Jared Freid Is Still on His Parents’ Family Plan | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series presented by Fanduel. Andrew Santino sits down with comedian Jared Freid to talk about getting older, dating, family, relationships, and the strange realization that you can be a full-grown adult and somehow still be a child the second you're around your parents. Jared's brand-new Netflix special, The Family Plan, is out now, digging into his relationship with his Boomer parents, family vacations, body issues, and the fact that yes — at 41 years old, he's still on the family cell phone plan. Jared is also the host of The JTrain Podcast and co-host of U Up?, where he's spent years diving headfirst into the insanity of modern dating, relationships, apps, breakups, and all the other stuff we're apparently supposed to have figured out by now. Watch Jared Freid: The Family Plan on Netflix:https://www.netflix.com/title/82672875 Check out Jared's tour dates and more:https://jaredfreid.com Listen to The JTrain Podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jtrain-podcast/id672249013 Follow Jared Freid:https://www.instagram.com/jaredfreid Follow Andrew Santino:https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Follow Whiskey Ginger:https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #JaredFreid #TheFamilyPlan ================================================= This episode is sponsored by: FANDUEL Get ready for big games, bigger Saturdays, and your most rewarding season ever. only on FanDuel. http://fanduel.com/whiskey LIQUID IV USE PROMO CODE: 2026WG FOR 20% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER http://liquidiv.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Andrew Santino?

  Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series presented by FanDuel. Hey, Whiskey Ginger fans, I am doing one more glorious show. I'll be in Mesa, Arizona, at Sloane Park, where my glorious Chicago Cubs play in the spring training of their baseball season with Dave Chappelle. Do you know David Chappelle? I'll be opening for him. He's somewhat known in the stand-up community. Dave Chappelle and I on October 18th, please come see me in Mesa, Arizona, where my Chicago Cubbies spring train. I love you. I can't wait to see you out there. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets or fastballcomedy.com. Either way, andrewsantino.com for those tickets. I'll see you there, Mesa.

• 1:07Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:32Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I stand up for him. My guest will be meeting him once again today. It's Jared Freed.

• 1:38Speaker 04

  A pleasure to be here.

• 1:39Andrew Santino?

  So good, man. All right, talk that talk about me last night. We ran into each other at the store.

• 1:43Speaker 04

  I watch you. I'm fascinated by you.

• 1:45Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 1:45Speaker 04

  I just, you're Ferris Bueller, dude. You're Ferris Bueller. You get along with the jocks, the dweebs, the losers, the nerds. You, I mean, you talk, you hang with Marin and Rogan.

• 1:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's pretty cool.

• 1:59Speaker 04

  I just, I was thinking about it. I was like, I don't have that. I don't have that ability. Like, when you were in high school, did you get along with, like, people older? Were you the guy that, like, hey, the juniors are having a party and you're like a freshman?

• 2:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was, yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's you. I, I, I was like, I was like, this guy gets along with everybody. It's not a comedian's normal.

• 2:19Andrew Santino?

  I get along, okay, so I was, well, I was a...

• 2:22Speaker 04

  Because I like you and I, when we, before we met, sorry to interrupt.

• 2:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  I was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know your deal. And then I met you. I was like, that guy, great guy. Like, totally what you see is what you get. And a lot of people, you don't get that.

• 2:35Andrew Santino?

  That's true. A lot of it's you don't see. Well, for me, I was always, I was a, I like drugs and partying, but I also like sports. So in high school, my best friend was the kid I smoked the most pot with in ditch school.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  Right.

• 2:48Andrew Santino?

  And then I would also go to basketball. You know what I mean? Like, I, two things existed for...

• 2:52Speaker 04

  It's hard to, it's hard to, like, parent that into your kid. You would want to parent your kid.

• 2:57Andrew Santino?

  To do drugs and do sports?

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:01Speaker 04

  But that mix, like, never, you can never, it's tough to even that out. Like, you can't aspire to that, because you'll be like, you'll have a fuck-up kid and people will be like, what happened? You'll be like, I tried to get the mix and like...

• 3:13Andrew Santino?

  I was always a little bit of both. I love, I love sports so much, but I also had the artsy, artsy thing inside of me that I, that I really, really like. I'm like a, I'm like a Josh Hartnett movie from like 2006.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. And you're not being, like, this isn't like you being cocky.

• 3:32Andrew Santino?

  No, that's just who I am. I like drugs and sports.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  Right. That should be merch.

• 3:36Andrew Santino?

  I like drugs and sports.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  I like drugs and sports. Well, just a little bit of each. You're not crazy about either.

• 3:41Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  Usually someone who's like, I like drugs and sports, is a liar. Like, they're a grifter.

• 3:46Andrew Santino?

  No, I like drugs.

• 3:46Speaker 04

  You're not doing that. I can tell that from you. And because I, when I like, when I sniff grift, that's my merch.

• 3:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you sniff grift.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  I sniff grift. I can sniff grift better than anyone. I can't, I turn off. I turn, I go into my turtle shell. I'm like, I can't do it. And there's so much grift that I sniff.

• 4:08Andrew Santino?

  Give me some, give me some grift that you sniff.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  Sometimes I just get like, I've had, you know, especially because I do a dating advice podcast, where I'm being honest and I'm not being grifty. So I, I look like a douche. Like, every time I talk about dating from the male point of view, it's an icky thing to talk about.

• 4:26Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Because it involves sex, it involves looks, it involves not really, you know, you're not the hero. You know, like, the hero is the guy who gets married and falls in love. And nine out of 10 times, it's, ah, we dated and I wasn't sure. And now you're just, like, women hate a guy who can't make a decision. And that's most guys.

• 4:45Andrew Santino?

  That's everybody.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. And so I, I get put in a position. So then when I see the people that are like men being like, yo, man, I'm just like, I can't find a date. And this is like the hot dude. I'm like, stop it. Stop it.

• 4:59Andrew Santino?

  You call, you call grift. You sniff the grift.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  I sniff the grift. So, so back to you. I, I just, I'm like watching you with Marin last night and you're like making fun of his shoes, which deservedly so. They were horrific. And I, they, nobody, and Marin, like, I don't know him. He seemed like a really gentle, nice guy. Like, I liked his presence. And then you're like talking about like, yeah, back in the day, you, you know, Rogan tips like a million dollars to the waist. I'm like, this guy, like Marin and Rogan hate each other and you're the glue in between.

• 5:34Andrew Santino?

  Not anymore. They've made up.

• 5:35Speaker 04

  They made up?

• 5:36Andrew Santino?

  Apparently publicly, they've made up. Yeah. And we were, we were a puzzle piece to that because we had said, I had talked to Mark for, you know, a long time about, I didn't ever understood this hate. Like, you can disagree with each other politically, socially, whatever your disagreements are. But I think their, their beef goes far back to like the Boston day, like way old school.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  Sure, sure.

• 5:54Andrew Santino?

  So younger guys like us have no idea.

• 5:56Speaker 04

  There's a lot of, there's roots in that tree.

• 5:58Andrew Santino?

  There's so much baggage to that. Yeah, it's crazy. That's why whenever somebody criticizes it from a level at, at our younger, you know, we're close in age. I'm a little bit older. But like, when our generation criticized, I'm always like, you have no idea what these guys lived through. Like, that's like saying, I've known, I've known Tony Hinchcliffe since he was, when he was a door guy. You know, like, we know people from back that people have no frame of reference currently to.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  No.

• 6:23Andrew Santino?

  And it shapes your relationships now.

• 6:24Speaker 04

  Totally. And it was a different relationship because we're more careful. Like, even me being like, I can sniff the grift. Like, we have cameras on at all time. We're taping every conversation. You know, like, we're doing this. Like, there's someone watching, listening. You know, they were just like, if they hated someone, it was hat out. Like, there wasn't like a fear of like, you know, the TikTok of like, you won't believe how it went down. Like, this like, this like guy on Reddit being like, I heard. You know, so they really told each other what they thought of one another. I would assume.

• 6:56Andrew Santino?

  And then there was no evidence to back, like, I think Ari, I think it was a rumor that Ari pooped in someone's car when they got into a fight. And you're like, man, where's the camera on that? I do want to see you pooping in a car.

• 7:06Speaker 04

  Yeah. And any Ari rumor is believable.

• 7:09Andrew Santino?

  It's all true. It's all true.

• 7:12Speaker 04

  He's in that kind of zone where you go, yeah, okay, I'm sure he's shitting all four of the seats.

• 7:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. No grift on him, by the way. That's real.

• 7:19Speaker 04

  No grift on Ari. That's another no grift.

• 7:21Andrew Santino?

  What you see is what you get out of Ari. He'll tell you.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  I agree. I, I...

• 7:24Andrew Santino?

  He'll tell you.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  Those are the comedians I like the most. Like, and, you know, it's hard to be successful and no grift.

• 7:31Andrew Santino?

  Hard to be successful with no grift. Yeah.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  You know, that's why I'm looking at you and I'm like, I'm, you know, that's why the Ferris Bueller thing. I'm like...

• 7:38Andrew Santino?

  I like that. That's a great, I'll take it.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  You should play an adult, like, an older Ferris. Like, I think, I would say younger, but I am sorry.

• 7:46Andrew Santino?

  Ferris was older too, though. The fact that they pretended he was in high school. You're like, isn't that kid 25 years old?

• 7:50Speaker 04

  Right. And Sloane Peterson being a high school student, you're like, don't fuck with us like that. You know, like, come on. We don't want to, you know, we don't want to be assholes here.

• 7:59Andrew Santino?

  Cameron, I think, look up the ages of how old they were when they shot that.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  Cameron, that car, the whole movie is just like...

• 8:05Andrew Santino?

  Perfect.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  It's perfect. It is a, like, it is a...

• 8:08Andrew Santino?

  Who was the sausage king from Chicago? Do you remember the name? Come on, dude. You're Jewish, right?

• 8:13Speaker 04

  I am. Hmm. Was it an all-beef sausage?

• 8:16Andrew Santino?

  It was a very Jewish name. Who was the sausage king from Chicago?

• 8:20Speaker 04

  This is crushing me because I want to know it so bad.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  I'll give you the initials. A F.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  A F. Alan Freed? No. Was he my uncle?

• 8:29Andrew Santino?

  Abe Froman.

• 8:30Speaker 04

  Abe Froman.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  Hey, now I'm the grifter. I'm acting like I know this movie. Yeah, that was a grift out.

• 8:37Speaker 05

  I was gonna say, do we wanna guess what, who was oldest out of Cameron, Sloan, and Ferris?

• 8:42Andrew Santino?

  I think, I think.

• 8:43Speaker 04

  Cameron was oldest.

• 8:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I think Cameron was the oldest, and then I think it was Cameron, then Matthew, then Sloan. I don't know Sloan's real name.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  Sloan, yeah, what was her like next movie? Like, she, nowadays, we were talking about the girl from Obsession, she's now Rogue.

• 8:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, we talked about that last night.

• 8:59Speaker 04

  We were talking about that last night, and it's like, nowadays Sloan goes on the Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and you're like, we gotta put her in everything.

• 9:05Andrew Santino?

  She's a Marvel girl now. That's where, if Sloan was today, she would immediately be a part of the Marvel Universe, or the, you know, like,

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Right.

• 9:13Andrew Santino?

  She'd be a, a franchise.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  She's Jean Grey, you know, that she, yeah.

• 9:16Andrew Santino?

  She'd be a franchise.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Because.

• 9:18Andrew Santino?

  What is it?

• 9:19Speaker 05

  The oldest is Cameron, who was twenty-nine.

• 9:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, high school, twenty-nine. The thirty-year-old guy in high school.

• 9:25Speaker 05

  Matthew Broderick was twenty-three.

• 9:27Andrew Santino?

  I was right, I was right.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 9:29Andrew Santino?

  One, two, three.

• 9:29Speaker 05

  Mia Sara, who played Sloan, was eighteen.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Oh, my god. And she didn't look eighteen, I mean, she looked like an adult woman, that, that's.

• 9:38Andrew Santino?

  But back then, they all looked, like, I remember watching an interview, cuz I was obsessed with Carson when I was a little kid. My mom would say, like, I'd watch it, but I didn't understand it, but I like, I liked the rhythm of Late Night for some reason.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  Well, sometimes, when you're that age, or when you're younger, you like, just people, especially, I think a lot of comics, if you become, you like people being funny.

