Respect Your Kids’ Choices with Damon and Marlon Wayans

Legendary entertainers Damon and Marlon Wayans join the pod as IMO’s first sibling guests! They share hilarious stories from their childhood, open up about working together as an entertainment family, and share wisdom about raising children through challenges. Have a question you want answered? Write to us at ⁠imopod.com⁠ http://imopod.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I wear this baseball hat and suit because of my dad. I used to laugh at him. We used to laugh at him because he would wear a suit with a baseball hat, like a Mo Money hat, right? He had all the hats from our shows and he would like wear them because he was proud of us. And so that's why I wear this in honor of my dad. And I wear my mother's underwear because...

• 0:29Craig Robinson?

  You had me there. I just fell right into that.

• 0:32Michelle Obama?

  I know. You got me.

• 0:40Michelle Obama?

  This episode is brought to you by Pine-Sol and Chase Home Lending.

• 0:45Craig Robinson?

  Hello.

• 0:46Michelle Obama?

  Hey, Smoothie Smooth.

• 0:48Craig Robinson?

  How you doing?

• 0:48Michelle Obama?

  I just want to touch this.

• 0:49Craig Robinson?

  You like that?

• 0:50Michelle Obama?

  It's like, ooh, is that...

• 0:51Craig Robinson?

  Like butter?

• 0:51Michelle Obama?

  Is that pleather?

• 0:53Craig Robinson?

  No, it's leather.

• 0:54Michelle Obama?

  Did Kelly pick that out?

• 0:55Craig Robinson?

  Kelly did pick this up.

• 0:56Michelle Obama?

  And goes with my nails. She always finds a way to, you know, make it work.

• 1:01Craig Robinson?

  I know. I know.

• 1:02Michelle Obama?

  Yeah. So what's happening? What's happening?

• 1:05Craig Robinson?

  Not much. Not much. We're back out here in L.A.

• 1:08Michelle Obama?

  I know. Yeah.

• 1:08Craig Robinson?

  I'm staying at an Airbnb. As you know, I like to do that now.

• 1:12Michelle Obama?

  Yeah. Yeah. You're a regular.

• 1:14Craig Robinson?

  I am. I am. I'm really enjoying this one. This is another guest favorite.

• 1:18Michelle Obama?

  What's a guest favorite?

• 1:20Craig Robinson?

  A guest favorite is a house or property that the people who visit mark it as a guest favorite. They favorite it after they, when they do their survey.

• 1:32Michelle Obama?

  That it's rated?

• 1:33Craig Robinson?

  It's rated. It's rated a guest favorite.

• 1:36Michelle Obama?

  I get it. So it's their rating. So it's high on the list.

• 1:38Craig Robinson?

  It's high on the list. And I only stay in guest favorites, no matter where I go. But the best part about it, there are two things that I like about this one. Laundry. I can do my laundry, so I can...

• 1:48Michelle Obama?

  Because you gotta wash your socks.

• 1:49Craig Robinson?

  I gotta wash out my good lucky socks. And then the kitchen.

• 1:55Craig Robinson?

  Kitchen, I can, you know, I can do my workout in the morning and fix my self breakfast. Don't have to go anywhere.

• 2:03Michelle Obama?

  You're not making yourself breakfast?

• 2:04Craig Robinson?

  I am making breakfast.

• 2:05Michelle Obama?

  What did you have for breakfast today?

• 2:06Craig Robinson?

  Uh, where's Paris? Paris saw my breakfast. I had, um, fruit.

• 2:12Michelle Obama?

  That's not making anything.

• 2:14Craig Robinson?

  Eggs.

• 2:14Michelle Obama?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 2:16Craig Robinson?

  Bacon.

• 2:17Michelle Obama?

  You made bacon?

• 2:17Craig Robinson?

  I made, well, I made bacon Sunday. I did. Why would I make this up?

• 2:21Michelle Obama?

  What do you mean you made bacon Sunday? What do you mean?

• 2:23Craig Robinson?

  What? I made bacon on Sunday for the whole week. That's what I do.

• 2:28Michelle Obama?

  You carry, you carry, uh, old bacon around?

• 2:31Craig Robinson?

  I don't, it's in the refrigerator. I'm at an Airbnb. It's in the refrigerator.

• 2:35Michelle Obama?

  But it's precooked?

• 2:36Craig Robinson?

  I cooked it. It's bacon, like you get from the store.

• 2:40Michelle Obama?

  I'm just confused.

• 2:41Craig Robinson?

  She can't, you know why she can't, you can't believe it is because you don't have to cook any bacon anymore.

• 2:47Michelle Obama?

  No, I don't. And I'm not, and I'm not ashamed to say it.

• 2:49Craig Robinson?

  Bacon? How do you cook? How do you have bacon? Where do you carry bacon?

• 2:52Michelle Obama?

  Well, you said you cooked bacon on Sunday, but anyway.

• 2:54Craig Robinson?

  I cooked it on Sunday, so.

• 2:55Michelle Obama?

  All right, so.

• 2:55Craig Robinson?

  So I had bacon, uh, everything bagel toasted, uh, two soft boiled eggs.

• 3:04Michelle Obama?

  Okay.

• 3:05Craig Robinson?

  And fruit.

• 3:06Michelle Obama?

  All right.

• 3:07Craig Robinson?

  And I would have had, um, a banana, but we were running a little bit late this morning, so.

• 3:13Michelle Obama?

  And you just couldn't squeeze the banana in?

• 3:15Craig Robinson?

  So I just brought it with me, so.

• 3:17Michelle Obama?

  Well, that's good. I'm glad. I'm glad you had a balanced breakfast and you're ready to go.

• 3:20Craig Robinson?

  I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go.

• 3:22Michelle Obama?

  Thank you Airbnb for giving my, my brother, uh, a guest favorite with a kitchen.

• 3:28Craig Robinson?

  Well, I'm, I'm so excited today because we have some, some favorites of ours that we, we are getting to meet for the first time.

• 3:37Michelle Obama?

  I can't believe that in all these years, we haven't met any of, of the Wayans. There's so many of them. I would have thought at some point you just run into somebody on the street and run into somebody in the motorcade, you know? It's like, was that a Wayans that got hit?

• 3:53Craig Robinson?

  By the motorcycle.

• 3:54Michelle Obama?

  I think that was one of the Wayans.

• 3:56Craig Robinson?

  Cause there's so many of them.

• 3:57Michelle Obama?

  There's so many of them.

• 3:59Craig Robinson?

  But you know, given all the White House parties you've had.

• 4:02Michelle Obama?

  I know.

• 4:03Craig Robinson?

  That they didn't just show up at one or two of them.

• 4:06Michelle Obama?

  Well, that would be hard to do.

• 4:08Craig Robinson?

  Yeah, cause they're, they're West Coast guys.

• 4:09Michelle Obama?

  We gotta make up for that.

• 4:10Craig Robinson?

  Yeah, well. Well, let me, let me, let me do my intros here. So we, we, we have Damon and Marlon Wayans joining us, folks. I'm so excited to talk to them and I'm almost giggling already.

• 4:21Michelle Obama?

  I know.

• 4:22Craig Robinson?

  I haven't even heard, heard him say anything yet. But Damon Wayans Sr., because there is a Damon Wayans Jr.

• 4:29Michelle Obama?

  Yes, we all know that.

• 4:30Craig Robinson?

  Is a legendary comedian, actor, writer and producer with decades in the entertainment industry. Decades, that makes him sound as old as I am.

• 4:39Michelle Obama?

  I know, I know.

• 4:40Craig Robinson?

  He rose to fame on In Living Color, which was one of our favorite shows. We used to watch that and crack up. And he later starred in and co-created My Wife and Kids. Now, our kids love that show.

• 4:52Michelle Obama?

  You know, Malia and so they, they are back up on that. Like it just happened, you know, like they discovered the sun.

• 4:59Craig Robinson?

