Dimorphous Expression w/ Are You Garbage?

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: SimpliSafe, Kachava, Zocdoc, ShipStation & Cash App • SimpliSafe: now, our listeners can save 50% on a SimpliSafe home security system at https://SimpliSafe.com/BADFRIENDS. • Kachava: Go to https://kachava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your next order. • Zocdoc: Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BADFRIENDS to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. • ShipStation: Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/badfriends. • Cash App: Download Cash App* Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/hhm54e0a #CashAppPod YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Triangle of Face Sadness 5:00 Captain Beefheart 10:00 Bombing In Front of Celebrities 15:00 3 Cartwheels 20:00 You Forgot My Birthday? 25:00 Hurricane Hook Ups 30:00 We're Getting Raptured 35:00 Dimorphous Expression 40:00 Pier 11 45:00 Are You Garbage? 50:00 Small Piece 55:00 Denied at Dixie 1:00:00 Bottom Bunk Guy 1:05:00 Bad Gigs 1:10:00 Playing the Field 1:15:00 Finding Our Biological Parents More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ *As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Andrew Santino?

  Hey, bad friends. Come see me live. I am running around the country. I'm gonna be in San Francisco at the Punch Line at the end of October, Halloween weekend. Then I'm in Brea. Brea, come out and see me. Brea, California, November. Tempe Improv, returning to Arizona State. I'm in Hammond, Indiana in November around Thanksgiving. Windsor, Ontario, Canada. Bethlehem, PA. Hanover, Maryland. Atlantic City, New Jersey. And then Valley Center with the Harrah's down there in Southern California by San Diego. And then also Canyonville, Oregon in February. And then finally, Wynn Casino. I'm at the Wynn in Las Vegas in March. Come see me at the Wynn in Las Vegas, baby. Andrew Santino dot com for those tickets. Andrew Santino dot com.

• 1:09Speaker 00

  You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends.

• 1:22Andrew Santino?

  I went to the doctor last night.

• 1:23Bobby Lee?

  I know. What happened, though?

• 1:23Andrew Santino?

  Two nights ago.

• 1:24Bobby Lee?

  Well, I saw it close up.

• 1:25Andrew Santino?

  Was your wife beating you? Are you OK? Blink twice?

• 1:30Andrew Santino?

  Of all people that talk about their wife beating them.

• 1:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You're the biggest I've ever met.

• 1:36Andrew Santino?

  You're king.

• 1:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You get pegged every night.

• 1:38Andrew Santino?

  Because I want to. No.

• 1:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, dude.

• 1:42Andrew Santino?

  That's what they all say.

• 1:43Bobby Lee?

  It's sexual assault every night, dude.

• 1:45Andrew Santino?

  No, you know what it is?

• 1:46Bobby Lee?

  A tear.

• 1:46Andrew Santino?

  So we guessed what this was in my eye. My eye got worse. It's called blepharitis. Blepharitis.

• 1:52Bobby Lee?

  How do you get it?

• 1:53Andrew Santino?

  Infection of the gland within the eye. Could have been like dirt or whatever got up in my eye.

• 1:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:57Andrew Santino?

  And then. Bobby touch you. Bobby touch you. He's on one today. You want to fight today?

• 2:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I did. You're.

• 2:03Andrew Santino?

  I missed it.

• 2:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. He said something to me earlier. I had to physically assault him.

• 2:06Andrew Santino?

  What'd he say?

• 2:07Bobby Lee?

  It was something about.

• 2:08Andrew Santino?

  Ah.

• 2:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:09Andrew Santino?

  You've got a lot of nerve, dude.

• 2:10Bobby Lee?

  You got a lot of nerve, dude.

• 2:11Andrew Santino?

  I went into the urgent care. Urgent care took two, no less than two and a half, three hours to even get in. And the woman gets in and goes, uh, who poached you in the eye?

• 2:19Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 2:20Andrew Santino?

  And I said, "Life." And she goes, "Oh, that's a good one." And she goes, "This looks infected. It actually looks pretty bad." Um, we should get this, uh, medicate here. This is the worst part when you go to a doctor. She goes, "We're gonna get you eye drops. You have to do two every four hours, two in your eye, right? And antibiotics, just general amoxicillin or whatever."

• 2:37Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 2:37Andrew Santino?

  I go, "Great, this should knock it right out, right?" Like, I've had styes or whatever before. She goes, "Yeah, we don't want it to spread." And I was like,

• 2:45Andrew Santino?

  "Why would you say that?" She's like, "Well, if it spreads, it can go to your brain."

• 2:48Bobby Lee?

  Whoa!

• 2:49Andrew Santino?

  And you can die.

• 2:50Bobby Lee?

  Whoa! You know what they say too? Is if you, th- th- th- this triangle of your face, when you get acne, and if you pop it, you could die too.

• 2:58Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 2:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 2:59Andrew Santino?

  Where?

• 3:00Bobby Lee?

  It's called the triangle of face sadness.

• 3:01Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I just saw that movie.

• 3:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, I'm saying that they're saying that if you pop the shit,

• 3:08Andrew Santino?

  Who is "they"?

• 3:09Bobby Lee?

  They? The internet, dude.

• 3:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the internet.

• 3:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, my doctor Reddit. Doctor Reddit said this. No.

• 3:14Andrew Santino?

  It, what is the?

• 3:14Bobby Lee?

  What would I just say? Danger triangle face!

• 3:17Andrew Santino?

  You shouldn't pop a pimple on the danger triangle on your nose.

• 3:20Bobby Lee?

  On my nose? Why?

• 3:21Andrew Santino?

  Uh, why is it so dangerous? Think of the small segment of your face as the direct line to your brain. So, through the sinus, blood's drained from your brain, infection in the di- in the danger triangle. Like, pick from a pimple, nose piercing gone wrong. Uh, possibility of a facial infection to become an infection that impacts the rest of your body. Can it really kill you? Don't panic. You're probably not gonna die from popping a pimple on your nose, but technically speaking, it's impossible. It's possible.

• 3:44Bobby Lee?

  It's possible technically!

• 3:45Andrew Santino?

  Brain, you could get a brain abscess, brain infection. Wow, this is real. Okay, so, this thing in my eye, though, she was like, "Yeah, no, it's okay." But I mean, you know, could, if it spreads to your brain, you could die. And I was like, "I, what? Why would you say that?"

• 3:59Bobby Lee?

  Well, the possibilities.

• 4:00Andrew Santino?

  I didn't wanna know. Doctors aren't supposed to give you the possibilities.

• 4:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:04Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 4:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm the doctor.

• 4:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, hey, uh, Dr. Lee, yes?

• 4:09Bobby Lee?

  Hello?

• 4:10Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 4:11Bobby Lee?

  Your eye, we looked at your eye?

• 4:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what happened with my eye?

• 4:14Bobby Lee?

  You could die.

• 4:15Andrew Santino?

  I, my eye, I could die?

• 4:16Bobby Lee?

  You could die, you could also go blind.

• 4:17Andrew Santino?

  From blepharitis?

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Freddie Mercury?

• 4:20Andrew Santino?

  That's what he had?

• 4:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he had some, something thing in his eye?

• 4:23Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 4:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:24Andrew Santino?

  Why did I go to a doctor behind this gas station?

• 4:26Bobby Lee?

  Listen to me, I'm a doctor.

• 4:27Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 4:27Bobby Lee?

  All right?

• 4:28Andrew Santino?

  You're Mr. Doctor?

• 4:28Bobby Lee?

  Chevron.

• 4:29Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Dr. Chevron.

• 4:30Bobby Lee?

  Welcome to my Chevron station.

• 4:32Andrew Santino?

  Doctor Chevron.

• 4:33Bobby Lee?

  Office.

• 4:34Andrew Santino?

  Oh, thank you.

• 4:35Bobby Lee?

  What race do you think that was?

• 4:36Andrew Santino?

  Sudanese.

• 4:39Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 4:40Bobby Lee?

  What? What do you think?

• 4:41Andrew Santino?

  Bangladesh.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, East Ethiopia.

• 4:43Andrew Santino?

  Oh, East Ethiopia.

• 4:44Bobby Lee?

  I was doing East Ethiopia, dude. Yeah, yeah.

• 4:46Andrew Santino?

  Look up gas station robberies now in Sherman Oaks. Big thing in the valley here, they're robbing people at gas stations. I'm not going anymore. I'm not getting gas. I'm just running out and then I call AAA. They gun butted that guy. Some guy had like a Rolex or something on and they gun butted him. Then it just happened another week ago, some guy, he got out of his car, gun butted him. They're just robbing people at gas stations.

• 5:07Bobby Lee?

  What's a gun butt?

• 5:09Andrew Santino?

  What's a gun butt?

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 5:12Andrew Santino?

  They hit that, they hit you in the face with it.

• 5:13Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the butt of the gun.

• 5:15Andrew Santino?

  And let me say this to a thief.

• 5:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Andrew Santino?

  Just shoot me. Don't gun butt me in the head. I don't want to fucking, just kill me. Shoot me, baby.

• 5:25Bobby Lee?

  A gun butts?

• 5:27Andrew Santino?

  Knock you out. The butt of a gun is heavy. They're hitting you in the face with a gun.

• 5:30Bobby Lee?

  And what are they taking, your car?

• 5:31Andrew Santino?

  Anything. They've taken car, jewelry, clothes, cash, clothes. They left a man naked in Van Nuys.

• 5:36Bobby Lee?

  That's why when I pump gas?

• 5:38Andrew Santino?

  Don't pump gas.

• 5:39Bobby Lee?

  I have a lighter.

• 5:40Andrew Santino?

  You do.

• 5:41Bobby Lee?

  And I have this fucking thing, dude, right? Gun butt me, dude. Alright? You, Vietnam monk. Remember those Buddhist monks in Vietnam? That's what's gonna happen.

• 5:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, light the whole place on.

• 5:50Bobby Lee?

  You're gonna light, you're gonna be lit on fire, dog. And also, there's nothing to steal except for my wallet.

• 5:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Or your car, they can steal your car. That's Bobby. Gun butt me, dog.

• 6:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm also, dude.

• 6:02Andrew Santino?

  You know what's so awful? What if that was an accident? He was just trying to get gas for that guy's car that ran out?

• 6:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:08Andrew Santino?

  Gas? Fuck!

• 6:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, my question is, is that like, you know, you know why they did that?

• 6:12Andrew Santino?

  It was for, well, it was a peaceful protest, right?

• 6:15Bobby Lee?

  No, they're protesting the oppressive Saigon regime. It's a protest, right? Whatever happened to just making a sign?

• 6:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Like protest? That's a little too far for me.

• 6:26Andrew Santino?

  Make a sign.

• 6:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, like stop Buddhist hate. That'd be me. All the people are lighting their stuff so far, I stop Buddhist hate right here.

• 6:34Bobby Lee?

  With the sign. Like that's, don't you think that's extreme?

• 6:36Andrew Santino?

  That's, don't, do I think that's just, yeah, dude, a little bit. The guy lit himself on fire.

• 6:40Bobby Lee?

  Like I'm a Vietnamese monk, you're Vietnamese monk, right?

• 6:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Bobby Lee?

  And go, we got to oppress this Saigon regime. What do you think we should do, Tony?

• 6:47Andrew Santino?

  Hmm, yell in the street?

• 6:49Bobby Lee?

  No, no, that's too, too, they're not gonna do much.

• 6:52Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 6:53Bobby Lee?

  What else do you think we should do?

• 6:54Andrew Santino?

  Get our friends together to bond together to create a community of people that...

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  I have an idea.

• 6:59Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 7:00Bobby Lee?

  We should last half a fight.

• 7:01Andrew Santino?

  No! No, extreme forms of protest encompass violent tactics, terrorism, welfare, vandalism, extreme non-violent.

• 7:09Bobby Lee?

  Great album cover, though. Rage Against the Machine.

• 7:11Andrew Santino?

  That was one of the greatest.

• 7:13Bobby Lee?

  Great album.

• 7:13Andrew Santino?

  They got a lot of flack for that. Didn't they get a lot of flack for that? Album covers that got flack. You know what? Interesting topic, because, Mccone, you and I were talking the other day about Pusha T's famous album with a picture of Whitney Houston's dying hotel room. Daytona. Did you ever see this?

• 7:30Bobby Lee?

  No, I want to see it.

• 7:30Andrew Santino?

  They had a photo on the cover of this wonderful album by Pusha T, and that is the photograph of Whitney Houston's hotel room when she was found dead.

• 7:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god, dude.

• 7:42Andrew Santino?

  And there's bottles of whiskey and vodka, and then, whenever there's tinfoil, you know tinfoil is no good.

• 7:49Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 7:50Andrew Santino?

  People smoke crack out of tinfoil.

• 7:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay. I put my bubble gum in there.

• 7:54Andrew Santino?

  You do?

• 7:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, don't make a... You know what, Andrew? Don't make assumptions.

• 7:58Andrew Santino?

  You're right, I'm a bad detective.

• 7:59Bobby Lee?

  The tinfoil is there for various reasons.

• 8:01Andrew Santino?

  You said I was a good detective.

• 8:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:03Andrew Santino?

  Oh, The Beatles, Yesterday and Today, right, another controversial album cover. Do you know why this was controversial?

• 8:08Bobby Lee?

  Because there's babies' heads and stuff?

• 8:10Andrew Santino?

  No, because look who's in the back. It's three in the front and one in the back.

• 8:15Bobby Lee?

  Ah.

• 8:16Andrew Santino?

  A little rude. A little rude. Very odd to put him in the back, by the way.

• 8:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  Why'd they do that? Aesthetics, composition.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  Aesthetics, composition.

• 8:26Bobby Lee?

  What's your favorite album?

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Aesthetics, composition. Aesthetics, composition.

• 8:30Andrew Santino?

  What's my favorite album of all time?

• 8:32Bobby Lee?

  No album cover.

• 8:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 8:34Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you mine.

• 8:35Andrew Santino?

  Go.

• 8:36Bobby Lee?

  Captain Beefheart, Trout Mask Replica.

• 8:40Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 8:41Bobby Lee?

  Look it up, dude.

• 8:43Andrew Santino?

  Captain Beefheart, Trout Mask Replica.

• 8:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:47Andrew Santino?

  Sounds like one of those Mad Libs. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's pretty cool.

• 8:55Bobby Lee?

  I love that one.

• 8:56Andrew Santino?

  That's good. I was gonna give you something like Blood Sugar Sex Magic.

• 8:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:00Andrew Santino?

  I think I liked Blood Sugar Sex Magic from Chili Peppers so much because it was also like a time in my youth. It was like something about the time of like the sexiness of the album cover. Well, I don't know why I liked it so much as a kid, but I love that.

• 9:15Andrew Santino?

  It's like lick, they're all tongue licking of, of like, I don't know why I thought that was badass. No, I liked Mother's Milk because there was a titty on it. That one was great, too. Same thing, another Chili Peppers. Yeah, dude. That was a poster. You go over to, you go over to some kid's house named Ryan and he was like, "She my new fucking poster, dude."

• 9:37Bobby Lee?

  Can I tell you this?

• 9:37Andrew Santino?

  My mom's livid about it, dude. My dad was like, "Hang it up."

• 9:41Bobby Lee?

  Can I tell you what just happened with me and Anthony Kiedis?

• 9:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 9:45Bobby Lee?

  So, um, I've never talked about this, though. Um, for some reason, this is 20 years ago. Kiedis, Chris Rock was in the main room and Kiedis saw me.

• 9:55Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 9:56Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 9:56Andrew Santino?

  Cool.

• 9:57Bobby Lee?

  And then Kiedis was, came up to me and goes, "Oh, you're really funny, this and that," right? So then Kiedis would go around town just to watch my sets, right?

• 10:05Andrew Santino?

  Like following you?

• 10:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:06Andrew Santino?

  Same night or many nights?

• 10:07Bobby Lee?

  No, just throughout the months.

• 10:09Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 10:10Bobby Lee?

  We're being very friendly. I got his number, the whole thing, right? And then, and then all of a sudden, one day, I do this show in, at, at El Cid.

• 10:17Andrew Santino?

  I used to love El Cid.

• 10:18Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 10:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:19Bobby Lee?

  He brought the whole band out there.

• 10:22Andrew Santino?

  To come see you?

• 10:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:23Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 10:23Bobby Lee?

  They were in the front row. I bombed so hard.

• 10:27Andrew Santino?

  Is that there? Is that?

• 10:28Bobby Lee?

  No, no, this is way, years later. I bombed so hard that he didn't talk to me for like 10 years after that, right? No, I'm not kidding you. It was night and day. Like, I ate it that hard.

• 10:40Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 10:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, it was, I still remember the show. I remember their faces. There was nothing I could do. I didn't have the skill set to dig me out of this hole, okay?

• 10:48Andrew Santino?

  Damn.

• 10:49Bobby Lee?

  And then he just recently goes, because, you know, he has a, um, a, a, a, um, music observatory, like, thing that he does with Flea.

• 10:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Bobby Lee?

  And they do a, um, a yearly, um, benefit show. And they asked me to host it. I can't because of Irvine. And I was, I almost canceled Irvine to do it.

• 11:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's.

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  Would you?

• 11:08Andrew Santino?

  No. Host a benefit show?

• 11:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna tank at that, too. He's gonna see you tank 20 years. Benefit shows suck.

• 11:15Bobby Lee?

  You're right.

• 11:15Andrew Santino?

  They're so hard to do well at.

• 11:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:17Andrew Santino?

  Because people are kind of uncomfortable and they're there like and they're stiff and they're dressed up. It's not like a relaxed atmosphere. I mean, we like doing benefits, but stand-up, no. I'd rather just show up, give you money and be a part of the thing.

• 11:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you would have done it if you didn't have something to do.

• 11:30Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, man. I don't like doing those things. They give me the-

• 11:32Bobby Lee?

  You bomb, you bomb hard.

