Ron Funches Is Happier Than You (Probably) | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series presented by Fanduel. Andrew Santino sits down with comedian, actor, and professional ray of sunshine Ron Funches for a conversation about stand-up, getting older, fatherhood, finding your voice, professional wrestling, and learning how to actually enjoy your own damn life. Ron also gets into his experience on Season 4 of The Traitors, his love of wrestling, life on the road, and what happens when one of the nicest guys in comedy gets dropped into a castle full of professional liars. Catch Ron Funches live and check out his upcoming tour dates: https://ronfunches.com Follow Ron Funches: https://www.instagram.com/ronfunches Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #RonFunches #ComedyPodcast =================================================== This episode is sponsored by: FANDUEL Play Daily Dingers and make your FREE pick on who’s hitting a homer. http://fanduel.com/whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Andrew Santino?

  Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series presented by FanDuel. Hey, Whiskey Ginger fans. I'm gonna be out there one more time. One more time, October 18th, October 18th. I'm gonna be in Mesa, Arizona, at Sloan Park, where my legendary Chicago Cubs do their spring training out there. I'm gonna be going in front of Mr. Dave Chappelle, the great Dave Chappelle. The night before is gonna be Cigur and Burr and Rachel Feinstein, great people, but get the tickets for the 18th. Huh? Get the tickets for me and Dave Chappelle at Sloan Park. If you're in the Phoenix-Mesa metro area, please come on, see me. Go to Fastball Comedy is the website, fastballcomedy.com to grab those tickets. They will sell out because it's Dave Chappelle.

• 1:13Andrew Santino?

  You know him, you love him, and the old Ginger's going right in front of him. So come out and see us, October 18th, Mesa at Sloan Park, where the Chicago Cubs be playing. Fastballcomedy.com. And check for my dates, I'm gonna be doing tour next year. We'll be starting putting updates slowly but surely at andersonsantino.com. But in the meantime, check me out, October 18th. It's my birthday weekend, come say hi. Enough rambling, let's go to the episode.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  You're that creature in the ginger beard.

• 1:42Speaker 04

  Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers.

• 1:58Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean, once again today, it is the return after a long, long wait, Ron Funches.

• 2:11Andrew Santino?

  I should have done a bigger intro because I do know you're into wrestling. You, or you were, I don't know if you like it anymore.

• 2:16Speaker 05

  Thank you for not just assuming that I still am.

• 2:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you may not be.

• 2:19Speaker 05

  I really appreciate that.

• 2:20Andrew Santino?

  You may not be anymore.

• 2:21Speaker 05

  I'm not as much.

• 2:22Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 2:23Speaker 05

  No.

• 2:23Andrew Santino?

  What happened?

• 2:24Speaker 05

  It's too commercial now.

• 2:25Andrew Santino?

  Ah.

• 2:26Speaker 05

  And now they got like, they just had this big match and this guy who like, he's never had a big championship run ever. His name's Chad Gable. They put him under a mask, they used to call him Shorty G to make fun of him because he's short.

• 2:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 2:38Speaker 05

  And then he like, went through this whole trials and tribulation of like, getting respect and people loving him again. And he finally won a title and they had his family in the ring and it was in front of his hometown in Minnesota. And then they had the mug root beer dog come in and bounce on the ropes and hand him some root beers to chug. And it just like, you would never see that in the middle of an NBA championship.

• 3:01Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 3:01Speaker 05

  Like, hey Jalen, like, chug these root beers with this dog real quick, you know?

• 3:08Andrew Santino?

  Jalen, the Kool-Aid man's gonna bust through the court at 2 minutes and 14 seconds. So just be aware and just drink a little bit and then you can keep playing the game.

• 3:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:17Andrew Santino?

  They might, they might get there though, you say that.

• 3:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, it might, but it just, to me, it just shows like, you know, since they sold it, it just shows the real disrespect that they have for the audience.

• 3:25Andrew Santino?

  Who did it, who bought it?

• 3:26Speaker 05

  Uh, TKO.

• 3:28Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 3:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:29Andrew Santino?

  Is that the Fertitta Brothers?

• 3:31Speaker 05

  UFC and all that stuff.

• 3:32Andrew Santino?

  Fertitta Brothers, or Fertitta, so one of those two, I don't know what the, yeah. Well, the world is, the world is changing, monetize, monetize, monetize.

• 3:38Speaker 05

  Truly.

• 3:38Andrew Santino?

  You gotta do it, gotta do it, gotta do it.

• 3:40Speaker 05

  Why not?

• 3:40Andrew Santino?

  I guess, I guess that's the world.

• 3:41Speaker 05

  Good for them, they're making more money than ever.

• 3:43Andrew Santino?

  They are, when we were kids, it wasn't like that, yeah. The wrestling space wasn't like that at all.

• 3:46Speaker 05

  No.

• 3:47Andrew Santino?

  Didn't, but it felt more homegrown backpack underground or whatever you wanna call it, where it felt more like you were in a secret club.

• 3:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what I've been about my whole life really, is things that either you get it and you see this whole world in it and you see the beauty of it, or you don't see any, you know, value in it at all. And you both can be right, you know?

• 4:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 4:10Speaker 05

  To me, that's what I love about comedy, it's what I love about wrestling, what I love about hip hop, you know?

• 4:14Andrew Santino?

  That's what I loved about hip hop the most.

• 4:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:17Andrew Santino?

  Although I did see an interview with Andre 3000 that made me laugh so hard this morning that he was like, they were like, are you not gonna rap anymore? And he's like, well, I don't know what I'm rapping about right now, I'm older. He's like, did people wanna hear about colonoscopies? I don't know. He's like, maybe, but I doubt it. He's like, do I wanna talk about my back hurting?

• 4:31Speaker 05

  I do.

• 4:31Andrew Santino?

  See, I, we can relate.

• 4:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:33Andrew Santino?

  But I did think it was interesting because he was like, I don't think I have a lot of raps right now to give you.

• 4:36Speaker 05

  I think people, especially the rappers, they feel like tied in, like that they, we only wanna hear about guns and sex and butts, but we don't. One of my favorite rappers is this guy named Don Tripp and he mostly just raps about being a single father and like co-parenting issues.

• 4:54Andrew Santino?

  That's sweet.

• 4:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:55Andrew Santino?

  Cause that's a real issue.

• 4:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm like, oh, I get you, thank you.

• 4:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, we do wanna hear about money, butts, guns, and drugs, but we also wanna hear about pain and trials and tribulations, divorce, death, you know? Uh, sad things that happen.

• 5:09Speaker 05

  Or if you just had a good day.

• 5:10Andrew Santino?

  Or if you had a great day.

• 5:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:12Andrew Santino?

  There's a couple of rappers that do great day raps, but you can't, you have to mix it in with other stuff.

• 5:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:17Andrew Santino?

  So Don Trippin', that's his name?

• 5:18Speaker 05

  Don Tripp.

• 5:19Andrew Santino?

  Don Tripp.

• 5:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, you tried to add extra urban to it.

• 5:22Andrew Santino?

  Why did I do that?

• 5:25Andrew Santino?

  Don Tripp. Well, shout out to Don Tripp, let's look him up, let's make sure that we have him as a part of our future now, Don Tripp. I'm just an old school guy, we've talked about this before, I'm just, I guess I just, it's more nostalgia for me. Uh, new hip hop is great, but old for me just was, I just liked that it was kind of, um, I don't know. There's, there's still an underground, I don't keep up with it, but I like the grindiness of it.

• 5:47Speaker 05

  I mean, the same, you know, with comedy, that's why I tried that, cause I hate it when people then go like, oh, all the, I hate it when so many people, they're like, there's no good comedians. I'll post a clip and they'll be like, oh, I miss comedians that I like, like Richard Pryor and George Carlin. I'm like, that's the only two you know?

• 6:03Andrew Santino?

  That's it, that's all they like.

• 6:04Speaker 05

  That's all you've known since, so you haven't watched comedy since the 70s?

• 6:08Andrew Santino?

  It's a long time, man.

• 6:09Speaker 05

  That's a long time. You haven't watched comedy in 50 years? That's insane.

• 6:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I don't like, well, that bothers me when older people do that to me when they go, if I, let's say I show someone, you know, like, let's say if I showed you to like a family member. Someone's like, yeah, no, it's very funny, it's very funny, you know who I, you know who I used to really love? And they name someone like that generation and you're like, that, that, it was a moment in time. Like, I, I think Dr. J was great too.

• 6:35Andrew Santino?

  Do you not know there's other Hoopers now? I just feel like that's a weird perspective to only go, these, well, those artists, I really understood, these new comedians, I don't get them. And it, maybe it's because there's too much comedy and there's overexposure, so people that don't have the patience, they check out.

• 6:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:51Andrew Santino?

  Cause it's every, it's everywhere now.

• 6:53Speaker 05

  Well, it's just anytime you have a thing where there's no verification, there's no like certificate to get to be like, I put in the hours and I'm a comedian. It's a self-defined job. Any self-defined job is gonna be full of people who, like, it's one of the few things where it's like, the better you get at it, the more people think that they could do what you do because you make it look easy.

• 7:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but you do make it look easy.

• 7:14Speaker 05

  I do make it.

• 7:15Andrew Santino?

  But you've been doing that for a long time, Ron, that's a problem. When we were young even, Ron was, Ron was on and I thought, people are gonna think that they can do that.

• 7:26Andrew Santino?

  It's giving people false hope. Yeah, you really do get humbled as a comedian when the real world steps into play. Our, um, our AC furnace kicked and the electrician came, uh, who's kind of like a jack of all trades. This guy knows everything, he's like certified in five different things, you know, he can like plumbing, pipe, electrician, he can do everything. And the guy goes upstairs and he's like looking at stuff and he's like showing me the fuse and changing out the wire. And he was like, and do you understand how this wire got disconnected in the first place? And I was like, come on, man.

• 7:53Speaker 05

  No.

• 7:53Andrew Santino?

  No, you're an applicable skilled person.

• 7:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:56Andrew Santino?

  I'm a subjective skilled, I can be replaced easily.

• 7:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:59Andrew Santino?

  You, we need, you know knowledge and things. Me, when the time comes, the revolution comes, they're gonna save a few gestures. I don't think we're all gonna make the cut.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  Well, that's been one of my jokes lately where I talk about how there, I think you saw it recently, where there's just no such thing as an alpha male comedian to me because like, we don't have those type of skills.