  I know, I know. And you can watch him now on Papa's House airing on CBS. And along with Damon is his younger brother, Marlon Wayans.

• 5:09Michelle Obama?

  We got two of them.

• 5:10Craig Robinson?

  Actor, comedian, writer, producer and director. He's currently on the road for his Wild Child Tour.

• 5:17Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Craig Robinson?

  Which will culminate in his fifth stand-up special. After 20 years, Marlon is reuniting with his brothers Keenan and Sean Wayans to write and produce a scary movie reboot, which is set for release June 12th, 2026. So I have so much more to say, but why don't we bring him out so we can say it to them? Come on out, guys.

• 5:48Michelle Obama?

  Thank you for having us.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 5:53Michelle Obama?

  Welcome to I M O.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  I M O.

• 5:56Michelle Obama?

  Where I get to work with my brother, which is also why this is kind of, really.

• 6:03Michelle Obama?

  There we go. Any, any advice as I embark on an endeavor with a sibling?

• 6:10Speaker 00

  Just enjoy the ride.

• 6:11Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  And the, the.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Says the older sibling.

• 6:14Michelle Obama?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Says the bully.

• 6:15Michelle Obama?

  Oh.

• 6:18Speaker 00

  Well, you know, somebody got to put you a check and, and that's my job. But, um, you know, it's, it's, it's a privilege to work with family, you know? And especially when you get along, you know, man, you guys, this chemistry is, you know, palpable. Well, you know, you could just tell that y'all love each other and then what's the problem?

• 6:37Speaker 03

  And you spend so much time at work that sometimes, you know, life can pass you by. So if you're working with family, you're actually living and doing your work at the same time. So it's actually, you're, you're doing a two for one and it's really a blessing to do what you love with who you love. True that.

• 6:52Craig Robinson?

  Oh, wow.

• 6:53Michelle Obama?

  And that, that comes across. I mean, it, it, it really does and all, true that. There's some wisdom right there. Wisdom right there. You had a special sauce, but it's, but you, but you can.

• 7:06Craig Robinson?

  You were surprised from it coming from the young fellow there, right?

• 7:09Michelle Obama?

  Hey, hey, hey, hey.

• 7:12Speaker 03

  I mean, the old brother.

• 7:13Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah. No, I, although he doesn't act like it, see?

• 7:16Speaker 03

  No, because here's the thing. It's different when you're a, a little brother. A little sister really is, they're always going to be the big sister.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  Cause women have this thing where they just, you got to respect them. They put you in their place.

• 7:28Michelle Obama?

  There you go.

• 7:28Craig Robinson?

  Preach, brother.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 7:30Craig Robinson?

  You know who the bully in the family is?

• 7:32Michelle Obama?

  I am not.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  I feel vibes.

• 7:37Michelle Obama?

  I am not.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  That's why I sat over here. I was like, mm, she gonna be pinching me underneath this table. No, but I think also allow yourself the space to be individuals and just, we're all different. My, I always tell my brothers, they, you gotta do this, this way. No, you gotta do it. And I'm just like, no, I don't want to do it that way. I want to do it my way.

• 7:58Speaker 00

  The dumb way. Wants to do it the dumb way.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  But that's the smaller way. Dumb. He said, I just keep feeling until I figure it out. Yeah.

• 8:06Speaker 00

  That's so stupid.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Why don't you listen and have success? Cause that would be your success. I gotta find my success.

• 8:14Michelle Obama?

  There you go, there you go. See, that's the spoken like a little sibling. Yeah, you know, it's like you can't, you can't show us the way. We gotta run into the wall on our own. Yeah, well, you talk about, uh, let's talk about your sisters.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 8:30Michelle Obama?

  Right? Because everybody knows the brothers.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  Yes, right.

• 8:33Michelle Obama?

  Tell me about, well, we know Kim. I think that's the only sister I have seen out in the world. But you got a bunch of them, because there's a lot of y'all.

• 8:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's, uh, we have five sisters.

• 8:43Michelle Obama?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  They're all so talented, so like.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  They're hilarious.

• 8:48Michelle Obama?

  Really?

• 8:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, you hang around and they're, all they do is crack jokes of Byron, Devon and, you know, and, and they're funny, but, you know, to do what we do.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  They're actually funnier than us in some ways, because they could just say, they can't get canceled.

• 9:01Michelle Obama?

  Yes, that's true.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  So they just.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  Unfiltered.

• 9:05Michelle Obama?

  So they, they're telling the truth.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  They just say it.

• 9:07Michelle Obama?

  They're not in the business though, right? They're just funny people in the world.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  I don't think they can handle the rejection that comes with, you know, you know? Like going on stage, the thing about doing stand-up is you're not funny until you're funny.

• 9:19Michelle Obama?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:19Speaker 00

  And it takes, you gotta put in 10,000 hours to figure out what's not funny.

• 9:24Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  And you gotta, you gotta want fame, you know, like you, that's a 24-hour job.

• 9:30Michelle Obama?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  I don't get the clock out. I think being a mother is hard enough, and especially a lot of the times, being a single mother.

• 9:37Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  So, you know, the fact that they were young and they raised their kids and, you know, we as uncles assisted, but, you know, I'm proud of my sisters for, you know, being great mothers and really loving their children and, and they're in the industry.

• 9:49Michelle Obama?

  You guys had a lot of strong women. You had your mother, you had your sisters. How do you think that's made you better people, better men?

• 9:57Speaker 00

  I had an aunt, she just passed in, uh, February, and she.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  Wasn't my favorite, you know, you're supposed to have favorites. But she told all my brothers and sisters, Damon's my favorite.

• 10:10Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  And like was not ashamed to say it. And, you know, being born with a club foot, it's like God gave me somebody.

• 10:19Michelle Obama?

  That was on your side.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  To have somebody that loves you unconditionally. And I would get in trouble and schooled and, you know, with the law and my aunt never said nothing to me. And I recently asked, I said, Mary, why you never like checked me? Cause I seen you check your own kids. She said, well, it's your mama's job to beat you. My job is to love you.

• 10:42Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  And I think it's so powerful to have that person in your life. And that's who she's, it helps.

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Well, now that I know that you was her favorite, I want to take back that song that she and I bought her.

• 10:55Michelle Obama?

  Well, don't, don't worry, Marlon, he was my mother's favorite.

• 10:59Craig Robinson?

  It's rough being the favorite.

• 11:00Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 11:01Craig Robinson?

  It's rough, it's rough.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  But my mama lied to all of us. She was like, you my favorite, you my favorite. Keenan, you my favorite. We were all her favorites and we all felt at some point, we were all her baby. But I know.

• 11:13Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  I was her favorite. I was born on my mama's birthday, so we, we had a special bond. We would fight, me and my mom, we'd argue with each other. But that's sometime, you know, we fight, but we always make up.

• 11:24Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  He never had a birthday. Like it was always about my mother.

• 11:29Michelle Obama?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  When she finally died, then he had a birthday and it was his saddest birthday.

• 11:36Michelle Obama?

  You know, dad.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  A lonely cup.

• 11:42Michelle Obama?

  You got what you wanted. Wanted a birthday, here you go, here you go.

• 11:47Craig Robinson?

  Well, tell us more about, about your, your upbringing because having so many siblings, be so talented.

• 11:55Craig Robinson?

  Is, I mean, it's just the two of us. So we, we, this is all who we could play with.

• 12:00Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:01Craig Robinson?

  The two of us.

• 12:02Speaker 00

  The greatest things that we have is each other. And like, I don't have a lot of friends. Marlon has a lot of friends. Kim has a lot of friends.

• 12:09Michelle Obama?

  What's the matter with you, Damon?

• 12:12Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  See what I mean? He called me crazy.

• 12:16Michelle Obama?

  It's like, what?

• 12:17Speaker 00

  I don't really trust people.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  He trying to be, he trying to be open.

