Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast AYG Goes Hollywood! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley About this episode Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Hollywood! We also got Collin Chamberlin and Sam Rubinoff joining us. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
Steal shampoo from hotels?
Own a George Foreman Grill?
Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Transcript 13,667 words · 6 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 H. Foley? Wait one second, gang. We can't leave LA until we tell you that we're gonna be in Burlington and we're gonna be in Boston. Do yourself a favor, get your tickets at RUGarbage.com.
0:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, live show's been great. Back on the block tour. Get the homies, get the bozos. Let's see you there.
0:12 Speaker 02 Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
0:31 H. Foley? Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they're good to be classy.
0:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:42 H. Foley? Or just a big ol' piece of trash.
0:44 Speaker 01 Trash, trash, trash.
0:45 H. Foley? I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day from Hollywood, California. We're tucked up here in the Hollywood Hills. Ant tootie last night, bit by a rattlesnake. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
1:06 Speaker 01 What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are doing alright over there.
1:16 H. Foley? Doing alright.
1:17 Speaker 01 Uh, then obviously the greatest website of all time. Play your little computer, little phone, little desktop, whatever you got. www.patreon.com/ru-garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.
1:29 H. Foley? And as you can see, we're out on the road here. We're doing the Back on the Block Tour. We were in San Fran, we were in Portland, we were in Seattle, and then we finished up the five-day run with the sold-out show in Brea, California. So we're staying out here for a little week. Out in Tinseltown, we're hanging out, and we got two of our absolute best with us. Sitting to my immediate right, the host with the most, New York comedian, one of the funniest guys out there, Colin Chamberlain, everybody.
1:53 Speaker 01 Thank you, boys.
1:54 H. Foley? Good to see you, pal. And of course, we have our Ash Kanaji kid over here. One of the stars of the Route 66 Tour. Give it up for Sam Rubenoff, everybody.
2:03 Speaker 01 Sam A.
2:04 Speaker 03 Happy to be back.
2:05 Speaker 01 Writer and producer extraordinaire.
2:07 H. Foley? Writer and producer extraordinaire. You got some heat on those cartoons, baby.
2:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, Cyber Schmuck. Check them out. They're great. Little talking cars.
2:15 Speaker 01 Thanks for tuning in.
2:18 H. Foley? Can I get my meal now?
2:21 Speaker 03 Alright, I'm done.
2:24 H. Foley? How long? Where do I get my check from?
2:25 Speaker 01 How long do these typically go?
2:29 H. Foley? I got Yom Kippur in an hour.
2:30 Speaker 01 Well, that's, that is one thing I wanted to bring up.
2:33 H. Foley? What's that?
2:34 Speaker 01 Sammy's going, Sammy's been moving a little rogue this week. You got a little schmutz on you, by the way, now I'm Jewish.
2:42 Speaker 01 You got a schmeckel.
2:43 H. Foley? That's, it's the foam.
2:44 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
2:45 H. Foley? They put foam in the coffee out here.
2:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:47 H. Foley? It's like whipped cream. You believe that?
2:50 Speaker 01 The stuff they're, they, he's freaks out here in Hollyweird.
2:53 H. Foley? By the way, I had a bagel from Dialogue Cafe this morning, just as good as the one in New York, that's all I'm saying, okay?
2:58 Speaker 01 Okay, alright.
2:58 H. Foley? Meet me at Cantor's.
3:01 Speaker 01 He's, you're going to, Sammy's going to your family's house out here.
3:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:06 Speaker 01 For a party.
3:07 Speaker 03 No, just not.
3:07 H. Foley? Oh, that's what it's for? It's for the holiday?
3:09 Speaker 03 No, no.
3:10 H. Foley? Oh, we're definitely going.
3:10 Speaker 01 That's what I'm, what would it take for us to roll in Squad D?
3:14 H. Foley? Hey, there they are.
3:16 Speaker 01 And break a couple chairs.
3:17 Speaker 03 Well, well, here's the thing, I actually, I got, I got in a little trouble.
3:20 H. Foley? Hey, give me a BLT, hold the bacon, huh? Am I right? Guys, good to see you. How you doing?
3:24 Speaker 03 I got in a little trouble because I was like, this is my mom, people my mom's age, right? My mom's cousin, she's great. Um, and, uh, I was like, yeah, I'm in, I, I think I have Tuesday and Wednesday night free, you know, you wanna, you wanna catch up? And she was like, well, Wednesday's Yom Kippur, so we're not doing that. So I got a little bit of...
3:42 Speaker 01 You got a little bit of, you should, you didn't even know the high higher, invite her to hang out on a high holiday?
3:46 H. Foley? Wait, you got pushed? Or, or you got an escape plan?
3:48 Speaker 03 No, it was more like, you should know better.
3:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, you shouldn't have asked me to hang out on, it's like...
3:53 Speaker 03 But to be...
3:53 H. Foley? Wait, can you not go over to their house on Yom Kippur and sit in solemn with them?
3:56 Speaker 03 Well, here's the thing, Wednesday's actually...
3:58 Speaker 01 I've never seen him be quiet.
3:59 Speaker 03 Kohl Nidre, it's the night before Yom Kippur, so it's like...
4:01 H. Foley? Kohl Nidre?
4:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:02 H. Foley? Was that a DJ?
4:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
4:04 Speaker 01 The new rapper.
4:05 H. Foley? Saw that guy in Ibiza.
4:06 Speaker 03 Kohl Nidre and Lil Uzavert are gonna be there.
4:13 Speaker 03 That's a fun party.
4:14 H. Foley? Sammy.
4:15 Speaker 01 How'd you get, how'd you score tickets and that?
4:18 Speaker 03 Oh, everyone knows a guy there, yeah, everyone.
4:21 Speaker 01 Um, okay.
4:23 H. Foley? Wait, so you can't go over there and hang out?
4:24 Speaker 03 No, I can, but she probably has plans with like, members of her congregation, whatever, whatever.
4:30 Speaker 01 It's like asking someone, hey, you wanna catch a movie on fucking Christmas Eve?
4:32 Speaker 03 Or, or on Good Friday, you know, like...
4:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:35 Speaker 03 And so I was like, alright, I guess it's default by...
4:37 H. Foley? So what, you gotta go over there tonight?
4:39 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's a casual dinner, yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:40 Speaker 01 Are you bringing anything?
4:41 Speaker 03 Here's the thing, so I was thinking about it...
4:43 H. Foley? Let's stop and get a challah.
4:45 Speaker 03 challah.
4:47 H. Foley? That's what we call it out here.
4:49 Speaker 03 I would say, well, because it's like, there's no, she knows I'm in town, right? If you're coming from your own home, you bring, you offer to bring dessert.
4:58 H. Foley? This explanation is Jewish.
5:00 Speaker 01 This is a long way to go around not getting a $14 bottle of wine.
5:03 Speaker 03 I was thinking of getting a $30.
5:05 Speaker 01 I get it. You're not bringing anything. Message received.
5:08 Speaker 04 Here's the thing, I didn't check a bag.
5:13 H. Foley? Here's a lawn chair from the Airbnb.
5:15 Speaker 01 They can get what they want, whenever they want. Why should I get?
5:18 Speaker 04 They live out here.
5:20 Speaker 01 Oh, that's good.
5:21 H. Foley? Thanks, Sam. A back on the block t-shirt.
5:28 H. Foley? I got you some koozies if you guys want them. They're laying around the studio.
5:32 Speaker 01 Okay, and how far away is it at her house?
5:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's not too far.
5:36 H. Foley? Can we go?
5:37 Speaker 01 Nice house? Apartment?
5:38 H. Foley? Can one of us go?
5:39 Speaker 01 It's a nice, it's a nice California, LA.
5:42 H. Foley? Oh, is it? They do well?
5:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:44 H. Foley? Of course they do.
5:45 Speaker 04 If you had to bring one person from the squad with you as a guest, who would you bring?
5:50 Speaker 03 Not Foley.
5:51 H. Foley? Why? I thought you'd do, they love me. I didn't mean it like that. They would love me.
5:56 Speaker 03 It depends on which Foley I'm getting.
5:58 H. Foley? Which Foley do you want? I could pull him up. What do you want?
6:01 Speaker 01 I'm a man of many masks.
6:02 H. Foley? Yeah, you tell me what Foley you want.
6:04 Speaker 03 I want Foley, the, uh, the gaudous outgoing guy, and not, not the one who is, uh, second guessing everything and making everybody nervous. Cause we got enough of that.
6:16 Speaker 01 Well, I think you just invited him.
6:20 Speaker 01 Sugar water.
6:21 H. Foley? Are you sure they're gonna like me?
6:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:24 Speaker 01 Did they say something?
6:28 Speaker 01 Hey, Rubenov, I don't think your aunt likes me. Slip me 20, I'll give it to her.
6:30 H. Foley? I need cocaine. In a bag.
6:34 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, I think, I would have to defer to Luke on that one.
6:38 H. Foley? Fuck that, I'm going.
6:40 Speaker 01 Luke, Luke can operate.
6:41 H. Foley? Sammy, you bring meat, I'll wow him. I'll do the bits, I'll do the whole nine yards.
6:45 Speaker 03 I, listen, again, if I was a guarantee that I'm getting...
6:50 H. Foley? What's wrong with you?
6:52 Speaker 01 No, it seems, seems very chill.
6:55 H. Foley? Rubenov, what's on the menu?
6:57 Speaker 03 I have no idea.
6:58 H. Foley? What's typically on the menu going into Yom Kippur?
7:01 Speaker 03 Well, Yom Kippur is general...
7:02 H. Foley? Is this a good one, or is this fucking, you know, the, the matzah and stuff like that?
7:06 Speaker 03 That's Passover. Uh...
7:09 H. Foley? Love it.
7:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, uh, Yom Kippur, well, the day of Yom Kippur is bad, cause you're fasting, so there's nothing.
7:14 Speaker 01 I'm out. Foley's out.
7:18 Speaker 01 I think your whole religion don't make no sense.
7:21 Speaker 03 Not even one matzah for you.
7:22 Speaker 01 You guys are a little kooky. This whole not eating thing.
7:25 H. Foley? I'll be over at the Knights of Columbus if you need me. Eating meatballs and coleslaw.
7:29 Speaker 01 Sure.
7:30 H. Foley? Yeah, take Luke for that.
7:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a, Luke, he can operate in those situations.
7:35 Speaker 03 I think Diesel Ryan could do it.
7:37 Speaker 01 Diesel can acclimate.
7:38 H. Foley? He could pass.
7:39 Speaker 01 He sits, he sits like a weirdo, but...
7:43 Speaker 03 No sweatpants, but we could do it.
7:44 H. Foley? I know, you can't be sitting Indian style.
7:47 Speaker 01 In a dirty t-shirt.
7:48 H. Foley? In a Jewish home, you kidding me?
7:49 Speaker 03 Touching, he'd be touching all the furniture. Is this oak? It feels like oak.
7:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, Ryan's been walking around the Airbnb guessing what all the furnitures are.
7:55 H. Foley? Can I say this? Kippy, you've outdone yourself.
7:59 Speaker 01 Thank you.
8:00 H. Foley? As the bozos and the homies know, when we go on the road, Kippy likes to splurge on the boys a little bit. We, you know, we like to, we like to live in it. We like to, you know, enjoy it.
8:10 Speaker 01 And if there's something wrong, I hear it right away.
8:12 H. Foley? Yeah. It's a long way from the fucking trap house you had us in in Baltimore, where I had to go and get a hotel.
8:20 Speaker 01 That one we pulled up and we didn't even get out of the car.
8:22 H. Foley? No.