• 11:33Andrew Santino?

  You bomb. You eat shit at those things.

• 11:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:35Andrew Santino?

  Nobody wants stand-up at a ben- they're like, "We're raising money for sick kids, um, who have cancer of the brain." Ladies and gentlemen, Bobby Lee. It's fucking impossible to do well. You bomb, I can't, I just, it's bad.

• 11:47Bobby Lee?

  What's your opening line? "What's up, everybody? What's eating you?"

• 11:53Andrew Santino?

  God, dude. Let me tell you guys what's on my-

• 11:55Bobby Lee?

  You gotta head, yeah, yeah.

• 11:57Andrew Santino?

  Step right on that.

• 12:00Andrew Santino?

  Step right on it!

• 12:01Bobby Lee?

  What was it? What was it?

• 12:02Andrew Santino?

  I said, "I want to tell you guys what's on my mind."

• 12:06Andrew Santino?

  God.

• 12:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck.

• 12:08Andrew Santino?

  After every punchline, I go, "Think about it."

• 12:12Andrew Santino?

  Think about it.

• 12:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:14Andrew Santino?

  All right. Rein it in.

• 12:15Bobby Lee?

  Let's rein it in, yeah.

• 12:15Andrew Santino?

  By the way, after, after you ate shit, he made Stadium Arcadium, so was that your fault?

• 12:20Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 12:22Andrew Santino?

  Sorry, dude.

• 12:23Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever bombed in front of like a, someone that you didn't want to bomb in front of?

• 12:26Andrew Santino?

  Famous people?

• 12:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:28Andrew Santino?

  I mean, I bombed in front of Rock pretty, pretty, pretty horrifically at the store in the OR, and I think from that, he's never really taken me serious because he sat in the bucket seats. He was staying at the hotel nearby, came over. Sometimes he stays in LA and just doesn't do a spot.

• 12:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he'll just come by. He's so nice.

• 12:42Andrew Santino?

  He was in the bucket seats and he watched me, I mean, torrential. It was like, it wa- it, it, it was so fucking bad.

• 12:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:52Andrew Santino?

  And I brought on Fahim or someone afterwards, and I'm sure Fahim fucking crushed because he always does. And I just was working out new shit in the OR, and it was late night, dude.

• 13:00Bobby Lee?

  Did you, wait, did you know he was there?

• 13:01Andrew Santino?

  I saw him.

• 13:02Bobby Lee?

  So before you knew he was there?

• 13:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it drove me nuts.

• 13:05Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, this is what you do then, dude.

• 13:06Andrew Santino?

  He sat down and I was like, "Fuck."

• 13:08Bobby Lee?

  Then you go, "I have to kill." Don't do the new stuff. "I have to kill."

• 13:12Andrew Santino?

  It was 11:45. It was like a late spot and I was like, "Fuck it."

• 13:15Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  I was just trying new shit.

• 13:17Bobby Lee?

  Bobby, are there famous people every time you perform? What do you mean? Is that why you don't do new material?

• 13:23Andrew Santino?

  Oh, this guy.

• 13:24Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 13:25Andrew Santino?

  Is he looking for a fight, dude?

• 13:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:28Andrew Santino?

  Give it to him.

• 13:29Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 13:30Andrew Santino?

  Give it to him.

• 13:30Bobby Lee?

  I have some things I could say, but...

• 13:32Andrew Santino?

  Say it.

• 13:32Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not gonna say it.

• 13:33Andrew Santino?

  Say it.

• 13:34Bobby Lee?

  It's dark stuff. I know some dark stuff. And I'm not gonna do it. Because you like to go personal.

• 13:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he really does, Dick.

• 13:41Bobby Lee?

  I have so many new jokes. I know, it is good. I told you that last time you left. Why would you say the joke? Because you didn't roll down the window or acknowledge me.

• 13:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 13:49Bobby Lee?

  My point being is this, okay? That I'm doing everything I can to come up with new stuff. I'm taking risks onstage. And for Mccone to say that joke again...

• 13:59Andrew Santino?

  Rude.

• 13:59Bobby Lee?

  It's really hurtful and rude.

• 14:00Andrew Santino?

  You're talking to one of the top 25 working comics today, okay?

• 14:03Bobby Lee?

  I just... One hundred.

• 14:04Andrew Santino?

  Top of 25.

• 14:05Bobby Lee?

  Thousand.

• 14:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we saw this whole thing, and let me clear the air real fast. Let me say something genuine about this.

• 14:14Andrew Santino?

  Theo Von is someone we've known for a long, long time.

• 14:16Bobby Lee?

  I can't right now.

• 14:19Andrew Santino?

  I just want to say my piece. I hope he's okay.

• 14:22Bobby Lee?

  I just texted him. He texted me yesterday.

• 14:23Andrew Santino?

  I know, I texted him too, but I'm saying like... I texted him. That doesn't mean shit. He's going through something very deep. Onstage, you know, that clip is gross of him saying, "I'm trying not to take my own life." And I think people think that was like a bit. And he's really in a dark place, so we wish him the greatest. And I was texting with a lot of other comics, because I think it's a... Yo, I know there's a comedy show, I'll wrap it up real fast. I'm just saying, I think people don't know... I know, I think people don't know that we... Some of us suffer from actual, real, clinical shit. And I have clinical depression. I have very dark days. You guys have lived through my shit. He's got it very bad. I'm sorry, but I think fucking people just think you're a clown and you're like, "You're not a human." Well, he's a fucking human.

• 15:05Andrew Santino?

  So, my heart goes out to the guy, because I know he's struggling a lot. So, we love him. I really do. Sorry. Sorry to be fucking honest for three seconds on the show.

• 15:16Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 15:17Andrew Santino?

  What do you want to do? Another Filipino accent? Huh?

• 15:21Bobby Lee?

  East Ethiopian.

• 15:25Bobby Lee?

  Welcome to Chevron, whatever.

• 15:28Andrew Santino?

  My Chevron, Dr. Chevron.

• 15:29Bobby Lee?

  I'll just say my, okay, so, um, we, the reason why I love Theo so much is that I have the same exact sensitivities and vulnerabilities as he has. We have the same kind of issues.

• 15:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 15:42Bobby Lee?

  Mentally, you know, um, and when I see, when I saw that clip.

• 15:49Andrew Santino?

  It was heartbreaking.

• 15:50Bobby Lee?

  It was so heartbreaking because I understood where he was at and I, um, I reached out to him and I, all I can do as a friend is say, I'm here 24/7, I'm just available and, um, I'm really concerned for him. I mean, I, you know, he, you know, he seems to be fine, but I'm still very concerned for him.

• 16:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's, it's a, it's a very difficult thing to, to survive mental health issues in this kind of environment because it's so fucking hostile out there.

• 16:22Andrew Santino?

  Particularly when it's wrapped in fame and success. I know people are like, cry me a river, rich guy, but like, he's very successful and he's so famous and that does a thing to you. It's like inundation of attention and so it, it, it, it really distorts your sensibility sometimes when you're as, you know, kind of popular and wanted and everyone's around you and they want something, they need something and I don't think people understand that and they never, and that's okay.

• 16:44Bobby Lee?

  Also, people don't understand that he is such a kind, soft, sensitive kind of a guy.

• 16:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he has to, but we all put on.

• 16:52Bobby Lee?

  He's so mindful about his feelings and about people around him. He's just a, I just care so much about him and, um, you read things about your friends and, and you just want to say, you got it wrong, buddy, you know? It's like not him, you know, and it's like, people say things about me, you, this and that, and I, I get it, you know? It's, and it's just a double edged sword.

• 17:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and you love swords.

• 17:20Bobby Lee?

  I love swords, yes.

• 17:21Andrew Santino?

  You're a big sword.

• 17:22Bobby Lee?

  I'm a sword guy, katanas especially.

• 17:24Andrew Santino?

  I did get on a big kick of watching Japanese guys sharpen swords enough to drop a blade through a pineapple. I sat for hours on the internet watching this guy sharpen a blade so he could drop it clean through a pineapple.

• 17:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I feel like I can do that.

• 17:37Andrew Santino?

  No, you fucking can't.

• 17:38Bobby Lee?

  Drop a sword onto a pineapple?

• 17:39Andrew Santino?

  Patience, you have the patience to shave that to a fine point. You do not have that.

• 17:43Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean even by you saying this?

• 17:46Andrew Santino?

  He literally would hold the handle and hold the blade and then drop the blade and hold the handle with his fingertips.

• 17:50Bobby Lee?

  You can edit!

• 17:51Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't edit!

• 17:52Bobby Lee?

  You can edit! You can do it 10,000 times until you get it. I can do a cartwheel.

• 17:59Bobby Lee?

  I could do a cartwheel.

• 18:00Andrew Santino?

  Bicycle. Do one.

• 18:02Bobby Lee?

  What is a cartwheel? Show me and I'll do it.

• 18:04Andrew Santino?

  Entrance on Letterman, do it. That's one of my favorite entrances of all time. Chris Farley, everybody. Look at him. Yes. Look at how perfect. It's so-

• 18:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I can't do that one. That was insane.

• 18:16Andrew Santino?

  By the way, he tried to do three. Watch, go back. He bailed on the third.

• 18:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:20Andrew Santino?

  God, this guy was the king of fucking comedy. Go all the way back, go all the way back, go all the way back so we can see it from fresh.

• 18:27Andrew Santino?

  One, two, watch, go three, and then he's like, "Oh shit." God, Farley's the man.

• 18:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, dude. He was so good. I know. He was so good.

• 18:39Andrew Santino?

  Going over to Spade's house and seeing that jacket, the fat guy in a little coat jacket.

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, oh my god.

• 18:43Andrew Santino?

  And then he falls off the back of the chair. I mean, that jacket I told Spade, I was like, "I know you'd never sell that." But I mean, good god, I'd pay so much money to-

• 18:52Bobby Lee?

  If he was still alive, we would probably know him. Do you think or not?

• 18:55Andrew Santino?

  I don't know if he'd know us, but I mean, if he was still alive, he'd be the most famous comedian in the world.

• 19:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, he would still probably, he could be at Spade's house one day and you could say hi.

• 19:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's how we could see him, at Spade's house. But also, he probably wouldn't...

• 19:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 19:10Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 19:10Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, I just, you know, when you're in that, what he was, as big as he was and as much as he was in it, it was almost like, what's the other side of that look like when he gets clean? You know, you probably go away from comedy. You get clean and you level out.

• 19:22Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 19:22Andrew Santino?

  Because it was so much-

• 19:23Bobby Lee?

  He'd be on Ozempic, no?

• 19:25Andrew Santino?

  100%.

• 19:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:26Andrew Santino?

  You and him would be doing Oz commercials together.

• 19:30Andrew Santino?

  Ozempic, look at the lineup. Tommy Boy, Beverly Hills Ninja, Black Sheep, Coneheads, Almost Heroes, Wayne's World, Airheads, Wayne's World 2. God, dude, the guy was literally just getting started. And, as we know, Shrek, the original voice of Shrek, we talked about it on the show before.

• 19:44Bobby Lee?

  Also, he didn't do, because at one point, you tried to go serious. He didn't do it like a serious role.

• 19:50Andrew Santino?

  Uh, no, the only role that-

• 19:51Bobby Lee?

  Eventually he would have, you know what I mean?

• 19:53Andrew Santino?

  Totally.

• 19:53Bobby Lee?

  Like, "The Whale 2."

• 19:57Bobby Lee?

  "Super Whale." "The Blue Whale."

• 20:04Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 20:04Andrew Santino?

  Okay. God rest the dead.

• 20:08Bobby Lee?

  I'm sorry, that was mean.

• 20:08Andrew Santino?

  God.

• 20:09Bobby Lee?

  What? Too soon?

• 20:11Andrew Santino?

  No, it was good.

• 20:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 20:12Andrew Santino?

  But even like John Candy did JFK. He was great in that.

• 20:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 20:16Andrew Santino?

  John Candy showed moments of brilliance in every comedic role, but he did serious stuff all the time. The difference was Farley had soft and fun, sweet moments. Nothing like Candy. Candy in Uncle Buck, Candy in Planes, Trains, Candy in fucking, Candy in Home Alone.

• 20:34Andrew Santino?

  Dude, the guy, he showed moments of like unbelievable, cool runnings. A movie that was such a wacky, he was sweet in that.

• 20:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:44Andrew Santino?

  One of the greatest.

• 20:45Bobby Lee?

  One of the greatest.

• 20:46Andrew Santino?

  One of the greatest. Him, John Candy, John Goodman to me, were like when I was a kid, were two of like the coolest, funny guys. And Goodman wasn't your traditional comedic actor, but he was so funny.

• 20:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:57Andrew Santino?

  Like King Ralph is one of the best movies I think I've ever seen. Conceptually, I don't know why we haven't done that again. Why haven't we done King Ralph again? Where a fucking, regular Midwest, like, blue collar guy inherits the keys to the royal kingdom. Isn't that a genius concept? Your, your great uncle left you the keys to the kingdom.

• 21:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 21:18Andrew Santino?

  Is that not even listed on his filmography? King Ralph.

• 21:20Bobby Lee?

  I remember as a kid watching Stripes. I know he wasn't in that, but those movies.

• 21:25Andrew Santino?

  This movie was so good.

• 21:26Bobby Lee?

  Which one?

• 21:26Andrew Santino?

  King Ralph.

• 21:27Bobby Lee?

  I never saw King Ralph.

• 21:28Andrew Santino?

  Oh dude, it's so fucking good.

• 21:30Bobby Lee?

  Who's in it?

• 21:34Andrew Santino?

  John Goodman.

• 21:35Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 21:36Andrew Santino?

  John Goodman, Peter.

• 21:36Bobby Lee?

  We went from, how do, how do we go from Candy to Goodman?

• 21:38Andrew Santino?

  I said these two guys were kinda comedic heroes when I was a kid.

• 21:41Bobby Lee?

  I don't remember, I didn't see that transition.

• 21:42Andrew Santino?

  I didn't even listen to a word I'm saying.

• 21:44Bobby Lee?

  I was trying to think, no, I'll tell, can I tell you why? I'll tell you what just happened.

• 21:48Andrew Santino?

  You disconnected.

• 21:49Bobby Lee?

  I just, not only did I disconnect.

• 21:50Andrew Santino?

  Somebody picked up the phone and the internet cut out.

• 21:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Andrew Santino?

  Mom, I'm on the fucking, mom!

• 21:55Bobby Lee?

  I was trying to think of the movie Stripes. So while you were talking about the whole thing about Goodman, I was like not even listening. I was like, what is that movie?

• 22:02Andrew Santino?

  You never listen to me.

• 22:04Bobby Lee?

  Of course I do. We go bing bang, bing bang, bing.

• 22:06Andrew Santino?

  When's my birthday?

• 22:07Bobby Lee?

  October 6th.

• 22:09Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 22:11Andrew Santino?

  Don't look at your phone.

• 22:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not October 6th?

• 22:14Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 22:16Bobby Lee?

  It's gotta be October 6th, dude.

• 22:17Andrew Santino?

  It's not.

• 22:17Bobby Lee?

  October 16th, fuck! 10 days, but I knew it was 6 in it.

• 22:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that was true.

• 22:23Bobby Lee?

  October 16th. Are you upset I didn't know?

• 22:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 22:27Bobby Lee?

  Simply Safe. Oh my god.

• 22:29Andrew Santino?

  Simply Safe is real security that stops crime before it starts.

• 22:32Bobby Lee?

  So you, you, you gave me Simply Safe.

• 22:33Andrew Santino?

  I did. We helped you install it at the house.

• 22:35Bobby Lee?

  You installed it, right? And I have a couple of Filipinos living at the house.

• 22:38Andrew Santino?

  You have too many Filipinos at the house.

• 22:40Bobby Lee?

  And seven, and seven animals, right? And now, I feel completely safe.

• 22:43Andrew Santino?

  Because you're, you, you, you guys, you gotta know, if you wanna trust something, you gotta trust Simply Safe to keep your home, family, property, whatever it is, important, safe, that's why you need Simply Safe. Like Bobby, he's got cameras, he's got monitors now, he's got motion detectors.

• 22:56Bobby Lee?

  It's a game changer!

• 22:57Andrew Santino?

  It's a game changer.

• 22:58Bobby Lee?

  The agents take action while the intruder is still inside the house, man.

• 23:01Andrew Santino?

  That's right. They're there for you when they're there.

• 23:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:04Andrew Santino?

  For you.

• 23:05Bobby Lee?

  There's no long-term contracts either, or hidden freeze. You can cancel at any time.

• 23:09Andrew Santino?

  Cancel at any time.

• 23:10Bobby Lee?

  Named best home security systems by the US News and World Report for five years running. And a 60-day, 60-day money guarantee, so you can try it and see the difference for yourself.

• 23:20Andrew Santino?

  That's right. Right now, our listeners can save 50% on a Simply Safe home security system at simplisafe.com/badfriends.

• 23:26Bobby Lee?

  That's simplisafe.com/badfriends.

• 23:28Andrew Santino?

  There's no safe like Simply Safe.

• 23:31Bobby Lee?

  Kachava! You know what? When I want nourishment, and I want something pleasant in my mouth, I go to Kachava. I'll tell you why.

• 23:38Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  25 grams, grams of 100% plant-based protein.

• 23:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 23:43Bobby Lee?

  Five indulgent flavors. They're all good. Chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, and coconut acai.

• 23:48Andrew Santino?

  Mmm. They also got 26 vitamins and minerals, 6 grams of fiber, 85+ superfoods, nutrients, and plant-based ingredients. I'm telling you, Kachava has changed Bobby's life, uh, because it is delicious.

• 23:59Bobby Lee?

  I love it.

• 24:00Andrew Santino?

