King of the Friend Zone

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• 0:01Speaker 00

  Low energy, unfocused, foggy? You might be dehydrated. Whether it's hot yoga, over 100-degree weather, or too much sun. Gator Light, with a specialized blend of five electrolytes, was scientifically designed to help move fluids into the body faster for rapid rehydration. Shop now at retailers nationwide. Gator Light: Hydrates Faster Than Water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  This episode of Distractible is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay. How do you guys know when someone's really your friend? I don't know.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  I don't know. But I do know that T-Mobile 5G Home Internet's got your back with their fast speeds, easy 15-minute setup, a price for any budget, and five-year price guarantee. Visit tmobile.com/homeinternet to check availability. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Services delivered via 5G networks. Speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular and networks. Guarantee, exclusions, details at tmobile.com/homeinternet.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode: Bit mining Bob is bagging up. Home Labs does derelict shafts, then creates cards with the cards. Magnified Mark air rams his bathroom, baits Wade, and rambles to righteousness. Wireless Wade snubs Snow, snores, forgets his podcasts, goes grisly, masterfully memes, and brilliantly belts up. From hard listening to painful clinching. Heh heh heh heh heh. It's time for King of the Friend Zone.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. That's right. You accidentally listened to this podcast yet again. Don't worry, you have plenty of time to turn it off before stuff happens. If you've never seen the show before, I'm your host because I won the last episode and the two people competed to win this episode and host the next one. As always, will be Mark and Wade. Say hi, boys.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Hi, boys. Hello.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Mark gets a point for listening.

• 2:32Speaker 04

  I knew the times I do it doesn't matter when time mark.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Oh, does something seem a little to you? Does it seem a little?

• 2:41Speaker 04

  Whoa, do you?

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 2:43Speaker 04

  Oh, it does, but I'm not.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Not even points at stake.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  It's unfair.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Whoa, all right, he did it. I thought it was a bit, but he just did it. All right, Wade has declared that Mark getting points for listening is unfair.

• 3:00Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  I didn't even realize I got a point for that. Okay. Yeah, that does seem. Okay, I thought he just acknowledged me.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  No, he gave you a point.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  You listened. You said hi, but anyway, so all all three heads, Wade is correct. And Mark will not get a point for listening and Wade will get a point for not listening, I guess.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  All three tails markets bonus points for listening and nothing happens if this mixed. Ready, set. I dropped my coin. Fucking shit.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Tails. Oh, no.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  Does that count as a flip or do I flip it? I dropped it and it's tails on the floor. Does that count as a flip or do I re-flip it?

• 3:40Speaker 01

  You got a triangle of fairness up into the screen, but remember it's surface side up, so you'd have to show it backwards.

• 3:46Speaker 04

  Wait, doesn't that mean, is it tails mean Marcus two points?

• 3:50Speaker 02

  This is my tails. It's a lion. The lion is tails. Mark gets a bonus point.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  I baited him into getting me a point. This is a great episode. I hope it's nice and short and that we can.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  This is just not my season. It's just not my season.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  Not your life, buddy.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  I win and I'm not really the winner. The listeners are the winner. It's just, this is not my season.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  All right. Well, now that that is made doubly fair. Yeah, Mark has received his extra super fair, double fair points for listening like a good boy. Yeah, they're competing to win. I said the stuff. I'm the host. Yeah, whatever. Uh, small talk. How's it going there, fellers? How are we doing?

• 4:32Speaker 02

  It did snow. It's no.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  I heard about this.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  There's snow on the ground outside and it's it's too cold.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  Oh, I already had to shovel places so the dogs could go out. It's why?

• 4:44Speaker 01

  I saw pictures of this where you had the fall leaves only just really getting underway. And then ice and snow.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Literally this past week, I was like, oh, the leaves changed. Oh, fuck the yard's all fucked with leaves. All right now. And I like yesterday or like two days ago, I was like, ah, I gotta rake. I gotta get out and rake or it's gonna be and then it fucking snowed.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's uh, it's fun.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  To be fair, it is November. It's almost the middle of November. So like that is kind of the right time for snow. Almost, but also like three weeks ago, it was 80 fucking degrees outside. So.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  Also true.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Thanks, Ohio.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  Some of the leaves that have landed like on the driveway and the sidewalk. So it wasn't quite like enough snow where it like stuck to the sidewalk and the driveway, but where the leaves were, the snow landed on the leaves. So there's just like leaf shaped piles of snow all over the sidewalk and driveway. Cause we have like some of the bigger leaves or whatever. So there's just like little pockets of handfuls of leaves with piles of snow all over the place. It looks really weird.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  That's really funny.

• 5:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, snow. It's cold. I hate it.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  So I have a render farm update.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Um, it's not gonna be exciting.

