Too Many Beers w/ Garbage Island!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedians and podcast hosts Tommy Pope & Chris O'Connor from Stuff Island! You know Stuff Island from Matt & Shanes Secret Podcast, Kill Tony, stand up comedy, Tires, This is Not Happening, Whiskey Ginger w/ Andrew Santino, Look at Dish, You Be Trippin' podcast and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Open Phone: Get started free, plus get 20% off your first 6 months at https://Quo.com/GARBAGEBrunt Workwear: Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code GARBAGE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/GARBAGE ExpressVPN: Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Garbage Island. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties and the new addition. She's already passed the fuck out. We wrote dickhead all over her forehead. Mike Coles is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole world, and I'd love him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. They're not gonna let me get through this. We love you. Thanks for tuning in. Check out Patreon.com.

• 0:50H. Foley?

  And check out those garage beers.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  Shameless plug.

• 0:53H. Foley?

  You sponsor on the show. Shout out to the Kelsey brothers. The boys are in. And speaking of boys being in, we got two of the best and brightest. Our two best.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  And half in the bag.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  Not today.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  They've been out in the sun eating Zeppeli for the last 72 hours. Give it up for Chris O'Connor, Tommy Pope of Stuff Island, baby. The boys are here.

• 1:16Speaker 03

  What a pleasure to be back. What a pleasure to be back. The garage beers are flowing. They're nice.

• 1:21H. Foley?

  Thank you, buddy.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  This is fine. Just to set the text for the listener, set the stage for the listener out there. I got a text.

• 1:26H. Foley?

  You were doing on your phone.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  At 8:18 a.m. Drinking at Spring Lounge for a little bit, if you're around, lol. 8:18, you're at the bar. And you're at the bar going, who else could I invite here? You're not even at the bar having a good time.

• 1:41H. Foley?

  For a nightcap on a Monday?

• 1:42Speaker 03

  Roll up, and you'll see I invited you there a couple of weeks ago.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  Because we planned on drinking at 8:00 a.m. a long time ago.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  This guy, 8:00 a.m. getting after it.

• 1:51H. Foley?

  You know, our Judy and Punch closed out in Astoria.

• 1:53Speaker 03

  It did?

• 1:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:55H. Foley?

  Pretty sure.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  Maggie's Hall still open? Maggie's still, it's still cooking. It's still cooking, no.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  O'Connor's got the million-yard stare already.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  Dude, my eyes, Maggie's strong. Maggie's strong.

• 2:05H. Foley?

  Look, can I have a?

• 2:06Speaker 03

  My eyes are shit.

• 2:08H. Foley?

  No, I'm sorry. Can I have a fact check on whether Judy and Punch closed?

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Well, according to the AMX statement, you were there three weeks ago.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  Can I get a Ring Cam on my cat? I just wanna make sure it's alive.

• 2:20H. Foley?

  They were making fun of me before because of my cat.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  Still banging.

• 2:22H. Foley?

  Still banging?

• 2:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:24H. Foley?

  Oh, get rid of all that.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Of course, dude. That's crazy. Where did you get that idea?

• 2:26H. Foley?

  I went by there one day and it was closed.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  They told him it was closing? Hey, buddy, you're gonna have to get the fuck out of here.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  It's 8 a.m. you were trying to drink?

• 2:33H. Foley?

  Are you sure they're open?

• 2:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, Queens got it open right now.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  If you did a visual scan of this whole table and said, "Who was drinking at 8 a.m.?" Look at this guy.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  I know.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Who, me? Yeah, Tommy Bahama.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  I know, with the backwards head.

• 2:50H. Foley?

  I wasn't. I was sleeping at 8:02.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Put a skateboard on your shoulder?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  What's up, fellow kids?

• 2:55Speaker 03

  You kids going to school here?

• 2:56H. Foley?

  I was sleeping at 8:02.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  He's got no fucking shoes on. What were you... What is this? You slept late today? We have a very...

• 3:02Speaker 02

  That's our Rick Rubin.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  That's disgusting.

• 3:05H. Foley?

  He doesn't know anything about the cameras.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  He don't even know how to turn them on, Tommy.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Wait, do you not wear shoes? You don't wear shoes when you're...

• 3:11Speaker 04

  Well, it's tough back there, so I take them off just to run back.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  He's a fucking rich kid. What are you talking about? What is this?

• 3:17Speaker 04

  It's a tight run back there, and then there's a bunch of outlets.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  He wears sandals.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  How big are your shoes?

• 3:23Speaker 02

  They're pretty big. He wears Birkenstocks.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Oh, good lord. Sometimes autism speaks, and it shouldn't.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Tommy, what would it take for you to get in a pair of Birken... You're a fashionable guy.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  I got Birks.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  You will go to Birks.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  I got Birks. Look at you. I got Birks lights.

• 3:37H. Foley?

  You do?

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:39H. Foley?

  And you're buying weed down in Austin?

• 3:41Speaker 03

  I wouldn't act like that.

• 3:43Speaker 04

  What, have a great attitude?

• 3:45Speaker 03

  You don't go barefoot a lot. No.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  For the audio listener, the fuse has been lit on Tommy Pope.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Are you embarrassed by your feet? No, I have nice feet. I have very nice feet. We'll show them off.

• 3:59H. Foley?

  You've never seen his feet?

• 4:01Speaker 03

  I can't remember.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  Also, my bare feet are gonna touch this carpet. I'm gonna go...

• 4:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, you do.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  That's a nice plush carpet we got. The no-show socks.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  Ah, you like that?

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Tommy, we don't...

• 4:14Speaker 04

  Get on cam. Get on cam.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, kick them off.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ, Tommy.

• 4:20H. Foley?

  Why?

• 4:21Speaker 02

  You don't have floor cams.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  You do.

• 4:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, what do you think we got down there?

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Say it in a way. You do have pretty good feet.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  I'll whisper it in my ear, real slow.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Put them up on the table.

• 4:30H. Foley?

  Tommy's trying to get his OnlyFans off the ground.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Where are you going?

• 4:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, what the fuck are you do-

• 4:37Speaker 02

  I was so much feet, to the guest cam. Why?

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Now you're blocking the... The why? Oh, there we go.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Whoa!

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Whoa!

• 4:45Speaker 02

  Aging Dr. Hammer toe.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  That's not bad.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  I mean dude, you think that's not on camera?

• 4:51Speaker 03

  That's not bad.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  There's fucking... You're in front of the guest cam. You're in front of six cameras. I said I'm gonna put it in front of the guest cam. Oh, okay.

• 4:57H. Foley?

  Folks, that's Lamisil.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  New sponsor? What are you doing?

• 5:01H. Foley?

  Get the worms out of here. This ain't bad!

• 5:03Speaker 02

  It's pretty good.

• 5:04H. Foley?

  Could we set this up?

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, he just ruined every shot.

• 5:10H. Foley?

  You can't sit over there, you're back to the cam. No, you can't.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  It's not gonna work.

• 5:14H. Foley?

  We're running the broadcast here. Hey, Tommy, garage beers.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Tommy, Tommy, they can't see the garage beer sign. Get out of the way.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, Tom.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  You're blocking the garage beer.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  The whole time.

• 5:25H. Foley?

  My feet up?

• 5:28H. Foley?

  He's funny if you had a garage... Put a garage beer sign on your back?

• 5:30Speaker 03

  Aw, man.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  No, I was asleep this morning at eight o'clock because I slept all day yesterday.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  And just said, "Hey, let it ride."

• 5:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Sorry, go ahead.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  That's it. So I wasn't up drinking at eight o'clock.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  What was the 8 a.m. drink you're drinking? And why did it have to be at 8 a.m.?

• 5:50Speaker 03

  I got hit, yeah, Tolemore Dew.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  You're doing Tolemore Dew? Why was it 8 a.m.?

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Cause we had to do a quick intro shoot to the Dan and Katie Look at Dish episode. So essentially it was three Look at Dish film shoot days.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Real Tarantino in this thing.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  It was totally unnecessary, he just wanted to get drunk. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  I think it's not like there was European money involved in this.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  First of all, shut the fuck up.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  It's actually a three-pronged shoot we're doing.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  That was 100%, I woke up at 7 o'clock and I was like- That wasn't my idea, believe it or not. Cause guess what, I get drunk at 10, I don't need to fucking... I can sleep in and get fucking canned as soon as I wake up, I don't need that bullshit.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  Can't tell me what to do.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  I don't wanna fucking do it. But it's kinda like a visual appeal to it, like it's, you know, you're out in the wild. Kev?

• 6:38Speaker 02

  What the fuck? Kev, you're a booze dog, you know?

• 6:40Speaker 03

  No, no, no, you loved Spring last.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  I do like-

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Dave brought you up. Today, he talked about you. He loves you guys.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  He does. He's a shout out to him.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Shout out. So it was like a nice- Forcing you to walk this back.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  They love you over there.

• 6:54H. Foley?

  He spoke very highly of you.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  You were there.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  It's a great, it's a great bar. And consent. We just wanted, we wanted like a different vibe and a different feel and we had to-

• 7:03Speaker 02

  So why not a bar? You've never been there.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  We had a kitchen.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  There's a new set.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Wait, were you cooking in there? You know what's great? It's great. You get one question. When, when is this question gonna get answered? When you, when do you think? Twenty-five minutes from now? I don't know. You won't cut to the chase. I'll cut to the fucking chase. Alright, then cut to it.

• 7:20H. Foley?

  Man, you're both talking industry.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, you guys went Hollywood.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  You guys are real fucking Hollywood.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  You guys are projecting so hard right now.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  I'm just trying to enjoy my garage beer.

• 7:32H. Foley?

  You know, the regular guys like us-

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Why don't we just stay on that side? What's the fucking point?

• 7:37Speaker 02

  Tommy, when you're hanging out with your bros.

• 7:39H. Foley?

  Tommy, regular guys like us who drink garage beer, we don't follow this Hollywood jargon.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  Well, we wanted to get a little footage of something different than Look at Dish. It's an intro to Look at Dish.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  It's beautiful.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  It's a great bar. Shout out to it. They have the-

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Shout out Spring Lounge. Shout out Dave. Shout out Jen.

• 7:57H. Foley?

  Did you cook in there?

• 7:58Speaker 03

  No, we rented a kitchen that you guys recommended. Kevin recommended.

• 8:02H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  And we cooked a-

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Do I get a producer credit on this? Or do I wet my beak anywhere? I hell, I was a field producer, essentially.

• 8:08H. Foley?

  You know what would be cool is if you guys, if you cooked in a restaurant for an episode. That'd be awesome. That would be awesome.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's a plan.