• 12:19Speaker 00

  And ridiculed and, you know, so friends have kind of turned on me. So I have his friends.

• 12:25Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 00

  They're my friends. And, you know, I'm friends with them because they're vetted. You know what I mean? And as long as he love them, I love them.

• 12:33Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 00

  When he stopped loving them, I don't have to feel nothing.

• 12:39Michelle Obama?

  It's like, we done with her. Like, let me go on and get my coffee.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  But we, we, I think we all get along. We, my mother made sure that we all played together. You know, made sure that when we argue, she, I'd go kiss in the mouth. That's when we argue. My mother go, go on, kiss him in the mouth. And Sean's breath was weird, so I, I decided to just get along with him no matter what.

• 13:01Craig Robinson?

  You know, Kelly did that with our kids, my wife.

• 13:05Michelle Obama?

  Made your youngest two kiss in the mouth? You never told me that story.

• 13:09Craig Robinson?

  Well, that's because they don't ever fight, because they don't want to kiss each other on the mouth.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  I saw the funniest thing online. There was two kids that was fighting and their mother made the two boys hug. And they sang, they had to sing the Wayans Brothers theme song. It's like, we're brothers. We're happy and we're sick and we're colored. I thought that was so cute.

• 13:30Michelle Obama?

  That's so sweet. They're so sweet.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  Do you guys have fistfights?

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Not with each other.

• 13:35Speaker 00

  No.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  I mean, my brother would cave my chest in, but that wasn't a fight.

• 13:39Michelle Obama?

  Just one punch, that one. I used to do that in his back, you know? Because I was little and just one of these hard, you could hear the echo in his back. It's like, you know?

• 13:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, we, we couldn't fistfight, because then you had to fight my father. And, yeah, he didn't, my father just didn't. He was like a guy who would, you know, send a message to all of you. And you don't want to be the example.

• 14:05Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 14:06Speaker 00

  You know, you don't, so, yeah, we didn't, it was no real fistfight.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  We don't fight each other, bro. We jumped people. And we, my mother always said, you know, four fists beat two any day. If you get in a fight, that means you getting in a fight. Nobody fight alone. So we got in a fight, you know.

• 14:22Craig Robinson?

  The baby would be kicking people.

• 14:27Michelle Obama?

  That reminds me of a time, I don't know if you knew this, because we, you know, close in age, went to the grammar school around the corner. And, you know, this is how close we were. You know, Craig was always a popular kid because we sports kid, did all the stuff. But at Bryn Mawr, I was coming out of school the end of the day. And for some reason, people came up and said, your brother's in a fight. Your brother's in a fight. They're geeking his ass, they're beating his ass. And I was always that tough girl. But the thought, like the image of you being beat up, I broke down, you know, because I was just envisioning you getting hit by some guys. And I don't know if I told you that, but I was like hysterical.

• 15:13Michelle Obama?

  And then you found out on playground that I was hysterical and you came over and you said, it was just a joke, nothing really happened. But I always thought I would be able to just, you know, thug up. But just the thought of him being hurt, I was surprised at myself, even though I was a little girl, I was like, get it together, get it together. But I couldn't.

• 15:35Craig Robinson?

  I remember that, I remember that. And it was one of those things where your friends are like joking around. So everybody was the victim at some point, where all of us kind of jumped them, but we weren't, they're not real punches. And she was so upset. And I do remember that. And then I became upset because you were upset.

• 16:03Craig Robinson?

  This episode of IMO is sponsored by Chase Home Lending, committed to supporting you all the way home with smart digital home buying tools and resources. Chase Home Lending is dedicated to helping individuals and families achieve their dream of home ownership. They offer Expert guidance throughout the home buying journey, helping customers navigate the process with confidence. This brings me back to a time when we grew up living upstairs from my aunt in a two family home that she owned and we rented. And it was a wonderful time, but being a renter, we had to be extremely careful of what we did. For example, we had to be quiet at a certain time. We couldn't play on the front lawn.

• 16:48Craig Robinson?

  My sister couldn't have a dog. And we didn't realize the importance of being a homeowner until we got late in life. We always would talk to our dad about why we don't own a home. And he talked about being house poor. Little did we know that homeownership was a great way to build equity. My sister and I ended up buying our own homes later in life, and we used that to help pay for our kids' college. And that is a way where homeownership can lead to future success. Chase Home Lending offers personalized support, expert knowledge and access to valuable resources,

• 17:31Craig Robinson?

  helping home buyers navigate the complexities of getting a mortgage. Their guidance ensures buyers find a financial fit and make informed decisions. Visit chase.com/start to see how Chase can support your homeownership journey. Member FDIC, equal housing opportunity.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  You know, it's funny is we didn't, I didn't go get my brothers when I got married. I would get my sisters.

• 18:03Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  My sister was vicious. Devon.

• 18:06Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  Devon, one time this kid Baldy Joe was beating me up. And he was like a 16 year old kid. And my sister had cornrows. She was about 250 pounds. She said, come here. And she grabbed him by his arms like this. And she said, Marlon, punch him in the face. I was like, Devon, he gonna beat me. She said, if you don't punch him, I'm gonna punch you. I was like, bow. And you know, my sister's always, always had my back in that.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  I didn't get my brother because I saw Keenan get beat up.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  Not like bad, like so Keenan used to walk around in Kung Fu slippers like he

• 18:40Michelle Obama?

  He was just a target.

• 18:42Speaker 00

  Bruce Lee, Jim Killian. And he loved, he had nunchucks, he would have like, and he was really good, he would kick the ceiling. And then one day, he got into a fight with this dude Bobby Boyd in the, in the building, in the lobby of the building. And Keenan, you know, everybody's like, oh snap, because he was going through karate, oh.

• 19:03Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  And then Keenan went to take off his shirt.

• 19:06Michelle Obama?

  Oh, man.

• 19:07Speaker 00

  And the dude snatched him.

• 19:09Michelle Obama?

  No.

• 19:10Speaker 00

  Like with his shadow over his head.

• 19:11Michelle Obama?

  Oh, man, that was one.

• 19:12Speaker 00

  And just pummeled him. And like, Keenan was on the floor.

• 19:16Michelle Obama?

  Oh, no.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  And there was like blood, sleep, sleeping through his shirt. And I'm like, get up, Keenan, use your nunchucks. Get up, you can do it.

• 19:24Michelle Obama?

  You can do it. Untangle your arms from your shirt.

• 19:29Michelle Obama?

  Oh, no. This guy you looked up.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  Don't make it, Keenan.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  If you do, make sure you take your shirt off.

• 19:35Michelle Obama?

  Take your shirt off, really. It's like, oh, man, that Bruce Lee didn't want to know about that. Don't lock yourself up in your shirt, you know? Oh, man. Bruce Lee didn't wear pullovers.

• 19:50Michelle Obama?

  When I think of you guys, you know, when I hear about your background, all of y'all living in two rooms, you know, it reminds me of how we grew up. I mean, it was just the two of us. That's the only reason, you know, there wasn't, that we felt like we had more space. But we grew up sharing a room until he went to high school. And then our parents turned the back porch into a bedroom so he could have his own room because they thought, well, you know, this grown negro needs to have his own room. But, you know, our childhood was like yours. No money, a lot of love, good values. Yes, humor. A lot of laughter.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  Government cheese?

• 20:35Michelle Obama?

  Yeah. Government cheese. You know, never government cheese because my, my father had a good city job, right? And that. Think that was the only reason, and there were two of us.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:45Michelle Obama?

  Probably if there had been ten of us, the government cheese would have been involved, you know? Um, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't um think about the values our parents instilled. And you know, we just lost our mother last year. You know, and it's like, you know, you never stop grieving that. I mean, I still can't even talk about her or my dad without, you know, losing it, which is a tough thing to do when you're speaking in front of a thousand people and it's like.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  I know.

• 21:14Michelle Obama?

