We Bring Down the King

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Bobby Lee?

  Hey everyone from Texas, Houston specifically. I need you to buy tickets for my show on, what is it, March 28th and 29th of this year. Go to Houstonimprov.com, buy the tickets, or I'm gonna hurt myself, I'm gonna hurt myself, I might die.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends.

• 0:44Andrew Santino?

  Apparently you guys were talking a lot of [bleep] when I wasn't here. That's what I heard.

• 0:48Bobby Lee?

  You don't know yourself?

• 0:49Andrew Santino?

  I heard you guys talking a lot of [bleep]. While I wasn't here. Not even here to defend myself, you guys are talking. It's interesting.

• 0:57Bobby Lee?

  Uh huh.

• 0:58Andrew Santino?

  Because when people talk behind your back to me, I always defend you.

• 1:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02Andrew Santino?

  I say, "He's not here to defend himself, don't say that stuff about him."

• 1:04Bobby Lee?

  It's so funny because when I look in the mirror, I look at my character defects as well. So I know what my problems are, you know? You don't know what your problems are?

• 1:14Andrew Santino?

  I know what your problems are, for sure. I know what yours are. But whenever people talk [bleep] about you, and I hear it and I catch wind of it, I grab it.

• 1:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah? I know where you saw it, in your heart.

• 1:27Andrew Santino?

  And I said, "You talking [bleep] about my dog, dude?" And they go, "Oh, so sorry, man." And I defend, I [shh].

• 1:33Bobby Lee?

  I never talked about your dog.

• 1:36Bobby Lee?

  I mean, your wife. I don't, no, I'm kidding. That's crazy.

• 1:39Andrew Santino?

  Is that your bit?

• 1:40Bobby Lee?

  That was crazy.

• 1:41Andrew Santino?

  Is that your?

• 1:42Bobby Lee?

  That was crazy.

• 1:43Andrew Santino?

  Is that your bit?

• 1:44Bobby Lee?

  I'm so, I got defensive.

• 1:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:46Bobby Lee?

  And I apologize.

• 1:47Andrew Santino?

  It's okay.

• 1:48Bobby Lee?

  She's beautiful, and I love her as a human.

• 1:49Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's whatever you want to do today, man. I heard that you had so much fun without me, you don't want me on the show anymore.

• 1:53Bobby Lee?

  Are you, are you in mind?

• 1:54Andrew Santino?

  That's what I heard.

• 1:55Bobby Lee?

  I turned down a pod with some so-and-so. He got mad, by the way.

• 1:59Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 2:00Bobby Lee?

  He came up to me, the first thing I was like, "Hey buddy, you don't want to pod with me?" And I go, "Oh no, with Andrew's not there, it's weird." You know what I mean? Didn't you do one with Stefano?

• 2:10Andrew Santino?

  Called it a go.

• 2:11Bobby Lee?

  I know, but it's like, I've never, like, we don't have that kind of... And he was mad.

• 2:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 2:17Bobby Lee?

  But I love him.

• 2:20Andrew Santino?

  Doesn't seem like it. It seemed like you would have done the pod with him if you loved him so much.

• 2:23Bobby Lee?

  You know, most people, they'll go to the Salvation Army, right? To get their t-shirts. Not this guy. Kith.

• 2:33Andrew Santino?

  You don't know what kith is, man.

• 2:35Bobby Lee?

  I've been to the kith, yeah. I've been to the kith with you in New York.

• 2:37Andrew Santino?

  Oh, right, I did. I brought him along, that's right.

• 2:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, I'm gonna say-

• 2:40Andrew Santino?

  You're coming at me today.

• 2:42Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not coming at you, dude. You're coming at yourself.

• 2:44Andrew Santino?

  By kith, sure?

• 2:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're coming at yourself, dude, and that's the sad part.

• 2:47Andrew Santino?

  How am I coming at myself?

• 2:48Bobby Lee?

  You're like, well, you guys were talking about me.

• 2:50Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I heard, the great find, you guys were talking. No, we can bring up the clips, we have them.

• 2:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 2:56Andrew Santino?

  Bring them up. Oh, the chair.

• 2:58Bobby Lee?

  Why do you have that? That's Andrew C. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah. It sucks. Oh, it sucks. Oh, just push pause? No, no, no. I already know what to say after that.

• 3:07Andrew Santino?

  I hope so, you just did the episode.

• 3:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you did a bit about, I did a bit about your little back.

• 3:11Andrew Santino?

  Let me see.

• 3:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's what Andrew likes. Yeah, anyway, you click, click, click.

• 3:16Andrew Santino?

  Opens up his butt.

• 3:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I know, his back, his back aches. Oh, my god. He has a spinal disc- What a gay little boy. He has a gay disc. He has a little gay- He has a gay disc in his back. He's a gay- They're dismantled. What a crybaby, huh?

• 3:31Andrew Santino?

  Interesting.

• 3:31Bobby Lee?

  Interesting, yeah.

• 3:32Andrew Santino?

  Keep going.

• 3:32Bobby Lee?

  Toilet, remember? Yeah. A crybaby. How'd he hit his head on the toilet? He got all woozy, like, woo, I'm redheaded, I get woozy.

• 3:39Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow.

• 3:39Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow, wow. It was a nerve wring. Ooh, this is so good. Wait, what's mine?

• 3:44Andrew Santino?

  Interesting.

• 3:45Bobby Lee?

  Interesting. It's interesting, but also clever.

• 3:47Andrew Santino?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 3:48Bobby Lee?

  Interesting, interesting, interesting.

• 3:50Andrew Santino?

  That was funny, I mean, it didn't make me laugh at all, but it was very funny.

• 3:52Bobby Lee?

  All right, let's-

• 3:58Bobby Lee?

  All right, let's get it out. Let's get it out in the open.

• 4:00Andrew Santino?

  I just said it.

• 4:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So, what I wanna say is, you've never talked about me?

• 4:05Andrew Santino?

  Never. Do you, is it, first of all, no, and if I did, is it on tape?

• 4:10Bobby Lee?

  No, but I've heard people say that you talk about me.

• 4:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what do I say?

• 4:14Bobby Lee?

  I don't remember, really recall.

• 4:15Andrew Santino?

  I feel like you'd remember.

• 4:16Bobby Lee?

  I think you're right, I think you made it up. Yeah, oh, my bad, I got caught in a lie.

• 4:20Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's okay.

• 4:21Bobby Lee?

  Um, I don't know what was with me that day, but, um-

• 4:24Andrew Santino?

  You were grooving.

• 4:24Bobby Lee?

  I went, no, I wasn't grooving, I was out of bounds, out of pocket. And, um, you know, because you're such a big star.

• 4:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:33Bobby Lee?

  Right? I love when Carlos laughs at me because he gets my comedy.

• 4:36Andrew Santino?

  Somebody gets your comedy.

• 4:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, alright, here we go. Okay, here we go.

• 4:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Let's not do this right now, dude, you know? I want to say to you this.

• 4:47Andrew Santino?

  Cause I heard you.

• 4:48Bobby Lee?

  I want to say this.

• 4:49Andrew Santino?

  Absolutely destroyed in Phoenix.

• 4:51Bobby Lee?

  Shut up dude.

• 4:52Andrew Santino?

  Just.

• 4:53Bobby Lee?

  Alright, now let me say this.

• 4:55Andrew Santino?

  Roof off.

• 4:57Bobby Lee?

  I have to say, Saturday night's second show was one of my best performances.

• 5:01Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 5:01Bobby Lee?

  But I also want to say this, okay? That you have no idea how I feel about you.

• 5:06Andrew Santino?

  Okay dude, let's move on.

• 5:07Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I'm not, no, all what is positive, you want to move on?

• 5:10Andrew Santino?

  I'm over it.

• 5:11Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not over it, alright? I love you like your family. And with my family, you kind of do little dig digs, right on the side.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, like you don't visit when you go to their town.

• 5:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that was a big point of contention. Two things, one.

• 5:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Andrew Santino?

  I did say to Carlos, I made him do Simon Says before the show. Cause I think he was stoned. And I asked him and he's trying to tell me he's not, but I looked into his eyes, you look into his eyes.

• 5:37Speaker 04

  I wear contacts.

• 5:38Bobby Lee?

  No, he's, Carlos, it would be better if you were honest.

• 5:44Speaker 04

  I didn't smoke weed today, I smoked last night.

• 5:47Andrew Santino?

  Last night.

• 5:47Bobby Lee?

  Weed.

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Of course, yeah.

• 5:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so now, we know now you're fully gone, relapsed.

• 5:52Speaker 04

  That's called California sober.

• 5:54Andrew Santino?

  No, that's not a real thing.

• 5:56Bobby Lee?

  You can call it.

• 5:57Speaker 04

  But people say that all over the internet.

• 5:59Andrew Santino?

  But it's not real, that's like a fake.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  I do meth, but I have, I'm Colorado sober.

• 6:04Andrew Santino?

  It's Colorado sober.

• 6:04Bobby Lee?

  It's the same thing, it doesn't make any sense.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  No, this is like one in the lexicon, it was in White Lotus, I think.

• 6:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:10Andrew Santino?

  But it doesn't mean you should do it. I thought you were clean, clean, clean, I thought we were all out.

• 6:15Bobby Lee?

  When I saw him in the alleyway.

• 6:17Speaker 04

  Oh no.

• 6:17Bobby Lee?

  In Australia.

• 6:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:18Bobby Lee?

  He had a glaze over his eyes, I don't know what he was on.

• 6:21Andrew Santino?

  What were you on in Australia, in the alley?

• 6:23Speaker 04

  Marijuana.

• 6:24Andrew Santino?

  That's it?

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  And you lied to me!

• 6:26Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:27Bobby Lee?

  You lied to me!

• 6:28Speaker 04

  You know what I did?

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  You lied to me!

• 6:29Speaker 04

  No, I got you on a technicality, I went into the hotel and I said, Bobby, I'm not drinking.

• 6:34Andrew Santino?

  Why, what do you mean?

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Because I need something on this earth.

• 6:37Andrew Santino?

  Bobby doesn't need anything.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  He should have something though.

• 6:40Andrew Santino?

  No, he has lots of things.

• 6:42Bobby Lee?

  I do agree, I should have something.

• 6:43Andrew Santino?

  You have sugar-free Red Bull and cigarettes.

• 6:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but sometimes I want more, to drown my sorrows.

• 6:48Andrew Santino?

  What do you want?

• 6:50Bobby Lee?

  I mean, sometimes I would love to smoke weed, you know what I mean, to zone out.

• 6:53Andrew Santino?

  But you don't need to.

• 6:54Bobby Lee?

  I don't need to, and I've been, three years I haven't.

• 6:57Andrew Santino?

  So that's great.

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:58Andrew Santino?

  Why would we crack it now?

• 7:00Bobby Lee?

  Because my fear, though, is that once that door is open, I do all the other stuff, and I can't have that. So I just decide to do all, I mean.

• 7:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because what he's saying also can happen to you. You may decide, so what, dude, I'm gonna be San Bernardino sober and just have one pill.

• 7:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you do pills, too.

• 7:19Andrew Santino?

  You do do pills.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  That's such a project.

• 7:21Bobby Lee?

  You don't.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  I probably only Xanax and Lexapro, which.

• 7:27Andrew Santino?

  Those are pills.

• 7:28Bobby Lee?

  Those are called pills, dude.

• 7:29Speaker 04

  But you get them at Walgreens.

• 7:31Andrew Santino?

  I know, but they can prescribe any.

• 7:32Bobby Lee?

  I do math, but I only smoke it.

• 7:34Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 7:34Bobby Lee?

  That's what it sounds like.

• 7:35Andrew Santino?

  That's what.

• 7:36Speaker 04

  It's not cartel stuff, so it's good.

• 7:38Andrew Santino?

  All right, well, whatever, I'm just looking out for your well-being.

• 7:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:41Andrew Santino?

  I'd rather you be clean as a whistle, clear-headed.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  I know, but I'm just.

• 7:46Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna.

• 7:46Andrew Santino?

  Sober Carlos.

• 7:47Bobby Lee?

  My history with Carlos is this, when I first met him, he was full-blown in Alcoholics Anonymous.

• 7:54Andrew Santino?

  It was great.

• 7:54Bobby Lee?

  And anyone that's in AA, right, people aren't, because they had, like, you know what I mean, an accident, it takes a lot of pain and suffering to drive you into a 12-step group.

• 8:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 8:06Bobby Lee?

  And to be committed to it, right, so that's, you know your history with it, right? You know that you're an alcoholic and drug addict. Do you?

• 8:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:15Bobby Lee?

  Okay, you have other addictions, too, like sex.

• 8:18Speaker 04

  You have claps, too.

• 8:19Andrew Santino?

  That's not a pointing, it's not a, it's not a pointing.

• 8:22Bobby Lee?

  I'm not arguing with you, this isn't like a tit-for-tat.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  But Bobby's being like, oh, I'm Mr. Sober and I know everything, but he's also.

• 8:29Andrew Santino?

  That's not true, he's not being, I know everything, Mr. Sober, he's just saying, to get back on the right track and stay clean.

• 8:36Bobby Lee?

  Have I done any drugs or alcohol since I got sober three years ago?

• 8:40Speaker 04

  No, but you've literally done them with me.

• 8:43Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 8:43Bobby Lee?

  But this, okay, you see what he's doing? That's the drug addiction Jedi shit.

• 8:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you are Jedi shit.

• 8:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  You're angling, you're angling.

• 8:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  You're trapping and angling, you're leading into a corner, you're trapped.

• 8:54Bobby Lee?

  You're a rat trapped.

• 8:55Andrew Santino?

  You're a rat trap.

• 8:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're a rat trapped, dude.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Like, rats should get in trouble for, like, having a little bit of cheese.

• 9:02Andrew Santino?

  A rat as fat as you doesn't need any more cheese.

• 9:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 9:05Andrew Santino?

  They're not taking the prosciutto. Anyway.

• 9:07Bobby Lee?

  Let's move on.

• 9:07Andrew Santino?

  Let's move on.

• 9:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, but um.

• 9:09Andrew Santino?

  Had a great time in the city of Minnesota.

• 9:11Bobby Lee?

  So Andrew did his special. He did four shows.

• 9:14Andrew Santino?

  I did.

• 9:15Bobby Lee?

  To cut it together. It's gonna be a wonderful um piece of artwork.

• 9:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, I hope so. It was a really, it was a little bit of a challenge at the beginning, finding everything the way that I wanted to find it. And also, boy oh boy, was I upset at my team.

• 9:29Andrew Santino?

  Shane Gillis was in town. Kevin Hart was in town. I was like, what the fuck?

• 9:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's, I saw a photo with you and Shane.

• 9:36Andrew Santino?

  Gilli played the Target Center where the Minnesota Timberwolves play, and Kevin played a big theater, uh, like he did like four thea- five theaters or something.

• 9:47Andrew Santino?

  All in Minneapolis that weekend.

• 9:49Bobby Lee?

  But did your, were your shows full?

• 9:50Andrew Santino?

  No, yeah, they sold out, but I'm just. What is, what's the problem? No, no, no, I'm just saying, thank God Shane sells out same day. Cause imagine if Shane was playing big theaters and he wasn't in act, that could sell out an arena same day. Then we would, we definitely share some audience. Do you know what I mean?

• 10:05Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 10:05Andrew Santino?

