Episode 169: SS Pendleton & SS Fort Mercer

what if boat sink, but twicecheck out TEN THOUSAND LOSSES: https://lmndrsn.podbean.com/ check out our TOUR (new dates added!):April 29: New York Cityhttps://sonyhall.com/events/well-theres-your-problem/?id=18162April 30: Somerville Masshttps://artsatthearmory.org/events/bill-blumenreich-presents-well-theres-your-problem-podcast-2/May 1: Somerville Mass (SOLD OUT!)https://thewilbur.com/armory/artist/wtyp/May 2: New York City (SOLD OUT!)https://www.ticketweb.com/event/well-theres-your-problem-sony-hall-tickets/13918973May 3: Washington DChttps://www.unionstagepresents.com/shows/well-theres-your-problem-podcast/May 4: Philadelphia, PAhttps://concerts.livenation.com/well-theres-your-problem-podcast-philadelphia-pennsylvania-05-04-2025/event/0200615211C27E44 see gareth on RAILNATTER: https://www.youtube.com/@GarethDennisTVOur Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wtyppod/ Send us stuff! our address:Well There's Your Podcasting CompanyPO Box 26929 Philadelphia, PA 19134DO NOT SEND US LETTER BOMBS thanks in advance in the commercial: Local Forecast - Elevator Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Three, two, one, mark. Okay, good.

• 0:04Liam McAnderson?

  Good enough.

• 0:06Liam McAnderson?

  Fuck me.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  Oh, November.

• 0:09November Kelly?

  I'm, I'm, I'm good. I'm good.

• 0:12Liam McAnderson?

  Those are your last words.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. The last thing damp has, has made it to your lungs.

• 0:17November Kelly?

  My, my final words will be, um, it'll, it'll probably go away on its own. It's fine. I don't mean to be a bother. And.

• 0:26Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 0:26Liam McAnderson?

  Yep. Yeah.

• 0:29November Kelly?

  I'm looking like I'm gonna be on course for that.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  So thi- this podcast has a, has a, has a massive international following and, and some of you might not be familiar with Britain. Let me just explain how I explain, how, let me just explain Britain in a way that I do to, to other international people like, you know, my, my wife's family and others. Imagine Britain is like the sponge that you leave by the side of the sink and forget about and don't squeeze for a week. It smells like that. It's got about the same consistency smell and texture and moisture content. And what it does to your lungs is what is this? Yes, is that?

• 1:01November Kelly?

  The only. This is, this is not why, it's not because the country has sick building syndrome. I, I live here. I'm, I'm adapted to that. I'm like one of those bacteria that grow on the inside of nuclear reactors. What, what happened is I went to see the Glasgow premiere of The People's Joker. Fantastic film. Vera Drew for president. However, and I will say, I will preface this by saying it was worth it. I believed that seeing The People's Joker got me the people's COVID.

• 1:28Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  I mean, you're not, you're not, you don't sound like Jordan Peterson. That's the thing. Got a bloody buckle, buckle, you know.

• 1:38November Kelly?

  Okay, so we've established a problem already in the opening minutes, which is that making me laugh is quite painful.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  Well, I gotta say, I, I, I wanna gripe about something, having, having spent, you know, about, about a, almost a month in the, the British Isles plus Ireland in the last year. Um, can you guys have a fucking dry toilet floor?

• 1:58Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  Has that ever?

• 1:59Liam McAnderson?

  What a sentence.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  The only one was in County Kerry. It's the only type place in the entire northwestern archipelago of Europe, whatever you wanna fucking call it, that I encountered a dry toilet floor.

• 2:09November Kelly?

  You will slit. I'm someone in, in like a kind of small minority here in that I can objectively compare the two and all I can say is that women's toilets are worse.

• 2:20Liam McAnderson?

  I completely buy that.

• 2:23Justin Roczniak?

  I've heard that's a common experience, yeah.

• 2:25Liam McAnderson?

  I had to, I had to clean toilets at one point in my life. And yeah, that is a, that's a true statement based on my limited experience.

• 2:33November Kelly?

  Women, women, women are fucking nasty.

• 2:36Justin Roczniak?

  Girls are gross. That's, that's why we don't let them in the treehouse.

• 2:43Justin Roczniak?

  No girls allowed.

• 2:45November Kelly?

  Grandfather dead.

• 2:53Liam McAnderson?

  Congratulations.

• 2:56Liam McAnderson?

  We're gonna give you a merit badge.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Everyone listening to this, this is Nova like 30% from illness and has destroyed all of us before we've even started the podcast, so.

• 3:11Liam McAnderson?

  This is gonna be Nova's flu game. This is gonna be the best podcast.

• 3:16Justin Roczniak?

  No, Nova's gonna hit a no hitter on LSD.

• 3:19Liam McAnderson?

  Pitch a no hitter on LSD. It's a lot easier to, to, to go over five with an LSD, I would imagine.

• 3:29Justin Roczniak?

  Welcome to, welcome to 10,000 Problems Podcast.

• 3:34Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Fuck you, right to Ricky Sanchez.

• 3:36Justin Roczniak?

  Oh my gosh, shut up.

• 3:41Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, it's a podcast about sports engineering with slides. I'm Justin Roczniak. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go.

• 3:52November Kelly?

  I'm November Kelly. I'm the person who's talking now. My pronouns are she and her. I love sports engineering because we're gonna find out why all the jerseys are fucked up now. Yay Liam.

• 4:01Liam McAnderson?

  Well, it's Fanatics' fault, but, uh, hi, yeah, yay Liam. Uh, my pronouns are he, him, death to rights to Ricky Sanchez. And we have, uh, yes, well, Gare's your problem, a podcast entirely about Gareth Dennis. I remember the joke.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  I have to be sheepish again, but f- f- fakely this time. Oh, no, it's not that. It's not that. Yeah, my name is Gareth Ennis. I am your temporary also co-host. My pronouns are he/him. And we have a guest.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, the one you bring on to ruin everything to just make chaos. My name's Tom Payne. You may know me from 10,000 Problems Podcast. What the fuck? What the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me?

• 4:45Justin Roczniak?

  Go again.

• 4:45November Kelly?

  Okay, well, yeah.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  All right. Hello, I'm fucking Tom Payne. I'm saying this for the third goddamn time. My pronouns are he/him. And we're here, we're here to talk about the retroactive, the case of Hassan Reddick. Maybe the first retroactive Heisman. Yeah, we're all wearing Hassan Reddick jerseys.

• 5:06November Kelly?

  That's true. I don't, I don't know why you gave me this. It took a lot of foresight to like mail this to me.

• 5:14Speaker 00

  It was the, the, what the shame was the dead, the dead drop I made in Glasgow. Must have been intercepted by Ned's and.

• 5:23November Kelly?

  I, I still can't believe you were in Glasgow and I fucked up arranging to do anything. Like, that, that, that's like a, gonna be a source of deep shame to me is the thing.

• 5:35Speaker 00

  Well, you'll make it up by shooting guns at Buck Scam. How about that?

• 5:38November Kelly?

  Hmm, hell yeah. Which we're gonna do.

• 5:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 5:42November Kelly?

  In the course of the, well, there's your problem, northeast corridor. We probably can't say northeast corridor.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  They don't have that fucking trademark, do they?

• 5:51Justin Roczniak?

  Northeast corridor. Yeah, no.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Trademark it now, trademark it now.

• 5:54November Kelly?

  Which, which, which we're, which we're gonna promote some more. May 1st, we're gonna be in Somerville, Massachusetts. May 2nd, we're gonna.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  Go ahead.

• 6:03November Kelly?

  Okay, May 2nd, we're gonna be in New York City, New York. May 3rd, we're gonna be in Washington DC. May 4th, we're gonna be in God's own country, Philadelphia. Pennsylvania.

• 6:16Justin Roczniak?

  And possibly some other dates because Somerville is sold out.

• 6:19Liam McAnderson?

  By the time this announces, by the time this goes up, Somerville or Boston will be, the second show will be on sale. We could say that. Tickets hopefully available.

• 6:31November Kelly?

  Yep. Yep. Yep. My, my, my physical appearance in all of these is contingent on me surviving whatever the hell kind of COVID this is and on the United States Customs and Immigration Service. However, I hope to, I'll be very excited if I do. We are, we are some things planned. Not least me going out to Bucks County to shoot bottles and cans off a fence. Did the fucking Zen cast.

• 6:58Liam McAnderson?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna redacted your fucking offices and all your friends.

• 7:03Justin Roczniak?

  Keep going. If, if, if the audio recording of the man in front of you.

• 7:07Liam McAnderson?

  I don't know what else we can do.

• 7:09Justin Roczniak?

  Drops out, pick up the recording and keep going.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  I've got the lounge music play, the WTYP lounge music playing in my head right now. That's, that's, that's the current situation. We'll be right back.

• 7:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Yeah. So I guess we just rely on the local for now and I'll attempt to investigate what the hell is going on at the end of this recording.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  I, yeah. I mean, it's, it still shouldn't just, this, it's no one's fault except Zen casters really. This shouldn't be, it shouldn't be this unstable.

• 7:41Speaker 00

  If Zoom can do it.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 7:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 7:46Liam McAnderson?

  Oh shit. Don't worry about that.

• 7:48November Kelly?

  I'm getting, you're getting killed.

• 7:49Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. No, I'm not getting killed. The guy who just came into my living room is about to.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Meet an untimely demise.

• 7:57November Kelly?

  Doing the Kamala Harris thing of being like, I used, you know, I keep a Glock or whatever, what she said.

• 8:03Liam McAnderson?

  No, it's a Remington 870 because I'm an adult.

• 8:06November Kelly?

  Hell yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 00

  Liam's about to exercise castle doctrine.

• 8:12Justin Roczniak?

  So anyway, uh, so now that we're 20 minutes into technical difficulties, but theoretically going now. Um, yeah, uh, are we giving Hassan Reddick a retroactive Heisman?

• 8:25Liam McAnderson?

  Fuck you Notre Dame.

• 8:26November Kelly?

  I barely know what any of those words mean.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Devin, fix it. Cut their mics Devin. Get, get, get, move, but no. Let's get a dog, let's do the dog gam news. Yeah, okay, that's fine.

• 8:37November Kelly?

  The dog gam news. The dog gam news. Like, um, like 1950s pinup, like anthropomorphic dogs legs.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  God damn, it's the news.

• 8:46Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  It's the dog gam news with the names.

• 8:49Justin Roczniak?

  It's the dog gam news.

• 8:51Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, please, sweet, merciful God, let this end soon.

• 8:57Justin Roczniak?

  This is, this is the last episode before the election happens, but will be released after the election is over. So we can go hog wild here and tell, tell people all kinds of awful things, make terrible predictions. Let's go. I hate this fucking election so much. My phone's been unusable for four months.

• 9:16Liam McAnderson?

  Your phone was already unusable, dude.

• 9:18Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, but it's worse.

• 9:21November Kelly?

  I'm, I'm fascinated to even consider the phone situation you have going on.

• 9:26Liam McAnderson?

  It's like stuck in high contrast text in the keyboards massive.

• 9:31Justin Roczniak?

  I don't, I don't know how to fix that.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Why do you do this to technology, Ross?

• 9:34November Kelly?

  I'm envisioning a kind of, a kind of screen crack, the likes of which has never occurred at any other piece of glass anywhere in the world.

• 9:43Justin Roczniak?

  It just got its first crack like a month ago.

• 9:45Liam McAnderson?

  He's good about that. It's just that like, he uses his phone in a manner divorced from reality, right? Uh, where he's just like, yeah, like I see him go on Twitter and I'm like, okay, that like, that's a normal fucking thing to do. And then he brings up his keyboard and I'm like, I'm out, I'm good. Like this, there's no, there's no life form on this planet or any other that can understand what the fuck is going on here.

• 10:05November Kelly?

  This cannot be my homeboy.

• 10:08Justin Roczniak?

  I just wanted to talk about the election in Pennsylvania. It's been miserable for everyone. This is the worst thing you can experience.

• 10:15November Kelly?

  I, I, I understand there is an election going on in parts of the US that are not Pennsylvania, but I also understand that that doesn't matter.

• 10:22Justin Roczniak?

  It doesn't matter. You as a Pennsylvanian, uh, your vote counts for like 50,000 votes in Manhattan, or like 75,000 votes in Wyoming. So every single canvasser, every single phone banker, every single, like, everything in the country is aimed directly at you. And you've just get a barrage of mailers and like text messages.

• 10:49November Kelly?

  It's such a fucking relief that this, this, this comes out after the election and so for, for, for worse or more worse, it's over and I don't have to tell people to like vote or not vote. I, uh, people are still gonna get mad at me anyway. Regardless of what happens, but like I, I don't have to have a take because either, uh, everything is, continues to be bad roughly at the rate that it was, or it's worse. Um, so yeah, great, fantastic.

• 11:19Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  As, as I was gonna say, as a Bucks County resident, who is basically my camp, my vote is gonna decide the election, so you can praise me for that, but I'm just, I'm just waiting.

• 11:30November Kelly?

  And you're voting for Jill Stein, right?

• 11:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, absolutely. I'm just, I'm just waiting for, uh, Dr. Brother Cornell, of course. Uh, no, I'm, I'm waiting, I'm waiting for, to look out my window and see the fucking Bucks County courthouse on fire.

• 11:43November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  And I'll just know it's go time. All right, that's it.

• 11:47November Kelly?

  I mean, they've, they've, they've been setting ballot boxes on fire already. So like, it's a short, it's a short walk.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  Don't do that. That's, that's. Trump, Trump is suing Bucks County. Like, when I, when I see my county and fucking Elon Musk is tweeting about, tweeting about it, I, I am, I, I can't say what I wanna say right now, but.

• 12:03November Kelly?

  Didn't, didn't, I mean, possibly relatedly, didn't you guys, and by you guys, I mean Bucks County, try to kill him and miss?

• 12:11Speaker 00

  No, that was Butler County. That was Butler County.

• 12:14November Kelly?

  Okay.

• 12:15Speaker 00

  That's out by, uh, one of those, yeah. Uh, isn't that out, out past like?

• 12:19Liam McAnderson?

  Listen, man, if it's, if it's west of York, I don't give a shit about it.

• 12:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's not Le Do, Le County Dauphin, you know?

• 12:26Liam McAnderson?

  Dolphin County. Dolphin County. You know it. I know you know it.

• 12:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, do, welcome to, welcome to York Dauphin Station.

• 12:34November Kelly?

  The bit of Pennsylvania having a time share with Quebec.

• 12:38Speaker 00

  We're in a condominium with Saint Pierre and Michel.

• 12:43Liam McAnderson?

  That's why, that's why Wildwood exists, all the Quebecois can come and ruin my fucking beach.

• 12:49Liam McAnderson?

  I, I will say, I'm like, I am, should be no surprise who I'm voting for. I'm, I'm.

• 12:55November Kelly?

  Yeah, Jill Stein.

• 12:56Liam McAnderson?

  Of course. Uh, but I am, I am so goddamn sick. I, and I know people are gonna be in the comments like, eh, it's the most important, I know, I know how important this election is. Shut the goddamn hell up. Stop calling my cellphone.

• 13:07Speaker 00

  I already, I already voted. My shit is fucking in the box. Please stop.

• 13:11Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, don't bomb.

• 13:11Justin Roczniak?

  Stop calling me.

• 13:12Liam McAnderson?

  Ballot boxes, though. Those are, that's federal, baby. The US Postal Inspection Service can't wait to nail your dick to the floor.

• 13:18Justin Roczniak?

  Don't, stop emailing me. Stop calling me.

• 13:22Liam McAnderson?

  His wife.

• 13:23Justin Roczniak?

  Stop texting me. Stop emailing my wife.

• 13:27November Kelly?

  Stop, stop. This, this period of you massering to, to federal politics has to end.

• 13:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  I look, wanna be insignificant.

• 13:34Justin Roczniak?

  We just need, we need to flip a coin and determine whether Pennsylvania is a red or blue state and just be done with it. Um, cause no one wants this.

• 13:46November Kelly?

  And the thing is, it's, it's like a traveling roadshow. It's gonna go on to the next swing state. It's gonna be, I mean, it already is in like Wisconsin and Georgia and Michigan. Uh, but the, you know, if, if the demographics hold, then, you know, after whatever kind of like Trump gutter dammering, it'll be like fucking South Carolina or whatever, you know?

• 14:05Justin Roczniak?

  Virginia.

• 14:07November Kelly?

  Yeah. So it, it never ends. It never fucking ends unless Trump wins and the, you know, the world does in fact end.

• 14:15Speaker 00

  The, the Trump gutter among, or however you fuck you say it, that's a great mod for HOI.

• 14:19Liam McAnderson?

  No, it's not. Uh, I will say, uh, on, on one small little nibble of good election, uh, Sarah.

• 14:27November Kelly?

  Trumper dammering.

• 14:30Liam McAnderson?

  Sarah McBride, the first, uh, openly transgender, uh, member of Congress, if she wins, is running in Delaware. And she runs an ad that's the only good political ad, which is all the unions who back her. Uh, and my favorite one is the last. One, it's the sheet metal workers, but she's like Sarah's endorsement, like teachers, like nurses, you know, all these, all these union workers. And then they go sheet metal workers like really loud directly into the mic. And it's just the three like guys in their 50s being like sheet metal workers. And it's the only good bit of politics I have like.

• 15:02November Kelly?

  The last, the last three guys in America who know how to make this specific like shape of sheet metal, or they're all woke is the thing. You wouldn't have guessed, but they are.

• 15:12Justin Roczniak?

  The good news is when the three of us single handedly pushed Jill Stein over 5% of the popular vote, owing to our oversized Pennsylvania voting power, uh, the Green Party will get federal matching funds and immediately tear itself apart, much like the Reform Party did.

• 15:31Liam McAnderson?

  Ross Perot, you stupid asshole.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Provisional Green Party, the original Green Party, the.

• 15:39Justin Roczniak?

  The real Green Party.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  Party, yeah. The workers, the workers, Green Party.

• 15:45Liam McAnderson?

  Brackets, Roz.

• 15:48Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, that's when I run for Green Party.

• 15:50Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I, I listen. You heard it here first, folks. It's fucking, it's, it's amazing because like I said, we are, I, I cannot think of the last time I saw an ad that was not for either draft fucks.com or a, or a political ad. I'm just like, I, I, I, I just want, not a big fan of Bob Casey, but I do want him to take Dave McCormick out back like a dog. See, I didn't put, I didn't put an actionable there. I didn't put an actionable there.

• 16:13November Kelly?