• 9:57Andrew Santino?

  I just like, yeah, I like the rhythm of the show.

• 9:59Speaker 04

  Right.

• 9:59Andrew Santino?

  There's something about it that I like.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Like, I watched Seinfeld, you know, I'm watching Seinfeld, and I'm like, I just like that I'm like, in here, you know, watching this. I just like that I'm here, you know, like.

• 10:09Andrew Santino?

  It is true, you're like embedded inside of it.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:11Andrew Santino?

  And the rhythm of Carson was always very kind of frenetic and fun, and Late Night kinda diverted from that, which is, that's why I started to hate Late Night, cuz I was like, what happened to this kinda loose, awkward, Letterman did it the best.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Well, their podcast.

• 10:23Andrew Santino?

  Well, Letterman did it the best, though, he was awkward and weird and would put people, when he was younger, young Letterman was incredible. And then he kinda got a little bit more packaged, but he was still, Letterman's still the king. But, um, I watched a Carson clip pop up with Carson and, um, Rickles. And he's like, how old are you? We're, we're close to the same age.

• 10:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:43Andrew Santino?

  And I'm looking at these men, remembering in my mind, I'm like, they're seventy years old.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  Right.

• 10:48Andrew Santino?

  But they were thirty-eight or something like that, look at that clip, it's like, they both like.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  There's so much of that, George Costanza.

• 10:55Andrew Santino?

  You're like, how, I thought you were a thousand years old when I was a kid.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Well, the Golden Girls, they all.

• 11:00Andrew Santino?

  They were like forty-five.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, they were like, we were like the Golden Girls age.

• 11:04Andrew Santino?

  We are, I know, it's so weird.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  And we were like, oh, they're talking about sex, and it's like, yeah, they were like, you know.

• 11:10Andrew Santino?

  Fifty.

• 11:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, they were like, totally what they should be doing, like.

• 11:12Andrew Santino?

  That Rickles clip threw my, blew my mind, cuz I was like, they were, you know, and that was the old joke that he goes, uh, he says, you know, God, God said, make him successful and make him struggle, you know, that old, it's like a famous clip. But he's like thirty-seven or thirty-eight, and you're like, how are these guys younger than me now?

• 11:30Speaker 04

  What do you think it is? Is it skincare, hair care, is it body care, is it the way we dress?

• 11:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, it's, it's, we're in 4K, back then, too, everything was in such bad, like, you didn't see these people in person. So you saw them through the lens of, of cameras and TV, and it was so grainy, you didn't, you really didn't know how old people looked.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  You think that's it?

• 11:52Andrew Santino?

  I think it was a part of it, yeah, because, and they also dressed so much older, look, we dress like children.

• 11:57Speaker 05

  It's also cigarettes and hydration, no one drank water back then.

• 12:00Andrew Santino?

  God bless, you don't need water.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  No.

• 12:01Andrew Santino?

  You don't need, no one needs water.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  No.

• 12:03Andrew Santino?

  But look how we dress, this is, it's proper, you're wearing pants and a shirt.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  No, I know.

• 12:07Andrew Santino?

  But like, guys in, I'm forty-three in a couple of months, a forty-three-year-old man back then was wearing suits.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  And his belt was above his navel.

• 12:16Andrew Santino?

  It was at his tits.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:17Andrew Santino?

  It was right at his tits, yeah. You remember that, when you saw your dad putting on a titty belt?

• 12:21Speaker 04

  Oh, every day.

• 12:22Andrew Santino?

  Your dad changing in the morning in his fucking pant, and he had a pants line, almost to his tits, like, all the way up here.

• 12:27Speaker 04

  Right at his nipples.

• 12:28Andrew Santino?

  It was unbelievable.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, titty belt, great merch. Another, titty belt, we're just cracking out merch.

• 12:34Andrew Santino?

  I like drugs and sports.

• 12:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:36Andrew Santino?

  But, what is it?

• 12:37Speaker 05

  It's also stylistic, though, did you see the pictures of people editing George Costanza, if he was like a bald thirty-year-old?

• 12:42Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, have you seen this?

• 12:44Speaker 04

  I've seen that, where it's like, he's like at the statham cut.

• 12:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he would've gone with, again, like, yeah, the, he would've gone with a shaved head, he wouldn't wear that hair out.

• 12:53Andrew Santino?

  For sure.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  But now, if you saw a guy with that hair out, like, at a comedy club, that was like going on stage, you'd be like, what's this guy's deal?

• 12:58Andrew Santino?

  Well, he's gonna, he's gonna kill.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's gonna be, yo, this guy knows some shit, this guy's doing something, yeah.

• 13:03Andrew Santino?

  I do think, yes, it's style, fashion, and it's also, they did age him, because he's supposed to be Larry, right? And Larry, like, has eternally looked like an old man.

• 13:12Speaker 04

  Right.

• 13:13Andrew Santino?

  So like, even when you saw young Larry, you were like, was this guy fifty?

• 13:16Speaker 04

  I know, right, and even now, you go, he just hasn't changed the look.

• 13:20Andrew Santino?

  He's looked the same for twenty-five years, it's incredible.

• 13:22Speaker 04

  Wouldn't you think, like, and, and he, you know, it's weird if you just give in to what you are, it is such like a lesson for life.

• 13:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  You know, it's like, I mean, you're a golfer, I'm trying to learn golf, but it's like, you do, in golf, you have to do the opposite, like, of what you think.

• 13:37Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  It's like, hit the ball from the inside to make it go straight, you know, like, that type of shit, like, it's kinda the same thing with Larry David, where he goes, I'm just gonna go this look, and now he becomes sexier for it.

• 13:48Andrew Santino?

  Uh, for sure.

• 13:49Speaker 04

  You know, like, he gave.

• 13:50Andrew Santino?

  Chicks, chicks love him, dude.

• 13:51Speaker 04

  Chicks love, I, I hate someone who says I'm like Larry David.

• 13:56Andrew Santino?

  That's just so annoying.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  I hate that, so it is, I've seen that on a T-shirt, it's like the worst personality T-shirt, that's like.

• 14:03Andrew Santino?

  Seen it on like a Instagram profile, where someone's like, the female Larry David.

• 14:07Speaker 04

  Get outta here.

• 14:09Andrew Santino?

  Burn it to the ground.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  The minute you say it, it ain't true.

• 14:13Andrew Santino?

  He sniffed the grift.

• 14:14Speaker 04

  The sniff the grift, I gotcha.

• 14:15Andrew Santino?

  I hate, I do hate that, when someone compares themselves to anybody in that realm, but especially like Larry, people, people, people, for some reason, because he's so affable, even though he's a grump.

• 14:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:27Andrew Santino?

  He's like a lovable grump, people are like, that's me, I'm like that.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  No, no, no, he earned it, you know, part of his lovability is that he made the greatest show of all time.

• 14:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  Like, you had, there was earned lovability there, like, you can't just be like, you can't just attain, you know, this genius that.

• 14:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're not allowed to manufacture that, that has to be like, that's why it's organic, that's why he's so funny at it. Now, Seinfeld, on the other hand, gets all the credit for that show, cuz his name is stamped on it, but, I've said it once, I'll say it again, that's Larry David's show.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  Well, who would you, I used to think about this when I started comedy, it's like, what would you wanna be? Seinfeld ends, okay, it's like nineteen ninety-nine when Seinfeld ends, you're Jerry Seinfeld, you're the, you're the most famous comedian alive.

• 15:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 04

  Or, you're Larry David.

• 15:12Andrew Santino?

  I'd be Larry all day.

• 15:13Speaker 04

  You're just the comedian's comedian, the guy, you know, people like us are like, well, you know, before Curb, you'd go at Larry David.

• 15:21Andrew Santino?

  I'd be Larry David a thousand times over and over, and then, to get to make, get mad at me, hot take, a better version of Seinfeld, which was Curb.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  It's a better version because it's updated.

• 15:31Andrew Santino?

  Some people just like the old sitcom format of multicam, I never liked multicam.

• 15:36Speaker 04

  Never?

• 15:37Andrew Santino?

  I thought it was, I, I, like, look, I liked it a little bit, but I wasn't like a Seinfeld stan, I didn't love multicam cuz it felt very fake. So when, when I first got to see, like, single cam come alive, I was like, this is what I like.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  Right.

• 15:51Andrew Santino?

  This feels like real-life shit, like a sing, a slice of life, and studio audience stuff was cute when we were kids, I liked the idea of it, cuz it was like, you know, shows had that rhythm that you liked, that we were talking about.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 16:03Andrew Santino?

  But then, once you see what single camera looks like, you're like, oh, oh, that's what I like, comedy-wise.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Multicam is Broadway on TV.

• 16:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's Broadway TV.

• 16:13Speaker 04

  It's Broadway on TV, and they, but I, I'm a multicam guy, like, I love a sitcom, but like, when it's done right, you're like, these, they're like little plays, like, it's little vignettes, it's like, and it's like.

• 16:23Andrew Santino?

  It's very well-done, if it's well-done, if it's done right.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  I watched the pilot, okay, I'm, I, I go back and watch all these like shows, I watched the pilot of Will and Grace the other night.

• 16:32Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 16:33Speaker 04

  That is like genius writing, like, the writing is so good, they introduced Megan Mullally's character in one sentence, you know her whole backstory.

• 16:43Andrew Santino?

  What is she's?

• 16:43Speaker 04

  One sentence, they go, she, Grace is on the phone with Will, and she goes, and Will's like, and Grace is like, my assistant's late, and he's like, isn't she like, super rich? Why don't you just fire her? And she's like, I don't know, I like her, and then Mullally walks in, and you're like, super rich woman, doesn't need this job, pain in the ass, I know everything.

• 17:03Andrew Santino?

  Perfect.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  And you're like, it, it was like, the fat was just, it was so lean, and I was watching, I was like, at awe, I was like, it's what a magic trick, you know? And I, I, when it's done well, it is awesome.

• 17:16Andrew Santino?

  No, it is, it is, it's just, it's very formatted.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:20Andrew Santino?

  Like, I would put up, I'd put up the Arrested Development pilot against literally any television pilot in the history of anything, cuz I think it's, that just shows the like strength of, like, really kinda popping in and like singling out characters, that's what I loved. When multicam, you kinda have to all be in on this, it's all very showy, so it is like a stage, it's a stage play.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  That's why those, you know, big actresses do really well on a, on a multicam, like, like, like, The Nanny, have you watched The Nanny?

• 17:49Andrew Santino?

  No, but Fran was, I mean, that's, that was like, you know.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  Well, you watch it, and you're like, as a Jewish man, I watch that, and I'm like, I'm obsessed with her.

• 17:56Andrew Santino?

  What about a Jewish woman? Do they like her as much?

• 17:58Speaker 04

  I think they would like her, they would go, that's, that's me.

• 18:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 04

  She was aspirational to Jewish women, and Jewish men alike.

• 18:04Andrew Santino?

  You say aspergery to Jewish women, is that what it was?

• 18:06Speaker 04

  A little bit, a little bit, she did not know how to control the volume of her voice.

• 18:11Andrew Santino?

  It was unbelievable.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  It, it, she was, and then the mother and the grandmother get involved, and you're like, like, I, I don't know, I, I, you watch her on that first episode, The Nanny, and you're like, and she walks in the door, you're like, she's got style, she's got grace, she's got flair.

• 18:25Andrew Santino?

  The nanny.

• 18:28Andrew Santino?

  It was, those are, they're, I get it, they're well-received shows. There's something about them that, once I learned what multicam comedy was, it was, I was obsessed. I was like, oh, this, or single cam.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:37Andrew Santino?

  I just got like embedded in it.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  It's different. It's, it's, but like King of Queens, I watched King of Queens and I'm like, love.

• 18:44Andrew Santino?

  Like everybody, those Raymond, you love that?

• 18:45Speaker 04

  Love, love.

• 18:46Andrew Santino?

  I, I can't, I just love it. I, I, I, you know, and they're all called comfort shows. Sure.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  You know, when people are like, oh, comfort shows, and they're like, and we're not making the thing that people are like, I get comforted by it, like, we're done making that?

• 18:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we are now.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Like, you know, it's, it's just not happening. There's not one.

• 19:03Andrew Santino?

  This is a comfort show for somebody.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Well, I do, I'm a podcast listener as well.