  Um, but there are just a lot of phrases and words that go through my mind. Every day that they instilled, and I'm just wondering, you must have some of those.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  I live my parents.

• 21:26Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  I, I, I live them, like with my everyday effort, I try to honor my parents.

• 21:31Michelle Obama?

  Yep.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  When it comes to loving my siblings.

• 21:34Michelle Obama?

  Yep.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  They're all so different and it's a lot. But I make sure because I know my mother would want that.

• 21:39Michelle Obama?

  Yep.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  I know my father would want that. And so I try to honor them with my actions. I try to honor them as a good father, as a good uncle, with my nephews and my nieces. And it's always an open door and to honor them with love and, and to be an example. You know, that's why I don't go to parties and things like I used to, you know, because I know I have grown kids. My grown kids are looking at me to be an example, so, and then I, I have to, I'm the linchpin between our generation and their generation. So as the baby, I'm the oldest of these, this next generation. So I have to instill all that my parents governed us and instill that into them. And I think one of the greatest thing my father ever did was besides the fear of him, he gave us the fear of God.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  And um, I think that helped us a lot.

• 22:26Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Recovered it.

• 22:27Speaker 00

  I, yeah, I, I wear this baseball hat and suit because of my dad.

• 22:34Michelle Obama?

  How so?

• 22:34Speaker 00

  I used to laugh at him, we used to laugh at him because he would wear a suit with a baseball hat, like a Mo Money hat. Right? He had all, all the hats from our shows and he would like wear them because he was proud of us. And so that's why I wear this in honor of my dad. And I wear my mother's underwear because, no.

• 22:58Craig Robinson?

  You had me there. I just fell right into that.

• 23:01Michelle Obama?

  I know. It's like, darn, you got me. No.

• 23:03Craig Robinson?

  So, but when you guys first started out, did you have real jobs? Or did you, because your older brothers were already in the business, you went straight there? I'm sure you had to have eight, nine.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  I've been working since I was seven years old.

• 23:19Michelle Obama?

  So that makes me wonder where, you know, a lot of black families would be like, entertainment, you know? You know, you gotta go get a job. What was it about your parents that they were so encouraging?

• 23:34Speaker 03

  It wasn't my parents.

• 23:35Michelle Obama?

  Okay, okay, okay, let's clarify.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  They were black parents. Like, what you mean entertainment? You ain't never been entertaining and I know you my whole life. Keenan was like, I'm going to pursue my dreams. I'm not gonna pursue your dreams.

• 23:49Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  I'm gonna pursue my dream. And, and, and that took a lot of courage. And I remember when he did it. And I remember the impact it had on me as a kid. And it's funny, as a man, Keenan still wants me to now do his dream. And I'm like, no, I wanna do my dream. Like, you did your dream.

• 24:08Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  But that was very powerful and impactful for our family.

• 24:11Michelle Obama?

  Was Keenan kind of as the eldest, as really kind of father-like because of the age difference?

• 24:19Speaker 00

  It was that, and he was, he just had it together. Keenan had vision, right? My old, I had an old, older brother, Dwayne, who was paranoid schizophrenic. So you couldn't take any direction from him.

• 24:32Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah, it's like.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  I remember he tried to teach me to drive. Turn the wheel, turn the wheel. We're on the freeway, I'm eight.

• 24:38Craig Robinson?

  Wait.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  Turn the wheel, I'm eight.

• 24:41Craig Robinson?

  First of all, you were eight, not eighteen.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Eight years old, no seatbelts. We had to stand up in the car.

• 24:46Craig Robinson?

  If you turn, you're flying out, we're like that.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  Turn the wheel, turn the wheel. And I just started laughing.

• 24:56Michelle Obama?

  So that brother was out. So we know not to follow his.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Don't follow Dwayne.

• 25:02Michelle Obama?

  Don't follow Dwayne.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Keenan was always like, you know, he was an A student. You know, he was, it's interesting how life will take you on this journey. Bruce Lee said, stay liquid so you always end up where you're supposed to be.

• 25:17Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 25:17Speaker 00

  And so with Keenan, he told me, he went to Tuskegee. And he went there to learn that the improvisation club was two miles away from where we live.

• 25:32Michelle Obama?

  Oh, wow. Yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 00

  Cause he used to like stand, they had a totem pole and he would stand out there and tell jokes like every day. And someone came up to him and said, man, you funny, you should do stand up comedy. Like right down the block from where we grew up. That's what he says he learned from college.

• 25:47Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, it's like what was two blocks.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  Not liquid, but not to take your shirt off if it's a.

• 25:52Michelle Obama?

  In the middle of the fight.

• 25:56Michelle Obama?

  A different, different kind of liquid.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, and for me, my journey, I started out wanting to be a singer.

• 26:06Michelle Obama?

  Can you sing?

• 26:07Speaker 00

  No, when I was young, no, when I was young.

• 26:10Michelle Obama?

  That seems like an obvious question to ask. Can you sing?

• 26:13Speaker 00

  Like Michael Jackson.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  I saw him do a gerbil in a, in a driver's disposal. I hate the way you sing.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  Now I can't because my, when I went through puberty, I told my mother, I said, Ma, could I take some lessons? She said, boy, I can't even feed you.

• 26:30Michelle Obama?

  You don't get no lessons.

• 26:32Speaker 00

  You don't get no lessons. Find something else to do.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  And so I started DJing and that was my dream. I wanted to be a DJ.

• 26:41Michelle Obama?

  Craig was a DJ in college.

• 26:42Speaker 00

  Turntables and. Mixer? Yeah, and with stems and all the stuff you can do now.

• 26:48Michelle Obama?

  His DJ name was Craigie Craig.

• 26:49Speaker 00

  Craigie Craig.

• 26:55Speaker 00

  And so I, I went to, um, I used to throw parties up in, um, when I was, I moved out of my house, up my parents' house at 16. I lived with my cousin up in Marble Hill, the projects. And we used to throw parties and all the girls be out there. It was like, it was fun. And then when Kena moved to California, he gave me his apartment in, um, in Washington Heights. And I was like, okay, cool. So I told my cousin, I'm moving. And he's like, um, all right. Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. And I had all this equipment. I had like speakers the size of washing machines.

• 27:30Michelle Obama?

  Cause that's how big speakers were back in the day.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  I made them myself, like I went to downtown, bought tweeters and the sub whoopers and all that. And my cousin, I came back to get my stuff and it was all gone.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 27:46Speaker 00

  And I was like, yo, Reading, you need to give me my stuff back. He was actually 250 pounds at 14 years old. So I knew he could beat me, you know?

• 27:56Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 27:57Speaker 00

  But I, you know, cause I was like 125 pounds, right? And so I just had to take that on the chin and find something else to do. I told his mother, I don't know, he took my stuff. She said, you ain't expect to live here for free. I was like, you were in on this?

• 28:15Speaker 00

  And he took all my stuff and he hurried up to a barber shop. I taught him how to cut hair. Took it to this barber shop and I was just like, what am I gonna do? And then I found stand up. So it's interesting how, where the journey will take you. I wouldn't have done stand up if I was gonna be, if I was really committed to being the DJ.

• 28:34Michelle Obama?

  Yeah. Where's your cousin now?

• 28:37Speaker 00

  He died.

• 28:37Michelle Obama?

  Oh, okay. Well, we won't talk about him then.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  Just cause he stole his equipment. He didn't cry at the funeral. They made sure they put him in a real little casket.

• 28:49Craig Robinson?

  I'll show him.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  We had to tuck him into gas. He was a circle.

• 28:57Michelle Obama?

  It was like, here you go. Pay it back, pay it back. Well, you know, with such a big family, because it's not just your brothers and sisters, but extended family. I mean, I talk to a lot of black folks, you know, make it big. And it's just the pressure to take care of everybody can be overwhelming. And I'm, have you guys been in that position because of your fame, because of your, where folks are like, yo, yo.

• 29:26Speaker 03

  I just refuse to.