• 6:02Speaker 04

  I'll take a nap immediately.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Uh, so in my experience, um, I have had many ups and downs with the render farm, uh, especially in terms of like how to get the computers in there, what format? And I'm circling back to this crazy thing. It's gonna make a lot of people mad.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Clover salts.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  No, no, no. Don't even need it. I've, I've very much become like no water cooling at all. Unless it's like a all in one. And even then I would rather have an air cooler because it's just going to be consistent. At least I guess that the fan fails, but usually you can have two on them. I was so proud of my ability to go on eBay and find these crate Wade. Nah, it's fine. I was so proud of my ability to go on eBay, you know, much like, uh, the Cincinnati Bengals.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Cincinnati.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  I was just gonna write a sign that said Wade loses a point for every minute he sleeps while Mark talks. So it's good that you woke up.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Anyway, so um, I did not know this, but you know, the Intel chip that everyone seemed to not review very well, that I've been like, it's actually very good. They make a workstation grade motherboard for that, that takes error correcting RAM. And it's the same fucking price as a normal, well, in a high end, but a high end, normal desktop motherboard. And why this is huge is error correcting RAM is very important on a server, especially if you're running it a long time. It's because when it's doing calculations that are very precise and needs to not have wrong numbers in the memory, that leads to bad issues. And uh, it's, there's a lot of reasons why it would happen, why it doesn't happen, but error correcting RAM corrects it.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  And so it makes it really, really uncommon for those to happen. But it's also stupendously cheaper than the, even the discounted server hardware I was getting online. It is stupendous and it's more power efficient and it's like, and I look at it, I'm like, ah, what was I fucking thinking with this stupid render farm? So yeah, um, I'm going to be overhauling it because now that Iron Lung is wrapping up, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get it out of my bathroom. I'm gonna get it out of the bathroom and then I'm gonna move it uh, so that it could be, cause it was always a stopgap. It was always like, this is urgent. I gotta do this right here in this bathroom. There's no other place to do it, apparently. And then um, you know, then one thing led to another, but I'm gonna be moving it, I'm gonna be selling stuff and then I'm gonna convert

• 8:27Speaker 01

  it to a much more optimized, streamlined, and this is once again where I'm like, people, like, again, you just don't be loyal to AMD or Intel. Buy what is useful in the moment. And holy shit, I can, like, they're so discounted because no one wants to get them because the two frames per second, it gets less than the other ones. Who cares? It is such a good productivity chip. It's so good. I'm doing overhaul of that. So I got some computer parts coming in.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Well, that's fun.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  It's very fun. I'm, I've already sold a couple of things um, back, so technically I'm up, except I paid for them before, so I'm down, but you know.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  But you got that money back. Full price, I'm sure.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Yo, yeah, oh yeah.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  Wade, are you slowly drooping off the bottom of your shot or is that just me? You look.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Oh, I might be. I don't know. I was drawing us. I drew us.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  I must be far away. I'm really far away.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  I like overall. I mean, it's funny because I'm saying that I was bitching last episode about moving. Whenever we cut this recording, I have to just move my desk into, I'm not sure what boxes, whatever I can find and take it over to the other house. Holy fuck, am I not excited for that, but I love when you get a new thing. As a, as a computer nerd, I'm really excited right now because I have an old laptop that I've been like, what do I do with it? It still works. I'm going to home lab. Guys, I'm going to do home lab. I'm going to get my own, my own NAS. I'm going to get my, I have my, my, my, my videos hosted on a server.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Plex server? You're going to get a Plex?

• 10:03Speaker 02

  I'm going to Plex it up, bro. I'm going to get Plex so good.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 10:07Speaker 02

  I don't know what the hell you're saying. I'm going to, I'm going to set up a home VPN and probably compromise the security of my entire home network. It's going to be sick. I mean, I'll figure it out once some bad happens, but it's always fun. Like I'm going to be really, I'm not a good computer engineer person. I'm going to be terrible. My home lab's going to be garbage. It's never going to work.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  The hell's a home lab?