  I'm sure, I'm, I'm, I'm sure that like Gareth will agree with me on this one.

• 16:17Justin Roczniak?

  Take him out like a dog for a nice game of fetch.

• 16:19Liam McAnderson?

  That's it. That's what I'm doing. I hope they have a nice time. I can say that. That's not actionable.

• 16:23November Kelly?

  Even from outside the US, this is both exhausting and terrifying to watch. And I simultaneously feel that this election has been going on for 18,000 years and also, uh, like a minute. It genuinely, I feel like the, the, there's only like 13 sleeps. Until we find out who the new president is shit has got me fucked up psychically.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  So, so at a state level, okay, loads of activity, fine, fine, fine. But the thing that struck me is how low energy it feels from the leadership of both, you know, potential.

• 16:55November Kelly?

  Trump, Trump, Trump has PTSD. He has trauma.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that's right.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, we should be sensitive to that trauma.

• 17:01November Kelly?

  No, shut up. That's, that's right. Yeah, I want to do, I want, I, I hope he gets some like exposure therapy for it.

• 17:07Speaker 00

  Oh, that was genius.

• 17:12November Kelly?

  Kamala, Kamala, she's, she, she's just kind of, uh huh. She, she's just kind of a not around.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're, yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah. It's just baffling and.

• 17:24November Kelly?

  You, you, Tim Walz is doing, is doing Twitch streaming, which I mean, I don't recommend that shit for anyone.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, gamer, e-girl, uh, Tim Walz win.

• 17:34Liam McAnderson?

  Don't say those words in that order.

• 17:35November Kelly?

  Hot time stream.

• 17:36Justin Roczniak?

  Well, Waltz was, uh, Waltz was doing great until, uh, people started giving him advice.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, geez.

• 17:43November Kelly?

  And you know who those people were?

• 17:45Justin Roczniak?

  Labor.

• 17:46November Kelly?

  The fucking Labour Party from Britain. We came over here and we were like, listen, you gotta do two things. You gotta get much weirder about trans people and you gotta wet every bathroom floor.

• 17:59November Kelly?

  It's, it's, it's, it's like let every, like, uh, you know, lift every voice and sing wet every bathroom floor.

• 18:04Liam McAnderson?

  I don't like that too.

• 18:04November Kelly?

  And slip.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  I don't even know if the wet bathroom floor joke is in this version of the podcast that we've recorded six times already.

• 18:11November Kelly?

  I have no idea. I don't know. I don't, I don't do these jokes for them. I do these jokes for us.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  And you know what? I'm glad of it. You know what? I'm gonna end this news segment by, by, by simply saying that I look forward to the WTYP episode on liberal democracy. It'll be a bonus. Look forward to that one in the future. Cause my god.

• 18:29Justin Roczniak?

  It'll have to be a bonus.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  I'll just say, I'll just, I would just like to say, county carry, come here. We have the driest jacks in all the Ireland.

• 18:37Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, that was dreadful.

• 18:41Speaker 00

  Liam, how's your Irish accent? How does it do?

• 18:44Liam McAnderson?

  I don't insult my own people.

• 18:46Speaker 00

  Come on, do the accent.

• 18:47Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, you want me to do an accent? I'll fucking do an accent, buddy.

• 18:51Justin Roczniak?

  Fiddly deep.

• 18:52Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, this will be the accent. This is, this is the accent that I put on when I, I wanted, uh, what's, what's the nuclear self Holocaust button? I guess.

• 19:01November Kelly?

  This, this is, I, I think a lot about the, the, the Sinn Fein guys who had to come over to the US to raise money for more car bombs or whatever. And they had to put up with this shit every day they were there.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  I, I, I still remember, uh, like a, like a flashbulb memory, me sitting next to Gareth and me doing, do, do, you know, the long direction, you know? And just the cringe on his face. It was, it was, it was like, it was like I genuinely harmed his soul.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  And we'll have to do it again. Anyway, uh, yeah, no, let's, let's, let's put the electoral college and its insanity to one side because I'm sure the result will happily represent the majority of the American people.

• 19:42Liam McAnderson?

  Fuck them.

• 19:42November Kelly?

  And will be accepted non-violently by, uh, you know, by, by Trump's people.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Yes. Oh, yeah.

• 19:50Justin Roczniak?

  In other news.

• 19:55Liam McAnderson?

  He, I think a lot.

• 19:57Justin Roczniak?

  I think the first time he's been happy in his life was working in McDonald's.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  This is the second time. The first time was when he had the hamburger.

• 20:05Justin Roczniak?

  When I had the hamburgers with the big football players.

• 20:08Speaker 00

  When he had that.

• 20:10November Kelly?

  Donald, Donald Trump, Donald Trump just wants to live a kind of like suburban existence. All the times when he's happiest have been this, uh, the like also fast food connected football player burger thing.

• 20:23Justin Roczniak?

  Talking about, talking about musical theater, talking about Arnold Palmer's dick.

• 20:27Speaker 00

  Talking about fashion.

• 20:29November Kelly?

  When, when, when he, when he sees a big guy in the audience.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:32Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:34November Kelly?

  And I, I, I think the most, the most like allegiac Trump quote is when, uh, he, he was looking at some trucks and he said, I could just take one of those and just drive off into the distance. My life, my life used to be great.

• 20:49November Kelly?

  Get this man a heavily financed Ford pickup truck and a job managing a McDonald's franchise.

• 20:57Justin Roczniak?

  You think, you think Trump could drive a semi? You think Trump could be an owner operator?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  I do not think that, no.

• 21:03November Kelly?

  I, I, I don't like this American Truck Simulator DLC. I don't like it.

• 21:09Speaker 00

  It's like Trump busting out like a fucking Siegfried Sassoon fucking ass poem. Just really...

• 21:16Justin Roczniak?

  Trump has a future in like rapid logistics because if he becomes an owner operator while president, uh, the Secret Service will have to clear a way for him the whole way.

• 21:30Speaker 00

  Where's this, where's this McDonald's if you, if you, if, uh, you're wondering?

• 21:34November Kelly?

  It was, it was, it was this weird like Potemkin McDonald's because it wasn't open. It was only open for him to work there.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's the fucking fatal soul McDonald's of goddamn Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Please leave.

• 21:46November Kelly?

  That's, this is already surreal. Like, I can't imagine how much more surreal it is to see Trump at like my McDonald's.

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, I'm no fucking lower county guy, so, but...

• 21:57November Kelly?

  No, knowing that if you order like a McFlurry there, his hands may have been on the like McFlurry machine.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  Are they big enough to hold the cup? You know, it's, it's...

• 22:07Justin Roczniak?

  So far, I've had the street behind my house blocked off by Mike Pence, Joe Biden, and as of last week, Tim Walz. So...

• 22:19Speaker 00

  As, as, I just imagine, you know, uh, the lower part of Bucks County being settled by William Penn. And he's really trying to find his green country town and, and in the state to escape away from the madness and have religious freedom. And, you know, two, three hundred and fifty fucking years later, you got a guy like,

• 22:36Justin Roczniak?

  "Look at these Amberders. They're so good."

• 22:38November Kelly?

  It's, it's like the end of...

• 22:39Justin Roczniak?

  I didn't know they made them back here.

• 22:41November Kelly?

  It's like the end of From Hell as he's signing the treaty. He gets a flash forward into the future. "The 21st century, for better or worse, I have delivered it."

• 22:50Speaker 00

  That's why he went back to fucking England. He's like, "Fuck this shit."

• 22:55November Kelly?

  "I need, I need to go back to somewhere where the bathrooms are wet."

• 23:00Speaker 00

  Are the bathrooms wet in Buckinghamshire?

• 23:04November Kelly?

  Oh, almost certainly.

• 23:05Liam McAnderson?

  We'll fight them in the puddles.

• 23:08November Kelly?

  Home counties bathroom?

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's it.

• 23:11November Kelly?

  At a pub that you have to drive to and drive from?

• 23:15Speaker 00

  The wet bathroom line was there during World War II.

• 23:22Speaker 00

  We will stop the Germans by having a wet bathroom. They will not be able to advance any further than this line.

• 23:28Speaker 03

  No, let's be quiet.

• 23:29November Kelly?

  This is your German guy being like, I must clean this bathroom before we advance any further. Because it is disgusting and if you leave it, it is going to get mould.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  Oh, see, I was thinking the only other nationality.

• 23:41Liam McAnderson?

  I'll know, I cannot see the book when I make.

• 23:44Speaker 00

  Talking about white.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  The only other nationality that is up for a wet floor would be the Germans, surely. You know, they're into that kind of mucky shit, you know, so.

• 23:55Justin Roczniak?

  No, no, I mean, because they're like, they're like, everything has to be, everything has to be completely sterile, like, all the time. Except when they're doing sex stuff and then you get pissed and pooped on, you know?

• 24:08Speaker 03

  I am so glad, Roz, that it was you who took us there. Beautiful, beautiful. Should I bring out the Szechuan sauce? Do you want me to bring out the Szechuan sauce?

• 24:19November Kelly?

  I didn't, I didn't, I didn't. I didn't know Trump was German.

• 24:24Liam McAnderson?

  I haven't seen that hat a minute, yeah.

• 24:26November Kelly?

  Because of the pee tape.

• 24:28Justin Roczniak?

  Which is real. The pee tape was real. 2016 liberals, we've become 2016 liberals.

• 24:33November Kelly?

  That's the funniest possible, like, November surprise, I guess. I don't like calling it that, but like, late October surprise would be pee tape real.

• 24:43Justin Roczniak?

  The only thing, I would get the hat back out. I would get, I would get the hat back out and I'd wear it all day.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  The only thing that makes that like slightly less German is, I think the video was allegedly filmed in Moscow, which no German has ever set foot on, so.

• 24:57Justin Roczniak?

  It's a good point, it's a good point.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Scoreboard, baby.

• 25:02Speaker 00

  Yep, count the rings.

• 25:04Justin Roczniak?

  My favorite part about this was Trump being so happy to find out at a McDonald's, no human hand touches the fries.

• 25:12Speaker 00

  Oh, that's right. Yeah.

• 25:13November Kelly?

  He has this gift for the poetic. You know, in anything he does, he's like, were he not the awful, awful human being that he was? He could have been our like civilizations Homer, you know?

• 25:26Justin Roczniak?

  I was about to say, I, I'm.

• 25:28November Kelly?

  No hand touches the fries is like wine dark sea. You know, within it, it evokes a whole way of not just seeing the world, but a whole method of being, you know?

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Oh, for a muse of fries.

• 25:46November Kelly?

  Sing muse of the Bucks County McDonald's.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  A Buck, alright, uh, the, uh, a McDonald's for a stage, Trump's to act. And prisoners behold the swelling scene, then should the warlike Trump, he like himself, assume the port of Mars and at his heels. I don't remember the rest.

• 26:12November Kelly?

  Yeah. So this guy's, this guy's president now, maybe I, like 50 50 chance.

• 26:16Justin Roczniak?

  50 50 chance. Yeah. I don't know.

• 26:18November Kelly?

  Maybe, listen, either way, he's, either way, he's getting punished. They're taking him out of the McDonald's and they're either taking him to prison or the White House and he hates both of those things. So.

• 26:28Justin Roczniak?

  Every political prediction I've ever made is wrong, so I'm going to say he wins.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. Yep.

• 26:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 26:37November Kelly?

  I'm, I'm holding you to this. Like Devon, please put up either like, you know, confetti, that the sound, sound drop of all the kids cheering, uh, like, you know, smile, like crying, laughing. Justin is right or like various wamps and like buzzers and, and so on. If, if, if Justin is wrong.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  And, and drop the Eagles fight song if civil war starts.

• 27:07November Kelly?

  This is my fight.

• 27:11November Kelly?

  That's what the fight song is, right?

• 27:12Justin Roczniak?

  Um. On the road to victory, anyway.

• 27:15Speaker 00

  Fight, fight.

• 27:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Alright, alright, alright, alright, listen, that was the doggone news.

• 27:25November Kelly?

  Uh, it's a shame about the Civil War, you know, fewer listeners to, to, to hear all this.

• 27:30Justin Roczniak?

  Well, hopefully, hopefully, this comes out the day after, I'll be fine.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  None of them are gonna fight.

• 27:35Justin Roczniak?

  Hogs, rise up.

• 27:37Speaker 00

  Prove me, prove me wrong, listeners.

• 27:39November Kelly?

  I think, I think it would be cool if I, like, you know, sort of hauled off and got killed in the Second American Civil War. Like, one of these, like, one of these weird guys who, like, went to fight in the first one, you know, I just end up, like, you know, face down in a ditch in, like, you know, uh, Kansas or whatever.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  You could be like Giuseppe Garibaldi and like, and like, you know, uh, Kamala Harris, please, I, I will, I will fight in the American Army, but you have to make me the, the Army Chief of Staff. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look into getting, uh, Polish citizenship.

• 28:09November Kelly?

  The, like, August Villach thing of being like, I'm gonna raise a regiment of, like, communists, uh, and then, you know, I also will be a communist and I'm gonna fight for a bunch of, like, the slightly less worse, uh, like, you know, American libs. And I'm gonna be like, you guys should look into this communism thing at some point, and they go, yeah, yeah, sure.

• 28:27Liam McAnderson?

  I do look forward to, uh, if the, if, if Kamala Harris wins, the, uh, the absolute dunks we're gonna get from the resist lib, uh, wine moms.

• 28:36November Kelly?

  Oh, that, that, listen, I will allow myself a brunch. I will be brunching with them.

• 28:40Justin Roczniak?

  You have a couple brunches, yeah, that's a good idea.

• 28:43November Kelly?

  Bottomless mimosas.

• 28:45Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, we're not allowed to have that in Philly, except in very specific circumstances because the P L C B fucking ruined everything.

• 28:50November Kelly?

  Technically, if I have mimosas, they're not bottomless, but like, you know.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  Is this a, is this a sex thing or, uh?

• 28:56November Kelly?

  Uh, yeah, yeah, it was a sex thing.

• 28:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, everyone's a fucking top at this goddamn brunch.

• 29:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, that's why I was, yeah, quite. It's all I'm just confused because I've spent all day watching my wife Dom Lord Hendy. So I.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  Anyway, I'll wait. It's the fuzz. They're after us.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  That was a perfectly timed.

• 29:17Liam McAnderson?

  All right. How is boat formed?

• 29:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, sorry. There's pictures on screen and what's on the left. Those Liberty ships. We're looking for the audio.

• 29:26November Kelly?

  The USS we built this yesterday.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  The USS John W. Brown, the USS John E. Brown, the USS John A. Brown, like it's just in a row.

• 29:36November Kelly?

  Yeah, the USS Aaron A. Aronson and then it goes all the way through.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  These ships famous for their build quality, I believe. Although that's foreshadowing.

• 29:44Liam McAnderson?

  We fixed it. We fixed it.

• 29:48November Kelly?

  Fucking SS Richard Montgomery is still down there. It's still down there. Future episode. Future episode and then slightly later in the future, much longer episode.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Yes. And we're looking at two aerial photographs, right? Black and white aerial photographs. They look fortiesy.

• 30:05Justin Roczniak?

  Tom, you wrote these slides. You're gonna have to lead us here.

• 30:07Speaker 00

  I did. So how is boat formed is the question.

• 30:11Justin Roczniak?

  How is that? How is booty formed?

• 30:12Liam McAnderson?

  Are we? Are we sitting crisscross applesauce everybody?

• 30:15Speaker 03

  I'm all snuggled up. Yeah, let's do this.

• 30:17Speaker 00

  How shipyard get Praggnert?

• 30:21Speaker 00

  The zoomers will not be getting that.

• 30:25November Kelly?

  Riveting stuff.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're gonna get there. We're gonna talk about rivets.

• 30:31Liam McAnderson?

  We have a.

• 30:32November Kelly?

  The COVID variants in my brain are funny.

• 30:37Justin Roczniak?

  They are.

• 30:39Speaker 00

  You got a you got the chuckle stream. Um, so, so how is boat formed? Boat, boat is formed at shipyard. And we have, we have two shipyards here that will be relevant to the subject of this episode. Cause we just fucking faked you out. It's not about Hassan Reddick, you fucking losers.

• 30:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I was about to say.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  Well, he comes to the plate. You know what? Someone, someone find the connection between these two ships. And we're gonna be talking about the SS Fort Mercer and SS Pendleton, uh, two, two ships. And two boats.

• 31:11November Kelly?

  Two ships.

• 31:13Liam McAnderson?

  A like and dignity.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  A like and make as well.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Wait a minute, if we're talking about two ships, then we usually only talk about one event. Does that mean the two ships become one set? Oh, okay, right. I don't like where this is heading.

• 31:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:28Justin Roczniak?

  No, the two ships actually become three ships.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, that actually does happen.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Okay, roll dear.

• 31:36November Kelly?

  Now there's two of them?

• 31:38Speaker 00

  Star Wars prequel reference. Yeah.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, so boats reproduce asexually.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  That's only kind of true if some of the rivet gun guys are fucking each other, then you know.

• 31:55Speaker 00

  I'm gonna give you a hot rivet. Alright.

• 31:59Liam McAnderson?

  Keep it together, goddammit.

• 32:00Speaker 00

  Jesus Christ, yeah, it's already like an hour. And we're on slide four. So on the left is Swan Island Shipyard in Portland, Oregon. So that's where the Pendleton was born. And on the right is Chester County. At the Sun Shipbuilding and Dry Duck Company. Hey, we talked about that shipyard before on the episode we did on...

• 32:24Speaker 00

  What was the first one you had me on? Yeah, El Faro.

• 32:27Justin Roczniak?

  El Faro.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, El Faro was built there too, but later on. Yeah, so we see the... I don't know if those are actually the ships, but that's where they were born. And what kind of boat were they? Next slide. A type T2SEA1 tanker.

• 32:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 32:45Liam McAnderson?

  Of course, a type T2SEA1 tanker.

• 32:48Justin Roczniak?

  We have talked about them on this podcast before.

• 32:51Speaker 00

  And, yeah, so Gareth, you were spot on. 1940s, kind of reminds you of Liberty ships. Because they were built at the same time.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Ah, okay. Similar hull patterns and stuff, or?

• 33:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, so they were designed to be rapidly produced, you know? If you played Hearts of Iron 2, the good one, that's like your serial production, right? You're trying to make a lot of them quick.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:18November Kelly?

  Lost from the past.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:21Speaker 00

  So designed to transport oil and oil accessories rapidly across the ocean.

• 33:28Speaker 00

  Yes. Because, you know, hey, Germany ain't gonna bomb itself.