8:22 Speaker 01 There's a guy, there's a guy on fentanyl sleeping on the front steps.
8:25 H. Foley? Were you with us for that?
8:26 Speaker 01 No, I don't think he was.
8:27 H. Foley? We pulled in and didn't even get out of the car. It was dicey.
8:30 Speaker 03 I did Magoobies with you once.
8:32 Speaker 01 No, it wasn't that. Oh, it might have been. I forget. It might have been that. Yeah, yeah, that was way back in the, that was when we were building the studio. We were building toadies.
8:39 Speaker 03 Right, yeah. I don't remember staying anymore.
8:41 H. Foley? They were shooting the wire down there.
8:43 Speaker 01 Yikes!
8:44 H. Foley? I'll be over at Capitol Hill, huh? Talk to me.
8:47 Speaker 01 One thing I noticed, we've all, everybody's been living together very well, right?
8:50 H. Foley? We always do, man.
8:51 Speaker 01 It's, you know, I mean, yeah, we're all good friends, you know, it's, it's very, uh, it's been good. One thing I did notice this morning, upstairs is me, Foley, this isn't about you, it's me, Foley, relax.
9:03 H. Foley? I was talking about the incident yesterday.
9:04 Speaker 01 Although you pooped up there yesterday and I, dude, I literally, the bathroom isn't in the hallway and I go...
9:10 H. Foley? It's three houses over.
9:11 Speaker 01 Dude, I, you get on the first step, like you're down here in the hallway and I'm like, what the heck is even that?
9:17 Speaker 03 Died up there.
9:18 Speaker 01 Jesus.
9:20 Speaker 01 Oh man, the Jews would love you in a house.
9:22 H. Foley? I'm sorry, I'll pay for that.
9:24 Speaker 01 It was how much?
9:28 Speaker 01 Ryan can make this.
9:31 H. Foley? You step on that first step, you turn into a fucking ghost hunter. There is something impure in this house.
9:36 Speaker 01 But it was like, I was like, dude, it was, and I get it, I'm not judging, I'm not judging, we're living a, you know, boys are doing some day drinking, we got the burritos going, you got the bread, I'm not, I'm not judging. But it was, and I was also doing them, but I got my own, I got, my bathroom's a little more removed.
9:54 H. Foley? I don't want to gross anybody out, but I'm on a Zepbound, I took my fourth shot. I have to supplement that with Metamucil, so I don't have the same issues I had when I was on Ozempic. I gotta push all the way through on this one, so I'm doing my support stuff. I got my probiotics, I got my prebiotics, I got my Metamucil, I'm drinking a lot of water, I'm getting good night's sleep.
10:10 Speaker 01 No, yeah, you're doing great.
10:11 H. Foley? I'm masturbating again.
10:13 Speaker 01 Alright, things are looking up. There goes the security deposit.
10:20 Speaker 01 I, uh...
10:20 H. Foley? That's actually what you smelled.
10:22 Speaker 01 But Sam, I don't know if you do this every day, your beds make...
10:25 H. Foley? Whoa, I was gonna say that, I peeked in there, I thought you were laying in bed wrapped up with a sheet over your head.
10:29 Speaker 01 You make your bed in the morning.
10:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, I started doing that.
10:32 Speaker 01 When?
10:33 Speaker 03 Uh, about a year and a half ago, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and she was like, "The bed's always a mess when you get out." And it was like, it was like one of those iceberg, uh, the tip of the iceberg where you don't do enough around here, uh, things. So I started making the bed every morning. I wake up, I, I...
10:50 Speaker 01 Makes you feel good, they say that makes you feel good.
10:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, I do that, and then I empty the dishwasher. That's the two things I do in the morning.
10:56 H. Foley? Did you do that down here?
10:57 Speaker 03 No, I'm on vacation.
10:59 Speaker 01 Also, are you doing, Ryan's doing the dishes every night before we go up?
11:03 H. Foley? Ryan's doing a great job.
11:04 Speaker 01 I'm saying that's great, the two mornings I went to get mugs, cleaned, I went, I said, "That Diop's is locked the fuck in."
11:12 Speaker 03 He's doing an amazing job.
11:13 H. Foley? I think for when you actually do slice my throat in the middle of the night, it will have been worth it, because you are on point with everything. It's been fantastic. You're killing it out here, buddy. And, very funny. Doing a very good job with that. Luke?
11:27 Speaker 01 He can pick up some little bit of slack, okay? Um...
11:31 H. Foley? Luke ordered his Chinese breakfast yesterday.
11:33 Speaker 01 That was me. I found that place.
11:35 H. Foley? You found that place?
11:36 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
11:37 H. Foley? Holy shit.
11:38 Speaker 01 Oh, you're not a fan?
11:39 H. Foley? I'll tell your mom.
11:40 Speaker 01 You're about to, oh yeah, I'm in that Denise, because you're eating Asian eggs out there? No, thank you. Ew, no.
11:50 H. Foley? Western almond egg rolls?
11:51 Speaker 01 That was good. I don't know what they were doing. There was some egg cream, so I was something in there that was all right.
11:56 H. Foley? It was pretty banging.
11:58 Speaker 01 Um, we're, um, little fourth curtain. We're, we're, you know, we're out here doing, taking some Hollywood meetings.
12:05 H. Foley? Oh, we're gonna get into this.
12:07 Speaker 01 A little bit, why not? I mean, it is, we're, we're an open book, open book family.
12:11 H. Foley? It's just turned into a TED Talk on not to handle.
12:13 Speaker 01 This city's dead.
12:16 H. Foley? Business meetings.
12:17 Speaker 01 Um.
12:18 H. Foley? I was a little brash.
12:20 Speaker 01 It was, um, you know, you're, you're standing up for yourself. You said you were going in with a game plan and you did stick to that. I was.
12:29 H. Foley? We're not fucking around down here.
12:32 Speaker 01 The guy's like, hi, um, hi, I'm Steven. I'm gonna tell you what we want. I'll stop you right there. This is what we want. Guys, we're, we're still standing up. Relax.
12:44 H. Foley? You're sitting in the lobby.
12:46 Speaker 01 Sure.
12:47 H. Foley? Then you go back to an office. Huh?
12:50 Speaker 01 We walked in the one, I think it was, it was another guy. I don't think he was, I don't know. That guy didn't know that we were coming for a meeting and he asked who we were and Foley was not happy. Foley, the guy goes, who are you? Foley just like looked up.
13:01 H. Foley? Oh, man.
13:01 Speaker 01 I said, man, might as well, might as well call these and they'll come pick us back up.
13:05 H. Foley? Yeah. Over, over the couch. Who are you guys, who are you guys here to see?
13:10 Speaker 01 What?
13:10 H. Foley? Who are we here to see? Huh? You're about to see a doctor, all right? Zip it.
13:17 Speaker 01 You're about to see Dr. Rubenoff.
13:18 H. Foley? And give me the code for the bathroom. I gotta take a wicked one.
13:21 Speaker 01 I am on back on a Metamucil.
13:25 Speaker 04 Sorry, sir, no public restroom. We have a meeting.
13:30 H. Foley? That's another thing too.
13:30 Speaker 01 I was invited here.
13:31 H. Foley? We're taking the meeting. We're sitting in front of, we're, we're sitting in front of a WeWork bathroom. This guy's coming in and out.
13:37 Speaker 01 There was like, there's dudes like dropping diggers in there, just like.
13:40 H. Foley? I know, dude.
13:42 Speaker 04 The toilet behind you.
13:47 H. Foley? They're asking us what our game plan is.
13:49 Speaker 01 It was, it was, yeah, it's.
13:51 H. Foley? You guys all live together too?
13:52 Speaker 01 We're very, okay, we're very, you know, we're not cut out for Holly. We're not.
13:58 H. Foley? Listen, we've been to the puppet show, we've seen the strings.
14:00 Speaker 01 Did you say that? Did you say that? Have you said that? I've heard you say that to a waiter. The guy's like.
14:05 H. Foley? So don't jerk me around.
14:07 Speaker 01 Sir, this is an Applebee's.
14:08 H. Foley? Free refills.
14:09 Speaker 01 We have two for 20. It has never changed.
14:12 H. Foley? No, it's two for 10. Okay?
14:16 Speaker 01 Sir, I am 18 years old. Please stop. Please let go of me.
14:20 H. Foley? Listen, by the way, I know those fajitas ain't sizzling. I know they're not sizzling.
14:23 Speaker 01 It's just water. They're putting water on a hot plate.
14:25 H. Foley? We've covered that. I've seen the puppet show. Don't jerk me around.
14:31 Speaker 04 How many boneless wings are in here? It said a dozen.
14:35 Speaker 01 I count 11 and a half. That one don't count. That's a little nub.
14:39 H. Foley? I was, I was at the, I was at.
14:41 Speaker 01 You stink.
14:42 H. Foley? I was at the dinner with somebody one time, I think my cousin, and I said, uh, something about the wings. I was like, uh, do you do that by wing or do you do that by weight? Like weight of the portion. And they left and my cousin's like, damn dude, how fat are you?
14:56 Speaker 01 Yeah. Don't be screwing me. They bring the plate over, you have a food scale, you're like, I'll be the judge of this.
15:02 H. Foley? Let me tear this real quick.
15:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:04 H. Foley? You're charging me for, but it's mostly basket you're charging me for.
15:07 Speaker 01 The bull is eight ounces. This is crazy.
15:10 H. Foley? This hamburger's supposed to be half a pound. Pre-cooked.
15:13 Speaker 01 That got big when like, I don't know if it was just like a bit, like a viral bit or whatever, but people were weighing the steak because it'd be like a 14 ounce filet. And then they had to come out and start saying pre-cooked weight.
15:22 H. Foley? Yeah, what a scumbag.
15:23 Speaker 01 It's like, he's like, this is seven ounces, which doesn't, I guess the, I think it would be, I guess you cook out all the wa, the moisture, like cook out the fat.
15:31 Speaker 04 But I think most things are measured by like raw weight.
15:34 H. Foley? Yeah. What are we doing? You can't, you can't start doing that shit. I just asked. I was just curious.
15:39 Speaker 04 That's how we measure Foley, by raw weight. Before we pull all the moisture out of him.
15:45 Speaker 01 Before we dry him out.
15:47 Speaker 04 We're aging him in the pool room like a steak. He's got a little funk on him, but let him go another week.
15:51 Speaker 01 Let him go another week. That'll, that's all you, you see them skin tags? That's all flavor.
15:57 H. Foley? Somebody goes in, you go in one of them little cheese hole, hole things, you just put one in there? He's getting there. That fucking hurts.
16:04 Speaker 01 There's nowhere for that flavor to hide, baby. All surface area.
16:09 H. Foley? Kip, we gotta talk about Hexclad. Ooh, shout out to that Hexclad. I got news for you, gang. Summer's over. No more hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill. You gotta start really cooking. You got the family, you got the holidays coming up, and what are you gonna do? Huh? What are you gonna do?
16:23 Speaker 01 Cook in a pan like a, like a, like a something they're not allowed to say?
16:27 H. Foley? No, you're gonna do, you're gonna use Hexclad, and you're gonna get in the 21st century. Do yourself a favor, the best you're ever gonna get.
16:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, they're fantastic. I bought them before they were a sponsor, and it's changed my life. Me and my wife, we're not fighting anymore. The dog don't shit in the house. They're the best goddamn thing, pans I've ever seen in my life. Um, game days are here. It's up, it's time to upgrade your kitchen for hosting season.
16:48 H. Foley? Game day, there you go.
16:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, dude, I listen-
16:50 H. Foley? Well, just a couple of eggs. They slide around like a dance floor on a-
16:53 Speaker 01 It's cra- you couldn't get an egg to stick to this thing even if you tried. With super glue, you couldn't do it. Uh, game days are here. It's time to upgrade your kitchen for hosting season. Get 10% off at hexclad.com/garbage to make sure your spread is as strong as your lineup. Support your, support the show, and cook with gear as serious as your passion at hexclad.com. That's H-E-X-C-L-A-D.com/garbage. Let Hexclad know we sent ya, and experience the ultimate upgrade in your kitchen with Hexclad's superior performance. Do it.
17:22 H. Foley? Kip, tell them about True Classics.
17:23 Speaker 01 Ooh, talk about True Classics.
17:24 H. Foley? I got a question for ya.
17:25 Speaker 01 Hit me.
17:26 H. Foley? 500 points.
17:26 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
17:27 H. Foley? What's the best t-shirt in the business?
17:28 Speaker 01 Uh, True Classics.
17:29 H. Foley? What's one of the best clothing brands in the business?
17:31 Speaker 01 True Classics.
17:31 H. Foley? Now, does True Classics just have t-shirts?
17:33 Speaker 01 Uh, I don't know. Nope. They got it all, baby. They got, uh, they got pants, they got athletic wear, they got whatever you need. They got it. A bunch of good, comfortable, basic stuff that elevate you.
17:46 H. Foley? And they got the best t-shirts in the business. They get better when you wash them. That's crazy. That's quality.
17:50 Speaker 01 Uh huh. They're tight around the arms, make you look like you got a set of guns on
17:53 H. Foley? Loose around the belly.
17:54 Speaker 01 Makes you look like you're on T, you know what I mean?
17:55 H. Foley? Have a couple of fries, enjoy yourself.
17:58 Speaker 01 Uh, people vote, the, people vote with their dollars, and True Classics has sold over 25 million shirts to more than 5 million customers. That's insane. Racking up over 200,000 5-star reviews.
18:09 H. Foley? That's a lot of shirts.
18:10 Speaker 01 Men lie, women lie, numbers don't lie.
18:12 H. Foley? Mm-mm. 25 mil.
18:14 Speaker 01 The brand isn't just about the fabric or fit, it's about helping guys show up every day with confidence and purpose. Feel better with their clothes. Their shirts, uh, fit where they should, feel incredible, and don't break the bank. You get that tailored look without sacrificing comfort or blowing your budget.
18:26 H. Foley? There you go.
18:27 Speaker 01 Um, it's tailored where you want it. There's no bunching, no stiff fabric, no BS. Uh, True Classics is built for comfort, and built to last, and built to give back. You can find them at Amazon, Target, Costco, Sam's Club, or head to trueclassic.com/garbage, which we recommend you do.
18:41 H. Foley? What are peak?
18:42 Speaker 01 Try them out yourselves.
18:43 H. Foley? Do it.
18:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:45 H. Foley? Yeah, I'm heavyset.
18:46 Speaker 01 Uh.
18:47 H. Foley? I was chubby as a kid, too.
18:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, me too. You're doing great, though. I do have to say, you're doing great. Um, I thought there was a-
18:54 H. Foley? You should've killed me when you had the chance.
18:55 Speaker 01 I don't know who you're talking to when you say these things.
18:57 H. Foley? I don't know either. Someone's gonna get that.
18:59 Speaker 01 You say it in the meeting-
19:00 H. Foley? Someone's gonna get that.
19:01 Speaker 01 You say it in today's meeting, "You should've killed me. Hi, I'm Henry, and you should've killed me when you had the chance."
19:05 Speaker 04 Okey dokey.
19:07 Speaker 01 Okay, uh, right this-
19:08 Speaker 04 This way, Mr. Foley.
19:09 H. Foley? I'm definitely saying that. What the fuck do we care?
19:11 Speaker 01 I know, yeah, no, we-
19:12 H. Foley? Let's go here and have some fucking fun.
19:13 Speaker 01 We don't care. And, uh, and this is a little bit of pandering, but the truth, we're out here, we're talking to some people, uh, no one real, you know-
19:19 H. Foley? I say we tell them we're moving weight and see if they want-
19:21 Speaker 01 Hey-
19:22 H. Foley? Let's see if we can really trust them.
19:23 Speaker 01 I got a, I got a plug in Columbia.
19:25 H. Foley? Yeah, it's just, we'll, we'll, we'll be like, you know, most of our revenue stream comes from digital, and then, uh, you know, we, we do the road, that, that, that's a good portion of revenue, but then we also have this passive revenue stream.
19:37 Speaker 01 Eight balls.
19:38 H. Foley? Moving weight at Ecuador.
19:40 Speaker 01 Um-
19:41 H. Foley? See if they play ball. That's how you know, if he's like, "All right, yeah, let's take this back to the office," then we know we got a partner.
19:46 Speaker 01 Sure. I do think we should have fun with one of them where we, Sam is our lawyer. We dress, we get Sam a suit. Sam's our lawyer. Diesel and, uh, Colin are our security guards. Colin go gets his nickel, right?
20:02 H. Foley? What, he's gonna fly back to New York?
20:03 Speaker 01 Oh, I'm sure he can, I'm sure he can get something on the ground out here.
20:06 Speaker 04 Hard to believe. I think we could find it in LA.
20:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:09 Speaker 04 I don't know if you've looked outside this way or that way, but I think we could find it.
20:14 H. Foley? You got an Uzi?
20:15 Speaker 01 You joined the Yakuza?
20:17 Speaker 04 Dude, we drove around last night, and I'm like, "Where are we? The Walking Dead? Like, it's crazy."
20:22 Speaker 01 We also, so, yeah, but I do think that would be fun, because, but, hold on, Pip, I wanna, not to pander, but because of the fucking homies and bozos and the fucking army of garbage, it's like, we don't, you know, we are able to create everything we want to create and give it right to you guys, so it's like, there's not much people can do, unless Netflix is listening and can give us a special. How you doing? Um, but other than that, uh, I wouldn't say me, Colin and Foley went out for a couple of beverages last night.
20:48 H. Foley? I had to beg these guys to go drink with me.
20:51 Speaker 01 That's not the case.
20:52 H. Foley? Yes, it is.
20:53 Speaker 01 No.
20:53 H. Foley? We got out of this meeting, I wanted to blow off a little steam.
20:57 Speaker 04 Get fucked up.
20:58 H. Foley? I said, "Let's fuck it, head downtown, let's find a dark, cold LA bar that serves screaming cold beers."
21:07 Speaker 01 This is where I have to push back. I said, "Yeah," I said, "Let's," Luke wasn't going, Sam wasn't going. And Ryan wasn't going, so I go, "And Colin was here at the house." I said, "All right, well, let's just go back to the house, we'll see what, we'll grab Colin and we'll go out."
21:25 H. Foley? Well, that's what we did.
21:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, I know.
21:26 Speaker 04 Literally exactly what happened, yeah.
21:28 H. Foley? A good time.
21:29 Speaker 01 But you're in the, but you're in the back screaming, "Just drop me off now." I go, "Where do you want to go?" "I don't know." That's what you do.
21:35 H. Foley? I want to get fucked. I just came out of that meeting.
21:37 Speaker 04 Yeah, I was at the meeting too.
21:39 H. Foley? Yeah.
21:39 Speaker 04 On the other side of that meeting, we were all waiting here, like, waiting on eggshells of like, whatever walks through this door. Like, Luke's working on the computer, I'm working on a computer, Rubes is trying to get a lunch order together, like.
21:53 H. Foley? Oh, you're desperate.
21:54 Speaker 04 We're all like, panicked to like, get it, like, "Has anyone heard from Diesel? Like, what's going on? Does he have service?" Like, all waiting to see what the vibe.
22:02 H. Foley? Wait, you worried what mood we're gonna walk in through the door?
22:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, we were trying to figure out like, what's gonna happen with the rest of the, because whatever happened was gonna determine how the rest of the day and evening went.
22:12 H. Foley? Because of me?
22:13 Speaker 04 Not because of you, but because of like, you know, you, uh...
22:21 Speaker 04 But Rubes was ready, Rubes was like, "I don't care if they get the special or not, someone order me a Chinese chicken salad."
22:29 H. Foley? Dude, what's with you and a Chinese chicken salad?
22:31 Speaker 04 You were so hungry.
22:33 H. Foley? I love them too, don't get me wrong.
22:35 Speaker 04 Well.
22:35 H. Foley? You had one for breakfast.
22:37 Speaker 03 No, I had a protein bowl for breakfast, but, um, I, uh...
22:41 H. Foley? Sam, thanks.
22:42 Speaker 03 I, uh, no, the Chi, it's a good flavor, I don't eat dairy, so it's like a sure thing, because they don't put dairy in those, so it's easy.
22:49 Speaker 01 The Asian, the Chinese don't do, do the, I guess the Chinese don't really do cheese, do they?
22:53 H. Foley? Yeah, they do. Koreans do.
22:55 Speaker 01 Okay, that's not the Chinese, thanks for moving the goalposts in the argument.
22:58 H. Foley? When I go to Korean barbecue, we do cheese and corn around the side, it's delicious.
23:02 Speaker 01 Sure, but I'm just saying that there's not a cheese on most of the items you're getting.
23:06 H. Foley? Sure.
23:06 Speaker 01 It's not a big cheese culture.
23:07 H. Foley? Sure.
23:08 Speaker 01 I think is a fair assumption to say.
23:09 H. Foley? I'll give you that. Chinese cheese, somebody give that a goog. Luke?
23:13 Speaker 03 I'm sure they have it.
23:14 H. Foley? We'll be right back.
23:15 Speaker 03 But it's not part of like the Americanized Chinese.
23:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's not like you're not eating, they're not putting it on sandwiches and stuff.
23:19 H. Foley? They put those little, um, um, uh, what's it called? L'Choy? The little noodle, little crispy noodles in there?
23:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, sometimes here, the little, little wonton things.
23:28 H. Foley? Yeah, oh, them little wonton things, forget about it.
23:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
23:31 H. Foley? The little l'Choy noodles, I used to crush them when I was a kid.
23:34 Speaker 03 They make a salad on healthy fast.
23:35 Speaker 04 Luke was diffusing, walking a tightrope, trying to diffuse the situation.
23:39 Speaker 01 It is weird because if me and Foley are gone, Luke is by proxy is in charge.
23:44 Speaker 03 Oh, absolutely.
23:45 Speaker 01 Not that he, not that he's, there's anything to be in charge of, but.
23:47 H. Foley? He's the babysitter.
23:48 Speaker 03 There, there was an immediate order.
23:49 Speaker 01 He does have the authority to make purchase, like, it has to go through Luke.
23:52 H. Foley? And if you notice, when he's the babysitter, he can be a little country. Country.
23:59 Speaker 01 It's also just when Kevin's gone, I'm really in charge.
24:03 H. Foley? He can be a little bitchy.
24:04 Speaker 03 He sent me to my room.
24:05 H. Foley? Yeah.
24:05 Speaker 03 I can't even do anything.
24:07 Speaker 01 Actually, go to your room and think about what you did.
24:08 H. Foley? If he's fighting with his boyfriend or something like that and he hasn't called, or the boyfriend's out at a party and he's stuck babysitting, he could be a little snooty, right? You wouldn't let Sam order.
24:18 Speaker 04 He handled it very well.
24:19 H. Foley? So now we're gonna wait.
24:20 Speaker 04 I will, he handled it very, very well of like, like buying time. It was like a veteran quarterback just trying to like run out the clock. Like, Rubes is like, "Did you put that order in?" And Luke's like, "No, I'm, I'm working on the thing, the app's like not loading."
24:33 Speaker 01 I gotta redo the live fire.
