Ep 255: Can You Tell Me How to Get… to the Bar?

It’s a Halloween special with Sal Vulcano and Gary Vider joining Mark and Sam, dressed up as your favorite Sesame Street crew—Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, and Elmo. It’s candy, chaos, and comedy as the guys debate kids’ TV, Blippi’s wild past, and overpriced Italian dinners. Plus, Iceland adventures, Joe Pesci stories, and the world’s worst toy memories. Sponsored by: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month Shopify trial https://www.shopify.com/DRUNK Get 50% off your first Factor box + free breakfast for a year with code DRUNK50OFF https://www.factormeals.com/drunk50off Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: Matthew Peters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #SalVulcano #GaryVider #HalloweenEpisode #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #SesameStreet #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Mark Normand?

  Hey, hey, folks, here we are. We might be drunk. Happy Halloween!

• 0:10Sam Morril?

  It's a big one, folks.

• 0:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:13Sam Morril?

  Take these off, because this is a lot.

• 0:14Speaker 02

  Did somebody say "big"?

• 0:18Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 0:19Mark Normand?

  On the bird. Hell, yeah.

• 0:20Sam Morril?

  Gary Vaynerchuk and Sal Volcano joining us.

• 0:23Mark Normand?

  Feels good.

• 0:23Sam Morril?

  And we even, we have some pre-made Manhattans here in syringes by Matt Peters for Halloween.

• 0:29Mark Normand?

  Bloody Manhattan.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  I like it. I wasn't gonna drink, but I will.

• 0:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah!

• 0:33Sam Morril?

  So, do we just take it like this, like...

• 0:36Speaker 02

  Are you going in immediately?

• 0:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah. He's a drunk.

• 0:39Sam Morril?

  Not bad. Pretty good.

• 0:42Mark Normand?

  Alright, happy Halloween.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  That gets locked into the costume.

• 0:50Mark Normand?

  One fart.

• 0:54Sam Morril?

  It worked.

• 0:55Mark Normand?

  Hey, look at this piece of shit.

• 0:58Mark Normand?

  Get in the frame.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah.

• 1:02Mark Normand?

  You're gar- oh!

• 1:03Speaker 02

  Oh, there you go.

• 1:05Mark Normand?

  Are you garbage?

• 1:06Sam Morril?

  It's good with all this candy. I can use this for Ozempic after the fucking...

• 1:10Speaker 02

  What's that little worm's name on his... Oh, is it Worm? Yeah, that little guy. The guy that always kind of squeaks out. What's his name?

• 1:16Mark Normand?

  I don't know.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  Is it Rosco?

• 1:18Mark Normand?

  Rosco? I don't remember the worm. I don't think there was...

• 1:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, the worm would come out and talk to him.

• 1:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, right.

• 1:23Sam Morril?

  I don't remember that.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  He has, the worm has a name.

• 1:25Mark Normand?

  Slimy, he says.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Slimy.

• 1:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's Children of Sesame Street.

• 1:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, loved it.

• 1:30Sam Morril?

  I was too.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31Mark Normand?

  That and Mr. Rogers. Sure I was. Mr. Rogers, oh, yeah.

• 1:33Sam Morril?

  That guy. Fuck. He could have had any kid he wanted with that charm.

• 1:37Mark Normand?

  He didn't do it, though. He didn't. I watched the whole documentary, like, here it comes.

• 1:42Mark Normand?

  Take the sweater off, he's getting ready.

• 1:44Sam Morril?

  But he was a good man.

• 1:45Mark Normand?

  He was.

• 1:46Sam Morril?

  Swam laps.

• 1:47Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  The doc or the Tom Hanks vehicle?

• 1:50Mark Normand?

  The doc.

• 1:50Sam Morril?

  Didn't see the Tom Hanks. Was that good?

• 1:51Speaker 02

  I didn't see it.

• 1:52Mark Normand?

  It was pretty good.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  But I, nonetheless, I feel like I should have. I respect the man.

• 1:55Mark Normand?

  You guys are heroes. Fred Rogers. All those kids hated him, ironically.

• 1:58Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they were like, he was never home. He fucked with all the other kids, not us.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. His kids hated him. That's in the doc?

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 2:07Mark Normand?

  Like, he didn't read to us. I'll tell you that.

• 2:11Sam Morril?

  We're, when it goes the other way, apparently John Wayne Gacy, great husband.

• 2:14Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 2:15Sam Morril?

  Always scheduled date night, better than you, Gary. I mean, it's crazy.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Kids, kids, kids love him. Always clowning around.

• 2:21Mark Normand?

  He never kills.

• 2:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's good. You're very good.

• 2:26Sam Morril?

  Right before Gary came on, he said, he said, "I could never be on camera with you without you making me dress up like something."

• 2:32Speaker 03

  I know. It's this or the gimp and the...

• 2:35Mark Normand?

  Ah, the gimp.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  I'm sure I'll wear this again.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  I picture Mr. Rogers coming home and then coming in the house, taking off his car.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  And be like, "It's a beaut-" and it was, "Just fucking save it, Dad." Alright, that doesn't work here, okay?

• 2:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  This is not the la- we're not making believe here, okay?

• 2:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, how about a-

• 2:50Speaker 02

  This is real life, Dad.

• 2:51Mark Normand?

  Right. Oh, look at this. It's Gary's first abortion. There you go.

• 2:59Sam Morril?

  I was looking at the screen.

• 3:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, no.

• 3:01Sam Morril?

  I was like, "What?"

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Your first abortion was Elvis and Richard Nixon?

• 3:06Mark Normand?

  Give me one of these.

• 3:07Sam Morril?

  They're good, man. You gotta take one of those. That's right, take it down.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  So, the Bert and Ernie heads are off now?

• 3:18Speaker 03

  Now it's just-

• 3:18Mark Normand?

  I couldn't drink through it.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Alright, alright, alright.

• 3:20Mark Normand?

  But then you got a hole, at least.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got the hole.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  You gotta be hot.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  But, yeah, no, no, no.

• 3:24Mark Normand?

  This guy likes a cold.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  This guy can go skiing in this thing, make no mistake. This is insulated, I gotta be honest.

• 3:30Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Well, I'm gonna commit to it.

• 3:32Mark Normand?

  I appreciate it.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  We'll see what happens.

• 3:33Sam Morril?

  We could've had a Cookie Monster in here.

• 3:35Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 3:35Sam Morril?

  That was a fu- he was a fucking stud on that show.

• 3:38Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, DeRosa'd be great, cause he's already addicted, anyway, to other things.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  He's still going. They're all still going. This is- they still make new episodes.

• 3:46Mark Normand?

  Are they?

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, of course.

• 3:48Mark Normand?

  Whaaat?

• 3:49Sam Morril?

  You want me to say it to what?

• 3:50Speaker 02

  Sesame Street.

• 3:51Sam Morril?

  Are they really?

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, 100%. Full production, never stopped.

• 3:54Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 3:55Mark Normand?

  You sure about that?

• 3:56Speaker 02

  I'm sure, I watch it.

• 3:58Sam Morril?

  What would a big kid's show is for you? Rugrats was a fucking-

• 4:00Mark Normand?

  Rugrats is big.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  But kids don't watch it. They watch, it's all YouTube.

• 4:04Mark Normand?

  Bluey.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  They watch, they watch, I mean, We Might Be Drunk.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  You should do a kids' episode.

• 4:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, God.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Just G-material, juice boxes.

• 4:15Mark Normand?

  That's gonna be challenging.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  It's like the one crossover app for the, for the kids.

• 4:18Mark Normand?

  I'd be down for that.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Like Wu-Tang. It's for the children. For the children. Hey, you start with a fart, you can still do it.

• 4:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Still do a lot of your best work.

• 4:25Mark Normand?

  That's true. Talk me into it. Kids do like the farts. Well, what about Cocohellen? I hear that's bad news for kids. Why?

• 4:33Speaker 02

  I think that's like, brainwashing them.

• 4:35Mark Normand?

  It rots their brains, it's so fast and, and lowbrow.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  There's way worse stuff, though. They have unboxing videos, too, but Cocohellen is, I mean, I guess it's bad. It's all bad. None of it's actually a, a full-on like, show.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Cookie Monster's an addict, though, right?

• 4:49Mark Normand?

  That's why I put them on Duroson.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:52Mark Normand?

  But, you know, it's funny, if you watch these, uh, shows on YouTube, just pull up some of the numbers. Cocohellen, Unboxing, or whatever, Dora.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Billions.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Huge.

• 5:00Mark Normand?

  Billions, and that's, every view is one parent going, "I can't fucking take this anymore!" "Watch the Cocohellen, you dirty..."

• 5:07Speaker 02

  It's probably the fastest way to becoming, uh, wealthy.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Let's see.

• 5:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Children's... Oh, absolutely.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Because it doesn't matter about the replays. It's like, they use it as a parenting, as parenting help.

• 5:17Mark Normand?

  Completely.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  They also rip off Cocohellen other, other places. You've seen that?

• 5:20Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  So...

• 5:21Speaker 02

  And kids, once they like their favorite thing, they wanna watch it 800 times.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 5:24Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  So, that's it. The Google AdSense money is just raining in.

• 5:28Mark Normand?

  Forty-eight million.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  From five months ago.

• 5:30Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 5:32Speaker 02

  More than the Brady Roast.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:33Mark Normand?

  It's like Gillis's special.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:35Mark Normand?

  Which I think is similar, by the way. I think it's in the 30 millions. I think...

• 5:40Speaker 02

  I think once you hit that level, it's just gonna not, never not be fed.

• 5:44Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  It's an avalanche.

• 5:45Mark Normand?

  You're in the algo.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a good point.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  The guy...

• 5:49Mark Normand?

  If it goes viral, it's gonna go viral. Forty-seven!

• 5:51Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 5:51Mark Normand?

  It was close.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  What, off of Cocohellen?

• 5:53Speaker 03

  Four years ago.

• 5:54Mark Normand?

  Four years ago?

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. Nobody said Gillis was Cocohellen.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Cocohellen's doing better than Shane.

• 6:03Mark Normand?

  That's new stuff.

• 6:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, my!

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Holy crap!

• 6:08Mark Normand?

  How old?

• 6:08Speaker 02

  That's, that's right when they moved to Austin.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is the Rogan push.

• 6:17Mark Normand?

  Wow! Damn. Six-hundred-eleven mil, that's like, the Holocaust.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:22Mark Normand?

  No, wait.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Six-hundred...

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Cocoh...

• 6:25Mark Normand?

  That's way more, way more.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Nobody said Cocohellen... The Holocaust was as good as Cocohellen.

• 6:30Mark Normand?

  Neither are real.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:32Sam Morril?

  Alright. I'm taking another syringe here, buddy.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Should I join?

• 6:36Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. So, as far as Kids TV goes though, Blippi is another big one, and he used to be a comic. You know about this, Blippi? But he defecated.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  He shit on his friend.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, he shit on his friend.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  Wait, we all shit on our friends.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  No, you mean, literally? Literally, you gotta see the video, I've seen it.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  What?

• 6:53Speaker 02

  It's a must-see. It's available.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  This guy, well, this is, this is the guy that took over for him.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  He pooped on? No, no, that's the guy that shit.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  That's the guy that shit?

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the guy that shit.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  I guess Ari's got a future in TV.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  It was during that, like, Harlem Shuffle era.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  And he did it to that music, and it was like, it wasn't like a video that you had to unearth.

• 7:11Sam Morril?

  Was it a skank?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  He did it for views.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  What?

• 7:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, and, but the thing is, the way he shits on his friend is unreal. The guy's laying on the floor, waiting to accept it, as you do, if you're a good friend.

• 7:22Sam Morril?

  Once you make that agreement with the devil.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  He shit, and it shoots out of him like a, like an explosion, like, almost like a paintball, like, it splatters.

• 7:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  But it's real shit, and it splatters in a way that, like, you couldn't have done it, it looks like it's CGI, it's not. His friend accepts it, and then they just, like, sit there and, like, dance a little.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Is this it?

• 7:42Speaker 02

  That's it, yeah. No, that's, no, that's not it, that's, that looks like what it is.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Pull up Blippi shitting.

• 7:47Sam Morril?

  Gary, we are gonna have to up the ante on morning TV at some point.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  I know, I'll do it. I just wear a toilet, Sam shit, Sam shits on me.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Ally's like, "Come on, Gary, you're embarrassing the family."

• 7:59Speaker 02

  It's moving tickets.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  We did one in Alabama, by the way.

• 8:02Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  And the lady's like, "And, wait, you're telling me that you have a wife and kids at home?" after I, like, I dressed us again. I was like, "Sam, I mean, I guess."

• 8:10Sam Morril?

  That was the one.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  She has a point.

• 8:11Sam Morril?

  We were in, we were in, like, the sticks in Alabama, and I was like, "Dude, this'll be hilarious, Gary's gonna put a gimp mask on mid-video." And, um, and we walk in, and everyone in there is like, a real man's man, the flannel, and I'm like, "This could get messy, dude."

• 8:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:25Sam Morril?

  "This could get bad," and we did it, and we couldn't, I couldn't keep a straight face, 'cause Gary just went all in.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Ah, what's the town? They were pissed.

• 8:32Sam Morril?

  We were like thirty minutes outside of Birmingham, but it was, but it was...

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right, we were outside Birmingham.

• 8:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  We had shows in Birmingham.

• 8:38Sam Morril?

  And they were not...

• 8:39Speaker 02

  This is it, yeah.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  By the way, this guy, I think he's worth a hundred million dollars.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  He's worth a hundred million?

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  This guy?

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Cause he sold it.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  After this, he created a children's show and sold it for a hundred million.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Damn. So he sold the show after this? Yep. That's impressive.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  And people know about this, and he's fine, no, no big deal. I mean, he wasn't trying to hide it, I think it was just... That's not a normal shit.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  That's amazing.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  That's full on diarrhea.

• 9:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  He shit in his ass? That's crazy.

• 9:12Sam Morril?

  Oh, God. What do we do? Why are we live?

• 9:16Speaker 02

  My daughter requests this man every morning. Happy Halloween.

• 9:20Sam Morril?

  Weirdly, she requests this video, which is...

• 9:24Mark Normand?

  God, alright, we got it, we got it.

• 9:26Sam Morril?

  We don't need the replay. This is like when they do the replays on sports and someone has a compound fracture. You're like, "We got it, we got it."

• 9:33Mark Normand?

  There goes the candy I was craving. More chocolate.

• 9:36Sam Morril?

  Nah, I still want the candy. God, all the candy.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Anyone can overcome anything, really.

• 9:41Mark Normand?

  I guess so, yeah. How did we get here? We started out as a kid's show, "Hey, Blippi", and then you gotta pull that shit up.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  Things get crazy.

• 9:48Sam Morril?

  This is the time of year, you start seeing the candy early in the year, like, I don't know, like, early September at Walgreens, and you're like, "It's coming."

• 9:54Mark Normand?

  It's coming, baby.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  Pounds of bags.

• 9:56Mark Normand?

  I already bought the pumpkins, I got them on my porch. I got the candy at home, I'm pa- I got a new baby, so I'm trick or treating.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Are you, are you gonna go out?