• 33:34November Kelly?

  Yeah, you need a lot of stuff, you know?

• 33:37Speaker 00

  So, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, the idea is we're just making this shit quick and it's not supposed to be a particularly amazing vessel.

• 33:44Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, USS, we built this yesterday.

• 33:46November Kelly?

  Yeah, combination wartime economy and jobs program because we love FDR.

• 33:51Liam McAnderson?

  Thanks, FDR. Yeah, you ruined everything, man.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  Fucking shouldn't have changed his vice president. But, yeah, so built the same time as Liberty ships had some of the same problems.

• 34:02Justin Roczniak?

  Okay.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 34:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, so they were built out of ass metal. And, um.

• 34:06Liam McAnderson?

  Yes. Oh, yes, ass metal.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  And, yeah, and what ass metal does, Rise, click the first animation.

• 34:14Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, so that's the shenectady.

• 34:16Justin Roczniak?

  Basically asses have cracks.

• 34:18Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 34:19November Kelly?

  Someone, someone, someone took this thing to a chiropractor.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  Como se dice, skenectady?

• 34:28Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 34:30Justin Roczniak?

  I gotta get to skenectady.

• 34:34Justin Roczniak?

  If I don't get to skenectady in the next 15 minutes, my heart's literally gonna explode.

• 34:38Liam McAnderson?

  I love that.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  Get to the wall walls up there.

• 34:41Liam McAnderson?

  I loved that fucking movie when I was a kid.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  Yo, but crank, we ain't gonna make it on top.

• 34:50Liam McAnderson?

  Craig, yeah.

• 34:51Speaker 00

  Yo, cranks, cranks, we got, we got, we got to drop fisher, we gotta get us up there.

• 34:59Liam McAnderson?

  Delirium of a senator.

• 35:00Speaker 00

  Cranks, cranks, cranks, we can't stop to fucking steal the car batteries, we gotta go.

• 35:06Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, no. Think of all the lives wasted, all the catalytic converters left unstolen.

• 35:11Speaker 00

  I like how Jason Statham's guy in this, crank guy in this instance, he's, he's, he's, you know, I can't do the voice. He's got, he's got the thrill of stealing the catalytic converter.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  Instead of fucking the woman in the street.

• 35:26Liam McAnderson?

  Like a popsicle, yes.

• 35:27Justin Roczniak?

  Raising me up right by stealing the catalytic and purr.

• 35:32Speaker 00

  I like how we're making Nova 2 voices.

• 35:34November Kelly?

  I am lightheaded.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  No, but we are working, you're ill and we are working you harder than ever before. It's, it's tricky.

• 35:42Speaker 00

  Um, and then, uh, this other one, uh, cracks if you click on it. I put their names on there. This is another great name. Uh.

• 35:49Justin Roczniak?

  Hold on, let me, let me see. I, I don't know if the animations translated to PowerPoint. God damn it.

• 35:55Speaker 00

  Uh, I, I saw it.

• 35:56November Kelly?

  Great software we use.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  You mean the annotation?

• 36:00Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, the annotations. Excuse me.

• 36:02Liam McAnderson?

  Oh my god.

• 36:04Justin Roczniak?

  Click to pull up image. Oh, right. Go to the next one.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, now the arrow's on the wrong spot.

• 36:09November Kelly?

  No. Since, you can still kinda see.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Roz, press E.

• 36:13Justin Roczniak?

  Alright, yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 03

  E, E, E.

• 36:15November Kelly?

  E, E, E.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  E, E, E.

• 36:21Liam McAnderson?

  This is gonna be an all-timer for all the wrong fucking reasons.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  They asked for me to come back. They asked for me to come back and specifically be with Liam on this and this is what you fucking get.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 36:31Speaker 00

  Uh, so this is the, I don't know, Pontic Anset? It's some fucking.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Oh, it's the ass crack joke again. It's split in two.

• 36:38Speaker 00

  Um, boats are typically not supposed to do this.

• 36:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, generally they don't just split in half at the dock.

• 36:44Liam McAnderson?

  They only do it when they're very distressed.

• 36:46Speaker 00

  And, and, uh, and Roz.

• 36:48November Kelly?

  Ooh, big stretch.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  And Roz, you know more about this, but apparently it's something to do with, uh, metal fatigue.

• 36:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Alright, so I think, uh, a good place to start here is to talk about joining two pieces of metal together. There's two ways to do it. There's riveting. Well, there's three ways. There's actually several ways to do it.

• 37:07Speaker 00

  Fuck it.

• 37:08Justin Roczniak?

  The two.

• 37:08Liam McAnderson?

  God damn you.

• 37:11Justin Roczniak?

  The two ways we're going to talk about today are riveting and welding.

• 37:16Speaker 00

  What a riveting topic.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  Well, we made that joke.

• 37:18November Kelly?

  Fuck you, Tom. Fuck you, Tom.

• 37:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:22Justin Roczniak?

  So, older steel ships.

• 37:24November Kelly?

  It's a very welding topic.

• 37:28Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 37:28Liam McAnderson?

  Older ship, I'm gonna steal myself for this one.

• 37:30Justin Roczniak?

  That's what it is. Um, okay. Older steel ships were built from overlapping metal plates which were riveted together, right? You see this here, right?

• 37:43Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 37:43Justin Roczniak?

  Um, in between World War I and World War II, this began to change. Welding was the new thing, right? Welds aren't necessarily inherently the superior form of joining two metal plates together. You know, even today, you'll have steel bridges that are largely held together with bolts instead of welds. Why do you do the change, right? Um, and a big part of it is that riveting is very labor intensive. You need four guys to install a rivet, right? You have the warmer, the catcher, the holder, and the basher.

• 38:19November Kelly?

  Yeah, so much for reproducing ice actually, Jesus.

• 38:22Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, tag yourself on the basher.

• 38:26Justin Roczniak?

  So, okay, what you want to do is picture a Looney Tunes cartoon where, you know, there's like, uh, you know, in the construction site, right?

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 38:37Liam McAnderson?

  Just keep going.

• 38:38Justin Roczniak?

  The warmer, the warmer heats the rivet in a furnace. He gets out a big set of clamps and he throws the red hot rivet to the catcher.

• 38:50Liam McAnderson?

  That sounds like it fucking sucks.

• 38:51November Kelly?

  Yeah, you can see like old newsreel footage of this. I've seen it in the like old footage of the like Clyde shipyards. And it is crazy the number of rivets that are just being like flying around red, red hot at head height.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, that's, let's be honest.

• 39:05Liam McAnderson?

  You guys, uh, you guys thought MLB was losing ratings before. Well, now what we're gonna do is introduce extreme baseball. Aaron Judge, good luck to you.

• 39:16November Kelly?

  Trying to wrestle the red hot rivet out of the, out of the catcher's hand.

• 39:20Speaker 03

  People often, people often talk about, um, uh, old timey times and the fact that, you know, health and safety got mad and then everything, men were hard back then. But, um, if you ended up with one of those hot rivet, you know, you misjudge it and one of those hit you in the head. It didn't hit you in the head. It hit the floor and your head was merely a brief obstacle that has now a hole in it. So, um, I, yeah.

• 39:39Liam McAnderson?

  That's a shame.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, not good. Also a little thing to talk about. So people often, you know, when ships got hit icebergs like the Titanic, you know, riveted ships, it wasn't so much that the metal tore, but that actually you end up with these metal plates buckling and the rivets popping and water kind of seeping through the gaps between plates. Just a little uh

• 39:56Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  Factor there. Look back at the 20 hour Titanic episode.

• 40:02Justin Roczniak?

  We will, we will talk a bit about different failure modes for these different things in a moment.

• 40:09Justin Roczniak?

  So, the, the, the thrower throws the red hot rivet to the catcher. The catcher hands it off to the holder. The holder puts the rivet in the hole and he holds it there with another special tool. Then on the other side of the steel plate, the basher hammers the other end of the rivet from the other side, creating, uh, you know, a seal on both sides, right?

• 40:34Liam McAnderson?

  That sounds unbelievably fucking miserable.

• 40:38November Kelly?

  Yeah, now, now imagine you have to do this like tens of thousands of times or hundreds of thousands of times.

• 40:44Liam McAnderson?

  I couldn't do this once. I couldn't do this once. I'd be bricked, not bricked up. I would have been hit with a brick.

• 40:49November Kelly?

  I would have been hard as fuck.

• 40:51Justin Roczniak?

  No, no, no, no. The rivet goes in the hole. You know, sometimes you can get away with skipping the catcher if the furnace was close by, but not often because the furnace is heavy and hard to reposition.

• 41:05November Kelly?

  Yeah, this shit sucks and it takes forever. On the other hand, a riveted panel looks cool as hell and they fail much, much more noisily, which is very evocative for your movie or whatever.

• 41:15Justin Roczniak?

  Between the wars, we developed this new process for joining metal parts, which is welding. Welding can be done by one guy with an arc welder. You just position the pieces next to each other and melt them together, right? It's fast, it's easy, uh, you just need one guy and that's very important during the war since manpower is short and time is of the essence.

• 41:38November Kelly?

  USS, we welded this yesterday.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like you would not believe how many welders.

• 41:43Liam McAnderson?

  Uh, sweet cheeses.

• 41:45November Kelly?

  Well, occasionally like I'll, I'll do some shit like, I can't sleep, so I'm going to get really into something specific. And I've, I've seen some, because of this, I've seen some welding gore in my time. You can, you can fuck up a weld in some really fun ways.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Oh yeah. If you want to see some of that, uh, just look at the vehicle ends of the class 800 family I E Ts, uh, running up and down the east coast mainland. That welding is fu-

• 42:10November Kelly?

  Conversely, you can, you can look at, you know, go on fucking r slash welding or whatever. You can see some very like, very clean welds, very like, you know, beautiful, smooth welds. And I'm like, damn, that's crazy.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  I'm just imagining like a trad guy like, no, you have to use the rivets. That's how the Vikings built their warship using the clinker method. You can't weld it. That's decadent.

• 42:31Justin Roczniak?

  Give me one second here. I have to use the restroom. I know it's only been a bit. I'm sorry.

• 42:36November Kelly?

  It's been like an hour.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  Right. It's calligraphy corner again. Nova, how's the, how's the calligraphy going?

• 42:43November Kelly?

  Uh, actually really well. So I, um, I, I got set a brilliant challenge recently because I, I, the kind of black letter calligraphy that I mostly do. Um, is, um, uh, it's called, um, text to hours quadrata, right? It's pretty simple. Um, and, uh, I, I got asked if I could do something in this, uh, this script called rotunda. Um, which is like, uh, a lot more sort of curvy. What the hell? But some, I think so. It was riveted panel just fell.

• 43:10Speaker 00

  Was that a gong?

• 43:12November Kelly?

  Yeah. Um, yes. I, I, I, I got asked to do this like, uh, rotunda thing and it is hard as fuck. Like I'm having to learn basically from scratch. Um, you gotta like twist the pen as you're finishing like, uh, downstrokes. It looks great, but like, I mean, mine doesn't, mine looks like absolute shit because I, I, you know, I'm still learning it, but like, uh, it's, it's been, it's been a really interesting thing to like, change up all the ways of like, doing this. And that's one of like, I don't know, a bunch of different kind of black laser scripts to do. So like, if I master this, you know, fucking enchilada, uh, I, I, I got more. So, you know,

• 43:51Speaker 03

  if you, if you, if you want to, then yeah, post, post them on the old, uh, on the old Twitter. I'd be welcome to see that. That's, uh,

• 43:58November Kelly?

  Yeah. I mean, I, the thing is I, I'm always a bit of a perfectionist about this stuff. It's the same with the photography. If people are wondering why I haven't posted any like film photography recently. It's not just because I'm, uh, you know, I have ADHD and I've moved on to a new hyper focus or whatever. It's just also because like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, no shit leaves the shop, right? I don't wanna put out stuff unless I like it. And with the calligraphy, there's a lot of stuff where I'm like, this is, this is okay. Like it's

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Oh, you don't want people to judge on the idea that you're like, yeah, you're doing it for enjoyment and, and, and for the challenge, but, uh,

• 44:29November Kelly?

  It's, it's, it's not good enough yet. I mean, give it time.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  There you go. The Hogs love collective corners.

• 44:35Liam McAnderson?

  Did we lose Tom?

• 44:36Speaker 00

  No, I'm here.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I thought, Tom, you've been replaced by ominous piano music, which is...

• 44:41Speaker 00

  If you have a piano in the room, I could start hitting it ominous.

• 44:45Liam McAnderson?

  Don't.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Don't do that.

• 44:46Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I... Poor Devon.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  Devon.

• 44:50Justin Roczniak?

  Welds are strong. They make the whole damn ship one big piece of metal. Metal flexes, so in terms of expansion and contraction, that's fine, right? Or is it?

• 45:02November Kelly?

  What if it does that on a cycle a bunch of times?

• 45:05Justin Roczniak?

  Well, you'll see right here, this is a cross-section of a butt weld.

• 45:12November Kelly?

  So much for reproducing ace actually.

• 45:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. A butt weld is when you put two pieces of metal next to each other and you weld them together, right?

• 45:22Speaker 03

  No response to that. That's okay, legit, cool.

• 45:24Justin Roczniak?

  This is... This is where... This shaded area here is where the metal has been heated to a point where it changes its properties, right?

• 45:35Speaker 03

  The heat affected area.

• 45:37Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. And this can be good or it can be bad. And especially if you don't know what you're doing, it's bad.

• 45:45Liam McAnderson?

  No, I have no idea what I'm fucking...

• 45:46November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 45:46Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I see Futuraba, right.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  I'm currently holding my PWI Understanding Rails and Rail Welding book, just for the benefit of listeners.

• 45:55Justin Roczniak?

  I may need Gareth's help here, because this is not my area of expertise.

• 46:00Liam McAnderson?

  Studying the blade over there with the, uh...

• 46:03November Kelly?

  Studying the rail.

• 46:04Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Also, because I changed the background to black, all the words that are supposed to be here are gone. Okay, so metals, they're the meat and potatoes of the periodic table. I milkshake.

• 46:19Justin Roczniak?

  So, a lot of chemicals, they're made out of, you know, these tightly bonded molecules, but metals are just this big party of atoms hanging out swapping electrons, right?

• 46:30Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I saw...

• 46:31Speaker 00

  The poly...

• 46:33Liam McAnderson?

  The polycule.

• 46:34November Kelly?

  That's why they call them transition metals.

• 46:39Liam McAnderson?

  Flu game shit, no, I'm... Flu game shit.

• 46:42Speaker 00

  That was a pull-up jumper from 50 foot.

• 46:50Justin Roczniak?

  This is why alloys of metals are described in percentages and not chemical formulas. There's not like a, there's not like a steel molecule, right?

• 46:59Speaker 03

  No, these are crystals. Yeah.

• 47:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  No, that's all I've got. I'm still, that's, I, I can give more metal chap, but no, other one, crystals. Everyone in your mind, crystals.

• 47:11Justin Roczniak?

  Metallic bonds form atoms into large crystals of relatively uniform patterns, but with discontinuities between them, right?

• 47:18November Kelly?

  I just, I just really like the idea of like, now we know that these are crystals, like you're kind of wine mom. Uh, like setting out a bunch of healing crystals, but they're all little steel I-beams.

• 47:28Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 47:29Liam McAnderson?

  Gotta leave the I-beams out for, uh, George W. Bush on 90.

• 47:33Justin Roczniak?

  Those are the crystals underneath New York City. They're all in the subway.

• 47:37Speaker 00

  How'd you know about that?

• 47:38Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, they told us to stay home, dude. You guys gotta, gotta get the secret Jewish cabal cell phones.

• 47:45Speaker 00

  Is that the like Obama phone?

• 47:49Liam McAnderson?

  It's a BlackBerry from like 99.

• 47:52Speaker 00

  It's a Windows phone.

• 47:55Liam McAnderson?

  Listen, Windows phone was unfairly maligned.

• 47:57Speaker 00

  I had a Windows phone.

• 47:58Liam McAnderson?

  It was perfectly fine operating system, perfectly fine. Listen, it was 2006, dude. All right. The first iPhone didn't even have a fucking G.

• 48:06November Kelly?

  Getting a message not to come into work today on my Microsoft Zoom.

• 48:12Justin Roczniak?

  The problem is you don't know if Hezbollah has an Uno reverse card situation for those.

• 48:17November Kelly?

  They literally did. The reason why I found this out, the reason why the pager attack went off like it did is because, and I found this out in, um, uh, uh, there was, it was like a book by Ronan Bergman, I want to say, um, that a unit 8200, the, uh, the Israeli like SIGINT Agency. They got entrapped like this in, I think the nineties, cause Hezbollah left a cellphone full of like explosives for them to find. And they brought it into their like, you know, sort of exploitation area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they killed like two people or like blew a guy's hand off or whatever. So, yeah. Uh, this was the Uno reverse card.

• 48:57Liam McAnderson?

  Why don't I call it the Uno reverse card, because it's the Unabomber.

• 49:01November Kelly?

  You just gotta hope that Hezbollah doesn't have a second Uno reverse card.

• 49:05Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. Just keep dealing the reverse cards.

• 49:07Speaker 00

  Windows phone, it'll just like, you'll just start a blue screen instead of blowing it up.

• 49:11November Kelly?

  Yeah, maybe, maybe in the 8200, we're trying to charge their Samsung Galaxy.

• 49:17Liam McAnderson?

  The Note 7? The billion dollar nugget?

• 49:21Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway.

• 49:22Liam McAnderson?

  No, no, no. I've seized control of the radio station.

• 49:29Justin Roczniak?

  These crystals affect the mechanical properties of the steel. They can be controlled in a number of ways through production. Through adjusting the level of carbon in the steel, adding metals other than iron, reducing or eliminating various impurities, and also crucially, controlling the rate of cooling.

• 49:50November Kelly?

  This is where you get all the different like alphanumeric codes for different kinds of steel that knife people go absolutely nuts about and being like, yo, your, your, your pocket knife that you only use to open Amazon packages sucks dick because it's 410HC or whatever. As opposed to my, my Giga Chad 81ZF4.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  Folded 10,000 times. You can cut straight out of knives, aren't you?

• 50:13Speaker 03

  For clarity, you can have exactly the same alloy composition in, in a, and yes, rail steel. I'm the rail guy. I'm always gonna say rail stuff. You can have rail steel. It's precisely the same chemical composition, so the same alloy percentages. But depending on its heat treatment, you can end up with completely different crystalline structures. So for example, most rails out there have perlite as the steel alloy crystal structure. But if you heat treat them specially, you can have what's called bayonet, which is much, much stronger and resists scratching.

