getting into shape. So I decided to run some lines. I did three sets and then I went and panted for about five minutes.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  Five minutes is pretty good, honestly.

• 11:21Speaker 06

  Well, then my nephew arrived and I had to like play it cool like I wasn't dying. So I was like, oh, hey, welcome. Yeah, we're gonna play some ball.

• 11:30Speaker 04

  Play some blow.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Cause I wanna play some blow.

• 11:34Speaker 06

  And on the inside, I was like,

• 11:38Speaker 06

  this blow. Uh, I'm tired again just thinking about it. Those aren't fun. And when I was able to like dunk a ball back in the day, the way I think I got there was like, I would stand and like jump, tap the backboard, jump, tap the backboard. I would do that with like my left arm, do it with my right arm. And I would just kind of do like sets of jumps. I was like, you know, let me do some of those afterward, too. That'll help.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  Dude, jumping is hard.

• 12:01Speaker 06

  I'm not in good shape and I wear out very quick. So it's gonna take some building up.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  We're getting older, man.

• 12:07Speaker 06

  I see why athletes retire at our age rather than start at our age. But I've been doing stuff and I hurt and I'm sore and I want my mommy.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  Good stuff. Good stuff, bud.

• 12:17Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  Anyway, time for the good small talk. Mark, hit me.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Right. Absolutely. Sorry. I just felt sick there for a second. I was just like,

• 12:25Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm hosting. I should be. Man, I definitely wrote out lots of points for you during that. Wait, don't worry about it.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Let me just get this book back out from all the writing I did for Wade. I was like, that must be enough points. And then I put it away. Go ahead, Mark.

• 12:42Speaker 06

  Is it too early? Is it too early?

• 12:44Speaker 03

  I actually started feeling sick during that for some reason. I was like, oh my-

• 12:47Speaker 06

  Man, guys, come on!

• 12:49Speaker 03

  I'm gonna throw up right here on the podcast.

• 12:52Speaker 06

  My small talk makes you sick? I don't get any points? I really feel like this coin- No, it's because the only thing I ate today for breakfast was a handful of Altoids and half a can of Diet Dr. Pepper.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  That's not, that's not food. Those are what you call snacks.

• 13:10Speaker 06

  I think that might be the, yeah, that might be the, the feel terrible combo. It's like Coke and Mentos.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  What is Henry barking at? Oh, this is too much for me. I, oh, can't handle this.

• 13:23Speaker 06

  I had my, my soda and Altoids, the dog's barking, Wade talks. It's a terrible day.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Hmm? Yes. What was it?

• 13:31Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  What is he barking at? All right, hold on. I gotta check on this, actually.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Amy's not home. Probably a bear or something.

• 13:38Speaker 06

  Oh, handshakes, handshakes. Can you handshake the host?

• 13:41Speaker 04

  We could make a handshake.

• 13:43Speaker 06

  What was our last handshake? I've forgotten what we agreed.

• 13:45Speaker 04

  That at some point, we could just declare Mark the winner of an episode, I think was our last handshake. Jokingly, because we were gonna punish him because he's been busy. We're like, ha, host again, ha.

• 13:56Speaker 06

  I don't know if I have an idea ready, so I might just use that, like, at the end of this one. I'm making a lot of assumptions about me winning, but-

• 14:03Speaker 04

  We're gonna forget about it if we don't use it soon, so.

• 14:06Speaker 06

  Yeah, I know. The subreddit will spoil it, because they're like, oh, remember those five points that Wade still has? They're gonna spoil it soon. I don't have any other ideas for handshakes.

• 14:14Speaker 04

  Nah, we can just let it go. You don't have to always do handshakes.

• 14:17Speaker 06

  That's true, but we should always imply that we did, because it makes Mark really paranoid, and I find that hilarious.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  I feel like at this point, he's just so over it. He's, ah, fuck, good. Do some handshakes. Good.

• 14:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, he might. We gotta really enact one.

• 14:32Speaker 04

  I think the biggest thing is Mark's definitely winning the season. Like, it's not even close. And I don't want to just make a handshake where it's like, oh, we take wins away from Mark or some- But like, we should work together a little bit more, I think, to, to cut into his lead. Not sure how to do that.

• 14:46Speaker 06

  I don't even know when the season ends. I thought we just started one. Did we just end one? Did we not? When?

• 14:51Speaker 04

  I, look.

• 14:53Speaker 06

  What is a season?

• 14:54Speaker 04

  We have very strict and complex rules that we adhere to. So, obviously, I know when the season starts and ends.

• 15:00Speaker 06

  One of us should host and declare it the season finale, and we award wins instead of points.

• 15:06Speaker 04

  I mean, I don't think the seasons are defined in constitution or anything. I think we've pretty much been doing that on the fly, so.

• 15:13Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Pool guy.

• 15:15Speaker 06

  I'm just saying, if we manage to pull that off. Oh, hey, man, welcome back.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Someone came to.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  We weren't even pretending like we did something. He just said, hey, welcome back.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  What are you? You're not gonna pull anything off of me?

• 15:28Speaker 06

  It's a bit toasty in Ohio. Like, what if you're wearing pants or a jacket?

• 15:32Speaker 03

  No, no, no, not gonna pull off on me.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  Actually, my boxer's two sizes too small, and we were talking about if I was gonna be able to get out of them or not.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Oh, I see, I see.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  What if I pull that off?

• 15:43Speaker 03

  Right, right, right. Alright, so, where was I?

• 15:47Speaker 06

  You were having a breakdown.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  I was. I was feeling sick, thank you very much, because I ate terribly.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  You ate half your Dr. Pepper and breath mints.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 15:58Speaker 06

  Like a cereal? Just like pour it in a bowl?

• 16:00Speaker 03

  The Altoids?

• 16:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, pour some Dr. Pepper on there and get.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  Little cinnamon Altoids, Dr. Pepper slushy?

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Uh, I don't think so, but, uh, man.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  You okay?

• 16:12Speaker 03

  I wanted to eat more Altoids.

• 16:15Speaker 06

  I gotta take them away.

• 16:17Speaker 07

  I'm gonna put them over here.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Where was it?

• 16:21Speaker 03

  So, this is a terrible small talk. I have such good small talk, but my performance in the round is actually pretty bad. I, I admit that. I understand that. But, this weekend was a very productive weekend, in the past week, because we're building a sound mixing theater. And that sounds crazy, but actually, it's not that bad. Minus a few caveats. So, we open up the walls, we put the, the rock wool in there, which is like sound, uh, sound insulation. It's like literally made of rocks. They melt it into lava, and they blow it through a cotton candy machine, and then they turn it into string.

• 16:54Speaker 04

  It's pretty cool.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's legitimately how it's made, and, uh, the.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Henry keeps barking. Can you hear that?

• 17:02Speaker 04

  We can't hear him if it makes you feel any better.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  Okay, good. All right, that's good. That's good. Uh, so we put that in the walls. It's been a while since I've done like home renovation stuff like that or like worked on that, but it was nice to, to put the, Jason and, and JR put the plaster up or the pieces of, it wasn't drywall, it was like plaster or something, but then putty and sand and stuff. But the actual speakers itself went up pretty nicely, mounted on the walls, connected them all, uh, put them up to the, the sound mixer thing. And then it had to, it all came to a stop with Dolby Atmos, trying to figure out how that fucking thing works. So I don't know if you knew this, but in Windows latest update, they removed the Dolby Atmos codex.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  What?

• 17:46Speaker 03

  In just, I, look, I don't know.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  That's commonly used.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  It's basically the standard, but. So was Wordpad. Yeah, actually.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  All right, everyone's sad about your D and D stuff. Calm down.

• 18:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, so they, they had it in Windows 10, they had it in early Windows 11, and then in the latest update, they were like, yeah, we're not including this anymore. Go fuck yourselves, everybody. And that's it, basically. It's, it's just not there. So we had a hell of a time trying to get anything tested because we, okay, we got the 7.1.4 speakers. We need a 7.1.4 video file or test file, and we found one, we tried to play it, but then our speakers weren't right, so we had to download Dolby Access, which is a program only on the Microsoft Store. But even that doesn't get you what you need for your theater setup because Windows doesn't have the frickin'. So why is it sold on the Microsoft Store if Windows doesn't have the codex in order to do that?