• 10:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. My neighborhood's very residential in Brooklyn and...

• 10:08Speaker 02

  You're gonna leave a bowl?

• 10:10Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  You gotta do everything.

• 10:11Mark Normand?

  I'll be doing everything.

• 10:12Sam Morril?

  Who are you dressing the kids as this year?

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Sully's going as a ninja, Tyson's going as a vampire, and then the baby... By the way, I have three kids, it's not good. And, uh...

• 10:22Sam Morril?

  You should've made one of them a border fetus. Get them road gigs.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  And then, uh, Lottie, she's going as Sally from, uh, Nightmare Before Christmas.

• 10:30Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 10:31Sam Morril?

  Wow, that's a nice pull.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  I'm gonna be Jack Skell- uh, Jack Skellington.

• 10:34Sam Morril?

  I love it.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:35Mark Normand?

  You are?

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice. Alright.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Sally's gonna be Sally.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  What about you?

• 10:40Mark Normand?

  I got, well, the kid's little with the three hairs, so I went with Charlie Brown.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Oh, nice, yeah, that's good.

• 10:46Mark Normand?

  Pretty traditional, easy.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  You're obviously pigpen.

• 10:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm pigpen.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  In that question.

• 10:52Mark Normand?

  My wife's Lucy.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  You got the natural, you know, the natural haz around.

• 10:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  You have two kids, right? Yeah, I got a, I'm going as a, right now, unless she shifts, because she's been talking witch, but she, she came out of the gate with Kevin McCallister, and then me and my wife are gonna be Marvin Harry.

• 11:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice, that's great.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  And we don't know what, you know, to do with the, with the remaining child.

• 11:15Mark Normand?

  Like a buzz.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Leave him home alone.

• 11:17Mark Normand?

  Buzz's girlfriend, wolf. Hey, wolf. Uh, he could be the tarantula. He could be Pesci as the cop.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  Oh, a double Pesci.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  A double.

• 11:27Sam Morril?

  Double Pesci, interesting.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's because he gets, then he do a gold tooth.

• 11:31Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 11:32Sam Morril?

  Pesci was on a fucking run. Oh my god. You got Home Alone, Goodfellas, and My Cousin Vinny, like back, yeah, Casino.

• 11:38Mark Normand?

  I think Casino and Home Alone are the same year.

• 11:40Sam Morril?

  Crazy.

• 11:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 11:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 11:42Mark Normand?

  Talk about range.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  My cousin Vinny is, I mean, he's on.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Top, top, all time, all time.

• 11:47Mark Normand?

  Top comedies.

• 11:47Sam Morril?

  And Marisa Tomei.

• 11:48Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  And especially in that, especially in that movie, and that movie is unreal.

• 11:55Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  I saw a video recently of someone like ran into Joe Pesci at like a restaurant, and they put it online like on, and he's nearly unrecognizable.

• 12:04Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 12:05Sam Morril?

  Getting old, dude.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  It was kind of wild. They were like, people like, this is Joe Pesci, and people like, that's not Joe Pesci.

• 12:10Mark Normand?

  Oh no.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  It was him.

• 12:12Sam Morril?

  Why, because he's thin?

• 12:13Speaker 02

  No, it just, it just looked, that's, no, that's.

• 12:15Sam Morril?

  That's a weird goatee.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  That's definitely not recent. I'm telling you, this guy, this.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  It's even, yeah, that even that's not.

• 12:19Sam Morril?

  That goatee makes him look like he's like a cousin of Danny Trejo or something.

• 12:22Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  It was like, I think he sang or something, and he stood up in his chair and sang at a restaurant. Even that looks like him. This was like, I just was like, oh my god, I can't believe that.

• 12:31Mark Normand?

  Well, that's the thing is now, he never wanted to be an actor. He wanted to be a singer.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:35Mark Normand?

  And acting just took off. He was in like a Jersey Quartet.

• 12:39Sam Morril?

  Kind of like us, man. We wanted to be gay porn stars, but comedy just fucking clicked.

• 12:42Mark Normand?

  I know. Well, Blippi took my move.

• 12:45Sam Morril?

  Hit pooping on your friend like that, like that, first off, thank god that guy nailed that take.

• 12:50Mark Normand?

  Right. Yeah.

• 12:51Sam Morril?

  Because you can't even be like, what the fuck?

• 12:53Speaker 02

  No, they did three, there's a third take, they did that three times. Yeah, no.

• 12:58Sam Morril?

  A little behind the scenes, the Criterion Edition of, uh, here it is with the director's commentary, ooh, I did not like when you shit all over me right there, but you know what? I stayed in the pocket.

• 13:07Mark Normand?

  Uh huh.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  What's in it for the friend?

• 13:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Sam Morril?

  That's how badly people want to be famous.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:13Sam Morril?

  Like that guy, his high point is someone being like, you're the guy from the shit video.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:18Sam Morril?

  No chick is gonna meet you.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  I think this is like early 2000s though, right? So even then, you're like, you didn't know if it was gonna blow up.

• 13:25Sam Morril?

  How's his voice?

• 13:26Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Wait, that doesn't sound good.

• 13:35Sam Morril?

  No, acting was the right call.

• 13:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  I don't even believe that's him.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  That sounds way more of like a Frankie Valli vibe. I wonder if that's his natural voice now.

• 13:43Sam Morril?

  Well, he did Jersey Boys, right? He produced that.

• 13:45Mark Normand?

  Did he? Oh, I didn't know that.

• 13:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah, the Broadway show.

• 13:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. Yeah, he can't sing.

• 13:51Sam Morril?

  Great actor, though.

• 13:52Mark Normand?

  Funny how, yeah.

• 13:56Mark Normand?

  You talk about the views. Have you heard the new trend? People are having kids just for the views. I swear to God.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  How does that get your views up?

• 14:04Mark Normand?

  Well, because you go, hey, I'm pregnant.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I got three.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Please, tell me.

• 14:10Mark Normand?

  You have to do them properly. You gotta do the whole pregnancy run, then the birth, then the hospital, then the naming, and the gender reveal.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  And so people are following like a real-life family story, is that what it is?

• 14:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and it's just for the views. And then they go, what should we name him? And people vote in.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 14:26Mark Normand?

  It's a whole new thing.

• 14:27Sam Morril?

  God, people are fi- we're doomed.

• 14:29Mark Normand?

  We're fucked.

• 14:29Sam Morril?

  We're doomed as a species.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I wouldn't even show my kid, you show yours.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  I know, I was thinking about not doing it anymore.

• 14:36Mark Normand?

  Wow, the cat's out of the bag, baby. Your kid's all over my wall.

• 14:41Sam Morril?

  If you do this with the kid, I see some people put the baby emoji face over the baby pic, because they're like, I don't want people to see my baby. Do you do that, or no?

• 14:47Mark Normand?

  I put my dates over his face. It's been working, but I usually show the back of him.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  I thought about it, but I haven't done it.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  I show him fully nude.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  Put the thingy over his p- yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  No, it does worry you, you know, you're like, all right, you're posting this, but what could it be really used for? Just, I guess, somebody just being like, oh, that's your kid, and...

• 15:09Sam Morril?

  And then they kidnap him and take him away. You're like, oh, thank you.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Who are the people following it?

• 15:15Speaker 03

  I know.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Like, there's better content out there.

• 15:17Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Is there?

• 15:19Sam Morril?

  I mean dude, we just saw a guy get pooped on. Clearly, there's some good stuff out there.

• 15:23Mark Normand?

  People are scary, man. I had a, I got robbed, and I was like, how the fuck will people know my address? And I got all these DMs where people were like, I Googled it for six seconds and I found your address. So it's out there, Jerry.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Your home?

• 15:35Mark Normand?

  My old house, yeah.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Oh, not, not in your house?

• 15:38Mark Normand?

  Not my new one, but I mean, if they could do it then, they could probably do it now.

• 15:40Sam Morril?

  There's ways to scrap it, but yeah, I remember I had a thing. I use this app, Community, to get people, like, you can text me, whatever, in the...

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I used that for a minute. So they started charging you.

• 15:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's stupid. But, but then, people, someone just called my actual phone number. It's a different phone number than my actual number. And I was like, hello? And some guy's like, yeah, I just found this online. I was like, alright. I was like, god damn it.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  But wait, you think they robbed you, or your home got robbed?

• 16:04Mark Normand?

  My home got robbed, but I was bitching about it. I go, how the, who the hell got in my house? I mean, my address is not out there.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Oh, I see what you're saying.

• 16:11Mark Normand?

  And then people said, yes, it is.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, so, got you. So, but you don't think you were robbed by someone who knew it was your house? Oh, okay, okay.

• 16:17Mark Normand?

  Although, I had a, it was a couple theories, because I would post like, hey, I'm, I'm out tonight doing this many shows. So somebody was like, I bet a guy saw that, then he realized he could break in, but I don't believe it.

• 16:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but that's you every night.

• 16:29Mark Normand?

  Exactly, exactly. You got, you got all my cash, that son of a bitch.

• 16:33Sam Morril?

  That was back when we had, like, a lot of, but you gotta, you gotta at some point, deposit that, you know?

• 16:38Mark Normand?

  I know, but I had a...

• 16:39Sam Morril?

  You can't live like a drug dealer.

• 16:40Mark Normand?

  I had a cool drawer, though. I had a drawer full of cash, a slingshot, some shrooms, nudey photos. I was 16 years old? Yeah!

• 16:48Speaker 03

  That's why I keep all my money on me at all times.

• 16:53Mark Normand?

  How about the dummy wallet guy? The guy with the dummy wallet, he's got like a dummy wallet, a dummy phone, a dummy cigarette, the dummy...

• 17:00Sam Morril?

  Here's my wallet. You open it, it lights on fire. The guy's like, oh, fuck!

• 17:05Speaker 02

  We, I came home one time off the bus from school, and there were cops at my house, and the door was knocked down, and it was broken into. I lived at home with my family at the time, and, uh, my dad suspected it was our neighbor.

• 17:16Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 17:17Speaker 02

  They got into a little, little, uh, disagreement about something, and then, he said the guy was a spiteful guy, and he thinks he, he knew we weren't home. They came in, and my room was ransacked.

• 17:26Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 17:27Speaker 02

  So it was like, everything was on the floor. They didn't take anything but cash, and the cash out of my drawer.

• 17:31Mark Normand?

  How old were you?

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Um, probably like, I would, my guess, 15?

• 17:34Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's very violating.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  It felt really weird, and after that, we got a rottweiler.

• 17:39Mark Normand?

  Whoa! Old school.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:41Mark Normand?

  Damn. Well, that's pre-ring camera. The ring camera changed the whole country.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, changed the game.

• 17:47Mark Normand?

  I mean, that'll be the first, that'll be the next TV show. It's like Tubi and Paramount.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  Oh, just watching somebody break in.

• 17:53Sam Morril?

  That was like, speaking of horror, the movie Weapons is like the, the ring cam, the whole thing.

• 17:58Mark Normand?

  It's all ring cam.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  Uh, my catalytic converter was stolen a couple of days ago on my block and my car caught the thieves.

• 18:04Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  No way. From your own car, though?

• 18:07Speaker 04

  That's my own car.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  So your car recorded it?

• 18:09Speaker 04

  They just taped the camera.

• 18:11Mark Normand?

  I think that guy's an ice.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  And only if you...

• 18:15Speaker 02

  If you would've only cleaned your windshield, you could identify him.

• 18:17Sam Morril?

  His friend lays in the car.

• 18:20Mark Normand?

  You can't use the squirter thing?

• 18:22Speaker 02

  You got a camera, but you got a one-inch coating of dirt on that thing.

• 18:27Sam Morril?

  Dude, his friend lays in the car, the other guy just shits all over him. Oh my god, Jesus, to hell.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Holy ca... Oh, so they didn't seal it because they saw?

• 18:36Speaker 04

  No, no, that's them getting away with it. The camera only...

• 18:39Speaker 02

  And you can't even get the license plate?

• 18:41Speaker 04

  The car shakes like this, the camera turns...

• 18:42Speaker 02

  So they had already cut out the catalytic converter?

• 18:45Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. That's them getting away.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  What, how much you get for that, anyway?

• 18:48Speaker 04

  I don't know what they... It cost me $300 for a new one, and then $300 to install it. So 600 bucks.

• 18:53Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 18:55Mark Normand?

  And that didn't help with the police at all?

• 18:57Speaker 04

  They didn't give a shit. They thought I did it.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  They got my sisters, too.

• 19:00Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, catalytic converters are a big thing.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  Wait, are they, is it catalytic or Ca-Cadillac?

• 19:06Mark Normand?

  Catalytic.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Okay, so...

• 19:08Mark Normand?

  Stops the, uh, smog. Like, you go to some countries, they don't require a catalytic converter, there's smog everywhere.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:14Mark Normand?

  But...

• 19:14Speaker 02

  But I think this, I think this is long, long, like, I don't think older cars only have catalytic converters, no?

• 19:19Speaker 04

  I don't know, I have a 2005.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think they stopped it right around there.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, because her car's a 2003, so...

• 19:25Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 19:26Speaker 04

  That's why I always keep my catalytic converter on me.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Hi, Elmo.

• 19:39Sam Morril?

  I do want to tickle him.

• 19:40Mark Normand?

  I know. Remember how big that was?

• 19:43Sam Morril?

  That was the biggest thing. Dude, some of these, some of these toy trends, remember the Tamagotchi?

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:49Sam Morril?

  That was like, I'm trying to keep this alive.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  Little, little, little computer thing on your keychain, you had to feed it, change it, just keep it alive.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  The Japanese?

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Keep it alive.

• 19:57Mark Normand?

  Sounds like a nuisance.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I think so.

• 19:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it was a full-on baby.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, weird.

• 20:02Sam Morril?

  I got the Chinese one that said if it was a girl, you don't keep it, so it's weird.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Those were the ones that caused brawls on like, uh, Black Friday and stuff. Like that Tickle Me Elmo was.

• 20:13Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Tickle Me Elmo was big.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  Couldn't get it. Cabbage Patch Kids when I was little.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  Remember that? I mean, I'm a little older than you guys, but I think that was the one that was like, people were going nuts.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was Cabbage Patch Kids. I had a My Buddy doll. That was my.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Kid Sister?

• 20:28Speaker 03

  What? There was Kid Sister. Yeah, there was Kid Sister as well. Yeah, I just had My Buddy.

• 20:32Mark Normand?

  My Buddy became the cops go-to of where'd they touch you? Cause it looks like a kid. So cops would have one.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  That's the motivation with Chucky.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:41Mark Normand?

  Whoa, this thing did a lot of pull, like a lot of stuff.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  My dad used to just bring him, like, just have him, like, stick his head out with a knife. Just to scare me.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  You remember the, uh, the jingle?

• 20:53Mark Normand?

  Nah.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  My Buddy and me. Yeah. Kid Sister.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, my buddy.

• 20:59Mark Normand?

  I like how they just made him Irish. This kid's evil.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  It just looks like, yeah, they give him the hair of a school shooter. Actually, both of them.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  I mean, it literally is the doll. It's like the same face.

