Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast Harland Williams Returns! About this episode Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Harland Williams! We're talkin' Power Lunches, Fishing with the Fonz and tales of Hollywood's past. You know Harland Williams from stand up comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, the Harland Highway Podcast, This is Not Happening, Your Moms House w/ Tom Segura, Kill Tony, Tiger Belly w/ Bobby Lee, Take Your Shoes Off w/ Rick Glassman, You Be Trippin' w/ Ari Shaffir, TigerBelly and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
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Transcript 12,808 words · 5 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 H. Foley? Gang, the 2025 edition of the Are You Garbage card game, third edition is on sale right now at areyougarbage.com. Play it with your friends, play with your family, and see who is trash.
0:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here. Was your babysitter a man?
0:14 H. Foley? Yes, he was.
0:15 Speaker 01 Hit me. Ever been run over? How you doin'?
0:16 H. Foley? Yes, I have.
0:17 Speaker 01 Can you pick up stuff with your toes?
0:19 H. Foley? Yes, I can.
0:21 Speaker 01 Gang, available at areyougarbage.com, and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on board.
0:26 Speaker 02 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
0:45 H. Foley? Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
0:51 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
0:52 H. Foley? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they're good to be classy.
0:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:56 H. Foley? Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
0:58 Speaker 01 Trash, trash, trash.
0:59 H. Foley? I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's and a new addition. She just made a little breakfast.
1:05 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:06 H. Foley? Newport 100 and some cooking wine.
1:08 Speaker 01 That's not bad.
1:09 H. Foley? It's gonna be a short day. I'll tell you that right now. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him, and I don't care who knows it. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
1:24 Speaker 01 Ah, thank you very much. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video that's now available on Spotify over there. Part of that program. Go check that out. And Patreon.com/areyougarbage. Gang, all the fun happens there.
1:39 H. Foley? Yes, sir, and we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. One of the few, believe it or not, to come up classy.
1:50 Speaker 01 Put us through the wringer.
1:51 H. Foley? In the Are You Garbage algorithm. Don't let the sun-kissed coffee and can of Coke fool ya, or the MacGyver leather jacket that he walked in.
1:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:00 H. Foley? Give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Harland Williams, everybody. Look at him.
2:04 Speaker 01 Thank you. I mean, he just hit us like he was doing panel. That was good. Yeah, thank you. This guy's a goddamn pro. Thank you. So the last time you were here, we went back and did our research. We, you know, we had our data entry team. Go back and pull all the facts from the last episode and they said you were a big Coca-Cola slash maybe Diet Coke kinda guy. So we went out and got you some, we went out and got you a can of Coke and a can of Diet Coke.
2:30 H. Foley? He's a soda man.
2:31 Speaker 01 And he came in with his own bottle of Sunkist. And I go, "Do you want a Coke?" He goes, "I got some Sunkist in my bag I'm gonna have, but bring the Coke in case I wanna double dip."
2:39 H. Foley? Very Harvey P. Caro.
2:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:41 H. Foley? Harvey P. Caro, big soda guy. Big orange soda guy.
2:45 Speaker 01 He a comic?
2:46 H. Foley? No.
2:46 Speaker 03 He was a comic book artist. He was, did some very obscure, kind of Gen X style comedy. I can't even hear myself. Is that bad?
2:58 Speaker 01 We're not even doing a podcast right now.
2:59 Speaker 03 Well, I like my voice.
3:00 H. Foley? You're having a stroke with a lot of sugar.
3:02 Speaker 03 Let's see.
3:03 Speaker 01 How about that?
3:03 H. Foley? Are his headphones on?
3:04 Speaker 03 I really like my voice.
3:06 Speaker 01 Can you hear us?
3:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, I can hear you. Oh, there we go.
3:08 Speaker 01 There you go.
3:09 Speaker 03 Thanks, Tim.
3:11 Speaker 01 Oh, that's new guy Tim.
3:12 H. Foley? Charlie!
3:14 H. Foley? Hey, new guy Tim's alright.
3:15 Speaker 03 By the way, what does it take to become like a piece of garbage? Like, I guess I should've asked before I sat down. Like, how do you qualify?
3:23 H. Foley? You shocked us.
3:24 Speaker 01 He just turned the show on us.
3:26 H. Foley? You shocked us a little bit.
3:27 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
3:28 Speaker 03 I did?
3:28 H. Foley? Yeah.
3:29 Speaker 01 We thought you were gonna be a little more trashy, but you're, you know...
3:32 H. Foley? You're well-traveled.
3:33 Speaker 01 Well-traveled.
3:33 H. Foley? Well-educated. Come from good stock.
3:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:37 H. Foley? Very smart with your money.
3:38 Speaker 01 Good amount of cash.
3:39 H. Foley? Good amount of cash.
3:40 Speaker 01 The soda's not great, you know?
3:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:43 H. Foley? Give it indulgence.
3:44 Speaker 03 But what makes you garbage?
3:47 Speaker 01 I would have to argue two sodas on the table, two different sodas on the table at the same time is a step into the garbage realm.
3:53 Speaker 03 Okay, so I'm sort of litter, heading towards garbage?
3:58 Speaker 01 Yes, yes. You're refuse at the moment.
3:59 H. Foley? You're an old Big Mac wrapper.
4:01 Speaker 03 Okay, good.
4:02 H. Foley? Just outside the trash can.
4:03 Speaker 03 I love it.
4:05 Speaker 01 But we do have, we do have some, did you have anything you wanted to?
4:07 H. Foley? I was just gonna ask him how the flight in was.
4:09 Speaker 01 Okay.
4:10 Speaker 03 Oh, it was great. We only crashed twice.
4:13 Speaker 01 Those are good numbers.
4:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, as long as we get here, it's fine with me.
4:16 H. Foley? You fly up front, I assume? Gentlemen such as yourself?
4:19 Speaker 03 Uh, yeah, I'm a cockpit guy. I like... I like to look out the front window, yeah.
4:26 Speaker 01 Now, now I know why you crashed twice.
4:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's probably about right there now.
4:30 Speaker 01 Okay, huh.
4:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, I like to sit right up front. I like to know who's flying my rig. I like to know, get personable with the captain, the co-pilot. And just chit chat, feel like befriending them so that they're invested more in getting me there safely.
4:47 Speaker 01 You gotta get Harland to, "Are you garbage?" You know what I mean?
4:49 Speaker 03 Right. Like if I'm sitting back in the fuselage, in ambiguity row, I call it, where they don't know me.
4:57 Speaker 01 They must be faceless.
4:58 Speaker 03 I wanna be flying with a guy and make eye contact.
5:01 H. Foley? Sure.
5:02 Speaker 03 And sometimes I even play REO Speedwagon, "I can't take this feeling anymore," on my phone, while we're making eye contact. And I usually get there in pretty good shape.
5:13 H. Foley? The fuselage just sounds bad, doesn't it? It sounds like you're not gonna make it.
5:17 Speaker 01 You only hear it during a wreckage. Like, "We've located the fuselage." It's never like, "Hey, I'm sitting back here. It's great in the fuselage."
5:25 Speaker 03 It's a really weird word. And by the way, it's also a sex act in West Hollywood, just so you know.
5:30 H. Foley? Fuselage?
5:31 Speaker 01 If you've got enough cash on you.
5:32 H. Foley? I've done that before.
5:33 Speaker 01 Uh, now, if you are on a plane and you're back in the fuselage, as you say, you know, as a...
5:37 H. Foley? He's not. He's flying up front. What are you talking? This guy's got cash.
5:40 Speaker 01 It's still the fuselage. Even the first class is the fuselage, I believe. Will you ding the bell to let, you know, if you want another, you know, sun kissed or so? Will you call them over? Do you wait till they make the rounds?
5:52 Speaker 03 It's funny, on the flight up here, I had to ding the bell like four times because the, uh, you know, I haven't been drinking Coke all year.
6:01 Speaker 01 You said you've been doing pretty... I've been off Coke since January. Only had ten.
6:05 Speaker 03 Since January. I've only had ten, but on the flight, I sort of broke a little.
6:09 H. Foley? They're good on flights.
6:10 Speaker 03 It was a morning flight, and so I dung the lady. That sounded wrong. That sounded like a German movie.
6:16 H. Foley? They threw me off the plane.
6:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, I dunged the lady. Uh, but I dunged her, and she just sort of ignored it. So I wasn't gonna wait. When you get a Coke fix, you need it. So I dunged her again. And then I dunged her again. I think I dunged her four or five times.
6:31 Speaker 01 Really?
6:31 Speaker 03 Right in the fuselage.
6:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a lot of dunging.
6:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:35 H. Foley? Were you taking off or anything like that?
6:37 Speaker 03 No, we were midair, but she was just sort of, she was, it was very interesting. I have a hat that says, "Be a good human." And it's a blue baseball cap and everywhere I go, people are like, you know, they love that. They go out of their way to say, "Great hat." And when I walked in, this lady, she just went, "Yeah, good luck finding one of those."
6:57 H. Foley? Oh.
6:58 Speaker 03 Like, right out of, and I thought she was goofing. I was like, "Yeah, yeah." But everyone, she's like, just like nod, like scowling.
7:04 H. Foley? Is this the flight attendant?
7:05 Speaker 03 This is a flight attendant.
7:06 H. Foley? The same flight attendant that you dung four times?
7:08 Speaker 03 That I had to dung four or five times. And so, she was just not loving her life, I think. And so, I had to dung her five times. Like, I dung her real deep. And, uh, yeah, so it took her, what, funny you brought that up? Because usually, it's dung and done.
7:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:25 Speaker 03 But this was dung and not dung.
7:27 H. Foley? They recognize you on the plane, walking to the airport? I'm sure people stop you, "Hey, Harlan, let me get a pic."
7:32 Speaker 03 Yes, and that's, that sounds snobby, but that's part of the reason why I do sit up front. Because it's a bit confining in the fuselage. You're sort of trapped and what happens is...
7:43 H. Foley? You don't want to be back there with the heathens, I get it.
7:45 Speaker 03 No, no, it's not that, what...
7:47 Speaker 01 Amen, brother.
7:48 Speaker 03 What happens is when one person asks for a picture, then it sort of causes a chain reaction. And next thing you know, and it's very sort of, uh, it's flattering, but it causes anxiety. So, I just try to sit up front, just so I can just sort of have a little bit of privacy and, uh, yeah, yeah.