• 50:43November Kelly?

  It talks a weird voice.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  Bayonet?

• 50:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 50:46November Kelly?

  Merely adopted the West Coast Main Line. It was born on it. Molded by it.

• 50:54Justin Roczniak?

  It's probably molded by a rolling machine, no, actually.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, but uh, I'm trying to think of a Ra's al Ghul slash role joke. Someone else better than that.

• 51:05Justin Roczniak?

  Ra's al Ghul?

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, that'll do.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  My leave needs an impression. I can't do that on the air.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Wait, you did the other one earlier.

• 51:13Speaker 00

  Right. It's not the accent.

• 51:20November Kelly?

  Jesus. Ooh.

• 51:21Justin Roczniak?

  If, for instance, you're rolling out a big steel beam from a hot billet and you allow it to cool very slowly, you get very large crystals that results in a steel which is very ductile or like easy to deform, right? In other words, um, that's desirable usually in like structures, like buildings and like bridges and so on, because of things like thermal expansion, uh, cyclical loading. You want things to be able to bend a little bit, you know, in like, or like in an earthquake or with any kind of like wind loading, so on and so forth. It's better to have something that bends and you know, if, if it bends really badly, you can

• 52:02Justin Roczniak?

  look at it and say, hey, there's a problem there. You can, uh, fix or replace.

• 52:08Speaker 00

  They have a surgery for that.

• 52:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, exactly, exactly.

• 52:11November Kelly?

  That's why they call them transition metals.

• 52:13Speaker 00

  I'm trying to get those transuranic metals, you know what I mean?

• 52:17November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah. Uh, no, I mean, you know, I've never subscribed to this philosophy. So like, what if I want a steel that is as rigid as possible because that makes it more stronger?

• 52:26Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, we'll get to that in a second. You know, if you cool it down very quickly, um, you know, you'll have something that shows no signs of problems and then shatters catastrophically.

• 52:36Speaker 00

  Oh, no. Oh, that sounds bad.

• 52:37November Kelly?

  Hey, at least it fails in a way that you're aware of it, you know, very much so at when it happens.

• 52:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, instead of being able to correct the problem, you, it just happens and you die.

• 52:48November Kelly?

  Yeah, exactly. Saves everyone a lot of work, apart from the guy who has to clean up the remnants of you.

• 52:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. So, yeah, if you want a steel that's very hard, like a chef's knife or like a sword, some kind of big block of metal, you want a machine with like a, a bridge board or CNC or a lathe or something, you want to take a different approach and that's going to be rapid cooling or quenching.

• 53:10November Kelly?

  Yeah, that's why, that's why you'd fucking dump it in like oil or water or whatever. So it cools quickly.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  It's not just to look fucking badass?

• 53:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, I thought it was. I've watched like every season of Forged in Fire.

• 53:22Justin Roczniak?

  No, it's, it's, it's very important you cool it as quickly as possible because, okay, so we see up here, this is a slowly cooled steel, uh, under, under a microscope, right? You can see there's very consistent grain here with the crystals. Um, and this is rapidly cooled down here. And it's a big mess of shit going all different directions.

• 53:48November Kelly?

  My, uh, my, my, my favorite forged in fire thing, sorry, is, um, the, the first host they had, fucking Will Wheaton, or whatever the fuck his name was, was like-

• 53:59Justin Roczniak?

  Will Wheaton?

• 54:00November Kelly?

  Yeah, he, he, he was, he was a troop. He was like a, like an operative, but in the air force or whatever. Anyway, uh, they, they did like a, they did like a military special and, uh, you know, was like one of each branch, like forges a knife, whatever. Um, and, uh, when the first guy who I think was a marine, like loses and eats shit because, you know, he's made a knife out of like crayons and banging two rocks together.

• 54:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 54:22November Kelly?

  Will Wheaton goes, um, "I would never ask a member of our, like, armed forces to surrender his weapon, uh, like leave with honor." And it's like, okay, man. I, I, I love that shit.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  Did they have a coasty on? And if so, did they make like the-

• 54:37November Kelly?

  Oh god, I hope so.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  The dive knife with the blunt tips so you don't accidentally stab yourself when you're trying to disentangle your- from a line?

• 54:45November Kelly?

  I'm gonna look this up. Sorry, Justin, I, I-

• 54:47Liam McAnderson?

  It's Will Willis, but I'm gonna, I think we should leave it as Will Wheaton.

• 54:51Speaker 00

  Wearing, wearing that weird fucking sweater from Next Generation.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. God, that's a- I actually love that. That's, uh, you know, he's, uh, he's, uh, he's serving. I was just gonna say that the, the, the zebra and the non-zebra patterns here are, um, are actually the, I think they are the crystals I talked about. I think the top one is, is definitely perlite. And I think the bottom one is actually bay night as, as, um, uh, steel crystals.

• 55:12Justin Roczniak?

  Believe that is the case. Yes, I, I glanced over the Wikipedia. I was, I was just like, I need a refresher on this. And then I did-

• 55:20November Kelly?

  So, so as, as, as best I can tell, they, they had like one coasty on Forged in Fire, but not in the military episode. So what even is the point? I know.

• 55:30Speaker 00

  I wonder what he made.

• 55:31Justin Roczniak?

  So-

• 55:32Speaker 00

  Or they made-

• 55:34November Kelly?

  It's a, it's a guy, a trans guy, actually. Uh, so, cool.

• 55:37Speaker 00

  Shout out. I got it right by accident. Yes!

• 55:39November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 55:41Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna get cancelled again on this show.

• 55:44November Kelly?

  Does not say it though. So, I don't know, could have been another thing.

• 55:48Justin Roczniak?

  So, this crystal formation results in these high internal stresses. Um, you know, it results in all these crystals that are with each other. They resist deformation because they're all fighting each other, you know?

• 56:03Justin Roczniak?

  This is not-

• 56:04November Kelly?

  Like the left.

• 56:05Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, exactly. Exactly.

• 56:07Speaker 00

  The top, the top is, uh, what, we, uh, we got-

• 56:11November Kelly?

  It's like lip steel. It's lip steel.

• 56:13Justin Roczniak?

  Lip steel. Yeah, lip steel.

• 56:14Speaker 00

  The bottom is democratic centralism.

• 56:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. It's going to, it's gonna break before it bends.

• 56:20November Kelly?

  Remember that time when Abdullah Salan just exploded with no one?

• 56:26Speaker 03

  So this is good, so, so for, for context, this is good for lots of applications, as, as Ross was saying. For example, for rails where they're being inspected very regularly by like automated trains. You can predict when they're gonna do the breaky shattery thing. And so you can exploit these properties for, uh, either for, you know, chef's sushi knives. Or for having really good wear resistance on, uh, shallow curves on high-speed rails.

• 56:49November Kelly?

  Hmm, see, they're, they're of my philosophy. They make it more rigid.

• 56:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 56:56Justin Roczniak?

  And this process can be reversed through something called annealing, right? So let's say you take your chef's knife that you spent, you know, ninety dollars on, right? And you accidentally leave it in the oven somehow. You heat it up and you let it cool down slowly. Uh, congrats, you have a useless hunk of metal that's gonna be defeated by three small onions.

• 57:17November Kelly?

  You have unheat treated your knife.

• 57:20Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 57:22Liam McAnderson?

  You used to be able to fix, you used to be able to fix Nvidia graphics cards by, uh, baking them.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, the temperatures aren't hugely, yeah, they're not massive. We're talking, you know, a few hundred degrees Celsius. Not like, uh, uh, you know, we're not talking like crazy furnace temperatures here.

• 57:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, so the metal reverts to these large crystals that it naturally wants to form. The things, the knife is, you know, not gonna hold an edge anymore. So don't do that.

• 57:47November Kelly?

  You can, you can bend an edge over on a tomato or whatever.

• 57:51Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Uh, that in turn can be reversed through cold working, right? If you're bending or folding or otherwise loading this ductile steel over time. It develops small discontinuities in the crystals. We know this is stress hardening. Sometimes that's desirable, sometimes it isn't.

• 58:13Justin Roczniak?

  And you can develop various alloys to affect the structure of crystals. Most impurities result in more imperfections in the crystal structure and then more hardness, right? Ambient temperature can also affect the brittleness of steel. That's important. We're gonna get back to that one.

• 58:31Liam McAnderson?

  What?

• 58:33Liam McAnderson?

  I, I just want to point out, I will have to mute myself in a second, uh, because I have to, I am on the third floor of my house where I live. And my wife is, uh, uh, it is my job as the man, uh, to get the food. So I will have to get the food, bring it to my wife, and then come back to record the thing that pays the rent.

• 58:51November Kelly?

  Modern love.

• 58:52Liam McAnderson?

  Modern love.

• 58:54November Kelly?

  Beautiful.

• 58:55Liam McAnderson?

  I, I love my wife and she is the littlest baby.

• 58:59Justin Roczniak?

  So anyway, that's my imperfect understanding of metallurgy, um, but we have to talk about it in a wartime era.

• 59:06November Kelly?

  Oh dear. You've got these- All of this, but a bunch of racism tacked on to it for some reason.

• 59:11Justin Roczniak?

  And less knowledge.

• 59:12November Kelly?

  They were calling these different types of crystalline structures by like different slurs.

• 59:17Justin Roczniak?

  Oh. Yeah, these are-

• 59:18November Kelly?

  You, you'd just be like, hey, why is, why is this steel like?

• 59:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 59:23Speaker 00

  Grandma, we don't use that anymore. Come on, uh, put the nutcracker down. Or the blacksmith hammer this, in this case.

• 59:31Justin Roczniak?

  So, big steel mills, they're spitting out as much steel as possible. There's manpower shortages. Not all steel is what we would now know as like good quality or least of structural quality. A lot of it is coming out of the mill with like high sulfur content, low manganese content. Uh, this is stuff that's great for machining, not so much for structures, right? Uh, uh, these, these, uh, components like sulfur disrupt the crystalline structure. Meaning the steel becomes harder, but also more brittle. Um. Now these-

• 1:00:06Liam McAnderson?

  Uh, sorry, I was gonna say fun fact, Nazi Germany, they ran out of manganese.

• 1:00:11November Kelly?

  Oh dear.

• 1:00:12Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Justin Roczniak?

  Alright, that's gone poorly.

• 1:00:14November Kelly?

  It's not good for your steel.

• 1:00:16Justin Roczniak?

  No one's paying a lot of attention to this when they're building Liberty ships and associated ships because they're not really designed for long-term use. And also, sort of, the knowledge of what alloys need to be used for this application isn't there yet, and welding's a very new technique at this point, at least.

• 1:00:34November Kelly?

  Americans, you're so funny. You're just like, "Yeah, I reckon we'll win the war in six months, and who cares, anyway?"

• 1:00:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39November Kelly?

  It's built 5,000 of these.

• 1:00:44Justin Roczniak?

  And this steel worked fine in riveted ships, so why wouldn't it work in welded ships?

• 1:00:49November Kelly?

  Sure.

• 1:00:51Justin Roczniak?

  So, you know, combine everything we just learned. Older ships were riveted. Those rivets, while hot themselves, did not significantly heat the metal around them when two plates were joined. Now the ships are being welded. That requires melting the very metal they were made of, but also introducing new metal into the joint. The result here is, you know, you've got continuous crystal discontinuities at each joint. The properties of the metal changed, and it caused some weak points, right?

• 1:01:19November Kelly?

  And you have a ship hull that is one piece of metal, but it's one really fucky piece of metal with a lot of weird areas in it.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:01:26Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  I'm gonna put my Ben Shapiro hat on. Is it possible, that maybe, that, in fact, the problem was that the rivets were being done by women? Who, in a traditional Judeo-Christian context, would not be allowed. I'm not even gonna continue that one, because I...

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  They would not be allowed.

• 1:01:45Justin Roczniak?

  Now, Ben, the ships were actually made of weldings?

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  I just immediately go to Kermit, which then just takes me to thinking of Jordan Peterson singing "It's Not Easy Being Green."

• 1:01:57Justin Roczniak?

  It's not easy being green.

• 1:02:02Speaker 00

  Jordan B. Peterson here.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  But then also Miss Piggy smacking Jordson Peterson in... at Jordensen? Jordan Peterson in face.

• 1:02:11November Kelly?

  Jordensen Peterson.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  Jordensen Peterson. That fucking Norwegian guy.

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  Oh, God, yeah. Yeah.

• 1:02:18November Kelly?

  It's the fucking, um, oh, Jesus, Kurt Vonnegut book.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Well, anyway, Miss Piggy can smack them all in the mouth. Hee hee, ah! Like that.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's waking them up from the fucking, you know, benzo coma.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:02:33Justin Roczniak?

  So anyway, owing to all these factors, that's how the SS Schenectady split in half at the dock in Calm Waters in Portland, Oregon on the 16th of January 1943. This crack was heard around the city and was heavily reported on despite wartime censorship because it was in the middle of goddamn city and everyone could see it.

• 1:02:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:55November Kelly?

  Put a tarp over it, like when a plane crashes.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  I love how much this is just like there's a model ship made out of like Rivitas or something, like just made out of like crackers and it's just been snapped by just a guy. It's just like, the boat has snapped. It's not like, oh, there's some like difficult to see in a photo warp here. It is literally boat snap, which is, I love that. Yeah, front fell off, that's it.

• 1:03:17Speaker 00

  It was like that when I got here.

• 1:03:22Justin Roczniak?

  This ship was completed, went out to sea trials, came back to port, then split in half.

• 1:03:31November Kelly?

  And presumably since this is, you know, wartime production, you're just like, well, I guess we had a bad one. Another 5,000.

• 1:03:39November Kelly?

  They can't all be winners.

• 1:03:41Justin Roczniak?

  So the cause of the fracture was not known. They blamed it on faulty welds for several years until a woman.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  A woman?

• 1:03:51Justin Roczniak?

  A woman.

• 1:03:52Speaker 00

  Outside of the house?

• 1:03:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Named Constance Tipper.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 1:03:56Justin Roczniak?

  Did a study on Liberty ships in the 1950s.

• 1:03:59November Kelly?

  Me trying to give a fake name to a waitress.

• 1:04:05Speaker 00

  Ron Mexico and Constance Tipper.

• 1:04:09Justin Roczniak?

  So Constance Tipper had a very long and productive career in which no one took her seriously on account of being a woman.

• 1:04:17November Kelly?

  Same, good thing I'm a comedian.

• 1:04:19Justin Roczniak?

  She was once invited as a featured speaker at the Royal Society because they only saw her initials and didn't realize she was a woman.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  No one's gonna say it could ever possibly be a woman.

• 1:04:31Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Justin Roczniak?

  They let her give the speech and then wouldn't let her come to the dinner afterwards.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Fucking hell. Jesus.

• 1:04:41Speaker 00

  What is, what is going on over there?

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43November Kelly?

  Nothing good, I'll say that.

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  That's like, that's like the Romans, like, one of my favorite historical facts is that Etruscans were relatively egalitarian. And the Romans are like, well, I say these women are at dinners reclining with the men, they must all be whores. You know, like, that's, so they just had to stereotype the Etruscan women are all whores because they dared dine with men, like, you know.

• 1:05:04November Kelly?

  Have you ever seen a Etruscan, like, statue? It looks fucking weird as hell. Like, evil-looking statues. Don't know why.

• 1:05:11Speaker 00

  Uh, they all, there's also a great vase of a guy fucking a goat, too.

• 1:05:15November Kelly?

  Ah, civilization, and it's discontent.

• 1:05:18Speaker 00

  Fun fact.

• 1:05:19Justin Roczniak?

  They had great art back in the day, you know?

• 1:05:21Speaker 00

  They did, they really knew how to make shit.

• 1:05:22Speaker 03

  Right there.

• 1:05:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. See, that's the traditional art that we're trying to bring back as part of the traditional architecture movement.

• 1:05:31Speaker 00

  Goats being fucked.

• 1:05:34Speaker 00

  Put them on the doorways. Okay, that's how you know whose house to pass over. Okay.

• 1:05:38November Kelly?

  Yeah, but like, Etruscan statues, look at the way they do the faces, right? It's, it's like, fuck, they look like elves or something.

• 1:05:45Speaker 03

  They're gonna have to put this up.

• 1:05:47November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Speaker 00

  Fun, fun fact, Brad Lidge, the pitcher who, who got the last out when the Phillies last won the World Series in 2008, is now an Etruscologist. And no one in Italy knows who he, yeah, no one in Italy knows who he is.

• 1:06:00November Kelly?

  One Italian baseball fan being like, yo.

• 1:06:03Speaker 00

  Oh, Jesus, poker deal, you can get this guy over here, he threw the ball very hard.

• 1:06:08Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I understand the Italian baseball league is dominant in the Italian baseball championships, which I can't recall the name of. Or the, excuse me, the, the European, not Italian, I said Italian twice, I didn't mean to say that.

• 1:06:24November Kelly?

  Giuseppe Garibaldi be like, I, I really love the idea of this guy in his PhD thesis or whatever, being like, in many ways, the Etruscan culture was also balling out of control.

• 1:06:35Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, um, Constance Stipper essentially invented modern metallurgy, especially with respect to crystal structures and things like that, um, you know.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  Something, something about women and crystals.

• 1:06:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, women know about the crystals. She knows about the crystals. I, I can't fault that.

• 1:06:55Speaker 00

  Women, they say she knows all about the crystals. All, they won't tell you this anymore. Oh, my Trump's not really coming out to that.

• 1:07:04Justin Roczniak?

  Um, you know, a lot of times, especially before the war, her, the co-authors on her papers took a lot of the credit or got a lot of the credit.

• 1:07:13Speaker 03

  Tell us all this time.

• 1:07:14Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. She determined, um, the, the cause of these cracks was not the bad welds as suspected. The welds were actually perfectly fine. It was the metal itself. The metal was just bad and that meant, okay, it would tend to snap around the discontinuities, which are the welds, right? Um, but you couldn't weld it better to make it better. The weld would just do that. Um, essentially when the temperature dropped below a certain point, this steel turned into effectively cast iron.

• 1:07:50Speaker 03

  Oh, great. Ass metal.

• 1:07:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Yes. Um, another interesting thing is these, these sort of cracks that were forming around the welds were also happening on riveted ships. But because in rivets, you have holes, I'm drawing some holes here.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:12Justin Roczniak?

  If a little crack started to form, it just went to the next hole and then stopped. As opposed to a welded ship where it just, the crack just immediately, you know, went the whole way through.