• 8:18Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 8:18Speaker 05

  Like, none of us are really like that.

• 8:20Andrew Santino?

  Nope.

• 8:20Speaker 05

  We're the people, like, when you watch House of the Dragon, where like, there's the fighters and then there's the women watching, sitting on pillows next to guys who are injured or just effeminate, that's us.

• 8:33Andrew Santino?

  We're injured effeminate.

• 8:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:35Andrew Santino?

  People from the community.

• 8:36Speaker 05

  He's being like, oh, look at him over there.

• 8:40Andrew Santino?

  That is kind of who we all are.

• 8:41Speaker 05

  That's who we are.

• 8:42Andrew Santino?

  We can put on a, we can put on a show that we're this domineering character on stage, but the real truth is, we can, we can do almost nothing in the real world.

• 8:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  Application is low.

• 8:51Speaker 05

  No.

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he checked me down, too. Not, I wasn't questioning him. I was like, well, is that the same kind of wire that, that, that this is? And I showed him, and he was like, no.

• 9:03Andrew Santino?

  I was, cause I was like, I think I have one of those. He's like, you don't. I promise. You don't know. You don't know.

• 9:08Speaker 05

  You pulled out a Playstation 2 controller.

• 9:11Andrew Santino?

  Now, would this connect to the AC unit by any chance? Because this is a good wire. Yeah, no, he, it, it, it re, um, it just re-ups, uh, it's ego death in a good way when you can't fix stuff. Like, my father-in-law is, built his, their childhood home with his hands. And it's the most intimidating thing in the world, cause he'll go, uh, did you guys, what are you gonna do with that? Something around the house. And I'll be like, you know, we're, we're thinking about, uh, can you do it? Do you know how to do that? And he's like, yeah, what do you mean? I can fix that in seconds. I'm like, thank you. Thank you for that.

• 9:42Speaker 05

  No, I know. I mean, I have people come over and like do the landscaping of my yard and stuff, and like, they have no respect for me.

• 9:49Andrew Santino?

  Nor should they, to be honest with you. No.

• 9:51Speaker 05

  No, I walk in and they don't even say hi. They don't talk, because they know I like, I can't answer any questions. I don't even, no, they just like, no, this guy barely knows what he's doing.

• 10:01Andrew Santino?

  Right. I do think when they come around, they should, they should verbally go, back inside with you. Back inside. You don't belong out here. Let us do what we're supposed to do. Get out of our way. Ron Funches, by the way, first of all, are those bull socks?

• 10:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, they are.

• 10:17Andrew Santino?

  Hey, hey.

• 10:18Speaker 05

  Hey, nice, yeah.

• 10:19Andrew Santino?

  Chicago Bull Socks. I like that. I like that. I like that.

• 10:21Speaker 05

  But we got Caleb now.

• 10:22Andrew Santino?

  Well.

• 10:23Speaker 05

  We got two Caleb's in Chicago.

• 10:25Andrew Santino?

  Yes. I don't want to say anything, cause I feel like every time I do, I preemptively jinx everything and anything. I did, did you?

• 10:31Speaker 05

  No, he looks good.

• 10:32Andrew Santino?

  Okay, I do, I agree. We'll see. I, I just, I, uh, rooting for Chicago sports has been the bane of my existence my whole life, so every time I get excited.

• 10:42Speaker 05

  It just, uh, cause we're a similar age, I think. And so, cause you wake up and you go like, boom, championship, championship, championship. We'll take two years off to let him just deal with some gambling stuff and, and grief, and then come back championship, championship, championship. This is just how we do.

• 10:58Andrew Santino?

  That's how we do.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  And then you go thirty fucking years.

• 11:02Andrew Santino?

  Not anticipated. Did not see that coming.

• 11:05Speaker 05

  Eddie Curry, didn't see that coming at all.

• 11:08Andrew Santino?

  So hard, dude. So hard. Well, also, I just saw they just retired, uh, we retired Rose, you know, we did like a ceremony for Rose. And, uh, I think one of the coolest responses Derrick Rose had, they interviewed him about LeBron going to Philly. I don't know if you saw this clip, it's incredible, but they were like, what do you think about that? And he's like, I don't play basketball anymore, man. I'm worried about myself and my family and my life. And I was like, good for you, dude.

• 11:32Speaker 05

  That's classic Derrick Rose. That's that favorite All-Star clip, the clip of him at the All-Star game, and they're all dancing and busting down because LeBron told him to. And then he's just like, nah.

• 11:45Andrew Santino?

  He's the man, dude. But I, just the way, it was so classy, the response to be like, I'm not of, I know you're looking for a soundbite. You're not gonna get it. I'm not interested, man. Whatever in that space. He's like, I'm focused on me, my retirement, my family, enjoying the second half of my life. And I just was like, God, I miss that fucking guy.

• 12:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:03Andrew Santino?

  I loved him so much. But, but, uh, anyway, uh, uh, what I want to say up top, because we were talking about it before, was you're going back to the UK to perform, and it's been a while.

• 12:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:13Andrew Santino?

  I'm excited for you. We just got, I just got back from the UK. I did not perform, but I had the itch. I kind of felt like I should when I was there, like, maybe I should call a club and, I was taking a vacation.

• 12:21Speaker 05

  You were just on holiday?

• 12:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, holiday. I was on holiday. And I thought, should I go pop into somewhere? And my buddy Sean, who was with me, Sean was like, do it, let's do it. And I thought, no, I, I don't know. Sometimes, uh, my wife will say that. She'll be like, dude, to take, just, if you're off, be off.

• 12:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, I agree.

• 12:38Andrew Santino?

  But it's really difficult. It's getting easier as we get older. But when I was young, you were like, what am I doing? I'm not, if I'm not doing it.

• 12:44Speaker 05

  I'm losing skills.

• 12:45Andrew Santino?

  I know, it feels like you're, it feels like people are still building, and, and they're like, hey, man, we're gonna be up top if you're not gonna be up here.

• 12:50Speaker 05

  But no, then you find out what you're really missing is life and stuff, and doing stuff with your family, who will get mad at you and start building resentment.

• 12:59Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right, dude. You need, you need to take time off when you're taking time off. But you're touring, you're doing what? What are you doing? Let me guess. You're gonna do, uh, you're gonna do England, you'll do Scotland, Ireland, Amsterdam?

• 13:13Speaker 05

  I'm gonna do, oh, I'm doing Scotland.

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  Yep.

• 13:16Speaker 05

  Wait, no, am I doing Scotland? No, I'm doing Ireland.

• 13:18Andrew Santino?

  Ireland, okay.

• 13:19Speaker 05

  I'm not Scotland.

• 13:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we're different people.

• 13:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:21Andrew Santino?

  We're different.

• 13:21Speaker 05

  We're doing Ireland, I'm doing London, I'm doing Manchester, uh, Amsterdam, and Cardiff.

• 13:28Andrew Santino?

  Awesome.

• 13:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:29Andrew Santino?

  Cardiff by the sea. Have you been to Cardiff before?

• 13:31Speaker 05

  Never.

• 13:32Andrew Santino?

  Beautiful. Man, you're gonna have so much fun. Now, are you bringing, when you go to Europe on these trips, cause we just dealt with it when we went to Australia, was, it's a lot of people that we had to bring along for our big crew, but is it just you and one opener?

• 13:42Speaker 05

  It's just me and my friend who's playing the trombones.

• 13:45Andrew Santino?

  Sick.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  And he's just a friend of mine, and he's coming for fun.

• 13:48Andrew Santino?

  That's amazing.

• 13:49Speaker 05

  It's gonna be a great time, and I'm, see if I can find some local openers for me.

• 13:52Andrew Santino?

  Smart.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  But that's about it.

• 13:54Andrew Santino?

  So are you, are you, is he playing while you're on stage, or is it opening the show?

• 13:57Speaker 05

  I think I'll have him open the show. We haven't even really talked about it, but I just told him to bring his trombone.

• 14:02Andrew Santino?

  Just bring this, and then we'll figure it out when we get there.

• 14:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:05Andrew Santino?

  I would love to see you do like a piece with him playing while you're on stage telling jokes.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  I do do that sometimes. I do, um, show with a band that I do at the Improv Lab.

• 14:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I think you should, I think that's what Europe needs. They need Ron with trombone.

• 14:18Speaker 05

  I, I agree with you.

• 14:19Andrew Santino?

  I mean, we talk, I think I talked about this the other day on here, that one of the best specials I ever saw in my entire life was The Purple Onion with Zach. When, when he had, uh, had the piano, and I thought, no one else is gonna be able to do this like that.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  That's classic. That's one of my favorites, too.

• 14:32Andrew Santino?

  It's one of the best. It's, it just, there's something about that. If people don't know, go watch live at The Purple Onion, Galifianakis. It was, it was just groundbreaking for the, I, there were people doing a lot of experimental music comedy stuff at the time, but to film it in a special, I think, was oddly not a risk, but it was, right? You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't like he was, it wasn't like, ooh, we'll see if they like it. But no one was kind of doing that at that, that style, where it was kind of raw, shot, filthy, dirty.

• 14:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, especially for a guy who was coming up and had the hangover coming out and all these things coming out, that become this big mainstream comic, that at the same time to deliver this very small and very, like, full point of view of what he wanted comedy to be like, and just this very old-school jazzy feel. To do that at the same time, becoming the biggest actor, comedian in the world is pretty amazing.

• 15:24Andrew Santino?

  It's pretty impressive, man. I always get jealous of stuff like that. Now I like see his gardening show, I don't know if you've seen it, but I'm like, well, he's just having fun. He like, he made it to the top, and I was like, I think I'm just gonna have fun.

• 15:33Speaker 05

  Do side, yeah, side projects now. It's so fun.

• 15:36Andrew Santino?

  It's great. Um, just so we're on the same page, uh, or on the same topic again, though, but please go see Ron when he's in Europe. If you're a European and you're watching this show, I know I've said a lot of bad things about Scottish food. I take it back, but he's not even going to Scotland.

• 15:48Speaker 05

  No.

• 15:49Andrew Santino?

  I just went.

• 15:49Speaker 05

  I've been saying a lot of food, bad things about food in UK in general, especially bread, and then they have not been taking it well.

• 15:55Andrew Santino?