• 8:14H. Foley?

  Take over like a-

• 8:15Speaker 02

  Alright, now Foley's producing too.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, let's, we'll get you guys. We'll, we'll-

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Well, I don't know if that counts as like an idea.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  I didn't hear it before you fucking-

• 8:23H. Foley?

  You're muscling me up.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  I got an idea. What if you cook in somebody else's kitchen? And they're like, you know it's a good place, fucking Madison Square Garden. You should do a thing there.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Oh, is it?

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah? Oh, wow. That's brilliant. I should have done a show there.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  My mother said that to me when my- Why don't you guys cook in a nice kitchen?

• 8:40Speaker 02

  He's gonna stop fucking slumming it in that apartment.

• 8:43H. Foley?

  It's insane, nice kitchen.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  My buddy got hired to write for Jimmy Fallon years ago.

• 8:48H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  My, my buddy Luke.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  Guys are so Hollywood, dude.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  My mother goes, "Well, you know Luke. Luke's your friend, right? Well, tell him to talk to Jimmy and then you could do it." It's like, yo, it's that fucking easy?

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like getting a job and like getting someone vouch for you in the local. Uncle Johnny. They all love Johnny down there.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Get him in there.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  Johnny will vouch for you. He'll get you your book.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  My mother can only drink water through a fountain like a cat. I believe it.

• 9:13H. Foley?

  He's talking, making fun of me from the cat thing with the water.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 9:16H. Foley?

  What's crazy?

• 9:17Speaker 03

  The fact that you gotta run water through a fountain for these fucking-

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Dude, you might have to-

• 9:21H. Foley?

  He has like a delayed fuse.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Come on, you don't, you can't act like you don't know what he's talking about.

• 9:25H. Foley?

  Tommy has like a delayed fuse.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  I heard you, I heard you the first, I heard you the first time. You're in a bit of a delay yourself.

• 9:31H. Foley?

  He delayed fuse his own delayed fuse show?

• 9:35H. Foley?

  I feel like I'm in a fish attack. I can't get through to you guys.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  You double delayed fuse your own delayed fuse show? You're like the fattest second grader dressed like that.

• 9:44H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 9:44Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 9:45H. Foley?

  I took off my hair.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 9:47H. Foley?

  I got my hair back. I can take it off if you want.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  You look great.

• 9:52H. Foley?

  Thanks, buddy.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  You look great.

• 9:53H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  You look great. I miss you guys.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  I miss you too. The last time you were here, I think you said, "We're gonna see you more now that we're gone," and that's not the case.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  That's what everybody says before they leave somewhere. "Don't worry, honey."

• 10:07Speaker 03

  "I'll be closer to you than ever." "I'm just going to New Zealand for a few weeks."

• 10:11H. Foley?

  I'll be right over your shoulder anytime you need me. Fucking dumb broad.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Soon as she closes the door.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  What a fucking idiot.

• 10:19H. Foley?

  You love me, right? Yeah, I love you.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Alright, cut that.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  I just saw Tommy. I just, I look over, it looks already dead, and we're back.

• 10:27H. Foley?

  What's, what's, Tommy, what's the dog's name?

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Buka.

• 10:30H. Foley?

  Buka?

• 10:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  You are a Guido.

• 10:32H. Foley?

  I thought it was gonna be like Donatella Versace or something.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Her last name's Debeppo.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Had the popper.

• 10:40H. Foley?

  Buka Deppa.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  We thought about naming her Olive.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  No, it's short for Sambuka.

• 10:47H. Foley?

  Her name's Carmine.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Sorry, Cap, I've been drinking for 12 hours.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Sorry, guys, I started drinking at 8 o'clock.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  Hard to join in. I tried to make-

• 10:58Speaker 03

  Hey, I get, I get the no sock, no shoe thing, man.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  You got your shoes off?

• 11:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  You been to a shoes off pod?

• 11:03Speaker 03

  It's so nice.

• 11:05H. Foley?

  My nails are real long.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  It does feel like you're in the basement of like an aunt's, a nice aunt's house.

• 11:09H. Foley?

  Your nails are so long.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  Your nails?

• 11:11Speaker 02

  It's bad.

• 11:12H. Foley?

  I've gotten into a bad groove.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  Get up there, pig.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  Let's take a look.

• 11:15H. Foley?

  Nah, you don't want to do it.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Get up there.

• 11:16H. Foley?

  No. And I gotta put my socks back on and shit.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  No, you're not.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  And it's hard with the-

• 11:20Speaker 03

  We don't have the help.

• 11:21H. Foley?

  Not with the long nails, it's hard with the 400 pound body.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Oh, you think it's the nails? That's serious.

• 11:26H. Foley?

  If I took my socks off right now, I just wouldn't put them back on.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Forever.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  How do you get your socks on?

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Boomerang?

• 11:35H. Foley?

  I have these little elves that live in my closet.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  That's actually falls under Luke's, part of Luke's production responsibility.

• 11:41H. Foley?

  No, I sit. Wife's been away, has been going sockless for. I sit on the bed.

• 11:46Speaker 04

  He's got socks, but it's just ripped. It's ripped from the top.

• 11:49H. Foley?

  I sit on the bed. I sit on the bed and like.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Take my legs off. Put my socks on and reapply my legs. Like a standard human being.

• 12:00H. Foley?

  I sit on, I sit on the bed sideways and I put them on. Yeah. Yeah. Let me see your fucking nails.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  So your nails are getting long because you can't cut them or because?

• 12:08H. Foley?

  No, no, I could.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  I just choose not.

• 12:11H. Foley?

  You know, I just like forget and don't and then all of a sudden they're real long and then I start scratching my legs with them and I like it.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  Oh, that's nice.

• 12:19H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 12:20Speaker 04

  I also, I love ripping a toenail off.

• 12:22H. Foley?

  Me too. Love it.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 12:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's great. The big ones I can't.

• 12:27Speaker 04

  When you forget and they're long?

• 12:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  And you're like, I got ten of these.

• 12:31H. Foley?

  Wait, what? You could do, you could do your big toe too?

• 12:34Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  Oh, my big toe.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  That's a risky one. That's a risky one.

• 12:37H. Foley?

  I could never.

• 12:38Speaker 04

  You could hurt yourself.

• 12:39H. Foley?

  No one could rip one of my big toes off.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Guys, don't try that out at home, alright?

• 12:42Speaker 04

  No.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  As long as you're a professional.

• 12:44Speaker 04

  No, no, no. You got a good movie on, you got a, you got a beer too, you got some popcorn, you start ripping your nails apart, it's great.

• 12:51H. Foley?

  I bet you do it where you cross your legs and put one under and you sit there and pick it like that, don't you?

• 12:56Speaker 04

  I do do that, yeah. That's nice, yeah, because you got to clamp down.

• 13:00H. Foley?

  Yeah. I can't do with my big toe. My big toenails are, are like thick. Same.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Do you ever see like an oyster shell?

• 13:06Speaker 04

  But I like that.

• 13:07H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  Like an oyster shell?

• 13:09H. Foley?

  Real, real blue point five.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  No, that's his, his big toenail is like a.

• 13:12H. Foley?

  Tommy, what's the matter?

• 13:14Speaker 02

  It grows from the.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  You don't like toenail talk? It's disgusting. I was gonna pitch a podcast to you, toenail talk with Hank.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Toes and more with, with Uncle Hank.

• 13:23H. Foley?

  What are you doing with clippers?

• 13:24Speaker 02

  You have your feet out, you freak.

• 13:26H. Foley?

  Tommy uses hair clippers on them. Mmm.

• 13:31H. Foley?

  Get the hair off his knuckles.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Softens him up with a little bit of olive oil.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  No, anytime I, I don't know. I hear stories like that, I just...

• 13:38Speaker 04

  Do you pick at all? What do you pick?

• 13:41Speaker 03

  I...

• 13:41Speaker 04

  You gotta pick at something besides...

• 13:42Speaker 03

  I bite my nails.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  There you go, yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  I don't pick my toenails. If I hear somebody picking toenails, I, this is crazy. Shouldn't say this.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  Say it.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Probably gonna cut it. I just think about the woman.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  What woman? That they're with?

• 13:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 04

  But who's with?

• 14:00Speaker 03

  I think, when I think of someone's hygiene.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 14:04Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  I think, uh...

• 14:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  You know?

• 14:08Speaker 04

  Tommy's referring to finger blasting.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  I just think of their hoo-ha, being all fucking blasted.

• 14:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I take care of my nails for that kinda stuff.

• 14:15Speaker 03

  You can wash up before you get into that kinda thing.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  I'm not sticking my toenails in anybody.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  You're not fucking doing that.

• 14:20Speaker 04

  What are you talking about?

• 14:21Speaker 03

  You don't wash up when you shit.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  I, dude, I play by the rules.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Which are what?

• 14:26Speaker 03

  Which are the rules?

• 14:26Speaker 04

  The lady...

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Let's go, no, no. Rule number one!

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Wait, Tommy... The lady's... The lady sets the rules. The lady will go on.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  The lady doesn't set the rules.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  You're not touching me with your toenail fingers.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  No, the lady buys the ticket for the game. You set the rules. It's your stadium.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  This is Italian versus Irish right here.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, you don't have any rules.

• 14:43H. Foley?

  Wait, Tommy...

• 14:44Speaker 02

  Can we get another bullet for Tommy, please?

• 14:46Speaker 03

  Actually, I would like a fill-up.

• 14:47H. Foley?

  Tommy, before you make love, do you wash your hands? Is that what you do?

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Just gotta get the sauce off of him.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  You don't wash your hands?

• 14:55Speaker 03

  In fact, no, like I'm saying, like, if it's, if it's in the moment, you can't fuck that up. And I actually, I'm at the...

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Excuse me, one second.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  I'm at the point now where like, if she's like, I'm gonna go take a shower. That little delay.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  You're jerking off.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, or it could just turn me off, where I'm just done.

• 15:14Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  You know, you're just like, I'm out. You know, not waiting.

• 15:17H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm taking off!

• 15:19Speaker 02

  That was cute. Luke filled you up like three quarters and was like, he's gonna yell at me when he sees that, and topped you back off like a scared son.

• 15:26H. Foley?

  See, you don't hit him.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  How dainty he is.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Luke is very...

• 15:32Speaker 02

  It's funny how close you two have become over the years, I've found.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Luke and I?

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  Really?

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Hey, you know, you guys, I don't know.

• 15:39Speaker 05

  We connected over vacation.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  I feel like this is just Tom Cassidy in a different suit.

• 15:45H. Foley?

  In a different suit.

• 15:46Speaker 05

  You also know how to hurt me?