  Kevin and I, definitely no crossover. Uh, we joked, we were like, Kevin was, Shane goes, I guess you and I had to split all the whites in town. I was like, yeah, Kevin. There's no competition.

• 10:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:18Andrew Santino?

  But I mean, thank God Shane's so famous. He sold out the Target Center the same day.

• 10:22Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 10:22Andrew Santino?

  That's how famous he is. Like, we, I'm lucky we got around to it, but I think it's a bummer because ticket prices are so stupid now, and we can't control them anymore. It sucks. The promoters, Ticketmaster, the venues, it's disgusting what they do now. And people can't go to both. People couldn't see me on Friday and see Shane on Saturday. There's no way they could afford that. I think it fucking sucks. So I wish, I wish they communicated to go, hey, this guy's in town shooting. Can we reserve this, you know, this weekend? If we could, skip it or come back to.

• 10:53Bobby Lee?

  You're complaining about something that didn't happen though.

• 10:55Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I do think it affected the way that I moved at the end. Moved tickets at the end.

• 10:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see.

• 11:00Andrew Santino?

  Do you know what I mean? Like, it definitely changed people, because people.

• 11:02Bobby Lee?

  The first time I played the Philadelphia Helium.

• 11:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I love that club.

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  I showed up at the club, I'm not kidding you, it's not an exaggeration. I showed up at the first show on a Friday night, there was seven people.

• 11:14Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 11:15Bobby Lee?

  Right? And I kinda looked around and go, oh, I guess it's, I'm not big here, you know? They're like, oh no, it's just literally right across the street, Chappelle's there. And I go, oh, I got booked, right? And then the second show was full and it, and half the audience were like, oh, we saw the Chappelle's show earlier and we came to both.

• 11:36Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty rad.

• 11:37Bobby Lee?

  Still, the first show, I was gonna kill myself.

• 11:39Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah.

• 11:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:40Andrew Santino?

  When you can't, I mean.

• 11:41Bobby Lee?

  I understand what you're saying.

• 11:42Andrew Santino?

  Well, when you're fighting, when you're fighting upstream, because people can't see both and he takes a lot, I mean, he's so famous, Shane's the best, he's the biggest, so it's, you know.

• 11:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:51Andrew Santino?

  You can't fight that. But anyway, it was a good weekend in Minneapolis. I love, I love Minneapolis, although I was scared to come home once again.

• 11:58Bobby Lee?

  Because of the flights.

• 11:59Andrew Santino?

  Bro.

• 11:59Bobby Lee?

  I had turbulence last night.

• 12:00Andrew Santino?

  But it's getting out of control.

• 12:02Bobby Lee?

  It is.

• 12:02Andrew Santino?

  Today.

• 12:03Bobby Lee?

  How many, another crash?

• 12:04Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no dude, a Southwest plane almost hit a private jet today. Today. Today.

• 12:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 12:11Andrew Santino?

  It, look at this near miss. It's landing or taking off?

• 12:16Andrew Santino?

  It's landing and, is that it? Yeah, the jet's right there. Look at that. It's landing and the jet is coming. And so he took off again.

• 12:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god! Is it the, what, what do we call the people in the tower?

• 12:30Andrew Santino?

  The FAA, well no, the control tower, the people in the control tower?

• 12:34Bobby Lee?

  Control tower, tower people.

• 12:35Andrew Santino?

  Control tower people.

• 12:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it their fault? What is going on here?

• 12:39Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, man, something's going on though. Like, do you not believe?

• 12:42Bobby Lee?

  That could have been a disaster, dude.

• 12:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, everybody dead.

• 12:44Bobby Lee?

  Everyone dead.

• 12:45Andrew Santino?

  How is this not?

• 12:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:47Andrew Santino?

  Do we think something's going on? Can we make up a conspiracy, please?

• 12:51Speaker 04

  Did they fire all of the?

• 12:53Andrew Santino?

  FAA?

• 12:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I have a conspiracy.

• 12:54Andrew Santino?

  Is that real?

• 12:55Speaker 04

  They fired all the white ones?

• 12:56Bobby Lee?

  I have a conspiracy.

• 12:57Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 12:58Bobby Lee?

  And I think it's connected, so hear me out, guys. I heard your joke.

• 13:03Bobby Lee?

  And I'm sorry that didn't laugh.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  It's okay.

• 13:05Bobby Lee?

  I didn't like it.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  Just please, okay.

• 13:09Bobby Lee?

  Your resentment right now is so evident, so it's like?

• 13:12Speaker 04

  You're gaslighting me, dude. You're trying to get me resentment.

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  We, look, we know you're not high now.

• 13:16Bobby Lee?

  Andrew, was that gaslighting?

• 13:18Andrew Santino?

  No, there was no lighting there.

• 13:18Bobby Lee?

  There, there was, thank you. There was no lighting, from Andrew.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  My mistake, I, I thought I saw a little light.

• 13:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's no light. And if you saw one, it was dim.

• 13:27Andrew Santino?

  Soddy!

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  Soddy, sit down, you dumb dumb.

• 13:30Andrew Santino?

  No, you're not a dumb dumb dude.

• 13:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's one of the dumbest, dude. He's one of the dumbest on earth.

• 13:34Andrew Santino?

  You really think that?

• 13:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:36Andrew Santino?

  He's one of the smartest dudes in comedy.

• 13:37Bobby Lee?

  No. No. You're right.

• 13:41Bobby Lee?

  All right, let me finish this point and then we'll get to you.

• 13:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:44Bobby Lee?

  Dan Soder.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude.

• 13:45Bobby Lee?

  Love you.

• 13:46Speaker 05

  I love you too.

• 13:48Bobby Lee?

  The last time we did a gig together, you weren't that nice to me.

• 13:50Speaker 05

  Bullshit. That is 100% in your head.

• 13:52Bobby Lee?

  But there's no real this.

• 13:54Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, because it was two gigs we hung out with.

• 13:56Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 13:56Andrew Santino?

  Where was it?

• 13:57Speaker 05

  On the Burt tour.

• 13:58Bobby Lee?

  On the Burt tour.

• 13:59Speaker 05

  So it's chaos. You're just in the middle of chaos.

• 14:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but he, you know, I tried to start conversations. There's no dick locking.

• 14:04Speaker 05

  No, no, no.

• 14:04Bobby Lee?

  I want a dick locking.

• 14:05Speaker 05

  First off, I'll dock with you all day.

• 14:07Andrew Santino?

  He will.

• 14:07Speaker 05

  Go get foreskin put on my penis in order to dock.

• 14:11Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 14:11Speaker 05

  Do whatever the reverse.

• 14:12Bobby Lee?

  You know what? I believe you.

• 14:13Speaker 05

  Whatever the reverse.

• 14:13Bobby Lee?

  Let me finish my theory here, Dan, and we'll get to you.

• 14:16Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 14:16Bobby Lee?

  All right. Anyway.

• 14:19Andrew Santino?

  This is good. You're gonna want to hear this.

• 14:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so I think the reason why, um, there's a connection between the flights, you know what I mean? Getting in these accidents.

• 14:27Andrew Santino?

  All the flight crashes.

• 14:28Bobby Lee?

  And the drones that we saw a month ago.

• 14:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh, the Chinese drones?

• 14:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, wasn't there a lot of drones a couple of months ago?

• 14:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:35Bobby Lee?

  Around, right?

• 14:36Andrew Santino?

  New Jersey.

• 14:36Bobby Lee?

  New Jersey. It was in California as well. It was everywhere.

• 14:39Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 14:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. There, I, could there be a, a, a link there, you think?

• 14:45Andrew Santino?

  Something in alien airspace, something UFO airspace? What, what, what could it be?

• 14:49Speaker 05

  Are you thinking like the drones are causing the accidents?

• 14:52Bobby Lee?

  Maybe there's a connection, is all I'm saying.

• 14:54Speaker 05

  I like that. You're saying it like a CIA guy, where you go, there could be a connection.

• 14:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:58Speaker 05

  I'm not saying affirmative. I'm not saying negative.

• 15:00Bobby Lee?

  Do you ever see Zero Dark Thirty, brother?

• 15:03Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:04Bobby Lee?

  Have you seen Zero Dark Thirty? Yeah.

• 15:05Speaker 05

  I haven't.

• 15:06Bobby Lee?

  You haven't?

• 15:06Speaker 05

  No.

• 15:07Bobby Lee?

  There's another documentary called Manhunt.

• 15:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Well, guess who caught, who did they track? Let me ask you, who did they track to get to Osama bin Laden?

• 15:19Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, right? The courier.

• 15:23Andrew Santino?

  The mail delivery guy?

• 15:24Bobby Lee?

  No, he used one guy for information. So he, there was one guy.

• 15:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:28Bobby Lee?

  They would drive to his.

• 15:29Andrew Santino?

  Abu Ahmed Al Qad.

• 15:31Bobby Lee?

  Abu Ahmed Al Qad.

• 15:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 15:32Bobby Lee?

  Right? That dude, right?

• 15:34Andrew Santino?

  Is that Amir Kay?

• 15:35Bobby Lee?

  It is Amir. You know, and now he's doing stand-up. And he's very successful. You know what I mean?

• 15:42Speaker 05

  What a second act.

• 15:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Right, right.

• 15:45Speaker 05

  Just being a hilarious stand-up comic.

• 15:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:48Speaker 05

  You're always the courier for Osama Bin Laden.

• 15:51Bobby Lee?

  In a movie, I would cast Michael Pena, I think.

• 15:53Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent looks like Michael Pena.

• 15:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 15:54Bobby Lee?

  And not, um, Amir Kay.

• 15:56Andrew Santino?

  No, it'd be Michael Pena.

• 15:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, anyway, so I think that, so in, in, in the, the, one lady in the CIA was like, we, I think we should track the courier. And everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no, right? But that ended up being the truth.

• 16:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:10Bobby Lee?

  And she didn't even really know what the connection was, but she followed a gun instinct. I think that's what I'm doing with the fucking drones is.

• 16:16Andrew Santino?

  So your instinct is that the drones are making the planes crash.

• 16:19Bobby Lee?

  I don't know exactly the connection between them, but there's a gun instinct there.

• 16:22Speaker 05

  You just feel like it is. You go, I feel like.

• 16:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 05

  These two.

• 16:26Bobby Lee?

  I feel like it is.

• 16:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:27Bobby Lee?

  What's your theory, Soder?

• 16:29Speaker 05

  I don't know. These plane crashes are crazy how many are happening. There was also an avoided one. Did you guys see the one?

• 16:33Andrew Santino?

  We just talked about it.

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

  We just talked about that just now, yeah.

• 16:35Speaker 05

  That, I have, whenever something like this happens, I immediately empathize with the other plane. Just like, remember when the, uh, bridge in Baltimore, where the boat drove into the bridge?

• 16:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, dude.

• 16:45Speaker 05

  Just this moment of like lapses.

• 16:47Bobby Lee?

  I don't know anything about it. Please explain to me that catastrophe.

• 16:50Speaker 05

  There was a boat that like, it was like one of those, uh, short stack boats, almost like, uh, you can bring it up.

• 16:55Bobby Lee?

  I want, I want the clinical version of the boat because I don't get short.

• 16:59Speaker 05

  I don't even know what that means. I made that up.

• 17:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that.

• 17:01Speaker 05

  See, it's like a freight.

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  A freight, a freighter boat.

• 17:03Speaker 05

  Freighter boat ran into a bridge.

• 17:05Bobby Lee?

  Dark Knight. They had those in Dark Knight.

• 17:08Andrew Santino?

  A Dark Knight boat.

• 17:09Speaker 05

  Dark Knight boat.

• 17:09Bobby Lee?

  I call it a Dark Knight boat.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  In the biz, we call it a Dark Knight.

• 17:11Bobby Lee?

  Because remember the, in the Dark Knight, the first Batman movie, wasn't there like a thing where he first goes, I'm Batman? Which is a dead-on impression.

• 17:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was perfect.

• 17:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 17:21Andrew Santino?

  Really good.

• 17:21Speaker 05

  I thought Christian Bale was in the room.

• 17:22Andrew Santino?

  These are called containers chips?

• 17:24Bobby Lee?

  Container ship.

• 17:25Speaker 05

  But what, doesn't that sound more made up than short stack?

• 17:27Andrew Santino?

  Container, I know. It sounds like bullshit.

• 17:29Speaker 05

  Mine was completely made up.

• 17:30Andrew Santino?

  Short stack sounds great. It's a short stack shit.

• 17:32Bobby Lee?

  I call Brad William a short stack. Right, so that's my nickname for him, but my point is, is that so what happened here?

• 17:39Speaker 05

  So this, this like, uh, this boat went into the bridge. You see it at night, it like shuts the lights off and it fucks shit up.

• 17:46Bobby Lee?

  Were there people on the road?

• 17:47Speaker 05

  I don't know. I don't know if anyone died in that.

• 17:50Andrew Santino?

  No, people did die. A few people did die.

• 17:51Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 17:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the cars, yeah, a few people around. No one on the boat died and all the containers were safe, by the way.

• 17:57Speaker 05

  But everyone likes to go like, oh terrorist, this was a terrorist attack or whatever, but just like the small jet that almost got hit this time, just like a guy being an idiot.

• 18:05Andrew Santino?

  Fucking around.

• 18:05Speaker 05

  Being like, fuck, fuck, fuck, dude, is that, is that fucking plane about to take off? Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's like coming down and you're like,

• 18:12Bobby Lee?

  It's a fuck, fuck.

• 18:13Speaker 05

  And someone's just yelling your name in your ear going like, Bobby, Bobby.

• 18:17Bobby Lee?

  I, I've said that when I was entering a woman's vagina.

• 18:20Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 18:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's a fuck, fuck.

• 18:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's, no, but no, in a panic like that, like I shouldn't be doing it.

• 18:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 18:25Bobby Lee?

  Right? You know, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

• 18:27Andrew Santino?

  Ah.

• 18:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:29Andrew Santino?

  And then somebody dies.

• 18:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Have you ever had sex with somebody you didn't want to have sex with?

• 18:35Speaker 05

  I don't know how to answer that.

• 18:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, by a yes or no.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  Just like I thought, like I wasn't physically attracted to?

• 18:40Bobby Lee?

  No, but you just knew that there were little cray cray. You know, sometimes you get some little cray cray, you're like, what's gonna happen once I enter this?

• 18:47Speaker 05

  That's my early twenties, brother.

• 18:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, man.

• 18:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:49Speaker 05

  I don't know if you've ever been to Tucson, Arizona.

• 18:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 05

  Brother?

• 18:53Bobby Lee?

  Brother, tell me about it, brother.

• 18:54Speaker 05

  I was living it.

• 18:55Andrew Santino?

  Did you have any, did you have any, um, double XL? Do you ever go down that road? Anybody heavy?

• 19:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, I like a larger lady.

• 19:02Andrew Santino?

  I mean, double XL.

• 19:03Speaker 05

  Oh, no, like, I, I vastly outweighing me.

• 19:06Bobby Lee?

  So, so I have a weight.

• 19:08Andrew Santino?

  Cause you're a big dude.

• 19:08Bobby Lee?

  And I'm not lying. I had sex with one time, year, many, many years ago, with a 400 pound woman.

• 19:14Speaker 05

  That is, that's not, I don't think that's physically possible.

• 19:16Bobby Lee?

  It happened in Phoenix. 20 years ago.