• 19:06Andrew Santino?

  It just does something different because now they feel much closer to the thing. Whereas those multicams, I don't know if the younger generation, where we were, people were huddled around the TV to watch, uh, Family Matters and Full House. I don't know if the younger generation would be the, that was the target for those shows. Who would they target now? Cause young kids, their phone has everything they need.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  Right. Now, it's not even worth figuring out.

• 19:31Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? Like, I, I, I kinda think about that and I'm like, where, where does TV go? Where does all this go? And you go, I don't know.

• 19:38Andrew Santino?

  It's still happening. It's just being curated for people on their phones, exactly what they like. It's still gonna keep going. It's just gonna be, it's more, everything, I think there's gonna be more niche, less broad. I think broad comedy is dead. I think niche comedy is alive. And your audience will be smaller, but it'll be heavy. It'll be real.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  And, and, yeah, well.

• 19:57Andrew Santino?

  Which is fine.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  It's fine. I don't know. I, I made, I made, I made a special that is like a broad for people. I'm, I'm always like, share it with your family, cause your parents will like it too.

• 20:08Andrew Santino?

  It's called Family.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  The Family Plan. Cause I'm still on my parents' cellphone plan.

• 20:12Andrew Santino?

  That's so sad. You're 38?

• 20:14Speaker 04

  Dude, don't ta, I'm 41.

• 20:16Andrew Santino?

  41?

• 20:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude. Gross. See, this is, this is the, the, I like to pay guy.

• 20:23Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on.

• 20:24Speaker 04

  This is the easy.

• 20:25Andrew Santino?

  You're 41 and you're on your parents' cellphone plan?

• 20:27Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah. And I say it, they, I, I, listen, I could pay it myself. I'm not saying I can't.

• 20:34Andrew Santino?

  No, I know you can.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  I want the women out there to know. No, I'm.

• 20:39Andrew Santino?

  I will split dinner with you.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  Ladies, I swear, medium penis. So, I mean, uh, yay. So.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 20:55Andrew Santino?

  College football Saturdays are already packed with reasons to get excited and this season, FanDuel is giving you even more. Make this your most rewarding college football season ever with FanDuel. From the first kickoff to the day, the final whistle happens at night. There are more ways to get in on every single matchup. Back your favorite team, build a same-game parlay, bet team props, or make your picks on the biggest games of the weekend. And along the way, keep an eye on the FanDuel app for even more ways to get rewarded throughout the season because when every Saturday begins another slate of games, FanDuel gives you more ways to make every week count. So get ready for big games, big Saturdays, and your most rewarding season ever, only on FanDuel. Go ahead and visit FanDuel.com/Whiskey to get started.

• 21:40Andrew Santino?

  21-plus select states for Kansas, an affiliation with Kansas Star Casino. 18-plus DCWY gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESSET, call 1-888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org/jackconnecticut. Visit mdgamblinghelp.org Maryland, visit gamblinghelplineMA.org. Call 800-327-5050 Massachusetts. Call 1-877-8HOPENY. Text HOPENY New York. Call 1-877-770-7867 Louisiana. Hey, I wanna tell you about Liquid IV. I've been drinking this stuff for a very, very long time. Far before they were a sponsor on the show. Liquid IV is fantastic. It hydrates faster than water alone, three times the electrolytes than the leading sports drink,

• 22:23Andrew Santino?

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• 23:06Andrew Santino?

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• 23:39Speaker 03

  Ginger. I like gingers.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  I, no, I, I, it is funny that you could, it's so easy to get on a high horse with, with someone on the.

• 23:48Andrew Santino?

  I get it.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  On the family plan.

• 23:50Andrew Santino?

  It's cause you connect, it's, it's a way to stay close to the parents without completely cutting the.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  Well, I was off of it and then, I'm a podcast listener, as I said, and then it was the time of like data. I was on it before. My dad goes, what the hell are you doing with all this data? I'm paying for all this data. What are you doing? You're, you're like 30 times the guy at the store told me you did 30. And I'm like, I'm, they're downloading by themselves. Like, I, I wake up and my phone is automatically downloading all these podcasts and I don't know how to turn it off. He goes, get off, get off, you're off. And then I started paying it myself. And then he calls me like five years later, he's like, so I'm at T-Mobile and it's like 50 bucks. What are you paying? And I was like, more than that. And he goes, uh, you're back.

• 24:31Andrew Santino?

  You're back. I'm back.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  I'm back, baby.

• 24:34Andrew Santino?

  That's a sitcom moment.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  There it is.

• 24:35Andrew Santino?

  He's back on the plan.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  That's right. So, no, but I, I mean, like, I'm, I want broad comedy. I'm, I'm like.

• 24:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you like it.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  I like it. I don't know, I'm, I'm soothed by, you know, the, the like, oh, there's a family that I get it and my mom's done that before.

• 24:51Andrew Santino?

  Well, you have that very, like, that's a part of your comedy too, right? You're, you've got like a very, um, your comedy is like open arms. You're not like, uh, get in or fuck off.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  No, I'm more like, look at my parents, they're fucking assholes. Aren't yours too? Like, it's all, it's, so it's a one-hour story about going to the beach with my parents.

• 25:09Andrew Santino?

  That's wild.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  The whole special.

• 25:11Andrew Santino?

  Where, what beach?

• 25:12Speaker 04

  Delray Beach.

• 25:13Andrew Santino?

  Delray Beach. That's where they live, right?

• 25:15Speaker 04

  They live in Boca, I live in Delray.

• 25:17Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 25:17Speaker 04

  I'm 25 minutes away. We're at the beach. My dad asked me how much I weigh. And it's while I'm sitting in a beach chair. And I was like so enraged by that.

• 25:26Andrew Santino?

  Is he a big guy?

• 25:26Speaker 04

  Him and I have the same body. We're tissue boxes.

• 25:28Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  You know, so we have the same shape. So it's like, I'm looking at a tissue box, he's looking at a tissue box, and he goes, how much do you weigh? And I went home and I podcasted about it. I got so mad that I went home and I did my Patreon, you know, and I'm like, that's where I tell stories about my life. And I got such a response from that. But I was like, when I do a story, when I talk about my parents, my family, I'm done with it. Like, I, I got it out of my system and then I went, I went to bed.

• 25:54Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  Next morning, I go into the kitchen, my dad goes, he listens to one of my podcasts, this one. He listens to Whiskey Ginger every week. No, he, he listens to my Coffee with J-Train with my Patreon.

• 26:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  He, I walk in the kitchen, he goes, you got it all wrong. I go, what are you talking about? He goes, Coffee with J-Train. I just wanna know how much you weigh. I'm like, are we doing this again? We had the fight again in the kitchen the next day and I, so then I go on stage, I start trying to do this story and it bombs every time. And everyone's like, your dad's an asshole.

• 26:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  And then I'm like, well, let me explain. And I had the last special come out and it, it gave me confidence. I, I think like my issue with stand-up has always been like, I just gotta be able, it's confidence. My issue with everything is confidence. I think most people's issues with everything is confidence. And like, why am I not doing this story that I really wanna tell? And it was like, uh, you know, who, you know, I don't, I wanna do well on stage. I wanna go on after, you know, last night, Jay Leno's on the fucking lineup. I wanna do well. I'm like, that's crazy, you know? So, and I was like, so I had a little more confidence. I start telling this story and I'm like, well, maybe I gotta explain my dad. And I gotta explain my, that we have the same body. And I gotta explain my mom, she pees in the ocean. And I gotta, you know, like I.

• 27:04Andrew Santino?

  She pees, pees in the ocean underwater or above the water?

• 27:06Speaker 04

  It, that's the, the bit is like, she's the most obvious ocean pier you've ever seen. Yeah, just standing there.

• 27:12Andrew Santino?

  Smart woman, though. You gotta be above the water. You can't pee underwater. For those that don't know, you'll get infections.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Well.

• 27:17Andrew Santino?

  You can't do that.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  If you wanna embarrass your family, you go above the water.

• 27:19Andrew Santino?

  I pee above the water every time.

• 27:21Speaker 04

  Do you really?

• 27:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I stand there and I'm pissing. I'll tell everyone, I'm pissing. I'll say that to the whole beach.

• 27:25Speaker 04

  I have a buddy who used to do it on the sand. He's like, what's the difference?

• 27:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I agree. You're going right back in the water. You're to wash off anyway. You're going right back in the water.

• 27:33Speaker 04

  Do you have kids?

• 27:34Andrew Santino?

  No kids, no.

• 27:35Speaker 04

  You'd be a great dad. Because the argument, I always say this about parents.

• 27:39Andrew Santino?

  I mean, he's my son.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  That, you, you have.

• 27:41Andrew Santino?

  A 26-year-old son.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  I, I.

• 27:44Andrew Santino?

  27.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  27.

• 27:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he keeps growing. Every year he gets another age. It's so hard to keep up.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  So, I, parents are annoying because they're always 10% right. So like, you're enraged by them because there's a little ounce. And what you just did.

• 27:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  You're 10% right.

• 28:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  Like, yeah, why should I pee? What's the difference between the ocean and the beach? Well, you know, your family feeling like they're with a crazy person.

• 28:10Andrew Santino?

  Don't care.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  Doesn't, right. Dads generally don't care.

• 28:13Andrew Santino?

  Because you get, you reach a certain age where nothing, you don't, it doesn't matter. Someone would be like, that's embarrassing. And you're like, for whom?

• 28:19Speaker 04

  For, for, right.

• 28:20Andrew Santino?

  I don't care anymore.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  I'm married and I'm done.

• 28:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it doesn't matter. I don't, I also, who's gonna, I don't, what's the? I think about as I all the years I spent worrying about what other people thought of that thing that I was up to, whatever it was. And then you reach a certain age and you're like, oh, I can't believe I even fucking cared a little bit about.

• 28:39Speaker 04

  I know. Well, again, to go back, that's Larry David.

• 28:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, who cares?

• 28:42Speaker 04

  That's why he's sexy.

• 28:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, cuz he doesn't give a fuck.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:45Andrew Santino?

  His is also, his mouth gets in front of him. That's, that is.

• 28:48Speaker 04

  Well, and he, the show, the reason the show, it's, his mouth gets in front of him and then he takes it to.

• 28:55Andrew Santino?

  Another, another level.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  The, the, the end of the road that people, that's why it's so funny. It's like, we usually stop ourselves and then go back to our mirror and go, and another thing.

• 29:05Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 29:05Speaker 04

  You know, the whole curb thing is, I'm gonna take this ounce of truth and play it to the end.

• 29:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he does. He goes as far as you can go with it.

• 29:13Speaker 04

  Right.

• 29:14Andrew Santino?

  Which, which, I think, like, my dad is, how old are your parents?

• 29:19Speaker 04

  Sixty-eight. They're young.

• 29:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like, once they get to their seventies, I feel like they really don't give a fuck. Like, they get to a place now where, like, my dad used to exercise a lot. And my mom still does. And I'll say, hey, are you gonna go down in the basement and work out? And he'll, he'll chuckle.

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 29:36Andrew Santino?

  Now he's like.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  Why?

• 29:38Andrew Santino?

  No, dude, it's, I'm gonna go soon.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Oh, my, it's.

• 29:41Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't fucking care.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  My dad's like the opposite where if I talked, every time I'm like, how was the morning? He'll announce his schedule with the most pride I've ever, he's like, woke up, nine holes of golf, spun, swam, gonna play gin now. Do you know anyone else my age doing all that? Do ya? And I'm like, no, I don't talk to a lot of sixty-eight year olds. What the fuck are you talking about? This is every time, every time.

• 30:08Andrew Santino?

  He's an active cat.

• 30:09Speaker 04

  Oh, my dad moves.

• 30:10Andrew Santino?

  What about your mom?

• 30:11Speaker 04

  Oh, same. They are, they are at a thirteen out of ten every day.

• 30:17Andrew Santino?

  That's great.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  And I put up a, the trailer for the special, people are like, did you write the lines for them? No. They are all themselves.

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  It's them.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  It is so them. There's like clips of them. At the end of the special, there's a hidden camera in the car when I go pick them up. And my mom's like, did you tell Jimmy Fallon about tonight? And I'm like, what? Why would I tell Jimmy? Like, they're just like, everything out of their mouth. I'm like, I need a camera on this.