• 10:28Speaker 02

  It's just like a server. You just use an old computer. You just run a home server, but there's lots of different little things you could do with it to where like you could have your own ad blocker on your whole network. I'm not going to do that because I don't mind the ads because that's how I make money on the internet, but.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  There's a video, uh, wait, if you want to really not know what is going on and also, uh, judge someone for spending a lot of money on something that isn't necessarily useful. Um, there's this guy with like an incredible home lab, like it's in a separate room in his basement. That's noise proof, its own HVAC, a whole power system just for that from the solar panel of the batteries. And he went in there and was like, yeah, this is where I check the weather. This is where I keep the weather reports that I check. It's like that's he might be not saying what he's really doing there, but it seemed like really Monday.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  So funny.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  It was like this room, but full of server racks, like bigger than my render farm.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  That dude is definitely hosting like terabytes of P to P like movie downloads type of stuff. He's doing something where he's like, ah, let's not talk about that, but.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  I think his job is actually doing kind of server maintenance. So.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Maybe he's mining for Bitcoin.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Oh, speaking of Bitcoin mining, I'm not ever going to invest in that, but I did see a little thing that's really fun. It's just, it's literally just like a gidgety gadget that's never going to do anything, but they make these little, I forget what they're called specifically, but it's basically like a little Raspberry Pi, like a very small computer set up to mine Bitcoin, but it's a, it's an all or nothing mining thing. So it's kind of like gambling. The way, the way mining usually works is your, your hardware, along with tons of other people's hardware are solving this one problem. And then you get a fraction of a fraction of whatever the fee was, right? So like you're sharing with, I don't even know, dozens, hundreds, thousands of other people. So that's why you mine tiny, tiny little bits.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  This one thing like finds a specific blockchain, whatever transaction and tries to solve the whole thing all by itself. And if it does, you get the whole fee, which can be substantially more than what you, but like it's never going to do that. Never in a million years is that going to happen, but it's fun. You could like, I just, you sit on your desk and you watch it and like, maybe one day it'll be like, oh, you got half a Bitcoin. Congrats. Or, yeah, I don't know.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Isn't a bit.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  That's like 50 grand, 60 grand, something like it would, yes, it would be quite a lot. I don't think that's very realistic, but it, it's, it's a toy, right? It's just a little gadget, but it's fun because you're kind of like, maybe it'll hit, it won't, but maybe it will.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, Wade, I know it probably sounded dismissive when I said you asked this mining mine. I said, no, it's just because the Bitcoin mining things now are like building sized.

• 13:14Speaker 04

  Oh, I've seen some pictures of people that have just like, yeah, like a mine shaft full of nothing but computers.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's it's kind of crazy.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  Dude, that would be so meta, a mine shaft Bitcoin mine.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  There was literally an image I saw where it looked like that.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  That dude who lives in Cerro Gordo should make one of the abandoned mine shafts into a Bitcoin mine. That'd be so fun. Do you know that YouTube channel?

• 13:38Speaker 01

  I don't know the guy in Cerro Gordo, no.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Cerro Gordo, Cerro Gordo is a town outside of San Francisco. It's like one of the old, old mining towns. It was abandoned. And like five years ago, this dude bought it super cheap from like the state or the county or wherever.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  A whole town?

• 13:54Speaker 02

  The whole town filled with houses and buildings built a century or more ago. But he just moved out there and has been living in, I think it's called Ghost Town Living is the YouTube channel. I think we've talked about it before. I think I've talked about it before on this. It's fascinating, but he has a bunch of mine shafts and stuff and he goes down and actually the explores them because the main elevator still functions and but he should have a Bitcoin mine shaft. That would be so meta, dude.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  It would be. It would be.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  How much did he buy a whole town for?

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Not very much. It was literally like an abandoned plot of land on the top of a mountain that's impossible to get to. And the buildings are not worth the crappy old wrought out wood that they're built with. Like, like, it's, it's a fascinating journey that he's on. And like, he's built a new hotel and he's like, he's hosted people to come and hang out. But it's not, there's like no, no running water, no electricity. It was like he bought an empty plot of land in the mountains that nobody wanted. So it was not terribly expensive, I don't think. But also, it was a long time ago, so I don't remember.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  But he could do that. That'd be so funny. That's one, it's one YouTube videos worth of content right there for free. Anyway.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  I, I forgot we were recording. I thought we were just chatting. I kind of forgot about the whole episode thing.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, we do a podcast. Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  It is kind of like we hang out. It's fun to hang out. That's kind of, kind of what's going on here.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  It does happen.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's, there's times where I just get so caught up in what we're doing, I kind of forget that it's.

• 15:26Speaker 05

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• 15:55Speaker 04

  This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah, we all need that sometimes and Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  I think that might be them knocking on the door and because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Dude, them or the FBI, I'm not a hundred percent sure.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up. Or there's a will, we're on our way. Uber, on our way. Download the app today.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Well, do you guys want to play a game?

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, have you guys heard of Vain? New like zombie survival game?

• 16:35Speaker 01

  No, sounds cool. Vain?

• 16:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think it was V A I N or V E I, I think, is it V E I N?

• 16:42Speaker 01

  V A N E. How pretty are these zombies?

• 16:46Speaker 04

  V E I N, like a blood vein. I want to check it. I've not got to play it yet. I want to check it out.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Reminds me of GTFO.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Ooh, that was a fun one.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  This is a thief simulator style zombie game, right?

