How Jeff Arcuri Went From Comedy Clubs to Netflix | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series presented by Fanduel. Andrew Santino sits down with comedian Jeff Arcuri to talk stand-up, crowd work, going viral, suddenly getting recognized everywhere, and what happens when years of grinding in comedy turn into millions of people watching you talk to strangers on the internet. Jeff has become one of the biggest names in crowd work, but there's a lot more to his comedy than roasting people in the front row. His new Netflix special, Nice to Meet You, mixes the quick crowd interaction fans know him for with personal stories and brand-new stand-up. Watch Jeff Arcuri: Nice to Meet You, streaming now on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/82032506 Check out Jeff and sign up for tour updates: https://www.jeffarcuri.com Follow Jeff Arcuri: https://www.instagram.com/jeffarcuri Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #JeffArcuri #NiceToMeetYou =============================================== This episode is sponsored by: FANDUEL Get ready for big games, bigger Saturdays, and your most rewarding season ever. only on FanDuel. http://fanduel.com/whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:03Andrew Santino?

  Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series presented by FanDuel. Hey there kiddos. October is almost here and I am going to be performing with Dave Chappelle in Mesa, Arizona at Sloan Park where the Chicago Cubs Spring Train. Man, oh man, am I excited. I'm opening up for Dave Chappelle, October 18th. Come out and see me Mesa. AndrewSantino.com for those tickets, AndrewSantino.com.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:34Speaker 03

  You're that creature in the ginger beard.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Sturdy and ginger.

• 1:38Speaker 04

  Like Vezz, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 1:40Speaker 05

  Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers.

• 1:52Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people in the world. I say that for all my guests by the name of once again today, it's Jeff Arcuri. Arcuri.

• 1:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:00Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that the way to say it?

• 2:00Speaker 06

  Actually, technically, the way you're supposed to pronounce it. Then nobody's ever done that before.

• 2:05Andrew Santino?

  I know, well, no one should. That was so dumb.

• 2:07Speaker 06

  It is dumb.

• 2:07Andrew Santino?

  Jeff Arcuri.

• 2:08Speaker 06

  I had like an old time man call to me, he goes, "This is the Arcuri."

• 2:11Andrew Santino?

  Arcuri.

• 2:11Speaker 06

  It's never gonna be that for me.

• 2:12Andrew Santino?

  Jeff Arcuri. No, it's Jeff Arcuri, but.

• 2:15Speaker 06

  Arcuri.

• 2:15Andrew Santino?

  Arcuri.

• 2:16Speaker 06

  Like Fury.

• 2:16Andrew Santino?

  That's how white people say it. Arcuri. Arcuri.

• 2:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, Arcuri.

• 2:20Andrew Santino?

  Arcuri. Well, cheers to the Arcuri.

• 2:22Speaker 06

  Cheers, man.

• 2:23Andrew Santino?

  Cheers, we're drinking a little bit of Blantons today on the show. Just a little bit of sip sap for the afternoon.

• 2:27Speaker 06

  Daytime whisk.

• 2:28Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:32Andrew Santino?

  I haven't had enough of that recently.

• 2:33Speaker 06

  Oh, man.

• 2:34Andrew Santino?

  Pretty good.

• 2:35Speaker 06

  That's great.

• 2:36Andrew Santino?

  It'll do something to you, right? Make you feel alive.

• 2:40Speaker 06

  Oh, that trickle down of like, that heat, you know, is so great.

• 2:44Andrew Santino?

  That's why you gotta drink it when you're stuck on a mountaintop somewhere. That's why they had those St. Bernards with whiskey on there. St. Bernards, is that what it was?

• 2:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, but isn't that, wasn't that like a myth or something? That like, when the Titanic was sinking, they would drink? Like, the guy was like, "I'm gonna take this drink to warm up." But it actually, it makes you think you're warmer, but you're not.

• 3:01Andrew Santino?

  Well, who would know? I mean, they're all dead.

• 3:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's true.

• 3:03Andrew Santino?

  Couldn't make up anything with Titanic.

• 3:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, they didn't have pods.

• 3:05Andrew Santino?

  They were having an orgy on the top deck, I heard, when it was sinking. It's a massive orgy. No, I didn't know who. Fucking, they're all dead. They're all dead, they're all dead. No one knows.

• 3:12Speaker 06

  Some people lived.

• 3:13Andrew Santino?

  Who lived?

• 3:14Speaker 06

  Rose.

• 3:17Andrew Santino?

  But she didn't save Jack, would've never gone down like that. I'm like, babe, move over, this is crazy. It's a huge door. You're a tiny girl, let me on the raft.

• 3:26Speaker 06

  Isn't it nuts that Cameron did do an experiment? Where he actually had people do an experiment in freezing temperatures to see if they could fit? And then at the end, he's like, "Yeah, I guess he could've."

• 3:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we could've been on there.

• 3:36Speaker 06

  I'm like, what a waste of money that.

• 3:38Andrew Santino?

  Nah, but that's very cool. Yeah, you might as well try. Figure out, well, because everyone on the internet's gotten something to say about it, no matter what it is. Everyone will have something to say about everything. And you know what they're saying right now? To go watch.

• 3:49Speaker 06

  Nice to meet you.

• 3:50Andrew Santino?

  Now on Netflix right now.

• 3:51Speaker 06

  Hell yeah, dude.

• 3:52Andrew Santino?

  Go watch his new special. He, uh, where did you tape that? You taped it, I just saw.

• 3:55Speaker 06

  Celebrity Theater.

• 3:56Andrew Santino?

  Celebrity Theater.

• 3:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, the Phoenix, the round.

• 3:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I knew, I knew, because I'm an Arizona State guy, so I was like, it was in Phoenix, but I don't remember where.

• 4:02Speaker 06

  Have you, have you done that venue?

• 4:04Andrew Santino?

  No, I've done, I don't remember the name of the places that we've done down there. There's a couple of theaters that we've done down there. Never the round, we've only done the, um...

• 4:11Speaker 06

  Phoenix Live, the live, Stand Up Live there is really good.

• 4:14Andrew Santino?

  That's a club, that's a great, it's a great club.

• 4:15Speaker 06

  It's like a 500-seater.

• 4:16Andrew Santino?

  It's a good club. We did the theater down there, and I don't remember what it was called. I'm not good at that, dude.

• 4:21Speaker 06

  Oh, never.

• 4:21Andrew Santino?

  I don't remember.

• 4:22Speaker 06

  Do you have you, so that, is that, you ever had that where you like pull into a theater and they're like, so it's, it's the Capri Gis Theater? And you're like, "Yeah, man."

• 4:30Andrew Santino?

  Cool.

• 4:31Speaker 06

  And then you see, and then they're like, "You know, fucking Nora Bell was here in 1902." And you're like, "Oh shit, yeah." But then I feel bad, because then I've done ones where other comics are like, "Yeah, it's fucking awesome, dude." Like the one in Nashville, uh...

• 4:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, The Ryman.

• 4:45Speaker 06

  Ryman.

• 4:46Andrew Santino?

  No, The Ryman is the one that you should know.

• 4:47Speaker 06

  I had no clue. I had no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:50Andrew Santino?

  That's different. The Ryman is kind of like a piece of history, like, you know, one of the nine pantagios that exist around the, around the country. There's like in every city, there's a pantagios, or there's a, uh, what's the other one we do all the time? Like an orpheum, there's one in every city. What was the one we did in Phoenix?

• 5:04Speaker 05

  Arizona Financial Theater.

• 5:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh, the Arizona Financial, yeah.

• 5:07Speaker 06

  Oh, the AFT.

• 5:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, big old AFT, dude. Which I don't even, I know, I know, I mean, that was, it was a, that was big, that was a big fuck off.

• 5:14Speaker 05

  Yes, it's big.

• 5:15Andrew Santino?

  It was huge. But that was fun. I love it down there, though, dude. Why Phoenix? What'd you do for, why Phoenix?

• 5:20Speaker 06

  I just did, I did a two-show, one night there on like a southwest run, at like Albuquerque and shit. And that was the last one we had, and we had rough shows before that. Like, it was just like venues you didn't want to do. Like, you're like, "Oh, this is a bigger venue, we're gonna move you to this," which is great. And then you go there and it's like a conference room. And I'm like, "I would've rather done the more shows at a club," you know, than this. And this last one we went to, it was that, we did a three-quarter round. So they had like a wall up on one of the parts of the octagon or whatever. And I fell in love with it. I was like, I didn't want to get offstage. And then I did the second show, it had more fun. And I called my agent and I go, "If and when, it's gotta be here."

• 5:57Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 5:58Speaker 06

  And that was a year later, less than a year later, we were there taping it.

• 6:00Andrew Santino?

  Had people taped there before?

• 6:02Speaker 06

  Yeah. Tony taped his there. It's a hinge club.

• 6:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, same spot.

• 6:05Speaker 06

  Same exact theater, a month before me.

• 6:07Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 6:07Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:08Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 6:08Speaker 06

  Yeah, he was there exactly one month, and my special came out exactly one month after his. Tom Segura did his, George Carlin, Nate Bargatze, they've all done, taped this. I know.

• 6:17Andrew Santino?

  Yes, I never know. I don't know where people do any of their stuff. And I hear it, by the way, I'll forget it tomorrow.

• 6:21Speaker 06

  Well, they also, mine, mine, I think it was a little more prevalent because I had the audience load up more. So you saw how round it was, you saw the stacks of people.

• 6:28Andrew Santino?

  Well, you chat with them, so you want to see, you gotta be able to see them.

• 6:30Speaker 06

  I still regret how much you see them, because I'm like, I never really went that far back into the crowd.

• 6:34Andrew Santino?

  Who cares?

• 6:35Speaker 06

  And I do, watching the V1 and watching, like, I, we cut one of the cuts that we made on the special was because I was like doing a part where I'm talking about my wife, like solemnly, and a woman in the back, behind me, you just see her go like, "Yeah." Like that, and I'm like, "Cut, we gotta cut this. I'm not gonna, I can't use it." And then, so that, that's the thing I didn't think about, was the people behind you not laughing, because they're not even seeing you. They're getting the worst show.

• 7:00Andrew Santino?

  That's tough.

• 7:00Speaker 06

  And there's one the audiences can see.

• 7:01Andrew Santino?

  The rounds are a little bit tough, that's, but that's what you get. If you want that kind of experience, you're gonna pay for the other side.

• 7:06Speaker 06

  I, I took a risk with it. And, you know, at the time, I kind of freaked out afterwards, where I'm like, "Maybe I shouldn't have done this." But I'm glad I did, I'm glad I took the risk. But I think the next one I'd probably do, like, the VU at the Cellar, the Village of the Round. I would do something a little more simple.

• 7:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I think I want to do one, what did, Branford did it in her mom's living room, remember that?

• 7:23Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:24Andrew Santino?

  It was like just her and her parents, I thought, so I was like, "This is hilarious."

• 7:26Speaker 06

  We've all done corporates.

• 7:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 06

  You know what I mean?

• 7:29Andrew Santino?

  I want to do a truck stop, that'd be really nice. A little truck stop.

• 7:32Speaker 06

  Have you done any of those, uh, like where it's, like, you know how they have, like, there's some people are doing like comedy in the office while people are working and they're behind them doing jokes? Like, have you done a show like that where it's?

• 7:43Andrew Santino?

  No, I've just done, I've done some just miserable corporate gigs. I did, you know, I've talked about the Jim Beam one that I did. It was me and Gary Vider and, uh, Alonso Boat, and Joe McHale hosted it. And, um, Jim Beam just got acquired by Suntory Whiskey. So we thought it was gonna be Jim Beam, like, good old boys. But it was all Japanese dudes, like, in business suits. Tough, tough, tough, tough.

• 8:04Speaker 06

  Some would say the opposite.

• 8:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 06

  Holy shit.

• 8:06Andrew Santino?

  Cutting into steaks.

• 8:08Speaker 06

  Oh, no.

• 8:09Andrew Santino?

  In round tables, you know, and like the round traditional, like, you know, like wedding dinner tables and... That was miserable. One of the worst 15 minutes I've ever done. Gary Vider was like, "You okay, man?" I was like, "Not really, dude, that was..."

• 8:20Speaker 06

  It's rough.

• 8:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it sucked, dude. It was terrible, but whatever, the check clears and then, and then you're like, "Well, I'm never gonna do that again." And then they call next year and they're like, "You want to do that again?" You're like, "You bet." "I'll be there, dude, I'll be there, so excited."

• 8:32Speaker 06

  Silverware at comedy shows.

• 8:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, eating, eating is tough, you know, that's, the Comedy Store introduced food, you know, it used to just be knickknacks. Now they, now they do like pizza, but they don't do like wings and they just do pizza, which is fine. But I liked it more when there's no food at all. Like Cellar's no food.

• 8:50Speaker 06

  They get food.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  Do they?

• 8:51Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:51Andrew Santino?

  I never see food down there.

• 8:52Speaker 06

  You don't, because they, I think.

• 8:54Andrew Santino?

  They just highly discourage it?

• 8:55Speaker 06

  I don't know, but I've seen nachos being brought down the stairs a few times.

• 8:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, really? I feel like every time in there, no one's eating. Maybe people are afraid to eat because it's so tiny.

• 9:03Speaker 06

  And, well, you're also doing good prime time spots. Like, those are people going out for the night that planned that a month ago.

• 9:08Andrew Santino?

  They wanted comedy, yeah.

• 9:09Speaker 06

  You know, they're not going, you go to a 1 a.m. show, those people are housing, just.

• 9:12Andrew Santino?

  Well, McDougal's also so small. If you're in the front, it's tough to eat. VU, you can hide in the back and eat, right? I don't really, you can't really see anybody back there, so I don't know. But in the front couple of rows, people are pretty scared to eat, because they're.

• 9:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 9:23Andrew Santino?

  You're lit up pretty heavily.

• 9:24Speaker 06

  You get people doing this, too, when you like, when you crack a joke. You don't get their laughter, because their mouth is full. You get the, you get the.

• 9:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're nodding. Yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 06

  Funny. That's the worst.

• 9:35Andrew Santino?

  But it's a good, it's a good, it's a great room, that's why I like it. But the store, the store and the food is, uh, they're pretty good about holding it off, because, you know, when I first started doing the improv runs, it's full meals. You got someone with like a three-course meal, and you're like, good god, dude.

• 9:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude, I hate the sound of a spoon hitting porcelain, like soup. I did City Wineries when I started selling tickets, because I didn't want to do like the bare minimum for the club. I was like, I'm selling tickets, I want to get some money. So like, City Wineries is the only one that's giving me some at the door. And just the amount of times I get on stage, and just full charcuterie coming out.

• 10:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 06

  Soup.

• 10:06Andrew Santino?

  Soup.

• 10:07Speaker 06

  Soup at a comedy show is fucking crazy.

• 10:09Andrew Santino?

  Soup, get a lot of soup out there.

• 10:11Speaker 06

  I was losing my mind. I was like, I can't do these anymore. I can't do soup shows.

• 10:13Andrew Santino?

  From now, you hate soup from this day forward.

