Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook! About this episode Are You Garbage presents comedians and podcast hosts Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook! We're talkin' dateline murders, living in the woods, and buying property as a couple. You know Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook from stand up comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony Podcast, Pretend Problems Podcast, Your Mom's House, Somethings Burning, Soder Podcast, Whiskey Ginger and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
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Transcript 13,621 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 H. Foley? Gang, the 2025 edition of the Are You Garbage card game, third edition is on sale right now at areyougarbage.com. Play it with your friends, play with your family, and see who is trash.
0:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here. Was your babysitter a man?
0:14 H. Foley? Yes, he was.
0:15 Speaker 01 Hit me. Ever been run over? How you doing?
0:16 H. Foley? Yes, I have.
0:17 Speaker 01 Can you pick up stuff with your toes?
0:19 H. Foley? Yes, I can.
0:21 Speaker 01 Gang, available at areyougarbage.com, and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on board.
0:26 Speaker 02 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
0:45 H. Foley? Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
0:50 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
0:51 H. Foley? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out they're good to be classy.
0:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:55 H. Foley? Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
0:57 Speaker 01 Trash, trash, trash.
0:58 H. Foley? I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new addition. She's over in the kitchen having a bowl of crackle and oat bran.
1:05 Speaker 01 Okay, that's it?
1:06 H. Foley? Slow morning. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's an international businessman, and my best pal in the whole wide world, give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
1:17 Speaker 01 What up, gang? How you doing? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video of it now available on Spotify as well. And then, obviously, patreon.com/areyougarbage. Check it out.
1:30 H. Foley? Yes, sir. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have two incredibly special guests back with us again today. Both very funny comedians. They're a power couple. Midwestern power couple, People Magazine's calling them.
1:41 Speaker 01 Not too shabby in the bedroom either, I hear.
1:44 H. Foley? Fish and Game called them. Ooh, that's hot. Give it up for Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook, everybody.
1:51 H. Foley? Thank you for coming out, guys. We appreciate you. As I was saying before, you're the third couple on the show. You guys have your podcast Pretend Problems. Kelsey has a special out on Hulu and YouTube. Mark your territory. And of course, Mr. Daniels has a special out on Netflix, Empty Nestor.
2:06 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
2:06 H. Foley? Two of the funniest.
2:07 Speaker 03 Aww.
2:08 H. Foley? Two of the best.
2:08 Speaker 03 That's so nice, guys. Thank you.
2:10 H. Foley? Absolutely. We appreciate you guys being here.
2:12 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
2:13 Speaker 03 Well, we're super stoked. You said you were the third couple, but you also had Tom and Christina separately.
2:17 Speaker 01 Tom and Christina separately.
2:18 H. Foley? Yes.
2:19 Speaker 03 Okay.
2:19 Speaker 01 Which I don't know how those two work together. It's a very, they're a very unique pairing.
2:23 H. Foley? Crazy.
2:23 Speaker 01 Every other couple we've had kind of makes sense.
2:25 H. Foley? Yeah.
2:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2:26 H. Foley? She's trash. Which you guys were both trash.
2:30 Speaker 03 Through and through.
2:31 H. Foley? We concluded.
2:32 Speaker 04 Without doubt.
2:32 H. Foley? And now you've teamed up like a garbage Voltron.
2:37 Speaker 03 Mega trash.
2:38 Speaker 01 To get letters from the HOA, I'm sure.
2:41 H. Foley? How long have you guys been living together?
2:44 Speaker 03 Hmm, just over two years.
2:45 H. Foley? Two years?
2:46 Speaker 03 Yep.
2:46 H. Foley? And who moved into where?
2:48 Speaker 01 Or did you get a new place together?
2:51 Speaker 03 We got a new place together.
2:52 Speaker 01 Very smart. That's not what dirtbags typically do.
2:55 Speaker 03 True, but I did, I moved from Spokane, which is trash capital of America, I feel, uh, to Minnesota to live with him. So, he moved-
3:06 Speaker 04 And I drove two and a half hours southeast.
3:10 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. That's a lot of compromise.
3:12 Speaker 04 She did the moving. Yeah, I was like, here's how it's gonna go.
3:14 H. Foley? Spokane to Minnesota, talk about a lateral move.
3:18 Speaker 03 A lot of change.
3:20 H. Foley? They probably thought you were moving to Paris or something like that.
3:22 Speaker 03 I know.
3:23 Speaker 04 It's a Delta hub. It's a Delta hub.
3:25 Speaker 01 That's what Midwest people say.
3:26 Speaker 04 We're traveling. It's only three hours to everywhere.
3:29 H. Foley? Fair enough.
3:31 Speaker 01 I think I've been working the road a while.
3:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, no shit.
3:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, big road dog.
3:35 Speaker 01 Which, one thing I did want to ask, who, I saw you guys, you posted your Instagram stories yesterday or whatever, and I noticed you guys were traveling together.
3:42 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
3:43 Speaker 01 Uh, who has a better status?
3:47 Speaker 03 He is, okay, for being as garbage as he is, he is truly-
3:52 Speaker 04 Whoa.
3:53 Speaker 03 He is a prince in disguise. He is Delta 360.
3:56 Speaker 01 What?
3:57 H. Foley? Wait, what's that?
3:58 Speaker 01 That's like, yeah, it's like 5 million miles or something. Isn't that crazy?
4:01 H. Foley? He's been touring for 40 years. What are you talking about?
4:04 Speaker 01 I've tried to buy it. You can't buy it. That's how-
4:06 Speaker 04 It is invite only.
4:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, he's the motherfucker that walks by me as I'm waiting.
4:11 Speaker 04 It's, uh, so this surprised me one day. I was gonna miss my flight because the connection, we were delayed, and there was a woman right outside the plane, not outside the jet bridge, right outside the plane-
4:22 H. Foley? Gotcha.
4:23 Speaker 04 Where you drop your luggage if you check it.
4:24 H. Foley? Where they put the people in the wheelchair.
4:26 Speaker 04 Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
4:27 Speaker 01 Always jealous of them.
4:30 Speaker 01 These motherfuckers got it so good.
4:32 H. Foley? Can I get a ride up the hill?
4:36 H. Foley? Send me running to the store real quick, huh?
4:38 Speaker 01 Only fat guy would call that the hill.
4:42 Speaker 04 But she had my name on a, on a card and then I went down the luggage stairs to a Porsche.
4:47 Speaker 03 Outside.
4:48 Speaker 04 Outside to a Porsche.
4:49 Speaker 01 I've seen that.
4:50 Speaker 04 And they, they send you across the tarmac. You don't have to go through the...
4:53 Speaker 01 To catch your connection.
4:54 Speaker 04 You don't have to go in with all the pores and walk around them.
4:56 H. Foley? Do you have to walk across the tarmac?
4:57 Speaker 04 No, no, no. They bring you in the Porsche.
4:59 H. Foley? In a Porsche?
5:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's like a Porsche.
5:01 H. Foley? A Porsche?
5:01 Speaker 01 Yes, I've seen it. I've seen people do it before. Famous people.
5:05 H. Foley? Man.
5:06 Speaker 03 It's crazy.
5:07 Speaker 04 I don't know how I got invited.
5:09 Speaker 03 This is a man...
5:10 H. Foley? That's a lot for a guy on his way to the comedy zone. I like it.
5:15 Speaker 04 Wait a second. You think I could work the comedy zone? Harrisburg, not the main one. Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
5:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, this is a man who dips his roast beef sandwiches in ketchup, like a pond of ketchup, and he's getting driven gate to gate in a Porsche. It's such a weird dichotomy.
5:32 Speaker 01 But that's what, that's what makes comedy great is like the biggest dirtbag can be like, "Yeah, drive me to my plane in a Porsche, please."
5:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:39 Speaker 04 Roast beef is a red meat.
5:41 Speaker 01 That's a lot of beef.
5:42 H. Foley? Hey, I'm with you on that. You don't do an au jus? Wait, you said roast beef sandwich, right?
5:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, there's, there's been no...
5:48 H. Foley? Hot roast beef or cold?
5:49 Speaker 03 Hot.
5:49 Speaker 04 I warm it up. I toast the bread. I melt the cheese.
5:52 Speaker 01 You're making this at home?
5:53 Speaker 04 Sure.
5:53 Speaker 01 Okay.
5:54 H. Foley? All right, hold on, back this up. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Slow down a second. We're gonna get into all this.
5:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:59 H. Foley? But since you brought up roast beef.
6:02 H. Foley? You go to the store.
6:03 Speaker 04 I go to the store.
6:04 H. Foley? Okay. What's the usual lunch meat order? And is that what you guys call it?
6:08 Speaker 04 She gets turkey.
6:09 H. Foley? Okay.
6:10 Speaker 03 She gets turkey.
6:10 Speaker 04 I just call it meat.
6:12 H. Foley? Meat?
6:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:13 H. Foley? You just call it meat?
6:14 Speaker 04 Well, I don't wanna, I don't wanna put it in a corner and go, "I'm only having you at lunch." Right? So you'll just go, you'll go get sliced meats. I go, "I might eat you at midnight. You might be midnight meat. We don't know."
6:24 H. Foley? But what would you say is in the fridge?
6:26 Speaker 03 Midnight meat is also a Patreon tier.
6:29 Speaker 04 I think, I think sandwich meat.
6:31 H. Foley? Sandwich meat?
6:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:32 H. Foley? Wow, that's very old school. Lunch meat is the gentleman's term.
6:38 Speaker 04 Lunch meat, okay.
6:39 Speaker 01 And let's pull this back one more step. What grocery store are you guys going together now? The new location, what's that grocery store?
6:46 Speaker 03 It's usually Whole Foods.
6:47 Speaker 01 Okay.
6:47 H. Foley? Really?
6:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:48 H. Foley? Very nice.
6:49 Speaker 03 Thanks.
6:50 H. Foley? And where are we at in Minnesota? Are we near Minneapolis?
6:53 Speaker 03 Yeah, we're near Min...
6:53 H. Foley? Okay.
6:54 Speaker 03 We're in the cities.
6:55 H. Foley? Roughly, we're in the ci... a suburb.
6:57 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
6:57 H. Foley? Okay, of the Twin Cities.
6:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:59 H. Foley? All right, not bad. Shopping at Whole Foods.
7:03 Speaker 01 Are you doing the name brand, Turk? What's the order when you go, you'll say, "Let me get..."
7:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's like the Applegate.
7:10 Speaker 01 App- oh, I know what you're talking about. That's tight.
7:13 Speaker 04 There's only one roast beef, it doesn't have the label on it. You just say, "I'd like some roast beef."
7:17 Speaker 01 Okay.
7:18 H. Foley? I think they do it there.
7:19 Speaker 04 But it comes with blood.
7:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:20 Speaker 04 So you know it's good.
7:21 Speaker 03 They do it there, yeah.
7:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, they do it there.
7:22 Speaker 04 They haven't cooked out the blood.
7:23 Speaker 01 So that's what you get? You're a roast beef man when it comes to deli meats?
7:27 Speaker 04 I get roast beef, I put that on a little plate.
7:30 Speaker 01 Okay.
7:31 Speaker 04 And I put that in the microwave.
7:32 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
7:33 Speaker 04 For 30 seconds. Then I add my cheese for 30 more seconds. I don't like my cheese to be too hot. American.
7:39 Speaker 01 American. Goddamn patriot.
7:41 Speaker 04 Citizen. Pay my taxes. Pay my taxes, so I eat the cheese. And then I toast the bread, and then sometimes when I'm getting crazy, I'll make some mushrooms, saute some mushrooms.
7:51 Speaker 01 Really?
7:52 Speaker 04 Throw that on there, and then I slice it, and then I dip all that masterpiece in ketchup.
7:56 Speaker 01 Wow, alright, I'm with Kelsey now. Once you add it to mushrooms, to dip that in ketchup is weird.
8:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:04 H. Foley? And theoretically, it should be Swiss cheese if you're putting it on roast beef. Just saying, as far as like fat guy rules. It would have to be Swiss.
8:12 Speaker 01 Which we play by here. I don't know if you've gotten the handbook, we play by fat guy rules.
8:16 H. Foley? This guy's making a French dip with American cheese.
