Pod Insights What Now? with Trevor Noah If You Ruled the World: A Listener Grab Bag About this episode On Thanksgiving week, we give thanks to our listeners with a bonus episode where Trevor, Christiana, and Josh weigh in on your suggestions for their favorite game, If I Ruled the World. Suffice it to say the trio doesn’t hold back. Enjoy, thank you for being a listener, and Happy Thanksgiving!!
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Trevor Noah? Verizon knows that holiday decisions and holiday deals can be complicated. Every year, I tell myself I'm gonna keep the holidays simple. And then the invitations start. They start coming in. Should I go to the party? Should I stay at home? If I go, do I bring a gift? If I bring a gift, does everyone get a gift? And why does someone have an organized secret Santa where the spending limit is fifty dollars, but the minimum is seventy-five? How does that even make sense? It's not a gift exchange, that's a financial audit. And then there's the food. Do I cook? Do I order? Do I pretend I cooked? Because I mean, I feel like if you transfer something into your own serving dish, legally, you've participated in the preparation, alright? Well, if you want a holiday decision that's not complicated, switching to Simplicity Plan from Verizon is the one for you.
0:42 Trevor Noah? One plan, one price, just thirty dollars a line per month for you or the whole family. The holidays are complicated. Switching to Verizon and shopping their best deals is simple. For new customers, thirty dollars a line includes auto pay and switch discount. Unlimited data is restricted to on-device smartphone usage. Domestic data roaming at 2G speeds. Additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. This segment is brought to you by Google Pixel. You know what's really frustrating? Knowing the exact information you need is somewhere on your phone, but still ending up wasting your time digging through five different apps just to actually find it.
1:25 Trevor Noah? Thankfully, Google Pixel 11 is designed with Gemini intelligence, so it can proactively find the information I need right when I need it. Like my flight info and travel days, or my calendar, when Eugene texts me to hang out. Oh, sorry Eugene, I'm booked. Learn more about what Google Pixel 11 can do at googlestore.com. These AI features are available in select countries and languages for users eighteen and over, and make sure to check responses. Yeah, booked forever, forever.
1:59 Trevor Noah? You're listening to What Now with Trevor Noah. So it's Thanksgiving week here in the United States. And guess what? We have a little bonus episode just for you. Perfect to help spark a conversation at your Thanksgiving table. Yeah, and hopefully, hopefully, a conversation that won't lead to someone storming out of the room. If you've been listening to the show for a while, you know that one of our favorite games is If I Ruled the World. And you probably know how it works. Everyone comes up with one suggestion. If you were in charge of the world, you could do anything, anything you want. What would it be? What would you change? You make your case and then everyone votes on it.
2:44 Trevor Noah? And if you get enough votes, that change would happen in your hypothetical world. Well, today, it's If I Ruled the World Listener Edition. We got a bunch of suggestions for ideas from you, the What Now listeners, and Christiana Mbakwe-Madina, Josh Johnson, and I. Well, we run through them and we decide if we would in fact want to live in your world. It's a fun one, so let's get into it.
3:12 Trevor Noah? This is What Now with Trevor Noah.
3:24 Trevor Noah? So before we get into today's If I Ruled the World chat, since it's Thanksgiving week, I've been thinking a lot about the kinds of conversations we have when we gather with friends and loved ones around the table. And a lot of people ask me this question. They'll say, "Oh, Trevor, what do you do with your family? Like, how do you keep it light?" And, look, I don't have a perfect answer for this, but I noticed there was a distinct difference in how some people started having their Thanksgiving conversations, especially over the past decade, let's say, and how we would gather with family members back in the day in South Africa. And the biggest one was, we started all our conversations speaking about... Things that we all experienced, just taking people down memory lane,
4:08 Trevor Noah? you know, connecting around like crazy stories like, you know, grandparents would talk about the grandkids and how much they'd grown and like embarrassing stories from their lives and, you know, and then the parents would talk about their first time having a Christmas dinner, because obviously we didn't have Thanksgiving in South Africa, but we had family gatherings and family dinners where everyone came together at a certain time of year. And what I noticed is if you start conversations with the fond memories that connect people, you spend less time in the politics of now that divides people. And it doesn't mean you can't talk about politics, I'm not saying that, but just remember what you're trying to do. You're trying to connect with other human beings around a
4:50 Trevor Noah? table, sharing a meal. Doesn't matter what the holiday is, that's fundamentally the purpose. And so if that's the purpose, think about the best way to go about that. It's finding a way to connect with another human being's heart, and a lot of the times, our memories are where our heart lives. So, I don't know, try it, you know, ask your parents about a funny story from when you were young, that maybe you've forgotten about. Tell them to share something embarrassing about you that maybe you didn't know about, you know, and then you can tell them a story from your childhood, something that you got away with, that you always hoped they would never find out. And I don't know, let's connect and
5:32 Trevor Noah? see if we can make this one a little less about politics and a little bit more about the human beings connecting around this time of year. And maybe this will give you some inspiration. Play a round of If I Rule the World with your friends and family, and see if things stay a little more fun and insightful, right? And remember to think big, think about crazy, think just completely out of the box. In fact, if you want inspiration, take a listen to me, Christiana, and Josh, right after this short break.