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Like a good father figure.

• 15:50H. Foley?

  Shout out to Tommy Singh.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, we cut all that. Wait, you guys are close?

• 15:57Speaker 02

  Not close, I don't know, I'm just saying they spent a good chunk of time together. He's afraid of Tommy. We were away for a week together.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Who isn't afraid of Tommy? Good point. Why are you afraid of me? What do you mean? I'm very nice to you.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  Or in a fatherly way. Got to respect.

• 16:09H. Foley?

  Short fuse, drink a lot, fly off the handle.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  He came in drunk yelling at people.

• 16:13H. Foley?

  Lot of rings.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Look at you.

• 16:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Look at you. Huh?

• 16:16Speaker 05

  I know that hurt ya.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Look at you.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Hey, gang, if you're a business owner out there, you know one of the tools that can make a huge difference with business owners is QUO, formerly OpenPhone. It's the same great business phone system that you heard us talking about before, just with a new name, and here's why it matters if you're running a business. Every call matters, big guy, you know that.

• 16:35H. Foley?

  What do you think? I don't know that?

• 16:36Speaker 02

  I look over, big man's on the phone, he's closing deals, he's picking up, he's closing up. You're on it, you gotta be on the phone.

• 16:41H. Foley?

  Call calling, baby.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  You gotta...

• 16:42H. Foley?

  That's how I do it.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Um, you gotta stick...

• 16:45H. Foley?

  The phone's gotta work. I mean, gee, that's the first step in the thing, the phone's gotta work. You ever call someplace and you get the busy signal?

• 16:51Speaker 02

  It's a...

• 16:51H. Foley?

  I'm out.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  You're done.

• 16:53H. Foley?

  Done.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Send it, done, you're out of there.

• 16:55H. Foley?

  This is Chinese food, I'm going back in a couple minutes.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, you done. Uh, QUO, formerly OpenPhone, is the number one business phone system that streamlines your customer communications. It works through an app on your phone or your computer, so no more carrying two phones like I was doing at one point, or you, God forbid, using a landline.

• 17:10H. Foley?

  True.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  Imagine if you're a landline?

• 17:12H. Foley?

  Hello, are you garbage? Harry speaking.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  With QUO, your team can share one number, collaborate on customer calls and texts with a shared inbox, so anyone can jump in and make response time fast. Uh, and forget voicemail. The built-in AI agent can be set up in minutes and handles calls after hours, answers questions, captures leads, so you never miss a customer. And that's important in this day and age. Business moving quick. Calls.

• 17:35H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Emails, texts, the whole nine yards. Get started, uh, free, plus 20% off your first six months at quo.com/garbage. That's quo, Q-U-O, dot com slash garbage. If you have an existing number with another service, QUO will port them over at no extra charge, because they're good people. QUO, no missed calls, no missed customers.

• 17:53H. Foley?

  Talking about Brunt Work.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Shout out to Brunt Work, a frickin' beast.

• 17:57H. Foley?

  A beast on the job site, I'm gonna tell you that right now, cuz you know what happens most of the time, back when we were banging, you got durability, you got comfort.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:04H. Foley?

  Durability over here, comfort over here.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Not no more.

• 18:06H. Foley?

  To the twain never met. I think that's how the saying goes. They never.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Not are married.

• 18:13H. Foley?

  No. Comfort, durability, got one, you can't have the other. That's not true of Brunt Work, baby.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  I know, I just said that.

• 18:20H. Foley?

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Um, the, the good thing about Brunt Work boots, they're comfortable right out of the box. Most other boots require a significant break-in period. And listen, you wanna look like a bozo? Be walking around in a brand-new stiff pair of boots on the job site, tripping over your toll, you're trying to carry a ladder, you're looking like an idiot. Not with Brunt, you come in, you're, you're agile, moving, you're grooving, you got comfort, you got durability, you got it all. They were nice enough to send us a box. I use them to fit in around my, now, I'm not, I'm not a blue collar guy no more, but I use them to fit in around my family. I'm like, ah, just doing some side work, I tell them. That's it, it can make me, it can make me look like a construction worker. That's how good Brunt, Brunt boots are.

• 18:58H. Foley?

  You got the slow and stop sign there?

• 19:00Speaker 02

  I'm working a sign. Uh, Brunt was tired of the workers, worker, workwear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up, uh, so they built something better, boots that are insanely comfortable and built for any job site. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt when you use the code GARBAGE at checkout. Just head to bruntworkwear.com, use the code GARBAGE, and you'll get, and you'll be good to go. And after you order, they're gonna ask you where you heard Brunt. Do us a favor, tell them the boy sent ya, we love ya.

• 19:28H. Foley?

  You know what for a while I did have a real addiction to?

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Most things.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Hawaiian shirts.

• 19:36H. Foley?

  Still got that, huh?

• 19:37Speaker 02

  Getting out there and being somebody.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Wait, you had a real addiction to what?

• 19:41H. Foley?

  Uh, I don't know if they have them everywhere, but McDonald's started.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Asian women.

• 19:46H. Foley?

  McDonald's started making a burger called the Daily Double.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  I gotta go to bed. I know.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Everything I say sucks.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  Well, your shoes are great.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 19:55H. Foley?

  You said Asian women, I made a funny face at the camera.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  Alright, good.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  It's a funny thing to say.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Brought it back.

• 19:59Speaker 04

  I, I. I don't know if they have these everywhere, Asian women, it's funny.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  It's good, it's a good bit.

• 20:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:04H. Foley?

  McDonald's has this.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  This is good podcasting, just rehashing a joke you just said, and, no, it was good. Anyway.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Do you think I'm pretty, dude?

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Double cheeseburgers, is that what you said?

• 20:16Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure he named a lottery game. He's like, I do the double play when I get there.

• 20:20H. Foley?

  I didn't even think you heard me, and then you hurt me with it. Hey, what were you saying, fat ass?

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Hey, you were saying something about being real gross.

• 20:27H. Foley?

  It is a double cheeseburger. It's called a daily double.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  That was just you because you got it every day.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  It was a double cheeseburger, right?

• 20:35H. Foley?

  No, at McDonald's near me, they have this thing called the daily double.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  Every time you say something twice.

• 20:40H. Foley?

  Double cheeseburger with one slice of cheese.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Cheeseburger, cheeseburger.

• 20:43H. Foley?

  And then it has lettuce, tomato.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  The burger.

• 20:46H. Foley?

  Onions and mayonnaise. That's the burger. And there's something about it that's so good. I've been like addicted to it.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  Dude, I was saying this like.

• 20:53H. Foley?

  I probably had about three a week.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I was saying this.

• 20:57H. Foley?

  Not recently, but for a good part of the summer.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Last week.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. Dude, I want to do, I want to do.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  A good part of the summer. It's September. He said not that. He said not recently.

• 21:08H. Foley?

  Not really, like not in the last month or so. You gotta give me that.

• 21:11Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 21:12H. Foley?

  Huh? It's September.

• 21:13Speaker 04

  It's a whole month.

• 21:14H. Foley?

  Eh? Can't argue me on that.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  Dude, I want to do a cooking show where, uh. You're in a, you're in a restaurant?

• 21:22H. Foley?

  You're on a cooking show. Wait a minute.

• 21:24Speaker 04

  No, I wa- I was telling Tommy yesterday that I was like, I want to do. No, no, no, no. I just, part of it, part of the cooking show.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Where my partner's not a lunatic.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Guys, guys.

• 21:33H. Foley?

  Do a solo podcast too.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Can a guy drink a little and get an idea out?

• 21:37H. Foley?

  It's called the island. Go ahead.

• 21:40Speaker 04

  Part of the cooking show.

• 21:41H. Foley?

  Called No Italians.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  But here's what I'm saying.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  He just took a five hour energy. He's good.

• 21:50Speaker 04

  You take a daily double.

• 21:51H. Foley?

  It's gonna hit after the podcast.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  I'm like, it's record, baby!

• 21:55Speaker 02

  Take it from the top.

• 21:57H. Foley?

  You take a daily double.

• 21:58Speaker 04

  Are we on? She's got, can't.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  You take a daily double. You take a daily double. Just any McDonald's cheeseburger, I would want to walk into any restaurant and go, beat this.

• 22:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:07Speaker 04

  And have them try to make a better burger than a McDonald's double cheeseburger. I gotta be honest, that's not a cooking show. That's you being a bit of a.

• 22:14Speaker 02

  Dick.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Hey, better than this? It's a dollar ninety-nine. You beat this? At your fancy, fancy French fucking restaurant? Jerk off?

• 22:24Speaker 03

  Clip it, clip it up, dude. Clip it up.

• 22:26H. Foley?

  The thing is, he's right.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  If they can't take it on, if they take it, it's a, you know, it's a mission of failure.

• 22:32H. Foley?

  I'll tell you why they can't.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  A submission of guilt.

• 22:33H. Foley?

  I'll tell you why they can't.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Why not?

• 22:35H. Foley?

  Because it's, I, I, I know it's, you know, additives and bad stuff for you, I'm sure.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  We're, we're all.

• 22:42H. Foley?

  There's a, there's some type of chemical something taste in their, their food.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Chemical.

• 22:47H. Foley?

  That you can't match. It just tastes like that.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  It can be matched. Someone can do it.

• 22:53H. Foley?

  In a lab? There's no way some fucking chef's gonna be able to do that.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Yep. Well, then what are we paying him for?

• 22:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, I didn't know we were paying him.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  What are you talking about?

• 23:02H. Foley?

  I thought we were just being dicks and going into his restaurant and saying, make this.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  No, that's you, you go, fucking, if you're all that you say you are.

• 23:10H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Beat that.

• 23:12H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Beat this burger.

• 23:16H. Foley?

  Yeah. Let's go back to the cheeseburger thing. And then we'll take a look at Tommy's idea a little bit later.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  You wanna cook and show or no?

• 23:24Speaker 03

  He said, yeah, dump it.

• 23:26H. Foley?

  Dump it. This is cooking.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 23:31Speaker 03

  God forbid, dude.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  That was crazy.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  God forbid. That was insane.

• 23:35H. Foley?

  Garage beer.

• 23:36Speaker 02

  I love, I love how you're like, I got this, and then you realize we weren't on board and you're like, your eyes started darting around. You're like, wait, huh, you guys aren't fucking?

• 23:45H. Foley?

  Just bring another girl home.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  We're gonna delete this whole episode.

• 23:48H. Foley?

  Your ideas?

• 23:48Speaker 02

  It's going livestream. We got, we did a live start.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  That's what I asked.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  First of all, Tommy's done the podcast five hundred times. He randomly showed up at a time. He said, maybe six. They walked in at four forty-five. Great. And he goes, whoa, we're not doing a live start or nothing? Like.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  Well, we had a good conversation out there. It was good stuff.