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  Interesting tidbit, both on ships and bizarrely aircraft, um, if you have a fatigue crack, one of the ways to stop the growth of the fatigue crack, and this may exist in aircraft, well, it certainly exists in older aircraft, um, flying around 20 years ago, it probably exists in Boeing aircraft today, um, you can drill a hole at the, where the tip of the, um, crack is, and that will slow down the, well, stop the crack growth, at least for a bit. It does mean that there's a hole in your ship and/or aircraft, but, uh, that is one of the ways that you stop fatigue.

• 1:08:50Speaker 00

  Saves weight.

• 1:08:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:08:52Speaker 00

  Adds speed.

• 1:08:53Justin Roczniak?

  It works on bridges too.

• 1:08:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:08:55Justin Roczniak?

  It works on pretty much everything. Stress concentrations are weird.

• 1:08:59Speaker 03

  They are.

• 1:09:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. How do we make this stronger? I remove material.

• 1:09:07Justin Roczniak?

  So Constance Tipper went on to develop a test for temperature, uh, you know, to find out the temperature where metal turns from ductile to brittle. We now know this is the Tipper test. You know, it's required for any sort of material that's expected to be exposed to low temperatures. You know, like a boat or an airplane.

• 1:09:26November Kelly?

  Or I don't know. What is it? What do you do to test the thing?

• 1:09:30Justin Roczniak?

  I don't know. I kept, uh, trying to figure this out through several sources and it's like, I don't.

• 1:09:36November Kelly?

  Good thing it's not a, like a sort of widely available piece of information.

• 1:09:40Justin Roczniak?

  I assume you have to go to college to figure it out.

• 1:09:44November Kelly?

  Just going back in time, you know, Caneska Yankee and King Arthur's Court, you're getting really specific about it. And how do you perform this Tipper test?

• 1:09:51Justin Roczniak?

  I don't know.

• 1:09:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I, I often, I often consider if I were in that situation, like, do I actually have enough knowledge to survive?

• 1:10:04Speaker 00

  I mean, if you got metallurgy, I'm going back in time and giving, uh, fucking Harold Godwinson, uh, like really fucking good, I don't know. What's a good medal we should give him to fight the Normans?

• 1:10:16Justin Roczniak?

  Look, I mean, if, if I just knew.

• 1:10:19Speaker 00

  An AK-47.

• 1:10:19Justin Roczniak?

  How to do, if I knew how to do the Bessemer steel process, I'd be set.

• 1:10:25November Kelly?

  I think, I think if you give me like a, I think if you give me, I've said this before, you give me a full sized Glock with that magazine capacity. I can make people think that I have an infinite number of shots and that's going to get me through my lifetime. We get to the whole, like, you know, post Alexandrian period where my, like, generals are fighting over my territory and eventually they figure out that they've used all of them and then things get fucky, you know?

• 1:10:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I, I, I, I think in a Connecticut Yankee.

• 1:10:53November Kelly?

  I'm a powerful sorcerer and I cast Forty Smith and Western Hole in your torso.

• 1:10:59Justin Roczniak?

  I'm just, the thing, the thing about the Connecticut Yankee and King Arthur's Court is he was defeated by Merlin.

• 1:11:07Speaker 00

  I'm just now imagining Harold Gobinson with the Glock like in Pulp Fiction and he's like, uh, how would you say it? Sedest, coat, bongyan. Sedest what?

• 1:11:19November Kelly?

  Harold Gobinson inexplicably played by Samuel L. Jackson.

• 1:11:24Speaker 00

  What, what, what doest thou sayin?

• 1:11:30Speaker 00

  What a language.

• 1:11:31November Kelly?

  Say, sayest thou what in Normandy?

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  My, uh, my understanding of the tipper test, by the way, just bringing this back in course is that, um, uh, you just, you just reduce the temperature and then whack the metal and then once.

• 1:11:43Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:11:44November Kelly?

  That's the tipper test. That's really, that's really underwhelming.

• 1:11:47Justin Roczniak?

  That, that, that sounds about right to me. A lot of times it's, it's pretty simple like that. Yeah.

• 1:11:53Speaker 00

  Vona biesta on big burger.

• 1:12:01Speaker 00

  I don't know. My old English pronunciation is, uh, it's better than yours. So fuck you.

• 1:12:06November Kelly?

  Anyway. Got my ass there and I wasn't even involved.

• 1:12:09Speaker 00

  Oh, I was, I was.

• 1:12:10November Kelly?

  I'm an innocent, I'm an innocent bystander here.

• 1:12:12Speaker 00

  I was, I was talking to the listener.

• 1:12:15Justin Roczniak?

  This is, this is an interesting episode and then we've discussed the mechanism of failure up front. Um, but now I have to hand it back to Tom.

• 1:12:23Speaker 00

  So.

• 1:12:24Justin Roczniak?

  For what happened?

• 1:12:25Speaker 00

  So we have this war.

• 1:12:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, we talked about a little bit, um, uh, this guy ate off Hitler. He's fucking.

• 1:12:35Justin Roczniak?

  He's a bad egg. I'm not a, not a great fan, not a great fan.

• 1:12:38November Kelly?

  Got a lot of fans on X, the everything app these days.

• 1:12:40Speaker 00

  I used to suck to all sorts of bullshit. Um, you know, just a real like him and his, his, you know, pack of rogues just running around getting up the hydrinks.

• 1:12:50November Kelly?

  Tried to change the German system of, uh, typefaces.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. And also changed track age to some weird wide version. Fuck those guys for that alone.

• 1:12:59Speaker 00

  Getting so, getting so mad that your font is, is Italian in origin.

• 1:13:07Speaker 00

  Well, you're not using runes. Oh, guess where runes come from, motherfucker? They came from the Etruscans. And where were the Etruscans?

• 1:13:12Speaker 03

  Making weird faces on statues.

• 1:13:15Speaker 00

  And where did the Etruscan, where did the Etruscan alphabet come from? Okay. Came from the Greek alphabet. Where did the Greek alphabet come from? It came from the Phoenicians. And where did the Phoenician alphabet come from? Fucking Egypt.

• 1:13:24Liam McAnderson?

  We don't own Tom.

• 1:13:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, so fuck you Hitler.

• 1:13:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, this is not a, not a pro Hitler podcast.

• 1:13:34Speaker 00

  Hitler banned from the dot font dot org forums.

• 1:13:40Justin Roczniak?

  Hitler, not allowed in the treehouse.

• 1:13:45Speaker 00

  So, so we have, um, we have here a picture of a assorted dames and fellas celebrating the end of the war. And, um.

• 1:13:53November Kelly?

  Some fucked up haircut too.

• 1:13:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, um, I gotta say though, the, so sometimes that the, the world war two, uh, gal haircut does do it for me. There's something, there's something about it.

• 1:14:02November Kelly?

  Sometimes though, not any of these though, the weird sort of overcoat.

• 1:14:06Speaker 00

  No, I'm just thinking of what's her name.

• 1:14:07Speaker 03

  The 40s bop, hello.

• 1:14:09November Kelly?

  Hmm, hmm.

• 1:14:11Speaker 00

  Um, so we win the war, we can, these ships that we built, basically disposable ships that we built, um, out of ass metal.

• 1:14:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:14:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, built by Lodge, uh.

• 1:14:24Justin Roczniak?

  Ass metal with butt joints.

• 1:14:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:26Speaker 00

  I bought a T2, um, at the store at the Cracker Barrel, um, the, yeah, the, the, the Euros won't understand that. Um, you could buy cast iron pans at the fucking Cracker Barrel general store.

• 1:14:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:14:41Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 1:14:41Justin Roczniak?

  So Cracker Barrel is a country restaurant.

• 1:14:48Liam McAnderson?

  We'll take you to a Cracker Barrel, Garrett.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  Yes, please. Do they have a train above the, do they have a train above my head again? Cause I, I enjoyed when I went to the supermarket, I had a train above my head.

• 1:14:58Liam McAnderson?

  Oh yes, Wegmans.

• 1:14:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, we went to Wegmans.

• 1:15:00Justin Roczniak?

  Wegmans, yes.

• 1:15:02Liam McAnderson?

  The Wegmans.

• 1:15:02Speaker 00

  You gotta go to the Wegmans too. They have good cheese.

• 1:15:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, they have pretty good cheese selection.

• 1:15:06Justin Roczniak?

  Lots of cheese.

• 1:15:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:08Liam McAnderson?

  All right, keep her moving.

• 1:15:09Speaker 00

  All right, uh, so, so you know, obviously, you know, America's gonna demobilize, uh, stop building weapons, um, find a peacetime economy, you're at the peace dividend, uh, build, build a, maybe we could scrap these vessels, make shitty homes for white veterans only. Um, no, no, no, no.

• 1:15:27Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:15:27Speaker 00

  We're not doing that.

• 1:15:28Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:15:28Speaker 00

  Those are still good ships because they're still floating. And we can make money by selling it to private, private interests, which I said for a nota bene would be a good name for a late seventies porno.

• 1:15:42Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I'd watch that.

• 1:15:45November Kelly?

  You still love it like jazz piano on the soundtrack.

• 1:15:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. Ooh, is that a crack in your, in your hole or?

• 1:15:55Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, oh, doctor, I think I need a new ass. This one has a crack in it.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  I get a hot rivet, me?

• 1:16:00November Kelly?

  Some butt welding.

• 1:16:05Speaker 00

  Oh, boy.

• 1:16:08Speaker 00

  No, no, we're gonna sound the private interest. So let's take a look at what happened. So let's click the next slide. That's the Fort Mercer. She did not serve in World War II. She, uh, flat feet.

• 1:16:18November Kelly?

  Getting really like insecure about it, buying a bunch of like nine lion shirts. Yeah, I was, you know.

• 1:16:24Liam McAnderson?

  I wanted to serve, yeah, you know.

• 1:16:25November Kelly?

  Yeah, you know, I was an operator, but I never deployed. By the way, I'm on my like third divorce, but still care about traditional values.

• 1:16:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I would have fucking enlisted, but as soon as that drill instructor would have got my face, I would have fucking punched him.

• 1:16:39Liam McAnderson?

  You and every other dude from.

• 1:16:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's where I, I don't fucking, I didn't graduate the school hard knocks is where I'm from. All right.

• 1:16:48November Kelly?

  Fucking, um.

• 1:16:49Liam McAnderson?

  University of real life, yeah. I too went to Father Judge, yes.

• 1:16:55Speaker 00

  You know, I dropped out for a judge second year. It was too hard. Fuck you.

• 1:17:01Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah. So she was completed by a war after the, uh, a war after the month. Wow. A month after the war's end.

• 1:17:05Liam McAnderson?

  Nail it.

• 1:17:06Speaker 00

  And then, um, so she was sold to the Trinidad Corporation, which is a part of the Barbara asphalt family. Uh, yeah, so, uh.

• 1:17:15Speaker 03

  There are a lot of weird trumpets on the rear part of this vessel. What, what?

• 1:17:19November Kelly?

  Oh.

• 1:17:20Speaker 00

  Uh, well, we do have the diagram in a couple of slides.

• 1:17:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:17:24November Kelly?

  Yeah. See, back in the day, you used to be able to get all types of shit from your barber. Now it's just skin fades.

• 1:17:29Speaker 00

  I, I, I imagine that these are, oh, Jesus Christ.

• 1:17:33Speaker 03

  I enjoyed that. I enjoyed that.

• 1:17:34Speaker 00

  Uh, I'm sorry. I stepped on that joke. Um.

• 1:17:37November Kelly?

  It's all good.

• 1:17:38Speaker 00

  I, I imagine that.

• 1:17:39Justin Roczniak?

  Barbara asphalt is like the new version of being tarred and feathered.

• 1:17:44Speaker 00

  Barbara asphalt, I hardly knew her.

• 1:17:48Speaker 00

  I imagine there's some that's I forget what the term is for that, but like let's air in, but won't let the it's like a ventilation system on the back, probably.

• 1:17:56Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:57Speaker 00

  So her career up till the the incident was unremarkable.

• 1:18:02Liam McAnderson?

  It's like your 30s.

• 1:18:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. So, yeah. So, so we're gonna leave the Fort Mercer now. The Fort imagine the Fort Mercer, as you will. She is steaming north from Norco, Louisiana laden with oil. Well, yeah, with oil with a destination of Portland, Maine. So we're gonna leave her there. Let's go to the next slide. All right. The Pendleton was surprisingly hard to find.

• 1:18:26November Kelly?

  Almost identical ship.

• 1:18:28Speaker 00

  Yes, it's almost as if they're the same class of ship.

• 1:18:31November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, almost.

• 1:18:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:33November Kelly?

  Sick paint job on this one though.

• 1:18:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, and that will come out. That's important to know. Yeah, we got we have the fucking like we have the murdered out Pendleton.

• 1:18:42November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:45Speaker 00

  Fake tags on the back.

• 1:18:49Speaker 00

  The Coast Guard pulling her over because you have a legally dark tint.

• 1:18:53Speaker 03

  Again, it's got the telly tubby ass ventilation pedal thing going on.

• 1:18:59Speaker 00

  And they seem to be in like all random directions.

• 1:19:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe it's just aesthetic choice.

• 1:19:04November Kelly?

  You're gonna get you're gonna get some airflow in or out of that, I guess.

• 1:19:07Speaker 00

  Yeah. So she served the World War Two. We know of at least one Atlantic convoy that she was part of, but did not have a spotless career. There was a few incidents.

• 1:19:18Liam McAnderson?

  Foreshadowing.

• 1:19:19Speaker 00

  Yeah. So in 1947, while while still in government service, there was cracks noticed.

• 1:19:29Speaker 00

  Not a big, large crack, but a crack was noticed. And then they installed these crack arresters. And this is common with these with this model tanker and also with the Liberty ships. So they would with this ass steel, basically failing in parts. They would then take a strip of stronger, high quality steel and like band it on the inside. They were called crack arresters.

• 1:19:49Justin Roczniak?

  Did they drill a hole? Because drilling the hole would be a good idea.

• 1:19:54Speaker 00

  I'm actually not too sure.

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, a bit like a double plate in aviation.

• 1:20:00November Kelly?

  It's just straight through and the you know, it's leaking and you're like, listen, could be a lot worse.

• 1:20:04Justin Roczniak?

  So you don't. That's why you have a bilge pump.

• 1:20:06November Kelly?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:20:07Speaker 03

  These things always every boat leaks. They're all full of piss water at the bottom.

• 1:20:12November Kelly?

  Yeah, like like English bathrooms.

• 1:20:14Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:20:14Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:20:16November Kelly?

  Why do you think we rolled the waves?

• 1:20:20Speaker 00

  I thought those ships were made out of oak.

• 1:20:23November Kelly?

  Oceans are now bathrooms.

• 1:20:26Liam McAnderson?

  They already were.

• 1:20:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:20:28Liam McAnderson?

  Key for enjoyment, not for employment, man.

• 1:20:32Speaker 00

  Now, I'm trying to see here if the Pendletons were riveted.

• 1:20:36November Kelly?

  Joke I remember, a genie comes to like two guys who are fishing in a boat in the middle of a lake and guy wishes, "I wish this whole lake was beer," with his last wish and the other guy turns to him and says, "You stupid asshole, now we have to piss in the boat."

• 1:20:55Speaker 00

  Oh, Jesus Christ. In 1948, the Pendleton was sold to the national bulk carriers.

• 1:21:03Speaker 00

  You know, a nice straightforward company name.

• 1:21:06November Kelly?

  We don't have this anymore. They don't make them like that anymore.

• 1:21:08Justin Roczniak?

  I'm sure there were like forty-five similarly named companies that owned like, owned like two ships each and was like, "We're bulk national carriers. We're American bulk carriers."

• 1:21:20Speaker 00

  National bulk carriers of Delaware.

• 1:21:25Speaker 00

  This is kind of crucial though, and so in 1951, she ran aground in the Hudson River.

• 1:21:30Speaker 03

  Don't want to do that.

• 1:21:32Speaker 00

  And she ran aground between the number six and nine tanks. We'll get to the diagram in the next slide, but note that for future reference. And she sat, she sat for a day with, with the weight on that section until she was refloated. That is my, by the way, my favorite genre of dumb boater accident is getting, is like getting, getting, running aground, especially like at high tide.

• 1:22:03Speaker 00

  Like then you're just fucked until like the next neap tide comes along or you know, king tide, spring tide, something that comes along that actually will let you float. But yeah, no, it, so she was up for about a day. And I have a question for everybody. Is a ship designed to float on water with a,

• 1:22:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, typically.

• 1:22:19Speaker 00

  With a relatively balanced distribution of load along the hull? Or perhaps are ships designed to sit partially aground with stress unevenly distributed on the hull?

• 1:22:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, kind of like a seesaw.

• 1:22:29November Kelly?

  I was gonna say like a seal, you know, they haul out, they have a rest, you know, they give birth to the young.

• 1:22:34Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. So, it turns out it's probably not a good idea for the latter.

• 1:22:41Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, okay.

• 1:22:43Justin Roczniak?

  It turns out, actually, yeah, the weight has to be distributed properly.

• 1:22:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's almost like that's an incredibly important part of how ships are made.

• 1:22:51Justin Roczniak?

  Although in high school, I did run a racing shell of ground, and then with my fellow scholar, we managed to get that back in the water before the coach noticed and got mad at us.

• 1:23:03Liam McAnderson?

  It's a sweet, sweet water, the Anacostia, yep.

• 1:23:05Speaker 00

  With 10,000 gallons of sweet crude. Yeah.

• 1:23:09Justin Roczniak?

  It was a very big double skull, yes.

• 1:23:14Liam McAnderson?

  Bronze dead Exxon Valdez.

• 1:23:17Justin Roczniak?

  On the Anacostia, no one would have noticed.

• 1:23:22Speaker 00

  Actually, it would have made it nicer.

• 1:23:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. It doesn't smell like shit anymore.

• 1:23:27Justin Roczniak?

  It smells like delicious sweet crude.

• 1:23:30Speaker 00

  Texas tea. We got, so after this, they inspected the vessel and found that there was a crack in the bulkhead between the number four, a triple crack in the bulkhead between the number four starboard wing and center tank. This crack was not repaired.

• 1:23:45Justin Roczniak?

  That's three more cracks than you want, folks.

• 1:23:48Speaker 03

  You gotta drill three more holes. They're having a cracking time.

• 1:23:51Liam McAnderson?

  Save triple the weight.

• 1:23:54Justin Roczniak?

  Cracking grommet.

• 1:23:57Speaker 00

  What a cracking crack.

• 1:23:59Speaker 03

  Let's crack on.

• 1:24:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:02November Kelly?

