Kristen Schaal asks about the afterlife

Handsome takes some time to remember our friend Andrea Gibson, and the hosts answer a fitting question from Kristen Schaal about the afterlife. Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

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• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Fortune Feimster?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website. With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy.

• 1:20Fortune Feimster?

  So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:48Tig Notaro?

  Cheers.

• 1:50Mae Martin?

  Welcome to the Handsome Pod. You're joined, as always, by three individuals who individually are me, Mae Martin,

• 1:58Tig Notaro?

  me, Tig Notaro,

• 2:00Fortune Feimster?

  and me, Fortune Themester.

• 2:03Tig Notaro?

  I have to say, I'm still having that issue where I can't hear the theme song, so I just have to follow the head bobs.

• 2:11Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 2:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:13Fortune Feimster?

  Well, the theme song is always in your heart. I do know that.

• 2:17Mae Martin?

  I do know that.

• 2:18Tig Notaro?

  Yes, it is. It is in my heart. It's in my soul. It is all-encompassing.

• 2:26Fortune Feimster?

  Well... Good to see you guys.

• 2:29Mae Martin?

  Good to see you too. Everyone looking good.

• 2:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, everyone's looking handsome.

• 2:33Fortune Feimster?

  You and Mayer are kind of twins.

• 2:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we are.

• 2:36Fortune Feimster?

  Today.

• 2:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:39Fortune Feimster?

  White tees.

• 2:40Mae Martin?

  White headphones. Did you have a chain, a gold chain, Tig?

• 2:43Fortune Feimster?

  It looks like Tig does have on a gold chain.

• 2:45Tig Notaro?

  I do. Um, you know, the, um, wonderful documentary I produced about Andrea Gibson, the, uh, film crew, we all wore Andrea necklaces. Over the past, over the past year and, yeah. And I, I don't normally wear it out of my shirt and I actually honestly didn't even realize it was out of my shirt, but, uh, there it is. It says Andrea.

• 3:15Fortune Feimster?

  Does it say Andrea? Is that what it says?

• 3:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it says Andrea.

• 3:18Mae Martin?

  Oh, I can see that. That's nice.

• 3:20Fortune Feimster?

  That is nice.

• 3:22Mae Martin?

  I were so sorry for your loss and, um, I've been just consuming tons of Andrea's work and content over the past few days. But how are you doing?

• 3:36Tig Notaro?

  I am.

• 3:41Tig Notaro?

  Here it comes.

• 3:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:45Mae Martin?

  Very up and down, I imagine.

• 3:48Tig Notaro?

  Yep.

• 3:50Mae Martin?

  Or what you said before about feeling like you're on a different planet, that really resonates because it's like, life is kind of continuing for everyone else, but you've got this fishbowl around you of just like.

• 4:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's, uh, it's just such a, it's, it's so crazy. It's like before I got on today, I was like, oh, I'm, I'm okay. I had a very rough morning, woke up at four, took a walk and watched the sunrise.

• 4:20Tig Notaro?

  Wait, do you hear that?

• 4:21Mae Martin?

  No. What is it?

• 4:23Tig Notaro?

  I have no idea what just started.

• 4:27Tig Notaro?

  This is so crazy. I hear myself doing stand-up.

• 4:34Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 4:36Tig Notaro?

  What do I do?

• 4:39Fortune Feimster?

  You should listen to yourself and laugh.

• 4:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:43Tig Notaro?

  None of the material sounds familiar.

• 4:47Mae Martin?

  The future set.

• 4:49Tig Notaro?

  Hey, it's Tig. This is a little unusual, but it's about a week after we recorded this episode, and I wanted to add in a quick explanation after the fact of what just happened. So, mid-chat about the loss of Andrea Gibson, I started to hear random stand-up of mine in my headphones. Neither my co-host nor Thomas could hear it. I wasn't touching my computer or my headphones, nothing. I had to search for where this was coming from to try and turn it off. My relationship with Andrea was always fun and funny, so if this

• 5:32Tig Notaro?

  was Andrea, this is exactly how they would have messed with me on an episode where we are talking about them. Anyway, I just wanted to jump in from the future to give that moment some context in the event that you maybe would find this interesting in some way. Okay.

• 5:56Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 5:56Tig Notaro?

  Where would I find this?

• 5:58Fortune Feimster?

  I wonder, it must be playing on your computer somewhere.

• 6:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like in your iTunes?

• 6:03Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe iTunes?

• 6:05Tig Notaro?

  I found it. That's crazy.

• 6:08Mae Martin?

  Is really surreal. That was...

• 6:10Fortune Feimster?

  It was your own self telling you, trying to soothe yourself.

• 6:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:17Fortune Feimster?

  You said you got, went for a walk?

• 6:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I woke up at four this morning. I've been having trouble, I had been having trouble sleeping because I knew, I was kind of expecting news. Andrea had taken a turn maybe three weeks ago at this point. Today is July 17th. Andrea passed away three days ago. And when Andrea took a turn, you know, you kind of don't know with cancer sometimes because some people just keep on chugging.

• 6:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:56Tig Notaro?