• 24:04H. Foley?

  You don't wanna waste it.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, we wasted ten fucking minutes.

• 24:06H. Foley?

  We hadn't gotten your, we hadn't gotten your happy juice delivered yet.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  Came out here on fucking shoeless, talking about an old ex. I'm thinking about sucking my dick.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Now my life is ruined.

• 24:14H. Foley?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Mama. Dead cats.

• 24:18H. Foley?

  Tommy, you training your eyebrows to go up more? What's going on?

• 24:24Speaker 03

  The fucking balls of you.

• 24:25H. Foley?

  What?

• 24:25Speaker 03

  The balls of you.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  Tommy took his eyebrow juice today.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Cirque du Soleil. It's just a guy on.

• 24:31H. Foley?

  Tommy's eyebrows are on BlueChew.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  They're all having fun.

• 24:34H. Foley?

  Nothing on that?

• 24:35Speaker 03

  They're all having fun. They're all having fun.

• 24:39Speaker 04

  This is a mess.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  I literally said.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  Are you guys as drunk as we are? What's going on?

• 24:43Speaker 02

  This is my third beer. When this started, it's a garage beer, so they're delicious.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  What are you mad about?

• 24:49Speaker 02

  But I said.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  I'm not mad at all.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Luke, what minute are we at?

• 24:51Speaker 03

  It's 5:30.

• 24:51Speaker 05

  Uh, 24.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  Oh, I said 32. Is when you. Restart. When Tommy's finally kabooms, I said 32 minutes.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  Fire it up.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  Do the thing, do the thing.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Hey, everybody, I don't want a beer? Uh, I'll do one, yeah.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  Boys, where you going?

• 25:07Speaker 04

  He's getting a beer.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  He's gonna open him with his toes.

• 25:12Speaker 04

  This is a mess.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  What?

• 25:13Speaker 04

  No shit.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  This is crazy.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Why?

• 25:16Speaker 03

  You're out of your fucking mind.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  I gotta throw it at somebody.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  I know, what the fuck? This is a guy. This is a guy. Dude, you just tried to connect to us, you went, oh, you guys are just as fucked up as us. We're like, no, and you're like, Tommy's a mess over here. You tried to pull us in, we said no.

• 25:35Speaker 04

  You guys have been drinking for three days too, huh?

• 25:37Speaker 05

  No.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  That's when you've been like slowly drinking all day, where you go, you guys are fucking hammered. Like, I just don't understand what anyone's saying.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  You guys must be fucking hammered too.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  The other day, when the last time I think we were all together was.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  My girlfriend went to Hawaii. What you're saying is making sense, you guys must be fucked up.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  They're really throwing Tommy, Tommy's losing it, I don't even fucking. You should have seen him, I tried to take him nice places and introduce him.

• 26:00H. Foley?

  I have a question.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Told him to drink water.

• 26:02H. Foley?

  How was San Gennaro, was it nice?

• 26:04Speaker 03

  No.

• 26:04H. Foley?

  Why?

• 26:05Speaker 03

  No, it was good, it was a fun time.

• 26:07H. Foley?

  It's not the same, huh?

• 26:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 26:08H. Foley?

  Why?

• 26:11Speaker 04

  No, I thought it was great, it was fun. We missed the procession, I wanted to see the procession.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, Chris is big on the, uh.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  What do you mean, what's the?

• 26:20H. Foley?

  The money? When they bring San Gennaro down?

• 26:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, they bring San Gennaro down and.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  They'll chase a tomato down Houston street.

• 26:30Speaker 04

  They throw pork and beans cannons at your head.

• 26:33H. Foley?

  Now it's time for the rolling of the eggplant, ladies and gentlemen. Who's gonna catch the slippery egg?

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Who was throwing mozzarella stick the furthest?

• 26:44Speaker 02

  Tommy's like, "I think I got it." "I think I can get it."

• 26:47H. Foley?

  Whose sister-in-law has the biggest mustache?

• 26:48Speaker 03

  I definitely would.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Sister-in-law's great. Not your sister. Someone who married into your family.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  The hottest-

• 26:58Speaker 02

  This is Tina.

• 27:00H. Foley?

  Congratulations to Karen DeSarini.

• 27:03H. Foley?

  For the hairiest armpit.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Third year running.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  The hottest girl I ever dated. Her eyebrows, her eyebrows like matched her hair.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Would it have touched?

• 27:14Speaker 03

  And then it went down to where, like she had that like, you know, like, uh, like WAPs have like, uh, spinal hair?

• 27:19H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Such a nice, nice group you guys are.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. And she was like 25.

• 27:25H. Foley?

  That's kinda sexy though, I don't know why.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Right to her bun. And her bun was like a fucking, it's like you knock into a bird's nest.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  He's calling it her bun. That's so creepy, dude. That just made you like 62 years old.

• 27:41H. Foley?

  Talking about her vagina?

• 27:42Speaker 02

  I think her butt, I don't know.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Her butt.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Her butt had hair that went into it?

• 27:51Speaker 02

  She sounds, she sounds cute.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  It was.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Chris is trying to actually rationalize with him. Her butt had hair on it?

• 28:01Speaker 04

  Was it streak of hair that ran down to it?

• 28:05Speaker 02

  A little mousin hair?

• 28:06Speaker 03

  You go to a high-end like Michelin star restaurant, they have that like nest and you have to crack it with the back of a spoon.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:12H. Foley?

  What?

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Uh, that's how you have to eat it.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  Like a creme brulee?

• 28:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  We gotta order 30 minutes before dinner.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Maria creme brulee.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  The one that got away.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  The one that got away. Now we're getting there, Kev. Start it over. Start it over.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  Run it back.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  Start now. Show my feet again. Start from the top.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  My head hurts, dude.

• 28:36H. Foley?

  Not as sweet as a sugary cookie.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  Kev hit me with a fucking, you didn't hear, but Kev hit me with an absolute howitzer before we said that. I farted before we started the pod.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  You fart all day long.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  And then, and Kev goes, "No, hold on." Kev goes, "Oh, fuck, now it's gonna smell like gum in here."

• 28:56Speaker 04

  Is that good?

• 28:57Speaker 03

  I mean, it's so funny.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Foley didn't even believe he thought it too. Foley went, "Did you just come up with that?" Kevin just had a...

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, the professional comedian, you've been friends with for 15 years. Did you put that together? He just said that I was his mechanic or something.

• 29:13H. Foley?

  You had one on Flagrant 2.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Did you write that?

• 29:16H. Foley?

  He had one on Flagrant 2 that...

• 29:17Speaker 02

  Where'd you hear that? Was that from Superbad?

• 29:21H. Foley?

  He had one on Flagrant 2, he said if he went...

• 29:22Speaker 02

  I'm a comedian!

• 29:24H. Foley?

  He said if he went to India, he wouldn't shower just to fit in.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  Now you're bombing with me a week later?

• 29:31Speaker 04

  Cut that!

• 29:33Speaker 05

  Say it one more time.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  That was a dead cat.

• 29:34H. Foley?

  He said if he went to India, he wouldn't shower for a week.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Don't bomb twice with me.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  To fit in.

• 29:39H. Foley?

  Tommy's smoking in here.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  And you thought that was up there with...

• 29:45H. Foley?

  In the moment it was. I didn't do it justice.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Comedy's about timing, guys. I'll do it again.

• 29:52H. Foley?

  Kevin said if he went to India, he wouldn't shower for a week just so he could fit in.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  Never seen that.

• 29:57Speaker 02

  Easy? No, and we'll be right back with... after this word from Garage Beers.

• 30:03H. Foley?

  Here's what's going on in your neck of the woods.

• 30:06H. Foley?

  I stole that from an hour ago.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  What the fuck? I'm getting ripped off left and right. This is a fucking Dorney Park advertisement? You guys are lifting my fucking lines here.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  What I wanted... what I was thinking about the other day, because we were talking about going to a... a Birds game, go Birds. Was you have... we thought it was the coolest. We went to the NFC Championship game, we got all banged up. Hey, don't. Good night. Good time.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Me and Foley ended up on the field.

• 30:34Speaker 04

  I know, I saw you. I was jealous.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  Well, you have the video...

• 30:37Speaker 04

  Weren't we there together?

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Of us. But we were in the... oh, we're on the field, we're like hugging and then we're like awkwardly just standing there.

• 30:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  And then while we're standing there, feeling uncomfortable, he sends us a video from behind of me and Foley just oddly fucking standing there. I'm like, "Do we gotta get the fuck out of here? This is fucking real bad."

• 30:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, where were we? Did we all go to dinner after that? Am I crazy? No, we...

• 30:56Speaker 02

  No, me and you went to dinner and I went home.

• 30:58Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, no.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  We took the subway. And you bumped into that woman you knew.

• 31:01Speaker 04

  Oh my god. Oh, yeah. What happened to you? Oh, you were staying at the...

• 31:04Speaker 02

  I was there.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  You were there.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  We didn't see you after the game, though.

• 31:07Speaker 04

  No. I was at the game?

• 31:10Speaker 02

  Garage Beer tastes better on the way up.

• 31:12Speaker 04

  This is the drunkest podcast that's ever happened.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  The whole thing is burping.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  The whole thing is great.

• 31:17H. Foley?

  That was the Daily Double ad last night.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  It was great.

• 31:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, that lady that played, uh... Drupele double. Drexel X lady.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  The what?

• 31:26Speaker 04

  This is Drexel Lacrosse lady that I ran into and we were shitfaced. What's that?

• 31:29Speaker 02

  I had to hiccup some whole time.

• 31:30Speaker 04

  And we got beers.

• 31:31H. Foley?

  Oh my god.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, she gave me a warm, she gave me like a warm Newcastle or something. I was like, lady, this is not what I need right now.

• 31:39H. Foley?

  You guys remember Honey Brown?

• 31:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Hey?

• 31:42Speaker 04

  I loved Honey Brown.

• 31:43H. Foley?

  I was such a hippie beer.

• 31:45Speaker 04

  Was it?

• 31:46H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Dog shit. I used to eat it with pizza and wings.

• 31:51H. Foley?

  Are they friends of yours? And those guys weren't hippies.

• 31:56H. Foley?

  Real right wing.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  See, that's a pop-up joke that kills.

• 31:59Speaker 04

  It's so good.

• 31:59Speaker 03

  That is so good. He's 80 years old sometimes. And when he fucking kills, he kills. That's a pop-up joke. It's no notes.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  Tommy's two minutes away from crying about his pop-up.