8:05 Speaker 01 Now, do you get that somewhat, because you're, you know, you're very recognizable. You've had a great career, like even, just not even the pictures or anything, but you're out to dinner. Does the waiter say that, like, "Hey, big fan"? Do you get that a lot?
8:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:16 Speaker 01 They know who you, everybody pretty much has, can recognize you.
8:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, I get a lot of that. Sometimes they even sit down, which is, which is, I'm not even joking.
8:25 Speaker 01 You done with this mozzarella stick?
8:28 Speaker 03 I've had waiters where they just, they get so ingratiated with you, they just slide in. And I've had it even when I've been with people. Like, they just, I was at one restaurant where I literally used to go to, in LA, the Wolfgang Pox. And I loved it.
8:43 Speaker 01 You are a bit of a foodie, we've learned last time. You feel like a nice restaurant, yeah.
8:46 Speaker 03 Foodie's a weird term.
8:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, I agree.
8:48 Speaker 03 Whenever I hear a woman go, "I'm a foodie," I go, "Well, in my day, we just called him a fatty, really."
8:54 Speaker 01 Tomato, tomato, you know what I mean?
8:56 Speaker 03 Good way to cover up eating a lot. "I'm a foodie," yeah. You look like you're a foodie.
9:01 H. Foley? Sounds like you like having sex with a duck breast, if you say a foodie.
9:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:05 H. Foley? Do you like a duck breast?
9:07 Speaker 03 I like it if the areolas are brown. I don't like pink areolas on my duck breast.
9:14 H. Foley? That's a South American duck.
9:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
9:17 H. Foley? Hold on, Wolfgang Pucks, we forget about this now. That, um, we love the, you know, we love the, you know, we're very nostalgic when it comes to Hollywood around that time.
9:26 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:27 H. Foley? You were there.
9:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:28 H. Foley? Do you remember when Wolfgang's opened? Like you were going.
9:31 Speaker 01 He was in the cockpit.
9:32 H. Foley? Were you going there in the 90s?
9:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's what I was saying. I would go there all the time and one of the waiters, he would literally sit down with whoever I was with and start talking to us. And the first couple of times was like, hey, and then it was, he'd not only sit down, but he'd stay for like five, six minutes. And I literally had to go to the manager and say, look, I don't want to get your guy in trouble. He's a great guy. We love coming here, but it's very uncomfortable. I said, if you don't tell him to back off, we're not coming anymore. And can you just please talk to him in a nice way? We don't want him to get fired.
10:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:08 Speaker 03 He's sort of overstepping the boundaries.
10:10 H. Foley? Sure.
10:10 Speaker 03 And we went back and it didn't stop. So we stopped going there. It was, it was.
10:15 H. Foley? No kidding?
10:16 Speaker 03 The guy was nice, but he just had no filter. He didn't realize he was really sort of imposing on an intimate moment, you know?
10:24 H. Foley? Of course, especially if you're having like a business thing or something like that.
10:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, business or with family or friends or it was just like, it didn't matter. He just popped down and a real chatterbox like it just on and on and on. And we were just like, can we get this, you know, the scallops please guy?
10:40 Speaker 01 He sits down like, can we get more bread around here?
10:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:42 H. Foley? You're also, which interests me from the time when like, uh, you know, as you were popping off, certain executives might, might want to, you know, work with you and stuff like that. They take you out to a dinner like that.
10:53 Speaker 01 Get wind and dine.
10:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. It's nice to be taken out and spoiled a little bit when you're.
10:58 H. Foley? Like the head of Sony or CBS or something like that takes you out? Now, when you would be in that situation, if like an executive would say, we want to be in the Harland Williams business.
11:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:07 H. Foley? And they take you out back in the day, would you be back, knowing that they're going to pay, they're going to pick up the check? Would you be banging them out or were you pretty?
11:15 Speaker 03 No, I would, I was, I'm a big lobster guy and there was a place in LA called The Palms.
11:21 H. Foley? Of cour- The Palm Restaurant?
11:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, so I would, I would get them to take me there, cause I thought, you know, they got, studios make 300 billion a year.
11:30 H. Foley? Of course.
11:30 Speaker 01 You can get a goddamn lobster.
11:32 Speaker 03 I'm gonna get, so I would take them to the, I would ask them to take me to The Palms.
11:36 H. Foley? That was your booth?
11:37 Speaker 03 And get a lobster, and it was really great, cause a lot of, um, I remember I went there once and Chris Farley was there eating.
11:43 Speaker 01 Oh shit.
11:44 Speaker 03 I went there once and, uh, the guy who plays Freddy Krueger was there eating, and you should've seen him cut his steak. Oh my god, he just flayed it, yeah. But, uh, Robert England, that's right, yeah.
11:55 H. Foley? Yeah, that is pretty cool.
11:56 Speaker 03 It was a good spot, and, and you don't feel bad when, when, you know, they're, they're whining and dining you, so why not do it nice? You know, you don't get that every day, so.
12:05 H. Foley? As a comic back then, that was somewhat of a fle- somewhat of a flex too, you would wanna go to where other comics might be having dinner. It's like, oh, look, Harland's having dinner with fucking, uh, Robert, Robert Evans.
12:16 Speaker 03 I didn't care about any of that, I just liked a good lobster. It was hard to find in LA.
12:22 H. Foley? See, that's why you're classy, you're right up the middle.
12:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:24 Speaker 01 Do you still like a nice lobster?
12:26 Speaker 03 I love it, I love it, I went yesterday to Luke's Lobster here in, you know, in, uh, New York.
12:31 Speaker 01 Wow.
12:32 H. Foley? Really?
12:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, I got a lobster roll, yeah, I love it.
12:34 H. Foley? Okay.
12:35 Speaker 03 It's weird, cause they have it at the subway station.
12:38 H. Foley? It's a little fast foodie, to be honest with you.
12:40 Speaker 03 It's odd to be eating an expensive lobster as a subway screeches by and it smells like a dutch oven. It's just like, you know, people walking by and you're sitting there eating a lobster, it's very peculiar, but it's like, you know, having an omelet upside down in a helicopter. It's just like bizarre.
13:01 H. Foley? That would be a frittata.
13:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:04 Speaker 01 Where do you like to get a lobster in LA? Like, where's the one place that you're going in LA, you're like, I'm getting a lobster here?
13:09 Speaker 03 Well, it was The Palms, but they shut it down recently.
13:12 Speaker 01 Oh no.
13:13 Speaker 03 So now, uh-
13:13 H. Foley? The Palm closed in LA?
13:15 Speaker 03 It closed, yeah.
13:15 H. Foley? With all the pictures on the wall and all that stuff?
13:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I even, they even had my picture up there at one point, so I was really, yeah. My manager took me one day and we sat down and we were having the lobster and he just goes, "Look up." And I look up and there's my face looking down, they, the artist would draw-
13:32 H. Foley? Yeah, that's big.
13:33 Speaker 03 And to me that was bigger than having a Hollywood star of fame, you know, just to have, have my face watching people eat was really fun.
13:41 H. Foley? That's pretty good.
13:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:43 Speaker 01 Is there anywhere else your picture is? A pizza plate that you know of, a pizza place, a barber shop, something, dry cleaner, or something like that?
13:49 Speaker 03 I think it's, you know, a lot of comedy clubs, but my favorite moment...
13:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, their headshot, everybody's...
13:56 Speaker 03 When I was in, uh...
13:58 Speaker 01 Tim's got his head up in there.
13:59 Speaker 03 Tim's got his head. Tim likes head. I, uh, I was starting out in Hollywood and things were just sort of getting going. And, uh, you know, you're kind of a nobody till you're a somebody. And near my house, there was a Blockbuster video. And they had a parking lot, and on the, on the little, like, the little cement blocks at the front where you pull in?
14:24 Speaker 01 Sure.
14:25 Speaker 03 Little block, they had people's names. And one day after, been going there for about two or three years, I pulled in, and I pulled, and my name was on, on the thing, and that, that made me so happy. It was like, it was really weird, yeah.
14:40 Speaker 01 You're in your car, ready to kill yourself. You see that, you're like, alright.
14:43 Speaker 03 Alright, I made it. Blockbuster parking lot.
14:46 Speaker 01 Hollywood, baby.
14:47 H. Foley? You ever meet Carson? You ever meet Johnny Carson?
14:49 Speaker 03 I never met him, but I, I was fortunate enough to, to go and, and see the taping of two of the shows in Burbank. Cause I had just moved to LA when he was sort of wrapping up. I think he was in his final...
15:03 H. Foley? Right.
15:03 Speaker 03 ...three years.
15:04 H. Foley? Yes.
15:05 Speaker 03 And I, I, I knew that I wasn't there long enough to, to get on the show, but I thought I at least want to see it. So I got, I got someone to help me get tickets to go in, and I got to sit there and watch him twice, like, come through and, and do it. So that was pretty special.
15:21 Speaker 01 That's amazing.
15:21 H. Foley? Something else back then.
15:22 Speaker 03 And then I did Star Search way back in the day, and Ed McMahon was the host, so that was like the next best thing.
15:29 H. Foley? You were on Star Search?
15:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:31 Speaker 01 How'd you do?
15:31 H. Foley? This is before everything, right?
15:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:33 H. Foley? This is before the movies and all that stuff?
15:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
15:35 H. Foley? How did you do?
15:36 Speaker 03 Uh, my first showing, I did, I got a perfect score.
15:41 Speaker 01 What?
15:41 Speaker 03 Yeah. And then my second showing, I got a perfect score, except for one judge decided he hated me and gave me the lowest score. And so I lost to another guy by like a third of a point or something.
15:55 H. Foley? Who was that guy? Do you remember?
15:56 Speaker 03 He was a DJ from, uh, San Francisco and the producer stopped the show. That they came up to me and they said, Harlem, we stopped the show. I go, why? He goes, this has never happened before. We asked the judge if he made a mistake. Cause everyone loved you and, and he, I said, well, what happened? He said, he just didn't like you. For whatever, whether my shirt was green or something. So he kind of blew it for me, but, um, but it was interesting. The guy that I beat on my first round was the guy that ended up winning the whole thing, which was weird because they, they added up all the points and he had won like three or four in a row. I knocked him out, but because of his accumulated points, he, so in a way I beat the guy that won the whole thing.
16:42 Speaker 03 None of it made sense.