• 19:19Speaker 05

  Did they have to lower you?

• 19:20Bobby Lee?

  Brother hooked it up.

• 19:21Speaker 05

  Did they have to lower you down into her?

• 19:22Andrew Santino?

  I don't know if it's a hookup.

• 19:24Bobby Lee?

  Well, yeah, it's a hook down.

• 19:25Andrew Santino?

  It's a hook down.

• 19:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, but.

• 19:28Speaker 05

  She goes, it was like a medical procedure? She's like, I'm gonna lay on my back. Then you're gonna enter me.

• 19:33Bobby Lee?

  And I, um, I did it though, like a soldier.

• 19:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you went through with it.

• 19:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, cause sometimes you're in Nam, right? You're in hamburger hill.

• 19:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:45Andrew Santino?

  You really go.

• 19:45Bobby Lee?

  You get it, right?

• 19:46Andrew Santino?

  You're going through it.

• 19:46Bobby Lee?

  Right, and your sergeant goes, "We gotta fucking take over this hill."

• 19:49Andrew Santino?

  And you're up first.

• 19:50Bobby Lee?

  And you, yeah, and you don't want to, but you end up up there anyway. You get friend slaughtered and whatnot, but you're still fighting for your life.

• 19:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:57Bobby Lee?

  Black Hawk Down. Black Hawk Down.

• 20:01Andrew Santino?

  Say it so Asian.

• 20:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:03Andrew Santino?

  Black Hawk Down.

• 20:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:04Andrew Santino?

  Black Hawk Down.

• 20:05Bobby Lee?

  You know, I recently saw the Netflix documentary on it.

• 20:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:09Bobby Lee?

  And I rewatched the movie.

• 20:10Speaker 05

  Are you getting like third-hand PTSD from these movies?

• 20:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 05

  You're coming back.

• 20:16Bobby Lee?

  So anyway, um, oh yeah, so that's what I did with this lady.

• 20:19Speaker 05

  How was it?

• 20:21Andrew Santino?

  Four hundreds had, pretty big.

• 20:23Speaker 05

  I mean, you did have sex with a water bed.

• 20:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 20:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Well, at that, see, the thing is, is at that time, this is pre-Matt TV.

• 20:31Andrew Santino?

  Oh, before you got on?

• 20:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so before I got on.

• 20:33Speaker 05

  Let me tell you.

• 20:33Andrew Santino?

  She liked you for who you really were.

• 20:35Speaker 05

  Through a.

• 20:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, she saw me emcee the improv in Tempe.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  She's eating a bucket of chicken, a nice Saturday night special, and then Matt TV comes on and she goes,

• 20:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:45Speaker 05

  "My little lover, my little..."

• 20:47Andrew Santino?

  "I used to fuck that guy."

• 20:48Speaker 05

  "My little spelunker."

• 20:50Bobby Lee?

  But here's the sad part of the story, and I feel so bad about it, and I think about it all the time, and I feel so bad about it. Nick, nicotine pouches!

• 20:57Andrew Santino?

  You heard us talking about Nick before.

• 20:59Bobby Lee?

  Right here, baby!

• 20:59Andrew Santino?

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• 21:05Bobby Lee?

  We be using all day, every day.

• 21:06Andrew Santino?

  They got citrus ice, berry, lemon ice, spearmint, and winter green.

• 21:10Bobby Lee?

  They do have winter green. They also have strawberry, watermelon ice, baby.

• 21:15Andrew Santino?

  Mmm, it's a step above any other pouch, because they use the best ingredients for a cleaner, more refined experience, and we're refined.

• 21:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we are, and if you're on a journey to quit nicotine, Nickt gives you full control of your experience. They're even launching a new zero-milligram option soon, helping you gradually reduce your nicotine usage at your pace.

• 21:34Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty great. If you're trying to kick chewing tobacco, traditional smoking products, or vape, Nickt flavors hit just right, okay? Some of these pouches that we've got here, right in front of you, very, very good crisp mint, by the way. The tropical ice is probably the most favorite. Everyone wants to grab one of those when they come through the studio. So it's time to upgrade to Nickt nicotine pouches, just like we did.

• 21:53Bobby Lee?

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• 22:00Andrew Santino?

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• 22:11Bobby Lee?

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• 23:57Bobby Lee?

  And I've never shared it on group level. I don't even know if I should.

• 24:01Andrew Santino?

  Go on.

• 24:01Bobby Lee?

  But I'm going to do it anyway, right? So years later, when I was kind of got on mad, this and that, I redid the room. I think as I was featuring for someone big, you know what I mean? And I don't know why, but I was walking, you know when they bring you up, I was walking toward the stage. Somebody grabbed my jacket, or my shirt, long sleeve shirt, and I look over and it's her.

• 24:23Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 24:24Bobby Lee?

  I just see this fat hand on my.

• 24:26Speaker 05

  How strong was that grip?

• 24:27Bobby Lee?

  You what?

• 24:27Speaker 05

  How strong was that grip? It was like a gorilla grabbed you?

• 24:30Bobby Lee?

  Or a walrus.

• 24:32Speaker 05

  Where you go.

• 24:32Bobby Lee?

  Flipper. It was a walrus flipper.

• 24:33Speaker 05

  You know when animal trainers realize that it's out of control?

• 24:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 24:37Speaker 05

  Like Bobby gave one of those where he goes, "Give it back."

• 24:39Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 24:40Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 24:40Speaker 05

  "We're not playing anymore."

• 24:41Andrew Santino?

  Kiko, Kiko, stop. Kiko, stop.

• 24:46Bobby Lee?

  No, it was more like a leper grabbing you back in the day.

• 24:49Speaker 05

  Oh, you're like, "Get away from me."

• 24:50Bobby Lee?

  I did this. I went.

• 24:53Bobby Lee?

  I pulled it away like that.

• 24:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 24:54Bobby Lee?

  And then after my set, I ran down, out, so she couldn't grab me.

• 24:58Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 24:59Bobby Lee?

  And I stayed in the green room so I wouldn't run into her. I feel so bad about it.

• 25:02Andrew Santino?

  She was clawing at the door. And you hear it like a dog on a.

• 25:07Andrew Santino?

  Smelling you under the door.

• 25:09Bobby Lee?

  So what's your fattest, you think?

• 25:10Speaker 05

  Oh, Jesus. Uh, I don't know. You know, I'm over 200, so I would imagine probably over that.

• 25:16Andrew Santino?

  What do you, what do you hover at? Two.

• 25:18Speaker 05

  I walk around at 215.

• 25:19Andrew Santino?

  Do you really?

• 25:20Speaker 05

  I would like to be 210.

• 25:21Andrew Santino?

  What are you, 6'3"?

• 25:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. That's good.

• 25:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I, nothing, nothing extreme.

• 25:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:28Andrew Santino?

  You've never, have you ever been like embarrassed, when you step on the scale, have you ever been like, "Jesus, Dan"?

• 25:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:33Andrew Santino?

  What was the, what was the Jesus, Dan?

• 25:34Speaker 05

  240.

• 25:36Andrew Santino?

  Whoa!

• 25:37Speaker 05

  And it was just like, uh, after a breakup and it was just sweet season. I'd just quit drinking.

• 25:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 25:42Speaker 05

  I'd quit drinking like a couple of years before and then he was just like eating everything.

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  Sweet seasons. Do you, you never had a sweet season when you quit doing drugs and alcohol? You're not really a sweets guy. You like, what is it, savory over sweet, right?

• 25:55Bobby Lee?

  That's interesting that you say that because you're absolutely wrong.

• 25:58Speaker 05

  Really?

• 25:59Andrew Santino?

  I don't know you'd eat a lot of sweets. Whenever we get to dessert.

• 26:01Bobby Lee?

  I hide it.

• 26:02Speaker 05

  You do secret sweetie pie?

• 26:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I do. I have a drawer in my bedroom with, um, gummy colas.

• 26:09Speaker 05

  Great.

• 26:09Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 26:10Andrew Santino?

  I've never seen you be a sweets boy.

• 26:12Bobby Lee?

  And then I have bags of these like candies with like salt in it, in the middle of it.

• 26:18Speaker 05

  Oh, so it's sweet and savory?

• 26:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, right? You know what?

• 26:21Speaker 05

  You're a little, you're, you're candy.

• 26:23Bobby Lee?

  The Mexican, like, when they use the mango and they put that stuff up, what's it called?

• 26:27Andrew Santino?

  What are you talking about, babe?

• 26:28Speaker 05

  Bobby's.

• 26:28Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh, oh, you're talking about, um. Tachin? Tachin.

• 26:31Bobby Lee?

  Yes. There's a tachin in the middle.

• 26:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, so it's got a little.

• 26:34Andrew Santino?

  Spice, little bit of spice?

• 26:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:36Andrew Santino?

  You know what's funny, dude? Cause whenever we go eat. You, you like the savory stuff and then when we get dessert, you'll take a bite. But, but you're not like a.

• 26:44Bobby Lee?

  You know, the reason why I take a bite?

• 26:46Andrew Santino?

  Huh.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  I have bites at home.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, you do.

• 26:47Bobby Lee?

  In the hotel room.

• 26:48Speaker 05

  You're goddamn right.

• 26:49Bobby Lee?

  How do you fucking know?

• 26:50Andrew Santino?

  Are you a secret, sweetie?

• 26:51Speaker 05

  I'm, I'm, I'm out in the open with it.

• 26:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:53Speaker 05

  Brother, I live it. It's Easter season. So I'm in, I'm in knee deep in the shit. They're doing jelly beans. I just picked up two bags of jelly beans, didn't even mean to.

• 27:01Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 27:02Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:03Speaker 05

  Because you got Jolly Rancher, it's Easter season, so everyone's doing their like, their jelly bean. I got Jolly Rancher and Airhead jelly beans.

• 27:10Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:11Andrew Santino?

  I'm a savory guy, dude. Late night, I want.

• 27:14Bobby Lee?

  I know that about you.

• 27:14Andrew Santino?

  I want a food food.

• 27:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, because you drink. You're getting all your sugar through the booze.

• 27:18Andrew Santino?

  That's.

• 27:19Speaker 05

  When you cut it, that's when you want that.

• 27:20Bobby Lee?

  That's what it is.

• 27:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:21Bobby Lee?

  God, you're so right.

• 27:22Speaker 05

  I didn't give a shit about sweets when I drank.

• 27:24Andrew Santino?

  I mean, I still like having a little bit of sweet tooth thing. When we go out to eat, I always have a little bit of dessert.

• 27:30Speaker 05

  Took down a mini bag of Cadbury, uh, eggs.

• 27:33Andrew Santino?

  Bad boy, dude.

• 27:34Speaker 05

  Just fucking landed and thought, why not?

• 27:37Bobby Lee?

  I, I want to say something to you. And I've always thought this, and I, I don't want to be rude.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  Oh, man.

• 27:43Andrew Santino?

  There it goes.

• 27:44Bobby Lee?

  And I want to cause any friction.

• 27:45Speaker 05

  I think it's gonna do both.

• 27:47Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't think so.

• 27:48Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 27:48Bobby Lee?

  I think I'm being very mindful about it. But it's, no, observation that I've had over the years, I've never been brave enough to tell you.

• 27:55Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:56Bobby Lee?

  But you're one of those comics, like, if you didn't do comedy, I just don't know.

• 28:01Speaker 05

  Oh, would I do?

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You know what you, I, I have a prediction what you would have been doing.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:05Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 28:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so you know that you go to Soho and they have those boutique shops? It's always some sort of arbitrary, like, name, like, FZZNY?

• 28:14Andrew Santino?

  I love FZZNY.

• 28:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:16Speaker 05

  They got some good.

• 28:17Bobby Lee?

  So let's go into the Zany, or whatever, right?

• 28:19Andrew Santino?

  The Zany's.

• 28:20Bobby Lee?

  And then you go in there and there's like this guy, he looks like a John Wick villain.

• 28:23Andrew Santino?

  Uh.

• 28:24Bobby Lee?

  He's got a black overcoat.

• 28:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:26Bobby Lee?

  Right? And just like tattoos on the neck.

• 28:29Andrew Santino?

  Eyeliner.

• 28:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, eyeliner.

• 28:30Andrew Santino?

  A lot of jewelry.

• 28:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know how much they make, probably not good.

• 28:33Andrew Santino?

  Who cares?

• 28:34Bobby Lee?

  Who cares? That's what you'd be doing.

• 28:35Speaker 05

  I can't think of something that is more opposite of who I am as a human.

• 28:40Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm saying you won't like it.

• 28:41Speaker 05

  I have never seen an, just an insane miss like that. That is, you have, you have, you know, you have zero work. Fucking knowledge of me as a human being.

• 28:50Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 28:50Speaker 05

  If you think I'm anywhere close, I have dressed the same like I'm moving since I was 12 years old.

• 28:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:57Bobby Lee?

  You don't understand.

• 28:59Speaker 05

  I don't understand.

• 28:59Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying to you, Dan?

• 29:01Andrew Santino?

  He's a laborer.

• 29:02Speaker 05

  I would never wear rings. I can't wear a watch.

• 29:04Andrew Santino?

  No, he's a laborer.

• 29:05Speaker 05

  Thin wrists.

• 29:06Bobby Lee?

  This is information I was not privy to.

• 29:08Speaker 05

  Well, guess what, brother? Before you diagnose, take a look at the x-ray. Cause I'm sitting right here.

• 29:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm a doc, kinda doctor where I don't look at the x-ray.

• 29:16Speaker 05

  No, you don't.

• 29:16Bobby Lee?

  As I diagnose.

• 29:17Speaker 05

  You come in, you go.

• 29:17Bobby Lee?

  I'm a diagnoser.

• 29:18Speaker 05

  You go, it's cancer, and they go, is it? And you go, could be though.

• 29:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, could be.

• 29:21Speaker 05

  Always could be.

• 29:22Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Lee, this is a dentist's office. He's got stomach cancer, I can tell.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  Sorry.

• 29:28Andrew Santino?

  Soder, Soder, I think would be.

• 29:29Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 29:30Andrew Santino?

  You'd be a laborer of some kind. I, I could see you.

• 29:33Speaker 05

  I would be getting in trouble for being funny.

• 29:35Andrew Santino?

  Correct, on a site, on a job site.

• 29:38Speaker 05

  Somewhere where I'd have to be somewhat serious, I would be getting in trouble for trying to be funny.

• 29:42Andrew Santino?

  You getting tied up with Ringling Brothers and you assembling part of the tents and also announcing stuff.

• 29:47Speaker 05

  Uh, I honestly, that's way close. You put me on the mic for the fucking flying Giuseppe's or whoever.

• 29:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 29:54Speaker 05

  Whoever's in sequins doing flips in the air.

• 29:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 05

  And I get to build a tent?

• 29:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he killed it.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  And then I make a mistake.

• 29:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  And then a couple of families.

• 30:01Andrew Santino?

  And then it's back to the railroads.

• 30:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:03Andrew Santino?

  You know, you're, you're, you're.

• 30:04Speaker 05

  But.

• 30:04Andrew Santino?

  You know him.

• 30:04Speaker 05

  If I got my four roses, you know, my little flask of whiskey and my traveling jacket.

• 30:11Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 30:11Bobby Lee?

  I, I have another observation.

• 30:13Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 30:13Bobby Lee?

  I just came about, I'm so sorry.

• 30:15Speaker 05

  He goes, you and your dad, you and your dad are best friends.