• 32:13Speaker 04

  I thought it felt fresh and young and hip.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  Hey, you're talking about the industry.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  Can we restart?

• 32:18Speaker 02

  I was fresh and young and hip.

• 32:20H. Foley?

  Why do you want to restart? What are you worried about?

• 32:22Speaker 04

  All he's done is incriminate himself.

• 32:24H. Foley?

  No, we'll clean all that up. We think we'd ever do anything to hurt you?

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Just worried.

• 32:30H. Foley?

  Close up on that.

• 32:31Speaker 04

  Just worried about, just worried about stuff.

• 32:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah. You're worried about what?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  No, I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm talking about the detailed hair of a woman's asshole.

• 32:39H. Foley?

  God, come on. We're having a cou- we're having a couple of beers and talking.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  That's what you do, that's what happens with garage beers.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  I'm fucking kidding. I don't give a shit.

• 32:46H. Foley?

  Yeah, tell me Tommy don't care.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  I know, no one's upset.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Tommy seems a little upset.

• 32:52H. Foley?

  I don't know what this is. I have like this smell behind my ear.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Oh, god.

• 32:55H. Foley?

  I don't know what it is.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Stop doing it.

• 32:57H. Foley?

  I'll be honest with you. It smells like McDonald's hamburgers. I swear to god. I don't know what it is.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  I think a chef can recreate that.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Oh, you're gonna smell it, dude?

• 33:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  That's disgusting, dude.

• 33:12H. Foley?

  Did you catch any of it?

• 33:13Speaker 04

  No, let me get it.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Oh, he just put it in his belly button? Oh, get the fuck away from me, dude. Dude, I'm gonna hit you. That's crazy.

• 33:22H. Foley?

  I'm going at him, Tommy. You fucking, you gave it away. That's gonna scratch my belly button. Let him smell that.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  Oh, you just handed me a beer too.

• 33:30Speaker 04

  I'm not kidding. What, that guy, that upset you? I've been...

• 33:34Speaker 02

  The, the contents of his belly button?

• 33:36Speaker 04

  It's bad.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  You don't spend enough time with him.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  No. It's bad.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  Christ, can you imagine what's in there?

• 33:41Speaker 04

  Put it on a napkin or something.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  No. Come on, get out of there.

• 33:45Speaker 04

  Oh my god. Oh, no, no, no, no, don't do that.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:51Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh my god, dude.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Ry, get a Lysol wipe or something in here. I gotta spray this horse down.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is. It's like data.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  Data?

• 34:02Speaker 04

  No, I'm just saying like when you smell that stuff, you're like, oh. Yeah, you go, oh, oh.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  That's a great Louis bit. You ever see a homeless guy? I wanna just smell him just to figure it out? Fucking, just to get in there?

• 34:11Speaker 04

  I've never heard that.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Why is everyone okay with this? What do you mean?

• 34:15Speaker 02

  I am not.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  This is fucking disgusting.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  It's gross.

• 34:18H. Foley?

  I'm aware it's disgusting.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  I don't think it is.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  Hey, cleaning your fingers off?

• 34:25H. Foley?

  Cleaning my belly button, what are you cleaning?

• 34:28Speaker 03

  It's cleaning everything.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  The rag starts sizzling?

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 34:31Speaker 04

  Dude, that's insane.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  What? You're fucking foul.

• 34:35Speaker 04

  Why?

• 34:36Speaker 02

  What do you mean, why?

• 34:37Speaker 04

  I'm cleaning.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  Run the tape.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Why? It's such a great question.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, he makes you the bad guy. He ma- he just distorts reality to where you're like, ooh, that stings.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Oh, you mean the bleach in your open wound?

• 34:48Speaker 03

  Cleaning for the first time? When you're showering, do you scrub around in there?

• 34:54H. Foley?

  I do most of the time.

• 34:58H. Foley?

  Most of the time, I do.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  But not every day?

• 35:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, the rest of the time I'm just backpedaling.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  You're not doing so good.

• 35:06H. Foley?

  Not every day.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  Are you alright?

• 35:08Speaker 03

  Throwing the frog, you're upset. Jesus Christ.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  I'm not thrilled.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  You should. You cut it. Start it over. What the fuck?

• 35:18H. Foley?

  You wanna start it over?

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Kip? I'm so fascinated.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  What? No.

• 35:22Speaker 04

  I'm so fascinated, bud.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  You smelled Foley's belly button finger.

• 35:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's

• 35:28Speaker 02

  No one's ever survived that.

• 35:29Speaker 04

  Are you garbage?

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Cut your nose off.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  We've been, we've known each other for 20 years. You think he's gonna stick his finger in his belly button and I'm not gonna smell it?

• 35:37Speaker 03

  You hear that? You hear that?

• 35:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  It's here to pick you up, cause you're gonna fucking die.

• 35:41H. Foley?

  We have known each other almost 20 years.

• 35:43Speaker 03

  Isn't that crazy?

• 35:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:44H. Foley?

  Tommy, you and I have known each other You're furious.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  Ten belly button.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no. I'm shocked. And I'm so tired.

• 35:52H. Foley?

  What are you shocked at?

• 35:53Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  What do you mean, what am I shocked at?

• 35:55H. Foley?

  We're having a fucking good time.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Just turned into a bad episode of Jackass. He just smelled what's equivalent of your asshole, I can only guess.

• 36:02H. Foley?

  My favorite thing.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Probably better. Talk about a double day.

• 36:05H. Foley?

  Kent, we gotta talk about ExpressVPN.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  They probably already know about ExpressVPN, but if not, let them know.

• 36:11H. Foley?

  Cause you can't be out there just with everything hanging out. Get yourself ExpressVPN so you could do a little work and a little privacy. You know what I mean? You don't need people poking around. Google's still looking.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  The thing, this is the thing I didn't know about VPNs. It's like, you think, hey, I'm on Google, I'm on this, I'm good. It's like, all your information is out there. Everybody's looking.

• 36:34H. Foley?

  That's all they want is your information.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  They're sniffing, they're selling, they're buying, they're stealing everything. You're susceptible to everybody's got their hand in your pocket, your information.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  Knowing your business.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  It's like keeping your front door open going, "Come on in, take a peek."

• 36:49H. Foley?

  I like a little seduction porn. That's a problem.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  Every time you connect to an unencrypted network in a cafe, a hotel, an airport, et cetera, your online data is not secure. Any hacker on the same network can gain access and steal your personal data, your passwords, your bank login, your credit card deets, the whole nine yards. It doesn't take much, much technical knowledge to hack someone. Just some cheap hardware is all you need. A smart 12-year-old could do it. Or maybe Foley, if he puts his mind to it.

• 37:12H. Foley?

  A real dumb 49-year-old.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Your data is available. Hackers make up to $1,000 per person selling personal info on the dark web. Don't get got. Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com/garbage. I use it now because we travel so much. We're connecting here, I'm connecting there, I'm connecting over there. I got ExpressVPN blocking everybody. Get out of here. Boom, pow, ping. Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com/garbage. That's express, E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash garbage. To find out how you can get up to four extra months for free, expressvpn.com/garbage. Do it.

• 37:44H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 37:46Speaker 06

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• 38:12Speaker 04

  My favorite thing in the world...

• 38:13H. Foley?

  Daily double.

• 38:14Speaker 04

  My favorite thing in the world is finding Kevin Ryan's edge. Cause he's such a good sport about everything.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  I don't have many edges. I have like, one edge.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  It's that.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  It's belly button.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  It's belly button.

• 38:28H. Foley?

  You find me...

• 38:29Speaker 04

  That is fucking repulsive.

• 38:30H. Foley?

  Gross.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  What? I don't find you sexy. You're not a fucking stud muffin.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  I find you tolerable.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  Tolerable?

• 38:42Speaker 04

  I mean like...

• 38:42H. Foley?

  He's one of our favorite people in the world.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  I'm obviously kidding.

• 38:45H. Foley?

  No, he meant sexually.

• 38:46Speaker 04

  Never, let me tell you something.

• 38:48H. Foley?

  That's even weirder.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  I'll fuck him.

• 38:50H. Foley?

  No, I'm not saying no, but...

• 38:51Speaker 02

  His asshole ain't hairy, but I can still get the job done.

• 38:54Speaker 04

  But that's nuts.

• 38:55H. Foley?

  I bring him home to my wife, I say, "Beat this." Let me see what his birdhouse is like.

• 39:02H. Foley?

  Hey hon, good to see you again.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Hope the parents are well.

• 39:09H. Foley?

  House is beautiful, by the way.

• 39:12H. Foley?

  And then finger Foley's belly button going, "Huh?"

• 39:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:15H. Foley?

  This is what I need right now.

• 39:17Speaker 04

  Make me a quarter pounder.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  Oh guys.

• 39:24H. Foley?

  You.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  It's been such a pleasure to be back.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  It's been great having you. One of my favorites.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Happy summer.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Happy summer, what?

• 39:34H. Foley?

  September. Mid.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  I think...

• 39:36H. Foley?

  Summer's not over till September 21st, am I wrong? You said cr- what? You say December's not over till September 28th?

• 39:44Speaker 03

  Summer's not over till September 23rd.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Is that true?

• 39:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  No, buddy, I'm having a blast. I'm so happy to see you guys. It's been so long since we've all been together. I love the four of us when we get together.

• 39:54H. Foley?

  I don't know what everybody's bitching about.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  And we'll never do it again.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  I'm not bitching.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  I'm not bitching.

• 39:58H. Foley?

  I'm not bitching.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  I'm just telling you what the fuck is going on.

• 40:01H. Foley?

  What's going on?

• 40:01Speaker 03

  We're drunk.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 40:04H. Foley?

  You've been drinking.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something. I want to tell you the truth.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  I'm drunk, but my eyebrows are on coke.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  My eyebrows took a five-hour energy. I worked a double and my back hurts.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  My eyebrows doing the heavy lifting.

• 40:20H. Foley?

  I think if we called the coke guy, Tommy's eyebrows would show up at the front door.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  This is a live podcast? If you guys do...

• 40:32Speaker 02

  What, are you doing your plugs?

• 40:33Speaker 03

  No, I was gonna say something real good.

• 40:34H. Foley?

  He was gonna solicit the audience for drugs, I believe.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  No, it was gonna be worse.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  You think you're on the news or something?

• 40:41H. Foley?

  Agalor.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  Unlike Agalor. Remember that guy? Wide receiver? No, but the guy who was... No, he was saving that they were... There was a fire in North Philly and they were dropping... They had to drop the babies out of the window. And they were catching... The neighborhood kids were catching them. And he's like, "I didn't drop it." He passes. Unlike Agalor.