• 21:11Sam Morril?

  Both of those kids are gonna be like gamers.

• 21:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:14Sam Morril?

  Both like gonna play Call of Duty too much. They're gonna be online.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Okay, you remember, uh, like a Teddy Ruxpin?

• 21:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  It was another version of that. It was a dog, like a hound. I forget what the name that it was. It would work with a cassette tape in it, right?

• 21:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  And then, uh, my sister had it and then one time it started to, I swear to God, it started talking. No cassette tape in there. No cassette tape.

• 21:35Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  To this day, we talk about it.

• 21:36Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 21:38Speaker 02

  And then it said a line that we had never heard before. Like, it wasn't in the repertoire.

• 21:42Sam Morril?

  The Jews will not replace us?

• 21:44Speaker 02

  And then we were like, what the hell? And we like looked and there was no tape in there.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 21:48Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess maybe there was, I'm assuming there was.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  How old were you?

• 21:53Speaker 02

  Um.

• 21:54Mark Normand?

  Thirty-eight.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Age matters in this.

• 21:57Sam Morril?

  Remember Russman Eve used to have that bit where he goes, I, I used to put weak batteries in my sister's Teddy Ruxpin doll so it would die right in front of her?

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  No, I never heard that.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  That's funny.

• 22:06Sam Morril?

  It's a good bit.

• 22:07Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna try that with my old vibrator.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Oh, the tables have turned.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  I'll shake a little.

• 22:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm the acoustic. That's the Etelle bit.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  It's the Norman unplugged.

• 22:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Remember that Etelle bit? He goes, uh, what do you use, uh, what kind of vibrator you use, ma'am? She goes, fingers. He goes, mm, acoustic.

• 22:30Sam Morril?

  He's so good.

• 22:31Mark Normand?

  So good.

• 22:32Sam Morril?

  Etelle. We gotta get him back. He's a guy who would have been a great poppin' for this.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  What would he, what would he have dressed as today?

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Himself.

• 22:38Mark Normand?

  Etelle. He'd be a good Oscar the Grav.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  You could sell his costume.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  He would have been Oscar the Grav.

• 22:43Mark Normand?

  He could be the Count.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  You could be Etelle for Halloween. You just get the jacket.

• 22:47Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  Oh, by the way, we went to Sesame Place over the summer. Biggest letdown.

• 22:52Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 22:52Mark Normand?

  Sesame Place.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Langhorne, Langhorne?

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, Langhorne. There is nothing there.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  It's been there since you were kids.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's terrible. The, the rides are awful.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Do they still have the lazy river?

• 23:04Speaker 03

  They do. They have it. But the water parks all spread out.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  So you could go, but it's not even worth your time.

• 23:09Mark Normand?

  Really? So you made the drive and it sucked?

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Oh, it's terrible.

• 23:12Sam Morril?

  Any highlights? Anything good?

• 23:14Speaker 03

  No, food was terrible too.

• 23:15Mark Normand?

  What's the pedophile?

• 23:17Sam Morril?

  You're five stars for me, standard.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  That's surprising.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  I send it back.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  People do go for the food. I heard, I heard Legoland is, is awesome.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  I heard it's great.

• 23:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  But Sesame Place sucks.

• 23:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, what's the pedo factor here? Like, how does this work? How do they know?

• 23:34Speaker 02

  I think they need a recharge. I haven't seen a commercial. I know, who knows that even exists?

• 23:37Mark Normand?

  I didn't know it existed.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  And that's got a big brand behind it.

• 23:40Mark Normand?

  Big brand.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  They could, they could probably do something.

• 23:42Sam Morril?

  Oh, it looks like they have a water park thing there too.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  They do. I mean, yeah, they're showing you a good picture.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  I've been on that thing.

• 23:49Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I swear.

• 23:50Mark Normand?

  And you get a hotel and everything?

• 23:52Speaker 03

  No, we just drove in and came back, yeah. Two hour drive.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  One of those things that fills up. It's like a bucket.

• 23:57Mark Normand?

  Uh.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  It fills up and then every like 20 minutes it just dumps like, like, like a water tower dumps on the children and like, there's a lot of crying and everything.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, there it is. There's that bucket.

• 24:08Sam Morril?

  That thing.

• 24:09Mark Normand?

  Man. Yeah, I went to the Bahamas and I stayed at a resort. It's all kids. It's horrible.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, did you see that lazy river though? I was telling you about that.

• 24:16Mark Normand?

  That was a great lazy river.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  I told you, best I've ever seen.

• 24:18Sam Morril?

  That water park's way better than this one.

• 24:20Mark Normand?

  You been?

• 24:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Bahamas.

• 24:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  No, no, no. That's not where you went. You went to Atlantis.

• 24:26Mark Normand?

  Atlantis.

• 24:26Sam Morril?

  Oh, you went to Atlantis?

• 24:27Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 24:27Sam Morril?

  Are you sure?

• 24:28Mark Normand?

  No.

• 24:28Sam Morril?

  You went to Ba-?

• 24:29Speaker 02

  No, no, you went to Atlantis.

• 24:30Mark Normand?

  I was drunk the whole time.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  You went to Atlantis.

• 24:32Mark Normand?

  But I'm such an idiot because it was my first time with a, with a baby on a vacation, so I just started drinking on the flight. And then my wife's like, what are you doing?

• 24:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 24:39Mark Normand?

  We gotta like change his diaper. And I was like, oh my god. So I was like dropping him. It was bad.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Did you go on the lazy river?

• 24:46Mark Normand?

  I did, yeah. That was a fight.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  It started with that huge, like huge tidal wave and it pushes you all around.

• 24:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was great.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  And then you don't have to get off, you don't have to get out of the tube.

• 24:54Mark Normand?

  It's great.

• 24:54Sam Morril?

  The tube goes up. You could go back around. Smoke drops the baby, takes a shit on him.

• 25:01Mark Normand?

  Ah, boy, the best, the best though. Pull this up, fatty.

• 25:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 25:06Mark Normand?

  Ah, we're good on it.

• 25:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah. It's my fault for bringing a bag.

• 25:10Mark Normand?

  Jesus Christ.

• 25:11Sam Morril?

  God damn it. Blippi shit.

• 25:14Mark Normand?

  Reykjavik.

• 25:15Sam Morril?

  How did that even start?

• 25:17Mark Normand?

  Him?

• 25:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

• 25:18Mark Normand?

  Melon.

• 25:19Sam Morril?

  Reykjavik?

• 25:20Mark Normand?

  Reykjavik.

• 25:21Sam Morril?

  Good luck with that. Reykjavik spelling, good.

• 25:23Mark Normand?

  It's sick.

• 25:24Sam Morril?

  I gotta go.

• 25:25Mark Normand?

  One of the coolest places, but they have a, uh, mountain with, with a, like a hot river. What do you call it? Lazy? No, uh, warm.

• 25:31Sam Morril?

  Warm springs?

• 25:32Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Hot spring, and there's a bar in it.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  This is Iceland?

• 25:36Mark Normand?

  Iceland.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:36Mark Normand?

  So the air is freezing cold. You look out into the ocean and there's a bar you just swim up to. There it is!

• 25:42Sam Morril?

  Nice. It looks.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  You were there?

• 25:43Mark Normand?

  I was there. I did a gig there.

• 25:45Sam Morril?

  I've seen pictures of this before.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  I see that, I immediately think piss, a lot of piss.

• 25:49Sam Morril?

  You know what? It's worth it. I feel, yeah.

• 25:51Mark Normand?

  Natural springs.

• 25:53Sam Morril?

  The water probably cleans it.

• 25:54Mark Normand?

  It's incredible.

• 25:55Sam Morril?

  You hear about all this, you go to like, like Oslo or one of these places and they just are like, talk about like natural cold plunge. You're like, yeah, it's just freezing. You jump in.

• 26:03Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 26:03Sam Morril?

  It's insane.

• 26:04Mark Normand?

  It's beautiful. They're better than us. It's clean. Look at that.

• 26:07Sam Morril?

  Everything looks so clean.

• 26:08Mark Normand?

  Look at that sun on the left.

• 26:09Sam Morril?

  How about the women over there too, huh?

• 26:10Mark Normand?

  The women are crazy.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  You seeing any of those northern lights when you were there?

• 26:13Mark Normand?

  No, missed the lights.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Have you ever seen northern lights?

• 26:16Sam Morril?

  No.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Me neither. I always wanted to.

• 26:18Mark Normand?

  I did too.

• 26:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, sounds cool.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Right?

• 26:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  The whole light, the sky is green?

• 26:22Sam Morril?

  That's what it was. It was wrestling.

• 26:24Mark Normand?

  What about it?

• 26:25Sam Morril?

  We did a wrestling episode with Soder and Gillis.

• 26:27Mark Normand?

  That's what it was.

• 26:28Sam Morril?

  And the WWE made us pull it down.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 26:30Sam Morril?

  Because we were dressed, I was like Bret Hart, you were.

• 26:33Mark Normand?

  Hulk Hogan.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  They made you pull it down?

• 26:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  But that's satire. It's costumes.

• 26:37Sam Morril?

  I don't even know.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  You didn't have to bend to that.

• 26:39Mark Normand?

  Put it back up.

• 26:40Sam Morril?

  We got it back up, but they were fucking, they were complaining about it.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Did you use audio from WWE?

• 26:45Mark Normand?

  We might have done a video.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Okay. Yeah, cuz you don't have to.

• 26:50Sam Morril?

  Shane didn't commit to it, but.

• 26:51Mark Normand?

  Shane dresses as a dad who brought the kids.

• 26:55Sam Morril?

  But so did Macho Man, you, Hogan, me, Bret the Hitman Hart.

• 26:59Mark Normand?

  Is that movie out yet? The Smashing Machine?

• 27:02Sam Morril?

  Uh, it should, it's out soon.

• 27:03Mark Normand?

  Okay, that looks like fun.

• 27:04Sam Morril?

  I wanna see it, man.

• 27:05Mark Normand?

  Safdie.

• 27:06Sam Morril?

  I like the.

• 27:06Speaker 03

  Oh, we just saw one battle after another.

• 27:08Sam Morril?

  We were talking how good it was, yes.

• 27:10Mark Normand?

  See it?

• 27:11Speaker 02

  No, I didn't see it.

• 27:12Sam Morril?

  Oh, you got it.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  I heard it's like.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  It's unbelievable.

• 27:14Mark Normand?

  Pretty damn great. Yeah.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  I heard it's like if he did a Tarantino movie.

• 27:18Mark Normand?

  That's what I said.

• 27:19Sam Morril?

  Or like Coen Brothers type, right?

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, a little everything.

• 27:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's, it's an awesome.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  It's on the list. It's on the list.

• 27:25Sam Morril?

  Big fan.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Safdie's are cool. I like the Safdie's. They're good dudes. They, they, they actually came to the, um, they came to the Imperial Jokers movie premiere.

• 27:33Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. It was really cool. They reached out and, um, Ronnie is one of the writers that helps write all those movies with them. And he's like, when we were making Uncut Gems, it was like really heavy material. And he's like, and I used to end every single day watching your show. And he reached out and told me that. And then one of the brothers too. And then they just like were really cool. And they, they were like, we wanna come to the thing.

• 27:53Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, nice guys. Really nice guys.

• 27:55Sam Morril?

  Josh is cool as fuck. I don't know Benny, but Josh, well, he's a psychotic Knicks fan like me, so he'll text about it.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  I always, I, I know the guy on the right. I think it's Josh. Now the guy on the left up there.

• 28:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's Benny on the right.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  That's Josh, yeah. Yeah, Benny I haven't met.

• 28:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Seinfeld said that Spielberg would watch the show during Schindler's List cuz he needed some levity.

• 28:17Mark Normand?

  Which is a huge compliment.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  That's kinda what he was saying. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy, right?

• 28:20Mark Normand?

  And then Seinfeld did the episode where they get caught making out in Shinra's.

• 28:23Sam Morril?

  Great episode.

• 28:24Mark Normand?

  Great ep.

• 28:25Sam Morril?

  You made out there in Shinra's, nice? It was a great idea.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  We had, we tried to get Cookie Monster on Practical Jokers like two seasons ago. We were having guests, we wanted to go outside the box. We contacted him, he wanted to come on.

• 28:38Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  And then Powers that be at Sesame Street said it wasn't the right brand match. And I didn't wanna let go of the, why are you laughing?

• 28:44Speaker 04

  No, I was just...

• 28:45Speaker 02

  I'm like, I'm like, we were doing, I thought you said, I didn't wanna let go of the idea of having a puppet on for the guests. So we, we got Alf.

• 28:52Mark Normand?

  Ah?

• 28:53Speaker 02

  It took two years to get him. Took two years. The guy wasn't doing it. And we wrote him, we talked to him, I wrote him a letter, Q wrote him a letter, and then, then he said, you know, I appreciate this letter. Cause he said no at first, then we wrote the letter. And then he's like, if you're still doing this next year, reach out. Next year, we reached out, we convinced him.

• 29:09Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  We, we had the actual, that's the very first Alf puppet.

• 29:13Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  The original one.

• 29:15Mark Normand?

  How about that?

• 29:15Speaker 02

  We spent the day shooting with him.

• 29:17Mark Normand?

  Does that count as a minority?

• 29:20Mark Normand?

  Alf is an alien.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, it was, it was pretty wild.

• 29:23Sam Morril?

  Was Alf on the cigarettes?

• 29:26Mark Normand?

  He ate cats, I know that.

• 29:27Speaker 02

  He ate cat, no, he had his own sitcom.

• 29:29Sam Morril?

  I know, but which was the one who was on the cigarettes that was like a problem?

• 29:32Mark Normand?

  You're thinking Joe Camel?

• 29:33Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 29:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, very nice.

• 29:34Sam Morril?

  I'm way off, holy shit.

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Alf and Joe Camel.

• 29:37Mark Normand?

  One's a camel, one's an alien, I mean.

• 29:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Alf, I remember Alf.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Alf had a sitcom.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was, he was, he was massive.

• 29:43Sam Morril?

  Wow, Joe Camel, that was not good, sorry.

• 29:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 29:46Sam Morril?

  He's kind of a cool camel though, man.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  He's the ultimate camel.

• 29:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Name another cool, name a cool camel.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  What got your kids to smoke?

• 29:52Sam Morril?

  Actually hung out with him in Riyadh.

• 29:56Sam Morril?

  They say his face is a dick and balls.

• 29:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:00Mark Normand?

  I've had that joke.

• 30:00Sam Morril?

  What did he say?

• 30:01Speaker 04

  Subliminal a dick.

• 30:03Sam Morril?

  But it's not subliminal at all, it's just a dick and balls.

• 30:06Mark Normand?

  You think?

• 30:07Sam Morril?

  What?

• 30:09Mark Normand?

  I see the balls.

• 30:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I see the balls.

• 30:11Sam Morril?

  See, it's a dick with foreskin.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  Looks like Ari's dick.

• 30:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:16Sam Morril?

  Pull it up.

• 30:16Mark Normand?

  Ari's dick is smoking. Uh, wait, so wait, you got Alf?

• 30:20Speaker 02

  It is funny, because it's him, it's a guy and his wife that do it.