• 30:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'll call Jimmy right now. Let me just ring him up.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  I did, I did Fallon twice, so she's like assuming we text every day.

• 30:47Andrew Santino?

  You guys are best friends.

• 30:49Speaker 04

  Talk all the time.

• 30:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  He couldn't make it. Sorry, mom. Like, what am I supposed to say? And, but they, and now, cuz they live in Boca, they're in a country club community.

• 30:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh, nice.

• 30:58Speaker 04

  They are, both have their own golf carts with their names on the side of it, on the driver's seat.

• 31:03Andrew Santino?

  What's, was nicknames or their real names?

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Oh, real names. Kim and Jerry, just hanging. They, and it's Kim on the driver's side of hers, Jerry on the driver's side of his, and they, drive around, and they, my dad was never really, like, he had no friends. All of a sudden, he's got like a whole group.

• 31:19Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, he had, what did he do for a living?

• 31:21Speaker 04

  He sold liquor, beer and wine.

• 31:23Andrew Santino?

  He had no friends? That seems like a friendly world.

• 31:26Speaker 04

  Well, it was a social world. But he never like, was like, I'm out with my buddy tonight. That's not like a thing.

• 31:31Andrew Santino?

  Well, I don't, I think many dads, I think dads have a couple of buds, but they see them intermittently. Most time, dad at home, couch TV.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  Right.

• 31:38Andrew Santino?

  Most dad at home, couch TV.

• 31:40Speaker 04

  Get me to the bed. That was always my dad's goal. Even like, he wasn't even social with like, if I had friends over, I always tell my parents, I'm like, the reason, I, I was like, you guys are the worst hosts of all ti- my mom, the minute you'd walk in, take off your shoes! You just walk in with your shoes on? And then my dad's hiding upstairs like he's haunting the place. So like, I stopped bringing friends over. I was like, why would I ever, it's always uncomfortable.

• 32:08Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 32:08Speaker 04

  And it's like, I told them all the time, I'm like, I'm a good house guest because of how uncomfortable you made anyone who walked in our home.

• 32:16Andrew Santino?

  Maybe it worked.

• 32:16Speaker 04

  It kinda worked. Again, like, you can't, you know, you want a kid who can do drugs and play sports? But you can't parent, you can't like try to do that.

• 32:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 04

  You know, they tried, they were horrific, and I loved them. But like now, if I stay at someone's house, I'm like, I have a towel with me at all times, wiping under my feet every time I take a step. Cuz I'm so used to like my mom yelling at me.

• 32:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:41Speaker 04

  And.

• 32:42Andrew Santino?

  Where would you grow, you didn't grow, you grew up in.

• 32:43Speaker 04

  I'm from outside of Boston.

• 32:44Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  Need 'em.

• 32:45Andrew Santino?

  When you guys moved out, when did you make the shift to Florida?

• 32:48Speaker 04

  So my parents moved in twenty sixteen. They were doing like Snowbird.

• 32:52Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:53Speaker 04

  And then they were like, now they're the mascots for Florida. They love Florida more than anyone's ever loved Florida. They would, hug Ron DeSantis as they.

• 33:02Andrew Santino?

  Most old Jews that go down there, that's heaven on earth.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  Heaven.

• 33:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they love it.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  They love it. They stay through the summer, they don't care. They go, it's not that hot. People complain. They got AC everywhere. It's fucking hot.

• 33:12Andrew Santino?

  So hot.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  And about a year, and a, a couple of years ago, they were like, why don't you move down here? And I'm like, I like New York, uh, and I was, they're like, what are you doing up there? And I'm like, I'm working. You know, like, I, I go to the cellar, I, I, you know, I do my podcast, and they're like, you can just go and do that anytime you want, and have a nice place here, and go on the road from here. And I, I was like, you know what, let me, and I was living in like a studio apartment like the size of this. I had no, you know, I wanted some life.

• 33:41Andrew Santino?

  Were you in Manhattan?

• 33:42Speaker 04

  I was in Manhattan, in the West Village, and I, the West Village kinda got young on me.

• 33:46Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's very young.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  It's very young now, but like, when I first moved, I was in New York eighteen years. When I've got, got to New York, the West Village was the goal. That was where adults lived.

• 33:56Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  And now it's like where people start. And I was kinda like.

• 34:00Andrew Santino?

  NYU students.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, and it's like, and, and I kinda felt like an old guy. I was drinking too much. I was just like drinking on the way home from the cellar every night. And.

• 34:09Andrew Santino?

  Is that bad?

• 34:10Speaker 04

  It was great. I loved it, but I was just like, I think I was avoiding shit.

• 34:15Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  I was like, I think I was using alcohol to like, just like, kinda just like not deal with some shit. And so I was going back to my apartment, and I was in this studio that like, I loved. I, I, but I'm like, what is this? Is this what I want the rest of my life to be? And then I was like, all right, let me move, I'll, I'll move, I can always come back. I get down to Delray Beach. Delray Beach, people from out of Florida, like, the rest of the country's like, oh, that's where my aunt, who's a hundred, lives. And they're like, and everyone thinks it's old. Everyone in Florida thinks Delray Beach is young.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  So, it's kind of a perfect mix.

• 34:53Andrew Santino?

  This is the Ferris Bueller theory.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  Right.

• 34:55Andrew Santino?

  Nobody knows how old anybody is.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  Nobody knows. And Atlantic Avenue is like, I compare it to Manhattan Beach. I would say Delray Beach and Manhattan Beach are a lot alike, in the sense that.

• 35:04Andrew Santino?

  That's very young.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  Right. There you go. You live here, you think it's very young.

• 35:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Manhattan Beach, if you went down to Manhattan Beach, that's like a young guy's paradise.

• 35:12Speaker 04

  Right.

• 35:12Andrew Santino?

  Young singles paradise. Or young, newly young couples. That's like, that's typically what's down there.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  I would say, and, and it's also off to the side of LA, it's not in.

• 35:21Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's definitely not LA.

• 35:22Speaker 04

  Not LA.

• 35:23Andrew Santino?

  No, it's a hundred percent not LA.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  I had buddies that moved there after college, and I was like, this is like Saved by the Bell. This is unbelievable.

• 35:28Andrew Santino?

  It's awesome. That's why it's not, it's not LA. Yeah, it's its own world.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  It is its own world. So Delray Beach, I would say like, it's not West Palm, it's not Fort Lauderdale, it's not Miami. And I was like, this is kinda cool. I like this. I can fly in and out of West Palm. And my parents being close, like, where else was I gonna move? Like.

• 35:47Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  I could've moved, LA wasn't for me, you know, when I'm here.

• 35:52Andrew Santino?

  Hey, you don't like it? You're like Seinfeld. He hates it here.

• 35:54Speaker 04

  I don't hate it here. It's just.

• 35:55Andrew Santino?

  See that fucking interview he just did shitting on LA?

• 35:57Speaker 04

  Really?

• 35:57Andrew Santino?

  It's all this guy does. He fucking shits on LA. This place made him, and this guy fucking dumped on him.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  Right.

• 36:02Andrew Santino?

  He did a whole thing about it.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  He must've lived here when he did the sitcom.

• 36:04Andrew Santino?

  They shot at fucking CBS Radford, right there, in Studio City.

• 36:08Speaker 04

  I think it's like, if you don't give yourself to hear, I could see how the first couple of years in LA, it's uncomfortable.

• 36:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  I, I could see how also, once you're like, moved in, it's like the best. You know your area.

• 36:19Andrew Santino?

  If you're settled, you're, it's great.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  It's great for settling. And I think New York is great to like, the first couple of years, you're going out every night, and then when you settle down, you're like, I'm either, you can only be young and uncomfortable or rich enough to be comfortable in New York.

• 36:35Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  And I'm not either of those things. I like to be comfortable and I'm not rich. So.

• 36:43Andrew Santino?

  You're cruising the middle.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, so.

• 36:45Andrew Santino?

  So Florida, dude.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Florida, baby. And so I moved down there. I was single at the time. I'm like.

• 36:51Andrew Santino?

  You got somebody now.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Now I'm, I'm dating, I'm in a relationship, I'm, I'm in love, I'm in love, I don't care.

• 36:56Andrew Santino?

  How long is this been?

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Since, uh, January, that we like reconnected. We dated before.

• 37:01Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow, you went back to the well.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  She came, she came to me.

• 37:05Andrew Santino?

  Okay, dude.

• 37:06Speaker 04

  No, she, she'll hate that I said that.

• 37:07Andrew Santino?

  Let's get her on the show next week and have her, have her opinion.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. She, she and I dated, uh, a few years ago, and then I ended it cuz I was like, I'm just not ready. I have to commit to this or we, like, we have to like move to the next phase or we have to end. And I wasn't ready. And then I was thinking about her a lot over the last few years, and then I wrote a dating book, which is like crazy to even say out of my mouth, but I wrote a dating book. A lot of reflection in the dating book. Listen, if you're, uh, if you're, if you wanna read about dating and laugh, it's a funny dating book. It's, um, I'm proud of it, but it was a lot of like, have you done, done the book thing?

• 37:45Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Have you been asked?

• 37:46Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  Don't do it.

• 37:48Andrew Santino?

  People know I don't read or write.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  I don't read.

• 37:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  And they were like, you can do it. And I was like, sure. Then they were like, here's some money. I was like, I, I could use that.

• 37:56Andrew Santino?

  I could do, I'll do it.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  I'll do it. And then they.

• 37:58Andrew Santino?

  Look, I know how to write now.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  Right. And then they go, they go, do you, they were like, I go, do you, so, I was like, the first minute I said, okay, I'm in. Who's the ghostwriter? And they were like, you're a writer, you're a comedian. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I write all the time. That's how, that's how I go on stage. Every night, I'm sitting by candlelight. And then, literally, I made this outline for a month. You have to make a very in-depth outline. And then the editor's like, okay, page one, here we go. And I go to write page one. It was the worst week of my life. I was hating myself. I hated every minute. Finally, I get done with, I'm in Denver, I'm at the Comedy Works, and I'm like, send. And then twenty minutes later, the editor's like, yeah, we need a ghostwriter.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  I'm like, what the fuck? I just hurt my own feelings. I said I want a ghostwriter. Didn't talk to them for a month. And then they're like, hey, we need to do this. And then, so we worked it out where I would tell the ghostwriter's stories. And answer questions for dating and then she would turn it into a book.

• 38:55Andrew Santino?

  Amazing.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  And it was great. Every morning I'd wake up to an email from the ghostwriter Taylor. And it was like asking me questions and do you have a story for this scenario? And I was like, and I had them all.

• 39:06Andrew Santino?

  So this person was a good writer?

• 39:08Speaker 04

  She writes for John Oliver. She's a genius.

• 39:11Andrew Santino?

  Well, don't say she's a ghost. She's not, we're not supposed to know. She's a ghost.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, no, I, I want to make sure I'm upfront.

• 39:16Andrew Santino?

  Yes, you credited her, yeah.

• 39:17Speaker 04

  She's unbelievable and funny and does stand up. That was my requisite. I was like, I want a woman.

• 39:21Andrew Santino?

  Taylor Tomlinson wrote your book.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  Taylor Tomlinson wrote the whole thing. It's unbelievable what this woman does.

• 39:26Andrew Santino?

  She's very talented, dude. She is.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  No.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Taylor Kay, she's awesome and she's, um. I can't think of, we've become friends, you know, and she's, and I was like, I want a female comic to write this with because I've always put my dating stuff through women. I want the debate. I want the, you know, I want to be told I'm an idiot so I can go, no, but think about this angle.

• 39:50Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  A lot of dating talk is done in silos and it's men being assholes and it's women woo wooing each other. And both are not true.

• 40:00Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  So I was, that's why the book isn't successful.

• 40:05Speaker 04

  That's why I'm middle class because I'm not a grifter.

• 40:10Andrew Santino?

  Get this, please buy his book.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  Buy my fucking book. No, go watch my special.

• 40:14Andrew Santino?

  Watch a special on Netflix first.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  The special's free if you're already paying. You're already paying for Netflix.

• 40:18Andrew Santino?

  You're already paying for Netflix.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  So just watch it.

• 40:19Andrew Santino?

  Or you might be on your parents' Netflix.

• 40:21Speaker 04

  Who cares? Or my parents are on my Netflix.

• 40:24Andrew Santino?

  That's the exchange. You're on their phone, you're on your Netflix.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  Every day I get a call, go to your email.