  The CIA was involved in the distribution of cracks, dude.

• 1:24:08Speaker 00

  CIA.

• 1:24:08Justin Roczniak?

  We've exhausted this joke, let's move.

• 1:24:11Speaker 03

  Oh, nope, that's...

• 1:24:12Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, he's getting salty!

• 1:24:18Speaker 03

  Salt pouring through the crack.

• 1:24:20Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, god, Devon's gonna have us hanged for this.

• 1:24:24Speaker 00

  In, uh, in, uh, January 1952, the Pendleton Pastor Coast Guard Inspection. Hooray.

• 1:24:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, that cracked.

• 1:24:33November Kelly?

  Pretty, pretty cursory inspection.

• 1:24:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. The Coast Guard's never done that before. We definitely did not talk about that on the Al Faro, this sort of cursory, uh... Ah, it's fucking fun.

• 1:24:42November Kelly?

  Looks fun.

• 1:24:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, looks good. Looks good to me.

• 1:24:45Liam McAnderson?

  Just slapping it and just...

• 1:24:47Speaker 00

  Don't you gotta get into all the containers? Uh, the guy with the, the, the confined spaces training, he's fucking sick today. I'm just filling in. You know, that's charts good. Um, alright, next slide, please. Uh, so here we have, um, the out, outboard profile and whole plans for the T2. Um, so you can take a mental note where the, the zone of this, the cargo tank six to nine, that, that sort of area, um, where...

• 1:25:14Justin Roczniak?

  So, here is six.

• 1:25:16November Kelly?

  The wrapper?

• 1:25:17Justin Roczniak?

  Here is nine. That's where it was sitting.

• 1:25:20Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 1:25:21Justin Roczniak?

  I've drawn a VHS tape.

• 1:25:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:23Liam McAnderson?

  Six nine, damn so fine, give it to me, suck it to me one more time.

• 1:25:28Speaker 00

  And, uh...

• 1:25:28Liam McAnderson?

  Alright.

• 1:25:29Speaker 00

  And you can also point out it, where the, where the, uh, the tanks are. It's not that crucial, um, on the overhead diagram. Um, but what I do want to point out is, sort of, if you will, divide the ship into two halves and...

• 1:25:44November Kelly?

  I think that was the problem, right?

• 1:25:45Speaker 00

  Well...

• 1:25:46Justin Roczniak?

  Well, there's your problem.

• 1:25:49Speaker 00

  In the back.

• 1:25:50November Kelly?

  It's the problem from where there's your problem?

• 1:25:52Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, a celebrity. Yeah. I can't believe when they said, "Well, there's your problem," they problemed over the place. Um...

• 1:26:01Speaker 00

  Probleming off the walls, on the ceiling. Probleming out the window, down on the street, probleming off the buildings, yeah. So, so, the back, the, the stern of the vessel has the boiler room, has the engines, has a power plant. Um, and the bridge is forward. Just, just make another mental note of that.

• 1:26:20Justin Roczniak?

  So it's like, uh, it's like a, um, uh, uh, Great Lakes freighter, though the pilot house is not all the way at the bow, it's sort of amidships.

• 1:26:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:26:30Justin Roczniak?

  I believe is the word.

• 1:26:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:26:32Justin Roczniak?

  I know boats.

• 1:26:33November Kelly?

  The only thing I know about Great Lakes Raiders is the one song about the like one being doomed which you know.

• 1:26:39Speaker 00

  Is that what the, is that the one the legend is told about that one?

• 1:26:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Arthur Anderson, yes.

• 1:26:45Speaker 00

  That, uh, that lake they call Getchigumi.

• 1:26:48Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 1:26:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:26:49Liam McAnderson?

  Which that episode is coming eventually, stop fucking emailing me about.

• 1:26:53Justin Roczniak?

  John Munson, the, um, the, the, I don't know any other Lakers.

• 1:26:57Liam McAnderson?

  Unrelated to Josh Munson.

• 1:26:59Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, the, uh, the, the, the famous, famous Laker, um, LeBron James.

• 1:27:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:06Speaker 00

  Uh, we, uh, yeah, you're not doing that episode till I can, uh, finish learning the guitar. Um, we're gonna have a first live, uh, unplugged, W T Y P unplugged.

• 1:27:15Justin Roczniak?

  Where we talk about LeBron James?

• 1:27:17Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:27:19November Kelly?

  Well, that's your problem, LeBron James.

• 1:27:22Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, that charter school motherfucker.

• 1:27:24Speaker 00

  You're gonna have me on for a different reason.

• 1:27:29Speaker 00

  So, so we leave the Pendleton right now, um, she's, she, she's steaming north from Nollins with a load of kerosene and heating oil bound for Boston.

• 1:27:38Liam McAnderson?

  That sounds.

• 1:27:38Justin Roczniak?

  Boston.

• 1:27:40November Kelly?

  Shipping up to Boston.

• 1:27:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, you could, one could say.

• 1:27:43Justin Roczniak?

  Boston, man.

• 1:27:46Liam McAnderson?

  Woody Guthrie wrote that song?

• 1:27:47Justin Roczniak?

  Man.

• 1:27:48Liam McAnderson?

  Who wrote it? Woody Guthrie, also, uh, or at least.

• 1:27:52November Kelly?

  I can't believe I have to do this for work and live in this world where Donald Trump is president.

• 1:27:57Liam McAnderson?

  I, I just, I, oh fuck, I had a joke, uh, nevermind, continue.

• 1:28:02Justin Roczniak?

  No.

• 1:28:08Justin Roczniak?

  Hi, it's Justin. Uh, so this is a commercial for the podcast that you're already listening to. Uh, people are annoyed by these, so let me get to the point. We have this thing called Patreon, right? The deal is you give us two bucks a month and we give you an extra episode once a month. Uh, sometimes it's a little inconsistent, but you know, it's two bucks, you get what you pay for. Um, it also gets you our full back catalog of bonus episodes so you can learn about exciting topics like guns, pickup trucks, or pickup trucks with guns on them. The money we raise through Patreon goes to making sure that the only ad you hear on this podcast is this one.

• 1:28:50Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, that's something to consider if you have two bucks to spare each month. Join at patreon.com/ W T Y P pod. Do it if you want, or don't. It's your decision and we respect that. Back to the show.

• 1:29:11Speaker 00

  All right, next slide, River Vore.

• 1:29:13November Kelly?

  I'm gonna hedge my bets here. Thank God that, you know, Donald Trump isn't president, but it sucks that I have to do this for work.

• 1:29:20Speaker 00

  Oh, it sucks. It sucks so bad. I mean, you are on the verge of death and you're putting up flu game numbers, so I'm very proud of you.

• 1:29:26November Kelly?

  Thank you.

• 1:29:28Speaker 00

  So, so we have up here on this slide, we have a chart, two charts.

• 1:29:34Liam McAnderson?

  Looks bad, Tom.

• 1:29:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, you know, I can tell it looks bad too, and thank, because I got a C plus at meteorology two or three at Penn State. I can actually read this.

• 1:29:44Liam McAnderson?

  Garbage school for garbage people.

• 1:29:45Justin Roczniak?

  It looks like there's a low pressure zone heading into Hyannis. That's gonna bring some significant storms into the area and also appears that there's a freezing.

• 1:29:55Speaker 00

  JFK just did that.

• 1:29:56Justin Roczniak?

  Temperature over there, yeah.

• 1:29:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's that freezing, shit. The weather nerds are gonna make fun of me. It's ISO height, ISO line, I don't know. There's, there's, there's, there's a certain pressure height, depending on how far up it is, it tells, it basically is a good predictor of the weather's gonna be freezing. The precipitation's gonna be freezing or not. Anyway, let's look at the left side.

• 1:30:14Justin Roczniak?

  Would 1950's Jim Cantore be in Hyannis right now?

• 1:30:19Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 1:30:20November Kelly?

  Doing the like 1940's CGI storm surge where it's just like all practical effects and they drown a couple of weathermen.

• 1:30:28Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, they actually drown Jim Cantore.

• 1:30:31Speaker 00

  He's getting ready to teach JFK Junior how to fly a plane in fog.

• 1:30:37November Kelly?

  At the same time.

• 1:30:39Speaker 00

  Same time. So, so.

• 1:30:41Justin Roczniak?

  You could, you could do Chappaquiddick without even going off the bridge.

• 1:30:47Liam McAnderson?

  Jesus Christ, Roz.

• 1:30:50Speaker 00

  You kinda said that unintentionally, look at the Biden cadence there.

• 1:30:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know.

• 1:30:55Speaker 00

  Drive, drive, drive off the bridge.

• 1:30:59Justin Roczniak?

  Um, don't have to drive, drive out the bridge. The water comes to you. Alright, Jack.

• 1:31:05November Kelly?

  Yo, it's hedging my bets again. Yo, it's so crazy that Biden's president still somehow.

• 1:31:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:09Speaker 00

  Well, speaking of Joe Biden, there was, there was a Joe Biden riff. I had deleted from this slide. Uh, Roz, can you, can you say the, the, the bolded date?

• 1:31:19Justin Roczniak?

  The which?

• 1:31:20Speaker 00

  The bolded date.

• 1:31:21Liam McAnderson?

  The bolded.

• 1:31:21Speaker 00

  In the notes.

• 1:31:22November Kelly?

  The bolded date.

• 1:31:22Justin Roczniak?

  Sunday, February 17th, 1952.

• 1:31:25Speaker 00

  Alright, see you on the left.

• 1:31:26November Kelly?

  Hedging my bets again. It's cool that Jill Stein is president.

• 1:31:29Justin Roczniak?

  It's really cool that Dr. Brother Cornel West is president.

• 1:31:35Speaker 00

  Um, I for one am, am, uh, pretty excited that the Pennsylvania National Guard was able to secure the, uh, the, uh, I-76 corridor. Um, keeping the Pittsburgh, crucial Pittsburgh to Philadelphia Pipeline, uh, Pipeline intact. You know, communicate, you know, logistics corridor, um, following the fall of, uh,

• 1:31:54November Kelly?

  It's an MSO.

• 1:31:55Speaker 00

  To the, to the J.D. Vance Catholic Integralist Brigade.

• 1:32:00Justin Roczniak?

  It's really cool that, um, Sherrell Parker is now a president of the Independent Pennsylvania Commonwealth.

• 1:32:07Liam McAnderson?

  No, that's not really cool.

• 1:32:10Speaker 00

  Imagine, imagine her wearing like the Zelensky fucking like, uh,

• 1:32:19November Kelly?

  That's, that, that guy's ahead of his time. Every leader is gonna be wearing those in, in like A-24's Marvel Civil War. Like guaranteed it.

• 1:32:27Speaker 00

  Somehow Sherrell Parker gets a M.A.S. and just is DUIing her way through fucking West Philly. Um,

• 1:32:34Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, that tracks.

• 1:32:35Justin Roczniak?

  Look, I, I, I mean, it's gonna be, it's, it's gonna be Parker versus Fetterman. I'm going with Parker.

• 1:32:42Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I'll, oh, God.

• 1:32:43November Kelly?

  Yeah, they can't find a quarters that big enough in his ass.

• 1:32:46Liam McAnderson?

  Put the gun in my mouth now.

• 1:32:48Speaker 00

  Imagine that coalition, like, it's, it's like, it's the scene from, uh, Downfall where they're all like, Fetterman.

• 1:32:57Speaker 00

  Fetterman's losing his mind.

• 1:32:59Liam McAnderson?

  Send the Parker, the Parker Brigade.

• 1:33:01Speaker 00

  There is no Parker Brigade. All right, so, so weather, you have, so we have what we call here a surface weather analysis chart. This is for the morning of the 17th. So you see, um, there's a, uh, 1,004 millibar low off of Delmarva. And, uh, imagine with you will in Scranton, there's a slip, slip a little Joe Biden. My Joe Biden's turning into Obama for some reason.

• 1:33:26Liam McAnderson?

  You really are the party of Udineal by yourself, Tom.

• 1:33:29November Kelly?

  It's so crazy that Obama's president again.

• 1:33:34November Kelly?

  I didn't, I didn't think that was possible, but, you know.

• 1:33:37Speaker 00

  I was slipping screen. Eh, it was so. So I'll see you, Joe Biden. That's, that's actually my.

• 1:33:46November Kelly?

  Was that, was that your Obama?

• 1:33:47Speaker 00

  No, that's my Josh Shapiro. Okay.

• 1:33:51Justin Roczniak?

  The merger of Joe Biden and, um, and Obama.

• 1:33:55Liam McAnderson?

  I am so fucking tired of Josh Shapiro. Yeah, this is just gonna be, I think I've killed Gareth, but I think at some point this, when this just becomes an all Pennsylvania politics podcast, I just, I fucking hate Josh Shapiro. I wanna go on record as saying that shit when he runs in 2028. Uh, and he's just like, oh, hi, I'm the dorky little guy that ruined the fucking Amtrak, me, me, me, me, and I killed Septa all by myself and I fucking suck ass. I'm Josh Shapiro. Bookmark this podcast.

• 1:34:19November Kelly?

  It's so crazy that Josh Shapiro is warlord of Pennsylvania, no?

• 1:34:22Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I will, I will personally make sure he has enough time to prevent, uh, have a good time to prevent that.

• 1:34:28November Kelly?

  It's so crazy that every presidential, uh, every presidential candidate got assassinated simultaneously.

• 1:34:34Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, well, it's really crazy that Liam is president right now.

• 1:34:41Speaker 00

  I, I hate to tell you, I'm, I'm, I'm president again.

• 1:34:44Liam McAnderson?

  No, not, not you, Bill.

• 1:34:47Speaker 00

  I'll come back.

• 1:34:47Liam McAnderson?

  Back to the hole, you go.

• 1:34:49Speaker 00

  That's it, that's it.

• 1:34:50November Kelly?

  Yeah, it's crazy that Jimmy Cast is president again. You can't have long.

• 1:34:53Speaker 00

  I can't do that one.

• 1:35:00Speaker 03

  Brackets inaudible.

• 1:35:01Liam McAnderson?

  That's one I deleted.

• 1:35:05Liam McAnderson?

  She said Jimmy Carter and you went to Dixon.

• 1:35:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, cuz I can't do a Carter.

• 1:35:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:10Liam McAnderson?

  I can't.

• 1:35:10November Kelly?

  Neither can he at this point.

• 1:35:12Justin Roczniak?

  Lyndon Johnson comes back from the grave.

• 1:35:15Liam McAnderson?

  Ah, yeah, buddy.

• 1:35:16Speaker 00

  This is, I can do, I can do a Johnson. It's just to me. That's me slapping Jumbo on the desk. Alright.

• 1:35:25Liam McAnderson?

  Is he masturbating? What is he doing?

• 1:35:27Speaker 00

  I mean, yeah. So, so whether.

• 1:35:29November Kelly?

  Sword. LBJ masturbating by slamming his dick against the Resolute Desk.

• 1:35:39Liam McAnderson?

  Briefed on two for a check. Who's to say?

• 1:35:41November Kelly?

  Hold on a second. I'll get some come out of the salt bitch now.

• 1:35:44Speaker 00

  Bring in the fucking British Ambassador. I want him to see this. Get a fucking kick out of this.

• 1:35:56November Kelly?

  That was the last thing that went through JFK's head after the bullet was that realization that he would be replaced by LBJ whipping his dick on the Resolute Desk.

• 1:36:09November Kelly?

  And then he went to like Catholic hell.

• 1:36:15Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, this is all timer for nothing else for the flu game numbers.

• 1:36:21November Kelly?

  Oh, my tummy hurts.

• 1:36:23Speaker 00

  I'll tell you what, you believe that, believe this fucking shit was underwater? I can't do a good Texas accent.

• 1:36:29Speaker 03

  Also, you said the most filthy water I've heard in my entire life just there.

• 1:36:35November Kelly?

  Just like, just like getting a letter, like signed, robo-signed by LBJ that's like, uh, sorry, your son got owned in Vietnam or whatever. And you're like, why does this have a dick print slapped into it?

• 1:36:48Speaker 00

  Who was, who was the British Ambassador to, uh, to America back then?

• 1:36:52November Kelly?

  Kim Philby probably. I don't know. Some kind of like.

• 1:36:57Speaker 00

  Got, dang old, get, get dang old, uh, Kim Philby in here. Yeah. Look how big this thing is. Look at this. Alright, how about that? I'll tell you what.

• 1:37:07November Kelly?

  I say, boy, this is delightfully gauche.

• 1:37:11Speaker 00

  Whoa, whoa, I dare say, uh.

• 1:37:17Speaker 00

  Now, tell, tell him, Kim, you got that dick, dang old dick that big down over, over Britain town, this fucking.

• 1:37:23Liam McAnderson?

  Are you trying to do page him?

• 1:37:24Speaker 00

  No, I'm doing Boomhauer. It's only Texas accent. That dang old, dang old Boomhauer.

• 1:39:52Liam McAnderson?

  We have had, I have had enough of Italy and Italians. I keep saying.

• 1:39:57Liam McAnderson?

  The thing, the thing is, right, for as far as I know, I have zero Italian DNA or heritage and I, and I'm proud of that.

• 1:40:05November Kelly?

  Yeah, you say that in every conversation.

• 1:40:07Liam McAnderson?

  I do. I lead with that. And Chris is like, there's no way that's possible. Like, everyone's a little bit Italian. Unfortunately, Corinne is a little bit Italian. So when I have children, they're gonna be at least partially Italian, and that brings great shame and dishonor to my bloodline.

• 1:40:24November Kelly?

  My, my like 1% Etruscan kids.

• 1:40:28Justin Roczniak?

  Oh my god.

• 1:40:29Liam McAnderson?

  It's gotta be like a quarter, Tom. I don't, I really don't know how technology works, man.

• 1:40:33Speaker 00

  How do you say it? Razna? Razna?

• 1:40:35Liam McAnderson?

  Get back to the weather, Tom. This is your job.

• 1:40:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is Tarkin Superbus with the weather.

• 1:40:44Speaker 00

  Alright, so, so, so we had, we, I didn't, I didn't even do the fucking Joe Biden where he's sleepy, he's sleeping in Scranton. It's snowing outside. He's very cozy. He's 10 years old, because Joe Biden was 10 years old in fucking 1952. He's dreaming of his move to Delmarva. He's dreaming about beautiful women's hair.

• 1:41:01Justin Roczniak?

  He's gonna, he's gonna get a Red Ryder carbide action BB gun with the, the, the, the scope and the thing that tells time. Yeah.

• 1:41:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:41:08Liam McAnderson?

  I fucking hate that movie. God damn.