6:06 Trevor Noah? Some of the most interesting things you learn happen while you're doing something completely ordinary. Maybe you're cooking dinner while watching a history video. Maybe you're on a flight catching up on a long-form interview. Or maybe you're trying to figure out how to fix something in your house because apparently owning a screwdriver means you're an electrician now. But you see, that's one of the things I love about YouTube Premium. I travel a lot, so I download videos before a flight. That way, I'm not leaving my entertainment in the hands of airplane Wi-Fi. Yeah, I've made that mistake before. You think you're gonna watch something in 4K and suddenly everyone's face is pixels. But one of my favorite features is smart downloads. You see, YouTube Premium can automatically download recommended videos for you
6:51 Trevor Noah? based on what you already watch. So sometimes I'll get on a plane, I look at my phone, I'm like, ah, I didn't download anything. Then it's like, no, YouTube already thought about this. They packed entertainment for me in my little lunchbox. And with background play, I can lock my phone, switch apps, and whatever I'm watching just keeps on going. So if you like YouTube, you will love YouTube Premium. Sign up now for your free trial at youtube.com/premium. Terms apply. Cancel anytime.
7:28 Trevor Noah? Well, look at that. We're in the real world now. Here are a few that came in. I'm gonna read them to you. I mean, we're still judges.
7:37 Speaker 01 Reading and reacting.
7:39 Trevor Noah? I will read them to you and then we'll vote on them.
7:41 Speaker 01 Okay.
7:41 Trevor Noah? Okay. First suggestion, if I ruled the world, all airplanes would board from back to front and we'd remove all Wi-Fi from planes.
7:52 Speaker 01 No.
7:53 Speaker 02 I mean, they had me with the first sentence. I don't know why they would ruin it with the second one.
7:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:58 Trevor Noah? What, you want the Wi-Fi?
8:00 Speaker 01 I disagree with both.
8:04 Speaker 01 I just started flying business class, so now you guys wanna take it away from me.
8:10 Trevor Noah? It's just wifi, though.
8:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, but if you're in the business class and you board later, that's more time to be in the lounge, potentially. If you really think about this as like a real champagne capitalist, right?
8:22 Speaker 01 Okay.
8:22 Speaker 02 Let all the pores get on first, right?
8:25 Speaker 01 Then what's the point of the capitalism if you're not treated better?
8:27 Trevor Noah? No, no, Josh is saying you are treated better because you get to in a lounge for longer.
8:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:31 Speaker 01 No, but then you lose the overhead space.
8:33 Trevor Noah? No, you don't because they save it for business class. They're supposed to save it.
8:36 Speaker 02 The only people who lose it are the people in the middle. They're screwed no matter who boards.
8:41 Speaker 01 And they paid more for their ticket, by the way.
8:42 Speaker 02 It's crazy.
8:43 Trevor Noah? They did, actually.
8:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:45 Trevor Noah? So you're a no.
8:46 Speaker 01 Absolutely not. And I want wifi on a plane.
8:49 Trevor Noah? You like wifi on a plane?
8:50 Speaker 01 Yes, I'm on TikTok, I'm on Instagram, I'm scrolling, I'm in the family WhatsApp group.
8:55 Trevor Noah? Cristiano, we need to discuss your habitual connectedness.
8:59 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, I'm heavily online.
9:00 Trevor Noah? Do you know that's the one time where I'm gone? Gone, gone, gone in ways that you cannot even imagine.
9:04 Speaker 01 Why?
9:04 Trevor Noah? No, when I'm on a plane, I'm like, guys, there is nothing that needs me on a plane. I'm gone. I have like that old vibe to it where I'm just like, ah, he's on a plane. You know who I'm like? Remember Justine Sacco?
9:15 Speaker 01 Oh, yes, text about the AIDS.
9:16 Trevor Noah? Yeah, the girl who made the joke, the woman who made the joke was like, going to Africa, hope I don't get AIDS, lol, just joking, I'm white. And then landed in Africa and her family was like, you need to go back to America. And the whole world was like, you're fired and we hate you.
9:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:29 Trevor Noah? I live that kind of life. I don't want to know anything that's happening on the ground because I'm on a plane. Even if like an asteroid hit, it's none of my business.
9:39 Speaker 02 Hmm.
9:39 Trevor Noah? I'm on a plane.
9:41 Speaker 02 It's nice to be unreachable.
9:43 Trevor Noah? Yes.
9:43 Speaker 02 So I agree with that. And that's why I would say, even though I'm not fully in favor of the wifi thing, there are certain movies that I don't even try to watch unless I'm on a plane. There's, there's gotta watch it right away, wait till it comes out on streaming, plane.
9:59 Trevor Noah? Yes.
10:00 Speaker 02 And so I think if I had wifi on the plane, I wouldn't.
10:03 Trevor Noah? You wouldn't watch them?
10:04 Speaker 02 I wouldn't watch them.
10:04 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
10:05 Speaker 02 So I'll go fully yes with this.
10:07 Trevor Noah? No wifi, but then Cristiano voted no on it.
10:10 Speaker 01 No on both proposals.
10:11 Trevor Noah? And board from back to front, you and Josh?
10:13 Speaker 02 You have to board from back to front because the chaos that happens that the way that we do it now.
10:19 Trevor Noah? Yes.
10:20 Speaker 02 We're we're late every time. They have to make up time in the air on the last like five flights I've been on because we get to the back. And they said that it was full, but then everybody's like, I'll risk it. And they're sitting in all these different areas. And so now people have to go to the back because that's the only place in any space. But then people who finally get to the back who were boarding last because they're group Z, they're the ones that are like, but this should have been my space. Now there's an argument. You gotta board back to front.
10:48 Trevor Noah? So I I I've seen somebody um deal with this. I guess they were like a, I don't know what level of math you have to be doing. But apparently the best way is not back to front and it's not front to back. Because if you do back to front, there's also going to be issues apparently. So your problem would come in when you're actually boarding because now Josh is seat thirty, I'm twenty nine, you're twenty eight. But if I get on the plane and then Christiana doesn't, you're still gonna have people blocking each other. Yeah, so you'd have to line people up outside by their seat, by their row, and then you don't have enough space in the airport to do that. So that's why it fails. The real way you're supposed to do it is actually it's supposed to be like alternating seats and alternating sides is how the plane is supposed to board. From like just like left, left, right, right, but like flip one, skip one.
11:33 Trevor Noah? It's very complicated. It's not gonna happen. So whoever sent that in, thank you very much for listening to the podcast.
11:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, thank you, yeah.
11:39 Trevor Noah? Uh, here's a few more. Uh, all bosses are selected by employee vote.
11:46 Speaker 01 No.
11:47 Speaker 02 Oh, that's that's the beautiful way to lose a company. That's.
11:51 Speaker 01 Democracy is bad.
11:53 Speaker 02 Like you can't, if you, because this is the thing, I'm a pretty likable guy. It doesn't mean I'm effective.
12:00 Trevor Noah? Touche, my friend.
12:01 Speaker 02 So it's like everyone might vote for me to be their boss. They know I won't say no to PTO. So now because I never say no to PTO, I'm the only one at work. And then the company is losing hella money. We're hemorrhaging.
12:13 Speaker 01 Yeah. What people should vote on is salaries.
12:16 Trevor Noah? What do you mean?
12:17 Speaker 01 I think there should be radical salary transparency. Like, you know what everyone makes.
12:21 Trevor Noah? Yes.
12:21 Speaker 02 That's wild, yeah.
12:23 Speaker 01 And then, like, every year, you know when it's like promotions and raises, da-da-da-da?
12:26 Trevor Noah? We vote on other people's salaries.
12:27 Speaker 01 Yes, oh.
12:28 Trevor Noah? Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
12:30 Speaker 01 But mind you, people, do you know what it means? People will treat each other so well in that office.
12:35 Trevor Noah? Wow, or, or we will have.
12:38 Speaker 02 Class warfare, gang it up.
12:39 Trevor Noah? Or we will have many, many true crime documentaries where, like, the cause was.
12:44 Speaker 01 Including the CEO, you know, like, the CEO's salary is a sign, the board approves it. I'm saying, if we're gonna be voting on anything, it shouldn't be who's the boss, it's like how much money they make.
12:53 Trevor Noah? You're literally creating murders.
12:54 Speaker 02 Class warfare.
12:55 Trevor Noah? You are literally, when I find out that Josh voted against my salary bump.
13:00 Speaker 01 Why would he, unless he shed his, his vote?
13:02 Trevor Noah? I, let me tell you something, people are getting killed. You have created an office of murderers. I'm gonna vote no as well, cuz I just think it's ridiculous.
13:10 Speaker 02 Oh, I'm voting yes, but I know I'm a loser.
13:12 Trevor Noah? You're voting yes?
13:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, class warfare, baby.
13:15 Trevor Noah? Man, whoever you are, you brought out Josh the Joker, the worst version of Josh. This is the Josh that, like, if he falls into a vat of acid, we're all screwed. The only thing holding Josh back from this character is that he's still, like, a functioning member of society. So, uh, that's two, two noes and a yes?
13:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:32 Trevor Noah? All right, it's a no. Uh, but thank you for listening to the podcast. Next person says, if I ruled the world, I would ban single ply toilet paper.
13:40 Speaker 02 Yes, because it's, it's a lot like a, a government program where they don't really help you. I would rather have no toilet paper in there than toilet paper I can see through when I look at it within my hand.
13:53 Trevor Noah? You've clearly only grown up in a first world country. Do you guys know there's stuff before toilet paper?
13:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, like.
13:59 Trevor Noah? Yes, I wiped my ass with newspaper for, like, years of my life.
14:03 Speaker 02 Newspaper's thicker.
14:05 Speaker 02 Then one ply?
14:06 Trevor Noah? Have you ever met the corner of a newspaper that you folded?
14:10 Speaker 02 Newspaper, it no.
14:11 Trevor Noah? There's no edges on toilet paper.
14:12 Speaker 02 It's sharp, but.
14:14 Trevor Noah? Yes, it's sharp in your butt, exactly.
14:16 Speaker 02 It's thicker.
14:17 Trevor Noah? Sharp in your butt, exactly.
14:19 Speaker 02 The, the.
14:19 Trevor Noah? This is a very first world opinion. You would rather have no toilet paper?
14:23 Speaker 02 One ply is your hand.
14:25 Trevor Noah? No, I've used my hand. I've used my hand. Have you used your hand?
14:29 Speaker 02 I've used my hand while I use one ply.
14:31 Trevor Noah? First of all, why do people act like you can't fold the toilet paper? What, what crazy world are we living in?
14:35 Speaker 01 One ply is also rougher. The texture of it's rougher.
14:38 Speaker 02 When you try to wrap one ply, you can't make two ply. One plus one still equals one.
14:43 Trevor Noah? Let me explain something here. One ply is like flying coach at the back of a plane. It is the least good way to do something, but you are still flying in a plane. Everything else is walking or being on like a ship.
14:58 Speaker 02 The way that my fingers have broken through one ply.
15:00 Trevor Noah? Have you wiped your ass before without toilet paper?
15:03 Speaker 02 I've had to.
15:04 Trevor Noah? Intentionally?
15:05 Speaker 02 No, not intentionally. I've had to. Yes, I have had to use.
15:10 Trevor Noah? Intentionally. I have, Josh. I have. Let me tell you something. Don't ever wish toilet paper out of your life.
15:17 Speaker 02 I'm not saying I wish all the toilet paper out of my life. I'm just saying that one ply is so bad.
15:23 Trevor Noah? Yeah, you'd ban it, but then now there's now we have no ply. Okay, I'm ready to vote. Mine is no. Christiana?
15:29 Speaker 01 Um, no, but because I think it's good for the planet. I don't know how trees work, but it's less paper, so.
15:35 Trevor Noah? All right, Josh?
15:36 Speaker 02 Yes, because it's barely real toilet paper.
15:39 Trevor Noah? All right, well, that's still two no's and one yes. Your If I Ruled the World was voted down. But thank you very much for listening to the podcast. We really appreciate you. Thank you so much. We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break. Some of the most interesting things you learn happen while you're doing something completely ordinary. Maybe you're cooking dinner while watching a history video. Maybe you're on a flight catching up on a long form interview. Or maybe you're trying to figure out how to fix something in your house because apparently owning a screwdriver means you're an electrician now.
16:13 Trevor Noah? But you see, that's one of the things I love about YouTube Premium. I travel a lot, so I download videos before a flight. That way, I'm not leaving my entertainment in the hands of airplane wifi. Yeah, I've made that mistake before. You think you're gonna watch something in 4K and suddenly everyone's face is pixels. But one of my favorite features is smart downloads. You see, YouTube Premium can automatically download recommended videos for you based on what you already watch. So sometimes I'll get on a plane, I look at my phone, I'm like, ah, I didn't download anything. And it's like, no, YouTube already thought about this. They packed entertainment for me in my little lunchbox. And with background play, I can lock my phone, switch apps, and whatever I'm watching just keeps on going.
16:57 Trevor Noah? So if you like YouTube, you will love YouTube Premium. Sign up now for your free trial at youtube.com/premium. Terms apply. Cancel anytime.
17:15 Trevor Noah? All right, here's another one. If I ruled the world, high schools would start no earlier than 9:00 AM.
17:22 Speaker 01 That's brilliant.
17:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's fine.
17:24 Speaker 01 Brilliant. Teenagers need sleep.
17:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:26 Speaker 01 It's cruel.
17:27 Speaker 02 That's like, that's like part of the problem, actually. There would be more kids in extracurriculars if some of them weren't at like 7:00 AM.
17:34 Trevor Noah? Extracurriculars?
17:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, so like some, some of the clubs, like for instance, I did Quiz Bowl when I was in high school.
17:40 Trevor Noah? You did what?
17:41 Speaker 02 It's like trivia for high sc- I was a virgin, so.
17:45 Trevor Noah? You did what? What is it? I just wanna know what this is.
17:47 Speaker 02 Quiz Bowl is like, um, okay, it's like Imagine Jeopardy, but for everybody. And you go up against other schools.
17:57 Trevor Noah? Okay.
17:58 Speaker 02 And you do Jeopardy pretty much, but it's not like the structure of picking off the board. It's like, I'mma ask you one of the most random questions you've ever heard.
18:08 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
18:09 Speaker 02 You might know the answer, you might not, but your school gets points if you do.
18:13 Trevor Noah? Could you be like, yo? Uh, there's a girl, um, Tinashe at our school and she has what on her backpack? Can you ask a question like that?
18:21 Speaker 02 It's all Jeopardy type thing.
18:24 Trevor Noah? Okay, so it's more general knowledge.
18:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, but it's more specific than general knowledge, which is also.
18:29 Trevor Noah? And you did this at what time?
18:31 Speaker 02 Um, it would be, maybe I went there at seven? Who designs your schools?
18:37 Speaker 01 But school starts at like eight, eight thirty.
18:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:41 Trevor Noah? So it's like, yeah, no, no, I understand that. We also had it at eight.
18:43 Speaker 01 So if you're gonna do extracurricular, that's before school.
18:47 Trevor Noah? Why, where, why would you guys have extracurriculars before school?
18:50 Speaker 02 Because you want to do the ones after.
18:53 Trevor Noah? Because it was extra.
18:54 Speaker 01 Yes.
18:54 Trevor Noah? You cannot do extra before.
18:56 Speaker 01 Apparently you can.
18:57 Trevor Noah? Imagine going to a restaurant and you're like, could I get an extra side of rice? And they're like, we haven't even served you yet. What are you adding the extra to? The whole point of extracurricular is that you have your curricula, then this is extra.
19:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:09 Trevor Noah? You can't start with it. We, we're fixing the wrong problem here.
19:11 Speaker 02 In your scenario, you would just say, welcome to America, cuz that is what we do.
19:16 Trevor Noah? But you seem to know that, is it, what's it like in the UK?
19:18 Speaker 01 No, in the UK, we have like a little bit of socialism, so it's just like.
19:22 Trevor Noah? You hang out in the beginning?
19:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, you know, so.
19:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:25 Speaker 01 There was nothing.
19:26 Trevor Noah? I don't know, I, this is a weird one for me, um.
19:29 Speaker 02 It's also the only way you can.
19:30 Speaker 01 I'd actually say start school at ten and finish at three. That would be my proposal.
19:35 Trevor Noah? Start school at ten?
19:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:36 Trevor Noah? Finish at three?
19:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, that'd be my proposal.
19:38 Trevor Noah? Okay. I don't know, so I have a, I have a different proposal. I think you should start earlier, but do nothing for longer.
19:45 Speaker 01 No, but they have to get out of bed. That's the issue. They need to sleep cuz they need to grow.
19:50 Trevor Noah? How much sleep?
19:50 Speaker 02 They need ridiculous amount of sleep.
19:51 Speaker 01 Twelve to fourteen hours.
19:53 Trevor Noah? Twelve to fourteen hours?
19:54 Speaker 01 Teenagers, your brains, your bones, or like, they need so much sleep.
19:58 Speaker 02 They've done studies where they're like.
19:59 Speaker 01 So much sleep.
20:00 Speaker 02 That's why we think they're dumb. Cuz they don't sleep enough and then we try to teach them. And then, at least, I'm just talking about in the States, we try to teach them and they're tired. Then we give them a test and then they fail and then we're like, okay. Moving on to the next more difficult subject.
20:16 Speaker 01 And they have to go home and study.
20:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:18 Speaker 01 Till late, do their extra, extracurriculars.
20:21 Trevor Noah? Okay, I'll, I'll vote, then I'll vote yes.
20:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:24 Trevor Noah? This seems well considered.
20:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a good idea.
20:26 Speaker 02 Yes, yes.
20:26 Trevor Noah? Whoever you are, uh, congratulations, you have achieved the first yes. If you ruled the world, high schools would start no earlier than nine AM. This person had an opportunity to rule the world and they just moved it by like an hour. I mean, that's responsible use of power, but not very creative. But thank you for listening to the podcast. Um, the next suggestion we got was if I ruled the world, everyone, no matter their job, has to shadow a service employee one day a month. What is a service employee?
20:56 Speaker 01 A waiter.
20:57 Trevor Noah? Okay, okay, I was making sure.
20:59 Speaker 01 No.
21:00 Trevor Noah? Um.
21:01 Speaker 01 That's a no for me.
21:02 Trevor Noah? What do we, what do we define by shadow?
21:05 Speaker 02 I think shadow means like do the job as well.
21:08 Speaker 01 I thought shadow meant just watching someone do the job.
21:10 Trevor Noah? Yeah, my shadows never helped me do anything.
21:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're just like, oh, I wanna, haven't you had that as a comedian? Oh, I wanna shadow you for a day.
21:17 Trevor Noah? Comedians don't shadow anybody.
21:18 Speaker 02 But, but the way that I shadowed when I, when I was working at like a regular job
21:23 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
21:23 Speaker 02 was to do a mini version of the job.
21:26 Trevor Noah? Oh, Josh, I think you got tricked into free labor.
21:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, that was, yeah.
21:30 Trevor Noah? I don't think that's shadowing.
21:31 Speaker 02 So maybe we should vote.
21:33 Trevor Noah? Yeah, I really think that's unpaid work, Josh.
21:34 Speaker 02 Maybe we should vote then.
21:36 Trevor Noah? I think what, I think shadowing is literally, you just like see how the person does it.
21:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:42 Trevor Noah? But what is the purpose of this? I don't get it.
21:44 Speaker 01 Cause I think they want us to gain empathy for like service workers. But if anything, watching someone do their job up close, you always have less empathy.
21:52 Trevor Noah? Yeah, you're like, that looks easy.
21:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's just like, oh, you're gonna be like, do that better.
21:56 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
21:56 Speaker 02 That's why I gained a respect, cause then they would hand it to me.
21:59 Trevor Noah? And then you would see how hard it is.
22:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, so I thought shadow meant.
22:02 Speaker 01 No.
22:03 Speaker 02 Cause you know how your shadow is attached to you? Like, I thought that you had to be doing some of the.
22:09 Speaker 01 But your shadow doesn't do anything, though. It's attached, but it doesn't do anything.
22:11 Speaker 02 No, I see that now.
22:12 Speaker 01 Okay.
22:12 Speaker 02 I see, I see, I see.
22:15 Speaker 02 I see what probably happened to me.
22:17 Trevor Noah? I'm ready to vote on this one, then. I, I say no.
22:19 Speaker 01 No.
22:21 Speaker 02 Nah.
22:22 Trevor Noah? Is there no for you, Josh?
22:23 Speaker 02 Nah, I, I guess not. Now, knowing what the understood shadow is, I'd say no.
22:29 Trevor Noah? So no.
22:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, I thought shadow.
22:31 Trevor Noah? Thank you so much for submitting, uh, but you will be the only person shadowing somebody at their job. But thank you for listening. All right, our final, um, idea from people who listen to the show. If I ruled the world, all toilet stalls should be completely soundproof. We don't need to hear what's going on in there. Okay, this one, I'm already gonna tell you is a no for me. That's like the joy of going to a public toilet.
22:55 Speaker 01 You like to listen?
22:56 Trevor Noah? No, I don't like to listen, but that's the joy of it. It's like a horror movie. I don't like horror movies. But if I took out the scary parts, then it wouldn't be a horror movie. A public toilet without the sounds is not a public toilet.
23:09 Speaker 01 It's still public.
23:10 Trevor Noah? Guys, it would be creepy. It would be creepy. Imagine going into a public toilet and it's silent.
23:15 Speaker 01 I want that.
23:16 Trevor Noah? No, this is creepy.
23:17 Speaker 02 I, here's the thing. I'm gonna vote no with you, but for very different reasons. Like, I, I feel like I don't love the sounds and I'd rather not hear.
23:25 Trevor Noah? Okay, so what's your number? You're misunderstanding me. No one loves the sounds.
23:29 Speaker 01 Okay.
23:29 Trevor Noah? But the sounds are part of the experience.
23:32 Speaker 01 I don't want, I don't even wanna hear the toilet flush.
23:35 Speaker 02 I mean, I wish I wasn't in there when I'm in there.
23:37 Trevor Noah? You weren't in there. That's the point. That's the point.
23:40 Speaker 02 But, but the, but the sound, I would say, needs to be left up to the environment. Because I went to the bathroom and there was a guy who fell, right? And we know he fell because he was like, ah, ah, I fell, right?
23:57 Trevor Noah? Inside one of the?
23:58 Speaker 02 In the stall.
23:58 Trevor Noah? Okay.
23:59 Speaker 02 And if it had been soundproof, who knows?
24:02 Trevor Noah? No one would have helped him.
24:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:04 Trevor Noah? You could die in there.
24:07 Trevor Noah? Okay, have you ever used a public toilet and needed toilet paper? And asked somebody to bring it to you? I've done that once. Once in my life that happened to me. It was back in South Africa, but that happened once. And I was like, ah, man, there's no toilet paper. And then I had to shout out, hey, I need toilet paper. And then someone handed it to me.
24:22 Speaker 01 Over the stool?
24:22 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
24:23 Speaker 02 No, no, I got mine rolled to me.
24:26 Trevor Noah? They rolled it on the floor?
24:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:27 Trevor Noah? So you wiped your ass with the floor?
24:30 Speaker 02 No, it has more. It's unrolling as it rolls. It, it travels the way that it exists.