• 40:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there's a code.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  Update the, gotta get the code. Go to your email. So.

• 40:37Speaker 00

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• 41:06Speaker 04

  I write the book. I write about our experiences together a lot. So she texts me, I'm going to Philly and she lives in Philly and I'm like, and she's like, would you want to get coffee? And I've been thinking about her. I've been making these like, I'll stop drinking and then if I, hopefully when I stop drinking, I'll stop thinking about our relationship. I kept, I was blaming alcohol and then I was like, I kept thinking about her and I was like, kept making like, if this happens, then I'll message her. But I didn't want to message her and then go back again. I didn't want to end it again.

• 41:36Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  And that would make me a dick. And she messaged me and I remember seeing the message. I was like, fuck, now I have to do something.

• 41:44Andrew Santino?

  Yep.

• 41:44Speaker 04

  And we got together for coffee and just since then, just kind of.

• 41:49Andrew Santino?

  That was it.

• 41:49Speaker 04

  And I was.

• 41:50Andrew Santino?

  And then she moved down to Delray Beach for you?

• 41:51Speaker 04

  Well, we're working that out. That makes it sound like we're on the rocks. No, I, that first meeting, I was like, oh, also I wrote a book about us. Like imagine the most horrific thing you could ever hear from an ex. And she knew I had the book deal but didn't know. She's like, so how's it going? I'm like, so, um, yeah, about that. And she read it. She loved it. She was like, there's three stories about us. And I was like, yep. She knew exactly. And, uh, you know, so. And now it's been, it's been fun. Like I, I really have enjoyed being in a rela-

• 42:24Andrew Santino?

  Long distance though.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  A little bit of distance. I'm trying to get.

• 42:27Andrew Santino?

  Philly to Florida?

• 42:29Speaker 04

  Philly to Florida.

• 42:30Andrew Santino?

  It's a long way.

• 42:31Speaker 04

  No one's ever done that trip before.

• 42:33Andrew Santino?

  That's impossible.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  Can't happen.

• 42:35Andrew Santino?

  Can't happen.

• 42:35Speaker 04

  So we'll see.

• 42:36Andrew Santino?

  Well, she, would you move to Philly for her?

• 42:38Speaker 04

  So.

• 42:39Andrew Santino?

  That's the real question. How much do you love her? Would you leave Florida to go to Philly?

• 42:42Speaker 04

  And then I'd have to be around those people.

• 42:43Andrew Santino?

  Go Birds! Fucking enough of that shit, dude. I'm so tired of fucking hearing about Philly.

• 42:50Speaker 04

  I.

• 42:50Andrew Santino?

  Are we champion Philly like Shane? All these Philly guys that I love?

• 42:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:54Andrew Santino?

  And then fucking, if I hear fucking go Birds and all this bullshit again from, fuck off, shut up. I'm so fucking tired of Philly. I'm fucking exhausted. You did it. You're the, we love you. Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

• 43:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:08Andrew Santino?

  It's gonna get worse with the Rocky movie coming out.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  I know. Another one?

• 43:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I play Rocky.

• 43:12Speaker 04

  I knew it.

• 43:13Andrew Santino?

  And that kid's gonna win a fucking Oscar.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:16Andrew Santino?

  He is.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  Call it here.

• 43:17Andrew Santino?

  Cause it's the, this kid who, who was in the, um, um, he was in, what was the show? The Offer or whatever? And he, he's fucking incredible and he's playing Rocky in this movie. I play Rocky. It's like the 40th anniversary. What year is this?

• 43:32Speaker 04

  50th anniversary. Is Stallone involved?

• 43:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he produced it, I bet.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  I love Philly.

• 43:38Andrew Santino?

  No, yeah. I fucking love Philly, but they shove it down your throat.

• 43:42Speaker 04

  Well, it's a thin line between, and this is all fandom. You're a Bears fan. When you talk, when you talk football with a football fan, there's a line of like, are we gonna have fun and debate or are you gonna try and like crush me?

• 43:56Andrew Santino?

  No, yeah.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  And Philly people don't, a lot of people, I went to Penn State. I know Philly. I know, I love, it's the best food town in the country. Like, I'm, I'm, I know you're.

• 44:07Andrew Santino?

  It's an insane thing to say.

• 44:07Speaker 04

  It's the truth.

• 44:09Andrew Santino?

  A best food town?

• 44:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, it has the best, it has the most inventive chefs in the country.

• 44:13Andrew Santino?

  Better than fucking New York?

• 44:14Speaker 04

  Yes. New York, it is cost prohibitive for a young, creative chef to start something new. It's too pricey. I'm just saying, this is just facts. It has the best food.

• 44:24Andrew Santino?

  You're 10% dad right now. You're 10% dad.

• 44:27Speaker 04

  This is just facts. Great merch, 10% dad.

• 44:30Andrew Santino?

  There is no better food than Philly.

• 44:31Speaker 04

  There's no better food than Philly. The problem is the person who's the PR agent for Philly is, go Birds cheesesteak whiz wit. That guy needs to shut the fuck up. Because you have the most inventive, Pizzeria Bedea's, Ahav, you know, I can go down the list. There's amazing food things happening and it's because of not the people. The people are garbage.

• 44:54Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no. The people are good. We love Philly.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  We love the Philly. I'm just trying, I'm trolling you. That's right, through the screen. So, no, but the New York, it's just mathematics. Like, you can't open a place in New York unless you have 30 investors. Philly, you can go to like the, you can go to Manny Yunk and start a thing and people will come to you. I think LA is, LA and Philly, both the best food towns in the country.

• 45:18Andrew Santino?

  I was just gonna say, LA is quiet. We're quiet. We don't get any rep, but I'll tell you the amount of like new spots that are here.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 45:24Andrew Santino?

  It's unfucking real. This place has so much good food and restaurants now, but no one cares about us.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Well, it's the best produce in the country in LA.

• 45:32Andrew Santino?

  Well, it all comes from here.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  It all comes from here.

• 45:33Andrew Santino?

  You're welcome for literally all of it.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, best Asian, all the Asian.

• 45:38Andrew Santino?

  Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

• 45:39Speaker 04

  I'm sorry. I know you and Bobby Lee have a thing. You can't give Asians credit.

• 45:43Andrew Santino?

  No, we do have some of the best Asian food up here.

• 45:45Speaker 04

  I would say, you know, and then New Orleans gets thrown into this. New Orleans does one thing well. It's the width of LA that's so amazing.

• 45:52Andrew Santino?

  What does New Orleans do really well?

• 45:53Speaker 04

  Well, the, you know, the Creole, the, the, the saucy, New Orleans to me is like an anti-

• 45:58Andrew Santino?

  I don't like heartburn that much.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's an anti-Semitic food they make there.

• 46:01Andrew Santino?

  It really is.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  All cream based and spice. Not good for a Jew.

• 46:04Andrew Santino?

  No Jews.

• 46:05Speaker 04

  Right. They basically say that with their food.

• 46:07Andrew Santino?

  Come on down to house, I'm Creole, no Jews.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  Right.

• 46:10Andrew Santino?

  Did she just say no Jew? What did she say?

• 46:12Speaker 04

  Sugar in the drinks.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  You know how many bachelor parties I spent half the time on the toilet? I'm like, fuck this place. I love New Orleans. I mean, Frenchman Street's great. I'm a, but I go to a place and I like dig into the food. Like, and I, and Philly's great. LA is great. Uh, Indianapolis is great. Indianapolis underrated. Some of the better.

• 46:35Andrew Santino?

  It's a good city.

• 46:36Speaker 04

  Blue Beard in Indianapolis is one of the better restaurants I've ever been to. Um.

• 46:40Andrew Santino?

  Hard to admit for me, but I was just in St. Louis and boy, do I fucking, I hate to say that, but I love.

• 46:44Speaker 04

  You like St. Louis food?

• 46:45Andrew Santino?

  I love it. I love St. I know, I like, I like St. Louis as a place. I think it gets a bad rap because I'm from Chicago.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 46:51Andrew Santino?

  And we inherently aren't supposed to like them. Fucking love it down there.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  It makes it easier. There's no football there.

• 46:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:56Speaker 04

  Because that, football is really like at the core of all like city.

• 47:01Andrew Santino?

  Baseball is my number one.

• 47:02Speaker 04

  That is.

• 47:02Andrew Santino?

  So it's hard for me. The Cards versus the Cubs is a, it's a forever thing.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  That's a, that, that, that's, that's a problem.

• 47:08Andrew Santino?

  And also like I had, I had recently connected with Joe Buck who's, you know.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  He's Mr. St. Louis.

• 47:13Andrew Santino?

  He's Mr. St. Louis and he connected me with some other, you know, these young guys to go play golf with and.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Dude, you get along with everybody.

• 47:19Andrew Santino?

  Well.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  Say you're Ferris Bueller. This is Joe Buck on the line. Travis Kelsey is at the Taylor Swift wedding. This is crazy.

• 47:27Andrew Santino?

  I said to Joe Buck, I said, um, I, I was like, look. I respect you so much and I have to hate you a little bit.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:37Andrew Santino?

  As a Cubs fan and he goes, get over it dude.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  Get over it.

• 47:41Andrew Santino?

  And I was like, he's right. He's like, yeah, get over it. You're, I was like, you're right. He's like, you're fine.

• 47:45Speaker 04

  But that's a good sports fan. That's the, that's the line.

• 47:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:49Speaker 04

  That we're talking about where it's like.

• 47:51Andrew Santino?

  He's the man, by the way.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  Are you fun about it? He seems like fun.

• 47:54Andrew Santino?

  He's the man. He's so, he's such, he's a cool dude.

• 47:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:56Andrew Santino?

  It's just so funny that in your sports brain, it was always like my, I learned from my dad. We're diehard Cubs fans. My dad's best friend.

• 48:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:06Andrew Santino?

  His father is a Hall of Fame White Sox, has a statue at whatever it's called, whatever that dump on the south side it's called. The Cell now or the US Cellular Field, whatever. I can't fucking, whatever it is in Chinatown.

• 48:21Andrew Santino?

  Come on Sox fans, relax. You got the Pope.

• 48:24Andrew Santino?

  The Pope likes the fucking White Sox. No, but um, his, his best friend's father is a Hall of Fame. So when we go down there. You know, his family's so well respected. It is amazing to see and I will, you know, wear black. I'll wear black.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  Right, it's respect.

• 48:41Andrew Santino?

  I won't wear Sox hat.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  No, I wouldn't wear, I would never wear a Yankees hat.

• 48:45Andrew Santino?

  But I'll wear black.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:46Andrew Santino?

  And I'll go to the thing and I'm like, my dad taught me that, that he's like, you have to show the respect. You're at the house of the thing. Don't be a dick. Like and, and he's, and I get it. I was like, oh, my dad did that for years. Like if my dad went to a buddy, like let's say my dad went to meet a friend in Detroit. And that, you know, in a business thing and they took him out to a Tigers game. My dad would, if he was like, oh, let me get you a hat. My dad would wear the hat with him just because my dad's that guy. He's like very affable, like.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:12Andrew Santino?

  Yo, I'm, I'm your, I'm a guest. My dad always had that in me. So it's hard for me, but I've learned to just go. Who fucking cares? Yeah, I'm a, it's a.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  Listen, I've always been playing on away game. I went to college at Penn State. I'm from Boston.

• 49:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you gotta be a diehard Red Sox guy.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  I love the Red Sox and I, my, you know, we went to games growing up and the Patriots, but then. You, when you, the, when you move away and you know this, you living here, you have to be a national sports fan. You have to like sports.

• 49:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:41Speaker 04

  To like.

• 49:42Andrew Santino?

  I have to go to Dodgers games. I love baseball.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:44Andrew Santino?

  I have to go.

• 49:45Speaker 04

  And I would go and you'd have Philly and Pittsburgh and those fans, different types of, of, of, of brutal to be around.

• 49:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  And I was like a Patriots fan and then my brother, now he's a coach for the Bears. So like he, yes.

• 50:01Andrew Santino?

  Your brother is?

• 50:02Speaker 04

  Yeah dude, I, we've talked, I gotta send you some stuff.

• 50:05Andrew Santino?

  That's right, that's right.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  I gotta, I.

• 50:06Andrew Santino?

  We did talk about that.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  My, my, my sister-in-law is a sports reporter in the Chicago area.