• 10:15Speaker 06

  I have not, I haven't, I don't even touch cereal anymore, dude.

• 10:18Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 10:18Speaker 06

  It's too soup-adjacent.

• 10:20Andrew Santino?

  That's fun. When was the last time I had a bowl of cereal? That's funny you say that, Mike, because we had, we had nieces, uh, nieces at the house, and they had cereal, and I thought, no, I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal, and I haven't had cereal in a long time.

• 10:29Speaker 06

  I love it.

• 10:30Andrew Santino?

  I used to love it.

• 10:30Speaker 06

  I love it still. Granola, like a sugary granola cereal. I'm like a little kid.

• 10:34Andrew Santino?

  That's your go-to?

• 10:35Speaker 06

  I'm reading, yeah.

• 10:35Andrew Santino?

  Of all the cereals?

• 10:36Speaker 06

  Wegmans, or the oat and granola cereal.

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  What about, what if, what if you're gonna do like a sugary shit one? Like a?

• 10:44Speaker 06

  Oh, Fruity Pebbles.

• 10:45Andrew Santino?

  Fruity Pebbles, that's good.

• 10:45Speaker 06

  Fruity Pebbles, uh, I would get the rainbow and the chocolate, and I would eat both boxes.

• 10:50Andrew Santino?

  Rainbow, guy's homophobic. Did you hear that? He gets rid of the rainbow, does not support.

• 10:53Speaker 06

  No, I'd eat it. I'd consume it.

• 10:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you love it.

• 10:56Speaker 06

  In my cocksucker.

• 10:56Andrew Santino?

  He's an ally, he's an ally. Gargles that thing down, he's an ally.

• 11:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, no one gives.

• 11:01Andrew Santino?

  Only rainbows.

• 11:02Speaker 06

  No one gives Fruity Pebbles for just consistently being pride-adjacent, like.

• 11:07Andrew Santino?

  They've done it since day one.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  Day one, they were just gay.

• 11:09Andrew Santino?

  It's called fruity.

• 11:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:10Andrew Santino?

  Fruity Pebbles, and their mascot, uh, their mascot was RuPaul for a couple of years, which was very interesting.

• 11:16Speaker 06

  Is that real?

• 11:16Andrew Santino?

  No, brother, no chance.

• 11:17Speaker 06

  You, you, but you, you look, he confirms it.

• 11:20Andrew Santino?

  I know, that's the part of the bit.

• 11:21Speaker 06

  Whoa. Really?

• 11:23Andrew Santino?

  I throw to him, he nods, you go, holy shit.

• 11:25Speaker 06

  It wasn't, it was so subtle, that I'm like, I don't even think he saw me, look at him nod. But there was a.

• 11:30Andrew Santino?

  He's a big purveyor of, uh, of gay nightclubs, so he, I always nod. If it's that world, you know, he'll, he's a great guy.

• 11:37Speaker 06

  You're quick to jump to that one.

• 11:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 11:39Speaker 07

  I mean, that'd be fun, a RuPaul-like kind of situation.

• 11:41Andrew Santino?

  RuPaul collab, yeah. The RuPaul collab, you get, you get the, uh, what is that show? Why can't I think of the name of the show?

• 11:47Speaker 07

  Drag Race.

• 11:48Andrew Santino?

  Drag Race, yeah, Drag, Special Edition Drag Race, Fruity Pebbles. Why wouldn't they do that?

• 11:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:51Andrew Santino?

  Marketing, get on that.

• 11:53Speaker 06

  She's outside the door.

• 11:54Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 11:54Speaker 07

  They're already reading the kids.

• 11:55Andrew Santino?

  Alright, Carlos. See, see what he does here? He just like interjects nonsense. Shut up, dude.

• 12:00Speaker 07

  Turn it down.

• 12:01Andrew Santino?

  Turn it down. Turn it down. Alright, so what, I asked you beforehand, because I liked your, I liked the face on the watch, it looked very pretty, and you said, I gotta get a fix in Detroit, but you're, you're, you know from Detroit, but family is all living there now?

• 12:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, so my parents like met on a cruise, and my mom's family lives in Michigan. My dad.

• 12:17Andrew Santino?

  What are we talking?

• 12:18Speaker 06

  It was, uh.

• 12:19Andrew Santino?

  Like a carnival?

• 12:21Speaker 06

  I, I don't even know. No, my mom was on a cruise, my dad was on vacation. They met at On Land.

• 12:25Andrew Santino?

  On Land, yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 06

  When my dad, my mom says she walked into a busy restaurant, and my dad was sitting there with his buddy, or sorry, it was an empty restaurant, it was only my dad and his friend, and he goes, we saved you guys a seat. And then she sat down with her friend, and then the rest was, they got married.

• 12:37Andrew Santino?

  That's where you came from.

• 12:38Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:38Andrew Santino?

  Cruise baby.

• 12:39Speaker 06

  Yep. Well, no, no, I had two sisters, they waited. I was, I'm On Land.

• 12:43Andrew Santino?

  Okay, you're a land kid, okay.

• 12:44Speaker 06

  I'm a land baby, dude.

• 12:45Andrew Santino?

  Land baby.

• 12:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, but then my mom's family lives in Michigan, my dad was sick in New York, and we just moved, like, we moved all of us to, to like the woods in Michigan, and I hate, I don't like Michigan. Like, the, I don't like suburban, quiet subdivision life.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 13:00Speaker 06

  And all my sisters, like, my sisters all bought houses near my mom, and that freaked me the fuck out, and I just got out, went to Chicago.

• 13:06Andrew Santino?

  And then where, where from, then Chicago to New York?

• 13:08Speaker 06

  New York, yeah.

• 13:09Andrew Santino?

  How long did you live in Chicago?

• 13:09Speaker 06

  Five years.

• 13:10Andrew Santino?

  Where'd you live?

• 13:11Speaker 06

  Uh, Boys Town. Yeah, dude, yeah.

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  The Fruity Pebbles, dude.

• 13:15Speaker 06

  There's nothing wrong with a little ego boost on the way to the laugh factor, you know?

• 13:19Andrew Santino?

  Hey bitch.

• 13:21Speaker 06

  And then they'd say something.

• 13:22Andrew Santino?

  Yes, dude, that's your lead out.

• 13:26Andrew Santino?

  That's fucking great. And then Chicago, you left because you were like, I gotta get more time, I gotta go to New York.

• 13:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's funny, I think every time you start doing, like, every time it gets easy, is when I wanted to change something. Like, Michigan, I was like, Connie's going well. Oh, gotta get the fuck out of here. Chicago, I was like, man, I'm really feeling the scene, like, I feel like I'm somebody here. Gotta get the fuck out of here. And then New York, like, that's where I knew I ended up wanting to be, I should end up.

• 13:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:49Speaker 06

  So I just wanted to get to that as quick as possible.

• 13:51Andrew Santino?

  In New York, you're never anybody, no matter how big you are, that's the best part about New York.

• 13:54Speaker 06

  I love it, I love.

• 13:55Andrew Santino?

  Keeps you way down there.

• 13:56Speaker 06

  That's why I think my favorite part of the Comedy Cellar is the fact that I'm going in there, and, and, and nobody's going there to see usually a specific comedian.

• 14:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're going to see comedy.

• 14:04Speaker 06

  They're going to see comedy as a tourist to New York City, so you're just getting the people that will buy tickets potentially later on.

• 14:09Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 14:10Speaker 06

  And it's, you're getting a real vibe of what the jokes are like.

• 14:12Andrew Santino?

  So you don't like this, you're saying you don't like this suburban lifestyle, but what about when you guys end, end up having kids and all that stuff, you're gonna, you're gonna stay in the city?

• 14:19Speaker 06

  We already bought a house in Brooklyn.

• 14:20Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you did? So you're gonna stay in the city?

• 14:22Speaker 06

  So we live, we're, I'm, we're gonna live in Brooklyn, but thirty-five minutes.

• 14:25Andrew Santino?

  Yes, you're, you're not in, you're not way deep in Long Island.

• 14:28Speaker 06

  No.

• 14:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 06

  No, we got, it is a standalone house, the yard, so that's pretty cool.

• 14:31Andrew Santino?

  Nice.

• 14:32Speaker 06

  Very excited about that, but it is like, that is our, the compromise. She wants the more calm lifestyle, my wife.

• 14:38Andrew Santino?

  Sure, yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 06

  But I'm like, I can't, I have, I can't not take a train or walk to the Cellar. I'm not driving over a bridge to go to the Cellar every single night for the next ten years.

• 14:45Andrew Santino?

  Well, you gotta take a train to the Cellar still.

• 14:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, but it's all on foot.

• 14:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 06

  I don't mind the train, dude, I can look at my phone. That's the only thing I don't like about L.A. is the, uh,

• 14:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, we, I love, I love it.

• 14:56Speaker 06

  Fuck, I have to pull over, or.

• 14:57Andrew Santino?

  Nah, voice text.

• 14:58Speaker 06

  One-handed, oh, yeah, it's true.

• 14:59Andrew Santino?

  No, I always text and drive. What's it, what are you gonna do? Kill someone, big deal. There's so many people out here, man.

• 15:04Speaker 06

  Anyways.

• 15:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 15:07Andrew Santino?

  Dude, can't wait. You saw Tony Romo just get pulled over, did you see that video? Do you have any drinks? He's like, nope. Where'd you come from? Golf course? She was like, step out.

• 15:16Speaker 06

  Oh, no.

• 15:17Andrew Santino?

  She knew right away, it was so funny. Like, nobody goes to a golf course and doesn't have one drink. Unless you don't drink. But if you have one, you do. Do you golf, or no?

• 15:24Speaker 06

  I have, I don't.

• 15:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's hard to do for, if you live in the city, it's hard.

• 15:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, I used to, I took a college class on golfing. I took, one of the college courses I could take was.

• 15:33Andrew Santino?

  A college course was golfing?

• 15:34Speaker 06

  Community.

• 15:35Andrew Santino?

  Ah, yeah.

• 15:36Speaker 06

  But it was like, they're like, you just kind of work on your short game all day, and I was like, that's pretty sick. And that's when I got into golf, and then I, I couldn't.

• 15:41Andrew Santino?

  What community college you go to?

• 15:43Speaker 06

  Michigan, McComb.

• 15:45Andrew Santino?

  Tiny, tiny.

• 15:46Speaker 06

  Are you gonna be like?

• 15:47Andrew Santino?

  Shout out McComb.

• 15:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, oh, go Huskies, hell yeah.

• 15:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there's gotta be one guy listening that goes, dude!

• 15:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, McComb Community College.

• 15:53Andrew Santino?

  How many years?

• 15:54Speaker 06

  They did hit me up like ten, five, six years ago, saying, we know you went to school here, wondering if you'd want to do, like, a show.

• 15:59Andrew Santino?

  Stand-up, oh, yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 06

  For free.

• 16:00Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 16:00Speaker 06

  And I'm like, nah, I'm not doing a free show for a community college that I went to for two years and never really finished.

• 16:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, isn't two years, they're only two years, aren't they?

• 16:08Speaker 06

  No, actually, I went for longer. I got held back in community college.

• 16:12Andrew Santino?

  It's almost impossible to do.

• 16:13Speaker 06

  I couldn't figure out what I wanted.

• 16:14Andrew Santino?

  They're like, brother, you gotta get out of here, man, you cannot be here anymore.

• 16:16Speaker 06

  I think I spent like three years in community college, I didn't know what I wanted to do, and so then I was like freaking out, like, I don't know if I want to go to college, and then I go, my mom was like, just check out the counselor, see what you maybe accrued. And I went back there, and she's like, you're like two classes away from like four associate's degrees. Because I was like, just pounding, I was doing like so many classes, and I didn't know, I was like, do I like business? Do I like communications? Do I like? I hated all of it.

• 16:37Andrew Santino?

  But you got it, you got it now.

• 16:38Speaker 06

  Yeah, I got three associate's degrees right now.

• 16:39Andrew Santino?

  God bless, you have them framed in the house, yeah?

• 16:41Speaker 06

  Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

• 16:41Andrew Santino?

  First thing you hang up at the new house in Brooklyn?

• 16:43Speaker 06

  That, and a picture of the Ryman Theater.

• 16:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and Johnny Cash.

• 16:46Speaker 06

  Johnny Cash.

• 16:47Andrew Santino?

  Johnny Cash, and we stayed in his room, didn't we stay in Johnny and June's room? We did laundry, I think, at the basement, which is crazy, when we were on tour.

• 16:54Speaker 06

  Really?

• 16:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because.

• 16:55Speaker 06

  Oh, at the Ryman?

• 16:55Andrew Santino?

  We had to, we didn't, I mean, we were on a bus. At that point, we were on the bus.

• 16:59Speaker 06

  You're doing, you've done bus. I'm doing that next, I'm doing that next year.

• 17:02Andrew Santino?

  Who are you bringing, who are you bringing, a friend or your wife?

• 17:05Speaker 06

  Just buddies. Nah, my, she was like, can I come for some of it? And I'm like, I think you're gonna hate it. I'll give you the option, and then my agent was like, let me talk to her. And she's like, she's not going.

• 17:13Andrew Santino?

  Just a lot of guys eating Fruity Pebbles on the bus?

• 17:16Speaker 06

  Truly, we're gonna play video games and eat snacks, like.

• 17:19Andrew Santino?

  Who, are these are comics that are opening for you, or just friends that are hanging?

• 17:21Speaker 06

  Both. So there was, uh, it's gonna be, my two buddies are, are Matt Backus and Jeff Sheen, are comics out of New York, that, uh, I, when I started touring, they would open for me. Like, we always had like a little coattail when we started together. Happens for me, happens for us type of thing.

• 17:36Andrew Santino?

  Great.

• 17:36Speaker 06

  And, um, they've just come with me, and there's, I told my wife, I'm like, sure, they like the money and the stage time, it's, it's awesome, these theaters are really cool, but I need them just as much as they need me. I need my buddies there to like, when I'm freaking out, to make fun of me, and distract me, and like, that's the biggest part, is having your friends there with you. So we're gonna get like gaming, like Xboxes in there, and all that shit, and just, none of them really drink, I barely drink. So we're just gonna have, play video games and travel with my dog.

• 18:04Andrew Santino?

  You say you barely drink, he walked in, he was like, we're gonna have whiskey?

• 18:06Speaker 06

  Well, I walked in, I saw this. Yeah, you know, yeah, it's because I have a problem.

• 18:10Andrew Santino?

  Right away.

• 18:11Speaker 06

  What if, this is, what if I was like four years sober?

• 18:13Andrew Santino?

  It's not my problem.

• 18:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, texting and driving and relapsing friends.

• 18:18Andrew Santino?

  Come on back to the dark side. No, I, I, no, it's fun. The bus is fun, you're gonna love it and hate it at the same time. We had a lot of trouble on it, because it was really, it's just tough, you're stuck on the bus, but like, it's fun. But, you know, the night, nights hard to go to sleep, because everyone's on different schedules and sitting loud and.

• 18:32Speaker 06

  I'm worried about that a little bit, but I also told them that.

• 18:34Andrew Santino?

  As long as you can sleep with this.