• 29:27Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think of it like this. I think the more I give, the more God provides.

• 29:33Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  He's never let me down. So it doesn't matter what people want, no matter what I have to do, I just give. And God is taking care of me every day. I'm not, all my kids is healthy. My kids are eating, they're thriving. I can't ask them, I'm healthy. If I can do anything, if I need to fly home to go do something, and not just money, I try to be present. I try to show up. And that's my assignment from God and my parents, to love my siblings and my family like my mother and my father would, you know, want me to. And that's, that's just what I do.

• 30:06Michelle Obama?

  That's beautiful.

• 30:07Craig Robinson?

  Well, we've, we've got a listener who's a mom, who is trying, she's got younger kids and trying to raise her kids to not be so competitive with each other and be more collegial with each other and get along.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  Make them kiss in the mouth.

• 30:25Michelle Obama?

  There you go. That's one.

• 30:28Speaker 00

  I think, I think competition is good, you know, if it's a healthy competition. Like, we compete like comedically, right? So the joke is thrown on the table, and then we all, you know, give our different takes on it. But whoever threw it on the table, that's their joke.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  And I think in the spirit of the, of the competition, it's, I just want to, like, when I do a scene with Damon, the only thing I'm thinking is, I don't want to be funnier than Damon.

• 30:59Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  I want to make my brother laugh.

• 31:02Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  I want to break him and break his son, because then I know what I'm doing is funny.

• 31:07Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  If he stutters, or he's, he's holding back a laugh, I know I'm doing something right. And that's going to inspire him to go, okay, next take, I got something for you. You know? The scenes to love. Don't be lying, he's in it for himself. But that's why I make us laugh.

• 31:23Craig Robinson?

  Does Marlon do the best impressions of everybody in the family?

• 31:26Speaker 03

  No, Sean.

• 31:27Craig Robinson?

  Sean.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  Sean's natural. Sean is the Jay Farrell of the Wayans family. That man's impressions, he does my father so good. You would think my father, he does my father better than my father did my father. Sean Brandt, Sean Brandt. He is.

• 31:44Craig Robinson?

  Well, let's hear the question, and it's from Gina in Orange County.

• 31:56Craig Robinson?

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• 32:40Craig Robinson?

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• 33:24Craig Robinson?

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• 34:04Craig Robinson?

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• 34:48Craig Robinson?

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• 35:27Speaker 05

  Hi, I'm Asha and Craig. My name is Gina and my question is, what was it that your parents said or did that helped you grow to love and support one another throughout the years as siblings? As a full-time working mom of four kids, ages nine, seven, five, and five, one of the most difficult challenges of parenting has been trying to raise my kids to support each other. There seems to be a lot of competition between them, especially between my twin boys. As one of five siblings myself, growing up in a challenging immigrant environment, we just knew not to fight over any frivolous things. There was and still is a lot of love

• 36:11Speaker 05

  between myself and my siblings. Yet, seeing my kids who are so fortunate and privileged bicker and fight over the simplest things has been baffling. Any words of wisdom for this mama? Thank you for creating this platform. Gina from Orange County.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  I think my parents taught us to respect their elders. So my respect as the baby, all my siblings, my sisters, I don't care how much money they got. I still gotta listen to them and, you know, I respect them. Damon, Keenan, my big brother Dwayne, you know, the older sibling sets the example for the younger sibling. My older brother Dwayne was a great big brother to Keenan and Damon. He was very protective to Keenan. When he wasn't hitting you in the head with a woofing ball bat. See, Damon's like, don't quite remember it that way. Damon's old grudges. I love Dwayne. But Dwayne taught, you know, he was very protective of Keenan. And he was kind of like the offensive line to a great quarterback.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Sometimes it's just that extra block and he just gave him that space. And Keenan respected Dwayne and Damon respected Keenan. I respect all of my siblings. So I think somebody has to set the example. And then you have to teach them respect and honor and love and that we're all doing this together.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  It's funny, it was like even now, this is how my family is. Like I'm 65 years old and Keenan go, "Go get me a soda." And I gotta go get it.

• 37:42Michelle Obama?

  And you do.

• 37:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, I gotta go get it. And it's just like.

• 37:46Michelle Obama?

  That doesn't work that way in our family.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  She's like, go get me a soda.

• 37:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. If, if Keena, if Marlon walks in the room.

• 37:56Michelle Obama?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:56Speaker 00

  And, no, if I walk in a room and there's no seats.

• 38:01Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 38:02Speaker 00

  Marlon gets up.

• 38:03Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 38:04Speaker 00

  Sean and Keena will sit.

• 38:05Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 00

  And Marlon will get up. We sit here. And my son will have to.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  That's why I love the fact that they have children.

• 38:11Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  Cause I just use that. I, I go to my theater sometime and Lil Damon's there and Mikey's there. And as soon as I walk in the room, the youngest one gets up.

• 38:20Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  And lets me sit down. Without question. I love that.

• 38:23Craig Robinson?

  Did your parents instill that? Or did you all do that sort of?

• 38:28Speaker 03

  Just a code.

• 38:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's just a code.

• 38:30Craig Robinson?

  Informally.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Quiet code. We didn't teach them that. They just watch how we do with each other.

• 38:35Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  And it's just a quiet code. Some things you don't have to teach. It's just what you, what you see.

• 38:40Michelle Obama?

  But it starts at the top. I mean, the way you talk about your father. I mean, there was, you know, there was sometimes a level of fear because you didn't know what he was gonna do. But what was always there was a level of respect.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:53Michelle Obama?

  You know, and so whether you felt like that was happening just as your code, it started because that's how you thought of your father.

• 39:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:01Michelle Obama?

  And I'm sure that had a little bit to do with how your parents interacted. But I, I also know that as siblings, sometimes we read the parental relationship differently or the situation. I'm wondering if you guys have different takes on.

• 39:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was scared to death of my father.

• 39:18Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 00

  Scared. Like, he would pants my father. Like, my father be talking, he'd just snatch his pants off.

• 39:23Michelle Obama?

  Oh, dad.

• 39:24Speaker 00

  And for me, that was like a suicide.

• 39:26Michelle Obama?

  That's why you're so crazy.

• 39:27Speaker 00

  That's suicide. Yes.

• 39:28Michelle Obama?

  You would pants your father.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  And my father, hey, Jack, come on.

• 39:31Michelle Obama?

  Hey, hey.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  I was my, those were my friends.

• 39:34Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  My mother and my father were my friends. They were their parents.

• 39:37Speaker 00

  I was.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  I came along. My dad, they had money. My brothers had got some houses.

• 39:41Michelle Obama?

  They were tired by the time you came around.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  My daddy had breasts. Who you gonna? He pulled that helmet, man. Belt was all soggy. Man, if you don't sit your ass down, let's talk about this. All right, I come home at 1:30 instead of 2:00. But, you know, beyond the fear of my father, I respected my father. And it was the man that he was, that he showed up every day. That man made sure he never left us. Never left us. And there was a time when him and my mother was breaking up.

• 40:09Michelle Obama?

  Yep, yep.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  And, and all the kids was out the house, except me and Sean. And my dad moved to Harlem. And my mother, at that time, she had her little schizophrenia going on. So she was cursing him out, calling him all kinds of names. My father left. And then he came back like a month later because he was like, I'm not done yet. My two boys need me. I didn't come this far to abandon. And he, cause me and Sean started acting bad.

• 40:33Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  And he was like, no, I'm not, I'm gonna finish this assignment from God. And he showed up and he, and, and that example for me, I, I didn't fear my father. I just respect my father and I love that man.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  I feared him. Like we, I used to go and we used to like rob houses for stereo, for music equipment, DJ stuff.

• 40:51Michelle Obama?

  So that's, it was just payback. This is what I'm saying. That's karma. Okay, okay. Now it all, see, we all caught that, it's like, what?

• 41:00Speaker 00

  No, but the stuff my cousin took was stuff that I bought.