  And in all honesty, I have been hoping for the past four years that my friend Andrea Gibson was a liar. I was hoping so desperately that Andrea was gonna be one of those stories of somebody that lied about their cancer diagnosis because I kept thinking, I can deal with that. I can deal with a friend that's a liar. We can get to the bottom of what is that trauma? Let's, let's figure that out, you know? And I was having trouble sleeping, even though Andrea passed away. I woke up at four, I took

• 7:36Tig Notaro?

  a walk, watched the sun come up. It was just like unbelievably glorious and, and really felt like I wanna, I feel like I could keep walking for the rest of my life. I had so much energy. I was just taking in every bit of beauty around me and, but it was hard. I was taking in the beauty. I was also devastated, reliving it all. And what I'll say is, I

• 8:14Tig Notaro?

  was lucky enough to get out to Boulder, to be there at Andrea's bedside. And it's the fourth deathbed I've been at. And man, have they all been so different.

• 8:36Mae Martin?

  Really? Yeah.

• 8:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And Andrea was at home and I'm not gonna go into great detail. This is all very new. But what I will say is that I don't know when I will ever come out of this.

• 9:04Tig Notaro?

  Headspace that I'm in after the experience that I

• 9:11Tig Notaro?

  went through with Andrea's friends and family. So many people showed up from so many different histories with so many complications, some with very short journeys, figurative and literal journeys to that bedside. And also emotional journeys to get there. And it was, you know, I talked to my therapist before, just like, man, I'm,

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  I am scared to walk in that door, you know, seeing a friend die.

• 9:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 9:57Tig Notaro?

  And then also, this is a web. This is a web. And it was so transformative and beautiful.

• 10:12Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, in a positive way, that's?

• 10:14Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed. Like, I walked in with expectations that I think a lot of people did.

• 10:25Tig Notaro?

  And

• 10:28Tig Notaro?

  all of the journeys that everybody was on came together in one of the most beautiful otherworldly ways.

• 10:45Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 10:46Tig Notaro?

  That I,

• 10:49Tig Notaro?

  it was so sad, it was so deeply sad. And it was also so, it's, it's so crazy because the day I got there, Andrea was sitting up.

• 11:02Tig Notaro?

  With their parents and like, you know, Tig, tell, tell my mom and dad about that thing with Max and Finn and, and I, you know, I was telling funny stories and we were all sitting around and by that night, that's where the turn took. But, um, and it, and it all, I'm just so thankful I got there when I did, but man, when I walked in and, and saw Andrea, we just embraced and, and they were just sobbing. We were holding each other sobbing and they were like, "I'm crying because I love you

• 11:40Tig Notaro?

  so much, okay?" And I was like, "Same, I love you." It, uh, it just was really, really beautiful and I wish I, selfishly, I wish I could share every detail, but it's just not, it's not for me to do and it's not for me to do right now, but it was poetic. It was, I mean, Andrea was truly, it's so crazy too, because I met Andrea 25 years ago backstage in Boulder.

• 12:23Tig Notaro?

  And I remember being introduced and my friend was like, "This is Andrea Gibson, a poet." I'm looking at this person that looks so familiar and feels so familiar. They're tatted up, cool, sexy. I came from like, a past of rock and roll, music business, comedy. I was like, "I know this person. This person feels so familiar to me, but poet?" That is, that's not my world. Yeah. And then I, and then I watched Andrea walk on stage and just destroy the room.

• 13:10Tig Notaro?

  You're crying, you're laughing, and I was like, I had never experienced anything like this, and nor would I have guessed 25 years ago backstage that I would be at Andrea's side at end of life. And I'm so, I think I mentioned this maybe somewhere on the podcast, but my dearest friend from childhood sister died, and I remember calling my mother and being like, what do I do? I'm so scared to go over there. My mother said, you just go. You just walk in the door.

• 13:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 13:53Tig Notaro?

  And that impacted my life. I think I was 23, and I remember having that fear of walking in to Andrea and Meg's house. But what was on the other side of that door? I mean, Andrea saw bits and pieces of what was happening in that house. And if I had missed that, I mean, I would never have known what I missed.

• 14:22Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 14:23Tig Notaro?

  But it was, it was life changing, to the point, and I know, of course, I'll go back to my life and things will be, you know, back to normal. But the headspace I'm in right now, I cannot imagine.

• 14:40Mae Martin?

  Like, what are you carrying with you from it? Like, kind of, because I thought when it happened, it's so rare and unique for someone to be so aware of that process that they're going through and create art from it and kind of narrate it for the people around them.

• 14:59Tig Notaro?

  Face it head on.

• 15:00Mae Martin?

  Face it and be like, and so much of Andrea's work was about gratitude and presence and love and like, yeah, what, what, what do you want to hold on to from that headspace? Like, like gratitude and presence and things?

• 15:15Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, I mean, I think that's kind of the, the thing that you're, once you experience that kind of sorrow, grief, loss, you just, you want to stay in that sweet spot of like, God, I'm so. I'm so thankful. I'm like, that's what I keep telling people is I'm equally as grateful as I am sad. I'm just, I'm, I'm, it's almost like I'm levitating. Like I've taken mushrooms or something where I'm just like, whoa, you are not going to believe what I just saw. There's that and, but it's also, it's just that bittersweet feeling. I keep thinking

• 16:00Tig Notaro?

  about Andrea's line of, you know, let your heart break so your spirit doesn't. And, um, and it feels really good to just let my heart break. And I don't know, you know, it's so crazy. I was thinking about all the different losses in life, like a parent can abandon a family, or you go through a breakup, or somebody just kind of ghosts you and you're left going, what

• 16:38Tig Notaro?

  hap- like, what? Like, okay. Um, or a death. And it, it's all, it's just so many different

• 16:48Tig Notaro?

  versions of grief or confusion. And what I have to say about Andrea is, and oh, and Fortune, I saw that you posted that love letter from the afterlife.