  They don't take it well.

• 15:56Speaker 05

  So that's been one of the reasons why I come here and try to be like.

• 15:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, please buy the tickets to the show. It would be nice.

• 16:01Speaker 05

  I didn't know you were not gonna take it, that, I, they took it very poorly, as I'm sure you do. I was just like, oh, potatoes with beans and tuna, that's, seems weird. And then they were like, well, your kids get shot in school.

• 16:15Andrew Santino?

  They do say that a lot.

• 16:17Speaker 05

  Right away.

• 16:17Andrew Santino?

  That is their, that's their first school shootings. Yes, yes, that is, well, and they're not wrong.

• 16:23Speaker 05

  They're not wrong.

• 16:24Andrew Santino?

  They're not wrong, unfortunately. Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 05

  But it's like, oh, you guys are supposed to be witty.

• 16:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I thought that'd be something more clever.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's too easy. A little on the nose.

• 16:32Speaker 05

  Right away.

• 16:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, easy, easy, low-hanging fruit. Yes, school shootings, blah, blah, blah. I like how we roll over it. Oh, big deal, yeah. Big deal, you're up.

• 16:41Speaker 05

  You're still eating beans and tuna.

• 16:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, that's on you, pal. That's your shit. I will say, the food in London, the food in, in London specifically, because there's so many, um, new restaurants there now, surprised me last time we went there. We were a little shocked.

• 16:57Speaker 05

  Oh, there's always good food. Every, I mean, but we're talking about like Indian food and food from people that they colonized and things of that nature.

• 17:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's exactly right.

• 17:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:03Andrew Santino?

  That's what they did the best. They were number one.

• 17:05Speaker 05

  Number one, at that.

• 17:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they call us the worst racist, but I don't know. England, you guys kind of led the charge.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:11Andrew Santino?

  Started it.

• 17:12Speaker 05

  And that's again, I found, I found I posted my thing, that was, they were like, how dare you make fun of our potatoes when we, we freed the slaves before Lincoln? I'm like, oh, I didn't, oh, I apologize. Oh, my bad.

• 17:23Andrew Santino?

  My bad.

• 17:24Speaker 05

  My bad. I didn't know I was supposed to be paying you guys back for that. My bad.

• 17:28Andrew Santino?

  It's called rep reparations, so it's reprehensive reparations. It has to go both ways.

• 17:32Speaker 05

  I'm not allowed to make fun of your potatoes.

• 17:33Andrew Santino?

  Cannot. No, you may not. And by the way, uh, Ron will be doing an hour all on your food. It will be one full hour, so go see him live. All about beans and tuna. I don't know if you've seen the show, but it's called Beans and Tuna. It's gonna be on Netflix in a couple of years.

• 17:45Speaker 05

  I'm taking Greg's down a notch.

• 17:50Andrew Santino?

  They do so much right. I want to give them credit. I will say tea time and the finger, the little finger sandwiches.

• 17:55Speaker 05

  Oh, pastries. They crush.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 17:57Speaker 05

  They crush a baked good. Oh my god, custard on things. Love what they do with custard over there.

• 18:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  But savory items?

• 18:06Andrew Santino?

  Savory stuff.

• 18:08Speaker 05

  And that's a whole genre.

• 18:10Andrew Santino?

  Big category of food. Yeah, they miss on that. But they do know how to drink. They are fun to go out and have fun.

• 18:15Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 18:15Andrew Santino?

  But are you on the sauce or are you no sauce?

• 18:17Speaker 05

  No, I've never drank.

• 18:18Andrew Santino?

  No sauce, yeah. No sauce. I figured by now maybe you'd be dabbling.

• 18:20Speaker 05

  No, you'd think so.

• 18:22Andrew Santino?

  Well, I don't know. I mean, people go through phases.

• 18:23Speaker 05

  I've been thinking about that with homosexuality, but...

• 18:25Andrew Santino?

  That's the same thing. Drinking is, drinking is the gateway to doing gay stuff.

• 18:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:29Andrew Santino?

  That is really why I do it.

• 18:30Speaker 05

  I'm like, I'm gonna start doing coke.

• 18:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:32Speaker 05

  Getting gay.

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, dude. And that is the, that is the, that's the road you take. And this is all to cover up for my, my deeply closeted feelings. That's all this is.

• 18:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what everyone says, yeah.

• 18:42Andrew Santino?

  I know, trust me. Trust me, I know.

• 18:45Speaker 05

  I watch the videos.

• 18:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you know. Santino's gay. Why doesn't he come out? Because I'm not ready, okay?

• 18:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, same.

• 18:53Andrew Santino?

  Let me do it on my time. Leave me alone.

• 18:56Speaker 05

  That's always been the weird thing to me, when, when people say I'm gay. I'm like, wow, I'm, I'm leaving so much money on the table there.

• 19:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, can you imagine?

• 19:03Speaker 05

  So many, like, Pride Month, I could be raking.

• 19:06Andrew Santino?

  Huge, huge. You'd have your own float.

• 19:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, come on.

• 19:08Andrew Santino?

  The Funches float? I'm on it. I'm on the Funches float. You're leading the charge. Well, we, maybe we should. Maybe this is the episode that we do it. I mean, I, I don't know. Are you still smoking weed?

• 19:17Speaker 05

  Hard to launch our relationship, yeah.

• 19:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you are. Good. I stopped smoking.

• 19:20Speaker 05

  Did you?

• 19:21Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'm still consuming. Uh, my doctor was like, uh...

• 19:25Speaker 05

  Up the butt now.

• 19:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just up the butt. Yeah. All suppository THC. No, I'm, I'm drinking and eating. Drinking and eating it. No more, not as much smoking anymore.

• 19:36Speaker 05

  Now, how are you eating it?

• 19:38Andrew Santino?

  Uh, gummies, uh, and other food items that I buy at this local shop that they've got. They have like cookies they've got. But drinking big.

• 19:49Speaker 05

  I don't like to add in, I mean, calories always been one of my struggles. So I don't like to add the extra calories with the...

• 19:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, the drinks are good. They're only 30 calories for the drinks that I do.

• 19:57Speaker 05

  I like a little tablet every now and then.

• 20:00Andrew Santino?

  That's good.

• 20:00Speaker 05

  But yeah, I like smoking now.

• 20:02Andrew Santino?

  I love smoking. I think my doctor was like, uh, was like, are you smoking a lot? And I was like, I'd been smoking more than not, and I admitted to him. He's like, why don't you just try switching it? Not for like, he was like, I see something, but he was like, try eating more or drinking it. And so then I switched, and since then, I'll still, I'll still smoke a joint, uh, every once in a while, but more than ever now. Like last night, we went to a show, and the wife and I pounded a couple of drinks, and they're great, man. They're really good. I think they hit, they hit you nice and smooth and slow. The edibles...

• 20:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, crap shoot.

• 20:35Andrew Santino?

  Edibles, they can get you. But the drinks, I feel like I can control, because the drinks, it's pretty dope.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  What about mushrooms? You microdose at all?

• 20:40Andrew Santino?

  I do love mushrooms. I haven't done them in a little while, but I do, I take the little mushroom gummies when I golf.

• 20:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:45Andrew Santino?

  Those I love.

• 20:45Speaker 05

  Oh, that sounds like a beautiful day.

• 20:46Andrew Santino?

  They're fantastic. It's, it is my promotion for, for people that don't like golf, and they're like, it's a stupid dumb game. Think about it like this. Take a little bit of mushrooms with, with one or two of your very good friends and walk through a park for a few hours, and play a game if you want. And if you don't want, sit in the cart.

• 21:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:03Andrew Santino?

  It's not that big of a deal. It's actually not that deep. I think when people like have slowly learned for COVID, there are a lot of guys I know started to play, because they were like, we're just outside and we can just consume things if we want to and enjoy nature. I was like, yeah, it's kind of the thing.

• 21:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, I've been wanting to get more in. I play a lot of mini golf. I play mini golf in, in just about every city I go to on tour, I try to find...

• 21:23Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 21:24Speaker 05

  If they got a good mini golf. A mini golf place and a Pilates studio.

• 21:27Andrew Santino?

  Pilates? Is this your thing now?

• 21:29Speaker 05

  It's my thing now.

• 21:30Andrew Santino?

  Big Pilates. Weren't you into yoga for a little while?

• 21:32Speaker 05

  For a little bit. I used to do the Stone Yoga class for a while, and I do jiu-jitsu as well, but that's about it.

• 21:38Andrew Santino?

  That's not about it. That's a lot.

• 21:39Speaker 05

  Jiu-jitsu and Pilates.

• 21:40Andrew Santino?

  Jiu-jitsu and Pilates, like the polar opposite, right?

• 21:42Speaker 05

  No, they're actually very helpful for each other, because they're all hip and core.

• 21:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, hip and core.

• 21:47Speaker 05

  A lot of hipping out, a lot of using your, your core to, to frame up against stuff. And then, and so for Pilates, it's been, Pilates has helped my jiu-jitsu quite a bit.

• 21:55Andrew Santino?

  Are you in jiu-jitsu, or, because I'm very ignorant, uh, are you, um, uh, are going up against someone all the time, or no?

• 22:05Speaker 05

  Uh, I mean, I usually do one-on-ones with, uh, this, my, my coach, his name's Jay Zabala, or my professor, I guess is what you would call him.

• 22:12Andrew Santino?

  They're professors. I love that. Professor X, yeah.

• 22:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, Professor Z.

• 22:17Andrew Santino?

  Professor Z, that's right. I'm, I'm, I'm, a lot of my friends are into it. One of my, one of my best friends from home is a big jiu-jitsu guy. He's got his kid into it, kids into it, and he loves it. He's like, you would love it. But I know my anxieties, and I know I would not.

• 22:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, I heard, I love it. I didn't think I would love it. I tried it once and just was real into it, and, um, liked the spirituality of it, the focus of it. I think it's helped my acting a lot.

• 22:40Andrew Santino?

  That's great.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  You really have to like, be like, oh, tell your body to do something and respond. And when I went to Budapest, I just did this, my first action movie, and I was doing a lot of like pratfalls and stunts, and I really was like, oh, if I had not been doing jiu-jitsu and Pilates, I don't think I could be doing this.

• 22:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. How'd you find Budapest?

• 22:58Speaker 05

  Uh, I liked it for like two weeks, but I was there for six, so...