• 16:58Speaker 02

  You got big into GTFO for a minute. I remember that.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  I did, yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 04

  I think it's been described as like a first person's envoy.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Hmm, well, Project Zomboid is really fucking difficult. So that's, it sounds like the kind of thing Mark might get into.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  I tried it. I did an episode where it ends when I died and I lasted about an hour.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  That's not bad for a first attempt. I think it's supposed to be a hard game, right?

• 17:20Speaker 02

  I think people die pretty fast usually, don't they?

• 17:23Speaker 01

  I was destined to die like 10 minutes in, but it was a slow, like withering away kind of death. And then I got chased down and eaten. Yeah, so did not go well.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'd like to play that.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  No, we're going to play my game, which was probably way worse than that because I invented it. I was, the other day. Was Mandy's dad's birthday and we were going out to dinner and we had to go and pick out a card and by which I mean I let James run around and generally tried to keep him in an area that made sense and let him pick a card. Pick the card with dogs on it. It was very cute. Said something like, "You can teach an old dog new tricks," or you know, something like that. Greeting cardsy. Very generic, but the picture was cute. And I was like, "Man, there are a lot of cards here, but they're all for like the same three things. There's like the birthday cards, there's like the whatever seasonal holiday cards, and then there's like get well soon cards. But there are a lot of other occasions

• 18:20Speaker 02

  that you might want to send someone a card for. So today, I want you guys to help me come up with some ideas for greeting cards that you could send for some of these occasions that I have put down onto my list here. And we'll just brainstorm and you know, find your ideas. It earns points or whatever. This is not birthdays and shit. This is like unusual ones, but I think that they'll be useful potentially."

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  And what I want to start with is, I want a card that you send someone when they start having their midlife crisis. This is like a "congratulations on your midlife crisis" greeting card or something. Can be anything. We live in a world where I can take any picture I want, or I can buy stock photography and get things printed. So, the world, the world is your oyster.

• 19:11Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Mark.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  On the front, right?

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  "It's not so bald."

• 19:16Speaker 02

  You open it up. Packet of hair stapled inside, like, "You can have it as a keepsake."

• 19:20Speaker 01

  So it's like, and it can pop out at you too. Be like, "Here."

• 19:23Speaker 02

  It's on like a spring. You open it and the hair's just like, "Boing, boing."

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's got a soundbite in there, but it's that guy from SpongeBob going, "My eyes! My eyes!"

• 19:38Speaker 04

  Not even want to go bald in their midlife crisis. You could just be bald or.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  It's that the crisis is not because of the bald, but that is, I feel like a lot of people will like get hair transplants because they're having a midlife crisis and they're like, ah, I can't be bald. I can't stay like this. I don't think you have to do that. I think some people look really good with a fully shaved head.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Yeah. So I had a different idea.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  So you remember like the old Captain America, so you're having a midlife crisis.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  So it doesn't have Captain America, but it says, so you're having a midlife crisis and it shows like, I don't know, a middle aged guy, maybe full head of hair, but graying or bald. And then like, I don't know, like a strapping model in the front seat of like a Corvette convertible going down like a nice gold paved road. And then you open it up and the Corvettes crashed it on fire and there's bodies on the ground. It just says expectations versus reality.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  You're going to die.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Is that a threat or?

• 20:43Speaker 04

  It just says expectations versus reality.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  It just has that. That gives a threatening aura to me.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  Yeah. Don't go through it. Don't do it.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Don't get the hair transplants or?

• 20:54Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  I see what you're going for. Little, little ominous, little threatening.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  You could kind of read that as opening. It's like, it's already over, you know, you might as well accept that, you know, the inevitability of your demise. It could happen at any moment, you know? So why even try?

• 21:09Speaker 04

  It was really dark. Why is it so dark?

• 21:11Speaker 02

  It's, hey, they're allowed to be dark. I'm looking for interesting, you know? I want the person who gets these cards to open them up and, and it's going to make them think. It's going to make them feel. It's not just like, you know, cause a lot of, I appreciate when people get you a card for an occasion, but a lot of times it's like, oh, and I got your card. Oh, no. Oh, because there's a camel. Well, thanks. And that's it. And it's like, I want this, I want this card to give a person pause. So dark is fine. Dark is allowed.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  I want to stop them dead in their tracks.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  See, I'm the kind of card shopper rather doesn't do it at all, or if it's not in the first five cards I picked, I pick one of those cards anyway.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  So you're saying you're a thoughtful card buyer?