16:43 H. Foley? And who was that guy? Was it somebody that became famous?
16:45 Speaker 03 Yeah. He's a, he's this redheaded, uh, is, I think he's a Scottish guy and you might know him. He does this whole thing where he does a PowerPoint presentation. Tall, redheaded guy. I forget his name, but his whole bit is he does a, a PowerPoint and he's very funny.
17:00 H. Foley? He's not Harlem Williams though.
17:02 Speaker 03 No, I don't even know if I am.
17:05 Speaker 01 Man, this just got meta.
17:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
17:07 Speaker 01 Do you know who that host was or the, the judge by any chance?
17:10 Speaker 03 I don't know. It was, it was a, it was a guy, a DJ, an African-American guy from, uh,
17:16 H. Foley? Harvey Fier.
17:17 Speaker 03 From, from, uh, San Francisco and he just,
17:20 Speaker 01 Didn't like you.
17:21 Speaker 03 Something I did just, and, and all the other judges gave me a perfect score and he, he gave me the lowest one you could get. So that was kind of a bummer.
17:28 H. Foley? That would have been big at the time. That's a hundred G's, I believe.
17:31 Speaker 03 It was, and I was sort of, I was like taking chances and I remember I did two new bits that I'd never done. On my, on my second outing. Like I did two new bits that I'd never even tried in a comedy club. So that probably wasn't the smartest thing, but I still did all, all right overall.
17:49 H. Foley? Look at you.
17:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
17:51 H. Foley? That's why you're classy, my friend.
17:52 Speaker 03 Oh geez.
17:53 H. Foley? For all those reasons.
17:55 Speaker 03 Okay.
17:55 H. Foley? Despite buzzing the lady, which she should have brought you a goddamn.
17:58 Speaker 01 Dung odor.
17:59 Speaker 03 Still, still not garbage yet? Or do you wait till the end of the show?
18:02 Speaker 01 Fuck, I almost won Star Search.
18:04 H. Foley? Yeah, I almost won Star Search. I don't think that, that ruling's not gonna change. I don't think.
18:09 Speaker 01 I mean, we'll, we'll see.
18:10 H. Foley? Okay, let's talk about Upside.
18:11 Speaker 01 Shout out to Upside.
18:13 H. Foley? Gang, one of the smartest apps you can have in your phone in 2025 is Upside. Upside gives you the power to earn more on the stuff you buy all the time. Whether you're filling up your tank, going out to eat, or shopping for groceries. The Upside app lets you earn cash back on every purchase. Upside users are making as much as, how much you think?
18:34 Speaker 01 I don't know, 50 bucks?
18:35 H. Foley? 280 bucks a year. What? That's a little bit of cash.
18:39 Speaker 01 That's a little bit of turkey.
18:40 H. Foley? What are we doing here?
18:41 Speaker 01 And everything matters at this day and age. You need every little, uh, nickel and dime you can get. And listen, 280 bucks ain't no nickel and dime either.
18:48 H. Foley? That's cash back, too.
18:49 Speaker 01 Uh, the free Upside app gets you cash back on daily essentials like gas, groceries, and dining. That they, we, uh, we use our promo code. We set one up for the, uh, for AYG. Anthony's got one. All the stuff on the road, we're bebopping the scat and we're fucking earning back and forth.
19:03 H. Foley? She's asking for advances on it.
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19:43 H. Foley? Yeah. Okay, let's talk about Helix one more time.
19:45 Speaker 01 Oh, I'll sing it from the rafters, baby. I love Helix.
19:48 H. Foley? We'll be talking about Helix from the get-go. We'll be talking about it to the end of time, baby. That's how much we love Helix. I'm telling you, it's got one problem over at Helix. The beds are too good.
19:59 Speaker 01 Big men don't want to get out.
20:00 H. Foley? Man, I want to stay in that thing all the time. That's my dream machine. That and a CPAP. Good night. Gang, do yourself a favor. Get over to Helix, take the two-minute quiz. Find out how you sleep, whether you sleep on your side, on your back, whether you sleep hot, you're cold, are you a big guy, you a small guy? Are you tall? They'll match you with the perfect mattress just for you and you'll be sleeping like a dream in no time.
20:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's each fully guaranteed.
20:27 H. Foley? Tell them Hank's saying it.
20:28 Speaker 01 It was one of, I mean, I've been using a Helix mattress for at least four years. When they signed on, they were nice enough to send me one. I was the first one to use it. I gotta tell you, there ain't no going back at all. I'm Helix through and through. So go to helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site wide, baby. That's helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com/garbage. Do it.
20:52 H. Foley? Do it.
20:53 Speaker 01 Now, back to the show. But let's get into it. So as you guys know, when you join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Uh, let's see here. This one, you know, you're at home. This is from Trav Hitme. "As a gentleman of class, is it garbage to leave your peanut butter knife on the edge of the sink for the next use rather than immediately washing? Will you do that with any utensil? If you're making something, you kind of set it off to the side or will you, will you, will you wash it?
21:19 Speaker 03 It depends what it is, but peanut butter is good because I do do that. I leave it, but it's, it's so viscous that you can just get a paper towel and go, and it's clean.
21:31 Speaker 01 The good feeling.
21:32 Speaker 03 You don't even have to wash it under the water. Yeah. But if it's like spaghetti sauce or Thai food where it like affixes itself and it encruses then you sort of got to wash it, you know?
21:43 Speaker 01 Okay.
21:44 Speaker 03 But I'll only do it if I run out of utensils. Like if I open the drawer and I go, oh, I got no more forks left. I go, I just, I ate Thai with this one last night. Let's wash it.
21:55 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
21:56 Speaker 03 That's garbage. Am I garbage?
21:57 Speaker 01 I can't picture Harlan Williams running out of forks for some reason.
21:59 H. Foley? No, I can't either.
22:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:01 H. Foley? We know the house is nice. We know, we know you got a nice set of silverware in there.
22:05 Speaker 03 Yeah. Oh, yeah, I do.
22:07 Speaker 01 You better believe it, sister.
22:08 Speaker 03 I actually bought my silver. This is a weird story. Glenn Campbell's garage sale. His estate sale. This guy.
22:17 Speaker 01 Who's Glenn Campbell?
22:18 H. Foley? What do you mean, he's an old country western stuff?
22:20 Speaker 03 Glenn Campbell, I am the linesman for the county. Hello, rhinestone cowboy?
22:25 Speaker 01 I apologize.
22:26 Speaker 03 I've been walking these streets.
22:29 H. Foley? That's crazy. See, that kinda shit is so cool to me.
22:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:31 H. Foley? Being in Hollywood at that time when all those guys were getting old and stuff like that.
22:35 Speaker 03 And dying.
22:36 H. Foley? Yeah.
22:36 Speaker 01 They could've had their lampshade if they wanted it.
22:38 H. Foley? Yeah, I'd love that stuff.
22:39 Speaker 03 So I bought his utensils and they're, they're kinda really cool. They're, they're like, they have like, what are those things? Rhinestones on them and they're just, they're kinda like...
22:48 Speaker 01 They don't.
22:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:50 Speaker 01 Really?
22:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:50 H. Foley? Got horsehair on them?
22:52 Speaker 03 No.
22:53 Speaker 01 They all got tassels on them?
22:54 Speaker 03 No, they're really cool, like custom, those guys have...
22:57 Speaker 01 What'd that set you back? Do you remember?
22:59 Speaker 03 It wasn't that much. I think they wanted about, uh, I think it was about 200 bucks for the whole set.
23:04 H. Foley? Is that an auction situation?
23:06 Speaker 03 No, this is like an estate sale.
23:07 H. Foley? How, I don't know what that, how does that work?
23:09 Speaker 03 Estate sales, it's like a fancy term for a garage sale, but it's more like people with money. They can't say garage sale.
23:16 H. Foley? So you go to the house?
23:17 Speaker 03 I went up to his mansion, yeah, up in Beverly Hills and there, that's the only thing I really wanted. I got his utensils. Unbelievable.
23:25 H. Foley? Anybody else you go to, you go to anybody else's estate sales like that?
23:29 Speaker 03 Who did I go to? I went to Farrah Fawcett's and, uh...
23:32 H. Foley? Got some underwear.
23:34 Speaker 03 No, this is weird. I don't even know if I should talk about this one.
23:37 Speaker 01 Okay. It's up to, I mean, that's totally your goal.
23:39 Speaker 03 Well, she was, she was part of my childhood. She was famous and she had, she did that famous poster with the red bathing suit.
23:47 H. Foley? Of course.
23:47 Speaker 03 And, as you know, in the end, she, she got the cancer, which was, and so she had to get a bunch of wigs made. And so when I went to her estate sale, I got, grabbed three or four of the wigs and sometimes I'd, I'll put on the red bathing suit.
24:04 Speaker 03 Okay, well.
24:05 Speaker 01 Harland after dark.
24:07 H. Foley? Wow. I don't think he's getting...
24:11 Speaker 01 That one can go either way and I respect it, my man.
24:13 Speaker 03 Right.
24:13 Speaker 01 Hey, to each their own, you know?
24:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I'll ice my nipples and get them good and hard. Well, you asked.
24:23 H. Foley? Peanut butter wise, you chunky? You chunky or you smooth? What do you like?
24:29 Speaker 03 I like chunky now and then, when as a kid I dug it more. Now I sort of like the smooth, like, yeah. But I'll go both ways, but smooth.
24:37 H. Foley? Is that a staple in the Williams home? Is there a jar of peanut butter always there?
24:41 Speaker 03 There's a jar of peanut butter, because I play a lot of sports. So sometimes if I'm not like, you know, if I-
24:48 H. Foley? A little protein, a little protein whack.
24:50 Speaker 03 If I need a kick, I know like I'll just spread some peanut butter on two pieces of bread and then boom, I got some-
24:57 Speaker 01 I gotcha. And what is the drink with that? As a soda man, we've talked, I was a soda man for a long time. What are you drinking with that? You make a peanut butter sandwich, you sit down to watch some TV? What's the beverage?
25:07 Speaker 03 I love apple juice.
25:08 Speaker 01 Whoa, that's a lot of sugar, I feel.
25:11 Speaker 03 But just sometimes, just because I like a kick, you know, and it's gonna sound odd, I'll drink a straight teriyaki. Like a great teriyaki sauce.