24:34 H. Foley? Yeah, he'll lie right to you.
24:35 Speaker 04 Just buying time. It was very well done.
24:38 H. Foley? Every time this guy said it's a five minute walk and it's been a 15 minute walk?
24:41 Speaker 04 Oh, you're one of those, dude. Those guys are brutal.
24:42 H. Foley? Oh, he's one of those.
24:44 Speaker 01 So this is, so we go out drinking.
24:45 H. Foley? He's, which makes me even madder.
24:48 Speaker 01 I know, but hold on, we did this, I, I literally.
24:51 H. Foley? Cause I stink.
24:52 Speaker 01 We did this yesterday. So we, me, we, as we said, me, Colin and, uh, Foley.
24:57 H. Foley? Real quick, the frolic?
24:59 Speaker 01 That's what we're getting to.
25:00 H. Foley? Okay, no, I'm saying downtown.
25:01 Speaker 01 That's what you, what's my?
25:02 H. Foley? Great bar, ice cold beers.
25:04 Speaker 01 That's literally what I was just setting up of us going to the frolic room.
25:07 H. Foley? Go ahead.
25:07 Speaker 03 So it's a Chinese chicken salad? And there's no dairy?
25:11 Speaker 01 There's no cheese in it? I've had cheese before.
25:14 H. Foley? They do the little Mandarin orange slices in there sometimes.
25:16 Speaker 03 Sometimes. This one wasn't that good though, because it had a ton of kale. Too much kale is rough.
25:23 Speaker 01 Kale for breakfast, you can kick fucking rocks. I don't care what country you're from.
25:26 H. Foley? Kale in a salad stinks. Get out of here.
25:30 Speaker 01 There's one I like it in, from like a chop or something.
25:32 H. Foley? You're eating decoration. I was gonna be eating holly.
25:35 Speaker 03 Right.
25:36 Speaker 01 Um, but whatever. So we go.
25:38 H. Foley? Friend of yours?
25:41 Speaker 01 So we go to the frolic room. We find, we're searching dive bars. We find the frolic room, which we get in there pitch black. It's like every, you just feel at home. You go, I know these people. I know you. But also LA has its own kind of crunchiness. So LA has its own kind of dirtbag.
26:00 H. Foley? Great.
26:00 Speaker 01 West coast dirtbag that we not, you know, we're more east coast dirt, you know. We can gauge those. Some of those characters were a little.
26:06 Speaker 03 They come in, you squirrel.
26:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:08 Speaker 03 Squirreling.
26:08 H. Foley? Keeping an eye on them, that's for sure.
26:09 Speaker 01 So we got, we got, we got a little table in a corner, back on a wall, fucking pivot.
26:13 Speaker 03 Which, you know, the Jesse James move back to the wall.
26:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, check the perimeter.
26:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:17 H. Foley? When there's, uh, when there's, um, older ladies at the bar just hanging out.
26:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:21 H. Foley? It's usually a dead giveaway.
26:23 Speaker 01 Man, and there was one, she was older. She looked younger, but she was older when you got closer.
26:29 H. Foley? You're talking about the one that was, the bigger lady that was sitting?
26:32 Speaker 01 No, it was in the white with the sweat.
26:33 H. Foley? She was kinda hot.
26:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, she was. And dude, every dude, I saw a dude kiss her on the neck, like going in for, you know, he was, he was a barfly, she was a barfly. He's like, oh, come here. And he was like doing this to like, and she came in and he went.
26:46 H. Foley? That was alright.
26:47 Speaker 01 Right on her neck and I saw her like fucking.
26:50 H. Foley? Everybody was a character in there, dude. We saw this dude. He was, it was like something right out of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Tall, thin dude, looked like he could handle himself like, um, like a surfer, but older. Gray hair, the shorts, the grip shorts. And then the fucking Terminator 2 rap jacket.
27:09 Speaker 01 It was fucking cool.
27:10 H. Foley? This thing was sick.
27:12 Speaker 01 We all clocked it without even saying anything.
27:14 H. Foley? He's got a hat on, you know what I mean, like some like Captain Malibu hat, something like that, goes outside, goes all the way down, sits and rips a heater, like he's fucking standing on set, waiting for crews to show up. Phenomenal.
27:27 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, it was, it was cool. Great bar. But then while we were there, we were like, is this a, is this a gay bar?
27:32 Speaker 04 Not that there's anything wrong with that.
27:34 Speaker 01 Not that there's anything wrong with that, but we started looking around, it was mostly dudes.
27:37 H. Foley? Lot of dudes.
27:37 Speaker 01 Lot of dudes. There was like a rainbow thing, which was, again, fine, but, and then frolic is a bit of a
27:43 Speaker 04 Starting to put a couple things together.
27:45 Speaker 01 fancier term a little bit, you know what I mean? If you were like, I'd go, we started putting two and two together and I was like, and I put it in Google, is frolic room, and first of all, I gotta tell you, whether it was or wasn't, I wasn't going anywhere, those beers were
27:58 Speaker 04 Ice cold.
27:58 H. Foley? They were unbelievable.
27:59 Speaker 01 The Budweiser was actually covered in ice. It was like
28:02 H. Foley? It was nuts.
28:03 Speaker 01 It was sick.
28:04 H. Foley? Um, when I went to the bathroom, my Bluetooth guys, and I was asking them
28:07 Speaker 01 They didn't seem gay.
28:09 Speaker 04 They confirmed it is not a gay bar. Yeah.
28:12 H. Foley? Yeah.
28:12 Speaker 04 Those two, yeah. Very trustworthy.
28:14 H. Foley? But pay well.
28:16 Speaker 01 But, uh
28:16 H. Foley? Very generous men.
28:17 Speaker 01 It wasn't, and we hung out there for a good while, but then we were gonna go relocate, big man wanted a little din-din or a little snack or something.
28:24 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
28:24 Speaker 01 And we didn't, you were trying to push for a restaurant.
28:26 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
28:27 Speaker 01 Which we do love, but we, me and, me and you drink a little differently.
28:31 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
28:32 Speaker 01 Me and Colin have, our cycles have synced, I mean
28:35 H. Foley? You guys shut it off. You guys turn on, when you guys start drinking, you turn the hot water off. I always keep a little bit of hot water running.
28:42 Speaker 01 I don't know what that means.
28:43 H. Foley? It means you don't eat. You guys wanna get all, you wanna get all fucked up.
28:46 Speaker 01 We're drinking.
28:47 Speaker 04 Don't mess with the buzz.
28:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, dude.
28:49 H. Foley? How does that mess with the buzz? You go, you sit down, you get an appetizer, you pick at it.
28:54 Speaker 04 I'll fall asleep.
28:55 H. Foley? You'll fall asleep.
28:56 Speaker 01 I'm like, I can't go to, I can't go to a waiter and have a waiter start regulating my consumption.
29:01 H. Foley? He ordered two, three beers at a time.
29:03 Speaker 01 I tell, but then they're sitting there getting warm.
29:04 H. Foley? And you say to them, listen, I've been to the puppet show, I've seen the trains, I know how this works.
29:10 Speaker 04 Give me a bucket of ice. I don't know why they don't like me. It's crazy.
29:13 Speaker 01 Talking to the bouncer, you should've killed
29:16 Speaker 01 Should've killed me when you had the chance, you dumb motherfuckers.
29:18 H. Foley? Yeah, that's all I was thinking. I like that little bacon.
29:21 Speaker 01 I know, but dude, we are posted up in a perfect corner of the perfect dive bar with literally the coldest beers. And we were drinking them fast. We were crushing beers. And you're like, I'm hungry. And we go, okay, let's go to a bar that has food so we can continue to operate how me and Collin are operating, happy middle. You can operate how you operate with a little bit of grub.
29:43 Speaker 01 And I probably would've dabbled too, a handful of beers later, you know what I mean? Yeah, a fridge and a couple of mozzarella. I don't care, you know. It's vacation. Fucking cold red-blooded American.
29:52 H. Foley? Who don't like a mozzarella stick? Sammy?
29:55 Speaker 03 What's up?
29:55 H. Foley? You can't do a mozzarella stick?
29:58 Speaker 03 I mean, I came back and I had some pizza.
30:00 Speaker 01 Powered through pizza, yeah.
30:02 Speaker 03 I've been playing the trumpet all morning.
30:03 H. Foley? Jesus. Man, if I was allergic to cheese, I don't know what I'd do.
30:07 Speaker 01 You'd probably be 300 pounds lighter. Talking of mozzarella, you should've killed me when you had the chance.
30:16 H. Foley? I love that mozzarella, eh? I like the shredded stuff. I'll do that instead of something else if it's in the fridge.
30:23 Speaker 01 What, the shredded?
30:24 H. Foley? Yeah, shredded mozzarella.
30:25 Speaker 01 The stuff they put on that to keep it from coagulating is bad though.
30:29 H. Foley? It's bad for you? Okay.
30:33 H. Foley? You know what's bad for you? Yakarooni.
30:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's why I also don't do that.
30:40 H. Foley? Yakarooni.
30:41 Speaker 01 So I was blowing guys at the frolic room.
30:42 H. Foley? What?
30:43 Speaker 03 No, that'll extend your life, I think.
30:45 H. Foley? I had to find out.
30:47 Speaker 01 Hey, my buddies aren't gonna believe me. This is a gay bar. Let me blow you the fuck. Bring your buddy in here and we'll really test it, okay?
30:53 H. Foley? I couldn't do that with Kevin. Couldn't do anything sexual with him.
30:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, no one's asking you to. You keep bringing this up. I've never been like, hey.
30:59 H. Foley? Listen, I just think we're better off as friends.
31:00 Speaker 01 Sure, that's fair.
31:01 H. Foley? Take care.
31:02 Speaker 01 But, so then he, so we find another elbow room or something we're gonna walk to. Yeah. And Collie's learning the big man's behaviors. You know what I mean? The big man, listen. I got a trail cam set up by his room. I know, and he's coming out, coming and going.
31:18 H. Foley? You're the trainer at the zoo that actually locks himself in the gorilla cage for the first time?
31:23 Speaker 01 What the heck? Turn around, you're just sitting in the corner looking at me.
31:26 H. Foley? I come walking out.
31:29 H. Foley? Just looking at you.
31:30 Speaker 04 Someone get me a banana, quick.
31:33 H. Foley? Stick it up his ass.
31:38 Speaker 01 As the big man, you know, massages truths from time to time, you need to do the same, you know, his reality is in reality. You need to then also, you can't just hit him with hard facts all the time. You know?
31:50 H. Foley? Like a 10 minute walk.
31:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, he said-
31:52 H. Foley? When I got five, six, seven beers in me.
31:55 Speaker 01 He said it's a 10-
31:56 H. Foley? That makes me sleepy.
31:57 Speaker 01 It's also so funny for Colin to go, like Colin's like, dude, it's a 10 minute walk, like thinking that's okay in his world.
32:02 H. Foley? I'm sorry I hit you.
32:03 Speaker 01 And you go, uh... Sorry Colin, sorry about those things I said about your mother.
32:11 Speaker 01 Colin's like, it's a 10 minute walk. He goes, 10 minute walk? I go, no, it's not. And Colin goes, yeah, it's a 5 minute walk. I go, ooh, thank God. Like, you believed him. It's like, dude, he lied to you, like, in the same sense.
32:21 H. Foley? I didn't even notice.
32:22 Speaker 01 I know.
32:22 H. Foley? I thought you were talking about another place.
32:25 Speaker 04 How we really slipped it in was, I messed up the first time. I said it's a 10 minute walk and Kevin's like, no, it's not. And like, we had lost it for a second, and then you brought it back. You're like, dude, I'm not walking 10 minutes. I was like, no, we're gonna go to the elbow room. It's 2 minutes.