• 21:50Speaker 04

  No. Hate gifs, hate cards.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  All right. Well, I have another one. This one, this one maybe is not so specific as what the example I want to give, but like a card with this vibe. Congrats on deleting your ex's Netflix profile.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Right? Like, it doesn't have to specifically be Netflix, but that thing, right? Like, yeah, you deleted your ex's user profile off your whatever thing, right? Like, that sort of, I want a card for that vibe. Cause I feel like that in the modern world, that's kind of a step, right? And when you're going through the process of a breakup, if you were close enough with this person that they have profiles on your whatever, deleting those, big deal.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  I've got it.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Can be a whole thing.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  All right. So you know the meme of like the guy walking with the girl and he's looking over his shoulder at the other girl passing?

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  It's that, but the, the person who's like turned, looking around has like a name tag. It's like, hi, my name is, but it's blank. So you can fill it in. So that way, whoever your ex is, you can write their name on that, like the person looking at the other person. And you open it up and it's the girl who was like mad that the dude was looking at the other guy, looking at like a Netflix account and has that name on the name tag. You write it in again and it shows them going to delete profile with like a bucket of popcorn and smiling.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  It's convoluted, but it's memes, which I like. And I feel like it does deliver the message, which I appreciate. I thought it was gonna get way worse. I think you built it up like you, there was gonna be more threats of violence or death or something.

• 23:29Speaker 04

  No, no, not everything can be violent on fire.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  I, I'm just a little off balance, but like, I, I like that. That's good. That works.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  Midlife crisis full of flames.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  Midlife crisis, basically dead soon. Breakups, casual.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  They happen. They happen.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Okay. I'm gonna combine mine with the midlife crisis as well.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  Sure, sure. That can happen.

• 23:52Speaker 04

  It happen.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  So on the, the front is like, uh, Netflix and chill, overrated, right? You open up, how about Netflix and bills that you still have to pay? Netflix and hills, which you're already over. Netflix and pills, which you now have to take. And Netflix and thrills, which you'll never have again. Congrats.

• 24:17Speaker 04

  Man, Marjorie's Netflix had killed the vibe.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Netflix and lost your will to live.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  I feel like, yeah, I feel like that's one, there is a situation for that, but maybe that's someone that you're trying to sort of send a message.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  You're trying to get them to delete your profile.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, yeah.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Or uninstall, you know, Netflix, like, stop using my account. We're never gonna get back together.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  I think those are both usable. Don't tell Mandy that was one of my categories. I am not secretly considering breaking up with her. I just, you like to have stuff in the back pocket, you know? So we're all married now, so this is, this is all theoretical.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  A lot of relationships end at like the end of the honeymoon phase. Is your midlife crisis just the end of your life's honeymoon phase?

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Maybe. I don't know. I haven't thought about it a lot, but it always struck me as like, the point where you realize, like, as you approach your midlife crisis in your, like, late 30s, whatever, 40s, whenever it hits, usually that's the point where you're, you start to sort of like, your knees start to hurt, and like, your, or your back hurts, or like, right, you're, you're like, getting old enough that you're like, oh, my body is starting to fail me, right? So I thought, I always associate it with like, you've realized you're going to die. Now you're coping with mortality by freaking the fuck out and buying a sports car, or whatever.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  But it could be, it could be more connected to, like, the honeymoon phase. Cause, I don't know, as millennials, we've had a lot of shit happen already pretty early in our lives, but maybe it's not supposed to be like that for other generations.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  Who knows, honestly? Like, there's no way to actually ever know.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  Tell us about your midlife crises in the comments.

• 25:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you're having a midlife crisis, I want to hear about it. Let me know what cool stuff you got going on. I'm, I'm, I'll be there soon, I assume.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Maybe we're already there.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  This, this one is sort of the last in a series of events for which you might want to send a card. But I feel like this one is one, it's hard to find for. And I want a card for happy last day under house arrest. Or like, happy conclusion of your court mandated house arrest. Something, uh, something to go for that, right? It's like you send, you send like, you know, a gift card to Topgolf and a card that says, congrats, you can go to Topgolf now, you know, some cool.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  I got it. Okay, so this is niche. This is. If you, I know it could be anybody, anybody gives it to you, but you just got free. The bracelet's off. You get this car is like, congrats on uh finally being free. You open it. It says now no one is watching you, but you hear that little air tag chirp. It's got a sound there. So you hear the air tag go off.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  And then once you open it, it will always go off until the battery dies.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it'll stay on. You, even if you close it again, it won't stop.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  That's right. They have to be really spread out though. Like there has to be a delay on the first chirp even. Threatening. I like that.

• 27:23Speaker 04

  Similar vibe on the front as far as like you have a person like sitting on a dark room on a chair with like maybe like the TV light flashing on their face. Just looking like sad and not clean shaven or whatever have you. And it just says, you fucked up. And when you go to open it, there's like a handcuff holding the two parts of the card together connected by a magnet. So when you open it, it breaks the magnet and the cuffs are like separated. And then it says on the inside, but you paid the price. Congrats on freedom.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  But you paid the price.