  In two scoops, you get so much more than you could ever get from any of that other crap you're putting in your body. Energy drinks are a drain. Stop consuming them, okay? You can try Kachava risk-free with their Love It Guarantee. There's thousands of, of reviews that agree. If you're thinking about adding more plant-based protein to your diet, this is a fantastic way to nourish your body. You can try Kachava risk-free, which is the best part about it. And Bobby got me into it because I am not a fan of artificial, artificial flavors. I hate them, okay? Or colors or sweeteners. I don't like GMO. Get it out of here! No soy, no animal, no gluten, and no preservatives. Fuel your daily adventures with Kachava. Go to kachava.com and use the code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your next order.

• 24:41Bobby Lee?

  That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com, code BADFRIENDS for 15% off.

• 24:48Andrew Santino?

  Zocdoc.

• 24:49Bobby Lee?

  Your eye.

• 24:50Andrew Santino?

  Look at my eye. By the way, I use Zocdoc.

• 24:51Bobby Lee?

  What did we do?

• 24:52Andrew Santino?

  We gotta get on Zocdoc and I did it to get a new doctor to help out my eye.

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  And now your eye is getting better.

• 24:56Andrew Santino?

  It's getting a little bit better. Still looks weird, but it's getting better because Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

• 25:04Bobby Lee?

  With Zocdoc, you can book in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and more.

• 25:13Andrew Santino?

  You know, I've used Zocdoc, which is a big thing for me because I moved to a new neighborhood. I told you this. And now even more than ever, had to go back to a doctor, had to get my eyeball checked out, make sure my statin levels were good. And you can filter on specific preferences. You know, if you're looking for a male doctor, if you're looking for a female doctor, you're looking for a tall doctor. They don't have that, but everything else. All right? And you can even find a same-day opening if they have it. Once you find the right doctor, you can actually see their appointments right in front of your face. So how do they get Zocdoc?

• 25:39Bobby Lee?

  Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com.

• 25:42Andrew Santino?

  Dot com slash BADFRIENDS to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

• 25:45Bobby Lee?

  That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash BADFRIENDS. Zocdoc dot com slash BADFRIENDS.

• 25:53Andrew Santino?

  Let's take old movies like that and see some of the new comics that could fill those shoes.

• 25:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 25:57Andrew Santino?

  It's very interesting.

• 25:57Bobby Lee?

  Three Amigos.

• 25:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God. Uh, me, you.

• 26:02Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 26:03Andrew Santino?

  Okay, you're right.

• 26:04Bobby Lee?

  I mean, it wouldn't, it wouldn't.

• 26:06Andrew Santino?

  I'd like to put us in something because I can't get any work.

• 26:08Bobby Lee?

  I know me either, but.

• 26:09Andrew Santino?

  Can I get some fucking work?

• 26:10Bobby Lee?

  But they would, they would, imagine a studio.

• 26:12Andrew Santino?

  You and I could do Planes, Trains and Automobiles and it would be fucking amazing.

• 26:15Bobby Lee?

  That'd be amazing.

• 26:16Andrew Santino?

  I mean, how much more am I Steve Martin to his John Candy? I mean, genuinely.

• 26:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:21Andrew Santino?

  We'd have to get you off the Ozempic, though.

• 26:23Bobby Lee?

  I have to gain weight.

• 26:24Andrew Santino?

  You have to gain weight to make it funny.

• 26:25Bobby Lee?

  But don't you think a studio would be like, okay, Three Amigos, let's go to Sadekis first. Let's go to these kind of people first, or no?

• 26:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but that's fucking boring. I know that's not a shot at him.

• 26:32Bobby Lee?

  That's what they would do.

• 26:33Andrew Santino?

  Give me someone. We're making our world.

• 26:35Bobby Lee?

  Now, I'm just saying.

• 26:36Andrew Santino?

  What are you, a studio exec now?

• 26:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, from a studio exec, I would be like, uh, Santino or Sadekis, probably Sadekis.

• 26:42Andrew Santino?

  All right, let me say this.

• 26:42Bobby Lee?

  Our, our ecosystem, our ecosystem that we're talking about?

• 26:45Andrew Santino?

  You have friends that we know.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  All right, so here we go. Three Amigos. Well, you're obviously the, you're obviously the Chevy Chase part and fucking.

• 26:51Andrew Santino?

  I mean, that would, what I would want.

• 26:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:53Andrew Santino?

  Who's Steve Martin, then?

• 26:54Bobby Lee?

  Steve Martin would be Nate Bargatze.

• 26:59Andrew Santino?

  Perfect.

• 27:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:00Andrew Santino?

  And then you are Little Nettie Needleander?

• 27:02Bobby Lee?

  No, there's no way they would pick me.

• 27:04Andrew Santino?

  It's for us. Who are you talking about? We're casting this movie.

• 27:08Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I'm gonna be the bargain tender Freddy Asparagus's part.

• 27:11Andrew Santino?

  Freddy Asparagus.

• 27:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:13Andrew Santino?

  Hey, smile, smile.

• 27:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, smile, smile.

• 27:15Andrew Santino?

  Who would be?

• 27:16Bobby Lee?

  I'll do it.

• 27:17Andrew Santino?

  Who would be Little Nettie Needleander?

• 27:20Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, who would be that?

• 27:21Andrew Santino?

  Martin Short, Nettie Needleander. Who would be him? I want to be Dusty Bottom so bad.

• 27:25Bobby Lee?

  That's a tough, that's a tough.

• 27:26Andrew Santino?

  And who would be Patrice Martinez, the one of the, the first girl that he falls in love with, that Steve falls in love with? Who would be her?

• 27:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, shit.

• 27:35Andrew Santino?

  Angela Johnson.

• 27:37Bobby Lee?

  Angela Johnson.

• 27:37Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm trying to think of a, yeah, it's gotta be like, uh... Who's the most famous Latino comedian?

• 27:44Bobby Lee?

  Angela Johnson.

• 27:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Sofia Nino de Rivera. What? Annabelle Ferrera? I mean, I don't know any of these. I mean, fancy, shouldn't you know? Sofia Niño de Rivera. Shut up.

• 27:59Andrew Santino?

  It's so annoying. Wow.

• 28:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it'll be her.

• 28:02Andrew Santino?

  Have her on the show. Hey, is this hurricane gonna hit Florida or is this bullshit? Let's fucking do more hurricanes. Remember that? When we were kids, I feel like it happened all the time. Hurricane, what is that? Imelda? Forecasters are monitoring Hurricane Imelda, which is... Am I saying that right? Imelda.

• 28:19Bobby Lee?

  Why do they take the name at names like that?

• 28:21Andrew Santino?

  And it goes in alphabetical order. Hurricanes are given names to improve public and professional communication, making storms easier to identify, track, and discuss, especially when multiple storms are active. Right, cuz they've got, sometimes there's three hurricanes going on at the same time.

• 28:33Bobby Lee?

  I like when they combine.

• 28:34Andrew Santino?

  Oh, when they hook up?

• 28:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's my favorite.

• 28:36Andrew Santino?

  When they hook up.

• 28:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they don't know, and then when they combine, they're bigger.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  Little Hurorgy?

• 28:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:41Andrew Santino?

  Little Hoorgy? That's a movie where like six come into one.

• 28:45Bobby Lee?

  Or you have two natural events happen.

• 28:47Andrew Santino?

  Earthquake and...

• 28:48Bobby Lee?

  So two, two hurricanes that meet, you know? And then an earthquake in the ocean.

• 28:53Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 28:54Bobby Lee?

  Which causes a tsunami. Just, it just happens, right?

• 28:58Andrew Santino?

  A tornado sweeping through the Midwest.

• 29:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:00Andrew Santino?

  Fires on the West Coast.

• 29:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and then it just happens at one place.

• 29:04Andrew Santino?

  And then we all die.

• 29:05Bobby Lee?

  No, just, it'll happen in...

• 29:07Andrew Santino?

  Okay. Rapture.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  Rapture.

• 29:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what happened to the rapture?

• 29:11Speaker 03

  What happened to the rapture?

• 29:13Bobby Lee?

  What happened to the rapture?

• 29:14Speaker 03

  Excuse me.

• 29:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Excuse me, what happened to the rapture?

• 29:18Bobby Lee?

  What happened, though? Did anyone?

• 29:19Andrew Santino?

  It said it's back on.

• 29:20Bobby Lee?

  Was anyone raptured?

• 29:21Andrew Santino?

  Here's the new date the Christians believe in.

• 29:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, there's a new one? They got the wrong day. Wait, it was two weeks ago, right? Yeah, what day was the rapture?

• 29:27Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, but-

• 29:28Bobby Lee?

  It was a Tuesday, I think.

• 29:29Andrew Santino?

  Well, let's see, go down. Let's see. Rapture 2025 prophecy may be expected to occur on the 23rd to 24th of September.

• 29:34Bobby Lee?

  That's right, it didn't happen.

• 29:35Andrew Santino?

  Failed to materialize.

• 29:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:37Andrew Santino?

  And anticlimax lets us dismiss it as a long line of unfulfilled doomsday claims. However, some believers say it's still coming. South African pastor Joshua Makela. Who has been, well, I mean, that's, I didn't need to. Joshua Makela, I don't know how to say it. It's like Mhakela.

• 29:52Bobby Lee?

  You know what I did on the 23rd? I was waiting for the rapture. I was in my backyard completely naked. Do you know why I was naked?

• 29:59Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 29:59Bobby Lee?

  Because when, when you have your clothes on, it leaves where you left. I want that to be a mystery.

• 30:05Andrew Santino?

  Right. Where's Bobby?

• 30:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, where's Bobby? I don't want them to know where I, you know what I mean? I feel like if I was raptured, no one would believe it.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  I mean, people would think, Bob, you're on one. People are like, he relapsed, he's on one, he's out there.

• 30:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I don't think that, like, if people were-

• 30:19Andrew Santino?

  And how stupid would I be? I'd be like, you guys don't get it? He was raptured! And they're like, okay, dude, where is he?

• 30:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you were raptured, do you think people would believe it?

• 30:26Andrew Santino?

  For sure. I'm rapturable, too.

• 30:28Bobby Lee?

  I don't think you're rapturable, dude.

• 30:29Andrew Santino?

  Come on, dude, I keep tempting the rapture. I said, come get me.

• 30:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, who would? I don't know, dude.

• 30:34Andrew Santino?

  I'm not rapturable.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  I don't, well, I don't think so. If I, if I'm not rapturable, you're not rapturable.

• 30:40Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're, okay, fine. A person raptured is, according to some Christian beliefs, when they're a true believer in Jesus Christ.

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, that, that-

• 30:46Andrew Santino?

  I believe in, I believe in Jesus.

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  You do?

• 30:48Andrew Santino?

  Now you don't.

• 30:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, damn it! Is that the prerequisite?

• 30:52Andrew Santino?

  Say it again?

• 30:54Bobby Lee?

  Is that the prerequisite?

• 30:55Andrew Santino?

  I love that. I love, and you did it good on that second one.

• 30:58Bobby Lee?

  Is that not how I say it?

• 30:59Andrew Santino?

  That is a prerequisite to being raptured.

• 31:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:01Andrew Santino?

  You must believe.

• 31:02Bobby Lee?

  But, okay, what if I have all the other ones, but, except for that one?

• 31:05Andrew Santino?

  Well, you gotta talk to the guy.

• 31:08Andrew Santino?

  Imagine he gets up to fuck, you know what I mean? He gets up.

• 31:11Bobby Lee?

  What, what are the conditions about rapture? Do you have that?

• 31:14Andrew Santino?

  I think it's just that. You gotta believe.

• 31:15Bobby Lee?

  That's the only thing?

• 31:16Andrew Santino?

  That's it. You gotta accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior in your heart.

• 31:19Bobby Lee?

  I just did it.

• 31:20Andrew Santino?

  Seriously?

• 31:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I just did it, dude.

• 31:22Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're gonna get raptured, bud.

• 31:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't think you believe that.

• 31:25Andrew Santino?

  Imagine-

• 31:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wait, no, there's a few. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give me the few, give me-

• 31:27Andrew Santino?

  Wait, hold on, but imagine we all get raptured and we're waiting in line and, and Jesus is like, why is Bobby naked?

• 31:39Andrew Santino?

  We all have clothes on.

• 31:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just like.

• 31:43Andrew Santino?

  And one of the apostles is like, that's a bit he does from his show. And he's like, Jesus, he's gonna give you a pub shot when he gets here. Receive Jesus Christ. You receive in the fundamental steps to believing in Jesus Christ. Accept Him as your Lord and Savior and repent for your sins. Read and study the Bible. No, you don't.

• 31:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 31:59Andrew Santino?

  Pray and confess. You do. Live a faithful life. You do. Join a healthy church. You don't. Be patient and endure. You do. Is that it? Just six?

• 32:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:08Andrew Santino?

  No. Yeah.

• 32:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:10Andrew Santino?

  So, understand the event, know it's coming. So, we gotta get you to a church is really what it is.

• 32:14Bobby Lee?

  Now, so you, do you pray and repent?

• 32:18Andrew Santino?

  I pray.

• 32:19Bobby Lee?

  I pray too.

• 32:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I pray a lot.

• 32:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:21Andrew Santino?

  Pray for people.

• 32:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Andrew Santino?

  I pray for the show that fancy gets replaced eventually.

• 32:26Bobby Lee?

  What else do you do? I've never seen you go to a church.

• 32:29Andrew Santino?

  You don't talk to God?

• 32:29Bobby Lee?

  I've never seen you go to a church.

• 32:31Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, I do? I go to church every Sunday. That's why we can't do the show on Sunday mornings.

• 32:35Bobby Lee?

  Do you really go to church every Sunday morning?

• 32:37Andrew Santino?

  Have I missed? How many Sundays have I missed, McCon? McCon knows.

• 32:40Bobby Lee?

  I mean, none.

• 32:41Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes he comes and watches the dog.

• 32:43Bobby Lee?

  Are you kidding me, dude? You go to church every Sunday?

• 32:46Andrew Santino?

  What do you?

• 32:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, stop. Not if we're on the road. No, stop, stop for a second.

• 32:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we can't on the road, cuz I don't wanna go to some church.

• 32:52Bobby Lee?

  Stop, stop, stop for a second.

• 32:53Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 32:54Bobby Lee?

  May I speak?

• 32:55Andrew Santino?

  Please.

• 32:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 32:58Bobby Lee?

  That says a lot about our relationship.

• 33:01Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 33:02Bobby Lee?

  Cuz you've never invited me, and you don't want me to be saved.

• 33:06Andrew Santino?

  Do you know churches at 8:00 AM, right?

• 33:07Bobby Lee?

  It doesn't matter. You don't want, at least one time, like, hey, bud, you wanna go?

• 33:12Andrew Santino?

  Do you think you could get up at 8:00 to go to church, for real?

• 33:15Bobby Lee?

  I would.

• 33:15Andrew Santino?

  Genuinely?

• 33:16Bobby Lee?

  I go up at Sunday mornings and I go to Third and Gardner, which is an early AA meeting. I go to that.

• 33:20Andrew Santino?

  That's at 10:30, you said?

• 33:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:22Andrew Santino?

  Okay, you wanna go two and a half hours?

• 33:23Bobby Lee?

  But you think I sleep? You think I sleep when I go to Third and Gardner? No, I stay up all night.

• 33:28Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's not good.

• 33:29Bobby Lee?

  That's my point. I would go if you tried to save me, but you don't want me to go. You don't want me to go to heaven.

• 33:34Andrew Santino?

  I want you to go to heaven.

• 33:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but then why wouldn't you invite me?

• 33:36Andrew Santino?

  Okay, look.

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  You don't want me saved.

• 33:38Andrew Santino?

  I want.

• 33:38Bobby Lee?

  That's fucked up, dude.

• 33:39Andrew Santino?

  I want you to go to heaven, but I do think I've already put in a couple of requests and they've been denied.

• 33:46Bobby Lee?

  It's invite only? What do you mean? Request from Jesus?

• 33:49Andrew Santino?

  It's like Raya. Like you can get in, but it's like you gotta have a few people to vouch for you. And also if you violate it-

• 33:55Bobby Lee?

  You'll be banned.

• 33:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. You got banned from heaven bud. But honestly, if you wait a couple of weeks, I'll lift the ban.

• 34:04Bobby Lee?

  Can I?

• 34:05Andrew Santino?

  Come with me.

• 34:06Bobby Lee?

  What's the church called?

• 34:08Andrew Santino?

  I'm not telling it on the fucking air. You wanna come?

• 34:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:11Andrew Santino?

  Let's go.

• 34:12Bobby Lee?

  And what do you wear?

• 34:14Andrew Santino?

  A dashiki.

• 34:18Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean? You wear street clothes?

• 34:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 34:19Andrew Santino?

  Wear whatever you want. There's no rules to church. That's old school shit. That's old fucking fuddy duddy.

• 34:25Bobby Lee?

  It's honestly, it's, I'm so shocked that you go to church.

• 34:28Andrew Santino?

  But you can't wear shorts.

• 34:29Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever seen-

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  Jesus don't like knees.

• 34:32Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever seen me wear shorts?

• 34:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, not really.

• 34:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 34:35Andrew Santino?

  Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen you. No, that's not true.

• 34:38Bobby Lee?

  On a beach, yes.

• 34:40Andrew Santino?

  We've gone swimming together and I've seen you in shorts.

• 34:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know. Yeah, you've seen me in, yeah.

• 34:43Andrew Santino?

  I've seen your little thong.

• 34:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:45Andrew Santino?

  Cute little-

• 34:46Bobby Lee?

  Those little black things we wore-

• 34:46Andrew Santino?

  Little black thongs?

• 34:49Andrew Santino?

  Dude, they were so funny.

• 34:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:50Andrew Santino?

  That's sexy. That's an album cover? What is that?

• 34:54Bobby Lee?

  It's for the Brea-

• 34:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, flyer for Brea.