• 23:02Andrew Santino?

  Could you have spread those two weeks out over the six? Like, liked it for two days, didn't like it for four?

• 23:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, I tried, yeah. Yeah, I mean, actually, kinda, yeah.

• 23:10Andrew Santino?

  That's the goal. You're like, I like this. Did you go to the hot springs?

• 23:12Speaker 05

  I did.

• 23:12Andrew Santino?

  The baths?

• 23:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, I did, yeah.

• 23:14Andrew Santino?

  I shot like a little thing there, and I stayed there, and we really enjoyed my time, only because I was there for a week and some change. So I did the Funches version that you wanted to live.

• 23:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, I just think six weeks away from your family, anytime unless you hate your family, is like...

• 23:29Andrew Santino?

  Many people at home do hate their families, so...

• 23:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, and that's understandable. Maybe they did bad things to you.

• 23:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you know, I don't know, I don't know what happened, but I do think, take, go to Budapest then if you need to get away.

• 23:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 23:38Andrew Santino?

  It is beautiful. It is stunning. Stunning, man. We went to a concert out at the, uh, it was called the Ziggit Festival, I'm mispronouncing it for sure, but there's little islands that separate Buddha and Pesh.

• 23:50Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:51Andrew Santino?

  And on one of those big islands, uh, there was a concert, and my wife and I were like, we saw a flyer for a band called The Editors. I don't know if you're familiar with them at all, but I loved them for a long, long time there, and I was like, oh my god, the fucking editors are there. And she was like, do you want to go? And I just looked, and I was like, it's today. Like, it was just a flyer in the street.

• 24:11Speaker 05

  Beautiful thing. I saw Grandmaster Flash like that in Amsterdam, just being there and being like, oh, he's here.

• 24:16Andrew Santino?

  Oh, dude. Doesn't that do something? You're in, and by the way, the concert was that much better because of a lack of preparation, because of a lack of knowledge of like, any, we didn't know how to get there. We didn't know if there was like, did we have to take a bus? Was there transportation? Like, you know, what time do sets start? We just showed up, and we got to see them, and we got to see, um, stupid guy. What's my name? What's her name? Janelle Monae. Janelle Monae. Janelle Monae.

• 24:40Speaker 05

  Nice.

• 24:41Andrew Santino?

  Do a main stage show.

• 24:42Speaker 05

  Hell, yeah.

• 24:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I kind of fell face first. Like, when you fall into those things when you're on the road, you're like, this is...

• 24:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, it's one of the things where you go like, oh, I made the right decision with my life, because it's bringing me to places where just cool, weird shit's happening.

• 24:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Yeah. Budapest, I did like, interesting though, how it's like, the center of Budapest, um, is like so rich with like stuff, and then you go out where those springs are, and you're like, hmm.

• 25:06Speaker 05

  There's nothing here, no.

• 25:06Andrew Santino?

  It's wild. It's a lot, post, post-war.

• 25:09Speaker 05

  And it's also definitely, because like, you know, he's there for work, and like, everyone else is there for work. It's not a very touristy, it's not, you go to some places and they seem like, thank you for visiting, so happy to be here, and you go to Bud, and they're like, if you don't speak Hungarian, we, we, fuck you.

• 25:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, fuck you, you're out. Yeah, they look at you, and you're like, they're like, uh, but I agree. They don't have to try.

• 25:28Speaker 05

  And then not many black people there either, so that was an interesting experience.

• 25:32Andrew Santino?

  And that was by request. They said that. Not many black people, yeah.

• 25:36Speaker 05

  You can tell, yeah, by the way, they do their haircuts. They're like, keep them out. We're going, if you come here, we'll fuck your hairline up.

• 25:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we're gonna fuck you up, dude.

• 25:44Speaker 05

  We'll fuck your hairline straight up.

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  You better bring a barber, because we are not gonna have one for you.

• 25:48Speaker 05

  No.

• 25:52Andrew Santino?

  That is true. It is, it is a, it is a very, um, hmm, hmm, it's a very white land. It's a very Hungarian land. Yes, you do see...

• 26:01Speaker 05

  They were having some type of like historical day, when there was a parade going on, and they were just dressed up in old timey, uh, dress, and then walking around. And I found out later, it's because they have a strong horse culture, but I just walk outside, and there's people wearing old school hats and old school dress, and they're just cracking whips. And I'm like, this is not...

• 26:20Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 26:20Speaker 05

  This is not the place for me.

• 26:21Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no. The whip seems remarkably unnecessary. Did we need the whips, guys? We get the hats. Okay. They're on hats, robes, and whips. I don't know if the whips are the thing. You imagine one guy was like, dude, we don't need the whips. And someone was like...

• 26:38Speaker 05

  The sound.

• 26:39Andrew Santino?

  The sound, we need the sound.

• 26:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:40Andrew Santino?

  We need the sound.

• 26:41Speaker 05

  Still know we're coming.

• 26:44Andrew Santino?

  No, but it's a lo, it is a lovely place, getting to explore was, was very fun.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  Goulash delicious.

• 26:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, man.

• 26:49Speaker 05

  Pepper cast chicken, wonderful.

• 26:50Andrew Santino?

  So that's hard when you're on the road, because I know you're on your health kick all the time. Like, since I've met you too, and you've done an amazing job of keeping up with all that stuff, because I know it's a nightmare, especially when we're on the road, do you find yourself when you're shooting in a place that you, that it's hard to keep up?

• 27:05Speaker 05

  It was actually very easy, because besides those two things I just named, I didn't like anything.

• 27:10Andrew Santino?

  You didn't like the other food? No, you couldn't do it?

• 27:11Speaker 05

  One time on set, they just gave us stewed cherries, cheese, and rice.

• 27:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 27:16Speaker 05

  And I was like, okay.

• 27:18Andrew Santino?

  Breakfast.

• 27:20Andrew Santino?

  Okay, thanks. Yeah, okay. I do, it is funny when you don't get the, I guess it is easier than, you know, I find myself getting into the sloppy, you know, I'll just eat whatever crap I can find, and then I'll eat more sweets and snacks when I'm on the road.

• 27:34Speaker 05

  Eat more, like, because I never eat McDonald's and stuff, but I find myself like, because when she's there for too long, I'm like, I'm like, just give me something I recognize. And so I would end up eating McDonald's and stuff. But I just also found a Pilates studio there, ran by a mother and daughter.

• 27:46Andrew Santino?

  Beautiful.

• 27:47Speaker 05

  It was a great time.

• 27:48Andrew Santino?

  Family.

• 27:48Speaker 05

  It was family, yeah. She was one of the most unfit people I've ever seen in my life, so it just gave me a, a, a nice thing to go do every other day.

• 27:57Andrew Santino?

  Every other day you would go.

• 27:58Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:58Andrew Santino?

  That's really good.

• 27:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:59Andrew Santino?

  Ron, you keep up better than anybody I know.

• 28:01Speaker 05

  I try, because it's always a struggle. There's always people make fun of me online. They're like, you're so fat, and you don't work out. I go, I do ju, I could beat the shit out of you, like, jiu-jitsu.

• 28:09Andrew Santino?

  Come say hi to me in public.

• 28:10Speaker 05

  I do so much to stay this, to be as chubby as I am with the workout I do. Like, it's incredible.

• 28:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, they don't know. And you know what, by the way? Um, I saw that Jonah Hill episode about him doing, you know, that, that interview on Smartless. In the words of Jonah Hill, for you to say, fuck around and find out.

• 28:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, come find out. Come see Ron. Come say hi and see, uh, how tough you think you are. Call him fat to his face, and see how that works out for you.

• 28:33Speaker 05

  I'll probably, I mean, I don't want to...

• 28:35Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no.

• 28:40Andrew Santino?

  Do you hear, funches went to jail for like murdering two people? While they were fucking around and they found out?

• 28:46Speaker 05

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 28:49Andrew Santino?

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• 29:35Andrew Santino?

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• 30:23Andrew Santino?

  No, because you know what it is? You have always been, since I've known you, you are a sensitive, sweet, caring, lovable human. But I know deep down inside, you've still got, still got some punch in there.

• 30:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, oh, yeah, everybody knows that. Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 30:40Andrew Santino?

  But that's why someone would say some dumb shit online and poke the bear.

• 30:43Speaker 05

  Is where, yeah, that's why I protect myself, because I know, I'm like, oh, you'll fuck shit up.

• 30:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you don't wanna be that guy.

• 30:50Speaker 05

  I don't wanna fuck shit up.

• 30:50Andrew Santino?

  No, because you've got kids, you don't wanna do that. Kids, you know what I mean? Well, kids now, no, your kid's old now, older.

• 30:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I got a four-year-old too.

• 30:57Andrew Santino?

  Right, you got a young one. The old one's gotta be 17.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  23.

• 31:00Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck?

• 31:00Speaker 05

  I know.

• 31:01Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit, your kid's an adult.

• 31:03Speaker 05

  He's a full-on, yeah.

• 31:04Andrew Santino?

  God, that's crazy.

• 31:05Speaker 05

  One of my openers is one year older than him.

• 31:08Andrew Santino?

  That's wild.

• 31:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:10Andrew Santino?

  That's wild, 23. Wow, and now, now, he's 23 years old, he's fully grown now. But then you have, you're starting over with the young one. Does that, is that gap, like, did they get on at all or no?

• 31:23Speaker 05

  Um, it's actually real beautiful. It's forced my oldest, you know, who was more severe on the autism spectrum to kinda like, grow up and be like, I got someone else to look after and stuff. He's a really good big brother. He really looks after his, his little brother. And he, and in turn, his little brother like loves the shit out of him and looks up to him and will, I can use him to like make him do stuff that he won't do for me. And that's been beautiful to see is, and it's really cool, because like, I have like three players, we play three-player Smash Brothers. And that's pretty fun.

• 31:58Andrew Santino?

  So you created exactly what you wanted.

• 31:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, and then my son, my youngest son turns to my, his older brother and just looks at him and goes, "We're the Smash Brothers." And I was like, "Fuck."

• 32:07Andrew Santino?

  Fuck, I did it.

• 32:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:10Andrew Santino?

  I can die now.

• 32:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:11Andrew Santino?

  Okay, Lord, go ahead, take me. We're the Smash Brothers, and you're like, "Dad out."

• 32:17Andrew Santino?