8:18 Speaker 03 I know. Chad'll die surrounded by Kraft singles. It's, you can't get him away from them.
8:22 Speaker 01 Is that what it is?
8:23 Speaker 04 It's also a freedom dip, brother.
8:27 Speaker 04 That's why I put American cheese on it, dude.
8:29 Speaker 01 Take my liberty sandwich, please?
8:30 Speaker 04 Hello?
8:32 H. Foley? Wait, hold on.
8:32 Speaker 01 These are Kraft singles you're doing that with? Or like single?
8:36 Speaker 04 No, I'll do like, what is it, Sargento? Is that a brand of cheese?
8:39 H. Foley? That's what you're getting?
8:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:40 Speaker 01 This guy's mixing countries.
8:41 H. Foley? Wait, hold on.
8:42 Speaker 01 Put a couple tariffs on this fucking guy.
8:46 H. Foley? You're not getting the cheese at the deli counter, too? Like, give me a pound of American.
8:52 Speaker 04 If it's pre-sliced, I'm not asking for it. Takes too long, they gotta wash the thing, they gotta go to a different slicer.
8:57 Speaker 01 I respect that. Sometimes they'll have it pre-sliced and wrapped there.
8:59 Speaker 04 I like to go in and out on this grocery shopping.
9:02 H. Foley? Who's doing, are we doing this together?
9:05 Speaker 03 Well, we'll do it together sometimes if one of them, one of us is near it, then we'll just go do it by ourselves, but...
9:10 H. Foley? The whole order, or how often? How long of a days are you guys shopping? Because you're both working, you're both traveling.
9:17 Speaker 03 Yeah. I don't know. We do try to get in and out. Chad is...
9:21 Speaker 01 I would peg Chad as not a cart kind of guy. Do you grab a cart and go?
9:26 H. Foley? Basket guy.
9:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, sometimes basket, sometimes I go mini cart she's with, depends on what we're gonna get. I never go full cart.
9:33 H. Foley? Never go full cart.
9:35 Speaker 01 I'm the same way.
9:36 Speaker 04 What am I planning for a fucking month?
9:38 Speaker 01 Sure.
9:38 Speaker 04 I'm on the road, I gotta work.
9:39 H. Foley? Mini cart.
9:40 Speaker 01 I put most stuff in my arm, like I, I.
9:42 Speaker 03 You do it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:43 Speaker 01 My dad instilled in me that you, only ladies use carts.
9:46 Speaker 03 Oh my god.
9:47 Speaker 01 So I'm very much like, it's under, I got like a, you know.
9:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
9:50 Speaker 01 A banana in my ass, or whatever, you know.
9:52 Speaker 03 Sometimes I'm going by myself more often now because Chad has, his spazzes in public are kind of off the charts and a woman.
10:01 H. Foley? Wait, really?
10:02 Speaker 01 For the listeners that don't know Chad, he's what I would call a little bit of a loose cannon. Man with a set of principles.
10:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:09 Speaker 01 I think that's fair to say.
10:10 Speaker 03 Look at his face right now.
10:11 Speaker 04 Follow the fucking rules. How hard is that?
10:14 Speaker 01 I'm right there with you, big guy.
10:16 H. Foley? He lives by a roast beef code.
10:17 Speaker 04 Follow the fucking rules.
10:18 Speaker 01 Hey, I'm on your side.
10:20 Speaker 04 Oh, it's unbelievable.
10:21 Speaker 01 Okay.
10:22 H. Foley? Alright, hold on, let's back this up. We're gonna, let's get more into the grocery store, but first the travel. How was the traveling to, how is the traveling together? Cause theoretically, you're both seasoned comics, you both travel a lot for business.
10:35 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
10:36 H. Foley? So that usually keeps people on the same page, cause we have the trouble now, that when we don't, when we travel as a group, we travel.
10:42 Speaker 01 Like assassins.
10:43 H. Foley? It's like the A-team, we're.
10:44 Speaker 01 You would be, you would be very impressed, we're fucking, no waiting, no nothing, in and out.
10:49 Speaker 04 You don't have any luggage, you're just carrying your stuff in your ass.
10:52 Speaker 01 I got my deodorant in my mouth.
10:53 Speaker 04 Yep.
10:54 H. Foley? But sometimes we're finding now that when we do bring the significant others or family involved in our travel, it's like, what the fuck? It's like they've never been in an airport before.
11:04 Speaker 03 Oh god.
11:05 H. Foley? You guys don't really have that.
11:05 Speaker 03 People going through with giant things of liquids, is this?
11:08 Speaker 01 My wife, my wife will get caught with five different water bottles.
11:11 Speaker 03 Oh my god.
11:12 Speaker 01 The joke is not if she's gonna get caught, they, they flag her thing and I go, I bet it's about three. She goes, I didn't even remember this one.
11:18 Speaker 04 I got my backpack pulled on the way here because I had wooden, a wooden version of brass knuckles.
11:23 Speaker 01 That makes sense though, dude.
11:25 Speaker 04 Why?
11:25 Speaker 01 Is that, that's probably illegal, no?
11:27 Speaker 04 In case somebody gives me shit about a roast beef sandwich, I don't know.
11:30 Speaker 01 He puts it on, cracks his neck real quick.
11:32 H. Foley? Wooden knuckles.
11:33 Speaker 01 Wait, is that like a, a weapon, or is that like a trinket?
11:36 Speaker 04 It was a trinket gift.
11:37 Speaker 01 Okay.
11:37 Speaker 04 Yeah, from Hilarities.
11:39 Speaker 01 Ah.
11:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, Nick, Nick at Hilarities.
11:43 H. Foley? Did they confiscate it?
11:44 Speaker 04 No, he had to call over a manager, who couldn't turn her neck, she had to turn like a full robot, and she goes, "I don't know, that's fine with me." And then he put it back in my bag.
11:55 Speaker 03 And here we are.
11:55 Speaker 01 Could it do some damage, you think?
11:57 Speaker 04 Probably. I mean, more than my knuckles, yeah.
11:59 Speaker 01 Sure, okay.
12:00 H. Foley? Well, definitely scratch.
12:02 Speaker 03 A little splinter in your cheek.
12:04 H. Foley? A little Murphy's oil soap on that, you'll be alright.
12:08 H. Foley? Okay, punch you in the face, give me a splinter.
12:12 H. Foley? So you guys should move pretty well together through the airport.
12:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:17 H. Foley? Any complaints on either part?
12:20 Speaker 03 So Chad is a very efficient man. My complaints are just always, he has such a low tolerance for anybody's nonsense.
12:29 H. Foley? My man.
12:29 Speaker 03 Anybody not-
12:31 Speaker 01 The no look fist bump was great.
12:32 Speaker 03 Anybody doing something that he just feels like they should have been raised better?
12:38 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
12:38 Speaker 03 Which, I mean, like, you're in an airport, you're on a plane, you're gonna run into-
12:42 H. Foley? Yeah.
12:43 Speaker 03 Raccoon people. It's just like, this is the nature-
12:45 H. Foley? I'm there.
12:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, Foley's there. It's just how it is. So, I know you guys have kind of like an infamous fart story, right? With the Ozempic having-
12:55 Speaker 01 Sure, they were burps.
12:56 Speaker 03 Oh, burps, burps, that's right.
12:57 Speaker 01 It smelled like farts. The worst kind of, the worst kind of fart and/or burp.
13:01 H. Foley? I don't know why we gotta bring this up.
13:03 Speaker 03 Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13:04 Speaker 04 Is that ass smell coming out of your mouth?
13:06 Speaker 01 Took me two days to figure out what it was.
13:08 Speaker 03 So Chad and I were on a plane together last year, and somebody in our section would not stop farting.
13:15 H. Foley? Really?
13:16 Speaker 03 Like, I'm talking 30 straight minutes-
13:18 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
13:19 Speaker 04 Wow.
13:19 Speaker 03 Of ripping ass. Yeah, look at his pulse, just the PTSD from this. So, he at first, Chad, turned to me and was like, "Is that you?" Which I'm like, "Listen, come on."
13:29 Speaker 01 Accuse your lady for it?
13:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:32 Speaker 01 Yo, you ripping ass over here?
13:33 Speaker 04 But fair, right? I need information, because if it's her, I'm not gonna do anything.
13:37 Speaker 01 You have to go within the group first, and you know, it's like, when a wife gets murdered, they have to ask the husband. They gotta eliminate them as a suspect.
13:44 Speaker 03 For a suspect, yeah.
13:45 H. Foley? You're telling me it was a one-armed man?
13:49 Speaker 03 So this person keeps farting. Chad took his headphones off, got up a little bit, and shouted to our entire section, "Hey, you stink! Go to the bathroom and take care of it!"
14:05 Speaker 03 Wanted to flush myself out of the airplane toilet.
14:08 Speaker 01 I mean.
14:09 Speaker 03 I was hor- I'm just such a non-confrontational person and he's just so comfortable policing, like being a dad to anybody.
14:17 Speaker 01 For anybody.
14:17 H. Foley? What the flight attendants, did they come over anything?
14:20 Speaker 01 He hogtied them.
14:20 H. Foley? There's a man.
14:22 Speaker 01 They were all wrapped up in the seatbelt extenders.
14:24 H. Foley? There's a man shouting in the aisle, did that cause any attention from the crew?
14:28 Speaker 01 On a plane, you become the problem then. Like in that, the way they would go, we have an unruly man, you're allowed to fart. It's in your, last time I tell you it's America, you can eat whatever sandwich you want. You're allowed to fart on a plane.
14:39 Speaker 03 Right.
14:39 Speaker 04 Well, that's true. And I'm, I'm looking up on TikTok, a, a science video called, uh, smelling is tasting. So I can show it to everybody saying like,
14:49 Speaker 01 I'm tasting your ass.
14:50 Speaker 04 We're eating this man's shit.
14:51 Speaker 01 Okay.
14:52 Speaker 04 And so, uh, I'm just not into it.
14:55 Speaker 01 That's just not my bag, man.
14:56 Speaker 04 I'm not into somebody constant, you fart once, I get it, you fart twice, whatever.
14:59 Speaker 01 I don't disagree.
15:00 Speaker 04 But now it's a game for you and I don't want to play.
15:04 H. Foley? Something tells me that situation would have made it worse if you were showing TikTok to the flight attendant. As you're duct taped to the seat.
15:10 Speaker 01 I want to shake your hand. Uh, okay.
15:13 H. Foley? All right.
15:13 Speaker 01 All right, that, all right, um, hmm. You're both TSA pre-check?
15:17 Speaker 03 Yep.
15:18 Speaker 01 Do you, who has clear, do you both have clear, do you do that?
15:20 Speaker 03 Both have clear.
15:21 Speaker 01 Very good, very good. Hmm.
15:23 H. Foley? Who's picking or doing the, uh, the travel when you guys do stuff together professionally? Or when you do stuff, uh, vacation wise? Who would be handling that?
15:34 Speaker 04 I think it's both of us.
15:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, we both, we like figure out our flights, we figure out hotels together. Nobody's like, no, it's not one person taking charge.
15:41 Speaker 04 I will, I will tell you what, there was a time where she depended on upgrades.
15:46 H. Foley? Uh huh.
15:46 Speaker 04 To fly first class, I gotta tell you something.
15:49 Speaker 01 360 ain't doing that.
15:51 Speaker 03 He is not waiting for a fucking upgrade.
15:54 Speaker 04 You're up front every time.
15:55 Speaker 01 They're driving him in a motherfucking Porsche, you think they're gonna put him in Delta Comfort?
15:58 Speaker 04 Now, by the way, this is the only thing like this in my life. I don't have any of this other shit anywhere else in my life.
16:04 H. Foley? Did the, did the, did the fart situation happen in first class?
16:07 Speaker 03 Yes.
16:08 Speaker 01 Really? It might have been you.
16:12 Speaker 01 Just you burping. Were we going to Cincinnati?
16:17 H. Foley? I wasn't even on the plane.
16:18 Speaker 03 Just still in the ozone.
16:19 Speaker 01 Okay.
16:20 H. Foley? Really? Alright, that changes things a little bit.
16:22 Speaker 04 And there was one, there was one time where she did not get upgraded and it was a long flight. So I gave up my seat to go back to sit with her where they were dancing in the bottom of the Titanic.