• 18:44Speaker 03

  So we couldn't even test anything. And this is blows my mind because the adage is like, if you want to do creative stuff, you go over to Mac, right? The creatives usually work on Mac because most of the stuff just works there. I think that's even was their slogan a while. And, but it's true. It's true for this because not only do they include the Dolby codex, but when you're mixing Dolby Atmos on Mac, they have an internal. Thing called like Dolby Audio Bridge that is put there to internally route everything. So you can mix Dolby Atmos stuff on the same computer. If you do it Windows, you have to, like a streamer, have two computers. What? You have two computers. I don't know. It doesn't make any sense.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  I don't know. That's what they say in the documentation. Anyway, it's just, it's absurd to me that it's that level of stupid. Because Microsoft is a small company and can't possibly figure out how to make these things work. They're too busy trying to get Copilot to study all of your desktop movements. And it's just like, it just was nearly impossible to set up until I realized that the actual interface that I bought with the package, which was like a $2,000 interface. The whole package was a good deal, but still like, these are expensive. Can internally reroute it back into it and then back to the same computer. So it functions as like the second computer. That's why it was so expensive.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  Uh, so you put the audio in there through these weird connectors called DB25 connectors, which like splits out to eight XLRs and they go into there and that goes into your computer. And then you get Dolby, you buy Dolby Atmos renderer for $299. And then you put it on your computer and then you set up your speakers. It goes out to that, into that, back into your, your DaVinci Resolve, which in the settings you have, it's in the settings of DaVinci when it has it. It has an IP address that you're supposed to put in for the second computer for Dolby Atmos to work. Ah. I know, right? So you have to set that to your, your computer's local domain name for your network. So it can go back, go out to the network and back to it again. It's so stupid. Yikes.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  James Cameron, I know you're watching and you can relate to this. Tell us if that's what you do.

• 21:00Speaker 03

  I don't know. I, I give up. I'm never making a movie or sound. What you just said confused me so bad. I'm, I'm lost.

• 21:07Speaker 04

  You're making sound right now.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  You're, you're making sound. No, it confused me too, because you would think that it would just be you plug it in and you set up the, maybe you set up like that speaker's the front, that speaker's the left and right. You can't even do that. You have to know the number, number one, you have to know what speaker number one is, which is fine. I get that. But why can't you customize that? Why can't you change that? It's, it's really interesting.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  I mean, I've always wondered how they set it up to where like you have, you know, I don't know how many speakers are in a theater like.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  Oh, they can have, they have tons. Eighteen, twenty, thirty, depends.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. It scales. And each one can have like a different thing coming through. It's, I've always wondered how they program that, but my God. That's what Dolby Atmos is trying to do. I'm not saying Dolby's a great company. I don't know. But Dolby Atmos tries to do that because in my seven point one point four mix, I can mix in Dolby Atmos and place them in the space wherever. And the renderer will map out where that sound exists in accordance with the speaker setup you have. So that's why it's so specific to the numbers, because that'll scale up. So it can scale up to like a hundred and twenty eight speakers, I think.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  And then it will know where the sound is and it will automatically map to those speakers. So in a sense, it makes it easier. So you don't have to make a separate mix for every possible theater speaker setup.

• 22:32Speaker 04

  That's fair.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  Which is what they used to do and probably still do outside of Atmos. But still, it's just like, man, Windows, why you gotta make it hard? Why do you have to make it hard?

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Of all the things I assumed you'd have trouble with on that project, that's not one I would have guessed. Especially it, it did exist right up until sometime fairly immediately before you needed to use it.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. I swear last week, Windows forced an update.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  Like if Windows never had Atmos, it'd be like, that's stupid, but all right. But they had it. They just did. They were just finally just now like, ah, never mind.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Legitimately, yeah. You know what? Maybe they're making a rival movie and they're trying to stop Mark from succeeding.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Yeah. Everything is just targeting Mark's creative endeavors. Nobody wants this movie to see the light of day.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  They're like, you'll never compete with copper bladder. Copper bladder.

• 23:26Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's right.

• 23:27Speaker 04

  Magnesium soft palate will succeed.

• 23:30Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 23:31Speaker 04

  Wade, why did you raise your hand in our recording software?

• 23:35Speaker 06

  I forgot part of my small talk.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  I don't know if Mark was done, but let's cut him off. Wade, what did you forget?

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 23:41Speaker 06

  Bald, I put on sunscreen and man, I don't know, something happened where the sunscreen and my sweat. I don't have hair. There was no absorption. So it all just ran and dripped and got in my eyes. And my eyes were blood red all evening last night. So now I understand why bald wear headbands. Sweat has to go somewhere.

• 24:04Speaker 04

  You never learned that lesson? When you had hairs, did you just put sunscreen on your forehead like an animal?

• 24:09Speaker 06

  Well, like for swimming and stuff, I put sunscreen on my face.

• 24:13Speaker 04

  But on your forehead and it never ran into your eyes? Cause I get that all every time. That's why you should wear hats.

• 24:19Speaker 06

  No, no, not like, for some reason yesterday was a whole new level of drippy, clumpy sunscreen.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  All right.

• 24:27Speaker 06

  And I realized that because my eyes were really gunky today. And I was like, man, why are my eyes so gunky? And it's probably because they were rejecting everything that got in them yesterday. So bald, headband. I get it. Now back to your regularly scheduled Mark computer issues.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  That was it for the computer issues. We got it working eventually. And we were testing out some audio.

• 24:46Speaker 06

  That's amazing.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  And it sounded really good.

• 24:50Speaker 06

  That's good.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  The walls were untreated. We didn't even have like soundproofing on the walls. It was super echoey, but I was shocked. Like this is an entry level package. All in all, if you already had a computer, you could set up Adobe Atmos mixing area. If you had a computer and a monitor, let's consider that. The whole package, you'd think it would be like tens of thousands and probably like people would quote that was on Sweetwater. Sweetwater, whatever, on whatever your favorite audio product shopping location is. Pay me money. Pay us money. Does that make you feel better, Wade? Pay us money.

• 25:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Uh, it was, it was total $5,500 for the entire package, everything we needed.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  That's way less than I would guess for anything remotely filmmaking related. That's, that's pretty good.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  Right? For a home theater setup, this was what you needed as well. If you wanted to have a full on home theater at most ready setup with like overhead speakers. And let me tell you, like, when it was actually doing the demo, it was going around you. I was like, oh, fuck, I'm in a movie theater. This is exactly what it was like when you're at the beginning of a movie theater. It's like, you're watching it.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  You know, when it's doing all those. It felt like that. I was like, holy shit. This worked. I can't believe it worked. Holy hell. And obviously we, it costs money because we bought the insulation that goes in the walls and XLR cables. Those are not always as cheap as you think they are. For good ones, you know, you gotta get like the gold plated nonsense and really high quality cables means, you know, less noise on the transmission, but that might be a few extra hundred dollars into the project. And then the time it takes to set it all up, but it was really cool. I was really happy with it. I was, and honestly, like, we actually fell back from Windows to Sam's like M1 MacBook. It was all running off of his MacBook.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  The first generation M1 MacBook. So it was, it was really cool. I'm, I'm very pleased with that.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  That's fun.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  I'm glad it worked. I'm shocked with how, what you were describing. I don't know that I would have ever gotten it to work. It was a pain in the ass. It was really stupid. Apparently they left it up to like computer manufacturers to put the Dolby codex in there. For those that don't know, codec is just the language interpretation for a certain file format. Right? So like most video formats, there's a codec to it. Like MP4, it's just like how that is packaged. So you can interpret how something packaged. So Dolby Atmos packages its data in a certain way and it's how they interpret it. I wonder why Windows got rid of that. That of all things feels like something that they would keep.

• 27:25Speaker 04

  Is it a licensing fee thing? Like they were like, we're not paying them anymore. So we'll just not put it in.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  It has to be. I guarantee you, cause it probably was like a dollar per Windows license or something like that. Or maybe even a few cents and they were like, oh, no, no way. So yeah, that's all I get. I mean, I have many more interesting things.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Wade, did you figure out any other bald things you want to talk about?

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Boy, no.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  All right.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive, or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting, and completely delicious. Simply, say yes to simple.

• 29:00Speaker 06

  This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah, we all need that sometimes, and Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered, it's showing up no matter what.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Dude, them or the FBI, I'm not 100% sure.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 29:23Speaker 06

  When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up. Or there's a will, we're on our way. Uber, on our way. Download the app today.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Well, shall we move on to my game? I mean, my topic?

• 29:38Speaker 03

  The greatest listener game that anyone's ever listened to?

• 29:41Speaker 04

  Guys, we're doing a new tier list. Everyone always loves tier.