• 30:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, weird.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  And they, and they go under the table for like eight hours, and it's not, it's not a comfortable setup either. They're on like a piece of plywood, and like sitting awkward, and he's, he's doing the voice and half of them, and she's doing half of them, and she's got like animatronic stuff she's touching. And they really grind down there.

• 30:39Mark Normand?

  See, I've pitched so many shows that the fact that Alf got made pisses me off.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:43Mark Normand?

  Because I'm like, that got through?

• 30:45Speaker 02

  It was a different time.

• 30:46Mark Normand?

  It was a different time.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  You know, wasn't there like a, another, um, show, like almost like a Married with Children with some, some puppet, maybe Bobcat Goldthwait?

• 30:54Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  Right?

• 30:55Sam Morril?

  And it was...

• 30:55Speaker 02

  I never watched it.

• 30:56Mark Normand?

  Happily Ever After.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that, right?

• 30:58Mark Normand?

  With Nicky Cox.

• 30:59Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  But like, and there was a puppet on that, wasn't there?

• 31:01Mark Normand?

  There was a puppet on that.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  I never saw it.

• 31:03Mark Normand?

  With a bunny.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, pull that up.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  I don't know what it's about, but...

• 31:07Mark Normand?

  And Nicky Cox was banging, uh, Jay Moore for a while.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 31:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 31:11Sam Morril?

  Unhappily Ever...

• 31:11Speaker 03

  This was on like, uh...

• 31:12Mark Normand?

  That's it.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  UPN9 or like...

• 31:14Mark Normand?

  I think it was WB.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Oh, WB.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  UPN9, WB, same thing.

• 31:18Mark Normand?

  Yes, that's a bad Alf Bundy. Oh, what a rip.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, look at that.

• 31:22Mark Normand?

  So they went Alf and Married with Children combo.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  What is the, what's the deal with this thing? What is...

• 31:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's a young E from Entourage.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  What?

• 31:32Sam Morril?

  Oh, shit.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Where?

• 31:35Mark Normand?

  I remember this show.

• 31:35Sam Morril?

  That's him on the, in the middle right.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  No, it's not.

• 31:38Mark Normand?

  That's E.

• 31:38Sam Morril?

  That's Kevin Connolly, dude.

• 31:40Mark Normand?

  That's Bobcat, he did the voice.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Oh, E, E, right, sure, sure. Yeah, he did the voice.

• 31:44Mark Normand?

  Pull up some Nicky Cox photos while you're on the page, just while you're...

• 31:47Speaker 03

  That Happily Ever After also looked like, uh, Home Improvement. They have that poster too.

• 31:52Mark Normand?

  Light and everything, yeah. It was all the same back then. Hi-yah, hi-yah, hi-yah.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 31:57Mark Normand?

  That was 90s. It's like a Jessica Rabbit vibe.

• 31:59Sam Morril?

  That is Jessica Rabbit.

• 32:01Mark Normand?

  Back when you didn't have to have an ass.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  Didn't I?

• 32:03Sam Morril?

  I mean...

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:05Sam Morril?

  You're looking at that and you're complaining, you got some problems.

• 32:08Mark Normand?

  Well, just, well, that's an observation.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  It was Alyssa Milano.

• 32:11Sam Morril?

  Mark finds the hottest girl at the bar, he's like, "I guess you don't have an ass." Just nags her down.

• 32:16Mark Normand?

  90s.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  One time, someone I knew knew a girl whose family was really, really wealthy and she had a house like up in the Hamptons or something. She invited all of our friends up, right? We get up there and it was like we were welcomed to a resort. They had, they had everything. We got up there, they had all this property. There was quads lined up if you want to take a quad out. They had this huge, huge pool. They were doing a lobster bake. They had, I mean, it was unbelievable. It was just unreal. Everyone had their own bedroom. And it was unbelievable. My friends floating in the pool and the girls, like a bunch of girls, and he goes, "Ah, you don't have a hot tub, huh?"

• 32:54Sam Morril?

  Gotta keep him humble, dude.

• 32:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah. My mom does that. My mom has a problem with that. Oh, yai yai. Sorry, Peter.

• 33:02Mark Normand?

  But my mom will be like, I'll be like, "I got Conan." She'll go, "No Letterman, huh?"

• 33:08Mark Normand?

  Talking to you.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  But he's not on the air anymore. But when he was.

• 33:13Sam Morril?

  You gotta move to something else. This is too hot for the podcast, Ali.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  Jay Moore used to say that she is the funnier than any comic he's ever met.

• 33:20Mark Normand?

  I don't believe it.

• 33:21Sam Morril?

  That's just what you say about a really hot chick in the bank.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Me too. I think that.

• 33:25Mark Normand?

  So there's anything about Jeannie Buss?

• 33:27Sam Morril?

  You know who's hilarious? Sharon Stone in the 90s. She was one funny gal.

• 33:32Mark Normand?

  Cindy Crawford at an hour.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Cindy Crawford, I almost died laughing at her. Yeah, I met her.

• 33:38Sam Morril?

  You know what was the funniest comic was? It's the funniest comedian, in my opinion, Kaia Gerber, daughter of Cindy Crawford. Very, very funny.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  It looks like her. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, it looks just like.

• 33:50Mark Normand?

  Cause the daughter I find is usually hotter.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Cindy Crawford was the pinnacle. I went from Melissa Milano. Look at that.

• 33:56Mark Normand?

  I love Melissa Milano.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  And then, and then I went, I graduated right to Cindy Crawford.

• 34:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, God. Pete Davidson was all over that.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Is that right? Yeah.

• 34:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, look at that, the bottom right left.

• 34:10Mark Normand?

  Also, wait.

• 34:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there you go, Pete.

• 34:12Mark Normand?

  I had another one. Shit, the daughter. Oh, Ally, Andy McDowell.

• 34:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 34:18Mark Normand?

  Her daughter is very, uh, pretty. Oh, I spilled my.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  I know our son. I know our son Charlie.

• 34:26Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 34:26Speaker 02

  I think that's Andy.

• 34:27Mark Normand?

  McDowell?

• 34:28Speaker 02

  Andy McDowell. Well, yeah, I thought Charlie McDowell was.

• 34:34Mark Normand?

  I think hotter than the mom. What do you think?

• 34:36Sam Morril?

  The mom's pretty hot.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  They look alike.

• 34:39Mark Normand?

  You like the mom?

• 34:40Speaker 02

  They look alike.

• 34:41Sam Morril?

  The mom is a beautiful woman.

• 34:43Mark Normand?

  That's true. Groundhog Day.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. She's great.

• 34:46Sam Morril?

  Classic.

• 34:48Mark Normand?

  Alright, maybe the mom's more of a natural beaut.

• 34:52Sam Morril?

  What has this podcast become? I love that this is, we gotta record one this week. The people have to hear us. Quietly mull over which mom-daughter combo is better. Literally.

• 35:04Speaker 02

  A very measured.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  The mom's a beaut.

• 35:09Sam Morril?

  A married father, a married father's like, I suppose I'd bang the mother as well.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  No ass, no ass.

• 35:16Sam Morril?

  This is what passes for entertainment now?

• 35:19Speaker 02

  What the fu- I'm judging in this outfit.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  I could see it in the 90s.

• 35:26Mark Normand?

  What about Pfeiffer?

• 35:27Sam Morril?

  We're fucking idiots.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  There's no stuffing in this podcast.

• 35:32Sam Morril?

  Brian Pfeiffer, holy shit.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  I mean, Pfeiffer, yeah. Grease 2, that was my favorite Pfeiffer.

• 35:36Sam Morril?

  She's still a hot lady.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Grease 2 Pfeiffer.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  I don't think I've seen Grease 2.

• 35:40Mark Normand?

  What? You would love it.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Really?

• 35:42Mark Normand?

  It's just campy horseshit.

• 35:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  Grease 2 Pfeiffer.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  But is it, is it, is it like, is it, is it a different set of people than Grease 1?

• 35:49Mark Normand?

  Completely different people.

• 35:50Sam Morril?

  I got a, I got a Michelle Pfeiffer for you, and Vida's gonna back me up on this one. Fabulous Baker Boys?

• 35:56Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 35:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, and the piano.

• 35:58Sam Morril?

  Oh my gosh, she's so hot and cool in that movie. So, so fun.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Was she the one in Gangster's Paradise?

• 36:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yeah, with Coolio.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:07Sam Morril?

  That was a whole, during the 90s, they had a whole run of movies where the teacher, like, remember The Substitute with Tom Barret?

• 36:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  There's three of them.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  The Principal, there's another one.

• 36:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, there was one with Hilary Swank as well. Boys Don't Cry? No, wait, that's different.

• 36:22Mark Normand?

  Call Hilary Swank a teen bopper.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  She never did it for me. No ass.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  No, but, uh, no, she, Hilary Swank.

• 36:32Mark Normand?

  Nah.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Great actress.

• 36:34Mark Normand?

  People they tell you is pretty, and you're like, alright.

• 36:35Speaker 02

  No, she's.

• 36:36Sam Morril?

  She's an attractive lady.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  She's a very beautiful, I wouldn't kick any of the people we named out of bed for eating crackers.

• 36:41Mark Normand?

  I wouldn't kick 'em out of bed. I would kick Vida out of bed.

• 36:43Sam Morril?

  That was so old fashioned to yourself.

• 36:48Mark Normand?

  He had a movie in the 90s where she was a teacher. Maybe it was the 2000s, sorry.

• 36:52Sam Morril?

  No, I know what you're talking about. It was like when that ship had sailed too.

• 36:55Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 36:56Sam Morril?

  It was like late.

• 36:57Mark Normand?

  And Burr had the great bit about it.

• 36:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, like how.

• 37:00Mark Normand?

  There it is. Freedom Riders.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Freedom Riders.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  I've never heard of that.

• 37:03Mark Normand?

  Horrible.

• 37:04Sam Morril?

  If that was your teacher, you'd be like, she's the hottest teacher. Come on.

• 37:07Mark Normand?

  I get, that's true. Whoop, she's hiling.

• 37:09Sam Morril?

  We'll get.

• 37:12Sam Morril?

  Although if you ask Elon Musk, he would say she's not, but.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  I bet. This is her blippy shit video.

• 37:18Mark Normand?

  Misogyny and Mayhem and Gangsta Rap. God, those movies are cringey.

• 37:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:24Mark Normand?

  Oof.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  There was that other one, Buster Rhymes and Michael Strappaport.

• 37:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, Higher Learning.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Oh, Higher Learning.

• 37:31Sam Morril?

  Remember High School?

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Oh wait, that was when he was a sniper, right? Wasn't he?

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, someone shot him.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  No, uh, not Buster. Was it Buster Rhymes?

• 37:38Speaker 02

  He was in it.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  Uh, Omar Epps?

• 37:40Sam Morril?

  Yes, Omar Epps.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:42Mark Normand?

  Epps had a good.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  That was a powerful movie when I saw it. I don't know if it holds up.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  John Singleton, man.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 37:47Mark Normand?

  Before Rappaport was doing face to camera stuff.

• 37:52Mark Normand?

  It was a better time.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  He's in True Romance.

• 37:56Sam Morril?

  He's got a crazy IMDB.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 37:58Mark Normand?

  He does. He does. Friends, he had a run on Friends.

• 38:01Sam Morril?

  Dude, True Romance is amazing. What was he, uh, fuck. High School High was hilarious.

• 38:06Mark Normand?

  That was really funny.

• 38:06Sam Morril?

  John Lovitz? Did they spoof those movies?

• 38:09Mark Normand?

  That was back when spoofs were around. I guess we got Naked Gun 6.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  What'd you think of it?

• 38:14Sam Morril?

  I liked it, dude.

• 38:15Mark Normand?

  I can't do it.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  I didn't see it yet.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  I, I didn't, I didn't really. I saw a little bit of it.

• 38:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude, it was the hardest. I've heard people laugh in a theater in a while.

• 38:23Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 38:24Sam Morril?

  It was a funny movie.

• 38:25Mark Normand?

  I love hearing that.

• 38:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, this was, I mean, even the fucking poster, so 90s, I love it.

• 38:30Mark Normand?

  Liz said he saw Battle of After Another in the theater and people were dying.

• 38:34Sam Morril?

  It got big laughs. We had 20 people in the theater, but it got big laughs.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  I mean, DiCaprio, I mean, he has, yeah.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't know it was funny.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  There's real parts to it that make it funny in the moment.

• 38:44Sam Morril?

  Benicio is fucking.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's funny. DiCaprio's funny and likeable, you know, I mean, it's unbelievable. I think it's a great.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  He's worth seeing in the theater?

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 38:53Sam Morril?

  You got it.

• 38:54Mark Normand?

  We saw it at 11 a.m.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  What? What?

• 38:57Mark Normand?

  Regal.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  In four D.

• 38:58Sam Morril?

  We did too, dude.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  No way.

• 38:59Sam Morril?

  Well, Vito and I show up to see the movie because we planned it all out. We're like, we're gonna see it. We're doing a show in Rochester Thursday night, 7pm. We'll see the 9:20. We show up to the theater. They're like, the sound's fucked up in the theater.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  We could play caption.

• 39:10Sam Morril?

  We could play the closed caption for you. And we're like, no, we're leaving. So, but they luckily, they changed our tickets the next day to IMAX. So, we're like, alright, sweet. Saw it 11am.

• 39:20Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 39:20Sam Morril?

  But like you, but it was, dude, it was fucking dead.

• 39:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 39:23Sam Morril?

  It was dead in there.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  That's the only time I could ever catch a movie, maybe on the road.

• 39:27Mark Normand?

  Same.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:28Mark Normand?

  But it's weird getting out of there because it's a three hour movie. So, you're like, it's four?

• 39:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 39:33Mark Normand?

  Four o'clock? How'd that happen?

• 39:34Speaker 03

  Three hour movie is long, but, uh, he brought it. I thought it was three hours.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:39Mark Normand?

  That scene on the highway at the end, I'm not gonna say anything.

• 39:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:43Mark Normand?

  We had the, the four D seats that shake. So, the seats went like.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  I've never done it. I've never done that before.

• 39:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, it was incredible.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  I, I heard it was, I heard those things are a nuisance.

• 39:52Mark Normand?

  I liked it.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Like this water spraying at you and stuff?

• 39:55Mark Normand?

  I think that's a myth.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:56Mark Normand?

  Don't go see a porno.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  But when there was gunfire, you would feel like a burst of air behind your ear, be like, pfuff, pfuff.

• 40:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but in this country, you don't know that's a real bullet.

• 40:05Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's like, yeah.

• 40:07Mark Normand?

  I saw Batman in Aurora. Terrifying. Realistic.

• 40:14Mark Normand?

  You don't hear much about the theater shootings anymore. It's all school.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Nobody's going to the theater anymore.

• 40:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they get there, they're like, it's not even worth it.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Covid killed theater shootings.

• 40:23Sam Morril?

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• 41:07Sam Morril?

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• 41:35Mark Normand?

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• 42:19Mark Normand?

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• 42:44Sam Morril?

  You want another one of these? What do you mix it with?