16:35 Speaker 01 Bunch of Italians.
16:36 Speaker 04 And, uh, and I just looked at her and she said, oh my God, that's so nice. And I just said, but this is it. This is the one time.
16:42 Speaker 01 This is it. Yeah.
16:43 Speaker 04 And so now.
16:44 Speaker 03 He meant it.
16:45 Speaker 04 And so now.
16:46 H. Foley? Has it happened again?
16:48 Speaker 03 Oh, now I just, I just spend the money now.
16:50 H. Foley? Wow. Okay, good.
16:51 Speaker 03 Yep.
16:52 H. Foley? Alright.
16:53 Speaker 01 It's.
16:54 Speaker 03 We're both on a plane so much. You do start to notice like if you are sitting in main cabin, week after week, your neck gets so fucked up. You're not sleeping well.
17:02 Speaker 01 You're preaching to the fire.
17:04 Speaker 03 It's like.
17:04 Speaker 01 The second I got a credit card, I was like, I have never going back there.
17:07 Speaker 03 It's an investment in your health. It's, it's an investment in your health.
17:10 Speaker 04 I have rocked too many strangers' babies to sleep, to sit back.
17:15 Speaker 01 You would do that? You'd say, give me the baby?
17:16 Speaker 04 Sometimes they're like, I just don't know what to do. And I'm like, right here, come on.
17:20 H. Foley? While cursing at the parents for their poor parenting skills.
17:22 Speaker 04 Yeah, just like a baby crying is one thing. Fart, I'm gonna fucking scream at you.
17:27 Speaker 01 Okay.
17:27 H. Foley? Yeah, let's talk about OpenPhone.
17:29 Speaker 01 Open the phones.
17:30 H. Foley? Gang, if you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table.
17:35 Speaker 01 Cash.
17:36 H. Foley? We don't like to do that because we like the cash. When every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected. That's why you need OpenPhone.
17:48 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
17:48 H. Foley? OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communication.
17:54 Speaker 01 Yes, it works through an app on your phone or your computer. So you're not carrying around two, three phones. You got a landline, you're picking, hey, hold on, hold for Kippy, big man's on the line.
18:03 H. Foley? Like a drug dealer.
18:04 Speaker 01 Anybody got eyes on new guy Luca? You're not like one of those old operators plugging and going and plugging, sending, sending telegrams or whatever.
18:10 H. Foley? Mayberry 415.
18:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're not, uh, so whether you're a one-person operation drowning in calls or texts, or have a large team that needs better collabora- collaboration tools, OpenPhone is a no-brainer for you. See why over 50,000 businesses trust OpenPhone to manage their business calls and texts. Here's the turkey. OpenPhone is offering our listeners 20% off your first six months at openphone.com/garbage. That's openphone, O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E.com/garbage.
18:39 Speaker 01 And if you have existing numbers with another service, OpenPhone will port them over at no extra charge because they're good peeps. One more time, OpenPhone, no missed calls, no missed customers, do it. Yeah.
18:49 H. Foley? Okay, what about Light Strike, baby?
18:50 Speaker 01 Woo, shout out to Light Strike.
18:52 H. Foley? That's right. Listen up, all you party animals out there. The Two Bears 5K in Tampa, Florida on May 4th is sponsored by the first beverage built to outpace the party. Of course, we're talking about Light Strike. Hard refresher, an excellent source of 5% alcohol.
19:09 Speaker 01 Yes. Light Strike Hard Refresher is finally here and unlike any other alcohol the industry has ever seen, it isn't just a drink, it's a gosh darn survival tool, baby. It's the perfect party pacer. Why choose between fun and function? Now you ain't got to.
19:25 H. Foley? Hundred percent.
19:25 Speaker 01 This is a hydration drink inspired cocktail that low key brings its own self-care to the party with a crushable mix of coconut water, sea salt, and 5% alcohol by volume.
19:35 H. Foley? There you go.
19:36 Speaker 01 Talk about being efficient. Be efficient with Light Strike. They're striking quick. Light Strike.
19:41 H. Foley? Party harder, party longer.
19:43 Speaker 01 Uh, drink them cold or over ice and just watch how fast it disappears. It's a good time. Uh, they were kind enough to send us about 38 cases. I got that stuff coming out of my ears.
19:53 H. Foley? We're going through it.
19:54 Speaker 01 And the best thing is my wife thinks I'm just drinking. My wife thinks I'm working on my hydration.
19:58 H. Foley? Oh, look at him. Want to be drunk at the gym? Let's go.
20:01 Speaker 01 Learn more about Light Strike at drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram at Drink Life Strike. Life Strike Hard Refresher, an excellent source of 5% alcohol. Do it. Yeah. This is one thing that we've been doing on the show since you've both been here. Who, growing up, uh, in both of you individually, who was the first famous person you met? It could have, didn't have to be a, it's, you know, it could have been like a local radio guy, somebody you've seen in a commercial, a celebrity came to town, an athlete. When you were a kid, who jumps out at you?
20:30 Speaker 03 God, do you have one?
20:31 Speaker 04 I do.
20:31 Speaker 03 Go for it.
20:31 Speaker 04 Frank Viola, pitcher for the Minnesota Twins.
20:34 H. Foley? Wow, pretty good.
20:35 Speaker 04 He started the circle change and we waited behind the Metrodome at the time to get autographs.
20:41 H. Foley? He started the circle change?
20:43 Speaker 04 Circle change is a change-up where instead of just throwing it slower, you'd make a circle with your fingers.
20:49 H. Foley? Oh, the pitch, okay.
20:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, the pitch, yeah.
20:51 Speaker 01 That's a pretty good one.
20:52 H. Foley? It's very inside.
20:53 Speaker 01 Hanging out to get autographs.
20:54 H. Foley? I like it.
20:55 Speaker 01 Not bad.
20:56 H. Foley? That's respectable.
20:57 Speaker 01 Yours was probably like a foosball player or ping pong or something.
20:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know. My brain is scrambled from meeting, like, when I was young.
21:04 Speaker 01 Oh, your parents, essentially.
21:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, when I was young, meeting big foosball players, that was exciting to me, but I mean, that's not.
21:08 H. Foley? Give you an example of the name of a famous foosball player from back in the day.
21:12 Speaker 03 Oh, man. Well, Cindy Head is like...
21:15 Speaker 01 That's a good one.
21:16 Speaker 03 She's like an ex-cop from Alabama and she is the winningest person in foosball. She has the most championships of anybody in foosball. So, I mean, like, you grow up and you kind of hear about these people and then you meet them at a tournament.
21:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a celebrity to you, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:29 Speaker 03 When I was in college, I got to interview Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
21:33 H. Foley? Whoa!
21:34 Speaker 03 And that was very cool. I worked for like an ESPN affiliate in college for a little bit where you were like student reporting and that was...
21:42 Speaker 01 That's a great one. That's legit.
21:42 Speaker 03 That was like, oh my god, I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to talk to you. You're such a massive person and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I got a fucking little camcorder, I mean...
21:50 H. Foley? That's awesome.
21:51 Speaker 03 He was very nice.
21:52 H. Foley? Give these both a point for that.
21:53 Speaker 01 That's a really good one.
21:54 H. Foley? Right, not too shabby. Let's do the, um, the high school.
21:59 Speaker 01 Notable alum.
22:00 H. Foley? Notable alum.
22:01 Speaker 01 What was the name of the high school each one of you went to? We find out off your own Wikipedia's notable alum from that said institution.
22:08 Speaker 04 No chance.
22:08 Speaker 01 You'd be surprised.
22:10 Speaker 03 Cheney High School.
22:12 Speaker 01 Cheney?
22:12 Speaker 03 Cheney.
22:13 H. Foley? Can I get a spelling on that, please?
22:15 Speaker 01 You don't know how to spell Cheney?
22:16 Speaker 03 C-H-E-N-E-Y.
22:18 H. Foley? He was looking up Cindy Head.
22:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:25 Speaker 01 The pressure's on Luke right now.
22:29 Speaker 03 There can't be anybody.
22:29 H. Foley? Nothing?
22:30 Speaker 03 It's a fucking tumbleweed.
22:31 Speaker 05 We got two.
22:32 H. Foley? Who?
22:32 Speaker 05 We got an astronaut, Michael P. Anderson.
22:34 Speaker 01 That's a given.
22:35 Speaker 05 And then Steve Entman, a football player.
22:38 H. Foley? A football player?
22:38 Speaker 05 Yeah.
22:39 H. Foley? Alright.
22:39 Speaker 01 You should be on there.
22:40 H. Foley? How old was the astronaut? You didn't go to high school with an astronaut, did you?
22:43 Speaker 03 No, no, no. But I do remember, I think we have a gym named after him.
22:46 Speaker 05 Graduated in 77.
22:48 Speaker 01 Your age.
22:51 H. Foley? And what about Mr. Daniels?
22:52 Speaker 04 Fergus Falls, Minnesota.
22:55 Speaker 05 Found that one, comes up on your Wiki.
22:57 H. Foley? Really?
22:58 Speaker 01 It's gotta be linked.
22:59 Speaker 05 Only notable alum.
23:03 Speaker 04 I didn't, uh, that sucks.
23:04 H. Foley? He's got the 360.
23:06 Speaker 01 He's in there for being Delta 360, not a comedian.
23:10 H. Foley? Only guy in town ever riding a Porsche.
23:17 Speaker 01 Most run-ins with TSA and air marshals.
23:20 Speaker 04 Still not in the Hall of Fame, though, for that school.
23:23 Speaker 01 Really?
23:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, I had, uh...
23:25 Speaker 01 That's crazy.
23:26 Speaker 04 Well, I don't, I don't think it's crazy at all. I think it's like, you know, athletes and people that have gone on to actually do important things.
23:33 Speaker 01 Sure.
23:33 Speaker 04 I think that's what it is.
23:34 Speaker 01 Okay. But there's no other notable alums, so who could have, I mean, I mean, the, the bearer of entry isn't huge on there.
23:40 H. Foley? You know anybody off Ripton that went to your high school that was famous?
23:43 Speaker 04 Well, we had a couple of guys that played for the Twins, uh, Farm League. And then we had a guy that went to, we had a guy that went to West Point.
23:50 Speaker 01 That's in my class.
23:51 Speaker 04 A guy I graduated with, John Pontius, went to, uh, West Point and was like the face of their track and field because his, uh, triple jump was outrageous.
24:00 Speaker 01 Okay. Triple jump, my brother did that. I never understood that fucking thing.
24:03 H. Foley? What's triple jump?
24:04 Speaker 01 You like jump with your left foot, your left foot, then your right foot, it's fucking...
24:07 H. Foley? Into the sand?
24:08 Speaker 01 He, that's the long, yeah, but not the regular long jump. You like skip. That's the only way.
24:14 H. Foley? It's not the hurdles?
24:15 Speaker 01 Nope.
24:16 Speaker 03 It's like a power skip.
24:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:17 Speaker 03 It's a weird event.
24:19 H. Foley? Hurdles were tough for me.
24:22 H. Foley? Wasn't my event. No one is.
24:26 Speaker 03 The silence that followed that, we're like, okay.
24:28 Speaker 04 Just a lot of people yelling, "You're supposed to go over them."
24:31 H. Foley? He's eating it. They're raiding right through them. Um, okay, sticking to the travel. How's the hotel situation with you guys together? Are you guys a pretty good cohesive unit?
24:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, you know, there's like, we gotta navigate morning poops where it's like, I gotta go, don't go anywhere near there for 20 minutes. Like, we did, like, that's kind of the only thing that we have to coordinate, other than that, it's fine.
24:57 H. Foley? It's tough in hotel rooms. Yeah, hotel rooms are rough. Especially sometimes you get like that sliding door, you're like, what the fuck are we doing here?
25:02 Speaker 03 What is this? Yeah, frosted glass. I'm like, I don't need you seeing my silhouette as I shit at 8 a.m. This is horrifying way to start the day together.
25:10 H. Foley? You fight the t-shirt?
25:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:12 Speaker 04 And look at us. I'm one mistake away from being out of this relationship.
25:16 Speaker 03 Oh, my god.
25:17 H. Foley? Sure.
25:17 Speaker 03 Shut up.