25:20 Speaker 01 Take the edge off a little bit, after a long day of work.
25:23 Speaker 03 Straight out of the bottle. Suck it like a demented gerbil with rabies.
25:27 H. Foley? I love a teriyaki.
25:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, right?
25:28 H. Foley? Nice and sweet little club soda.
25:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:31 H. Foley? You're an apple juice man.
25:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, I love apple juice.
25:34 H. Foley? That is interesting.
25:35 Speaker 01 What brand do you do? Do you do Mott's or do you like that, the nature's organ?
25:39 Speaker 03 I like the Mott's, yeah. I'll do the Mott's, I'm a Mott's guy.
25:44 H. Foley? What about Martinelli's? Do you know Martinelli's?
25:45 Speaker 03 I have two Martinelli's too. They usually come in the glass bottle. They're like sort of the champagne of apple juice.
25:51 H. Foley? Delicious.
25:52 Speaker 03 I remember I had a pool party once at my house and I invited-
25:56 Speaker 01 Martinelli, as far as the eye could see.
25:58 Speaker 03 I invited Will Ferrell up and, you know, we had all these people around and as a joke, I said, can I get you a drink, Will? And I guess he wasn't drinking and I said, what do you got? And I said, I got, you know, this, that, apple juice. And he said, give me an apple juice. So as a gag, I got an apple juice. Excuse me, and I put all this stuff in it. Like I put like, clamato juice and like milk and I mustard, like I just filled it with crap and I didn't think he drank it. So I go out and I hand it to him and he takes a big drink. He goes, yep, that's my Mott's. And I always remembered that.
26:38 H. Foley? That's alright. Ah, okay.
26:43 Speaker 01 Ah, okay. Um, growing up at any point, or can you weigh in on this? If you go to someone's house, uh, is it garbage if the toilet water is blue? Like, they have the cleaner in it?
26:54 Speaker 03 Right.
26:55 Speaker 01 How do you, do you have that? If not, how do you feel about that if you go over to someone's house?
26:59 Speaker 03 I, you know, it's, that's a weird one. It's, uh...
27:04 H. Foley? It's an old-school thing.
27:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, I think it's okay, cuz it shows that someone's trying to be clean.
27:10 Speaker 01 Taking care of the property.
27:10 Speaker 03 Either that, or some avatars live in their house. Or a Smurf drowned in the middle of the night, something. But, uh, I think it's fine, you know?
27:21 Speaker 01 Okay.
27:21 Speaker 03 I mean, blue, what it, what it also does is it masks your pee.
27:26 Speaker 01 Yes.
27:26 Speaker 03 So you don't have to look at yellow, you get to look at a nice hue of blue. So it's almost like looking into a tropical sunset or something. Like a Caribbean, and if you blow a conch shell while you're, while you're peeing, it really seals the deal.
27:42 Speaker 03 And if I have my Farrah Fawcett wig on...
27:44 H. Foley? This would make a lot more sense.
27:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:46 Speaker 01 Isn't it hard to pee with an erection, though?
27:48 H. Foley? How many bathrooms are in, in the house, right now?
27:52 Speaker 03 In the house?
27:52 H. Foley? Yes, in your house.
27:53 Speaker 03 Or in my house?
27:54 H. Foley? In your house.
27:55 Speaker 03 Oh, man.
27:56 Speaker 01 So he gets spurned.
27:57 Speaker 03 You guys, you guys.
28:00 Speaker 01 Doesn't like giving up the deed.
28:01 H. Foley? Doesn't like giving up the info.
28:03 Speaker 01 He'll tell you, put a wig and a, a wig and a bathing suit on and whack off.
28:06 Speaker 03 I'm a private guy, you guys are pushing me to the limit here. Uh, there's three in my, in my house.
28:13 H. Foley? One downstairs, like a powder room?
28:15 Speaker 03 No, I live on a flat, level house, yeah.
28:18 H. Foley? Ah!
28:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, so, yeah, three, yeah.
28:21 Speaker 01 It's pretty good.
28:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:23 H. Foley? So we were over at the house for the pool party. Is there a designated bathroom that we can go into?
28:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, in the guest room.
28:31 H. Foley? In the guest room?
28:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:32 H. Foley? Now, what if I went into the bathroom in, in, in your room? Would you be upset with that?
28:37 Speaker 03 No, if you were invited guest and you needed to go in there, that'd be fine.
28:40 H. Foley? I can go anywhere.
28:41 Speaker 01 Yeah. Can he poop in there? Would you, would not, obviously?
28:44 Speaker 03 I won't know, I won't know, I don't stand and...
28:46 Speaker 01 Trust me, you would know.
28:46 Speaker 03 I don't stand and watch my guests.
28:48 Speaker 01 The homeowners association would be calling.
28:50 Speaker 03 I don't go in with them.
28:52 Speaker 01 Stand and watch?
28:53 Speaker 03 I give them the, the credibility that they know how to do a pee or a movement on their own. But.
28:58 Speaker 01 Now, how do you feel about that situation? If you were at someone's house, right?
29:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:02 Speaker 01 Let's just say you're at a holiday party.
29:04 Speaker 03 Hmm.
29:04 Speaker 01 You know, it's, you've been there for two or three hours. You've eaten, but you still, you gotta open the presents or whatever. There's still a couple hours of, and you get the feeling that you have to go to the bathroom quite bad. A number two. And the only bathroom is by kind of where the festivities are happening.
29:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:20 Speaker 01 Do you feel okay going into the primary bedroom and going into their, their bathroom and taking a number two there? Would that, would that feel okay for you?
29:28 Speaker 03 Well, it's an uncomfortable thing, obviously. So I, for years, I tried to figure a way around it. And I consulted with my doctor. He got me a nice colostomy bag.
29:37 Speaker 01 There you go.
29:38 Speaker 03 So I can.
29:39 Speaker 01 You can go anywhere.
29:40 Speaker 03 I can be sitting there opening presents or saying grace.
29:43 Speaker 01 Or doing a podcast. We're doing it right here.
29:45 Speaker 03 Yeah. Drop a C cucumber while I'm celebrating.
29:49 Speaker 01 Okay.
29:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:51 H. Foley? If you were at like a fancy Hollywood party.
29:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:54 H. Foley? The who's who is there.
29:55 Speaker 01 And we're there, right?
29:56 H. Foley? And you had, and we're talking celebrities. Jack Nicholson, fucking Mel Gibson. I don't know who else. Everybody's there.
30:02 Speaker 01 Danny DeVito.
30:02 H. Foley? Danny DeVito. And you had to use the, you had to go. Would you leave?
30:08 Speaker 03 I would leave the party, yeah.
30:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's what, that's what you do.
30:12 Speaker 03 Oh, I thought, you said if I had to go.
30:14 H. Foley? No, if you had to take, if you had to make a doo doo.
30:17 Speaker 03 No, no, what I'd do is I'd do one of those fake Hollywood hugs. And as I was hugging DeVito, I'd squish one out into my colostomy bag.
30:26 Speaker 01 No one, no one's done the wiser.
30:27 Speaker 03 He wouldn't know.
30:28 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
30:28 Speaker 03 He would just think there was a caterpillar crawling up my back or something.
30:37 Speaker 03 Too soon?
30:40 Speaker 01 Uh, all right, let's see, this is one, speaking of celebrities, a big celebrity heavy. This is from Victor. His question is, does your family have any multi-generational beefs with a celebrity? Back in the day, my mom worked in a restaurant and George Thoroughgood came in. The restaurant comped his meal and he unfortunately didn't tip. Growing up, every time a Thoroughgood song came on, my mom would turn it off. That being said, I still don't listen to him to this day and I'm gonna raise my son the same way.
31:05 Speaker 03 Whoa.
31:05 Speaker 01 Have you had any, is there any, you know, not beefs, obviously, but like, you know, is there anybody your family didn't like growing up of like, yeah, we don't listen to them. We don't watch this, like out of, out of some sort of odd interpretive beef?
31:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, one of my sisters was a waitress at a diner.
31:21 Speaker 01 Okay.
31:21 Speaker 03 And, uh.
31:23 Speaker 01 I already don't know if I can believe him.
31:25 H. Foley? I just noticed that-
31:26 Speaker 03 What's a sister at a diner? What's so hard to believe?
31:29 Speaker 01 That's how good you are.
31:30 H. Foley? I just noticed the tape measure on his waist, by the way.
31:34 Speaker 01 Holy shit, he's got a 25-foot Stanley tape measure on him.
31:38 Speaker 03 Well, I like to measure things when I'm walking around. I've got like, remember when Jack Nicholson in As Good As Couldn't Step Over Cracks?
31:44 H. Foley? Yes.
31:45 Speaker 03 I measure everything. Like, I saw a guy coming at me today down the sidewalk, and I measured the space between his eyes. And it was 11 inches, so I-
31:54 Speaker 01 That's a lot.
31:55 Speaker 03 I crossed the street and went the other way, yeah. Like, that just makes me uncomfortable.
32:01 H. Foley? That's a weird-looking dude.
32:03 Speaker 01 You gotta get to the doctor.
32:04 H. Foley? Good luck finding a pair of sunglasses to fit that face.
32:07 Speaker 03 God, freak.
32:09 Speaker 01 I saw, it's funny, I saw him put it on over there. I saw him putting something on his belt, but it didn't register.
32:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, I like to just sort of-
32:17 Speaker 01 So you traveled with that? You got on a plane with the tape measure?
32:21 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. The guy sitting beside me, I was like, "Sir, I need your arm to be a foot and 3 inches. Do not touch me."
32:30 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
32:32 Speaker 03 So that's okay, everyone has their quirks.
32:34 Speaker 01 Sure, sure.
32:35 H. Foley? So your sister's working at a diner?
32:37 Speaker 03 She's working at a diner, and who walks in? None other than Nellie Frittato. Do you know this one?
32:42 H. Foley? I know exactly. I just saw a clip of hers yesterday.
32:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:45 H. Foley? That's so funny.
32:47 Speaker 01 This had to be recently, then.
32:49 Speaker 03 Well, she's gotten big, yeah. Nellie's gotten big. And, uh, my-
32:55 Speaker 01 Geez.
32:56 Speaker 03 She, uh, my sister's, you know, she said-
32:59 Speaker 01 She's a foodie.
33:00 Speaker 03 She's a foodie, yeah. And, uh, she ordered a vanilla milkshake, and my sister was like, "We're out of ice cream." Like, we just, the shipment didn't come in. And, uh, she threw a hissy fit- And she goes, "I want a vanilla milkshake, B." She called her the, she said,
33:19 Speaker 01 Oh shit.
33:20 Speaker 03 She didn't even, she didn't even say that. She said, "Biosh."
33:22 Speaker 01 Oh.
33:23 Speaker 03 Like she said, "I want a vanilla milkshake, biosh." And my sister said, "We don't have, we don't have any milk." And she stood up and she goes, "I'll show you what milk is biosh." And she pulled her right thunder jug out and slapped my sister right across the face. And my sister came home with an areola mark on her cheek. Looked like she'd been stung by a jellyfish, but it was actually Nelly Furtado's giant areola.
33:48 H. Foley? Now, would that keep you from listening to her music and passing that on from generation to generation? Never listened to Nelly Furtado?
33:54 Speaker 01 What is she, I'm like a bird?
33:55 H. Foley? She slapped, slapped your aunt in the face?
33:56 Speaker 03 No, my sister. It actually-
33:59 H. Foley? That would be, if it was the next generation, it would be their aunt.
34:02 Speaker 03 But it was my sister.
34:03 H. Foley? No, I'm saying you would be telling the next generation of your family.
34:06 Speaker 03 This is my story, guy.
34:08 Speaker 01 Hey buddy, this is the story I'm making up.
34:11 Speaker 03 But I started listening to her more because I didn't, I don't really like my sister.
34:16 Speaker 01 Sure.
34:17 Speaker 03 And she probably had that Furtado tit coming.
34:21 Speaker 01 I know, yeah, for sure.
34:22 Speaker 03 Yeah. Are you a Furt- Nelly Furtado fan?
34:24 Speaker 01 Is it, I'm, she's like, "I'm like a bird."
34:26 H. Foley? I'm like a bird.
34:26 Speaker 01 I mean, that's a hit.
34:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:27 H. Foley? Came out 25 years ago this month.
34:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:31 H. Foley? I swear to God, I just saw-
34:32 Speaker 01 Fucking Johnny Billboard over here.
34:33 H. Foley? It was, I, I saw a YouTube short yesterday of, of five songs that came out 25 years ago today.
34:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:39 H. Foley? And that was one of them.
34:40 Speaker 03 She's Greek.
34:42 H. Foley? She is Greek.
34:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:43 H. Foley? K T two. Wow. Very cute.
34:47 Speaker 01 You guys in the fan club, the hell, you know all these random Furtado facts?
34:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:52 H. Foley? She was a big star.
34:52 Speaker 03 Furtado, by the way, also a sex act in West Hollywood.
34:57 Speaker 01 I want you to-
34:58 H. Foley? Invented by Harlan Williams.
35:00 Speaker 03 Yeah. And the full act is a Nelly Furtado. If you ever want to do the full-
35:06 H. Foley? Nelly Frappe.
35:07 Speaker 03 There you go.
35:08 H. Foley? Ah, the Greek, I'm tying it all in.
35:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, you are.
35:11 H. Foley? See? We're riffing here, Kippy.
35:13 Speaker 01 Listen, I know, I'm with it. Um, all right, this one's from Augustus. Uh, "Do you think it's garbage or smart to fuse the last bit of an old bar of soap with a new bar?"
35:25 Speaker 03 That's sort of garbage.
35:26 Speaker 01 That's garbage.
35:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:28 Speaker 01 Okay.
35:28 Speaker 03 I mean.
35:29 Speaker 01 I respect it.
35:29 Speaker 03 Soap is so cheap.
35:31 Speaker 01 Sure.
35:31 Speaker 03 Like, why go through all that stuff to fuse something together?
35:35 Speaker 01 Especially when you got a brand-new big one right there for you.
35:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, that's science. That's how they create new species of trees, by the way. They actually fuse branches together and the DNA intertwines and they make like, you know, different types of fruit, you know, trees and all kinds of...
35:54 H. Foley? So you end up with a dire wolf, huh?
35:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's sort of, you know, so you don't need to be...
35:59 Speaker 01 You've been on YouTube Shorts a lot, huh?
36:00 Speaker 03 You don't want to blend like Irish Spring with Dial, you know? Because in Ireland, that's a time bomb.
36:09 H. Foley? That's Protestant shit, right?
36:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:11 H. Foley? I assume you're not a bar man these days, right? I'm sure you're a, uh, some type of body wash?
36:18 Speaker 01 A liquid soap?
36:19 Speaker 03 Uh, no, I like both.
36:21 Speaker 01 Okay.
36:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:22 H. Foley? What is your proper disposal of the end of a bar of soap?
36:27 Speaker 03 When it's that little thing?
36:29 H. Foley? There is a correct answer to this.
36:30 Speaker 01 Turns into like wet paper.
36:32 Speaker 03 I just sort of throw it on the shower floor and press it into the drain.
36:37 Speaker 01 Really?
36:37 Speaker 03 I have a drain with all the little holes. Looks like Bryan Adams' face when he was 17. And I just...
36:43 H. Foley? That's rude.
36:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:45 Speaker 01 That's a deep gut.
36:45 Speaker 03 It's, well, they're called...
36:46 H. Foley? And a solid Canadian!
36:47 Speaker 03 They're called pockmarks. And what I do is I just press it in and then the water slowly dissolves it. And I hope it goes out to the sea and washes a dirty, fat, fucking bull shark. Because they're dirty.
37:00 Speaker 01 You better believe it, sister.
37:03 H. Foley? The proper answer, the garbage answer.
37:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:05 H. Foley? See, again, why am I classy? That's, I don't know if that's classy, but that's not the trash answer. The trash answer is you take it and you put it in the toilet. That's what we always did.
37:15 Speaker 01 I don't think you should be flushing that.
37:16 H. Foley? Yeah, you put it in the toilet and it disintegrates even more and you just flush it away. That's what my mom always did. It was always one sitting in there.
37:22 Speaker 01 She's a plumber, so you gotta listen to her.
37:24 Speaker 03 But what's the difference? Like, if you put it...
37:26 Speaker 01 It's going to the same place.
37:28 H. Foley? Yeah, there's no difference.
37:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:30 H. Foley? It's just one happens to be trashier than the other.
37:32 Speaker 03 Okay, okay.
37:33 Speaker 01 I might have to push back on that.
37:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, I think so.
37:36 Speaker 01 You know, I don't think one's try- I don't- listen, they're, you know, I don't think the queen's doing either one of them.
37:40 H. Foley? Of course.
37:41 Speaker 01 Uh, I think using your feet, you know, tends to be a little trashier.
37:46 H. Foley? I'll give you that.
37:47 Speaker 03 But think of it-
37:48 Speaker 01 But I've done that in the past.
37:49 Speaker 03 What is the function of soap? To clean yourself.
37:52 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
37:52 Speaker 03 How often have you ever lifted your foot and washed the bottom of your foot?
37:55 Speaker 01 Never once.
37:56 Speaker 03 So for practical reasons, if you put it on the floor of the shower, in the- in its last act before it dissipates, you're actually using it for what it was made for. You're washing the bottom of your foot, whereas you're putting a chunk in the water of the toilet that has no practical purpose.
38:13 H. Foley? I agree.
38:14 Speaker 01 So now that's even the classy answer.
38:16 H. Foley? There you go.
38:17 Speaker 03 I think we won that one.
38:19 H. Foley? But that would stand as-
38:20 Speaker 01 I beat you by two feet.
38:21 H. Foley? If that's- that stands to reason that you only wash your feet once every six months, because how often are you running out of soap?
38:27 Speaker 01 I mean, if you think a bar of soap lasts six months, I think that's our first problem. That's- that's a-
38:31 H. Foley? You think less than six months?
38:33 Speaker 01 Significantly less than six months.
38:34 Speaker 03 And nobody washes the bottom of their feet. Have you ever stood in the shower and with- yeah, so-
38:40 Speaker 01 I would say elbows.
38:41 Speaker 03 So you're almost doing yourself a favor by stomping it into the bottom of the shower and you're washing your feet. You're- you're utilizing that product to the very, very end, which is-
38:53 H. Foley? Which is classy, which is what I'm saying. I'm saying the trashier version is to put it in the toilet.
38:57 Speaker 03 Right.
38:58 H. Foley? I don't know if you guys got confused.
38:59 Speaker 01 Do you have how long a bar of soap lasts?
39:01 Speaker 04 About a month.
39:02 H. Foley? About a month.
39:03 Speaker 04 That's what they're saying.
39:04 Speaker 01 You are six times dirtier than the rest of the Americans walking around.
39:07 H. Foley? According to nine out of ten, Dennis.
39:10 Speaker 01 Okay.
39:11 Speaker 03 Fair enough.
39:12 H. Foley? Wild. Kent, what do you know about Pesti?
39:14 Speaker 01 Oh, baby, I did it two weeks ago out of the burbs.
39:17 H. Foley? Gang, it's the springtime and you got the bugs starting to come out of the woodwork. You know, they're hibernating in the winter. They start crawling around. There's spiders, ants. Everybody starts getting around. Do yourself a favor, get over to Pesti, pet-friendly, kid-friendly bug repellent, and take it from the bug man. He knows.
39:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, with Pestis, do yourself pest control. You can protect your home easily and at a quarter of the cost. Other pest control companies charge over $800 a year, but with Pestis, you can get started at just 35 bucks per treatment with a customized plan based on your location, your bugs, and your climate.
39:47 H. Foley? There you go.
39:48 Speaker 01 They do it all. They look up, beep, boop, pop. This is where you're at. This is what it is. Bada bing, bada boom. Listen, my wife is, my wife got us on Pestis two years ago. I've been using it for two years, way before they even knew they were going to be a sponsor.
39:58 H. Foley? Love it.
39:58 Speaker 01 It's fantastic. You come over, you feel like, you feel like the bug man. It's, you're doing it all up. It's easy peasy. Um, I just did it, I'm not even more than, no more than two weeks ago, I was out in the burbs, John Q homeowner, taking care of my house, protecting my family and my dog from bugs.
40:15 H. Foley? Safe for the kids, safe from the, for the dogs.
40:17 Speaker 01 And if you guys have pets out there, you know, that's the number one thing. Say you can't be dumping chemicals all over the house.
40:22 H. Foley? No.
40:22 Speaker 01 Um, so here it is, baby. Protect your home and, uh, protect your home from bugs with Pestis. Go to pestie.com slash AYG for an extra 10% off your order. That's pesti, P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash AYG for an extra 10% off.
40:35 H. Foley? Do it. Get me Shopify.
40:37 Speaker 01 Shopify, Shopify, Shopify.
40:39 H. Foley? Shopify, Shopify. Shopify is right, gang. If you run a small business, you know, there's nothing small about it. It's a big deal.
40:48 Speaker 01 Sure.
40:49 H. Foley? All right. And if you want to run your business right, your online business, you gotta be using Shopify. It's just how things work. Everybody's using it. We're a Shopify family. We know we got a lot of hustlers out there, a lot of people doing side gigs and all that kind of stuff, that that's what they really want to be doing. Get linked up with Shopify and take your business to the next level.
41:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S.
41:13 H. Foley? Whoa.
41:13 Speaker 01 From household names like Mattel and Jimm Shark to brands like us, AYG. We are Shopify company.
41:19 H. Foley? That's big market share.
41:20 Speaker 01 It tackles all the important tasks in one place. Inventory, payments, analytics and everything, uh, makes marketing, uh, makes the marketing mine felt easy with built-in tools, running social media, email campaigns, the whole nine yards. Uh, with over, with 99.99% uptime and the best converting checkout on the planet. You'll never miss a sale again, only with Shopify. Uh, is if in person is more your thing, Shopify, award-winning. Point of sale connects your online and offline sales all in one place. We use it on the road. If you buy a t-shirt on the road, bada bing, it's all through Shopify.
41:50 H. Foley? Look at that.
41:50 Speaker 01 Uh, here's the turkey. Get all the big stuff from your small business, um, with Shopify. Sign up for the $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/garbage. Go to Shopify.com/garbage. Shopify.com/garbage. Do it. Shopify, the back to the show. All right, let's see here. Uh, this is from Turd Ferguson. Do you know anybody or have you ever been sprayed by a skunk?
42:13 Speaker 03 Uh, no, I've, I've been, uh, close. I've been around a lot of skunks in my life.
42:19 Speaker 01 Where at? In your travels or?
42:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, I used to, I mean, I spent a lot of time in nature and even in, in LA, there's a ton of skunks.
42:28 Speaker 01 Really?
42:29 Speaker 03 I was sitting in my living room one night watching TV and one came running. I, I used to leave the door open in the summer. One came running right in. I'm laying on my couch, got about halfway to me and it just went, "Hey!" And he turned around and ran back out.
42:42 Speaker 01 Freaked out.
42:44 Speaker 03 But they're an amazing animal because you know, every other animal in the animal kingdom has some kind of defense. Claws or fangs or, or teeth and, and this is the only animal in the animal kingdom has a, has main line of defense shoots ass sauce.
42:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:01 Speaker 03 It's like, it's just like ass Gatorade.
43:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, just all over you.
43:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's like it turns around, shows you its calamari ring.
43:09 H. Foley? Which other than that, they're cute as a button. They're adorable.
43:12 Speaker 03 Some people have them as pets. They get them de-scented, de-glanded, yeah.
43:16 Speaker 01 We had a, we had a family of them living underneath our house for a long time and it was, it was bad.
43:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, they, that.
43:23 H. Foley? Couldn't get rid of them.
43:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, and that odor is just incredible.
43:27 H. Foley? Tried to cover it up with mothballs. It was bad. It's like somebody died in the house.
43:31 Speaker 03 Oh no.
43:32 H. Foley? It was the 80s. What are you gonna do?
43:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:34 Speaker 01 It was a wild time.
43:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:35 H. Foley? Rough time.
43:36 Speaker 01 Uh, all right, let's see. This one's from Cameron, uh, $10 homie. Uh, let's see. Are you garbage if you grew up eating ketchup on everything? Cheetos, steak, corn, everything?
43:48 Speaker 03 Well, I grew up in Canada and we actually had ketchup flavored potato chips.
43:53 Speaker 01 Right. Very, we, we discovered them on this show.
43:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, so we didn't have to kind of dip stuff into it. A lot of our food products.
44:01 Speaker 01 Is infused.
44:01 Speaker 03 Already had it, yeah, but um, yeah, I think you can overdo it. It's like scrambled eggs, french fries, grilled cheese, and not much else.
44:12 Speaker 01 Okay.
44:13 Speaker 03 I think if you do it and on anything else, you're a piece of garbage.
44:16 Speaker 01 Sure. Do you keep it in the house?
44:18 Speaker 03 The ketchup?
44:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Do you, do you constantly have it in the fridge?
44:22 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
44:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
44:24 H. Foley? Ketchup man?
44:25 Speaker 01 We doing Heinz, you doing Hunts, you doing?
44:27 Speaker 03 Heinz.
44:27 Speaker 01 Heinz.
44:28 Speaker 03 Heinz, yeah. There's that little, um, people don't know this a lot of the time, but there, there's this little, on the glass bottles of it.
44:36 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
44:37 Speaker 03 They've got the 57.
44:39 H. Foley? Tap the 57s.
44:39 Speaker 03 And you, you hit the 57 and it, that's what knocks it out.
44:44 Speaker 01 That was, uh, when I learned that, you, you're like supposed to spin it and there's like little 57s in it. Do you know this?
44:48 H. Foley? Yeah, I know, of course.
44:49 Speaker 01 Tap the 57s. I learned that as like a 12-year-old and man, blew my fucking mind.
44:54 Speaker 03 You ever do that when you're doing the 69 position?
44:56 Speaker 01 Tap the 69s.
44:57 Speaker 03 Hit your partner on the hip? Boy, it gets messy.
45:01 H. Foley? She throws up on ya?
45:01 Speaker 03 Well.
45:02 Speaker 01 Hits her with her glands real quick.
45:04 Speaker 03 You decide.
45:07 H. Foley? Yeah, I haven't touched your Coke or your, your.
45:09 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Let's crack that sucker open.
45:14 H. Foley? Whoa, that was a, that was good effervescent.
45:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's pretty good.
45:20 H. Foley? You know, you gotta watch. You're a California man. You're not gonna be able to get that out there.
45:24 Speaker 03 What?
45:25 H. Foley? Cause they're taking, you're not allowed to have the, uh, the dyes in them anymore.
45:28 Speaker 03 Is that right?
45:29 H. Foley? Yeah, they're gonna start making them the way they do in Europe.
45:31 Speaker 03 Well, what else is gonna make you die faster than, that's a nice dye.
45:35 H. Foley? Figure something out.
45:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
45:37 Speaker 01 Got our best guys on it.
45:39 Speaker 03 Yeah. Wow, that's sad.
45:41 H. Foley? Yeah. It'll probably be just as good.
45:43 Speaker 03 It's like salmon. They say most salmon, farmed salmon is, is white. It's, it's like they, they add the pink coloring. So you're supposed to buy.
45:52 H. Foley? Wild.
45:52 Speaker 03 Wild-caught salmon.
45:54 H. Foley? Yeah.
45:54 Speaker 03 But the farm stuff is, is just like a bland color, like sort of like this coffee cup.
46:00 H. Foley? And it's actually theoretically, if you wanna get technical.
46:03 Speaker 03 I do.
46:03 H. Foley? From my server experience, it's not really salmon, it's trout.
46:08 Speaker 03 No.
46:09 H. Foley? Yeah.
46:10 Speaker 01 Lucas, get eyes on that.
46:11 H. Foley? Go ahead.
46:11 Speaker 01 I'm not, I'm just saying I've never heard of that.
46:13 Speaker 03 The farmed salmon is salmon. I've seen the salmon farms.
46:17 H. Foley? Luke? You're talking about the salmon farms in Scotland?
46:21 Speaker 03 No, like off the coast of Alaska and British Columbia. They're, they're like Koho salmon.
46:27 H. Foley? With the, with the, with the tents around them, with the things around them.
46:29 Speaker 03 Huge giant pools, yeah.
46:31 H. Foley? That might be real salmon.
46:32 Speaker 03 There's, because they're saltwater trout are, are freshwater fish.
46:36 H. Foley? A lot of the salmon on the, am I right?
46:38 Speaker 04 You're wrong.
46:38 H. Foley? Oh, ha, what do you have? He don't know.
46:41 Speaker 01 Did he mix any factor? You find it anything that he's basing this off of?
46:45 Speaker 04 Uh, there's a term salmon trout because trout are freshwater and will sometimes be in the fords, but you're wrong.
46:53 H. Foley? How am I wrong?
46:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:54 Speaker 04 Because salmon and trout are different.
46:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:57 H. Foley? Alright.
46:58 Speaker 03 I'm a fisherman, so you can't, can't get a-
47:00 H. Foley? We're cutting this anyway. I'm winning, I'll tell you that.
47:03 Speaker 03 Why don't you fillet it instead?
47:06 Speaker 01 Get Freddy Krueger over here.
47:07 Speaker 03 You can't get around me with any fish stuff.
47:09 H. Foley? Hold on, wait.
47:09 Speaker 01 Are you a big fisherman?
47:11 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm, yeah.
47:12 H. Foley? Salmon trout. So what does that mean?
47:14 Speaker 03 That's a species.
47:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:16 H. Foley? A species of salmon?
47:18 Speaker 03 It's a salmon, it's probably a trout. If it's freshwater, it's a trout.
47:22 Speaker 04 It refer, yeah, it's a salmon trout, which is a trout.
47:25 Speaker 01 Which is a kind of trout.
47:26 H. Foley? So I'm saying they pass that off as salmon, is what I'm saying.
47:30 Speaker 03 No, but I guess technically because it's got both names, you could go to a restaurant, "Oh, enjoy the salmon trout." Like that they just say it.
47:38 Speaker 04 It's confusing to people like you.
47:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:42 Speaker 01 Well, you're gonna hear about that in the weekly meeting. Do they serve salmon trout?
47:46 H. Foley? Yes. Is, is salmon trout farmed, raised and served at restaurants passed off as salmon?
47:52 Speaker 03 Not likely. They only, they only farm the, the fish that are in high demand, like catfish, salmon, things like that. Oh yeah, catfish are harvested. They, they have huge catfish farms in, in Asia.
48:06 H. Foley? Huh.
48:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:07 H. Foley? That I didn't know.
48:08 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm, yeah, and salmon, they have lots of, uh-
48:11 H. Foley? Have you ever been canoodling?
48:13 Speaker 03 Noodling.
48:15 H. Foley? Have you done that?
48:15 Speaker 03 I haven't done it, but I wrote a movie about it and we're waiting to get funding for it. Really? Yeah, yeah. I wrote a movie for me and Kirk Fox. Ah, I like Kirk Fox.
48:26 H. Foley? Love that Kirk Fox.
48:26 Speaker 03 So we were actually just waiting to find out about getting the funding for a movie called Noodlers. Cause I, I'm fascinated. It's a form of fishing where you use your arm to catch 50, 60 pound catfish in the muddy rivers. It's only legal in 16 states. They show chicks doing it too, like hot chicks. Yeah, women do it. Yeah. And you have to have a spotter because the fish are so big. You're standing in the river, the fish can get so big they can actually pull you under. Uh, catfish don't have traditional teeth. They have little, it's almost like sandpaper. They have little like little nubs, these rough little things to grip. So when, when they, they dig these big cavernous caves in the banks of the muddy rivers
49:11 Speaker 03 and, and the noodlers walk along and they find, and they put their arm in. And traditionally these caves is where the, the catfish, um, um, deliver their babies. And so as a protective measure, they lash out and they engulf the arm. And you have to pull these catfish up. I would freak out. With your arm on, yeah.
49:33 H. Foley? Can't they slap you too? I thought catfish can hit you with their tail.
49:36 Speaker 03 Oh yeah. I mean, if they, if, if you lifted them up, any fish could do that. But fat catfish also in their, in their side fins, the front of their fin is a bone. It's almost like, it's like a, like a needle.
49:48 H. Foley? Oh, okay.
49:49 Speaker 03 So that's, that can cut you and hurt you.
49:52 Speaker 01 That was always when you were kids fishing, we'd catch a catfish. It's like, be careful. Go through your hand. I know it got wally. It went through his hand, straight through.
49:59 Speaker 03 Yeah. And everyone thought it was the whiskers, but it was the front of those fins. Yeah. But they're a delicious fish to eat.
50:05 Speaker 01 Now, how do you, as a, as a noodling expert yourself, how do they know, do they know it's in that hole at the time? Or are they just reaching? Cause it's, I've seen some where they go, there's one in here. How do they know? Do they reach in and poke around?
50:17 Speaker 03 Well, usually the water's muddy, so they're just feeling around. They, they get a sense of it. And then they, they kind of feel the hole and. You know, they have to guess like any form of fishing, but.
50:26 H. Foley? Imagine sticking your hand in there, that'd fucking bug me out.
50:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, it'd be pretty weird and you're, you gotta remember you're talking about waters that are, you know, filled with snakes, water moccasins, some cases alligators. Yeah, so it's, it's a pretty fascinating form of fishing, yeah.
50:43 Speaker 01 What's, uh, are you, do you prefer freshwater or saltwater?
50:46 Speaker 03 Uh, I like both.
50:47 Speaker 01 Are you a salmon man or a salmon trout man?
50:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, I like both. I've fished for salmon. I've fished for, you know, giant king salmon and I went, I went fishing with Henry, salmon fishing with Henry Winkler once, believe it or not.
51:01 H. Foley? No kidding, the Fonz?
51:02 Speaker 03 The Fonz and then, um, I also have fly fished. I love fly fishing. That's a whole different, kind of, it's all in the wrist. It's a whole different way of fishing. It's a great form of fishing because you're in the fish's element. You're, you're standing in their world in the water. So you feel the energy of the water. And when you hit that fish, you're really connecting. There's a real serenity to it. It's like that movie, um, that Robert Redford Brad Pitt movie.
51:32 H. Foley? A River Runs Through It.
51:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, they kind of.
51:34 H. Foley? Norman McLean.
51:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, they sort of in the beginning of that movie and at the end, they bookend it with the serenity and, and the connectivity with nature when you fly fish. It's a whole different level of, I recommend it to anyone. It's very, it's quite a beautiful experience and.
51:50 H. Foley? Great movie too, by the way.
51:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, for the most part, you, you normally do catch and release with, with a, when you're fly fishing and you use really small little hooks so that the fish have a much more, uh, higher percentage of escaping. It's a real sort of like a, no barbs. It's sort of like the gentleman's form of fishing, but it's, uh, there's a real connectivity to it.
52:12 H. Foley? See, classy guy. Classy guy. I gotta give it a try. Spider's Three Sodas. What'd you find out about the salmon trout?
52:18 Speaker 04 They're different. Same thing.
52:20 H. Foley? Restaurants aren't serving it saying it's salmon?
52:22 Speaker 04 Restaurants are serving it. Uh, salmon trout's actually more expensive.
52:25 Speaker 01 I don't think they're serving it as salmon, though. I mean, I did a quick, I could be wrong, I'm sure some places might be. But as a whole, it's, I don't think they're bamboozling us as you, uh...
52:35 H. Foley? I don't know what the hell he's talking about.
52:36 Speaker 03 Well, there's also a speckled trout, there's saltwater trout, too. There's a speckled trout in the Gulf of Mexico called speckled trout. But there's also a freshwater speckled trout.
52:45 Speaker 04 Gulf of America.
52:47 Speaker 03 Freshwater, yeah, Gulf of America, freshwater bass and saltwater bass. So there, there is crossover, but...
52:53 H. Foley? Okay.
52:53 Speaker 03 Salmon is traditionally saltwater, but when they spawn...
52:58 H. Foley? They swim to the stream.
52:59 Speaker 03 They go into freshwater.
53:00 Speaker 01 Tributaries.
53:01 Speaker 03 By the way, what a way to mate, too. They just like slide up beside their girl, they flap around, they ejaculate, and then take off.
53:08 Speaker 01 You've never seen me do it, I guess.
53:11 Speaker 03 Humans did that, my god. Subway would be... Be immense.
53:16 Speaker 01 Luke Lobster all over the place.
53:18 H. Foley? Not to mention the lawsuits, Jesus Christ.
53:20 Speaker 01 Uh, alright, this one's from Josh, and that you're a soda, soda man, well documented. Uh, say you're on a plane, right? They give you the can, you dung a couple times, they'll come over, they'll give you the can.
53:31 H. Foley? Wait, hold on, pause that real quick, I'm sorry. When you do get a...
53:34 Speaker 01 Salmon trout.
53:37 H. Foley? I'm proving myself right on that. When you do get a soda on the plane, do you say, "Give me a glass with ice and the can"? Or do you accept just the, the cup of it?
53:46 Speaker 03 Uh, they usually ask, I don't go out of my way, so I'll just, whatever they offer up.
53:52 H. Foley? Really?
53:52 Speaker 03 I'll say, "Yeah, give me the can," or if they don't, I'll just... Cause you're trapped on a plane, so you can dung them all day long, right?
53:58 H. Foley? Very true. I always say, "Give me the, give me this can." I thought a soda man like you would say, "Give me a glass with ice and the whole can."
54:04 Speaker 03 Well, the only problem is when you're on a plan, a plane, it's precarious and it's always... So the more things of liquid around you, the more chance of a spill or an accident. So I just kinda go with the flow.
54:16 H. Foley? I want the whole can.
54:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, you can dung whenever you want, my god.
54:19 Speaker 01 Dunk them up, baby.
54:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, dung it.
54:21 Speaker 01 Uh, now, let's, okay, let's say you, you get the small little, you know, like rocks glass they give ya. There's few ice cubes in there, you're enjoying your Coke, your Sunkist, your whatever Diet Dr.
54:31 H. Foley? No Sunkist on a plane.
54:33 Speaker 01 When Harland's flying, they give it to them. They got it in the cockpit, they don't give it to the fuselage.
54:36 Speaker 03 If they fly too high, there's some Sunkist.
54:41 Speaker 01 Will you try to get the ice out of the bottom of the cup?
54:44 Speaker 03 No.
54:44 Speaker 01 And will you chew it? No.
54:46 Speaker 03 I don't trust.
54:47 Speaker 01 You're anti-ice.
54:48 Speaker 03 Well, on an airplane, I'm very, I know it's probably a bit of a phobia, but it's like, I don't trust.
54:54 Speaker 01 The ice.
54:55 H. Foley? The ice.
54:55 Speaker 03 Just like I don't, I would never drink the water in the bathroom on a plane.
54:59 Speaker 01 Of course.
55:00 Speaker 03 It's like, so I sometimes.
55:01 Speaker 01 Are people doing that?
55:02 Speaker 03 I don't know, but I always associate the ice with it.
55:05 Speaker 01 I understand.
55:05 Speaker 03 It's not normal water.
55:07 Speaker 01 It's like gray water.
55:07 Speaker 03 It probably is normal, but I've just got it in my head. It's like, I'll tolerate it in my drink, but I ain't chewing it. But it's probably perfectly fine, but I just got it in my head.
55:17 H. Foley? It is. I've seen them loading it. They're regular bags of ice.
55:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, no.
55:20 H. Foley? They're not making it on the plane.
55:21 Speaker 01 But they're not disinfecting that container every, you know, between Cleveland and Pittsburgh.
55:24 H. Foley? No, I agree.
55:26 Speaker 03 I agree. They're not making ice on the plane?
55:29 Speaker 01 The energy of the gas alone will kill you.
55:31 H. Foley? That's what I thought. I've been telling you a couple of years ago.
55:32 Speaker 03 Is that what you're telling me, sir? They're not making ice on the plane? How dare you?
55:38 H. Foley? Salmon trout. Get out of here.
55:40 Speaker 01 Goldfish shark, you idiot.
55:44 H. Foley? It's all trout. What are you talking about?
55:50 Speaker 03 Good lord.
55:51 Speaker 01 Uh, we got a goofy one.
55:52 H. Foley? What was the question?
55:53 Speaker 01 Uh, well, will you take the, will you, this was, will you start eating the ice out of the bottom of your soda cup at dinner? Or even more trashy, which I caught myself doing last week, will you pick the bits of bread off the table? Or like on the plate? Like if you're done and your plate's sitting there?
56:07 H. Foley? Uh huh.
56:07 Speaker 01 And there's a couple of crumbs of bread, like bigger crumbs of bread? Will you like? I'll put my finger on it and take it.
56:13 H. Foley? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, a hundred percent.
56:15 Speaker 01 I doubt Mr. Williams is doing that at Spago.