• 30:17Bobby Lee?

  That was very good. That's very good what you said, right?

• 30:19Andrew Santino?

  I know Soder.

• 30:20Bobby Lee?

  He also seems like this guy, right? Where you meet a girl.

• 30:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:23Bobby Lee?

  A beautiful girl, right?

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:25Bobby Lee?

  And you go, hey, you wanna go out there? She goes, I have a boyfriend, right? And then when you actually meet, it's like him.

• 30:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:30Bobby Lee?

  And I'm like, what the fuck are you dating this guy for?

• 30:32Speaker 05

  That's okay.

• 30:32Bobby Lee?

  Am I right?

• 30:33Speaker 05

  Warm.

• 30:34Bobby Lee?

  Am I getting warm?

• 30:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, very warm.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I understand it now.

• 30:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know you have a girlfriend, a wife.

• 30:41Speaker 05

  I have a fiance.

• 30:41Bobby Lee?

  Fiance?

• 30:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:42Bobby Lee?

  I understand it now, like I understand Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis with his girl?

• 30:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  The influencer lady?

• 30:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:48Bobby Lee?

  Would have never made sense in any other scenario.

• 30:51Speaker 05

  Besides what?

• 30:52Bobby Lee?

  Besides the famous comic influencer.

• 30:55Speaker 05

  I don't think so.

• 30:55Andrew Santino?

  You don't know.

• 30:56Speaker 05

  You underestimate Shane.

• 30:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:57Speaker 05

  I knew him before. I knew.

• 30:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so he was deep in hot chicks before?

• 31:01Speaker 05

  Before he got bit by the radioactive spider and he became Shane Man.

• 31:05Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 31:05Speaker 05

  He, he's, dude, he's charming. He's low key, he's low key a cutie pie.

• 31:10Andrew Santino?

  You're missing. Everybody needs fame. No, no, okay, how about this? You're, you're, you're missing a few key points, by the way. You go to the Midwest, you go to the Midwest, you see beautiful women with big guys' guys.

• 31:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:24Bobby Lee?

  Like in Canada.

• 31:25Speaker 05

  And I'm gonna tell you right now, I used to go with Shane, Shane used to go on the road with me and feature for me. And when we would go to like Boston or something like that, boy would, we were both single, boy would clean up.

• 31:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Speaker 05

  Cause the ladies would be like, ooh, I want me a pale daddy.

• 31:41Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 31:42Speaker 05

  And he'd be like, shut up, you're gay. And they'd be like, ooh.

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, I'm in love with you.

• 31:45Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 31:46Speaker 05

  I need them freckles.

• 31:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. He looks like a white guy that's been in water, like a dead corpse.

• 31:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 31:53Speaker 05

  Are you calling him bloated?

• 31:54Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying the eyes bold like it's been like in a swamp.

• 31:58Andrew Santino?

  I gotta tell you something right now?

• 31:59Bobby Lee?

  I'm wrong.

• 32:00Andrew Santino?

  He's gonna come get ya.

• 32:01Speaker 05

  You don't want that.

• 32:02Andrew Santino?

  You wanna start this war, dude?

• 32:03Speaker 05

  You are calling on, you're yelling at a cloud.

• 32:05Bobby Lee?

  He picks me up.

• 32:06Speaker 05

  You're yelling at a thunder.

• 32:07Bobby Lee?

  Like a little boy.

• 32:08Andrew Santino?

  You.

• 32:08Bobby Lee?

  And I like it. And we have that relationship, right? I'm not, you know, Shane, if you're listening right now, or if you get this clip.

• 32:14Speaker 05

  He will.

• 32:15Bobby Lee?

  I'm just, I give you props all day long. You're one of the funniest comics on planet earth.

• 32:20Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:20Bobby Lee?

  Right? You're the king.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:22Bobby Lee?

  And you deserve all your success. That's not what I'm saying.

• 32:24Speaker 05

  But you're saying before.

• 32:26Bobby Lee?

  You know, like, you know, in Lord of the Rings, like maybe the second or third movie, right? Remember Frodo and those guys went to the swamp?

• 32:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:35Bobby Lee?

  And Gollum's like, don't look in the water.

• 32:37Andrew Santino?

  Who's in the water?

• 32:38Bobby Lee?

  There's these dead elves from like thousands of years ago.

• 32:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god, dude.

• 32:42Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? That's all I'm saying.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  Just don't look in the water.

• 32:44Andrew Santino?

  You're starting a war.

• 32:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not starting a war. Anyway, I, I didn't mean it in a bad way. Let's, anyway.

• 32:48Speaker 05

  Soho store is just crazy.

• 32:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:52Bobby Lee?

  Whenever I go to those stores, I, I always look at the guy and I go, oh, there's a version of Dan Sardar.

• 32:57Andrew Santino?

  That's what you think?

• 32:58Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 32:59Bobby Lee?

  What are you doing?

• 33:00Andrew Santino?

  I just.

• 33:00Bobby Lee?

  Why can't you back me once?

• 33:01Speaker 05

  Cause I think you're insanely wrong.

• 33:03Bobby Lee?

  I think you're fucked up.

• 33:05Andrew Santino?

  You're out of bounds.

• 33:06Speaker 05

  Don't do that.

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  I'm sorry.

• 33:07Speaker 05

  Don't do that.

• 33:08Bobby Lee?

  I don't like what you're fucking doing either.

• 33:10Speaker 05

  I'm over here saving you from a war.

• 33:11Bobby Lee?

  I'm tired of being bullied by people like you.

• 33:13Speaker 05

  I'm saving you from a war.

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  I tried to fucking befriend you at the tour.

• 33:16Andrew Santino?

  See what he's doing? See what he's doing?

• 33:18Speaker 05

  I see it.

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I'm tired of being bullied by you after you just went after him and then Shane Gillis.

• 33:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, oh, really?

• 33:23Andrew Santino?

  You're bullied. You're bullied, dude.

• 33:26Bobby Lee?

  Fascinating. This is fascinating.

• 33:27Andrew Santino?

  You're a 100% bully.

• 33:29Bobby Lee?

  I'm being honest.

• 33:30Andrew Santino?

  You're mad that the Soho thing didn't land and then you bullied Shane Gillis.

• 33:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, you went after my friend.

• 33:35Andrew Santino?

  You're the bully, dude.

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  Well, the next time I say a thing, just agree with me.

• 33:40Speaker 05

  You know what?

• 33:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's the new rule.

• 33:42Speaker 05

  But let's both be... Hey, Bobby?

• 33:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:44Speaker 05

  I'm down, but let's make this cool on all of us, alright?

• 33:47Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 33:48Speaker 05

  It's like trying to negotiate.

• 33:49Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 33:50Speaker 05

  We're all gonna be cool.

• 33:50Andrew Santino?

  We're gonna be cool.

• 33:51Speaker 05

  We're all gonna be cool, we're gonna make a point we can all agree on.

• 33:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 33:54Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 33:54Andrew Santino?

  A point we can all agree on. Ready?

• 33:56Bobby Lee?

  You think everything you say I agree with? No.

• 33:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 33:59Bobby Lee?

  I always laugh and I always agree.

• 34:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:01Bobby Lee?

  That's what friendship's all about. Alright? I know your diabolical, east coast fucking way of thinking.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  What?

• 34:08Andrew Santino?

  Can I say something? I know it's...

• 34:09Bobby Lee?

  I'm so sorry.

• 34:09Andrew Santino?

  Something happened on the Burt tour between you guys that's unresolved.

• 34:13Speaker 05

  No, we had fun.

• 34:14Bobby Lee?

  Was it when I hurt my lip?

• 34:15Speaker 05

  You hurt your lip and you were gone.

• 34:17Andrew Santino?

  That's hilarious.

• 34:18Bobby Lee?

  But were you there?

• 34:19Speaker 05

  I texted you. I'm one of the only people that texted you. When you called me with Ralph Barbosa, I picked up and I said I was one of the only people that texted you.

• 34:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 34:27Andrew Santino?

  You busted your lip and...

• 34:28Speaker 05

  On the tour bus.

• 34:29Bobby Lee?

  On the tour bus, yeah.

• 34:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, we were on our way to Florida.

• 34:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:32Speaker 05

  And we were in Florida.

• 34:33Bobby Lee?

  I feel like you were the one of the last people to text. I think that's what it was.

• 34:36Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 34:36Speaker 05

  Okay, I'd honestly check the receipt. I think I...

• 34:39Bobby Lee?

  Now, I'm just testing you. You're supposed to agree with me. I thought the rule was...

• 34:44Speaker 05

  I thought that...

• 34:44Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no.

• 34:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 05

  Bobby, Bobby, hey, Bobby?

• 34:46Bobby Lee?

  I was testing him. He doesn't follow the rules.

• 34:49Speaker 05

  Bobby, look at me.

• 34:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:50Speaker 05

  I'm sorry. That was on me.

• 34:51Bobby Lee?

  There we go. It's as easy as that.

• 34:53Andrew Santino?

  Give me something to agree with.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  We're back in.

• 34:54Bobby Lee?

  Right? Dax Flame definitely has a bigger penis than you.

• 34:58Andrew Santino?

  Than me?

• 34:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 35:00Bobby Lee?

  That's C?

• 35:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:01Bobby Lee?

  Is it true?

• 35:03Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 35:04Speaker 05

  You know what? I don't, I don't care. Cause that kind of loyalty?

• 35:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's where it is.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  Fuck the truth. I'd rather have that.

• 35:10Andrew Santino?

  There it is.

• 35:11Bobby Lee?

  That's, I want you to be loyal.

• 35:13Speaker 05

  Got it.

• 35:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay?

• 35:14Speaker 05

  Done.

• 35:14Bobby Lee?

  And I will agree with everything you say. Say something that I might not agree with, but I'll agree with it.

• 35:18Speaker 05

  Honestly, I think, uh, gummy sodas kinda suck.

• 35:22Bobby Lee?

  I agree. And whenever I'm eating them, I don't even understand why it's in my mouth. Do you understand how easy that is?

• 35:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, throw it back to me.

• 35:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, this is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:30Andrew Santino?

  Good exercise.

• 35:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:33Bobby Lee?

  You look like a, uh...

• 35:35Andrew Santino?

  Alright.

• 35:36Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 35:36Speaker 05

  No, let him go.

• 35:37Bobby Lee?

  You look like a fluffer in gay porn.

• 35:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely. Strong jaw, looking like I'm just getting big gay rods.

• 35:43Bobby Lee?

  It's called a stiff. It's called, right, adding information and agreeing.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  Yes, and.

• 35:49Andrew Santino?

  Now do one, now do one back to him.

• 35:51Speaker 05

  Um, I'm just gonna say it right now, it shouldn't be illegal to eat a homeless person's ass.

• 35:56Bobby Lee?

  It should not be.

• 35:57Speaker 05

  Yeah!

• 35:57Andrew Santino?

  I went for a nighttime walk. I go for a nighttime walk a lot, and I go for a nighttime walk in the same little stretchy area by my neighborhood, and this homeless guy must have heard me like talking on the phone, and he yelled out, "I live here!" And I, and I felt bad. I was like, "Sorry."

• 36:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:16Andrew Santino?

  So, I said, "Sorry."

• 36:17Speaker 05

  Wow! Where does he stay?

• 36:18Andrew Santino?

  There's, so, like, by the LA River, but there's like a walking path, and people, there's like tents that are up underneath tucked under. You can't see them.

• 36:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:27Andrew Santino?

  And, but he's right, he does live there. I was talking loud.

• 36:30Bobby Lee?

  He does live there.

• 36:31Speaker 05

  The thought of him...

• 36:31Andrew Santino?

  And I apologized.

• 36:32Speaker 05

  The thought of him in makeshift reading glasses, reading the back of a label, and him going, "Will you shut the fuck up?

• 36:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 05

  I'm reading!"

• 36:41Andrew Santino?

  He's mixing chemicals. "I live here!"

• 36:43Speaker 05

  "I'm trying to make a new form of hooch."

• 36:45Bobby Lee?

  He's reading Dostoevsky.

• 36:47Speaker 05

  He's like, "Man, Raskolnikov really did have to murder that lady."

• 36:50Andrew Santino?

  I did call the cops and get him removed.

• 36:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:53Andrew Santino?

  Gotta clean up the streets, dude.

• 36:54Speaker 05

  Nice, dude.

• 36:54Andrew Santino?

  Can't put up with that shit, dude.

• 36:56Bobby Lee?

  Now, how do you feel about the homeless?

• 36:58Speaker 05

  How do I feel about them?

• 36:59Bobby Lee?

  Give me a genuine, you know, your opinion.

• 37:00Andrew Santino?

  Well, he doesn't see them now in New York. They're all hibernating.

• 37:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, they're all in the, they're all in the tunnels.

• 37:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, where do they go, in the tunnels?

• 37:06Speaker 05

  Honestly, you don't know. It's just like, it's like a crisp, it's like a crisp fall day, and then they're just, where are they? And then it gets hot, and then you're like, "Oh, I can't walk my dog."

• 37:15Bobby Lee?

  Maybe they're frozen and they thaw.

• 37:17Speaker 05

  That might be. You go, "Seasons are changing." They start, "Help me!"

• 37:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:21Andrew Santino?

  Reanimate?

• 37:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and then, and now it's March.

• 37:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and they...

• 37:25Bobby Lee?

  Do the position. Yeah, March.

• 37:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 37:32Speaker 06

  I live here!

• 37:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:35Speaker 05

  You just did the thawing of a homeless man, perfect.

• 37:38Bobby Lee?

  And that's comedy 101. That's called a cult.

• 37:40Speaker 05

  And that's what we do here at Bad Friends.

• 37:42Bobby Lee?

  And that's how talented he is.

• 37:43Andrew Santino?

  By the way, that's, that's this Encino Man. We just did the movie Encino Man.

• 37:47Bobby Lee?

  Don't, don't, don't, please don't do this.

• 37:48Speaker 05

  Everything's fitted for a reboot right now.

• 37:50Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much for that.

• 37:52Speaker 05

  Honestly, tell me Bobby Lee in the Brendan Fraser role?

• 37:54Andrew Santino?

  You would be a great Encino Man.

• 37:56Speaker 05

  You as the new weasel?

• 37:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh, bro. Let's go.

• 38:00Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let's talk about what they should remake.

• 38:04Speaker 05

  Ah, yeah, okay.

• 38:05Bobby Lee?

  Can we talk about what movies they should remake?

• 38:07Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna go down the same line of where we already are. One of my favorite movies, that's underrated, Airheads. I fucking...

• 38:12Speaker 05

  Would love a new Airheads, but how do you do Airheads? Radio doesn't matter anymore.

• 38:16Andrew Santino?

  Podcasts.

• 38:17Speaker 05

  Oh, they like, they like take over like a Joe Rogan?

• 38:20Bobby Lee?

  I never saw Airheads.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  Oh, you would love it. Brendan Fraser, you got Adam Sandler.

• 38:25Andrew Santino?

  Sandler, dude.

• 38:25Speaker 05

  Buscemi.

• 38:26Andrew Santino?

  So these three guys are like, they're, they're a shitty band, and they badly want to get on the, on the radio. Back when like, if you got your record played once, it was like you were home free on a, on a radio.

• 38:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:36Andrew Santino?

  And they decide they're gonna hijack a local radio station because they just can't get any fucking radio play. And it's basically Die Hard at a radio station.