• 50:12Andrew Santino?

  What's her name?

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Ruthie Polinski. She's the best. She does stuff with Ozzy Guillen all the time.

• 50:17Andrew Santino?

  Name, Ruthie Polinski.

• 50:18Speaker 04

  Well, Ruthie Freed now.

• 50:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you took, took the Polish away and made her Jewish.

• 50:22Speaker 04

  Get rid of that thing. Let's help you out kiddo.

• 50:26Andrew Santino?

  How many Jews did it take to flip a pole?

• 50:29Speaker 04

  One. She, she's amazing. She's great at her work and.

• 50:32Andrew Santino?

  She's from Chicago.

• 50:33Speaker 04

  No, she's from Saint, from Saint Louis.

• 50:35Andrew Santino?

  I was gonna say, because Inski, Winski, Minskis are all.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  All Saint Louis?

• 50:39Andrew Santino?

  Well, no, no, no. Polish is big Chicago. We're, there's more Polish in Chicago than in Warsaw. That's a, that's a literal fact. You can Google it. And that, by the way, we eclipsed that number thirty years ago now. But there's more Polish, Polish immigrants in Chicago than there are in Warsaw, Poland. Look it up.

• 50:57Speaker 05

  It's not true.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  It's not true. This is like when.

• 50:59Andrew Santino?

  Yes, it is.

• 51:00Speaker 04

  This is like when people from Scranton tell you that it's the biggest St. Patty's parade in the country.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  Warsaw has a population of over 1.8 million people. Nearly all of them are Polish. The entire Chicago metro area is about 720,000 people of Polish descent. And only a small fraction were born in Poland.

• 51:16Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 51:16Speaker 05

  It's a wives tale.

• 51:18Speaker 04

  How many people have you said this to?

• 51:20Speaker 05

  The idea that Chicago is more Polish than Warsaw is a myth.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  It's a myth. It's a well-known myth.

• 51:26Andrew Santino?

  It's that prevalent that it made it to the internet that goes, we've heard this before.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  There's enough, there's enough blow party.

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  Who said it then? How does that get to that place? That's like the.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  One drunk dude. One drunk dude. One confident drunk.

• 51:39Andrew Santino?

  That's who does the.

• 51:40Speaker 04

  It's like.

• 51:41Andrew Santino?

  Ten percent dad.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Ten percent dad. There it is.

• 51:43Andrew Santino?

  That's the, that's the, Marilyn Manson removed a rib to suck his own cock.

• 51:46Speaker 05

  Chicago polls are probably around 182,064.

• 51:50Speaker 04

  It's so odd.

• 51:51Andrew Santino?

  Wait, 700,000?

• 51:52Speaker 05

  180.

• 51:53Andrew Santino?

  What was the 700,000?

• 51:54Speaker 05

  Seven hundred, that's how many people are in Chicago metro area.

• 51:58Andrew Santino?

  Seven hundred grand?

• 51:59Speaker 04

  Total.

• 51:59Speaker 05

  720,000.

• 52:00Andrew Santino?

  Is it really? That sounds so small.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. New York's eight million?

• 52:06Andrew Santino?

  In, no, not in Manhattan. You mean in the New York metro area?

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, the.

• 52:11Andrew Santino?

  No, but Justin, well, what would that, how does that?

• 52:14Speaker 05

  I guess, yeah, because Chicago metro area has a population of nine point one to nine point five million.

• 52:19Andrew Santino?

  Okay. How can you, so they're saying just the, just the city center has 700,000 people?

• 52:23Speaker 04

  Or the city Polish, I think he's saying.

• 52:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's gotta be Poles, 700,000 Poles.

• 52:28Speaker 05

  Oh, that is what it's saying.

• 52:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, I've met about 600,000 Polish people in Chicago growing up.

• 52:33Speaker 04

  This is one of the, population numbers is like a baby's weight. I don't know.

• 52:37Andrew Santino?

  No clue.

• 52:37Speaker 04

  I have no, when someone's like, oh, the baby weighed this much, it's huge. I'm like, okay.

• 52:41Andrew Santino?

  Well dude, we took, I took an over-under Rose, the manager of the Comedy Store, cause she had a big baby. Cause her husband's a big, a big boy.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 52:48Andrew Santino?

  And I was like, we took a bet internally with some comics. The over-under was nine and a half, nine point five, I think. And I took the over. And I think it was just at nine something. So I just missed, cause I thought it'd be 10 for sure.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  But so you know about a baby's weight to even know if that's big or small?

• 53:05Andrew Santino?

  Big man. Oh, yeah. Well, what did you weigh when you were born?

• 53:08Speaker 04

  I have no idea. This is not something.

• 53:09Andrew Santino?

  You gotta know. What were you?

• 53:11Speaker 04

  You have a sister?

• 53:11Speaker 05

  I was like eight and a half.

• 53:12Andrew Santino?

  Eight and a half. You're a big fat, still a fat little boy.

• 53:14Speaker 04

  Well, do you have a sister?

• 53:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, my sister was heavier than me as a baby.

• 53:17Speaker 04

  See, this is only stuff that, like I.

• 53:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're an only child?

• 53:20Speaker 04

  No, younger brother. I just told you. Were you listening to anything I say?

• 53:24Andrew Santino?

  No, I can't hear your word that you're saying.

• 53:26Speaker 04

  He, I, I think when you have a sister, she asks all these questions. Like I, I think like, cause I, I noticed this with my brother and I, we have no knowledge of our family history whatsoever. And then my brother's wife is like, asking these questions. Now my girlfriend's like, so who's this and how much did you weigh? And I'm like, who would ask these stupid questions?

• 53:45Andrew Santino?

  A woman.

• 53:45Speaker 04

  And the, and it's all the sister. It's all the woman.

• 53:48Andrew Santino?

  How old is your brother?

• 53:49Speaker 04

  He's thirty-seven.

• 53:50Andrew Santino?

  Is he good-looking?

• 53:52Speaker 04

  Ha, Harry looks like the after picture and I'm the before picture.

• 53:58Speaker 04

  So Harry, it looks like I went on a GLP one and I had a huge success. And he's, Harry's in shape. He's a, he's a, like, uh, the best. He's funny. He's good-looking.

• 54:10Andrew Santino?

  Figured it all out.

• 54:11Speaker 04

  He, he is the best of my family.

• 54:13Andrew Santino?

  Well, you were the trial. You were the trial and error.

• 54:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm, I'm all of the mistakes. Yeah, I'm total beta.

• 54:19Andrew Santino?

  The beta, he's the alpha.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  He's the alpha. He, and you know, I love going to the Bears games. I was at the playoff game. I, you know, I, but I'm sorry.

• 54:28Andrew Santino?

  Who are you a fan of now though? You still a Pats fan?

• 54:30Speaker 04

  That's the thing about being a sports fan and like being a homer.

• 54:34Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 54:34Speaker 04

  It's tough for me to relate to homerism now because I had to move. Like I like the Patriots, but like, cause I keep an eye on them, cause it's my childhood. But my brother went to the Dolphins and now he's with the Bears and I live and die with the Bears games. Because it's like, that's blood. That's my brother. And it's funny when you tell sports fans, I can tell who gets it and who doesn't. When someone's like, you, oh, and you don't cheer for the Patriots anymore? I'm like, it's my fucking brother. What are you, what are you talking about? You know, that's crazy.

• 55:02Andrew Santino?

  No, but that, that, that's also because, and this is not me taking shots. A lot of times people with that attitude have only lived in one spot.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 55:10Andrew Santino?

  I'm not saying I know better. I'm just saying because you move, you experience life differently. And it just shapes the way you have to be as a fan when somebody goes, oh, you could never fucking da, da, da, da, da. And you're like, dude, you've lived here your whole life.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:23Andrew Santino?

  You don't know what it's like to culturally have to re-assimilate to another place where I have to go to fucking, I, I want to go to Dodger games. It's fucking fun to be a fan in a city where I've lived here for two fucking decades.

• 55:36Speaker 04

  Moving and traveling humbles you.

• 55:39Andrew Santino?

  It does humble the shit out of you.

• 55:40Speaker 04

  Thing. These people, and it's not, again, like I like that you said, you're like, I'm not saying I'm smarter than you because I moved. I'm saying I've been humbled because I moved.

• 55:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, my life experience just was, you just, your, your eyes open up to going, oh shit, well, I guess, I guess this is just a, like my dad is from the south.

• 55:55Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:55Andrew Santino?

  Right? He's born in North Carolina.

• 55:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:57Andrew Santino?

  And then he went to school in Tennessee. And then he job relocate, he got a job in Chicago. So he became a Chicago fan.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  Right.

• 56:05Andrew Santino?

  Right? And it's not that he abandoned other things, but like, he lives there. He raised a fucking family there.

• 56:12Speaker 04

  Well, then you start to get to know players on the team in a different way. Like the Knicks right now, like, the Knicks, I love Brunson. Like I, I, like he, if someone was like, I hate the Knicks, I think that, like as a personality, that team. Was a lovable personality that, and you have to be a sports fan to, you are not a sports fan if you can't understand that.

• 56:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 04

  Like if you can't look at the Knicks and go, all these guys were like, you know, Brunson passed over, you know, like.

• 56:43Andrew Santino?

  Great time.

• 56:44Speaker 04

  And like all those guys, like even Karl Anthony Towns, like he was kinda just giving up on a little bit.

• 56:50Andrew Santino?

  Too saucy perhaps.

• 56:52Speaker 04

  Very saucy, salty, he's spicy.

• 56:54Andrew Santino?

  Spicy, yeah.

• 56:55Speaker 04

  And he.

• 56:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  He's great. I, I, that whole team, Josh Hart, you know, like they all just seem like fun guys.

• 57:02Andrew Santino?

  It's a collection of dogs. Yeah, good dogs.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  And so you look at that team and it's like, I'm a Celtics fan, but I like, I totally was like hoping they would win. You know, like I, I wasn't.

• 57:10Andrew Santino?

  Cause your team's not in it at some point.

• 57:12Speaker 04

  And you go to one Knicks game at Madison Square Garden, you're like, I get it. I get it. This is awesome.

• 57:16Andrew Santino?

  I rooted for, I was rooting for him too. My, my, my, my brother-in-law, my sister got married to a, a diehard New York kid. So like. Yeah, dude, I, so I was happy to support.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  Right.

• 57:25Andrew Santino?

  It's, you're a phony in sports if you're one of these like, did you ever see the movie, um, uh, Celtic Pride?

• 57:32Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 57:33Andrew Santino?

  Right? Like that generation of guy, I love that, those psychopaths who would kidnap a guy just to, so their team could win. Like, I get it.

• 57:41Speaker 04

  I get it.

• 57:42Andrew Santino?

  Like I grew up, I grew up with those guys. Yes.

• 57:44Speaker 04

  They are characters, they're cartoons.

• 57:46Andrew Santino?

  And you go, that's a dangerous life. This is insane to be that embedded in something, that you would like. You know, fist fight in front of your children because you got an argument at a baseball game or ba- When I see that now, I was young and I remember what, like the White Sox and the Cubs just played, we had the cross town- And there was a huge fight in the bleachers. And they interviewed PCA about it on PMT. And he was like, yo, everybody loves a good scrap. But also, come on, man, there's like kids around, like grow up.

• 58:15Speaker 04

  No, I went to a Red Sox game growing up, I was with my dad and we're sitting like behind the third base dugout, you know, he had- My family used to have tickets to really great Red Sox tickets.

• 58:25Andrew Santino?

  And you let them go?

• 58:27Speaker 04

  It was, they were like company tickets.

• 58:29Andrew Santino?

  Oh man, you keep those.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  I know.

• 58:31Andrew Santino?

  Keep those forever.

• 58:32Speaker 04

  Three rows behind the third base dugout.

• 58:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 58:34Speaker 04

  They were like sick and we used to go a lot and I remember we were in the row and this guy next to us was like, "Stand up, come on", he was like the section captain. "Get up, get up", and he just, there were these guys in front of us and we're in a nice section of the game. They're in suits, he just takes his beer, pours it on the guy in front of him.

• 58:51Andrew Santino?

  Nah dude.

• 58:52Speaker 04

  And you're like, and I remember like being a kid, just like, what is going, you know, like we're just like, "This is unbelievable", and you, at that point, you're like, "Oh, that's, guy poured a beer", Now, thinking about it, you're like, the level of insanity to do that. Like you're an actual crazy person.