32:37 Speaker 01 It's the same place.
32:38 Speaker 04 And we said the same name and you're like, oh, okay, I could do 2 minutes.
32:41 Speaker 01 You're like, I'm not walking-
32:42 H. Foley? Jack, please.
32:43 Speaker 01 I'm not walking 10 minutes to the elbow room. No, we're going to the elbow room. It's 2 minutes away.
32:46 H. Foley? But then I got outside like a dog getting sent to the vet, and there was something about you two that I didn't trust. So I pulled the trigger and said, let's just go back to the house.
32:53 Speaker 01 I had a feeling, he started going, you know what? Let's just go back and see what the bullshit did to me while you were motherfucking-
32:58 H. Foley? Nah, I don't know about you fellas.
32:59 Speaker 01 You were motherfucking them. I don't know, fuck the assholes don't wanna come hang out. What else you get out there? You start seeing that this might be 10 minutes?
33:06 H. Foley? Yeah, I didn't know. I don't know if I should go with you fellas.
33:09 Speaker 04 I'm looking 2 minutes that way, and 2 minutes that way, and I don't see an elbow room.
33:17 H. Foley? Yeah, I don't know.
33:18 Speaker 01 I see a Bally's Total Fitness and I ain't falling for that.
33:22 H. Foley? It's like 12 years of slave. You guys get me out there, get me drunk. All of a sudden, I wake up walking somewhere.
33:28 Speaker 01 Just right this way.
33:29 H. Foley? I just wanted to go back to the house.
33:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, that was a great, but then we got back here, you're like, you want to go out? And I'm like, dude, we were just fucking.
33:34 H. Foley? I was pushing to go with Rubes. I wanted to go hang with, you know, Rubes is a Hollywood kid.
33:39 Speaker 01 I know.
33:40 H. Foley? He's got his own things going on out here, you know, he was, he was doing a couple, moving and shaking, doing a couple of spots. You know what I mean? So I wanted to go with Rubes and hang with Rubes.
33:48 Speaker 03 And, and.
33:48 Speaker 01 Sam's like, what's his name in Donnie Brasco that starts to go doing coke deals at the motel? On his own, he's out, he's out here operating. We, you guys bump in.
33:56 H. Foley? Rubinoff took a spot at the improv, that's why he's dead. Jesus Christ, Kippy.
34:02 Speaker 01 Couldn't be, we couldn't be trusted, he's making his bed, he's fucking doing spots, I don't know what's going on.
34:07 H. Foley? I'm making you say, say his name, say his name.
34:10 Speaker 03 But, yeah, I said you could have come, but then.
34:12 H. Foley? You didn't want me to, they didn't want me to go.
34:14 Speaker 03 You, you, that was you being, uh, in your head fully.
34:18 H. Foley? Second guess fully?
34:19 Speaker 03 Yeah. So if I would have been like. What are you gonna do, are you gonna be hanging out in the green room? I'm like, yeah, I'm booked on a show, I might be in the green room and you are a comic and you can come there. And I'm sure you're welcome.
34:27 H. Foley? You would have wanted me to go.
34:29 Speaker 03 I was fine either way, but I didn't want you to come in the state that you were in.
34:35 Speaker 01 Drunk?
34:35 Speaker 04 We were just trying to suggest Rubes was going in with a mission.
34:38 Speaker 01 To operate, he's moving and shaking, he's got a.
34:40 Speaker 04 Sometimes you gotta go in tight.
34:42 Speaker 01 He was scheduled to talk to some people.
34:43 H. Foley? Who's better to go on a mission than Uncle Hank?
34:47 Speaker 04 Ryan, Luke, Kevin, Colin, Rubes, uh, the guy that dropped us off last night. The guy that checked the bags at LAX.
34:55 H. Foley? The guy who blew in the frolic room? You never even see me, dude, I'm like a ninja. I would have slipped right into the corner of the bar, I would have had him on comms. If he needed me, I would have been there, otherwise I'm just chilling in the corner.
35:07 Speaker 01 You're talking to Rubinoff, hey, ask him, you're in his ear, ask him if he's mad at me. Ask him if he's mad at me and he thinks I'm cute.
35:14 H. Foley? Have they seen the show, I repeat, have they seen the show?
35:17 Speaker 03 Can we go home? I want to go home.
35:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
35:20 H. Foley? Chopper's coming in.
35:21 Speaker 01 Dude, there's been a lot of chopper circle in the house.
35:23 H. Foley? Everybody scatter.
35:24 Speaker 01 That's like the fourth or fifth one.
35:26 H. Foley? Yeah, they're looking for somebody.
35:28 Speaker 01 Probably you.
35:30 Speaker 01 Bugman's back.
35:31 H. Foley? I would love to run from a chopper. That would be so fun.
35:34 Speaker 01 Two minutes to the elbow room. Now you wanna run from a chopper?
35:39 H. Foley? It'd be fun. The light on, you can't get away from that thing. You gotta go to LAX. That's what you do. You drive to LAX.
35:46 Speaker 01 Because they can't fly in the airspace.
35:47 H. Foley? Can't fly in the airspace. You park the car in there, kill the attendant, obviously. You take his car, go to his house.
35:54 Speaker 01 Have sex with his wife.
35:55 H. Foley? Have sex with his wife.
35:57 Speaker 01 Gotta play the part.
35:58 H. Foley? Sure. You dye your hair, you lose 30 pounds, you get in a neighbor's car, drive straight down to Mexico, go right to the cartel, say, listen, I'm all yours, whatever you need. I got insider information about Sam Rubinoff.
36:13 H. Foley? It's crazy you didn't want him to go with you. Yeah. We would've had a good time. Would've had fun.
36:18 Speaker 01 It would've made for a great story, I believe, yeah.
36:22 H. Foley? Foley got thrown out of the last.
36:23 Speaker 01 You've fallen down a flight of stairs.
36:26 H. Foley? There were a lot of stairs there. Really? Yes. Huh. Yeah. Okay. Just so you know.
36:31 Speaker 01 Looking up the stairs, you should've killed me when you had the chance.
36:35 H. Foley? I don't know about this, Rubes.
36:38 Speaker 01 Rubes, stand-up comedy's overrated. This little town stinks.
36:43 H. Foley? What a trip.
36:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's been fantastic. It's a little sad, Colly's flying out early. He's just banding the team.
36:50 H. Foley? Yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow morning. You have no idea. I hate that. I know. I hate when somebody meets us somewhere or when somebody flies out early. I like when everybody goes together. That way, if we're all in the same plane.
37:02 Speaker 01 Alright, easy does it.
37:05 H. Foley? Want us all to go together. Cause I don't mind dying, I just don't wanna be the dickhead that goes by himself.
37:09 Speaker 01 If I die next to you, I'm gonna kill myself.
37:11 H. Foley? You probably would. You'd be upset, wouldn't you?
37:13 Speaker 01 What?
37:13 H. Foley? What do you think the last?
37:14 Speaker 01 Well, if I didn't go with my wife and kids, or like, I guess I don't wanna go with them, but. What?
37:18 H. Foley? What do you think the last thing you'd say to me was? I've already thought about it in my head. I know what I'd say to him.
37:24 Speaker 01 Yeah. I'm sure it's probably not sweet.
37:26 H. Foley? No, it's very sweet. I love you, buddy. I'm glad I'm going out with you. We're gonna be alright.
37:32 Speaker 01 Psych!
37:34 H. Foley? But anyway, he said there was one parachute. I gotta get out of here. Good luck with everything. Don't forget to call. I'd go down with the plane. I'd give you the parachute. You got a child, family, people that love you. Yeah. Plus, I could throw that in your face for all eternity.
37:49 H. Foley? I could pull the Clooney, I'm going down with the ship like that.
37:52 Speaker 01 Can't be, you shit.
37:53 H. Foley? Fucking pussy.
37:57 H. Foley? Tell everybody how cool I was.
38:00 H. Foley? Don't anybody know I was crying.
38:04 H. Foley? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, but I fucking love you, dog. Going out together.
38:08 Speaker 01 I had probably.
38:08 H. Foley? That's how you gotta do it. It's over, it's a wrap. It's gonna be two seconds and it's gonna be nothing.
38:12 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
38:13 H. Foley? Or we're gonna burn for a long time. It's gonna suck.
38:17 H. Foley? Fucking doing that shit, freaking out on each other.
38:21 Speaker 01 I'm punching it up with the flames.
38:23 H. Foley? Did you ever hear, did you ever hear the audio of that, that?
38:24 Speaker 01 Alright, easy. I mean, hey, hey, hey, woo, Banga, Banga Louie and stuff. Dude, I gotta keep you on a short leash.
38:30 Speaker 03 Would you feel anything about, like, how about all the boys back in coach?
38:33 H. Foley? Oh, you guys are on the flight?
38:34 Speaker 03 Yeah. I thought you said you want us all to be fine together.
38:38 H. Foley? Yeah, well, I can't run back and, and, and, and, it's not a wedding.
38:40 Speaker 01 I know you can't run. Run back and start trying to make out with Colin.
38:45 H. Foley? Yeah, I mean, you know, I hope you guys are tight together in your foxhole. We're in our foxhole. You know what I mean?
38:51 Speaker 03 Separate but equal.
38:52 H. Foley? Same, but what, what, what do you mean?
38:54 Speaker 01 Same, same.
38:54 H. Foley? I can't get up out of my seatbelt.
38:58 H. Foley? The one thing I would do is I would yell at the flight attendants to shut the fuck up. Because I've seen in the videos where they're just repeating, "Brace for impact, hey, me, me, me, me." And they do it in a very non-performative way. It stinks. I don't wanna listen to your fucking voice as we're, as I'm five minutes away from hell. Shut the fuck up. We all have our fucking heads down. You know the thing they say? It's like, "Brace for impact, head between your knees," and they keep repeating it. Because you got morons on the fucking plane. Probably got some asshole getting up trying to get his overhead.
39:28 Speaker 01 Read the room. Everybody just put the mic down.
39:34 Speaker 01 What the fuck?
39:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, dude, that would, that would be awful, just to hear something over and over.
39:39 H. Foley? Dude, for sure.
39:40 Speaker 01 That you don't wanna hear. No, we're talking about you.
39:45 H. Foley? Put your mics down.
39:45 Speaker 03 And you feel like you're gonna die and like you can't escape it, dude. That would stink.
39:49 Speaker 01 And it's relentless.
39:51 H. Foley? Kimmy, what do you know about Lucy?
39:52 Speaker 01 Ooh, who don't love Lucy?
39:54 H. Foley? Nah, I'm talking about the girl you went to school with. Talking about Lucy Breakers.
39:56 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
39:57 H. Foley? Talking about 100% pure nicotine, no tobacco.
39:59 Speaker 01 Never no tobacco.
40:00 H. Foley? Never no tobacco. You got mint, you got wintergreen, and you got a little capsule inside. You pop that. Little hydration, little extra flavor.
40:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:08 H. Foley? And who doesn't want that?
40:09 Speaker 01 Who don't need that? Who? Forget about wanting it. Everybody needs it.
40:13 H. Foley? Stop going to the, the, the, the, the gas station to get your gear.
40:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:18 H. Foley? Use Lucy Breakers.
40:19 Speaker 01 Uh, yeah, Lucy is a long time sponsor of the show. Shout out to them. But, listen, I gotta be honest with you, break the fourth wall here. Whenever they send their package, the boys-
40:28 H. Foley? Little Loogie comes sneaking in.
40:29 Speaker 01 Everybody comes over, "Let me get this, let me get the mint, let me get the wintergreen."