• 38:43Bobby Lee?

  That's amazing.

• 38:44Andrew Santino?

  It's fucking awesome.

• 38:45Speaker 05

  But they're the bad guys. The good guys are the bad guys. They're like idiots, they take over the radio station.

• 38:49Andrew Santino?

  But you root for them because they're so downtrodden.

• 38:51Bobby Lee?

  Let's remake Airheads.

• 38:52Andrew Santino?

  This is us, by the way. Soder is obviously Fraser, you're the tallest, I'm Sandler, and you're Buscemi.

• 38:58Speaker 05

  I mean, let's do it.

• 38:59Bobby Lee?

  What about remaking Gremlins?

• 39:02Speaker 05

  Love it. One or, how about one and two?

• 39:04Andrew Santino?

  Let's start.

• 39:05Speaker 05

  Give me the whole franchise.

• 39:05Andrew Santino?

  Start with one.

• 39:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, start with one.

• 39:07Andrew Santino?

  Start if anybody wants.

• 39:07Speaker 05

  I'll tell you right now, I'm so geeked up.

• 39:09Bobby Lee?

  I wanna be a Mogwai.

• 39:11Andrew Santino?

  You are a fucking Mogwai.

• 39:13Speaker 05

  Honestly, if they ever do a reboot and you're not voicing the Mogwai?

• 39:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 05

  Someone's missing big.

• 39:19Bobby Lee?

  I wanna be them.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  Put fur on me.

• 39:25Bobby Lee?

  What about goonies?

• 39:28Speaker 05

  Ah, I can't touch that.

• 39:29Bobby Lee?

  Can't, you can't touch it.

• 39:30Speaker 05

  It's pitch perfect.

• 39:31Bobby Lee?

  It's pitch perfect.

• 39:32Andrew Santino?

  It's also because that childhood fantasy of like neighborhood play, I don't even know if people do that. I don't know if kids do that, like go to the woods.

• 39:40Bobby Lee?

  That's a good point, that's a good point.

• 39:41Andrew Santino?

  Do kids get in trouble in the woods?

• 39:42Speaker 05

  Did you see the lady in Georgia that got arrested because her son walked like half a mile to a store?

• 39:47Bobby Lee?

  I remember, yeah, I saw that.

• 39:48Andrew Santino?

  Insane.

• 39:49Bobby Lee?

  Insane.

• 39:49Speaker 05

  Ten years old.

• 39:50Bobby Lee?

  She was charged, right?

• 39:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:52Andrew Santino?

  A child endangerment.

• 39:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's, yeah, the kids wouldn't do it, so that's why it wouldn't make any sense.

• 39:56Speaker 05

  They call it.

• 39:56Bobby Lee?

  Amazing.

• 39:57Speaker 05

  They call that free range parenting now.

• 40:00Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 40:00Speaker 05

  When you just let your kid be a kid. When you're not helicoptering anymore, now it's called free range.

• 40:05Bobby Lee?

  I ran away from home for a week, I'm not kidding you. And my parents didn't go to the cops.

• 40:09Andrew Santino?

  Why would they?

• 40:10Speaker 05

  Because they just knew you were gonna come back.

• 40:11Bobby Lee?

  I came in the house, I had for a week, my dad goes, huddle.

• 40:16Bobby Lee?

  And I go, alright.

• 40:17Speaker 05

  That's the reception?

• 40:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:18Andrew Santino?

  It is funny that like, it was such a not big, there were kids that I knew growing up whose parents were real, real like Lucy Goosey, you know?

• 40:26Speaker 05

  Dude, I had a friend that didn't have to check in with his parents to sleep over.

• 40:29Andrew Santino?

  Just could just do it.

• 40:30Speaker 05

  He could, he could fucking, he could turn the key and launch it himself.

• 40:33Andrew Santino?

  So right.

• 40:33Speaker 05

  You go, you want to sleep over? He goes, yeah, you gonna call her?

• 40:36Andrew Santino?

  What for? I don't want to bug him?

• 40:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't know, I think they, they probably.

• 40:39Andrew Santino?

  You know where she is? She's at the casino anyway.

• 40:41Bobby Lee?

  Also, can I say?

• 40:42Speaker 05

  She's up in Black Hawk.

• 40:43Bobby Lee?

  Can I say, this is a controversial say, one thing I want to say.

• 40:46Speaker 05

  Let it rip.

• 40:47Bobby Lee?

  Is, I feel like the bullying that I received was necessary.

• 40:51Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 40:51Andrew Santino?

  When you were a kid.

• 40:52Bobby Lee?

  Yes. Put your head in this toilet, you're not gonna be able to breathe for two, you know, all that stuff.

• 40:56Andrew Santino?

  You never got a swirly in real life.

• 40:58Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 40:58Andrew Santino?

  You never got a swirly.

• 40:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, I was swirly, I was locked, like old school, I was locked in a locker for four hours.

• 41:03Speaker 05

  No way.

• 41:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:04Speaker 05

  What grade?

• 41:05Bobby Lee?

  It was half locker, so I had to crouch.

• 41:08Bobby Lee?

  It was insane.

• 41:09Speaker 05

  What grade?

• 41:10Andrew Santino?

  Ninth.

• 41:11Bobby Lee?

  No, even younger, like probably second grade or third grade.

• 41:14Andrew Santino?

  Freshman year, freshman year sounds like exactly what's gonna happen.

• 41:17Bobby Lee?

  And I, I definitely heard teachers walk by and I was screaming and they didn't even help me.

• 41:20Andrew Santino?

  Well, you hear teachers like, is Bobby Lee in there? That's so funny.

• 41:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 05

  Go, go, go to the lounge, go to the lounge, go to the lounge.

• 41:26Bobby Lee?

  I just feel like that um sort of like made me strong enough to do comedy on mom.

• 41:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely. Do you know there's kids that are like, they're giving Ozempic to like fat kids now? And you're like, no, no, no, you're gonna, you're not gonna have funny people when you grow up.

• 41:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let them level out.

• 41:40Speaker 05

  Right. Let them be fat and weird and awkward.

• 41:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Shane Gillis.

• 41:44Speaker 05

  Dude, you want that smoke.

• 41:45Andrew Santino?

  You're doing it again. I don't know why you're doing it.

• 41:47Speaker 05

  Honestly, I'm trying to agree with everything you're saying.

• 41:49Bobby Lee?

  You know what? I'm trying to bring down the king.

• 41:51Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 41:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm willing to do it.

• 41:53Andrew Santino?

  You know, it's hard to bring down the king when you're a rook.

• 41:55Speaker 05

  Damn, did you just write that?

• 41:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:58Speaker 05

  Just write that?

• 41:59Andrew Santino?

  Thank you, dog.

• 42:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll be honest with you.

• 42:03Speaker 05

  Did you just spit that off the top of your?

• 42:04Bobby Lee?

  The last, the last gig that he did here, did you do the show?

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  The last gig?

• 42:09Bobby Lee?

  The Will Turn one with Bill Burr and Shane Gillis.

• 42:11Andrew Santino?

  I did that show, yeah.

• 42:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, mine wasn't asked.

• 42:14Andrew Santino?

  Oh, they told me why they didn't ask.

• 42:17Andrew Santino?

  Cause it was a strict timeline they had to keep and they were like, Bob, will Bob be on time to sing? I said, no, no chance.

• 42:22Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 42:24Bobby Lee?

  That hurts me so bad, dude, that you wouldn't, that's really hurtful.

• 42:28Andrew Santino?

  That's not true. They didn't, they didn't ask anybody.

• 42:30Bobby Lee?

  He wouldn't, they would never ask me, is my point, right?

• 42:33Speaker 05

  Stop, don't do this.

• 42:34Andrew Santino?

  This is bullshit.

• 42:35Bobby Lee?

  It's not, fuck you.

• 42:37Andrew Santino?

  All right, well, you know what?

• 42:37Bobby Lee?

  Welcome to the show and thanks for doing it.

• 42:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me. I fucking love you.

• 42:41Bobby Lee?

  I'm in a mood, I'm sorry.

• 42:42Speaker 05

  And honestly, I love it. It's like holding a cat with its claws out.

• 42:45Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 42:46Speaker 05

  It's still sweet.

• 42:46Bobby Lee?

  That's good, that's good, that's good.

• 42:47Speaker 05

  Trying to keep you away from the problem areas.

• 42:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah? That's good, that's good, that's good. I have a problem with some other kings here, man. If we're doing this, that's.

• 42:55Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead.

• 42:55Speaker 05

  D L Hughley, Steve Harvey.

• 42:58Bobby Lee?

  I have problems, yes, I, I, yeah, I have problems with them as well.

• 43:01Andrew Santino?

  And rest in peace.

• 43:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:02Speaker 05

  Bernie Mac.

• 43:03Andrew Santino?

  Bernie Mac, the king of all kings.

• 43:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 05

  The true king.

• 43:05Bobby Lee?

  Who has bulgy eyes.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  The true king of kings.

• 43:07Bobby Lee?

  Right. Who has bulgy eyes, like somebody else we know.

• 43:11Speaker 05

  Dude, what are you doing, bro?

• 43:12Andrew Santino?

  Who are you talking about?

• 43:13Speaker 05

  I'm telling you, we hold counsel with the man.

• 43:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  And you're coming over here and you're gonna, you're gonna get, you're gonna get done.

• 43:20Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes Slovenia needs to have, start a war with the United States.

• 43:23Speaker 05

  No.

• 43:24Andrew Santino?

  No, they don't. That's a terrible fucking idea.

• 43:25Speaker 05

  That's something you say coming out of a nap.

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  Shopify.

• 43:30Bobby Lee?

  Guess what?

• 43:31Andrew Santino?

  Guess what?

• 43:33Bobby Lee?

  I get, oh, I'll, what?

• 43:35Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 43:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 43:36Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes it's a knock-knock and I say knock-knock.

• 43:38Bobby Lee?

  Right, well, I'll tell you, we have the best online business because we use Shopify.

• 43:42Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right. Shopify is home of the number one checkout on the planet. And by the way, when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like ALO or Allbirds or Skims, sure, you think that's a great product, a cool brand, brilliant marketing, yada, yada, yada. But often overlooked, the secret is actually the businesses behind the business, making selling for shoppers and buying, very simple for millions of businesses, that business is Shopify.

• 44:05Bobby Lee?

  Nobody does selling better than Shopify. I'm telling you right now, home of the number one checkout on the planet, and the not-so-secret secret, with Shop Pay, that boosts conversions up to 50%.

• 44:16Andrew Santino?

  That is so much. That means way less carts are gonna go abandoned and way more sales going cha-ching through the roof.

• 44:25Bobby Lee?

  Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as Allbirds or ALO uses.

• 44:31Andrew Santino?

  Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/badfriends. That's all lowercase.

• 44:36Bobby Lee?

  Go to Shopify.com/ lowercase badfriends to upgrade your selling today.

• 44:40Andrew Santino?

  Shopify.com/badfriends. Manscaped, hey, spring cleaning isn't just for finally throwing out that orange mustard-colored hoodie that I just can't let go because my nana gave it to me when I was a kid, okay? It's time to reset your grooming routine because let's face it, your downstairs situation, that basement, huh? It's, uh, it's looking anything like Bobby's diet. It's wild and unkempt and concerning. Uh, it's time for a serious trim. Manscaped Beard and Balls Bundle has you covered from cheeks to hell. Even that little patch of hair Bobby still calls a mustache. You spent all winter looking like Andres if he let Bobby give him a haircut or if I went on a bender, uh, down in Key West. It's time to clean up. Join over 12 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped and use the code BADFRIENDS for 20% off plus

• 45:25Andrew Santino?

  free shipping at manscaped.com. We've talked about Manscaped on this show so much, man. With the all-in-one grooming, the Beard Hedger keeps my beard looking crisp, like a bloomed flower, fresh in the spring, in the sun. Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra clears out the underbrush. That's what I use downstairs. That's what cleans up, huh? I no longer... Have carpet down there. They don't match the drapes. It's hardwood floors, ladies and germs. They got skin safe technology. You're not going to nick your nuts. I've told you that because I used to do that. You remember when you nicked your nuts in the shower? Unbelievable. Looked like a scene from Psycho. Now they got precision lighting in the lawnmower. Comes with an LED spotlight. You can ensure you're getting every crevasse down there. Travel friendly and risk free trial for Manscaped offers a 30 day money back guarantee.

• 46:07Andrew Santino?

  You can try the beards and balls bundle completely risk free. Come on, what are you waiting for? Uh, don't uh, cut corners on your grooming routine. Upgrade the beard and balls bundle from Manscaped. Visit manscaped.com, use the code BADFRIENDS to get 20% off plus free shipping. Or if you need it today, you can find Manscaped at a store near you. Stay fresh this season for everyone's sake. Level up your grooming game today.

• 46:27Speaker 05

  It's not something you say.

• 46:28Bobby Lee?

  You're right, you're right.

• 46:28Andrew Santino?

  No, no, who's the other person you want to throw a stone at? I'm curious now.

• 46:32Speaker 05

  He said you wanted another king, another king.

• 46:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay, I'll, I'll throw this out. Billy Burr.

• 46:37Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 46:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he goes, his way of saying, he's like, he'll call me kiddo, right?

• 46:43Speaker 05

  Does he rub your head?

• 46:44Andrew Santino?

  You guys are the same age.

• 46:45Bobby Lee?

  I know, and he doesn't really, um, you know what I mean? Talk to me that much.

• 46:51Speaker 05

  Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?

• 46:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:53Speaker 05

  That's what he says.

• 46:54Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't talk to anybody that much. Bill is a very quiet.

• 46:56Bobby Lee?

  I don't like that.

• 46:57Andrew Santino?

  You want him to be more chatty?

• 46:59Bobby Lee?

  More chatty.

• 47:00Andrew Santino?

  Bill Burr to be more chatty?

• 47:01Bobby Lee?

  I've, I love him.

• 47:03Andrew Santino?

  He loves you too.

• 47:03Bobby Lee?

  We've worked together many times.

• 47:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:05Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, let's move on.

• 47:06Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 47:07Andrew Santino?

  Shots are fired.

• 47:08Bobby Lee?

  Shots are not fired.

• 47:09Andrew Santino?

  No?

• 47:09Bobby Lee?

  Why? Because I said that Shane Gillis is bloated looking? How is that a shot fired?

• 47:14Andrew Santino?

  That's legitimately a shot fired.

• 47:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:16Andrew Santino?

  Okay. Is it not? Am I crazy?

• 47:18Speaker 05

  Of all weeks.

• 47:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay, here we go.

• 47:21Andrew Santino?

  I know, he's hosting SNL.

• 47:22Bobby Lee?

  That doesn't look Shane Gillis sleeping.

• 47:23Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god, dude, you're fucked.

• 47:25Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 47:25Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 47:26Bobby Lee?

  Imagine a nudist beach and Shane Gillis at it. Bingo. There he is.

• 47:32Andrew Santino?

  I will say this. You are my best friend and I love you so much.

• 47:36Bobby Lee?

  I'm going wrong.

• 47:36Andrew Santino?

  I cannot wait for him to come back at you. Like it's fucking.

• 47:40Speaker 05

  Honestly?

• 47:40Andrew Santino?