• 1:41:10Speaker 00

  And, and, and so this, this, this low pressure system's formed off Cape Hatteras and it's moving, um, moving up. So, so the, the Pendleton's moving up the eastern seaboard. It's, the Pendleton is experiencing the weather the entire way. So they have like a real shit ride of it.

• 1:41:27Speaker 00

  The weather kids keeps getting worse on the 17th as, as the 17th wears on. They reach the outs, the outskirts of Bassett Harbor. And they can't find Boston Light. So what do you do when you have bad weather on a boat before GPS was invented? You're going to just be like, fuck it. I'm gonna stay out at sea and wait till this whole thing blows over.

• 1:41:51Liam McAnderson?

  Well, I, I think if I'm outside Boston Harbor, I just start shouting slurs until somebody comes back. I agree with you.

• 1:41:57Speaker 00

  The Lorraine Sea radar, um, the operator is just a fucking guy from Southie yelling slurs.

• 1:42:03Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it's just my dad. Not yelling slurs. It's just about the Cuban Revolution.

• 1:42:07Speaker 00

  We've developed, we've, on the news today, the boys have developed a new type of guy from Boston who could say slurs with accuracy up to one half arc minute.

• 1:42:17November Kelly?

  Just daredevil, I think.

• 1:42:20Speaker 00

  And that's how Mark Wahlberg was invented. So, so they laid a course out to keep her off of Cape Cod, facing into the wind and weather, sort of lying to, standard procedure, it still is, it's the best thing you can do when you can't get, find a safe harbor. And Cape Cod is not a particularly, it's somewhat treacherous. The east coast of the United States has a lot of shallow water, it's a gently sloping shallow so it sneaks up on you. But further north, once you get north of Long Island, right, there's a lot of like little, you know, because of the glaciers and that kind of stuff, there's lots of little like rocky sea mounts and stuff like that. So it's not, it's not like a smooth,

• 1:43:03Speaker 00

  if you're thinking of, if you're someone from Philly, it's not like a Jersey Shore perfectly smooth coastline. You can blame the Laurentid ice sheet for that. So at this-

• 1:43:12November Kelly?

  And I do.

• 1:43:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Fuck you Greenland. During this time, also, the Fort Mercer was steaming north, now she's a little further south, but she's experiencing the same weather, big strong ship, weather storms before, she's still making way for Portland. But, but again, by Sunday evening, the weather's getting pretty bad, and she starts lying to in the wind, just trying to ride it out. And it's nothing that, I mean, these ships are designed to go, to go across the ocean, they're designed for this weather. They're not, you know-

• 1:43:42November Kelly?

  Metallurgy aside.

• 1:43:43Speaker 00

  Metalurgy aside, right, on paper, they're not, they're not like ships that, like that, that suck. They're not-

• 1:43:48Speaker 03

  Well, they've been built across the Atlantic, right? And the Atlantic is famously, how can we put this? Not, not a walk in the park.

• 1:43:57Speaker 00

  Right, it's-

• 1:43:57November Kelly?

  It's not a walk in the park.

• 1:43:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, yeah, I'm not trying to do some Pacific Ocean where it's nice and peaceful, I'm trying to do the Atlantic, that's where, that's, you know, remember when the oceans were hard?

• 1:44:06November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:08November Kelly?

  Atlantic actually comes from the Latin for you will get your ass beat here, as opposed to Pacific, which is like Latin for like chill.

• 1:44:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah. The Pacific is very calm until it isn't, the Atlantic wants to kill you all the time.

• 1:44:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, the Pacific in Latin, man, that just, Pacific is just like, dude, we're gonna, we're gonna keef out, we're gonna chill, we're just gonna relax. And the Atlantic is, I don't know, do meth.

• 1:44:32Speaker 00

  So, so, um, she's trying to write out the worst, but things start to get worse. Roz, say the date.

• 1:44:39Justin Roczniak?

  Monday, February 18th, 1952.

• 1:44:43Speaker 00

  So, you can see on the right, this is the one.

• 1:44:46Liam McAnderson?

  That was a good.

• 1:44:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I enjoyed that a lot.

• 1:44:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, they.

• 1:44:49Justin Roczniak?

  Thank you.

• 1:44:50Speaker 00

  The, the, I'm now looking at your John Madden-ing where you're drawing the pressure line like it's a movement line or the iso height. It's okay.

• 1:44:57Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, is that, is that wrong?

• 1:44:59Speaker 00

  I don't know. No, you wait, hold on, because I'm looking at the real tiny version. Oh, no, that is the movement of the low. You're right. So that's the movement of the low off the coast. And we have what's, what's now basically a really, this is a classic nor'easter. It's a really strong nor'easter. The, it's a 977 mil bar low. There's getting, Portland, I think, has the, it still stands as like the fourth most snow they ever got.

• 1:45:23Justin Roczniak?

  For, for those who are not in the know, a nor'easter is a particular type of storm that hits the northeast of the United States during the winter. Delivers a lot of snow offshore, a lot of, you know, rough seas and wind and so on and so forth.

• 1:45:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:45:39Justin Roczniak?

  Um, they're great. I love when we get like four feet of snow. It's fantastic.

• 1:45:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're awesome. And this, this is sort of a classic, um, this is like a classic nor'easter that, that forms, that forms off of like Carolinas and moves up the coast.

• 1:45:53Speaker 03

  It's worth saying, it's worth, sorry, sorry, Tom, just worth saying, um, so certainly in the, in the second picture here, uh, where you've got this formation of the wind. I mean, the wind runs sort of, um, along the, the iso bars, right? So you, you get, so, so you've, and in this case, you're going to have, uh, well, wait, let me get this right. It'll be anti-clockwise winds spinning around.

• 1:46:16Speaker 00

  Counter-clockwise and freedom words.

• 1:46:19Speaker 03

  Yes, uh, yeah, sorry. Counter-clockwise, um, and, uh, and yeah, so that's blowing off the coast for where, like blowing from the coast onto the sea for where the, our, our, our two, uh, hero ships are at this point, right?

• 1:46:32Speaker 00

  Yeah. So on the south side of the low, you would have like wind being pulled in from like the, the land and then on the north. Coming in from the sea. Yeah. And you can see the frontal boundary there. Friction doesn't means that it doesn't and the Coriolis effect means it doesn't perfectly line up. But yeah, it's generally blowing in counterclockwise into the low. It and it's an extratropical cyclone, which is a typical, that's what a nor'easter is. Sometimes, though, they do become semi tropical, subtropical, sorry, is the word for it. In this case, regardless of the classification, it is, it would would be classified as a tropical storm. That's how strong it is, possibly even a low category one. Ooh.

• 1:47:16Speaker 00

  We just don't have the thing, the, the, the data. These weather maps were, were people at the National Weather Service drawing them, right? So.

• 1:47:26Justin Roczniak?

  Before you could fly.

• 1:47:27November Kelly?

  I bet this feels good as hell to be a meteorologist.

• 1:47:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, I mean, yeah, that it's sick job. You get to draw all day and be like, ooh, it looks bad. Shit.

• 1:47:40Justin Roczniak?

  Damn, hope this one doesn't hit Tampa Bay.

• 1:47:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47:42Justin Roczniak?

  It didn't hit Tampa Bay.

• 1:47:44November Kelly?

  Yeah, might, might rattle my drawing table.

• 1:47:46Speaker 00

  You have to pretend that you're like, man, yeah, I don't want this to intensify to a really cool, big storm. Cause people will die. That would be horrible. I don't.

• 1:47:54November Kelly?

  Yeah, I'd hate to have to draw one of those.

• 1:47:56Speaker 00

  Really cool ones. That's like big. Yeah. And, and also if you notice that the, the ISO lines there, the tighter the, the ISO bars are, the, the faster the wind. And the steep, cause the steeper the pressure gradient. Yeah. So.

• 1:48:08Speaker 03

  People in Britain should be familiar with this because most of our weather comes from weather patterns that look like this, like pretty much all of our weather does.

• 1:48:14Speaker 00

  These, these move offshore, become European windstorms. And then you give them stupid names like Storm, Storm Frankie.

• 1:48:21Speaker 03

  No, that's a recent gimmick. We, we, we haven't always done that. That's a recent thing.

• 1:48:25Speaker 00

  Weather, weather alert red or whatever you guys use over there. I remember, I remember first time I were like, oh, we have a red alert. I was like, for what? Is he the Dukes?

• 1:48:34November Kelly?

  Wind, wind. You might get like a, you know, some roof slates knocked off.

• 1:48:38Speaker 00

  No, I was actually.

• 1:48:39Justin Roczniak?

  My God, we're gonna get two inches of rain.

• 1:48:42Speaker 00

  I got, um, uh.

• 1:48:44Justin Roczniak?

  That's one inch more than we usually get each day.

• 1:48:49Speaker 00

  The jacks are gonna be soaked. Dan and Kattika, the fucking jacks are gonna be fucking soaked.

• 1:48:56Speaker 00

  So, we pride ourselves on our dry jacks down here in Dingle.

• 1:49:07Speaker 00

  Shouts out, Dingle. One of the few places I shit my pants.

• 1:49:16Speaker 00

  I shit my pants on the Great Baskett Island.

• 1:49:20November Kelly?

  And all I got was this lousy change of pants.

• 1:49:22Liam McAnderson?

  Which I had to wipe my ass with.

• 1:49:26Speaker 00

  And then discreetly disposed of in a protected environmental area.

• 1:49:33November Kelly?

  Digging a grave for your pants with a trowel, like you're wild camping.

• 1:49:39Speaker 00

  Reading my pegsayers, you know, story of the Baskett Islanders while, you know, like...

• 1:49:46November Kelly?

  Throwing a pair of shit-covered Levi's into a protected water course and calling it good and leaving the country the next day.

• 1:49:55Justin Roczniak?

  Doing a prayer nude from the waist down.

• 1:49:59Speaker 00

  That's how my Celtic ancestors did it, Roz.

• 1:50:03November Kelly?

  Why is that guy covered in brown woad?

• 1:50:08Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, it's not woad.

• 1:50:12Speaker 00

  There's gotta be too many hallucinating mushrooms and going berserk around here. Alright, weather. Jesus, this is gonna be an eight-hour episode.

• 1:50:19Liam McAnderson?

  Sorry, Devin.

• 1:50:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're already at two hours. Holy shit. So, this is a bad storm. It's blown about 30, 35 knots inland. The cutoff, I always forget it, cut this part out.

• 1:50:32November Kelly?

  Yeah, that should take this episode down to a mid, you know, like seven, seven hours.

• 1:50:39Speaker 00

  34 knots. That's what I thought it was. I wanted to double-check. 34 knots is the low end for a tropical storm. 64 knots is a hurricane.

• 1:50:48Justin Roczniak?

  Tropical storm in February, not very common.

• 1:50:51Speaker 00

  So, it wasn't a tropical storm, but it was tropical storm strength.

• 1:50:57Speaker 00

  Out at sea with the lack of friction where winds are just blowing over the fucking ocean. Sixty, seventy knots gusting into the seventies and seas building to fifty feet.

• 1:51:11November Kelly?

  Fuck that.

• 1:51:13Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I don't like that.

• 1:51:14November Kelly?

  I don't want to do that in a ship that isn't made out of cast iron.

• 1:51:17Speaker 00

  No, that's insanely, I wouldn't want to do that on a fucking oil rig. Like, that's bad. This, so like I said, this nor'easter would be considered probably a strong tropical storm. So, we have, we have, there's a phenomenon that happens here. This, this low deep in twenty-seven mill bars in twenty-four hours. So that means, yes, folks, we have just experienced explosion sound.

• 1:51:46Justin Roczniak?

  Explosive psychogenesis.

• 1:51:51November Kelly?

  Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Is this, is this what is also sometimes called a bomb cyclone?

• 1:51:58Speaker 00

  This is a bomb cyclone, dude.

• 1:52:02November Kelly?

  Sick dog? Thank you, Pennsylvania, Frank.

• 1:52:05Justin Roczniak?

  I believe since it's near Boston, it'd be wicked.

• 1:52:08Speaker 00

  It's a wicked cyclone.

• 1:52:13Speaker 00

  Liam, do the Boston voice, please.

• 1:52:16Liam McAnderson?

  It's just my dad.

• 1:52:20Liam McAnderson?

  Explosive psychogenesis. Liam, what more do you fucking want? Leave me alone. There I was. It was March of nineteen sixty-eight and

• 1:52:30Liam McAnderson?

  I was high as a kite in the Massachusetts State House and don't remember much of it. I was doing research on King Philip's War. Let me tell you about, let me tell you about Cuba for the next four and a half hours.

• 1:52:45Speaker 00

  Let me tell you about Metacom.

• 1:52:47Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, literally fucking that. That was my whole childhood.

• 1:52:54Speaker 00

  Surprisingly Hebrew sounding name for Native American. Maybe the Mormons were on to something.

• 1:53:04Speaker 00

  Wizard, reformed Egyptian.

• 1:53:07November Kelly?

  So crazy that Mitt Romney is president.

• 1:53:10Speaker 00

  President of the New England Commonwealth.

• 1:53:12Liam McAnderson?

  He could be president if you voted.

• 1:53:14Speaker 00

  So Devin, in post, can you add like a cool announcer guy reverb FX thing? When I say explosives like oh Genesis.

• 1:53:31Speaker 00

  Explosives like low Genesis.

• 1:53:33Justin Roczniak?

  Sunday, Sunday, Sunday at the municipal arena.

• 1:53:37Speaker 00

  Grave digger is facing off against explosives like Genesis.

• 1:53:45November Kelly?

  Having to throw away my jeans after I experienced explosive Cyclone Genesis.

• 1:53:50Liam McAnderson?

  It's always tough out here.

• 1:53:53Speaker 00

  Bomb Cyclone.

• 1:53:56Speaker 00

  So yeah, so real shit happened during your night. Neck?

• 1:53:59Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, you had to throw out your pants.

• 1:54:03Speaker 00

  If you think I had to shoot my pants, I was on an island. What do you think these guys did? All right, let's go to the next slide.

• 1:54:09Justin Roczniak?

  Bring me my brown pants.

• 1:54:12Liam McAnderson?

  They're like soil by some means.

• 1:54:14Speaker 00

  I love that part of Master Commander where they bring the waxed our pollen drawers.

• 1:54:21Speaker 00

  So for the guys who shit their pants fighting the Achron.

• 1:54:29November Kelly?

  May I just say?

• 1:54:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:54:30November Kelly?

  Fuck this.

• 1:54:31Speaker 00

  So this is from the pretty mid movie, The Finest Hours, of which I probably should have said at the beginning. The this, this, this, a lot of my shit is based on the book. And so a couple of other sources online, but The Finest Hours is a good book. The movie's mid, it's got Chris Pine, it's got a shoe who it's got shoe who'd love interest because you can't have a. You can't just have guys on a fucking boat. See, that's why Master Commander did it well. It's guys on the boat. There's no romance.

• 1:55:01Justin Roczniak?

  Some, sometimes it's just guys on the boat, you know, you know, it's or it's guys on the submarine.

• 1:55:07November Kelly?

  Yeah, none of these guys like the.

• 1:55:09Speaker 00

  Guys on a boat, no fucking gay women around.

• 1:55:14Speaker 00

  None of that shit.

• 1:55:16Speaker 00

  Yo, this is real fucking Sacred Band of Thieves type shit. Real just, just boys, men. Being just, just men, just hanging out with the bros. That's what we're trying to do. All right. So this is from the movie, but the movie.

• 1:55:30Justin Roczniak?

  Again, nothing sexual.

• 1:55:31Speaker 00

  Nothing sexual.

• 1:55:34November Kelly?

  No.

• 1:55:38Speaker 00

  It's gotta be a bicep.

• 1:55:45Justin Roczniak?

  Come hang out with us in our party tanker.

• 1:55:46Speaker 00

  This is where you have fucking five hosts with ADHD.

• 1:55:51Speaker 00

  Not a single one of us is neurotypical.

• 1:55:54Speaker 03

  No, no, no, that's, that's correct, yep.

• 1:55:58Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:55:58November Kelly?

  Especially not, especially not now, Jesus.

• 1:56:00Speaker 00

  I haven't had a drink in like two weeks. This is, this is, this is pure, this is, this is pure Tom.

• 1:56:06Justin Roczniak?

  I haven't had a drink in like two seconds.

• 1:56:10November Kelly?

  Hmm. They give you a chip for that?

• 1:56:12Justin Roczniak?

  I don't think so.

• 1:56:14Speaker 00

  You got a sponsor. Milkshake's your sponsor for that.

• 1:56:16Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:18Speaker 00

  The cutest sponsor ever. So, the CGI is actually pretty good on this one, in the movie. I watched it the first time I had COVID. Alright, alright, so the Pendleton is lying to, trying to hold position, whether as you said, tried in true tactic. The most important thing though is, is, is keeping an eye on the leash shore. Where the wind is blowing you into, any land that the wind might blow you into. And this is still a concern even today. Double a concern back when navigation was whipping out the chart, doing some dead reckoning, maybe have some Lorraine C. They don't have GPS. They have a compass and they have, they have dividers and they have, you know, a fucking sextant.

• 1:57:02November Kelly?

  Yeah, and you're doing this in the bridge that is currently being like fucked around, my god, like Neptune.

• 1:57:09Justin Roczniak?

  And it's a giant unseasoned cast iron pan.

• 1:57:13Speaker 00

  You're in the lodge cast iron, the cute little mini ones you get at the, at the, uh, cracker.

• 1:57:18Justin Roczniak?

  No, I mean, it's got paint on it, so I guess it's enameled.

• 1:57:21Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 1:57:22Liam McAnderson?

  That ain't gonna save ya.

• 1:57:23Speaker 00

  The, the, so-

• 1:57:26Justin Roczniak?

  But you can use soap on it.

• 1:57:27Speaker 00

  So, when, when this, the 17th, as the sun sets, things are shitty but manageable. By, by midnight, things are still kind of shitty, but the waves are, are as the book describes, the size of small buildings. By morning, the seas are so bad that the crew are forbidden to go on the weather deck. You cannot leave. Yeah.

• 1:57:52November Kelly?

  Yeah, because of the weather.

• 1:57:53Speaker 00

  You are, fun fact, you are exposed to weather on the weather deck. Just, yeah, you do not want to know what's going on on the poop deck.

• 1:58:00Justin Roczniak?

  What is?

• 1:58:01Speaker 00

  I'm on, I'm on, it's wet. It's where the jacks are. It's where I am.

• 1:58:06Justin Roczniak?

  What is the weather deck?