56:17 Speaker 03 No, no. I don't do the crumb thing.
56:21 H. Foley? In a regular, in a regular setting.
56:22 Speaker 01 You're talking to two foodies here.
56:23 Speaker 03 What am I, a chickadee for god's sake? By the way, chickadee, how egotistical are they?
56:29 Speaker 01 I'm not even sure I know what that is.
56:30 Speaker 03 It's a little bird and their call is chickadee-dee. They say their own name. Like how stuck up, I think the whippoorwill is the only other bird that's so.
56:39 Speaker 01 What's the whippoorwill?
56:40 Speaker 03 There are another bird that says they chirp, they go, whippoorwill, whippoorwill.
56:44 Speaker 01 See, I grew up with a Will Whopper. That's odd.
56:46 Speaker 03 Wow.
56:47 H. Foley? Who's Will Whopper?
56:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, what's going, what's going on in your basement? Holy god.
56:51 Speaker 01 Little freak.
56:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:53 Speaker 01 Turning into Harland over here.
56:54 Speaker 03 Wow.
56:55 H. Foley? I was gonna ask you, in a non-airplane ice setting.
56:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:58 H. Foley? All right, say you're at submarine. They make their own ice.
57:06 H. Foley? Sir, salmon trout, nine o'clock.
57:10 H. Foley? Salmon trout, ten ahead, sir.
57:16 Speaker 01 Dude, he immediately fell into that. That's the first second of submarine.
57:20 H. Foley? Have you ever played a, a, a radio man on a submarine?
57:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, I did a movie called Down Periscope.
57:25 Speaker 01 Are you fucking with him?
57:26 H. Foley? He was, right?
57:26 Speaker 01 What the fuck?
57:27 H. Foley? That's so crazy.
57:28 Speaker 01 I'm like, are you, first of all, what a specific answer.
57:32 H. Foley? That's so crazy. That, that's like in my, in my brain.
57:35 Speaker 03 I played a character named Sonar. Yeah. I was the Sonar Man in Down Periscope.
57:42 Speaker 01 And he made the same, you know, like that bird named after this noise that he makes.
57:45 H. Foley? Ah, that's so funny.
57:46 Speaker 03 You've never heard of a chickadee or a whippoorwill?
57:48 Speaker 01 I'm not a big, uh, bird man. What do they call, what's a bird? An op-optomolid? No. What's it, why are you looking at me fucking? You got the computer.
57:56 H. Foley? Aeronology.
57:57 Speaker 03 Well, they're the two birds where their, their name is their chirp. Like chickadee goes, "Chickadee, dee, dee", and whippoorwill goes, "Whippoorwill, whippoorwill."
58:07 H. Foley? Very self-absorbed.
58:08 Speaker 03 But there's no other, yeah, they're very egotistical, yeah.
58:11 H. Foley? You don't have an owl calling itself "who"?
58:13 Speaker 03 Right.
58:14 H. Foley? Ah?
58:14 Speaker 03 Unless it's a doctor owl.
58:16 Speaker 01 Couple of ornithologists. Ornithologists. Yes.
58:20 H. Foley? Thank you, Tim.
58:22 Speaker 03 But anyways, it's odd.
58:24 H. Foley? Back to the ice question.
58:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, sorry.
58:26 H. Foley? You're at the house, you're at an ice restaurant, you're at the Palm, you and Henry Winkler.
58:31 Speaker 01 We saw Henry Winkler at the Shenandoah Farmers Market.
58:34 H. Foley? At the Brentwood Market.
58:35 Speaker 01 Brentwood Market.
58:35 H. Foley? We've seen Henry Winkler.
58:37 Speaker 01 Or Hollywood.
58:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
58:38 Speaker 01 Saw him eating chicken fingers.
58:40 Speaker 03 Ooh.
58:40 Speaker 01 Actually, saw him at a diner in Austin.
58:42 H. Foley? Got a lot of friends in Bakersfield, too.
58:43 Speaker 01 Chicken fing-finger, chicken fing-finger.
58:46 H. Foley? We've seen Henry Winkler twice in the wild for some reason. We saw him once in Austin.
58:50 Speaker 01 Or Winklerologist.
58:51 H. Foley? Yeah.
58:53 Speaker 03 Wow, get the Sharpay.
58:54 H. Foley? And we saw him at the Brentwood market. Seems like a lovely gentleman.
58:57 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, he's super nice.
58:57 H. Foley? And I'm 49 years old. When I was a kid, the Fonz, forget about it.
59:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
59:02 H. Foley? I mean, he was everything to me.
59:04 Speaker 03 That's right.
59:04 H. Foley? Um, so let's say you're over at Henry Winkler's house and you're having a soda. Or anywhere non-airplane ice where you have a phobia about it. Are you the kind of guy that will take a sip and if a piece of, if an ice cube gets in your mouth, will you spit it back into the cup? Are you okay with that?
59:22 Speaker 01 You might run a tight ship.
59:23 H. Foley? You get what I'm saying?
59:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
59:24 Speaker 03 I might. I mean, that's something I probably would have never, have never really thought about.
59:29 H. Foley? Really? Welcome to the show.
59:31 Speaker 03 Yeah. I, I don't, I don't traditionally like eat the ice out of a cup or when, when I'm done, I just let the ice melt.
59:38 H. Foley? That's it.
59:38 Speaker 01 I can't help myself.
59:39 Speaker 03 Return to its original form.
59:40 Speaker 01 I do it in first class and the people across the aisle.
59:43 H. Foley? Ice chewing's real trash.
59:44 Speaker 03 I had a buddy I'd go to movies with and he'd chew the ice through the movie and I just like wanted to put him through the wall. Yeah. Sounds like someone digging up ribs at Forest Lawn graveyard in the middle of the night.
59:57 Speaker 01 That's not right. That's a deep cut.
59:59 Speaker 03 Idiot.
1:00:00 Speaker 01 Uh, all right. Let's see here. Um, this one's from, uh, Great Griffin. Uh, are you garbage if you use green spray paint on your lawn to cover up your dog's pee stains?
1:00:12 H. Foley? Come on.
1:00:13 Speaker 01 That's pretty classy, I feel. I don't think it's classy. I think you're, you're concerned about the, the looks of it and that's probably the quickest fix to it.
1:00:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's practical.
1:00:22 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:00:22 Speaker 03 Yeah. So if you're just looking for a quick cosmetic fix, why not? I mean, I know bald guys that'll spray the back of their head.
1:00:29 Speaker 01 I don't know why you looked at me during that.
1:00:32 H. Foley? After their dogs piss on them. You got grass out at the house?
1:00:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:37 H. Foley? You got a front yard with grass?
1:00:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:39 H. Foley? Nice?
1:00:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, real nice.
1:00:41 Speaker 01 You got ice at the house?
1:00:42 Speaker 03 I got ice, yeah.
1:00:43 Speaker 01 You got an ice maker? You living on a plane?
1:00:44 H. Foley? Do you have an actual ice maker? I assume you do.
1:00:46 Speaker 03 I actually have a Cybertruck. You hit the horn and crushed ice comes out. Yeah.
1:00:51 Speaker 01 I didn't know they had that feature.
1:00:52 Speaker 03 Yeah. Stainless steel fridges on wheels.
1:00:57 Speaker 01 If they're market mods.
1:00:58 Speaker 03 I vandalized a Cybertruck the other day. I threw fridge magnets on it. Put a shh.
1:01:04 Speaker 01 Put a shopping list under the windshield wiper.
1:01:08 H. Foley? That's alright, that's a good piece of business, right?
1:01:12 Speaker 01 We gotta wrap it up, unfortunately, yeah.
1:01:14 H. Foley? Man, guys, one of our absolute favorites.
1:01:16 Speaker 01 Wacky.
1:01:17 H. Foley? Mr. Harland Williams. Still classy, baby.
1:01:20 Speaker 03 Thank you, guys.
1:01:21 H. Foley? You're class all the way.
1:01:22 Speaker 01 Oh, wow. crazier than ever.
1:01:23 H. Foley? This is gonna come right out. Anything you want the folks to know? You got anything coming up?
1:01:27 Speaker 03 Uh, yes, I got, uh, when's it coming out?
1:01:31 H. Foley? Comes out on, um, two days.
1:01:33 Speaker 03 Okay, so if you're in the Toronto area, on, uh, May 9th, we're doing a sneak screening of my brand-new movie that I wrote and directed called Wingman.
1:01:43 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:01:44 Speaker 03 And you can come to this, uh, sneak screening if you go to my website, harlandwilliams.com, and get tickets. It's gonna be the first time the movie's seen anywhere.
1:01:53 H. Foley? That's awesome. We didn't know about this.
1:01:54 Speaker 03 Yes, thank you. And then, uh, Jamie Kennedy's in it, Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace.
1:01:59 H. Foley? Very nice.
1:02:00 Speaker 03 From, uh, Landman, and, and then, uh, my podcast, The Harland Highway Podcast, every Tuesday. And you guys are in, uh, LA, you gotta come be on it.
1:02:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, we'll be out there, maybe, making a run, yeah.
1:02:11 Speaker 03 Oh, good, I'd love to have you, yeah.
1:02:13 H. Foley? Is that, are you just doing a screening of the movie? Is this just like, uh, just, is it going in theaters?
1:02:18 Speaker 03 Uh, well, we're just, we just finished it, so we're gonna go out and sell it, but we wanted to do a sneak screening, just to, you know, let people have a, yeah.
1:02:26 H. Foley? I love that. Wingman.
1:02:27 Speaker 03 Wingman, it's about a, uh, a demented wingman that helps, uh, dudes, uh, find and meet girls, so.
1:02:34 H. Foley? It's always working. One of the best. Harland Williams, everybody. We love you, buddy. Thank you so much for coming in. Kippy, what do you got for him?
1:02:41 Speaker 01 Uh, guys, we're announcing our fall tour dates very soon. Check them out. Check out the Route 66 special on the YouTube page, if you have not, and, uh, the decks of cards, the AYG card game, uh, brand-new 2005 edition on our website, reagobage.com. Check it out.
1:02:54 H. Foley? Harland, we love you, gang.
1:02:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, man, thank you.
1:02:56 H. Foley? We love you. We'll see you next week.
1:02:57 Speaker 01 Chickadee, dee, dee, dee.
1:02:59 H. Foley? Peace.
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