• 42:46Mark Normand?

  I put it with a little soda.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  I mean, you should have the original Blippi on here. Maybe that'll be it.

• 42:50Mark Normand?

  I would get huge numbers.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:52Sam Morril?

  I gotta say, this bloody Manhattan is kind of fun, dude.

• 42:54Mark Normand?

  I like it.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  All right, right.

• 42:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, big bird.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  All right, here we go. I'm like I'm feeding myself.

• 43:01Mark Normand?

  Like a hamster.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  It is like a bird.

• 43:04Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna give this to kids on Halloween.

• 43:08Mark Normand?

  Pretty good, huh?

• 43:09Speaker 02

  I tell you what, you made that? That's very tasty.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  What do you guys got for candy? Favorite candy? I'm going Sour Patch.

• 43:15Sam Morril?

  Are you a Sour Patch guy?

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, all day. I'll do that in a movie. Sour Patch and Bunch of Crunch.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 43:21Sam Morril?

  You're doing, this guy loves, he loves a crunch bar.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love crunch.

• 43:25Sam Morril?

  That's his go-to.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  I like it.

• 43:27Mark Normand?

  I like a crunch bar, it's so thin.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Bunch of Crunch.

• 43:29Sam Morril?

  It's a weird.

• 43:30Mark Normand?

  The little balls. It's a weird go-to.

• 43:31Sam Morril?

  It's good.

• 43:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  Movie theater, you're going, you're either going popcorn nachos or chocolate. I can't do candy at the movie.

• 43:37Mark Normand?

  Same, same, I got a milked up.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Especially sour.

• 43:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  I like sour.

• 43:41Sam Morril?

  These are underrated, dude.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  What the fuck is wrong with them?

• 43:43Mark Normand?

  What is that?

• 43:44Sam Morril?

  High juice?

• 43:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  God bless you.

• 43:46Sam Morril?

  These are.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  All right, let me stop, guys. I'm in a G-rated zone right now.

• 43:51Sam Morril?

  Candy corn, what, how do we feel?

• 43:54Speaker 03

  No, never.

• 43:55Mark Normand?

  You gotta have it around, but I don't like it.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  I, I, I don't mind it.

• 43:58Sam Morril?

  I like them a lot.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  I don't know why people shit on it so much.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  For coloring.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  Even the circus peanut.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  It's a back, it's a back.

• 44:02Sam Morril?

  I don't like those, but I like these.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  I'll have one.

• 44:04Mark Normand?

  Hi, Jew.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:06Sam Morril?

  It's what? What, yeah, so you're a Sour Patch guy, movie, so you do that?

• 44:11Mark Normand?

  This is trash.

• 44:11Sam Morril?

  Nachos and popcorn.

• 44:14Speaker 02

  No, I don't, I won't do popcorn. I'll do nachos or I'll do like a.

• 44:18Sam Morril?

  This is trash?

• 44:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the, the cookies and cream?

• 44:20Sam Morril?

  This is one of my favorite ones.

• 44:22Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  I think Skittles are trash, too.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  I would generally be like, I'll, I'll pass on that. Then I had it and I was like, this is not bad.

• 44:28Sam Morril?

  It's great.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:29Mark Normand?

  Number one in my book, all day.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:32Sam Morril?

  Reese's is good.

• 44:33Mark Normand?

  Classics.

• 44:33Sam Morril?

  Can I work with Reese's?

• 44:34Speaker 02

  You know what I'll do at a theater when I never get elsewhere? And I'm like, this is when I have it? Reese's Pieces.

• 44:39Mark Normand?

  I'll do the Pieces. You don't put them in the popcorn?

• 44:42Speaker 02

  No.

• 44:43Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  No, you do?

• 44:44Speaker 03

  I mean, chocolate M&M, I mean, peanut M&M.

• 44:46Sam Morril?

  Peanut M&M's are class.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  That would be, that would probably be my number one.

• 44:48Sam Morril?

  You got it, that's my go, if I'm at a hotel lobby, that's what I grab.

• 44:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:51Mark Normand?

  Better than regular M&M.

• 44:52Speaker 03

  Oh, totally.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  The regular M&M really has gotten by with, with a boost from the peanut M&M. Peanut M&M didn't exist. I don't know the fate of the regular M&M, really.

• 45:05Sam Morril?

  This is like a boardroom meeting here.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  By the way, this is how old we are. You remember the, the Blue M&M, when they came out with that?

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  There's a whole, like, you voted on it.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  It would not exist if people didn't.

• 45:15Sam Morril?

  I like that Blue M&M.

• 45:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  When I was a kid.

• 45:17Sam Morril?

  Back when this country was a democracy.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  You had, you had five colors.

• 45:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  You had yellow, you had orange.

• 45:24Mark Normand?

  Asian.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  You had, you had brown, dark and light brown. There were two browns. Light brown, dark brown, yellow, orange and green. Those were the five M and Ms. I really think, and look, do you remember the commercial with the two kids, uh, the two little league kids in the, in the dugout? He's like, uh, what, you know, he's like, he's like, you're eating M and Ms? He's like, yeah, they help my game. He's like, how so? He's like, the yellow one is a single, the ar, uh, the, the brown one's a single, yellow one's a double, orange is a triple, and with the green one, I take the ball downtown.

• 45:53Mark Normand?

  No, I don't remember that.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Oh, it's a classic.

• 45:56Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  So there are also no, are there any more like commercials like this anymore? No M and Ms?

• 46:01Speaker 02

  Can you listen to my genius idea? I think, did you ever go on YouTube and be like eighties night commercials, compilations and watch them? These things you'll never, they, you, you remember them.

• 46:10Mark Normand?

  They're in your brain.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  You'll never remember them and you see and you know every word, right? This is it?

• 46:14Mark Normand?

  Ah, this doesn't ring a bell for me. Might've been regional.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  This looks familiar.

• 46:28Mark Normand?

  No kid's ever said magnificent.

• 46:36Mark Normand?

  Like, how the kid wouldn't let him?

• 46:39Speaker 02

  He's doing a Cosell.

• 46:40Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  I didn't get that reference as a kid.

• 46:44Mark Normand?

  I just had a great idea.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:45Mark Normand?

  A podcast where we argue about what food is.

• 46:51Speaker 02

  Babe, I got three years of mortgage payments out of that one.

• 46:54Sam Morril?

  Dude, you fuck, that was probably my favorite podcast clips of any pod.

• 46:58Mark Normand?

  I may well DeRosa.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  It's very clippable.

• 47:00Sam Morril?

  You and DeRosa arguing.

• 47:02Mark Normand?

  Nuggets.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. It'll be back, it'll be back, we want to do it still.

• 47:05Sam Morril?

  It's so fun.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, it'll come back.

• 47:06Mark Normand?

  That was a great pod and a great name, too. Whoever, who came up with that name?

• 47:09Speaker 02

  We came up with it high and drinking and high in the pool in Montauk.

• 47:13Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  We went down a list of names, I think he, he might've said it. And I was like, that, it has to be Tastebud.

• 47:18Mark Normand?

  That's cool.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  We were, we almost called it food fight.

• 47:21Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 47:21Sam Morril?

  That's good, dude.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  We had that first, and then he said taste buds. I'm like, no, no, it's taste buds.

• 47:25Sam Morril?

  Taste buds is great.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Damn, that's good. That was a great fucking podcast.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Thank you, bud. I, I, what I think is, I think the companies should, like M&M's right now, should play that on the air right now as their commercial. I think it would cause such a buzz. And I think- Oh yeah, bring it back. Everyone go back to their 80's commercials, put them right on, no, no like, you know, just put it, make that the commercial. People are like, what the fuck is this? We really- That's the actual M&M's commercial right now that you're just using old ones? It would explode!

• 47:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 47:51Speaker 02

  It would explode!

• 47:52Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 47:52Sam Morril?

  And it kind of, it shows how long it's been around.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 47:55Sam Morril?

  It's kind of cool.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Anything, any commercial, anything, just show the 80's and 90's commercials for it. I swear, and now someone's gonna, someone out there will take my idea, but if I was-

• 48:04Sam Morril?

  Oh, is this, this is the clip? Is this the clip where DeRosa snaps on him?

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Oh, I got it.

• 48:08Mark Normand?

  Look how fucking serious and gay he is.

• 48:10Sam Morril?

  Wait, wait, wait, get the sound on here. This is a, oh, this is me, yeah, I know this too. I know this clip.

• 48:21Sam Morril?

  Oh, it's my favorite thing.

• 48:27Mark Normand?

  He's wearing the blue blockers.

• 48:59Mark Normand?

  Sal's laugh is great.

• 49:09Sam Morril?

  Goddamn.

• 49:10Mark Normand?

  I love Chris doing this.

• 49:11Sam Morril?

  That's crazy.

• 49:14Sam Morril?

  That was like a real wrestling moment.

• 49:18Mark Normand?

  DeRosa was built for that moment.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  He was, because that was our studio, so that was my office. So he was, we were filming days by the next. Since DeRosa was outside the door, we didn't know he was coming in. And when he came in, oh my god, that was hysterical, man.

• 49:31Mark Normand?

  Comedy club.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  So funny.

• 49:33Sam Morril?

  Iconic moment.

• 49:33Mark Normand?

  I think that single-handedly kicked Chris out of that bullshit phase he was in. Because he was reading Marcus Aurelius, like, oh, at the comedy club. And everyone was like, alright, we got him.

• 49:42Sam Morril?

  I saw him in the street in those sunglasses, and I was like, he's doing this?

• 49:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:46Sam Morril?

  I was like, alright, good to see you, buddy.

• 49:48Mark Normand?

  Now he's back, leather jacket.

• 49:50Sam Morril?

  Well, he was with Emilio, who was in similar glasses. I was like, you don't dress like the manager. What's next, a fucking little ponytail on Chrissy?

• 49:57Speaker 03

  By the way, Emilio was the one who told us to go to Emilio's Bellato.

• 50:00Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 50:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, well, you fucked up there.

• 50:04Sam Morril?

  That was a fucking disaster.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  I know. That was your birthday? I was, I couldn't make it. I was gonna come to that. I couldn't, I heard what it.

• 50:10Sam Morril?

  Well, you dodged a bullet, bro.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  I heard it, I heard it turned out, yeah. But I will say, I've been going to Bellato for a very long time, and I've always had a good experience.

• 50:17Mark Normand?

  Well, the good news is, they got review bombed like a son of a bitch. I mean, people really.

• 50:21Sam Morril?

  We should hit them again.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  What, what was it that happened? Have you talked about it on here?

• 50:26Speaker 03

  This is me knowing we were gonna get fucked.

• 50:29Mark Normand?

  Look at Gary.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  What'd you say?

• 50:31Speaker 03

  I said, that's me knowing we were gonna get fucked.

• 50:32Mark Normand?

  Shitting grin on Gary.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  So what happened was.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Wasn't that it was just an unexpectedly high bill?

• 50:36Speaker 03

  I don't even think I ever got a.

• 50:37Sam Morril?

  I looked at Ari's in a serious photo with half a beard.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. Ari looks like a hairless cat in that photo.

• 50:42Sam Morril?

  Mr. Bigglesworth.

• 50:43Speaker 03

  He's got, yeah, he's got half a beard on one side.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  So, what happened was, I, I walked in, and I was setting this whole thing up for Sam. I wanted to make it a nice birthday.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  I thought I could pay for the whole thing. I only paid for my portion. But, uh.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Oh, you were gonna, you were gonna foot the bill?

• 50:58Speaker 03

  I thought so. I thought it was gonna be like, just, it was gonna be maybe max like 500 bucks, 600 bucks.

• 51:03Mark Normand?

  We had 11 people.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Wait, you're.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  People kept getting added too, as it was going on. So we walk in.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  In what world would that many people be that?

• 51:10Mark Normand?

  I know, that's crazy.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  That's like an app each.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  So anyway, I walk in, uh, we like get to the restaurant and they're sitting these three guys.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  Wait, there was a photographer?

• 51:22Mark Normand?

  Salakus.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 51:24Mark Normand?

  So, no.

• 51:24Speaker 02

  Cause that was like such a good photo.

• 51:26Speaker 03

  These owners are sitting right outside the restaurant. So I say that we're here.

• 51:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I say that. And they're incredibly rude.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're incredibly rude.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  Are they really?

• 51:34Speaker 03

  They're not gonna seat us until our entire party's there. Understandable, that's fine, but we're waiting for like one more person at this time. So I say, alright, finally everybody's here. They go, we're gonna bring you to the back table in this private room and they do. And they go, so what do you want us to give it? I go, like, what is like, what are some of the things that you recommend? And he goes, you want me to just, uh, what do you go, like?

• 51:52Mark Normand?

  The works.

• 51:53Speaker 03

  The work.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  Give me the hits?

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, the hits. I was like, the hits. And then, so they gave us like a prefix menu item, uh, off the menu and it was just, I guess, I wanna say it was like $200 each.

• 52:03Sam Morril?

  Maybe more, it was more.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Maybe even more, yeah.

• 52:05Sam Morril?

  Way more.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  The bill was over $5,000.

• 52:07Sam Morril?

  They just dipped in and out real quick to say what's up. So they got, they got dinged too.

• 52:10Mark Normand?

  So Sal.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  Oh, they did it per head even if they didn't eat?

• 52:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  If they left, if they left?

• 52:14Speaker 03

  And there would have been.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  You had, you had an issue. You could, you had a, uh, that was a, I mean, that was a fair thing to say to them, like, these people just stopped by. Why'd you charge me for it?

• 52:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was a whole.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Did you have, did you mix it up with them?

• 52:24Speaker 03

  No, we didn't. We just paid and that was it.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  Sal, try and guess what it was. It was about 15 people.

• 52:29Sam Morril?

  Hold on, hold on.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  No, buddy, 15 people.

• 52:31Sam Morril?

  We just paid and complained about it for two years.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  Can you just give me your highest estimate what you think it could possibly be for 15 people?

• 52:38Mark Normand?

  But a couple of people, DeVito dipped out and Will Silvins dipped out.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  Food for 12 people then. Give me your highest.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Okay, so we're talking tax, tip, food and drink?

• 52:45Mark Normand?

  Wine, two, and cocktails.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. So with tax and tip?

• 52:51Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  With drinks, wine and food?

• 52:53Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  For 12 people?

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm counting on it.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  Um, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  I wanna say double whatever you're thinking.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say 3,000, oh, oh, with, with tip?

• 53:04Sam Morril?

  I think so.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say if you add tip in and you just, let's say you're doing 20%, I'm gonna say $3,600.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  What was it?

• 53:11Sam Morril?

  $5,200.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I thought, okay.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  Uh, well, the wine, I mean, if you were pounding like really expensive wine.

• 53:17Speaker 03

  We were not. No, we weren't, and there really wasn't a lot of food either. It wasn't like-

• 53:21Sam Morril?

  Not a ton of food.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  Not a crazy amount of food.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  I put it at $250 a head, right? That would get me to $3,000, and then, oh no, then tax, so then you're talking about like, uh, let's call it $3,300, and then if you tip in 20%, you're at about $4,000. So, $250, that's $250 a head before tax and tip, so I don't know what you had. Were you drinking like martini?