• 17:00Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:01Tig Notaro?

  That where Andrea is reading a poem they wrote for their wife.

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Tig Notaro?

  Um, that's so beautiful.

• 17:11Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:12Tig Notaro?

  And I'm not a religious person. I'm not somebody that's like, oh, I can, I saw my loved one, or I, I, I, I don't know. I'm just not that person. But I have to say Andrea.

• 17:30Tig Notaro?

  Unlike so many of those other

• 17:36Tig Notaro?

  departures and

• 17:39Tig Notaro?

  confusing grief that you're left with. As sad as I am, I was just telling my friend staff the other day that I kind of can't finish my sentence because two different things are coming together, two different thoughts. One being, I'm not a religious person. I don't really believe in the woo woo stuff. Meanwhile, here comes this other thought of Andrea has left us, our friends, our family, our, the strangers, fans, whoever, with so much to get through this, to carry us through. There's so many, especially when you hear that poem of

• 18:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:26Tig Notaro?

  A love letter from

• 18:27Fortune Feimster?

  Incredible.

• 18:28Tig Notaro?

  Wasn't it?

• 18:29Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm.

• 18:34Tig Notaro?

  What were your favorite lines?

• 18:36Fortune Feimster?

  Tell me the altitude of heaven and I'll, or ask me the altitude of heaven and I'll ask how tall you are. That's not the exact line, but like, keeping the secrets in your back pocket of

• 18:52Tig Notaro?

  All the things you never said.

• 18:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that you thought would make me love you less and that only makes me love you more. I mean, there's so many, there's so many lines. I, I did not know Andrea personally. I, I got to see Andrea perform once and like you and like everybody just fucking blown away. Like, how does a person have this kind of depth and the ability to speak it, you know, like, that's the thing that I'm like, may I have been watching a lot of poems since Andrea passed and just like couldn't believe a person could

• 19:30Fortune Feimster?

  Like describe the human experience and love in the way that Andrea did, like the depth of it. And just seeing that, I just couldn't imagine how hard that would have been to like, write it. And then say it to the person that you love and are leaving. I can't imagine Meg hearing it.

• 19:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:49Fortune Feimster?

  Um, so I posted it as, you know, an homage to Andrea, having not known her, but really feeling the loss for all of the people in Andrea's life.

• 20:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:00Fortune Feimster?

  And I, the, it's got, it's gotten almost a million views of people just being like,

• 20:06Tig Notaro?

  On your page?

• 20:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

• 20:10Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 20:11Fortune Feimster?

  I lost someone and it, this makes me feel so much better.

• 20:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:17Fortune Feimster?

  Cause you know, I always think like when someone dies, like you want them to be remembered.

• 20:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:22Fortune Feimster?

  That their life mattered and certainly Andrea's did and does and their words will live on. But, and to just see people be like, holy cow, this, this is transformative, seeing this, hearing this. Like it really, it really was.

• 20:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And I know it's like, I, I mean, I, I texted this to you and I know it's like, no, it's not a huge comfort, I imagine. But to be able to have made that documentary and for Andrea to have felt that reaction and, and how much it touched people and to be able to sort of eulogize someone when they're with us is so rare and special to be able to do that. But yeah, yeah, I hope everybody's, yeah. Reading Andrea's work and watching the videos and.

• 21:12Tig Notaro?

  And one of the beautiful, amazing things was that because so many people learned about Andrea, there was a massive influx of book sales of Andrea's that after I left, our friend Steph called me and said, Tig, we have been having a book shipping party. And they've been at Andrea's house, just Meg and friends packing up all these books and shipping them off. And, uh, and, and if I can encourage people, like if you're like, how do I get more Andrea? Not to turn this into a commercial, but like,

• 21:58Tig Notaro?

  I know Andrea has saved so many people's lives through their words. I just would love for more people to experience the, um, yeah, just laser precision.

• 22:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:15Tig Notaro?

  Just real quick to go back to the afterlife, one of my favorite lines, and of course I can't, I don't know it exactly, but.

• 22:22Mae Martin?

  Well, let's go, let's get it up.

• 22:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, get it up. But it's a line about how Andrea, in the afterlife, is going to share

• 22:35Tig Notaro?

  their grief with the people about to be born.

• 22:38Mae Martin?

  One day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited.

• 22:45Fortune Feimster?

  And saying, I'm with you more now than I ever was, is pretty powerful. Like, I thought I was going somewhere else, but I'm actually here more now than ever. Yeah, I think what struck me about Andrea was just seeing someone love life so much. Having not known Andrea personally, the takeaway is like, God, you, it makes you want to be so much more appreciative, like you said about being grateful. Like, there was an interview Andrea did about like, having just found out their cancer was incurable, and they went on a drive, and there was, they saw like llamas, and Meg was like, look at the llama.