25:18 Speaker 04 A foul shit I get nervous about.
25:21 H. Foley? He's yelling at her, "Take care of that." It's on that roast beef.
25:26 Speaker 03 Beef and ketchup.
25:27 H. Foley? Uh huh, okay. Do either of you guys unpack, this is a big Luke thing. Do you, either of you guys unpack your, uh, stuff when you're at a hotel? Will you put your, like, put it in the drawers or in the closet?
25:38 Speaker 03 No, we're not doing the drawers. I'll like occasionally hang up a shirt if it's gonna get really wrinkly, but...
25:44 H. Foley? Normal.
25:45 Speaker 03 I learned something about him yesterday, a really big germaphobe with the hotel carpet. Like, I set a pillow on the ground and he's like, that can't come back on the bed.
25:55 H. Foley? I wouldn't do that, yeah, I'm the same way.
25:56 Speaker 03 Interesting, interesting, yeah.
25:57 H. Foley? My pillow, they're all over the place.
26:01 H. Foley? You would not do well in a relationship. They usually, Mr. Daniels. They usually fall on the floor when I'm sleeping and I gotta reach down and grab it.
26:06 Speaker 03 Right, I know.
26:07 H. Foley? Cause I hug one.
26:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, no, I'll get a new room. I'll call down for a new room before I grab that pillow. It's because you take, I don't, you know, you're walking around, everything's fine. And then it's one crunch and I go, nope. I bring slippers, that's it.
26:23 H. Foley? You all fair, you all raw dogging on your feet?
26:26 Speaker 04 Uh uh, I bring slippers.
26:27 H. Foley? No kidding?
26:28 Speaker 04 Hotels, yeah. I can't do it.
26:29 Speaker 01 Man's being like you slippers. You're barking up the wrong tree. I apologize for my friend making fun of your slipper choice.
26:37 H. Foley? You don't wear slippers at the house, do you?
26:38 Speaker 01 I don't think they're Bugs Bunny.
26:39 H. Foley? You do.
26:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
26:41 Speaker 03 They're like, yeah, they're like Birkenstock.
26:42 Speaker 04 Well, she also brought two cats. And so.
26:46 Speaker 01 Wait, hold on.
26:47 H. Foley? You're joking, right?
26:48 Speaker 04 No.
26:49 Speaker 03 When I moved over to Minnesota, I had two cats.
26:51 H. Foley? I thought you meant on the trip.
26:52 Speaker 03 Oh, god, no.
26:54 Speaker 04 I mean, you might as well. So she brought them to the house.
26:57 Speaker 01 Did you drive her flying?
26:58 Speaker 03 I flew.
26:59 Speaker 01 You flew with the cats, okay.
27:00 Speaker 03 Yep, and he came, so we each had a cat. It was harrowing.
27:05 Speaker 01 That is a smudge on the 360.
27:08 Speaker 04 No shit.
27:10 Speaker 01 He's like, you don't know what this is fucking costing me.
27:12 H. Foley? You know what? We're down to 180, dude. Were you a cat person before?
27:18 Speaker 04 No.
27:19 H. Foley? Had never had cats?
27:20 Speaker 04 No.
27:20 H. Foley? That's a big jump.
27:21 Speaker 04 That's a fucking huge jump. She brought two of them.
27:23 H. Foley? Adults, obviously, not kittens, so you couldn't even get cutesy cutesy with them and then watch them grow up and then...
27:28 Speaker 01 Those things just don't like you.
27:30 Speaker 04 And this, now, they do like me and I, we've bonded. I'm allergic to cats. That wasn't great right away.
27:37 H. Foley? So what do you do?
27:38 Speaker 04 Sneeze.
27:39 H. Foley? No kidding?
27:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's a lot of that. It's a lot of going to bed with your eyes burning. But I wear slippers because if I don't, my socks end up looking like cotton candy.
27:49 Speaker 01 I agree with that. That makes sense.
27:50 H. Foley? All right. So slippers in the house.
27:53 Speaker 01 Are either one of you currently reading any books?
27:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm about to finish the Akatar series.
27:59 Speaker 01 What's that?
27:59 Speaker 03 You guys heard of this? A Court of Thorns and Roses. It's like fairy porn.
28:03 H. Foley? Thorns and Roses?
28:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:05 H. Foley? Is that what you said?
28:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's called, the first one's called A Court of Thorns and Roses, and then, there's five of them, and then each one is like a court of something else.
28:12 Speaker 01 And you're about to finish the series.
28:13 Speaker 03 About to finish the fifth one, yeah. It's like Taken Over. It's like Adult Twilight.
28:18 Speaker 01 Gotcha.
28:19 H. Foley? That's pretty adult.
28:20 Speaker 04 I was gonna, I was gonna say if Lord of the Rings was a, had a cock ring.
28:23 H. Foley? Really?
28:24 Speaker 04 It's more like that.
28:25 H. Foley? I've seen that video.
28:27 Speaker 01 They're really good. Are you reading anything?
28:28 Speaker 04 I am, I'm reading Sam Tallant's book right now.
28:30 H. Foley? Ah, shout out to Sam Tallant, out on a random house right now, I believe, right?
28:35 Speaker 04 Uh, I gotta tell you, this dude can write his ass off.
28:38 Speaker 01 The best. Is it your first time reading it?
28:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
28:40 Speaker 01 I, I went back and read it maybe six months ago, and I texted him probably every day, just being like, "It's insane."
28:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
28:48 Speaker 01 That this story is in you.
28:49 Speaker 04 It is.
28:49 Speaker 01 And the words, "It's fucking crazy."
28:51 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, it's, it's walking thesaurus, and he uses names of, of people we know, which I, which I thought was awesome.
28:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:58 Speaker 04 Even if they're not comedians in the thing, like, he uses the name Kurt Fletcher as a, as a guy that's selling Coke at a random bar, and Kurt Fletcher's a dude from, uh, New Mexico that I've worked with a million times.
29:08 Speaker 01 That's my boy.
29:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, so, uh, it's really cool.
29:10 Speaker 01 Okay, very good, two, two good ones.
29:13 H. Foley? Is that a typical read for you, would be, uh, uh, a novel, or are you more of a nonfiction? Guns and Ammo quarterly.
29:23 H. Foley? I pictured reading like the autobiography of Douglas MacArthur or something like that.
29:27 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:28 H. Foley? As he's cleaning a handgun.
29:29 Speaker 04 Reading a lot of war stories.
29:30 Speaker 03 That's what's next to the toilet for him in his private time.
29:33 H. Foley? It's my ketchup, Kelsey! Are there, are there reading materials in, next to the?
29:38 Speaker 01 In the bathroom?
29:39 H. Foley? Toilet in the bathroom?
29:40 Speaker 03 We did have a little, it was like Beatles quotes book that he got for Christmas.
29:45 Speaker 01 Okay, that's fair.
29:46 Speaker 03 That was like a nice little, little read.
29:47 H. Foley? Do we use our phones in there?
29:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:49 H. Foley? Absolutely.
29:50 Speaker 03 We're Wordle-ing and Turtle.
29:52 H. Foley? Wordle-ing, classy.
29:54 Speaker 03 We had, should we tell him? We have like a, we've been doing this for so long, we have a, a tournament going all the time where we're doing, we're competing against each other in Wordle and Nerdle and Qurtle.
30:05 Speaker 01 I don't know, you lost me, I have never touched Wordle, I have the idea, I've seen the picture, but what's Nerdle and Turtle?
30:11 Speaker 03 So Nerdle is like the, um...
30:14 Speaker 04 Talk about fairy porn.
30:15 Speaker 01 Yikes.
30:17 H. Foley? Hot stuff, you two.
30:18 Speaker 04 You should know that I'm always in my slippers when I'm doing this.
30:22 Speaker 01 He's got hair curlers in.
30:23 H. Foley? Playin' adult Yahtzee.
30:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, nerdle's the math version of wordle. So you're trying to guess an equation, basically. And then quartle is like wordle but times four. We're like 97. We like puzzles and stuff.
30:38 Speaker 01 Hey, that's great.
30:40 H. Foley? Are there any puzzle puzzles like on a dining room table?
30:43 Speaker 03 No, we don't have jigsaw puzzles.
30:44 H. Foley? Jigsaws, that's what it's called.
30:45 Speaker 01 Have either one of you ever owned that 3D art?
30:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:48 Speaker 01 Where you like kind of focus your eyes at it?
30:50 Speaker 03 Oh, I used to do 3D puzzles when I was a kid, but not 3D art.
30:55 Speaker 01 3D puzzle, like is it a building or whatever?
30:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, it was like a jigsaw puzzle, but the pieces were thick and made of foam in the middle. And so you would build like castles and stuff.
31:05 Speaker 01 He never finished it.
31:06 Speaker 03 I had a lot of projects.
31:06 Speaker 04 I used to tell my kids that a lot of the pictures in my house, if you focus on the middle, it would become something else, just for a little peace and quiet. It's not working. Yeah, no shit. Try again. Try the next one.
31:20 H. Foley? It's a mirror.
31:23 H. Foley? Okay, and you guys said you moved, you guys both, you got a place together?
31:27 Speaker 04 Right.
31:28 Speaker 03 Yes.
31:28 H. Foley? How was the decorating of that? Was there things that you guys had in a previous life that you brought? Or was it all new furniture and all that kind of stuff? And that decision-making process?
31:41 Speaker 03 So Chad had a house before we moved in together. And so he had way more stuff.
31:46 H. Foley? Gotcha.
31:47 Speaker 03 He was fully adult, like raised children in this house. He's got paintings, like real adult shit. I was living in apartments. So he had more of a like, hey, can we put these paintings I have up? And I didn't mind too much.
32:01 Speaker 01 Wrestling the bear or something.
32:04 Speaker 04 First of all, we moved into a townhome, which we did not decorate.
32:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, we knew we were gonna be there for not.
32:11 Speaker 01 Oh, so you moved into a flop house prior to?
32:13 Speaker 04 Pretty much, just to see like...
32:15 Speaker 01 My dad did that when he got divorced. I've been in those apartments and townhouses a couple of times.
32:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, bear walls.
32:21 Speaker 01 Yep.
32:22 Speaker 03 Things still in boxes.
32:23 Speaker 04 Eating in folding chairs.
32:25 Speaker 01 Leaving in the middle of the night? We moved the one time. Fucking 1 a.m.
32:29 H. Foley? What do you kids think? This is pretty good, huh? They're all crying.
32:33 Speaker 04 Grab the lone acoustic guitar.
32:35 Speaker 01 Has your mother been seeing anyone?
32:37 H. Foley? The acoustic guitar.
32:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:43 Speaker 01 Okay, so you had a starter townhouse.
32:46 Speaker 04 Right.
32:46 Speaker 01 As you guys just got settled in the area.
32:50 H. Foley? And to see if you guys could cohabitate.
32:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, I don't think we'd doubt it. I wouldn't have moved across the fucking country to Minnesota in the middle of January if I felt like this wasn't gonna work.
33:01 Speaker 01 I don't even tour there in the middle of January.
33:03 Speaker 03 That's like a brutal move. So, I mean, I think we both felt pretty confident, but buying a, I mean, this is my first house.
33:09 Speaker 01 You guys bought a house?
33:11 H. Foley? Well, you bought a house together?
33:12 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:13 H. Foley? Really? I didn't know that.
33:15 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:17 Speaker 01 All right. The stakes have just been raised.
33:22 H. Foley? Fifty fifty?
33:23 Speaker 04 Fifty fifty.
33:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:26 H. Foley? All right, okay.
33:28 Speaker 01 Interesting.
33:29 Speaker 04 My, we have a little lake cabin and the neighbors, when they saw her the first time and we told them we bought a house, they were like, "Oh, you guys bought a house?" Or "You bought the house and she lives there?" And I was like, "I get it," but she also, she pays fifty.
33:45 H. Foley? That's right. You have a lake house.
33:47 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
33:48 H. Foley? Right, okay.
33:49 Speaker 01 Forgot about that.
33:49 H. Foley? Yes. How far away is that from the main house?
33:52 Speaker 01 Where the bodies are buried. I probably made that joke.
33:54 Speaker 04 Now, it's two hours and forty-five minutes.