• 34:58Andrew Santino?

  God, the kid's got a much better body now. I gotta tell you, you should reshoot that photo now. You should reshoot some of those old like, like nudie photos and see what you look like now. God, look at how young the kid is.

• 35:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God. Look at how young I am.

• 35:11Andrew Santino?

  We want you to be saved. I want you to be saved and the fans want you to be saved. And I believe you can do it.

• 35:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I wanna go, I wanna, that Rapture talk was really scary and I just, I just-

• 35:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, buddy, come on. You're gonna be saved. You know why? Cause you have a good heart and a good soul. The number one rule of, I believe in all religions is, um, to try to be a good person. And you're a great person. And that is your entrance, entry ticket to the, uh, the afterlife.

• 35:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I've giggled at a couple of funerals before.

• 35:40Andrew Santino?

  Funerals can be funny.

• 35:42Bobby Lee?

  But they've been in church, I've been, I have, every time I'm in a funeral, I do, there's a laugh attack.

• 35:46Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, who said that they're supposed to be sad?

• 35:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:49Andrew Santino?

  Why, why is there, why are they sad?

• 35:50Bobby Lee?

  Like, my brother and I were at, um, a funeral once and, um, we heard a knock.

• 35:59Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 35:59Andrew Santino?

  Is it closed casket?

• 36:00Bobby Lee?

  It was closed casket, but we heard like that, right? And I looked at my brother and we just collapsed on the ground.

• 36:06Andrew Santino?

  So funny.

• 36:07Bobby Lee?

  Started laughing, you know what I mean?

• 36:08Andrew Santino?

  It's funny.

• 36:09Bobby Lee?

  I know, but still, you're not supposed to laugh. Do you ever have a laugh fit?

• 36:13Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes I laugh when I'm uncomfortable, yeah.

• 36:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:15Andrew Santino?

  Because you don't feel, you don't know how to feel.

• 36:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  You know, like, I learned something the other day that this is, this Dimorphous expression is the phenomenon of displaying two contradictory expressions or actions in response to a single intense emotion, such as crying when happy or feeling or just squeeze a cute object. Yeah, sometimes you feel so overwhelmed, you do something you usually wouldn't. I laugh sometimes when I want to cry.

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:38Andrew Santino?

  You know?

• 36:39Bobby Lee?

  When feelings are too emotional for me.

• 36:41Andrew Santino?

  Dude, Dimorphous expression.

• 36:43Bobby Lee?

  I've never even heard that before.

• 36:44Andrew Santino?

  What's up, San Diego? We're Dimorphous expression.

• 36:48Andrew Santino?

  Just bawling while they play.

• 36:51Bobby Lee?

  Dimorphous expression. That's a great band name.

• 36:54Andrew Santino?

  Or it's a great album.

• 36:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:55Andrew Santino?

  Dimorphous?

• 36:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:57Andrew Santino?

  Dimorphous expression, I've literally never learned. We're learning new shit.

• 37:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:00Andrew Santino?

  I had someone I, someone I know, they had, they had someone in their family do assisted suicide.

• 37:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no.

• 37:10Andrew Santino?

  Which is kind of crazy. Well, because usually people that do it, do it because they have a terminal illness and they're like, well, I don't want this to get progressively worse. I want to say goodbye. But this is kind of a crazy story. The person like threw themselves a goodbye party or whatever, you know, these living funerals is like a big thing that people do now.

• 37:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:25Andrew Santino?

  But they kept pushing back the date of the, because they, you know, had a couple of like secondaries of like, maybe I don't know, let's, let's move it back a little bit.

• 37:36Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 37:37Andrew Santino?

  Like they kept changing the date of the assisted suicide because they kind of had a, probably a few good weeks or something.

• 37:42Bobby Lee?

  Ah.

• 37:43Andrew Santino?

  It's fucked up because don't you think after you do that, you'd be like, all right, I don't want to do it.

• 37:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:46Andrew Santino?

  If I bailed once, I'm, I, I am out. I don't know if I could go through with it.

• 37:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a dark thing.

• 37:51Andrew Santino?

  It's crazy. I'm not, it's just like, it's, it's hard.

• 37:54Bobby Lee?

  I don't know how to spin this, but yeah.

• 37:55Andrew Santino?

  Spin it, spin it, spin it.

• 37:56Bobby Lee?

  It's pretty dark.

• 37:57Andrew Santino?

  Spin it, you got it. I know it's in there.

• 37:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I don't like physical pain.

• 38:02Andrew Santino?

  You don't want to experience any physical?

• 38:03Bobby Lee?

  I, I think once the physical pain is just, even if morphine or any of these drugs stop working.

• 38:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 38:09Bobby Lee?

  I just, I feel like I like, I'm going to move on.

• 38:12Andrew Santino?

  You ever had morphine?

• 38:15Bobby Lee?

  Like when I was in Vietnam?

• 38:16Andrew Santino?

  Like a drip.

• 38:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, on the field, yeah?

• 38:19Andrew Santino?

  Like a drip. You've had a drip in a hospital?

• 38:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:23Andrew Santino?

  Dude, they gave me that shit when I had my torn ligaments in my leg.

• 38:27Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 38:28Andrew Santino?

  Yum. It's unfucking real. You feel...

• 38:31Bobby Lee?

  It's warm. I mean...

• 38:32Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's warm sunshine.

• 38:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:34Andrew Santino?

  It makes me go heroin. Yes, yes, yes.

• 38:35Bobby Lee?

  It's not surprising why people are addicted to all these, you know, opiates.

• 38:38Andrew Santino?

  No, of course not. Morphine drip is a continuous intravenous administration of the opioid pain medication morphine IV, dog. Drip, drip, drop. A drip, drip, drip with that drip, drip, drip. I got that drip. I got that drip, drip, drip. I got that drip. Just two IVs in my arms. I got that drip, drip, drip. I'm drooling.

• 38:55Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 38:55Andrew Santino?

  It does feel good, dude.

• 38:56Bobby Lee?

  It does feel good.

• 38:57Andrew Santino?

  It's Bad News Bears. You know when you get on it. You know, they're like, uh, be careful, because it's fun.

• 39:04Bobby Lee?

  You know what? I think in the last five years of my life, when I'm 70, I think I'm gonna do it.

• 39:09Andrew Santino?

  70? The last five? That's the... What are you talking about?

• 39:11Bobby Lee?

  I think I'm 75, I'm done.

• 39:12Andrew Santino?

  You're living way past 80.

• 39:14Bobby Lee?

  I'm 70. I think I'm gonna go, you know what? I'm gonna liquidate everything. And I'm just gonna shoot heroin.

• 39:19Andrew Santino?

  Please don't.

• 39:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, or fentanyl. There's a new fentanyl. There's a super fentanyl. Right? But I think I'm just gonna boom, boom. You can come over to my little apartment. I'll have... I'm gonna downsize.

• 39:29Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna downsize.

• 39:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I'm just gonna drip my way into heaven.

• 39:31Andrew Santino?

  Super fentanyl?

• 39:33Bobby Lee?

  There's a new fentanyl, dude. Super fentanyl.

• 39:35Andrew Santino?

  Carfentanil? Extreme potency. Synthetic opioid estimated to be 100 times more potent than fentanyl. 10,000 times more potent than morphine. Damn, dude.

• 39:43Bobby Lee?

  It's on the streets now.

• 39:44Andrew Santino?

  Give that to me in the hospital, dog. They're like, Andrew, you just have a paper cut. I'm like, I need it.

• 39:49Bobby Lee?

  Who took fentanyl was like, nah, it's not enough. You know what I mean?

• 39:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, probably because they're fucking used to it. They've, uh, their tolerance is too high.

• 39:57Bobby Lee?

  Do a little extra fentanyl, then.

• 39:59Andrew Santino?

  No, that's not gonna work. Listen, Charlie Sheen was like, I was banging seven gram rocks. I was like, fucking go.

• 40:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:05Andrew Santino?

  He couldn't get enough.

• 40:06Bobby Lee?

  That was the greatest documentary. I love that documentary.

• 40:09Andrew Santino?

  We were talking about that for days, dude. It's so good.

• 40:11Bobby Lee?

  That documentary, what a life.

• 40:16Bobby Lee?

  And the thing that got him sober was like incredible.

• 40:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, happy he did. Sheenzy's, AKA Charlie Sheen. Did you see Jason Bateman's new show, Black Rabbit?

• 40:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, everyone was talking about it.

• 40:26Andrew Santino?

  Very good.

• 40:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:28Andrew Santino?

  It's very good. And Jude Law?

• 40:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:30Andrew Santino?

  Jude Law, so good.

• 40:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and the new Paul Thomas Anderson movie, everyone's saying great.

• 40:34Andrew Santino?

  So good. A lot of people are saying it's good, but I've seen a little bit of, uh, other sides. I've seen people say that they don't like it. Watch it yourself. Yeah, I'm gonna.

• 40:41Bobby Lee?

  You wanna go watch it?

• 40:42Andrew Santino?

  I'll go.

• 40:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let's do it this week.

• 40:44Andrew Santino?

  Let's go.

• 40:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'll watch it. Would you watch it again?

• 40:47Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna go watch it again. Wow.

• 40:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you are? Cause you have no life.

• 40:51Andrew Santino?

  I like going to movies. Are you dating anybody right now? Are you single? I'm single. You taking anybody out on dates? No, I like to go to movies by myself, cause I can get a better seat. Yeah, I agree. I do like going to movies as well by myself, but you're not seeing anybody at all, huh? I'm so often I'll go on a date, but I don't. You know, why don't you be honest? Cause you talk to me that how badly you wanna have love. You're like interested badly in love. The problem is that people now watch the show, so. God, fancy.

• 41:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:16Andrew Santino?

  You know, I will get you back to Spain, pretty van. Keep that vibe up.

• 41:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't like watching movies with somebody because I get influenced by them.

• 41:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, if they laugh or if they, yeah.

• 41:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'll be sitting next to somebody, like I was watching Superman with like three other people, my brother, dumbfounded, and Gene. And I'm watching it, I'm like, I'm trying to get into it.

• 41:35Andrew Santino?

  What's that combined IQ in that room? Sorry, I'm trying to get into it.

• 41:42Bobby Lee?

  Fuck you, dude. That's in my friend group, dude. And family, what the fuck?

• 41:46Andrew Santino?

  Your brother, dumbfounded.

• 41:48Bobby Lee?

  Gene Hong is.

• 41:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's get you over a hundred.

• 41:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I, and I, I turned to my brother and my brother just goes.

• 41:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:55Bobby Lee?

  As soon as he did that, I was like, oh, it's bad.

• 41:58Andrew Santino?

  No, that's just.

• 41:59Bobby Lee?

  And then it ruined the whole thing.

• 42:00Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 42:01Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Or like somebody will just be like, their eyes closed.

• 42:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 42:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I took my dad to Lord of the Rings, the two towers.

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  Sleeping.

• 42:09Bobby Lee?

  Dude, cause he had never seen the first one or the third one, right? Cause the third one wasn't out.

• 42:17Bobby Lee?

  And I just remember just opening my, you know, what going on, right? In the beginning.

• 42:22Andrew Santino?

  Just watch.

• 42:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and then like five minutes and he's just dead, he just deepened.

• 42:26Andrew Santino?

  Gone.

• 42:26Bobby Lee?

  Sleepy, gone.

• 42:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but he works a lot.

• 42:27Bobby Lee?

  He has no interest in, you know what I mean?

• 42:29Andrew Santino?

  What was he interested in?

• 42:31Bobby Lee?

  He's never seen a movie, he, you know, my dad was one of those immigrants that was like, he doesn't know what music is. I've talked about this before.

• 42:38Andrew Santino?

  I know, but it's so funny, not his music.

• 42:40Bobby Lee?

  He doesn't know what music is.

• 42:41Andrew Santino?

  Turn it on, he's like, ah, ah!

• 42:42Bobby Lee?

  I mean, that, yeah, but right before he died, right, I had, um, AirPods.

• 42:47Andrew Santino?

  The translation ones, the new ones?

• 42:49Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, no. And he was like.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  They finally communicated.

• 42:57Andrew Santino?

  I know what you're saying. After all those years?

• 43:00Bobby Lee?

  I love Radiohead.

• 43:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. In a Rainbow is amazing.

• 43:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:11Andrew Santino?

  What, you put?

• 43:11Bobby Lee?

  Weird fishes, what's this, I know. So he, um, we put in, um, Eric Clapton.

• 43:18Andrew Santino?

  Reckoner, sorry.

• 43:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Reckoner's a song. We put Eric Clapton in, um, what's that song?

• 43:24Andrew Santino?

  Tears in, Tears in Heaven?

• 43:25Bobby Lee?

  Tears in Heaven.

• 43:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, God.

• 43:27Bobby Lee?

  Put it in, we play it, never heard music before in his life. Now, I mean, obviously he's in the elevator in a mall, he hears it in the ambiance of it.

• 43:35Andrew Santino?

  Pure eleven.

• 43:43Bobby Lee?

  Pure eleven?

• 43:46Andrew Santino?

  Your dad dies, he gets to the pearly gates, he's like, pure eleven. I'm sorry, sir, what, you keep singing a song?

• 43:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:53Andrew Santino?

  Did he smile through the song? Did he like it?

• 43:55Bobby Lee?

  And he's, he's like, we, we play, and he's like kinda sitting there, and then a single tear.

• 44:02Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 44:02Bobby Lee?

  I swear to God.

• 44:03Andrew Santino?

  That's so sweet.

• 44:03Bobby Lee?

  Comes out his face. And it was the first time he ever. Would you, would you know, would you know my name? If I saw you, Helen.

• 44:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you take the next one.

• 44:20Andrew Santino?

  Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven? I must be strong.

• 44:30Bobby Lee?

  Is that how it goes?

• 44:31Andrew Santino?

  I must be strong and carry on. Cause I know I don't be wrong. Here in heaven. Brother, and this is about his kid falling out a window?

• 44:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we didn't explain that to him. He was doing cocaine on a fucking balcony. I don't know what the story was. Was he doing cocaine? I don't know.

• 44:54Andrew Santino?

  He was, he loved cocaine traditionally. He wrote a song about it, but it's about a, it's about his son falling out of a fucking fifty third, fifty third story apartment.

• 45:03Bobby Lee?

  How do you move on after that?

• 45:05Andrew Santino?

  God.

• 45:06Bobby Lee?

  How do you, how do you move on after that?

• 45:08Andrew Santino?

  Fifty three floors like this. No.

• 45:13Andrew Santino?

  I mean, so long.

• 45:14Bobby Lee?

  That's.

• 45:22Andrew Santino?

  So many stories.

• 45:23Bobby Lee?

  Funniest thing I've ever seen.

• 45:23Andrew Santino?

  I'm sorry.

• 45:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh my goodness, it's so long. How long is that? That's a long time.

• 45:29Andrew Santino?

  Long time, man. No, my God.

• 45:33Bobby Lee?

  No, that's so funny too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:36Andrew Santino?

  Forever.

• 45:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:37Andrew Santino?

  Whoa. Look who's here. Come on in, Prince. Sit down in these chairs. Hey, hey.

• 45:50Andrew Santino?

  Did you guys lock the door? No, we left it open for you. What's wrong with that? You don't like that?

• 45:55Bobby Lee?

  Jack Black did it.

• 45:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Jack Black.

• 45:57Bobby Lee?

  ShipStation. Chugga, chugga, chugga. We go to ShipStation. We have an online store and, you know, since the inception of Bad Friends, we've been using ShipStation and we love it.

• 46:06Andrew Santino?

  We really do. If you run an e-commerce business, you know customer reviews are of an enormous impact on your business and you need scalable features to help ensure accuracy. You get shipments to their door faster and wow your customers. You want to keep them.

• 46:18Bobby Lee?

  Automate your workflow, save time and reduce human error through an unlimited number of ways to automate the fulfillment process.

• 46:25Andrew Santino?

  That's right. Best-in-class carrier savings, discounts up to 90% off rates on all global major carriers. Centralize your fulfillment operations, all in one place with the 400 store carrier and tool integration. It's amazing.

• 46:39Bobby Lee?

  90% of companies that stick with ShipStation for a year become customers for life.

• 46:43Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right. We've been using ShipStation for a long time. We're going to use them for an even longer time to get you what you want from us. So wow your customers and get rave reviews with cheaper, faster and better shipping. Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a 60-day free trial at shipstation.com/badfriends.

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  There's no credit card or contract required and you can cancel anytime.

• 47:02Andrew Santino?

  That's shipstation.com/badfriends.

• 47:04Bobby Lee?

  Cash App!

• 47:05Andrew Santino?

  Hey, man.

• 47:05Bobby Lee?

  I want to feel safe when I'm transferring money.

• 47:07Andrew Santino?

  And I didn't feel safe. I used a competitive app years ago and I got hacked.

• 47:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:11Andrew Santino?

  Okay? And that was so annoying because someone was renting a boat in Florida and my bank was like, "Are you in Florida?" I was like, "No, I'm in LA."

• 47:19Bobby Lee?

  Well, I needed that boat, dude.

• 47:20Andrew Santino?

  You did need that boat. No, and thanks to Cash App, they have high, high-end security that keeps you and your money safe, that protects you the way you deserve. When you get the Cash App card, not only do you get access to a ton of perks like benefits, exclusive early access to nationwide concerts, pre-sales or discounts on popular brands, but you also have extra security with the power to instantly lock or unlock your card right from your phone in one tap. I wish I had that.

• 47:42Bobby Lee?

  Turn on your security lock in your Cash App settings now to keep your account and your information safer than ever and pay attention to scam warnings if sending money to someone new.

• 47:51Andrew Santino?

  With Cash App, you can spend, save and live your life knowing your money is right where you left it with advanced built-in security protections you count on and help when you need it. Spend with peace of mind today and order a Cash App card in the app or at cash.app/card. For a limited time only, new Cash App customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash.

• 48:08Bobby Lee?

  For real, just download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code, SECURE10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App.

• 48:23Andrew Santino?

  Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC. Instant discounts provided by Cash App, a Block Incorporated brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

• 48:36Speaker 00

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• 49:06Bobby Lee?

  Is your hair wet or just greasy?

• 49:08Speaker 05

  Wet. Let's go to the shower.

• 49:10Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 49:11Andrew Santino?

  You look good though. Look at the lettuce on the kid.

• 49:13Bobby Lee?

  Hey, don't get defensive.

• 49:15Speaker 06

  He's doing all right.

• 49:16Bobby Lee?

  Just asking you a fucking question, man.

• 49:17Speaker 05

  Your hair looks good too. Looks nice.

• 49:20Bobby Lee?

  Well, I feel like...

• 49:20Speaker 05

  It does. You cut it, it looks stylish.

• 49:22Andrew Santino?

  Introduce our fucking guest.

• 49:23Speaker 05

  And you look thin.

• 49:23Bobby Lee?

  Kevin Ryan, H. Foley from Are You Garbage?

• 49:25Speaker 06

  Hey!

• 49:26Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, Are You Garbage is in the house!

• 49:27Speaker 05

  Hey, man, friends!

• 49:28Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 49:29Speaker 05

  Love the chair.

• 49:30Speaker 06

  Happy to be here.

• 49:31Andrew Santino?

  Do you like the chair?

• 49:32Speaker 05

  Hate the chair.

• 49:33Andrew Santino?

  Why do you hate the chair?

• 49:34Speaker 05

  Because I'm a fat pig. I feel like Biggie.

• 49:37Andrew Santino?

  This is what Biggie felt like his whole career.

• 49:40Bobby Lee?

  Give me the loot! Give me the loot!

• 49:42Andrew Santino?

  That's the one phrase he knows. I'm not kidding. He says that every week.

• 49:45Bobby Lee?

  It's the only thing I know.

• 49:46Speaker 06

  That's great. Because that came off quick. I was like, damn, Bobby's a fucking...

• 49:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:50Andrew Santino?

  Why do you say mean, diminutive stuff about yourself?

• 49:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 49:53Speaker 05

  I'm all fatty.

• 49:53Bobby Lee?

  You're successful now.

• 49:54Andrew Santino?

  You feel... You feel... Are you bigger than you were before?

• 49:57Speaker 05

  I'm actually going on the way down. I started Zepbound, uh, what? Six weeks ago?

• 50:00Andrew Santino?

  What's it called?

• 50:01Speaker 05

  Zepbound.

• 50:02Andrew Santino?

  Zepbound?

• 50:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:03Bobby Lee?

  Is it like Ozempic and Wegovy?

• 50:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, me too.

• 50:06Andrew Santino?

  You are?

• 50:06Bobby Lee?

  You on it?

• 50:07Speaker 06

  I'm down 40 pounds.

• 50:08Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean? You always look good, though. You... I've never...

• 50:09Bobby Lee?

  Nah, he's super skinned up.

• 50:10Speaker 06

  I blew up, though.

• 50:11Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 50:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, mine...

• 50:12Bobby Lee?

  I'm down 30. I'm down 30. You look great.

• 50:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 50:14Andrew Santino?

  You're down 30.

• 50:15Bobby Lee?

  I do... Can you see?

• 50:16Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 50:16Bobby Lee?

  I told you that as soon as I came in. The hair looks good. You look thin. Look Hollywood.

• 50:19Andrew Santino?

  You're 35 pounds this guy's got off now. 35.

• 50:22Bobby Lee?

  30, 30. Yeah, thanks.

• 50:23Andrew Santino?

  What... What'd you get the biggest? Where you were at?

• 50:25Speaker 06

  Uh, probably 250.

• 50:27Andrew Santino?

  Shut the fuck up!

• 50:28Bobby Lee?

  Wow!

• 50:29Andrew Santino?

  How tall are you? Five?

• 50:30Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, 5'11". Probably like right on... Smidge under 6.

• 50:33Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 50:33Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 50:34Andrew Santino?

  250?

• 50:35Speaker 06

  I was... I was big.

• 50:35Andrew Santino?

  Okay. I... I... As many times...

• 50:37Speaker 06

  I was boozing a lot.

• 50:38Bobby Lee?

  Boozing, eating good food?

• 50:39Speaker 06

  It's like, you know.

• 50:40Bobby Lee?

  You know? You have the roundest eyes I've ever seen.

• 50:42Speaker 06

  Thanks, bud. You? Not so much.

• 50:46Andrew Santino?

  Zingers. Bring them out, bring them out.

• 50:49Bobby Lee?

  And Foley, your eyes are pretty Asian-y.

• 50:52Speaker 05

  Really?

• 50:52Bobby Lee?

  To me, right, yeah, it's more Japanese, it's more Ronin.

• 50:56Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 50:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know what I mean, like, you know, a bigger Samurai.

• 50:59Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 51:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:01Andrew Santino?

  I will say, if you gain weight, it does smush your eyes a little bit. When you lose some fucking weight, those things are gonna be big.

• 51:06Bobby Lee?

  Big.

• 51:06Andrew Santino?

  Beautiful eyes.

• 51:07Bobby Lee?

  Are you thinking about getting the injection?

• 51:09Speaker 05

  What do you mean injection?

• 51:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, you're, I mean, you're already on it?

• 51:12Speaker 05

  I'm on it, yeah.

• 51:13Bobby Lee?

  Is it the same thing as Ozempic and?

• 51:15Speaker 05

  No, it's different. The side effects aren't as bad and, um, yeah, it's.

• 51:19Andrew Santino?

  Zepbound is a brand name for the prescription medication. Tirzepatide, used for chronic weight, okay, let's go down to, let's see what the, uh, what the side effects are. Generally considered safe when used as a directed, but comes with a potential side effects, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, you already have all these.

• 51:36Speaker 06

  You got all that stuff to begin with, you know, that's how I feel.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  And it made me gay.

• 51:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no shit?

• 51:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's awesome.

• 51:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:42Speaker 05

  I like it.

• 51:43Andrew Santino?

  And then, uh, you guys are sharing hotel rooms, fatigue and hair loss, you got a lot of lettuce, who cares, you're fine.

• 51:47Bobby Lee?

  The constipation I have a problem with.

• 51:48Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 51:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:50Speaker 05

  Brutal.

• 51:50Bobby Lee?

  It's brutal.

• 51:51Speaker 05

  I take Metamucil for it.

• 51:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 05

  The combat.

• 51:52Bobby Lee?

  They'll, they'll be good three days, remember that, I, I celebrated?

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, it was three, no, yeah, three days.

• 51:58Bobby Lee?

  Three days, and I, I sent you a poop photo.

• 51:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was nice.

• 52:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that, it was a celebration.

• 52:02Andrew Santino?

  Saved it, printed it.

• 52:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:04Andrew Santino?

  That's the kind of relationship we have.

• 52:05Bobby Lee?

  You get, you get clogged up?

• 52:06Speaker 05

  On this, not so bad, the Ozempic, it was brutal, it was like I was getting chemo, that's why I had to stop.

• 52:10Andrew Santino?

  Did you throw up too?

• 52:11Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 52:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I was, he was throwing up.

• 52:13Speaker 05

  Ozempic was awful.

• 52:14Bobby Lee?

  Awful.

• 52:14Speaker 05

  Awful.

• 52:15Andrew Santino?

  No, you're on it too, huh?

• 52:16Speaker 06

  Buddy, I don't have a fucking one side effect, I'm humming, it's great.

• 52:21Andrew Santino?

  On Zepbound or on?

• 52:22Speaker 06

  Zepbound.

• 52:23Andrew Santino?

  You guys are both on it? You guys sponsored by, do a read real fast into the camera.

• 52:26Speaker 06

  Are you a fat piece of shit?

• 52:29Andrew Santino?

  Do you have no self-control?

• 52:31Speaker 05

  You wanna see your dick look a little bit bigger, get on Zepbound.

• 52:33Speaker 06

  Hey, Dan.

• 52:35Speaker 05

  Does your dick look bigger?

• 52:37Bobby Lee?

  Um, no, same size.

• 52:38Speaker 06

  Really? You don't get it, there's no more life in it?

• 52:40Bobby Lee?

  Thirty pounds, twenty-five pounds came out of my penis. I had a very thick penis. Yeah, yeah.

• 52:45Speaker 06

  It's hard to hear.

• 52:45Bobby Lee?

  It was like a spam can.

• 52:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you can't change that, you know what I mean, that's, uh.

• 52:49Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 52:50Andrew Santino?

  It's genetic.

• 52:51Speaker 05

  No, as you lose weight, it looks, it looks bigger, mine's starting to look a little bigger.

• 52:54Andrew Santino?

  You've seen that, uh, Sydney Sweeney commercial? He's like, my jeans, my jeans are Asian.

• 53:01Bobby Lee?

  You know, I don't like it.

• 53:02Andrew Santino?

  Fuck you.

• 53:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't like what we're doing right now.

• 53:04Speaker 06

  I'm not making funny, I got a, I got a small piece myself.

• 53:07Bobby Lee?

  I don't have a small piece, that's the thing, that's the thing.

• 53:09Speaker 06

  Me either.

• 53:10Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, wait, wait, I don't have one, that's the thing.

• 53:13Speaker 06

  I know, yeah, me too.

• 53:15Bobby Lee?

  For my body structure.

• 53:16Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 53:17Bobby Lee?

  Very, very good. Okay? Like, you know, like Spud Webb.

• 53:21Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 53:22Speaker 06

  Your dick and jump eye?

• 53:24Bobby Lee?

  I'm just saying.

• 53:25Andrew Santino?

  There's no chance.

• 53:26Bobby Lee?

  Obviously Spud Webb is not gonna have Shaquille O'Neal's.

• 53:28Speaker 06

  Yes, he is.

• 53:29Speaker 05

  Yes, he does.

• 53:30Andrew Santino?

  Historically, you've never heard of this? This guy has a fucking pipe. It fell out of his shorts one time when he was dunking.

• 53:35Speaker 06

  The confidence you need to jump that high as a little guy.

• 53:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, how tall was Spud Webb?

• 53:38Speaker 05

  He's got a big one.

• 53:39Andrew Santino?

  Five six. Five six.

• 53:40Speaker 05

  Five six.

• 53:41Speaker 06

  Wow.

• 53:41Andrew Santino?

  God, what a man, huh?

• 53:42Speaker 06

  He was great.

• 53:43Speaker 05

  Uh, Twitter's been feeding me a lot of Asian porn lately, I don't know why.

• 53:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Twitter's feeding you?

• 53:48Bobby Lee?

  Amen. Amen.

• 53:50Speaker 06

  He's obsessed that there's like full-blown porn on Twitter, it's cra- he's like all over.

• 53:54Andrew Santino?

  You know there's porn on the internet.

• 53:55Speaker 05

  I know, but something about Twitter, it's like two minutes.

• 53:57Andrew Santino?

  Why do you like it so much? You think just because it's like you're reading about news and disastrous shit and then you get off to a little Asian foot thing?

• 54:03Speaker 05

  I don't know, it's awesome, I love it.

• 54:04Andrew Santino?

  What's your favorite kind?

• 54:05Speaker 05

  Of porn?

• 54:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:06Bobby Lee?

  Of Asian?

• 54:07Speaker 05

  Of Asian?

• 54:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 05

  Japanese?

• 54:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:10Speaker 05

  Japanese, Korean, and then Chinese.

• 54:12Bobby Lee?

  Japanese goes number one?

• 54:13Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 54:14Bobby Lee?

  In terms of porn?

• 54:15Andrew Santino?

  Japanese is always number one, everybody knows.

• 54:17Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 54:18Speaker 05

  Japanese girls?

• 54:19Andrew Santino?

  Anime, anime, anime, Japanese has always been number one, they've been number one forever.

• 54:23Speaker 05

  Then Korean.

• 54:24Speaker 06

  K-pop's making a move, though.

• 54:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it is making a move.

• 54:26Andrew Santino?

  Not good enough.

• 54:27Speaker 05

  That girl Rose is beautiful.

• 54:28Andrew Santino?

  Who?

• 54:29Speaker 05

  The girl Rose? You know what I'm talking about?

• 54:31Bobby Lee?

  Why are you looking at me like I know everything?

• 54:32Andrew Santino?

  Like he's a fucking expert in every Japanese porn star?

• 54:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:35Andrew Santino?

  What is it called, Rose what?

• 54:36Speaker 05

  Her name's Rose, she does the song with, um, Bruno Mars. Apeta. Bobby, you don't know this?

• 54:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:45Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she's gorgeous.

• 54:46Andrew Santino?

  You like her?

• 54:46Bobby Lee?

  Gorgeous.

• 54:47Speaker 05

  Great singer, too.

• 54:48Bobby Lee?

  Would you leave your, um, wife for her?

• 54:50Speaker 05

  Absolutely, yeah, throw it all away right now.

• 54:53Bobby Lee?

  Would you really throw it away? Kevin, how about you?

• 54:55Speaker 06

  What, no?

• 54:56Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 54:57Speaker 06

  No.

• 54:57Andrew Santino?

  Now, you're not gonna leave your wife for Rose?

• 54:59Speaker 06

  No.

• 54:59Speaker 03

  Number one, goo.

• 55:00Speaker 05

  And of course I wouldn't.

• 55:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Taylor Swift.

• 55:06Bobby Lee?

  What Kev?

• 55:07Speaker 06

  What?

• 55:07Bobby Lee?

  You would?

• 55:08Speaker 06

  I wouldn't, no, no, no, no.

• 55:09Bobby Lee?

  You don't like Asian girls?

• 55:10Speaker 06

  No, I do like Asian, I used to, I've dated an Asian.

• 55:12Speaker 05

  I think we talked about it before, yeah.

• 55:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 55:14Andrew Santino?

  Well, white's number one on your list, isn't it?

• 55:16Speaker 06

  Uh...

• 55:18Andrew Santino?

  You always say, "Keep it white," that's what he says.

• 55:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:20Andrew Santino?

  Keep it white, baby.

• 55:21Speaker 06

  No.

• 55:21Bobby Lee?

  You're married to a white?

• 55:23Speaker 06

  I'm married to a white, yeah.

• 55:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:25Speaker 06

  Yeah, she's a good looking, she's a good looking gal.

• 55:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not questioning that, I'm questioning the racism.

• 55:29Andrew Santino?

  He just did the Trump thing, "She's a good looking." She's a good looking.

• 55:33Speaker 06

  You look at her, she's good.

• 55:34Andrew Santino?

  What's been going on with the dogs, I haven't seen you guys in a long time. On tour, running around?

• 55:38Speaker 06

  On tour, the Back on the Block tour, um, getting by is what we're doing.

• 55:43Andrew Santino?

  What are you talking about, you guys are cruising.

• 55:44Speaker 06

  We're getting by.

• 55:45Speaker 05

  Rough summer, we had a rough summer.

• 55:46Andrew Santino?

  Why, why'd you tour in the summer?

• 55:48Speaker 05

  We didn't tour in the summer, we were off, Kippy had a baby.

• 55:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, congratulations, the first one?

• 55:53Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, first one.

• 55:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, congratulations.

• 55:55Speaker 06

  It's a white one, too.

• 55:55Andrew Santino?

  Let's guess the name.

• 55:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:57Andrew Santino?

  We'll get, we'll do-

• 55:58Bobby Lee?

  Donovan.

• 55:59Speaker 05

  That's really good.

• 56:00Speaker 06

  A Big McNabb guy.

• 56:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, uh...

• 56:02Andrew Santino?

  Chat.

• 56:03Speaker 06

  That is some, you're attacking my whiteness?

• 56:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I, because you're an artist, so I think it's-

• 56:08Speaker 06

  I'm an artist?

• 56:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's gonna be a little artsy.

• 56:10Andrew Santino?

  I call a guy fat for a living.

• 56:13Andrew Santino?

  An artist, I used to be able to.

• 56:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 56:15Andrew Santino?

  You call him fat, I do the Asian thing.

• 56:17Bobby Lee?

  Devin.

• 56:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  Devin.

• 56:19Andrew Santino?

  Kevin and Devin?

• 56:20Speaker 05

  Devin's good.

• 56:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what is it?

• 56:21Speaker 06

  What?

• 56:22Bobby Lee?

  The baby's name.

• 56:22Andrew Santino?

  Marcus.

• 56:23Speaker 06

  Marcus, no, we went with Dan.

• 56:26Andrew Santino?

  Dan, Daniel.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Dan?

• 56:27Speaker 05

  Daniel.

• 56:28Andrew Santino?

  Daniel's-

• 56:28Bobby Lee?

  You went with Dan?

• 56:30Andrew Santino?

  Daniel's-

• 56:30Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 56:31Speaker 05

  He was gonna go with Earthquake.

• 56:32Speaker 06

  I don't know that-

• 56:36Bobby Lee?

  I ain't never met a bitch named Cadalisa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 56:40Andrew Santino?

  Mr. Pat?

• 56:41Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:42Bobby Lee?

  What, I mean, was that, was that a hard struggle to come up with that?

• 56:44Andrew Santino?

  Irish, Irish, some old Irish fucking thing.

• 56:47Speaker 05

  That's how we do it.

• 56:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 56:48Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 56:48Speaker 05

  That's how we do it.

• 56:49Andrew Santino?

  That's some Irish pig shit.

• 56:50Bobby Lee?

  But it's not like I'm gonna fucking name my kid Chong.

• 56:54Andrew Santino?

  Should.

• 56:55Bobby Lee?

  Chong Lee?

• 56:55Andrew Santino?

  Ching and Chong would be amazing.

• 56:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:57Andrew Santino?

  Good name, good boy, strong lad.

• 56:59Speaker 06

  It's a family name.