• 18:36Speaker 06

  I worked on cruise ships for years.

• 18:37Andrew Santino?

  It's a lot of wobbly, man.

• 18:38Speaker 06

  Cruise ships, I will say, the, the, the rocking to sleep was sometimes very nice, if it was the right way.

• 18:44Andrew Santino?

  Well, the cruise ship's also five hundred times the size, so it's big enough to take on some of that smooth. This, a bus is narrow, so it's, it's a lot, you feel it way more at night, dude.

• 18:53Speaker 06

  Like a bump and shit.

• 18:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you feel it. No, once you're in the middle of the country, that's when you get a lot. When you're like, when you're cruising like Route 66 to the Midwest, it's the, it's the worst, or up in the Northwest, where it's like mountainous, and then you really feel it a lot, but, you know, you get through it, it's fine, it's not gonna kill you.

• 19:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, I just, it was one of those things where I was like, I want to do it at some point, and it's not getting easier to do.

• 19:14Andrew Santino?

  Just no pooping on the bus, man.

• 19:16Speaker 06

  Is that real?

• 19:16Andrew Santino?

  No pooping on the bus, can't poop on the bus. It'll stay with it. You gotta pull, you gotta wait till you get somewhere to poop.

• 19:22Speaker 06

  Is that bus rules, or is it like your advice?

• 19:24Andrew Santino?

  It's just like a cultural rule. You're, you were, you can, I wouldn't.

• 19:27Speaker 06

  But then it doesn't, you can't, it doesn't just, I guess that would be fucked up for any cars behind us.

• 19:32Andrew Santino?

  No, it doesn't dump on the street, that's insane. Who had that joke? Some comic was like, I thought when I was, up until like very recently, that planes just flushed and they just went wherever.

• 19:41Speaker 06

  Okay, I didn't know they didn't. I honestly.

• 19:43Andrew Santino?

  I just saw poop falling out of a plane.

• 19:46Speaker 06

  So they probably, I don't know, it would probably freeze by the time it gets down.

• 19:49Andrew Santino?

  It's pretty, I mean, they put it in a holding tank and they have to empty out that septic tank. Same thing on a bus, but also those things are, you know, they're not, it's not a brand new bus. They're old. They've been used for years. Those things aren't, that's not their main focus. So if you poop on a bus, it will smell. I don't care.

• 20:04Speaker 06

  Damn.

• 20:05Andrew Santino?

  I don't, dude, it will. It's not great. I mean, we didn't even really pee on the bus. Like you would.

• 20:09Speaker 06

  Really?

• 20:09Andrew Santino?

  At night if you had to, but you'd rather wait till you get somewhere to, to go to the bathroom.

• 20:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, I told them like, once a week, we're gonna get like a hotel, just to refresh.

• 20:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's good to have a, it's good to have like a cleanup hotel.

• 20:20Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 20:20Andrew Santino?

  Cause you have, you can't really shower on that thing anyway. I mean, we would shower at the venues or we'd shower at a hotel or, or we would just grab a hose in someone's front yard if we were in a nice neighborhood.

• 20:29Speaker 06

  Really?

• 20:29Andrew Santino?

  No, we'd, come on.

• 20:30Speaker 06

  Damn it, dude. I, listen, I, you can't get mad at me.

• 20:33Andrew Santino?

  Sweet gullible boy.

• 20:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, oh, easily.

• 20:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you are.

• 20:35Speaker 06

  Oh, I'm gonna, yeah.

• 20:37Andrew Santino?

  Does your wife use that to her advantage?

• 20:38Speaker 06

  She says hi, by the way.

• 20:40Andrew Santino?

  Tell her I said hello.

• 20:41Speaker 06

  This is the one, she was excited for me to do this.

• 20:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, tell her I said hello. Where is, where is she back in New York?

• 20:45Speaker 06

  I don't fucking know.

• 20:46Andrew Santino?

  Hell yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 06

  No, she's back in New York.

• 20:48Andrew Santino?

  That's great, dude.

• 20:49Speaker 06

  I was just on the phone with her. She's, uh, yeah, she had a fucking, she's just, she's killing it right now.

• 20:53Andrew Santino?

  Hanging.

• 20:54Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 20:54Andrew Santino?

  Having fun in New York.

• 20:55Speaker 06

  She's hanging, she's, yeah.

• 20:56Andrew Santino?

  The no bus thing is very funny, the not bringing the wife on the bus thing, because there's a lot of, a lot of point of contention between relationships where they're like, well, why can't I go? And you're like, well, I just want the separate time. But then, you are gonna have the moment, of course, where you're like, ah, it'd be cool if she was here.

• 21:10Speaker 06

  Of, almost every time I'm somewhere.

• 21:12Andrew Santino?

  So many times you can bone your buddies.

• 21:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 21:14Andrew Santino?

  You get tired of boning your dogs.

• 21:16Speaker 06

  Until you start thinking of her.

• 21:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're like, ah, yeah, it goes back to her. You hook up with all your guy friends and then you're like, I miss my lady.

• 21:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude.

• 21:24Andrew Santino?

  But no, it's, it's, as long as you're not doing too much time, because it will drive you nuts, you will start to hate your friends a little bit.

• 21:30Speaker 06

  I'm worried about.

• 21:30Andrew Santino?

  We all kinda hated each other at some point.

• 21:32Speaker 06

  Really?

• 21:33Andrew Santino?

  It's hard.

• 21:33Speaker 06

  I'm worried about parts of that. Like, I'm worried about certain things, but that's the reason why I wanna do it, just to do it.

• 21:39Andrew Santino?

  Knock it out.

• 21:40Speaker 06

  I always wanted to like, play video games on a bus with my friends on the way to a show that we have that night, like, that whole thing is like, why not?

• 21:47Andrew Santino?

  How long is the run?

• 21:48Speaker 06

  Two, three week runs.

• 21:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's, yeah, that, well, yeah, yeah.

• 21:52Speaker 06

  So three weeks and then three weeks off, and then three weeks to the East Coast.

• 21:56Andrew Santino?

  I don't even know how long we did for the first run.

• 21:58Speaker 07

  Ours was similar to that.

• 21:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was like a three and some change and, yeah, something like that. And then, and then at the very, very end, we were like, we're flying everywhere.

• 22:05Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 22:05Andrew Santino?

  No, and we were so over it, we were like, nope, no way.

• 22:08Speaker 06

  I feel that's what I'm gonna do.

• 22:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 22:09Speaker 06

  I'm probably gonna take it, but I also was like, ah, yeah, I just wanna try. I just wanna try.

• 22:14Andrew Santino?

  You have to. Getting a good bus driver is a big thing. We had a, we had a very funny dude named Iron Man. Crazy dude, he was crazy, man. He was insane. He was in a fight with his wife at like, four in the morning. I woke up to go pee. I pee in the middle of the night because I'm over 40, and, uh, I hear this like yelling and I'm like, who's yelling, dude? And I walk up and no one's in the living area, and then I hear it up by the front, so I like peel back the curtain, and he doesn't turn around, cause he doesn't know I'm there. He's got his headphones on, he's, oh, that's what I fucking told you. He's barking at his wife and I'm like, man, I hope we don't die while he's fighting with his wife. At least he's wide awake.

• 22:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

• 22:52Andrew Santino?

  He's fighting, so his energy is up versus long road, you know, like, who, what tour? There was a comic whose bus, uh,

• 22:59Speaker 06

  Bert.

• 23:00Andrew Santino?

  Almost flipped on tour, right?

• 23:01Speaker 07

  Bert's went on fire.

• 23:03Andrew Santino?

  His caught on fire, but it was in the middle of the day. There was one in the middle of the night, they like ran off the road and it like flipped over. I can't remember who that was. Do you remember?

• 23:10Speaker 06

  That's fucking horrifying.

• 23:12Andrew Santino?

  Well, did, you know, you get tired.

• 23:14Speaker 07

  Tracy Morgan's, 2014.

• 23:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he, he, he's been, he's almost dead like five times.

• 23:19Speaker 06

  No way.

• 23:20Andrew Santino?

  Then he got hit by the Walmart truck. What year was that?

• 23:21Speaker 06

  That, that was earlier, wasn't it?

• 23:23Speaker 07

  No, it was later. Whoa, what a ro, I would.

• 23:26Andrew Santino?

  It rolled off the side of the road, because you know how like the embankments are so steep in those old country roads? Like, the road is lifted up.

• 23:32Speaker 06

  The culverts or whatever?

• 23:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, exactly. So it went in one of the runoffs and it flipped, right? When was the Walmart truck?

• 23:37Speaker 07

  Uh, it was also 2014.

• 23:40Andrew Santino?

  Back to back.

• 23:41Speaker 06

  Whoa.

• 23:42Andrew Santino?

  God wants you out of here, man.

• 23:44Speaker 06

  Wow, it was all the same day, actually.

• 23:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, it happened that afternoon.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 23:52Andrew Santino?

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• 24:31Andrew Santino?

  That's a close one. Kid's got skills. It is cool to see. Make this your most rewarding season ever with FanDuel. Visit FanDuel.com/Whiskey to get started today. 21-plus select states for Kansas, an affiliation with Kansas Star Casino. 18-plus DC, WY. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESSET, call 1-888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org/chatConnecticut. Visit mdgamblinghelp.org. Maryland, visit gamblinghelplinema.org. Call 800-327-5050. Massachusetts, call 1-8778-HOPE-NY. Text HOPE-NY, New York. Call 1-877770-7867 in Louisiana.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Ginger. I like ginger.

• 25:12Andrew Santino?

  It, it, but you will love it. You'll.

• 25:13Speaker 06

  I'm excited for it, you know. I'm just, yeah, I, I've just wanted to try it. It's, it's a little, it's gonna be, it's a lot of theaters, a lot of big rooms. So that's the, the, it kind of compensates for the bus, because that's expensive.

• 25:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're not cheap.

• 25:24Speaker 06

  All that stuff is very expensive.

• 25:25Andrew Santino?

  Well, you gotta pay for a lot of bodies and gas and, and housing. You gotta house your, your driver, which that was always fun to get him a hotel, and he sleeps all day and then drives all night.

• 25:34Speaker 06

  That's so wild.

• 25:35Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't appear, you don't, he wouldn't appear till like 7:00 PM, and then he'd pop back out and be like, y'all ready to go? Right, though, that dude.

• 25:42Speaker 07

  He would come to the show sometimes.

• 25:43Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes, but pretty rarely he would come.

• 25:45Speaker 07

  Twice.

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  He came to two of them, yeah, but those are 8:00 PM shows, because that's, he's just getting up, eating breakfast, whatever. And then, he was very nice, but, uh, it's good, it's, it's good to have a good driver. Although, he did crash the bus. Uh, remember he hit the satellite, the internet satellite knocked off the roof?

• 26:02Speaker 07

  That's right, we didn't have Wi-Fi, really.

• 26:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude. Well, cause the, we got, we went into a parking garage and it has clearances on it. And he backed up into like one of the spots that wasn't a spot, and we hear like, like, it was, it was, is it, in my mind, the roof ripped off. You know, it was so loud, and we were like, what the fuck? And then he runs around, you know, and he comes up the back and, he was like so nonchalant, he's like, it's a satellite. I'm like, well, we'll also now know, we don't have any service if we're on the road to like watch stream shit. And he's like, ah, they tried to fix it. I don't even know what ended up happening. I don't think we ever ended up getting it back.

• 26:40Speaker 07

  No, there was no TV.

• 26:41Andrew Santino?

  There was no TV, no nothing, yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 06

  That's hu, like, I, I, we were looking into it, cause I'm like, I wanna play video games with our, my friends online.

• 26:48Andrew Santino?

  Well, then you don't need, you don't need TV for it, so that's good. Oh, online, oh, yeah, yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, so we're looking at like Starlink?

• 26:53Andrew Santino?

  Get it.

• 26:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, we're looking at that type of stuff, but then even then, my tech guy was just like, it's, you'd have to get like four of them to justify playing online with each other. I'm like, I don't wanna go that. If we just get like a game, like Mario Kart shit, I'll be fine with that, you know?

• 27:05Andrew Santino?

  How come they haven't figured this out yet? You're like, come on, dude.

• 27:07Speaker 06

  Have you, have you tried Starlink yet?

• 27:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 27:09Speaker 06

  It's crazy how fast. It's better than my home internet.

• 27:12Andrew Santino?

  Oh, by, by far.

• 27:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:13Andrew Santino?

  It's incre, yeah, they got it on, uh,

• 27:15Speaker 06

  What, JetBlue?

• 27:16Andrew Santino?

  Uh, Delta.

• 27:17Speaker 06

  Is it on Delta?

• 27:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 27:18Speaker 06

  I don't know, my Delta's.

• 27:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, no, I just did it yesterday on, yeah, Delta, uh, uh, oh, I was on.

• 27:23Speaker 06

  I think it's JetBlue.

• 27:24Speaker 07

  It's United, Hawaiian.

• 27:25Andrew Santino?

  Virgin, because I just did Virgin yesterday.

• 27:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 06

  Okay, sure.

• 27:29Andrew Santino?

  Virgin, I, I booked it through Delta, but that's their, their partners now, so they had it on there.

• 27:33Speaker 07

  American's gonna do it this year.

• 27:35Andrew Santino?

  Americans doing it, yeah, that's what they said. Yeah, it should be everywhere. You should be able to, why am I downloading movies? Just let me stream it.

• 27:40Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:41Andrew Santino?

  What do we, just let me stream it. I don't wanna download it on an iPad or just let me pop it up on something and watch it. Also, I'm big, big, I even said that to one of, I was like, get rid of these dumb TVs. Some of the planes they outfit with new TVs. You're like, get rid of it. Everyone has a phone.

• 27:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:53Andrew Santino?

  Just get rid of those and supplement how expensive that is with Wi-Fi.

• 27:56Speaker 06

  Or like, I like when they give you the Bluetooth option for the TV.

• 27:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's great, dude.

• 28:00Speaker 06

  Huge. I'm not using the tin canes that they give you.

• 28:02Andrew Santino?

  Yes, no, no, no, thank you, no, thank you. Especially because, you know, all the porn that I am watching on an airplane, I wanna be able to put it on a bigger. So funny, when we flew, like, we flew back from Australia, it's so long, and you're in your like little cubby thing or whatever, and there, there is a moment when you wake up and you're like, could I?

• 28:22Speaker 06

  That is true.

• 28:23Andrew Santino?

  There's one moment where you go, and then you go, I'm on a plane, dude. Do that on a plane, dude?

• 28:27Speaker 06

  Never, never, never.

• 28:28Andrew Santino?

  But there's a piece of your brain that, you wake up from a long nap and you're like, how much longer? And they're like, seven hours. And you're like, gee, that's crazy.

• 28:35Speaker 06

  Waking up and you're still having, I think, uh, I did New Zealand first, and it was 16 hours straight.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  It's a long, well, cause you're in New York.

• 28:41Speaker 06

  Yeah, and I remember waking up with like 10 hours left, and I'm like, I, I slept a full night, and I slept 10 hours on a plane.

• 28:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:48Speaker 06

  You ever get a, I, this happened, you ever get a, um, morning wood on a nap on a plane?