• 53:39Speaker 03

  No, not at all.

• 53:40Sam Morril?

  I had a, I had one.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it wasn't that crazy, but, uh, you didn't even get, like, you didn't get individual dishes, everything was just like, kinda buffet stuff.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Was it so much food you couldn't believe it?

• 53:48Speaker 03

  No, not at all. You would, you would've been better, and it would've been, uh, less expensive to get-

• 53:53Speaker 02

  You just saved the receipt.

• 53:54Sam Morril?

  Hey, we have a photo.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  He has a picture.

• 53:55Sam Morril?

  I have a photo of it.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  I'd love to see that receipt.

• 53:56Sam Morril?

  Let me bring it up. I'd like to see that as well.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:58Sam Morril?

  You know what? It doesn't matter. If you're listening, go ahead and give him another bad one. Emilio's a lot of-

• 54:04Speaker 03

  They do deserve it. I dine-

• 54:05Sam Morril?

  They were incredibly rude.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  I dine on Sam's dollar a lot, and let me tell ya, it was not a great experience.

• 54:10Sam Morril?

  I see Vito last night, we're doing Chicago, and he goes, "Bavette's, make sure Bavette's happens this week," and so I'm like, text Brian-

• 54:16Speaker 03

  I can't wait. Have you been to Bavette's?

• 54:17Speaker 02

  No, and I, and I got Chicago coming up November 14th, Chicago Theater, November 14th, Beacon, December 29th, let's do it.

• 54:23Sam Morril?

  Hey! Dude, dude, go see Sal. I, I will say, I do love Shaw's Crab House in Chicago, but we have two nights there, so we'll do Shaw's, and another night-

• 54:32Speaker 03

  That sounds good. He always gets me what I want.

• 54:33Sam Morril?

  Little Gary always gets what he wants.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  Sal too, Sal too. He lets me pick.

• 54:37Sam Morril?

  Oh, he's win- Sal sent me a video of you guys at a fancy dinner, to be like, "Hey, I did care a little Gary too."

• 54:42Speaker 03

  We did Omakas, and then I-

• 54:45Sam Morril?

  Is it pronounced Omakas?

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh yeah, that, uh, scratch, scratch by sushi.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:50Sam Morril?

  That place is unbelievable.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Check 'em!

• 54:52Sam Morril?

  Oh, good man, good man. It is a flex to take little Gary out.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  Was it Gary, Gary never, Gary old, Gary?

• 54:59Speaker 03

  Gary doesn't miss.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  Gary doesn't miss. Yeah.

• 55:01Mark Normand?

  Except for Chicago.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Well, that was, see, that, that wasn't fair.

• 55:04Mark Normand?

  Why not? He had a bad spot.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  No, for his last, for, uh, his other, you just.

• 55:09Mark Normand?

  Netflix special.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Netflix special. We go, we're gonna go out to breakfast. I picked a spot. He kept adding people, so I had to find something for this whole group. So that was not my fault. And it was last minute, I had to find something local.

• 55:20Mark Normand?

  I figured you had something in the pocket.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  And it was a dud.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, it was a dud.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it was, it's under the Ghana stuff.

• 55:25Mark Normand?

  Well, it was one of those brunch places with like scenery you could take selfies at.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Uh, you don't wanna do one of those trendy.

• 55:30Mark Normand?

  No.

• 55:31Sam Morril?

  He normally is pretty good, cause Gary appreciates what I appreciate too, like a greasy spoon diner on the road.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:37Sam Morril?

  I mean.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  Train car, train car diner.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Oh, love it.

• 55:39Sam Morril?

  Dude.

• 55:40Mark Normand?

  For two Jews.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but we get off that train. And, uh, I will say, we, uh, the Rochester one, Highland Park Diner, shout out. I fucking love that one. The one in, uh, Spokane, is it Frank's?

• 55:53Speaker 03

  Frank's Diner, yeah.

• 55:53Sam Morril?

  That's a great one. I love a box cup.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  I think it's Henry's in Buffalo.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  We went to that one.

• 55:57Sam Morril?

  Buffalo is a great one.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  In Spokane? Didn't we go to one, it was, remember that, no, we went to Jewish, that Jewish restaurant we went to?

• 56:03Mark Normand?

  The one in Richmond?

• 56:04Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I took him to Pearl's.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  That was Pearl's.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  Pearl's, yeah, yeah. Pearl's is excellent. God bless.

• 56:10Mark Normand?

  Good soup.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  I gotta start texting you guys, like, I, I don't know why I don't think to text comics when I'm in a town, be like, guys, where, where are we eating?

• 56:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm the only one who could do it.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, Bevits?

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Bevets.

• 56:22Speaker 02

  Bevets, I've never heard of that.

• 56:23Mark Normand?

  I've never heard of that either.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  That one's, that's top notch. And then, uh, or Monte Verde, I think that's what it's called.

• 56:27Sam Morril?

  Man, we'll figure it out.

• 56:28Speaker 03

  Monte Verde.

• 56:29Sam Morril?

  Little Gary always gets what he wants.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  All right, Sal, I got that, uh, receipt for you.

• 56:34Sam Morril?

  We've did this already.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  All right.

• 56:35Mark Normand?

  I like, I got, I got here with Emilio.

• 56:37Speaker 02

  You got, you got four sparkling waters at fifty-two dollars and four still waters at fifty-two.

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  A hundred and four bucks on that, so those are those, you got those bottles.

• 56:47Mark Normand?

  Yes, aqua, whatever, aqua.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  So you're looking, talking about ten, twelve.

• 56:51Sam Morril?

  Take whoever did that.

• 56:52Speaker 02

  It's thirteen bucks a piece.

• 56:53Sam Morril?

  They just brought it over.

• 56:54Speaker 02

  It's thirteen bucks a piece on those.

• 56:56Mark Normand?

  Two margaritas is forty-five dollars.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  Look at this, one drink, a hundred and sixty bucks, what is that?

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Oh, all right, guys, hold the phone here now.

• 57:02Mark Normand?

  Some lady got that.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Someone's ordering some type of rare something or other.

• 57:06Speaker 03

  That might be a bottle of wine, I don't know.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, if that's what you're doing, I'm gonna, you know, I gotta.

• 57:10Mark Normand?

  But see, they upcharge, I go, hey, give me a reposado, and they got me a classe azul, which is sixty-five clams.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  For one. Oh, that's

• 57:17Mark Normand?

  For one!

• 57:18Speaker 02

  That's

• 57:18Sam Morril?

  On top of it, they were not

• 57:20Speaker 02

  It's the drinks.

• 57:21Sam Morril?

  They were not pleasant.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were rude.

• 57:22Mark Normand?

  No.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  They were also rude. They were basically telling us to go fuck ourselves.

• 57:25Mark Normand?

  They got fifteen

• 57:25Speaker 02

  That's not right. So there you go. So the prefix itself was twelve people. It was about

• 57:30Speaker 03

  No, fifteen people.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  Two hundred and, two hundred and something a person. It's, it's, it's the drinks where they got ya.

• 57:35Mark Normand?

  They got us on the drinks.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  The espresso, every drink was twenty-five dollars or higher. Sixty-five dollars for that class. They, they should call that out before they bring it over.

• 57:44Sam Morril?

  Look at this.

• 57:44Mark Normand?

  Thousand dollar tip.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  For treating us like assholes. They threatened to break my camera.

• 57:48Mark Normand?

  And twenty-five.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Twenty-five percent.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  And again, not a crazy amount of food.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  That didn't seem

• 57:53Sam Morril?

  And I could've sworn I overheard them call Gary a dumb Jew. I don't know. My positive.

• 57:57Mark Normand?

  That might've been me.

• 57:58Speaker 03

  So then everybody I think it was everybody in our group.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  So everybody, everybody threw in?

• 58:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we had to. DeVito didn't.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:05Speaker 02

  Because

• 58:06Mark Normand?

  He left.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, he had like a couple, a couple noodles.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  Whoa. So, and then it was that whole clusterfuck with credit cards? Everyone had cash on them?

• 58:14Mark Normand?

  Levitard threw in a, a good six hundo.

• 58:16Sam Morril?

  No, that's not true.

• 58:17Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Alright, Grouch!

• 58:26Speaker 03

  There was a, there was a bit of a situation there with some of the people who drank and then, uh

• 58:31Sam Morril?

  We can't keep re-litigating this because I'm hearing from people complaining about it. I've gotten phone calls of people angry that we keep bringing this up.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  Who ordered the one sixty-five?

• 58:39Mark Normand?

  Just go to the website and leave a review with a link to Blippi shitting.

• 58:45Speaker 02

  I will go on record saying

• 58:47Sam Morril?

  Leave a review and say

• 58:47Speaker 02

  They've always been kind to me. I'm on the wall.

• 58:51Sam Morril?

  Leave a review, leave a review of saying it made you shit on your friend.

• 58:57Sam Morril?

  It made you have diarrhea shit on your friend on the floor. And give it one star.

• 59:01Mark Normand?

  If Blippi can come back, they can come back.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it does feel like a, it does, that feels like a steep check to be dropped.

• 59:07Mark Normand?

  Steep.

• 59:07Sam Morril?

  It's such, there's so much good Italian in New York City. You're out now, dude.

• 59:11Mark Normand?

  You're out.

• 59:11Sam Morril?

  There's too many good Italian spots that treat you well.

• 59:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's expensive and you're gonna be

• 59:15Speaker 02

  Why, why do you think they were, um, not pleasant to you? That's, that's baffling.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  I think they think that they have a hot ticket, that they're always busy, and they're taking that a little for granted.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, but if you're in the restaurant business and you have that kind of longevity, it's got a, a lot of it's got to be built on the service.

• 59:30Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 59:31Sam Morril?

  There's so much good Italian in the city too. In the Village especially, got like fucking Lartuzzi, uh, San Sabino, Via Cora, all these great spots, you know, so, so you go, go to the good spots.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  I like Vicks. You, you brought me on to Vicks.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  Vex is good, yeah?

• 59:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude.

• 59:45Speaker 02

  Vex is like, nice and...

• 59:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Easy.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Easy, yeah.

• 59:47Sam Morril?

  New York does Italian well, that's what we...

• 59:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:50Sam Morril?

  That's our food here.

• 59:51Mark Normand?

  I would go the same with Peter Luger, they're mean to you, they do that how you... We're Brooklyn, so we're kinda assholes.

• 59:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but they kinda earned it at least.

• 59:57Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  I was, I wasn't that impressed with Peter Luger.

• 1:00:00Mark Normand?

  I feel that way.

• 1:00:01Sam Morril?

  I like...

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:00:02Sam Morril?

  Luger's a classic, you can't give me the shit on Luger.

• 1:00:04Mark Normand?

  It's a classic.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:05Mark Normand?

  But hey, how about a smile?

• 1:00:10Mark Normand?

  They do that thing where they're like, "Hey, you fag, what's up?" You're like, "Alright, alright, jeez."

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is, it does feel like a, a factory, an assembly line kinda thing.

• 1:00:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  They just get you in there, they drop everything, it's like, it's loud, and then they bring a... Did you have dessert there? They bring over like a bucket of cream?

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:24Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  You see like, log?

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Mark Normand?

  What the fuck?

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  It's called...

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  But here's the thing, if a meal is good, I don't care how they, untreated, just give me a, you know, good meal.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Oh, so you don't even, you didn't even like the meal at Palazzo's?

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  It wasn't, I wasn't blown away.

• 1:00:35Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  Wasn't blown away.

• 1:00:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude, I mean, for steak in the city, man, strip house always hit.

• 1:00:40Mark Normand?

  Strip house.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  Strip house is top notch.

• 1:00:42Mark Normand?

  Top notch.

• 1:00:43Sam Morril?

  And I love, uh, Keens is fucking legit.

• 1:00:45Mark Normand?

  Keen!

• 1:00:46Sam Morril?

  Keens is legit.

• 1:00:47Mark Normand?

  I thought Old Homestead in there, just for good measure.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:49Sam Morril?

  That was fucking fun.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  I've never been to Sparks, always wanted to be at Sparks.

• 1:00:53Mark Normand?

  Never heard of Sparks.

• 1:00:53Sam Morril?

  It's famous for the mafia.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, the mafia shooting.

• 1:00:56Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a, yeah, you'll know, you'll know his picture.

• 1:00:59Sam Morril?

  I don't know, I think it happened out, right?

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, outside.

• 1:01:01Sam Morril?

  It was what's his name, it was, uh...

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  Sammy the Bull or something like that?

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  No, Paul Castellano, right there.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  Oh, Castellano.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  And his, uh...

• 1:01:07Mark Normand?

  Did that help your business or hurt your business?

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  And his driver.

• 1:01:10Mark Normand?

  I bet it helps.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  I bet it helps.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  Good question.

• 1:01:12Mark Normand?

  Cause it's in the paper now, and it's notorious.

• 1:01:15Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  Oh, John Gotti was the one who ordered the hit.

• 1:01:17Sam Morril?

  That's what, that's...

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, Gotti ordered the hit.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  That was like, the hit of our lifetime.

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  Well, it was that one, and then there's the other one that happened in the barber shop, where the guy got his, uh, neck...

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  No, that was Sweeney Todd.

• 1:01:28Sam Morril?

  That was the hit of our lifetime, as opposed to the YouTube video so early, which was the shit of our lifetime.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  And the barber shop was the musical of our life.

• 1:01:36Mark Normand?

  What's the, what's the barber shop?

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  The barber shop, uh, look up like Barber Shop Murder on Park Avenue?

• 1:01:41Mark Normand?

  Throat slit.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Mob hit, yeah. Throat slit.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  Ooh, that's my most...

• 1:01:45Sam Morril?

  In Eastern Promises, remember?

• 1:01:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  That's my most, that's my most, I, I hate that way of...

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  This is a famous one. I didn't imagine it, did I?

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Movies, I hate hearing about it.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  Tough. Yeah, I think it's that barbershop right there.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  The Dragons, HBO.

• 1:02:00Mark Normand?

  The Game of Thrones.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  I stopped watching it at the season six, I was like, I've seen enough throat.

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  On Park Avenue. Al, Al, Anastasia, that's who died.

• 1:02:07Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  Never heard of him.

• 1:02:08Mark Normand?

  Midtown Starbucks.

• 1:02:10Sam Morril?

  Love the hats, look at the hats.

• 1:02:12Mark Normand?

  Wait, why's it gonna say Starbucks?

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  You think he was tailed there?

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  I think this is a Luigi one.

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  You think he was tailed there? You think someone gave the drop inside the, inside the barbershop, like, he's here right now?

• 1:02:24Mark Normand?

  Costello.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  I take it back, I don't think his throat got cut, I think, uh, uh, the hitman came in and then he just started shooting him up. When he had the towel over.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  It'd be great if he did like something else, like just make him drink all the barbicide or something.

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  It was like the same thing, they put the towel over the face and then it's like, boom.

• 1:02:38Sam Morril?

  It does seem fun to be a detective back then, they just throw on one of those hats.

• 1:02:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:42Sam Morril?

  I got one of my.

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  What year was that?

• 1:02:44Mark Normand?

  Fifty-seven.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  What year?

• 1:02:46Mark Normand?

  Fifty-seven.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  That's pre-DNA.

• 1:02:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  Oh, so you really had to like go in there and.

• 1:02:51Mark Normand?

  And catch the guy.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Be like, uh, Morgan Freeman, what's his name? What's that guy who walks in and he's, what's his name? The actor?

• 1:02:59Mark Normand?

  Columbo.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  No, it's, it's, uh, it's, uh, it's, uh, the guy from King Kong, Ain't Got Nothing on Me.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  Denzel.

• 1:03:06Mark Normand?

  Denzel.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  He's the, uh, the.

• 1:03:08Mark Normand?

  Bone Collector.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  No, he's the.

• 1:03:10Mark Normand?

  American Gangster.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  He goes in, he assesses the whole room right away.

• 1:03:13Mark Normand?

  Training Day.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  Oh, Equalizer.

• 1:03:15Mark Normand?

  Equalizer.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  You really had to go in and equalize.

• 1:03:18Sam Morril?

  I was about to say Devil in a Blue Dress.

• 1:03:21Sam Morril?

  Keep naming Denzel movies.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  Malcolm X.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  He had to go in and.

• 1:03:24Mark Normand?

  He got game.

• 1:03:31Sam Morril?

  Macbeth.

• 1:03:33Mark Normand?

  Gladiator Two.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Ah, this whole time, I couldn't think of a single movie.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Sam Morril?

  Dude, you know it's kind of a fun one from the nineties with Denzel? It's not a great movie, but for some reason I just liked Fallen.

• 1:03:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, Fallen, yeah.

• 1:03:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that was creepy. John Goodman and Denzel, it's like.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that time is on your side.

• 1:03:52Sam Morril?

  I never saw it.

• 1:03:53Mark Normand?

  Man on Fire is fun.

• 1:03:53Sam Morril?

  I gotta see it.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Man on Fire is fun. I feel it doesn't hold up. I used to think it was great.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah?

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:58Sam Morril?

  I mean, I could see anything he's in pretty much. He's like, got that Nicholson thing where.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Fences. Wasn't that a thing? Fences?

• 1:04:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was a thing. Apparently.

• 1:04:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's Man on Fire.

• 1:04:06Mark Normand?

  Lee is a real.

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  Man on Fire, I've watched it a bunch.

• 1:04:08Sam Morril?

  That Kurosawa one.

• 1:04:09Mark Normand?

  Uh.

• 1:04:10Sam Morril?

  A high and low.

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  Did you see the Equalizer?

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  I did, I saw all, I saw all three. I saw all three. They're, yeah, they're fun.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  I think the first one was really good, yeah.

• 1:04:18Mark Normand?

  They're remaking everything. They made The Accountant 2.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  God, it was tough. That was a tough watch. I liked the first one, though. The first one was alright.

• 1:04:24Sam Morril?

  Heard the first is good.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was fun enough.

• 1:04:26Mark Normand?

  Slow start, but yeah, it picks. I watched it on a.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  But you see all these guys. You see Affleck, Liam Neeson. They're all doing this, like, similar movies.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  It's odd what Liam Neeson ended up doing, like, after the My Set of Skills one.

• 1:04:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the Taken?

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  Taken. He did another hundred of them.

• 1:04:41Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:04:42Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Like, not just Taken. Like, every movie was the exact same. And it's weird, because he's a notable actor that can get work, but he then took the same action role in, like, four... I'm not even joking around.

• 1:04:54Mark Normand?

  He did a wolf.

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  Thirty B-movies after that.

• 1:04:57Mark Normand?

  I have a theory on this.

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:04:58Mark Normand?

  These old... These guys get old, and they want to still seem tough. It's the same with Jane Fonda. They get old, but they still want to be fuckable. That's the guy's version of staying fuckable.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:09Mark Normand?

  And then you get Tom Cruise doing it. You get... Keanu did it with Wick.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Mark Normand?

  You know, Liam Neeson, Matt Damon now.

• 1:05:15Sam Morril?

  I think with Cruise, he just wants to still be, like, box office. He cares that people are going to the theater. So it's like...

• 1:05:20Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:05:20Sam Morril?

  So he's like, "I just want people to see the movie, and that's what they see," you know?

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  The thing with Neeson is they all felt like the exact same movie.

• 1:05:27Mark Normand?

  What was the gray? Did you see the gray?

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  Oh, well, that one...

• 1:05:30Mark Normand?

  He's just doing Taken with wolves.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  That one was, I think, a little bit of a curveball. Him fighting wolves.

• 1:05:34Sam Morril?

  I liked that better than Dancing with Wolves. I liked, uh...

• 1:05:36Mark Normand?

  I'm Taken by wolves.

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  Dancing with Wolves, yeah.

• 1:05:38Sam Morril?

  I find that to be charming.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think he just... I mean, spoiler alert, I guess. But he dies at the end, doesn't he?

• 1:05:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, the wolves get him.

• 1:05:49Mark Normand?

  Nah, I think he slipped in the shower.

• 1:05:50Speaker 03

  You know, I liked the Odenkirk's movie, though. That was another version of that.

• 1:05:53Mark Normand?

  They made another one of those?

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, they made another one. But, yeah, the first one was good. I don't know if... Is this out?

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Was it good, the second one?

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  I didn't see it.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  He... He sold me on it. I watched it. I was like, "I... I... I believe him in this role."

• 1:06:06Mark Normand?

  It was a curveball, and it worked.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  But back in the day, you would see Jean-Claude Van Damme, and you'd be like, "Holy shit, this guy's tough." Now there are guys who don't know how to fight.

• 1:06:14Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  But I don't think he knew how to fight either, but you believed it.

• 1:06:17Mark Normand?

  You believed he could do a split?

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  Jet Li.

• 1:06:19Sam Morril?

  I remember I was on Conan once with Jean-Claude Van Damme, and I could tell the segment was really going south, because Conan goes, "Why don't you try a move on me?"

• 1:06:27Mark Normand?

  That's when you know.

• 1:06:28Sam Morril?

  He's like, "Cone is like, "Save this interview, let's go."

• 1:06:32Mark Normand?

  Damn, yeah, every mom when I was a kid wanted to bang Jean Claude.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, you do those split, yeah, crazy, crazy splits. He'd always be in his undies.

• 1:06:40Sam Morril?

  I mean, dude, Jackie Chan shit was crazy.

• 1:06:43Mark Normand?

  That guy's a real professional, he's on another level.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, his own stunts.

• 1:06:47Mark Normand?

  By the way, they say the N-word quite a bit in Rush Hour.

• 1:06:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:51Mark Normand?

  He says it.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  No, he doesn't.

• 1:06:52Sam Morril?

  Chris Tucker makes him say it. Yeah, he says it a couple.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:06:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he goes, "Say you're my, uh, N-word," and he goes, he says it.

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:07:00Mark Normand?

  That's a fun time, that was a comedy.

• 1:07:02Sam Morril?

  It was a different time.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  And those are box office smash hits.

• 1:07:05Mark Normand?

  They made three of them.

• 1:07:06Sam Morril?

  Their chemistry was.

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  I mean, Chris Tucker is incredible.

• 1:07:08Mark Normand?

  He's incredible. That guy steals everything. Not because he's.

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  I was gonna be like, "Easy." But he's not, is he not really doing a lot right now, Chris Tucker?

• 1:07:18Mark Normand?

  He's in Sheen's documentary, apparently they were pals.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Money Talks, dude.

• 1:07:23Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 1:07:23Sam Morril?

  We watched that on the tour bus.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:25Sam Morril?

  Vito and I, like, we're reliving our, our favorite night. And we're like, "Yeah, this doesn't hold up great," but Tucker's amazing in it.

• 1:07:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's so good.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  That's when Hogan, uh.

• 1:07:35Mark Normand?

  Did he break his neck or something?

• 1:07:37Sam Morril?

  He knocks him out.

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  He, he puts him in, he, he claims that wrestling's fake, and he's like, "Is this fake?" And he puts him in a chokehold. And knocks him out, and he falls flat on his head.

• 1:07:46Sam Morril?

  He's like, "I said wrestling's fake, I didn't say you're not stronger than me."

• 1:07:48Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  No, it's, it's actually hard to watch his head just.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, he cracks his head on the floor and.

• 1:07:54Sam Morril?

  It's ridiculous.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  And he gets, you never. Isn't that David, uh, no, I mean, uh, Richard Belzer?

• 1:07:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:01Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  Up and he's like, he's out.

• 1:08:09Mark Normand?

  Nobody helps.

• 1:08:13Speaker 02

  You know how dangerous that is?

• 1:08:14Mark Normand?

  I know, the head on the cock.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  Could have done full brain damage.

• 1:08:18Mark Normand?

  I don't care for the face slapping.

• 1:08:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, so.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  Did he, did he sue him for that?

• 1:08:23Speaker 04

  Yes, he did, and won.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  And do we know what, what kind of, what kind of cash prize he won?

• 1:08:29Sam Morril?

  That is, that's insane.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  To, to also not react, like, to keep reacting like it's normal, that the guy just dropped and slammed his head against the ground?

• 1:08:38Sam Morril?

  He used to doing that with fucking different types of dudes. See, this is a comedian you're fucking with.

• 1:08:42Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:08:43Speaker 04

  So this is a total comedian movie, pops back up and says, "We'll be right back," he says, "I have no memory of this."

• 1:08:47Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:08:50Mark Normand?

  What a pro.

• 1:08:51Sam Morril?

  Holy shit.

• 1:08:52Mark Normand?

  What a pro. Oh, he's bleeding.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  Oh, bleeding. Wow. Yeah, he's bleeding.

• 1:08:56Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:08:58Mark Normand?

  How about that?

• 1:08:59Speaker 02

  There's a certain amount of people that say he deserved it.

• 1:09:02Sam Morril?

  Who did?

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  Belzer.

• 1:09:05Mark Normand?

  I heard he-

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Big Bird, come on.

• 1:09:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we should have like a really heated political discussion in these outfits. Like dude, we gotta do something about this Gaza situation. What the fuck are we watching?

• 1:09:17Speaker 04

  Uh, Sal, $400,000. That's how much you won.

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:09:20Speaker 03

  Ah. What's that, what's that today, though?

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, we'll put that in the calculator.

• 1:09:23Speaker 03

  Ooh, I will.

• 1:09:24Mark Normand?

  Cause what was that, 85 or something?

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  I'm gonna put that at, I'm gonna put that at 1.6.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  I, I think it's more than that.

• 1:09:29Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna go 2.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think more.

• 1:09:32Mark Normand?

  It's a little less than the Bellato bill.

• 1:09:39Sam Morril?

  Uh-

• 1:09:40Mark Normand?

  What year-

• 1:09:40Speaker 02

  And they treated him better.

• 1:09:44Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:09:46Speaker 04

  Adjusting to 1.2 today.

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  Oh, it's way old.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:09:48Mark Normand?

  Wow. Well, what year was it?

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  Did you say 1.2, Sal?

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  I said more than 2. He said 1.6, I think.

• 1:09:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I went-

• 1:09:55Speaker 04

  I'm gonna guess 88 or 86.

• 1:09:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, we need the year.

• 1:09:58Speaker 02

  I was going off 80.

• 1:10:00Mark Normand?

  But I guess we don't need the year.

• 1:10:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:01Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:10:02Speaker 04

  85.

• 1:10:03Mark Normand?

  85.

• 1:10:03Sam Morril?

  It's funny, cause we all think like, I'd take a fucking knockout for that kinda money.

• 1:10:06Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:10:07Sam Morril?

  But then you're like, that could've done, that could've been bad.

• 1:10:09Mark Normand?

  I got put to sleep so many times in like 8th grade, just friends learning about it, and uh, you sleepovers.

• 1:10:14Speaker 02

  It's super dangerous.

• 1:10:15Mark Normand?

  Super dangerous.

• 1:10:16Speaker 02

  You're cutting off oxygen to your brain.

• 1:10:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's uh, that was a fun night.

• 1:10:20Sam Morril?

  We used to rap on shit, we used to beat the shit-

• 1:10:22Speaker 03

  I know, you do chokeholds all the time, that was like the thing.

• 1:10:25Mark Normand?

  Remember the guy-

• 1:10:26Sam Morril?

  Powerbomb kids?

• 1:10:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, a lot of powerbomb. We would do a thing for 2 minutes, we'd go like, Billy, Chris, 2 minutes, and you'd just go, "Ah!"

• 1:10:35Mark Normand?

  Bloody noses, and you'd break like a beam in the banister.

• 1:10:38Sam Morril?

  Billy gets him down and he shits all over his face.

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  That's a fight-

• 1:10:41Sam Morril?

  We'll use that 10 more times on this episode.

• 1:10:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  We had a fight club.

• 1:10:44Mark Normand?

  Basically had a fight club.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, well-

• 1:10:46Mark Normand?

  I think we could knock over-

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  That's the thing, concussions weren't like a, a real thing.

• 1:10:49Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:10:50Speaker 03

  I mean, you get concussions, but nobody cared, it was just like, oh, concussion.

• 1:10:53Sam Morril?

  Goldman has a bit about this, they said, you got your bell rung.

• 1:10:55Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, exactly.

• 1:10:56Sam Morril?

  I remember we did it in school, we got caught by our coach, we were all like beating the shit out of each other, and he was like, you're all suspended.

• 1:11:02Mark Normand?

  Ah!

• 1:11:02Sam Morril?

  Fucking idiots, cause we were all, you know, we'd have each other like sharpshooters and shit.

• 1:11:06Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:11:07Sam Morril?

  Idiots.

• 1:11:09Mark Normand?

  There was always the one kid who would lose his temper, remember that? You'd be like, it was just a fun fight and he was like, "Ahhhh!"

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  Turned real.

• 1:11:16Mark Normand?

  Start stabbing someone. Then there was the kid whose dad beat him. So then he's like, you know, he would see red when you fought him.

• 1:11:23Sam Morril?

  What's the clip? It's like gone viral a bunch of times. Where the kid is like bullying all the other kids on the boat? And he's like, "You fucking..." He's saying slurs to everyone.

• 1:11:32Mark Normand?

  On a boat?

• 1:11:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:34Speaker 02

  Is it karma? There's like a karma video where...

• 1:11:36Mark Normand?

  I think it's called "I'm a..."

• 1:11:36Sam Morril?

  No, it's... No, it's... It's a movie. It's a kid. It's like...

• 1:11:40Speaker 02

  Oh, it's... Okay.

• 1:11:42Sam Morril?

  It's always going viral. I don't know what it is.

• 1:11:45Mark Normand?

  Bullying on a boat. I'm excited.

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  You ever watch those instant karma videos on YouTube?

• 1:11:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, those are great.

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  They're the best.

• 1:11:51Mark Normand?

  Those are great.

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  When someone's being a dick or a bully or an asshole and then immediately like they crash their car or something.

• 1:11:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:57Speaker 04

  You have a Sandler movie when he's yelling at the kids on shore?

• 1:12:00Sam Morril?

  Definitely not a Sandler movie. It's way...