• 29:44Speaker 06

  Yes. Oh, we haven't in a while.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  No.

• 29:48Speaker 06

  Are we not? Wait, is that a joke? God, I was actually excited. Well, come on, man.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  You were excited for a tier list?

• 29:54Speaker 06

  I was excited, yeah! Shit Bonnie's S tier, shit Bonnie's S tier. I enjoy tier lists.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  I like tier lists.

• 30:01Speaker 06

  Just our stupid audience doesn't like it, you know?

• 30:03Speaker 04

  I will say.

• 30:04Speaker 06

  I said it.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  Tier lists and the subreddit are written down on my notes for this episode idea, but we'll get to those.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 30:13Speaker 06

  Stupid, smelly, on my side audience.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, wait, wait, wait. That's why they're on my side. They don't know any better. Ah, I see, I see. Right, okay.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  This game is called Let's Get Deep. And that's right, Wade. I'm stealing your philosophy. I know philosophy has exclusively been your purview on this show.

• 30:36Speaker 06

  Oh, I thought you were stealing my pickup lines. That didn't work. Philosophy's better.

• 30:40Speaker 04

  Is that a pickup line you've tried before? Let's get deep?

• 30:43Speaker 06

  Never works.

• 30:44Speaker 04

  What's the best case scenario with that?

• 30:46Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Got it. Okay.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  Yes? Wow.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I could see why it doesn't work then. Anyway, the premise is simple. I put all the work on your guys' plates and I'll just sit here and laugh at it. I'm gonna say, let's get deep about blank. And I have a whole list of things. And then I want you guys to give me your best, deep, philosophical take about whatever thing that I've given you. These might all be things that we've talked about on previous episodes. They might be topics that I'm literally just stealing from episodes we've done. So you might, hopefully you'll have thoughts about them. Maybe you'll have references. Maybe it will be awful. I'm just interested to see how deep you guys are. And it's allowed to be like the kind of deep that you get when you're drunk, sitting on the floor of your friend's apartment at three in the morning and.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Okay, so is this supposed to replicate that meme with Jesse and Walter White where Jesse's like, you know, you know, showers aren't a thing. And Walter was like, what are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about, Jesse? You know, you know, that meme? You know the meme?

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Kind of, yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 06

  No.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  Come on, come on, guys, please, memes.

• 31:51Speaker 04

  No, I know the meme. It's kind of supposed to replicate that, yeah.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Okay, all right, okay.

• 31:56Speaker 06

  So we're the showers, guys?

• 31:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:58Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 31:59Speaker 04

  You guys take showers.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  No, the shower was an example. It was a bad example. I can pull it. Wait, no, I'll pull up the meme. Jesse Walter meme.

• 32:10Speaker 06

  Make sure to show it to our listeners.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  No, I'm gonna read it out loud for them.

• 32:14Speaker 06

  Oh, good boy.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Okay, I got it. First one that came up. Yo, Mr. White, this scene isn't actually like this. God fucking damn it. What do you mean? It's an anti-meme. Fuck me. Like in the actual show, the conversation doesn't go this way. You don't actually say, Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about? Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about? Okay, hold on.

• 32:33Speaker 07

  Hold on.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  No, I'm there with you. I can see it.

• 32:37Speaker 07

  Nothing's better than reading memes aloud for people at home.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  This is how memes were meant to be consumed.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  At least you're reading them in different voices, so we know which character's which.

• 32:46Speaker 07

  Okay, here we go. Yo, Mr. White. Fuck. Do you want to know what I've just realized? What is it now, Jesse? Okay, so we've been sitting here for weeks discussing weird D and D concepts, but we've been in this diner for a while now, and I'm getting mad hungry. Fuck, that's actually a good point, Jesse. Waiter, could we get a pair of coffees? And some blueberry pancakes for table four. Why am I only getting the anti-memes? What the fuck is this?

• 33:18Speaker 07

  What the fuck?

• 33:22Speaker 03

  I'm enjoying this very much. Yo, could we get a pair of coffees?

• 33:28Speaker 07

  Yo, Mr. White, a year should have 13 months. What? I literally can't read the rest because it's fucking two pixel JPG and there's too much text.

• 33:41Speaker 07

  I'm not lying. It's a fucking, this is all that's coming up.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Oh, listeners, you guys getting this?

• 33:48Speaker 07

  I'll show you this one.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  Guys, I have a new idea for today's episode. I want you guys to just find the best memes you can and read them and describe them for the listeners.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  I need to show you this because it is just, it's so fucking, this is how big it was.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Can't read.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  If we had 10, 13 months instead of 12, every month would be

• 34:17Speaker 04

  30 days, exactly 30 days.

• 34:19Speaker 07

  No, 28 days.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. That in first would always.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  Be a Monday and the would be a Sunday.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  Some of them, is that true? Wait, is that actually true?

• 34:37Speaker 04

  I have no idea if that's true.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  I don't even know what you said.

• 34:41Speaker 04

  The first of the month would always be a Monday and the 28th, the last day of the month would always be a Sunday.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Wait, 28 times 13. Oh, interesting.

• 34:50Speaker 04

  That's how math works, right?

• 34:51Speaker 03

  Well, that's because seven times, yeah, seven days.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  It's 28 divides by seven, so that would be.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  So 28 times 13 would be 364 days, right?

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  And I think I've heard of this before where they make New Year's Day its own separate day.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  Oh, it doesn't have a month. It's just a day?

• 35:10Speaker 03

  It doesn't have a month. It doesn't have a day of the week. It is just New Year's Day.

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  I've heard of this, this idea and I'm like, hey, actually that's not a bad idea. And then Leap Day comes along as like the antithesis for New Year's Day and it's some weird nebulous day.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  If New Year's Day is just a day, it can be however long we want. Maybe New Year's Day is 24 hours and 18 seconds long. And so you just absorb Leap Day into New Year's Day for the time recalibration there.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  All right, I'm gonna go deep on this.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  I know this isn't.

• 35:45Speaker 04

  No, I like, this is exactly basically what I meant, probably.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  Here's the thing. People need to understand that days, months, we made them up.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  No.

• 35:56Speaker 03

  There's no law that says things need to be divided by months, days, even minutes or seconds. That's just something we all agreed on as a level of time. You remove all that and most people would fall apart because they can't have, they need the structure. And if you pull away the structure beneath their feet, they would collapse into a puddle. We could have 13, 28 day months. Everything could start on Monday. We could have 18 day weeks and that would be the normal.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  28, 13 day months.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  That also is a possibility. That would be fun.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  That'd be interesting.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  That would be interesting. Yeah. And it's like, all of it doesn't even really coincide with the seasons that are natural anyway. But the seasons aren't even the same for everybody. Australia's seasons are upside down. Snow goes up. It's fucking weird.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  That's true. Whenever they open their freezers, they gotta be real careful. They're seeing if they're getting covered in snow. That's true. And their clocks spin in the opposite direction.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  Hmm, that's true. It's true. Yeah, actually.

• 36:53Speaker 06

  And that's why they don't say Ronwa. They say Allnar.

• 36:55Speaker 03

  Poop comes out their mouth.

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Ronwa, indeed.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Do I get a point?

• 37:01Speaker 04

  What does Ronwa mean? Oh, yeah, you got points for that.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Okay, cool.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  There are points in there.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, what does Ronwa mean?

• 37:07Speaker 06

  Allnar, but American.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  Rnar? Ronwa?

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Is that the Australian shining?

• 37:13Speaker 04

  Ronwa! Ronwa!

• 37:18Speaker 06

  I guess it'd be Ronwar.

• 37:20Speaker 04

  That would be Ro-nar!

• 37:22Speaker 06

  I don't know how we're backwards.

• 37:24Speaker 07

  The mother closes the mirror and it just says Rnar.

• 37:32Speaker 06

  Ra, ra, ra. Ronra, no, Ron, Ron, Ron. We need to talk, Ron.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  Damn it, Ron.

• 37:41Speaker 06

  R. Why is R backwards so hard for me?

• 37:44Speaker 04

  I don't know. You made it up. You did the thing. It's your thing. Ronra! Ronra!

• 37:51Speaker 06

  Points?

• 37:53Speaker 04

  I don't know who gets points for any of this, but this is what I was hoping would happen.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  Hmm, good, good.

• 38:00Speaker 06

  I don't know even what did happen. Somehow we got the Jesse Pinkman and now we're in Australia.