• 59:08Andrew Santino?

  As a kid, you're like, "This is funny, this is wild."

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Crazy, yeah, now I'm like, "Oh my god, that person, we should have left." Like, that was a dangerous person.

• 59:15Andrew Santino?

  Dangerous place.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Right, like, it is funny, I was in Texas, I've been like Austin and I was in an Uber, I remember. This is not like, I just turned, you turn into such a pussy, like I, the, the driver, she was drinking a, a bottle of water. She gets done with the bottle of water, she puts her window down, she throws it out the window. What? And I was like, "Ah", and literally, I was like scared, I literally just took the seatbelt and put it on. That was my first move, I was like, "Well, what else won't she do?".

• 59:45Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're in her, but what are you gonna say, it's her, it's like, you're at the mercy, what would you have said?

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Hey?

• 59:51Andrew Santino?

  Had you been a real adult?

• 59:52Speaker 04

  I would, no.

• 59:53Andrew Santino?

  And had some fucking balls?

• 59:55Speaker 04

  No.

• 59:56Andrew Santino?

  What, what would you have said?

• 59:57Speaker 04

  What, there's nothing to say!

• 59:58Andrew Santino?

  Hey, man, that's not fucking cool.

• 59:59Speaker 04

  Hey, mother earth called! Have to be a fucking dork about it.

• 1:00:05Andrew Santino?

  Well, there's nothing dorkier than saving the environment, what am I? You could go, "Hey, that's not cool, that's fucked up, don't, why would you litter?". And she'd be like, "Get out of my fucking car", you go, "I'll get another Uber, fuck you".

• 1:00:15Speaker 04

  Whoa, we're in the middle of the highway, I gotta get to places.

• 1:00:17Andrew Santino?

  I'll get off at the high, get off, get off at this exit, you piece of shit.

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  You would have done that?

• 1:00:20Andrew Santino?

  No, but I would have said, so I know me, if somebody did, I would have been like, "Wow, what are you doing, man?". I would have said, what, I can hear myself, he know, he could vouch. I would be the guy to go, "What are you doing, what, why'd you do that?".

• 1:00:29Speaker 04

  Like, this is why you're Ferris, I'm Cameron.

• 1:00:32Andrew Santino?

  Well, no, and then he'd be like, "Ah, fucking blah blah blah, who gives a shit, dah dah dah", And then, again, I'm not gonna combat, but I would put it in their brain to go, "Ah, man, that's not fucking cool".

• 1:00:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Andrew Santino?

  And then I'd be back on my phone, because I can't change it, but at least the nugget in their head of like, "Fuck that, that's a lame thing to do".

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  I put on my seatbelt and I said, in my head, I went, "We're going to Uber Black for the rest of the trip".

• 1:00:56Speaker 04

  That was my only thought. Uber Black it is, I guess we're gonna have to spend the extra money.

• 1:01:00Andrew Santino?

  I get off on giving people little nuggets of, think about it.

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  You did it to Marc Maron last night, he can't, he'll never put those shoes on again.

• 1:01:10Andrew Santino?

  Just a little nugget.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  He'll never wear those brown shoes again.

• 1:01:13Andrew Santino?

  Like a woman was like running, I was in line, I was at, I was at O'Hare, I was at the airport, coming back here. And a woman like, is kind of frantic and she likes, basically cuts me and a few other people off. And then the woman next to me like gives me a look like, you know, like, "What the fuck?". And then I just go, "Excuse me", Every, these, all these people are waiting. And she was like, I, I, you know, and she's like, trying to pretend like she doesn't know what's going on or whatever, she's like, "Okay", And she goes to the back, I go, "It's not a big deal, if you're in a rush, go ahead", But that passive aggressive, that passive aggressive, "If you're in a rush, go ahead", Makes her feel way worse than if I was like, "You fucking moron",

• 1:01:55Speaker 04

  No, no, no. "You're a fucking dah dah dah dah dah". You're a hero, you did it in the right way, you did it in the classy way.

• 1:01:59Andrew Santino?

  I just like to give people a little, a little fuck you.

• 1:02:01Speaker 04

  I'm the guy next to you, here's what I am. I'm the guy next to you that goes, Just a little head nod, I'll give you a head nod of support, you, you do that, I go, Little, little fist in the air.

• 1:02:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:15Speaker 04

  I'll give you a little head nod, that's the amount, because I'm the head nod guy.

• 1:02:20Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna get out ahead, but I'm gonna let you know, that shit crazy.

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  I'll give you the head, that shit crazy nod.

• 1:02:28Andrew Santino?

  Like, are you?

• 1:02:28Speaker 04

  Good merch, that shit crazy nod.

• 1:02:30Andrew Santino?

  That shit crazy nod, sniff the grit, I like drugs and sports.

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  I'm just a marketing machine.

• 1:02:35Andrew Santino?

  You really are, you're very good.

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  Listen, I spit it out, man, I've never had successful merch in my life.

• 1:02:40Andrew Santino?

  I've never, we never did merch.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  Never did merch?

• 1:02:43Andrew Santino?

  I did merch like one time.

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  I felt like you would be-

• 1:02:46Andrew Santino?

  No, we do Bad Friends, we do merch on the show.

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:48Andrew Santino?

  But we don't sell it live anymore, we, we did it one time and I think we fucking hated it, right? It was impossible to do.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  Just because we had to haul it everywhere.

• 1:02:55Andrew Santino?

  We had to haul everything.

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  You have to haul it everywhere and then, I remember the one time I tried to do t-shirts, a woman was like, "Am I a large or a medium?", and I was like, "I'm out", I am not gonna tell a woman whether she's a large or a medium.

• 1:03:07Andrew Santino?

  Have your dad come and guess women's weight at the thing.

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Right, like a carnival game.

• 1:03:10Andrew Santino?

  186.

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's-

• 1:03:13Andrew Santino?

  By the way, when your father asked you how much you weigh, which is in his very new special that's out right now, please go watch it on Netflix immediately.

• 1:03:19Speaker 04

  Please, please. I also make fun of Rob Lowe.

• 1:03:22Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you do?

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  I have like a 10 minute Rob Lowe bit.

• 1:03:25Andrew Santino?

  A 10 minute bit about Rob Lowe?

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:26Andrew Santino?

  Do you know him?

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  We met at the day-

• 1:03:29Andrew Santino?

  Well, then I don't, don't say it, so people don't, don't spoil it.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  Well, I, I won't spoil it, but I met and he goes, I go, I, cause in the, in the bit, I, I'm like, I will approach, I will let him know that I do this, I, I, I don't like making fun of people I, I would never meet.

• 1:03:42Andrew Santino?

  Are you not making fun of him, or you, it's like, it's a-

• 1:03:45Speaker 04

  I'm making fun, it, it's in good fun.

• 1:03:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:48Speaker 04

  It's not, I, I-

• 1:03:49Andrew Santino?

  You're not like, "This guy sucks".

• 1:03:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, you are. Well, he's, so I go, I, I'm not, I, it is in good fun, like I, I felt comfortable going up to him and going, "Hey, Rob, I talk about you on stage every night", And he goes, "You do the bit about Atkins", "I heard about it", And I go, "That's my bit", And he goes, "I heard it's hilarious", So-

• 1:04:09Andrew Santino?

  Cause he does an Atkins commercial, right?

• 1:04:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I was like enraged, as someone with body issues that is like, that kills me, so I-

• 1:04:18Andrew Santino?

  It kills you because you're like, "This guy never did Atkins".

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  He has no need for this, this is not his people, so I-

• 1:04:24Andrew Santino?

  You never know, we don't know the depth of Rob Lowe.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  I know enough.

• 1:04:28Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of like when you read these articles, Brad Pitt admitted that he stopped drinking because he was like, "I drank every day since college", I was like, "What?".

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Andrew Santino?

  "I like you more?".

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:04:36Andrew Santino?

  "I didn't think you could be hotter and cooler", And he's like, "No, I had to get sober because I fucking drank every day",

• 1:04:41Speaker 04

  Well-

• 1:04:42Andrew Santino?

  "Since college", I was like, "Are you the hottest, coolest guy that's ever lived?". He looked that good and he drank every day?

• 1:04:47Speaker 04

  Well, how about he got sober for a while and now, you know why you read that article? Cause now he's back to drinking.

• 1:04:51Andrew Santino?

  He's back on the sauce.

• 1:04:52Speaker 04

  He's back drinking and he's, and he's doing a whole PR tour-

• 1:04:55Andrew Santino?

  About drinking.

• 1:04:56Speaker 04

  About how he's, it's cool.

• 1:04:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, cause he's the coolest fucking guy alive, Brad Pitt's the coolest fucking guy that's ever lived. I have met him once.

• 1:05:03Speaker 04

  I knew you fucking met him. Could you text him right now?

• 1:05:06Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:05:07Speaker 04

  Could you?

• 1:05:08Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  Just Joe Buck. Just Joe Buck.

• 1:05:11Andrew Santino?

  Joe Buck. Joe Buck is my sports Brad Pitt.

• 1:05:13Speaker 04

  I, that's a good one.

• 1:05:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  That's a good one, you could go to any Monday night football game you want.

• 1:05:18Andrew Santino?

  Joe's the man, no, Brad, I don't know him, I don't, I, I, I've met him once.

• 1:05:21Speaker 04

  Do you have his number?

• 1:05:22Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no. You have his pants.

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  What's the most famous person?

• 1:05:24Andrew Santino?

  You have his pants. I do have his clothes.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  You have his pants?

• 1:05:27Andrew Santino?

  I have a lot of his clothes, yeah, yeah. When he did Dave, he did an episode of Dave.

• 1:05:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:32Andrew Santino?

  And the wardrobe, the, the, the head of wardrobe, who was the fucking coolest, she was like, After the shoot, we were like, the company move, and so everyone's getting their shit out of their trailers, Cause a lot of times you can leave your shit in your trailer, they're like, "It's gonna be the next location", But they were like, "We're doing a big company move, get all your shit out of the trailers", And I was like, "Fuck", So I'm like loading stuff in my car and she's like, uh, she's like, "Santino, "Your measurements are like exactly the same as Brad Pitt".

• 1:06:00Speaker 04

  She was hitting on you.

• 1:06:01Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no, no, no.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  That's the craziest thing to say to-

• 1:06:04Andrew Santino?

  You know you have the same sized dick. No, no, I definitely don't, she, yeah, cause she's like, "There's a, there's a, there's a missing bulge",

• 1:06:10Speaker 04

  Right?

• 1:06:11Andrew Santino?

  No, she was like, "Your measurements are the same, he's 6'1", And I'm 200 pounds, I think he was 190 something. She's like, "I'm a little bit bigger, weight wise", But she's like, "You're the same, you're like, almost the exact same measurements", And she goes, "We bought all these clothes for Brad for the shoot", Like, it's so funny, cause he didn't-

• 1:06:27Speaker 04

  He did an episode of Dave?

• 1:06:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's actually a great, it's actually one of the, I think one of our best episodes we did on that show.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  Did you write for that show too?

• 1:06:34Andrew Santino?

  No, but I mean, I, you know, we wrote, you wrote live.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 1:06:37Andrew Santino?

  You know, like, we kind of, yeah, that's a whole nother story, for another time. No, no, no, no, there's no beef, I'm just saying like, yeah, we had to create our, you had to create your own universe a little bit.

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  I got you.

• 1:06:47Andrew Santino?

  I did, very, Dave- Dave was very, um.

• 1:06:52Speaker 04

  Collaborative?

• 1:06:53Andrew Santino?

  I'm just saying like for me specifically, I don't, I can't speak for other actors, but like Dave was very, uh, there was no handcuffs on me. Like Dave was like, you do, you do whatever you want.

• 1:07:02Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 1:07:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:03Speaker 04

  That's fun.

• 1:07:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Well, Jeff Schaefer was also the man behind the curtain. He was the Wizard of Oz. I don't know if you know Jeff, but.

• 1:07:08Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:07:09Andrew Santino?

  He did Seinfeld, Curb, he did fucking Jeff.

• 1:07:12Speaker 04

  I would, I would, you got his number?

• 1:07:13Andrew Santino?

  Him, yeah. Jeff Schaefer, oh yeah.