• 23:30Fortune Feimster?

  And Andrea's like, I don't want to open my eyes because I'm afraid I'll love it so much. And then they did, and then they loved it so much. And I just admired that, that just taking everything in so deeply and appreciatively. And then it makes you just like, I can only imagine how you feel in the people in Andrea's life, but it makes you be like, that's the person who should get to love this for so much longer. But then you're also like. They loved more than people do in eighty years, you know, they did that in forty-nine.

• 24:09Tig Notaro?

  Almost hit fifty.

• 24:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I know.

• 24:14Tig Notaro?

  And that was their dream. They just, they wanted to hit fifty. And I, I, I said this in my post on Instagram, but it is, it's one of my favorite things that Andrea said is like, what kind of poet would I be if I could only make life beautiful on the page? And I'm just like, I just love it. I just love it. And really towards the end of, you know, when somebody is going before they go, like, one of the most amazing moments is Andrea kind of yelled out as much as they could in

• 24:56Tig Notaro?

  that state, "I fucking loved my life." And you're just like, oh, God. And, and they did. They did. And I think that's what I was saying before is like, I just, all of it, there's so much for me to turn to and carry me through, like so many people.

• 25:20Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 25:21Tig Notaro?

  And I just am so grateful. I'm so deeply sad, but I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful.

• 25:27Mae Martin?

  It would be so easy to be like consumed by the unfairness of it all and the, like, for someone to stay buoyant through that and like, what a gift to everyone and to them and the bravery. Yeah, yeah. It's really inspiring.

• 25:46Fortune Feimster?

  So Thomas has found the video of Andrea reading their poem, "The Afterlife," to Meg. And I think we should listen to it. It's pretty amazing, pretty powerful.

• 26:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, Andrea's reading it to Meg's face. It was the final television, final interview that, that's what it came from. This is called "Love Letter from the Afterlife."

• 26:21Speaker 04

  I've never read it like this.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  "My love, I was so wrong.

• 26:33Speaker 04

  Dying is the opposite of leaving.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am. It's okay. I know that to be human is to be far sighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive? Ask me the altitude of heaven, and I will answer, how tall are you? In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you'd said. At night, I sit ecstatic at the loom, weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day, I listen to the radio of your memories. Yes, I know every secret you thought too dark to tell me and love you more for everything you feared might make me love you less.

• 28:00Speaker 04

  When you cry, I guide your tears toward the garden of kisses I once planted on your cheek so you know they are all perennials. Forgive me for not being able to weep with you. One day, you will understand. One day, you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited." There is nothing I want for now that we are so close. I open the curtain of your eyelids with my own smile every morning. I wish you could see the beauty.

• 28:42Speaker 04

  Your spirit is right now making of your pain. Your deep-seated fears playing musical chairs, laughing about how real they are not. My love, I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones. Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it through the corridor of your temples. I am more with you than I ever was before. Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger, who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night,

• 29:25Speaker 04

  gathering sunflowers into your chest. The last day you feared you would never again wake up feeling lighthearted. I know it's hard to believe, but I promise it's the truth. I promise one day you will say it too. I can't believe I ever thought I could lose you.

• 29:57Fortune Feimster?

  Jesus Christ.

• 30:04Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know if I could have sat as strongly as that. From either perspective. Oh my God.

• 30:15Tig Notaro?

  You know, and I also, I just, I know we've obviously turned this into, and I'm so thankful. I owe everybody. First of all, the three of you reached out to me, and it meant the world. And so did so many people, so.

• 30:35Tig Notaro?

  Such loving messages and conversations that I've had. But as much as Andrea was one of the most incredible poets, I'm like desperate for people to know Andrea was also one of the most deeply funny people.

• 30:57Fortune Feimster?

  I could see, I could see that.

• 30:59Tig Notaro?

  Deeply, deeply.

• 31:00Fortune Feimster?

  A lot of quirks, yeah.

• 31:02Tig Notaro?

  Deeply funny and like somebody that found everything so precious, but also nothing was too precious.

• 31:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 31:11Tig Notaro?

  And, and one thing I do want to share was like I, one of my fears I was telling my therapist was like, I, I desperately wanted to get in bed with Andrea. I just wanted to be by their side so close. And I didn't know if it was going to be okay to do that. And, but it was and, and I, I, this was, this was like after things kind of took a turn, but Andrea was awake and talking, but you know, very weak still. And so I crawl in bed and this is just like so perfect.

• 31:52Tig Notaro?

  I crawl in bed and Andrea turns and points to the, points to these three little mysterious stains on the bed and just says, I don't know what these are, but, but we'll just blame them on Meg, okay?

• 32:19Tig Notaro?

  And it just made me laugh so hard. I mean, so dry, so funny, so like ready for any, any kind of humor and joke. And one of my favorite things was the lines on Andrea's face. When they smiled and laughed, their smile would lift their skin and create lines on both sides. And I just will miss those so deeply because they were there.

• 32:58Tig Notaro?

  When Andrea was smiling and laughing and I just like, you know, it goes back to that when somebody feels like home, their sense of humor was home.

• 33:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 33:11Tig Notaro?

  But again, I really appreciate this chance to, to talk about Andrea and I just am very thankful for everybody's love and I know Meg and everybody's so thankful.

• 33:26Mae Martin?

  Thank you for

• 33:29Mae Martin?

  talking about it with us and letting us all like cry with you and feel that with you.

• 33:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 33:36Mae Martin?

  I'm sure people listening are also feeling that.

• 33:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, there are few people who impact others so much that you would have a wife and four ex-girlfriends and dozens of friends surrounding you in your death. That is, I think a lot of people read that and went, whoa.

• 33:57Tig Notaro?

  And fortune.

• 33:59Fortune Feimster?

  Uncommon and what a person to be able to bring all those people back around.

• 34:04Tig Notaro?

  And fortune.

• 34:07Tig Notaro?

  My friend. Was it?

• 34:12Tig Notaro?

  A few days of it was, I'm endlessly thankful I was in that mix because I have not seen shape shifting in the most glorious way than in that house.

• 34:26Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I can only imagine, yeah.

• 34:29Tig Notaro?

  You can only imagine.

• 34:31Fortune Feimster?

  And I can't even imagine because it's just so rare what, what you experienced is I imagine, yeah, that just does not happen.

• 34:42Mae Martin?

  That's something to aspire to. That's like, you know, you've had a life well-lived that in your day-to-day life to keep that in mind in terms of your relationships and your friendships and stuff. Not, not like I hope these people are at my deathbed, but just like how powerful those connections can be and how soothing and transformative and like just to value them properly. That's what it's all about.

• 35:07Tig Notaro?

  I mean, my mind was so blown after those days there that I was like, you know, I, I'm never excited to speak and kind of.

• 35:19Tig Notaro?

  Popular terms, you know, the like, I'm here for this and you know, whatever. But like, after that happened, I was like, man, am I here for the surprises of life? What happened under that roof was one of the biggest surprises of life. And, um, and it was, yeah, just one of the most beautiful experiences. I think every single person that walked into that house and walked out of that house just stunned with, um, beauty. And it's all for the love of Andrea Gibson and Meg Faley,

• 35:58Tig Notaro?

  who again is a beautiful person and poet and human being, just, which is also a person. But, um, anyway, I'm just, I'm here for the surprises of life. I'm, I'm so here. And I know we've all experienced those. And are they not the most glorious?

• 36:21Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 36:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 36:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yes. For sure. Transformative, like you said.

• 36:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 36:29Tig Notaro?

  So.

• 36:31Mae Martin?

  We've tried to pick a question here that was sort of on, on theme.

• 36:38Mae Martin?

  We're, we're transition, we're to transition.

• 36:40Tig Notaro?

  What if we were like, our question asker wants to know what our favorite food is?

• 36:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 36:52Fortune Feimster?

  We'll stay on theme. Today is all in honor of Andrea.

• 36:57Fortune Feimster?

  Today's question asker is Emmy nominated actress, comedian and writer, who starred as Louise on Bob's Burgers, Carol on The Last Man on Earth, the guide in What We Do in the Shadows and so much more. She is delightful. She has a new podcast called The Extraordinarians. Christian Schaal is asking today's question.

• 37:20Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 37:21Speaker 05

  Hi, Fortune. Hi, Dig. Hi, May. My question for all you handsome folks is.

• 37:32Speaker 05

  Is there an afterlife? It's just like off the top of my head.

• 37:39Mae Martin?

  Just off the top of my head.

• 37:40Tig Notaro?

  Can I tell you what is so crazy? That ties us all together perfectly as I was just recalling. Kristin is from Colorado, too.

• 37:51Mae Martin?

  Oh, no way.

• 37:51Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't realize that.

• 37:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's perfect. I love Kristin.

• 37:57Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, she's great. So funny, so unique.

• 38:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. There's nobody, nobody like her.

• 38:03Fortune Feimster?

  No, and that voice, I mean, you know, people are obsessed with Bob's Burgers and she is such a vital part of that show.

• 38:11Mae Martin?

  We've had some good voices on the pod and Kristin's up there. You know, we've had Cyndi Lauper. We've had Arnold. We've had some iconic, iconic voices.

• 38:23Tig Notaro?

  Guys, we've had Andrea Gibson on the pod.

• 38:25Mae Martin?

  We've had Andrea Gibson on the pod.

• 38:27Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:28Mae Martin?

  Asking about flirting, I think.

• 38:31Tig Notaro?

  I don't remember. Flirting?

• 38:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 38:36Mae Martin?

  Is there an afterlife? Well, I mean, I, I feel like, to me, I'm sure there's something and I hope, I kind of hope it's nothing I've ever heard of or imagined. Like, I hope it's none of the things that we've dreamed up and it's so beyond all of that, but I'm always excited when like science starts to bridge that gap between spirituality. So like I find it soothing knowing that energy can't be destroyed and that it goes somewhere like, so I just hope that there's, there's something like being reabsorbed into wherever you were before you came. That's what I hope.

• 39:18Tig Notaro?

  So yes or no?

• 39:20Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna go.

• 39:23Mae Martin?

  It's like, oh, yes, I, but I don't know about it, it being a place. I think that's a state.

• 39:30Fortune Feimster?

  Like a spirit, like you're just kind of all, all around.

• 39:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. And I love all those things, you know, about people who've had near death experiences and they describe this feeling of total love and, and euphoria and, and like perspective and having all the answers. That sounds pretty good to me.