40:33 H. Foley? Who don't like wintergreen?
40:34 Speaker 01 Let me get the fours, the 12s, whatever you need, they got ya.
40:37 H. Foley? Give it, give it.
40:38 Speaker 01 Um, let's level up your nicotine routine. Go to lucy.co/garbage. Use the promo code garbage to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind, because they're good peeps over there. Again, lucy.co, use the code garbage. 20% off. That ain't, that ain't 5%, that ain't 10%, I'm talking 20%.
40:54 H. Foley? Wait, is it 15?
40:55 Speaker 01 Nope, it's 20, big man. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every dollar is age, every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is addictive chemical. Do it.
41:07 H. Foley? Gang, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. As you know, October 10th, World Mental Health Day.
41:12 Speaker 01 Yes.
41:13 H. Foley? Shining the light on therapists to make the world a better place. Listen, you know we're crazy.
41:17 Speaker 01 Woo-hoo.
41:17 H. Foley? We go to therapy, we do talk therapy. BetterHelp can help. You get a licensed therapist right in your own home. It's absolutely fantastic. Plus, you're gonna get it for a fraction of the cost of going in and talking to one of them other bozos.
41:28 Speaker 01 Yeah. Uh, guys, like I've said many a times, uh, my mental health journey has been a bumpy ride, smooth at sometimes, bumpy at others.
41:35 H. Foley? Screwballs party too.
41:36 Speaker 01 That's what it is. Every, that, every, first of all, let's cut the crap. Everyone's dealing with that. And therapists, different therapists throughout my mental health journey have given me a lot of help, a lot of context to things, and a lot of the tools to be able to deal with it. And I'm forever grateful to those therapists. And we want everybody to realize, uh, the right therapist can change a lot, can change everything for you. BetterHelp has 12-plus years of experiencing, experience in matching people with the right therapist. Like, uh, the big man always says, they, if they're fully licensed in the US and they might not have what you're looking for in your local area, but you can find the right therapist for you-
42:08 H. Foley? On BetterHelp.
42:09 Speaker 01 If you need a specialist. Um, this World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can start you on that journey. Uh, our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/garbage. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com, slash garbage. Do it.
42:27 H. Foley? Well, anyway, that's what I tell you.
42:29 Speaker 01 Ah, thanks.
42:29 H. Foley? I tell you, I love you.
42:30 Speaker 01 I appreciate that, after you screamed at a flight attendant who was trying to help you.
42:34 H. Foley? They're not trying to help. We're already, listen.
42:36 Speaker 01 Okay, alright.
42:37 H. Foley? Helping anybody, alright?
42:38 Speaker 01 Um, Colin is leaving early because he is attending a wedding.
42:43 Speaker 04 Attending a wedding, I'm in a wedding.
42:45 H. Foley? A Pittsburgh wedding?
42:46 Speaker 04 Yeah, dude, it's, it's, I think at this age.
42:49 Speaker 01 That's how I do, I picture it, is that scene in Deer Hunter, I really do.
42:53 H. Foley? Mary Kowalowski's getting married to Johnny Wicketkowsky.
42:56 Speaker 01 It's a bunch of fat pole dogs.
42:57 Speaker 04 You're not wrong. You're not completely wrong. There's gonna be a cookie table.
43:03 Speaker 01 A cookie table?
43:04 Speaker 04 You don't know about the cookie table?
43:05 Speaker 01 No.
43:05 Speaker 04 Dude, the co- the Pittsburgh cookie.
43:07 Speaker 01 Were you in Foley's room again?
43:11 H. Foley? I'd appreciate if you'd stay out of my room.
43:13 Speaker 04 The cookie table's the bar he wants to go to tonight.
43:16 H. Foley? Oh, the cookie table?
43:18 Speaker 01 Well, you don't know Rudy from the cookie table?
43:19 Speaker 04 It's two minutes from the elbow room, it's not far.
43:22 H. Foley? I'll be over at the birthday cake if you need me. Hey, Dylan.
43:24 Speaker 04 Definitely a straight bar, by the way. Yeah, the cookie, Pittsburgh thing, I guess, the cookie ta- like, where you have just a table, like, you have a wedding cake, but then you have a table where like, everybody brings cookies.
43:36 H. Foley? From the house.
43:37 Speaker 04 And so, it's like usually you make. Usually like, I think.
43:40 H. Foley? The old broad, they bake them. Oh, I love them.
43:42 Speaker 04 I think when you were like, you know, getting married in fire halls, people were just bringing like, I'm bringing lady locks, I'm bringing chocolate chips, you know, and then you have this whole table of cookies.
43:50 H. Foley? I love a homemade cookie tray.
43:52 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:53 H. Foley? I really do. My mom, my mom's hairdresser's mom throws one out every Christmas.
43:58 Speaker 01 Your mom's hairdresser's mom?
44:00 H. Foley? My mom's hairdresser's mother puts them out.
44:05 Speaker 04 At your house? How do you get invited to this party?
44:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a stretch, dude.
44:09 H. Foley? No, no, no, she, she sells them at Christmas.
44:12 Speaker 04 Oh, she sells them?
44:13 H. Foley? Comes to the house.
44:13 Speaker 01 Gotcha, okay.
44:14 Speaker 04 Oh.
44:14 H. Foley? So, cookie table, will there be, will there be like any pierogies or anything like that there?
44:20 Speaker 04 No, I don't think it'll be like a traditional.
44:22 H. Foley? This isn't that old school.
44:23 Speaker 04 No, like, if you were going like, getting married in a fire hall, something like that, there would be. Rigatoni, or baked ziti, pierogies.
44:31 Speaker 01 I love that baked ziti.
44:32 Speaker 04 Fried chicken, you know, um, stuff like that.
44:35 H. Foley? Yeah, dude, I love that.
44:37 Speaker 01 Do you know if this is a, is this a buffet or a seated affair?
44:39 Speaker 04 I think this is a seated affair.
44:41 H. Foley? Did you pick, did you pick an entree?
44:42 Speaker 04 But I haven't picked, so it might be a buffet.
44:44 H. Foley? Huh.
44:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, I haven't picked any, I'll be honest.
44:46 H. Foley? What'd you pick?
44:46 Speaker 04 I have not done a great job of, like, keeping track of
44:50 Speaker 01 What's going on at the wedding?
44:51 Speaker 04 What's going on. As a, as a groomsmen, I've sort of been given instructions of when I have to show up.
44:56 Speaker 01 Have you, okay, you said so groomsmen, you, you mentioned renting the tux.
45:00 Speaker 04 I gotta rent it, yeah.
45:01 Speaker 01 At sending you to.
45:01 H. Foley? Wait, you didn't already do that?
45:02 Speaker 04 No, it's, it's rented, but.
45:04 Speaker 01 Have you tried it on yet?
45:05 Speaker 04 I have not tried.
45:06 Speaker 01 Cause you can get real, I've been jammed up.
45:08 H. Foley? Dude, you nuts?
45:09 Speaker 04 Dude, I, I, I'm here. Where, where was I gonna try it on?
45:12 H. Foley? Get you one in LA.
45:13 Speaker 04 I, I fly in, or I drive to Pittsburgh on Thursday, but by the time we get in, it's gonna be closed. I can only try on the tux Friday morning, and the wedding is Saturday.
45:23 H. Foley? What's that, that drive from New York to Pittsburgh?
45:25 Speaker 04 So, we are really just.
45:26 H. Foley? Six hours?
45:27 Speaker 04 Yeah. We're just crossing the fingers that, like, eating a breakfast burrito every day for 10 days straight and drinking 10 Bud Lights at night before bed didn't do what I think it's gonna do.
45:37 Speaker 01 I think it's gonna do what it's gonna do.
45:39 Speaker 04 I'm gonna be eating charcoal briquettes on the plane, trying to detox. Yeah.
45:45 H. Foley? Um, everybody has to wear the same, everybody's getting the tux in the same place, right?
45:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're all, we're all getting the.
45:51 Speaker 01 How many guys are in it?
45:52 Speaker 04 I think it's, uh, four groom, best man and three groomsmen.
45:57 Speaker 01 That's not bad.
45:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, so four toes.
45:58 Speaker 01 You're a groomsmen, not the best man.
46:00 Speaker 04 Not the best man.
46:01 H. Foley? But you were involved in organizing the bachelor party, right?
46:03 Speaker 04 I was involved with that, yeah.
46:04 H. Foley? Which seemed pretty cool. You guys got rented a house, you did paintball.
46:06 Speaker 01 Pokenos.
46:07 H. Foley? Pokenos, hung out.
46:08 Speaker 01 Also, shout out Ray.
46:09 H. Foley? Yeah, shout out to Ray.
46:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
46:10 H. Foley? Um, who's getting, who's getting married. Great comic.
46:13 Speaker 01 What'd you say?
46:13 Speaker 04 He'll be dead soon. Yeah, yeah.
46:15 H. Foley? Um, what's going in?
46:22 Speaker 04 The envelope. How much money? Yeah.
46:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, you know, you done, the fact that you had to ask how much.
46:27 Speaker 04 Well dude, I texted him, I said like, You're not buying something, are you? I said, like, what do you, like, what do you prefer? I was like, is there something you need, or do you just want cash? And he was like, I just want cash.
46:37 Speaker 01 Cause he's bootstrapping this shit.
46:38 Speaker 04 Shout out to Ray. He's, yeah, he's, he's in Albany right now. He's in Albany in a college cafeteria playing Whose Line Is It Anyway? Trying to, trying to get this thing paid for. Love it. Where, any penny helps, but I was thinking 300.
46:52 Speaker 01 Wow, that's very good.
46:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
46:54 Speaker 01 That's good.
46:55 Speaker 04 Buck 50 each, you know?
46:56 Speaker 03 That's very good, or that's just standard?
46:59 Speaker 01 I think that's good.
47:01 Speaker 04 I mean, dude, I'm, I'm not.
47:03 Speaker 03 I would do the same.
47:04 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:05 Speaker 03 But these guys throw around money.
47:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:07 Speaker 01 No, that's, that's, 300's great.
47:09 Speaker 04 300, I'm a C-level headliner. I'm doing papered rooms.
47:13 Speaker 01 300, yeah, no, 300's for, you know.
47:17 Speaker 04 For Colin.
47:18 Speaker 01 For a guy like you, that's 300, 300's great.
47:20 Speaker 04 Hank has not said. That's terrible, a guy like you, what are you doing? This is the quietest Hank has been. It's got nothing to do with how much money you have.
47:27 Speaker 01 Yes, that's specifically what it has to do.
47:29 Speaker 04 I don't have any.
47:30 Speaker 01 And that, you, listen, no one should be taking financial advice from you.
47:34 Speaker 04 This was a gift, it's a Seiko, and I just like it. How much would you think I should give him? You give him 500. No. Are you crazy? 500 dollars? Where am I gonna find 500? I barely, I gotta borrow 250 from my dad. It's your boy. To get him the three. You're a groomsman. Dude, first of all, this idea.
47:49 Speaker 01 Listen, if they're boys, he should understand that, like, hey, don't give me money you don't have.
47:53 Speaker 04 Right. Yeah, I'm probably gonna, one of us is gonna borrow it off of each other in the next year anyway.
47:59 Speaker 04 It's really just a short-term loan. My kinda guy. You're taking it from after the wedding, that's right here, I got it. But dude, like this, I, I think it's also crazy, like, he, when he asked me to be a groomsman, he's like, hey, I want you to be a groomsman.
48:11 Speaker 01 He's gotta drive six hours to Pittsburgh.
48:13 Speaker 04 I gotta drive, I gotta do this, I gotta do this whole thing.