• 1:07:15Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 1:07:15Andrew Santino?

  Jeff and Jackie created the show The League on FX. Do you remember that show?

• 1:07:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love that show.

• 1:07:18Andrew Santino?

  Okay, so Jeff.

• 1:07:19Speaker 04

  That show, I mean, that show, I just saw a clip from it the other day. I was like, and it was on Twitter or something. It was like, they don't make it like The League anymore. And I'm like, I gotta agree. That show was really good. Yeah.

• 1:07:29Andrew Santino?

  Stacked. But, um.

• 1:07:30Speaker 04

  Also, male friendship, that show really showed it in a way that was like, real.

• 1:07:35Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:35Speaker 04

  Like those, the way those guys bust, bust each other's balls.

• 1:07:37Andrew Santino?

  That was like a fantasy football friendship group.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  That was, they, well, it's because that's what it came, it was a real.

• 1:07:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:42Andrew Santino?

  Group that came. But, uh, Brad Pitt did our show. It was a great episode. And she was like, oh yeah, you're the same size. Long story short, she's like, we bought so mu, they wanted to woo him. He didn't ask for anything.

• 1:07:55Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:07:56Andrew Santino?

  By the way, I think he wore his real clothes on that episode. When you, when you, I think he wore his clothes that he wore to set.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:01Andrew Santino?

  Cause he was supposed to be Brad in the wild. It wasn't like he was playing, he was playing him.

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:08:04Andrew Santino?

  So she was like, hey, it's all Double RL stuff. You know Double RL. Yeah. It's a ripoff.

• 1:08:09Speaker 04

  That ain't, that ain't cheap.

• 1:08:10Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's insane. And she was like, we have a fuckload of it. So I went in there, I literally, it was like shopping. And she was like, she's like, just fucking take it. Just put it in your fucking car. And she's like, otherwise, she's like, the studio's gonna pay for it. And they think Brad took it home. Nobody cares.

• 1:08:25Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:08:25Andrew Santino?

  So I just was grabbing jeans and shirts. So I never had the balls. Because I just, when I met him, I wanted to be like, I have your pants on.

• 1:08:36Andrew Santino?

  Wanted to be like, I'm in your jeans, Brad. But thank you to Brad Pitt because they charged the studio for sure. And the studio's never gonna question Brad Pitt.

• 1:08:43Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:08:44Andrew Santino?

  If he wants nine pairs of Double RL pants, they're gonna be like, give him 10. If Andrew Santino's like, hey FX, could I get one pair of jeans? They'd be like, fuck you.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  The bill will be sent to you directly.

• 1:08:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we'll take it out of your check. Yeah, no problem.

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's gonna be minus, uh, fifteen hundred dollars for all that stuff.

• 1:09:00Andrew Santino?

  But he's back to drinking again, which, um, go Brad. Yay Brad.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  But it's very interesting to see what he has to do to be able to drink. Like, it is interesting to me that he needs his PR team. Like, if you decided to drink tomorrow.

• 1:09:15Andrew Santino?

  I'm doing it tomorrow. Today, probably later today.

• 1:09:16Speaker 04

  All right. Well, if you decide, you'd have to have like, and you were known for not drinking.

• 1:09:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it'd be a big deal.

• 1:09:22Speaker 04

  It's like, it's weird, the world we live in, that he has to like.

• 1:09:25Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't wanna be caught at a bar, coming out of a bar and someone being like, uh-oh. Is, is something wrong with his relationship? It's like people just infer nonsense.

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  People do also, if you, if you speak about things on a podcast or in interviews about sobriety.

• 1:09:40Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:09:40Speaker 04

  You could be accused of like co-opting the space to like, get to a cer, you know, like, I think that's probably what he's gonna get at.

• 1:09:46Andrew Santino?

  Everyone's journey's different, man.

• 1:09:46Speaker 04

  Everyone's journey's different.

• 1:09:47Andrew Santino?

  And what was the weight that you said to your father?

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  I, you're gonna have to watch the special.

• 1:09:52Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right. Go watch the special right now.

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  Eight hundred and fifty pounds. I'm so jealous.

• 1:09:57Andrew Santino?

  You're doing, you're doing the whale too?

• 1:09:58Speaker 04

  I am the whale.

• 1:10:01Speaker 04

  My dad would love that joke.

• 1:10:05Speaker 04

  He, he literally, no, my weight is the topic of every conversation of my family. It's all.

• 1:10:10Andrew Santino?

  Is it really?

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  It's all, my parents are obsessed with my body.

• 1:10:12Andrew Santino?

  What is that about Jewish parents and the whole fucking?

• 1:10:14Speaker 04

  We're all, it's, it's the body stuff.

• 1:10:16Andrew Santino?

  Body dysmorphia stuff?

• 1:10:17Speaker 04

  It's all Jewish shit. It's all grain. Yeah, totally, totally.

• 1:10:20Andrew Santino?

  Every Jewish friend I have has a mom who's like nagging about the, about like, anything.

• 1:10:25Speaker 04

  It's very confusing. I went home the other night, my mom goes, take the food, take the food, take the, we got fried rice. There's extra in the fridge. I go to take it and then my dad goes, oh, and do you want these ice cream bars? She goes, he doesn't need it. How did we go from take, take, take, he doesn't need it? Like, it's just, and, and that's the push and pull of it all. Like, also your relationship is based on food a lot.

• 1:10:47Andrew Santino?

  In your family.

• 1:10:48Speaker 04

  I think a lot of Jews, like, a lot of the hangs are food related. What type of food you have. It's a, you know, you, you fasted for Yom Kippur and then you get together for break to fast. Bagels, you know, lox, all that stuff, like, it's all the.

• 1:11:02Andrew Santino?

  That reminds me of the Curb episode where they had to fill in for that guy's funeral. You know? Um, they, Larry's with, uh, Buckner.

• 1:11:10Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:11:10Andrew Santino?

  And they're walking. Do you remember this? And he's like, and you fill, we need, he's like, are you Jewish? He's like, yeah. He's like, we need one more for the.

• 1:11:16Speaker 04

  For the minion.

• 1:11:16Andrew Santino?

  For the min, yeah. And then he goes, he goes, is there food up there? His first question is, what have they got to eat? And none of it was good. And Buckner wanted like a, um, oh God, what did he want? He wanted like a traditional Jewish dish. He's like, yeah, but I want one of those. And Larry's like, let's go Buckner. So good. Uh, watch the special. Please go watch the special. It's out on Netflix right now. Both of them, your, your thirty seven and singles on there, no?

• 1:11:42Speaker 04

  They took it off. I was on the two year lease.

• 1:11:44Andrew Santino?

  Me too. Yeah, I took, yeah, they got me out of the lease.

• 1:11:46Speaker 04

  Nothing feels worse than the entire world. The minute my face got back on Netflix, I was like, I'm back on the platform, baby.

• 1:11:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  It, it felt bad to have it.

• 1:11:54Andrew Santino?

  Taken down?

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  Taken down. It's on my YouTube channel. You can watch it. That special, I'm proud of, this is me as a comedian. This is like, this is.

• 1:12:01Andrew Santino?

  This is you.

• 1:12:01Speaker 04

  This is me.

• 1:12:02Andrew Santino?

  You're honed in.

• 1:12:02Speaker 04

  I'm, it is, I'm proud of it. It's, it's about going to the beach with my parents. My dad asked me how much I weigh. And it's all about the millennial boomer relationship. Being on the family plan, my dad and mom, just our relationship. I did it for two and a half years on the road and like.

• 1:12:17Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:12:17Speaker 04

  Families come, I tell people, and I'm like, send it to your parents. Like.

• 1:12:21Andrew Santino?

  Send it to them.

• 1:12:21Speaker 04

  Send it to them. It's fucking with boomers in a way that's loving, but also giving them shit. And the way we give each other shit.

• 1:12:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we have to. Dude, go watch the special right now. Um, are you back on tour too?

• 1:12:33Speaker 04

  I have one date on my website. Hopefully there'll be more by the time this comes out, but.

• 1:12:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 1:12:37Speaker 04

  No, but I'll be, just go to, just watch the special.

• 1:12:40Andrew Santino?

  Just watch the special. It's the most important thing in the world.

• 1:12:42Speaker 04

  Watch it, share it. And you can see my parents at the end if you get to the end, which.

• 1:12:46Andrew Santino?

  And we also wanna say that we, uh, after all the hub and bob and back and forth, we do love you Philly. Relax. Philly gets so.

• 1:12:52Speaker 04

  We messed up the wrong city. I told them they have the best food.

• 1:12:55Andrew Santino?

  No, I love Philly so much. I just, I, the, the, the, the go, the go Birds thing, I think is, uh, it really irks me, particularly because I'm a Bears fan and we're just such a, we're such a struggle. It's such a struggle.

• 1:13:07Speaker 04

  You beat them in the playoffs last year. This is the thing about being a new Bears fan. I have to talk Bears fans off the ledge.

• 1:13:13Andrew Santino?

  You can't. Good luck.

• 1:13:14Speaker 04

  I know. It gets, the, the stadium gets weird. It's, it's fun to watch.

• 1:13:18Andrew Santino?

  Well, we're moving to Hammond now too.

• 1:13:19Speaker 04

  I wouldn't.

• 1:13:20Andrew Santino?

  Hey, I need to talk inside information off the podcast with you about that. Your brother know anything?

• 1:13:23Speaker 04

  He weirdly don't know info.

• 1:13:25Andrew Santino?

  Nobody knows. I know.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  He's inside the submarine. Like, it's like, well, we'll talk later.

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  I, I just, it's funny to watch the stadium, like, as a sports fan, I kinda know a sports fan vibe.

• 1:13:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:38Speaker 04

  Chicago people are ready to be negative right away. Like, so quick to negativity.

• 1:13:43Andrew Santino?

  It's because we've been let down a lot.

• 1:13:44Speaker 04

  I know. It was like, but when they, when, when Caleb threw that touchdown to like tie it up in the playoffs, I was in the stadium and everyone just went quiet. Like, no one would cheer.

• 1:13:53Andrew Santino?

  You can't believe it.

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  It was a disbelief I have never seen, like, anything like, I've never seen a full stadium just go, um, if we, where's the, where's the flag?

• 1:14:02Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:14:03Speaker 04

  Where's the flag?

• 1:14:03Andrew Santino?

  We're waiting for something bad to drop.

• 1:14:05Speaker 04

  We're waiting.

• 1:14:06Andrew Santino?

  Chicago as a city is waiting for the other shoe to drop. We're like, all right, when's it gonna, when's it gonna happen? Like when Chicago, when the weather gets nice, everybody's like, let's go outside. They're like, it's gonna rain any minute.

• 1:14:15Speaker 04

  Right. It is, there's a negativity there that is like, listen, I'm from Boston, like.

• 1:14:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you guys have it. Yours is butted with racism and ours.

• 1:14:24Speaker 04

  There's a confidence.

• 1:14:26Andrew Santino?

  It's a great day in the park. I hope the blacks don't show up.

• 1:14:29Speaker 04

  Listen, that's not how my family did it. We, us Jews in Boston stayed off and we hung out in Newton and Brookline.

• 1:14:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you go to Newton. Get over that Jew. Go back to Newton.

• 1:14:40Speaker 04

  That's right. Jutin.

• 1:14:41Andrew Santino?

  Go back to Jutin. Watch the special.

• 1:14:43Speaker 04

  Watch the special.

• 1:14:44Andrew Santino?

  Watch the special on Netflix.

• 1:14:45Speaker 04

  Dude, dude, thank you for having me.

• 1:14:47Andrew Santino?

  Thank you for coming. This is amazing. Thank you for making time because we had to reschedule this. And then he's flying out today.

• 1:14:51Speaker 04

  Ferris Bueller of comedy.

• 1:14:52Andrew Santino?

  The Ferris Bueller of comedy. Uh, we end the show the same way. Looking at that camera right there, say one word or one phrase.

• 1:14:58Speaker 04

  Anything?

• 1:14:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, one word or a phrase. You could use a, a phrase, uh, of wisdom. You could say one singular word, whatever comes to your heart.

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  We write to edit.

• 1:15:08Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You with that creature in the ginger beard?

• 1:15:16Speaker 06

  Sturdy and ginger. Like this. The ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the horse. Gingers? Oh, hell no.

• 1:15:27Speaker 03

  The whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:15:35Speaker 00

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