• 57:00Andrew Santino?

  You gonna do this whole fucking game where people are like, "Using the top birth percentile of his, all that bullshit?"

• 57:04Speaker 06

  He's a big fat baby.

• 57:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, see, I know, that's what they do.

• 57:06Speaker 05

  Ninety-nine, he's ninety-nine.

• 57:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, let me guess the weight, the weight was?

• 57:10Speaker 06

  Him? Four fifteen.

• 57:13Andrew Santino?

  The way that Dan, your boy-

• 57:14Speaker 05

  Went full term.

• 57:15Speaker 06

  At Born? At Born? I don't remember. I don't know any of them.

• 57:18Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 57:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't remember.

• 57:19Bobby Lee?

  But H, when you look at the baby-

• 57:21Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 57:22Bobby Lee?

  Does, do you feel like-

• 57:22Speaker 06

  Does it look like you?

• 57:24Speaker 05

  No, doesn't look like me.

• 57:25Bobby Lee?

  Does it feel like, do you love the baby? I mean, he's your best friend, right? One of your best friends?

• 57:28Speaker 05

  Love the baby.

• 57:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 05

  Adorable Irish baby.

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  So if Kevin passed away- Would you-

• 57:34Speaker 06

  I always love coming to talk to these guys.

• 57:37Speaker 05

  No, I love-

• 57:37Bobby Lee?

  Would you take care, would you take-

• 57:38Speaker 06

  It was a good time.

• 57:39Speaker 05

  He wouldn't let me.

• 57:40Andrew Santino?

  So who's the godfather? Don't you have a godfather?

• 57:42Speaker 06

  Not yet.

• 57:42Andrew Santino?

  You gotta pick somebody.

• 57:43Bobby Lee?

  It's gotta be-

• 57:43Speaker 06

  I will.

• 57:44Bobby Lee?

  It's gotta be-

• 57:44Speaker 06

  I gotta, I'm gonna go my brother.

• 57:46Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, it's gotta be, let me, let me push for H.

• 57:48Andrew Santino?

  No, he's gotta be his brother.

• 57:48Speaker 06

  No, I would love to hear this. Please state your case, Mr.

• 57:52Bobby Lee?

  Mr. What? You were gonna say something. Go ahead.

• 57:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, Chong, or whatever it is.

• 57:55Speaker 06

  No, I'm gonna say, Mr. Bobby Lee, my good dear friend.

• 57:57Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Um, I don't know your brother, so this is tough.

• 58:02Andrew Santino?

  He's on that super fentanyl we were talking about earlier.

• 58:05Speaker 05

  Would you give me your kid if you passed away?

• 58:08Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, he would be first in line.

• 58:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, he's not him.

• 58:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What do you mean? My relationship with him, you don't have the same relationship with H?

• 58:16Speaker 06

  I do.

• 58:17Speaker 05

  But I'm not Andrew.

• 58:19Speaker 06

  That would be like if-

• 58:19Andrew Santino?

  I don't even know what that means.

• 58:20Bobby Lee?

  What is going on?

• 58:20Speaker 06

  That would be like if Andrew left his kid with you.

• 58:23Andrew Santino?

  I would.

• 58:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Andrew would leave.

• 58:25Andrew Santino?

  I would leave my kid with him.

• 58:26Bobby Lee?

  I'd leave my kid with him.

• 58:27Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 58:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and he would be my godfather.

• 58:29Speaker 05

  I would leave my kid with him, but not the other way.

• 58:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so what's your fucking problem?

• 58:32Speaker 05

  Cause he has better prospects.

• 58:34Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 58:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 58:36Speaker 05

  And I'm an idiot. I'm a moron.

• 58:37Bobby Lee?

  You're my only prospect.

• 58:38Andrew Santino?

  You're not a moron, buddy. There's no chance.

• 58:42Speaker 06

  I don't know, it seems like they're turning against me. You don't, you don't seem like a moron, a moron.

• 58:46Bobby Lee?

  You're not a moron, dude. I, I, of course, uh, name me a state and, uh, city in Kansas.

• 58:51Andrew Santino?

  And see, the question is confusing.

• 58:54Speaker 06

  That's a bit of a trick question.

• 58:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:56Speaker 05

  Uh? Kansas City.

• 58:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly. So boom.

• 58:58Andrew Santino?

  Capital of California.

• 59:00Speaker 05

  Um, fuck. It's not LA. It's, uh-

• 59:05Bobby Lee?

  Starts with an S.

• 59:06Speaker 05

  Stop Sacramento.

• 59:07Andrew Santino?

  There it is.

• 59:08Bobby Lee?

  There we go.

• 59:08Andrew Santino?

  Capital.

• 59:08Speaker 06

  You know what? Take my baby.

• 59:10Andrew Santino?

  Yay!

• 59:11Speaker 05

  Thanks buddy.

• 59:12Andrew Santino?

  I knew that's all it took.

• 59:13Speaker 05

  I would want that, but no, it'd be bad.

• 59:15Andrew Santino?

  You have kids? You don't have kids?

• 59:15Speaker 05

  No kids.

• 59:16Andrew Santino?

  No kids.

• 59:16Bobby Lee?

  Ask me a question.

• 59:19Speaker 06

  What is the capital of Pennsylvania?

• 59:21Bobby Lee?

  Pittsburgh.

• 59:22Speaker 06

  No.

• 59:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck. Do you know?

• 59:24Speaker 05

  Name something that comes with hot pot.

• 59:27Bobby Lee?

  Hot pot?

• 59:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:27Bobby Lee?

  Potatoes.

• 59:28Speaker 05

  Pretty good.

• 59:29Bobby Lee?

  Very thank you.

• 59:30Andrew Santino?

  That's actually very funny.

• 59:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:31Andrew Santino?

  We tried this one time. We did the, are you smarter than a fifth grader? We lost.

• 59:34Bobby Lee?

  I lost.

• 59:34Andrew Santino?

  We failed every fucking question.

• 59:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, we've done, we did it on Patreon.

• 59:37Andrew Santino?

  But are you guys, are you guys college graduates?

• 59:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 59:40Andrew Santino?

  Which one?

• 59:40Speaker 06

  I am, uh, I went to Temple.

• 59:42Andrew Santino?

  That's a good school. What about you?

• 59:44Speaker 05

  I flunked that softball year.

• 59:45Andrew Santino?

  God is good. Where?

• 59:47Speaker 05

  Uh, Widener University. Shout out to them. Played football.

• 59:51Andrew Santino?

  Hey. Widener?

• 59:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, Widener's awesome.

• 59:53Andrew Santino?

  Alright.

• 59:54Speaker 05

  You know it?

• 59:54Andrew Santino?

  I went to Skinnier.

• 59:57Speaker 05

  Our rivals.

• 59:59Andrew Santino?

  We beat you guys all the time.

• 1:00:00Speaker 06

  Could never catch them.

• 1:00:01Andrew Santino?

  Uh, the game's over, I guess. Um, no, I went to Arizona State, dude. I'm a fucking, I'm a Dumbo Bumbo.

• 1:00:07Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's a big dummy.

• 1:00:08Speaker 05

  People always say that. Not in Arizona. I think they're awesome schools.

• 1:00:11Andrew Santino?

  No, well, they're fun.

• 1:00:12Speaker 05

  Hot Chet's a party school.

• 1:00:13Speaker 06

  The one that like a lazy river? That was like always the big thing.

• 1:00:15Andrew Santino?

  It was a great rumor and they, and they also said 90% acceptance rate. Let's go!

• 1:00:20Speaker 06

  That's pretty good. Can you check Temple Universities?

• 1:00:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's gotta be like 30. I bet you it's under 50.

• 1:00:24Speaker 06

  No, it's, it's, it's.

• 1:00:26Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 1:00:26Speaker 06

  They have like, they claim they had, they have like 500,000 students. They have like the biggest.

• 1:00:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're just as high as us. Hey, what's the school? What school has the highest acceptance rate? Do that. I want to know what that is. Let's take a guess. My guess would be Florida State.

• 1:00:38Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:00:39Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta be a state.

• 1:00:39Speaker 06

  No, but it's like, ah.

• 1:00:42Speaker 05

  Penn State maybe.

• 1:00:43Speaker 06

  No, they just have so many.

• 1:00:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah, College of Staten Island, yes.

• 1:00:46Speaker 06

  Oh, SUNY, yeah, that makes.

• 1:00:48Andrew Santino?

  SUNY's like, 98% rate, University of Mississippi is cited with a 98%, so everyone could go to Mississippi.

• 1:00:54Bobby Lee?

  If I was denied at Dixie University, am I?

• 1:00:58Speaker 06

  Bobby, did you go to college or no?

• 1:01:00Speaker 05

  No, they didn't go to college.

• 1:01:01Bobby Lee?

  I didn't get one to nothing.

• 1:01:02Andrew Santino?

  Why would he need to? Look at this, huh?

• 1:01:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:03Bobby Lee?

  I'm a brainiac, dude. Ask me anything.

• 1:01:05Speaker 05

  He was already.

• 1:01:06Speaker 06

  I'm a brainiac.

• 1:01:06Bobby Lee?

  Potatoes, hot pot.

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  Weren't you already working like right after high school?

• 1:01:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, in a sweatshop, yeah. Making Nikes. Is that what you're saying?

• 1:01:13Andrew Santino?

  In fact, yeah, he made those.

• 1:01:14Bobby Lee?

  I made those.

• 1:01:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:15Speaker 06

  They're a little, I got, I got some notes for you.

• 1:01:19Speaker 05

  No, you were already cruising in entertainment a little bit, right?

• 1:01:21Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, I started at 23.

• 1:01:22Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 1:01:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. No, I, from, from high school to 23, no future, almo- almost die.

• 1:01:28Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 1:01:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:29Speaker 05

  Your parents must have been pissed.

• 1:01:30Bobby Lee?

  I had no future. I, I, I had no idea what I was gonna do.

• 1:01:33Andrew Santino?

  You guys got six guys on the road with you?

• 1:01:34Bobby Lee?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:35Andrew Santino?

  What are you talking, a videographer, producer?

• 1:01:37Speaker 06

  Videographer.

• 1:01:37Andrew Santino?

  Page manager?

• 1:01:38Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, we got a guy, Di-ops, we call him, director of operations. He gave himself that title.

• 1:01:43Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:01:43Speaker 06

  Pretty much drives the van and stuff. Uh, nah, he's our boy Ryan D. Um.

• 1:01:47Speaker 05

  He's our fixer.

• 1:01:48Speaker 06

  He's great. Uh, we got him, we got a, uh, two openers and a producer and then us two.

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  Two openers, comics that we might know or no?

• 1:01:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, Colin Chamberlain and Sam Rubenoff.

• 1:01:58Speaker 06

  So, no.

• 1:01:58Speaker 05

  Right now.

• 1:01:59Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, like, New York guys, Colin Chamberlain and, and Sam Rubenoff.

• 1:02:02Speaker 05

  Colin works with, uh, Jessica Carson a lot.

• 1:02:04Andrew Santino?

  And, and Sam is Jewish.

• 1:02:06Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:02:06Speaker 05

  Sam is Jew.

• 1:02:07Speaker 06

  You have a resident, you gotta have one.

• 1:02:08Andrew Santino?

  You gotta have.

• 1:02:08Speaker 06

  Sam operating in LA, you gotta have a Jew.

• 1:02:10Andrew Santino?

  Trust me, I know.

• 1:02:11Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:02:11Andrew Santino?

  You guys do the bus when you're on the road or no?

• 1:02:13Speaker 06

  We have, uh, we've done the bus.

• 1:02:15Andrew Santino?

  Fuck that.

• 1:02:15Speaker 06

  I kinda like the bus. You don't like it?

• 1:02:18Andrew Santino?

  We'll never do that shit ever again.

• 1:02:20Speaker 06

  We, we love it.

• 1:02:21Andrew Santino?

  This guy had night terrors every fucking night.

• 1:02:22Speaker 06

  Uh, you guys, you got a bad hang.

• 1:02:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:25Speaker 05

  I loved it.

• 1:02:25Andrew Santino?

  Nah, dude, I'd, I'd rather just go to the hotel, get a nice hotel.

• 1:02:29Speaker 06

  I get that.

• 1:02:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:30Speaker 06

  I get that.

• 1:02:31Speaker 05

  You don't like waking up in the new city?

• 1:02:33Andrew Santino?

  No, I like just, I, I like waking up in a nice hotel bed instead of listening to this guy scream bloody murder every fucking night. And then him up till 5:30 playing video games and peeing every fucking night.

• 1:02:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, he does.

• 1:02:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:44Speaker 06

  Bobby!

• 1:02:44Bobby Lee?

  I poo, I poo in the.

• 1:02:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, pooed on the bus.

• 1:02:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:48Andrew Santino?

  Rule number one.

• 1:02:49Speaker 05

  That's not the bus, that's the squad. You guys gotta fucking step it up a little bit.

• 1:02:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Andrew Santino?

  Nah, honestly, fuck this whole team. You don't know, you.

• 1:02:55Speaker 06

  You got a weak crew.

• 1:02:56Speaker 05

  Uh, my favorite is with Bert, being on the bus with Bert.

• 1:02:58Andrew Santino?

  Well, he's got nine buses.

• 1:02:59Speaker 05

  I sleep like a baby when he, when.

• 1:03:01Bobby Lee?

  I almost died, remember? I fell off the fucking bunk.

• 1:03:03Speaker 06

  I remember, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:03Andrew Santino?

  You guys did that tour with him?

• 1:03:05Speaker 06

  No, no, we weren't on that, but I, I, I mean, Nash, that was National Headline, I saw that on fucking, uh.

• 1:03:09Andrew Santino?

  Well, he posted about it so he could cancel shows. Unfortunately, probably will not be performing tonight.

• 1:03:14Speaker 06

  I'll be back in 2026.

• 1:03:15Speaker 05

  What the fuck happened?

• 1:03:16Andrew Santino?

  I cut to my rib.

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so I was on the, I was on the top bunk. It was pitch black, like, 3:00 in the morning.

• 1:03:20Andrew Santino?

  Which he shouldn't be in the first place.

• 1:03:21Speaker 06

  Nah, you're a bottom bunk guy.

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  I, I, oh, I also asked people.

• 1:03:25Speaker 05

  I'm a bottom bunk guy.

• 1:03:25Bobby Lee?

  I asked people, hey, can I get the bottom? I have little legs.

• 1:03:28Speaker 06

  That's, that's on.

• 1:03:28Bobby Lee?

  They're like, no, I claimed it.

• 1:03:30Speaker 06

  That's fucked up.

• 1:03:30Bobby Lee?

  Like, bullshit.

• 1:03:31Andrew Santino?

  Dan Soder, shame on you.

• 1:03:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So I'm on the top bunk, right? It's pitch black. I don't know where, we're in the middle of the south somewhere, right? I opened up the curtain, right? And I have to go to the bathroom, so I, I take my hand, but I can't see it, to brace myself on the opposite side of the other bunk. The ledge, and I miss it. And I just, I fall forward, and I hit my mouth on the fucking thing.

• 1:03:57Andrew Santino?

  This guy thinks he's gonna reach across the bus. His arms are like a foot long. Got T-Rex arms.

• 1:04:02Speaker 05

  Did anybody wake up?

• 1:04:03Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:04:04Speaker 05

  Anybody wake up?

• 1:04:04Bobby Lee?

  No one woke up, and I was on the ground, knocked unconscious.

• 1:04:07Andrew Santino?

  They woke up, they were like, meh.

• 1:04:08Speaker 05

  You got knocked out?

• 1:04:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and there was just blood everywhere. So I go to the front of the bus, I sit there, and I go to the driver and I go, "I think I need to go to hospital." And he goes, "No, man, we're seven hours away." I go, "I'm bleeding, I think I need stitches." No, seven hours, dude. And I start testing Bert, everybody, no one replies.

• 1:04:28Andrew Santino?

  Everyone's asleep.

• 1:04:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm just sitting there, just in a pool of blood for like hours. It was fucking terrible.

• 1:04:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, get a paper towel, put some ice on it, suck it.

• 1:04:36Bobby Lee?

  I did all that, what do you think, dude?

• 1:04:38Speaker 05

  Did you need stitches?

• 1:04:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he did.

• 1:04:41Bobby Lee?

  I've got like a bunch of stitches and uh...

• 1:04:42Andrew Santino?

  Three, he got three.

• 1:04:44Speaker 06

  I knew a bunch was a big thing.

• 1:04:47Bobby Lee?

  Wait, what do you mean?

• 1:04:48Andrew Santino?

  Well, he said you didn't get fifteen, you got three.

• 1:04:50Bobby Lee?

  I got a lot.

• 1:04:51Andrew Santino?

  Three.

• 1:04:53Speaker 05

  What's it saying in the lawsuit? Forty-five stitches, broken neck.

• 1:04:57Bobby Lee?

  And you know what was great? And this is Bert and, you know, the whole team.

• 1:05:01Andrew Santino?

  Leanne.

• 1:05:02Bobby Lee?

  Leanne, yeah, the whole team.

• 1:05:03Speaker 06

  Squad, love the squad.

• 1:05:04Bobby Lee?

  The squad, and they were like, you know, obviously go home, but they paid me for the gigs.

• 1:05:09Speaker 06

  Great.

• 1:05:11Bobby Lee?

  Which is so cool.

• 1:05:12Andrew Santino?

  That's what he liked the most.

• 1:05:14Andrew Santino?

  Every time we go on tour, he's gonna fall off a bunk. Oh, I can't put up home.

• 1:05:17Speaker 05

  That's getting off cheap, they're probably worried you're gonna fucking...

• 1:05:20Bobby Lee?

  I would never do it, even if I died, I wouldn't do it.

• 1:05:22Andrew Santino?

  Not to Bert and Leanne, there's other people we would sue, but not them, you can't sue them.