33:57 H. Foley? Okay, and that's you guys' vacation home?
34:00 Speaker 03 In the summer.
34:01 Speaker 04 I'm there almost the entire summer.
34:04 H. Foley? Wait, really?
34:05 Speaker 01 So you don't work in the summer then?
34:06 Speaker 04 I hardly work in the summer. Couple of one-offs.
34:10 H. Foley? Wait a minute.
34:11 Speaker 03 Chad's really like, he has lived his life exactly the way he wants to.
34:15 H. Foley? Hold on, so in the summer, will you, you'll be there and go out on tour from there?
34:20 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:21 H. Foley? Or is there like stretches where he's there and you're at the other house?
34:24 Speaker 03 Sometimes there's little stretches. I take more work in the summer than he does, not much. He's been a good example of trying to have more balance in my life and not just be on the road all the time, but I also, like, I like our, it's our, we bought our dream house. It's amazing.
34:38 H. Foley? Okay.
34:38 Speaker 03 So, to go out to the cabin, it's like I gotta drive the cats out there. He loves water. I'm not like a big swimmer, not a big bug person, so he, it's like his-
34:48 Speaker 01 Chad, huge bug guy.
34:49 Speaker 03 Big bug guy.
34:50 Speaker 04 Everybody knows that. I just sit out there at ten PM, let it land on me like a pigeon lady.
34:56 H. Foley? So what are you doing out there all summer by yourself?
34:59 Speaker 03 His kids, his, his daughter comes home from college.
35:02 Speaker 01 He's living life, man.
35:04 Speaker 03 He could live by himself forever, though.
35:06 H. Foley? Do the kids come out and stay out there for the summer and then like work from there?
35:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, so my son is married. He's got his own thing going on, but he lives pretty close to the cabin. And then my daughter will be home and she'll go back and forth to her mom's.
35:18 H. Foley? Okay.
35:18 Speaker 04 Cabin. And I golf. I swim a ton.
35:22 H. Foley? So there's like, uh, this is like a somewhat of a destination for the summer, like the, the Jersey Shore would be to people in Philly. So there's like, um, like a community out there. It's not like a cabin, like on a lake by itself.
35:34 Speaker 04 Right. It's 800 people in this town in the winter and 30,000 in the summer.
35:38 H. Foley? Okay, alright. So you're basically down the shore for the summer. In my dirtbag Philly brain.
35:45 Speaker 04 Okay.
35:45 Speaker 01 Just saying.
35:46 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
35:47 H. Foley? Gotcha.
35:48 Speaker 01 He can only equate it to wild.
35:49 H. Foley? Well, that makes a little more sense than him in a cabin by himself on a lake.
35:52 Speaker 01 No, that makes more sense to me than he's in a cabin.
35:55 H. Foley? If he was killing people or something like that.
35:57 Speaker 01 Living by candlelight in his little slippers.
36:01 H. Foley? Got a sawed off shotgun.
36:03 Speaker 01 Dressed like a woman, I don't know.
36:05 H. Foley? See what happens next time somebody says something to me at the airport.
36:11 H. Foley? Take care of it. He's talking to people that whittled.
36:16 H. Foley? Okay.
36:17 Speaker 01 We're having fun.
36:17 H. Foley? Yeah.
36:18 Speaker 01 Uh, do either one of you have any, currently have any half-used gift cards?
36:23 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
36:24 Speaker 01 To where do you think?
36:27 Speaker 03 I think we've got like a restaurant one.
36:29 Speaker 04 Don't bring me into this.
36:30 Speaker 03 Maybe an, maybe an Abercrombie and Fitch. I got a few, yeah. It's like you got eight bucks on it or something. You're like, well, fuck.
36:37 Speaker 01 I'm holding on to it.
36:38 Speaker 03 It feels dumb to throw it away, but when are you gonna use it? I don't know.
36:41 H. Foley? Chad Daniels, not a gift card guy, I would have to assume.
36:43 Speaker 04 I mean, I'll, I'll receive them with a smile on my face, but when I use them, I try to use them all up or, you know, if it's a, a, a too big of an amount for a normal tip, try to leave it, make the person's day, whatever it is.
36:56 H. Foley? Gotcha.
36:56 Speaker 04 She's dipping gift cards in ranch. White trashiest person you've ever seen.
37:01 H. Foley? And then I'll have the balance.
37:04 Speaker 04 I've never asked for a balance.
37:05 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. What's the balance of that? Can you, well, is the balance on the receipt?
37:09 Speaker 04 Right.
37:10 Speaker 01 You're logging in.
37:11 Speaker 04 I would rather file for bankruptcy than have to ask someone what my gift card balance is.
37:16 H. Foley? That's funny that this came up, because I got a situation, I'd like to get a 360's man, a 360 man's opinion on this.
37:23 Speaker 01 Okay.
37:24 H. Foley? I got a dinner on-
37:25 Speaker 01 Can I borrow 80 bucks?
37:28 H. Foley? Got the keys to that port.
37:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:30 H. Foley? I have a dinner on Saturday at a pretty nice place that my-
37:35 Speaker 01 It just happened.
37:35 H. Foley? That my wife's been wanting to go to.
37:37 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
37:38 H. Foley? The girls at work got her a gift card, or gift certificate to this place.
37:41 Speaker 01 You left this out of when we found out you were, he's going to a nice restaurant, he drops it on us.
37:46 H. Foley? I'm not a gift card guy, I'm not a gift certificate guy.
37:49 Speaker 01 I didn't know there's a gift card in the works.
37:50 H. Foley? I'm very, um, social anxiety when it comes to that stuff, you know what I mean? I tip really well, I don't want any, you know, problems, it's gotta be smooth. I'm not splitting the check or anything like that. This gift card that the girls got her at work, I know is not gonna cover the bill.
38:06 Speaker 01 What, do we know, can you tell us what it is?
38:07 H. Foley? I think it's 200.
38:09 Speaker 01 Okay. That's nice.
38:10 H. Foley? I wanna say it's 200. Um, this is obviously, so this is a rare occasion, it's a special place, she really wants to go, whatever, it's an expensive joint. I gotta wear a fucking jacket tie.
38:19 Speaker 01 Whoa. Do you have three with you, we could sew together?
38:24 Speaker 01 That was a question.
38:27 H. Foley? I kinda don't wanna use the gift card, cuz I, cuz I know I'm gonna have to go, here's the gift card, and then put the rest on this card. I just, and especially if it's a nice place like that, I don't want these fucking rich fuckers thinking that I don't belong there.
38:43 Speaker 01 You do not. You don't have the attire and you're paying with a gift card.
38:47 H. Foley? Yeah.
38:47 Speaker 01 The facts are the-
38:50 Speaker 04 Well, I wouldn't go.
38:54 Speaker 04 But, yeah, be like, ah, pipe burst, enjoy your gift card, but if, if I'm there, I think it's okay to say, here's the gift card, put the rest on here, and then leave a sizable tip.
39:07 H. Foley? Okay.
39:07 Speaker 04 I think that's just fine, and I'm assuming that's what you did.
39:10 H. Foley? No, this will be the side of it. That's probably, that is what I will do. Oh, this? Okay, gotcha.
39:14 Speaker 01 I got an idea. A little bit more of a flex than the double card. Cash. Have a couple of hundos on ya. Oh, yeah. That shows you're a player in the city. You got, like, oh, here's the gift card. Boom, boom, boom. The rest is for, that's all for you.
39:28 H. Foley? Kip, let's talk about Acorns.
39:30 Speaker 01 Shout out to Acorns, gang.
39:31 H. Foley? Saving the family over here. If it wasn't for Acorns, I'd be screwed.
39:35 Speaker 01 You ain't lying.
39:36 H. Foley? I'd be going through it like water. I'm signed up on Acorns. I have a little taken out every week, putting a little nest egg away. By the time I'm 88, I'm gonna be a goddamn millionaire. So, look out, baby. Gang, if you're looking for ways to save, I'm telling you right now, Acorns is simple. It's easy. You get to track your progress. You get to see what's going on. They give you your potential of what you could be earning. It's absolutely fantastic. So, if you're a dumbass like me
40:02 Speaker 01 Hey!
40:02 H. Foley? and not great with, uh, with spending and saving, do yourself. Get over to Acorns and get yourself straightened out, man.
40:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, I've been using Acorns for a few years now. Only way I've been able to squirrel away a couple of bucks. If you don't, you don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with just the spare money you've got right now. Uh, and if you sign up and join over the 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion worth of Acorns. Listen, you ain't by yourself over there at Acorns. You're with a gosh darn army. Head to acorns.com/garbage or download the Acorns app to get started. Uh, this is paid client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. A tier-one compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC is an SEC-registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com/garbage. Do it. Do it.
40:49 H. Foley? Kip, you like BlueChew?
40:50 Speaker 01 Bonerville.
40:51 H. Foley? Yeah, let's go. Calling all you softies out there.
40:53 Speaker 01 A couple, a couple of pushing ropes out there.
40:56 H. Foley? Listen, let's be honest. You get a little older, you put on a little weight, you need a little help in the bedroom. You know what I mean? Sometimes when you're at the gym and you're lifting heavy weight, you need a little spotter. Let BlueChew do a little spotting for ya in the boudoir.
41:10 Speaker 01 Last thing you want is her to be ready and you to be, uh, you know.
41:13 H. Foley? Give me a second. Said that before.
41:15 Speaker 01 And they're smashing it in the fucking junk drawer to try to get it started.
41:20 H. Foley? Hey, we got any jumper cables?
41:22 Speaker 01 Great sex is just a few clicks away. You sign up at BlueChew.com. You can sell with one of their licensed medical providers. And BlueChew tablets are made right here in the USA, baby. We're talking homegrown bones shipped directly to your door. Uh, it's, uh, I mean, it's the same, uh, active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in one chewable form. Uh, BlueChew won't stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house and that is their mission. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at BlueChew.com. And we got a special deal for our listeners. You try the, your first month, try your first month of BlueChew for free when you use the promo code garbage. Just pay the five bucks in shipping. Uh, that's promo code garbage at visit, uh, promo code garbage. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety info.
42:04 Speaker 01 And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Now back to the show, back to the show, back to the show.
42:09 H. Foley? Cause I don't know how, if I go, if we go there and I tell her, which I normally would, I don't want to use the gift card. You go ahead and use it with one of your girlfriends. It's too nice of a, she's not going to go back. So I gotta use it. Yep.
42:22 Speaker 01 Can't just go to Applebee's and whatever.
42:24 Speaker 03 Right, right, right. Also, if this place is offering gift cards, this is something, you have to picture on a daily basis. One of these servers is probably running one of these cards. It's not personal. You can't help that somebody gave that to you as a gift.
42:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, but it's a gift card queen's talking now, you know?
42:40 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. There's a reason he didn't ask me.
42:43 Speaker 01 I might have a couple of bucks for there.
42:44 H. Foley? I want to take, I want to take 75 out on the gift card. Put the rest on this Discover card.
42:49 Speaker 04 Let's look at this from a relationship standpoint. Your wife at work is such a good person that people got together and gave her $200 gift card. And she probably wants to use that and for you guys and say, hey, look at this. I got this for being awesome. You know, she probably wants to feel that.
43:06 H. Foley? Yeah, that'll even everything out.
43:11 Speaker 04 I tried.
43:11 H. Foley? Kid!
43:12 Speaker 01 Uh, that's a smart guy.
43:15 H. Foley? Nah, that's good advice.
43:15 Speaker 04 I tried.
43:16 H. Foley? That's good.
43:17 Speaker 01 Uh, yeah, just hit them with the cash and keep it moving.
43:20 H. Foley? Speaking of dinner, um, do you guys like to share things? Will you share an appetizer?
43:26 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:26 H. Foley? Okay. Will you maybe get something like, uh, Kelsey gets the lasagna and you get the steak and hey, we'll, we'll share it. Or are we individual entrees only?
43:37 Speaker 03 No, we're sharing.
43:38 H. Foley? He's not a freak with that stuff?
43:40 Speaker 04 Whoa.
43:41 Speaker 01 You are really poking the bear.
43:43 Speaker 03 My guy, I'm telling you, you gotta tread lightly today. We got a long day ahead of us.