  You did it. That is, that is incredible. See, I grew up, only child, so I had to go snag friends to come over to the house. Like, I didn't have this luxury. You have, did you have a brother?

• 32:25Speaker 05

  Mm-mm.

• 32:25Andrew Santino?

  No, see?

• 32:26Speaker 05

  I have a sister.

• 32:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but, did you play, yeah, it's...

• 32:29Speaker 05

  I played Pretty, Pretty Princess.

• 32:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, sure, and yes, yes, you have to play dress up and, yeah. When you were always the prettiest, prettiest little princess, weren't you?

• 32:35Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 32:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, my sister was, the age gap for us was huge, so it was really hard. We became friends as adults. Because we were 10-year difference. So like, I was done with college by the time she didn't even get to high school, so that was just hard with that gap. You know, if it was a little brother, probably would've been a little bit easier, someone to like fuck around with. But she was a sensitive little tiny girl. So I like, there was no, you know what I mean, it was so hard.

• 32:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:57Andrew Santino?

  For me in that, right. I had to bully people to come over to the house, or, you know, or go over to someone's house that had brothers. Because the older brothers, so clutch, they show, you know, they're the ones that show you all the stuff you're not supposed to see.

• 33:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:08Andrew Santino?

  The older brothers, and your friends' older brothers that are like, "You guys wanna see some shit?" And you're like, "Yeah." And they're like, "If you fucking tell anybody," like, "I promise we won't."

• 33:15Speaker 05

  And then you do.

• 33:16Andrew Santino?

  You do, you have to, yeah. You don't have a choice.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  But you can't go down alone.

• 33:19Andrew Santino?

  No, dude, you gotta snitch. Yeah, but that, I think being the only child, that got me in so much trouble, because you, you had to make up all your own fun all the time. All the time, like, you know, that, in the neighborhood, we were always were up to no good, because, you know, you're, you're bored, and you're like, "Well, I might as well go do something nefarious and I'll go find another, you know, single child to go get in trouble with."

• 33:43Speaker 05

  Find another person with no one that loves them, nothing to lose.

• 33:46Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right. Well, or one of the parents usually loves you. I don't know which one, but one of them usually does. It's a gamble. It switches.

• 33:51Speaker 05

  You think it helped with your imagination, though?

• 33:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, 100%. You have to kinda live mentally free, because you don't rely on someone else's for examples to what to like or what... You know, I think like a lot of times when you're an only child, you, you chameleon a little bit, because you wanna make everybody happy. And you also wanna like fit in and find out what the masses are doing. But a lot of times when you're alone, that's when I think some of the magic comes from figuring out on your own what you like. You're probably more embarrassed to share it, though, when you're alone. Because you like something and you're like, "I don't know if anybody else likes this."

• 34:22Speaker 05

  You don't have someone else to back you up.

• 34:23Andrew Santino?

  Can't bounce it off.

• 34:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:24Andrew Santino?

  Right. Like, and then the embarrassing funny stories come. That's where a lot of the stand-up world, I think, started, for my mind, was like, funny stuff I'd get myself into. Like, I'll give you an embarrassing, "You want one? I'll give you one. You gotta give me one if I give you one."

• 34:34Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 34:35Andrew Santino?

  When I was, Beverly Hills Cop, one of my favorite movies, literally of all time, to this day still holds up.

• 34:42Andrew Santino?

  The song, you gotta look up the artist, but I don't remember, "The Heat Is On." Maybe Glenn Frey? I don't think he did that. I don't know who did. "The heat is on, it's on the street. The heat is on."

• 34:55Andrew Santino?

  Such a good, such a good song. When I first learned about touching myself, that movie was so dominant, that song came into my head as I was jerking off, and so...

• 35:05Speaker 05

  Glenn Frey.

• 35:06Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 35:07Speaker 05

  Glenn Frey.

• 35:07Andrew Santino?

  Glenn Frey, I was right.

• 35:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:08Andrew Santino?

  That's how much, shout out Glenn Frey, thank you. You helped, you helped shape me touching myself as a young man. Because as I was doing it, the song would be in my head. "The heat is on." It's so weird and dark, but I would, I did wanna share with any of my friends, like, "Do you ever get songs in your head when you jerk off?" You know what I mean, like, I always felt so embarrassed about it.

• 35:27Speaker 05

  You're beaten to the beat of it.

• 35:28Andrew Santino?

  Beat to the beat of Glenn Frey, dude. Yeah. It's so stupid and dark and weird, but I was like, that's, that's the kinda self-weird creepy discoveries when you're alone all the time, watching movies by yourself. And then also, becoming a young man and going, "I have to pull on this thing. I don't have a choice."

• 35:46Speaker 05

  Okay, I guess my only, I can't, my only, probably have a few, but that made me think of, was that, like, when you're that age and you're masturbating a lot, but you don't really, that was like early internet, and so you didn't have too much access to pornography. You were still switching over from the scrambled porn, scrambled porn on, on, uh, pay-per-view. And so you just look for like sexy scenes to watch on different VHSs than your PG, PG-13 movie. And so I just always remember just jerking off to the same scene of this lady just changing and bending over. And it's not even a sexy movie or a sexy lady, I think, but just the movie Muriel's Wedding.

• 36:32Speaker 05

  There's a scene where Muriel changes, and I'm like, "That's enough."

• 36:35Andrew Santino?

  It got you. It got you, dude. What did I like? I also liked, uh, it's so funny, there's such a generational thing, that we'd find VHS, you'd find a movie with, you'd watch it with a friend and then afterwards you'd go, "Hmm, bet I could utilize that."

• 36:47Speaker 05

  Oh, and Wild, I mean, that's why we had Wild Things, come on.

• 36:50Andrew Santino?

  My god, dude. Jerry Maguire, the beginning of Jerry Maguire, there's a sex scene in the, I think it's like the first scene in the movie.

• 36:55Speaker 05

  In the heat of the night?

• 36:57Andrew Santino?

  In the heat of the night, yeah. Yeah, dude, this is all, young people now don't have to worry about that. You have, they have it right here. This is, yeah, they have, they have it on the go. That's insane. No, us, we had to log it, go to a friend's house, log it in and go...

• 37:12Speaker 05

  Go to Hollywood Video.

• 37:13Andrew Santino?

  Go to Hollywood Video and rent it.

• 37:14Speaker 05

  Hope that they had it.

• 37:16Andrew Santino?

  Calling Blockbuster. "Do you have Basic Instinct?"

• 37:21Andrew Santino?

  "One copy, I'm on my way right now."

• 37:22Speaker 05

  The craft out?

• 37:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, yes, yes, that's so funny. These scenes like stuck in your head and you're like, "I need to utilize this, but I have to rent this and watch this alone by myself." Yeah, and that back when the VHSs were built into the TVs, that was my favorite. Because I would move mine.

• 37:44Andrew Santino?

  You could take that anywhere, dude. I could take that down to the basement. I could take that down to the basement.

• 37:49Speaker 00

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• 38:19Andrew Santino?

  Did you grow up with basements?

• 38:20Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, in Chicago, yeah.

• 38:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, not everyone had one, but I was like, this was my, that was my safe haven, a basement. That's where you could run away from everything. I feel like kids out here don't have that.

• 38:30Speaker 05

  Good smell of a basement.

• 38:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh, me too, man. Exposed wood. Yeah, a little wet. It's always a little wet down in a basement.

• 38:37Speaker 05

  The washer and dryer down there?

• 38:38Andrew Santino?

  It gotta be down there. Yeah, it's funny. When I first started seeing, when I moved to California, people with washer and dryers like upstairs. I was always like, why would these be up here? And then you think, well, that makes way more sense than in the basement.

• 38:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:49Andrew Santino?

  We just didn't have any, you didn't have a lot of room. You're like, that has to be downstairs. There's nowhere else that can be. Also, that's where you go to get scared as a kid.

• 38:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, truly. And the roller skate.

• 38:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and the roller skating, roller skating in the basement. That scene, that's why that scene in Home Alone was so prevalent to my youth with the furnace that talked to him, because anyone in the Midwest understood that, like, the basement, if someone had a finished basement, come on.

• 39:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:15Andrew Santino?

  But if someone had an unfinished basement and some, and a dad was like, go downstairs and go get me that thing, they'd look at you beforehand, like, if I don't come back up, tell everyone in the neighborhood I said goodbye. Let, let Steve have my bike. He's always wanted my bike. It is a mystery little hole. It's like a creepy little hole. There's nothing unsafe about it, but it's all, I think also because as kids, scary movies preyed on what's lives in the basement or what's down there.

• 39:38Speaker 05

  Oh, absolutely.

• 39:39Andrew Santino?

  And then it was validated by documentaries that would later come out where they're like, and then the murderer was in the basement. And you're like, oh, my God, it was true. They were all down there, right? Because like Dahmer, didn't he bury guys in, in his, in the basement?

• 39:49Speaker 05

  It's the closest to the ground and dirt. That's where you would bury people.

• 39:53Andrew Santino?

  That's where you'd bury a body, yeah. Who did it? No, McVeigh, McVeigh? No, McVeigh? Who was the guy that buried the bodies in the walls of his ba, in the walls of his mom's basement?

• 40:01Speaker 05

  Why do white people always know this stuff?

• 40:04Andrew Santino?

  Because it's our thing.

• 40:05Speaker 05

  It really is your thing.

• 40:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we love that. Yeah. Black people don't do the stuff like this, dude. Let us kill and be murderers and serial killers in basements.

• 40:13Speaker 05

  It's a thing that I know just because I'll watch, like, I get mad about, like, oh, okay, you get everything. You get like cultural movies about like Billy Joel and stuff like, oh, you get your like uplifting movies and then you get your murder movie as well. And then you're like, then we might get around to a black movie at some point. After we're both talking about the good things we did and then the murders we did and then also the mundane life aspect as well.

• 40:39Andrew Santino?

  We want it all. Yeah, we want indie movies and murder. We do it all. What's his name? Who was it?

• 40:44Speaker 06

  So there's three.

• 40:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, three.

• 40:48Andrew Santino?

  There's three.

• 40:49Speaker 06

  We have John Wayne Gacy.

• 40:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, John Wayne Gacy. He's the one. He's the one I'm thinking of.

• 40:53Speaker 05

  Midwest.

• 40:54Speaker 06

  Another guy, Fred West.