• 28:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, what do you mean? Yeah. Oh, all the time. And I walk around with it. I just go row to row.

• 29:00Speaker 06

  You go beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

• 29:01Andrew Santino?

  I go, can I get you something? Can I get you something? Can I get you something?

• 29:04Speaker 06

  You're just trying to follow the signal. Hold on, it's somewhere over.

• 29:06Andrew Santino?

  My least everything is waking up farting, because it's the first thing you do usually when you wake up, is like let it all out. I fart and then you're in the, the thing, and you're like, I can't move, because if I shift, someone will know.

• 29:16Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, it's leaking.

• 29:17Andrew Santino?

  You just have to let it, you just have to let it dissipate or wait enough time that if it does smell, nobody knows who did it.

• 29:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 29:24Andrew Santino?

  So you're free to, you're like, you know, you're good to go.

• 29:27Speaker 06

  I've, oh, man, I remember one time I was, I was working at a bank and we were driving to a branch to go look at the bran, I was a new hire, they wanted to show me the branches. And the guy picked me up from the train station, it was like a two-hour drive, and I'm in the backseat, probably hungover, tired, and the other comp, the employee's in the front, and they're both talking and like boring, bank talk. So I fall asleep. I remember having to shit and fart.

• 29:50Andrew Santino?

  Bank talk is so funny.

• 29:52Speaker 06

  It's the worst. It's just like, and if we get our, our new customer numbers up, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, I'm in the backseat, I remember. Had to having to fart and then I remember waking up, not having to fart and all the windows were down in December. I just remember the two of them still talking and all the windows were half cracked and I was freezing cold and I'm like, oh I shit my pants on this thing dude. For sure.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  Like, listen man, we're not gonna show you anymore of the branches anymore. I think we got out of this what we needed, yeah. Well, how long did you work at the bank? What were you doing, teller?

• 30:22Speaker 06

  No, I was, I, I, when I, when I wanted to move from Michigan to Chicago, I wanted to get like, I was like, I need a big boy job to afford. So I just got like a financial service, a customer service for a credit union downtown. Yeah, and it was fine.

• 30:37Andrew Santino?

  In Chicago?

• 30:37Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:38Andrew Santino?

  And then, did you work that the whole time you lived in Chicago until you left?

• 30:42Speaker 06

  Until I was actually going to like full-time comedy, cause of all the clubs there, I was able to like skate by. Just doing comedy and I hated getting up at 8 a.m., 7 a.m. every day. Um, but the, what got me was like, they were trying to move me around, cause I kept trying to quit and they're like, let me just find a position for you.

• 30:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they needed you.

• 30:57Speaker 06

  Cause I was sales and my numbers were good, so they're like, how about if you work from home, six hours a day? And I did that for a while.

• 31:02Andrew Santino?

  That's not bad.

• 31:03Speaker 06

  It was pretty sick. And then the last thing they did was they go, hey, our business development guy is quitting. And he's the guy that goes to all the credit unions members, like, um, the power plants, all the power plants in the Midwest, we were their credit union.

• 31:17Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 31:18Speaker 06

  So they go, we were thinking, since you do comedy and you're a salesperson, would you wanna go out to these power plants?

• 31:24Andrew Santino?

  Do comedy?

• 31:25Speaker 06

  And do a little comedy and then pitch the products and we'll give you time and a half, plus paid and you can just go home after and you'll be done by like noon. And I'm like, fuck yeah, let's do it.

• 31:33Andrew Santino?

  How do you say no to that?

• 31:34Speaker 06

  It was awesome and awful at the same time. It was like, I'd have to be at the nuclear power plant at 7 a.m. And it was like four hours away. So I was getting up at like 2:30, 3 a.m., driving three hours, going through two hours of security. Like, for nuclear power plants, there's, there's like a hundred yards of cement blocks. Surrounding it, that you have to weave through walking.

• 31:54Andrew Santino?

  And then, did they have to search you and check you for stuff?

• 31:56Speaker 06

  There are mirrors under the car, dogs walking around my car, two hours, an hour to two hours every time I went into a plant. That's why they, they do like one week on, one week off. They live there every day. And the security is insane. They're like, if anybody were to rush and try the car and we're covered on every angle, they have war games they do there. Like, once a year, they do a surprise attack. On the thing and they have like fake guns and they have to like, they have the war games to make sure we're protected. And so I'm like, whoa, I didn't think it was this. I thought I'd be going into like an office building, whatever. And so I go in there and they're like, and it was like a thousand engineers at 8 a.m. It was the most people on every one of these things I went to. And they were like, yeah, so, you know, you're gonna be going up after Wounded Warrior Project?

• 32:38Andrew Santino?

  Easy follow.

• 32:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:40Andrew Santino?

  Who's like singing a song?

• 32:41Speaker 06

  No, they're just hobbling.

• 32:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:43Speaker 06

  And.

• 32:43Andrew Santino?

  Just wobbling up there, dude. My fallen brothers.

• 32:46Speaker 06

  They always had a story that was tough to follow, dude. It was never like, and honestly, I feel fine, I'm good, thank you guys. Um, and I remember going up and then I'd have to like, I remember starting clean, I'm like, it's 8 a.m., this is a professional, this is a corporate event.

• 33:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:00Speaker 06

  So I'm like, my mom's real silly. And then it was just, I was bombing. And then I remember I did a switch to darker material. I remember doing like, I got a tattoo of my dad's name. 1956 dash 2025, just to see the look on his face. And they'd be like, oh, alright, like, that's not a great joke, but it was a darker joke that was still clean.

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 06

  But the worst part was, if I did get a laugh, I then would have to be like, and guy, by the way, our APRs are at an all-time low and I'd have to like incorporate.

• 33:28Andrew Santino?

  Switch back to.

• 33:29Speaker 06

  Financial sales into my stand-up. And then I'd have to sit at the end as they all walked by and sell the merch of the credit union.

• 33:36Andrew Santino?

  Not your merch.

• 33:37Speaker 06

  Not mine. Just the merch of like, hey, if you want, and I get commission on it. So technically I am making money. If they get a credit card, I get like 20 bucks.

• 33:43Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 33:44Speaker 06

  So I was just like having to sit there and then like people would be like, so, let me ask you about the, uh, the mortgage, blah, blah, blah. And then the whole time, they'd be like. You know, it's good, fun, it's pretty funny, man. And I walk away, I'm like, why am I, this sucks.

• 33:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 06

  But I was getting paid like 300 bucks a day.

• 33:59Andrew Santino?

  That's the grind, though.

• 34:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 34:00Andrew Santino?

  You have to do it. It only gets you to where you are now.

• 34:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, oh, I, uh, every comic has to go through every tier of bar, VFW, like.

• 34:09Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 06

  Bar, like all these crap shows.

• 34:11Andrew Santino?

  You gotta do, you gotta go through all the rungs if you, not all of them, but you have to, everyone has to go through something. No one started at the top.

• 34:17Speaker 06

  Did you ever do cruises?

• 34:19Andrew Santino?

  Never, man. I couldn't do, I don't, I, you'll, I can't. Well, yeah, I can't do, I don't, uh, I don't do that. Cruises, I can't.

• 34:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, no one.

• 34:28Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, I just mean in general, I couldn't be on one. They give me the, it creeps me out.

• 34:32Speaker 06

  The people or the, just the, the water?

• 34:33Andrew Santino?

  All the above.

• 34:34Speaker 06

  The lasophobia of it or? Really?

• 34:36Andrew Santino?

  It's just like too many people on a boat, out in the middle of nowhere.

• 34:40Speaker 06

  It is scary.

• 34:41Andrew Santino?

  I just don't like the idea of like buffet, millions, or thousands of people. You hear all these horror stories, like the viruses, the breakouts, and I'm like, this is not for me, dude.

• 34:52Speaker 06

  And I respect that answer, 100%.

• 34:55Andrew Santino?

  I can't do it.

• 34:55Speaker 06

  You know what I don't like? Is when I was doing cruises, there was, there were comics that were like, oh, the fucking, that's not real. Like, that's not comedy.

• 35:03Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

• 35:05Speaker 06

  I'm still doing a show.

• 35:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're doing a show.

• 35:07Speaker 06

  For people from the middle of this country.

• 35:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're doing a show.

• 35:09Speaker 06

  That's doing a show.

• 35:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, I just can't be on one cause of my panic.

• 35:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 35:13Andrew Santino?

  I just have bad, that's like claustrophobic nightmare of like, I need to get away. And it's like, well, you can't go anywhere.

• 35:19Speaker 06

  No.

• 35:19Andrew Santino?

  No, dude, that creeps me out.

• 35:21Speaker 06

  Every day on the top deck.

• 35:22Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that would kill me too. I'd start to, I'd, I'd have a Looney, Looney Tune moment of like, I'm gonna jump off the side. I gotta get out of here. Oh, I, dude. It's like when you get to the edge of a tall building, why for a second are you like, should I do it?

• 35:34Speaker 06

  The, the call of the void, it's a French thing, isn't it?

• 35:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 06

  To do the ball or something like that.

• 35:38Andrew Santino?

  Because it's there and you're like, what would happen if I?

• 35:41Speaker 06

  There's guy, there's something there. Some people say that there's no fear of heights, it's just a fear of jumping.

• 35:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Yeah, I'm not really afraid of being up, I'm afraid of getting, going down.

• 35:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, you're afraid of going, nah, fuck it.

• 35:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm afraid of wanting it. What's down there? No, yeah, I don't care about the, I don't have any stigma towards it, I just, I can't, cruises creep me out, like. That many humans in one place. I mean, even like festivals as I've gotten older, I can't do, I can do a show, I can do a concert.

• 36:07Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 36:07Andrew Santino?

  But I can't do a multi-band, multi-tiered, like, you know, like Bobby went to.

• 36:13Speaker 06

  Workaholics.

• 36:13Andrew Santino?

  Uh, yeah, oh, no, he went to Coachella, I mean, uh, yeah, he went to Coachella, right? And I, and he's like, you should go. I was like, brother, that's the, I can't. I literally.

• 36:22Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:22Andrew Santino?

  So many humans figuring out where to go to the bathroom, when to eat, where, it's like, I, it's too inconvenient.

• 36:29Speaker 06

  I agree with you. And it's funny, cause I love New York, but I hate festivals, I hate.

• 36:32Andrew Santino?

  New York, you can get out of anything at any moment. You can go do whatever you need to do. You can get away from everything, if you need to. If you need to get away, you can get away.

• 36:38Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:39Andrew Santino?

  If you wanna be inside the tornado, you can. But it's got an escape room.

• 36:43Speaker 06

  That's true.

• 36:43Andrew Santino?

  New York has always got a, I gotta get out, you're like, I gotta go. The amount of times I've, you know, I've Irish goodbye to New York at a party, when it got too heavy and I'm like.

• 36:50Speaker 06

  It is easy to do that.

• 36:51Andrew Santino?

  Disappear. Nobody cares. They don't even know you're gone.

• 36:53Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:54Andrew Santino?

  Like, you know what I mean? In most places, they'll know, they're like, where'd Jeff go? New York, tomorrow, they're like, dude, they're all night. You're like, I know.

• 37:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:01Andrew Santino?

  They would never know, man. That place has so many black holes, though. New York has some of the best black holes you can get into of like, sneak into a windowless bar. There was a bar.

• 37:09Speaker 06

  Oh, sure.

• 37:09Andrew Santino?

  Where'd you, I don't know, you don't have to say where you, obviously, don't ever tell me where you live in Brooklyn, we're not gonna announce that to the humans. But I wanna tell you, there's a, there's a bar, my buddy used to, my buddy used to live right down the street too. When he was out of town, I'd stay at his place. And I would just go to this bar all night. It was, it was absurd. It was not necessary.

• 37:28Speaker 06

  It's very prominent in a lot of Brooklyn and like a lot of Queens, Brooklyn.

• 37:33Andrew Santino?

  That's why we don't live, that's why guys like me can't live there, because it would be, I would just be an all-night barfly.

• 37:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, cause then you walk home, you walk home or walk onto a train.

• 37:43Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 37:43Speaker 06

  I have, um.

• 37:44Andrew Santino?

  Look it up. Oh, here, it's off of Driggs. I'm gonna tell you right now if you've ever been there, if you're a late-night bar.

• 37:50Speaker 06

  Driggs? That's Queens? No, that's Brooklyn, Bushwick?

• 37:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but, no, it's, no, it's, uh, Williamsburg.

• 37:55Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 37:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 06

  That's nice.

• 37:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well.

• 37:59Speaker 06

  I ain't that Brooklyn. I am not like, that's like the.

• 38:02Andrew Santino?

  What is this called, man?

• 38:03Speaker 06

  Called Fulproof?

• 38:04Andrew Santino?

  It's right off of the L. It's like literally off of the L. Why can't I find this, dude? Who cares? I'm killing time for no reason, but, um. But it did one of those things to me where I, I would realize that I was like, oh, I'm, I've been here way too long. Like, what am I doing? This is bad.

• 38:20Speaker 06

  That was kinda like Chicago for me, was the.

• 38:22Andrew Santino?

  Chicago has that too.

• 38:23Speaker 06

  Camaraderie with drinking was, like, that was the one thing everybody did.

• 38:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we're a good drinking city.

• 38:28Speaker 06

  Yeah. And I just, uh, I remember that was like, to the point of like, alright, if I didn't have this, what would I have? Then I need to leave. Like, if, if drinking was removed from Chicago, Chicago wouldn't have been fun. Like, the scene wouldn't have been fun.

• 38:41Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 38:41Speaker 06

  As fun. Like, that was part of it. And so.

• 38:44Andrew Santino?

  The city's great, though.

• 38:46Speaker 06

  The city of Chicago?

• 38:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 38:47Speaker 06

  Wonderful city.

• 38:48Andrew Santino?

  So, so great.

• 38:48Speaker 06

  I, I, I love so much of Chicago. The only thing I don't like is my, the, the five, six years I lived there was.

• 38:54Andrew Santino?

  You told me before the show, the black people. It was crazy that you would say that. Didn't that?

• 38:59Speaker 06

  Why would you change that from Asians to black people?

• 39:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I don't know, because I thought, it was more risky, you know? Not as many Asians. No, what do you, what, what do you don't like about the city?

• 39:08Speaker 06

  Was the, the brutality of the winter.

• 39:10Andrew Santino?

  Yes, yeah, tough.

• 39:11Speaker 06

  The consistency, the, like, how it would be negative 12 for like 10 days straight. In New York, it could be like freezing cold, the next day it's 65 degrees. You're like, what the fuck?

• 39:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 06

  I enjoy that.

• 39:21Andrew Santino?

  New York's more bipolar.

• 39:22Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 39:23Andrew Santino?

  Chicago is just like an angry father.

• 39:25Speaker 06

  You are gonna hate yourself in February. You are going to be the most depressed you've ever been in February. So I didn't like that. I didn't like how cold it got, like where if one part of your cheek was exposed, it was like black by the time you got to work. Like, I hated that. Um, but man, summers, when you got a skyline behind you, you take the Lakeshore Drive all the way down on a bicycle, go to the beach, like, but that's two months, three months?