• 41:03Michelle Obama?

  Oh, unlike the stuff you stole.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  That they bought.

• 41:07Speaker 00

  But listen, I would go with my friends, but.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  He's like, that's not the point, that's not the point.

• 41:11Michelle Obama?

  We digress, we digress.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, I couldn't bring it home.

• 41:14Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 00

  So my dad was like the security guy at Best Buy. You need the receipt, where'd you get it from?

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  And how, how'd you, where'd you make the money? You couldn't, you couldn't just bring stolen anything.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  Into the house.

• 41:29Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  I had a friend, Seymour, his mother would be shouting out requests. Seymour, play Bob Marley. I was like, what?

• 41:39Speaker 00

  On that stolen stuff, boy, get it out of my house.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  If you don't put on my family.

• 41:46Speaker 00

  But it was just a different kind of upbringing, you know? And that fear kept me out of a lot of trouble. Stuff that I would think about doing, I wouldn't do because I thought about my dad. If I got arrested, you know what? Keep me here, officer.

• 42:02Michelle Obama?

  Yep, yep.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, I don't want my father picking me up. I wouldn't even tell him my name.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  I'm serious, I was arrested, what, till they just let me go because I wasn't telling my name. Ingenious. Fear. Yes.

• 42:18Michelle Obama?

  But when I think about, you know, what our parents did or didn't do, and maybe it's a little bit different because we're brother sister, because that same, that same gender dynamic may make it a little bit hard. But I know we got along for some of the same reasons. It was the, you know, it was, we didn't want to, our parents worked hard enough without us fighting and causing havoc. We knew our parents were working as hard as they could. We knew that they were giving us as much as they could. We, I guess we grew up grateful. And perhaps sometimes in this generation where kids have, I think, too much,

• 43:02Michelle Obama?

  you know, parents are giving kids a lot of stuff and they're not giving them some guidance. That what we had was a lot of gratitude for the little bit that we did have. So it was sort of like, well, what, what was there left for us to be fighting about? I don't know about you, but my parents never asked me once whether I was happy.

• 43:24Speaker 00

  Nope, never.

• 43:25Michelle Obama?

  There was, that was never even a question.

• 43:28Speaker 00

  My mom said, get out of here with that stupid look on your face.

• 43:34Michelle Obama?

  And I think we, you know, to the questioner, I think, you know, how do you get your kids to get along? I think, I think parents have to sort of look at the foundation they're setting. Because kids don't just, out of the blue, fight all the time. You know, that's not in their nature. So, the question has to be, what tone are you setting in the house?

• 43:58Speaker 03

  Well, it's funny, my parents, they argue like cats and dogs. And I guess we was like, we don't want to be like that.

• 44:03Michelle Obama?

  Right, right, but I'm not talking about arguing or not. It's, are you establishing the foundations of respect?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:10Michelle Obama?

  Like, do they respect you? Or, or do they think you one of their little friends?

• 44:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:15Michelle Obama?

  Right? Because what I do with Malia, did with Malia and Sasha, you know, I didn't mediate in between them, you know? Because I was like, I love you both, and if I don't know who was wrong, you know, don't ask me to get in it. But what I would say is that, if I have to get in it, everybody's in trouble. Yes. You know, that's, that's all I can do. Because I don't want to play favorites. I'm not sure who's telling the truth. And so, if I'm involved, I don't care what happened. Everybody, play is shut down, doors closed, computers off, it's over. And it was interesting that, you know, they wouldn't want me involved as a result. So, they'd wind up, you'd hear them in, in the White House,

• 44:59Michelle Obama?

  because their doors faced each other. There was a hall door into their rooms, and their two bedrooms faced each other. And I'd say, you know, go, I don't care what you do, but figure it out. So, you'd hear this, that quiet fighting, like, Sasha, if you don't, and I tell you, and I, wait, man's gonna hear, and a slam, and a slam. But eventually, they'd figure it out, because they wanted to keep playing.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  The other thing we had to do was...

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Dinner time altogether.

• 45:30Michelle Obama?

  Oh, yeah, we did that.

• 45:33Speaker 00

  I know that if we had a phone.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  If we had dinner.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  You had dinner?

• 45:41Michelle Obama?

  Did you have dinner?

• 45:43Speaker 00

  No, even when we didn't have dinner, we had to get, sit around so he could tell us there ain't no food. But, and then we'd have a discussion about it, but, you know, dinner was something that you, you didn't have an option. There was no, can I go?

• 46:00Michelle Obama?

  That was the same way in our house.

• 46:02Speaker 00

  Sit your butt down in your seat and eat, and then we had to clean up. Like, I would have to wash dishes, or I would have to, you know, take out the garbage to clean. You know, each one had an assignment.

• 46:13Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  So, those kind of things, you realize, we can't watch TV until we all do this. Until the kitchen is clean.

• 46:22Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 46:23Speaker 00

  Right? So, it's simple things like that, that teach your kids to work together.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  And also, my mother buddied us up, right? So, it's always like Sean, everywhere I went, that's your baby. He had to take his baby with him.

• 46:38Michelle Obama?

  What's the age difference?

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Me and Sean a year and a half, so.

• 46:42Speaker 00

  And me and Kenan were like that.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  Year and a half, that's your baby. And you, you just, me and Sean, we dreamed together, like, we used to watch TV together. We used to watch Abbott and Costello. We watched Honeymooners, because in our little minds, at four and five years old, we was gonna create our own TV show.

• 46:57Michelle Obama?

  Really? You knew that early?

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, because I seen them on TV, and I was just like, wait, we can actually do this?

• 47:03Michelle Obama?

  That's right.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  So, from the young age, like, seven, eight years old, me and Sean, we was like, we're gonna write our own show. So, we just studied, and we had this buddy thing we always did, and my mother made us go. We were frickin' frack. If Sean was there, it was, my father used to call us Ma and Sean. Marlon, Sean.

• 47:21Michelle Obama?

  Marlon, Sean.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  We have to go to go get their coffee.

• 47:24Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  We have to go to a grocery store together. They buddied us up. And so that makes you take care of your younger sibling. It makes me responsible as an older sibling.

• 47:32Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 47:32Speaker 00

  And it's weird how that is in the next generation.

• 47:36Craig Robinson?

  I was just gonna ask that. How you doing with your own kids?

• 47:40Speaker 00

  You got Anaya and Berlin that paired up. You got Kaden and Maverick. You know, they all, each one has their.

• 47:47Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Aunt Aura, their buddy cousin. Like, my son and Sean's daughter, Aaliyah, they're 23 years old. They at my house, writing together. They're directing together. They're shooting music videos together. And then Leila, who Sean's other daughter, is a DJ and a singer and a producer. And so the three of them all work together. And they never, they've never really argued. They have so much fun. You would think they were siblings. We have a very tight knit family.

• 48:17Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Very.

• 48:19Craig Robinson?

  What are some of the strategies that you guys, other than buddying up, that you learned from your parents that you're using on your own children? Because I think Gina would be able to hopefully take some, something away from that.

• 48:33Speaker 00

  Well, the interesting thing is I go, you know, and some things I should have done just like my parents. But I was so traumatized growing up that like I, like with my kids, my sons, I didn't like spanking them. I hated.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, it really hurts. Like, it hurt me.

• 48:53Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  I hit my kids one time.

• 48:55Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, I was the same way.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  And I cried like a baby because I was like, I, I can't do that to them.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  It made me think about.

• 49:02Michelle Obama?

  I felt silly for the, and I took a couple of spankings for me to be like, yeah, you know what?

• 49:08Speaker 03

  After the 52nd one, I was like.

• 49:10Michelle Obama?

  But you, I felt like, you know, this is a little kid. And the fact that I can't think of any better way to get my point across than to smack somebody on the butt. I felt embarrassed in the same way.

• 49:24Speaker 00

  Boys are different, though. Like, boys are actively seeking.