  It's gonna be great.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  I just, I feel like a fur trapper that's come out of the mountains and told you like, you don't want that war. Dude, you think that's gilly? I'd give you some Sam Elliott knowledge right now and say Bobby, sometimes you eat the bear. Well, sometimes the bear eats you. That's not funny. That's not funny.

• 47:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the way you said it.

• 48:03Speaker 05

  Stop it.

• 48:03Bobby Lee?

  Fuck you. Thanks for coming.

• 48:06Speaker 05

  I'm loving whatever's going on.

• 48:08Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so I'm gonna say this.

• 48:09Speaker 05

  You're humming hot.

• 48:10Bobby Lee?

  I'm humming hot right now, okay? I'm on fire, dude.

• 48:12Speaker 05

  You're pinned.

• 48:14Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna try to dig my way out. Alright. When that whole thing happened with Shane, you know what I mean?

• 48:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I was the first one to defend him. Number two, the first time I saw him perform, I thought to myself, oh, well, I would never want to follow that.

• 48:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:33Bobby Lee?

  He's a beast.

• 48:34Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 48:34Bobby Lee?

  He's an absolute beast, right? Um, he's at the top of his game.

• 48:38Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 48:39Bobby Lee?

  He's got a beautiful girlfriend, right?

• 48:40Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 48:41Bobby Lee?

  I met, I know his dad. Love him.

• 48:43Speaker 05

  Phil's a legend.

• 48:44Bobby Lee?

  Great guy, right?

• 48:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:46Bobby Lee?

  I've been only respectful to his family, right? I did a little dig. I did a little, I did a little.

• 48:53Speaker 05

  I'm gonna tell you right now, you moonwalking son of a bitch.

• 48:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I moonwalk, brother? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.

• 49:01Speaker 05

  That might there, that might have saved you.

• 49:03Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 49:03Speaker 05

  You walk walked.

• 49:05Bobby Lee?

  I walked walked.

• 49:05Speaker 05

  You walk walked backwards.

• 49:07Bobby Lee?

  And I only have the greatest admiration that he's one of the kings of the world right now. He's a beast.

• 49:12Speaker 05

  That's your.

• 49:12Bobby Lee?

  And I discovered this when we did, no, please don't call him. I discovered this when me and Shane were guest stars on the Burton Tom Show in Vegas.

• 49:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:24Bobby Lee?

  I went up first, right? And I, he was supposed to go before me and I switched it. I brought Shane on. And this is in front of 15, 20,000 seats.

• 49:34Speaker 05

  I was there.

• 49:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you were there.

• 49:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:36Bobby Lee?

  And when I said his name, the kind of response that he got went through my, I had a spiritual awakening.

• 49:44Speaker 05

  You felt that?

• 49:45Bobby Lee?

  Is that really your laugh?

• 49:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what I laughed. That made me laugh.

• 49:49Andrew Santino?

  Gilly.

• 49:50Speaker 05

  Alright.

• 49:51Speaker 06

  What up, bro?

• 49:51Andrew Santino?

  I want to tell you, you're on the pod and we can cut it for sure, because I never want to trap you. But Soder's over here right now. Soder's in studio. Uh, the man. And Bobby is over here. He's on a hot one. He's talking shit about you and we warned him and I said-

• 50:04Bobby Lee?

  I'm not talking shit about you, dude.

• 50:06Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead and say it, dude. Go ahead and say what we gotta say to Shane Gillis. Say it.

• 50:09Bobby Lee?

  I just said that you're one of the top comics on planet Earth. You're one of the kings.

• 50:12Speaker 05

  No, what else?

• 50:12Bobby Lee?

  I know your dad. I know your dad.

• 50:14Andrew Santino?

  No, it's not what you-

• 50:14Bobby Lee?

  And I have great respect for you. Is that a slam?

• 50:18Andrew Santino?

  Doesn't sound like that's what you said.

• 50:19Bobby Lee?

  So, I'll tell you what I said. Alright, I think you have bulgy eyes.

• 50:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 50:27Bobby Lee?

  And sometimes you look bloated.

• 50:30Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 50:31Bobby Lee?

  Is that war?

• 50:32Speaker 05

  Uh oh.

• 50:33Andrew Santino?

  Is it war, Gilly?

• 50:34Speaker 06

  No, no, no, no, no. Me go to war with fucking Bobby Lee? No.

• 50:38Bobby Lee?

  Could you defeat me quickly?

• 50:41Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm not. No, I think you're great, man. I look forward to the special.

• 50:45Andrew Santino?

  See that, dude? He throws you a compliment. You insult my friend.

• 50:48Bobby Lee?

  Shane, why you doing? Oh my, I feel so bad now.

• 50:51Andrew Santino?

  That's the kind of guy Gillis is. Thank you, Shane.

• 50:53Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, Shane.

• 50:53Andrew Santino?

  Love you, buddy. Talk to you later.

• 50:54Speaker 06

  Hey, good luck, man. I wish you guys nothing but the best. Bobby, keep it up, man. You're hilarious.

• 50:59Andrew Santino?

  I love you, Shane.

• 51:00Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 51:06Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 51:07Speaker 05

  That good a comedy and that good a person.

• 51:10Andrew Santino?

  So you get a two for two?

• 51:11Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 51:13Andrew Santino?

  You feel that, huh?

• 51:14Speaker 05

  You know what, though? At least you're reflective of it.

• 51:17Andrew Santino?

  That's even-

• 51:17Speaker 05

  And the accountability.

• 51:19Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'll tell you another thing, dude.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  Bro.

• 51:20Bobby Lee?

  We're cutting all that out.

• 51:23Andrew Santino?

  No, we're not.

• 51:23Bobby Lee?

  I have control of this podcast. We're gonna cut all that out.

• 51:27Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 51:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:28Andrew Santino?

  He just texted me.

• 51:29Bobby Lee?

  What'd he say?

• 51:30Andrew Santino?

  Tell him he's fucking dead.

• 51:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, fuck-

• 51:35Bobby Lee?

  Let me see it.

• 51:36Andrew Santino?

  Fucking dead.

• 51:38Andrew Santino?

  Totally.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  Wait, he really?

• 51:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he did, really did.

• 51:41Andrew Santino?

  That's it for you, buddy.

• 51:42Bobby Lee?

  That's it for me. Oh, well, you know what?

• 51:45Speaker 05

  It was a good run.

• 51:45Bobby Lee?

  I think it's my way to get out.

• 51:47Andrew Santino?

  It's a good run.

• 51:47Bobby Lee?

  It's a good run. It's my way to get out. I'll get out.

• 51:51Speaker 05

  It's my way to get out. You know what, man?

• 51:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:53Speaker 05

  Honestly, they won't be able to find me in Vermont if I stay off the internet.

• 51:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I mean, I have a fantasy of just kind of getting out.

• 52:00Andrew Santino?

  You know what it is, dude?

• 52:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:01Andrew Santino?

  This is like one of those Hollywood stars, where are they now? And this will be a grainy flashback to when it all started to plummet.

• 52:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, this is when the music changes.

• 52:10Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 52:11Speaker 05

  This is when the music changes on the dock.

• 52:13Andrew Santino?

  The color slowly fades. It goes black and white.

• 52:16Speaker 05

  Things get slowed down.

• 52:17Andrew Santino?

  It's just punched in on you right now, contemplating.

• 52:21Bobby Lee?

  I want to say, I haven't slept a lot lately.

• 52:23Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 52:23Andrew Santino?

  All you do is sleep. It's literally all I can do.

• 52:25Bobby Lee?

  No, but the last three days I haven't because I've been traveling and stuff, okay? I haven't been sleeping.

• 52:29Andrew Santino?

  You think you're, uh...

• 52:31Bobby Lee?

  I'm not in my right mind. And I think that what I did was, um, not right. And it was like, I don't even think that's how I really feel, you know?

• 52:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:41Bobby Lee?

  I think it was just a guy just out of his mind talking.

• 52:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 52:45Speaker 05

  Dude, I get it.

• 52:45Bobby Lee?

  You get it.

• 52:46Andrew Santino?

  I respect it, man.

• 52:47Bobby Lee?

  And I apologize. You don't look like a security guard at a boutique, Soho.

• 52:52Speaker 05

  Honestly, I would have taken that over what you originally said. That's as I am there to secure the...

• 52:56Bobby Lee?

  And I think you were one of the first people to text me when I got hurt.

• 52:59Speaker 05

  When I woke up and I heard about it.

• 53:00Bobby Lee?

  And we have a great relationship.

• 53:02Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 53:02Bobby Lee?

  And that's my bad.

• 53:03Andrew Santino?

  We can start anew.

• 53:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and you know, last week when I went after you?

• 53:07Andrew Santino?

  You did.

• 53:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 05

  Bobby, spring's about to be sprung.

• 53:09Bobby Lee?

  I apologize for that. I was like, not in my right mind.

• 53:12Andrew Santino?

  I don't care. It was actually kind of funny.

• 53:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 53:14Andrew Santino?

  I loved, I actually thought it was very funny. Someone sent me the clip. I was like, that's pretty funny.

• 53:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so, um... So, it's my, I'm the one that needs to change. I'm the wrong.

• 53:25Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 53:25Bobby Lee?

  I'm the bad guy.

• 53:26Speaker 05

  That level of accountability.

• 53:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I, um, I'm ashamed.

• 53:30Speaker 05

  Don't be.

• 53:31Bobby Lee?

  Of the bullshit that I said.

• 53:32Speaker 05

  No, stop. You are entering a new phase in life.

• 53:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:35Speaker 05

  Where you are taking ownership.

• 53:37Bobby Lee?

  I'm trying to figure out if I really believe what I said, so I'm going through that right now. You know what I mean? Just to be honest with you, like, reflect, do I really feel that way? Maybe, maybe not, but, um, I shouldn't have said it out loud.

• 53:49Andrew Santino?

  That's okay.

• 53:50Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you that right now. In fact, I will say this. I do believe what I said. All of it.

• 53:54Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 53:54Bobby Lee?

  But I shouldn't have said it out loud.

• 53:55Andrew Santino?

  Okay, dude.

• 53:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:57Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 53:58Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty good. That was a 180 to a 180. We're right back where we started.

• 54:01Speaker 05

  If you watched a trial with that kind of admit, where he goes, I don't, I'm sorry I killed her, but am I sorry I killed her? Not really, but I am sorry that I did it. I, I felt it and I'm fine for feeling that.

• 54:13Bobby Lee?

  I haven't masturbated in five days.

• 54:14Andrew Santino?

  Well, you, why haven't you jerked off in five days?

• 54:17Bobby Lee?

  I'm trying to or not.

• 54:19Andrew Santino?

  Five days?

• 54:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:21Andrew Santino?

  Five days is a pretty good amount of time.

• 54:22Speaker 05

  When did you notice it? Like, what was the worst day so far? Like today?

• 54:26Bobby Lee?

  Last night I tried to and I couldn't do it.

• 54:28Andrew Santino?

  Four, day four is when I start to get a little itchy.

• 54:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:31Bobby Lee?

  Ari Shaffir told me that, he said this out loud, so I, you know?

• 54:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:35Bobby Lee?

  That he, the way, you know, his girlfriend, great girlfriend.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:39Bobby Lee?

  That the reason he, he met her in the first place is he wasn't masturbating for a long time. And then when that happens, that it motivates you to like, you know, when you meet a girl, they're like, hey, meet us at the bar and you don't go? It motivated him to go.

• 54:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, cause he had four balls.

• 54:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So I think it is a good, um, advice.

• 54:56Andrew Santino?

  Five days though, you, you gotta, you gotta empty it out, man.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, go, go empty the clip.

• 55:00Bobby Lee?

  And maybe that's why I'm acting the way I am today.

• 55:02Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right. That actually explains a lot.

• 55:04Speaker 05

  That is it because you're aggressive. You're being very aggressive.

• 55:07Bobby Lee?

  Very aggressive, right?

• 55:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. You're just horned up, dude.

• 55:09Bobby Lee?

  I'm horned up.

• 55:10Andrew Santino?

  You're a little full.

• 55:10Bobby Lee?

  So Chin, if you're listening, don't start a war with me.

• 55:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude.

• 55:14Bobby Lee?

  I'm horned up. You get what you're saying? Yeah.

• 55:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:17Andrew Santino?

  A guy getting into a fight with another guy, be like, brother, I'm just this way because I'm horny.

• 55:22Speaker 05

  I just realized that, the reason I tried to fight you in that bar is because I have a boner.

• 55:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:27Andrew Santino?

  Out of my mind.

• 55:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so I apologize. And I think people listening get it.

• 55:30Speaker 05

  Oh, huh.

• 55:31Andrew Santino?

  I think they get it.

• 55:32Bobby Lee?

  I think they get it too.

• 55:32Speaker 05

  Any rational person would get it.

• 55:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Now, can I ask you another question? What do you think of, um, Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix?

• 55:41Andrew Santino?

  I know you called me about this. We talked.

• 55:43Speaker 05

  Have you been there?

• 55:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's two sign. He doesn't know Phoenix as well.

• 55:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know.

• 55:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so.

• 55:47Speaker 05

  South on I-10.

• 55:48Bobby Lee?

  So years ago, um, a film critic in New York Times said that that's the best pizza on planet Earth.

• 55:56Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 55:57Bobby Lee?

  And it became a gigantic, you say hours away.

• 55:59Andrew Santino?

  Big planet.

• 56:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and, um.

• 56:01Andrew Santino?

  Big planet to say Earth, dude. That's insane.

• 56:04Bobby Lee?

  And, you know, um, I went there again. It's pretty good.

• 56:09Andrew Santino?

  It's good, dude.

• 56:10Speaker 05

  Is it, is it like, um? Have you had Frank Pepe's in Connecticut?

• 56:15Andrew Santino?

  That's like one of the, that's like the

• 56:16Bobby Lee?

  Why would I go there?

• 56:17Speaker 05

  I don't know, you do a lot of shows.

• 56:19Andrew Santino?

  Connecticut has some of the best pizza.

• 56:20Speaker 05

  They're trying to, like, they're trying to make it that, they're trying to make us-

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  Is Hartford there?

• 56:24Speaker 05

  In Connecticut?

• 56:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:25Speaker 05

  Yeah. But this, but Frank Pepe's is in New Haven.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Hartford, Connecticut, Funny Bone. Um, they just, they were so rude to me. That's why I've never been back.

• 56:34Andrew Santino?

  The club?

• 56:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:35Andrew Santino?

  Or the people that went to the club?

• 56:37Bobby Lee?

  No, the, the staff, the management there.

• 56:39Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 56:40Bobby Lee?

  I did it one weekend there and the manager at the last night, and I'd seen him around all weekend,

• 56:45Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 56:45Bobby Lee?

  finally introduced himself and he was kinda like, here's your check.

• 56:48Speaker 05

  Oh damn.

• 56:49Andrew Santino?

  Maybe he had something going on. He could've had full balls.

• 56:50Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 56:51Andrew Santino?

  What if that guy had full balls?

• 56:52Speaker 05

  Would you have taken it if he was full balls?

• 56:54Bobby Lee?

  No, twice I've been there and they were not nice to me.

• 56:57Andrew Santino?

  Well, he, well, maybe he had full balls twice.

• 57:00Speaker 05

  They can fill up real quick.

• 57:01Bobby Lee?

  Okay. You know what? You're right. Maybe you're right.

• 57:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:05Bobby Lee?

  So Connecticut has the best pizza.

• 57:08Speaker 05

  They tried to, if you ever go to New Haven, you should have Frank Pepe's.

• 57:11Bobby Lee?

  New Haven.

• 57:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:12Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 57:12Bobby Lee?

  Frank Pepe's.

• 57:13Speaker 05

  It's very good.

• 57:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so, um-

• 57:15Speaker 05

  But do you think, so far, do you think Pizza Bianco was the best you've ever had?

• 57:20Bobby Lee?

  I think that, um, it's the best in the top five I've ever had, probably.

• 57:26Andrew Santino?

  Well, okay, let's rank, how about this? This is even more, this is even more, um, cause we got in a good debate about donuts the other week. Let's rank-

• 57:32Speaker 05

  By the way, in Los Angeles, I go to Kettle Glaze every time I'm here.

• 57:36Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:36Speaker 05

  And I went and picked up a half a dozen.

• 57:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you are a little sweet secret sweet boy, huh?

• 57:41Speaker 05

  I'm pretty loud about it. I'm pretty raging.

• 57:43Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna tell you something right now. I think you're going wrong, I think you're going wrong with it. I think you're going wrong with it and I'm gonna convince you otherwise.

• 57:50Speaker 05

  The Kettle Glaze?

• 57:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:52Speaker 05

  The wrong way to go?

• 57:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I would go, have you ever had Sidecar?

• 57:56Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm. We brought them into the studio one time.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  Sidecar.

• 58:00Bobby Lee?

  What do you think of them?

• 58:01Andrew Santino?

  They're good, they're fine.

• 58:02Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 58:04Andrew Santino?

  You know it's not my, it's not my number one.

• 58:05Speaker 05

  Oh, are they like a busy donut?

• 58:07Andrew Santino?

  A busy donut, yes.

• 58:09Bobby Lee?

  Here's, we were talking about this, yeah, yeah.

• 58:10Speaker 05

  Kettle Glaze goes like this, where a donut-

• 58:12Andrew Santino?

  We're, see, that's what I like.

• 58:14Speaker 05

  Okay, like we're a donut wearing a, a fruit hat.

• 58:16Andrew Santino?

  You know what, you know what these are? These are donuts that have, these are, hey, these are single moms now that have been through a divorce. That's who this donut is. It's got too much going on.

• 58:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, you go, you, you don't need all of this. You just need-

• 58:26Bobby Lee?

  But I'm gonna double down now, my friends, okay? And I'm gonna show you something that's gonna blow your minds, if I may.

• 58:32Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:32Andrew Santino?

  Please.

• 58:32Bobby Lee?

  Okay? In Korea-

• 58:35Andrew Santino?

  I'm already out.

• 58:36Speaker 05

  I'm in. I'm in harder.

• 58:39Bobby Lee?

  That's the right answer.

• 58:40Andrew Santino?

  South or north?

• 58:41Speaker 05

  I don't care.

• 58:41Bobby Lee?

  North.

• 58:42Andrew Santino?

  North, yeah, the good side.

• 58:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:45Bobby Lee?

  Look at Kim Jong-un.

• 58:46Andrew Santino?

  Does North Korea-

• 58:46Bobby Lee?

  He loves donuts.

• 58:47Andrew Santino?

  Does North Korea have a similar thing, like Northern Ireland has an up the raw? Like, does North Korea have a fucking chant or anything like that?

• 58:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, "Kilometer gun."

• 58:57Speaker 05

  Or it's like, "It's un-time."

• 58:59Bobby Lee?

  So there's a, they have one now, so this is a Korean company that they have a one in Koreatown. And it's called Old Ferry Donut.

• 59:07Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 59:07Bobby Lee?

  Okay?

• 59:08Andrew Santino?

  That's, that's what we call you.

• 59:11Bobby Lee?

  You know what, dude? That's rude.

• 59:13Andrew Santino?

  You set me up.

• 59:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:15Andrew Santino?

  Old Ferry, old F-E-R-R-Y, like a ferry.

• 59:17Bobby Lee?

  It is the best donut in LA.

• 59:20Andrew Santino?

  Alright, we'll go to Old Ferry.

• 59:21Speaker 05

  Ooh, bitch. Yeah, those pictures, Bobby. You're right. This is it.

• 59:25Bobby Lee?

  Are you being sarcastic?

• 59:27Speaker 05

  No, I'm being 100% for real.

• 59:28Bobby Lee?

  I'm telling you-

• 59:29Speaker 05

  You showed me that first fancy shit, I don't want that. This is, yes.

• 59:33Andrew Santino?

  I wanna rank this. I wanna rank the most, the corporate pizza joints where they go. Cause look, everyone's got their fancy pizza joints. Give me the corporate rankings. Give me Domino's, Pizza Hut, Little Caesar's, give me fucking Sabaro can be thrown in there.

• 59:44Bobby Lee?

  I can tell you.

• 59:45Speaker 05

  Go.

• 59:46Bobby Lee?

  I honestly think Pizza Hut.

• 59:47Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 59:48Andrew Santino?

  Number one.

• 59:49Speaker 05

  Number one is Pizza Hut.

• 59:50Bobby Lee?

  Because the crust is buttery and something about it.

• 59:53Speaker 05

  Also, the way they do their pizza, it stays more of like a pizza. Domino's, they overload you with the fucking dough and the cheese.

• 1:00:01Bobby Lee?

  And your swearing is right for that. They're fucking dough.

• 1:00:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I hate it.

• 1:00:09Andrew Santino?

  I think Little Caesar's is my favorite.

• 1:00:11Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:00:11Andrew Santino?

  Hot, hot and ready, dude. Hot and ready, it's simple. It's simple, Little Caesar's cheese is fine for me.

• 1:00:16Speaker 05

  Cricket, you have a cricket phone?

• 1:00:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Speaker 05

  Who likes Little Caesar's?

• 1:00:21Andrew Santino?

  I, I just like the five dollar-

• 1:00:23Bobby Lee?

  One of their toppings is cancer. I, I, I bet.

• 1:00:26Speaker 05

  It goes Pizza Hut, Domino's-

• 1:00:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:28Speaker 05

  Papa John's.

• 1:00:29Bobby Lee?

  Papa John's.

• 1:00:30Speaker 05

  Pre or post N-word. I don't know, that garlic sauce, you get in the top three with that.

• 1:00:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I like the hot and ready. Just it saved me for a long time in my twenties financially.

• 1:00:39Bobby Lee?

  I think if you ate it now, you would think differently.

• 1:00:42Andrew Santino?

  Because I don't, we don't have that pizza now. That's the problem. I like, I haven't eaten anything like that in a long time.

• 1:00:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but the pizzas, Little Caesar's still around.

• 1:00:49Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:49Andrew Santino?

  Is it?

• 1:00:50Speaker 05

  Dude, what?

• 1:00:51Bobby Lee?

  Every corner. Go to well, Western.

• 1:00:52Speaker 05

  My buddy Matt's kid.

• 1:00:54Andrew Santino?

  I haven't seen Little Caesar's in forever.

• 1:00:55Speaker 05

  My buddy Matt's kid just tried it for the first time like last week and he was like, he says it's the best food he's ever had in his life.

• 1:01:01Andrew Santino?

  I've never seen, we're in Echo Park. Not fucking going over there.

• 1:01:05Speaker 05

  But what if you guys had a Little Caesar's pizza party and it was brought to you?

• 1:01:09Andrew Santino?

  We keep talking about it. They might end up sponsoring the show.

• 1:01:11Bobby Lee?

  So I went to.

• 1:01:12Andrew Santino?

  Pizza, pizza.

• 1:01:13Bobby Lee?

  When I play Chicago improv, sometimes they get me a fresh Lou Malnoli's.

• 1:01:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Bobby Lee?

  It's pretty good.

• 1:01:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's my, that's my, that's, I love Lou.

• 1:01:21Bobby Lee?

  It's pretty good.

• 1:01:22Speaker 05

  It's very good.

• 1:01:23Bobby Lee?

  I like deep, deep dish. I don't care what you feel about it.

• 1:01:26Andrew Santino?

  It's good just for that special occasion. We don't eat it on the regular.

• 1:01:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, but I love it.

• 1:01:30Speaker 05

  It's heavy, it's too heavy for a regular.

• 1:01:32Andrew Santino?

  No, you eat it once in a great while. It's, it's cake.

• 1:01:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, fork and knife.

• 1:01:35Bobby Lee?

  So I had this Filipino family, Kalila's End, come from Philippines one summer. And we went to that deep dish pizza place in Los Villas or Echo Park. Masa. Masa.

• 1:01:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, masa, yeah.

• 1:01:49Bobby Lee?

  Very good.

• 1:01:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 1:01:50Bobby Lee?

  They didn't eat it.

• 1:01:51Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:01:52Bobby Lee?

  They don't know what it is.

• 1:01:53Andrew Santino?

  There wasn't any bugs on it?

• 1:01:54Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:01:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:59Andrew Santino?

  They're like.

• 1:01:59Speaker 05

  There's no cardboard on it.

• 1:02:00Andrew Santino?

  If you shave some tree bark on this, it will be good.

• 1:02:03Speaker 05

  Say when on the tree bark.

• 1:02:07Andrew Santino?

  Can I introduce you to some tree bark?

• 1:02:09Speaker 05

  This is some, uh, this is some oak. We're just gonna shave it on to your.

• 1:02:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:13Andrew Santino?

  Of course they didn't eat it. That's not, they're in their flavor profile. They like, they like spicy. That pizza's a thick, doughy cake pizza.

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  It's just a mushed up tomato.

• 1:02:21Andrew Santino?

  They're not gonna like that.

• 1:02:22Bobby Lee?

  But let me say something to you, y'all. Okay.

• 1:02:26Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:02:27Bobby Lee?

  When I'm in a different country, I just, I'll check all of it out and I'll try it.

• 1:02:32Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're saying they didn't even want to try it?

• 1:02:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Speaker 05

  They didn't even like attempt it?

• 1:02:36Bobby Lee?

  Look at that thing. How would you not try that?

• 1:02:37Speaker 05

  They didn't even take a bite?

• 1:02:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:39Speaker 05

  There was no... That is, that's like you get, I would, I would see myself getting very upset about that.

• 1:02:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, take a bite.

• 1:02:44Speaker 05

  Be like, take a bite.

• 1:02:45Bobby Lee?

  I also made reservations. You guys gotta check out this.

• 1:02:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:49Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:02:49Speaker 05

  You put thought into it?

• 1:02:50Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, dude!

• 1:02:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Andrew Santino?

  What did they end up wanting? They wanted Jolly Bee, right?

• 1:02:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:54Andrew Santino?

  They love Jolly Bee, dude.

• 1:02:56Speaker 05

  What's Jolly Bee?

• 1:02:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're, you're, it's their version of like a chain food restaurant.

• 1:03:00Andrew Santino?

  But it's, but it's, they fucking live and die by this. So much so that like...

• 1:03:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:04Andrew Santino?

  You know, uh, you know, um...

• 1:03:06Bobby Lee?

  But they have spaghetti too. Show, show me Jolly Bee spaghetti.

• 1:03:09Andrew Santino?

  You know, you know Benny Blanco? Do you know who that is?

• 1:03:11Bobby Lee?

  That's their spaghetti.

• 1:03:11Andrew Santino?

  The producer?

• 1:03:12Bobby Lee?

  You know how you, sometimes you're in the mood for spaghetti and a chicken leg?

• 1:03:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, what am I, pregnant? It's fucking wild.

• 1:03:20Andrew Santino?

  Benny Blanco did a video of a food review, I think, at his house and he caught so much shit from Filipino fans for just being like, this isn't good.

• 1:03:28Speaker 05

  Benny Bee?

• 1:03:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but it's so funny how like they take, this is like their shit.

• 1:03:32Bobby Lee?

  But the one in the Philippines that I've been to is, the quality is different. It's better.

• 1:03:37Andrew Santino?

  You think it's just, yeah, it's just...

• 1:03:38Speaker 05

  Do you think it's like, like when you get a Guinness in Ireland, it's just better?

• 1:03:41Andrew Santino?

  That's...

• 1:03:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what it is.

• 1:03:43Andrew Santino?

  I don't know.

• 1:03:44Speaker 05

  That's true. They clean out their lines.

• 1:03:45Andrew Santino?

  I know, but you go to a good spot that serves a good Guinness. There's a couple of good Guinness spots. Cause I, that, you know, that's my beer. I don't really drink beer, but if I'm gonna have a beer, I'm drinking that.

• 1:03:53Speaker 05

  You know, I was the, I was the...

• 1:03:55Andrew Santino?

  Guinness King?

• 1:03:55Speaker 05

  I was the brand ambassador.

• 1:03:57Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 1:03:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what got me out. Julie, you know Julie McCullough?

• 1:04:00Andrew Santino?

  I know, yeah, I know.

• 1:04:01Speaker 05

  He did the Guinness brand ambassador thing and then he quit drinking and they were trying to find a new one and he's like, you should have my buddy Soder do it and, uh...

• 1:04:08Bobby Lee?

  Can I talk about him?

• 1:04:09Speaker 05

  What's that?

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  McCullough?

• 1:04:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:11Andrew Santino?

  You cut off a story, but yeah.

• 1:04:14Speaker 05

  What's up?

• 1:04:14Andrew Santino?

  What's going on? You gonna call him bloated too?

• 1:04:17Bobby Lee?

  Finish your story.

• 1:04:18Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:04:19Speaker 05

  No, I was just saying, I got to go to the, I got to like go, they flew me to Dublin and I got to like, I had to drink Guinness for like two years.

• 1:04:25Andrew Santino?

  The best.

• 1:04:26Speaker 05

  And by the end I was like, get this mud water out of my fucking hand.

• 1:04:30Bobby Lee?

  I love it. See, when he finishes it, we should have cut it off.

• 1:04:35Andrew Santino?

  This guy dude, you're, you're a little hot, hot toddy.

• 1:04:38Speaker 05

  I need, I almost need you to go to the bathroom.

• 1:04:40Bobby Lee?

  I think I have the trick on.

• 1:04:41Speaker 05

  Watch you come back and it's just.

• 1:04:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. In fact, I'm not gonna, you know what, you're right. I would be more mindful about it. I'm not gonna say what I wanna say about Julian McCullough. I think it's another war.

• 1:04:49Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead, let me hear it. You might as well dude, you're starting it up.

• 1:04:52Bobby Lee?

  So when I met him, he used to live in LA.

• 1:04:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I thought, what a handsome fella.

• 1:04:57Andrew Santino?

  He is, yeah.

• 1:04:58Bobby Lee?

  Something happened.

• 1:05:00Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're saying he lost his look?

• 1:05:01Bobby Lee?

  Something happened.

• 1:05:02Speaker 05

  Did you fall out of love with him?

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  Cause he's still handsome. Maybe you fell out of love with him.

• 1:05:08Andrew Santino?

  He's a, he's a pretty good looking guy.

• 1:05:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I guess he's still got it. Okay.

• 1:05:11Andrew Santino?

  What did you think? Did you see him on an off night?

• 1:05:13Bobby Lee?

  I mean, look at, yeah, so when I saw him recently, he's just got older, that's it. Like we all do.

• 1:05:19Speaker 04

  He gained like six pounds is all.

• 1:05:21Speaker 05

  Dude Bobby's like Tim Gunn. He's like, what are you, fat bitch? Look at this gross.

• 1:05:27Bobby Lee?

  No, I loved it.

• 1:05:28Speaker 05

  Ew.

• 1:05:29Bobby Lee?

  What a fantastic.

• 1:05:29Speaker 05

  Julian rules.

• 1:05:30Bobby Lee?

  He's so funny.

• 1:05:31Speaker 05

  He's very, very.

• 1:05:32Bobby Lee?

  I love him. Anyway, um.

• 1:05:33Speaker 05

  And thanks for giving me the Brandon Ambassador job in 2011.

• 1:05:36Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, Julian McCullough.

• 1:05:37Speaker 05

  I got to quit waiting tables because of it.

• 1:05:39Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:05:39Speaker 05

  It was pretty sick.

• 1:05:40Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that great when something like that changes your fucking life?

• 1:05:42Speaker 05

  I mean, changed my life. I bought a laptop. I never, I didn't own a laptop from 2007 to 2011.

• 1:05:48Andrew Santino?

  Slow down.

• 1:05:48Bobby Lee?

  Is Joe Mataris still around?

• 1:05:50Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 1:05:51Bobby Lee?

  You know him?

• 1:05:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know Jim M. Joe Mataris.

• 1:05:53Andrew Santino?

  The first, the first time I made enough money to buy like a new laptop, like a real one, I didn't, I didn't watch porn on it. I was so scared.

• 1:06:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, you don't wanna, yes, you didn't wanna damage it.

• 1:06:02Andrew Santino?

  I didn't wanna hurt her. I'd like keep her in good shape.

• 1:06:04Speaker 05

  No, only emails and videos.

• 1:06:06Andrew Santino?

  For years I was like so afraid. I was like, no, it's gonna fuck it up. And it's the first one I could afford. So no, I'm not gonna fuck it up.

• 1:06:12Speaker 05

  Yes. That's how I felt about my iPhone. First time I got an iPhone, I'm like, I'm watching porn on this thing? And then you're like, oh, you can watch porn on this thing?

• 1:06:18Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:06:18Speaker 05

  That's all I wanted.

• 1:06:19Andrew Santino?

  And now that's all it is for.

• 1:06:20Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:06:20Bobby Lee?

  Dan, um, how are you dealing with the fame?

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  Brother, day by day.

• 1:06:26Andrew Santino?

  He takes it day by day.

• 1:06:28Bobby Lee?

  But do you, do you like it?

• 1:06:29Speaker 05

  I'm not famous. What are you talking about?

• 1:06:31Bobby Lee?

  Do, can I tell you why you are? Because, um, I'm hanging out with somebody. She was, introduced me to these family members.

• 1:06:39Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:06:40Bobby Lee?

  And there was a guy involved and he was like, do you know Dennis Hoda? No, they were white.

• 1:06:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:06:51Speaker 05

  You know what though?

• 1:06:52Bobby Lee?

  You seem to think all the people that hang out with are Asian?

• 1:06:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, I didn't get an accent in all episode. I figured I had to do it now because he talked about it.

• 1:06:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:06:59Speaker 05

  Honestly, at the buzzer nailed it.

• 1:07:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but he is a huge fan of yours.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:07:03Bobby Lee?

  He's like, I love, you know, what's he like? You know what I mean?

• 1:07:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:06Bobby Lee?

  I swear to God. And I'm like, who, Dan? He goes, yeah, what's he like? He seems, he's, I mean, he's biggest fan.

• 1:07:12Andrew Santino?

  He's the man.

• 1:07:12Bobby Lee?

  I've seen people talk about you many times.

• 1:07:14Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:07:15Bobby Lee?

  So there is a level of fame and you know it because when you go to clubs, you sell out, right?

• 1:07:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:19Bobby Lee?

  So how, why, why does that happen?

• 1:07:22Speaker 05

  Because I've been going to cities for years.

• 1:07:23Bobby Lee?

  That's not why. It's because your, your, your, your presence is elevated.

• 1:07:28Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:07:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I mean, you're right. Can we agree with that? So how are you dealing with it?

• 1:07:32Andrew Santino?

  I didn't know who this guy was before he walked in the door.

• 1:07:35Speaker 05

  I just randomly walk in. Can I sit down on your podcast?

• 1:07:38Bobby Lee?

  Also, people that we have on this podcast are people that are elevated.

• 1:07:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:42Bobby Lee?

  So how does it feel?

• 1:07:44Speaker 05

  It feels good. Thank you. By the way, Bobby, I'm sorry.

• 1:07:46Bobby Lee?

  Easy fucking answer, dude.

• 1:07:47Speaker 05

  Just like the way you described me, you went, you went, the, the worst thing with me is, um, me trying to be confident with myself.

• 1:07:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:55Bobby Lee?

  It's hard to, I know.

• 1:07:57Speaker 05

  Shit on me all you want. Bring it on, baby.

• 1:07:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59Speaker 05

  We can have fun. But the second you go like, good job, I go, that's just fucking, it's the hug and step.

• 1:08:03Bobby Lee?

  Why are we like that?

• 1:08:05Speaker 05

  It's the hug and step brothers. Cause it's what, you just said it earlier. It's the bullying that made you funny.

• 1:08:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:10Bobby Lee?

  I'm shocked when people are like, come to my shows and it's sold out or whatever. I always turn to the manager and go, is there some sort of promotion going on? And they go, what do you mean? And I go, I mean, is it a two for one or what's going on? He goes, no, it's regular pricing. You sold out. And I'm always, I look in the audience and I go, wow.

• 1:08:27Speaker 05

  I've told this story before on, uh, on the regs, but I was working the blue room in Springfield, Missouri.

• 1:08:32Bobby Lee?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:33Speaker 05

  And I drove from Kansas City to Springfield and I had a bunch of texts and people were like, they were like, dude, the club's running a special where if they buy tickets to you, they're entered into a raffle to see Matt Rife. And like so many comics texted me, screen grabbed it and sent it to me. They're like,

• 1:08:50Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:08:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, they were like-

• 1:08:52Andrew Santino?

  Same audience.

• 1:08:53Speaker 05

  They were like, they were like, "Hey, buy tickets to this fucking ogre and then maybe you can see Matt Rife." And it works.

• 1:09:00Bobby Lee?

  It worked? Wow, yeah.

• 1:09:01Speaker 05

  My ticket sales were dog shit and there were people there and it was, it was pretty wild.

• 1:09:05Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow, wow.

• 1:09:05Speaker 05

  That's like where you're like, "Oh, so you guys are running around." Okay, and then when it really happens, you go, "Phew."

• 1:09:13Andrew Santino?

  First time I played the Mall of America.

• 1:09:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, House of Comedy.

• 1:09:16Andrew Santino?

  Dude, maybe 20 people, maybe, and that's like a 500-seat room.

• 1:09:19Bobby Lee?

  That's a har- that's a full circle moment, though, taping your special in Minneapolis.

• 1:09:23Andrew Santino?

  That was pretty cool. That wa- it wa- it was really cool. It was, that one hurt a lot, though, the mall, because you walk in-

• 1:09:29Speaker 05

  It's a big room, too.

• 1:09:29Andrew Santino?

  And you have to walk into the mall before you go to a club, which hurts you twice.

• 1:09:33Bobby Lee?

  It's also top floor.

• 1:09:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you have to pass it.

• 1:09:35Bobby Lee?

  You have to go up escalators and elevators.

• 1:09:37Speaker 05

  And honestly, that Jamba Juice is doing some heavy lifting.

• 1:09:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there's a boat with it.

• 1:09:40Speaker 05

  I'm getting an Orange Dream Machine and then I'm going upstairs and just-

• 1:09:44Andrew Santino?

  By the way, it's an Orange Julius now. I'm just kidding, I don't know.

• 1:09:48Bobby Lee?

  I'm glad you said that, because that was my worst turnout of all time.

• 1:09:52Andrew Santino?

  I got, I ate you.

• 1:09:52Bobby Lee?

  The Mall of America.

• 1:09:53Speaker 05

  Oh, my god, dude.

• 1:09:54Andrew Santino?

  And I, and I just, I can see an image of me, like a Paul Thomas Anderson shot of me, like going down the escalator when it's over, passing like the guy at Journeys, like turning off the lights.

• 1:10:02Speaker 05

  Shutting the cage?

• 1:10:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like, yeah, dude, it hur- it hurts so much when you like have to do that, but it makes you a great comic. And to piggyback what you're saying, not to be a sappy fuckhead, but I thank every, every set now, I've been thanking the fans and I did it every night at the special, because it does mean the world to me that they show up. I think it's so dope that they come out. It's, dude, it, it never has made me go, "Yep, knew it." Every time I go out, I go, "Wow, dude, thank you, unreal, amazing."

• 1:10:32Bobby Lee?

  Do you have-

• 1:10:33Andrew Santino?

  But there's a couple of comics we know, you know, that are like, "I knew it was gonna be this way."

• 1:10:38Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 1:10:40Bobby Lee?

  I do get resentments, though, of clubs. That didn't treat you well.

• 1:10:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:46Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And then now you won't play them?

• 1:10:48Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:10:49Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:49Speaker 05

  I got a couple.

• 1:10:49Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean? Totally.

• 1:10:50Speaker 05

  I got a couple.

• 1:10:51Bobby Lee?

  Is that right, though? Is that healthy?

• 1:10:52Andrew Santino?

  That's like if any, if any regular person at, at, at your regular job at home, whatever job that you work, if someone treated you poorly in your customer route, and then you started doing well on, on some other version of your job, and then those customers wanted to come back, you'd be like, get fucked.

• 1:11:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:07Bobby Lee?

  The clubs I play now are the clubs are necessarily, not because of the draw, but it's because they treated me when I was down.

• 1:11:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:15Bobby Lee?

  So when I talked about Hartford, Connecticut, at that Funny Bone, I was down then.

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:20Bobby Lee?

  Right? And I just want people to be regular and nice.

• 1:11:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, when they're, when they're, when they're good to you and they don't have a reason to be.

• 1:11:27Bobby Lee?

  I, I have loyalty.

• 1:11:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're like, oh, cool, then I'll come back. You know, like.

• 1:11:32Andrew Santino?

  They used to be good to me, by the way. I, I'm not saying not change, but when I was doing those House of Comedies.

• 1:11:36Speaker 05

  There, yeah.

• 1:11:37Andrew Santino?

  And Bronson's rooms, they, they were always good to me.

• 1:11:39Bobby Lee?

  Edmonton's great.

• 1:11:40Speaker 05

  Now, that's where we might differ.

• 1:11:42Andrew Santino?

  Oh, really? Oh, you got clipped out there.

• 1:11:44Speaker 05

  There might be a reason why I don't

• 1:11:48Speaker 05

  use them as a club chain anymore. Oh, I fucking, you want to talk about one of my worst weekends of my life?

• 1:11:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:55Speaker 05

  Was the, that fucking club, House of Comedy in Scottsdale.

• 1:11:58Bobby Lee?

  Scottsdale.

• 1:11:58Speaker 05

  In Scottsdale, because you know.

• 1:11:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's north, north Scottsdale.

• 1:12:00Speaker 05

  It's north Scottsdale.

• 1:12:01Andrew Santino?

  That's a ridge.

• 1:12:02Speaker 05

  Dude, at a point, it looked like a moon base. When you drive up and you'd be like, there's nothing, it looks like Mars.

• 1:12:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:09Speaker 05

  And I just ate shit.

• 1:12:12Bobby Lee?

  Every night.

• 1:12:12Speaker 05

  So bad.

• 1:12:13Bobby Lee?

  Is that 12 years ago again?

• 1:12:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's 2000, yeah, this is 2013, 2014.

• 1:12:18Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow.

• 1:12:19Speaker 05

  Uh, there, I think Edmonton happened like 2016, 2017. This is like 2014, I remember specifically, I called Gary Goldman and Gary Goldman was like, just do your best stuff, keep your head down, get through the weekend.

• 1:12:31Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:31Speaker 05

  Because it was just, it was fucking eating.

• 1:12:34Andrew Santino?

  I'll tell you why, though. From a socio-economic standpoint, you're not that kind of, that's not your crowd.

• 1:12:41Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:12:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, this is like retirees, this is a lot of like old couples.

• 1:12:45Speaker 05

  God.

• 1:12:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, this is.

• 1:12:46Speaker 05

  I also have like some resentment for Arizona, because like you went to school there.

• 1:12:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:50Speaker 05

  You know, we both went to school there, and you kind of come back and you're like, you weren't that nice to me.

• 1:12:54Bobby Lee?

  You were so mean to me.

• 1:12:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, you go like.

• 1:12:56Bobby Lee?

  What are you doing to me?

• 1:12:57Speaker 05

  Come back and you're like.

• 1:12:58Bobby Lee?

  Hold on to those things, huh?

• 1:12:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're like, I couldn't get pussy for shit at this school. And now I'm coming back and being like, but, but I, I'm doing a show in Tucson this fall, I'm very excited. I haven't been back to Tucson in like fucking years.

• 1:13:09Andrew Santino?

  Plug it, by the way, you playing the school?

• 1:13:11Speaker 05

  No, no, no, no, I don't know what venue you were doing yet, but we're setting it up.

• 1:13:15Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever played at school?

• 1:13:16Speaker 05

  No, I have zero interest.

• 1:13:17Andrew Santino?

  One day, one day I want to play ASU. I don't know why, because I think Schwartzman played there when I was in school.

• 1:13:22Speaker 05

  That's awesome.

• 1:13:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, he was fucking.

• 1:13:24Speaker 05

  I want to do the Rialto because that's where I saw Chappelle in Tucson.

• 1:13:27Andrew Santino?

  That's sick.

• 1:13:28Speaker 05

  During the Blackzilla, season one of Chappelle's Show. It was a fucking.

• 1:13:31Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:13:32Speaker 05

  Without a doubt, one of the greatest live stand-up shows I've ever seen in my life. Guy did like seventy, came back out, did twenty on court.

• 1:13:38Andrew Santino?

  Get fucked.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  Get fucked. Ripping it. I hate that.

• 1:13:41Andrew Santino?

  We're doing twenty-six, tops.

• 1:13:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:43Andrew Santino?

  Bring up Soder's dates. If you want to see Dan Soder on tour, he's on tour right now, uh, here in February, uh, March, April, May. He's everywhere, his Balboa Theater down there in San Diego.

• 1:13:54Speaker 05

  So Richmond, Virginia, I'm gonna be at the Funny Bone, April 4th and 5th. And then in Spokane, Comedy Club, May 1st through the 3rd. We got a big announcement coming up with a bunch of shows that I'm gonna hopefully be dropping very soon.

• 1:14:08Andrew Santino?

  That are not on this list, huh?

• 1:14:09Speaker 05

  That are not listed.

• 1:14:10Andrew Santino?

  Are you doing like a skank thing?

• 1:14:11Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:14:12Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:14:12Speaker 05

  I'm doing like a tour.

• 1:14:14Andrew Santino?

  With a bunch of other guys?

• 1:14:16Speaker 05

  No, by myself.

• 1:14:18Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:14:18Speaker 05

  Big boy shit.

• 1:14:19Andrew Santino?

  All right, big dog.

• 1:14:20Speaker 05

  Put on some big pants.

• 1:14:21Andrew Santino?

  Well, go to dan soder dot com if you do want to go see one of the funniest comedians we know touring across the country. We love you. Dan, look at that camera, say thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:14:31Speaker 05

  Thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:14:33Andrew Santino?

  God, your voice is so good.