• 41:01H. Foley?

  And you know what's funny too? I forgot that Freddie Mitchell was the guy that McNabb threw that crazy bomb kill.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Fourth down Freddie.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Fred X.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  For 24, 26.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  Fourth and 28.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Look up Freddie Mitchell, 24 or 26?

• 41:11Speaker 03

  I think it was 28.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  24 and 24, Fred X.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Fred X.

• 41:15H. Foley?

  When he did all that scrambling in that fucking gun down. I forgot that was Freddie Mitchell.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Since then, he's been scrambling at all these clubs in Philly.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  We've been hanging out with him. We've hung out with him a couple of times.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:24H. Foley?

  He was with those Coast Guard girls.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  No, they were National Guard.

• 41:27H. Foley?

  I think he's a nice guy and probably a good clean son.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  No, he was number 84. Yeah, Fred X. No, but the play, fourth and... Freddie Mitchell, fourth...

• 41:35H. Foley?

  Fourth and 21.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Fourth and 24, I believe.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Put your shoes on and then retype.

• 41:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, put your shoes on when you're taping up Eagles facts.

• 41:44Speaker 05

  Fourth and twenty-six.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  Damn!

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Fourth and twenty-six.

• 41:47H. Foley?

  That was a bomb, too.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  We humiliated ourselves.

• 41:49Speaker 05

  One twelve left on the clock.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Woo! That's a good year. Two thousand and five?

• 41:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  Gaybird.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Nothing happened. Yeah, two thousand and five.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  They lost the Super Bowl and my friend G-Doc ripped a Mercedes, uh, thing off a car.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  An emblem?

• 42:05H. Foley?

  That's what McNabb threw up.

• 42:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:07H. Foley?

  Who were they playing?

• 42:08Speaker 03

  Saints.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  They were.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  Was it the Saints?

• 42:11Speaker 04

  No.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  No, it was the...

• 42:12Speaker 05

  Packers.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  Packers?

• 42:13Speaker 04

  Packers.

• 42:13H. Foley?

  Was it?

• 42:14Speaker 03

  He threw up against the Packers.

• 42:15Speaker 05

  Fourth and twenty-six?

• 42:16Speaker 02

  No, that G-Doc, that was against... No.

• 42:18H. Foley?

  It's gotta be Patriots. Where were they lost that Super Bowl to?

• 42:21Speaker 02

  No?

• 42:22Speaker 03

  I thought he threw up the NFC Championship, championship game to get to the Super Bowl. The year we did...

• 42:28Speaker 04

  No, no, he threw up in the Super Bowl, for sure.

• 42:30H. Foley?

  He did, right?

• 42:31Speaker 02

  It was all that chunky soup.

• 42:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was versus the Patriots.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Don't mind the daily news.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Was it?

• 42:36Speaker 05

  Again, the Super Bowl was the Patriots.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:38H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 42:39Speaker 04

  He threw up.

• 42:39H. Foley?

  Yeah. On the last drive.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  Oh, really tough guy?

• 42:44H. Foley?

  Who, I'm a tough guy?

• 42:44Speaker 02

  No, him.

• 42:45H. Foley?

  What'd he say?

• 42:45Speaker 02

  First of all, you're flexing in the wrong room, Tommy.

• 42:48H. Foley?

  You're from Connecticut.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Tommy's three minutes from hitting somebody and it's, it's gonna be you.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  No, I'm, I'm actually not that angry.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  My eyebrows are furious.

• 42:56H. Foley?

  Cause you're a sweet kid.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  I am a sweet kid.

• 42:58H. Foley?

  No, he is. You're a...

• 42:59Speaker 04

  Wait, what's your team, Luke?

• 43:01Speaker 05

  Patriots.

• 43:02H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  Isn't that crazy?

• 43:03Speaker 03

  You're what?

• 43:04Speaker 05

  Pats.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  You're, you're Pats?

• 43:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  Where you from?

• 43:07Speaker 04

  Connecticut. He's just far enough...

• 43:08H. Foley?

  Ten minutes outside the city.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  You don't think?

• 43:13Speaker 04

  No, please don't. I'm doing it on purpose. You fucking...

• 43:18H. Foley?

  Oh, you're doing it on purpose? That'll put Kevin at ease.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, don't, don't. Alright, let's start over. You're, you're Pats fan?

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Where you from?

• 43:31Speaker 04

  Connecticut.

• 43:32H. Foley?

  That sounds like a nice part of town.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  A lot of cool people from that town, huh?

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Is your father Patriots fan?

• 43:38Speaker 05

  Nah, Bears fan, actually.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  Your father's away?

• 43:41Speaker 05

  Bears fan.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  I thought you had a Chicago face.

• 43:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:44H. Foley?

  He doesn't have Chicago face.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  First of all, this is two drunk guys, combatively interrogating.

• 43:49Speaker 04

  Don't you think you got Chicago face?

• 43:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:52H. Foley?

  About what?

• 43:53Speaker 05

  I'd have to have like fifty more pounds out of Chicago face.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  What?

• 43:56Speaker 02

  What do you think when you think of Chicago?

• 43:58Speaker 04

  Him.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Really?

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's.

• 44:00H. Foley?

  I think it's sausages.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, but he's got a real, like, his, you got Chicago.

• 44:06H. Foley?

  Kielbasa's.

• 44:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:09H. Foley?

  Why don't you cook kielbasa on, uh, look at this?

• 44:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, why don't we?

• 44:13Speaker 02

  What? Remember when you served us all bad crab and lobster?

• 44:18H. Foley?

  That wasn't all bad crab. That wasn't Tommy's fault. They were dead.

• 44:20Speaker 04

  What the fuck was that? Kev, that was a wonderful fucking meal.

• 44:24H. Foley?

  It was a wonderful meal.

• 44:25Speaker 04

  You didn't like that?

• 44:26H. Foley?

  They were dead.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  They were dead.

• 44:27H. Foley?

  But that wasn't Tommy's fault.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  No, we froze. They were just frozen.

• 44:31H. Foley?

  No, they were.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  No, and we tried to bring them back alive.

• 44:34H. Foley?

  No.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Little bit.

• 44:36H. Foley?

  No, we didn't.

• 44:36Speaker 04

  Really?

• 44:37Speaker 02

  I think so. I haven't felt the same since.

• 44:41Speaker 04

  Oh, my God. Why'd you feed him sick, dead lobster?

• 44:45H. Foley?

  It wasn't his fault. We left him in the fridge.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  That's a guy learning how to talk. Why'd you send him sick?

• 44:51H. Foley?

  Tommy!

• 44:52Speaker 02

  Tired lobster.

• 44:53H. Foley?

  Say, look at Tommy. They got Tommy upset.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  It's insane.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  What?

• 44:59Speaker 04

  You served us dead lobster. And did it affect me? No.

• 45:04H. Foley?

  It was delicious, Tommy.

• 45:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was so good.

• 45:09H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's food safety.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Take that, you idiot.

• 45:11H. Foley?

  Tommy loses his goddamn life.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Give him the meat.

• 45:13H. Foley?

  Tommy, look, look, here, here you go.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  Hey, start. Ready? Do your thing.

• 45:18H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. After just a big old piece of trash.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Trash, trash, trash!

• 45:30H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Holy, coming at you on a beautiful day.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Are we really doing this?

• 45:33H. Foley?

  Packing hoodies and a new addition, having a couple garage beers with the boys. My co-host is coming right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is the international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  Hey, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are cooking. Almost fucked up. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks, guys.

• 45:56H. Foley?

  Guys, it's

• 45:57Speaker 02

  Now, I'll give it to you.

• 45:58H. Foley?

  We couldn't be more excited to have our two incredibly special guests here with us for the first time. We've known these guys, I think, almost 20 years.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  It goes up every time.

• 46:05H. Foley?

  Great friends of ours.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  I know these guys 52 years.

• 46:07H. Foley?

  They do not one, but two amazing shows. They do Stuff On, of course, which you can hear every week on their YouTube channel and anywhere you get audio podcasts. And of course, The Juggernaut runaway hit, the absolute fantastic Look at Dish.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Stay away from the seafood.

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Look at Dish, baby!

• 46:20Speaker 02

  Stay away from the seafood.

• 46:21H. Foley?

  Tommy! Tommy Pope and Crystal.

• 46:23Speaker 03

  Now, that's how you do it.

• 46:24H. Foley?

  Guys, it's so good to be back. Two of the stars of Tires. It's so good to be back.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  I miss you guys so much.

• 46:28H. Foley?

  I mean, when I walked in the door and we sat right down and started doing this, I was so excited.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was great.

• 46:33H. Foley?

  Because, you know, it's like...

• 46:34Speaker 03

  I took my shoes off immediately.

• 46:35H. Foley?

  What the...

• 46:36Speaker 02

  I forgot Tommy doesn't have shoes on.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Let's get regular.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  The fun part about, like, meeting up with you guys again is that it's like, you can't waste a second. If you sit down and you chat it up for a little bit, you can lose some momentum. So now we're rocking and rollin'.

• 46:50H. Foley?

  We're rocking and rolling, we're feeling good.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  You know, one of the pressing questions is, like, I wonder what Foley's belly button smells like. Could we get to the bottom of that barrel?

• 46:57H. Foley?

  Welcome back. Well, I'll tell you what. Let's give it a sniff. Welcome back to a new segment of the show. What's that smell?

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Asshole or belly button?

• 47:08H. Foley?

  That'd be pretty good. Asshole or belly button. I think you'd be able to tell.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  You would think.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  With you?

• 47:13H. Foley?

  You shouldn't be able to tell.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  Big Mac or belly button?

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Special sauce, if you know what I mean.

• 47:20H. Foley?

  Parmesan or Giannini's or belly button? Both have that deep, cheesy aroma.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 47:27H. Foley?

  I love a deep cheese. Will you stop? What are you sorry about?

• 47:30Speaker 03

  I'm sorry for being drunk.

• 47:32H. Foley?

  Tommy, you're always drunk.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  Sorry for being always drunk.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  This is a real coming-of-Jesus moment you're having.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  He's getting worse.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  I'm sorry I've been lying to...

• 47:42H. Foley?

  Oh!

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Where's your fucking laptop? Hurry up!

• 47:46H. Foley?

  That is the third computer, I think, in the last two weeks.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Smart bags over here.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  Fourth computer in two weeks. What do you mean? I'm broadcasting. Diesel! We need a new computer.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  Diesel? Somebody put my shoes back on.

• 47:59H. Foley?