• 39:48Andrew Santino?

  One and a half.

• 39:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Barely that. And then you're like, fuck, no, the leaves.

• 39:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's coming, yeah, we know it's coming, it's sad. No, but you, but you know what? Any great city has shitty weather.

• 40:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, you, yeah.

• 40:03Andrew Santino?

  That's why this place is fake, it's not real.

• 40:05Speaker 06

  It's part of the charm. You need that shit. You need the, that's the only thing I don't, I don't, I keep saying there's one thing I don't like about L.A. As I name the ninth thing I didn't like about it.

• 40:12Andrew Santino?

  It's a lot of things, yeah.

• 40:13Speaker 06

  One thing that would freak me out is the passage of time. Like you don't like I'll be like, oh shit, it is September in New York. Cause I'm like, it is getting cold. Here it's just like seventy-five and perfect.

• 40:26Andrew Santino?

  July right now, what is it?

• 40:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, end of July.

• 40:28Andrew Santino?

  End of July, yeah. No, I get no idea. Literally no idea. Doesn't matter.

• 40:31Speaker 06

  It's crazy. I, yeah.

• 40:32Andrew Santino?

  Just a little hotter. We'll like be like, it's a little hotter. Must be the summer now.

• 40:36Speaker 07

  Yeah, that's.

• 40:36Speaker 06

  That's weird.

• 40:37Andrew Santino?

  Or you'll see more kids and you're like, oh, school's out. Like otherwise I wouldn't know. Like you'll, you'll see more kids out. And like, oh, school's done.

• 40:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's it.

• 40:46Andrew Santino?

  I don't know when school is, like Midwest, you would just know. Cause it was, you know, like you would just know when school was about to be out. It'd be humming. You know, like people would be excited.

• 40:55Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:55Andrew Santino?

  Out here, it's like, someone will say something and I'll be like, yeah, but those are, your kids are in school. And they're like, what? No, it's the summer. And I'm like, oh shit, that's right.

• 41:02Speaker 06

  That's the better way of living.

• 41:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:04Speaker 06

  Is not knowing the schedule of children nowadays, you know?

• 41:09Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no. What I mean is there's a hum.

• 41:11Speaker 06

  He got out four minutes ago. Where is he?

• 41:13Andrew Santino?

  There's a hum in the air when school's about to get out in the Midwest. There's like, because people are excited. It's about to be a party. But here, they're, they get to live free all year. It doesn't matter. It's not like, parents feel differently out here. It's just always, I mean, I'm sure they do. Cause then they ship their kids to camp and then they, you know what I mean?

• 41:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, I do. I, I've always envied the, the high school depictions of Los Angeles. The outdoor lockers, skateboarding to school. I always wanted that. I always thought that was cool as fuck. Well, that or the Hey Arnold PS118 style. I hated suburbs. I wanted one of those two.

• 41:45Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 41:45Speaker 06

  I want to be a beach boy or city boy. One of those two.

• 41:47Andrew Santino?

  And now you're a city boy.

• 41:48Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:49Andrew Santino?

  Can't be a beach boy.

• 41:50Speaker 06

  But man, the, the more you spend time in the city and the more you're like, I guess like financially stable, you're like, ah, house in the woods.

• 41:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 06

  Let me go deep into the woods.

• 41:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 06

  Let me get like, I want to be like Mark Wahlberg in Sniper. What? Yeah.

• 42:03Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna fight with your wife.

• 42:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude. It'll be days.

• 42:05Andrew Santino?

  We're already out here.

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, it would be, a getaway is probably, you'll get a getaway or something. If you guys are gonna have kids at some point.

• 42:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, we're thinking about, we do the IVF. We got the embryos.

• 42:15Andrew Santino?

  Nice dude. I tried it. I swung that bat. Didn't work for me. It's going to work for you. Watch. Cheer cheers. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. And you're gonna name your kid after me.

• 42:24Speaker 06

  I will.

• 42:24Andrew Santino?

  Santino.

• 42:25Speaker 06

  Just your last name?

• 42:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Santino Arcuri.

• 42:29Speaker 06

  Santino Arcuri.

• 42:32Speaker 06

  Hey dad, you call me in here for some? Dude, that's the thing that sucks. My wife will never watch Sopranos and I, I fucking love doing that.

• 42:39Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean she'll never watch it?

• 42:40Speaker 06

  She just, she goes, I've tried. And I, she's got, couldn't get through the first episode. And I go, you have to get, you have to force your way through the first seasonal more.

• 42:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh no, see, I'm the opposite. I like the first. A lot of people were like, I thought the first season was fun.

• 42:50Speaker 06

  No, it is.

• 42:50Andrew Santino?

  People are always like, yeah, it's okay. I'm like, I thought it was great, but I'm the odd man out. Cause I, I, I liked this first season way more than, a lot of people were like, once you get to two, then it's cruising. But I ju, I love the first season.

• 43:02Speaker 06

  I love every part of it. I've watched, every two years I restart the whole series and I sit and watch it. And then I'll like not look at it. Cause I'm like, I can picture the scene. You know, I've known the scene so much.

• 43:11Andrew Santino?

  I love it.

• 43:12Speaker 06

  But I watched the show so much and it sucks. I'm, all my impressions are wasted.

• 43:16Andrew Santino?

  Okay, wow. Cause if, on her, yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, I walk around like in a very difficult situation. Like that. And she's like, what the hell was that? I'm like, you know, that was a, that was a pretty good one, dude.

• 43:26Andrew Santino?

  You understand.

• 43:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  Uh, what, what is it? What he's talking about? Meadow's boyfriend who's half-black and half-Jewish.

• 43:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude.

• 43:34Andrew Santino?

  The funniest. That's like such a funny scene.

• 43:37Speaker 06

  My, okay, not, my dad's not racist, but that guy is, Tony Soprano's character.

• 43:42Andrew Santino?

  Say it all you want, but he is.

• 43:44Speaker 06

  But you know what I will say?

• 43:46Andrew Santino?

  My dad's not racist, but if there was a black guy in my car. Who's this guy? Jeff? You got your wallet on you?

• 43:52Speaker 06

  I will say that if my, I generally don't think he is racist. I think he has like, there are racist tendencies of being a man in his seventies that was.

• 44:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he was born in the fifties.

• 44:02Speaker 06

  Born in the fifties.

• 44:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 06

  Grew up in Queens and Long, he, in my opinion, has the more excusable version of racism. Because he grew up around black people.

• 44:12Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 44:12Speaker 06

  I think the ignorant racism is the real problem. It's the, it's, but he's, he's remembering the interactions he's had with black people when he was 12 years old. And then he like, remembers that at 68 when he's at Walmart. And that's obviously not right.

• 44:25Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 44:26Speaker 06

  But he's got a different form of racism where it's just like, he'll say it so matter-of-factly certain things. And I'm just like, yo, dude. And he's just like, what? I got, I have friends. My, my, Tommy at the store, he's black. And I go, yeah, and you keep bringing him up.

• 44:40Andrew Santino?

  All right, yeah. To everybody. Everybody. No, I have a Tommy. I have a Tommy. Yeah, there's no, there's no, there's no, uh, excuse for any of it. But for some reason, the guys in the fifties, you're like, what are you gonna do? That's how they are.

• 44:53Speaker 06

  Yeah, the old dog new trick thing is funny.

• 44:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 44:55Speaker 06

  But like, if your dog was barking an N-word, would you try though? No matter how old he was?

• 45:00Andrew Santino?

  My dog's black, so he gets, she's allowed to do whatever she wants. Yeah.

• 45:04Speaker 06

  It's the hard R that throws me off though.

• 45:05Andrew Santino?

  No, but if it's a black dog. That's why you can't get a white, I see a white dog. I see a white dog and my, my black dog, uh, does not like those white dogs. Doesn't like them.

• 45:14Speaker 06

  Is that real?

• 45:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, doesn't like white dogs. Black dog, she's fine with. She's very ra, she's from Atlanta.

• 45:22Andrew Santino?

  She's black black. She listens to Dr. Dr. Umar. Uh, what's the guy's name? The, the doctor?

• 45:28Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:29Andrew Santino?

  The guy who's like the most racist black guy like ever. Who's like, he's very pro-black, but he's so anti-white that you're like.

• 45:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, Mark Johnson.

• 45:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're like, these two things don't have to be, you know, and he's like, pro-black. You're like, right on. He's like, white people are animal pieces of shit. You're like, all right, dude.

• 45:43Speaker 06

  Called Shane Gillis a Neanderthal.

• 45:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 45:45Speaker 06

  That was so funny.

• 45:46Andrew Santino?

  Very funny though. Very funny.

• 45:48Speaker 06

  Shane's response is that?

• 45:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's gonna buy his school.

• 45:51Speaker 06

  And call the Robert E. Lee school.

• 45:53Andrew Santino?

  So good. Yeah, that dude, his whole thing, he's like, race mixing is, um, is the devil's work and all this shit.

• 46:00Speaker 06

  Oh, he's just.

• 46:01Andrew Santino?

  He's a nutbag. He's a fucking nutbag.

• 46:03Speaker 06

  That sucks.

• 46:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're allowed to be pro-black and not be anti-white. But Dr. Umar, new level, new level of hate. He was probably born in the fifties.

• 46:14Speaker 06

  Isn't that wild to think in like probably, what do they say? Like two, two hundred, three hundred years, we're all just gonna look the same?

• 46:20Andrew Santino?

  No, we'll be dead.

• 46:21Speaker 06

  No, no, yeah, you and I.

• 46:23Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I mean, this place will all be gone.

• 46:24Speaker 06

  You think so?

• 46:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh dude, I talked to a cabbie yesterday about it when I was going to the airport.

• 46:28Speaker 06

  Okay, well, it's good we have a reference.

• 46:30Andrew Santino?

  This guy, he knows dude. He's ahead, he's ahead of the times.

• 46:34Speaker 00

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• 47:09Speaker 00

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• 47:37Andrew Santino?

  He was, him and I were chatting about it. He goes.

• 47:39Speaker 06

  You could've said some guy.

• 47:40Andrew Santino?

  No, cabbies, cabbies know. You, who knows more than anybody but a cabbie?

• 47:43Speaker 06

  That's true.

• 47:43Andrew Santino?

  Cabbies are ahead of the game, dude. They've seen it all, they've heard it all. They've lived through more conversations with geniuses and idiots than anybody will ever know.

• 47:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 47:51Andrew Santino?

  Particularly in New York. Holy shit. Those guys, back when they have to go get that medal or whatever the fuck it is.

• 47:56Speaker 06

  The medallion?

• 47:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's crazy. You had to learn every street and know every person. They had to like be aware of everything. No, but I talked to a cabbie on the way to the airport. It was pretty interesting. Cause he was like, he's like, I, I, he grew up in London. I was in west, west of London, 50 minutes west of London. He was like, he's like, it used to snow here. It used to snow all the way up to that sign. See that sign? It used to snow up to that sign. He goes, no, no, global warming. I go, yeah, maybe. I don't know. Maybe it's just the earth quitting. And he was like, oh, really? He said, that's pretty interesting. I said, well, the, the arrogant thought is that we deserve to be here and that we'll be here forever. Like the thought that humans are like, it's our time now. It's like, yeah, but who knows when this time is up. And I think we've done enough. We've seen enough from a scientific perspective where like, oh yeah, this thing's gonna get mad at us soon and just shut down.

• 48:46Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 48:46Andrew Santino?

  It was frozen for millions of years. The idea that we think it's not gonna happen again, that you're like, it's not gonna happen again. You're like, yeah, it will. Something will, something. So I think we'll be dead soon. I think it's coming. Next, next like 50 years, it's happening.

• 48:58Speaker 06

  That's crazy. No, 50 years?

• 49:00Andrew Santino?

  This is the arrogance. Why would it not?

• 49:02Speaker 06

  So you're saying my, my nephew, the world will end before my nephew can retire?

• 49:06Andrew Santino?

  Maybe, yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's wild.

• 49:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and it's his fault.

• 49:09Speaker 06

  You think he did it?

• 49:10Andrew Santino?

  No, but what's the idea that like, it like a complete, the idea that we're super safe in space, that we're just safe is weird. It's.

• 49:16Speaker 06

  You know what?

• 49:17Andrew Santino?

  Who's to say if it's tomorrow?

• 49:18Speaker 06

  Okay, so you know what gives me kind of peace about that is that space and time is so, are so infinite. We can agree that there's no end to space. There's no end to time.

• 49:26Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 49:27Speaker 06

  That really, the earth is just that. Beginning of time, or I'm sorry, beginning of earth to end of earth in the, in all of space and time is, is a.

• 49:35Andrew Santino?

  Basically didn't exist.

• 49:36Speaker 06

  That, that's all it is.

• 49:37Andrew Santino?

  And we exist less. So my point is, if something happens, the idea that it's, we're gonna, we have a lot of time left is crazy.

• 49:44Speaker 06

  That, I think there's arrogance to you thinking that it's gonna happen in, around when you were here.

• 49:48Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no. Well, not, not because of me or, or near my time, but to think that it's just, I'll be out of here by the time that happens. That's, that's my point.

• 49:56Speaker 06

  Oh sure. That's how everyone's living right now.

• 49:58Andrew Santino?

  No, yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 06

  I genuinely think, well, we have at least two or three, at least two or three more generations, fully generations of people until we start getting the Last of Us vibes.

• 50:07Andrew Santino?

  We'll see, dude.

• 50:07Speaker 06

  The world's not gonna, it's not gonna be a sun like explosion. It's, it's gonna be.

• 50:12Andrew Santino?

  So we think.

• 50:12Speaker 06

  Hurricanes and more tornadoes and.

• 50:15Andrew Santino?

  I guess.

• 50:15Speaker 06

  Things like that that haven't happened yet.

• 50:17Andrew Santino?

  Stone that just comes hucking down.

• 50:18Speaker 06

  You think so?

• 50:19Andrew Santino?

  Why not? I don't fucking know. What if, what if another life form is like, I've had enough? We gotta kill those guys.

• 50:26Speaker 06

  One laser down.

• 50:27Andrew Santino?

  Well, they're down here. They're so down here now that you're like, alright, when are they gonna do the thing?

• 50:31Speaker 06

  They have been here. You think that, yeah?

• 50:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the government just, we just exposed. We exposed so heavily that they're here now that we're like, oh, what? And we're like, yeah, we've been fucking with them a little bit. Like, the government is like, we've been fucking with them, dude.

• 50:43Speaker 06

  That's, I don't know, man.

• 50:44Andrew Santino?

  They did, they did. We talked about it on Bad. Like, Doc brought up all these articles. Well, the government's come clean now about so many unidentified things that we've been... Remember they used to be like, "That's not true."

• 50:55Speaker 06

  Yeah, they were pretty adamant against it.

• 50:56Andrew Santino?

  And ten years ago, they were like, "It's true, but it's under control." That's nuts, dude.

• 51:01Speaker 06

  But they don't know, like, they don't know the difference between a UAP... Like, a UAP could also be a Russian technology. Like, they're saying that it could, we don't know anything about it, so it could be anything.