• 38:05Speaker 04

  We got there because Mark understood the assignment. And so, anyway, I have a list of things that I want you guys to get deep about. Give me some deepness. Some depth, even. It doesn't have to be like Marianas Trench, but as deep as you dare to go. Let's get deep about, and Wade, you can go first, since Mark's killing it right now.

• 38:23Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  Let's get deep about the Ginger Dead Man.

• 38:29Speaker 06

  Alright. The Ginger Dead Man has come up recently again. The Ginger Dead Man.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  I just brought him up.

• 38:35Speaker 06

  Even before this, it came over like on stream for me the other day. I don't know why. The Ginger Dead Man has stuck around and become such a thing. And its origins, relatively simple. It's just a holiday horror monster guy that, to me, wasn't that great. He was a little bit divisive and definitely derisive. And yet, there's something just fun about the. Pun. I feel like if we're gonna talk about why the ginger dead man is stuck around, it's because ginger bread, ginger dead. The bread dead pun is just, it's golden, you know, it's a golden pun. Whenever one of us comes up with a pun, we're like, oh, we gotta share our pun. And then we hate everyone else's pun.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:14Speaker 06

  But ginger dead, for whatever reason, is a pun we all accept, is a good one. And therefore, we overlook the kind of shittiness that is the ginger dead man movie because we're like ginger dead man. What a fun thing to say. Dead, bread, got it.

• 39:29Speaker 04

  I see what you're getting at.

• 39:30Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  It is a good pun. You're right. Was that your point?

• 39:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, I was, I figured we were starting a conversation. I didn't want to hijack the whole thing. I'm supposed to hijack the whole thing.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  You can hijack it. I mean, you're, you're trying to beat each other. So you, you don't have to set Mark up, but I feel like you offered him an entree. Mark, give me something deep about the ginger dead man.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  If baked goods can come to life by putting them in an oven, then is cremation a form of necromancy? Where is the life coming from in this fire, right? Cause you've got the ginger dead man, which suggests that any baked good could become thing. I mean, in the world of ginger dead man, you've got living bongs. I'm not gonna go there, but you could go into there. I'm gonna go in there. We're going in there. Glass blowing is another form of heat creating life.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  With this living bong, right?

• 40:22Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 40:22Speaker 03

  So in this universe, heat makes life, right? Yeah?

• 40:27Speaker 04

  That's the rule with that we just established.

• 40:30Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  So then, what this suggests is that heat is the source of life. This is the most true form of Gaia, the living earth, right? Cause Gaia at its core is nothing but molten heat. Therefore, in the ginger dead man universe, which ginger bread is basically just bread.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  With ginger in it.

• 40:51Speaker 06

  What is gingerbread made of?

• 40:53Speaker 04

  It's a cookie.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  You take ginger and bread, right? You bake ginger and wheat. What's wheat from? The earth, right? You grow it out of the earth. Ginger is a root based thing. It's from the earth, right?

• 41:04Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  And then you put heat in it and it makes life. The earth in this universe is alive.

• 41:10Speaker 06

  Okay, can I ask you a question?

• 41:11Speaker 03

  You've, no.

• 41:13Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  All right.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  Go ahead.

• 41:16Speaker 06

  All right, so heat creates life. This is a weird take on this.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:21Speaker 06

  But like during the the normal creation of life process, we call sex.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  Mitosis.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  The powerhouse of the cell, right?

• 41:30Speaker 06

  Yours, that's you can have it, it's fine. If heat is the primary creator of life, then like the sperm and egg don't even matter. So if you just had like more friction, less lube, would you create more life?

• 41:42Speaker 04

  Probably.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Yes. I think so. I believe so.

• 41:46Speaker 06

  Okay, that's it. That was my question.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  All right.

• 41:49Speaker 06

  So the ginger dead man won. He's an ugly son of a bitch. But the baked goods, glass, glass blowing thing. We're defining life as anything that's like, what a a unique created existing thing doesn't have to have any kind of like.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  I think we're defining life as anything that got hot.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  Approximately.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  How alive you are is determined by your hotness. We all know this to be true.

• 42:12Speaker 06

  And that's I'm I'm less alive than I used to be, and I was never very alive then.

• 42:15Speaker 03

  Oh, come on, come on, come on.

• 42:17Speaker 06

  No, it's fine.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Come on, come on.

• 42:19Speaker 06

  I feel like we've really settled it there. I don't know. I don't know what's that ginger dead man. I feel like.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  I have like 20 things we can talk about. This doesn't have to be long. I think we got very deep there. I think we had some deep thoughts. I think that was a nice moment. Mark, you can go first on this one.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  Let's get deep about herms. Guys, remember herms?

• 42:40Speaker 03

  The statue?

• 42:41Speaker 04

  The penis statue. It's your head and it's a penis. And it's in memorial of you after you've died or gotten cold, presumably.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  I think what herms suggest, and it might be true, besides fingerprints, I guess, I'm getting ahead of my own conclusion. You will see where I was going with by saying fingerprints. The only identifying features that separate us from another person next to us is our head and our penis. Or genitals in general. Did they do they? Did they do female herms?

• 43:14Speaker 04

  I actually don't know.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  We should go deeper on that.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  I'm looking, I'm looking.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  But if you think about it, isn't that kind of true? Because the head is not only the face, which is the outward understanding of who we are as a person. And I know some people are like, hey, there are people out there that don't have faces. And I would say, hey, there aren't many people out there that don't have heads. I'm gonna make a bold claim, much like my sleeping claim of like people or laying down claim about how like I challenge anyone who doesn't like laying down, yada, yada. There are many people that don't have a head, right? And so your brain is in there, so that's the inner you. And then the face is there, which is what we most commonly understand as the outer you. And then you have the genitals, which I guess outside of the template of human

• 43:59Speaker 03

  is like, that's, I guess, ours. And it's the way that we blast future us into the universe, right? So if you think about it, Herms is the truest distillation of us, of our identity, besides the fingerprints. You see, you see what I was going for there?

• 44:19Speaker 06

  They didn't know about those back then in ancient days.

• 44:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, they didn't know about DNA or fingerprints or any other biological markers. It was your face, your brain, and your junk.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  Your junk, yeah.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  That's all they had to go with. Apparently there are female Herms. I can't seem to find any examples where the females, like, lower parts are represented in the same way that they just slap dicks onto male Herms. So I'm not sure, I'm not sure.

• 44:43Speaker 06

  It seems like it started with male and then like maybe around the Renaissance or something.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  Someone was like, hey, can you do my wife? And the sculptors were like, yeah, oh.

• 44:54Speaker 04

  How do we chisel? Wait, how do we chisel? Ah, I'm gonna need to see your wife. And the guy was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, just look at her face. Just look at her face, do your best, alright? Oh, whoa, I'm gonna need to see your wife. How does that sound? I didn't think so.

• 45:09Speaker 06

  Boys, I gotta go for a minute.

• 45:12Speaker 04

  No, you have to get deep about Herms.

• 45:13Speaker 06

  Listen, my, my, my fridge water broke. Now's the time, I gotta go.

• 45:18Speaker 04

  Just getting on a roll.

• 45:19Speaker 06

  I know, I know, I'm sorry, but when you gotta go, you gotta go, you know? This fridge delivery, I very explicitly said, please deliver Friday.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  Well, how long could it take to install a fridge, really?

• 45:31Speaker 06

  I might not have to go. They just left it in a cardboard box on the driveway. And they just left.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 45:39Speaker 06

  They literally just left.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  It's delivered, done. Do you want this inside or is this not a driveway fridge? I just looked at the model and I assume driveway fridge.

• 45:51Speaker 06

  But we talk about herms.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Herms, yeah, herms, yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, so herms, um, I think the one thing missing from herms are butt cheeks. I think they should have little butt cheeks on the back as well.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Or big butt cheeks. Some people have big.

• 46:05Speaker 06

  The thought of little tiny ones are funnier to me on the herms.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Only people with small butts can have a herm.

• 46:11Speaker 06

  That might be true.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Because then it's still just the block of marble, flat on the back, so, yeah. That's what mine would look like. Yeah, yeah.

• 46:20Speaker 06

  Maybe the part of the herm that matters isn't the part that's detailed, like, you know, the head and the penis are very detailed, but then there's just smooth stone. And maybe what we should be focusing on is the fact that everyone's got a head that looks different and a unique penis. It's what's in between. That's where the bulk of the creation actually is. Most of the sculpture isn't those two parts. Those two parts had the time spent to detail them out.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  Which is stupid.