• 1:05:25Bobby Lee?

  You can't meet better people.

• 1:05:27Andrew Santino?

  No, they're probably, they're probably two of the best people I've ever...

• 1:05:29Bobby Lee?

  Leanne, oh my, come on, she's the best.

• 1:05:31Andrew Santino?

  You know what's so funny though, the bus thing, our driver, that was also, that guy was a fucking lunatic.

• 1:05:36Speaker 06

  We had a lunatic.

• 1:05:37Andrew Santino?

  Mega Man, what the fuck was his nickname? He had like a, he was like a superhero nickname. One night I wake up, because the bus is like, you know, this, and I'm like... Dude, what's going on? I walk up there and I pop up the curtain open, you know what I mean? Uh huh. I pop off the buttons. This motherfucker is going off on his wife. Do you remember this? That's awesome. He's yelling at this dude. That's awesome. He's like, "That's what I fucking said!" "Cause that's what it's to fucking be." And he's yelling into his headset mic. And so, I was like, he's wide, he's wide awake, so I clipped the button back on, went back and laid it. I thought he might be dozing.

• 1:06:10Speaker 06

  That dude's not going to sleep for six more hours.

• 1:06:13Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:06:13Speaker 06

  He's locked in.

• 1:06:14Andrew Santino?

  We'll see you later, Salt Lake City. We'll be there. Fucking bitch.

• 1:06:16Speaker 06

  We, uh...

• 1:06:17Andrew Santino?

  I hated it though.

• 1:06:18Speaker 06

  We had one that broke down. We did like Route 66. And we had one that broke down and barely made the gig, like pulled in as like, you know.

• 1:06:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, see?

• 1:06:27Speaker 06

  It was, we had to sleep on the bus just parked in Tulsa or something like...

• 1:06:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that was scary.

• 1:06:31Speaker 06

  In a sketch, like behind the venue, cause he couldn't get the bus started.

• 1:06:34Andrew Santino?

  Did you guys go to Memphis by any chance?

• 1:06:35Speaker 06

  Nah.

• 1:06:36Andrew Santino?

  We'll never... Well, you can bring up Memphis. I fucking hated it. It was PTSD.

• 1:06:40Speaker 06

  Like the venue, like the show?

• 1:06:42Andrew Santino?

  We tanked shit in a way we've never... I bombed so hard.

• 1:06:45Speaker 06

  They had, that just happened.

• 1:06:46Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. But the city of Memphis is also... It's a special kind of bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Recently? Yeah. Couple of years ago. Two years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it was so bad. We've stayed... We were on the Elvises. We were on Graceland. We played fucking the Graceland stages.

• 1:06:58Speaker 06

  Ah.

• 1:06:59Andrew Santino?

  And we're thinking, "This is the best, dude, we're at the fucking..."

• 1:07:01Speaker 06

  Lay up.

• 1:07:02Andrew Santino?

  Dude, nope, tank shit. And then we were also like, "Can we go get something to eat?" And they're like, "I don't recommend it." Yeah. It's not the nicest area. And I was like, "Well, we're hungry." That was the room. You guys don't have bad gigs?

• 1:07:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, yeah.

• 1:07:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, every once in a while.

• 1:07:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 1:07:15Andrew Santino?

  Worst gigs, say, "What's the, what's the city that you tanked?" They're not gonna name a city. No, that you tanked the hardest in. On the tour, what was that? Where were we?

• 1:07:20Speaker 06

  Oh, it was that one that we pulled into, uh, it wasn't Salt Lake, somewhere down there in the, in the southwest.

• 1:07:26Andrew Santino?

  Like a Denver-ish kinda town, but in, I think, Arizona. What was Phoenix? Phoenix, Tucson. Flagstaff.

• 1:07:33Speaker 06

  Flagstaff.

• 1:07:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:35Speaker 06

  We fucking, I mean, it was like, we were Flagstaff on a Wednesday, fucking Soul Blight.

• 1:07:40Andrew Santino?

  Is that the venue? That was the one we played. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. Flagstaff got you, huh?

• 1:07:45Speaker 06

  It was, it was just, and it was, and like, it was, it was one of those things, they ended up like, like they had a good time and like, but we just...

• 1:07:51Andrew Santino?

  I could tell you our fans in Memphis did not have a good time. Not with us.

• 1:07:55Speaker 06

  They, we just didn't love it as much.

• 1:07:56Andrew Santino?

  Flag's also pretty beautiful. A lot of people, a lot of whites like to go up there and get married in here.

• 1:07:59Speaker 06

  It's beautiful, yeah.

• 1:08:00Andrew Santino?

  A lot of cash up there.

• 1:08:01Speaker 06

  Uh, one thing we did do to circumvent the bus, cause the one the bus is very...

• 1:08:04Andrew Santino?

  Circumvent, what does that mean?

• 1:08:06Speaker 06

  Go around.

• 1:08:06Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:08:07Speaker 06

  Um...

• 1:08:07Andrew Santino?

  See, no college. Don't use big words around my friend, man.

• 1:08:09Speaker 06

  My apologies.

• 1:08:10Andrew Santino?

  Being condescending.

• 1:08:11Speaker 06

  My apologies.

• 1:08:12Speaker 05

  Uh, let us reiterate.

• 1:08:14Speaker 06

  That staff's pretty good. They had that, they had circumvent up.

• 1:08:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:16Andrew Santino?

  Find a way around.

• 1:08:17Speaker 06

  Uh, we bought a, we bought a very nice, the nicest conversion van we could buy. And we kind of used that as the tour bus. Like we'll do runs, die ops, our boy Ryan D will drive it out to Michigan. He'll pick us up at the airport in Michigan and then that we're cruising around in that for the week.

• 1:08:34Andrew Santino?

  Wait, why Michigan?

• 1:08:35Speaker 06

  Or like wherever the runs.

• 1:08:36Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I was like, yeah, you guys aren't living, are you guys living in New York? Where do you live?

• 1:08:39Speaker 05

  Queens.

• 1:08:40Andrew Santino?

  Queens, kid. Both of you?

• 1:08:41Speaker 06

  Nah, I got a Manhattan.

• 1:08:43Andrew Santino?

  You're not getting that.

• 1:08:43Speaker 06

  And I'm only in Iowa.

• 1:08:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're not getting that Austin itch, huh?

• 1:08:46Speaker 06

  Nah.

• 1:08:48Speaker 05

  The heat would kill me.

• 1:08:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, true, genuinely, yeah, that'd be bad.

• 1:08:51Bobby Lee?

  You guys dread being here? Not bad friends, but LA.

• 1:08:54Speaker 05

  Nah, I love LA. I don't have any of that shit that other people say.

• 1:08:56Bobby Lee?

  That's what I like about you.

• 1:08:57Speaker 05

  I don't like it. It's, uh, you know, it's vapid.

• 1:09:00Bobby Lee?

  Hey, troop, troop.

• 1:09:01Andrew Santino?

  Get the check, please.

• 1:09:02Bobby Lee?

  What's up, troop, troop?

• 1:09:03Speaker 05

  I love it.

• 1:09:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't hate it. I'm not one of those guys. I just don't love it. It's just not, uh, I enjoy my time out here. I like seeing my friends.

• 1:09:10Andrew Santino?

  I get it.

• 1:09:11Speaker 06

  We stay, we got a fucking very nice house in the hills. We're having a bit, the whole.

• 1:09:14Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you rented a crib for the kids?

• 1:09:15Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:09:16Andrew Santino?

  What are we talking about, huh?

• 1:09:17Speaker 06

  Nice, nice property.

• 1:09:19Speaker 05

  Good place to OD at.

• 1:09:21Andrew Santino?

  Is it Airbnb?

• 1:09:22Speaker 06

  Airbnb looked up, looked it up on Zillow, 6.5 million bucks.

• 1:09:25Bobby Lee?

  Well, how long are you guys in town, how long are you in town for? How, but let me get that right. Let me say it again.

• 1:09:30Andrew Santino?

  Circumvent.

• 1:09:31Bobby Lee?

  Circumvent. How long are you guys in town for?

• 1:09:34Speaker 05

  Until Thursday.

• 1:09:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, we were here Saturday to Thursday.

• 1:09:37Speaker 05

  We called you, you didn't answer.

• 1:09:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he loves taking people to dinner.

• 1:09:39Speaker 05

  I was looking for your car in the parking lot to see what you were whipping around and.

• 1:09:42Andrew Santino?

  I don't, I don't drive anymore, man. Not after the accident.

• 1:09:45Speaker 05

  What accident?

• 1:09:46Bobby Lee?

  You don't even care about his accident? He almost died.

• 1:09:47Speaker 05

  Nah.

• 1:09:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:09:48Speaker 05

  Is that true?

• 1:09:49Andrew Santino?

  I hit, I hit.

• 1:09:49Speaker 05

  You're fucking with me.

• 1:09:50Andrew Santino?

  No, I, I hit a couple.

• 1:09:51Bobby Lee?

  Look at his eye.

• 1:09:52Andrew Santino?

  Look at my eye. My eye's all fucked up. I hit a couple.

• 1:09:54Speaker 06

  That was pink eye. Seen that all funny.

• 1:09:56Bobby Lee?

  It was bad. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault, though.

• 1:09:58Andrew Santino?

  Well, I mean, I was drinking, but yeah, it was.

• 1:10:00Speaker 06

  All right, easy does it.

• 1:10:04Andrew Santino?

  No, it's not funny.

• 1:10:05Bobby Lee?

  Why would you joke about it?

• 1:10:06Andrew Santino?

  No, I shouldn't. Didn't joke about it.

• 1:10:08Bobby Lee?

  I mean, they almost, I mean, he, I mean, he almost died, dude.

• 1:10:11Speaker 05

  Nah.

• 1:10:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude, it's in fucking Hollywood Reporter.

• 1:10:13Andrew Santino?

  Hollywood Reporter brought it up.

• 1:10:14Bobby Lee?

  And Deadline.

• 1:10:14Speaker 06

  Pull it up, let's see if they're that.

• 1:10:15Andrew Santino?

  That's my, that's my ticket there from the hospital.

• 1:10:17Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 1:10:18Speaker 05

  Holy shit.

• 1:10:19Bobby Lee?

  It was really bad, dude. It was really bad.

• 1:10:21Speaker 05

  Did you get knocked out?

• 1:10:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude, I was there for three days at the hospital. It was fucking terrible.

• 1:10:24Andrew Santino?

  I don't remember anything for almost a week.

• 1:10:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:26Andrew Santino?

  Almost a week, like five days.

• 1:10:27Speaker 05

  Who was this?

• 1:10:27Bobby Lee?

  Dude, he was hooked up with machines. It was insane, dude.

• 1:10:30Speaker 05

  He's lying.

• 1:10:31Bobby Lee?

  No, dude.

• 1:10:31Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:10:32Speaker 06

  Pull it up. Let me see the Hollywood Reporter.

• 1:10:34Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, here's.

• 1:10:35Andrew Santino?

  I would have heard that.

• 1:10:36Bobby Lee?

  We, we are gonna pull it up, but here's already.

• 1:10:38Speaker 06

  Once they type it up.

• 1:10:39Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, what I'm gonna say.

• 1:10:40Speaker 06

  Get the domain, the domain.

• 1:10:41Bobby Lee?

  Hey, Kevin, will you listen?

• 1:10:42Speaker 06

  Nope. Yeah. Sorry.

• 1:10:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:10:46Speaker 06

  I got excited.

• 1:10:46Bobby Lee?

  Right now, you have sad eyes.

• 1:10:48Speaker 06

  You just complimented him.

• 1:10:49Bobby Lee?

  I know, but they're drooping, they're sad, and I don't like it.

• 1:10:52Speaker 05

  He's tired.

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  So what I'm gonna say is, before we look it up, I wanna say this, all right? Already, will you look at me right now? I'm not done talking.

• 1:10:59Speaker 05

  Go.

• 1:11:00Bobby Lee?

  All right? We told you a fact.

• 1:11:02Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 1:11:03Bobby Lee?

  And you doubted it.

• 1:11:04Andrew Santino?

  That's right, yeah.

• 1:11:05Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 1:11:05Bobby Lee?

  Which means there's division between our teams.

• 1:11:08Andrew Santino?

  That's right, yeah.

• 1:11:09Bobby Lee?

  Right? We're not cohesive.

• 1:11:11Speaker 05

  No, we're just not suckers.

• 1:11:12Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:11:13Speaker 05

  We know what you two are up to. We lie all the time.

• 1:11:14Andrew Santino?

  There you go. Community manager Santino formally said that he crashed his Kia Sorento. Incident appears to have been minor.

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  2001.

• 1:11:20Speaker 06

  2021.

• 1:11:21Andrew Santino?

  It was a 2021 Kia Sorento. That's, that's wrong.

• 1:11:24Bobby Lee?

  He's been in the hospital for three, four, five years.

• 1:11:28Speaker 06

  Every day.

• 1:11:29Bobby Lee?

  I was only there for three days. Out of those four years, Dan.

• 1:11:31Andrew Santino?

  That was one of my favorite bits. I always kept saying, I, I got.

• 1:11:33Bobby Lee?

  Really good, though.

• 1:11:34Andrew Santino?

  I crashed a Kia Sorento.

• 1:11:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:36Andrew Santino?

  People fuck, for some reason, they're, but if you said you got in a car accident, you're like, yeah, dude, I crashed my old Kia Sorento. People are like, damn. Like, they buy it right away.

• 1:11:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Andrew Santino?

  I don't know why the car validates the accident.

• 1:11:45Speaker 05

  I was gonna make fun of you for driving a Kia.

• 1:11:46Speaker 06

  I was a Kia, man.

• 1:11:47Andrew Santino?

  What do you drive, fat flashy guy?

• 1:11:49Speaker 05

  I drive a.

• 1:11:50Andrew Santino?

  You live in Queens. You don't have a car. Do you have a car?

• 1:11:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, I got a Jeep.

• 1:11:52Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:11:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, so he's better than a Kia? Hot shot?

• 1:11:56Speaker 05

  Yeah. I have a question. Bobby, are you dating anybody? Can you talk about that or no? Okay.

• 1:12:02Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, I'm absorbing what you're asking.

• 1:12:04Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:12:05Bobby Lee?

  And um, I'm gonna answer you properly.

• 1:12:07Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:12:07Bobby Lee?

  Um, yes, I am. Okay. Hey, great. Yeah, um, I'm getting a lot of shit because they're white women.

• 1:12:13Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:12:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:12:14Andrew Santino?

  They're all white women.

• 1:12:15Speaker 05

  So you're dating casually, you're not in a relationship?

• 1:12:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:18Speaker 05

  That's cool.

• 1:12:18Bobby Lee?

  And my Asian, you know, friends and family are going, what's up, dude?

• 1:12:22Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:12:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I'm like, I don't, those are the ones that like me.

• 1:12:24Andrew Santino?

  Who, what do your friends and family say, what?

• 1:12:26Bobby Lee?

  What's up, dude?

• 1:12:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Mexican? No, that's...

• 1:12:29Andrew Santino?

  Some of them, yeah.

• 1:12:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, some of them.

• 1:12:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, no, but they go, um...

• 1:12:31Speaker 05

  Do other Asian celebrities give you shit for that kinda stuff?

• 1:12:34Andrew Santino?

  They don't talk to him.

• 1:12:35Speaker 05

  No?

• 1:12:37Bobby Lee?

  No, you, what, he, he, like, you look at Steven Yeun.

• 1:12:40Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:12:40Bobby Lee?

  He's da- nice Asian woman.

• 1:12:42Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:12:42Bobby Lee?

  John Cho, nice Asian woman.

• 1:12:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:44Bobby Lee?

  I just, I can't...

• 1:12:46Andrew Santino?

  What's your problem?

• 1:12:46Bobby Lee?

  Because those Asian women find me to be unclean, which I'm not. Very clean man. Excuse me? A very, you're a very clean man. Yeah, but people think, but based on my, um, online presence or whatever, that I'm a dirty fucker.

• 1:12:58Speaker 05

  The booger reading and stuff like that? The booger eating and stuff like that?

• 1:13:02Bobby Lee?

  Well, I, have you not?

• 1:13:04Speaker 05

  Of course, yeah.

• 1:13:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:13:05Andrew Santino?

  I've never done it.

• 1:13:06Bobby Lee?

  Me either.

• 1:13:07Andrew Santino?

  Never once.

• 1:13:07Bobby Lee?

  You've eaten your boogers?

• 1:13:08Speaker 05

  I've eaten my boogers, yeah, when I was a, yeah.

• 1:13:10Andrew Santino?

  No, I never did it, not interested.

• 1:13:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:12Speaker 05

  What about touching your butthole?

• 1:13:14Andrew Santino?

  If it, if it comes out, it doesn't go back in, that's how I feel.

• 1:13:16Speaker 05

  When's the last time you touched your butthole? Bare finger?

• 1:13:20Andrew Santino?

  I had a, I had a stint, I had to run. I had to run, I got over it, you know what I mean?

• 1:13:25Speaker 05

  Not sexually, just, just touching it.

• 1:13:27Andrew Santino?

  What, not sexually?

• 1:13:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:28Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I was talking about sexually. What do you mean, just touching my butthole just for, for, as, in passing?

• 1:13:32Speaker 05

  Whatever.

• 1:13:32Bobby Lee?

  Like a little boop?

• 1:13:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:34Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:13:35Speaker 05

  Now?

• 1:13:36Andrew Santino?

  He loves it.

• 1:13:37Speaker 05

  Bobby, what about you?

• 1:13:38Bobby Lee?

  I'll do it now.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not afraid of it.

• 1:13:40Andrew Santino?

  Sexually, fine, yeah, if you're, if you're playing with a toy, but I mean, you know what I mean, if you're having fun.

• 1:13:44Speaker 05

  You've done that, with toys on?