  Delicious! Aren't you glad I had him here? Ay, yo, delicious! That's not a bad name, Nick. Diesel.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  Thank you, Ryan. Ryan.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  It's alright.

• 48:14H. Foley?

  Thank you, Ryan.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  Why do they call you Diesel?

• 48:15Speaker 02

  His last name's D. Ryan.

• 48:17H. Foley?

  Delacagna.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  Ryan D.

• 48:18H. Foley?

  Ryan D. I also call him Mr. Meatballs.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  Or Jimmy Peckerina.

• 48:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, Jimmy Peckerina.

• 48:24Speaker 02

  That's my boy, Jimmy.

• 48:25H. Foley?

  He's currently in stiff, uh, re-contract negotiations right now. That's why he's cleaning up the table for you.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  That's why he's doing so.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Oh, you're holding out?

• 48:34H. Foley?

  If it wasn't he.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  He came with a very high request.

• 48:36Speaker 03

  I like this. Contract holdout?

• 48:40Speaker 02

  Uh, it's something.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  A little Micah Parsons situation. I like this.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Good for him. I said, pay the man. He's doing great work.

• 48:49H. Foley?

  I believe that's what we're gonna do.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  The table's still soaked, by the way. I don't know. I don't know if anybody can see this. My computer and the table are still soaked.

• 48:56H. Foley?

  And now there's crumbs all over the table.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  No, it smells like Peckerina.

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Smells like belly button.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  It's a walk.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  He, uh...

• 49:05Speaker 03

  Well, guys, so like, what are you even up to?

• 49:10Speaker 03

  How's it, Kid?

• 49:11Speaker 02

  Uh, Kid is good. He's, he's very good. Uh...

• 49:18H. Foley?

  Is that a snooze for you, Tommy?

• 49:19Speaker 02

  I'm sorry. Let me, let me see your feet again, broadcaster.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  That's a hot opening.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Two minutes in, he pulls his feet out. That's a guy who's got a lot in the tank.

• 49:27Speaker 03

  That's a hot opening. Also, blur the feet.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  No, cut it. That's, that's the clip.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  A wamoni.

• 49:36H. Foley?

  Just a weird big toe. I take bitcoin and gift cards.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  I'm grabbing a beer.

• 49:40H. Foley?

  I just offered you if you wanted a beer.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  You got a beer right here.

• 49:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  Well, I know, but I'd offer it to you.

• 49:50H. Foley?

  Just walk over to the night and start being...

• 49:55Speaker 02

  I thought he'd never leave.

• 49:56H. Foley?

  Tommy!

• 50:01Speaker 02

  I mean, what's the deal with that shirt, am I right? Could he be more Italian? We get it.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  Boy, howdy.

• 50:07H. Foley?

  What did you eat at San Gennaro?

• 50:09Speaker 04

  Uh...

• 50:10H. Foley?

  Give me the rundown.

• 50:11Speaker 04

  I got a little, I got a little piece of cheesecake, because I have to do it.

• 50:15H. Foley?

  Kicked off?

• 50:16Speaker 04

  What?

• 50:17H. Foley?

  Cheesecake. You know what I could ask you about you might know?

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love cheesecake.

• 50:20H. Foley?

  Oh, I'll wait for Tommy to get back.

• 50:21Speaker 04

  I don't have a sweet tooth. Don't wait for Tommy to get back.

• 50:24H. Foley?

  No, it's a specific culinary question he might know about.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  I bet I, I bet I know it.

• 50:28H. Foley?

  Yeah? What do you know about the Basque region of Spain that does a famous cheesecake called Basque Cheesecake? You don't think about it?

• 50:35Speaker 04

  I don't know anything about that.

• 50:36H. Foley?

  And that's like a real pudding center.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  We'll be right back.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  Pudding center? I don't like a liquid center in my cheesecake. I want, I want, I want a solid texture. I want like a little bit of blueberry, raspberry drip on it.

• 50:47H. Foley?

  Okay. You like a tangy? Or more light? I like a tangy, a deep and tangy.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Really?

• 50:53H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  Like in the cake itself?

• 50:56H. Foley?

  Yeah, I want it, I want it to be very puddingy? Is that the right word?

• 51:00Speaker 04

  No, let the drizzle do the work.

• 51:02H. Foley?

  The drizzle do the work? No, I'm saying I want my, I want a ta, I want a, I want a deep cream cheese tang in it.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  I agree with, I, yeah, but you don't, you're not talking about like a lemon tang or like a fruit tang.

• 51:14H. Foley?

  That was too quick.

• 51:15Speaker 04

  Tom, we're talking about the Basque region of Spain.

• 51:17H. Foley?

  Do you know about their cheesecake, Tommy?

• 51:19Speaker 03

  Uh... Basque cheesecake?

• 51:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:23H. Foley?

  What's the deal?

• 51:24Speaker 03

  It's overcooked.

• 51:25H. Foley?

  What, it is?

• 51:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, they burn the top.

• 51:27H. Foley?

  I thought the center was like puddingish.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  It, yeah. They just, they, they fry it at a high temperature.

• 51:33H. Foley?

  See, I hate that. I love that. It looks so good.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:36Speaker 05

  Tommy, hop to your right a little bit.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  Okay. Luke, you're dead.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Luke, honestly?

• 51:44Speaker 02

  That was a mistake.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  That was fucking insane.

• 51:46H. Foley?

  How many stitches you want, Luke?

• 51:47Speaker 03

  It's, it's like...

• 51:48Speaker 04

  Are you fucking with him?

• 51:49H. Foley?

  No, he just wanted to move over for camera.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know why he wanted to move over. You know what, you know what a risk that was? He finally freshened up.

• 51:57H. Foley?

  That's true. He's in mid dialogue.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  He's feeling fucking...

• 51:59H. Foley?

  You're like the sound guy that Christian Bale had to yell at.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  He realizes you're drunk enough, he might have a chance to beat you up. This is what he thinks. I don't think that he thinks that. He's going, this guy's, this guy's got no shoes on, bad grip.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:10H. Foley?

  I like, I like...

• 52:11Speaker 02

  He's been drinking all day.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:13H. Foley?

  I like you have the bottle of Bullet over there.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  I know, I know.

• 52:15H. Foley?

  Let's see that, by the way. Let's see where we're at. The Bullet meter. That's pretty respectable.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's just you, man.

• 52:22H. Foley?

  No, we had a christening here earlier. Yeah, it's you!

• 52:26Speaker 02

  That's just me.

• 52:29H. Foley?

  I've done that with the daily doubles. That just me?

• 52:32Speaker 02

  In blackout, you come to, covered in wrappers. That just me?

• 52:36H. Foley?

  I will say this, I had a, I had a red velvet cheesecake, or I had a red-

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Shocking, this just in, badass, eats dessert for breakfast.

• 52:42H. Foley?

  No, I had, I had a red velvet birthday cake, sitting in my refrid- my refrigerator for the last two weeks, and I didn't touch it.

• 52:50Speaker 03

  Did you bury the kid he stole from?

• 52:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 52:52Speaker 02

  Your birthday's in February.

• 52:56Speaker 03

  No one's gonna know.

• 52:57H. Foley?

  Pretty much, he actually got mugged on the way home from school, you hear me?

• 53:01Speaker 03

  That poor five-year-old. Loved red velvet. Was it a red velvet cheesecake, or is this red velvet cake?

• 53:06H. Foley?

  Nah, that would've been an issue. But I, I don't, I don't-

• 53:10H. Foley?

  I don't really go for, uh, I don't really go for a lot of, um, uh-

• 53:13Speaker 03

  Sweets?

• 53:14H. Foley?

  No.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  Say cheese, I swear to God. You say cheese right now.

• 53:17H. Foley?

  I don't go for a lot of bells and whistles on my cheesecake. I, straight up the middle.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, same.

• 53:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Same.

• 53:22Speaker 04

  What are you talking about? You got a beautiful multi berry drizzle that you put on it, it's amazing.

• 53:27H. Foley?

  That's not bells and whistles, that's old-

• 53:28Speaker 03

  That's, what are you talking about?

• 53:29H. Foley?

  Nah, I'm talking like the Oreo cheesecake, the dolce leche cheesecake. Uh, there's a place in Astoria that does a, um, uh, baklava cheesecake, which has the wheat on top. Which I don't go for.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. I agree with this.

• 53:42H. Foley?

  Yeah. Yeah, they straight up the middle. That's why I was asking about the bosh cheesecake, because it's pretty, uh, traditional flavors, as far as what they do.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  It's very unique. It's very unique.

• 53:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, the process is different, but it's-

• 53:52Speaker 04

  But they overcook it, you said. It's terrible.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's the whole, the whole point is like, you make a crust on the top.

• 53:57H. Foley?

  You know what's funny is my cousins have an old recipe-

• 54:00Speaker 02

  It's not funny. This is not gonna be funny.

• 54:03H. Foley?

  What's not gonna be funny?

• 54:03Speaker 02

  You said, "You know what's funny? My cousins have an old recipe."

• 54:06H. Foley?

  You know, it's interesting.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  I can assure you, nothing's ever, nothing's ever fucking, no funny thing has ever been, my cousins have a recipe.

• 54:15H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's good to be classy.

• 54:25Speaker 02

  Next.

• 54:25H. Foley?

  After just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here, Tootie's in a new addition. She's upstairs, smoking something out of a lightbulb.

• 54:35H. Foley?

  Mike Carlos is coming at you from right next to me. I'm not doing that. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? International businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Hey, what's up, guys? Thanks for tuning in, uh...

• 54:47H. Foley?

  And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have two incredible special guests back with us again today. They're absolute family at this point. We've known each other over 35 years. We started in comedy together. They're the hosts of two amazing shows. You got Stuff Island, you hear every week. And also, the best cooking show on the internet, Look at Dish. Give it up for Chef Tommy Pope.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  Hey, guys, thanks for...

• 55:08H. Foley?

  And his lovely bride, Chris O'Connor. Dude, every time I come back here, it's so exciting.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  That's our favorite thing, is watching New York...

• 55:13Speaker 02

  Can I get a swig of that bullet?

• 55:14H. Foley?

  Good to see you guys.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  That's...

• 55:16H. Foley?

  It's so exciting to be back.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Watching you deliver that.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Well, I hope you watch it on YouTube, because you're never invited back.

• 55:21H. Foley?

  See, you heard him, again.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, he's a bitch.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Just when we got him back.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I got me and Tommy, I got to see me and Tommy, I got to fly straight together.

• 55:30Speaker 03

  I'll fight anyone right now.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  I'm aware.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  I'm like a perfect...

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Maybe you got a nip of that, uh...

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Drunk and happy?

• 55:36H. Foley?