48:15 Speaker 01 The bachelor party?
48:16 Speaker 04 Yeah, I had to pay for that. It's like, and Ray's like, dude, you should be on. I would, I go, he asked me to be a groomsman, I go, okay, cool. And he's like, you're not gonna say thanks? I'm like, For what?
48:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:25 Speaker 04 Like, you're not one of the knights of the round table. You know what I mean?
48:28 Speaker 01 You're not honored?
48:29 Speaker 04 Yeah, like it's like-
48:30 Speaker 01 Holy shit, were you Ray's best man?
48:32 Speaker 04 I'm not second to you in a battle, you know, it's like, it's crazy.
48:36 H. Foley? Well, you're supposed to say, "Thank you, thank you, man, I'm honored."
48:38 Speaker 04 Dude, that's crazy.
48:39 H. Foley? You didn't say that?
48:40 Speaker 04 It's not honorable.
48:41 H. Foley? When he asks you, "What'd you do?" Fuck!
48:43 Speaker 04 Dude, and part of me was like-
48:44 H. Foley? I guess.
48:45 Speaker 04 You're doing this on a weekend, like, you know when we work, right? Like, I was like-
48:48 Speaker 01 That's all, you know, that's missed income.
48:50 Speaker 04 You couldn't get a Tuesday?
48:51 H. Foley? I got a late shift on Saturday.
48:53 Speaker 04 You didn't get a one nighter?
48:54 Speaker 01 At least it was Sunday night, I can get back and done.
48:56 H. Foley? This is a Pittsburgh wedding.
48:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:58 H. Foley? I gotta fucking work, I ain't got time to come to the wedding.
49:00 Speaker 04 You wouldn't believe how many people have asked, like, alright, the Steelers are at home, so I can't play. You know, I can't get the hotel, cause it'll be in traffic on the way back.
49:09 H. Foley? Right.
49:09 Speaker 04 You know, that's a big-
49:10 Speaker 01 It's a Saturday night.
49:11 Speaker 04 Saturday night.
49:12 H. Foley? Steelers are playing Sunday.
49:14 Speaker 04 Steelers are playing Sunday.
49:14 H. Foley? Alright.
49:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:16 H. Foley? Yeah, you gotta coordinate, listen, I give you that, you gotta coordinate. Anyway, I'm just being a fucking asshole. That 350 is great, you got all that stuff.
49:22 Speaker 01 It was 300.
49:22 Speaker 04 By the way, it's 300.
49:24 H. Foley? It was 300.
49:24 Speaker 04 Depending on whether this is public or not, it might be 200. You know what I mean? So, it really depends.
49:32 H. Foley? When's this come out, alright?
49:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
49:34 Speaker 01 It depends if Ray listens to this or not. Luke, chop it up so it makes it look like you gave him three grand.
49:40 H. Foley? After the show, you text him, "Listen, are you garbage at all?"
49:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, right.
49:43 Speaker 01 Those guys stink.
49:44 H. Foley? It's not that great of a show, to be honest.
49:45 Speaker 04 The final cut is just me, I'm gonna give him $3,000 if the voiceover-
49:50 H. Foley? Put it in there, that'd be great.
49:52 Speaker 04 I feel like if you're in the wedding party, you shouldn't have to give a gift.
49:55 Speaker 01 Dude, I don't think that- I don't disagree with that.
49:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:59 Speaker 01 I don't disagree with that. Dude, they are expensive.
50:02 Speaker 04 Or-
50:03 Speaker 01 I married Phil and Lauren, and I had to like, pay like, 120 bucks to get the thing, to get certified, then the tux. And plus, I was very tight on cash at the time.
50:12 H. Foley? Oh man, you were fucking, dude, you-
50:14 Speaker 01 They're well aware, I stiffed them.
50:16 H. Foley? This guy pulled into town on fumes, I remember that.
50:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:19 H. Foley? Didn't I, didn't, didn't you ask, didn't I offer to loan you something, back then?
50:24 Speaker 01 Hey, can you think of a story where I was the hero?
50:28 Speaker 01 Hey, I don't remember, but that's something I feel like you should tell people I did.
50:31 H. Foley? I've done that, I've saved your life on a plane.
50:34 Speaker 01 We've each lent each other money.
50:36 H. Foley? Of course.
50:36 Speaker 01 I think, I don't know if I've really ever lent you money.
50:39 H. Foley? Yeah, you for sure have. Definitely bought me a meal.
50:42 Speaker 01 Oh, I mean, yeah, that's not lending money.
50:44 H. Foley? Gave me clothes.
50:44 Speaker 01 I funded your heater habit for fucking 25 years.
50:48 H. Foley? Funded my heater habit for years, give me clothes.
50:49 Speaker 01 Also, for the listener, Foley's, we're out of heaters, Foley's taken them out of the ashtray and ripped. I don't know if you see, also, this is how dirtbags, we've been using the fire pit as an ash. We're gonna have to probably clean those out. That seems pretty crazy to leave.
51:03 Speaker 04 Do that or start a fire.
51:04 Speaker 01 But there's a full heater in there. Would you sm- there's an unlit heater in there.
51:08 H. Foley? Where is it?
51:08 Speaker 01 It's behind that brick.
51:10 H. Foley? Okay.
51:11 Speaker 01 That seems up your alley?
51:12 H. Foley? Yeah, it's clean ash. Nobody spit in there, did they?
51:16 Speaker 01 Um.
51:16 Speaker 04 I mean, I don't know.
51:18 H. Foley? I mean, I just, listen, we've been smoking heaters, okay? If I'm smoking heaters.
51:24 Speaker 01 You've been, your heater, your heater game is heavier than it was.
51:29 H. Foley? No, don't do that, don't do that, don't say that, cut that, don't say that. That's not true. That's, you're lying. Ladies and gentlemen, this man is an alcoholic.
51:38 Speaker 01 And he should have killed me when he had the chance. Um, I mean, I've never seen you take one out of the, out of the thing.
51:45 H. Foley? Because. Because.
51:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, think of something. I need them to get going.
51:51 H. Foley? Because.
51:52 Speaker 01 Have you heard Constance give fucking $300? Fucking scumbag.
51:57 H. Foley? It's Yom Kippur.
51:59 Speaker 01 I gotta get to Sam's aunt's house. I don't have time to answer your questions.
52:03 H. Foley? I can't be buying cigarettes at 7-Eleven on Yom Kippur. Um, because when I get up in the morning, when I'm on heaters. What's this guy raking in the fucking patio?
52:14 Speaker 01 I can probably hear you, relax.
52:19 H. Foley? Okay, everybody chill.
52:21 Speaker 01 It just got super, super weird.
52:24 H. Foley? Sam, don't say that.
52:26 Speaker 01 Sam Rubinoff.
52:28 H. Foley? I apologize. Because when I get up in the morning, I wanna have a heater. And I have my coffee, and I needed a heater, and you, you, you, you fat girl two of them last night. You fat, you drunk fat girl two of them last night.
52:50 H. Foley? Then I took you upstairs and
52:52 Speaker 01 And pooped in your pants.
52:56 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, but this goes back to, the Marlboro Lights aren't yours. You smoke all of, you've smoked all of yours, and then you just go, "These are mine," and they're not.
53:06 H. Foley? Oh, now we're pointing fingers.
53:07 Speaker 01 I know, but you can't-
53:08 H. Foley? It's not all for one. I saw you smoking a Camel Light yesterday.
53:12 Speaker 01 No, you didn't.
53:13 H. Foley? Yes, I did.
53:14 Speaker 01 No, you didn't.
53:14 H. Foley? Yes, you had one in your hand.
53:16 Speaker 01 No, I didn't.
53:17 H. Foley? What are we doing? He had it, right?
53:20 Speaker 01 Why, why, why, why don't you let me lie successfully to everybody?
53:22 H. Foley? No, no, no, you had a Camel, because there was no Marlboro Lights. You had a Camel.
53:26 Speaker 01 I did not, man.
53:27 H. Foley? You did. Admit that.
53:29 Speaker 01 I didn't.
53:30 H. Foley? It was at the airport.
53:31 Speaker 01 Rudy was there. Yesterday?
53:34 H. Foley? We weren't at the airport yesterday. No, it wasn't yesterday. Listen to me.
53:37 Speaker 01 Just let him lie.
53:38 H. Foley? I'm not lying. You had a Camel Light. I remember vividly seeing a Camel Light in your hand.
53:42 Speaker 01 You, um-
53:43 H. Foley? Because you said, "Other Marlboro Lights," and you said, and somebody said, "No."
53:45 Speaker 01 And I've been well documented that I'm not, listen-
53:48 H. Foley? Okay, maybe you didn't smoke it, but did you have that Camel Light in your hand?
53:50 Speaker 01 No, I've never touched one.
53:52 H. Foley? Well, did we go to dinner at Marvin? Tell me, did we go to dinner at Marvin?
53:55 Speaker 01 We were, you were at the dinner.
53:57 H. Foley? What did I have?
53:59 Speaker 01 A lot. Do you want me to, do you want the list alphabetical, or by, by weight?
54:04 H. Foley? You couldn't tell me everything I ate?
54:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, I could.
54:06 H. Foley? What did I have?
54:07 Speaker 01 Um-
54:08 H. Foley? Bolognese.
54:09 Speaker 01 The Bolognese.
54:10 H. Foley? Some of, uh, I think you had a little bit of Diesel's- Hey, hey, don't you got a wedding to get to?
54:14 Speaker 01 The steak tartare, the anchovy toast.
54:17 H. Foley? These are shared appetizers, ladies and gentlemen. Shared appetizers. Continue. You had some.
54:23 Speaker 01 Okay.
54:23 H. Foley? Anchovies?
54:24 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
54:25 H. Foley? On toast?
54:26 Speaker 01 Uh, the cheesecake.
54:29 H. Foley? I had a bite of cheesecake.
54:31 Speaker 01 Just, okay. Just cheesecake?
54:33 H. Foley? Uh huh.
54:34 Speaker 01 Tiramisu?
54:34 H. Foley? A bite.
54:36 Speaker 04 The toffee.
54:36 Speaker 01 The toffee cake.
54:38 H. Foley? One bite. The last bite, because you animals all ate it.
54:41 Speaker 04 No, there was still a bite left on the table you could have taken.
54:44 H. Foley? And I didn't.
54:45 Speaker 04 Right.
54:46 H. Foley? Thank you, Sammy.
54:46 Speaker 01 Octopus, persimmon, octopus. You want me to keep going?
54:50 H. Foley? Sounds like a pet store.
54:55 H. Foley? Holy shit.
54:57 Speaker 01 Who are you fucking Noah making the off?
54:58 H. Foley? Sounds like a werewolf gotten Petco. Cleaned everybody up. Two parakeets.
55:05 Speaker 01 A boa constrictor. I don't know how you died that.
55:09 Speaker 01 That was D. Boone. Um.
55:12 H. Foley? Lovely meal.
55:13 Speaker 01 It was, yeah, no, it was great. And I'm trashing it for comedic purposes, but we did order a hundred things and everybody, everybody down.
55:20 Speaker 04 Everyone picked, yeah.
55:22 Speaker 01 The spicy rigatoni.
55:23 H. Foley? I didn't have any of that.
55:25 Speaker 01 You didn't taste it?
55:26 H. Foley? No. And Diesel ate the rest of my pasta, which, by the way, disgusting. He ate food after me.
55:36 H. Foley? I'm aware of that, which is one more reason why you shouldn't eat after me. Kevin, do you eat after me?
55:41 Speaker 01 I have. We shared soup.
55:42 H. Foley? But you were drunk in Ireland.
55:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:45 H. Foley? You shared a cream soup with me.
55:47 Speaker 01 Ooh. So bad, dude.
55:49 H. Foley? You got two pints of Foley in you, baby.
55:50 Speaker 01 How drunk, do you know that, I mean, the how drunk I was?
55:53 Speaker 04 It's like jumping in a bath with somebody. That's tough.
55:55 H. Foley? I mean, he's, he's grossed out by me.
55:58 Speaker 01 Don't make it seem like I'm crazy.
56:00 H. Foley? No, no, no, I'm disgusting. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't, I didn't know.
56:03 Speaker 04 I mean, all human beings are kind of like, all human beings are gross. I wouldn't share cream soup with almost anybody.
56:08 H. Foley? But Luke, I'll, I'll eat whatever, I'll, I, I would, I would share a bowl of soup. I would take a bite of his soup while he was eating it. There's certain people. What are you doing? You're on the phone?
56:20 Speaker 01 I got meetings.
56:21 Speaker 04 I, I am pretty, it is astonishing that Luke just has no problem sharing a vape with you.
56:28 H. Foley? He does have a problem with it. He alcohol wipes it. Listen, I ain't, they didn't like that, man. What are you talking about? I'm not a fucking dirtbag.
56:35 Speaker 04 I will say, though, when we started this run, you said, I have a mysterious bump on the roof of my mouth, and I think I have a rotten tooth or a tooth infection. And then you go, Luke, let me get a drag off of that vape. Anyway.
56:47 H. Foley? First of all, I told you that in private.
56:49 Speaker 01 No, you told most of Terminal Four.
56:51 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're in baggage claim. I remember.
56:53 H. Foley? I gotta go to the dentist. I think my one tooth, I think I have a cavity in my one tooth. Yeah. And I think it's like, I think it has like a little abscess above it, or like some type of infection.
57:02 Speaker 04 Oh, that's not urgent at all.
57:03 H. Foley? Is it urgent? It doesn't hurt. The way I do, this is what I do when it comes to my teeth. All of a sudden.
57:12 Speaker 01 Forget all about them.
57:13 H. Foley? Well, first of all, I brush and floss and use mouthwash every day. That's the only, it's so crazy that flossing my teeth every single day, twice a day, is something that I do on a regular basis.
57:25 Speaker 01 See, there's a flossing when there's only six of them.
57:27 H. Foley? Takes me two seconds.
57:28 Speaker 01 That's three cracks.
57:30 H. Foley? I'm done. Um, the only thing I do religiously, which I don't understand why I can do that and not do everything else in my life, like why I'm disciplined to do that, but not anything else. It's crazy. But what I'll do is, first of all, I use that Sensodyne heavy bike. And my teeth are good, but then if I get a cavity, I will wait until it's Friday and I wake up and all of a sudden, it's that throbbing toothache pain where if I don't have a piece of ice on it, I'm in agony. And then I'll ride that out until Sunday if I can't get a dentist appointment and then I'll go in Monday and have them fucking, have them take care of it. And once they hit you with that Novocain and that pain goes away, woo wee!
58:16 H. Foley? Give me a butt out of the ashtray. Yeah, but I know, I gotta go get this address because I don't want to have that situation again where I'm screaming in pain.
58:24 Speaker 03 So why not make an appointment now for, uh, Friday?
58:28 H. Foley? I already did.
58:29 Speaker 03 Did you?
58:30 H. Foley? I did.
58:30 Speaker 03 Good. That's good. Okay.
58:32 Speaker 01 Anybody believe that?
58:35 Speaker 03 Now they say, no.
58:37 Speaker 04 I don't know how the time.
58:38 H. Foley? Do you believe that rumor?
58:39 Speaker 01 How far is the elbow room from here?
58:40 Speaker 03 I don't think.
58:41 H. Foley? You don't believe me?
58:41 Speaker 01 I don't know.
58:43 H. Foley? Ryan? Luke? Colin doesn't. Sam, do you believe me?
58:48 Speaker 03 Now that it's brought up, no, I can't, no.
58:51 H. Foley? You're correct. That was a lie.
58:54 Speaker 01 Your tell shows go, someone will go, this is your tell. You act on it. I'll give it to you.
58:59 H. Foley? Oh, okay.
59:00 Speaker 01 Right?
59:01 H. Foley? Oh, man. What about to create a monster?
59:03 Speaker 01 So how did, I might have, I might be, the beats of that conversation.
59:08 H. Foley? Uh huh.
59:09 Speaker 01 Right? The beats of that conversation was, why don't you make one? Right?
59:13 Speaker 03 For Friday.
59:14 Speaker 01 Also, just ahead of that, you're like, "I need to make one." You did say, "I need to make it." Doctors deploy.
59:18 Speaker 04 I gotta get this addressed.
59:19 Speaker 01 I gotta get this addressed. Which, if you had me, would you go, "I've already made one." Just saying. So you did show your hand.
59:25 H. Foley? All right, be aware of my, be aware of my tense. Past, present, tense, when I'm lying, okay?
59:31 Speaker 01 You know what's easy? Stop lying. I don't have to do any of this, but...
59:34 H. Foley? Don't get back to that.
59:37 Speaker 01 He then, you go, "Yeah?" You go, "Why don't you do that now?" And you go, "I did." And you always, you put your hands together, and you purse your lips and you shake your head. "I did."
59:51 Speaker 01 It's the only time you ever do that.
59:53 Speaker 04 Hmm.
59:53 Speaker 01 "I did."
59:56 H. Foley? Well, I don't need you anymore. Now I have everything I need.
1:00:04 Speaker 01 Um, one thing I did, I do want to address, uh, which...
1:00:08 H. Foley? Address it.
1:00:09 Speaker 01 Um, is my friend Flip.
1:00:12 H. Foley? Our good buddy Flip.
1:00:13 Speaker 01 Our good buddy, friend of the show Flip.
1:00:15 H. Foley? Very early Patreon episode. Public episode, Patreon episode?
1:00:17 Speaker 01 I think he was on a, he was in the background of a public episode or a Patreon, I forget.
1:00:23 H. Foley? He was one of our boys, one of Kippy's boys.
1:00:25 Speaker 01 The three of us lived together.
1:00:26 H. Foley? The three of us lived together. In South Philadelphia on Titan Street.
1:00:29 Speaker 01 Um...
1:00:30 H. Foley? I lived in the basement next to the washing machine.
1:00:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, that, you did.
1:00:35 H. Foley? Closed a lot of ass down there.
1:00:39 Speaker 01 I don't...
1:00:43 Speaker 01 I don't think you brought, I don't think a girl even made it to the block.
1:00:48 H. Foley? A girl?
1:00:49 Speaker 01 I was talking about Flip.
1:00:51 H. Foley? Um, no, never had anybody there.
1:00:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, um...
1:00:54 H. Foley? Nothing.
1:00:56 Speaker 01 Real cool guy.
1:00:57 H. Foley? Man.
1:00:57 Speaker 01 Huh?
1:00:58 H. Foley? I used to just turn the dryer on so it would soothe me to sleep.
1:01:05 Speaker 01 So, Flip's been squirrely. He showed up to the show at Bray. Flip lives out here now. He showed up to the show at Bray. Didn't text me like, "Hey, I'm on my way," whatever, whatever. He just came into the green room, which I don't know how he got past security. He just showed up in the green room.
1:01:16 Speaker 04 By the way, we do have to address that with the Bray Improv, that somehow they're letting people in and out of this place. We had magicians, Flip's there.
1:01:24 Speaker 01 There was a lot of people.
1:01:26 H. Foley? That magician, poor magician, must have hated our guts. It was a magician doing a show after ours. We left the green room like a frat house.
1:01:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, it was, well, those...
1:01:36 H. Foley? No, it was disgus, come on.
1:01:37 Speaker 01 No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not pushing back, I'm just saying...
1:01:41 H. Foley? Not on purpose.
1:01:42 Speaker 01 Well, it's, most roadrooms don't have that specific, is most roadrooms-
1:01:46 H. Foley? Don't have all them beers in there.
1:01:47 Speaker 01 They don't have a second show, another-
1:01:50 H. Foley? Right, right, right.
1:01:51 Speaker 01 Person coming in to do a show after our show. It's usually like your green room or whatever, so... For them to turn that, and he had a lot of gear and we roll with the fucking crew, plus the fucking Flip was there, the fucking manager was there.
1:02:02 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:02:02 Speaker 01 So it was, um...
1:02:04 H. Foley? Heavy.
1:02:04 Speaker 01 It was, yeah, it was hectic. Um...
1:02:06 H. Foley? Worse behavior.
1:02:07 Speaker 01 But you also have to defer to us, and not even from like a... Uh, whatever, Stan, we're a bigger... Operation than he was, like, people-wise. Flip got a whiff of this house, which is a very nice house. Came over, "I'll stop by after the show for a beer," ended up staying here, sleeping here, till about... Two in the afternoon, he kept going-
1:02:28 H. Foley? "Watch the Birds game."
1:02:29 Speaker 01 He kept going, "I'll watch the Birds game," then the Birds game was over, he goes, "Who's playing the afternoon games?"
1:02:33 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:02:33 Speaker 01 And then he's like, "Who's, who's, who's tonight?" So he went home-
1:02:36 H. Foley? Titans and the Rams, I'm in.
1:02:37 Speaker 01 And then we hadn't heard from him, I haven't heard from him.
1:02:40 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
1:02:41 Speaker 01 And he texts, he texts Diesel, which I don't know how the fuck he got-
1:02:44 H. Foley? That's great.
1:02:44 Speaker 01 I don't know how he got Diesel's number. Uh, he goes-
1:02:49 H. Foley? Texting the operator.
1:02:50 Speaker 01 "He would like to arrive at 2:30 this afternoon for a swim and summertime sips. Does this work for the AYG gang?" He goes, "2:30 works, but Mrs. Foley and Ryan have, have to rec-" Oh, Miss Durz. Okay. That you were making a, an old-
1:03:07 H. Foley? I would've, I would've appreciated it.
1:03:09 Speaker 01 "They have to record an episode so they'll be abstaining from alcohol."
1:03:12 H. Foley? Uncle Kippy.
1:03:13 Speaker 01 He goes, "They'll be abstaining from alcohol," he goes, uh, oh fuck, did I say his last name?
1:03:18 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:03:18 Speaker 01 "Flip sees no issue with this. Cheers. Please ensure there's plenty of bottled water for Flip." And he said, "We'll keep it on ice." I like how-
1:03:26 H. Foley? I don't think Flip minds if we're here or not. I don't think that'd be an issue for him.
1:03:30 Speaker 01 No, Flip might show up with luggage until we check out, I think. That might be-
1:03:34 H. Foley? And I believe he'll be coming with a plus one.
1:03:37 Speaker 01 Is he?
1:03:37 H. Foley? I'm sure.
1:03:38 Speaker 01 Did he meant to, did he run that by Diop's? There's no way Flip's bringing somebody. This is Rudy, he's a good dude.
1:03:48 Speaker 01 This is Gary, he lives on my block, he's just some fucking guy. Hey, man. Um, but yeah, we gotta wrap it up. Me and Foley have to get to another big time Hollywood meeting in there, fuck it. We're out here setting them straight, gang. Making demands. Don't think we're going to Hollywood, we're not. We're giving them the real feel. Telling them what's up. Start calling us the 10-day forecasters, we're getting the real fucking feel, dog. That's right. Getting it every day. Fucking, um... It's AYG vs. Hollywood, let's go. Lock in. And we'll see you next week. Peace!
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Previous Too Many Beers w/ Garbage Island! Next Marcus King! Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated