Ep 254: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - Are You Garbage - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley from Are You Garbage? join Mark and Sam for a booze-soaked reunion full of road stories, Philly nonsense, and deep dives into what makes a real piece of trash. They swap wild comedy club tales, debate classy vs. garbage behavior, and take a few shots along the way. Are You Garbage Podcast: https://areyougarbage.com | YouTube Sponsored by: Go to https://sheath.com and use promo code Drunk for 20% off. Your new fall wardrobe awaits. For free shipping and 365-day returns, head to https://www.quince.com/drunk Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code drunks at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/drunks #chubbiespod Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD:https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #KevinRyan #HFoley #AreYouGarbage #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, hilarious.

• 0:07Mark Normand?

  Put it in the bar or something.

• 0:10Sam Morril?

  Look at these, this is hilarious. Who would wear these? Jesus Christ.

• 0:16Sam Morril?

  You wear them every day? Are we on the air? Yeah.

• 0:18Mark Normand?

  Oh geez.

• 0:19Sam Morril?

  Size 13, this is my size too, what the hell?

• 0:21Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 0:22Sam Morril?

  I don't, I'm not, I don't think I'm gonna wear these.

• 0:24Mark Normand?

  They don't look bad, except for our dumb faces.

• 0:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they're cool without our faces.

• 0:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 0:28Sam Morril?

  With like a suit, maybe?

• 0:30Mark Normand?

  Ah, it's a little better, a little better.

• 0:33Sam Morril?

  You're right.

• 0:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 0:35Sam Morril?

  Alright, so uh, man, feeling alright, feeling a little, little shaken up a little bit, but shaken up.

• 0:41Mark Normand?

  What happened?

• 0:42Sam Morril?

  Oh, just the hard drinking weekend.

• 0:44Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, yeah, that'll get ya.

• 0:46Sam Morril?

  How about you? You had a, you had a fucking night?

• 0:49Mark Normand?

  Speaking of hard drinking, I got a drinking story for ya.

• 0:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 0:52Mark Normand?

  So, do Akron on Friday, killer. Akron's wild, it's like the 50's out there, bowling alleys and diners and uh...

• 1:00Sam Morril?

  Women can't get an abortion?

• 1:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, whites only, it's crazy. But uh, did Akron, got the rental car, drove my fat ass to Dayton, 3 hours. Had a, we hit a diner in the middle of Ohio, me and Sean Murphy, I go, "Let's hit a diner", I'm hungover, I'm gay, let's find like the most diner-iest diner.

• 1:19Sam Morril?

  I love a dinery diner.

• 1:21Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:22Sam Morril?

  There's one in Rochester that's like a boxcar that I go to.

• 1:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, I know that one!

• 1:25Sam Morril?

  I love a good boxcar diner.

• 1:27Mark Normand?

  That's a great one.

• 1:27Sam Morril?

  Love a fucking good diner.

• 1:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so a real greasy spoon, so we find a place called Fred's. And we get in there, it's got the cat on the wall, the clock, you know, with the eyes and the tail, like old school.

• 1:38Sam Morril?

  Pull it up, pull it up, Sal, please.

• 1:40Mark Normand?

  Fred's, Fred's in Akron. And you know, the cashier, she's one of those old metal ones, every lady's name Blanch or Gertrude, they got a pencil in their hair, I mean, classic diner, wacky wallpaper.

• 1:52Sam Morril?

  Kind of an attitude too, because you like it?

• 1:54Mark Normand?

  Yes, yeah, that's it, Fred's. I'm, look at that, I mean, it's in the sticks, baby.

• 1:58Sam Morril?

  I like it.

• 1:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the food was great, great coffee, the whole thing, but I s-

• 2:03Sam Morril?

  That looks like a great greasy spoon.

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  Great diner.

• 2:05Sam Morril?

  That type of breakfast with those types of hash browns hits.

• 2:08Mark Normand?

  And the prices were from the 50's too, I gotta say.

• 2:11Sam Morril?

  I love that too.

• 2:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:13Sam Morril?

  I know Vito always resents it a little when I, when I get out of it, uh, unscathed. When it's like, when it's like a $9.99 omelet, he's like, "You're lucky bastard."

• 2:21Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 2:21Sam Morril?

  Fuck you dude.

• 2:22Mark Normand?

  He's a gold digger, this guy.

• 2:23Sam Morril?

  He's a little gold digger, he wants it, yeah.

• 2:27Mark Normand?

  So, we go to Fred's. I walk in, there's a little bit of a wait, and a guy in the kitchen is eyeballing me. Young scruffy guy, look at that, that is classic. Yeah. The stools and everything. Kitchen guy's eyeballing me. Scruffy guy, shaggy hair, you know, 20-year-old, 18-year-old kid. And he goes... I'm like, alright, this guy might recognize me. We sit down, the lady brings us the food, she goes, "It's on the house." Whoa. "The kitchen knows you." And I go, "I'll pay." It was like $23 for the meal. I was like, "I'll pay, I feel good paying, it's fine." She's like, "It's on the house." So I drop a 50 on the table. How you do it? And the guy, the lady goes, "Just saying, it's on the house if you meet the guys in the kitchen." And I said, "Okay, no problem." So I go in the kitchen. They grab you, they start beating shit out of you? Yeah.

• 3:12Mark Normand?

  I go in the kitchen, it's like three guys, and they're all aproned out, you know, covered in egg yolk and jizz and all this shit. Yeah. And they're like, "Hey, we're big fans of comedy and like, great to meet you. I'm, uh, I'm Bob, this is Bubba, this is Dave." And then the old guy turns around on the griddle, he goes, "And I'm Fred, and these are all my boys." So they're all his kids. I love that. It's some real, uh, Midwest shit. So I get a photo with all of them, I smell like hash browns, I get out of there. It's on the wall now. Ooh, that would be nice. Nothing's finer than in your diner. Name an omelet after me, will ya? Remember that episode? Of course, yes, Seinfeld, she'll love the broiled chicken.

• 3:52Mark Normand?

  So we drive to Dayton, and I'm like, alright, I'm going to Dayton. You gotta think, okay, Chappelle's Compound is five... 50, 45 minutes away, in the Yellow Springs. He's got that new club out there. Mm-hmm. So I go, I have his number, he invited me out there during COVID. Yeah. Which was very nice, and I couldn't do it for some schedule reason. But I still had his number. The club, right? The club. Yeah, yeah, he asked me to play as well, I was fucking, I was flattered as hell. Yeah, I'd love to, but I just... I couldn't make it work, but, uh... So I said, "Let me just text him, why am I such a pussy? Why am I so scared of confrontation and bothering people?" I'm texting him. So I text it, I delete it, text again, ah, that's no good, delete it.

• 4:34Mark Normand?

  And I just said, "Fuck it, hey Dave, it's a long shot, I'm in town at the theater, it's sold out. If you wanna pop in, we'd love to have you, no pressure." Send.

• 4:44Mark Normand?

  Thirty minutes goes by, forty-five minutes, eh, nothing, an hour, eh, nothing, whatever. You're just like, fuck why'd I drop the N-word? Yeah. I'm trying to be cool! I know, I was quoting Chris Rock's bit. No, I do, you do that with like the comic legends, you like, you start, you stop, you start, you're like, what do we? Mm-hmm. Well, you know my famous Jerry text that I got made fun of for like four years over it? What was it again? I hadn't talked to him in a while and I said, "Hey Jerry, I'm jonesing for that hang." Yeah, I remember. Which everybody, people wore shirts to my show, "Jones for that hang, you're a douche, you're a homo," whatever. Eh, we all, we all miss fire. Yeah, and we did hang out, so it wasn't a total loss, but... And you were jonesing? I was, I was jonesing, but I wrote "Jerr," which was a real problem. Well, we...

• 5:28Mark Normand?

  J-E-R. "Hey Jer." That's rough.

• 5:33Mark Normand?

  That's not great. Not great. I mean, if you're really tight, but you weren't. No, we weren't. Yeah. But I was trying to force the tightness, which is really bad. Yeah. Um, so, so I go, "Okay," pushed it, nothing back. Now it's like five o'clock, I get to the show at 6:30, show's at seven. I get the call from Dave, Dave Chappelle, phone ringing. I swipe it and I go, "Hello?" And he goes, "Hey, hey Norman, it's Dave. What's up?" I'm like, "Uh, I'm just getting ready for the show, I would, I know it was a long shot, we'd love to have you." Sounds a little like Redd Foxx in Chappelle.

• 6:07Mark Normand?

  And, uh, he kept using the cool slang, he's like, "I'd come by, but I'm in the cut," and I don't know what that means. Yeah. I think that means I'm in the woods, or I'm in the, the, the middle of something, I don't know, he's in the cut. So he goes, "I'm in the cut, it's my wife's birthday, I can't come by, I gotta go do her thing, but I appreciate the invite." And I go, "Yeah, man, I wasn't trying to overstep, I just..." And he goes, "No, no, no, it meant a lot to me that you wanna hang out, I appreciate it. I can't go tonight, but let's hang out after." He's so down to earth. I know, he's so normal. So I was like, "I'd love to hang out after, but here's the thing." I'm such a psycho, I booked a bar show after the theater. You have something's wrong with you. Something's wrong. You bail on the bar show for the Chappelle hang. Well, you know me, I wanna make it all work.

• 6:50Mark Normand?

  So I go, "Hang on, I'll see you after the show, but I have a bar show, I'm a psycho." And he goes, "You're not a psycho, man, I get it," so that was cool. And then I go, "I'll do the bar show and I'll come right to you." And he goes, "All good, whatever, I'll be out all night." He's a night owl. He's a night owl, big time. So I do my show, it was killer, Dayton crowd was amazing. Then we drove to this place called Brickies. And it's like a bar, restaurant with a bunch of tables. I go up first or second, I go, "Hey, let me do less time, I'll cut the money in half." The guy goes, "No problem." We do the show, I get out of there and I text Dave. They're in the back, they're like, "You can keep all the money if you meet three guys in the back."

• 7:32Mark Normand?

  They beat the shit out of me. So I get offstage, I text Dave, I go, "Hey, man, hit me with that address, baby." And then Sean Murphy goes, "Ooh, baby."

• 7:42Speaker 02

  Joneses for that hang, baby.

• 7:43Mark Normand?

  That was bad. So I edit it and I just take off the baby, and I go, "Hit me with that address." I don't want him to be like, "He's on some gay shit, what's he doing?" You know, so, uh... You called him baby? I was, I was in the moment. You called Jerry Jar and Chappelle baby? What's happening? I was rolling, I was in the moment.

• 8:00Mark Normand?

  I was cooking. I was all teed up. What's up, Blair?

• 8:07Mark Normand?

  What's up, my end? All right, so, so I'm like, "All right, let me text Dave, we'll get that address." So now, we went, it was like, it was like the movie Swingers. We run offstage, we're sitting in the car, in the parking lot of Brickies. Go, just waiting for that address, 'cause we gotta know where to go. And it's, uh, 10:45, 11, 11:45, I'm like, "Shit, I also have a 6 a.m. flight." 'Cause I tried to get back for the baby. So that means I gotta drop the rental car off, you know, we gotta get there at 5, drop the rental car. You're running all nighter. I guess so. Yeah. But, you know, you do it for the story, so I'm like, "Ah, now it's 11:30." And he's not writing back, so then Sean goes... You might have to hit him again. And I'm like, "I can't do the double text, but I never got the, the reply."

• 8:52Mark Normand?

  And I go, "What about this? What if we just start driving towards Yellow Springs? Cause it's 45 minutes away. And then maybe he'll text, and then we'll be already on the way." And he's like, "Yeah, that's good, but what if he never texts? Then we drove out there for nothing." So now we're in this big debate, and I go, "Fuck it." And I just start driving. So we start driving to the Yellow Springs, nothing. Every five minutes, I'm looking, nothing, nothing. Now we're in Yellow Springs, just sitting there, in Yellow Springs. I get the call. "Hey, it's Dave, here's my address." And he hangs up. He just goes, "I'm at 802 Franklin Street." Hung, hung up. And I was like, "802 Franklin, 802, put it 802." I'm trying not to, uh, forget it. And we show up, we get, we're at his house, in the woods. Literally just a house, like a regular old house. And there's pictures everywhere, and he's got a bunch of people dancing, and food out.

• 9:36Mark Normand?

  And, uh, he gives me a drink, we chat it up. We chat for like a half hour. We do some zinging, some zagging. He goes, "I'm going to my shack." And I go, "What's the shack? I thought it was like a nightclub or something, called the shack." It's literally a barn in the woods, that he has a bar in, a DJ set up.

• 9:55Sam Morril?

  Just a private bar?

• 9:56Mark Normand?

  Private bar, like his little man cave kinda thing. And his assistant jumps-

• 10:01Sam Morril?

  I wonder if his man cave has employees?

• 10:02Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly!

• 10:04Sam Morril?

  He'd know you're fucking loaded.

• 10:05Mark Normand?

  He hits a, a thing on the wall, and he goes, uh, he goes, "Hey, hey, come on out, we're here." And a DJ comes out and starts DJing. So they're just blaring-

• 10:14Sam Morril?

  Just like on retainer, he just, they-

• 10:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's like, "Best money I ever spent was this guy, he's amazing, and he was a great DJ." He's playing creep and all this shit.

• 10:21Sam Morril?

  Did he just live at the house or something?

• 10:22Mark Normand?

  I think so, yeah.

• 10:23Sam Morril?

  Instead of a butler, he's got a DJ.

• 10:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, that's the blackest thing ever.

• 10:27Sam Morril?

  Cause he's my DJ.

• 10:31Mark Normand?

  So, uh, the DJ's cooking, and we're talking, and how about this?

• 10:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 10:35Mark Normand?

  We're all drinking, Dave, uh, I started smoking cigarettes, by the way, cause I didn't wanna look like a dork. He's like, "You want one?" I was like, "Yeah!"

• 10:42Sam Morril?

  Smoked a few cigarettes this weekend, too.

• 10:43Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 10:43Sam Morril?

  You get drunk and they fucking taste-

• 10:45Mark Normand?

  I know, I know, and I got all juiced up.

• 10:48Sam Morril?

  How come you bum one from a lady, and now you're smoking a Slim? You're like, "God, I don't look cool."

• 10:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, I hate a Slim.

• 10:52Sam Morril?

  It, it, it feels good.

• 10:54Mark Normand?

  Slim is bad. So I go-

• 10:56Sam Morril?

  She's the lady.

• 10:57Mark Normand?

  That's true. So then we're chain smoking, we're drinking, and he goes, "Hey, man, I gotta say, that joke about would gay people see when they die? That killed me."

• 11:07Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow.

• 11:08Mark Normand?

  The Stan Hope episode.

• 11:09Sam Morril?

  That was incredible. That was one of the, that may be the best riff.

• 11:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, thanks. Well, that, but that means he saw the show. He watches the show.

• 11:16Sam Morril?

  Dave.

• 11:17Mark Normand?

  So, then we hung out and I drove. "Hey, the boys are here. What's shaking, gang?"

• 11:23Sam Morril?

  Guys.

• 11:24Mark Normand?

  Hey, hey, good to have you back. We got a, we got a couple of beers, no pressure, half a cookie, and a chub. Good to have you. Thanks for having us.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  You want to tell a story? Who are we talking about?

• 11:38Sam Morril?

  He was at Chappelle's Man Cave.

• 11:39Mark Normand?

  I went to the Chappelle compound or whatever. Oh, really? I just randomly texted him in Ohio, and he said, "Come on by."

• 11:45Speaker 02

  No shit?

• 11:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's one of those scary texts, you know?

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Thanks, bud.

• 11:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a big matzo ball hanging out there. Exactly, exactly. Thank God he replied.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  It's Mark, Mark Norman. Hey, buddy. That's awesome.

• 11:56Mark Normand?

  Well, yeah.

• 11:57Sam Morril?

  Young Chappelle there. All right, cheers, boys.

• 11:58Mark Normand?

  Cheers, gang. Look at this.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  All right.

• 12:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love that sound.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Talk about tanking a Monday early.

• 12:05Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah. They got a great bottle, too, a High Life bottle.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's all right.

• 12:08Sam Morril?

  Between this and a Bud Light can, I always lean bottle.

• 12:11Mark Normand?

  You gotta go bottle. It's like, I feel like Shawshank when they're paving the roof.

• 12:14Sam Morril?

  I do, I do love a Bud Light bottle.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  That was a, too, do you know what? It was a porter.

• 12:18Mark Normand?

  A porter?

• 12:19Speaker 02

  He says a porter beer, which is like...

• 12:20Mark Normand?

  That's a thick, that's a heavy beer.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  They made that look like it was a Corona.

• 12:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, they glistened. Gold liquid in the sun.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  Man.

• 12:28Mark Normand?

  And then they blitzed.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  On the roofs of one of our own houses.

• 12:30Mark Normand?

  And then they had that, that Italian broad doing the opera.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, when he broke.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  I don't know what that lady was singing about.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  You don't speak Italian?

• 12:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that's true.

• 12:41Sam Morril?

  We had Rainn Wilson on here who does not like Shawshank.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  What?

• 12:44Mark Normand?

  That's what I said.

• 12:46Sam Morril?

  That's a hot take. He has, you know what, though? I appreciate that he had some hot takes.

• 12:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  What were the hot takes?

• 12:50Mark Normand?

  He hated women.

• 12:53Mark Normand?

  I guess that's not that hot.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  That's not that hot. Check the history books, that's a pretty good take.

• 12:56Sam Morril?

  He ate at Goonies?

• 12:58Mark Normand?

  Hated Goonies, which I, I get behind that one.

• 13:00Sam Morril?

  No, I don't, I like it.

• 13:01Mark Normand?

  It's a kids movie.

• 13:02Sam Morril?

  I still like it, though. It's still a classic.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Not for nothing, you brought him up. Not that I'm talking trash. I don't know if he's a big tennis guy, but the US Open, all those celebrities up there like, "Ooh, ooh, what are you talking about? You see one tennis match every six years, you're up there acting like the kid's your, your son."

• 13:18Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Shut up! "Ooh, they're gonna do the, ooh, ooh, ooh," they're into it.

• 13:23Sam Morril?

  Are you, are you into tennis or no?

• 13:24Speaker 02

  I like tennis.

• 13:25Sam Morril?

  It's fun.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm up there biting my hat because some fucking other millionaire, you don't give a shit. Give me a fucking break. That's a hot take.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  Big man's got two sips of highlight.

• 13:33Mark Normand?

  Hello?

• 13:34Speaker 04

  Watch out. Ray Wilson's getting it, everyone's getting it.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  I'm just saying. You don't like Shawshank?

• 13:38Sam Morril?

  Fuck the US Open celebrity row, dude.

• 13:41Speaker 02

  It's just, I mean, come on, go sit and watch it.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  If you got invited, you'd be up there hampering it up.

• 13:46Sam Morril?

  I would, I'd love to go.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  And Ben Stiller's different. He diggle all the time.

• 13:50Sam Morril?

  Ben Stiller's a hardcore sportster.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I can already picture Foley there like, "He's got chocolate all over him." About 12 seconds.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Look at this guy.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Wasn't it one of those, that was at the US Open, it was in like a, like a, a cup.

• 14:04Mark Normand?

  One of those boats.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  That's alright.

• 14:07Sam Morril?

  Look at these outfits. People are dressed to the nines.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  He's got the earpiece on, he's gotta hear what's, "Shut the fuck up. You gotta hear what's going on?"

• 14:14Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Come on, man.

• 14:16Mark Normand?

  Is that the bear?

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, the official hat. Give me a break. Stop it.

• 14:21Mark Normand?

  Is that Taylor Swift, newly engaged?

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Shout out to him.

• 14:25Speaker 04

  Shout out.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:26Sam Morril?

  He really, it's a different look.

• 14:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  I like that, though. That's nice.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  I'm a fan of him.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  And they're back there chilling, they're having fun. You know what I mean? You get people like sitting in their throat, "Ooh, yeah, Ray Wilson was walking."

• 14:36Speaker 04

  I gotta say, he's only saying, he's only saying this because we just signed a deal with Garage Beers that Kelsey owns, so. They're really fucking toeing the cup.

• 14:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you defended him really quickly.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  There's a couple Garage Beers in here, boys. What are you talking about?

• 14:48Sam Morril?

  I was like, "Man, that's kind of weird out for you." Like, "I don't know what you're talking about. He looks lovely."

• 14:52Mark Normand?

  Who's that guy? Uh, the virgin guy?

• 14:54Speaker 02

  That's Jon Bon Jovi.

• 14:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, whoa, he went white.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  I got a hot take on him, not a hot take, but I just want to say that

• 15:00Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  That guy aged and grew into his things awesome.

• 15:05Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  He didn't keep the hair, he doesn't, he doesn't look like a guy in Long Island that had a fucking band in the eighties that's still hanging on to it. He grew with

• 15:12Sam Morril?

  Like Steven Tyler?

• 15:13Speaker 02

  He grew into the billionaire that he is or whatever, you know, the, the rich gentleman.

• 15:17Mark Normand?

  Obsessed with the surgery, the botox, the hair transplant.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  He's got nothing.

• 15:21Mark Normand?

  Guy aging gracefully.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, when you just look normal, you look, you're like, oh, that's like a, it's refreshing just to see a seventy-two-year-old guy.

• 15:27Mark Normand?

  Now, don't, I don't want, I don't want the ladies doing it, they look like

• 15:30Speaker 04

  That guy's gotta keep it tight.

• 15:32Mark Normand?

  Hey, Hoffman.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 15:34Mark Normand?

  I did see Jason Biggs, the celebrities get better and better each night, you know, you go, you're like, Rita Rudner.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  Start with the openers? Who's featuring tonight?

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Is that Klinger from MASH? What are we doing here?

• 15:47Sam Morril?

  Gary Vider, how the hell did you get the hell in there?

• 15:50Speaker 04

  Don't let anybody in here.

• 15:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Gary speaks into the place, doesn't he?

• 15:53Sam Morril?

  He does, he's, he's

• 15:54Speaker 02

  He's got the angle.

• 15:55Sam Morril?

  He's got the con.

• 15:55Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 15:57Sam Morril?

  No, some of these rockers, some of these

• 15:58Speaker 02

  Now, none of these photos are proving my point, but I caught a clip last night

• 16:01Mark Normand?

  I believe it.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Where it was like intense, man, and they're all doing all that stuff, it's like, come on, man, stop.

• 16:06Sam Morril?

  Like, oh my god, yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's fuck, shut up.

• 16:08Sam Morril?

  If you're a psycho fan, I'll give it to you, but I'm with you, they get a little

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:12Sam Morril?

  One, one game every

• 16:13Speaker 02

  They're playing the part, they gotta, ooh.

• 16:14Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  They got free tickets.

• 16:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, even he's doing it.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Donny.

• 16:17Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  They got him with a pill.

• 16:19Sam Morril?

  No, he's just mad that a, that a Spaniard was in the country, that's what it was. That's his face.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  Boys, get her.

• 16:25Sam Morril?

  Get him out.

• 16:27Mark Normand?

  Uh, what, what Jack Nicholson was doing it back in the day.

• 16:30Sam Morril?

  Oh, but he was a psycho, man. He was, and he was like, he was getting in fights with Polanski and Chinatown because he, they couldn't finish the fourth quarter of the Lakers, like He was like throwing his TV on the floor, he's like, fuck you.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  That's a little intense.

• 16:40Sam Morril?

  He wants to watch, uh, Magic.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 16:43Sam Morril?

  Back, it was before Magic, I guess.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  He's a diehard Lakers fan.

• 16:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's, he's

• 16:47Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 16:48Sam Morril?

  Old school.

• 16:49Mark Normand?

  You know where he's from?

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Who, Rodney?

• 16:51Mark Normand?

  Jersey, Jack.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:52Mark Normand?

  Izzy.

• 16:53Speaker 04

  Mm.

• 16:53Mark Normand?

  Neptune.

• 16:54Sam Morril?

  Anyone who's a Yankees and a Lakers fan, it bugs me a little bit.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  I get it, though.

• 16:59Sam Morril?

  I get it, but it bugs me a little bit.

• 17:00Mark Normand?

  Why you buy?

• 17:02Sam Morril?

  No, but you kinda get the best of both worlds.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Sure, sure, but I mean, he's earned it.

• 17:06Sam Morril?

  He's earned it. I love Nicholson.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  He's out in LA, proved himself out in LA, made a lot of good pictures. He'd be a Lakers fan.

• 17:12Sam Morril?

  He should be a Knicks fan.

• 17:13Mark Normand?

  That's fair.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  He should be a Knicks fan, but he lived out there.

• 17:16Sam Morril?

  He did.

• 17:16Mark Normand?

  Remember Mark Cuban would get out there.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  He owns the team.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  That I'll give you.

• 17:23Mark Normand?

  He would really get out there.

• 17:24Sam Morril?

  Steve Ballmer, same shit. That guy looks like he was coming. He was fucking cheering so hard. He was going crazy.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  We have some bozo in Philly that's trying to do it now on the Sixers. He's like, so he did it last season, they kinda got checked a little bit, I think. I could be talking out of my ass. There's some rich guy that sits like in that row on the Sixers, and he's like real close to the bench or whatever, and he's really, you know, over, he's trying to be like-

• 17:45Sam Morril?

  That's Ballmer. Look at that guy, he's going nuts.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 04

  He had a, did he, I mean, he defended himself against the whole 28 rate.

• 17:51Sam Morril?

  Who knows what happened there. Yeah, there's, god, that guy's gotta stop digging.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  Alright, now let's see here.

• 17:58Sam Morril?

  This ain't all the president's men, Pablo Torre, stop it.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Where did that come from?

• 18:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's doing all this-

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Some blogger?

• 18:03Sam Morril?

  He's a, no, he's a journalist, that guy, but it's, he's driving me nuts because now he's going after the Knicks.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's enough of that.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  What's he doing?

• 18:10Sam Morril?

  You better stop digging.

• 18:12Mark Normand?

  He's digging?

• 18:12Speaker 02

  No, the guy, um-

• 18:13Sam Morril?

  He's trying to prove that they're paying players on the side-

• 18:16Speaker 04

  Through like other deals.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  For the salary cap, right?

• 18:18Sam Morril?

  Circumventing the cap.

• 18:20Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 18:21Sam Morril?

  Pablo Torre.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Some players on the team have some no-show jobs that they do, and certain contractors like New Jersey.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  So it went through like a shell company, or like a startup, that was like a 28, they-

• 18:31Speaker 02

  Hey, by the way, it's not a shell, it's a startup, okay?

• 18:33Speaker 04

  It was a startup company, but then they let the, they let that go bankrupt. That's how they got caught. It's like, how do you let the, I don't know?

• 18:40Speaker 02

  Aren't you supposed to? Walk away from it?

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, well then, now you're in this fucking-

• 18:43Mark Normand?

  Trying to win some games here.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, what the fuck?

• 18:45Mark Normand?

  What about a Shalaboo? He's always out there at the Knicks games.

• 18:49Sam Morril?

  But he's a hardcore fan.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's a New Yorker, Shalameh.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah.

• 18:53Sam Morril?

  He's a real fan.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 18:54Mark Normand?

  He's always dressed a little kooky.

• 18:56Sam Morril?

  I like it, dude.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  He's into the fashion, young kid.

• 18:58Mark Normand?

  He doesn't even care about a Kardashian whore. He's just like, hey.

• 19:02Sam Morril?

  He, dude, he made her a Knicks fan.

• 19:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there he is.

• 19:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 19:06Mark Normand?

  Damn, that guy does what he wants.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 19:09Sam Morril?

  He wasn't, he could film a movie whenever he wants. He was like, I'm taking the playoffs off, I'm gonna go to the Knicks games. I respect it.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Is that true? He called that?

• 19:16Sam Morril?

  It seems like it. It seems like he's always working, right?

• 19:18Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 19:19Mark Normand?

  He's good.

• 19:22Mark Normand?

  Man, he's a crazy looking guy.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, odd face, sharp, sharp face on him.

• 19:26Mark Normand?

  Got rodentia.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  Why does Rodney keep coming back up?

• 19:29Mark Normand?

  That's a mirror.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  That's my screen.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Pretty good looking guy.

• 19:36Mark Normand?

  He's kind of a screensaver. He hates his child.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Wait, the background on your computer is Rodney Dangerfield?

• 19:41Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  There's no one closer to you in life than Rodney Dangerfield?

• 19:46Mark Normand?

  Man.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  Shout out to Sally.

• 19:49Sam Morril?

  His nightstand next to his bed is red buttons.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  Goodnight, Red.

• 19:55Sam Morril?

  The joke was for two people.

• 19:57Mark Normand?

  I liked it.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:59Mark Normand?

  Uh, what the hell you guys been up to? I mean, you've been on the road.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  We weren't. We're off. We were off for the summer. Kip, you had a baby. We're getting ready to get back out in September.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  I do have to say, very un... You were the only person like outside of my immediate friend group that texted.

• 20:15Mark Normand?

  Ah, I tried.

• 20:16Speaker 04

  Lot of, lot of DMs, obviously.

• 20:17Sam Morril?

  I saw you at Ari's place.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  Oh, at Ari? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I apologize.

• 20:21Mark Normand?

  He said text.

• 20:21Sam Morril?

  I would have texted if I didn't see you.

• 20:23Speaker 04

  I've gotten, but out of nowhere, which I hadn't talked to you, you're like, "Congratulations."

• 20:27Mark Normand?

  Well, when I, when I had a baby, I got so many that it touched me. I was like, "Oh, my God." I didn't know Joe DeRosa knew my name or whatever. So then I'm like...

• 20:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I wrote you, "I guess this is it."

• 20:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, see you never. But, uh, so I said, "When I, when I see a friend with a baby, I'm texting them."

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Appreciate it. It went a long way.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. When a little something from the heart comes from Norman, out of nowhere, I tell you, it really goes a long way.

• 20:49Mark Normand?

  It wasn't easy. I...

• 20:51Speaker 04

  Sat in drafts for a while.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it really strikes you. You know, text Mark Norman.

• 20:56Speaker 04

  I was like, that's what I was like, "Oh, wow." That's a, you know, that was a, that was a big one.

• 21:00Sam Morril?

  Any good baby advice from Mark?

• 21:01Mark Normand?

  Catchy BT, right?

• 21:02Speaker 04

  No. I mean, you're, you're a little older. Your kid's a little older than mine, I think.

• 21:05Mark Normand?

  Seven and a half.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm at three.

• 21:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. You're in the thick.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  Uh, it's just getting, it's just getting out of it a little bit. It sucks.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  You went all that? You did the whole thing?

• 21:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, the whole thing. I took off from the road and really just went in. And boy, you don't get any sleep. You're delirious. You got shit on your shoulder. You're puked in your hair. You're, you're a whole different person. It's Mr. Mom. It's bad.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  I thought you went and took the, the 50's route.

• 21:28Mark Normand?

  I tried.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Light a cigarette, walk out to everybody, "Call me when he's two."

• 21:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Don't worry, I got help. I hired a lot of Jamaicans.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 21:37Sam Morril?

  How many Jamaicans?

• 21:38Mark Normand?

  Ah, the bobsled team.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  First one in a bowl, on that one.

• 21:45Mark Normand?

  Feel the rhythm.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Any cooking or just baby stuff?

• 21:48Mark Normand?

  Babies lit, um, uh, they cook?

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, they don't eat, they juke like a...

• 21:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, your baby's eating some jerk chicken?

• 21:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, I would love that. I love a good bump of clout, but...

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Get to buy a beef patty, man.

• 22:00Sam Morril?

  Oh, the oxtail man.

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  Uh, no, they did the dishes, vacuumed and stuff, because sometimes the baby goes to sleep for like two hours, so I think they feel weird just sitting there, so they're like, "Ah, I'll do the dishes."

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Wow, look at that, Kippy.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  Uh-huh.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  What'd you tell me your girl did?

• 22:14Speaker 04

  What?

• 22:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, you got a lady?

• 22:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, we got, I got a lady.

• 22:17Mark Normand?

  Polynesian or Thai?

• 22:19Speaker 04

  White lady.

• 22:20Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 22:21Sam Morril?

  Ooh, that's...

• 22:22Mark Normand?

  I can't afford that.

• 22:25Mark Normand?

  Ukrainian at least?

• 22:26Speaker 04

  No, full blown, she's from Seattle.

• 22:29Mark Normand?

  Ahhh.

• 22:30Speaker 04

  She's older, an older lady, like, not older, but like, she's more, her kids are raised. So she's more, more of like, uh, you know, uh, older, older broad.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  You think something a little war torn?

• 22:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:42Sam Morril?

  Like Ukraine, yeah.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  Some off the books.

• 22:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:45Sam Morril?

  Now, you want, it's hard to complain to just a regular white woman.

• 22:48Mark Normand?

  That's true. And then they complain. They have a, a, a microaggression, need a me day, that's why.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  You don't get to hear that.

• 22:54Mark Normand?

  You don't hear that from a Jamaican.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  What's that, you're pulling up shorts and I hear what the nanny?

• 23:00Mark Normand?

  Arnold's nanny. Boy, Maria Shriver had a real, that face could cut glass.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  A little Chalamet, kind of.

• 23:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah!

• 23:08Sam Morril?

  Man, he really fucking did it.

• 23:10Mark Normand?

  He really did it.

• 23:11Sam Morril?

  Came to America, dominated, got a Kennedy.

• 23:13Speaker 04

  Such a great burbit of like, why don't you, why, why would he not think he could fucking pull that off?

• 23:18Sam Morril?

  Incredible.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Like, he's been in the zone for 40 years. He's been killing it.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  I mean, it didn't really seem to affect anything. He's got a nice kid. I'm pretty sure she gets taken care of.

• 23:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but that kid, whenever they take a family photo, that other kid's like in the corner somewhere.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 23:31Sam Morril?

  It's always kind of rough.

• 23:32Mark Normand?

  He looks just like him, too. It's crazy.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's pretty wild.

• 23:35Mark Normand?

  Oh my God, he looks like a little, uh, Arnwood, a little of, uh...

• 23:38Speaker 04

  He's only three months there.

• 23:42Mark Normand?

  Who's the guy, Andre the Giant?

• 23:43Speaker 04

  He does.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Hey, that was the minute, steamy.

• 23:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, the maid sex?

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:49Sam Morril?

  You can't, one thing to fuck the maid, you can't come in the maid.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 23:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, you figured she'd clean it up. Yeah, you come anywhere, she'll get to it. But that's the thing, is there's a woman in the house, like, a woman always go, "What the hell? Why would he cheat on Maria?" It's like, well, it's a different vagina. It has nothing to do with how hot she is.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  It's too close proximity, too.

• 24:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah, like Michelin food, probably better than Popeyes. But if Popeyes shows up, you're gonna eat it.

• 24:14Mark Normand?

  Exactly, there's no logic to it.

• 24:16Sam Morril?

  Popeyes is good, actually, it's a bad.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  She could've let go right there.

• 24:18Mark Normand?

  What do you mean?

• 24:19Speaker 02

  Go back to that picture.

• 24:22Mark Normand?

  Was that, uh, you gotta hit the back button?

• 24:24Sam Morril?

  Didn't he get, didn't Arnold get a little shit for groping back in the day?

• 24:27Mark Normand?

  He did, yeah.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was real handy in the movie.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  There's one thing on his mind, and it ain't what's for dinner, I'll tell you that.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  I mean, even that, even that, the beginning of Pumping Iron, isn't it just like, it's all about coming and pumping and coming and pumping? Of course he's gonna fuck the nanny, what are we talking about? The intro to his movie was about coming.

• 24:44Mark Normand?

  He didn't grope enough to not be the governor of California.

• 24:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. Governor of California.

• 24:50Speaker 04

  Did you, did you watch his documentary?

• 24:51Mark Normand?

  I did.

• 24:52Speaker 04

  It's kinda funny, he's like, feels bad about his dad for being a Nazi and coming home and losing the war. He's like, "Those Nazis, they really, you know, hey, well, they felt really bad afterwards."

• 25:00Mark Normand?

  Really glossed over that a little.

• 25:02Speaker 04

  They did.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Are you talking about this one, or the?

• 25:04Speaker 04

  The documentary that came out like, whatever, last year, two years ago. They tried to like sympathize that his dad, he's like, "My dad came home with problems," and, you know.

• 25:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  That's crazy, so, a young Arnold Schwarzenegger was, was a young kid in Nazi Germany, Austria. Austria, in World War II.

• 25:21Sam Morril?

  It's funny to talk about Holocaust, uh, World War II, and he's just like, "Mm."

• 25:26Mark Normand?

  Like race.

• 25:27Sam Morril?

  Just pumping.

• 25:32Sam Morril?

  And the nanny?

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Dude, he sounds so retarded, it's crazy.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  Fuck, he does.

• 25:43Mark Normand?

  Man, he must have really slayed through LA. Just the gash he was inhaling.

• 25:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, the 80s must have been a wild time.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  What are you, my drunk uncle?

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Lot of talent, lot of trim, huh? Great. The gash.

• 25:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But yeah, yeah.

• 26:02Sam Morril?

  He must have had a fun life.

• 26:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, forget about it. And then he's the Terminator, and then he's the governor, I mean, yeah, he's living it up.

• 26:08Speaker 04

  We were just talking, I was in something of, uh, he made the most money on Twins.

• 26:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 26:14Speaker 04

  Thirty, forty million or something.

• 26:15Sam Morril?

  Same with Ivan Reitman, I think, yeah, because they just...

• 26:17Speaker 04

  They just took everything on the back end, and it was like, it was still VHS sales, yeah.

• 26:22Mark Normand?

  That's always the weird shit, you know, uh, what's the Aerosmith guy? Perry?

• 26:25Speaker 04

  Steven Tyler?

• 26:26Mark Normand?

  Tyler. He made more on Guitar Hero than he said in all of his years touring albums. Guitar Hero, a video game.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  I thought you were gonna say, uh, more off of, uh, Armageddon.

• 26:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, I'm sure that didn't hurt. But yeah, yeah, so you never know what's gonna... Oh, Tony Hawk, more money on the video game.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:46Mark Normand?

  And, uh, you know, years of everything.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  He told us that when he went to meet with his agent, he said, you know, what's the check for this thing? And he gave him like a check for like a million bucks.

• 26:53Speaker 04

  I think it was, the first check he got was like six million dollars.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Imagine that?

• 26:57Sam Morril?

  Oh, I'm glad.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Panera Bread, he got a check for six million?

• 27:00Mark Normand?

  Was that your office?

• 27:00Speaker 02

  No. He said they were out for lunch. I don't know. I don't know what this guy eats.

• 27:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, you had him on the pod?

• 27:08Speaker 04

  We had him on the pod, yeah.

• 27:09Sam Morril?

  He's a Norman fan.

• 27:10Mark Normand?

  I know!

• 27:11Speaker 04

  Get him on the pod!

• 27:12Sam Morril?

  He was saying, he was saying that Mark's a good skater, I saw that clip.

• 27:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  You are a good skater.

• 27:17Mark Normand?

  Met the world to me. I've never, that's one of the, you never think you'd be there.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  You're very humble about that, too, you never really bring it up.

• 27:23Mark Normand?

  Well...

• 27:23Speaker 02

  That and that tight little body you got.

• 27:25Sam Morril?

  Get a couple more, get a couple more drinks in him, he'll talk about his skating.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 27:28Sam Morril?

  No.

• 27:28Mark Normand?

  I got my trophy at, at my house.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  You have a trophy?

• 27:31Mark Normand?

  I won a couple competitions.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  What? I didn't know you skated professionally.

• 27:35Mark Normand?

  Well, I wouldn't say professionally. I didn't have a sponsor, except for A.A. Yeah, yeah, I was...

• 27:41Speaker 02

  This was when you were a kid?

• 27:42Mark Normand?

  It was like comedy, my, before comedy comedy, you know what I mean? Like, I was obsessed with it, it's all I did. I had eight friends, we all did it together, every single day, for nine hours a day.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  But you did competitions when you were a kid in Orleans?

• 27:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Damn, that's pretty good. And you won a couple.

• 27:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, sure.

• 27:58Sam Morril?

  It's kinda like having like a side hustle thing, like the way, you know, a guy shows up to a pool hall and you're like, "Oh, this guy's fucking good at this." When you just whip it out, it's kinda shocking.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's very shocking.

• 28:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but also I did it before black kids started skating, so that was a little, it was easier.

• 28:13Sam Morril?

  Just another thing they took from the white man, god damn it.

• 28:16Mark Normand?

  Well, it was a very segregated, like, we had a, we had a black guy in our group, Marcel, and he was a really good skater, and black guys would be like, "What you doing, man?" I mean, it was 1976.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  They probably...

• 28:27Speaker 04

  They probably...

• 28:30Speaker 02

  Skateboarder back in the 80s and 90s, that must've sucked.

• 28:33Mark Normand?

  Hundred percent.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Talk about blazing a trail.

• 28:35Mark Normand?

  I remember hearing a interview with Urkel.

• 28:39Sam Morril?

  Julia White.

• 28:40Mark Normand?

  Thank you, and he said he went to, he was the only white kid, or only black kid in an all-white school in Pasadena, and he was Urkel at the time, and he said he got bullied quite a bit, and it was racial, so he left and went to a black school? He got bullied more.

• 28:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Really?

• 28:53Mark Normand?

  Because he was Urkel, Urkel showed up to the hood, they went to town on his ass, he was like, "I should've stayed with the whites."

• 29:00Speaker 02

  Man, just dropped out of school and got homeschooled, you're Urkel, what are you doing?

• 29:03Mark Normand?

  Go to Chinese school, something.

• 29:05Sam Morril?

  That is a tough, that is a tough character to be in high school for.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  For some reason, I see him walking around in the outfit too, I don't know why.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  Well, that is tough to try to be cool, when that is your...

• 29:14Speaker 02

  You're kind of spurring.

• 29:15Sam Morril?

  He did the same high school Webster's, like, "Get him."

• 29:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 29:20Sam Morril?

  Fucking Gary Coleman, that guy must've had a horrible childhood, man.

• 29:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, rough, totally.

• 29:24Sam Morril?

  I mean, that's, I wanna bully him right now, look at this kid.

• 29:28Mark Normand?

  And then when, cause he was, in high school, he was trying to be cool.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like, there's no way that guy can come to...

• 29:33Sam Morril?

  But he is kind of a cooler guy, like, when you see him interviewed, like...

• 29:36Speaker 04

  I don't buy it, I still go, "You're trying, he's still a dork."

• 29:39Sam Morril?

  But when he turned into Stefan, you're like, he is kinda cool, I don't know.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Stefan Urkel, he's, no, he's still the guy that I would, if I was like, I see him as he's still in high school, like, he's never not gonna be that nerd.

• 29:49Sam Morril?

  It's crazy he never really did another thing, cause that show was so fucking big.

• 29:54Mark Normand?

  Well, it's like the Seinfeld curse, if you're so good, it actually hurts you in life later.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Remember him talking about that, they talked about how they wanted the money?

• 30:02Mark Normand?

  Who?

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Just, uh, Jason Alexander.

• 30:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  That interview where he said how he, not that they ruined television, but the reason that they asked for so much money was because we might not be able to go on and do stuff after this.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  Cause we're gonna be so George, yeah.

• 30:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but then it shows you how great Dreyfus is. Cause she's still prospering.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  Low key, she's the, has the best career of like, anybody ever.

• 30:23Mark Normand?

  Easily.

• 30:24Sam Morril?

  Best, best, yeah, best comic actress.

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Avengers of old Christine, new Avengers of old Christine.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  SNL.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  SNL, now she's in Marvel. No, I'm just saying after, after.

• 30:32Sam Morril?

  Marvel?

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm saying the whole career.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's, uh, picked up in a storyline for, um, uh, out of the last couple that they did and she's in Thunderbolts, which is like the next Avengers.

• 30:42Sam Morril?

  It's funny that, that you're in Marvel and to me, that's like the least impressive shit she's done.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  It's money though.

• 30:46Sam Morril?

  I am sure, yeah, but she's fine.

• 30:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:49Sam Morril?

  She's alright.

• 30:50Mark Normand?

  How long did Christine go on? What was that? Was that at least four years?

• 30:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was a handful.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Couple Emmys, yeah?

• 30:54Mark Normand?

  What?

• 30:55Sam Morril?

  Veep is.

• 30:56Speaker 04

  Well, her dad's super loaded. Her dad's like a billionaire.

• 30:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 30:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, oil guy.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, something like that.

• 31:00Mark Normand?

  Which also proves the point, you know, you can be rich and still funny.

• 31:04Sam Morril?

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 31:05Mark Normand?

  Everybody thinks you gotta be a fucking prior in a brothel.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  Oh, I think for, I think for stand-up, you need to, it prohibit your work ethic, I feel.

• 31:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  Stand-up, like, she's naturally funny, she'll be funny on screen and sketches, whatever, but like,

• 31:21Sam Morril?

  Well, you wanna work.

• 31:22Speaker 04

  To get good at stand-up, you really have to have a fucking gun to your head.

• 31:25Sam Morril?

  You have to have humility.

• 31:26Mark Normand?

  You gotta be hungry. Yeah, that makes sense.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Cause like, I remember like, you know, somebody like, who had money or whatever, we'd just be, we'd be like, bark in and whatever, and they're like, I'm not doing that. And like, they could bypass a few steps of like, I'm past this.

• 31:36Sam Morril?

  I barked for years. My parents had money, I mean, you know, wasn't.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  It's work ethic.

• 31:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 31:40Mark Normand?

  Ah, yeah.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  They're not you, Sammy.

• 31:43Mark Normand?

  The inner flame.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 31:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 31:44Mark Normand?

  So I just.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  Fighting the dog.

• 31:45Mark Normand?

  I just met this kid, I Show Speed, you ever see?

• 31:48Speaker 04

  Oh, I saw that, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:49Sam Morril?

  That clip was crazy.

• 31:50Mark Normand?

  Crazy clip, uh, but it just shows, this guy's the most famous person on the planet and. He couldn't do stand-up.

• 31:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:59Sam Morril?

  Well, you didn't give him the best advice.

• 32:01Mark Normand?

  No, I was trying to be funny.

• 32:02Sam Morril?

  No, I know, it was hilarious.

• 32:04Mark Normand?

  Great.

• 32:04Sam Morril?

  But then he, but then he really took your advice. I'm like, no, he was kidding.

• 32:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:08Sam Morril?

  Mark was fucking with you.

• 32:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 32:10Sam Morril?

  Look at how many people are watching the stream right here.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  Forty-three million.

• 32:13Sam Morril?

  Forty-three million people watching.

• 32:14Sam Morril?

  How many people hate you up about that?

• 32:15Mark Normand?

  I think I got one follower.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  He wanted to do stand-up?

• 32:18Mark Normand?

  I got a million comments and DMs and all that.

• 32:20Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 32:21Mark Normand?

  And then people would, like, all these blue checks are liking my clip, but I'm like, you would have never liked my clip before.

• 32:26Sam Morril?

  And you, and you might not like my comedy, but, but you like this.

• 32:30Sam Morril?

  I did see a bunch of comics are very salty about this too, in the comments. Did you notice that too?

• 32:35Mark Normand?

  About what?

• 32:36Sam Morril?

  They're like, why would, I've worked so hard to get on this stage and let this guy do a backflip, da-da-da-da-da. I was like, forty.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Forty-three million people watching him walk around.

• 32:42Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  That's why.

• 32:44Mark Normand?

  The police there.

• 32:44Speaker 02

  Wait, who? It's a big deal.

• 32:45Sam Morril?

  You're shocked that entertainment isn't a meritocracy?

• 32:49Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 32:50Sam Morril?

  You're shocked that people?

• 32:51Speaker 02

  It's not like he's getting spots every, every night. He's, he did the, like, it was like a promotional thing, right?

• 32:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he wanted to try it.

• 32:56Speaker 04

  He was on, he was on set for, he was on stage for like eighteen seconds.

• 32:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but people who have huge followings get to cut the line. We watched it when we, I remember there were people with the last name of a famous dude.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 33:06Sam Morril?

  Who got the cut in front of me who weren't funny.

• 33:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:09Sam Morril?

  But they were, they were, they had an in.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  I think I know who you're talking about.

• 33:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there was a couple.

• 33:13Mark Normand?

  Skippy from Family Ties.

• 33:17Mark Normand?

  He did it serious.

• 33:18Sam Morril?

  No, but you had, but you're like, well, you're like, but it's like, you talk about having that in, are, are they gonna have the drive to stick around?

• 33:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, you have to do it. It goes back to the, you have to work.

• 33:27Sam Morril?

  Are they gonna have the drive to be like, I'm gonna tough this out?

• 33:30Speaker 04

  That was just a stunt.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  It's a social thing, yeah. What are you talking about?

• 33:33Mark Normand?

  And I think it helps us because it shows, hey, this billionaire famous guy can't do it. So it actually looks better on us, I think.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, good for the club, you know what I mean? Everything.

• 33:42Mark Normand?

  That's him, Mark Price.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  I always loved Skippy.

• 33:45Mark Normand?

  He did stand-up.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 33:47Mark Normand?

  Wow, look at the hair on that guy.

• 33:48Sam Morril?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:49Mark Normand?

  Holy shit.

• 33:50Sam Morril?

  I never saw that show, dude.

• 33:51Mark Normand?

  I don't think I ever.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  What?

• 33:52Mark Normand?

  Pretty good.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  Want a family type guy?

• 33:53Sam Morril?

  No, I know, I just, you know, some slip through the cracks.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:57Mark Normand?

  They're like a crunchy liberal family and the sons are like a diehard Republican.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was right there, I was, I was at the perfect age when it, when it dropped.

• 34:04Speaker 04

  Norman, was that set up at all, like organized at all, like, hey, no, it was just randomly, just randomly popped in? I mean, I knew that, I think he had it set up with the club, I presume.

• 34:11Mark Normand?

  He's got eighteen guys, lights all over, cameras all over, he had a bunch of riders with him, and one guy was like, "He's about to go on, give him some advice," because I was, he bumped me.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:21Mark Normand?

  And I was like, "Ah," and I slid in the frame, I was like, "Just say the N-word," that was the first thing I thought of.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 34:25Mark Normand?

  And then we riffed a little bit, and then he did it, which I didn't know he would, and then he did a backflip, then he ran off, and that was it. The whole thing lasted thirty-eight seconds.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  Quick thinking, so there's a whole squatter in him, it's not just like the-

• 34:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 04

  They got bodyguards and shit, yeah, it's like, I showed up to the stand, I was like, "Why is there like thirty cops here and cars, lights waving and everything?"

• 34:42Speaker 02

  That would drive me crazy. That I get.

• 34:44Sam Morril?

  The cops just saw a black guy walk in, they're like, "We gotta do something, this is crazy."

• 34:47Mark Normand?

  Well, I was hoping Aaron Berg got shot.

• 34:51Mark Normand?

  You never know, so that's this business.

• 34:53Sam Morril?

  Damn, that is crazy, so he had a ton of security and stuff?

• 34:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:57Sam Morril?

  He's so famous, see, I, I don't, I know who he is, but I don't know, I've never seen anything he's done, I don't think.

• 35:02Speaker 04

  This is all he does, he just streams.

• 35:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it's, so it's YouTube, uh, it's like a YouTube fuck guy, right? Who's the other, who's the other guy? Oh, Twitch.

• 35:11Speaker 04

  I think, I think it's mostly on Twitch.

• 35:12Mark Normand?

  Twitch, yes, Si-Sin, Si-

• 35:14Sam Morril?

  Kai-Sin-A.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  Kai-Sin-A.

• 35:15Sam Morril?

  See, I know the names, but I've never seen any of it.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  It's like a couple of old men.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  I know.

• 35:19Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 35:20Mark Normand?

  Couple of boom-

• 35:21Sam Morril?

  I show speed, what is it?

• 35:22Speaker 04

  Forty-three million subscribers.

• 35:24Sam Morril?

  On YouTube?

• 35:26Speaker 04

  And then there's some open mic'er being like, "He bumped me," it's like, "Shut up." This guy could buy and sell most of Manhattan, let him, let him do a backflip.

• 35:33Mark Normand?

  And he was, he started in his room with eight followers.

• 35:36Sam Morril?

  Sure.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  They all did.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 04

  They all did.

• 35:39Mark Normand?

  Do you think like Royal Rumble guys are like, I had to work hard to get to this stage?

• 35:42Speaker 02

  No, they want in there because they know it's getting eyes on everything.

• 35:45Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you know, everyone has their path. I get, I get being a young comic, feeling that way though.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, we had it.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 35:52Sam Morril?

  Because we were that way and we had that like purity to it. Like, when, I don't, if someone famous who just didn't give a shit about what you give a shit bump, you're like, fuck this guy.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 36:01Sam Morril?

  I get it.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Probably said it about you two at some bar show back in the day.

• 36:04Speaker 04

  Fucking Norman coming in here, cramming into nine spots in one night.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Murdering and I gotta go up after you looking like a dork.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Uh, we were, because we were in the village, we were like, you guys were already in the clubs, but we were like still in like the Village Lantern days. When they started shooting all of those, there was always like TV shows.

• 36:21Sam Morril?

  Like Crashing?

• 36:21Speaker 04

  All, just all, it seemed like there was, it seemed like, I remember we were standing on the corner barking, trying to get a show off. And Pete Holmes was shooting an HBO show about barking, like 13 feet away. And he's like, are you guys barking right now? We're like, yeah, man.

• 36:35Mark Normand?

  Wow, you're like, this is the documentary.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is, this is really, we're really trying to do it.

• 36:39Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  That was always rough, not, you know.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  You're just like watching, like I'm, you're like literally sitting there like, oh, free comedy show. And then they're like, H, Judd Apatow's there. And you're like, I am, it's right there and we are so far away.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  God, I forgot about that. We got Judd Apatow. It was something like a little video village. Yeah.

• 36:55Sam Morril?

  Damn, that was like, those productions were huge.

• 36:58Speaker 02

  Huge.

• 36:58Sam Morril?

  You don't think about that, but you're like, they're shutting down two blocks.

• 37:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  Did you shut down McDougal's, like, you know, yeah, for.

• 37:05Mark Normand?

  They have craft service. They had a guy, a lady with a headset with a clipboard. Hey, you can't go here. I mean, that shit was huge.

• 37:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, not for much longer. Are they shooting shows that way?

• 37:13Speaker 04

  No, that was when like productions were still production.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  It used to be such a bag of mixed emotions, like on, you didn't know it was, when you got down to the village that night, you didn't know that was there. And then that was just like another added thing.

• 37:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:24Sam Morril?

  They shot this thing at the cellar too.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Want and whatever.

• 37:26Sam Morril?

  They shut down the cellar for a while for this. Remember this? Will Arnett, the Bradley Cooper film?

• 37:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's coming out soon, right?

• 37:32Sam Morril?

  It looks like it could be interesting. I mean, it's like, it's like kind of artsy. It's, it doesn't look like it's gonna be funny. It looks like it's gonna be like a drama.

• 37:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm going with low expecta.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  I feel like they miss a lot.

• 37:41Mark Normand?

  How many bad stand-up movies there are. Well, I do love Laura Dern.

• 37:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Are we get, is she doing the pod or what?

• 37:47Speaker 04

  They're getting the Dern.

• 37:48Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 37:49Sam Morril?

  Let's cut the Dern.

• 37:50Mark Normand?

  Whoa. Hell, yeah. The Derninator.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Salakus are the Hollywood connections.

• 37:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, that was a Salakus.

• 37:57Mark Normand?

  I was digging through a crack and-

• 37:59Sam Morril?

  Matt got her.

• 38:00Mark Normand?

  Alright, can we go back to Rodney? I'm sick of seeing my dumb mug next to his handsome, uh, white teeth. There we go.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  That's fun though.

• 38:08Mark Normand?

  But yeah, and remember when you'd see Crashing being shot and you're like, maybe I just hang around, they'll throw me in it? I always had that thought.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  Did you ever get on it?

• 38:14Mark Normand?

  I never got on it.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  Wait, you were thinking that, oh yeah, that would make sense, alright.

• 38:18Sam Morril?

  I, I was on, but they cut me out. I was in, uh, I was in, I was in the, but it didn't suck that much, cause they, we, I was in the roast episode. And, uh, I guess Pete Holmes' character and his girlfriend roast each other and it's like, you know, they're both comics. And it was roast battles and roast battles like popping off.

• 38:34Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 38:34Sam Morril?

  And, but they gave us a writing credit, cause I fed them a couple lines. I gave a line that she used.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 38:41Sam Morril?

  I remember being like, that was a pretty good fucking line I gave them. So they paid me, they paid us as writers for that episode.

• 38:45Mark Normand?

  That's pretty good.

• 38:46Sam Morril?

  We got a nice check. Yeah, I think the line I gave, I think it was Jamie Lee, I gave her a line where like, she was like, say something mean about Pete being religious or something, or something like, him being cheated on by his wife, that was the start of the show, so it was like, something along the lines of like, uh, Pete, uh, Jesus isn't coming back and neither is your ex-wife. They both got nailed and are in a better place now.

• 39:04Mark Normand?

  Hey! That's a great joke. You wrote that on the spot?

• 39:06Sam Morril?

  I, I, they would like come up with a couple, so I came up with that.

• 39:09Mark Normand?

  It would've been worse.

• 39:10Sam Morril?

  I fed it to them. And then Mateo and I roasted each other on stage. And we, we had some good lines on each other, it was pretty fun. But, uh, yeah, they cut us out, but it was, it was, you know, it's all good.

• 39:19Mark Normand?

  But you had to sit down and write those.

• 39:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 39:21Mark Normand?

  That's a lot of, a little bit of work.

• 39:22Sam Morril?

  I wrote a little bit. But it was fun.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  No, I was gonna say, the most surreal thing with, uh, you know, the movies and stuff like that was, I worked at a, uh, Greek cafe on the corner of Bedford and Morton in the West Village. When Louis was, I guess, lived over there. And he was filming the show at the time, and I would see him like actually walking his kids to school.

• 39:38Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  And then I would see him later filming that same thing. In the production.

• 39:43Sam Morril?

  With actors.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 39:44Sam Morril?

  Like girls playing his kids.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  I would see him living his life and filming his life at the same time, it was, it was so surreal.

• 39:49Sam Morril?

  It's kinda the dream, he's kinda, you're like, this guy did it.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  I was so into the show at the time though.

• 39:53Sam Morril?

  Me too.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  It was like, it was nuts.

• 39:55Sam Morril?

  That show was inspiring.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, very. The three episodes of, uh, Trying to Get Late Night.

• 40:00Sam Morril?

  Dude, I was literally just gonna bring up-

• 40:01Speaker 02

  I watched it like every six weeks.

• 40:03Sam Morril?

  I was gonna bring up the David Lynch thing.

• 40:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:05Sam Morril?

  That was one of the funniest things.

• 40:06Mark Normand?

  When he goes, uh, "Be funny right now", and he goes, "Doot doot doot doot."

• 40:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:11Mark Normand?

  I thought you were a newsman. You're a con, I'm a comedian.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Comedian, I thought you were a newsman. Comedy's about timing, son. You gotta get him, you gotta tell him.

• 40:21Speaker 04

  And you gotta keep him.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  And he just doesn't say anything.

• 40:23Sam Morril?

  It all starts because he gets bumped on Leno or something.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Yes, yeah.

• 40:27Sam Morril?

  Tom Cruise went long.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  No, Tom Cruise wouldn't show up because they got him on a motorcycle.

• 40:31Sam Morril?

  That's what it was.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, he doesn't like surprises.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  Yes, the best thing about that. I tried to ask Louis about this after we did, after we had him on, but I totally botched it and he looked at me like I was an idiot.

• 40:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, he does that.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  The Gary Marshall fucking, and I couldn't articulate-

• 40:45Speaker 04

  I gotta push back. He gave it to you. We had a good conversation about it.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  We did?

• 40:49Speaker 04

  Yeah. I think you were just freaking out. He gave, he gave it to you. He was like, yeah, I was like, he really-

• 40:53Speaker 02

  I was like trying to articulate in like a non-guber way of like what that meant and like, you know, what that means, you know? Just the way Gary Marshall does that speech to him and like tells him, the line-

• 41:03Speaker 04

  Oh, I can get Jerry's thing.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  You're a circling failure in a rapidly decaying orbit. That is always, always stuck with me. That's every, that's all of it. You know what I mean?

• 41:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Crazy. A circling failure in a rapidly-

• 41:14Sam Morril?

  It's crazy when legends talk about it like that way because I remember reading an interview with Conan and him being like, this, when I'm dead, it's like, no one's gonna think of me. And you're like, Conan thinks that way?

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 41:25Sam Morril?

  None of this means anything.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  But it's as far as like a young comic seeing their, you know, the inexperienced guy, seeing that fucking, man, those, those episodes are great.

• 41:33Sam Morril?

  Well, that show would be so funny one minute and then it would have these-

• 41:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, serious.

• 41:37Sam Morril?

  Kind of poignant moments where you're like, it would, I mean, dude, the episode in the Hamptons where he does a gig with Jerry.

• 41:42Speaker 02

  When he gets the astronaut's daughter?

• 41:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and he accidentally punches her.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:48Sam Morril?

  That's one of the funniest episodes.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  When he's on the phone with Jerry, oh, what do you think? It looks like me getting involved in this situation.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Jerry's such a prick. It's so good.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  He's so great.

• 41:56Speaker 04

  So perfect. So perfect.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 04

  A Hampton suit, tux, black, you know.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  He's the billionaires and trillionaires of the Hamptons. There's trillionaires? I don't know, maybe.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  Didn't he bang Joan Rivers in one?

• 42:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 42:10Speaker 04

  Or did they bang? I know, I remember.

• 42:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, no, she reluctantly was like, you got it, fine.

• 42:14Speaker 04

  But that was, there was a, there was, as a young comic, there was great lessons in that where like, even in that one where he was like shitting on the casino and it was in his contract, he's not supposed to shit on the casino. And she's like, who the fuck are you?

• 42:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and she was like, what's it-

• 42:26Speaker 04

  To take this guy's money and then- Shit on him like.

• 42:28Sam Morril?

  And then to not know the manager's name. That was the other thing. She's like, you don't know, you work with him and you don't know his name? You're like, yeah, that had lessons for comedy.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  There was moments where you're like, I find myself, and you're like, oh, you know, what the fuck? I was asked to be here, be a fucking professional and do your job.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 42:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  Louis goes on stage in the Hamptons in a security jacket.

• 42:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:46Sam Morril?

  Cause he forgets the blazer? Yeah, that was great.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  Shows up in a t-shirt and jeans and like a yellow cap.

• 42:50Sam Morril?

  By the way, I've, I've been there on private event things where they're like, that's what you wore? And I'm like, I, I don't know.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 42:57Sam Morril?

  I was like, fuck, I, yeah, oh shit, what are these?

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Patagonia, what are you talking about?

• 43:01Mark Normand?

  It's gonna be me. I have the same tour manager as Louis, so I was just in Akron doing some gigs. And he was like, man, I was watching Louis's new hour, it's unbelievable, he's such a genius. That guy, watch him fix jokes and make it work. And I'm kinda like, yeah, my two hours, I'm shooting in a week. And he's like, the Thai food's here.

• 43:19Sam Morril?

  Remember one time, one time we were watching Dave Attell at the Comedy Cellar? And Chappelle leaned over our shoulders to just watch Attell. And Mark turns to Chappelle and he goes, uh, do you like Dave? And Chappelle goes, yeah, he's probably my favorite. And we're like, Mark and I were both like, whoa. Like, this is pretty cool.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  That's really cool.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:39Mark Normand?

  Very exciting.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Cause all those guys that you just like, just tickle, you know, you see, you're like, damn.

• 43:43Sam Morril?

  Well, we're just, we're just nerding out. We're just like, this is crazy.

• 43:45Speaker 02

  Todd Barry gets me like that all the time.

• 43:47Speaker 04

  Still?

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Oh dude.

• 43:49Speaker 04

  Oh Todd?

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Ah dude, he'll hit, he'll hit a couple, I'll be in the back dying.

• 43:52Sam Morril?

  Dude, so I was with Todd last night, he broke five fucking ribs.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  He did?

• 43:56Sam Morril?

  Todd broke five ribs, so he was, he was walking with a walker. We run into Amy Sedaris on the street.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 44:01Sam Morril?

  And she goes, oh my god, Todd. And, and she's nice at first, but then she goes, by the way, that walker, not doing great stuff for your age. And I was like, oh my god, you just got zinged by Amy Sedaris.

• 44:13Sam Morril?

  He laughed, it probably hurt a little bit, but he laughed.

• 44:15Mark Normand?

  How'd she look?

• 44:15Sam Morril?

  She looks good.

• 44:16Mark Normand?

  She's, dude, she was cute. She never said shit for how cute she was, yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  Now I'll give you that for sure.

• 44:20Mark Normand?

  Very cute in her day, had a crazy rack. Big fan.

• 44:25Sam Morril?

  What do we, so are these peeves or what are these? Toast.

• 44:29Mark Normand?

  Toast?

• 44:29Sam Morril?

  So this is stuff people, yeah, so we peeve a lot in here, as people know. Mark and I were like, we should be more positive. We don't always have to bond over negativity. We could bond over some stuff we all like as well.

• 44:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, things that go unappreciated.

• 44:41Sam Morril?

  Like a toast, like, oh, this is always, I mean, I got some peeves I wrote down, too.

• 44:44Mark Normand?

  You're saying a toast?

• 44:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah, like a toast, like, to this, I like this.

• 44:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  Big man's got bread on the brain.

• 44:51Sam Morril?

  I got a peeve, actually, though, can I do a quick peeve?

• 44:53Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 44:53Sam Morril?

  People who write you annoyingly long texts and then write "thanks" at the bottom. Because I think "thanks" as a substitute is "go fuck yourself."

• 45:01Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 45:02Sam Morril?

  They do it in emails, too, where they're like, it's like, it's like bless your heart, almost. Where it's like, where they're just like, "I can't do this, I can't do this, sorry about this." Thanks.

• 45:10Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  I don't understand that language at all, and I am so, I come across so bad, and I have no idea.

• 45:16Mark Normand?

  He's so...

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what they say.

• 45:18Sam Morril?

  Oh, you're a bad texter?

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Bad texter.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  Dude, a lot of dot, dot, dots, a lot of like, a lot of like, he makes you re-explain, everybody's on the same page, you're in a group text, and you're like, hey, something, and he goes, huh? And you're like, I just laid it out, and like, where's the, there's no like, trying to meet you in the middle.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Big voice to text guy.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  Voice to text.

• 45:38Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 45:38Sam Morril?

  That's a very LA move. The LA people do it because they're always driving.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can't type all that shit.

• 45:45Mark Normand?

  It's a lot to type.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  Ah, you kidding me?

• 45:46Sam Morril?

  You're not, you're not...

• 45:47Mark Normand?

  I don't do it, because it never gets it right, I talk weird, or my voice...

• 45:50Sam Morril?

  No, but he's saying the voice...

• 45:51Speaker 04

  Oh, he, no, it never picks it up correctly, and you, and then you have to go, what? I wasn't...

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Are you mean the voice messages?

• 45:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  I do get them once in a while, that is pretty Hollywood, I like that.

• 46:01Mark Normand?

  No, I'm talking about...

• 46:01Speaker 02

  Why don't you just give them a call?

• 46:02Mark Normand?

  Voice it, it spells it out.

• 46:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what I mean.

• 46:04Mark Normand?

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:05Sam Morril?

  Oh, I thought you meant the voice memo.

• 46:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, those I don't like.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  That's very European.

• 46:09Sam Morril?

  Is it?

• 46:09Speaker 04

  My wife does it for like, she'll be like, I got an 18-minute voicemail, voice note from whoever, crazy.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  18 minutes?

• 46:15Speaker 04

  That dude is like...

• 46:16Sam Morril?

  They don't cut off?

• 46:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 46:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Not in WhatsApp, I don't think.

• 46:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, WhatsApp?

• 46:20Speaker 04

  They're all in WhatsApp.

• 46:21Mark Normand?

  WhatsApp's a whole nother niche.

• 46:22Sam Morril?

  I can't even go in there, I can't do it. I have like two foreign friends, and I'm like, I think this is it.

• 46:26Speaker 04

  That's all they talk in.

• 46:27Sam Morril?

  I think it's over.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  I'm in multiple WhatsApp groups with like, 25 people that are...

• 46:33Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 46:33Speaker 04

  I don't even open it.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  I always thought it was for...

• 46:35Sam Morril?

  You know.

• 46:36Mark Normand?

  I see. Hookers.

• 46:37Speaker 04

  Hookers. She was a hooker.

• 46:39Mark Normand?

  You ever have this one? You ever have a guy go, can we get a photo? And you gotta selfie with some guy, and you realize he's on Snapchat? And you're like, where's that go?

• 46:47Speaker 04

  Yeah. I don't even...

• 46:48Mark Normand?

  Is this going out to the world?

• 46:48Speaker 04

  That doesn't exist to me, yeah.

• 46:49Mark Normand?

  I don't even fuck with Snapchat.

• 46:50Sam Morril?

  How about the guy who wants a selfie, but he puts the phone down here? I'm like, what, we have to get her double chins in here?

• 46:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, that guy.

• 46:55Sam Morril?

  Hold it, hold it regular.

• 46:56Mark Normand?

  He's clueless. You gotta go up. Everybody knows.

• 46:59Sam Morril?

  Women never make that mistake.

• 47:00Mark Normand?

  No, no. You gotta hile.

• 47:03Sam Morril?

  What, so what are the toasts we got? So, oh, a clean, healthy poop. That's a toast.

• 47:06Mark Normand?

  That's a great one.

• 47:07Sam Morril?

  That's, I love a clean, healthy poop.

• 47:08Mark Normand?

  I love a good toast.

• 47:09Sam Morril?

  Don't take a lot of them, but I appreciate them.

• 47:10Mark Normand?

  I'll add to that and go one wiper. You ever wipe once, go, that was it, baby.

• 47:14Sam Morril?

  Like a miracle.

• 47:15Mark Normand?

  Shit.

• 47:16Sam Morril?

  It's crazy. I tell you, if you ever have a 12 wiper and you're like, how long is this gonna go?

• 47:20Mark Normand?

  I hate the 12.

• 47:21Sam Morril?

  It's like Lord of the Rings. You know that's coming the second you get involved, you're like, fuck.

• 47:24Mark Normand?

  Yes! It's like a five napkin burger.

• 47:26Speaker 04

  Coming out too slow. You're like, this is bad.

• 47:28Mark Normand?

  Uh, Chris Pratt had a great joke on, uh, Parks and Rec. He's like, it's like, I got a permanent marker coming out of my ass.

• 47:33Speaker 04

  When's it stop?

• 47:34Mark Normand?

  Something there.

• 47:35Sam Morril?

  It's brutal.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  He had a lot of really good jokes on that show. They like made it into the lexicon that I didn't know were from him.

• 47:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. You ever seen that clip of him, uh, with the Kardashian joke? It did the rounds. It got billions of views, but, uh, it's them blooper reel. And she goes, uh, uh, Kim Kardashian, she's coming back. And he goes, I saw that video. She did have a lot of come on her back.

• 47:55Sam Morril?

  No, yeah.

• 47:56Mark Normand?

  And I think in that setting, it's like NBC, yeah, yeah, yeah. Offerman's like, ah! It's great.

• 48:01Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 48:01Speaker 04

  He was so funny in there.

• 48:03Sam Morril?

  That made the show?

• 48:04Mark Normand?

  No, no, no. It was blooper.

• 48:05Sam Morril?

  Oh. I was like, damn.

• 48:07Mark Normand?

  No chance.

• 48:07Sam Morril?

  It was on the Christmas special.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  Can I grab another beer?

• 48:11Sam Morril?

  Grab another beer, dude.

• 48:11Mark Normand?

  I heard in the cooler, baby. Or you can have a hot, hot one out of the...

• 48:14Speaker 04

  Do you have any garage beer out there?

• 48:16Mark Normand?

  Never heard of it.

• 48:17Speaker 04

  Contractually obligated.

• 48:18Sam Morril?

  Is garage, is it good stuff?

• 48:20Speaker 04

  It's actually really good. I had it before, uh, this ever happened.

• 48:24Mark Normand?

  Beer. I'm okay.

• 48:26Sam Morril?

  I'm good, yeah. I'm gonna try two sets later. Right.

• 48:29Speaker 04

  Can you throw me the bottle opener?

• 48:30Sam Morril?

  Sure.

• 48:31Speaker 04

  It's actually really, it's a really good light beer, yeah.

• 48:33Mark Normand?

  I love a light beer.

• 48:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah, fantastic.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  Love light.

• 48:35Sam Morril?

  Have you talked to the Kelseys yet?

• 48:36Speaker 04

  No. Uh, we met them, we met Jason briefly at an event that we were, we were at.

• 48:40Sam Morril?

  And you're big, you're big Eagles guys.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  Big Birds guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:43Sam Morril?

  That must've been kinda cool. Cool. Very cool.

• 48:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  It was kinda hit Foley with the, hey, good to see you again. We never met.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Waiting for the wedding.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  He's a pro though, because it's like dude, then immediately, it was an event for the band.

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  Immediately, everybody's just like, take, read this book, and he's like.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  They knew he was coming to this town like, it seemed like weeks before.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  And even the, even the places where, you know, he wasn't technically gonna be, they were all packed.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  And it was all kids, you know, autographs and stuff like that.

• 49:10Speaker 04

  Really?

• 49:11Speaker 02

  And then he does, he gets over there, this is pretty crazy about as far as like work ethic, he gets over to the, um, uh, the premiere of the short film that they did, well, you know, comedy thing for, for the brand, uh, really funny. And he does like press before that, he's meeting people there, he's meeting people there, watches the thing, and then he's doing stuff for it afterwards.

• 49:29Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  They had an after-party at this bar.

• 49:31Speaker 04

  It's like a 15-hour, wow.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  But the bar, it was like kinda open, so there was literally just, it was packed with people just waiting for him to walk in. And he came in, and I don't think this was really scheduled, I think it was supposed to be like just a chill after-party. He comes in, he comes up the steps, stands, turns right around, bang, let's go.

• 49:48Speaker 04

  Kids.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Meeting great kids.

• 49:49Speaker 04

  That's the thing about like, you know.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Bang kids, what is he, John Reap? Alright.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  Is he drinking?

• 49:54Speaker 02

  Call back.

• 49:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was drinking.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was having a beer.

• 49:56Mark Normand?

  That helps get through it, yeah, a little bit, but that's hard.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Just to keep going on and on and bang, bang, bang, just, you know, with a smile on his face, pretty cool.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  Well, like, but with like bigger, you know, we've been around like, super famous comics where they're like, hey, what's up? Like, they have to do it, but it's always with like guys who look like us, like, ah, big fan, cool, can I get a picture? Yeah, this is like kids, and you're like, you see like, he's like talking to like a nine-year-old and he's like, hey, what's up bud? And you're just like, man, you're fucking, you have to be on all the time, just cool as shit.

• 50:24Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 50:24Speaker 02

  He seems like he's got a.

• 50:25Mark Normand?

  One kid, you're done.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  He seems like he's got a good personality.

• 50:28Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, he's the man.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  We saw, we saw Burt do that as well, we did, we did Chicago with Burt, uh, the United Center. Wow. He had like a bunch of stuff before it, then Burt does, he works out, he goes up and does two hours and gets off that, and then we had a, we met with the guys from the Blackhawks, and when he's in there, he's like, he's on.

• 50:48Mark Normand?

  He's on.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  They're like standing there like watching.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  They're like, they're sitting there going, we're talking to the machine.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  You, you.

• 50:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's working.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:56Mark Normand?

  And he likes it, he's not like, oh, we gotta go do this.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  No, he loves it, but I'm just saying, man, it's such, the work they put in is crazy good.

• 51:02Mark Normand?

  You know who has that, doesn't get his due? Adam Ray.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  Oh dude, those meet and greets after the fucking Dr. Phil shows?

• 51:09Mark Normand?

  Takes half an hour, forty-five to get that fucking bullshit on, the mustache, the wig.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:13Mark Normand?

  Then he goes out there, zingin', zangin', in the crowd. Then he does the guest interview, another guest, another guest, back in the crowd, riffin', riffin'. Then he does a two-hour meet and greet, and then he goes drinking it after.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  Crazy.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:25Sam Morril?

  Well, you need a drink after all that.

• 51:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:28Sam Morril?

  That's when, that's when you realize like booze is like, oh, I fuck, the, the, the, first few days of the road, I'm like, I don't need a drink. Then after a couple, I'm like, I need to get fucking hammered.

• 51:36Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  Just defeat something. The night they did Kill Tony for the, right in Madison Square Garden last year, he showed up to our studio, we were doing something with him in the morning, in costume.

• 51:44Speaker 04

  At, dude, like, I mean, what, Dr. Fucking, Kill Tony went on at, you know, eight o'clock or whatever? He was at our studio at noon, full fucking makeup.

• 51:53Mark Normand?

  Wow, what a beast.

• 51:54Speaker 04

  Doing pots.

• 51:55Sam Morril?

  Daniel Day-Lewis.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Dude, that, the Tony one's crazy good.

• 51:59Sam Morril?

  Damn, oh my god, that was incredible.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Incredible.

• 52:01Sam Morril?

  That was.

• 52:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I was in awe, watching it, I was.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  Tony Caruso's all right, I love him.

• 52:06Mark Normand?

  I was three feet away from the guy, and you're like, how's he getting his mouth to do that?

• 52:09Speaker 04

  I just saw one, I don't know if it's older, or it just, I don't, you know, I, forgive me if it is, but he's the magician, did you ever see that one?

• 52:15Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 52:16Speaker 04

  I don't know, it's, I feel like it's older because it, I feel like it might have been bigger.

• 52:21Mark Normand?

  You know what's adorable?

• 52:22Speaker 04

  But, he does a magician act.

• 52:25Speaker 02

  Bruce Robins.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  Where his like hairs brushed back, it's very like David Copperfield.

• 52:29Mark Normand?

  Wow, well, you know what, I think there's something to be said for.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Must be older.

• 52:32Mark Normand?

  Backhanded, but there's something to be said for making it a little later.

• 52:36Speaker 04

  Sure, you're ready.

• 52:36Mark Normand?

  Because you appreciate it.

• 52:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:37Mark Normand?

  You're ready, and you're like, I'll do whatever I gotta do to hold on to it.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  He's a road dog.

• 52:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was a road dog, he opened for everybody, he was always in LA.

• 52:44Sam Morril?

  He's always a good hang though, he's always a good.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, it has to be Bruce Robins, that's him, that's him in the middle with the bleach blonde, pomo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:50Mark Normand?

  He's a talent.

• 52:51Sam Morril?

  Everyone's got, everyone's got a lane.

• 52:53Speaker 04

  And the nicest.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:54Mark Normand?

  Sweet guy.

• 52:55Sam Morril?

  You figure out your lanes, you know?

• 52:57Mark Normand?

  He figured it out all right, who knew it would be a fucking Dr. Phil pick?

• 53:00Speaker 02

  It's all right.

• 53:01Mark Normand?

  Crazy, this biz.

• 53:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, there he is.

• 53:03Sam Morril?

  Goes to show, you don't know what's gonna pop.

• 53:05Mark Normand?

  Mm-mm. Oh yeah. I mean, John Reap now is very famous.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  These are twist offs.

• 53:10Speaker 04

  Oh, are they twist offs?

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, John Reap, that's crazy.

• 53:13Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 53:15Speaker 04

  You probably don't even know who he is.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  Who's John Reap?

• 53:16Speaker 04

  He's a older comic.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 53:19Speaker 04

  Um.

• 53:19Sam Morril?

  He's great with kids. No.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  No, he just got called for pedophilia.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  What?

• 53:23Sam Morril?

  Well, pedophilia, child porn.

• 53:25Speaker 04

  I know, I know, I know. My apologies.

• 53:27Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 53:28Sam Morril?

  Yes. I mean, look, neither are great.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  He's one last comic standing.

• 53:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 53:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're really, you're really making a delineation between the two.

• 53:35Mark Normand?

  We're splitting, uh, kids hairs here, but yeah. Look at that, ten counts.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  What does that mean? He had ten?

• 53:41Mark Normand?

  Ten kids? I don't know. Count them.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 53:44Sam Morril?

  Can we make the text a little bigger?

• 53:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy. Those are two episodes we're doing on Reapy.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  Oh, then, no, you can pull back, of course.

• 53:51Mark Normand?

  John Creep.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  Gotta make it.

• 53:54Sam Morril?

  We finished the last episode and Mark's like, creep, it was there the whole time.

• 53:58Mark Normand?

  At least I got it out.

• 54:00Speaker 04

  I love how you're like, we don't need to do this. Perfect line.

• 54:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, here we go.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, jammed up. He was, uh, I think he, I think he went-

• 54:07Speaker 02

  Location linked to the IP cyber address from, from the cyber tip.

• 54:12Mark Normand?

  Eee. Clear your history, boys.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  Or don't watch it, don't look at child porn.

• 54:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's the big one. But, uh...

• 54:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you like what you like.

• 54:22Sam Morril?

  Numerous comedy specials.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, I remember, I remember watching that season live.

• 54:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  And then he went back to like his hometown, he had, he did a bit in his hometown that always made me and my buddy laugh.

• 54:33Mark Normand?

  He was funny. He had a big closer where he, he talked about driving up in like a Camaro and he would act it out and he had the music play. It was huge. It would murder. Can't remember what it was.

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Dude, a closer with it has a musical cue?

• 54:46Sam Morril?

  I always resented it so much.

• 54:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:48Speaker 04

  I mean, I hate it, but when it's, I mean, like, I think of like the, uh-

• 54:51Mark Normand?

  When you saw it live, you were like-

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Who was it? Cedric has one that's like where he's parking the spaceship or whatever?

• 54:56Sam Morril?

  Oh, no, I only resented it if they were, if they were like a middle act and you had to follow it.

• 54:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 55:00Sam Morril?

  I gotta follow a, a song and dance thing with-

• 55:03Mark Normand?

  Sure. I know.

• 55:04Sam Morril?

  Just change the energy.

• 55:05Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  Very laugh house.

• 55:07Mark Normand?

  It's like the guy in The Cellar who does the rap. I'm like, put that fucker laugh!

• 55:10Sam Morril?

  He is, he's always laugh.

• 55:11Mark Normand?

  Okay, good.

• 55:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah. No, she's not making anyone follow that.

• 55:14Mark Normand?

  Eh, I feel like I've seen him in the middle. I think somebody got a bug in her ear.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Who does the rap?

• 55:19Speaker 04

  Uh, that British guy, right?

• 55:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, British guy.

• 55:21Speaker 04

  I don't know his name.

• 55:22Mark Normand?

  Cool dude. I can't think of his name. Shit.

• 55:24Sam Morril?

  Just anytime it's something-

• 55:25Mark Normand?

  Chris Turner.

• 55:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, anytime it's something that's not stand-up, you're like, you're just putting it, but yeah, they, she doesn't make anyone follow them.

• 55:31Mark Normand?

  All right, good.

• 55:33Sam Morril?

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• 55:54Mark Normand?

  They make great, so I got a suede jacket, and I just got a raincoat, and they're both killer.

• 55:58Sam Morril?

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• 56:43Sam Morril?

  But it's not a bad time to buy some Chubbies Original Stretch Shorts either. I love Chubbies. You're wearing them right now?

• 56:48Mark Normand?

  I love Chubbies, yeah.

• 56:49Sam Morril?

  Chubbies is great, yeah. I'm wearing them all the time. I like the bathing suits, too. They're killer. Got some great stretch pants there.

• 56:55Mark Normand?

  And polos, too.

• 56:55Sam Morril?

  Whether you're layering up for tailgates, lounging through lazy Sundays, or just leaning fully into fall comfort, Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving We Might Be Drunk fans $10 off your order with the code DRUNKS at chubbyshorts.com. That's code DRUNKS at chubbyshorts.com. Support the show and show your thighs some respect with Chubbies.

• 57:19Mark Normand?

  Here, here. Okay.

• 57:20Sam Morril?

  Here's our favorite.

• 57:21Mark Normand?

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• 57:23Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 57:24Mark Normand?

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• 58:09Sam Morril?

  Hmm, John Reeve. Bummer. A toast to not being a pedophile. That's my toast.

• 58:14Mark Normand?

  Here, here.

• 58:14Sam Morril?

  Hey, I'm really good. Hey, we are lucky. It's like Mark's joke.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Who told the story about, I can't remember where I saw this, but it was a guy. Uh, I can't remember, I'm gonna butcher it, but it was.

• 58:25Mark Normand?

  Mick Jagger.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  No, it was a guy who was a, he was dying of cancer or something like that, and like, they could've saved him. He was like, "I wanna die." And he told, he told the person, he's like, "I've been attracted to children."

• 58:37Sam Morril?

  Greg Stone.

• 58:38Mark Normand?

  No.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 58:39Sam Morril?

  No, he told Greg Stone this, I think. It was when Greg, when Greg was a nurse.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Yes, it was Greg Stone. Yeah, Greg Stone.

• 58:44Sam Morril?

  Greg is not, Greg is not attracted to children.

• 58:46Mark Normand?

  Cover that up.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  That, that's, that's so crazy. It's Stoney who said that. That is.

• 58:51Sam Morril?

  Stone slowly puts a pillow over the guy's face. He's fucking.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  You know, did you ever see, did you ever hear this?

• 58:56Mark Normand?

  I don't think so.

• 58:57Sam Morril?

  He's told me this.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, Stoney would tell.

• 59:00Mark Normand?

  I think that's a hero. If you're attracted to kids and don't act on it, that's better than a guy who's not attracted.

• 59:05Sam Morril?

  Hero's a bit big.

• 59:06Mark Normand?

  Well.

• 59:07Sam Morril?

  He's like, "I wanna fuck kids." Mark's like, "Get him a cape, this guy." Who's the Purple Heart?

• 59:12Speaker 02

  Never did it.

• 59:12Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 59:13Speaker 02

  He's like, "I've gotten to the end, I wanna get outta here."

• 59:15Mark Normand?

  Wow, good for him. That kid earns a medal.

• 59:18Sam Morril?

  No, it is, it is good he never did anything.

• 59:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:20Sam Morril?

  But hero's a bit much, I think.

• 59:22Mark Normand?

  Alright, key to the city.

• 59:23Sam Morril?

  Key to the city.

• 59:24Mark Normand?

  Give him a day.

• 59:25Sam Morril?

  As long as it doesn't get in any schools.

• 59:26Mark Normand?

  Speaking of cancer, how pumped are you guys? What? With it's John Candy Doc. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was just watching it.

• 59:33Sam Morril?

  Did he die of cancer?

• 59:34Speaker 02

  What? No! Heart attack.

• 59:37Mark Normand?

  Ah, that makes more sense.

• 59:38Speaker 04

  He's skydiving her.

• 59:41Sam Morril?

  God, he was, uh, yeah, it looks incredible.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  He died in Mexico?

• 59:43Sam Morril?

  Oh, man.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  He was filming a movie.

• 59:45Sam Morril?

  Um.

• 59:46Mark Normand?

  I almost sent it to you.

• 59:46Sam Morril?

  Oh, Vida sent it to me.

• 59:48Mark Normand?

  Heart attack, you called it.

• 59:49Sam Morril?

  Well, he was burning the candle hard at both ends.

• 59:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:52Sam Morril?

  But goddamn, he was so funny.

• 59:54Mark Normand?

  I mean, he killed every role.

• 59:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:56Mark Normand?

  He's always great. He's hilarious. He's in all the best comics.

• 59:58Sam Morril?

  Plane's Trains really showed his range.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  Man.

• 1:00:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  One of my, like, honest idols. Love him.

• 1:00:04Sam Morril?

  The fact that he could be so annoying and then you kind of just like feel for him so much the next moment. That was like.

• 1:00:10Mark Normand?

  I like me.

• 1:00:10Sam Morril?

  That's a hard fucking thing to be like, like, I hate this guy. And then a minute later, you're like, he's a nice guy.

• 1:00:17Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:00:17Sam Morril?

  I'm a piece of shit. Like, he'd make you hate you.

• 1:00:20Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:00:21Sam Morril?

  For judging him and you're like, oh, that's like skill as an actor and as a comedian, you know?

• 1:00:25Mark Normand?

  And don't slough on, uh, John Hughes.

• 1:00:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and Steve Martin, who's a great prick.

• 1:00:31Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:00:32Sam Morril?

  Steve Martin, dude, Steve Martin in the eighties is insane.

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  Forget about it.

• 1:00:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. But he could do a drama, too. He's in JFK.

• 1:00:40Sam Morril?

  That's right.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  You're dead as that crab salad, my man. He was awesome in that.

• 1:00:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  He had those thick Roy Orbison sunglasses on. He was pouring sweat.

• 1:00:47Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. Nothing worse than sweating when you're eating.

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  In the world of, uh, comedian docs.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Really did.

• 1:00:56Sam Morril?

  Hey, a toast to a good crab salad.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:58Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 1:00:58Sam Morril?

  I love a good crab salad. Hey, crab salad.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  Not too much mayo.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  Did you ever watch the Amazing Jonathan one?

• 1:01:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:05Sam Morril?

  No, I heard.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  That's insane. Well, like, they were shooting two simultaneously. He was pinning one against the other.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  Who?

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  And smoking crack.

• 1:01:12Mark Normand?

  Well, he's kept.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  Who was smoking crack?

• 1:01:14Mark Normand?

  Amazing.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  The Amazing Jonathan.

• 1:01:15Sam Morril?

  The magician.

• 1:01:16Speaker 04

  I'm, because I remember watching his Comedy Central Presents as a kid.

• 1:01:20Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:01:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, I remember. He was incredible.

• 1:01:22Mark Normand?

  He was hilarious.

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  And he was doing, he got diagnosed with some, I think that might, I think it might have been a big law, I don't know. There was, you'd have to go back and like really watch it. He's telling like 50 different stories.

• 1:01:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:32Speaker 04

  And narratives while all smoking crack.

• 1:01:35Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 1:01:35Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  And then like they're showing him smoke crack.

• 1:01:37Mark Normand?

  Yep, yep.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  And then he's lying to like other. Documentary. Documentary team finds out there's another team shooting a documentary on him. Mid-documentary. It's really good.

• 1:01:48Sam Morril?

  I've said it once, I'll say it again. If everything in this country worked as good as crack, it'd be a lot better off.

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:01:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, hear, hear.

• 1:01:55Speaker 04

  It does, it is bad in a thousand, I guess.

• 1:01:57Mark Normand?

  We had, uh, David Cross on and he did crack once.

• 1:02:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:01Mark Normand?

  Right when I smoked it, he goes, "I get it. I get why it's so popular." You feel great.

• 1:02:06Sam Morril?

  Mm-hmm. That's not what you wanna feel. When you, when you try to dick.

• 1:02:09Mark Normand?

  I don't know about that.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  A little bit of crack, huh, boy?

• 1:02:12Mark Normand?

  Hunter Biden, he's on next week.

• 1:02:14Sam Morril?

  I would like him on.

• 1:02:15Mark Normand?

  He was, I'd love him.

• 1:02:16Sam Morril?

  That guy's got stories.

• 1:02:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:02:17Sam Morril?

  He did Maron. Let's, hey, Hunter, come on. Yeah.

• 1:02:20Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  He's making the, he did that, uh, that dude, Channel 5 or whatever.

• 1:02:23Mark Normand?

  Andrew Kelly.

• 1:02:24Speaker 04

  Woo! I like that kid.

• 1:02:26Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:02:27Speaker 02

  Had some serious business right there.

• 1:02:29Sam Morril?

  I would have Hunter on here, that'd be fun.

• 1:02:30Mark Normand?

  I would love to have Hunter, the hookers alone.

• 1:02:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Charge card.

• 1:02:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah. There he is. Hands, dude.

• 1:02:38Sam Morril?

  Hold on, that'd be a great name for the doc, Crack Hunter Biden.

• 1:02:41Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 1:02:42Sam Morril?

  Find out what's going on. Uh, not bad, right?

• 1:02:44Mark Normand?

  Case wide open.

• 1:02:44Sam Morril?

  I don't think he'd appreciate it, but.

• 1:02:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Gotta hand it to him, only crack had to have a laptop and never sell it.

• 1:02:49Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:02:52Speaker 04

  I mean, what a wild, I mean, that's insane.

• 1:02:55Sam Morril?

  Been there.

• 1:02:56Mark Normand?

  Definitely. The Super 8, after a night out.

• 1:02:58Sam Morril?

  Or the, just the head in the toilet where you're like, "I'm never doing this again." Cut to six hours later, like, "I could have one."

• 1:03:03Mark Normand?

  I'll do a Bloody Mary.

• 1:03:04Sam Morril?

  Hey, what's one?

• 1:03:05Speaker 04

  Gotta get my head on straight.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  That's a couple, that's a couple of days up.

• 1:03:08Mark Normand?

  Gotta even out. Woo!

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  That's a couple of days.

• 1:03:12Sam Morril?

  If someone hands you like a beer, though, and you're just like, "Oh, I could fucking do one."

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  Who's taking these pictures of him?

• 1:03:18Mark Normand?

  That's a great question.

• 1:03:19Sam Morril?

  I feel like, I feel like that.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  I feel like he's not really sleeping there.

• 1:03:22Sam Morril?

  I could play Hunter Biden in some shit if I, I lay in the bathtub at that angle.

• 1:03:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:03:27Sam Morril?

  Hit the gym a little bit, I could, I could be Hunter.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  Why is there so much photographic evidence?

• 1:03:32Speaker 04

  Dude, he's all fucked up on crack. What do you mean?

• 1:03:35Sam Morril?

  I mean.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  Dude, imagine if you, when you were real fucked up, you had an iPhone and the millions of dollars.

• 1:03:41Sam Morril?

  When I was doing blow and stuff like that, I, I was worried people weren't taking pictures of me. I don't want any phones around. How many drunken videos do I send you?

• 1:03:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, quite a bit.

• 1:03:48Sam Morril?

  That's different, you're having a good time.

• 1:03:49Mark Normand?

  I save them all.

• 1:03:53Mark Normand?

  Hard drive.

• 1:03:54Sam Morril?

  Bombed at a bar, just, yeah.

• 1:03:56Mark Normand?

  Wait, did you give up the, the Yam Yam?

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:59Mark Normand?

  Whoa, congrats.

• 1:04:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, I didn't, oh, come on, I saw you three days ago.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  Pork and swag.

• 1:04:07Mark Normand?

  Don't believe what you, don't believe what you're reading YouTube comments.

• 1:04:11Mark Normand?

  Well, hey, 10 years, that's good.

• 1:04:12Sam Morril?

  I didn't, I didn't know you were doing that hard.

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it was great.

• 1:04:16Mark Normand?

  Don't let the body fool ya. Yeah. That guy could really snow blow.

• 1:04:21Sam Morril?

  Damn. Were you, were you a big, uh, coke guy or not?

• 1:04:24Mark Normand?

  No, no, never, I never got really big into drugs. All my friends were like, and still are.

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  You say you either?

• 1:04:30Mark Normand?

  Never done it.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  Coke?

• 1:04:32Mark Normand?

  Never done it.

• 1:04:32Sam Morril?

  We both never done it.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:04:36Sam Morril?

  I was, I was, I was scared of it, dude.

• 1:04:37Mark Normand?

  I'm not against it, I mean, I'm not, uh, not judging.

• 1:04:40Sam Morril?

  I had a coach when I was really young who was like, letting bias, fucking Daryl Johnson, he was just showing me all the guys who died. From one time use or like just a random, I mean dude, we fucking lost friends to that shit, just like.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  I'll show you the good examples, Daryl Strawberry.

• 1:04:55Mark Normand?

  Leon Lett.

• 1:04:56Speaker 04

  Woo wee!

• 1:04:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right, Rob Williams.

• 1:04:59Sam Morril?

  Daryl Strawberry was a fucking beast.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  Man, those guys.

• 1:05:03Sam Morril?

  But he went, he went hard religious now.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  Is he?

• 1:05:06Sam Morril?

  That is a side effect from doing too much drugs, you might come back as a super religious person.

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 1:05:10Sam Morril?

  I'm with it.

• 1:05:11Mark Normand?

  Drug addict.

• 1:05:11Sam Morril?

  But he was a fucking killer, man.

• 1:05:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:14Speaker 04

  I still have, I still have friends who like, we got into drug, like recreational drugs, it's like, yeah, you know, pills were real big.

• 1:05:20Sam Morril?

  Go back to that picture of him in the fucking sweater vest.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Who's that?

• 1:05:23Mark Normand?

  Living restored.

• 1:05:23Sam Morril?

  His wife.

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  That's his wife?

• 1:05:26Sam Morril?

  I mean, that is, dude, this guy was fucking in between innings, he's in a fucking sweater vest.

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  Jerry, old school.

• 1:05:32Mark Normand?

  Wow, good for him, he's with, he's with the Karen from the baseball game.

• 1:05:37Mark Normand?

  You guys see that?

• 1:05:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:38Mark Normand?

  Holy shit, the lady got fired.

• 1:05:40Sam Morril?

  What is, what is with people doing that?

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't like to call for the job, it's like, hey, somebody's being shitty, it's like, so like, Twitter's always like, find this person, it's like. Unless it's like a crime or like a huge grievance, like.

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  Listen, the whole system of it sucks, from beginning to end.

• 1:05:54Sam Morril?

  All of it sucks, that mob shit sucks.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  Sucks.

• 1:05:57Mark Normand?

  And now this kid's getting blown by, uh, every fucking Philly, and I'm like, well, hey. I don't know if he deserves that either.

• 1:06:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, easy, John Reed.

• 1:06:08Mark Normand?

  I'm saying he doesn't deserve it.

• 1:06:09Sam Morril?

  But did you see, did you see the, uh?

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  It's bad all around.

• 1:06:11Mark Normand?

  It's all around.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  And for the kid, it's horrible.

• 1:06:13Sam Morril?

  The guy at the US Open, too, who took the, uh, the hat. But then he's a guy, he doubled down.

• 1:06:19Speaker 04

  I agree with, I kind of respect the double down.

• 1:06:22Mark Normand?

  Pull the hat up.

• 1:06:22Sam Morril?

  I do, but also I think like, just...

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  I mean, I'm out of comedy.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  CEO millionaire.

• 1:06:27Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  Doubt he started out a millionaire.

• 1:06:30Mark Normand?

  Already people are gonna hate him because he's a millionaire, which I also don't get, but that's another argument.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  But he yanks this. Dick move.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  Okay. But his apology was very much like, "The world's tough, it's not fair, kid should've been quicker, keep your hands up, have a good day."

• 1:06:45Mark Normand?

  Interesting. Okay.

• 1:06:49Sam Morril?

  Just, my thing is like, if it's a little kid, just let the kid have that thing.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 1:06:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that is a little...

• 1:06:53Speaker 04

  Who wants a hat from a guy like, like, in that, like, how can you be so like, "I'm gonna run up and stand there"?

• 1:06:59Mark Normand?

  I don't like this.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  He didn't, he gave, was giving to the kid.

• 1:07:02Sam Morril?

  I think let the kid have the memory.

• 1:07:04Mark Normand?

  Of course. The player should step in and go, "I was giving it to the kid."

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  He did. You know, they tell him and then he like met with the kid after or something.

• 1:07:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, but he didn't see it that, like, he thinks he handed it to the kid, I think.

• 1:07:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, this is breaking my heart.

• 1:07:15Speaker 04

  Dude, then they put it in a bag and hide it right away? It's like, you fucking dirtbag.

• 1:07:19Mark Normand?

  And this is the guy?

• 1:07:20Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:07:20Mark Normand?

  Oh. Oh, these are all the retards you have to comment on.

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I do think it's kind of crazy, like, people's whole job and or pertinent, maybe not job, but like, is like...

• 1:07:28Sam Morril?

  No, he's a CEO.

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  I know, but like, let me take it to, here's my opinion on it.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:33Speaker 04

  Shut up.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  Taking an opinion on it.

• 1:07:34Mark Normand?

  I guess we're doing it too in real time, but...

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  Theoretically.

• 1:07:37Sam Morril?

  You know what I hate? Is everyone having an opinion on this stupid thing. Anyway, what do you think, Foley?

• 1:07:42Speaker 04

  More at seven.

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  No, I agree. Yeah, it's just the whole thing's sad.

• 1:07:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  And dumb. Who the fuck wants a, I mean, I get it if it's like...

• 1:07:52Speaker 04

  But it's like, you're a millionaire, you can just go like, hey...

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  Barry Bonds, million, home run or whatever.

• 1:07:54Speaker 04

  Spend $1,100 on a hat signed by this guy. If that's how much it is, like, I don't even know who the guy is, but it's like, if it's that, you have the means to be like, "I want a tennis racket signed by this guy."

• 1:08:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I, I tried to get an Eli Manning signed helmet at a, uh, at a charity, but it just kept going. I was like, "It's for a good cause, I'll just keep paying." And then at a certain point, I'm like, "No, I'm out, this is insane."

• 1:08:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 1:08:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Sam Morril?

  You know? And that's it.

• 1:08:17Mark Normand?

  That's it.

• 1:08:17Sam Morril?

  I just won't have it. For sure. That's how you have to be as an adult. You have to accept like, no, I don't have everything.

• 1:08:23Mark Normand?

  Yes. I will say the fact that he doubled down is kinda cool because it probably shut it all down.

• 1:08:28Sam Morril?

  No, it didn't. People were like, fuck this guy.

• 1:08:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, alright, well, never mind.

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  But it turned me. I'm like, you know what? Yeah, life isn't fair. If I can get back on that horse and ride it.

• 1:08:37Mark Normand?

  Hit a guy with a car and go, hey, life isn't fair.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  Hey, tough break, pal. Call my insurance company.

• 1:08:42Sam Morril?

  John Reap, he's like, look, life's not fair, dude. Some kids are gonna get jerked off to.

• 1:08:47Mark Normand?

  Both have sad kids.

• 1:08:50Mark Normand?

  Is that the guy?

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  That's the tennis player.

• 1:08:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, alright, well, he got the photo with the kid. It all worked out. This is the good thing about social media. There's a little redemption, I guess.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  He's gotta do it. He's gotta get that picture in the paper.

• 1:09:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 1:09:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, now, his PR team was like, this is great for us. You'll come out looking like a hero. We just need 10 minutes with the kid. His name's Gary.

• 1:09:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:15Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  Keep going around.

• 1:09:17Mark Normand?

  This is the thing with, everything's on film now, folks, so watch out.

• 1:09:20Sam Morril?

  It is crazy. You used to just like hear someone was a dick.

• 1:09:23Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  Now we see it.

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  I heard that guy sucks. It's like, well, here's fucking...

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  It's crazy. It's like, you try to think like, you know, play somewhat devil's advocate, like, you don't think any of us would ever do that in that situation, but like, you know, some of them are like, maybe you just didn't think or whatever.

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  Raps of judgment. You're caught up in the emotions. He's your favorite person. You just watched him win. You're sitting at the gate and, I mean, you know.

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  You know, maybe that lady in the Philly thing, like, thought she was wrong. That he came over and stole my ball.

• 1:09:51Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  You know, it's like, back it up. Why do you give a fuck that much about a fucking baseball is the main problem, but then, you know, she looks like an asshole going over and yelling at the guy.

• 1:10:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  And then the pieces just don't work. The haircut, the glasses.

• 1:10:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the haircut.

• 1:10:05Sam Morril?

  But I feel like signatures now, I feel like back in the day, an autograph meant more. Now it's like, it's still, it's weird. I feel like an athlete used to make a good living just...

• 1:10:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:14Sam Morril?

  You're like Joe DiMaggio. Your retirement was like, yeah, just sign balls.

• 1:10:17Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:10:17Sam Morril?

  You know, just chill.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  But that's not like a convention, right? You weren't charging on the street, were they?

• 1:10:22Sam Morril?

  No, no, no.

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  No, but like, you'd be like, here's a hundred balls, co-charge.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  Oh, sure.

• 1:10:27Speaker 04

  A hundred dollars.

• 1:10:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:28Mark Normand?

  We'll say, I opened for a comic in Vegas, not gonna say his name, and you probably won't even guess it, but he had a hot moment. He was like hot for a year. I opened for him. Sold out. You're not far off.

• 1:10:43Mark Normand?

  We were hanging out after and kids were coming up to him like.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  Kids?

• 1:10:46Mark Normand?

  You know, like.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  John Reeve.

• 1:10:48Speaker 04

  John Rea, come on, I was right there.

• 1:10:50Mark Normand?

  Like sixteen year olds were coming up to him at the show with their dads and shit. Like, everybody loved this guy. And they were going, can I get a photo with my son? He would go, fifty bucks.

• 1:10:59Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:10:59Mark Normand?

  And the kid was like, the kid's like, I don't have fifty bucks, I'm a kid. And he's like, that's what I charge. And I remember sitting there like, I was so uncomfortable.

• 1:11:06Speaker 02

  Not a meet and greet, just hanging out after.

• 1:11:08Mark Normand?

  Uh, it wasn't a meet and greet, sorry, it wasn't a meet and greet. But, uh, he was, he was sitting at a table and I was just standing there like hoping for a compliment, you know?

• 1:11:15Speaker 04

  You were good too.

• 1:11:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:17Speaker 04

  Or this.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  I'll do it for twenty-five.

• 1:11:20Sam Morril?

  After the show, you gotta remind me.

• 1:11:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but the guy was so cold and you know what? Now he doesn't do it anymore. He doesn't even work anymore. Cause I think he got iced out.

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  That'll go around, yeah, that'll, that'll, that'll go, that, that behavior can't sustain.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  You wanna make the fifty bucks off the picture?

• 1:11:34Mark Normand?

  And seeing the kid like, I ju- I just don't have it, I, maybe, I got twenty-eight. And then he was like.

• 1:11:39Sam Morril?

  I couldn't even, I couldn't even do cameo. I would do like.

• 1:11:42Mark Normand?

  I couldn't either.

• 1:11:42Sam Morril?

  I know friends who like did it for charity, I'm like, alright, that's, that's cool. But like, I, I had people hit me up and like, can I get a video? Like, my wife has cancer, but yeah, I'm not, I feel weird.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  Eighteen bucks.

• 1:11:52Sam Morril?

  I feel weird being like, putting that on a fucking website, yeah.

• 1:11:55Speaker 04

  But, I mean, you know, we just do, we did one, we had Ari on and we did like a funny, uh, cause he's mo- he moved, so we were like, this is your going away. This is your, we were like, oh, the joke was you're retiring from comedy. So we had a bunch of, we got a bunch of cameos. And I've, we did it early on when we really needed them, to keep the lights on in the studio.

• 1:12:11Sam Morril?

  Who did we, we got some cameos on the pod.

• 1:12:12Speaker 04

  They're expensive. Dude, like Wayne Newton, to get within, to get, Wayne Newton, to get within twenty-four hours, might have been like a thousand dollars.

• 1:12:19Sam Morril?

  What? Who, who did we get on the pod?

• 1:12:24Speaker 04

  Jerry?

• 1:12:25Mark Normand?

  Stor- Stoller.

• 1:12:26Speaker 02

  Kenny Banyan?

• 1:12:26Mark Normand?

  Stoller.

• 1:12:27Speaker 04

  Oh, Fred Stoller.

• 1:12:27Mark Normand?

  Fred Stoller.

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  Buckles? Don't start up with me, we were going back and forth with Buckles the other day.

• 1:12:33Speaker 02

  The problem with going to see my mom is I gotta take the bus out there, there's no transfer.

• 1:12:37Mark Normand?

  Take the jacket.

• 1:12:38Speaker 02

  So good.

• 1:12:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:39Speaker 04

  I can't do the voices.

• 1:12:40Mark Normand?

  Can't do the voices.

• 1:12:41Speaker 02

  Buckles, I just, we were talking about.

• 1:12:43Speaker 04

  We are, we were dying.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  I just watched the episode last week, man.

• 1:12:45Mark Normand?

  So funny.

• 1:12:46Speaker 04

  You better move that call, girl.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  You know what it gave me the vibe of, and when I saw it as a, as a kid or whatever, had no idea that I would feel this way about it, but it really shows of like a, like a winter night in New York City.

• 1:13:01Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:13:02Speaker 02

  Running around doing socks.

• 1:13:03Mark Normand?

  Running around, yes.

• 1:13:04Speaker 02

  Man, it really.

• 1:13:05Mark Normand?

  It's the best.

• 1:13:06Sam Morril?

  There's something beautiful about it.

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  Makes you feel good.

• 1:13:07Speaker 04

  There's something, yeah.

• 1:13:08Sam Morril?

  You feel like you have heart. You're like, I'm fucking, I'm, I'm fighting to stay in this game.

• 1:13:11Speaker 04

  You really do, and you really, like, it's so funny, like, in my head, you're like, doing it, and you're like, there's nothing, at these doctors and whoever's around, like, this is the most important thing, is me to make it to my 812 spot.

• 1:13:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so true.

• 1:13:23Speaker 04

  And you're like, get out of the way, hold the train.

• 1:13:25Sam Morril?

  I love it.

• 1:13:26Mark Normand?

  Fuck it. Go do art.

• 1:13:27Speaker 04

  Yes, and you're like, I'm contributing to the city. This is like, I am part of the nightlife of the city. I am, I am a cog in the wheel.

• 1:13:34Speaker 02

  Friends for the movie and all that kind of stuff.

• 1:13:36Mark Normand?

  Right, yeah.

• 1:13:37Speaker 02

  The papaya dog.

• 1:13:37Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, I got a movie rec.

• 1:13:39Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:13:39Sam Morril?

  Uh, I gotta shout out two people, Todd Barry and Santino, who both told me to watch this movie. It's called Force Major. Have you heard of that?

• 1:13:46Mark Normand?

  Hmm, heard of it.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  I feel like I have.

• 1:13:47Sam Morril?

  It's fucking crazy. It's about like, this family on a ski trip, it's from like 10 years ago.

• 1:13:52Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:13:53Sam Morril?

  Uh, and there's an avalanche, and, uh, basically the husband doesn't, he runs away in panic.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  I've seen this clip online.

• 1:14:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he runs away and leaves the family.

• 1:14:01Mark Normand?

  Oh shit.

• 1:14:02Sam Morril?

  And then they're all okay, but the wife doesn't respect him anymore.

• 1:14:05Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 1:14:05Sam Morril?

  And it kinda goes from there. It's pretty, it's pretty good.

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  She start nailing somebody?

• 1:14:10Sam Morril?

  You watch the movie. It's a good movie.

• 1:14:11Speaker 04

  She start nailing someone?

• 1:14:14Sam Morril?

  It's, it's worth a watch.

• 1:14:15Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 1:14:16Sam Morril?

  It's a good flick.

• 1:14:18Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:14:19Mark Normand?

  Speaking of running around in the city, that feeling, my wife's gotten, and she got into that.

• 1:14:23Speaker 02

  The king of that.

• 1:14:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I, I, when we do it, I'm like, I feel like Norman.

• 1:14:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:28Speaker 02

  We used to look at you, but like.

• 1:14:29Sam Morril?

  You're always out of breath.

• 1:14:30Mark Normand?

  Always out of breath, city bike.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  Just making it.

• 1:14:32Mark Normand?

  Uber, subway, whatever. The worst is when you get the, the Liz text, where are you? Ooh, I hate a where are you, because that means you're supposed to be on right now.

• 1:14:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:41Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  Nine marshals in one night.

• 1:14:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, got three tonight.

• 1:14:44Sam Morril?

  She screamed at me in front of a friend who didn't understand the culture, and she was like, hey asshole, you're running around the corner. My friend was like, who was that?

• 1:14:53Mark Normand?

  The police chief in like an 80's cop movie like. You're fucking everything up, you piece of shit.

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  You ruined half the city. There's a pileup of cars. Bombing all over town.

• 1:15:03Speaker 02

  That's funny.

• 1:15:04Mark Normand?

  Remember in Point Break, you're like, why's he being so mean to Keanu? Yeah, where are you at the guy?

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  That was a character.

• 1:15:09Speaker 02

  That movie, that movie rules.

• 1:15:10Mark Normand?

  Great movie. Utah, but uh, point is, my wife's watching this high maintenance show. You ever seen the show High Maintenance?

• 1:15:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, the HBO, right?

• 1:15:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the whole thing's set in Brooklyn.

• 1:15:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:20Mark Normand?

  It's a kind of a no name guy.

• 1:15:21Speaker 04

  It changes every, every episode, isn't it?

• 1:15:23Mark Normand?

  Yes, every episode's a brand new cast, brand new thing.

• 1:15:25Speaker 04

  McKeever did one, I think, I believe McKeever directed one or something like that.

• 1:15:28Mark Normand?

  It's a brilliant show, that guy, Ben Sinclair. Um, brilliant show, but I don't know if you remember that.

• 1:15:34Speaker 02

  I'm surprised this didn't come across your radar.

• 1:15:35Mark Normand?

  I guess Sherman's in it, everybody's in it. You're like, oh, there's Jay Jordan, or there's Aparna, or there's Cape Berlin, or whoever.

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:15:41Mark Normand?

  But everybody's in it, but point is, he, he rides a bike all over Brooklyn, selling weed. And he's like, meeting up with people, their tiny apartment, has a drink with this guy, goes and gets laid in the back of a SUV, and then he gets back on his bike and he shows that sunset over the brownstones and it just gets you pumped up about living in New York.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, there is something too, doing that like, fucking, that, that train calculation of like, do you take? Should I take an Uber, or is it the L to the whatever, it'll get you the, you know, that kind of thing? And then when you do have the time to be like, I'm walking from New York 24th to the cellar or something, you throw in the headphones and you're, a nice fucking spring or autumn night, walking through, like walking under the arch in that West 4th, nothing's better.

• 1:16:25Mark Normand?

  Street performer, there's a guy playing music, there's a guy juggling, and there's a hot girl, it's just the best.

• 1:16:30Speaker 02

  You play, you play the?

• 1:16:31Speaker 04

  He touched my leg.

• 1:16:33Speaker 02

  This is gonna sound very fat, but just on a very simple, that slice that we had, we came out, we, we recorded something downtown, we were in Alita, walked over to this pizza place, I was starving, starving. Walked in, uh, sliced each in a Diet Coke, me and Kippy, walk outside, Chris Bear.

• 1:16:48Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:48Mark Normand?

  Ate outside.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  Took a bite of that, man.

• 1:16:50Speaker 04

  Someone came up and was like, "I love your show, can we get a picture of our both like?" I'm like, "How on brand is this, two fat idiots."

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  But even, I know, I know that's crazy, you know, like.

• 1:16:57Speaker 04

  No, I get it.

• 1:16:58Speaker 02

  But like, there's something in it.

• 1:16:59Speaker 04

  There's something about that.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  I think about that, I'm like, I would give up, you know, a backyard and all that stuff to be, you know what I mean?

• 1:17:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what it is.

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  I don't, it's crazy.

• 1:17:06Speaker 04

  I was, uh.

• 1:17:07Speaker 02

  Something about it.

• 1:17:08Speaker 04

  I'm spending the, I have a, I have a house in the suburbs, so I was, I've been spending the summer there since we had the kid, to be easier room space help. The whole nine yards, and we were hanging out with like, I went to a barbecue with no one I knew. My wife knew one of the couples, and I was like, "You know what? Let me just go be John Q dad, husband, suburbanite." I ended up being great, but she was like, the one, the one woman's like, "Oh, you guys spending your time in New York? Are you gonna be here mostly?" I'm like, I just, I'm like, I can't walk away from New York.

• 1:17:38Speaker 02

  You in show business? You a comedian?

• 1:17:39Speaker 04

  Are you an entertainer?

• 1:17:40Speaker 02

  Why am I talking to you?

• 1:17:40Speaker 04

  Why am I talking to you? Um.

• 1:17:43Speaker 02

  I, dude, there's something about that.

• 1:17:44Speaker 04

  But then she's like, "Why?", and I'm like, "I don't know." But even if I'm just coming up and I don't have spots, I'm coming up to like, record the, the pod, I, I, you get in the city and I'm walking on Sixth Ave and I'm like, "Yeah, this."

• 1:17:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you get all.

• 1:17:56Speaker 04

  I can't explain it, but I'm part of the city, I struggled here for so long.

• 1:17:59Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 1:18:00Speaker 04

  We have it now, and we're like.

• 1:18:01Mark Normand?

  And the city's moving.

• 1:18:02Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:18:03Mark Normand?

  It's always moving.

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  The energy, the energy's good for comedy, the second I'm around total quiet and calm, I'm like. I feel, dude, when I'm, when I'm in LA, I feel so isolated and, and.

• 1:18:12Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:18:12Speaker 02

  I'm like, "How do I fucking create stuff here?" I don't know. LA, I'm okay, I always feel like, I, I, that, I don't mind. Yeah. But.

• 1:18:19Mark Normand?

  It's still a city.

• 1:18:20Speaker 02

  Yes, but just the, and plus, it's, it's, you know, fucking Hollywood, you know what I mean? So on the back of your head, you have that, but, uh.

• 1:18:27Mark Normand?

  Can't beat New York.

• 1:18:28Speaker 02

  The stimulation, the energy you got in the street, I, any city where you, Chicago's got it too, certain cities where you just walk out, you're like, there's a fucking energy here.

• 1:18:36Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:36Speaker 02

  You feel like you're a part of something.

• 1:18:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you know when you go out drinking all night in New York, and you, the sun's up, you, you fall out of the bar, and you see like, a guy in the back of a truck doing boxers?

• 1:18:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:46Mark Normand?

  The city's already going.

• 1:18:48Speaker 04

  Or, yeah, you're like, he's like dropping off the bread?

• 1:18:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:50Speaker 04

  And you're like, ah, you're like cranking a cig, and you're like, ah.

• 1:18:53Speaker 02

  Home have a bacon, egg and cheese and knock out for eight hours.

• 1:18:55Sam Morril?

  You're like, you're like, you're like passing a baton in a race where you're like, I'm, I'm, I'm going in for the night. You pick it up.

• 1:19:01Speaker 02

  Wow, that's pretty good.

• 1:19:01Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  Wow, that'd be a great commercial for New York City.

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is really good.

• 1:19:05Sam Morril?

  I'm doing advertising for the city here, guys.

• 1:19:07Mark Normand?

  Draper.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  It's like, it's also like.

• 1:19:09Sam Morril?

  New York City, the city that never sleeps.

• 1:19:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Hey, I never heard that.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  Really good.

• 1:19:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, but that, that is the best. And that's why all these cum guzzling queefs from the Midwest or whatever, they go, I don't know how you live there. I don't know how you, the rents a million of your apartments the size of my sister's dick and da, da, da, the, the fucking crime in the subway. Yeah, just like, I don't know.

• 1:19:31Sam Morril?

  And by the way, we never say that to you, Dayton, Ohio. How the fuck do you do that?

• 1:19:35Mark Normand?

  I know, I know, exactly.

• 1:19:37Speaker 02

  I mean, I see the, I see like, you know, like for me specific, it's like, yeah, I might not buy a house. I might, I might just stay here and rent and, you know, maybe they find me in some apartment downtown.

• 1:19:45Speaker 04

  In three weeks.

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  As an old man. Or whatever. It's like.

• 1:19:49Mark Normand?

  Rats were eating them.

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  Holy shit, boys. Yeah, you know what I mean?

• 1:19:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  And then you think yourself, I'll, I'll accept that. I'll take that.

• 1:19:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  For this.

• 1:19:58Mark Normand?

  Until Zoran gets in.

• 1:20:02Sam Morril?

  No, the energy is fucking incredible, man. Mark and I talk about this all the time, but like the basis for this pod was just, uh, us being at the cellar, the, the, the blackout shades being.

• 1:20:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:13Sam Morril?

  And we didn't know what time it was and we'd leave and we'd be like, fuck.

• 1:20:17Mark Normand?

  We'd be like, one more, one more. That turned into, you know, five hours.

• 1:20:19Sam Morril?

  And then you go out and it's fucking 7:00 AM.

• 1:20:21Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:20:22Sam Morril?

  And we were like, wow, I hate myself.

• 1:20:24Speaker 04

  We tried to even make that, we tried to show, we tried to make that a show years ago called Last Spot of the Night.

• 1:20:28Sam Morril?

  Last Spot of the Night.

• 1:20:29Speaker 04

  Where it was, we would shoot it, uh, at like one in the morning.

• 1:20:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  After everybody was running around doing their spots and we'd sit with a guest and we'd start with like Schultz, Donley, Akash.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  What'd you have tonight? How were the spots? Blah, blah, blah.

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, I had this one girl, she was doing this.

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was, we were just at a bar. We were literally, we had, we did it at the corner of a bar, drinking.

• 1:20:48Speaker 02

  We shot it at New York Comedy Club. Remember when they had that other space next door and they were gonna turn it into like a.

• 1:20:52Speaker 04

  A lounge?

• 1:20:52Sam Morril?

  Was there a coffee?

• 1:20:53Speaker 02

  Yes, for a minute.

• 1:20:54Sam Morril?

  I kinda liked the, the coffee shop.

• 1:20:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, the coffee shop's nice, but for a while that was just.

• 1:20:58Speaker 04

  They had it. It was a bar.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  And we saw that, we were like, yeah, we got fucking perfect set here.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  And we just shot it there, but it just never. Uh, never worked out.

• 1:21:04Mark Normand?

  Throw that up on the tube.

• 1:21:05Speaker 04

  I think it even might be.

• 1:21:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, alright.

• 1:21:07Speaker 04

  It was corny and we didn't know what we were doing, but it was just like, that's what, oh shit. I'm like, we, we even tried to do like an audio version of it. I'm like, that is a show to me. I mean, that's what I like hearing of like, breaking down the salad, there's one person, this type thing, but uh.

• 1:21:19Speaker 02

  He usually tends to give those jobs to people in broadcast.

• 1:21:22Speaker 04

  In broadcast.

• 1:21:24Speaker 04

  You always say I make good comments watching the game.

• 1:21:26Mark Normand?

  Uh, yeah, yeah, you make good comments.

• 1:21:29Speaker 02

  I like, I like Mike Lupica.

• 1:21:31Sam Morril?

  Dude, it's crazy though, cause that's like, you probably could just rent that out as a space now, cause like, I was in, we played that basketball tournament for Kenny DeForest, R.I.P. Kenny, you know? On, on Saturday and uh, it started to rain, so we had to finish the game. Uh, you know, we finished the game and Joe Wachowski, God bless him, was like, he's like, we gotta finish the game, it's the championship. So we find some guy's got a home in Greenpoint. And there's a basketball court in the home and we're walking around, it's one of those luxury, all amenities buildings, in a, in a big building.

• 1:22:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:22:00Sam Morril?

  Not just his home.

• 1:22:01Mark Normand?

  I got you.

• 1:22:02Sam Morril?

  But it's like, it's incredible that it's there still, it's like a gorgeous court. And we're walking around and they're like, oh, it's got like a little movie room down here, it's got, it's got a fucking podcast studio down there.

• 1:22:10Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 1:22:10Sam Morril?

  Just like, that's what, is like a fancy thing in a new building now, it's like, we have, if you have a podcast, you can rent that out.

• 1:22:16Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:22:17Sam Morril?

  You're gonna have to fucking go to war with these people, Peters.

• 1:22:19Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:22:19Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, they're encroaching on you. It's gonna be like two rich housewives being like, what's weird about whatever.

• 1:22:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no dude, you literally probably just have like a, you're like, oh, we'll just start a podcast, there's a studio down here, we'll give it a shot.

• 1:22:29Speaker 02

  No one ever uses that stuff in the building, they would totally.

• 1:22:32Mark Normand?

  I know, they never do.

• 1:22:34Sam Morril?

  Even the basketball court was wide open on a weekend, I'm like.

• 1:22:37Speaker 02

  Where you gonna go? You done Greenpoint, a little Polish food?

• 1:22:41Sam Morril?

  Greenpoint's cool, man.

• 1:22:42Speaker 02

  The best.

• 1:22:42Sam Morril?

  Green, Polish food is so fucking underrated.

• 1:22:45Speaker 02

  It's alright.

• 1:22:45Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah. It's still fucking Polish too. Like, there's no, you know, something like, uh, like a Jewish neighborhood, that was a black neighborhood, now it's gentrified, that shit is Polish.

• 1:22:54Sam Morril?

  I got a rec for you, if you're in Greenpoint, Peter Pan Bakery dude, get a fucking apple fritter.

• 1:22:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, comedy fan, one of the, I think the son of the, the son of the owner or something, he hit a hot stop, yeah, so I assume.

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  You don't know this joint?

• 1:23:04Mark Normand?

  I don't know Peter Pan.

• 1:23:05Sam Morril?

  Oh, you've never been?

• 1:23:06Mark Normand?

  Been to Greenpoint in 10 years.

• 1:23:07Speaker 02

  It's wild.

• 1:23:08Sam Morril?

  You've been in this area for sure.

• 1:23:09Mark Normand?

  I used to go there all the time, I used to live in Bushwick, so we'd go to Greenpoint to try to meet uh, skirt.

• 1:23:13Speaker 04

  Shout out Chrissy Pizza, always uh, do you know Chrissy Pizza's? Chrissy Pizza out in Greenpoint?

• 1:23:18Sam Morril?

  Who's that?

• 1:23:19Speaker 04

  He was uh, we, we plug, we talk about him all the time, but if we're talking about uh, good, good recs. Um, he started making pizza in the pandemic, kinda blew up, and then now he's got his own, uh, his own place out there. It's fucking awesome.

• 1:23:31Mark Normand?

  I love a fucking bakery. I just did the Donut Pub, uh, last week on twenty-third or fourteen.

• 1:23:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:37Speaker 02

  With the counter?

• 1:23:37Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:23:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:38Sam Morril?

  I had a really late night with Avi and Rachel once, and it was like one of the most fun nights.

• 1:23:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:23:43Sam Morril?

  Just, you're just, you're just like, I'll get like eight donuts. You have a couple bites of each. You get a late night coffee.

• 1:23:48Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:23:49Sam Morril?

  Louis in that episode.

• 1:23:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:51Sam Morril?

  Louis did that episode with the bully in the donut pub.

• 1:23:54Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:23:54Mark Normand?

  Was that the donut pub?

• 1:23:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:23:56Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:23:56Sam Morril?

  That kid's Mike Barrett. He's on The Sopranos. He's my friend's friend from growing up.

• 1:24:00Speaker 02

  Bobby, Bobby talks about it all the time, bro. He used to talk about it. Bobby, because when Bobby talked about, Bobby Kelly, he talked about going there and having a coffee and this and that. Oh, man. I wanted to crawl so bad.

• 1:24:11Speaker 04

  Very New York moment, I'll tell you. I walked out of Patty's one night on like twenty, whatever, what is that, on second Ave or third Ave? I was like, fuck it. They, they would, they used to let us, they used to lock the door and let you fucking hang out.

• 1:24:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:22Speaker 04

  Back when I was still drinking that heavy. Uh, yeah. And, uh, I walk out, sun's up. I take a cab uptown. I get, and I live up by the George Washington Bridge, and like I get out, and I stop at like a Gatorade and like a bacon, egg, and cheese or something, or whatever. And I'm like, you know what? I've never walked across the George Washington Bridge. It's like six o'clock in the morning. You know, in the spring, so it's like getting kinda nice. I'm like, this is amazing. I look like shit. I'm like, I'm like fucking.

• 1:24:47Mark Normand?

  He's gonna jump!

• 1:24:47Speaker 04

  Yeah. Dude, there's a guy, before they put the net up, there was a guy in a booth. Now there's, they put the railings up, but it used to be just like this.

• 1:24:55Sam Morril?

  Just like forty people caught in there?

• 1:24:57Speaker 02

  Scrambling around like mosquitoes?

• 1:25:00Speaker 04

  And I didn't realize, and I'm sitting there, and I'm walking across the bridge, just being like, this is amazing, and look how cool this looks. And the guy's like, the guy walks up to me like, "How you doing, man?"

• 1:25:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, no way!

• 1:25:10Speaker 04

  He's thinking I'm jumping, dude. I'm, I'm coming, I'm stumbling down, I'm by myself.

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  Shit, he's beautiful.

• 1:25:16Mark Normand?

  I love the pod.

• 1:25:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:18Speaker 04

  Don't do it, man.

• 1:25:19Sam Morril?

  You're not garbage, man!

• 1:25:21Speaker 04

  It's not that serious. You'll be on Crashing one day.

• 1:25:24Mark Normand?

  Jumping off a bridge is pretty garbage.

• 1:25:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is a garbage way to go.

• 1:25:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what are the, what are like, what's a sophisticated suicide and what's like a garbage suicide?

• 1:25:31Speaker 04

  The suicide, that suicide pod seems pretty classy. You gotta have money to get to Switzerland or wherever that is.

• 1:25:36Speaker 02

  There's a suicide podcast?

• 1:25:37Speaker 04

  No, suicide, no, it's that pod, that death pod. Yeah, and these new buildings, they got them.

• 1:25:42Mark Normand?

  We have no sponsors, because we won't be here.

• 1:25:45Speaker 02

  You can go to Switzerland and get put in a little.

• 1:25:46Speaker 04

  I like how you Googled best ways to kill yourself, and it said help is available.

• 1:25:50Speaker 02

  Of course!

• 1:25:50Speaker 04

  That's betterhelp.com slash we might be drunk.

• 1:25:54Mark Normand?

  Suicide pod, fuck that.

• 1:25:56Speaker 04

  Well, because it's illegal to do, like, a lot of people, if you're like, really sick or something. Youth in Asia, they call it. Yeah. Right? Which is such a weird word, youth in Asia.

• 1:26:05Mark Normand?

  It's like a young Chinese.

• 1:26:06Speaker 04

  Youth in Asia, that's what I hear.

• 1:26:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, same.

• 1:26:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, that's what I thought it was for like, way too long. I thought it was gonna be banned. You're calling a checkout, something like that.

• 1:26:12Sam Morril?

  You're dying like a dog.

• 1:26:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:14Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:26:15Speaker 04

  But didn't, uh, that com- I'm drawing a blank of his name, he was fucking, from Kill Tony, uh, Michael, uh... Lerner. Lerner. He did it. He did assisted- I believe he did assisted suicide.

• 1:26:25Mark Normand?

  He's dead?

• 1:26:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he took his life in like, Seattle.

• 1:26:29Sam Morril?

  No kidding?

• 1:26:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, lord.

• 1:26:30Sam Morril?

  And how does that, how does assisted-

• 1:26:32Speaker 04

  No, Lerman, um, ah, fuck. He's super funny.

• 1:26:36Sam Morril?

  Oh, that guy was a good actor.

• 1:26:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, great actor. Uh, Michael, I think it was Lair- Lerner. Lairer. I'm, I'm, I can't believe I'm-

• 1:26:44Sam Morril?

  So how do you do, I mean-

• 1:26:44Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 1:26:46Mark Normand?

  I don't get what the pod does, it's like a-

• 1:26:48Speaker 04

  No, it's like, you go in and you press a- because no one can administer the drugs for you. So you go in, I think it's just like, in the woods in Switzerland or something.

• 1:26:56Mark Normand?

  What happened to guns, pills, uh, car engine, what do you call that? Carbon dioxide?

• 1:27:01Speaker 04

  In the garage?

• 1:27:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's the classiest.

• 1:27:04Speaker 04

  Sure, with the kids to see.

• 1:27:05Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly, little memento.

• 1:27:07Speaker 04

  That doesn't need to be that futuristic.

• 1:27:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, this is crazy. I mean, that looks too cool, I wanna get in there.

• 1:27:13Sam Morril?

  It's like the movie with, uh, Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence.

• 1:27:18Speaker 04

  Yes. Looks like a wave runner.

• 1:27:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I mean-

• 1:27:20Speaker 04

  That wasn't bad, that was a good movie. Was it called?

• 1:27:22Sam Morril?

  I don't remember.

• 1:27:24Mark Normand?

  But a kid's gonna get in that thing. I mean, it looks like a spaceship.

• 1:27:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's in Switzerland. My little Switzerland is, uh, they're opposed to it, I don't know yet. Floating over that thing?

• 1:27:31Sam Morril?

  Oh, Switzerland's a strange place.

• 1:27:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, they get freaky.

• 1:27:34Sam Morril?

  We don't wanna get involved in any wars, but come here and kill yourself.

• 1:27:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:37Mark Normand?

  Hey, right. Number one in quality of life, by the way.

• 1:27:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, they're crazy, uh, you know what, traffic ticket can be up to one year, or a one month salary, it's dependent on how much you make? What? Yeah, speeding ticket- Where? In Switzerland.

• 1:27:51Sam Morril?

  It is funny, every country's got their thing, like, come to Turkey for a hair transplant, come to Switzerland to kill yourself.

• 1:27:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 1:27:56Sam Morril?

  But maybe if their quality of life is so good, maybe if someone wants to kill themselves, they're like, they really wanna go.

• 1:28:02Speaker 04

  Do you see if he did assisted suicide, right? He chose the assistance of a doctor. Yeah, Michael died with dignity on his own terms. That is like. Shout out to him. Yeah. Remember when he did the. Andrew Nice Clay. Wow, so good. They, this was when Kill Tony was still at the Vulcan. They brought him up, I think he was in a wheelchair, he was in a wheelchair at the time they got him on stage. And dude, he did Andrew Nice Clay. Fucking. Yeah.

• 1:28:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's.

• 1:28:25Speaker 04

  So good. Like in not, in not great, like he was in very bad shape, but still hitting the fucking notes, working the crowd. And we were like. Killing. That was my first introduction to him. It was. Yeah.

• 1:28:35Mark Normand?

  I didn't know he was in a wheelchair. This changes shit.

• 1:28:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, he was, yeah, he was, he was in a, he was in, he was in pretty bad shape.

• 1:28:41Mark Normand?

  Alright, I'm super funny. That is.

• 1:28:43Speaker 04

  Super talented, super funny. And the push through all that?

• 1:28:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:47Speaker 04

  Unbelievable.

• 1:28:47Mark Normand?

  R.I.P. this guy.

• 1:28:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, right, yeah, he was fucking awesome.

• 1:28:50Mark Normand?

  Damn, but still, I, I don't understand why not just do it yourself.

• 1:28:55Speaker 04

  I don't think he had, I don't think he had the capability to do it himself. At the end.

• 1:28:59Mark Normand?

  He can do it for free. Oh, he couldn't even.

• 1:29:02Speaker 04

  I don't, I, I, I don't know the deets, but I, I think it got to a point where he couldn't.

• 1:29:06Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 1:29:06Speaker 04

  Like somebody, if he was like, I want. How, a gun, they'd be like, we can't give you.

• 1:29:11Sam Morril?

  Remember, remember Dr. Kevorkian? It was this huge moral debate.

• 1:29:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:15Speaker 04

  Played by the great Al Pacino.

• 1:29:16Sam Morril?

  Is, is what he's doing ethical? Or is it evil?

• 1:29:20Speaker 04

  He was doing it in a hotel downtown or something like that, wasn't he? What was the deal with?

• 1:29:24Sam Morril?

  Tell you you're not getting a great doctor.

• 1:29:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:26Sam Morril?

  Meet me at the Best Western.

• 1:29:30Speaker 04

  I have points there.

• 1:29:32Mark Normand?

  Kevorkian.

• 1:29:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right. Like, I only know that name, it's synonymous with the killing, you know, assisted suicide, yeah.

• 1:29:39Mark Normand?

  They called him.

• 1:29:40Speaker 04

  So weird.

• 1:29:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he doesn't look friendly.

• 1:29:43Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:29:45Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, that guy looks like death.

• 1:29:47Sam Morril?

  He looks like a Nazi doctor.

• 1:29:48Speaker 04

  What was his deal? He was helping, he was doing assisted suicide. Just out of kindness? Yeah, people looking, looking for escape.

• 1:29:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, some people who are in great pain, if you don't believe in the afterlife and there are people who are suffering, you think you're helping them.

• 1:30:01Speaker 04

  Did they put him in jail? I think that was the big thing. I don't know if he ever went. Why is he in that wheelchair in court? Having a traffic ticket.

• 1:30:11Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:30:11Speaker 04

  Fatal injections.

• 1:30:12Mark Normand?

  Ten to twenty-five, ten to twenty-five years.

• 1:30:14Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 1:30:15Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:30:16Speaker 04

  Eight years, served eight years.

• 1:30:19Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:30:20Speaker 02

  They always knock that down, don't they?

• 1:30:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:21Sam Morril?

  Someone in prison's, uh, depressed, he's like, "Let me talk to you for a second."

• 1:30:25Speaker 04

  Bring your bed sheets, will ya?

• 1:30:26Sam Morril?

  There's an easier way.

• 1:30:28Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:30:28Speaker 04

  I heard that's what got Epstein.

• 1:30:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:30:33Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:30:33Mark Normand?

  Wow, good times.

• 1:30:35Speaker 02

  Good times.

• 1:30:36Mark Normand?

  The nineties were wild.

• 1:30:37Speaker 02

  Wild.

• 1:30:37Speaker 04

  It was, it was like a different fucking...

• 1:30:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the OJ.

• 1:30:41Speaker 02

  I feel like that opened the door, though, to everything. To the, you know.

• 1:30:44Mark Normand?

  What's that?

• 1:30:45Speaker 02

  Everything, watch everything, everything, you know.

• 1:30:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  The OJ thing.

• 1:30:49Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:30:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:50Mark Normand?

  Everything, you know, Pamela Doc was nineties.

• 1:30:53Speaker 02

  It was just so surreal. I remember we were on senior week when, when that happened. And just him driving down that highway in that white Bronco.

• 1:31:00Speaker 04

  I got Gendosin, he wants to go see his fish.

• 1:31:03Speaker 02

  Poor little pinkus.

• 1:31:05Mark Normand?

  I remember watching SNL with my friends when I was fourteen, and they went, "Breaking news, Diana has died."

• 1:31:12Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:31:12Mark Normand?

  I remember where I was, what, what time it was.

• 1:31:14Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:31:15Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 1:31:16Sam Morril?

  I remember Phil Hartman, that was one that hit me.

• 1:31:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Where were ya?

• 1:31:19Sam Morril?

  I was just watching TV, and it came on, like, Phil, comedian Phil Hartman has been shot dead by his wife, and I was like, "What the fuck?"

• 1:31:25Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:31:25Sam Morril?

  Cause, you know, obviously, who wasn't a big Phil Hartman fan?

• 1:31:28Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:31:29Speaker 02

  Kobe was a monster.

• 1:31:30Sam Morril?

  That was a...

• 1:31:30Mark Normand?

  That was a...

• 1:31:31Speaker 02

  That was a later one, crazy.

• 1:31:32Sam Morril?

  That was brutal. That was like the beginning of the end, that was like a month and a half before Covid.

• 1:31:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:37Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:31:38Sam Morril?

  That was like, you go back to like, January, early that month, like, holy shit, we didn't know how good we had it.

• 1:31:42Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:31:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and then Ari lost his whole career.

• 1:31:47Speaker 04

  What was this?

• 1:31:48Speaker 02

  It's his son.

• 1:31:50Speaker 04

  What? I never... Yeah, cause there was a standoff in the driveway, right? For a little bit.

• 1:31:55Speaker 02

  What is this? Just take him out of the car, like, what's going on?

• 1:31:57Speaker 04

  I know. He had a gun.

• 1:31:59Mark Normand?

  Well, can't they put eight guns on him?

• 1:32:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, something.

• 1:32:03Mark Normand?

  In the car?

• 1:32:03Speaker 04

  Ah, I mean...

• 1:32:05Sam Morril?

  I mean.

• 1:32:05Speaker 04

  I think the whole thing is they didn't know how to deal with it.

• 1:32:07Sam Morril?

  Someone get Jack Kevorkian on the phone. We hostage negotiated Jack Kevorkian.

• 1:32:12Speaker 02

  He's so funny. As soon as he did this, everyone knew.

• 1:32:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:15Speaker 02

  What are we doing?

• 1:32:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you're not innocent.

• 1:32:18Mark Normand?

  And by the way.

• 1:32:19Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 1:32:19Mark Normand?

  The Bronco went away and made a great comeback. The Bronco's killing.

• 1:32:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, well, he killed production of that car for 30 years.

• 1:32:27Mark Normand?

  Was it that long?

• 1:32:28Speaker 04

  I mean, what year was this?

• 1:32:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's 94.

• 1:32:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, they didn't come back till 21.

• 1:32:32Mark Normand?

  Vintage is killer, the new ones are killer.

• 1:32:34Speaker 02

  Wait, really? That even, not just the white ones, everything?

• 1:32:37Speaker 04

  I think, I think, yeah, I don't know when they, I mean.

• 1:32:40Mark Normand?

  Malaney had a great joke about it. He's like, imagine doing something so bad, they get rid of the Camry.

• 1:32:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:46Mark Normand?

  It's a good point.

• 1:32:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. Can you imagine being the, like, the guys at a Bronco, like, see that, like, oh, fuck.

• 1:32:52Mark Normand?

  I know, that sucks.

• 1:32:53Speaker 02

  I just put in a pool at my ass.

• 1:32:55Speaker 04

  I was, uh, there was a bar in Philly, a dive bar in Philly, and there was, sitting there drinking, this is fucking before I started doing comedy, and there was a Heisman up in the corner.

• 1:33:03Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:33:03Speaker 04

  And we're like, me and my buddy sitting there, we're like, is that a fucking Heisman? Like, there's no way that's real. And then we asked the bartender, we're like, dude, is that a Heisman? He's like, yeah. And we're like, who's this? He's like, you'll never guess. He's like, OJs.

• 1:33:15Mark Normand?

  Get out of here.

• 1:33:16Speaker 04

  Because if they, he's had to sell all that stuff when he lost, he lost the civil suit, he got found guilty in the civil suit. He had to sell everything. That's why he went back in. That's when he went to jail.

• 1:33:25Sam Morril?

  What did it go for, is what I want to know?

• 1:33:26Speaker 04

  I don't know. He's like, the owner bought it off a guy who bought it off a guy who bought it. Because remember, he went to jail for breaking in and stealing all of his memorabilia back? That was stuff that he had pawned, that he had sold.

• 1:33:34Sam Morril?

  Goddamn.

• 1:33:35Speaker 02

  It's fucking awesome.

• 1:33:36Speaker 04

  He's crazy.

• 1:33:37Sam Morril?

  That is hilarious.

• 1:33:38Mark Normand?

  Wow, at a bar.

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll tell you this, Jersey, we're roomies.

• 1:33:40Speaker 04

  Sold it at an auction in 1999 for 255,000 to help pay for damages and so wrong.

• 1:33:46Mark Normand?

  But then one guy needs money, so he sells it, then another guy.

• 1:33:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, it just went down, it went down the road to this.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  50 bucks.

• 1:33:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah, if you, if you have that money.

• 1:33:54Speaker 04

  He also could have been.

• 1:33:55Sam Morril?

  But you're willing to buy that, you're probably not great with money.

• 1:33:57Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:33:58Sam Morril?

  So you're like, you might be in a pickle soon.

• 1:34:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, you probably have, like, the exact amount you're willing to pay.

• 1:34:03Mark Normand?

  Imagine what ends up on storage wars. Anna Colak Smith's pill jar.

• 1:34:08Speaker 04

  We did that on Patreon.

• 1:34:10Mark Normand?

  You did storage work?

• 1:34:11Speaker 04

  That was not storage, we went and like went to an auction, that was like one of the goals, we're like, we'll go buy, fuck it, we'll go buy, it's a, it is a wild scene. Got a mint condition Mickey Mantle card.

• 1:34:19Mark Normand?

  Shut up.

• 1:34:20Speaker 04

  Now. Now.

• 1:34:21Sam Morril?

  Some woman's gonna be on.

• 1:34:22Speaker 04

  We got like a pair of roller blades and fucking a bunch of spiders.

• 1:34:24Sam Morril?

  He's gonna be on in like 50 years being like, my dad had this, and the guy's gonna be like, well, you're not gonna believe this, this is OJ Simpson's Heisman Award. She's gonna start crying, she's like, this is amazing.

• 1:34:33Speaker 04

  This is John Reed's set list.

• 1:34:35Sam Morril?

  I'm paying for my kids' college.

• 1:34:38Mark Normand?

  This is Cosby's sweater.

• 1:34:40Speaker 04

  That'd probably, that'd still gross him.

• 1:34:42Mark Normand?

  I would buy that.

• 1:34:42Sam Morril?

  He's probably got a lot of them too.

• 1:34:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:34:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah, tons of them. I mean, we could, we could raise some money.

• 1:34:46Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:34:47Sam Morril?

  You could get some goodwill back.

• 1:34:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Wow.

• 1:34:51Speaker 04

  The juice.

• 1:34:52Mark Normand?

  That was true too, back in the old days, not the old days, I'm acting like we're 90, but you'd see cool shit at a bar.

• 1:34:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:34:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we're just like, oh, that's, yeah, whatever.

• 1:35:01Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:35:01Sam Morril?

  You'd pull up Ahmad Rashad's best man photo.

• 1:35:03Speaker 04

  We were still smoking in bars in Philadelphia at that point. Remember you'd go, you'd go to- It was 2006, '07? You'd go to a restaurant, there's like jerseys behind glass.

• 1:35:12Sam Morril?

  Look, look at Ahmad Rashad, look at Ahmad Rashad, the, the athlete's best man at his wedding.

• 1:35:16Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, that's his best man?

• 1:35:17Sam Morril?

  OJ and Cosby.

• 1:35:19Speaker 04

  No shit. Man. That's-

• 1:35:22Sam Morril?

  Guy's like, these are my two best friends forever.

• 1:35:25Mark Normand?

  Wow, and William Stevenson did the inauguration, or the officiating.

• 1:35:29Speaker 04

  William Stevenson. Rest in peace.

• 1:35:32Mark Normand?

  Well, you got the whole cast there, is that Lisa Bonet and Felicia Rashad?

• 1:35:35Speaker 04

  Yep. It looks it. They're sisters.

• 1:35:38Sam Morril?

  Harvey Weinstein's had a picture here, but yeah.

• 1:35:40Speaker 04

  That's crazy, dude. You gotta play the crab salad right behind him.

• 1:35:44Mark Normand?

  Alright, sorry, I said-

• 1:35:45Speaker 04

  That's alright.

• 1:35:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, man, damn, that's wild. That guy can pick 'em.

• 1:35:51Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm. Man, talk about, that's fucking nuts.

• 1:35:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, he married her?

• 1:35:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:35:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay, okay, got it. Damn.

• 1:36:03Mark Normand?

  Good times.

• 1:36:03Sam Morril?

  It's a rough wedding, wedding album.

• 1:36:05Mark Normand?

  It's also crazy when you hear how mean Bill Cosby was to Eddie Murphy.

• 1:36:10Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:36:11Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:36:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was a real dick to him. He's like, "You're too dirty, you suck," you know, real comedy.

• 1:36:16Sam Morril?

  Huh.

• 1:36:16Mark Normand?

  And Eddie's like, "Jeez, I looked up to you."

• 1:36:18Sam Morril?

  Oh, you called him, that's right, you called him on the phone.

• 1:36:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:20Sam Morril?

  After he watched Delirious. Hmm.

• 1:36:23Mark Normand?

  I always say, if someone is too outspoken about something, they're hiding something.

• 1:36:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:27Mark Normand?

  He's too, he's like, "You gotta pull your pants up, you gotta be blah, blah, blah, you gotta act right," and whatever, and not curse.

• 1:36:33Sam Morril?

  Well, being self-righteous about it, there's no need. Like, you could be a clean comic, and people are like, "Wow, that's cool that you're able to do that clean," but then the guys who are like, "I only like clean comedy," that's kinda weird to me, too.

• 1:36:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:44Sam Morril?

  Like, just liking one thing.

• 1:36:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he loves, Seinfeld loves Pryor.

• 1:36:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:49Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:36:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that is weird.

• 1:36:52Sam Morril?

  Hmm.

• 1:36:53Speaker 04

  I saw a great, uh, it was like a meme or something, it was like, "Damn, Seinfeld's so rich, he just pays the other most famous comedians in the world to make 'em laugh, that's all comedians and cardists." Just like, "Hey, come here and make me laugh for an hour." They're like, "Wow."

• 1:37:05Mark Normand?

  The modding, the waitresses rolling their eyes, 'cause it's two fucking goofballs going, "Oh, what's that, coffee?"

• 1:37:13Speaker 04

  "I'll butter your bread."

• 1:37:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but come on, if you're a waitress, that's not the worst day. You're waiting on Jerry. You're waiting on Jerry and fucking-

• 1:37:19Speaker 02

  Alan Baldwin was good with that, when he, when he went out on a bowl of pickles.

• 1:37:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:37:24Speaker 04

  Chicken salad. Uh, he's got a great-

• 1:37:26Speaker 02

  Five easy pieces.

• 1:37:27Speaker 04

  It's been making the rounds with Sarah Jessica Parker, 'cause she's like, "Oh, I owe," she's like, "Oh, what's a tip here?" And she's like, "I always tip 25% or something," and he's like, "No."

• 1:37:36Sam Morril?

  No, she's like that.

• 1:37:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, that's what she said, 'cause she goes, "I always tip 25%," he goes, "No." He's like, 'cause every, you're gonna say, this waitress is gonna say, "I waited on Sarah Jessica Parker," and they're gonna go, the first question is, "What did she tip?"

• 1:37:48Mark Normand?

  Yep, yep.

• 1:37:48Speaker 04

  You can't, they, you, they can't, their answer can't be $7. It has to be $50, $100.

• 1:37:55Sam Morril?

  I thought she said that to him.

• 1:37:56Speaker 04

  No, he said it to her.

• 1:37:57Sam Morril?

  That's so funny, 'cause she wa, 'cause I waited on her.

• 1:37:59Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:38:00Speaker 02

  And she knocked it out of the park.

• 1:38:02Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:38:03Speaker 02

  Heavy.

• 1:38:03Speaker 04

  She said 25%.

• 1:38:05Sam Morril?

  So maybe she had a, a misspe, that's the thing, too, people misspeak sometimes on these things, and then it's there- Forever.

• 1:38:10Mark Normand?

  Twenty-five percent is still solid.

• 1:38:12Speaker 02

  Not when you're Jerry Seinfeld.

• 1:38:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yeah, when it's like.

• 1:38:16Speaker 02

  Baldwin said that too in that episode. You know, you have to leave like a thousand dollar tip.

• 1:38:19Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:38:19Speaker 02

  Cause it's us.

• 1:38:20Mark Normand?

  How'd she look?

• 1:38:22Speaker 02

  Great.

• 1:38:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:22Speaker 02

  This was ten, I mean, she looks beautiful now, ten years ago.

• 1:38:25Sam Morril?

  Mark's got a thing for it.

• 1:38:26Mark Normand?

  I got a bit of a. I like her. Oh, yeah.

• 1:38:28Speaker 02

  The best.

• 1:38:29Mark Normand?

  Big horse mug. I like. Yeah. Um. Is she Jewish? I don't know. Jewish face. Great in this. She looks like every girl I grew up with. Really? The big honker. Yeah. The blonde.

• 1:38:41Sam Morril?

  A buddy, Dave Jessica, used to hang with her back in the day and he said she was the coolest.

• 1:38:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:38:46Mark Normand?

  She seems cool.

• 1:38:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:38:47Sam Morril?

  I would like her on this. Why can't we?

• 1:38:49Mark Normand?

  I would love to.

• 1:38:49Sam Morril?

  Can we pull Sarah Jessica Parker?

• 1:38:51Mark Normand?

  I'll take her husband too.

• 1:38:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I would like, dude, I, I, good movie rec with him. You ever see You Can Count on Me?

• 1:38:58Mark Normand?

  No. No.

• 1:38:59Sam Morril?

  Great fucking movie.

• 1:39:00Mark Normand?

  I'm a big fan.

• 1:39:01Speaker 02

  Election.

• 1:39:01Sam Morril?

  That's a great.

• 1:39:02Speaker 02

  Home run.

• 1:39:03Sam Morril?

  You can count on me. Great movie.

• 1:39:05Mark Normand?

  Is that Ruffalo?

• 1:39:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:39:07Sam Morril?

  That's a great flick.

• 1:39:09Mark Normand?

  Huh.

• 1:39:10Sam Morril?

  Kenneth Lonergan, man.

• 1:39:11Mark Normand?

  Rory Culkin, the weird Culkin, the sleeper Culkin.

• 1:39:14Sam Morril?

  Hey, Culkin's gotta eat, baby.

• 1:39:16Mark Normand?

  Ninety-five percent on Ross.

• 1:39:17Sam Morril?

  Really good.

• 1:39:18Speaker 02

  Two thousand.

• 1:39:20Mark Normand?

  Who else is in there?

• 1:39:21Sam Morril?

  It's like a dramedy. It's solid as hell.

• 1:39:22Mark Normand?

  Okay. Oh, Josh Lucas, he's always good. And Gabby Hoff. She was good in, uh, Now and Then.

• 1:39:29Sam Morril?

  Amy Ryan, she's good.

• 1:39:30Mark Normand?

  Great cans on, uh, Nina. Yeah. Garbera's, quite a couple of yabbos.

• 1:39:35Speaker 02

  Gabby Hoff was a little girl in, uh, Filthy Dreams.

• 1:39:38Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 1:39:39Speaker 02

  I believe so.

• 1:39:40Sam Morril?

  Yes. Good pull, dude. Farley's fucking good with movies, dude.

• 1:39:44Mark Normand?

  Hachy machy.

• 1:39:45Sam Morril?

  Should we, do we do a couple more toasts? Get some good vibes?

• 1:39:47Mark Normand?

  Beavs? I need another beer. Can I grab another beer from you? Please. I got, we got Legion of Skanks after this. I'm rolling it into a fucking. You gotta get ready. Buckle up.

• 1:39:55Sam Morril?

  You guys are, you guys are in the zone today.

• 1:39:57Mark Normand?

  I love it. I gotta slow down.

• 1:39:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'm chilling.

• 1:40:00Speaker 02

  I'm hitting lunch at a Nappy Poo.

• 1:40:02Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:40:02Speaker 02

  In the stew.

• 1:40:03Sam Morril?

  Where are you going?

• 1:40:04Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm, thank you. I'm gonna hang on to it though. Yeah. Thank you, brother. I don't wanna waste a cold one.

• 1:40:08Mark Normand?

  Football season is a toast. Not having to type in your password? That's the best one I've heard.

• 1:40:13Sam Morril?

  That is, that is a huge one.

• 1:40:15Mark Normand?

  Sure. That's great.

• 1:40:16Sam Morril?

  Oh, when it, when it just does the face thing? Oh, God.

• 1:40:19Mark Normand?

  One guy wrote titties. We can all get behind that.

• 1:40:21Sam Morril?

  Titties is good.

• 1:40:22Mark Normand?

  Canceled plans is another great one. This guy's on my wavelength.

• 1:40:26Sam Morril?

  Cancel plans is a biggie.

• 1:40:27Mark Normand?

  That's big.

• 1:40:28Sam Morril?

  Was it Melania at the bit where it's almost like better than heroin?

• 1:40:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Todd Barry had a great bit too.

• 1:40:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:33Mark Normand?

  Um, my wife was having a party the other night. She's like, I'm gonna have some people over. And in my head, I'm like, people, fuck. And she's like, yeah, I have some people. She loves entertaining. She wants to bring, we have a cool house. She wants to bring people over and sit out in the backyard and have some drink, which is great. And you need the yin and yang. I'm the cum guzzler. Ah, this sucks.

• 1:40:50Sam Morril?

  Do you hang with them when this happens or do you hide out?

• 1:40:52Mark Normand?

  I pop in and out. No kidding? I do my time. And then I recharge and I go back. It's, it's not. Really? Yeah, it's hard.

• 1:40:59Speaker 04

  Are any of them common friends? Like, or they're all like based from, they're all from her world?

• 1:41:03Mark Normand?

  They're all in her world, but they're cool. She has good taste, except for me, blah, blah, blah.

• 1:41:07Speaker 04

  Just meant like there's no like.

• 1:41:08Mark Normand?

  You can dip in and out. Oh, yeah. Look at you. Well, I have to. If I stay out there, I'll start twitching and shit. It's too hard. Whoa.

• 1:41:14Sam Morril?

  When it's your home, you can kind of have the advantage. You could put on the slippers. You can kind of be like, oh, I'm gonna figure this out.

• 1:41:21Speaker 04

  I gotta go check out the water heater. I'll be right back. Just down there hitting it with a hat.

• 1:41:24Mark Normand?

  I'll get cups. I'm that guy.

• 1:41:26Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm a big, I'll run to the store. See you later.

• 1:41:28Mark Normand?

  Now I'm at Target with a beer buzz, you know, like wandering the aisles, like Lebowski. That's pretty good. Yeah, so. That everybody gets that. She was having this party and you know, the whole time like, ah, the party's a week away. Like a party, party? Like? Like, like 20 people, drinks, music. Food? You don't gotta be out there with her. I'll do, I'll do half of it. I'll do, you know, a little bit. I can't do the whole thing. I just can't do it. I'm sorry.

• 1:41:52Sam Morril?

  You got, they got a big place. He can hide.

• 1:41:55Mark Normand?

  Lot of hiding. And I got the baby. I gotta check on the baby. Baby needs a diaper change.

• 1:41:59Sam Morril?

  Mark literally had a baby as a buffer.

• 1:42:01Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent. That's great. I'm upstairs with the baby. Like, this is great. He's screaming in my face. I'm like, I don't care. But, uh, point is, she's having the party. Bummer. Then the day before she goes, you know, I got so much going on. My work, the baby. I'm canceling the party. I was like, whoa, what are you, what are you crazy? You canceling the party? She's like, nah, I'm gonna cancel it. It's a whole thing. And I'm like, ah.

• 1:42:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and you're like, I'm so bummed.

• 1:42:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, gotta do what you gotta do. You gotta me time. You gotta, you know, have some, uh, some hang time for yourself. I like that. Do that. What do they call it when they're, when you're working on yourself? Rejuvenate. Rejuvenate.

• 1:42:36Sam Morril?

  But here's the problem. She's gonna have another party. There's gonna be a makeup party.

• 1:42:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:41Sam Morril?

  She's gonna, you didn't get off the hook. You dodged the temporary.

• 1:42:44Speaker 04

  You got all the pie in it.

• 1:42:45Mark Normand?

  No matter what, you're never really on, if you had that, if you had that arrangement, that setup, you're never on the hook. Be grateful for that. All right. You gotta, you're just doing shit.

• 1:42:54Sam Morril?

  Are you guys on the hook?

• 1:42:55Speaker 04

  He, I mean, you're really, I mean, you don't do anything.

• 1:42:59Speaker 02

  No, but I would not be able to get away with that at all.

• 1:43:03Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 1:43:03Speaker 02

  Not even close.

• 1:43:05Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 1:43:08Speaker 02

  Not even close.

• 1:43:08Speaker 04

  Well, it's one of the perks, you're a jovial, funny guy.

• 1:43:12Speaker 02

  I hate, what do you mean? We're gonna blow my brains out in those situations.

• 1:43:14Speaker 04

  I know, but they don't know that. Her friends think, oh, Foley's coming. He's a comedian, he's a funny guy, he's a podcaster, he's quick, he's witty. So that makes it worse.

• 1:43:23Sam Morril?

  But you get drained by it.

• 1:43:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:43:26Sam Morril?

  I feel the same way.

• 1:43:27Speaker 02

  Didn't I see my room, didn't I hide in the room one time?

• 1:43:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, his girl and our friend were stopping by, they were changing, something happened, she was stopping by with a friend for like a half hour, or whatever, 20 minutes.

• 1:43:38Speaker 02

  That's enough, that's enough.

• 1:43:38Speaker 04

  To do something, to be like, hey, I'm just gonna, we're gonna pop in, I'm gonna get changed, and then we're gonna go to dinner. And he went and acted like he was sleeping in the bedroom. Meanwhile, it was like noon.

• 1:43:49Speaker 02

  But I wasn't sleeping.

• 1:43:51Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't mind, I don't mind it that much. It is draining, it is, I mean, anybody with our kind of, you know, social habits, it is draining.

• 1:44:00Mark Normand?

  They don't understand. Like, she'll catch me looking at my phone, and she's like, why aren't you out there? I'm like, because I'd rather do this.

• 1:44:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:06Mark Normand?

  You think if I wanted to be out there, I wouldn't be out there? Of course, if I wanted to be there, I'd be there.

• 1:44:10Speaker 04

  I was.

• 1:44:11Mark Normand?

  If I do that to her, I'd never go, why are you having fun? Why are you having a party? You know, I never hit her with that, but you get it all the time.

• 1:44:16Speaker 02

  So you do take a little heat for this?

• 1:44:18Mark Normand?

  Well, sure.

• 1:44:20Speaker 02

  It is sees abroad at the end of the day.

• 1:44:22Sam Morril?

  No, don't get us wrong, she's not happy.

• 1:44:24Speaker 02

  Right, right, okay, now, I got you. I respect you for holding your line.

• 1:44:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:29Speaker 02

  I'd crumble and go out there, be like, hey, how you guys doing?

• 1:44:31Sam Morril?

  Mark is an introvert. I feel that way too. I don't, I can, I can socialize, but then I, I need to recharge. It doesn't give me energy to be out socializing.

• 1:44:39Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:44:40Sam Morril?

  I enjoy, just because I enjoy it doesn't mean it doesn't drain me.

• 1:44:43Mark Normand?

  It's what alcohol's for, really. It fuels you. I could stay a little longer, I got a buzz.

• 1:44:48Sam Morril?

  Have a coffee too, coffee help. Man, a nighttime coffee is so underrated.

• 1:44:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:53Sam Morril?

  Grab me a fucking, if I find, I, I, that's a peeve. Coffee shops, thank God for New York, but you're on the road sometimes, these places are closed at like 1:30.

• 1:45:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:00Sam Morril?

  I like a nighttime or at least an afternoon coffee.

• 1:45:03Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, I like that.

• 1:45:04Speaker 02

  I just said it today, I, he gets me wanting a coffee this morning, I was like, you know what, I keep having coffee in the morning, I get anxiety, I don't want to deal with it. And after we came out of something, we were doing something, came out of that, like, now it's time for a coffee.

• 1:45:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and we stayed a lot of hotels and that, they have that Starbucks in the lobby, and that shit will shut down at like 11.

• 1:45:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know. I feel like it's never open.

• 1:45:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I woke up at 10:30.

• 1:45:24Sam Morril?

  If there is a tease.

• 1:45:25Speaker 02

  Going to those rough, those bad hotels, where they have that stuff, and finding out that the person checking you in is also running back there to do that, you're like, damn it.

• 1:45:33Mark Normand?

  I've just had that, actually.

• 1:45:34Speaker 02

  I don't want to put you through that.

• 1:45:35Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:45:36Speaker 02

  It's like, nothing better than that.

• 1:45:37Mark Normand?

  Those two big, uh, casks in the, just, uh, the coffee, the deep.

• 1:45:41Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:45:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, with the, the creamers piled up, just let me do it.

• 1:45:44Sam Morril?

  Oh, I love that, dude, yeah, oh, makes me happy.

• 1:45:47Speaker 02

  Little splash, little something, little half a cup, whatever.

• 1:45:49Sam Morril?

  I'll do a, I'll do a toast to the first sip, every morning, fuck.

• 1:45:53Speaker 04

  Great.

• 1:45:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:54Sam Morril?

  That first sip, I'm like, I feel, even that placebo effect, I know the caffeine hasn't technically hit me yet, but I know it's coming, and I feel fucking alive, I feel rejuvenated.

• 1:46:03Mark Normand?

  I'll throw one French vanilla in.

• 1:46:04Speaker 04

  Ooh, fancy pants.

• 1:46:07Speaker 02

  I'm with you.

• 1:46:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but you know, it's crazy.

• 1:46:09Sam Morril?

  When you go to 7-Eleven, they have all the flavors.

• 1:46:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, I know, I don't, I, that's.

• 1:46:12Speaker 02

  High fructose corn syrup in the pump.

• 1:46:15Mark Normand?

  The pump.

• 1:46:16Sam Morril?

  It's nasty, but every once in a while, I'll do it.

• 1:46:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, if it's Christmas morning, fuck it.

• 1:46:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, sweet green.

• 1:46:21Speaker 02

  Wawa's really classy, because Wawa has the actual cartons, like the little, um, quarter.

• 1:46:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:46:27Speaker 04

  Like, did they sell, kind of, they take them from the?

• 1:46:29Speaker 02

  Real nice.

• 1:46:30Sam Morril?

  Wawa, Wawa.

• 1:46:31Speaker 04

  Real small town, but it's not.

• 1:46:32Sam Morril?

  You hit a Wawa or Sheets on the road, I'm always fucking happy.

• 1:46:34Mark Normand?

  Never disappointed with a Wawa or Sheet.

• 1:46:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:36Speaker 04

  We're a big star, I mean, now that you have Uber Eats, it's like, wherever you are, there's enough Starbucks too, that it's like, when we travel, like, our whole team, everybody knows everybody's order, so it's like, I'm getting an order, what do you want, and it'll meet you in the lobby, or it'll meet you at the venue, or whatever the fuck it is.

• 1:46:49Speaker 02

  Wawa's cold brew holds right up to Starbucks, too.

• 1:46:52Mark Normand?

  I think it's better.

• 1:46:53Speaker 02

  Quality.

• 1:46:53Mark Normand?

  I think Starbucks has that burnt, bitter shit, I don't love it.

• 1:46:56Speaker 02

  A little bit.

• 1:46:57Speaker 04

  I kinda need it a little bit, yeah, I'm a Starbucks.

• 1:46:59Speaker 02

  You like the burnt, huh?

• 1:47:00Sam Morril?

  I used to hate it, and it's kinda grown on me, because it's just, it's at least, when you're gone, like, at least I know what I'm getting.

• 1:47:04Speaker 04

  It's consistent, it's very consistent, I, there should be, but dude, you go to some in like a small town or whatever, and you're like. Let me get back there and fix this up. I've been to enough that I know-

• 1:47:12Speaker 02

  You can't make an egg bite.

• 1:47:13Speaker 04

  I know how it runs.

• 1:47:14Sam Morril?

  I don't hate those egg bites.

• 1:47:16Speaker 02

  I hate them.

• 1:47:16Speaker 04

  Great.

• 1:47:17Sam Morril?

  I like the egg sandwiches and I like dude, yeah, I'm look, I'm gonna choose the mom and pop spot for anything. Like diner, coffee, whatever. You just, you just want it, but every once in a while, you're like, alright.

• 1:47:28Speaker 02

  I crush them egg bites. We love them.

• 1:47:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're big egg bites team.

• 1:47:31Mark Normand?

  No carbs. You know what's crazy-

• 1:47:33Speaker 02

  That's not why I eat them, but-

• 1:47:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay. It's crazy about coffee is, if I don't get coffee, I get the headaches. You ever get that?

• 1:47:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:47:39Speaker 02

  No kidding.

• 1:47:39Mark Normand?

  I get the coffee headache, which I hate.

• 1:47:40Speaker 02

  Are you up in the morning making a cup of coffee at the house?

• 1:47:42Mark Normand?

  I may, I have at least one a day.

• 1:47:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:47:44Mark Normand?

  At least.

• 1:47:45Sam Morril?

  Do you make it at home?

• 1:47:46Mark Normand?

  I do. I do the Keurig.

• 1:47:47Sam Morril?

  God, you gotta get out the Keurig, man. We'll get you a good coffee maker.

• 1:47:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's just so easy.

• 1:47:52Speaker 02

  You got something old school.

• 1:47:52Mark Normand?

  It's just the speed. I don't wanna clink clink and twist and steam.

• 1:47:55Speaker 04

  Boil water and press and wait and let it fucking cultivate for six hours.

• 1:48:00Speaker 02

  You gotta squat out there and breathe, yeah, you gotta do it right. Go French French.

• 1:48:03Mark Normand?

  I'll get the Jamaican cunt to knock it out. But my point is, making the coffee, I forgot my point. Oh, so I get the headaches.

• 1:48:11Speaker 04

  Headaches.

• 1:48:11Mark Normand?

  Now, here's what's crazy about the mental, the human brain. I can, you know, you know, the headache is withdrawals. You have the coffee, no more headache.

• 1:48:19Sam Morril?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:48:20Mark Normand?

  If you sniff and smell the coffee, it goes away.

• 1:48:23Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:48:23Mark Normand?

  Cause your brain knows you're about to have it. Yeah. It's kinda like when you see a toilet and you gotta shit, you gotta shit more.

• 1:48:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:48:30Mark Normand?

  You know when you have to shit, you're like, alright, I got, I got, I got a hole in this thing. I can make it. And then you see the toilet and you're like, bah!

• 1:48:38Mark Normand?

  That's the same with the coffee.

• 1:48:39Sam Morril?

  Dude, that-

• 1:48:39Speaker 02

  There's no more dicey situation than when your pants are coming down and you're going down on it.

• 1:48:43Speaker 04

  Woo, woo.

• 1:48:44Sam Morril?

  Dude, I'll tell you what else that-

• 1:48:44Speaker 02

  Talk about critical moment zero.

• 1:48:46Sam Morril?

  If you're on a flight and someone smells like complete shit, you just have a little fucking couple of coffee grounds, you sniff it, you're good.

• 1:48:53Speaker 04

  Ah, there you go.

• 1:48:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:48:55Sam Morril?

  Strong smell.

• 1:48:56Mark Normand?

  They tape a coffee thing up in the bathroom sometimes on planes. I never know what that was, so that must be-

• 1:49:03Sam Morril?

  Oh, maybe that's what it is.

• 1:49:03Speaker 02

  They put the coffee bag in there to kill the smell?

• 1:49:05Mark Normand?

  Tape a coffee bag right on the wall.

• 1:49:07Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:49:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:07Sam Morril?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:49:08Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:49:08Mark Normand?

  Pull this up if you can there fatty. Capa Java. Nigerian on an Air France, they walked down spraying Febreeze. And a lot of people are upset about it. Cause the BO was so out of control that they had to spray, there it is, it went viral. First one, Air France. Couple people, yeah, it looks like there's a couple videos of it. They literally walk up and down crop dusting with perfume.

• 1:49:34Speaker 02

  Anybody that doesn't know that, that you smell, or gets offended by that is insane.

• 1:49:40Mark Normand?

  That's what I said.

• 1:49:41Sam Morril?

  Bad people, when you're around and in a closed space with someone who's got really bad BO, it's tough.

• 1:49:46Speaker 02

  Wild.

• 1:49:47Mark Normand?

  I think it's a racial thing, so it got weird, cause they're all Nigerian. Cultural too.

• 1:49:52Speaker 02

  There should just be a thing where, if that's the case, it's like if you have a booger.

• 1:49:56Sam Morril?

  But it's tough to say to someone.

• 1:49:58Mark Normand?

  What, different than a booger? Booger's a quick fix, this is a life.

• 1:50:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, this is, you don't smell good. There was a guy on my tour.

• 1:50:03Mark Normand?

  This is your whole family.

• 1:50:04Sam Morril?

  There was a guy on my tour who didn't smell great. And I had to just be like, I don't wanna say, it was a, it was a crew of us. So I don't wanna pull him aside, so I had to be on the bus like, everyone, you have to stop, you have to start wearing deodorant in the shower. And everyone like nodded, I'm like, can't say who it is.

• 1:50:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a good way to handle it.

• 1:50:20Sam Morril?

  I don't wanna, I don't wanna pull him aside, I thought that was mean.

• 1:50:23Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 1:50:23Speaker 04

  I think, but like, you know, I mean.

• 1:50:25Speaker 02

  I think the pulling aside is great.

• 1:50:26Sam Morril?

  Well, probably that's a better move, cause it didn't work.

• 1:50:28Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:50:29Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:50:29Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:50:31Sam Morril?

  Let me take.

• 1:50:31Mark Normand?

  Both went up and down with the spray. These are French people doing this? Yeah. Got a lot of fucking nerve. That's ironic, right? Lot of balls. Lot of balls, but yeah, I thought that was interesting. And I've been on an African flight, and it stinks.

• 1:50:46Mark Normand?

  I'll tell you right now. But yeah, it didn't work.

• 1:50:49Sam Morril?

  That is crazy, nah, it didn't work.

• 1:50:50Speaker 04

  That's crazy, I mean like, also.

• 1:50:52Sam Morril?

  It worked for like a day, and then they were like, eh, fuck it.

• 1:50:54Speaker 04

  In a comedy setting, you should be able to like, buddy, you know, we all call really, it's like balls in strike, hey buddy, you gotta fuck.

• 1:51:00Sam Morril?

  Well, it's a hard thing to.

• 1:51:00Speaker 04

  Little, little.

• 1:51:02Sam Morril?

  You don't wanna do it in a group, because it's, it's kinda like, oh, that's kinda mean, and then if you pull someone aside, it's weird to be like, seriously, like, hey.

• 1:51:08Speaker 04

  I think the group gives you the buffer, you're breaking balls.

• 1:51:11Speaker 02

  It's wild.

• 1:51:11Speaker 04

  Oh dude, you gotta, hey, go get it, go hit the speed stick or something.

• 1:51:15Speaker 02

  See, somebody's got a booger or bad breath, I lay it on them, hey by the way, take a gum.

• 1:51:19Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:51:20Speaker 02

  Not you.

• 1:51:21Mark Normand?

  No, no, no.

• 1:51:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're playing along.

• 1:51:22Sam Morril?

  I remember we did a roast once and every joke about this comic was about how his breath stunk.

• 1:51:27Mark Normand?

  Halitosis, halitosis.

• 1:51:28Sam Morril?

  And he was like, he was like, at the end, he was like, why didn't anyone tell me?

• 1:51:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Shoot, shoot me straight.

• 1:51:33Sam Morril?

  Like, ah shit, we should have.

• 1:51:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, shoot me straight. This is seller comic who has bad breath every single time I talk to him. And it's like, one of those piercing where you're like, god damn, like, this is beyond. Like a bad tooth. Yeah, it's beyond a salad.

• 1:51:47Speaker 04

  This is BBO.

• 1:51:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, this is crazy, inner dick. Bacteria. Yes.

• 1:51:52Sam Morril?

  I want to know who this is.

• 1:51:53Mark Normand?

  I'll tell you later, but I, I always want to say something, but I'm like, if it's ongoing, it feels worse. Because it, it probably is some real problem.

• 1:52:01Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:52:01Mark Normand?

  Not just like a. But there's no way you can't cover that up. Like, hey, man.

• 1:52:04Sam Morril?

  Is there no way?

• 1:52:05Mark Normand?

  You go to the dentist? I don't know.

• 1:52:07Sam Morril?

  But some people might just have bad breath, I don't know.

• 1:52:09Mark Normand?

  It's like a rat in the walls. You gotta get in there. You know what I mean? Hey buddy, you got a rat in the walls.

• 1:52:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. That's great. Hey, that could work. Yeah, yeah. Rat in the wall, it's funny. Wow, so the guy still stinks.

• 1:52:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's not great. Good guy, though.

• 1:52:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:26Speaker 04

  That's wild.

• 1:52:27Sam Morril?

  That's alright.

• 1:52:27Mark Normand?

  Good guy, friend of yours?

• 1:52:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's a friend, yeah.

• 1:52:29Mark Normand?

  Tell him.

• 1:52:30Sam Morril?

  I will.

• 1:52:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:31Sam Morril?

  You've convinced me.

• 1:52:32Mark Normand?

  Just have him watch this. Was it a cult?

• 1:52:33Sam Morril?

  Cut to, I tell him, I just hear a gunshot at the other, other end of the phone, I'm like, oh, fuck.

• 1:52:39Speaker 04

  Well, a phone call would be weird. Somebody calls you and tells you you stink. From fucking thirty blocks away, you really stink.

• 1:52:44Mark Normand?

  Intervention.

• 1:52:45Sam Morril?

  We gotta talk.

• 1:52:46Mark Normand?

  That's funny. Uh, that'd be a funny, uh, sketch. Intervention for like stupid shit, like get BO.

• 1:52:52Sam Morril?

  You smell bad?

• 1:52:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:54Sam Morril?

  What, what were you gonna say?

• 1:52:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, I've told this story before, but you know the comic James Smith?

• 1:52:58Sam Morril?

  I love James, yeah.

• 1:53:00Mark Normand?

  He's a ball busted, mean, son of a bitch. He was very blunt.

• 1:53:05Sam Morril?

  But we, but, but he was one of those negative guys that wasn't draining. He was fun.

• 1:53:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know him.

• 1:53:09Mark Normand?

  Underrated comic, killer comic.

• 1:53:11Sam Morril?

  He's in Sydney, Australia now. We, we, we had good hangs with him, man. Good jokes.

• 1:53:15Mark Normand?

  Killer comic, really funny, but I got, we had a couple of drinks at the cellar, we got in a cab to go to a house party. And the cabbie, of course, cliche, smelled like shit. Smelled like BO. Crazy BO. It was like coming through the glass. BBO. And I go, oh, man, this guy stinks. It was like, you know, head out the window stink. And he goes, "Hey mate, you smell like shit. What the fuck's wrong with you? Take a shower mate? You're working, you're in a car all night? You smell like shit? You're gonna hurt your customers? You're getting no tips?" Or whatever, he's just being funny. And the guy was like, "Fuck you, fuck you." So I'm like so uncomfortable because this Australian guy's yelling at this like crazy African Ugandan guy. And he did not take it well. So you never know. Some people get mad about that shit.

• 1:53:59Speaker 02

  Let him get mad, then he go home and take a shower.

• 1:54:02Speaker 04

  I don't think, I don't think that guy showered.

• 1:54:03Speaker 02

  You don't think?

• 1:54:04Speaker 04

  I mean, he ain't showered.

• 1:54:06Sam Morril?

  Those guys just, they were crazy shit.

• 1:54:08Speaker 02

  You feel better after a shower? You wanna take a shower? Put on some fresh deodorant?

• 1:54:12Sam Morril?

  Are you a morning shower guy? Do you wake up and shower? Do you do it before you go out at night?

• 1:54:15Speaker 02

  I do it at all times, but usually in the morning.

• 1:54:17Speaker 04

  Same.

• 1:54:18Speaker 02

  I mean, I'll go to bed a little ripe.

• 1:54:19Speaker 04

  Same. I can't, I'd rather shower at night. If I'm like that, unless it's like I'm getting home, unless I need to be quiet at the house. For like whatever, re-sleeping, babysitting, but it's like, I'd, yeah.

• 1:54:30Speaker 02

  You get a better night's sleep for sure.

• 1:54:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I started doing that on the road. We get back from the bar and I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna fucking jump in the shower. And you wake up, you feel better, it just...

• 1:54:40Speaker 02

  Shut it down.

• 1:54:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, shut it down.

• 1:54:41Mark Normand?

  You know what gets me is the winter, you do the coat all day. So then it's just, it's just a hot box in your torso, you know? And then you get, you get home, you're like, "God damn, I showered and I still..." But it's just, you're cooking your pits for 12 hours.

• 1:54:55Speaker 04

  Cooking the pits.

• 1:54:56Speaker 02

  Lightweight jacket.

• 1:54:58Speaker 04

  Casual jacket.

• 1:54:59Mark Normand?

  Fucking on January here in New York. You need a goose down.

• 1:55:05Speaker 02

  Heavy bike.

• 1:55:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so...

• 1:55:07Speaker 02

  I'm a Canadian goose.

• 1:55:08Mark Normand?

  Good to have you, James.

• 1:55:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, let him go, I like it.

• 1:55:10Mark Normand?

  Set the world straight.

• 1:55:11Sam Morril?

  We love you, James.

• 1:55:12Mark Normand?

  Now here's the question. Is this equality? Because I would go, "Ah, he's an African guy, I'm not gonna say, or he's a Muslim guy."

• 1:55:19Speaker 02

  What does that have to do with anything?

• 1:55:20Mark Normand?

  I agree, but we do that.

• 1:55:21Sam Morril?

  Well, culturally, some groups do smell worse.

• 1:55:23Speaker 02

  Who? I don't want to name names.

• 1:55:25Mark Normand?

  Ah, you see, you won't name them.

• 1:55:26Speaker 02

  Okay, but what is in the, there's nothing in the text of culture that says, hey, you gotta smell bad.

• 1:55:32Mark Normand?

  Now, this is a good pick.

• 1:55:33Speaker 04

  No, but they just don't wear, they don't wear deodorant, right?

• 1:55:35Speaker 02

  Is that because?

• 1:55:36Speaker 04

  I just, and-

• 1:55:36Speaker 02

  That can't, we're, we're in any of the books that say, play off the Old Spice.

• 1:55:41Speaker 04

  I don't think, I mean, we don't have a book about American culture. There's no book, there's, it's just like, we all have decided that we wear Old Spice. Everybody wears deodorant.

• 1:55:50Sam Morril?

  It's good to wear-

• 1:55:51Speaker 04

  In India, they don't do that.

• 1:55:52Sam Morril?

  There's also hippies who wear the natural deodorant shit, and that, that doesn't work.

• 1:55:56Speaker 02

  That petrol-

• 1:55:57Sam Morril?

  If you were, if you were in Toms of manes, stay away from me, okay?

• 1:56:01Speaker 04

  You need some aluminum in there.

• 1:56:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:56:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Something that our-

• 1:56:05Speaker 02

  You know what works pretty good, and I think it's pretty natural, is, uh, Native.

• 1:56:08Mark Normand?

  Easy. You gotta get savage deodorant.

• 1:56:12Speaker 04

  But there would be the argument that if you went over to, if you were-

• 1:56:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:56:15Speaker 04

  If you were a cab driver in India and you smelled like fucking Vanilla Sky Axe Body Spray, they'd get in and be like, dude, this car stinks. Like fucking shit. Why don't you go home and take a shower?

• 1:56:26Sam Morril?

  They should make it like a, a deodorant, it should be like a yellow checkered colored, uh, case, and it should just say 18 hour shift.

• 1:56:31Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 1:56:32Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:56:33Sam Morril?

  I'd buy that. I'd be like, this is gonna work for 18 hours?

• 1:56:35Speaker 04

  Your fucking business hat on today.

• 1:56:36Mark Normand?

  You would, but they won't. They're not buying that.

• 1:56:37Sam Morril?

  Well, a hat on. Don Draper. You're driving a cab for 18 hours.

• 1:56:41Mark Normand?

  You know what else?

• 1:56:42Sam Morril?

  You smell like shit.

• 1:56:43Speaker 04

  You're Indian.

• 1:56:43Mark Normand?

  You get it for other people. Like, and they go to a cab and you just smear it on the glass, and now you're smelling good. Like, the whole cab smelling good.

• 1:56:50Sam Morril?

  You can bring a little travel, uh, Lysol.

• 1:56:52Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:56:53Sam Morril?

  Febreeze, whatever.

• 1:56:53Speaker 02

  There, there should be a milder version of the stuff that every cop puts on when they walk into the, the-

• 1:56:58Mark Normand?

  Smelling shit.

• 1:56:58Speaker 02

  The, um, uh, coroner's office.

• 1:57:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, we found him in the river. They, they do that.

• 1:57:04Mark Normand?

  Genius.

• 1:57:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:05Sam Morril?

  Damn, you'd be a good cop, dude. You hear that delivery?

• 1:57:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:08Sam Morril?

  You'd be a good fucking cop.

• 1:57:09Mark Normand?

  Hey, I could've done that on the road when I was eating ass. Just a little, uh, just to give me that, that gel.

• 1:57:15Speaker 02

  Take care of it.

• 1:57:16Speaker 04

  A little mineral ice.

• 1:57:18Mark Normand?

  Bee holes, it really.

• 1:57:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah. What was, what was his name?

• 1:57:22Speaker 02

  Why'd you still go in?

• 1:57:24Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:57:25Sam Morril?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:57:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was a shooter.

• 1:57:27Sam Morril?

  That was, that was a-

• 1:57:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, that thing was a mini-

• 1:57:29Speaker 04

  I'm gonna need some of that stuff now.

• 1:57:31Sam Morril?

  I love that we're talking about smelly stuff. We're like, you know what hates me smelly stuff? Mark's just like, pfft.

• 1:57:36Mark Normand?

  Woo, I need a fix.

• 1:57:37Speaker 02

  I feel like those rippers never really smelled that bad.

• 1:57:40Sam Morril?

  Like a ripper like that.

• 1:57:41Speaker 04

  Oh, mine.

• 1:57:42Sam Morril?

  No, those are usually, those are, your farts are more for comic effect than stench, I suppose.

• 1:57:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:57:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, when I can, when mine come out with no sound.

• 1:57:49Mark Normand?

  Look out, run.

• 1:57:50Speaker 04

  You got that right.

• 1:57:51Sam Morril?

  Phew. I just hear a. When you set a bomb off in an elevator and you're like, fuck.

• 1:57:56Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:57:57Sam Morril?

  And then again, someone hits another floor, you're like, fuck.

• 1:57:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:58:00Sam Morril?

  Get me out of here.

• 1:58:01Mark Normand?

  The clock is ticking.

• 1:58:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, hot box.

• 1:58:04Sam Morril?

  That's funny. Oh, man, we should fucking wrap this. We've been on.

• 1:58:07Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, jeez, we've been going.

• 1:58:08Sam Morril?

  Gold beans. Well, we'll get, plug some dates. You guys are, I mean, obviously, you guys know the Are You Garbage Pod. They're the best.

• 1:58:14Speaker 04

  Our tour is starting up. We're going to be in, uh, at the end of September, September 23rd, we're hitting, uh, San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle.

• 1:58:22Mark Normand?

  Ooh, I know the bucket.

• 1:58:23Sam Morril?

  Gonna be on the coast for a couple of weeks, boys.

• 1:58:24Speaker 04

  Boston, Atlanta, Raleigh, North Carolina, a bunch of, a bunch of dates, uh, Philadelphia. We're doing the Met in Philadelphia, get them tickets.

• 1:58:31Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 1:58:32Speaker 04

  The boys are coming home. Chickens are coming home to roost. Who's having sex with the hen?

• 1:58:37Sam Morril?

  Rooster have sex with everybody. Yeah.

• 1:58:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, check out, check out the show.

• 1:58:42Mark Normand?

  Toronto. Man, you guys are everywhere. I love it.

• 1:58:44Speaker 04

  We're trying.

• 1:58:46Mark Normand?

  All right, all.

• 1:58:46Speaker 04

  Tickets are slow.

• 1:58:48Sam Morril?

  Let's go! It's been, it's hard times. When are we starting this? Yeah, so let's.

• 1:58:51Speaker 04

  Saudi Arabia.

• 1:58:54Speaker 04

  Christ.

• 1:58:54Mark Normand?

  That's over.

• 1:58:55Sam Morril?

  Milan, Dublin. You did that already? Liverpool.

• 1:58:57Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:58:58Sam Morril?

  It's coming. London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Salt Lake City, baby. Five shows back for the second time this year. Reno, Nevada, and Carnegie Hall.

• 1:59:08Speaker 04

  Woo!

• 1:59:09Sam Morril?

  Carnegie Hall. December 4th, baby. Can't wait. Look at that, Carnegie Hall. Don't hate it.

• 1:59:15Mark Normand?

  Nothing wrong with that?

• 1:59:16Sam Morril?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:59:17Mark Normand?

  Uh-oh. Where the hell am I? A hell stinky funny bone. Holy hell. Stockholm, Chuckle Hut, Dublin, Ireland, at the Vicker Street Valley Center, we're in Baltimore at Magoobie.

• 1:59:28Sam Morril?

  There you go.

• 1:59:28Mark Normand?

  Known as Timonium, gotta build a new hour. Lincoln Theater in DC, Kodak Center in Rochester, Niagara Falls, San Diego, and Pryor Lake at the Casino, Minneapolis, coming in for a cash grab.

• 1:59:42Speaker 04

  Oh, that hit in the ATM machine.

• 1:59:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, pay me in a, in a check and give it to me a week later, so I don't gamble. Well, all right, folks, you got the garbage guys, you know where to find them, get some Bodega Cat.

• 1:59:53Sam Morril?

  Bodega Cat Whiskey dot com, DM our, uh, Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram. Matt, we'll get back to you. We love you guys.

• 1:59:59Mark Normand?

  Garage beer sucks.

• 2:00:00Sam Morril?

  Get out of here.

• 2:00:01Speaker 04

  Sweet tag, cut it, dump it.

• 2:00:02Sam Morril?

  Garage beer's rules. We love you guys.

• 2:00:04Speaker 04

  Scandals and animals.

• 2:00:05Sam Morril?

  All right.

• 2:00:06Speaker 05

  Sunday's the day for my next offender. I bit a pivo wreck, you know the fear juice close. I've had a little too much bourbon, and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope. And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's coming, and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way. We might be true.

• 2:00:52Speaker 06

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, theHouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.