• 1:12:02Mark Normand?

  Well, it's a movie or a video?

• 1:12:03Speaker 02

  I got a feeling something really bad's gonna happen to you and your whole family, O'Doyle.

• 1:12:07Mark Normand?

  I saw a great one where a guy chews out a dude in a car and he just turns around and hits a foam pole. So good, because he has to pretend like it doesn't hurt.

• 1:12:16Sam Morril?

  This is it.

• 1:12:17Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 1:12:18Sam Morril?

  Wait, pause it.

• 1:12:19Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:12:19Mark Normand?

  Mean Creek.

• 1:12:21Speaker 04

  Wait, wait. Is that Drake Bell?

• 1:12:22Sam Morril?

  Fast forward a little bit. Yeah, fast forward a little bit.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Can you play this on the pod?

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:12:26Mark Normand?

  Peters?

• 1:12:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah, here it is. Here it is. Right.

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  Ready?

• 1:12:41Sam Morril?

  This isn't it, I guess. No, it's like right here. Oh wait, it must be before this then.

• 1:12:52Sam Morril?

  No, it's earlier than this. It's when he's yelling at everyone in the boat.

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  Does the kid die because he can't swim?

• 1:12:58Mark Normand?

  What did he think was happening? They're just gonna not push him over? They're in a canoe.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  But did we... Does that kid die?

• 1:13:05Sam Morril?

  I don't know. I've never seen the movie. I just seen the clip where he's like...

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  Because if he doesn't drown, it's not really that big a deal.

• 1:13:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:11Speaker 04

  Hold on.

• 1:13:12Mark Normand?

  That feels like a real B-movie here. Mean Creek?

• 1:13:17Sam Morril?

  Shut up, George. What the hell is this?

• 1:13:22Mark Normand?

  Well, I gotta go back to the shit video.

• 1:13:25Speaker 04

  You gotta find this out.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  You know what I just watched? Did you ever see that Top That rap?

• 1:13:29Mark Normand?

  Top That rap?

• 1:13:29Speaker 03

  Oh, we did. We watched it.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  Did we watch it together?

• 1:13:31Speaker 03

  I think we watched it.

• 1:13:32Speaker 02

  It's like an 80's movie about...

• 1:13:34Speaker 03

  Oh, it's just great, yeah.

• 1:13:35Speaker 04

  Is it now? I found it. Is that Karen Culkin?

• 1:13:37Speaker 03

  Isn't it Rollerblades? Are they on Rollerblades? Or something? The girl comes in, right? Yeah, I watched that with you.

• 1:13:53Speaker 04

  How did we get here?

• 1:14:09Speaker 03

  I like how this kid has a lisp, though.

• 1:14:12Mark Normand?

  This seems like Ronon reviewing a movie.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  This is wild, dial on that.

• 1:14:22Speaker 04

  That guy's an asshole.

• 1:14:23Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 1:14:24Mark Normand?

  He's a good actor, though.

• 1:14:25Speaker 02

  Well, I believe him.

• 1:14:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:27Speaker 04

  What happened? Who is that actor? It's Drake. Josh Peck? Josh Peck? Josh Peck? Dude, he's pretty fucking good.

• 1:14:33Speaker 02

  Oh, that's Josh Peck?

• 1:14:35Mark Normand?

  Is he related to Gregory?

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  Oh, like, this guy is like a very fam- he's a funny, famous actor.

• 1:14:40Speaker 04

  No, he's good, dude.

• 1:14:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's really funny.

• 1:14:43Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:14:43Speaker 04

  He has some kid now? Holy shit.

• 1:14:45Mark Normand?

  Beautiful eyes on Peck.

• 1:14:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  He's one of the kids- he's the one who didn't get molested on Nickelodeon, right?

• 1:14:52Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:14:53Speaker 03

  Oh, that was- yeah.

• 1:14:54Speaker 02

  Yes. That's the guy of Drake.

• 1:14:56Speaker 03

  He lost the weight after the...

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  By the way, he has asked to be on the show. Really? He contacted us to be on this show.

• 1:15:01Mark Normand?

  Only if he reenacts that thought. Don't hit all of us.

• 1:15:05Speaker 04

  And we have to act really scared.

• 1:15:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  We're on a boat.

• 1:15:09Mark Normand?

  Stop it! You fucking [BLEEP] dad. You butt puncher.

• 1:15:16Speaker 04

  He called a little girl a [BLEEP] bitch.

• 1:15:19Mark Normand?

  Ah, that has 4 billion views.

• 1:15:28Speaker 03

  He [BLEEP] fathers.

• 1:15:29Mark Normand?

  He is, and he's so fat.

• 1:15:31Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:15:31Mark Normand?

  Look how wide he is.

• 1:15:32Speaker 04

  Keep it going for a sec. They had table reads on this.

• 1:15:37Mark Normand?

  Is she even Japanese? Oh, like-

• 1:15:40Sam Morril?

  Jewish American princess.

• 1:15:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  He's eating everything! Weight, size, his sex!

• 1:15:49Sam Morril?

  He's bobbing and weaving like Muhammad Ali.

• 1:15:53Mark Normand?

  There's something different about ass eating and butt munching.

• 1:15:55Speaker 03

  I bet he probably riffed some of this too. They're like, "Oh shit, weren't even expecting that."

• 1:16:00Sam Morril?

  They were like, "None of this was in the script." You were supposed to just say, "Shut up."

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  And the script is like, "Going to jerks." The director's like, "Make your own!"

• 1:16:10Mark Normand?

  Have fun with it.

• 1:16:12Speaker 02

  Print it!

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  The alliteration?

• 1:16:20Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 1:16:21Mark Normand?

  Four billion views, right there.

• 1:16:22Sam Morril?

  Imagine if that wasn't the script, though. The writer's just like, "A child will say..." He's like, "Yes, um..."

• 1:16:28Sam Morril?

  It's gotta flow.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  Well, let me take you to the exact opposite of that spectrum. Watch how this girl defends herself in "Top That." It's the rap in "Top That."

• 1:16:38Mark Normand?

  "Top That," alright.

• 1:16:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah, damn. I gotta watch Mean Creek later.

• 1:16:42Mark Normand?

  I know, right?

• 1:16:44Speaker 02

  Okay, so these girls are friends.

• 1:16:46Mark Normand?

  Eighty-nine.

• 1:16:46Speaker 02

  And they come across these guys.

• 1:16:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:50Speaker 02

  You gotta back it up a little bit.

• 1:16:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think you gotta start it, yeah. I've seen this.

• 1:16:57Speaker 05

  He has the cutest walk. Maybe I can do you guys together.

• 1:17:02Mark Normand?

  Uh-oh.

• 1:17:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, god.

• 1:17:20Speaker 05

  Okay? No, not in a movie. Oh my god.

• 1:17:28Mark Normand?

  Come on!

• 1:17:30Speaker 05

  Let's go back the other way.

• 1:17:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good idea.

• 1:17:34Speaker 05

  Are you kidding? I'm so embarrassed.

• 1:17:38Mark Normand?

  You are.

• 1:17:41Speaker 02

  Look how cool he is, she is.

• 1:17:44Speaker 05

  I will never be hip.

• 1:17:50Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:17:52Sam Morril?

  Hold on, I gotta bring the [bleep] guy back.

• 1:17:55Speaker 06

  I'll tell you what, I'm right here by your fucking mother and I'm an asshole, alright? And they [bleep] shit.

• 1:18:03Mark Normand?

  We got a nice mashup.

• 1:18:10Speaker 02

  Builds up our confidence, and watch this.

• 1:18:49Mark Normand?

  Alright, we got a [inaudible] on October 7th.

• 1:18:53Sam Morril?

  That was fucking...

• 1:18:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was a lot of white- I mean, but she also told them.

• 1:18:58Mark Normand?

  Top that.

• 1:18:58Sam Morril?

  Two ways, two ways to get your point across, that's what I say.

• 1:19:02Mark Normand?

  Holy man, that made me uncomfortable.

• 1:19:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:05Mark Normand?

  Woo, the shit video was classic.

• 1:19:07Sam Morril?

  You better find a way to keep that little kid on the boat in the episode, [inaudible] because we need that.

• 1:19:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I can't imagine Mean Creek has a big, uh, what do you call it, residuals or royalties? We could, we could-

• 1:19:18Sam Morril?

  I've seen that clip a lot on, on the internet.

• 1:19:21Mark Normand?

  I haven't seen you die like that in a while.

• 1:19:24Speaker 02

  Josh Peck.

• 1:19:24Mark Normand?

  Like kitty-

• 1:19:25Sam Morril?

  A little kid being that hateful.

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  It's insane.

• 1:19:29Sam Morril?

  It's kinda shocking.

• 1:19:30Speaker 02

  Do you remember wha- what his story was?

• 1:19:32Sam Morril?

  I never saw the movie, I don't-

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  Oh, you just saw that?

• 1:19:34Sam Morril?

  I just saw that clip, and I was like, "What the fuck is this?"

• 1:19:36Mark Normand?

  Wow, yeah, wow, that, that really opened my eyes.

• 1:19:39Sam Morril?

  I saw with the meme, "Me who disagrees with anyone, who disagrees with anyone me politically." And it's just that fucking-

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  That's great. This, this works too.

• 1:19:51Mark Normand?

  You got shitty ideas.

• 1:19:56Mark Normand?

  I like how they keep jiggling, it keeps wiggling.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:20:00Mark Normand?

  That was a lot of junk.

• 1:20:01Speaker 02

  And he's just staying there. The other guy's already- And his mouth is open. Why does he have to be naked? He's already being shit on, I mean, it's like-

• 1:20:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah. This show has really had some highs and lows.

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  This has been a scary Halloween.

• 1:20:16Mark Normand?

  You guys want any candy from the road?

• 1:20:19Speaker 02

  We might be put in the Sesame Street YouTube algorithm because of the thumbnail. We gotta make sure you watch those tags.

• 1:20:26Mark Normand?

  That's true. Holy hell, where do you go from here?

• 1:20:29Sam Morril?

  It's a fun app though.

• 1:20:30Mark Normand?

  You guys on the road?

• 1:20:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you guys coming. Gigs coming up, boys. You with me?

• 1:20:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, Saudi Arabia.

• 1:20:35Sam Morril?

  Well, this is out after that.

• 1:20:37Mark Normand?

  You'll survive.

• 1:20:38Speaker 03

  Chicago theater. Doing, and uh...

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  You're doing Chicago with me?

• 1:20:43Speaker 03

  Am I?

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  Are you not?

• 1:20:44Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 1:20:45Speaker 02

  Oh no, you're doing the Beacon with me though.

• 1:20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, Beacon.

• 1:20:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, no flight?

• 1:20:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, no flights. Yeah, I'm on the road, always adding cities, touring all the way through 26.

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  Here you go.

• 1:20:54Speaker 02

  SavalkanoComedy.com. Uh, yeah, so I got Chicago on the 14th, Atlantic City Feb 28th, Beacon Theater December 27th, The Ryman April 12th, a lot of, a lot of big theaters coming up.

• 1:21:04Mark Normand?

  That's a special place.

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  SavalkanoComedy.com, and then I got a new talk show pod coming out called Manoush. Late fall, early winter, I'm doing it, so it's coming out.

• 1:21:13Mark Normand?

  Can we hear the premise?

• 1:21:15Speaker 02

  Really big guests, really small talk. It's a, it's, it's like a really absurd, it's like in and out of sketch and real talking without like calling it out. It's like something a little bit different.

• 1:21:24Mark Normand?

  Alright, great.

• 1:21:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:27Mark Normand?

  Well, I just realized, you got the best career.

• 1:21:28Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm open with these guys?

• 1:21:30Mark Normand?

  This is opening for everybody, opening for Nate.

• 1:21:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:32Mark Normand?

  Arenas, uh, overseas.

• 1:21:36Speaker 03

  Gotta do it all.

• 1:21:37Speaker 02

  Dinners.

• 1:21:38Speaker 03

  It's alright.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  Dinners.

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, dinners, dinners. I'll be in Pittsburgh, uh, that's, all these places are not the actual major cities, but they're right next to them.

• 1:21:47Mark Normand?

  Go to Nate Bargatze's website.

• 1:21:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pittsburgh, Oregon, and Cincinnati, that's Cincinnati Liberty Township.

• 1:21:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's a fun one.

• 1:21:55Mark Normand?

  The question is, if you're opening at the Beacon, do you still take him to a nice New York joint?

• 1:22:00Speaker 03

  Of course he does.

• 1:22:00Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 1:22:01Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:22:02Mark Normand?

  That was part of it.

• 1:22:02Sam Morril?

  There's some good stuff around there. Sushi Osaka up on West Side.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  We are going someplace the next two days, but we're driving home from Providence on the...

• 1:22:10Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:22:10Speaker 03

  Oh, nice.

• 1:22:11Speaker 02

  I hope you're on our bed on that last night.

• 1:22:12Sam Morril?

  I got, uh, Salt Lake City, I'm going back to Wise Guys second time this year, November 14th through 16th, and I will be at, uh, two shows in Reno, Nevada, at the Atlantis Casino, uh, November 29th. Carnegie Hall, December 4th. Let's go. See you guys there.

• 1:22:26Mark Normand?

  Local boy.

• 1:22:26Sam Morril?

  Gary will be there.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22:28Mark Normand?

  Alright, uh, oh, the, tonight? I guess.

• 1:22:32Speaker 04

  I was just 26.

• 1:22:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, great. Then I'm in, uh, Magoobie's. Two shows sold out. Come to the first two. It's on Halloween, so nobody wants to come to those, I guess. But hey, we're in Washington DC, Lincoln Theater, Rochester, New York, at the Kodak Center, Niagara Falls, San Diego, and Prior Lake, Minnesota for a casino. And I'm doing some Shane Gillis arenas, uh, in December as well, so.

• 1:22:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'll definitely add some stuff, but, uh.

• 1:22:56Speaker 02

  When does this come out?

• 1:22:57Mark Normand?

  26th of October.

• 1:22:59Speaker 02

  Okay. Tonight, we're playing San Diego.

• 1:23:01Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:23:03Speaker 02

  San Diego tonight.

• 1:23:05Mark Normand?

  That's a great city.

• 1:23:06Sam Morril?

  Drink some Bodega Cat Whiskey. Get at bodeacatwhiskey.com. DM Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram. Matt Herman will get back to you if you want us in your, uh, liquor store, your bar, whatever. We're making some moves there.

• 1:23:16Mark Normand?

  Here, here.

• 1:23:17Sam Morril?

  Shout out to all the places carrying us right now. We love you. Uh, new one, a new one just started carrying us, right?

• 1:23:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. We're all over the south, uh, the southeast.

• 1:23:26Sam Morril?

  Whoa. All right. Well, I love you guys, and, uh, we'll see you next week.

• 1:23:29Mark Normand?

  Al Farhad.

• 1:23:30Sam Morril?

  See, see all these, see both these boys on tour.

• 1:23:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah! Happy Halloween, Quips! Happy Halloween, Quips! Happy Halloween!

• 1:24:23Speaker 07

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• 1:24:52Speaker 08

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