• 49:30Speaker 00

  Destruction. That's like that.

• 49:33Craig Robinson?

  I thought you were gonna say discipline.

• 49:36Speaker 00

  They just do the stupidest thing. They jump off the roof. My son would jump off the roof into the pool.

• 49:42Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 49:43Speaker 00

  Watch this dad. What? And he's in the pool and you just go, do you know how many different ways you could hurt yourself? But that was their thing, riding a bike down the hill backwards. It's like, what are you guys doing? But that's just something in, I think, boys' DNA that just makes them just a little aggressive and stupid. You know, whereas my daughters, I talk to them. You know, I frustrate them, you know, because like with my daughters, I realize, you know, at a certain age, they don't want to hear what you guys say.

• 50:14Michelle Obama?

  That's, and it comes pretty early.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, and so what I do is go, well, you're right where you want to be, baby. And when you get tired of being there, you'll change.

• 50:25Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  That doesn't help me right now. But I know that I can't tell you, you don't want to hear what I have to say about your boyfriend.

• 50:35Speaker 00

  You don't, you don't want to.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna allow you to deflect. I'm just gonna, I'm on your team. I'm not gonna be the obstacle in your way that you're, I don't want to be the fight. I'm here to support you, love you, whatever you want to do. It's your life. I'll pick up the pieces afterwards.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Because you, you realize if you, you know, if you try to, you know, let's stay with the boyfriend, say something about someone's boyfriend, then you're attacking their ability to pick someone for themselves. So they defend them, they hold on and they fight. But if you just step back, then they're gonna see that, they'll see what I see. And they'll see it quicker. Oh, this dude ain't nothing.

• 51:18Michelle Obama?

  Well, I talk about that as like you, you guys are handing your children their lives and you're doing it early so that they can learn from their own mistakes. And I think nowadays, a lot of parents are trying to live their kids' lives for them so that they don't make any mistakes and don't feel any sense of failure, which keeps them. From learning, I tend to agree with that in my parenting principles too. It's like, you know what, I, you know, I raised y'all to be, to have some sense, to have some judgment, and at some point, you've got to practice that, which means that I've got to let go. So even in the White House, you know, my motto before these kids went to college,

• 52:02Michelle Obama?

  I gave them more rope, because it was like, here, have more freedom.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  That's because you had Secret Service.

• 52:08Michelle Obama?

  Well, that was also, that was also true, you know. Barack will say, his real reason for wanting to be a president.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  He's a secret service.

• 52:16Michelle Obama?

  Second term was that having teenage girls running around with men with guns. But, yeah, he would say that all the time. He's like, okay, I think I can do this another four years, because look at them. They're growing up. But knowing that they wouldn't live with that kind of security for their entire lives. It was like, one day, you will be out there. And I think that the reverse happens now, is that everybody's trying to hold on, right, to their kids. But one day, they're going to get out there. And the only thing that is for certain for kids getting out in the world is they're going to get hit with some failure. That's the only thing that's guaranteed.

• 52:59Michelle Obama?

  So we've got to start preparing them early for that, letting them practice making their own decisions and, you know, choosing the knucklehead boyfriend and holding your tongue and, you know, and showing them that you trust them, so that when they do fail, they'll come back.

• 53:22Craig Robinson?

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• 54:04Craig Robinson?

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• 54:48Craig Robinson?

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• 55:33Craig Robinson?

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• 55:43Craig Robinson?

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• 57:16Speaker 03

  It's funny, I hold my tongue, but I say what I'm gonna say. I have to give my honest opinion, but what I'm not gonna do is give you like a real emotion that's tethered to that.

• 57:26Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  I'm just gonna say what I gotta say as an adult, and then whatever you choose to do, that's on you. But I had to tell you what you asked my opinion.

• 57:35Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  I'm gonna give it to you straight. Now, after that, I love you.

• 57:38Speaker 00

  Well, if you ask my opinion, I'm gonna take it. But if you don't, Keenan always say, "A worthy inquiry."

• 57:46Speaker 00

  You ask, I tell, if you don't, then you gotta let life talk.

• 57:49Michelle Obama?

  Yeah. You are, the way you are impersonate.

• 57:53Speaker 00

  Your brothers and sisters. We're all doing an impression of Sean. Doing an impression. An impression of Keenan.

• 58:01Michelle Obama?

  Well, speaking of parenting, I wanted to talk, Marlon, a bit about, you know, just so proud of how you are being a role model for dealing with a child that's transgender.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 58:16Michelle Obama?

  And that's, you know, that warms my heart, particularly as a black man. You know, would you care to share that journey of?

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Well, I learned like, like, and their transition really taught me what real unconditional love was.

• 58:35Michelle Obama?

  Yep.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  When I went, when they went through the transition, I actually went through the transition.

• 58:41Michelle Obama?

  Yep.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  I went from denial to complete acceptance. And it took me a week to get there, you know, and what I've learned as a parent is for you to stop loving your child because of their choice in their life, that's a poor reflection on you. You know what I mean? When there's people that go, I'm not going to associate with you because you do that, or this is against God and this and it's like, listen, I am not here to judge. I am not God. Only God can judge. And I say this, you know, and if that's a mistake and we get to heaven and God don't let my child in, I'm gonna shave her beard and sneak them in through the back.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  But I'm going to love my baby and I'm never gonna, I'm a father. And I'm always gonna defend them. I'm always gonna protect them. I was gonna respect them. And there's nothing anybody could ever tell me. I could lose fans, good. I lost people that are small minded, small hearted and self loathing. So goodbye. And I gained, for every one I lose,

• 59:36Michelle Obama?

  Yep.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  I gained 150 more.

• 59:38Michelle Obama?

  Yep.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  You know?

• 59:39Speaker 00

  So for me, as the uncle, you know, it's, I love you, period, right? But somebody gotta write a rulebook. And how I need to treat you. Because I don't know.

• 59:51Speaker 03

  Like, hey buddy.

• 59:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  Can I shake your hand? Can I put you in a headlock? Can I treat you like my nephew? I don't know. You know, and I don't want you to ever feel that I'm judging you.

• 1:00:04Michelle Obama?

  That's right, because you just don't know. I used to say it's like going to your grandmother and expecting them to learn a new language overnight. You know, it's like they've been speaking this language, using pronouns in this way for their entire life. And to get it wrong, it's a mutual patience with the process.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  And they've been very patient with me and their mother. Because, you know, when they changed their name, I'm like, I called you a Mai for 23 years. What you mean Kai? Kai, I know you was a Mai. What you mean them? I know you was her. And it was a process. And at the end of the day, it's respect. That's what they want and that's their wishes. So, respect their wishes. And I know that the same child is in there. They're brilliant, right? And that's all I really care about is they're kind-hearted, they're really funny, have a great sense of humor, and extremely intelligent. And, you know, those are the things I'm proud of. Are you a good person?

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  I don't care about your sexualities and, you know, all these other things, your genders or associations. I care that you are a good-hearted person. That you take care of your siblings, your mother, you're respectful. They have been wonderful their whole life. I've never had any problem with them at all. So, you know.

• 1:01:25Michelle Obama?

  And I like to be putting that out there for the world. I mean, because, you know, we just, especially in our community, you know, we've sacrificed a lot over this issue.

• 1:01:39Michelle Obama?

  And it's all about realizing that we gotta love people how they come to us, period. Not just our kids, but all kids. And the notion that, you know, we would, you know, put people in unfair advantages, put them, their lives at risk over some nonsense.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  Because those are bad people. End of the day, when you are being divisive like that, you are a bad person. Your core is bad. You, no matter what you do, you're not gonna make your way in heaven. My job is to be here to give laughter and to give love and everything. That gotta be my intention and will always be. And that, like I said, I'm a father. That's my baby. And, you know, I'll fight, fight with them to the end, period.

• 1:02:27Michelle Obama?

  I love that.

• 1:02:27Craig Robinson?