• 39:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 39:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah. What do you guys think?

• 39:56Fortune Feimster?

  I, I believe in an afterlife. I mean, I don't know that I like, think of it in terms of like, how they've portrayed it in movies. Like you show up to the gates and everyone's like hanging around in a robe. Um, but-

• 40:11Tig Notaro?

  Wouldn't that be amazing though, if that is exactly what it was?

• 40:14Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 40:15Fortune Feimster?

  Like a spa day?

• 40:17Mae Martin?

  I do have this nagging fear that it's gonna be like, fucking exactly.

• 40:25Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I just, I, I guess what makes me want to believe is because of, I've talked about before, my grandmother. I just want, I, I just feel her-

• 40:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 40:38Fortune Feimster?

  So much around me that like, it has to be something. I don't know, like May's saying, what it looks like, but it is an energy. Um, and it could just be that's me making myself feel better. But I, there's so many things that have happened where I have asked my, I kinda like, when in hard times, especially this year, the last, you know, this, this whole year, actually.

• 41:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 41:08Fortune Feimster?

  I have summoned my grandmother more than ever in guidance and answers. And I will tell you some of the things that have happened right after have been like, holy crap. She answered very clearly right away in some really big, specific ways. And I was just like, I mean, she has to be with me because that, there are several things and that's just like, otherwise it's some crazy coincidences. But those are the things that make me feel like there is something more. And also, again, like hearing people's, I haven't seen a ghost, yeah, ghosts.

• 41:52Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but hearing other people's, like, very clear, vivid experiences and make me go, well, there's something, there's something.

• 42:01Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:02Fortune Feimster?

  Cause that, that, so many people have seen something or felt something that it's like, that can't be a, an accident.

• 42:09Mae Martin?

  I'm open to it all and, and- If you've ever, you were saying, like, you feel like you're on on mushrooms, Tig.

• 42:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 42:16Mae Martin?

  I think part of that comes from, not to, and I'm not advocating strong psychedelic cues, but like, the thing that is unanimously reported with those experiences and that I've felt is like the illusion that we're separate kind of dissolves. And you feel the real truth of that connectedness and like the like of source energy or whatever. And so I gotta believe that that's that's part of it. Yeah. What do you feel, Tig?

• 42:47Tig Notaro?

  I don't believe any of it.

• 42:50Tig Notaro?

  No, you know, I was just sitting here thinking about, I mean, since we were so deep diving on Andrea, and again, I'm very thankful for that time that we did deep dive. And believe me, we could have gone deeper and longer, but um, you know, I think about what Andrea was saying of like, why didn't anybody tell us that we're reincarnated into the people that we love that are still alive. And

• 43:26Tig Notaro?

  and I think more than an afterlife.

• 43:32Tig Notaro?

  I just, this is where it's hard for me to finish my sentences because I have these different feelings that and ideas, but I can feel that more. You know, with the energy

• 43:50Tig Notaro?

  going some places into us right now, like your grandmother is in you and Andrea is walking with me as I'm crying down the dirt.

• 44:05Tig Notaro?

  But um, yeah, I mean, is that afterlife of?

• 44:11Tig Notaro?

  I guess that's a version of it, but I, I really don't know. I don't know if it's Andrea's energy or if, if it's Andrea's just thoughts that are guiding me. And, and, and to go back to the afterlife poem, it's the first thing I've heard or read that has felt so comforting and so much like a guide and like, I just feel carried right now by Andrea. I know so many people in their life do. And, um, and if that's the afterlife. And if I'm wrong, if there's, if there's pearly gates and robes and I hope so much.

• 44:56Fortune Feimster?

  They want a bonus for you, right?

• 44:57Tig Notaro?

  My gosh, if Andrea's in a robe.

• 45:01Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 45:01Tig Notaro?

  Right now.

• 45:03Mae Martin?

  You know, you know what I sometimes feel like, because people always talk about like a, like peace and, you know, you're elevated beyond the kind of minor troubles of this human experience and stuff. And I'm like, I hope I don't, I hope there's some drama as well. Cause like, I, I would, I think.

• 45:24Fortune Feimster?

  Or you have to answer it all your shit all of a sudden?

• 45:27Mae Martin?

  Well, just like if it was all peaceful all the time, like I hope there's still a bit of spice.

• 45:33Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, like some cattiness amongst the.

• 45:36Mae Martin?

  Some flirting, some like highs and lows, you know, because the lows are a part of it too.

• 45:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 45:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:43Tig Notaro?

  Well, there also has to be, you know, if, if that is happening, you know, I'm thinking about if people in the afterlife are, are looking over us and they're, they're seeing things, there has to be upsetting moments or funny moments. And, um, and so there's waves that will be made in that way. And I, I had this moment that I was mortified by yesterday.

• 46:10Tig Notaro?

  My, I had these friends, my childhood friends come in town.

• 46:15Tig Notaro?

  Meghan and Kristen and we had all taken a picture and it was such a great picture of me and Kristen and Meghan and Stephanie, but in the background was a porta potty. And, um, and so I asked my assistant to remove the porta potty from the picture. Uh, and so I sent the new picture to, I thought my friend Meghan, but I sent it to Meg and Andrea. Yesterday.