• 51:12Andrew Santino?

  Could be. I think it's something else.

• 51:14Speaker 06

  You think it's more likely it's from a...

• 51:16Andrew Santino?

  It's from something, another life form, another thing that's, that's, that's like, finally is, is interested in us again. That's like, what's going on over there?

• 51:22Speaker 06

  I think the chances of two life forms in all of time and space, that two, that two life forms, that one of them was able to develop at the same timeline and speed as us to come and visit us.

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  But why not? That we know of, it could've happened.

• 51:34Speaker 06

  Just the likelihood of all space and time.

• 51:36Andrew Santino?

  But it could've happened millions of times before, we would never have known.

• 51:37Speaker 06

  Right.

• 51:38Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's what I mean. It's why not, why not now?

• 51:40Speaker 06

  Sure. You're right. I'll give you that. Why not?

• 51:42Andrew Santino?

  It could happen. I'd like it to.

• 51:44Speaker 06

  Hell, yeah.

• 51:45Andrew Santino?

  Let's be taken over, dude. We're gonna be taken over by AI and robots, so let's do it. Let, at least let aliens do it.

• 51:50Speaker 06

  Would you, if an alien came down and was like?

• 51:52Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 51:53Speaker 06

  You would?

• 51:53Andrew Santino?

  Whatever you're saying.

• 51:54Speaker 06

  Really?

• 51:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let's go. I'm cruising.

• 51:56Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  Well, what is it?

• 51:57Speaker 06

  Would you be the, yeah, would you be the, the, the, the kid getting people, convincing people to get on the trains? You know, the small Jewish kid going, "No, it's okay," because they paid him two dollars. You know what I mean?

• 52:07Andrew Santino?

  It was two dollars?

• 52:09Speaker 06

  No, I mean, that's a lot of money back then.

• 52:12Speaker 06

  No, like, there's, there's a book on it, like, a kid that was, they, they, they would do that. Nazis would hire

• 52:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, hire Jewish kids.

• 52:16Speaker 06

  The friendliest kids to get other Jews to believe in them. So, if the aliens were like, "We're gonna need you to..."

• 52:22Andrew Santino?

  I don't think this is the same thing, but okay.

• 52:24Speaker 06

  Fuck, now this sucks. You did that too early. Now, like, it's the thought.

• 52:30Andrew Santino?

  Who's the alien, dude? No, I know what you're saying. Yes, would I sucker?

• 52:34Speaker 06

  What I'm saying is Nazis don't exist.

• 52:36Andrew Santino?

  I wouldn't sucker anybody else into, but if, if they were like, "Who wants to come back?" I'm like, "Let's rock, let's go, I'm down." Kiss my wife on the forehead and be like, "I gotta go check this out."

• 52:47Speaker 06

  So, we're gonna, yeah, come with us and trust us?

• 52:48Andrew Santino?

  It's been a fun career. I, I think I could pack it up. I mean, I'd be like, dude, I did some fun stuff. I wanna go see what's going on.

• 52:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, but also, if aliens landed, I don't think stand-up would still continue.

• 52:57Andrew Santino?

  No, they would love us. I think they're a big fan.

• 52:59Speaker 06

  Yeah?

• 53:00Andrew Santino?

  We've seen Netflix. They love Netflix.

• 53:04Speaker 06

  I'm more of a Hulu guy.

• 53:07Andrew Santino?

  They bump into me on the street, they're like, "Bobby's mom, Bobby's mom." And I'm like, "Dude, I told you they loved our shit."

• 53:14Andrew Santino?

  No, I would, I would give it a whirl. I'd give aliens a go. Why not? I mean, what's, who, who cares? You know what I mean? We're, I've, we've lived a good amount of life. My parents are getting older. I think it'd be time to be like, "Let's check it out." And also, then they'd write about you.

• 53:28Speaker 06

  Oh, you'd, you'd wanna be in aliens history?

• 53:30Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 53:31Speaker 06

  You wanna be?

• 53:32Andrew Santino?

  Way cooler than we're here.

• 53:34Speaker 06

  Andrew.

• 53:35Andrew Santino?

  I don't care about Wikipedia here. I'd give me, give me some alien fucking.

• 53:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:39Andrew Santino?

  That would be way cooler. Yes.

• 53:41Speaker 06

  In some planet somewhere, you know?

• 53:43Andrew Santino?

  And they're like, "Nah."

• 53:45Speaker 06

  What is that? Is that, no, that's not Mac and Me. What was that?

• 53:47Andrew Santino?

  No, that's, uh, like, Coneheads was like that.

• 53:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:51Andrew Santino?

  I love that.

• 53:51Speaker 06

  Damn, you remember Mac and Me?

• 53:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, dude. So good.

• 53:55Speaker 06

  There's been a lot of depictions of aliens. That was one of the creepier ones.

• 53:58Andrew Santino?

  ET, I think, broke the mold for what people were, like, people thought... That was the best version of a, an alien that didn't look like it was gonna kill you. I was like, "That's pretty good," because it made it a pot belly. Very smart to make him fat. Like, he looked like a Midwest dad.

• 54:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, they should've given him some, like, loose hairs.

• 54:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like, he's balding.

• 54:15Speaker 06

  Is he wearing noob hats?

• 54:16Andrew Santino?

  Is he wearing glasses? What is going on? Yeah, he's got noobs on. Just a Marlboro Light sitting out of his mouth. Like, this alien.

• 54:24Speaker 06

  Rocks. This is a relatable alien right here.

• 54:27Andrew Santino?

  No, I think, I think we'll be around for a while. I don't believe in any of it, but you know what? It'd be, it'd be fun to see if they come down and have some fun.

• 54:34Speaker 06

  There's always the, there's, there's always a...

• 54:36Andrew Santino?

  The what if, huh?

• 54:36Speaker 06

  Uh, not even just aliens, but I think every guy has had this fantasy of, "What would I do if a, if a Tyrannosaurus Rex jumped into the movie theater right now?" Or if, like, the world was ending, where would I go? Would I go to the city, or would I do this? Like, there's this survival

• 54:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 06

  that we kinda crave.

• 54:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, where do you go? Where do you go? If the world starts getting at war, like, everything, war everywhere, where do you go?

• 54:57Speaker 06

  War? I would leave, I told my wife, we would, I would leave, she didn't ask. I remember this, because I remember talking to her about it, like, last night, where I was like, "What I would do, I'd leave the beaches." You gotta get away from the water.

• 55:09Andrew Santino?

  Get away from the water.

• 55:09Speaker 06

  Get away from the water right away, because the, any, like, end of times event is, the water's gonna rise, or it'll recede, or it'll fuck up, the coast will get fucked up.

• 55:17Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 55:18Speaker 06

  And then I'd just go to the, like, somewhere in the middle.

• 55:20Andrew Santino?

  Highest point you could find?

• 55:22Speaker 06

  Well, that's a good point.

• 55:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, hike up. Go up.

• 55:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 55:25Andrew Santino?

  We'd go up to the mountains here, that's what I would do. I'd go as high as, as high as I could. Grab a couple guns, get to the top of the mountain.

• 55:29Speaker 06

  Yep. Just get a bunch of pretty pebbles.

• 55:32Andrew Santino?

  Lot of canned, lot of canned objects, just hope for the best.

• 55:34Speaker 06

  Yep. That's it. Get away from the cities, get away from the coasts.

• 55:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, where they were, it sucks, we're by both of them.

• 55:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're, we're, we are in target one and target two.

• 55:45Speaker 06

  A hundred percent.

• 55:45Andrew Santino?

  They're getting us, it's you guys then us.

• 55:47Speaker 06

  Yeah. I remember what my wife talked about. She goes, "Well, what if we lived on Long Island?" And I'm like, "Oh, yeah, no, the nuclear blast wouldn't hit us there." If they hit Manhattan, no, we'd be good on Long Island.

• 55:57Andrew Santino?

  One way in, one way out. We'll get to the Hamptons. Why don't we just go live in the Hamptons?

• 56:01Speaker 06

  Arguably, the worst place to go would be Long Island, New York for the apocalypse.

• 56:06Andrew Santino?

  Like that, like, when you do go out to the tip, when you go way out, like, by the Hamptons, anytime I ever driveway out there, I'm always like, "This is..." This does feel like an apocalyptic movie where it, you are stuck, it's no way, you can't, there's nowhere to go.

• 56:18Speaker 06

  Not even north or south.

• 56:19Andrew Santino?

  If something happened, you're done. It's over. That's such a weird feeling. I think about that once in a great while when I'm traveling, that I'm like, yeah, this survival stuff, you're right, that you're like, I'm like, "How do we get out of this?"

• 56:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's just fun to it.

• 56:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're like, "How do I, how do I sneak away?"

• 56:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, and apparently, women don't do it.

• 56:35Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no, no, because they rely on you to do it.

• 56:38Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 56:39Andrew Santino?

  While they're dealing with, while they're dealing with more realistic things, like, how to manage life. And we're like, "How do we, how do we figure out an escape room?"

• 56:47Speaker 06

  She catches me doing, my wife catches me doing that a lot, where I do, I very, when I think, I'm expressive. So, I'll have thoughts like that, and I'll be in the house, and I'll just be like...

• 56:57Speaker 06

  Like that, and she'll go, "What are you doing?" I'm like, "I'm saving our lives right now."

• 57:01Andrew Santino?

  Shut up, shut up, I'm figuring, I'm doing math right now. Fourteen guns, sixteen...

• 57:06Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:07Andrew Santino?

  Forty-eight bullets a gun. Yeah, you, you're doing, you're doing the necessary evil. You're doing what needs to be done. I felt that way when I went to Australia for the first time.

• 57:14Speaker 06

  I went last year for the first time.

• 57:15Andrew Santino?

  That's great, right?

• 57:16Speaker 06

  So cool. I did, did you do New Zealand?

• 57:18Andrew Santino?

  I did. We did Auckland. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did Auckland.

• 57:21Speaker 06

  I did Auckland and then Australia.

• 57:24Andrew Santino?

  We did Auckland last?

• 57:25Speaker 06

  No, we did it like, two cities in.

• 57:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, why did we do that?

• 57:28Speaker 07

  Just weird.

• 57:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, weird.

• 57:30Speaker 06

  They usually are, that's what everyone joked about when I was there. They go, "Oh, thanks for coming here, because you're going to Australia." And I go, "Yeah, that's, is part of the route," you know?

• 57:38Andrew Santino?

  Auckland was cool, I loved Auckland.

• 57:39Speaker 06

  That was the, my, more than any other city in Australia, the nicest people I've ever met. I went to an All Blacks game.

• 57:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, it was soccer. Uh, no, no, I went to an All Blacks rugby game.

• 57:51Andrew Santino?

  All Blacks.

• 57:51Speaker 06

  Yeah. I, I, it's the All Blacks.

• 57:53Andrew Santino?

  You do the Hakka and all that shit?

• 57:54Speaker 06

  Fucking, and I sit down, and I get, they give us, like, courtside. Uh, did you guys, I wonder if you used the same people, probably, the Australian guy?

• 58:02Andrew Santino?

  Well, which guy? Shrimp?

• 58:04Speaker 07

  What's the promotion, promoters?

• 58:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, who's the promoters?

• 58:07Speaker 06

  Shrimp?

• 58:07Andrew Santino?

  Shrimp was one of the guy's names.

• 58:09Speaker 06

  I don't think that was him.

• 58:10Andrew Santino?

  Shrimp, right?

• 58:11Speaker 07

  That, yeah, that was our guy there.

• 58:12Andrew Santino?

  Shrimp's one of our dogs. Shrimp's the man.

• 58:14Speaker 06

  Did he bring you out, like, Sydney Harbor? Did he have a little boat he brought you on? He was the same one that Burt used. Where were they going? I forget their names.

• 58:20Speaker 07

  TEG, Dainty.

• 58:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Dainty, TEG, yeah.

• 58:23Speaker 06

  No, I don't think so.

• 58:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they were rad, though.

• 58:25Speaker 06

  Our guys were awesome.

• 58:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, apparently, when they had Burt, he brought Burt on his Sydney Harbor, like, and I guess Burt Kreischer was just sitting on a tube, and they had to have a little dinghy circle him to keep the sharks away from him for, like, two hours. So, he's just like, on the water, like that.

• 58:42Andrew Santino?

  Such an idiot.

• 58:42Speaker 06

  It's so funny. I, they brought us on the boat, and I was like, they're like, "Call a seafood platter," and I was like, "I don't feel like swimming, I'm good." I'm like, "I'm just chilling." I'm like, I, I didn't maximize Australia at all. But New Zealand was, like, the nicest. I sit down, Mabry guy sits next to me, huge, like, pushes me into my seat, and he goes, "Sore about that, mate." But they had, like, the sweetest voices. They'd be the biggest guy in the world, and he's like, "It's a good game, isn't it?" Like, it's really funny.

• 59:06Andrew Santino?

  They're sweet people.

• 59:07Speaker 06

  And I go, "Buddy," I go, it's like, "I'm gonna try and find the joy in this," and I was like, "Dude," I go, "I don't mind at all. Take up as much as you want, but I just need help. You need to explain the game to me." And the whole game, he was like, "Now, that's a scrum, this won't be any blah blah." And it was just such an awesome experience. Australia was great. It reminded me of America, but the people were just more Americanized than, like, Australia. New Zealand was very, like, polite and, and calm and stuff.

• 59:28Andrew Santino?

  New Zealand's great. We had, we had a, we didn't go to, uh, we went to an all-white game. We don't do all blacks.

• 59:35Speaker 06

  Did you?

• 59:36Andrew Santino?

  No, dude, we didn't know.

• 59:38Speaker 06

  Guess the name of their basketball team?

• 59:39Andrew Santino?

  All whites?

• 59:40Speaker 06

  No. The tall blacks.

• 59:42Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, tall blacks.

• 59:43Speaker 06

  It's not a joke.

• 59:44Andrew Santino?

  No, it's true, the tall blacks.

• 59:46Speaker 06

  The tall blacks, and it's just to play on the fact that they're all blacks.

• 59:49Andrew Santino?

  Tall blacks, tall blacks.

• 59:50Speaker 06

  And then we got the tall blocks.

• 59:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, tall blacks.

• 59:52Speaker 06

  You got a good New Zealand.

• 59:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, New Zealand. Yeah, you might as well, dude, if you're gonna have fun. I mean, we went to, no, not with you guys. My parents, we went to a Aussie Rules football, which, uh, holy fucking shit, dude.

• 1:00:03Speaker 06

  What does that mean, just more intense?

• 1:00:05Andrew Santino?

  Dude, it's impossible to figure out.

• 1:00:06Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:00:07Andrew Santino?

  It, it, it, you need to...

• 1:00:08Speaker 06

  Football meaning soccer, yeah?

• 1:00:08Andrew Santino?

  Uh, you, no, it's, it, it's like rugby, football, soccer combined.

• 1:00:12Speaker 06

  Whoa!

• 1:00:13Andrew Santino?

  Aussie Rules football was impossible to explain. I can't, I don't know what's going on. It was a massive circle. I couldn't, I can't, I don't know. We went. I bought tickets and we went in Melbourne.