• 40:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 06

  And then in London, there was Benjamin Franklin.

• 41:00Andrew Santino?

  Benjamin Franklin. Obviously not the same.

• 41:02Speaker 05

  No relation.

• 41:03Andrew Santino?

  No relation. Good name, though. Good name. Trying to desecrate the name. Yeah, we're good at this run. You don't understand about, about the whites. We are trying to own the media space as much as we can. And so we want happy movies, sad movies, murder movies. We want to do it all.

• 41:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Has there ever been a black serial killer?

• 41:18Speaker 05

  Not that I know of.

• 41:19Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 41:20Speaker 05

  No.

• 41:21Andrew Santino?

  Interesting. Well.

• 41:23Speaker 05

  I work on it.

• 41:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's funny, dude. I've never, there's never, there's definitely never been a black serial killer. Because you'd stick out. You would, someone would say something, you'd go, oh, they made that movie about that guy. There hasn't, right? He's looking it up right now.

• 41:37Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 41:37Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 41:38Speaker 06

  There have been multiple.

• 41:39Andrew Santino?

  No!

• 41:40Speaker 06

  Black serial killers.

• 41:41Andrew Santino?

  He's racist, by the way. Just so you know, he's extremely racist.

• 41:43Speaker 06

  Samuel Little.

• 41:45Andrew Santino?

  Who, what's his name?

• 41:46Speaker 06

  Samuel Little.

• 41:47Andrew Santino?

  Samuel Little?

• 41:47Speaker 06

  He just did Small People.

• 41:49Speaker 05

  How many people did he murder?

• 41:52Speaker 06

  He doesn't say here.

• 41:53Speaker 05

  No, we gotta at least get stats.

• 41:55Speaker 06

  Wayne Williams.

• 41:56Andrew Santino?

  Wayne Williams. These sound like these are, how long old is this? Over 300 years? And unfounded, no evidence? They just blamed him for everything?

• 42:03Speaker 05

  I don't think it happened, yeah.

• 42:04Andrew Santino?

  I think it's bullshit.

• 42:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:05Speaker 06

  Sixty cases.

• 42:06Andrew Santino?

  Sixty murders?

• 42:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he was gunning. That's pretty good.

• 42:09Speaker 06

  And he confessed, he confessed to ninety-three murders.

• 42:12Andrew Santino?

  Really? And who is this? What's his name?

• 42:13Speaker 06

  This Samuel Little.

• 42:15Andrew Santino?

  That's Samuel Little. And what time period was this in?

• 42:17Speaker 06

  Nineteen seventy, uh, and two thousand and five.

• 42:20Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit, he was good.

• 42:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:22Andrew Santino?

  You gotta give him credit.

• 42:23Speaker 05

  Legend, yeah. Like LeBron James of it.

• 42:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, those are really, those are Hall of Fame numbers. I gotta be honest. He got away with it for fifty years. I mean, at some point, you're like, this is impressive, dude. He just did a good job. Sixty, what, ninety?

• 42:37Speaker 06

  Ninety-three.

• 42:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God. Too many. Too many. That's just too many. You'd think, you'd, you'd think this is gross. This is a bad thought. They just get tired of, like, they get, it gets old. Do you know what I mean? Like, at some point, he's like, it's just what I have to do.

• 42:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, I feel like, what, because the first couple are shocking, right? It's like the episodes of Break, it's like Breaking Bad.

• 43:01Andrew Santino?

  It's like watching Breaking Bad.

• 43:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, the first time he stabs him with the plate, he's like sick. He's upset for a long time. And then he's like, you know, did one with toxic gas and he's like, oh, no, I'm just doing what I have to do. But then by season three, four, he's just murdering everybody.

• 43:16Andrew Santino?

  Just murdering, yeah.

• 43:17Speaker 05

  Killing whole prisons with no remorse whatsoever.

• 43:20Andrew Santino?

  No consequence either, really.

• 43:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, it just becomes second nature to you. I think then it's just like if someone gets on your nerves in a little bit, right?

• 43:27Andrew Santino?

  You just kill him.

• 43:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, God, that's really dark and also very true, though. And then, and then they don't even feel it. It's kind of like contract killers. There's no way they even know it. They don't care.

• 43:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:38Andrew Santino?

  It's, it's like a, like a Barry. That show was great. Did a good job of being like, the numbness of that guy was just like, yeah, I don't mean, but it's just a thing to do is to kill somebody.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, it seems like, like, it's not a thing that sets you every time. It's like a door you walk through, right? Probably. You're either on one side or the other, that door, you know?

• 43:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, there is a hole. There is a gap for a new black serial killer run. So if you ever do quit stand-up, which I hope you don't.

• 44:00Speaker 05

  I don't plan on it, but if I do, yeah, I'll start murdering. Why not? I got no other type of education, so I don't get backup plans.

• 44:08Andrew Santino?

  No, well, I think, you think comedians are the least educated entertainers?

• 44:13Speaker 05

  Probably, yeah. Probably.

• 44:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, probably, right? God, that sucks. Because a lot of musicians, right, went to schools of music, right? Like, we have a lot of friends that went to school of music.

• 44:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, and a lot of actors would go to school to act, but not a lot of comedians.

• 44:26Andrew Santino?

  I would argue there's probably more comedians that are high school dropouts than any other entertaining profession.

• 44:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, I would say that. I mean, musicians would probably be up there too, though, I would think. But then marvily, like the seventies, eighties style of musicians where they would just like drop out and form a band in high school.

• 44:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but now.

• 44:44Speaker 05

  Now it's different.

• 44:45Andrew Santino?

  It's just a different world.

• 44:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's like now, like I saw Will Ferrell's kid is, is in a band. He's very, very talented.

• 44:51Speaker 05

  He's very good, yeah.

• 44:51Andrew Santino?

  And you're like, of course, wouldn't it be? You know what I mean? Like, you know, like a well to do, smart, educated kid. And then you're like, you know, his dad, his dad obviously put him in a good position to win. But then you see him and you go, well, and he's very good, too.

• 45:04Speaker 05

  It's also beautiful to have that also be a different discipline. It's not like he was like, well, you're gonna be a comedian. I was a comedian. Instead, he like found the thing that he's as good at or as passionate at.

• 45:16Andrew Santino?

  He's very good. Yeah, no, he's very good. What if your kid said to you, I want to be a comic?

• 45:21Speaker 05

  I would love it.

• 45:22Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 45:22Speaker 05

  It'd be cool. I mean, I would be like, we better start your YouTube channel today.

• 45:26Andrew Santino?

  Now, yeah. Yeah, start it for the four-year-old. Do it, do it right now.

• 45:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's a real ham. If anyone's gonna do it, it'd probably be him.

• 45:33Andrew Santino?

  He would, huh?

• 45:33Speaker 05

  Oh, he's, he loves like, just acting out to an invisible camera. Like, he's got great timing. He's like, he's very funny.

• 45:43Andrew Santino?

  Do you think he emulates you when you, does he see you do stuff and tries to do what you do?

• 45:46Speaker 05

  Some of it, yeah. And some of it's just natural. Some of it's just him.

• 45:49Andrew Santino?

  So just in his core?

• 45:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:50Andrew Santino?

  God, isn't that fascinating where that shit comes from? Like, where did yours come from?

• 45:54Speaker 05

  Uh, mine came from just loving comedy at an early age of just watching, I think, growing up in Chicago, you get a lot of access to different art early, right? And so I'd go to Taste of Chicago, go to, uh, different events and you'd see these opening comics and seeing like Chucky Ducky, um, you know, knowing that Bernie Mac was, you know, there when I was young. And you just see all this comedy and I just fell in love with it. I would watch I Love Lucy because we'd always have those like local channels and stuff and watching WGN. And so I'd watch I Love Lucy, watch Benny Hill, watch Green Acres. And I just liked the, um, the rhythm, the music of comedy.

• 46:31Andrew Santino?

  Green Acres. It's the place to be.

• 46:32Speaker 05

  It is. Terrible show.

• 46:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was really bad, wasn't it?

• 46:35Speaker 05

  It was bad.

• 46:35Andrew Santino?

  The theme song was quite good.

• 46:37Speaker 05

  It really held it off.

• 46:38Andrew Santino?

  I think that was the whole thing. The glue that held that show on.

• 46:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, was the theme.

• 46:41Andrew Santino?

  It's the place to be. It's so weird that it got stuck into my mind like that. It was almost like those cues. It was like Pavlovian, you know? Like, I don't even know why I would watch it, but you would. It was there. You just like did it for some reason?

• 46:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, because it's on.

• 46:55Andrew Santino?

  Mash put me to sleep almost every night, though.

• 46:57Speaker 05

  Also, overrated.

• 46:58Andrew Santino?

  Terrible show. It's awful. I know the older generation, like, thought that was entertaining. I remember when Mash came on, I meant, everything I liked was done.

• 47:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly. You're like, TV's over for the day. Mash is on.

• 47:09Andrew Santino?

  Mash was a cue card to be like, all right, guys, let's wrap it up. Mash was the light. Mash, if Mash was the light, that, it was like the, we gotta be done with all this stuff.

• 47:18Speaker 05

  If you, if you're desperate enough to watch Mash, go ahead.

• 47:23Andrew Santino?

  Although sometimes if I was awake enough, I'd just go get cereal and like suffer through some of it. I remember not getting it.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  No.

• 47:30Andrew Santino?

  I just didn't, I was like, something's missing in it.

• 47:32Speaker 05

  Because it always seemed so sad. And there was always like someone was dying.

• 47:37Andrew Santino?

  Always.

• 47:37Speaker 05

  And then none of the, I don't remember there being a single like setup punchline besides the, one of the, you know, guys pretending to be gay. And that was the only one who had like set up actual jokes.

• 47:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they did have jokes. That's really funny. Everything else, yeah, everything else was kind of dismal. Also, to revisit the war like that in a television show, you, I mean, you could never pitch that today. It's so funny. It's like, nobody wants to relive war. We're living in war. And nobody wants to like also go to bed at night and be like, you want to watch a show about war? I don't think so, man.

• 48:08Speaker 05

  Going through.

• 48:08Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, I think it's pretty scary. I don't think I want to deal with that fucking shit anymore. Yeah, Mash was the cue. Mash Mash was the uh TV's over for the day. Did you have, was there shows in your house that you weren't allowed to watch as a kid?