• 27:56Speaker 04

  And then it's the guy like the picture on the, on the inside is the guy like opening the door and seeing sunlight for the first time and looking like blinded by it.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  Sure, sure. That one's that, that was strangely optimistic. It sounded like it was gonna be mean, but I actually liked that. And also you can put the air tag chirp in that one so that when they file that card away somewhere, it just starts doing that at a later date.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  I'll just sell that as an add on to any card.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, that could go in anything.

• 28:25Speaker 04

  Congrats on getting married.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Beep beep beep beep beep. You guys do this, actually total sidebar, a real distractable moment here. Do you guys share your locations constantly with your spouses?

• 28:36Speaker 04

  No, I don't think I ever have.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Well, it's like an on or off thing, right?

• 28:40Speaker 01

  My location has been shared constantly for years now. I'm not even sure when uh it started, but it's just always been on. And I, I remember every once in a while like, man, my battery life sucks on my phone. Why is this so bad? Cause the GPS is. Always on with that, but I, I, I just do that all the time anyway. And I know that people probably have very strong opinions about that, but it's just, it's always been a no brainer because if I'm coming back from somewhere, you can see if I suddenly stop. You know, and there's no traffic there. Like, hmm, that might be something.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  I'm not opposed to it. I just have never set it up. And so knowing me, I never will. So if it comes on by default, that's fine.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  Honestly, I had never thought, I'm kind of like you, Mark. I had never really thought about it. I think I had been, cause I, on like iOS or whatever, Mandy and I were spouses or family or however it works. But then since we've had James, it really helps. Cause like if one of us takes him somewhere, like take him to the park or whatever, then it's like, we, uh, he has like his own air tag thing. And it's just like an extra layer of like, if, if one of us has him out, we're potentially way too busy to like send a quick text or whatever. Like if he's being completely crazy. But the other one can be like, I wonder what they're doing. Ah, they're in the car on the way home or like, oh, they're over at this part, whatever. Just like for the, that reason we, we keep that up and running.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. So it's just like always been a thing that I do.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  It's a little stalkery. Like I definitely have had times where I like, I, I looked and I was like, it's weird that I'm looking right now. I don't need to know where Mandy is, but I'll look anyway.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  I actually never looked, but like, cause well, I mean, I should, but I don't know. We're, we're from home. So where do we go?

• 30:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. I would have the most boring tracker ever. It was like, Wade's in the house. There he's still, yep. And so it goes 30 day streak.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Speaking of all of our self-imposed house arrests, one more, and I feel like this again is maybe not one that we're going to use necessarily. But this is more like a public service one. I feel like need, like it'd be valuable. I want a card for the friend zone anniversary. There are infinite number of cards for anniversaries, for dating anniversaries, for wedding anniversaries, for your parents anniversary, whatever. I think it would be polite if you have someone who is, you've, you have seriously friend zoned and maybe they don't know, maybe it's unclear, but like you know that they're, just send a card, but hey, happy friend zone anniversary.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  You know what? We're good. I appreciate you. I friend zoned you and I acknowledge that. And here's a card and maybe a Starbucks gift card or something like, you know,

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Have a coffee.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  You guys have all seen, uh, Robin Hood Men in Tights?

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  So we're going straight for the, the opening of the card is the chastity belt. And there's a ring of like keys to open up the card, but none of them work. And all it says on the card is, you tried, denied. Fuck, that's so good. Can't open the card. Damn it.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  That's so good. Every now and then a good idea pops up in here. I don't think I could get one better than that. I was working on a loose idea, but all my confidence got deflated out of me. I'm sorry. I just, I had a great idea and I had to share it. I just, I've never been friend zoned, so I don't know what this is like. I don't have any experience to pull from here. So I don't know.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  I'm drawing a real blank here. That's fine. You know what? If, if I just start talking, something will happen. And that's never failed me before. Always works. All right. Card. Color. It's color. There is color. Cosmic latte? Cosmic latte.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Stars. Shooting stars. No. Squash it.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  A line.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Brilliant. Let it flow. Wait, sta- it, it's, it's a line of people. And it says on the front, there's an arrow pointing to some guy way back here. And it's a line that goes, and then you open the card, it's the whole globe and it's like,

• 32:57Speaker 01

  and then it's me, like, you know, to, to a girl or whatever on the other side of the earth. And the whole line is like, I know you'd wait in line forever for me. Thanks for being my friend.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  Nailed it.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  Never fails. It never fails. It always works. You just start talking. You just start talking.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  Oh, when you yes and yourself for long enough, you'll eventually get there.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, Wade, this is so good. It rocked me.

