Best Gatorade Flavors! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Hosted by H. Foley
- 1h 4m
- Transcript
Summary
Written by a model from the transcript; not yet reviewed.
The hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley sit down for a family episode of the Are You Garbage? podcast, debating everything from Gatorade flavor hierarchies to childhood suburban mischief and bizarre street encounters. They break down a listener's guide to Gatorade where yellow is for thirst, orange is for hangovers, dark blue is for intense hydration, light blue is for a cold drink, and red is reserved strictly for lunch alongside hoagies and hot dogs. Along the way, the discussion veers into hilarious childhood memories of dodgy construction lunch runs, stealing old cars at age thirteen, getting kicked out of Arby's bathrooms, and navigating the bizarre social etiquette of asking strangers about plums in elevators.
- Yellow Gatorade is best suited for quenching thirst, while red Gatorade is uniquely paired with lunch items like hoagies. 3:15
- Dark blue cool blue Gatorade provides a heavier punch compared to lighter variants. 4:20
- Powerade drinks tend to offer a more viscous, heavier body than standard Gatorade options. 7:17
- Having a no soliciting sign or a dog on property warning sign carries specific legal liability regarding prior knowledge of danger. 59:08
Chapters
- 0:00Show Launch and Tour Announcement
Hosts introduce the episode and announce the Army of Garbage Tour dates in New York City.
- 2:27Sponsorship Segment: DraftKings and Underdog
The episode features ads for DraftKings and Underdog, with hosts promoting offers and product benefits.
- 3:10Gatorade Flavor Debate Begins
The hosts dive into a spirited discussion about the best Gatorade flavors and their uses.
- 5:08Childhood Snack and Drink Memories
Hosts reminisce about high school snacks, Gatorade, and other beverages, sharing humorous anecdotes.
- 6:24Closing and Listener Engagement
The episode wraps up with final remarks, encouraging listeners to engage with the show and its sponsors.
- 30:28Personal Anecdotes: Family and Childhood Tales
Hosts share stories about family dynamics, childhood experiences, and humorous moments from their past.
- 37:55Rocket Money Personal Finance Pitch
Hosts discuss Rocket Money, highlighting its subscription management features and cost-saving tips.
- 39:17BetterHelp Mental Health Sponsorship
The show promotes BetterHelp, explaining its affordability and benefits for listeners seeking therapy.
- 45:44Elevator Etiquette and Unexpected Conversations
The hosts recount a chaotic elevator encounter with a construction worker, highlighting awkward social exchanges and the absurdity of asking strangers about plums.
- 46:55The Plum Debate: Social Norms and Cringe Moments
They dive into the cringe of asking strangers about plums in elevators, exploring how such questions feel intrusive and how to navigate awkward social situations.
- 53:21Kitchen Catastrophes and Fire Department Escapades
A story about bad meat stored in a freezer leads to a kitchen fire, detailing the chaos, the fire department’s arrival, and the absurdity of the situation.
- 57:39From Garbage to Solicitation: The Art of Door‑to‑Door Pitching
The conversation shifts to the world of solicitation, discussing no‑soliciting signs, the challenges of door‑to‑door sales, and the personal experiences of the hosts.
Highlights
- 3:15
Gatorade Flavor Taxonomyinsight
A listener breaks down a precise functional guide for Gatorade flavors, arguing that yellow cures thirst, orange fixes hangovers, and red is strictly meant for lunch.
- 9:34
The guest recalls pulling scrap metal out of a South Philly factory as a twenty-year-old and eating three hot dogs washed down with a red Gatorade for lunch.
- 28:49
Childhood Townhouse Free Carstory
The hosts recount growing up as neighborhood rats in Village Shires, where a strange man randomly gifted a group of thirteen-year-olds an old non-starting BMW.
- 31:59
Urinal Saloon Doors Debatedebate
The conversation turns to the kitschy nature of dive bar bathrooms, debating the merits of traditional urinals, ice, and antiquated trough setups.
- 41:03
The guest details a bizarre suburban encounter at a Wawa during a heavy downpour where a stranger offered to drive home an older cyclist by fetching his Denali.
- 48:21
Elevator Plum Conversationstory
The host admits to making awkward small talk in an elevator by asking a random woman eating a plum how her fruit tasted.
- 53:21
Deep Freezer Steaks Incidentstory
The guest shares a disastrous shore story involving a stepdad trying to cook bad steaks found in a bait freezer, which filled the condo with smoke and brought seven fire trucks.
Quotes
“Yellow is the best Gatorade when you're thirsty.”
Unnamed speaker · 3:15 “Red is for lunch, dark blue for me is for hangovers, and light blue is when you want a cold drink.”
Unnamed speaker · 4:55 “They got, they got a little, little fucking, a little body to them things.”
Unnamed speaker · 7:30 “Originally launched in 1994 by PepsiCo as a competitor to Gatorade and Powerade, owned by, owned and manufactured today by the Gel Cert Company.”
Unnamed speaker · 8:30 “You know what I mean? Like, if you ever need a fucking couch moved, some guy who fucking hangs sheet rock is gonna come in and go, 'This is the angle, you do it, you grab that,' like, they, they're moving shit.”
Unnamed speaker · 46:17 “You gotta live life. I go, 'Yeah,' he goes, 'You never know when it's over.'”
H. Foley · 46:51 “I'm gonna fucking ground and pound you, big guy.”
Unnamed speaker · 46:57
Sponsored segments
- Patreon 1:36–2:03
- DraftKings 21:21–22:48
- Underdog 22:53–24:18
- Rocket Money 37:53–39:16
- BetterHelp 39:17–40:56
About this episode
Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: DraftKings: Download the DraftKings Sports app and use code AYG. New DraftKings customers can spend five and get two hundred in total bonuses paid within 21 days – includes all markets. Undrdog: Our listeners get up to 30% off their entire order at https://Undrdog.com. Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://www. RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE BetterHelp: If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide, with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or don't live in the United States? You can still get 10% off your first month. Visit https://betterhelp.com/garbage to explore your payment options. Promo Code: GARBAGE Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year. $50 in rewards issued every 7 days via click to claim for 21 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at dkng.co/audio. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
12,683 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
Topics
- Gatorade
- Hershey
- The Sopranos
- Powerade
- Sloan
- Pittsburgh
- The Boys
- Wild Cherry Pepsi
- Invincible
- New York City
Page updated · transcript and summary are machine-generated