• 1:00:24Speaker 06

  What other sports, gun to your head? I would say rugby. If you had to like officiate a game and not get anything wrong, or gun to your head, or you die.

• 1:00:32Andrew Santino?

  Not get anything wrong?

• 1:00:32Speaker 06

  No, no.

• 1:00:33Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit, dude.

• 1:00:34Speaker 06

  I think they currently can do that.

• 1:00:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Speaker 06

  Um, I would say like, if you had to know the rules for a game, gun to your head, I would say, I couldn't do rugby. Fucking cricket? The fu- you gotta hit a stick?

• 1:00:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, cricket, I don't, cricket, I don't understand. There's many days, I don't understand that.

• 1:00:47Speaker 06

  No gl- just grabbing it one handed?

• 1:00:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:49Speaker 06

  You know, like that, uh, yeah, rugby, cricket. What's the other ones?

• 1:00:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, Aussie Rules you wouldn't get. Aussie Rules was really tough to get.

• 1:00:56Speaker 06

  First time I ever heard of that.

• 1:00:57Andrew Santino?

  What is it? What are you looking it up?

• 1:00:58Speaker 07

  Um, yeah, it looks crazy.

• 1:00:59Andrew Santino?

  It's, i- i- i- it's, um, the poles, you know, the multiple poles they gotta kick through in the thing, and it, and mostly it's a lot of fucking kicking, and it's like kicking from different angles, and I was super good. Like, they'd cheer, so we just started cheering. But I was like, nothing looks like it happened.

• 1:01:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:15Andrew Santino?

  But I guess it did. Also...

• 1:01:17Speaker 07

  It looks hard.

• 1:01:18Andrew Santino?

  It look, it's, it's insane. Uh, if it was a sport that you could, what about a sport that you could know every call? That you know, that you would be very confident you could referee?

• 1:01:27Speaker 06

  Baseball.

• 1:01:28Andrew Santino?

  That's mine.

• 1:01:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, I would say, probably say baseball. I watch a lot of John Boy.

• 1:01:31Andrew Santino?

  I watch baseball. I'm, I watch it every day. I'm like...

• 1:01:35Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:01:35Andrew Santino?

  I think my wife is sick of it. During baseball season, it's on at the house in the background for, my MLB app is wide open.

• 1:01:40Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:01:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'm a diehard Cubs fan. I watch almost every game, cause my dad, me and my dad, my cousin text every day about...

• 1:01:47Speaker 06

  Ah.

• 1:01:48Andrew Santino?

  I just like it. It's like a, it's like a family binding thing, too. We always chat about it. But baseball's our number one.

• 1:01:54Speaker 06

  Is it?

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's not even close. It's my favorite.

• 1:01:56Speaker 06

  I, I love baseball videos. I used to watch more baseball. I used to go to Yankees games all the time. I went to this 2000 World Series, Subway Series. Game five, when the Yankees won at Shea. My dad last came, came, core memory. Comes home, two tickets, and I fucking freaked out, cried. Fat. I remember seeing the pictures later on, I'm like, let me see the picture of me and you, dad, at the game. I was like 12 years old, I was a fat kid, not even smiling, and I'm like, alright, I don't wanna see this. My memory of it was way better. But it was like, it was just so, so cool, and I just, there's a lot of memories to baseball with a lot of, I think, a lot of...

• 1:02:28Andrew Santino?

  For me, it's more like, yeah, I took my dad to the World Series. That's also, I looked like shit during that. I was filming, so I had like my massive beard, and I was all scraggly, and like, I looked like shit. So I'm like tired, cause I just got off the plane. So I look like a fat, swollen muff. You know, my dad's like, like, bright, like, well showered, you know what I mean?

• 1:02:45Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:46Andrew Santino?

  And I look like shit, so funny, and that's in our, in my parents' basement. I'm like, I wish it was a different photo. And I wish it was a better photo, too, cause it was like, cellphone to a guy before we walked in the game, like, hey, what are you talking about?

• 1:02:56Speaker 06

  But that's what, that's what I think adds the magic of it, dude.

• 1:02:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that it looks like shit. It does look like, it does, it does, it does. But no, uh, those have core memories to me forever of like on tour, going to games by myself, or bringing like a feature that I meet, cause I used to just go tour every baseball stadium. I've been to like I don't even wanna know. I used to collect a hat per stadium.

• 1:03:15Speaker 06

  Whoa.

• 1:03:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and I go, I, I don't even know. I'm probably only missing a handful, like, truly. New Yankee, no. No, New Yankee, no.

• 1:03:22Speaker 06

  I don't like the New Yankee stadium. The old one, dude, in the Bronx with the, the cobblestone streets.

• 1:03:26Andrew Santino?

  Everybody says that they don't like New Yankee.

• 1:03:28Speaker 06

  It's just corporate.

• 1:03:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but that was the way the world turned, you know what I mean? There's, there's, how many are left that are old?

• 1:03:33Speaker 06

  Right. Well, Wrigley, even now, is pretty fucking corporate looking.

• 1:03:37Andrew Santino?

  Outside of it, yeah, for sure.

• 1:03:38Speaker 06

  I remember living there. I lived two locks from Wrigley. I would, I would hear The Boss every summer, you know what I mean? From my roof, I would see baby, I was born to, lights go up.

• 1:03:47Andrew Santino?

  That's awesome.

• 1:03:48Speaker 06

  It was really cool. Uh, but I remember when it was at its like 2012, 2013, when I was there. I remember it being grimy. I remember bleachers, all the, the, the bars that were there that could, I don't know how, they just have like old leases that they were there, these old grimy bars.

• 1:04:04Andrew Santino?

  They've had them for years.

• 1:04:04Speaker 06

  And now, they got rid of all the streets. It's all like Times Square now, where it's like paved and vendors and, and this and that.

• 1:04:11Andrew Santino?

  They turned it into Gallagher Way, which is like a very like organized, it's bars and hotels.

• 1:04:15Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:04:16Andrew Santino?

  You know, they had to, they had to, because it became, it just, it's so popular to go.

• 1:04:21Speaker 06

  But there's, there's a beauty to like the old, like the old stadiums. I remember like the smells and like, even Shea. I would go and work for, at Shea Stadium in the summers, when I was like 12 years old, and I loved that fuck, the vibe.

• 1:04:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:33Speaker 06

  I loved all the old stuff. Yeah.

• 1:04:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, those days are, I mean, you know, it's, those days are dead and gone. You're not, you're not gonna get that, cause now super stadiums are gonna be built. Now every baseball stadium that's just gonna emulate what happened in football, which is, you have to build a mega venue, right? Like, we just did. We played, Bad Friends played at SoFi. They have a theater inside of SoFi Stadium. That was, how many people? I don't even know.

• 1:04:58Speaker 07

  It's like, here, let me look up the exact...

• 1:05:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you have to look it up.

• 1:05:00Speaker 07

  It's a YouTube theater.

• 1:05:01Andrew Santino?

  YouTube theater. There's a theater. This is insane. You wouldn't even know this if you've, you've never been to SoFi, I'm sure.

• 1:05:05Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:05:05Andrew Santino?

  But SoFi's incredible football stadium, but

• 1:05:08Speaker 07

  Six thousand.

• 1:05:08Andrew Santino?

  Six thousand seat theater inside of SoFi.

• 1:05:12Speaker 06

  Whoa!

• 1:05:12Speaker 07

  It's on one end of it, like, basically it would be under the bleachers.

• 1:05:15Andrew Santino?

  Under the bleachers, yeah. It's, it's underneath.

• 1:05:17Speaker 06

  Okay, so you, they gotta repurpose it?

• 1:05:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, because SoFi is underground, uh, it's not at street level.

• 1:05:24Andrew Santino?

  You enter SoFi, your street level of SoFi is like halfway up the stadium.

• 1:05:28Speaker 06

  Whoa.

• 1:05:28Andrew Santino?

  So it's all buried down. So all of that dead land around it in space was like, it's parking stuff, and then you know, what do you call it, like, transpost stuff?

• 1:05:37Speaker 06

  NFL offices.

• 1:05:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, offices, and there is a 6,000 seat theater in the basement, and we played it. It's crazy.

• 1:05:44Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:05:45Andrew Santino?

  And it's beautiful. Yeah, it was nuts. But this is the future, is like, they have to build these like

• 1:05:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:49Andrew Santino?

  multi-layer, you know, like if the Bears get a new stadium when they, when they go, they're gonna have to build something insane to make up for all that money it's gonna cost.

• 1:05:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:57Andrew Santino?

  To build these fucking things, you know? It's gotta be like, for concerts, which it always was, but it's gotta be really outfitted for like concerts, movies, live events, you know, touring.

• 1:06:09Speaker 07

  It's the most expensive theater in the world, or a stadium in the world at 5.5 billion dollars.

• 1:06:13Andrew Santino?

  SoFi?

• 1:06:14Speaker 06

  Wow!

• 1:06:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:06:15Andrew Santino?

  Dude, you gotta go once. It, it will blow your brain at how unbelievably beautiful it is. I mean, it's like, it's a ma- it's a engineering masterpiece. Like, it looks it looks like a spaceship, and then you go inside and it's stunning. There's like full the concourses have like full atriums of like, uh, trees and stuff growing by the, by the, um, concessions.

• 1:06:37Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:06:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're inside, cause you're indoor/outdoor. It's mind blowing.

• 1:06:40Speaker 06

  Oh, that's cool.

• 1:06:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, they did a good job, dude. The guy, they knew exactly what they were doing. But again, this is going to be the future. Your kids are never going to see old shitty troughs that you piss in.

• 1:06:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:06:50Andrew Santino?

  That's gone forever.

• 1:06:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's, it is kinda nice to know, that my child will not have to see a penis before he wants to.

• 1:06:56Andrew Santino?

  Correct.

• 1:06:57Speaker 06

  You know? If he wants to, he better not want to.

• 1:07:00Andrew Santino?

  You better not want to!

• 1:07:03Andrew Santino?

  I mean, that was such a moment as a kid, where you're like, your dad taught you how to piss out a trough, and he's like, you stare straight ahead, and you do not look anywhere else, and then when you're done, you waggle and put it in and walk away as fast as you can.

• 1:07:17Speaker 06

  Whoa. I wish I would've had that.

• 1:07:19Andrew Santino?

  Your dad was like, look at everybody's and make kissy sounds.

• 1:07:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:07:24Speaker 06

  Hey, pick your job on the floor, J G A.

• 1:07:26Andrew Santino?

  I did say, I did say one time, as a, like a young teen, you're still nervous to pee in those things.

• 1:07:32Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:33Andrew Santino?

  Even though you're becoming kind of a young man, and you like have confidence as like a 13, 14 year old.

• 1:07:37Speaker 06

  Yeah, but your dick is new.

• 1:07:38Andrew Santino?

  Your dick is too new.

• 1:07:39Speaker 06

  So new.

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  But it was cool to see other grown men's penises that were either comparable or smaller, cause I was like, oh, I'm doing fine.

• 1:07:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. Whoa!

• 1:07:48Andrew Santino?

  It was like a confidence boost.

• 1:07:49Speaker 06

  You saw grown men dicks, and you're like, I'm doing pretty good down there?

• 1:07:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:52Speaker 06

  Good for you, buddy.

• 1:07:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Well, cause not every grown man has a nice penis, dude. Some guys have little wieners, and you're like, bigger than that guy.

• 1:07:58Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:07:59Andrew Santino?

  At 14, I was like, that guy's got a little penis, dude.

• 1:08:01Speaker 06

  That sucked. Imagine, imagine he just saw that from the side of his eye, just some kid gained confidence.

• 1:08:06Andrew Santino?

  Some kid, the fuck? Jesus Christ. Dad, look at this guy's dick!

• 1:08:11Speaker 06

  I thought you said they get bigger when you get bigger. Mine's not done yet!

• 1:08:17Andrew Santino?

  He's 55 years old, yeah.

• 1:18:34Andrew Santino?

  I don't even know if that's what I said, but it was like that. It was like, hey, what's up?

• 1:18:38Speaker 06

  Cut to the footage, you go, hey, what's up fuckers?

• 1:18:41Andrew Santino?

  Beat my shit bitch, I'm punching.

• 1:18:44Speaker 06

  You forgot to pay the tab, you didn't give her any money.

• 1:18:46Andrew Santino?

  So calm fucking mood. And this guy's like, how many drinks have you had? And I was like, what? I'm like so absurdly like thrown off by this. And I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, we have to make sure everyone's okay to get on the flight. You seem like you've been drinking. I was like, no way dude. I was like, I was like, hey, man, I don't want to do this. This is crazy. I was like, what is going on? And he's like, well, we're trying to check everything. I go, all right, man. Have a good night. I was like, I'm out of here. I was like, this is nuts. And I walk on the plane and I was sitting there waiting for someone to get on the fucking plane. Cause a piece of me was like, get the cops. Get the cops.

• 1:19:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, and just be stone cold.

• 1:19:21Andrew Santino?

  No, no, cause I, cause I know. Yeah.

• 1:19:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:19:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, what's up dude? Bad friends. And I'll go, yeah. What the fuck is that about?

• 1:19:29Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:19:30Andrew Santino?

  I had one drink. Like I'm not, it's not like, dude, if I'm, if I had been over served, I'd feel bad about it and been like, shit dude, I was like, dude, I had one cocktail at dinner. And I was in a good mood and it's like, that guy bummed out my mood. But for a second, I thought, this is how it starts. He'll go. Yeah, he was acting erratic. You know what I mean? Like, how easily he could have lied into me being, and then I have to be like, I'm fine. What are we talking about? And then the whole plane is like, he's hammered.

• 1:19:55Speaker 06

  Yeah, they always see the clip from that.

• 1:19:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god. But it spun through my head as I'm at the desk. I go, what are you talk, I had one drink. What is going on? Like I leveled into like angry dad mode. Like I can hear my dad being like, excuse me? Like I, I leveled back to like, fuck you. I didn't do anything wrong. I'm in a good mood. Going on a plane, do what I'm trying to get to. That by the way, your fucking airline fucked me over. They turned my flight that was 1pm into 6am when I, it was insane. It was, I was like, I'm in the best mood I could be in, given the circumstances. Yeah, I was going to have fun. Anyway, Delta can eat my shit. No.

• 1:20:31Speaker 06

  Oh, it's Delta, huh?

• 1:20:32Andrew Santino?

  No, no, it's not, it's not a big deal. But I was like, I've never experienced that thing where I've seen online.

• 1:20:36Speaker 06

  It's a power trip. It was somebody.

• 1:20:37Andrew Santino?

  So wild.

• 1:20:39Speaker 06

  Have you ever worked in customer service?

• 1:20:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh dude, yeah.

• 1:20:41Speaker 06

  There's no better feeling than when you can't help somebody.

• 1:20:44Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 1:20:44Speaker 06

  When somebody calls and it's out of your reach, or it's out of your capability, or it's something that they didn't do on their end. There's nothing better than going, ah, I actually can't do anything about this.

• 1:20:52Andrew Santino?

  Can't do anything about that, man.