• 1:13:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you should see the size of the thing I put in my ass, show him the thing I put in my ass.

• 1:13:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, right, he's lying.

• 1:13:48Andrew Santino?

  He's got it.

• 1:13:49Bobby Lee?

  He's got it.

• 1:13:49Andrew Santino?

  Unbelievable, the thing, the size of this fucking thing.

• 1:13:51Speaker 05

  I wouldn't have suspected that, my man, I like that.

• 1:13:53Andrew Santino?

  You don't know, what do you know, I'm gay.

• 1:13:55Speaker 05

  Are you?

• 1:13:55Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 1:13:56Speaker 05

  Shut up.

• 1:13:56Andrew Santino?

  How long have you known me? Yeah, that thing, I put that...

• 1:13:58Speaker 05

  Whoa! Man, can I borrow that thing?

• 1:14:01Bobby Lee?

  Damn.

• 1:14:02Speaker 05

  Holy shit. No, you're married. I've met your wife, haven't I?

• 1:14:06Andrew Santino?

  So you think.

• 1:14:07Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 1:14:07Andrew Santino?

  You've met my beard.

• 1:14:08Speaker 05

  Nice.

• 1:14:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. No, I'm seeing a couple of guys right now, but none of them.

• 1:14:12Speaker 06

  Nothing serious.

• 1:14:13Andrew Santino?

  Nothing's sticking. No, yeah, I've never touched my butthole unsexually.

• 1:14:18Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:14:18Andrew Santino?

  What are you doing with it?

• 1:14:19Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 1:14:21Andrew Santino?

  Making sure it's there?

• 1:14:22Speaker 05

  Just crossing that line of touching my butthole.

• 1:14:23Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 1:14:24Bobby Lee?

  I have a difficult time committing right now.

• 1:14:27Speaker 06

  To your butthole?

• 1:14:27Speaker 05

  To your butthole?

• 1:14:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:28Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:14:29Andrew Santino?

  It moves.

• 1:14:30Speaker 05

  What do you mean, relationship-wise?

• 1:14:31Bobby Lee?

  What vibrates.

• 1:14:32Speaker 05

  Huh?

• 1:14:33Bobby Lee?

  It goes like that.

• 1:14:34Speaker 05

  Your butthole does?

• 1:14:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and I don't like it's sassy.

• 1:14:36Speaker 05

  Jesus.

• 1:14:37Bobby Lee?

  No, in terms of a woman.

• 1:14:38Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:14:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're playing the field, you're having fun.

• 1:14:40Bobby Lee?

  I'm not playing the field, I wanna find-

• 1:14:41Speaker 05

  You're dating.

• 1:14:42Bobby Lee?

  No, I wanna find, I wanna find, I wanna fall in love.

• 1:14:45Speaker 05

  No, stop that.

• 1:14:46Bobby Lee?

  You don't?

• 1:14:47Speaker 05

  You went through that. How'd that turn out? Get out of here.

• 1:14:49Bobby Lee?

  I know, but-

• 1:14:49Speaker 05

  Enjoy yourself.

• 1:14:50Bobby Lee?

  No, but I'm ready again, I think.

• 1:14:52Speaker 05

  No, that's your mistake.

• 1:14:53Speaker 06

  You're ready, get back up on the horse.

• 1:14:55Bobby Lee?

  I think I'm ready.

• 1:14:56Speaker 05

  Bobby, fall in love with yourself.

• 1:14:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 1:14:59Speaker 05

  That's who you fall in love with.

• 1:15:00Bobby Lee?

  Gay.

• 1:15:00Andrew Santino?

  Nah, fuck that, let him fall in love with a woman.

• 1:15:03Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:15:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know if I'll ever get married.

• 1:15:05Speaker 05

  No, yeah, for sure.

• 1:15:07Andrew Santino?

  How happy are you, you got a boy?

• 1:15:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, very.

• 1:15:10Andrew Santino?

  Are you fucking amped?

• 1:15:11Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:11Andrew Santino?

  Are you nervous?

• 1:15:12Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, it's crazy, I'm still nervous, I don't know what's going on.

• 1:15:15Andrew Santino?

  Did you do a gender reveal thing? You did one of these things?

• 1:15:17Speaker 06

  Nah.

• 1:15:17Andrew Santino?

  Should've, would've, could've did, would've been fun to do it.

• 1:15:19Speaker 05

  Did you? Have you done that?

• 1:15:20Andrew Santino?

  No, I don't have any kids, no.

• 1:15:21Speaker 05

  You don't?

• 1:15:22Andrew Santino?

  No, but if I did, I think I would do the gender reveal, but I'd do it real crazy, you know what I mean? Blow it up, you know what I mean?

• 1:15:27Speaker 06

  You'd do a golf ball, you'd do the golf ball, that's what you gotta do.

• 1:15:31Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I'd like, you know, like light a boat on fire, color of the smoke, you know what I mean? Real extravagant, something obnoxious.

• 1:15:36Speaker 05

  Are you guys gonna have kids? Do you wanna have kids?

• 1:15:38Andrew Santino?

  We can have kids.

• 1:15:39Speaker 05

  No kidding?

• 1:15:40Andrew Santino?

  No, we tried, yeah, it doesn't-

• 1:15:41Speaker 05

  Is he fucking around?

• 1:15:41Bobby Lee?

  Thanks for bringing that up.

• 1:15:42Andrew Santino?

  It can't go through the butthole for some reason, I don't even know why. It's not a loop. I know we thought it was a loop, but it's not a loop. No, we tried, we can't do it.

• 1:15:50Speaker 05

  You being serious?

• 1:15:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we tried.

• 1:15:53Bobby Lee?

  I'd try to get him to adopt, maybe.

• 1:15:54Speaker 05

  Would you wanna do that?

• 1:15:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but a white Slav, you know, little white Slavic baby, they're giving, those are pretty adoptable right now.

• 1:16:00Speaker 05

  Really? Not a little Asian kid?

• 1:16:01Andrew Santino?

  Not white Slavs. Little Asian kid? I got a little Asian kid.

• 1:16:04Speaker 05

  Hey, buddy.

• 1:16:04Andrew Santino?

  I have one. Uh, if I was gonna adopt, um, yeah, I mean, I think that's a whole nother thing. Like, I have friends that were adopted, and that's a whole nother set of things that come along with it.

• 1:16:14Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 1:16:14Andrew Santino?

  So I might, but I don't know, I'm just not sure. The good thing about adoption is you got time, you know what I mean, like, I don't have to do-

• 1:16:20Speaker 06

  Do whatever.

• 1:16:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, do whatever you want.

• 1:16:21Speaker 06

  Not fighting the biological clock.

• 1:16:22Andrew Santino?

  There's always a kid wanting to be adopted. Maybe, seriously, maybe. I'd like to adopt a kid that's like seventeen. Give him one good year.

• 1:16:29Speaker 05

  An athlete, get an athlete.

• 1:16:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, you know what I mean? Get him up to Chaminade, one of those high schools.

• 1:16:34Bobby Lee?

  If you adopted a kid and years later, they want to find their biological family.

• 1:16:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what's tough.

• 1:16:38Bobby Lee?

  Would that hurt your feelings?

• 1:16:40Andrew Santino?

  No, if the adoption is open or closed, right? Some of them are.

• 1:16:43Bobby Lee?

  Even if it was closed, they're like, you know what? Dad, you're a great dad. I mean, even though, you know, you're so angry sometimes, but anyway, um, you know, I'm, I'm going to look for my biological family. Is that okay?

• 1:16:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's good. Go back to China. Is that what you want?

• 1:16:57Speaker 05

  Hold on, Bob.

• 1:16:58Andrew Santino?

  Go back to China, I'll send you right back.

• 1:17:00Bobby Lee?

  That's the reason why.

• 1:17:00Andrew Santino?

  I'll put you in the box that you came in and I'll send you right back. You'll be on the bottom of a Hyundai trailer.

• 1:17:06Bobby Lee?

  See that attitude you're doing right now? That's the reason why I want to find my biological parents, because this is how the way you talk to me.

• 1:17:10Speaker 05

  Wait, hang on a second.

• 1:17:11Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're the only kid I know that didn't get into Mississippi State. How about that? Back to China.

• 1:17:18Speaker 05

  Hang on, so the kid you would adopt would be, the kid that you would adopt would be a bad actor? Is that what's going on here?

• 1:17:24Bobby Lee?

  What was that accent? What?

• 1:17:26Speaker 05

  What was that accent? You're better than that.

• 1:17:27Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 1:17:28Bobby Lee?

  Cleveland, dude.

• 1:17:29Andrew Santino?

  That's it, yeah, that's, that is a outside of Cleveland.

• 1:17:31Bobby Lee?

  Well, let me do it again. I was a kid.

• 1:17:33Speaker 05

  Do Australian.

• 1:17:34Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:17:35Andrew Santino?

  No, do Australian. Yeah, I adopted an Australian kid.

• 1:17:38Speaker 05

  Or do British, I'll give you that, make it easy. Cockney.

• 1:17:41Bobby Lee?

  Dottie.

• 1:17:42Andrew Santino?

  Cockney?

• 1:17:43Speaker 05

  That's not Cockney.

• 1:17:44Andrew Santino?

  Brother, he's not getting dialects.

• 1:17:45Bobby Lee?

  Dottie?

• 1:17:46Andrew Santino?

  Yes, son?

• 1:17:47Bobby Lee?

  I want to find my biological family.

• 1:17:50Andrew Santino?

  Well, they're in China, I told you that.

• 1:17:53Bobby Lee?

  I thought I was British, Dottie.

• 1:17:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, you are, you're a British Chinese kid.

• 1:17:58Bobby Lee?

  You do a kid then.

• 1:18:00Andrew Santino?

  Don't do it, kid. Yeah, don't.

• 1:18:02Bobby Lee?

  We're your gay, we're your gay parents, we adopted you.

• 1:18:05Andrew Santino?

  This is a fantasy we play out all the time.

• 1:18:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's a fantasy. You're 18 years old now and you're telling us.

• 1:18:10Speaker 05

  Telling you what?

• 1:18:11Bobby Lee?

  That you want.

• 1:18:12Speaker 05

  I'm gay? And I want to hook up?

• 1:18:14Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:18:14Speaker 05

  That's the kind of porn I like, by the way. Step-parent porn? Very nice.

• 1:18:20Bobby Lee?

  I did see on TikTok today a montage of kids coming out to their parents and their parents being so supportive. It made me cry.

• 1:18:27Speaker 05

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:18:28Andrew Santino?

  Was there any one not supportive though? That's.

• 1:18:30Bobby Lee?

  Well, that's not the montage I saw, but it was my favorite one. What?

• 1:18:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:18:34Andrew Santino?

  No, not in my house.

• 1:18:36Speaker 05

  That's crazy when that happens, when you hear that shit.

• 1:18:39Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 1:18:39Speaker 05

  How could some- how could somebody, not even that, that like kicked them out?

• 1:18:43Speaker 06

  Oh, I can't believe that.

• 1:18:44Andrew Santino?

  I had a buddy, I had a buddy when I first moved to LA, this guy that I met, his parents sent him to pray away the gay camp. We talked.

• 1:18:49Speaker 06

  Oh, that's crazy shit.

• 1:18:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, but it made him more gay.

• 1:18:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, I hear those places are hot as shit, yeah.

• 1:18:54Speaker 06

  It's awful.

• 1:18:55Andrew Santino?

  It's like, there was nothing, there was never gonna fix anything.

• 1:18:56Speaker 05

  It's a fuck party.

• 1:18:57Andrew Santino?

  And his mom used to say wild shit, she'd come, we lived in the same complex, his mom would come and visit. And she'd be like, how come, how come he can't get a pretty girl like the girl you're dating? And I had to fucking keep up the lie. I was like, ah, I think he just loves being single.

• 1:19:11Speaker 05

  Oh, really? She didn't know?

• 1:19:13Andrew Santino?

  No, they fuck.

• 1:19:14Speaker 06

  They know, just in denial.

• 1:19:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, sheer denial.

• 1:19:16Speaker 06

  But don't parents know?

• 1:19:18Speaker 05

  You would think.

• 1:19:18Andrew Santino?

  You can usually smell a gay in your, in your house.

• 1:19:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, I was just like, dad, dad.

• 1:19:24Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:19:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you ever go to your friend's house and they're like, this is my son Riley, he's like, hello? You're like, uh-oh.

• 1:19:32Speaker 06

  I thought his parents already knew.

• 1:19:33Andrew Santino?

  Do you like dancing, Riley?

• 1:19:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, I think they know from a young age.

• 1:19:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, of course you know.

• 1:19:37Speaker 06

  I'd just be like, yeah, I know that already, kid.

• 1:19:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:19:40Speaker 06

  Get the fuck out of the house. Now, pick your beans.

• 1:19:44Andrew Santino?

  What if your son came to you and said, dad, I think I'm gay, what do you say?

• 1:19:47Speaker 06

  I'd be okay with it.

• 1:19:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:49Speaker 06

  Great.

• 1:19:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:50Speaker 06

  Would you be disappointed at all? I'd start calling my daughter, but sure, no, I'm kidding. No, I mean, I think, I don't know, I'm three months in, it'd be weird if he did, you know, if he told me now.

• 1:19:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's coming, five months, that's what they do, five months.

• 1:20:02Speaker 06

  Maybe it was like, gay, gay.

• 1:20:06Andrew Santino?

  So stupid, dude.

• 1:20:07Speaker 06

  Uh, I like.

• 1:20:08Speaker 05

  Start saying the chapel ron?

• 1:20:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, I don't know, I would be fine, you'd have to be fine, I don't know.

• 1:20:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, you'd have to be fine.

• 1:20:13Speaker 06

  I'm a progressive guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:15Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 1:20:15Speaker 06

  My best friend's gay. Right.

• 1:20:17Speaker 05

  Sure, on the weekends sometimes.

• 1:20:19Andrew Santino?

  You never tried?

• 1:20:20Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:20:21Andrew Santino?

  You never tried to flip the other side of the menu as Charlie?

• 1:20:23Speaker 06

  Great line, we were talking, we were discussing that, great line.

• 1:20:26Speaker 05

  That whole thing is fantastic.

• 1:20:27Andrew Santino?

  Doing your show, doing your show, I, I, the, one of the most fun, I remember doing it and being like, oh yeah, I wanna go, that'd, that'd be fun, that'd be cool. And then I did it and I was like, that's one of my best, most inventive podcasts on the internet. Your rhythm is perfect, you guys' relationship is fucking amazing. I, seeing you guys grow.

• 1:20:43Speaker 06

  We love you guys. I love you guys.

• 1:20:45Speaker 05

  Buddy, we love you.

• 1:20:45Andrew Santino?

  Seeing you guys grow and I was also like, this is, some people take off and you're like, when? You know what I mean? When, when it, when it happens to someone, you're like, yes, good, yeah, that is the go, this should be the big thing, go, go, go.

• 1:20:57Speaker 05

  We love you guys so much. Everybody in the comedy pod. Little Sphere has been so great to us and

• 1:21:02Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you guys are fucking great.

• 1:21:03Speaker 05

  Nobody's jealous, nobody's, you know, high tides raise all ships.

• 1:21:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:06Speaker 05

  And that was an away game. We want you in the studio when you're in New York.

• 1:21:09Andrew Santino?

  I had to come to New York, yeah.

• 1:21:10Bobby Lee?

  I did it.

• 1:21:10Speaker 05

  Both of you.

• 1:21:11Andrew Santino?

  You did it in the old studio.

• 1:21:12Speaker 06

  You were in the old studio.

• 1:21:13Speaker 05

  You gotta come to the new spot.

• 1:21:14Bobby Lee?

  I know, but then I went to, I went to the side one studio.

• 1:21:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, you did. Take it easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:19Speaker 06

  Jesus Christ. We'd love to have you back.

• 1:21:21Andrew Santino?

  Where's the new studio at?

• 1:21:22Speaker 06

  Uh, Midtown.

• 1:21:23Speaker 05

  Second biggest comedy podcast studio in the city.

• 1:21:25Speaker 06

  It's bigger than that.

• 1:21:26Andrew Santino?

  Seriously?

• 1:21:26Speaker 06

  Bigger than Schultz's, yeah.

• 1:21:27Andrew Santino?

  Wow!

• 1:21:28Speaker 05

  But Schultz's is-

• 1:21:29Speaker 06

  Going for the game, come for the game.

• 1:21:30Speaker 05

  Schultz's is way nicer and his staff is all cool as shit and gorgeous.

• 1:21:35Andrew Santino?

  They're all minorities. You guys have only whites. That's why I want to go to RU Garbage.

• 1:21:38Speaker 06

  No, we got an Italian guy.

• 1:21:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, we got an Italian guy. We got an Italian.

• 1:21:41Speaker 06

  We don't eat with them, but you know.

• 1:21:43Speaker 05

  You guys want to promote anything?

• 1:21:45Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, check out the pod, uh, RU Garbage, wherever you, we do twice a week, uh, public and then, uh, Patreon as well. We have a very, uh, active Patreon and, uh, we're on tour right now, Back on the Block Tour. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. It's stand-up and, uh, we play AYG with the crowd.

• 1:22:00Andrew Santino?

  Ugh.

• 1:22:01Speaker 05

  And we have a special, uh, Route 66 special, which is a combination of all that. And we each have half hours on our page.

• 1:22:08Andrew Santino?

  Go see the kids. RUGarbage.com is where you can get all that information. We'll put the link in the description down below for the fans. We appreciate you guys. We love you guys. Thank you for being garbage friends.

• 1:22:16Speaker 06

  Love ya.

• 1:22:16Speaker 05

  Thank you for being part of our garbage fan.

• 1:22:17Andrew Santino?

  And say, into that camera at the same time, say, uh, thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:22:21Speaker 06

  Thanks for being a bad friend.

• 1:22:23Andrew Santino?

  Good boys.