• 48:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, uh Married with Children was a thing I missed because I weren't allowed to watch it.

• 48:24Andrew Santino?

  My mom was no fucking way.

• 48:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:26Andrew Santino?

  And I'd have to sneak it.

• 48:27Speaker 05

  I think that is actually a very rebootable show.

• 48:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah.

• 48:32Speaker 05

  That'd be so fun right now because to me in my head is like, oh, okay, very clearly the L Bundy character hated the wife of the other character because they were both gay. And like he wasn't out and she wasn't out and like he wanted to be with the husband.

• 48:49Andrew Santino?

  A hundred percent.

• 48:49Speaker 05

  And he hated his wife and she wanted to be with Peg. I that's how I would reboot that entire show.

• 48:55Andrew Santino?

  That's so funny. Yeah, just make these two, well, because that that the they were best friends and love.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:01Andrew Santino?

  Obviously.

• 49:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's really good. That's a very, is he still a shoe salesman though?

• 49:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, why not?

• 49:06Andrew Santino?

  Oh, because it doesn't exist anymore.

• 49:07Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 49:09Andrew Santino?

  Now he's an Amazon driver.

• 49:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's, yeah, that would be, he'd be so pissed off. Yes, yes.

• 49:15Andrew Santino?

  You have to give him more obstacles to make him still mad at the entire world. So like that would have to be.

• 49:21Speaker 05

  He does, he's a driver of every, he's Amazon, Uber.

• 49:24Andrew Santino?

  And Bud is a, and Bud is a Twitch streamer who's like really successful on Twitch.

• 49:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:28Andrew Santino?

  And what was Kelly, Christine Applegate's character?

• 49:30Speaker 05

  OnlyFans.

• 49:31Andrew Santino?

  OnlyFans.

• 49:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  I mean, there's just, the show writes itself really at this point. And then what was the neighbor's name again? Ted? No, no, uh, fuck.

• 49:40Speaker 05

  I feel like it might have been Ted.

• 49:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, might have been. What does Ted do for a living? We have to figure this out.

• 49:44Speaker 05

  I don't remember. I think he was a pretty boy who didn't have a job.

• 49:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but in this now, in this world, he's, so he's a health influencer?

• 49:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:50Andrew Santino?

  He's a health and fitness influencer. The amount of health and wellness influencers, it's, it's amazing. I'm, I'm in awe of how many people are like, I dropped my nine to five, I'm now a health and fitness influencer. I'm like, there's tens of thousands of them on the internet. It kind of makes me feel good about having a regular body.

• 50:10Andrew Santino?

  I feel totally fine with my body. Like, everyone's struggling to become this thing. I'm like, oh, I'm good, dude. I'm just gonna stay baseline. If baseline is, this is baseline, I'm fucking fine. I just got my blood work done from the doctor. He's like, you're fine. I was like, great.

• 50:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, it feels good.

• 50:25Andrew Santino?

  I'm great. He was like, not, I wasn't peaking on anything anymore. I could, I could take down my medication dose. Um, cause I have, uh, my family has super high cholesterol and like my whole fucking family. And so I was taking it and I was like, working on getting rid of it a little bit. And he's like, you're fucking great. We can go down a little bit. And I was like, huge win.

• 50:42Speaker 05

  That's beautiful. That's what I love right now. Like I don't, the only pills I take are for like finasteride and minoxidil for hair.

• 50:48Andrew Santino?

  For hair, yeah, yeah. Well, we have to stay on those for the rest of our lives. We don't even have a choice.

• 50:53Speaker 05

  No.

• 50:53Andrew Santino?

  But then I'm on, I'm on uh statin for the old, for the cholesterol, but now I'm getting it way down, if not off completely. So I'm excited about that. That's, that's what rappers need to talk about.

• 51:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:04Andrew Santino?

  Getting that statin dose down.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:07Andrew Santino?

  You got that statin dose down?

• 51:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:09Andrew Santino?

  Five milligram crew.

• 51:11Speaker 05

  Yeah. Tell me, yeah, false, tell me about which, where you got your hair transplant at the Turkey. Which one did you go to? That's how you ballin'.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  That's how you ballin'. That's how you know if you're really doing it?

• 51:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:23Andrew Santino?

  How do you know if you're killing?

• 51:24Speaker 05

  Went to Ashley Tarkin.

• 51:30Andrew Santino?

  Dude, we need to make an old guy rap crew. That's fucking incredible. It, there should be a voice for the elderman because it's, we don't have it anymore. And instead of fighting the whole fight about like, now I just want to listen to Nas and Rakim and an older generation. I still try to get into the young shit, but I do feel like it's disingenuous sometimes.

• 51:50Speaker 05

  Who's the, who is the newest rapper that?

• 51:53Andrew Santino?

  Well, who do I, like who's on my radar now?

• 51:55Speaker 05

  That you like?

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 51:58Andrew Santino?

  Uh, OT Genesis?

• 52:01Speaker 05

  Okay, I don't feel like that's new, but I like that.

• 52:03Andrew Santino?

  It's new to me.

• 52:04Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 52:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. OT Genesis is relatively younger than what I, because I would say like most of my shit is like nineties, early two, very early two thousands.

• 52:14Speaker 05

  Okay, well, I'm, I recommend.

• 52:16Andrew Santino?

  You give me anybody.

• 52:18Speaker 05

  Uh, two people who I like. Uh, they're both not, I wouldn't call young. Um, there's Larry June, who is.

• 52:26Andrew Santino?

  I think I know Larry June, yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 05

  Tremendous. He's my favorite rapper. Um, and he's like using my inspiration for his like business and merch. Like he's like just selling great shit and shit that looks cool. And then his whole vibe is like, easy to get behind and seems authentic.

• 52:41Andrew Santino?

  That's like Freddie Gibbs to me.

• 52:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:43Andrew Santino?

  Gibbs might be one of the best like artist, uh, to make art physical and, you know, audio art, like he, his life is combined. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's a really good combination.

• 52:54Speaker 05

  That's what I tried. Yeah. I mean, that's actually one of my biggest influences when I started comedy was the rapper Currency. Because I liked that when I would listen to his raps, he would just rap about, um, he rapped about an episode of The Real World, who we were talking about, you just want me out the house, like the episode where they got David kicked out. And I was like, fuck. And to me, it really was like, it informed the way I write where it's like, oh, you can like rap at this base level where you're just rhyming and stuff. And that's the same as like punch, set up punchline with comedy. But also I can hide these little things that if you know, you go, oh, fuck, I know exactly what they're talking about. And so I do that now a lot. I've been doing that my whole career.

• 53:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you have.

• 53:35Speaker 05

  Uh, and so even now they're like, I have this joke where I just talk about like being famous, but I'm like, I go, I'm not like, I'm a bench, I'm like Brian Scalabrine where I'm like.

• 53:44Andrew Santino?

  It's my guy.

• 53:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. I'm not up there, but like, I'll bust your ass.

• 53:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll fuck everybody up in the room.

• 53:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:50Andrew Santino?

  But I'm not, I'm not, I'm not starting five.

• 53:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly.

• 53:53Andrew Santino?

  I'll take a, I'll take it off the bench. He's actually so nasty, by the way.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly.

• 53:57Andrew Santino?

  He's so good.

• 53:58Speaker 05

  That's the whole point. And so whenever I do that joke, some people laugh a little bit, but then there's always three, four people who laugh a lot because they know the reference and they know.

• 54:06Andrew Santino?

  That would get me.

• 54:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:08Andrew Santino?

  Scalabrine.

• 54:08Speaker 05

  Um, and then I would say as for the uh BFB, the Pac-Man. He's funny, he's enjoyable, uh, and he's just makes these silly lines and I think you would like him.

• 54:19Andrew Santino?

  Okay. I mean, I'm, you gotta write these down. I don't remember this because I'm forgetting older. Do you like Coast Contra?

• 54:25Speaker 05

  I do love Coast Contra, yeah.

• 54:27Andrew Santino?

  See, that reminds me of stuff we grew up with. That like that, I love, like Cruz. Cause I think a crew kind of faded away into a lot of individuals. It was a lot of like me, me stuff.

• 54:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, I mean, mostly now similar com, I feel like all these industries kind of mirror these each other. And so when they're at their height, I'm like, oh, it's cool. We're doing good too. Like wrestling and comedy and hip hop, sometimes we're all, all hit these peaks at the same time. And now it feels like they're all at these very like, these valleys at the same time where there isn't that much great mainstream rap. There's actually people, most artists don't even want to call themselves rappers anymore.

• 55:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's weird. Why nobody wants to say rap anymore?

• 55:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, because it seems old.

• 55:09Andrew Santino?

  Right. Well, maybe, yeah, they seem like it's pigeonholing them into something that they don't want to be.

• 55:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I guess that's very true. I think, I think Lil Wayne had a, did something I just saw on the internet about that where he's like, I don't want to be titled. Don't like push me into a, a namesake. But I guess that's the same thing. You're right. It does parallel because you're not just a comedian, you're not just an actor, you're not like, you're a very multifaceted entertainer. So you are a comic at your core, but you don't have to be.

• 55:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:38Andrew Santino?

  You, you're on punches.

• 55:39Speaker 05

  Well, I have to pay my mortgage. I do have to.

• 55:42Andrew Santino?

  Well, you can do, but you can do any version of that art that you want, especially in the live performance aspect. You could get away with doing one, not the other. You could do both.

• 55:49Speaker 05

  Well, that's what I love about doing that. That's been a big, I never wanted to be a specialist, um, because I felt, find it highly frustrating. And all my friends who are, seem to be getting, get very frustrated, you know, because they bust their head against the wall. And they're like, oh, let me self fund this special and now I'm sixty grand in the hole. And people are passing on it even though it's good, but they're giving specials. I mean, to people who didn't put in the effort for it. And it's just like, oh, that's a tell as old as time. And like, I don't, I choose just not get mad at it and instead be like, oh, that's why I have voice acting. Whatever, whatever is working, I head that way. So if I'm getting a lot of voice acting roles, then I'll do that. If I have to go to Budapest for six weeks and work with Arnold Schwarzenegger, fuck, yeah.

• 56:31Speaker 05

  If I'm just on the road doing shows with my friends, that's also fucking amazing.

• 56:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. What's the Schwarzenegger thing?