• 33:30Speaker 04

  I'm sorry. That ultimate friend zone.

• 33:35Speaker 05

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• 34:07Speaker 02

  Well, I think those are really useful. And look, I'm not greedy. At watchers, listeners, if you like any of these ideas, these absolute gems that we've come up with today, you're welcome to use them. Get go on to one of those websites where you can use your own images and stuff. You can make you tweak it, could apply, you could apply it directly to your own situation. Maybe you had shared Hulu accounts instead of Netflix. Who knows? Customize it any way you might need. But I think that's where we're going to leave it. We don't want to let too much genius out all in one big rush. It'll disrupt the balance of the universe. So in no particular order, Wad, you got points for

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Snow drawing us accurately, bringing up Bitcoin mining, your expectation versus reality card, your but you paid the price card, and the chastity belt you tried denied.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  None of the keys opened.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  None of the keys opened it. Yeah, beautiful. Mark, you earned points for saying hi, boys. I got two, right?

• 35:13Speaker 04

  Oh, that's right. You got two points for that.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  It was, yeah, you got a double fare point. Uh, you got a render farm point. You got a not so bald point. You got a Netflix and pills point. You got the air tag torture point. You got a point for a line.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  And also, thanks for being my friend, with friend heavily emphasized. Leaving the final score today at a cheek-clenchingly tight, eight to seven. In favor of Mark.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Oh!

• 35:47Speaker 02

  Mark is up eight to seven. That double fair point really, really eked it out for you a little bit.

• 35:52Speaker 04

  It's fair. It's so fair.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  It's so, it's painfully fair.

• 35:56Speaker 04

  It's very painfully fair.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  It's unbelievably fair.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  It's so fair.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  It's a good thing Mark baited you into doing that.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  We just had to know how fair it, it felt so fair to both of us. We had to share it.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  Anyway, uh, wheel spin.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  I'm feeling a nice one. I'm predicting it. I win by tie.

• 36:18Speaker 04

  Three!

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Three, three, three, three, one, three, three, two.

• 36:24Speaker 04

  We split the difference!

• 36:26Speaker 01

  We're both wrong!

• 36:28Speaker 04

  Hooray!

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Uh, and I have to add a bonus point to the thingy. Fairness amplifier. If something has been made doubly fair, it shall be once again made doubly fair.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, it doubles the double?

• 36:46Speaker 02

  Well, so should it be an amplifier, or should it be a fairness inversion?

• 36:51Speaker 01

  We have an inversion. I believe we do. Wait, do we? Wait, we have something with the fairness coin I know on the thing already.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Uh, free parking. Oh, free parking. Oh, wait, was the monkey's paw going to the free parking? No, when we, when we spin the same thing, when we re-spin, we're supposed to put ones in the fair parking, I think.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Oh, is that it?

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Shit, I forgot about that. Free parking. Fair parking, free parking.

• 37:15Speaker 04

  I don't remember how, I know free parking gets points, but I don't remember how it's supposed to get points.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  We should write down what these mean.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  Lie points doubled, uh, minus one to current loser, no point, fuck you, add two spins. Oh, I forgot that was in there. That's fun. Oh, here's the add 10% chance to one man show. That's its own thing. Okay.

• 37:36Speaker 04

  Add 10, lose 7, no.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  God, we have so many that have never landed.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  I know, we have so many. Uh, worst luck is one, but that's the, the coin has not been flipped. Flip and apply to the last contentious thing.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  I think that's the one we have. I don't remember there being one for.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  I love the doubling the doubler because that could be positive or negative because if someone gets here.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, fairness amplifier. That's a good one.

• 38:01Speaker 02

  Fairness amplifier.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  The year be like, what the hell's fairness amplifier?

• 38:05Speaker 01

  You can put parentheses doubles, the doubles if, if it happened, I guess.

• 38:11Speaker 04

  It would be double no matter what, because double zero, zero, double negative, double positive.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, doubles coin flip results is what I'll, I'll put out here. Because it makes it doubly doubly doubly fair or doubly doubly unfair. Either way, it will amplify it or yeah, or doubles nothing.

• 38:28Speaker 04

  And then we don't have to respin. We just take the doubles nothing.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  So we got two spins and we got the fairness amplifier in play.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  All right. Can't wait to see point for listeners.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  Wade is up. Nope. Mark is up by one, eight to seven. Mark is winning.

• 38:42Speaker 04

  Come on, hold on to it, baby.

• 38:44Speaker 02

  Spin number one.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Sung the most.

• 38:52Speaker 04

  Did any of us sing?