43:48 Speaker 01 Everybody in the room is like, knock it the fuck off.
43:50 H. Foley? I figured he would be protective of, he's, he's a particular guy. It's his plate.
43:56 Speaker 01 He just locked the door with his eyes.
44:01 Speaker 01 Chad, I'm on your side. I'm fucking hit this guy right now.
44:03 H. Foley? He's got the wooden knuckles on.
44:05 Speaker 03 Oh my god.
44:08 H. Foley? Is that a wooden gun?
44:09 Speaker 01 Yes, it is.
44:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, she, she's allergic to pistachios and cashews. And so if I want something to myself...
44:19 Speaker 03 Wait, I'm sorry. Why did you say it like that?
44:20 Speaker 01 Cashews?
44:21 Speaker 03 Did the Delta 360 start?
44:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, you got a real fucking hoity-toity on me, Dan.
44:25 Speaker 04 I'm sorry. I said pistachios and then I sneezed. What's wrong?
44:28 H. Foley? I'll have the honey roasted cashews, please.
44:31 Speaker 04 Cashews? Ca-
44:32 Speaker 01 Cashews.
44:33 Speaker 04 Oh, cashews, yeah. Sorry, gift card.
44:37 Speaker 01 My bad, you got, we got them flying now.
44:43 Speaker 03 Can I tell you-
44:43 Speaker 04 Now, we had to shake hands before we opened the door.
44:46 Speaker 01 Been there, buddy.
44:47 H. Foley? Oh, man, isn't that the best?
44:49 Speaker 01 I also just realized, you guys did the very dirtbag thing of buying a house out of wedlock. That's like what dirtbag-
44:54 Speaker 03 We've done everything.
44:56 H. Foley? I love it.
44:56 Speaker 01 I know, that's just like what they, you know.
44:57 Speaker 03 We got life insurance recently, bought a house. We've done all of these big things before marriage.
45:03 H. Foley? Not all of them, but.
45:06 Speaker 01 I see this.
45:07 Speaker 03 Like what?
45:07 Speaker 01 Something's starting.
45:09 Speaker 03 Like what?
45:13 Speaker 03 You know what's fun? So today's my birthday. Happy birthday buddy! Thank you. And I'm not, I'm, that's very nice, thank you. I'm, I'm just saying it so that when he starts to get sassy today, today's my one day a year where I can give him a look like,
45:25 Speaker 01 Hey.
45:25 Speaker 03 It's my fucking birthday.
45:26 Speaker 01 Zip it.
45:27 H. Foley? Be nice.
45:28 Speaker 03 Be nice on my birthday. What are the plans for the birthday? Well, we're doing-
45:32 H. Foley? We kinda did stuff yesterday.
45:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He surprised me with tickets to Glengarry Glen Ross. Right.
45:37 H. Foley? Not cheap tickets either.
45:39 Speaker 03 On Broadway, yes. Yes. Got me, it gets so uncomfortable when I say nice things about you. Got me like a really nice toomy backpack, like really just like- Very nice. Like, really, really spoiled me. And then, we were telling you guys beforehand that we ran into, uh, Club Soda Kenny, the incredible Club Soda Kenny, uh, who took us backstage and we got to meet Bob Odenkirk and we got to say hi to Bill Burr. It was just, it was an amazing night. So that was like, kind of our big birthday celebration night. And then today- Very nice. We're performing together tonight. So, and it's very fun.
46:10 H. Foley? We love it.
46:10 Speaker 03 Yeah. Make softiness, Daniels.
46:12 H. Foley? Yeah.
46:13 Speaker 03 He really is. He has such a prickly exterior and like, eyes that do look like he could lock a door with them. But, and on the inside, he's just the best.
46:22 H. Foley? He's a man's man.
46:24 Speaker 01 Good with the ladies. All men's men are good with the, good with the broads. Uh, okay.
46:36 H. Foley? I'm sweating.
46:36 Speaker 03 I know. I make him so uncomfortable when I say nice things about him.
46:41 H. Foley? Nothing too trashy, if, if I can say, really up to this point. You know?
46:48 Speaker 03 Wow. We've really, I think we've gotten better now that we're together.
46:51 H. Foley? They're shopping at Whole Foods.
46:52 Speaker 03 We've united forces.
46:53 Speaker 01 What's breakfast looking like if you're both at the house?
46:56 H. Foley? And who's making it?
46:58 Speaker 03 Usually we'll just both do a smoothie.
47:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, they're whoa. In shape.
47:02 H. Foley? What about like on a su- Sunday? You know, you're, you're letting the hair down a little bit.
47:06 Speaker 01 Smoothie and some cashews.
47:08 Speaker 03 Fucking ketchup in there somehow. Sundays usually we'll, we'll order pizza. Not for breakfast, like we'll both fly in on a Sunday.
47:18 Speaker 03 That would take all of our.
47:19 H. Foley? Okay, that makes sense, that's right. You're both flying in on a Sunday, you're both getting home. That's gotta be nice and cozy. You're both coming off the road.
47:26 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:26 H. Foley? Get home.
47:27 Speaker 01 Trade war stories.
47:29 H. Foley? Are we unpacking right away that night? No.
47:33 Speaker 03 Chad will never unpack. It's just a perpetual cycle of.
47:37 Speaker 04 I leave my suitcase and then Thursday night I open it, wash those clothes.
47:42 Speaker 01 Go right back in.
47:43 Speaker 04 Put them back in for Friday morning.
47:44 H. Foley? I like it.
47:45 Speaker 01 That's great. That's crazy.
47:48 H. Foley? I just, I just opened my suitcase from tour. A month ago.
47:53 Speaker 01 Twenty twenty one.
47:53 Speaker 03 Oh my god.
47:56 H. Foley? And the only reason I did it is because I ran out of socks and underwear and I remembered that I had some in there. And I figured since they had been sitting in the suitcase so long theoretically, they were fresher than anything I was gonna pull out of the.
48:09 Speaker 04 You were wrong.
48:12 Speaker 01 They were dry aged.
48:14 Speaker 03 Yes. I have to unpack fast now because I just started, he started packing his slippers with him. I started packing my pillow with me, like my good pillow from home.
48:21 Speaker 01 Traveling with them.
48:22 Speaker 03 I'm bringing my full, because all these hotels, it's different pillows and it really messes up my neck.
48:27 Speaker 01 I understand it, but that's how, where do you put the pillow when you're traveling?
48:31 Speaker 03 It's just on one half and I can squish it down. I can put stuff on top of it and zip that compartment. It actually, it works better than I thought it would. It's like not taking up too much space.
48:40 Speaker 01 I don't know. What is, did you ever break that out on the plane and like nuzzle up in the corner?
48:45 Speaker 03 No, cause.
48:46 Speaker 01 You shouldn't.
48:46 Speaker 03 The way you are with hotel carpets, and I feel that way about planes, I'm just like, I don't want anything that's gonna be touching my face.
48:52 Speaker 01 I agree.
48:52 Speaker 03 Touching the plane stuff.
48:54 H. Foley? Uh, let's get to sleep in a little bit. How many, are we in a king size bed at the, at the house?
48:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:00 H. Foley? Okay, how many pillows are on the bed?
49:02 Speaker 03 Oh my god.
49:03 Speaker 04 That's not, no, on the bed.
49:04 Speaker 03 On the bed.
49:04 Speaker 04 It's a different question.
49:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Normal amount of pillows. Two to four, like.
49:08 Speaker 01 One for me.
49:10 Speaker 03 One to two for me.
49:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:12 Speaker 03 We're not one of the people that has like 50 decorative pillows, but he... There have to be-
49:16 Speaker 04 I went through a pillow phase.
49:18 Speaker 03 There have to be sturdy pillows.
49:20 Speaker 04 I was trying to find out, um... I was trying to find out, yes, how sharp my knives were.
49:28 Speaker 04 Trying to find it like for my neck, what... So I didn't wake up with a kink or shoulder pain.
49:32 Speaker 01 Smart.
49:32 Speaker 04 And so I probably have 15 pillows in my closet.
49:36 Speaker 01 Okay, were you doing like normal, just standard, regular? Or were you doing like the design with the curves and the foam and...
49:41 Speaker 04 Yeah, I got a couple of those, but when you take those out of the plastic, they're from China and they just smell like cancer.
49:46 Speaker 01 They smell so bad, dude.
49:47 Speaker 03 It's so bad, it gives you a headache. Yeah.
49:49 Speaker 04 And then, um, yeah, I just tried a bunch.
49:52 Speaker 01 Okay, did you get a winner?
49:53 Speaker 04 I finally found one, yeah.
49:54 H. Foley? And you're one, one pillow guy?
49:56 Speaker 04 One pillow.
49:56 H. Foley? On your side? I can't remember.
49:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, I sleep on my side, on my back, I can snore.
50:01 H. Foley? On your back, you can snore? You kept two behind your head sometimes?
50:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, if I'm reading.
50:06 H. Foley? Nothing between anybody's legs or holding anything, nothing like that?
50:10 Speaker 03 Mm-mm.
50:10 H. Foley? And you guys sleep away from each other or facing into each other?
50:13 Speaker 04 Oh.
50:16 Speaker 03 I wish we cuddled more, but Chad is a very like, the second I get in bed-
50:20 H. Foley? Don't touch me!
50:22 Speaker 03 You know, literally, the bed is for sleep, don't touch me, don't... It's like a very cuddle-free zone. He's like, the couch is for cuddles, the bed is for sleep.
50:33 Speaker 01 I don't hate that!
50:34 H. Foley? I don't hate it either.
50:35 Speaker 01 I don't hate it!
50:36 Speaker 04 The only Christian morale I have is the bed is for sleeping. That's it. I mean, other, it's, it's... You get in there, all of a sudden, you're 20 minutes into a conversation, but your body's tricked because it has been laying down, and now you're staring at the ceiling for 40 minutes.
50:52 Speaker 01 It's more functional, right?
50:52 Speaker 04 Yes!
50:53 Speaker 01 Gotcha, okay.
50:55 H. Foley? Is there a TV in the room?
50:56 Speaker 03 No.
50:57 H. Foley? No TV? So when we go to bed, we go to bed?
51:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:00 Speaker 03 Chad is, yeah.
51:01 Speaker 01 Shut it down.
51:02 H. Foley? Read, we read a little bit?
51:03 Speaker 04 Can.
51:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
51:04 H. Foley? How about the phones?
51:06 Speaker 03 They're like bedside, but we're not the people who like sit and just scroll TikTok before bed. We're trying to, we try to be good about like not looking at blue light before bed. Okay.
51:15 Speaker 04 She's also, she, now she has, I don't remember what it's called, but it's.
51:19 Speaker 03 Oh, a hatch alarm clock.
51:21 Speaker 04 Yeah, we have one too.
51:22 Speaker 03 Okay, they're great.
51:23 H. Foley? Yeah, it's, it does the rain sounds and all that shit too, right?
51:26 Speaker 03 Yeah.
51:27 Speaker 04 But she also has the wind down.
51:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, there's like a.
51:30 H. Foley? Ours has like a little sun in it.
51:31 Speaker 01 You gotta school me, I don't know what we're talking about here.
51:32 Speaker 03 So, it's like a.
51:33 Speaker 01 I'm not bougie.
51:35 Speaker 03 It's like an Alexa, but an alarm clock.
51:37 Speaker 01 Okay.
51:37 Speaker 03 And it can give you different soundscapes and lightscapes and all this stuff. And there are different programs or whatever to help you fall asleep. So there will be like a 10 minute meditation relaxation thing.
51:50 H. Foley? Sucks.
51:51 Speaker 03 And Chad cannot stand it.
51:54 Speaker 01 Watch Chad's.
51:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's like we listen to the beginning of Metallica's One and we go to bed.
52:03 Speaker 01 Stop this, imprison me.
52:04 Speaker 04 Exactly. How do you not sleep to that?
52:06 Speaker 03 And then he, his alarm is, wake up, what did you put on? Just immediate system of a down.
52:12 H. Foley? He likes to fall asleep to radio chatter from Vietnam.
52:15 Speaker 04 Good morning.
52:17 Speaker 01 We're taking heavy fire.
52:18 Speaker 04 She, uh, she used to have just an app before she got this hatch. And it sounds like the elf from Harry Potter.
52:25 Speaker 03 Okay.
52:26 Speaker 04 And this was her little wind down where it was like, the day is over. And nighttime is upon us. I don't like it either.
52:33 H. Foley? Things stealing your breath when you fall asleep.
52:35 Speaker 04 No shit, that's what I'm saying.
52:37 Speaker 03 Dementia.
52:38 Speaker 01 Uh, I got a question that was relatively a hot or a debate on this. Are you guys a Home Depot family or, or are you a Lowe's family? Or you might be Menard, was it, is it Menards out there?
52:48 Speaker 04 There's all three.
52:50 Speaker 03 I think you're more of a Home Depot, but we'll go to a Lowe's.
52:52 Speaker 04 I went to Home Depot and, and struck out. So three different times I went there and they didn't have what I looked for. And then Lowe's had it.
52:59 Speaker 01 But now you're a Lowe's man, I feel.
53:01 Speaker 04 I've moved over.
53:01 Speaker 01 Okay.
53:02 H. Foley? What's the, what's the ceiling of your, uh, handiness? I would have to assume it's pretty high.
53:06 Speaker 03 So high.
53:07 H. Foley? Yeah?
53:08 Speaker 04 I could do stuff.
53:09 Speaker 01 What kind of tools you got? And what kind of brand? You, you, you DeWalt me? You got like a-
53:13 Speaker 04 I'm not brand loyal, just whatever gets the job done.
53:16 Speaker 01 Ah, okay.
53:17 H. Foley? Milwaukee, DeWalt?
53:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:19 H. Foley? Makita?
53:20 Speaker 04 Although, I have, uh, what's the green one with the-
53:23 Speaker 01 Ryobi.
53:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:24 H. Foley? Really?
53:25 Speaker 04 I have some of those.
53:25 Speaker 01 That's Home Depot's house brand. We were trashing and people schooled me on it.
53:29 H. Foley? And refresh my- who's cutting the grass? You? Or landscaper?
53:33 Speaker 04 Who's cut- oh, me, sorry.
53:34 H. Foley? Yeah.
53:35 Speaker 04 I thought you meant between us. That's why I broke down and started laughing. Um, we are-
53:41 Speaker 01 Push mower, ride mower?
53:42 Speaker 04 Push.
53:43 Speaker 01 Push. What brand's that?
53:45 Speaker 04 That is a, oh, that was left with the house. I don't know.
53:47 Speaker 01 Really?
53:48 Speaker 04 Really? I asked him to leave it.
53:50 H. Foley? Really? Did you pay for it?
53:51 Speaker 03 At gunpoint, he asked him to leave. Leave the fucking mower.
53:56 Speaker 01 And a hedge trimmer too, you pussy.
53:59 Speaker 01 I know where you're moving.
54:00 Speaker 03 Get my wooden knuckles out.
54:01 H. Foley? Whose car's that now, huh? My car, ain't it? Um-
54:05 Speaker 01 Okay.
54:05 H. Foley? Can you frame out a house?
54:07 Speaker 01 That's a lot. Framing out a house.
54:10 Speaker 03 My god.
54:10 Speaker 01 Bob Vila?
54:12 Speaker 03 What does that even mean?
54:12 Speaker 04 I mean, I, I can't, I don't, wouldn't trust myself to poor footings, but I could frame.
54:17 H. Foley? See? Hang drywall?
54:19 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
54:20 H. Foley? Electrical work?
54:21 Speaker 01 What are you doing later? I got a leak in my house.
54:24 Speaker 04 I can, I can do some electrical work. The problem is, you know, it's like, I, I wouldn't, it wouldn't be, it wouldn't pass a test.
54:31 H. Foley? Gotcha.
54:32 Speaker 04 Cause I'm not certified to do it.
54:32 H. Foley? And in the summer, out at the, out at the lake house, what sort of things in that vein are you doing? Like, will you set yourself up with a project for the summer?
54:41 Speaker 04 Not this summer. Last summer, I put in all new blinds, uh, flooring, and, uh, maybe that was it?
54:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, and they like cabinet kind of stuff in the kitchen, but-
54:50 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, but any, but, uh-
54:51 H. Foley? Put cabinets in?
54:52 Speaker 04 No, no, no, no, no. I just, uh, had a, um, this was-
54:55 Speaker 03 Designed a thing.
54:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:56 Speaker 01 He's the real king of the burbs. I stink.
54:59 H. Foley? Yeah. And then, you're fishing in the summer?
55:02 Speaker 04 I do fish when my son comes over. I'm not a huge fisherman.
55:06 H. Foley? No hunting? You hunting at all?
55:07 Speaker 04 I don't, I'm never hunted.
55:08 H. Foley? Huh.
55:09 Speaker 04 Mm-mm.
55:09 H. Foley? Huh.
55:10 Speaker 04 All my friends, all my friends would hunt.
55:12 H. Foley? Okay.
55:13 Speaker 04 But I never wanted to get up.
55:15 Speaker 01 Have either one of you had a tick on you in the last 365 days?
55:19 Speaker 03 No, but you've dealt with, I mean him growing up in Minnesota, that's more tick country, I feel like.
55:25 H. Foley? You ever have Lyme's disease?
55:26 Speaker 04 No, my son does though.
55:27 H. Foley? He does? Do you have it forever?
55:29 Speaker 04 Fucked up his joints real bad.
55:30 H. Foley? Man.
55:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, really tired all the time. Seems horrible.
55:33 H. Foley? Ticks scare the shit out of me.
55:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
55:35 H. Foley? I don't like them.
55:36 Speaker 01 Jesus.
55:36 Speaker 03 They're so small, they're much smaller than I thought they would be too. I kept...
55:39 H. Foley? Sneaky.
55:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, the deer ticks you can't hardly see.
55:41 Speaker 01 You can't see, that's like the silent killer.
55:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
55:44 Speaker 01 It's like gerd.
55:46 Speaker 03 A gerd?
55:50 Speaker 01 I didn't think that was gonna go over that well.
55:52 Speaker 03 Killing with gerd today.
55:55 Speaker 01 Big gerd crowd. I'm not even sure I know what it is. Have either of you been to a TJ Maxx or a Marshalls in the last 365 days?
56:02 Speaker 03 No.
56:03 Speaker 04 I've been to a Marshalls.
56:04 Speaker 03 Oh, you have?
56:05 Speaker 01 For what reasoning?
56:06 Speaker 04 My...
56:06 Speaker 01 That's a place you go with a, "I am looking for this" kind of thing.
56:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, my mom and sister needed something, I can't remember.
56:13 Speaker 01 Gotcha. Okay.
56:14 Speaker 04 We ran over there.
56:16 Speaker 03 Oh, so this wasn't a solo trip? You like went in with...
56:18 Speaker 04 Not a solo trip.
56:18 Speaker 03 Oh, I think it's all different.
56:20 H. Foley? You, would you clothes shop there? Would you get, you know, grab a t-shirt, something like that?
56:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'd get whatever. No fear.
56:27 Speaker 01 A lot of absolute vodka, so I'm like...
56:31 H. Foley? Interesting.
56:31 Speaker 01 What kind of golf clubs you got?
56:34 Speaker 04 I have Titleist irons.
56:35 Speaker 01 That's alright.
56:36 Speaker 04 And I use tailor-made, well, they call them metals now, but woods.
56:39 Speaker 01 Sure.
56:40 Speaker 04 And then some folky wedges and a spider putter.
56:43 Speaker 01 What do you, what do you shoot? What's your handicap?
56:45 Speaker 04 It's alright.
56:46 Speaker 03 He's so good.
56:46 Speaker 01 I know, I can tell you're good.
56:48 Speaker 03 Anytime you ask him something, he goes, "It's okay." Just know that means it's like the best.
56:52 Speaker 01 What do you shoot? You shooting like, high 70s?
56:55 Speaker 04 Six handicap.
56:56 Speaker 01 That's pretty good.
56:57 H. Foley? What's that mean?
56:58 Speaker 01 Hey, I'll kick your ass.
57:00 H. Foley? What's... I don't play.
57:03 Speaker 01 I meant physically.
57:04 H. Foley? Oh, yeah, of course. Uh, what's the course? By the lake?
57:08 Speaker 01 It's many.
57:08 H. Foley? It's called Belmorel. Private, public?
57:11 Speaker 04 Public, yeah, all, all public courses.
57:13 H. Foley? But nice?
57:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, nice enough, 18, and then there's a par three right next to it, different ownership.
57:18 H. Foley? Do they have a clubhouse where you can go and have lunch?
57:20 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
57:20 H. Foley? Okay.
57:21 Speaker 01 Anybody going in?
57:24 H. Foley? Actually, got both of you guys a gift card.
57:30 Speaker 01 I can't wait. Doesn't cover a full round.
57:32 H. Foley? Do they have a locker room? Like a country club?
57:35 Speaker 04 No, uh-uh. No locker room. Nope.
57:37 H. Foley? What's the... The club, the snack, or the restaurant? Like nice?
57:43 Speaker 04 You're looking at premade sandwiches, pizzas.
57:45 H. Foley? Okay.
57:46 Speaker 03 It's not yet.
57:46 Speaker 04 And then I play one in my hometown of Fergus Falls, which is a half hour from the cabin.
57:50 H. Foley? Okay.
57:50 Speaker 04 And that's a restaurant, restaurant.
57:52 H. Foley? Like?
57:53 Speaker 04 And that has a locker room.
57:54 H. Foley? From like Kirby Enthusiasm?
57:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
57:55 H. Foley? That's the kind of club I'm looking for.
57:58 Speaker 01 That's where I want to be a member.
57:59 H. Foley? It's nice. It's always you get a turkey.
58:00 Speaker 04 Pebble Lake Golf Club. That's what you're looking for when you head my way.
58:03 H. Foley? Yeah.
58:05 Speaker 01 It's very funny. Most people are like a little vague with like exact locations. He's like, "If you want to come, fucking see me."
58:12 Speaker 03 I know. I'm like, "Can you be careful, please?"
58:14 Speaker 04 Our address is 34...
58:16 Speaker 03 Fucking chill out on the specifics.
58:19 Speaker 01 Fucking try, buddy. I've had a slow week. Come see me.
58:23 H. Foley? I mean, I gotta say this, you know?
58:27 H. Foley? Separately, pretty trashy.
58:29 Speaker 01 Sure.
58:30 H. Foley? Come together.
58:31 Speaker 01 Two negatives, integers make a positive number.
58:33 H. Foley? Yeah.
58:34 Speaker 01 Something like that.
58:35 H. Foley? Would there be?
58:36 Speaker 03 Gotta get you doing a nerdle. Gotta get you doing a nerdle. Yeah, yeah.
58:39 H. Foley? Chad, would there be a reciprocating side on Kelsey's side to the roast beef ketchup situation?
58:46 Speaker 01 Yeah. What is it? You're like, "I can't believe she does this."
58:50 H. Foley? Yes.
58:51 Speaker 03 Well, that's something I used to do. You made fun of me for on the podcast, the mayo.
58:54 H. Foley? Mayo?
58:55 Speaker 01 Mayo's never great.
58:56 H. Foley? I'm listening.
58:56 Speaker 04 She used to have mayo sandwiches with white bread. Just white bread and mayo.
59:02 Speaker 03 When I was really young.
59:03 Speaker 04 That's what she used to eat.
59:04 Speaker 01 Oh, that's not great.
59:07 Speaker 04 But she doesn't do that anymore. Right now, I mean, so now it's just like...
59:10 Speaker 01 Cause your diet, I remember, cause you, that you have like the allergy or something.
59:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's gotten so much better this past year. Oh, this has been the greatest food year for me. I retested my peanut allergy. I'm not allergic to peanuts anymore.
59:22 Speaker 01 There you go.
59:23 Speaker 03 I can have dairy again. I can have bread again. But for like 10, 15 years, it was like, no pizza, no burgers, nothing with peanuts. And now I'm just eating everything. It's the greatest.
59:32 H. Foley? Hmm. Speaking of pizza, where? Where's that pizza coming from? Is it a local spot? Are you doing like a Domino's or whatever?
59:37 Speaker 03 No, it's a local spot.
59:38 H. Foley? Okay.
59:38 Speaker 03 But it's like...
59:39 Speaker 04 No, it's a chain. I like it. So, I like Jets. I like Jets pizza.
59:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's such a Midwest.
59:44 Speaker 03 I didn't know that that was bigger than Minnesota.
59:46 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
59:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
59:46 Speaker 04 That's a chain.
59:47 Speaker 01 And the Midwest people like, it's like, love it.
59:51 Speaker 04 Yeah. They do it Detroit style, which is the rectangle deep dish.
59:54 Speaker 01 Love it.
59:55 Speaker 04 And, uh...
59:56 Speaker 01 I gotta get my hands on some of that Jets.
59:57 Speaker 03 It's really good.
59:59 Speaker 01 Huh.
59:59 Speaker 03 Really, really good.
1:00:00 Speaker 04 I've actually, I ordered Jets for the first time in Michigan. And I was like, okay, I got this on a Thursday. I'm gonna put this out in the hallway, cuz I don't wanna eat the rest of it. And then Friday night, I came back drunk. And I brought it back into the room. And I ate some, and I even dipped it in the ranch that had been sitting out there.
1:00:14 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:00:15 Speaker 04 Then I go, what the fuck am I doing? I put the, I put the crust that I didn't eat outside. And then Saturday night, came back drunk and ate the crust.
1:00:23 H. Foley? Wait, so, hold on. You got a box of pizza, you have it in the hotel, you put it outside.
1:00:27 Speaker 04 No one has grabbed it. If that's your question.
1:00:29 Speaker 01 That's a nice hotel you're staying in.
1:00:31 Speaker 04 It's a super nice hotel.
1:00:32 H. Foley? Was it a nice hotel?
1:00:33 Speaker 01 No, not that they're not cleaning their pizza, lived in the hallway all weekend.
1:00:36 H. Foley? But you don't know if somebody's coming and open it and licking their fingers and touching it?
1:00:40 Speaker 04 I have no clue, but...
1:00:41 H. Foley? Then you worry about the pillow on the floor? You're eating hallway pizza.
1:00:45 Speaker 03 See.
1:00:45 H. Foley? Not that I'm against it.
1:00:46 Speaker 04 No, no, no, you're right.
1:00:47 Speaker 03 Complicated man.
1:00:48 Speaker 04 I draw a crooked line, there's no doubt about it.
1:00:51 Speaker 03 The Chad Daniels...
1:00:52 H. Foley? Very well said.
1:00:54 Speaker 01 Huh.
1:00:54 Speaker 03 The Chad Daniels rulebook is impossible to keep. I mean, I've, I've tried. It's, you don't know.
1:01:01 Speaker 01 My wife says the same thing about me. There's a lot of just weird rules, where I'm like, nope.
1:01:04 Speaker 03 Yep.
1:01:04 H. Foley? So, the pizza on Sundays is usually a rectangle pie?
1:01:07 Speaker 03 Mm.
1:01:08 H. Foley? Wow, that's very old school. Interesting. That's very, very interesting.
1:01:12 Speaker 01 And let's say you guys are going on vacation. Where, what's a vacation? No work? Like, obviously, you guys are here, you're doing spots, whatever.
1:01:19 H. Foley? Can't say the lake house.
1:01:20 Speaker 01 Yeah. What's like, if you're going somewhere, what would that look like? Or what are you guys kicking around to do?
1:01:25 Speaker 03 We, at the end of this past year, went to Europe for two weeks.
1:01:28 H. Foley? Ooh.
1:01:29 Speaker 03 We didn't work, we didn't book shows. We went to Dublin, London, and Paris, and it was incredible.
1:01:34 H. Foley? Very nice.
1:01:35 Speaker 01 Huh.
1:01:36 H. Foley? First time in Paris?
1:01:37 Speaker 03 Not my first time, but it was my first time in Dublin. And it was your first time everywhere.
1:01:42 Speaker 04 My first time everywhere, yeah, that's true. But we did wear, uh, cutoff sweats that had American flags on the asses.
1:01:47 Speaker 01 Let the boys know.
1:01:49 Speaker 04 Just to let everybody, hey. You guys mind if I get a Freedom Dip?
1:01:53 Speaker 01 Huh.
1:01:54 H. Foley? You have a steak frites in, uh, Paris?
1:01:57 Speaker 03 No, we ended up actually eating a lot of Italian food.
1:02:00 Speaker 01 It's funny how good it is over there.
1:02:01 Speaker 03 It's so funny, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, Parisian food and Ireland, it's, they're all so close to each other.
1:02:07 Speaker 01 We had great, uh, Parisian food in Dublin, yeah, remember that?
1:02:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, the pastries, oh my god.
1:02:12 Speaker 01 They just do everything, everything's just done well.
1:02:15 Speaker 03 It's done so well, yeah.
1:02:17 Speaker 01 Hmm. Yeah, we-
1:02:18 Speaker 03 What'd he say?
1:02:19 Speaker 05 Uh, we were fucked up.
1:02:20 Speaker 01 I said, "We were, I said, "It was great, I mean..." I thought it was a derogatory comment. We kept, every time we were, we were, kept going, "This is the best fucking meal ever." And then it wasn't for like, three weeks after we got back, I'm like, "We were just wasted every meal." Like-
1:02:31 Speaker 03 You went to Little Caesar's, actually, we didn't know.
1:02:33 Speaker 01 It was every night at like, 8 o'clock after we had started drinking at noon.
1:02:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, Jimmy Jones.
1:02:37 Speaker 01 Uh, I mean, listen- European vacations. The 360, the Porsche. You own the lake house, right?
1:02:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:02:45 Speaker 01 They got, they bought a house together, it's pretty well decorated. They're, they're the best for each other, which is odd. Real tree this year? Christmas tree?
1:02:55 Speaker 04 Can't, she's allergic to them.
1:02:57 Speaker 03 No, but that's just because I'm allergic.
1:02:58 Speaker 04 We can't, she's allergic to them. We can't celebrate baby Christ's birthday how you're supposed to, because she's allergic to fucking pine needles?
1:03:08 Speaker 01 Do we have, do we have a, a social network, uh, outside of comedy? Do you hang with the neighbors or stuff like that?
1:03:17 Speaker 03 Not with the neighbors, but we do both have, like, a really good group of friends in our lives that are not in entertainment at all.
1:03:23 Speaker 01 Do you guys have it together? Like, do you guys- Will you guys go to like, a dinner party?
1:03:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, we've got, we have like, joint friends in.
1:03:29 Speaker 01 I'm sure Chad mixes real well.
1:03:33 Speaker 04 I think sometimes I do great.
1:03:35 Speaker 03 It's real.
1:03:39 Speaker 03 Pretty nerve wracking introducing him to my girlfriends, like, oh god.
1:03:43 Speaker 01 Pretty nerve wracking. That's how you're gonna carve that turkey, huh? Wow.
1:03:49 H. Foley? I'll do the grilling. Alright, man, take it easy.
1:03:51 Speaker 04 Maybe everybody can just dip the turkey in the basting pan for the juices.
1:03:55 H. Foley? Ah.
1:03:56 Speaker 04 Since they're all gone now.
1:03:57 Speaker 01 That's fucking great. I mean, listen. Yeah. Uh, this has been the first time this has happened.
1:04:04 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
1:04:05 Speaker 01 Where they both, the two negatives, create a positive.
1:04:09 H. Foley? Two wrongs make a right. Huh?
1:04:11 Speaker 01 This show is constantly, I'm constantly learning. This is wild.
1:04:15 H. Foley? I love it.
1:04:15 Speaker 01 There's no real dirt under the fingernails with them together.
1:04:18 H. Foley? Kelsey Cook and Chad Daniels.
1:04:20 Speaker 01 I love yous.
1:04:21 H. Foley? Pretend Problems is the podcast, as we said before. Kelsey has a new special out on Hulu and YouTube. Mark your territory. And Empty Nesters on Netflix.
1:04:29 Speaker 03 Thanks, guys.
1:04:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, fantastic. Thanks for coming by.
1:04:31 H. Foley? Look at you.
1:04:32 Speaker 03 Oh my god. This is the, this is the greatest.
1:04:35 Speaker 04 I have a lot of things I didn't say on the show. That I'd love to tell you about when we're done. She made me promise.
1:04:42 Speaker 01 It's okay, fair enough. She's got him hostage. She might be the fucking, you know, the master.
1:04:47 Speaker 04 The chewing of the toenails we left out of the DCA.
1:04:50 H. Foley? By the way, you didn't post a recipe about brownies or blondies recently, did you?
1:04:55 Speaker 03 Oh, yes.
1:04:56 H. Foley? That was you, with the Cadbury's?
1:04:57 Speaker 03 Yes, the Cadbury Eggs. Oh my god, you guys. Unbelievable. It was so good.
1:05:01 Speaker 01 We gotta change our algorithm.
1:05:03 H. Foley? It was very homey, very cozy.
1:05:04 Speaker 01 Why don't you start posting something about them smoothies or something? Get them on board.
1:05:07 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll send you the recipe. It was just a reel I found and decided to make them. And, Jesus, they were unreal.
1:05:13 H. Foley? My only gripe, only gripe.
1:05:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:05:16 H. Foley? Not that big into the Cadbury Mini Eggs. I'm more of a Hershey's Mini Eggs man. Would you have ever had those?
1:05:22 Speaker 03 Oh, I don't know if I have.
1:05:24 H. Foley? They're fantastic.
1:05:24 Speaker 03 Better than Cadbury.
1:05:25 H. Foley? Yes.
1:05:26 Speaker 04 You like the big, cream-filled Cadbury Eggs?
1:05:27 H. Foley? Love them.
1:05:28 Speaker 04 Okay, my daughter and I used to scoop out the yolks and we used to make omelets. And then we would just eat the chocolate shells afterwards. Yeah, we, uh, we like sugar.
1:05:37 Speaker 03 You're fucking crazy. Tell them what you used to do with Oreos.
1:05:41 Speaker 04 Have you, maybe you guys have done it.
1:05:42 Speaker 01 You ever kill a man with a cookie?
1:05:44 Speaker 04 Maybe. I used to pour a whole, uh, container of Oreos into a mixing bowl and then pour milk.
1:05:50 Speaker 01 I thought you said maybe you guys have done this.
1:05:51 Speaker 04 Milk on it?
1:05:52 Speaker 01 You guys are fat retards.
1:05:53 Speaker 04 No, no, no, that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I'm saying like, maybe.
1:05:57 Speaker 03 There's no light in your eyes.
1:05:58 Speaker 04 Pour milk and then you eat it like cereal.
1:06:00 H. Foley? Hundred percent.
1:06:00 Speaker 01 I've never done that.
1:06:02 H. Foley? Jen McDonald taught me that in ninth grade. We were over at her house and I saw her do it and I was like, holy shit. And I went home, crushed them up in a coffee cup, pour milk in there and eat it like cereal. The icing gets really hard and the cookie gets really soft.
1:06:13 Speaker 04 Oh, good. I'm tingling.
1:06:17 H. Foley? What else you guys got coming up?
1:06:18 Speaker 01 Plug dates away.
1:06:19 H. Foley? This will be right out.
1:06:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm gonna be in Tacoma at the end of the month. And then Portland, Atlanta, San Antonio, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Pittsburgh. And then I'm about to announce fall dates. So they're at kelseycook.com.
1:06:31 H. Foley? Love it. Love it. Mr. Daniels?
1:06:33 Speaker 04 Winnipeg, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Irvine, California, Pittsburgh.
1:06:39 H. Foley? Two of the absolute best, two of the absolute funniest.
1:06:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:42 H. Foley? Again, listen to their podcast, Pretend Problems. Check out the specials. Guys, we love you. Kippy, what do you got for them?
1:06:47 Speaker 01 Uh, this is coming out this week. There might be a few tickets left for Cleveland. Then we are off the road for a little bit, announcing fall dates, I think in like a week or two, so get ready for those.
1:06:56 H. Foley? Grab a set of cards, check out the Route 66 special. Guys, again, we love you.
1:07:00 Speaker 03 Oh, thank you guys.
1:07:01 H. Foley? And gang, we love you. And we'll see you next week.
1:07:02 Speaker 03 We love you.
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