• 1:20:53Speaker 06

  So some people enjoy that part of it where they get to have that power.

• 1:20:56Andrew Santino?

  He had some power and I've worked in it for you. If, if somebody was nice to me, I'm on that ride. But if anybody was a dick to me, well, then I'm going to be a dick to you. But I was not a dick. That's why I thought, what a weird attitude change for them to be like, you've been drinking. It's like, well, yeah, I mean, I've, I'm going on an airplane.

• 1:21:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:21:11Andrew Santino?

  I was at the airport.

• 1:21:12Speaker 06

  I try and do the opposite, like the, the, the, the urge for anger in those situations. I try and go, I'm gonna make them feel bad about being mean to me by being super nice to them.

• 1:21:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:24Speaker 06

  And that always makes me feel better. That's something my wife actually taught me was kill them with kindness more than, and nine times out of 10, they're gonna feel like shit on their own time later on.

• 1:21:32Andrew Santino?

  If I was too kind, they'd be like, he is hammered.

• 1:21:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, and you'd be like, guys. Hey, hey. What were you doing earlier? Thinking about you, buddy? What are you doing? You know?

• 1:21:41Andrew Santino?

  This guy's blacked out.

• 1:21:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:43Andrew Santino?

  There was no winning in that situation, except for me walking away and being like, I had one drink. I'm, I'm not, this is insane.

• 1:21:48Speaker 06

  You ever had somebody, have you ever seen somebody that's wasted that's trying to be serious?

• 1:21:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, dude.

• 1:21:53Speaker 06

  Excuse me?

• 1:21:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know, do you know who you're talking to? Like that guy? No, I was, I was so normal about it, but I was just shocked as if I had stumbled up or like, I think it's only because I was late to the plane or I was after boarding.

• 1:22:06Speaker 06

  It's an embarrassing call out too.

• 1:22:08Andrew Santino?

  It was weird. It was very weird.

• 1:22:10Speaker 06

  It makes you feel like juvenile, makes you feel immature, like you couldn't handle.

• 1:22:14Andrew Santino?

  I'm a grown up. This is nuts. Also, by the way, I never, he knows this, I don't drink at airports. Like I don't, I don't ever drink. This was like the first time I was like, you know what? I'm with this lady. I'm going to Scotland. I'm gonna have one in the, you know what I mean? I'm gonna have one with dinner with this old cute lady I just met who I've given like nine, I'm like being such a sweet citizen.

• 1:22:32Speaker 06

  That was that guy's mom. He saw you.

• 1:22:35Andrew Santino?

  You were trying to fuck my mom in the lounge?

• 1:22:37Speaker 06

  Uh, sir, come back here for a second.

• 1:22:38Andrew Santino?

  It was crazy.

• 1:22:39Speaker 06

  How long did you talk to Trudy?

• 1:22:41Andrew Santino?

  It was so out of pocket, dude. And then I got on and the flight attendant was chatting with me and I told her the situation. She was like, really? I was like, yeah, I'm.

• 1:22:47Speaker 06

  Wild.

• 1:22:48Andrew Santino?

  She was like, you don't seem intoxicated. I was like, no, but when the doors close, you gotta get me a drink.

• 1:22:55Speaker 06

  Damn.

• 1:22:56Andrew Santino?

  I was like, you gotta, you gotta liquor me up now so I can go to bed.

• 1:22:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, there you go.

• 1:22:58Andrew Santino?

  Cause that guy killed my buzz. What a bummer. Yeah, it was a buzzkill. But I've never had that. I've seen it online. And it's given me anxiety when I watch those videos. Cause guys think they're not drunk and they're hammered.

• 1:23:09Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:23:09Andrew Santino?

  And you know what I mean? And the cops come like, buddy, you're gonna ruin the flight. You gotta get off the plane.

• 1:23:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, ah, I hate that. This is not America. And I'm like, no.

• 1:23:18Speaker 06

  Dude, I, it was funny. I just had a, I had a, a guy. I have like subreddits and stuff. And a guy messaged, like, he replied to, like, my wife made a post, I made a post. He replied to like five posts saying he didn't like my special. And I recognize that as, not somebody a fan, they're just looking for validation on my posts of somebody else going, I didn't like it either. Like he's just being a dick. So I just hit him up and I was like, hey, man, I see you keep commenting on all this shit, whatever.

• 1:23:43Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:23:44Speaker 06

  Uh, but maybe you should give it a shot. Cause it says that you only, you said yourself, you only watched the first three minutes of it. So maybe you watched the whole thing. It's, it's doing well. I was just like, you know what? I'm gonna kill him with kindness. He comes back at me and I go, and also, and I said this, cause I looked through his search history. He was like, he's a United pilot. I go, also, we all know United is the new spirit. And I just like, I, I, I had like one beer and I'm like, I'm gonna reply to this guy.

• 1:24:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:07Speaker 06

  And it loaded up, dude, like to him. I, so I shared my, I shared that with my wife. I looked at his profile that she messaged him and she's like, I made United Airlines aware of the way you're behaving on the internet. You're just fucking with him.

• 1:24:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:22Speaker 06

  How would we find him?

• 1:24:23Andrew Santino?

  No, but he probably thought it was real.

• 1:24:24Speaker 06

  He sent us a cease and desist on Reddit DMs.

• 1:24:28Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit.

• 1:24:29Speaker 06

  Full like chat GPT cease and desist. I go, not the chat GPT cease and desist. I go, buddy, when is jury selection? I'm having fun with him. And he keeps freaking out and sending more things like, I will ruin your career over this. If you dare attack. And I go, no, man. I go, this is very serious, dude. I, I, do you think that, what kind of judge you think you want? Like, I was like really getting into it. He goes, that's not, it's none of, that does not matter in the scope of things. And I'm like, he's flying planes.

• 1:24:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:57Speaker 06

  You know, that's what scares the shit out of me was, he was freaking out. And then I just looked at his profile two days ago and he was like freaking out about Indian people in America. I'm like, alright, this guy.

• 1:25:04Andrew Santino?

  If he thought you were Indian. He's like, this Arcuri Indian guy is my least favorite. It's Arcuri, it's Arcuri. It's Jeff Arcuri. That's why I hate you.

• 1:25:13Speaker 06

  Just my name phonetically sounds too Indian.

• 1:25:15Andrew Santino?

  Just too dumb to understand the difference. Yeah, no, I, I can't believe you engage in that. That's not.

• 1:25:19Speaker 06

  I never do. That's the thing is, I literally, me and my wife were talking. I was like, this is why we don't.

• 1:25:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, if somebody's like, you suck, you're not funny. I'm always like, okay, I.

• 1:25:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, and you can't give attention to them.

• 1:25:29Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I don't fucking, that's an insane, I, okay. You suck. Right on.

• 1:25:33Speaker 06

  Yeah. That's like somebody going up to art and be like, this is bad.

• 1:25:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, out loud. Well, also just don't watch it. No problem. Don't, I don't care anymore.

• 1:25:41Speaker 06

  I really, I don't feel it as much anymore. But I remember, I remember me and Jordan Jensen talked about it when we first started posting online that were like, we both agreed. We like handshake agreement, like do not reply to negativity.

• 1:25:52Andrew Santino?

  Can't.

• 1:25:52Speaker 06

  Because if you only reply to negativity, that's the only thing that are gonna be, people will just go, hey, you only respond when you're a dick to them.

• 1:25:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:59Speaker 06

  So, hey, you suck.

• 1:26:00Andrew Santino?

  Better to overly respond to people that say something nice. You're always like, oh, thanks, man.

• 1:26:03Speaker 06

  I skip past those. I look for the guys that are like, not that good. And I'm like, hey pal.

• 1:26:08Andrew Santino?

  I don't, I don't see any of that. I don't just mean like in the public setting. If someone says something nice and you know, they're like, hey, man, thanks. You got me through like a tough time. I'm always like, that's the coolest thing in the world.

• 1:26:16Speaker 06

  It is.

• 1:26:17Andrew Santino?

  Cause if you don't like me, I don't fucking care. You know, like there's restaurants I don't like. You know what I don't do? I don't go fucking eat at them anymore.

• 1:26:22Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:26:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's just like a simple, it's like.

• 1:26:24Speaker 06

  Isn't that funny?

• 1:26:24Andrew Santino?

  The idea is so simple that you're like, I don't like that. You're like, right on. So don't do that.

• 1:26:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:26:28Andrew Santino?

  Don't, don't do that anymore. Then, then go away.

• 1:26:31Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:26:31Andrew Santino?

  But the, the problem is they actually do like it. They enjoy the world of it. That's why they're involved. Otherwise, they would, otherwise, otherwise they wouldn't engage. They would be like, that's it. I don't, that's not for me. Like there's plenty of television I don't like. I'm never gonna go online and be like, you know what show sucks? Like nah, fucking don't watch it.

• 1:26:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, you just stop watching it and never bring it up.

• 1:26:49Andrew Santino?

  I didn't get through the first step. Your wife was Sopranos. She's not gonna make a Reddit thread about it. She does. How funny. I go home and I see it. It's just her Reddit thread about how much she hates Sopranos and the people who like it.

• 1:26:59Speaker 06

  Yeah. No, dude, I, she's one of those people that if I suggest things, if I suggest something one too many times, she won't do it because I suggested it so much.

• 1:27:07Andrew Santino?

  Just out of, yeah.

• 1:27:08Speaker 06

  I think we all do that.

• 1:27:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we do. Yeah. It's like, you're gonna love this. You're gonna love this. And you're like, I'm gonna hate it.

• 1:27:12Speaker 06

  If one more person tells me to watch The Odyssey, I'm never gonna see the rest of my life.

• 1:27:16Andrew Santino?

  We just went through this. Bobby, Bobby's like, I can't believe you won't go see it. And I'm like, I'm just not in a rush to see anything right now. Like I, that's all I was saying. I just don't care to go to the theater right now. He's like, you fu, and then finally he turns, turns on me and he goes, I don't want you to see it. Don't go see it. I was like, what are you, a child? Like that's so crazy.

• 1:27:34Speaker 06

  As if, as if you'd be like, whoa, how are you doing this right now? That's so funny. Yeah.

• 1:27:40Andrew Santino?

  I'm disappearing from the photo.

• 1:27:42Speaker 06

  That's every time I want her to watch something is if I push it too much. I try and get her to play video games a lot. It's like my Mecca is trying to get my wife to become my male best friend.

• 1:27:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just start dating guys, dude. Get over it. Leave your wife for a guy like you want.

• 1:27:55Speaker 06

  The sex I wouldn't mind. It's just the, the guys.

• 1:27:57Andrew Santino?

  It's the guys. It's the dirtiness of a man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're not, just the unkemptness of a man. Yeah.

• 1:28:03Speaker 06

  I don't wanna.

• 1:28:04Andrew Santino?

  The video game thing though, I, I, that, that, that's gonna be tough for your wife. She doesn't wanna do that.

• 1:28:08Speaker 06

  She is. She's been doing it.

• 1:28:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because you forced her to.

• 1:28:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:28:12Andrew Santino?

  Sickness and health in video games. What do you got her on? Uh, uh, GTA or whatever?

• 1:28:17Speaker 06

  No, what the hell?

• 1:28:18Andrew Santino?

  I don't, I don't play video games.

• 1:28:19Speaker 06

  You don't? Uh, there's a lot of like cozy games. Like we start a farm together and we like organize.

• 1:28:24Andrew Santino?

  What is Bobby does this?

• 1:28:25Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, Stardew Valley. He had the, Bobby had the creator on there. And my manager was telling me that he's like, I'd love to have you to meet him. I'm like, yeah. He's like, I've, I put in hundreds of hours into that game. So is my wife. Yeah, dude.

• 1:28:36Andrew Santino?

  I can't, I can't do video games. I don't, uh.

• 1:28:38Speaker 06

  I get into it. I get into the, uh, the, the strategy and the mathematics of a lot of the games.

• 1:28:42Andrew Santino?

  I used to love it when I was a kid and then I just got to a place where they, they got too advanced. And I was like, nah.

• 1:28:47Speaker 06

  There, there are a lot of games I don't play.

• 1:28:49Andrew Santino?

  They're too heavy. It's too much.

• 1:28:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, I can't sit there and be like, and pretend to play a single player game. Like where I'm like, oh my God, where, where do I have to go now? Like, sometimes I stop and I'm like, you're 38, what do you, you know?

• 1:29:01Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're pre-40 though. You're fine.

• 1:29:02Speaker 06

  You're not a pirate. You're not really the pirate. I, I start saying that to my head. And then I'm like, yeah, what am I doing? This is stupid. But online, the rush of like ruining another guy's day, fucking.

• 1:29:13Andrew Santino?

  You love that.

• 1:29:14Speaker 06

  I love like playing with friends and fucking other people up. Like, it's so fun. I'm trying to get her into that, but she freaks out. She doesn't like.

• 1:29:21Andrew Santino?

  She probably has other priorities.

• 1:29:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, I really gotta stop pushing video games on her. Cause I'll make her watch a video on my phone of a video game coming out and she'll, she'll do this. She'll go, wow, that's cool, hon. Like that. And I'm like, oh man, I'm showing a video to my mom right now.

• 1:29:37Andrew Santino?

  Good for you, Jeff. That's nice.

• 1:29:39Speaker 06

  I love that for you, babe. Like that, those ones.

• 1:29:42Andrew Santino?

  This is what you like to play?

• 1:29:46Andrew Santino?

  Get her off the video games, dude. Let her live her free life. Alright, listen dude, I love you. Thank you for coming on the show.

• 1:29:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, man, this is so fun.

• 1:29:52Andrew Santino?

  I appreciate you. I could drink a hundred more, but we both have to live real lives. Please go watch his special. It's available right now on Netflix.

• 1:30:00Speaker 06

  Please, guys.

• 1:30:02Andrew Santino?

  It's streaming now on Netflix and also he's on tour for the rest of his entire life.

• 1:30:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:30:08Andrew Santino?

  He's never gonna not be on tour. You can go get tickets at hotsexymanboy.com. Is that what it is?

• 1:30:15Speaker 06

  It's an org, but it'll still reroute to that.

• 1:30:17Andrew Santino?

  It'll reroute.

• 1:30:18Speaker 06

  jeffarcuri.com/AndrewSantino.

• 1:30:21Andrew Santino?

  Go to jeffarcuri.com, check out his tour, check out his special. Go see him live all over this beautiful country.

• 1:30:29Andrew Santino?

  And we end the show the same way. You look into that camera, you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. One word or a phrase.

• 1:30:34Speaker 06

  Pumpernickel.

• 1:30:37Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 1:30:42Speaker 03

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard!

• 1:30:44Speaker 04

  Sturdy ginger. Like that, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 1:30:48Speaker 05

  Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no.

• 1:30:55Speaker 03

  This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:31:03Speaker 00

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• 1:31:39Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the family holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, get a gift that'll cause a stir. A KitchenAid Stand Mixer. It's not just an appliance, it's a present to help them with the making. Year after year, recipe after recipe, you're enabling the family to whip up new traditions. 'Tis your season to mix it up. Gift a KitchenAid Stand Mixer this year and make more than meals.