• 46:44Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my God.

• 46:45Tig Notaro?

  And I just sent a picture and I said, I had my assistant remove the porta potty.

• 46:50Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my God. And sent it to Andrea twice?

• 46:53Tig Notaro?

  Sent it to Andrea and, and to Meg.

• 46:56Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, and Andrea.

• 46:57Tig Notaro?

  And Andrea. I sent it to both of them. And then I saw immediately and I was like, oh my, even though I know Meg so well, I was still like, oh God, oh God, oh God, because like, like Meg's not in the mood to see Andrea's name pop up on the phone. Like that is so confusing. And so I just was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I, I, I don't know how this happened. It took me a second to realize it was the Meg and Meghan thing.

• 47:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 47:25Tig Notaro?

  And then, um, Meg wrote back, I love you. Um, this is no doubt making Andrea laugh as it did me. So please don't worry.

• 47:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 47:38Tig Notaro?

  And I, but I was truly like, oh my, and this is why Stephanie at our house is like, you're not allowed to press buttons.

• 47:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 47:47Tig Notaro?

  I, I'm just like, I send things on wrong text threads, non-stop.

• 47:54Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my God.

• 47:55Tig Notaro?

  Non-stop. And I did that yesterday. I was like, God.

• 47:59Fortune Feimster?

  I have the porta potty removed. This is also hilarious.

• 48:03Tig Notaro?

  And then the, the whole thing, that it like, it went to Meg and Andrea and a porta potty. But, and it goes back to like Andrea and Meg, that everything's so precious to them, but nothing is, you know? But I knew there's a chance it could have leveled Meg, but thankfully she was like, oh my God, this is hilarious. And Andrea is so deeply.

• 48:29Tig Notaro?

  Laughing at this.

• 48:30Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God. I don't know. I think with the afterlife, my kind of thought is like, and it's so removed from like religious stuff when I say this, because that's a whole other ballgame.

• 48:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:41Fortune Feimster?

  With the afterlife, you're kind of like, what is the harm in having hope? That you see a loved one again, you know?

• 48:49Tig Notaro?

  Sure.

• 48:50Fortune Feimster?

  If that, if, if, who knows? But if all it does is make us feel better.

• 48:55Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 48:56Fortune Feimster?

  That it helps in, even in a tiny way with our grief, then great.

• 49:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 49:04Fortune Feimster?

  You know, like grief is so hard and devastating and to lose someone you love and so desperately want to see again. If you, if it makes you feel better that one day you will, good, then that's helping you through that grief. And that's just kind of how I look at it. And so I think it's different for everybody.

• 49:28Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 49:28Mae Martin?

  There are so many things that, um, we can't see with our eyes, but we know to like, love is so ephemeral. We can't see it or like quantify it, but you feel it so profoundly. Wifi is all around us and it's real. And yeah, like, you know what I mean? There's no reason why like.

• 49:46Tig Notaro?

  May you're gonna make me cry.

• 49:49Mae Martin?

  Wifi is real, man.

• 49:53Fortune Feimster?

  That's really touching to dig deep today.

• 49:55Tig Notaro?

  This episode's already been a wrecker.

• 49:58Mae Martin?

  Uh.

• 49:59Tig Notaro?

  And now to think of the wifi.

• 50:03Tig Notaro?

  But yeah, you know, I, I, I hear you both and, um, and I agree. It's like, what's the harm in that?

• 50:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 50:12Tig Notaro?

  God, I hope you see your grandmother again.

• 50:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 50:15Tig Notaro?

  And how lucky that you feel guided by her.

• 50:19Fortune Feimster?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 50:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 50:21Fortune Feimster?

  And it, yeah, if it's just like helping me make better decisions, if it's helping me feel peace, if it's helping me get through sad, a sad day, then I'll take it, you know?

• 50:31Mae Martin?

  And also like culturally, we are, we never talk about death or everybody's, you know? And so to even just as a fan of Andrea, watch this and be confronted with it like that, it's, um, it's so powerful and helpful and it makes. Me wanna like, I think about, uh, remember when David Bowie was dying and he made Lazarus that album? It just makes me wanna leave funny notes behind paintings for, to make people laugh. You know, and like,

• 51:02Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 51:02Mae Martin?

  The more you can sit with it and be okay with it, the more you can, um, curate it in the way that you want, I guess.

• 51:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you can create your own afterlife.

• 51:12Mae Martin?

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 51:13Fortune Feimster?

  Definitely, seeing Andrea too, like with these poems and the words and the depth, it makes you wanna like, uh, not be so scared to share feelings, to tell people how you feel, to take chances, to, you know, like even going through the, this heartbreak that I've experienced this year, like, I don't wanna shut myself off,

• 51:43Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:44Fortune Feimster?

  Or close my heart, you know, like, uh, seeing that depth and the facing of these emotions and not being afraid to share emotions. It definitely made me go, just freaking live life and take some swings.

• 52:01Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:01Fortune Feimster?

  Who cares, you know?

• 52:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:04Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely.

• 52:06Mae Martin?

  Was it like some interview with Ethan Hawke, maybe where he was talking about poetry and the value of it? Or how it's interesting that we always reach for it, like when someone gets married or when someone passes away, like, these are the moments where we find poetry helpful and, um, yeah, I thought that was cool.