• 38:53Speaker 02

  I definitely didn't sing because I was just thinking, man, my voice is a little tired from all the impressions we did.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  I don't think we sang.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  I wish I could say I sang.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  We could have. That could have come up in the greeting card stuff, but I don't think it did.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I rhymed. I don't think that counts.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  I would say respin.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can't think of a song.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Spin number one, take two. Most cursed.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  Well, I guess Wade lost. I don't know if that counts.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, you lost the coin flip. That's bad luck.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Bad luck.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Wade's expectation versus reality card idea was kind of cursed.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  I'm not going to argue against my point.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't see it going my way and I can see it leaning Wade.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, me too.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think it leans with.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  It does lean.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Plus generally Wade has a much higher average level of cursing this.

• 39:45Speaker 04

  You know, graying first, balding first, no car for four years.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  Car fell in the ocean.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  All of it was worth it for this point.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  All right, second spin. We're all tied up at eight. Please God, give one of them a point. Hosted previous episode.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  Wait, is that definitely the listener?

• 40:06Speaker 02

  No, no, you hosted. You just weren't the winner.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  It doesn't say winner. It says hosted.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  All right. Thank you, technicalities.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  Thank God it didn't fucking involve the fact that I let the listeners win an episode.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Of course, we would get the one thing that would bring that back up again. Anyway, as per usual, the wheels had some impact, you could say. Some may have affected the outcome. Mark, you end up with eight points. And Wade, if I'm counting correctly, Wade ends up with a total of nine points.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  That sounds incredibly fair.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  And if you listen to the title of the episode, which I said at the very beginning. Uh, no, there's no surprise golf rules.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  No, Wade just wins. Congratulations, Wade. Honestly, Mark, I thought you had it. That was some rough, rough luck with the wheel.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  That was rough spins, rough spins.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  That's, uh, you know what? We got some that hadn't come up before. I didn't care for them. I feel like maybe on the next constitutional one, we should get a thing where if something comes up and like we hate it, we could just delete it and be like, fuck that. Cause there are definitely some that are like, it's funny.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  I, yeah, there should be some way to delete them. Yeah. Maybe not so much as a whim, but something should.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Or like if, if it comes up twice in a row, like or twice in the same set of spins, it gets deleted or something. Cause that also has happened.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, that could happen.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  I don't know. That's, we can't do anything about it now.

• 41:46Speaker 04

  I won once because of three half points. I kinda like those.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  But, uh, yeah, anyway, uh, Mark loser's speech.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Uh, well, you know, I cannot even say that this is fair or unfair. Um, because that's already been said and it's already been won. I had a crazy good tactic in the beginning, playing off of my opponent's weaknesses. But it turns out that even if luck wasn't on his side in the beginning, it was somehow on his side at the end and everything balances out in the end, I guess. But he still didn't win last episode, so technically he's only up one more win over this, even though he's hosting twice. So honestly, he has to do twice the work for one of the wins, so I'm okay with that.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  He's a sucker, really, I think is what you're saying.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're playing him for a full universe. I know that there's a plan here.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  Uh, Wade, winner's speech. Listen, boys, it was well fought. I was really down on my luck at the start, as mentioned, but this win is my win. This counts. This is a win. And even though taking it away was what you guys were trying to do, you tried, denied.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  We didn't try to do anything. The coins are fair. The coins determined what was fair. We didn't do nothing.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  You, you just, nice win. Wait, you just, you both just tried to diminish my wins?

• 43:06Speaker 02

  And we did diminish your win very successfully.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  No, it's, your win is, is half of, half of the normal win.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  But you still have a win.

• 43:13Speaker 04

  You tried, denied. You're all six, seven and about it.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  This, this win is prorated with your previous hosting, so you basically had two half wins because of how math works.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  It's not very on fleek, boys. I win.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  I don't have to do anything to make you look bad on that one. Uh, thank you for your winner's speech, Wade. Look forward, everyone, to Wade hosting another one. And hopefully it will not be a listener-focused episode because yuck.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Uh, voice impressions, take two.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  Oh, yay, hooray. I mean, I was baiting you. You got reverse psychology.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  It'll be physical impressions.

• 43:50Speaker 04

  Now you have to sing while doing the impressions. Two sentence impression songs.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  And Dan the Piano Man comes out of the shadows behind us to start playing music that we have to sing to. We get music, Bob gets to rap. Yay, rapping, my favorite. I'm good at rapping. Anyway, thank you so much for listening. Thank you even more for watching. Make sure you follow the podcast so you know when the episodes come out, even though it's the same time every week, some of you still forget. Follow Mark, Wade and myself on our channels, MarkBlairLord, Mini777, Mini7777, and Myskirm. That's it. Thanks so much for being here. Come back for the next one, or I'm sure Wade will not torture us at all. Baldonk coming at you. Until that joyous day, podcast out.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  Watch new episodes on Spotify.