  You guys should, I mean, that's just absolutely wonderful. And your parents did such a great job with you. I sound like an old man now.

• 1:02:36Michelle Obama?

  This is how people talk to us.

• 1:02:38Craig Robinson?

  You know, it's just, and, and, and you, it's just, you love to hear when people tell you unsolicited things about your kids. You know, I, I know I do. When people come up and say, you know, your son was doing such and such, and he's just such a wonderful kid. And I think for Gina, she's just gotta have the confidence to raise them now. Don't be friends with them now. Raise them now. And they'll be great human beings that you can be friends with when they're in their 30s.

• 1:03:15Michelle Obama?

  You know, our parents were not our friends. They were people who loved us and taught us respect and boundaries and hard work. And I'm not saying this for us, but I'm saying this for people listening. Cause I think we get this wrong about what our kids need and want. And our kids need and want guidance, respect, love, discipline. You know, none of that, we all got disciplined, you know? But none of that stopped us from loving our parents and revering them, you know? So I, I want people out there.

• 1:03:47Speaker 03

  For five minutes after the ass women's, I'll be like, I wanna have this.

• 1:03:50Michelle Obama?

  That's right. There was always that. I have, I have cursed out my mother underneath my breath on several occasions, you know? But you never did it to their face.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  Ever.

• 1:04:00Michelle Obama?

  You know, this notion that I hate my mom. It's like, you better say that in your head, in your room. You don't say that out loud, you know? Parents are too afraid to set those kind of boundaries. And I think that's also part of the challenge that we're facing in this generation. We're replacing love and respect with stuff.

• 1:04:21Michelle Obama?

  And I just, you know, I just, I want to be a proponent for reinstating some of the stuff that we had, some of the, some of the, the good old wisdom that our parents had in raising kids. So we have room in the parenting proposition to be a little more like, get up, you know, get yourself together, you know, to criticize them, to give them strong guidance, to give them our opinions, to direct them.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  And engage with them.

• 1:04:51Michelle Obama?

  And engage with them.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  I have this little two-year-old.

• 1:04:53Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  And she's such a gift.

• 1:04:55Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  And when I have her on Mondays, we go to dinner, we, I cook for her. I, I, it's just me and her.

• 1:05:03Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  Daddy and Axel, we, we do every, I, I make sure, and she'll say, Dad, come play with me.

• 1:05:09Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  And so I go to her room and we'll have a tea party. And, you know, those things, I think, creating those memories, for me, that's the most, she brings out the kid in me.

• 1:05:19Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  And I, I think parents need to take more time, when you have time, to spend with them in that way, and that, that, that, you know, play with them.

• 1:05:29Craig Robinson?

  Yeah, that, that's a great place to start with sort of parting advice for Gina, right? You can't be too busy to parent. You can't be too tired to parent.

• 1:05:40Michelle Obama?

  Never.

• 1:05:40Craig Robinson?

  You can't, you know, you can't be too.

• 1:05:43Michelle Obama?

  You can't outsource it to a phone.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  Or to a nanny.

• 1:05:47Craig Robinson?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  Those are your kids.

• 1:05:49Craig Robinson?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  My mama didn't have no nanny.

• 1:05:50Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:51Speaker 03

  My mother took kids, she was just, my mother had black elbows.

• 1:05:54Michelle Obama?

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  Light-skinned woman, black elbow.

• 1:05:56Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Why? Because we had a black windowsill in the projects, and my mother used to sit on that windowsill and watch us play in the middle, all of our kids. Damon, get down from there.

• 1:06:07Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  Shawn, don't hit him with that bat. My mother sat there with, on that windowsill, watching us, to the point to where her elbows was black. My mama watched her children. Don't be having other people watch your kids. Keep your eyes on your kids. That is your responsibility.

• 1:06:23Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:06:26Michelle Obama?

  I know, really.

• 1:06:30Michelle Obama?

  It's like, did I do enough?

• 1:06:35Speaker 03

  Did I do enough?

• 1:06:40Craig Robinson?

  But no, Damien, any parting advice for Gina?

• 1:06:43Speaker 00

  I think you just have to love them and

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  accept everything.

• 1:06:49Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  And expect nothing. Because you can't put all your hopes and dreams in them.

• 1:06:55Michelle Obama?

  Ooh, amen.

• 1:06:56Speaker 00

  You have to let them, you know, what is life if you don't learn lessons? You know, and they they will figure it out. It's four of them.

• 1:07:05Speaker 03

  And in a way.

• 1:07:06Speaker 00

  But right now, they're probably figuring out who's the alpha.

• 1:07:09Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:07:10Speaker 00

  Right? Some of it is like trying to figure out what the hierarchy is.

• 1:07:13Michelle Obama?

  That's just the natural order of things.

• 1:07:14Speaker 00

  And you have to just trust that they're gonna figure it out. And you're there setting the example of what it ultimately should be.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  And I find that your kids are raising you in this way. They're trying to teach you something about yourself. They're trying to, they're asking you to be more patient. They're asking you to find different ways to communicate. They, the kids are really teaching you, like my child taught me unconditional love. I used to always say unconditional love and then it was like, okay, you really want to practice that? Well, do it.

• 1:07:49Michelle Obama?

  There you go. Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  And that made me go, oh, this is what I was asking of people.

• 1:07:55Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:56Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:07:56Michelle Obama?

  I do, I, yeah, I like that because it's like, what are your, what are your kids telling you in their disputes in there? Are they asking for attention? Are they just looking to grow? You know, it may not be a problem at all that your kids are, are figuring out how to get along with each other, you know? An argument is not always a bad thing, you know? A little scuffle may not be a bad thing. It depends on what's at the foundation of it, you know?

• 1:08:26Speaker 00

  Sometimes it's you. My mother would go,

• 1:08:27Michelle Obama?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:28Speaker 00

  "Where'd you get that foul mouth from?"

• 1:08:30Michelle Obama?

  Oh.

• 1:08:37Michelle Obama?

  Showing you yourself.

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:40Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, you guys are, you know, pretty amazing.

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:08:47Speaker 00

  It's amazing to know amazing.

• 1:08:48Michelle Obama?

  Don't fall far from the tree. I wish I knew your parents. I did, I do. I wish I could look your parents in the eye and tell them, wow, you know, what wisdom. You know, that's what IMO is about. It's like, we now have wisdom. We're now at the age where we are them. And we have learned a lot from them. And part of that obligation is to share it with folks who maybe didn't have that.

• 1:09:18Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:09:18Michelle Obama?

  Right? Because there are a lot of people trying to figure out, can I be a good parent if I don't have money? If I'm not this or that, you know? And we are all living proof that there's a way to do it, you know? And there's a philosophy to follow. And people are looking for help out there. And that, you know, you're willing to bring your wisdom to this table, you know? I'm just grateful.

• 1:09:43Speaker 03

  Well, thank you for having us.

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  Thank you for having us.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  It's been a great time. Y'all are good people.

• 1:09:48Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah, agreed.

• 1:09:49Craig Robinson?

  But the question is, can we be good entertainers in this podcast space?

• 1:09:54Speaker 00

  I think you dads are doing an amazing job.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:09:57Michelle Obama?

  Oh, he's just looking for a compliment.

• 1:09:59Craig Robinson?

  I paid him early.

• 1:10:06Craig Robinson?

  No, appreciate you guys being here. It's great to meet you.

• 1:10:09Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:10:09Michelle Obama?

  Yeah, yeah, good stuff.

• 1:10:11Craig Robinson?

  Good stuff.

• 1:10:32Speaker 07

  Hi, I'm Molly Graham, host of Work Life, a podcast from TED. The most important lessons about work usually aren't the ones anyone teaches you. They come from experience, from uncertainty, from figuring things out as you go. On this show, my expert guests and I explore how careers really unfold through change, through doubt, through the decisions that shape who we become over time. Because those moments aren't the exception. They are the work. Listen to Work Life wherever you get your podcasts.