  You're having a nip? Exhausted, exhausted and pissed off, K-Rice.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  It's awesome.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm fine, no, I'm not pissed off, I'm totally not pissed off.

• 55:43Speaker 03

  The energy I have right now...

• 55:44H. Foley?

  He's furious.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  That's such a drunk guy.

• 55:46H. Foley?

  I've never seen...

• 55:47Speaker 02

  We doing shots? This guy's fucking so mad right now, dude. These are... I've never seen him... I've never seen him laugh for an hour straight and then try to fucking tell this guy he's mad.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  He's a dad, he's a dad.

• 55:57H. Foley?

  Never seen him this angry before, man, it's nuts.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  He had a baby. That's why he's getting fucking pissed.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  This guy's so fucking mad right now, dude. He's like laughing and stuff.

• 56:04H. Foley?

  He keeps looking at me nuts, dude. Look at this guy, look at this guy sitting over here having a good time.

• 56:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, that guy's making a... Who made that cum joke out of my ass before? That guy's furious.

• 56:15H. Foley?

  Here, oh, hold on, we'll do shots. Give it to O'Connor.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 56:19Speaker 02

  That's what he, that's what he needs.

• 56:22H. Foley?

  Let's turn this thing up.

• 56:23Speaker 02

  Let's give him some night-night juice.

• 56:25H. Foley?

  There we go.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  Tommy, do you ever have any of this?

• 56:27Speaker 03

  What is it?

• 56:28H. Foley?

  Sonny, cheers.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  Is that whiskey?

• 56:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, we love this. You're getting a little...

• 56:32Speaker 02

  I don't have a touch of stuff.

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Pour me one, you fucking idiot.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  You have a couple of it.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  I know I do, but it's different.

• 56:38H. Foley?

  All right.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  It's good luck.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  Just give him whatever he wants at this point.

• 56:41H. Foley?

  He's right about this, he's right about this.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Thank you, Chris.

• 56:43H. Foley?

  He's right about this.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Oh, when they, when they unite together, it's bad news.

• 56:47H. Foley?

  The nice New York coffee cups?

• 56:50Speaker 04

  What?

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Foley needs a little that in his belly button.

• 56:52Speaker 04

  His finger touches?

• 56:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:54H. Foley?

  You want some in there now?

• 56:55Speaker 02

  Cheers, boys.

• 56:56H. Foley?

  Cheers. Belly button's more of a mead flavor.

• 57:00Speaker 04

  I love you.

• 57:02H. Foley?

  Good to see you, boys.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Thanks for stopping by.

• 57:06Speaker 04

  Ooh, god damn it.

• 57:08Speaker 03

  Ooh wee.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  Holy mother of...

• 57:12H. Foley?

  Guys at AA aren't gonna be happy with this.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  Did the computer break?

• 57:18H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, that's right.

• 57:19Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 57:19H. Foley?

  Crap outta here.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  No. Really?

• 57:23Speaker 03

  No.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  It did. Foley just tried everything he could. Let me hit the main fr- no, I think it's just dead.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Oh, it's all the powers.

• 57:30Speaker 04

  Pigeon coop peck at it?

• 57:31Speaker 02

  Dude, he's been dying for a fucking computer, you know?

• 57:34H. Foley?

  He's supposed to get a goddamn laptop.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  I've always wanted to know.

• 57:37H. Foley?

  I signed my contract, he's supposed to get a laptop.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Why can't you get a laptop? What are you talking about?

• 57:41Speaker 02

  First of all...

• 57:42Speaker 04

  Also, why do you sound like you're talking to fucking NBC?

• 57:46H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 57:46Speaker 02

  What?

• 57:47Speaker 04

  You're like, "I signed my contract, he's supposed to get a laptop." It's your...

• 57:50H. Foley?

  I signed a contract?

• 57:52Speaker 02

  It's not.

• 57:52H. Foley?

  I'm under contract?

• 57:53Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:54H. Foley?

  I'm under loan out, Tommy.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 57:57H. Foley?

  Not doing a student film.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  What's with the tape on top of the computer? Let's get to the bottom of that.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  Cause the little freaks watching.

• 58:01Speaker 04

  Everyone's been asking, I see all the comments all the time.

• 58:03H. Foley?

  That's how the CIA get you.

• 58:04Speaker 04

  What's with the tape?

• 58:05Speaker 03

  Dude, let him, let him watch you trick.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  Guys, we wanna know.

• 58:08H. Foley?

  They can squirt heart attack juice out of that in two seconds, they get ya.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Heart attack juice?

• 58:12H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  No, they're filming you squirt heart attack juice.

• 58:16H. Foley?

  You know what I always thought about?

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Who gives a shit?

• 58:17H. Foley?

  Can they get into the phone and watch you too?

• 58:19Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, baby.

• 58:20Speaker 03

  Are you kidding?

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Somebody did a really good bit of that, like, it's some guy at the NSA is just looking at a bunch of dudes with their face right here when they're all tricking off.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, there's a lot of that.

• 58:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. I cover it up.

• 58:30H. Foley?

  You cover it up?

• 58:31Speaker 03

  Your phone?

• 58:32Speaker 04

  I hold the phone in a way that I put, like, uh...

• 58:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, that'll trick 'em.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, hold on. I do this. I do this.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Get close, I wanna hear this.

• 58:40Speaker 04

  I grip it...

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Like this.

• 58:42H. Foley?

  Oh, wow. Cause you think someone's gonna watch you jerking off?

• 58:44Speaker 03

  And you're worried about someone watching you beat off to something? Yeah. Well, what are you beating off to? Nothing in particular. So then.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  The sunset.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  They're gonna watch you. They don't care what you're watching. Why do you care what they're beating?

• 58:57Speaker 02

  He doesn't want, he doesn't wanna be seen.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  I don't wanna be seen jacking off.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Him seen.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Cares.

• 59:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, who gives a shit?

• 59:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  I kinda do.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Really? What are you talking?

• 59:05Speaker 02

  I mean, that's not like footage you want out there. That's not, that's not you at your best.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Why would that be released?

• 59:09H. Foley?

  And what are you gonna do? Everybody does it.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  What?

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Why would that be released? Why are they gonna just play Kevin Ryan here's just beating off to two fat fucking.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  What?

• 59:18Speaker 03

  Natural titted Asians.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  Is that what you think I'm into?

• 59:21Speaker 03

  I don't know what you're into. That's not even a search I've ever tried.

• 59:24H. Foley?

  I have.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  I'm about to.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  Tonight is the night. Two natural titted Asians. Cause I don't wanna see, people see me jacking off.

• 59:33H. Foley?

  Everybody jacks off.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  No, guys, we know. We're aware.

• 59:38H. Foley?

  We're all watching porn. We're all fucking, you know, whatever. We're all humans.

• 59:42Speaker 02

  Says a guy trying to normalize his weird searches. We're all doing stuff. We're all being weird.

• 59:46H. Foley?

  My searches are normal.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  They don't, they don't need to see my face.

• 59:50H. Foley?

  lesbian seduction.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  You really think, if you really think that your cum face when you're like on the toilet jacking off is gonna be something that people are gonna go? No one's gonna see it. I'm not interested in that. No one's gonna see it.

• 1:00:02H. Foley?

  My cum face is actually pretty.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Very similar to the double, the double day or the.

• 1:00:08H. Foley?

  I don't know what it is. My orgasms have been extremely strong over the summer. I don't know why.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  And they're almost.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  I bet you break glass when you cum, dude.

• 1:00:17H. Foley?

  They're almost on like a delayed fuse.

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  Why don't you shoot him a lick about?

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, give me a lick.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  You shoot him a lick?

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, we made eye contact, whereas he said my orgasms have been strong all summer. Man, these guys are wearing off on me.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  What do you, what do you think it is?

• 1:00:29Speaker 02

  I just got hit like a ton of bricks.

• 1:00:30H. Foley?

  When I said it, he was biting his lips. I pulled away.

• 1:00:35H. Foley?

  No, they've been like, like-

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Why do you think you're coming so hard?

• 1:00:37H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  Do you fire off?

• 1:00:39H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  Are you using like a lotion?

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah, he just did. I have to explain this to you.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  Do I fire off?

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 1:00:47H. Foley?

  What do you mean? Do I start yelling at my dick?

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  Do you fire off? No, you're shooting ropes. Yeah.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Are you dumping clips?

• 1:00:52H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  Are you dumping clips?

• 1:00:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Big.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  Dump clips? Really?

• 1:00:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, and I feel like, it sounds weird. I feel like my dick has gotten bigger.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  Hasn't.

• 1:01:01H. Foley?

  Which is crazy.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  No, that can happen.

• 1:01:03H. Foley?

  Or there's, there's more blood flowing.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I guarantee that. That can happen. Not every dick is the same.

• 1:01:09H. Foley?

  What? Tell that to my mom.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  I'm just saying, sometimes you have a dick and you go, "This is not my, this is not even my dick." This is not my dick.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  But your dick isn't the same all the time, you're saying.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll give you that, my god. You go, "They didn't, we didn't show up today."

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  But we put it, we, you know, we showed up, we did what we could, that was it.

• 1:01:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, there are, there-

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  We put a hard hat on, lunch pail.

• 1:01:32H. Foley?

  There are moments where it's like, hey, like, you're, you're ready for it, you feel it. You know what I mean?

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've been hard before, what the fuck?

• 1:01:39Speaker 03

  But have you been really hard?

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm the only one here with child, okay?

• 1:01:44H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  Oh. How do you feel like your dick was when you made it happen?

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  It was great.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  It was a good one?

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's not gonna love this, but yeah, it was great.

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  What, you remember?

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  And you go, "This is the one, this is the one, we did it." You think we couldn't do that?

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  I don't know if we can. You think we couldn't do that?

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  I don't know, you're taking it as a challenge that I'm not really throwing the gauntlet down.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  You don't think I've perfected not doing that 20 years?

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  Uh, sure.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  I'm not sure what you're saying. A gaggle of piglets wanted me to do that, and I didn't do that. There we go.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  And I pull.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  Fire off. Spine. Yeah.

• 1:02:28H. Foley?

  Tommy's a dirty bird.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  Ski shooting?

• 1:02:31Speaker 03

  And it's a choice. It's a fucking choice.

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  You're saying you could have a baby.

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  Should we cut this?

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  It's up to you. It's yours.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  And we're back.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  You just dump it.

• 1:02:43H. Foley?

  Ladies and gentlemen, wait. Welcome to Are You Garbage? Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:02:51H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  We should just fade to black right now.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:02:56H. Foley?

  You're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new addition. She's in the kitchen, sitting in a birdcage for some reason.