• 46:48Speaker 06

  Like, the rest of it is what encompasses the entirety of the herm. Maybe it's because most of things, like the universe, right? Very few parts of the universe either have life compared to its whole. But the whole universe is important, even though we focus on planets and suns, black holes, living things, aliens. But there's so much more that we don't focus on because it just doesn't seem like as much, but it's there.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  I get what you're saying. We can optimize the herm. Why have that in the first place? Bring those junks up, put them right to the neck, save some space. Hey, they make busts. Why not herm busts? Penis. Why not her huss? You know?

• 47:31Speaker 06

  The hust.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, marble can't be cheap, so, you know, you could save a lot. What if, like, someone, you know, didn't really matter as much, but, you know, you want the discount, preserve their memory, let me know who they were, you know?

• 47:46Speaker 06

  Think about for our own selves, if we were able to have some kind of surgery, we just remove the neck, the chest, the bowels. And we just went straight from. Head to penis. Yeah. We would be very optimized. Yeah, yeah, I think so.

• 48:02Speaker 04

  Cut out a lot of waste.

• 48:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 48:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 06

  Our food could go directly into sperm. No in between. It's the only thing you need.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  All right, I think we really dug deep on that one. That's exactly what I knew would happen. Well, I was gonna save this for later, but it seems so pertinent now. Wade, let's get deep about refrigerators.

• 48:23Speaker 06

  Man, I've never really thought too much about refrigerators because in my life, they were the containers of food that needed to be preserved. Ice cream, love ice cream. That's really more of a freezer, but yeah. But like, the fridge itself was always an afterthought. It was just a device, a means to an end. And then we did the episode Bob's Fridge, which we have video of that we will never share. It's very private video that's just for us to enjoy. Do we have video of that?

• 48:49Speaker 04

  I was actually naked because of the rage, so we can't, we can't share that.

• 48:53Speaker 07

  His shoes were long gone.

• 48:55Speaker 06

  Interesting film that's stored forever in the hidden distractible archive. But it got me thinking and I was like, you know, refrigerators exist. They have parts and components. They can break, they can be dented. I think back to the fridge near the pool that we had when I was a kid growing up at the old house that get the Coke cans just cold enough to where they would mostly freeze, but still have a tiny bit of liquid and they tasted so good when they were that ice cold. And you know, you can decorate your fridge with magnets. You hang up like artwork and different things on refrigerators. Refrigerators really hold more of a special beacon in a household that I think we acknowledge on a day to day basis. We think about their function and not necessarily the fact that it's a giant thing

• 49:38Speaker 06

  that sits there that we look at, we open, we use every day. And on top of that, you can put an entire lifetime of photos and things on a refrigerator that you, even if you're not. Looking at it directly, like the photos and things you put on there, like you see them, your periphery, they're there and you're reminded of whatever parts of life you want to remember and think about if you decorate your fridge that way. And a lot of people do. But even the device itself and all of its parts and components are interesting. They're unique, they're changing, you know, if the older refrigerators, newer models, mini fridges, beer fridges, the old fridge you toss in the garage, almost a time machine of, in many ways, because also you have the contents of your fridge. I don't know how often you guys go through and clear out your fridges or refrigerators. I don't know as often as I should.

• 50:22Speaker 06

  Occasionally you'll find a thing in the freezer. It's like, man, even in a freezer, I don't think that's still good, but it's like, you might remember when you bought a certain thing. Like maybe it's a product that's no longer even on the shelves. I think refrigerators are just a good way to think back, to reminisce and remember parts of life, shopping trips, things you eat, don't eat, uh, people that have come and gone in your life. They're a lot more important in a household than just storing items.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  Oh, you're raising your hand. Sorry, I was looking at my handwriting. Uh, Mark, yeah, Mark.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Fridges are the lungs of society, of civilization. Let me explain. If you held your breath long enough, how soon would you die?

• 51:03Speaker 04

  Couple of days.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Wait, no, hold on. Wait, back up. No, talk about lungs, lungs. No, not, you're not holding your fridge.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  I hold my breath. I take it. Uh, I don't use a lot of oxygen. Very efficient. Go on.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  How, wait, what? How long can you hold your breath?

• 51:17Speaker 04

  I mean, I've never tried it. I just assume, you know, solid, solid 50, 55 hours.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  Okay. All right. Anyway, well, okay. Without air, you die quick. Okay. Right?

• 51:29Speaker 06

  Your fridge does?

• 51:30Speaker 04

  He's, he's just getting started.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, get warmed up. They're the lungs of civilization, right? So your lungs take in air, right? Pull in air, you take that in. The oxygen is what you need, right? Without oxygen, you die real quick, right?

• 51:44Speaker 06

  Days, yeah.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  If society collapses, people will realize how much the fridges were the lungs of civilization. Because without fridges.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  We're all dead. And this may sound like a joke, but it's so true. Because if you can't keep food cold, you can't preserve things. Right? You can't, you got canned goods, you can kind of keep those long, but without the fridge to keep your things cold. Cold on demand, it was not a thing people had. Right?

• 52:11Speaker 04

  And none of them survived.

• 52:13Speaker 03

  Cold on demand is what keeps society going. All those fridges in the stores that are keeping, deep coolers, deep refrigerators. If fridges are gone, we're gone. It's not just about memory. It's about life. If they are the lungs. Okay, well, maybe there's a different, they're the heart. No, that would be too quick. I think life started on earth when the first fridge landed. It did. I said civilization and society. Okay, I didn't say humanity. I said of civilization. That's why it was called the icebox age.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  There you go. I'm with you, man.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  But if you see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying?

• 52:53Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Fridges are our weakness. They're the weak link in society. If they're gone. If we run out of Freon, how soon are we ever running out of Freon? Our country is built on Freon.

• 53:07Speaker 03

  Shut up. This is my turn. He's getting all the points. He's stealing all the points.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  There's a limited number of points, just like the Freon. Mums, Freemum, what's the word? Freon.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  What's the catchphrase? Uh, live freon or die hard?

• 53:21Speaker 04

  I'm pretty sure it's live freon and drive cars.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  Aw, man, Freon's being phased out. Aw.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  Aw, man. Haven't you seen what the new administration is doing? We're, we're almost out of Freon already.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  They can take our ovens, but they'll never take our Freon. Ooh, you know what's being replaced by? Puron.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  Oh, man, that doesn't sound good.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  I'm telling you, look, it's, um, well, Freon was, uh, made in first in like the 1930s.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  Blonde particle with blue glow.

• 54:01Speaker 06

  The Pyron.

• 54:05Speaker 03

  You gotta give me some points, man. You gotta give me some points. Save some for me, man. I'm just lobbing him softballs. He's smacking him right out of the park. What the fuck?

• 54:16Speaker 06

  It's not a water particle. It's an A- Arian particle.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Alright, that wasn't that good. That one wasn't that good. Anyway.

• 54:25Speaker 06

  Could have been.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  I'm gonna start taking points away if you cut into Mark's time but mess it up like that.

• 54:30Speaker 06

  Fuck.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  Uh, anyway, so yeah, fridge is lungs. Uh, we die if we don't have, we don't realize how close we are to dying or whatever.

• 54:37Speaker 06

  Coin flip! Saw it. Oh, I saw two. I saw that one as it happened.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  Take a look at two of these.

• 54:44Speaker 06

  Whoa, peace? Are you wanting to... later?

• 54:48Speaker 03

  That's different. That's different.

• 54:50Speaker 06

  Take a look at this.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Nice. That was good deepness. That was very deep. That was deep-tastic.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  Which one's more offensive to you of the middle fingers? Is it this? This?

• 55:02Speaker 06

  This.

• 55:06Speaker 06

  Don't do that. Get that out of here.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  When does it become offensive? Wait.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  Wade put up his ring finger.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  Wait, when are you offended? When are you offended? When are you offended? Let me know. Let me know. Let me know.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  Offended.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Ah, right there. Okay, so this is the optimal offense.

• 55:21Speaker 06

  Not yet. It kinda looks like a little penis.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  That's the most offensive middle finger.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Okay, lis- listeners, alright, so my middle finger is slightly elevated, not fully straight. My ring and pointer finger are equally but are kinda hunched, like a guy vomiting. Thumb is kinda up and out.

• 55:46Speaker 06

  It looks like he's doing a shitty version of the claw from Liar Liar.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  Middle finger and pinky are making like an eighty-five degree. It's annoyingly not ninety, and it's all like I'm holding some kind of a thing.

• 55:59Speaker 04

  You're changing the light bulb right now.

• 56:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 06

  Imagine a witch putting a curse on somebody with her long fingers out in a weird creepy way.

• 56:08Speaker 03

  And then I hold my hand in a way that all the other fingers are more hidden, but kinda not. That's offensive.

• 56:16Speaker 04

  It's like you're eating an apple, but also you're telling someone to F off. Apple.

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Pick up an apple that was already.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  That was already eaten. So you gotta grab by the core with your pinky and thumb, then wrap around the top. But there's that part that's bitten out and then you got the stem right on your middle finger up top. It's a long stem.

• 56:35Speaker 04

  Apple. Been there. How many apples I've picked up off tables in the food court had to hold like that. Apple. But for a free apple. Apple. Got it. Yes, apple. Yes.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  What is that from?

• 56:47Speaker 04

  I remember that as a thing that Wade does and nothing else. I don't remember.

• 56:50Speaker 06

  I do that. It all started with a reference to the witch from Snow White presenting the apple where she's like, got the hood up. And it's like, would you accept an apple from someone who looked like old and creepy and hunched, wearing a hood of all darkness that is approaching like.

• 57:04Speaker 06

  You're like, oh yeah, thanks.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, why didn't she come down as the queen?

• 57:09Speaker 06

  I don't know. I would, I would have accepted royal apples.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  You know, cause I feel like you would be like, wow, a royal person is giving me an apple.

• 57:17Speaker 04

  A queen apple.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Holy shit. Thank you, your majesty. Like they would all know, right?

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Is she known as the evil queen in that universe to begin with though? Is that the thing? Cause she's the evil queen, right? In the story, but is she, is she the evil queen before she does that to Snow White? Or does she become the evil queen?

• 57:35Speaker 03

  Is she the one that turns into a dragon?

• 57:38Speaker 06

  Dragon needs nuts.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  Give me some points, man.

• 57:43Speaker 06

  Be better. I don't know, man. Have some good cut ins of your own. Don't be so jealous of mine.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  How did donkey and that dragon from Shrek make babies?

• 57:54Speaker 04

  Penis vagina, sperms.

• 57:57Speaker 06

  They had alternate forms of herms where they were very similar.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  Have you ever heard the phrase hung like a donkey?

• 58:03Speaker 03

  No, actually I haven't.

• 58:05Speaker 04

  It's a thing. It's out there.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  But that the even so, the size discrepancy.

• 58:12Speaker 06

  I imagine the dragon had to hover at the edge of a cliff and then donkey ran full speed at the last moment pulled up. And then just.

• 58:20Speaker 03

  Why is that necessary? Why is that part of the equation?

• 58:22Speaker 06

  You asked the question I was answering.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Why is there a cliff? Why at the edge of a cliff? What does the cliff have to do with anything?

• 58:29Speaker 06

  To lower herself.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  What? What? Is she hanging off the edge?

• 58:35Speaker 06

  She can fly. She's a dragon.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  Why is she flying? Why does she need to fly?

• 58:39Speaker 04

  Cause she's a dragon, Mark. Keep up.

• 58:41Speaker 06

  Duh.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  All right. Wade's been really jumping all over Mark's stuff. Wade's been really stealing a lot of points. I got one.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 58:51Speaker 04

  Mark, you get to go first this time.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 58:54Speaker 04

  I want you to get deep about camera lenses.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  All right, let me jump in. Oh, I thought you were gonna say how donkey made a baby.

• 59:03Speaker 04

  How donkey and dragon figured out how to do it?

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Okay, what was it, lenses?

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Camera lenses. Oh, or any kind of lens, really, but.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  It came over me.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  Mark just gets really worked up about camera lenses, I think. I just got excited. Finally, it's my chance. All right. The whole concept of lenses kind of boils down to glass, right? How lucky are we in this universe, like universally lucky, that it just so happened that we melted sand? And it was clear. That must have been mind blowing for the first person that melted glass down in a fire that was hot enough to do that. The first human just must have been like, you know, like to see, to see a fucking just glass. That was crazy because the only other thing transparent of the, okay, there was water. I guess you could kind of see through water, but that was liquid, right? That, well, okay, glass is a liquid, but they wouldn't have known that, right? No, they couldn't have known that.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. So the concept, oh, for people that don't know, glass is just an extremely slow moving liquid, apparently. And they've done experiments of this where they had like a piece of a low viscosity gla- glass.

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Glass is just the ice of sand.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Broke him?

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  Oh, man, watching Mark break, I mean, listening to Mark break in real time.

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  Cause I was trying to follow it. I went like, no, it really was error.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  That must've been nuts, right? Lenses as like just the fact that you're taking this. Sand is so crazy for humanity. Sand has been so good to us. It makes computer chips. It makes uh, glass lenses. Darth Vader.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  Sandpaper.

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  All these things.

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  Beaches.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Sandbox. Yes, I'm gonna say yes. Dessert with one S. It fills tacos from Taco Bell. There's sand in those. Orifices. You go to the beach. You're getting sand in there. Uh, so lenses coming out of all that like hearkens back to that first time. I think we all see how my point connects. You filmed your first time? Is that what I'm getting? God, I hope not.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  I really hope not.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  All right, Wayne, if you could, if you can, if you even know enough, can you get deep about camera lenses?

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  Oh, of course. I mean, I don't know when the first photograph was taken.

• 1:01:44Speaker 04

  1963.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  That feels wrong, but I'm going to choose to believe you. All right. If I look up and give you the right answer, would it be, would you believe it? You're gonna counter our host? Our host is correct. Okay, it was 1717.

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  That's what I said.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  That's what Bob said. You wanna know how? I'm assuming with glass. No.

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  Does this count tintype or whatever? Is this that kind of stuff?

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  No, apparently Johann Heinrich Schulz used a light sensitive slurry to capture images of cut out letters on a bottle.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Huh. A bottle made of.

• 1:02:21Speaker 04

  Sand ice.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  They'll have to have glass. Anyway, these are photograms, so I guess they're not photographs. Oh, I love photograms. They have little teddy bears. They have cinnamon and. Oh, he went on to develop the daguerreotype. Come on, Mark, leave some points for me. All right, I'll give you a point if you can pronounce this name. Say it.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  Fucking look.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  Say it to me and I'll pronounce it. No, hang on. I'm gonna put it in the chat. Hold on. I'm putting it in the chat. All right. You're gonna give me a point? Bob, I don't know. Mark's points might be worth more.

• 1:02:49Speaker 04

  Pronounce that name.

• 1:02:51Speaker 06

  Niqafore Nieps.

• 1:02:53Speaker 04

  I'm pretty sure it's Niepschi. Niepschi? Niepschi?

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  And it'd probably be Nietzsche.

• 1:02:58Speaker 04

  Nietzsche pore Niepschi.

• 1:03:00Speaker 06

  Nietzsche pore Niepschi.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  Nietzsche pore Niepschi.

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  That's definitely right.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  He's from France, so more French.

• 1:03:08Speaker 04

  Oh, Nietzsche pore Niepschi.

• 1:03:11Speaker 06

  Nice four Nieps.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  Damn, so French in here.

• 1:03:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, pretty French.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  All right, I'm sorry. I'm done interrupting.

• 1:03:20Speaker 06

  Oh, man, it's so hard giving my point when I get interrupted all the time. So it's like being you guys?

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  I knew you couldn't do it. Wade loses this one. Wade forfeits. Mark wins camera lenses.

• 1:03:29Speaker 06

  Yes! But I had, okay.

• 1:03:35Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino.

• 1:03:44Speaker 00

  Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive, or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting, and completely delicious. Simply. Say yes to simple.

• 1:04:35Speaker 04

  One more. I have a bunch left, but one more. There is a rule about this one, and it might feel unfair.

• 1:04:41Speaker 06

  Oh, shit!

• 1:04:44Speaker 04

  Oh, wait.

• 1:04:47Speaker 04

  Alright, well, I guess we're doing the thing.

• 1:04:49Speaker 06

  I didn't know the host could call unfair, but here we are.

• 1:04:53Speaker 04

  Anyone can do it. I'm not sure what the outcome of this will be, but hopefully nothing.

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  Alright, I guess we don't play this round if it's declared to be unfair.

• 1:05:03Speaker 06

  Let's find out.

• 1:05:05Speaker 04

  Aye! Mine is tails.

• 1:05:08Speaker 03

  Okay, I got tails.

• 1:05:10Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:05:11Speaker 04

  Oh, no, wait!

• 1:05:13Speaker 03

  Oh, god, what does that mean?

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So, I declared unfair.

• 1:05:20Speaker 06

  And you lost.

• 1:05:21Speaker 04

  And I lost, so it will be made doubly fair. What I declared unfair was this category. So to make it doubly fair...

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  All points in this round are doubled?

• 1:05:36Speaker 04

  The only the points from this category count in the game?

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck!

• 1:05:42Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  That would, that, I mean, you're the host.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  Is that doubly fair?

• 1:05:47Speaker 06

  I guess so. That would be, okay, alright.

• 1:05:51Speaker 04

  Fuck, I have so much shit written down.

• 1:05:54Speaker 06

  Ooh! Camera, what you wish for?

• 1:05:57Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Holy shit. That's the first time we've gotten three of the same one in a while.

• 1:06:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's been a while. Okay, so only, only the points from this category count.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  I'm so ready.

• 1:06:09Speaker 04

  For who wins this game. I'm glad that happened. Totally, that was very much on purpose.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  I feel like this is an advantage for me, so.

• 1:06:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, Mark, you're gonna really like this one. Who gets to go first on this? Wade gets to go first on this.

• 1:06:22Speaker 06

  Mark, let Mark go first, I can interrupt a bunch.

• 1:06:24Speaker 03

  No, Wade, Wade's got this.

• 1:06:25Speaker 06

  Okay, I'll go first.

• 1:06:26Speaker 04

  You can still interrupt if you go second.

• 1:06:28Speaker 06

  Oh, good boy.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  Wade, you go first. I want you to get deep about two-sentence horror stories.

• 1:06:35Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck, god, man, what the fuck?

• 1:06:38Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 1:06:41Speaker 04

  I told you it seemed like it was unfair.

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  God damn.

• 1:06:44Speaker 06

  It's almost like the last one was too.

• 1:06:47Speaker 03

  But it's so fair.

• 1:06:48Speaker 04

  The rule is you have to get deep in two sentence statements.

• 1:06:54Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 1:06:57Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 1:07:02Speaker 04

  I didn't fucking need to do the.

• 1:07:06Speaker 04

  So sorry.

• 1:07:08Speaker 03

  Oh, no, it's just, it's just sentences, right? We don't have to make.

• 1:07:11Speaker 04

  No, it doesn't have to be. Yeah, it doesn't have to be a horror story. I'm not giving you a sentence you have to finish. I just want you to get deep about two sentence horror stories in the form of two sentence statements.

• 1:07:23Speaker 06

  Alright, okay. Since the dawn of time, horror has been a major influence and part of our culture. Two-sentence horror stories took that to a whole new level by making it partly comedic, as well as maintaining some of the spookiness and scariness to it, thereby making it even better.

• 1:07:41Speaker 04

  Fucking thereby? God damn. Alright.

• 1:07:44Speaker 06

  That's right. Okay, I got this. A master of the vernacular.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  Ready?

• 1:07:49Speaker 04

  Go get them. Get them, Mark. Brevity.

• 1:07:55Speaker 06

  Ah!

• 1:08:00Speaker 06

  Wait, I need to cut in. That was so short. I didn't even get a chance. Dammit, you're learning. We only go once on this? Is that all we get?

• 1:08:07Speaker 04

  We can go back and forth. We keep going. I like this. Let's keep going.

• 1:08:10Speaker 06

  Alright, okay. Oh, can I just stop? I feel like if I stop there, I might have an advantage. I don't know.

• 1:08:16Speaker 03

  No, no, I gotta have opportunity to cut in.

• 1:08:18Speaker 06

  Our podcast over the years has had a lot of interesting and fun topics and episodes. Two-sentence horror stories being one that one of us maybe struggled with a little bit more than the others, has gotta be toward the top of the list and thereby making it.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  Can't just stand thereby?

• 1:08:38Speaker 04

  You only get one thereby point for game. Calm down.

• 1:08:42Speaker 06

  That wasn't listed in the rules. The only rule was two sentences.

• 1:08:46Speaker 03

  Well, you said and thereby. I think if we typed that one out, there would have been a period and and started your next sentence. And thereby.

• 1:08:53Speaker 06

  You don't start a sentence with and? What are you, you kind of monster are you?

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  You can do whatever you want because sentences are just things that we made up.

• 1:09:00Speaker 06

  I choose not to.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  I don't know if that was deep. That was just obvious and factual.

• 1:09:05Speaker 06

  Hold on. If we're gonna talk about deep, brevity, ah?

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  It's very deep.

• 1:09:11Speaker 06

  That's like the ultimate installation.

• 1:09:13Speaker 04

  In two words, he said everything.

• 1:09:15Speaker 06

  You're lucky you've already called unfair.

• 1:09:21Speaker 04

  In two words, he said it all. Two words, two sentences. I don't even know if you can have two sentences with less than two words.

• 1:09:27Speaker 06

  Terror, thy name is Brevith. Mark, back to you.

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  All right. That wasn't the start of it.

• 1:09:33Speaker 06

  Wow, well said.

• 1:09:34Speaker 07

  Hark! Hear mine words, oh simpletons of the land that do reap my fucking gold. No, I've trapped myself. Ah, I'm stuck in a well. I'm stuck in a well. It's so dark down here. These are not sentences. It's all one. I'm so panicked that I can't stop.

• 1:09:51Speaker 06

  Isn't a hark a sentence?

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  But when they look for me in the well, I was already dead.

• 1:10:03Speaker 06

  How many sentences was, isn't a hark in and of itself an exclamation?

• 1:10:06Speaker 04

  Hark is an exclamation that is a sentence in itself.

• 1:10:14Speaker 06

  Hark! Damn it, only one sentence left. Oh, this is it. I better continue it very carefully.

• 1:10:19Speaker 03

  Ah, man, glad I stuck that landing.

• 1:10:24Speaker 04

  I don't think we need to go anymore. I think that's deep enough.

• 1:10:27Speaker 06

  I don't know. I feel like Mark's just getting warmed up. I think one more would be great for him.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  No. Hark. Shut up.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Terror and comedy are like the sweet and sour of our soul. Why didn't you say that in your sentences?

• 1:10:41Speaker 06

  I'm saying it now.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  Oh, my air conditioner just like blasted.

• 1:10:48Speaker 06

  So anyway, I started blasting.

• 1:10:50Speaker 03

  Hark, I started blasting.

• 1:10:52Speaker 06

  I see two harks.

• 1:10:56Speaker 04

  All right, let's just stop. Everyone stop. The points are in. Mark, you earned points for eating like a child, rock candy, delicious, windows removed atmos, you're watching in, whoo, shatmoose.

• 1:11:14Speaker 04

  I wrote down all the sound effects you did. Yo, Mr. White, we made him up? Ovens are just Gaia. You optimized penises and herms. The shoes were long gone. You figured out what the most offensive finger was. Sand is just ice of glass. That's my joke, but you had the best reaction to it. There's so French in here. The brevity. Ah. And also, when they looked, when they finally looked for me in the well, I was already dead. Which is written mostly on Wade's side of the scorecard. Wade, you earned points for basketball man, running lines. Bald, headband.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  Making fun of the listeners, got them. Run, Ra. Run, Ra. Run, Roy, Roy, run, Roy. Roy, run. Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy. Or whatever the fuck you said. You also got points for dead bread. Dead bread, dead, dead bread, dead, bread, dead, dead bread, bread, dead bread. I don't know why I wrote like that, but we all remember. You got points for pointing at yourself and just going ugly. Did you do that or did I imagine that? You earned points for driveway fridge, refrigerator. Nope, no idea, something about refrigerator. Oh, icebox age. Our country was built on freons. Blonde particle, blue glow.

• 1:12:42Speaker 04

  You got a thereby and a second thereby point. You also got a, I'm saying it was point. And you also got a dragon over the edge of the cliff doing it with donkey point. You did get minus one point for being the only person to only one time comment on the fact that I was just randomly flipping this coin during the episode. Mark never said a thing about it and I wasn't doing anything other than flipping the coin to see if anyone would react. And when you did one time pointed out that that was minus one point. Unfortunately, almost none of those points count for anything.

• 1:13:17Speaker 04

  And the final score of points that actually matter is three to three.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  It's a good thing I documented all that.

• 1:13:28Speaker 06

  Uh huh. Well, I'm happy about it. It was very, very good. Great use of a coin.

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  I wish that that had been on purpose, but I'm just stupid.

• 1:13:35Speaker 06

  You just went all in with how unfair and I was like, oh, he wants this.

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  I literally was like, I should try and bait them into saying, I baited myself into saying it. How many bonus points?

• 1:13:46Speaker 06

  Zero. I hope it's one.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  It's three.

• 1:13:51Speaker 06

  What a surprise!

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  Unbelievable. Most interruptions of the other player.

• 1:14:00Speaker 06

  Oh, hell yeah. That definitely favors me. I interrupt you guys all the time. Hmm. Yeah, that's true.

• 1:14:04Speaker 04

  All right. We got three spins of this bad boy. Let's boogie.

• 1:14:10Speaker 06

  Golf rules.

• 1:14:14Speaker 04

  Baldist. All right. Well, sorry, Mark. That one's kinda, if I rip my hair out right now, would that count? I would give it to you.

• 1:14:22Speaker 06

  Probably because I got a little bit of like a. Yeah, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I would never do it. I've got an 8pm shadow showing.

• 1:14:29Speaker 04

  Wait, gets the first one with Baldist.

• 1:14:32Speaker 06

  Baldist again.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  Oh, thank God. If the coin has not been flipped, flip it, apply the last contentious thing.

• 1:14:41Speaker 06

  Holy crap. Wow. Was that even bold?

• 1:14:45Speaker 04

  I love that that's on there. It's really unfortunate that I accidentally burned the coin flip on the one time we're ever gonna land on that spin. But here we go. Spin number two again.

• 1:14:56Speaker 04

  Maybe it should just be whether or not the coin has been used. Most impressions, I think.

• 1:15:00Speaker 06

  Oh, Mr. White.

• 1:15:02Speaker 04

  Mark gets that one.

• 1:15:03Speaker 06

  White. I only did one. It was, I know this one, I think. I have barely an impression to that point. This is your slogan. How dare you.

• 1:15:11Speaker 04

  Yo, Mr. White. What do you want, Jesse?

• 1:15:16Speaker 06

  There was a lot of that.

• 1:15:17Speaker 04

  Have you heard of a shower?

• 1:15:19Speaker 06

  Oh, Jesse.

• 1:15:21Speaker 04

  Spin number three, best comeback.

• 1:15:24Speaker 06

  Okay, is this a comeback like score wise or like a retort?

• 1:15:28Speaker 04

  I was gonna go either one and I really want to give it to Mark's two sentence horror story that started with hark. Sentence number two.

• 1:15:40Speaker 04

  You saved it. You turned that all the way into it. When they finally looked for me in the well, I was already dead.

• 1:15:47Speaker 03

  Look, I appreciate your candor, but I don't think that's a comeback. I think that's sticking the landing.

• 1:15:55Speaker 03

  Which I did for sure. 100%.

• 1:15:59Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 1:16:00Speaker 03

  You, you did something. Since we all got tied up, I don't know if that qualifies score wise.

• 1:16:09Speaker 04

  I can't think of any like really snappy comebacks. Wade had some interruptions and some good one liners, but none of them were like.

• 1:16:15Speaker 03

  Not comeback.

• 1:16:16Speaker 04

  A comeback to Mark.

• 1:16:18Speaker 03

  The best I can think of is the Dragon D's nuts and I don't, but if someone else said something else to that, but that's still not that. I don't know.

• 1:16:24Speaker 04

  I'm gonna re-spin. That's a re-spin. We'll do a re-spin. It's not definitive. I don't want any wishy washy bullshit.

• 1:16:31Speaker 03

  Holy. Oh my god.

• 1:16:34Speaker 06

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:16:35Speaker 04

  All of that for the final spin to be sudden death. It's a tie.

• 1:16:41Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:16:42Speaker 06

  It's finally happened.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  I have the numbers for the wheel, uh, cause we actually spun it recently.

• 1:16:47Speaker 04

  Cause we did that recently. Yeah.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. So I have the percentage or the out of 360.

• 1:16:53Speaker 04

  All right. I just want to show that this is, I have documented that it is now a sudden death round.

• 1:16:59Speaker 03

  Wow. That's good.

• 1:17:02Speaker 04

  What is the number supposed to be?

• 1:17:04Speaker 03

  It was 91. Now it's 98. That's looking pretty chunky there. That's pretty big. It's beefy.

• 1:17:10Speaker 04

  It's, that's getting close to one third of the wheel right now.

• 1:17:15Speaker 03

  Nice. But I mean, the odds are so against it still. Oh wait, you gotta change Bob to Mark.

• 1:17:21Speaker 04

  Oh, I could win.

• 1:17:22Speaker 03

  That'd be fair enough.

• 1:17:23Speaker 04

  No, no, not, not, not.

• 1:17:25Speaker 03

  You can't declare unfair. What are you gonna do?

• 1:17:27Speaker 04

  Mark Wade wins. Oh my god. All right. There we go. Mark Wade or one man show. Wait, the weight's turned off. Hang on. Wait a minute.

• 1:17:36Speaker 03

  No, it was good. It was good. I liked it.

• 1:17:38Speaker 04

  98 is a lot, but I would like 98 more than I would like an equal one third. All right. Here we go. Mark Wade, one man show. Boom.

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  Oh!

• 1:17:53Speaker 07

  Oh, God!

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  Holy fuck.

• 1:17:56Speaker 07

  Oh, not me, thank fuck. Oh.

• 1:18:00Speaker 06

  Oh, I'm feeling the same way.

• 1:18:02Speaker 07

  Ah.

• 1:18:03Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 1:18:05Speaker 07

  Oh, well, now we gotta figure that out. Oh, shit.

• 1:18:09Speaker 06

  Uh, can we spin the wheel to determine who has to make your one-man show?

• 1:18:13Speaker 04

  Technically, it's supposed to be both you guys together.

• 1:18:16Speaker 06

  Work with him. He's my competitor.

• 1:18:18Speaker 04

  All right, well, so the winner is both of you, I guess.

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  The loser is you, is how it all works.

• 1:18:24Speaker 06

  No, you win a one-man show.

• 1:18:26Speaker 07

  Yeah, you did win. You get to host.

• 1:18:28Speaker 04

  No, you guys host. I just am the one-man show.

• 1:18:31Speaker 06

  Unless we just make you do it. I think we all need to be here.

• 1:18:34Speaker 04

  That's not the deal. The deal is that the people who are not the one-man show are supposed to make the show for the person to do.

• 1:18:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have done a one-man show that Tyler and Ethan wrote a full script of, and then I performed it on a stage.

• 1:18:47Speaker 06

  You also did one here on Distractible that we wrote.

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  Could do that. So we'll just have to decide what that is.

• 1:18:53Speaker 06

  Congrats, Bob.

• 1:18:54Speaker 04

  Hooray. You guys want to give a joint winner speech, I guess?

• 1:19:02Speaker 04

  We.

• 1:19:03Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 1:19:04Speaker 06

  That's two words.

• 1:19:05Speaker 07

  I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. You do it. I don't want to do the same two in it.

• 1:19:10Speaker 06

  One.

• 1:19:11Speaker 07

  No, don't make me do this. Don't make me do this.

• 1:19:14Speaker 06

  And.

• 1:19:15Speaker 07

  No, no, I can't do it. I do want to make my own speech. I don't want to make you. I don't want to make you. I want to be.

• 1:19:21Speaker 06

  Are.

• 1:19:22Speaker 07

  No, no.

• 1:19:24Speaker 06

  Grateful.

• 1:19:25Speaker 07

  I want to see what.

• 1:19:27Speaker 06

  Thanks.

• 1:19:28Speaker 07

  We did it.

• 1:19:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, we did it. We did it.

• 1:19:30Speaker 06

  Bob, do you want to give a hoster's speech?

• 1:19:33Speaker 04

  I fucking don't. Uh, good episode. That really worked out for the best for everybody, I think. Uh, thanks for watching and listening and whatever you did, whatever you did made this happen. So I really appreciate that. Thanks, everybody. Really try not to be overly disappointed, but I'm now looking forward to whatever you guys are gonna come up with for this. I can't lie.

• 1:19:57Speaker 01

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive, or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting, and completely delicious. Simply, say yes to simple.

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

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• 1:20:56Speaker 02

  It's okay, man.

• 1:20:58Speaker 04

  I'm sure it'll be fun. Make sure you follow the show on your platform of choice. Make sure you follow Mark, Wade, and myself on our channels. And the next episode is going to be a one-man show performed by me, probably, unless I die. And then we reset the thing to small again. That's it. See you on the next one. I'm sure it will be fun for almost everybody who's there. Tell the next one, podcast out.