• 52:27Tig Notaro?

  That's nice.

• 52:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Tig Notaro?

  I was, uh, when I was talking to our friend Steph yesterday, cause she's still with Meg and, and she was like,

• 52:40Tig Notaro?

  she said that, um, Andrea wore hoodies all the time and Meg's gonna give Andrea's friends different hoodies of, of theirs.

• 52:50Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:51Tig Notaro?

  And I was like, oh, that's so great. And, you know, I just wasn't assuming I was gonna get a hoodie or anything. I didn't know how many hoodies there were. And Steph goes, oh yeah, and, and you're getting the hoodie that apparently every time Andrea wore it, they said, what do you think Tig would say if she saw me in this hoodie? And I was like, I cannot wait. To get this hoodie. Like, I cannot wait to see what this hoodie is. I cannot wait.

• 53:22Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 53:23Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, I cannot wait. Anyway.

• 53:26Mae Martin?

  Well, should we, should we hear what Kristen's answer is?

• 53:28Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 53:30Speaker 05

  If I were gonna answer that, and I guess I am, I would say that yes, there is. Because, um, well, I, I, no one's been, there's no proof that there isn't. Hmm? No proof that there is, no proof that there isn't. But there is something about the fact that we have these imaginations that I like to think is a little gift, like, a little e-vite from, from like, someone, someone up there just like, tickle, tickle, tickle. Just like, you know, um, there's somewhere else to go.

• 54:13Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, a little tickle, tickle, tickle.

• 54:15Tig Notaro?

  Classic, classic, Kristen.

• 54:17Fortune Feimster?

  When we feel a little tickle, tickle, tickles, we know what that is.

• 54:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:20Tig Notaro?

  I just saw Kristen at a party and we had such a nice conversation and it ventured into the religious world.

• 54:29Mae Martin?

  Spiritual realm.

• 54:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. So it's, it's perfect that this is her question.

• 54:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 54:35Fortune Feimster?

  Well, thank you for, um, you know, sharing with us. I know this is not an easy week. That's not an easy thing to talk about.

• 54:43Mae Martin?

  Well, we'll, we'll cut all that out, right? Everything takes out about Andrea?

• 54:47Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely. That needs to go.

• 54:51Tig Notaro?

  It'll just be tickle, tickle, tickle.

• 54:53Fortune Feimster?

  Tickle, tickle, tickle.

• 54:55Tig Notaro?

  But, uh, yeah, no.

• 54:57Mae Martin?

  Thank you so much.

• 54:59Tig Notaro?

  Thank you all for, uh, your support and everybody who loves and appreciates Andrea. Thank you. Um, and dig more into their poetry and Meg's poetry and, and don't wait for a funeral or, uh, any of those moments of life. Check it out and don't wait for those moments to say your appreciation.

• 55:25Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:26Tig Notaro?

  To share your appreciation for people.

• 55:28Fortune Feimster?

  One hundred percent.

• 55:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 55:31Fortune Feimster?

  Say the thing that you want to say.

• 55:33Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 55:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 55:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Throw the party now.

• 55:38Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 55:39Mae Martin?

  Throw the party tonight.

• 55:41Tig Notaro?

  Throw it tonight. Get in touch if you let us know that you threw a party tonight.

• 55:45Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 55:46Tig Notaro?

  Uh, if this is your first time listening to Handsome, this is not a typical episode.

• 55:52Fortune Feimster?

  We met a couple, we met a couple this summer that have been deeper.

• 55:55Tig Notaro?

  I know. I know. May, it's your turn next.

• 55:59Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, God. I know, May, you better, you better get emotional soon.

• 56:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:04Mae Martin?

  I've been crying for the past hour.

• 56:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. But, um, yeah, if, if this or any other episode speaks to you, you, you really enjoyed it, share it with a friend and let's build our community and, um, subscribe to the podcast and, um, like and review and, uh, get our merch, walk around with our little Handsome merch and, uh, does anybody have anything coming up?

• 56:30Mae Martin?

  I don't really. I'm, uh, I'm chilling for August, but, um, my show Wayward comes out in September, so I'm getting excited for that. Yeah. And check out, uh, my music on Spotify or, um, or Feel Good on Netflix.

• 56:44Tig Notaro?

  Hmm. Amazing.

• 56:46Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I'm actually performing in Iceland, uh, Friday, August 8th in Reykjavik. Uh, so if there happen to be any Handsome listeners out there, I'd love to see you. Uh, then Spokane in a couple of weeks and, um, then I start a lot of new dates in San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, DC, Boston, Mobile, New Orleans, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Chicago, tons of places. So, uh, come see me, uh, on tour, fortunefeamster.com.

• 57:18Tig Notaro?

  And I will be, um, in West Hampton Beach, New York, August 17th. Dynasty Typewriter, September 21st, the Beauregard Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi, September 27th, back at Dynasty, October 4th, Largo, Largo, October 17th, and the road goes on forever. I'll be back up in Toronto. But yeah, all local dates in LA and Toronto are, you know, new material, fumble. Going through it all. So come on out and I don't know until next time. Keep it handsome.

• 58:02Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 58:17Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast.

• 58:23Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum podcast.

• 58:25Speaker 05

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris. And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars

• 59:07Speaker 05

  like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.