• 56:37Speaker 05

  Uh, it's a movie called The Kellys. It's gonna be, it's an Amazon MGM movie. It stars Liam Hemsworth, Gina Davis, uh, Abby Elliott, uh, Kelsey, last name who is hard for me to remember, but she's an amazing actress. And, and then Arnold Schwarzenegger is in it and then me. And so that's cool. Yeah.

• 56:56Andrew Santino?

  And you and Arnold are good. Do you go toe to toe in a couple of scenes?

• 56:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:59Andrew Santino?

  Is that fun?

• 57:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's gotta be cool.

• 57:01Speaker 05

  It was real cool.

• 57:02Andrew Santino?

  What an interesting character, man. Did you ever have, spend time with him off this, off the?

• 57:06Speaker 05

  Not much time off set, but like I got to talk to him a little bit on set and just like, you, you learn a lot about how the way people act on set, you know? And to see this guy seventy eight years old and like, we're doing mostly night shoots and like him be there and be on and him, as, as you would know, I always just put this as someone who works, like, he did the, he stayed for off camera work.

• 57:30Andrew Santino?

  Huge.

• 57:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:31Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty rare of a guy of his caliber, I guess. Cause I, I shouldn't say that. That, it happens.

• 57:36Speaker 05

  Well, that caliber in that age.

• 57:37Andrew Santino?

  In that age, I guess, is what I mean. It, it's more that it's, it's a preservation of time for some people. But that's pretty huge. For people that don't know, it's just when you're, when you, what you're shooting coverage, when you're shooting just Ron, if it's just on Ron, a lot of times the actor, like in my position.

• 57:52Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes chooses to not be there and you read with someone else, which is not fun. Which is very not fun, because you're not gonna really get good enough reactions that you want out of the other actor, but some people choose to not stand in for those things, which I find a little fucking weird. Talk to a tennis ball.

• 58:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:06Andrew Santino?

  And make you talk to a tennis ball on a C-stand, which is one of the most annoying things. I remember like, early on in my career, it happened a few times, and I thought, "Well, what the fuck, you want me to act to a tennis ball?"

• 58:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:16Andrew Santino?

  And they're like, "Yeah, you're an actor, you can act." You're like, "I know, but don't you want to feel me feeling someone else?"

• 58:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:21Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean?

• 58:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's such a big difference. It was a thing, um, I was watching that clip that comes up a lot of that Will Smith, when he did his best act in where, "Why don't, why don't he want me, man?" You know, when he's leaving his dad. And I've always watched Will Smith in that scene, and something that, somebody posted it, and I chose to watch James Avery, and I was like, and it's not off-camera, he's on cam, but like, the way that James Avery shows compassion to Will in that scene, that allows Will to quickly go from like, the most angry he's ever been to suddenly crying, is like, a lot of it's on Will, and you gotta give Will the respect, but like, James, like, alley-ooped it to him.

• 59:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:05Speaker 05

  And it's like, and if you don't have a good scene partner like that, it's so much harder.

• 59:09Andrew Santino?

  Way harder.

• 59:09Speaker 05

  And I always, like, and the more I acted, the more I look at that type of stuff, and just see people like James, and, um, that was one of the things, when I saw it, when I was on this movie, being like, "Man, I'm the black guy in an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, like Reginald Bill Johnson, like these, like, like Sinbad, like, you know, it's a rare treat."

• 59:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is, it is. It is. And that's good that you get cemented yourself and recognized it, too.

• 59:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:34Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean?

• 59:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:36Andrew Santino?

  That's fucking huge. That's awesome. I, I hate to say the word proud, because I think it's, it's, it sounds demeaning, but I am proud of you. Like, there's certain people that you're like, we've been together for a long time, we've seen each other work for years and years, but it's nice to see people that you're proud of their success, or their work, that you're like, "Oh, yeah." Like, if someone asks, if someone's like, "You know Ron Funches?" And I always say, "No, I don't like that." But it is fun, it is, it is cool to see, especially because as we slide up into this scale of this thing, you know, the new, new comes in, right? You know, we're, we have an expiration date, we're on the shelves. But I think like, it's cool now, because you get to, you get to pick and really be confident in it versus, you know, for years, you're kinda just like, "What do you want me to do? What do you need me to do? What can I do?"

• 1:00:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think that's the blessing, again, of also trying to be multifaceted and, and have your own business, so you're not, like, I became, one of the things when I wanted to start losing weight and stuff, was becoming aware of like,

• 1:00:36Speaker 05

  "Oh, they'll just find someone else who looks like me, who, um, they'll put it in this thing, find a Ron Funches type, which they have, and then they'll just find someone cheaper and, and younger," and I was like, "Oh, I have to build my own shit, because that day will come."

• 1:00:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:51Speaker 05

  And I think so many people aren't aware of that. They're like, "Oh, I'll always be like, able to do this," and I'm fully aware. Even me and my manager talk about it all the time, where, we had this conversation the other day, where we were like, "Well, we're not at the beginning of my career." She's like, "No, you're about at least halfway done now."

• 1:01:07Andrew Santino?

  Hey, but halfway's good.

• 1:01:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:09Andrew Santino?

  Halfway's good, I like halfway.

• 1:01:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:11Andrew Santino?

  If I'm gonna work out, and I know I'm doing an hour and some change, and I'm just over the 30-minute mark, I'm like, "We did it, we're good, we're good." We keep, we cruise a little bit for a second.

• 1:01:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Speaker 05

  As long as the, like, cool things keep happening, and I, I don't feel like that I'm at, you, you can kinda tell when you're like, "Oh, I'm not getting better anymore," and I feel like I'm getting better and better.

• 1:01:30Andrew Santino?

  No, you're getting much better, I think you're getting stronger, too. Last time I saw you on stage, too. The guy is, uh, nah, you're, I think you're on the up, it's, it's an up slope.

• 1:01:39Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:01:39Andrew Santino?

  It's up slope, it's half, but it's up slope.

• 1:01:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's half, but it's up, yeah.

• 1:01:42Andrew Santino?

  It's up, it's half and up. What's that, what's that phrase? Who was the actor? He probably fucking knows. It was a famous actor that said, uh,

• 1:01:49Andrew Santino?

  I'll use your name as an example, at the be, this is the scope of an actor's career, it goes, uh, "Who is Ron Funches?" Uh, uh, "Get me Ron Funches."

• 1:02:02Andrew Santino?

  "Get me someone that's like Ron Funches." And who the fuck is Ron Funches? So this is like, the arc of actors. It's like, "Don't know who you are, really want you, get me someone like him but cheaper." And then the last stage is, "Who's Ron Funches?"

• 1:02:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:16Andrew Santino?

  And you're like, that's kind of it, but right now, you're right in between the "Give me Ron Funches," "Give me someone like Ron Funches."

• 1:02:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:22Andrew Santino?

  That's a good place to be.

• 1:02:23Speaker 05

  It's not bad.

• 1:02:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, it's cool. I like, um, tra, I'm doing things, I just look at the evidence, and just be like, "Oh, I'm adding more shows, never had to do that more."

• 1:02:35Andrew Santino?

  That's awesome.

• 1:02:36Speaker 05

  Selling out shows, I'm traveling to more countries to do shows. So things are at the up and up, and at the same time, I have to like, slim down stuff, because of the divorce, so I had to like, bring down my employees, bring down stuff, so it's, I'm in a weird spot where it both feels like, "Oh, I'm at the closest of things popping off, and I'm at the closest of things falling apart as I've ever been."

• 1:02:57Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:02:57Speaker 05

  And that's not a bad spot. It feels actually very invigorating, and it's focus, made me focus a lot, and made me um, more aware of my business, uh, where I was just kinda letting things go before, and just kinda floating and trusting stuff, and now I'm more in charge of everything, and building my own things, and building my own YouTube, and, um, having that, instead of just being like, "Oh, just wait till another job comes," or, "If my material is good enough, they'll give me a special." I'm not like, you know, I don't believe in waiting for that stuff.

• 1:03:29Andrew Santino?

  No waiting, keep working.

• 1:03:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Andrew Santino?

  You're selling out shows, and you're adding more shows, and I want everyone to go see Ron. Ron's gonna be touring around the United Kingdom, as well as Amsterdam. Uh, the tickets are always probably at ronfunches.com, but if you can't find him there, just type in "Ron Funches, want to see him live."

• 1:03:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, but don't go to the website that's like, pretending to be me.

• 1:03:50Andrew Santino?

  Who's someone, someone's pretending?

• 1:03:52Speaker 05

  Like, they're trying to charge like, extra ticket, like, $200 for tickets.

• 1:03:55Andrew Santino?

  Is this a real thing?

• 1:03:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:56Andrew Santino?

  Wait, really? What is it?

• 1:03:57Speaker 05

  I don't even know the name of the site.

• 1:03:59Andrew Santino?

  Well, don't give it out, I don't want anybody to go. But go to ronfunches.com to get the ticket.

• 1:04:02Speaker 05

  ronfunches.com, don't, yeah.

• 1:04:03Andrew Santino?

  And by the way, if you have time on the side-

• 1:04:04Speaker 05

  If the tickets are more than 40 bucks, then you're probably on the wrong site.

• 1:04:09Andrew Santino?

  If you're paying $485 for tickets, you're not gonna go see Ron. I hope you know that. You're going to see somebody else. Uh, but go to ronfunches.com and buy those tickets, and go see him on the road. You're not just touring the UK, you come back and you turn around the stage, too.

• 1:04:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, going everywhere.

• 1:04:20Andrew Santino?

  Did you name this tour?

• 1:04:21Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, I call it the Faithful Tour, because I'm trying to capitalize off the fact that I did The Traitors, and, and ride that for the six months, that that's good.

• 1:04:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, might as well, who gives a shit?

• 1:04:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:31Andrew Santino?

  If it's there, might as well do it.

• 1:04:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:32Andrew Santino?

  Go to ronfunches.com, see the man live. Uh, one of the nicest, funniest, coolest humans I know, here in our little tiny world. We end the show the same way, Ron, you look into that camera, you give me one word or one phrase to end the episode. Whenever you're ready. It used to be a word, now it could be an imparting phrase of wisdom, whatever you want.

• 1:04:51Speaker 05

  Be kind to yourself.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard!

• 1:05:01Speaker 04

  Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, and $75 for the horse.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  Gingers, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:05:20Speaker 00

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