24:35 Trevor Noah? So you left the part of it that had?
24:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, so basically, I was in a, a bathroom in a restaurant that was out of toilet paper. And I had to wait until somebody came in.
24:50 Speaker 02 And so then I was like, hey, like, I need help. And the person was like, okay, I got you, right? And then they left and they never came back. They didn't have me.
24:59 Trevor Noah? Wow.
24:59 Speaker 02 And then someone else eventually came in. I was like, hey, I need some help. I need toilet paper. And they were like, oh, I got you. Okay. And then they left and I was worried they wouldn't come back. But when they came back, they had the big old roll.
25:11 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
25:11 Speaker 02 That big roll that you install in the thing.
25:14 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:14 Speaker 02 And he bowled it under to me. And it was a, it was a real hero move.
25:19 Trevor Noah? I like this.
25:20 Speaker 01 All right, I will say.
25:21 Trevor Noah? Did you get to meet the person afterwards? You remember back in the day on that TV show Rescue 911, you'd get to meet the operator who saved your life?
25:27 Speaker 02 So.
25:27 Trevor Noah? Did you get to meet the person? Did you like hug them and take a picture afterwards?
25:31 Speaker 02 No, because I started thanking him and then he left.
25:35 Speaker 02 Cause he knew I was wiping while I was thanking him and I think that was too much for him.
25:39 Trevor Noah? All right, so we're ready to vote. All toilet stalls should be completely soundproof. Mine is a definite no.
25:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, I've changed, I'm changing to a no only because in ladies toilet, I don't know if you know this about women, but when I used to club 10 years ago before my life was over and I had kids, you just, you hear so much gossip.
25:56 Trevor Noah? You see, it's part of the experience.
25:59 Speaker 01 Gossip, also known as oral history, you know, so like, I like,
26:04 Speaker 01 when you're on the toilet, you just hear people talking shit and you don't even know the characters.
26:07 Trevor Noah? Exactly.
26:08 Speaker 01 But like, all of that, it helps the camaraderie. That would be the only reason.
26:11 Trevor Noah? This is yet another thing that'll make people feel isolated. It will make you feel alone. Do you know how nice it is to sit in a stall, go through something physically and know someone next to you is going through the same?
26:22 Speaker 01 Well, I like the person that coughs because they're about to drop a load. That always makes me laugh.
26:26 Trevor Noah? This is what I mean. This is, now you're understanding what I mean. You were so against me in the beginning and now you get it. The sounds make this what it is. I vote no. No, toilet stalls should not be completely soundproof.
26:36 Speaker 02 Uh, no.
26:37 Speaker 01 No.
26:38 Trevor Noah? Well, there you go. That is a flat out no. We'll be hearing you take a dump, whoever you are. But thank you so much for listening to the podcast. So the only thing that got passed from the public, high schools will start no earlier than 9 a.m. So we'll see you at 9:01.
26:52 Speaker 01 Our listeners are really concerned with toilets and toilet paper. Like, what is going on in the bowels of like?
26:59 Speaker 02 It's actually why it's so hard to change the world. Look at all those proposals.
27:02 Trevor Noah? It really is.
27:03 Speaker 02 Only one thing.
27:04 Trevor Noah? That people don't think big enough. Well, there it is. If I Ruled the World Listener Edition. Thank you, every single one of you, for your wonderful suggestions, even though we shut down almost all of them. But I mean, that's the nature of the game, right? And guess what? We want to hear much more from you. So we have a What Now email address. It's [email protected] . [email protected] . Get in touch with any comments about the show, suggestions for future topics, or guests, and more of your If I Ruled the World ideas. I promise we won't shoot them all down, by the way. So, you know, send us a few. Let's see what happens. Tell us your name and where you're writing from. And better yet, record it as a voice memo
27:49 Trevor Noah? and send it along so we can play it on the show. Once again, that's [email protected] to reach the show. We'll be back next week with a full new episode. In the meantime, from everyone on the show, we wish you a happy Thanksgiving. May all your plane boardings be smooth and all your toilet paper be two ply.
28:12 Trevor Noah? What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, and Jodi Avigan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackle. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music, mixing, and mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now.
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