• 1:58:09Speaker 00

  Just the deck, like, the deck that is exposed to the atmosphere.

• 1:58:13Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, so is this like, like, the, the lower parts of the ship in the middle?

• 1:58:17Speaker 00

  It's any deck that's exposed to weather.

• 1:58:19Speaker 03

  It's a fancy way of saying outside.

• 1:58:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're not allowed to go outside, right? You can't, you can't.

• 1:58:25Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, I see.

• 1:58:26Speaker 00

  You might, you might have a safer, more enclosed deck. Actually, uh, in, Tom is fucking idiot, and it's the, you know, um, it's, it's the, the weather deck is actually, you know.

• 1:58:38Speaker 00

  Sound off in the comments, tell me how much of a fucking idiot he is.

• 1:58:40Speaker 03

  Go, go, go, go, go in the comments, everyone.

• 1:58:41Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, if you made it this far.

• 1:58:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:44November Kelly?

  Well, the, this is the thing, they self-select, the ones who make it this far are the ones who are.

• 1:58:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:58:48Speaker 03

  I, I noticed that this one has all the telly-tubby, um, airlet things on the CGI, so, uh, yeah, shout out to the CGI people.

• 1:58:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, how about that?

• 1:58:58Justin Roczniak?

  Hey, it looks better than a Marvel movie.

• 1:59:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:59:01Speaker 03

  It really does.

• 1:59:02Speaker 00

  This is a Disney production, though.

• 1:59:03Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm. What?

• 1:59:04Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, sorry. So by early morning, right, it's, it's that bad, and the leash shore's coming closer, the Pendleton is not able to, a- and this is where, like, lying to, the formula lying to, right? You want to be making enough forward progress, you're not getting pushed as a leash shore, but you don't want to be going so fast, you're going to ride the waves poorly. And it, at this point, you can't go fast enough to outmaneuver the weather, uh, without, like, shaking the shit out of everybody and getting some nasty slams. Or having the helmsman literally, and, and I don't even think you could do it, you own a powerboat, you can, you can, you know, go up and down on the throttle, um, a- as you take seas. In this case, right, there's probably a significant.

• 1:59:44Speaker 03

  Time's not quick enough, so it's not gonna.

• 1:59:45Speaker 00

  It's, it's too, yeah, it's not a fucking, you know, uh.

• 1:59:49Speaker 03

  It's not an outboard boater.

• 1:59:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's not a fucking Mercury 150, yeah. So by 5:50 a.m. in the morning on Friday, Monday.

• 1:59:58Liam McAnderson?

  Just say 5:50 a.m.

• 2:00:00Speaker 00

  I put that in there just to annoy you, Liam.

• 2:00:01Liam McAnderson?

  I know you did.

• 2:00:03Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, deep cut for the real heads.

• 2:00:06November Kelly?

  And he still caught her, which is impressive.

• 2:00:07Speaker 00

  The Pendleton took a wave so hard that she was cloven in twain between the number six and number nine tanks.

• 2:00:13Justin Roczniak?

  Ah, nice.

• 2:00:14November Kelly?

  I would hate to take a wave so hard as cloven in twain.

• 2:00:17Justin Roczniak?

  Between the six and nine decks, tanks, yeah.

• 2:00:20Speaker 00

  One of the things that is sort of scuttlebutt is she might have like bottomed out and.

• 2:00:28Liam McAnderson?

  Daddy.

• 2:00:29November Kelly?

  No, I would hate to.

• 2:00:31Speaker 00

  Be pushed into shallow waters. We're talking like 34, 30 foot waters where the trough, you actually get this for them where like the trough of the wave will actually take the ship and slam it into the seafloor.

• 2:00:43Speaker 03

  Cause yeah, cause I suppose the water might be like 15 feet. If you've got shallow area, the water is only 15 feet deep. The boat's just gonna slam straight through that.

• 2:00:50Speaker 00

  So one of the, one of the, did you just note the decisiveness? The, the people on the ship report that the, it was like the ship got picked up by God and slammed into the water.

• 2:01:03Liam McAnderson?

  Fuck that, dude.

• 2:01:05November Kelly?

  Running a ground in the middle of fucking ocean.

• 2:01:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:01:09Liam McAnderson?

  Hmm.

• 2:01:10Justin Roczniak?

  Because that's.

• 2:01:12Speaker 00

  There's a video game called Sailwind that has a pretty realistic water component and then that can actually happen to you in the game. And people complain on the forum, like the Discord, they're like, oh, this is, no, actually it's realistic. It can happen, but we don't know.

• 2:01:23Justin Roczniak?

  But the movie Interstellar also very realistic in this sense.

• 2:01:28Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, and there's no like way to determine for certain if that actually happened, uh, based on what happened following this. The stern of the ship, as we mentioned, contains power plant engineering propulsion. That was still afloat. It's because of the Titanic, we, we have a much better watertight compartment design. So they were able to slam all the bulkhead doors shut. The stern is afloat and powered. The bow was not. The bow is just bobbing in the fucking ocean.

• 2:02:07Speaker 00

  The front fell off.

• 2:02:08November Kelly?

  The front fell off.

• 2:02:09Speaker 00

  One problem, right? So the people in the stern, they're alive.

• 2:02:12Speaker 03

  Oh wait, so that, that, that implies there were some people, uh, in the bow?

• 2:02:16Speaker 00

  There are nine people in the bow.

• 2:02:18Justin Roczniak?

  They had the radio in the bow.

• 2:02:21Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 2:02:22Speaker 00

  But they don't got electricity anymore.

• 2:02:25Speaker 03

  Or a floating vessel.

• 2:02:26Speaker 00

  Right.

• 2:02:27Justin Roczniak?

  It's gone poorly.

• 2:02:28Speaker 00

  It's still, it's, it is still floating.

• 2:02:30Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. Oh, god.

• 2:02:31Speaker 00

  But it's, but it's, it's got no propulsion.

• 2:02:34Speaker 03

  It's very weird to think of, it's very weird to think of two halves of a ship still being able to successfully float, but, uh, I think.

• 2:02:41Speaker 00

  It's kinda cool, but right, they were still, I mean, the ships were not horribly designed in the sense, so they, you know, they were still able to, the, the, the, the people in the stern were still actually able to maneuver.

• 2:02:52Speaker 03

  Bloody hell.

• 2:02:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, in reverse. It was easier to go in reverse, but, um.

• 2:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, cause the front fell off.

• 2:02:58Speaker 00

  The front fell off. The stern had no radio, so the people in the front got all the radio and no power. The people in the s-

• 2:03:05November Kelly?

  Hmm, plus the people of Boston can't even hear you shouting slurs over the storm.

• 2:03:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, fucking Marky Mark can't pick it up. Um, uh, there was no way for either section of the ship to call a mayday. They're, they're absolute nightmare.

• 2:03:22Speaker 03

  Nightmare scenario.

• 2:03:23Speaker 00

  And the movie does a really good job showing that the ship split and just the faces on the guys are like, "Yo, what the fuck? You don't expect your ship to split in half in just one go."

• 2:03:35Justin Roczniak?

  To, we're still splits in half and you, you haven't died.

• 2:03:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:03:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:03:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:03:40Justin Roczniak?

  And. Damn, I still have to do the survival shit, goddammit.

• 2:03:45Speaker 00

  And.

• 2:03:45November Kelly?

  I'm so tired of this. That's, that's the most, the most Roz reaction you can have in any kind of emergency situation. Why have I not been killed instantly?

• 2:03:56Justin Roczniak?

  No, I'm still alive. I can still get out of this somehow.

• 2:04:00Speaker 00

  Damn it, I was outside of the fallout radius.

• 2:04:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 2:04:04November Kelly?

  It's not the despair. I can take the despair.

• 2:04:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I didn't want the hope. Come on, come on, come on. Hit me with something. Come on. Oh, my God.

• 2:04:14Speaker 00

  You just have to move closer to

• 2:04:15Liam McAnderson?

  Clutching his beer.

• 2:04:16Speaker 00

  Strategic, you know, strategically important locations. So.

• 2:04:22Justin Roczniak?

  I'm not gonna kill myself, but something should do it to me. Come on.

• 2:04:25Speaker 00

  You wanna get taken out in the explosion or the fireball at least, or just be pulverized by the shockwave, right?

• 2:04:34Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:35Speaker 00

  That's not happening on this boat. And even if the Pendleton had the radio, the Coast Guard's already busy.

• 2:04:41Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, why?

• 2:04:43Speaker 00

  Let's see, next slide, please. No, Gareth, that's not the Loch Ness monster. That's Cape Cod.

• 2:04:47Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, I did think that was a diplodocus in the thumb.

• 2:04:52November Kelly?

  Stealing, stealing South Coast valor, having a chatham, although I assume you pronounce it chatham or some shit like that.

• 2:04:58Speaker 00

  They do tend, in New England, they do tend to say a little closer. But every town in New England is either like Penobscocoba's set or like Cuntingham. Yeah.

• 2:05:13Liam McAnderson?

  It was, it is Framlingham in England. We don't know why we dropped the L.

• 2:05:16Justin Roczniak?

  Bow which.

• 2:05:18November Kelly?

  I really enjoyed the lib Dems winning here annotations for the Pendleton.

• 2:05:24Speaker 00

  I love, I love, this is, this is from the Boston Globe, too. Yeah, so shouts out. Don't copyright strike this. So at 8 a.m. in the morning on the 18th, the Fort Mercer crew noticed a slight crack on the starboard side. Now, unlike the Pendleton, the crew of Fort Mercer was able to radio for help. And the message was actually widely received. There were vessels out. It's the 18th, so the storm, it's picked up by the Coast Guard Cutter East Wind. And the East Wind was out because it was looking for a fishing boat that was overdue and never came back. It had an Italian name, too. I can't remember what it was. Pasalina or something like that.

• 2:06:02November Kelly?

  The fucking envy of Italian Bill Clinton.

• 2:06:06Speaker 00

  Guillermo, what is, is it Guillermo? No, that's Spanish. Yeah. The Guillermo del

• 2:06:10November Kelly?

  The Guillermo del Toro.

• 2:06:13Speaker 00

  What if Bill Clinton was Italian?

• 2:06:18Justin Roczniak?

  I'm not even gonna try that.

• 2:06:22Liam McAnderson?

  Alright, he's falling asleep, keep it moving, Tom.

• 2:06:24Speaker 00

  Alright, alright.

• 2:06:24Justin Roczniak?

  I'm not falling asleep, I'm fine, I just went to go grab a beer out of the fridge.

• 2:06:29Speaker 00

  So, so I am fucking sweating like a goddamn pig right now.

• 2:06:34Speaker 00

  Podcasting too hard. So the east wind, the east wind was about 150 miles away, looking for this, uh, the, the, the Italian fishing vessel. It's probably out of New Haven or something like that. And, um, it was looking grim.

• 2:06:48Justin Roczniak?

  That's why they have the good pizza there.

• 2:06:49Speaker 00

  It is. It was looking grim. They didn't really find anything, and kind of like a sad aside is they only ever found bits and pieces of that boat. Sort of a, yeah, don't go out in the fucking storm. And have you learned nothing? Did you guys not see the perfect storm?

• 2:07:05Liam McAnderson?

  I was gonna say.

• 2:07:06Speaker 00

  You say that's the talky, the perfect storm, it's set in the future.

• 2:07:12November Kelly?

  Guy who looks exactly like me getting swept off the weather deck, is that good?

• 2:07:16Speaker 00

  So, uh, the skipper of the east wind decides to move, uh, alright, we're gonna, we're gonna go to, uh, help the Fort Mercer. It's, uh, they know it's, it's gonna take about three hours to get there.

• 2:07:26Speaker 00

  And, uh, the Fort Mercer at this point is reporting 68 foot waves.

• 2:07:31Liam McAnderson?

  No thanks.

• 2:07:32Justin Roczniak?

  That's, uh, that's, uh, that's taller than my house.

• 2:07:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:35Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it's taller than two of my houses.

• 2:07:37November Kelly?

  Enjoying the specificity of, of, of 68 feet of light? Do you send a guy out there to count them?

• 2:07:42Speaker 00

  So, so in the book, I, I, I...

• 2:07:45November Kelly?

  Would you recognize this wave if you saw it again? And it's in front of the usual suspect's height chart that goes up to 68?

• 2:07:52Speaker 00

  His, his arm extended with his fuck, alright, so, degrees here.

• 2:07:58Speaker 00

  Alright, that's 25.

• 2:08:00Justin Roczniak?

  Let me take out my sextant.

• 2:08:01Speaker 00

  Let me take out my sextant. Ah, shit, it hit me the fucking eye.

• 2:08:06Justin Roczniak?

  Go again.

• 2:08:07Speaker 00

  So, uh, uh, it, it weathers, it weathers fairly well. Until about 11:40 AM. And at this point, the crack starts to rapidly expand. Um, and by noon, the ship splits in half.

• 2:08:23Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 2:08:23Justin Roczniak?

  Wow.

• 2:08:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:08:24Liam McAnderson?

  Well.

• 2:08:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. So we got two fucking ships split in half.

• 2:08:29November Kelly?

  No, we have four ships. We have four ships.

• 2:08:31Speaker 00

  Now we have four ships. Yeah.

• 2:08:32Liam McAnderson?

  We have four ships.

• 2:08:33Speaker 00

  We have, we have the reverse ship of Theseus here.

• 2:08:36Justin Roczniak?

  Again, mitosis.

• 2:08:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:08:43November Kelly?

  Yeah. Theseus is flat.

• 2:08:44Speaker 00

  That's a kind of sick band name. Uh, the, they were able to prepare like ahead of time. The bulkheads are sealed off, but again, the same situation. The stern of the Fort Mercer has all the power propulsion. The bow has the commands, the radio and no energy. Um, in this case, the, the Fort Mercer's bow, first it floats away. It, it takes like two, two bangs for it to really split in half. It was like getting pulled apart. So like I pulled apart once and then another wave pulled it, pulled it completely separated it. And the, the bow again bobs away forward. And then the waves are pushing it back. And for some fucking reason, the Fort Mercer engine, uh, they shut it down. And the guys in the stern are like, yo, yo, turn the engine back on.

• 2:09:29Speaker 00

  And they slammed, they slammed the fucker in reverse so that the bow, I guess, I guess the former bow was trying to reconnect. Um, and they backed the fuck out.

• 2:09:37November Kelly?

  Um. Ghosted.

• 2:09:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, they ghosted their own guys. All of this is going on.

• 2:09:42November Kelly?

  Fake friends. Never believed in magic till I saw my dog turn into a snake.

• 2:09:45Justin Roczniak?

  The last thing you want to do is go down in history is the only ship that collided with itself.

• 2:09:51Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 2:09:51Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. You know, yeah.

• 2:09:53Speaker 00

  That would be quite fun. And, um, at, at this case, still no one knows about the Pendleton. Uh, next slide, please. All right. Um, so, so, so, so news of the Fort Mercer spreads. Uh, the Coast Guard activates for like a response. So there's a bunch of cutters, uh, all over New England. Uh, those who don't know, a cutter is a, is a Coast Guard vessel 65 feet length longer. So they're the bigger ones. They can weather. Uh, most of these are like, uh, decommissioned or, uh, former destroyers that were turned over, either turned over by the Navy or the Coast Guard used them in naval service during World War II. Uh, you know, like destroyer escort type of vessels.

• 2:10:29Speaker 00

  The rescue to of the Fort Mercer was on. So the Coast Guard's like gets fucking send them all out. Whoever gets there first. So it's a race. The east wind is sort of like the mobile command post. There even there even is a USNS ship, a United States naval serve naval ship, which is not, it could be further than USS. It's a part of like the merchant marine. At the time, I think it was the Military Transport Command.

• 2:10:56November Kelly?

  That's Military Sea Lift Command.

• 2:10:57Speaker 00

  Yes, yes. It was the predecessor, the MTS.

• 2:11:00Liam McAnderson?

  It's naval ship, yeah.

• 2:11:01Speaker 00

  Yeah. So the the shorts, it's called the short splice. I like it when they name boats after knots or like knot related things. It's kind of cute.

• 2:11:11Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm.

• 2:11:12Speaker 00

  And so it just becomes a matter of time, right? The the cutters, they're very seaworthy, but they are slow. Now, the Fort Mercer was in range of several Coast Guard stations. And in the interest of time, it was decided that we're going to get the 36 foot motorboat, motor lifeboats up and ready.

• 2:11:31Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, God.

• 2:11:32Speaker 00

  Now, look at this 36 foot motor lifeboat to the right. They are, the motor lifeboats are the coolest shit the Coast Guard does. Besides, like, you know, the helicopters. I think.

• 2:11:42Justin Roczniak?

  Will, I will note that.

• 2:11:44November Kelly?

  Besides jumping onto the moving drug submarine.

• 2:11:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:11:47Justin Roczniak?

  There's no, there's no roof on this.

• 2:11:49Speaker 00

  That's okay.

• 2:11:50November Kelly?

  Okay. Top up, you know?

• 2:11:52Speaker 00

  Uh, you, you, they, they can.

• 2:11:54Speaker 03

  I was gonna say like the the UK equivalent of this does the orange, the famous Coast Guard orange boats that are, I'm gonna be honest, are based, they are very cool.

• 2:12:02Speaker 00

  They, they have Bimini tops, so they have like collapsible tops. Yeah.

• 2:12:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:12:06Justin Roczniak?

  I was just like, my, my immediate was like, oh, is this thing gonna get swamped? You know?

• 2:12:12Speaker 00

  Well, so funny you should say that. So what's really cool, like the RNLI, their lifeboats as well, they're designed to be self-righting.

• 2:12:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, you cannot, you cannot get these upside down.

• 2:12:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:12:22Speaker 03

  If you tried.

• 2:12:23Speaker 00

  They are cool as shit. The, the, if you go look up, there's some great, like, early to late 2000s compilations of the guys off, off of Oregon, do, taking their 47 foot motor lifeboats out and trying to flip them to let the bodies hit the floor. Um, just, you're fucking saving guys, you dumbasses. Why are you doing it? And you know, there's some fucking coasties like, dude, this is gonna be so fucking tight. This is good. Yeah, I love this song. Cause all these, cause you know, cause what you actually have is like army guys doing war crimes compilations to that song. And Coast Guard's like, now we're gonna, we're gonna try and flip our boat as hard as possible.

• 2:13:05Speaker 00

  While they're sitting at the top, so they get, because they have to train to get used to, like, you know how like flip, you people will flip their kayak? You have to learn how to like rate your kayak.

• 2:13:12November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:13:13Speaker 00

  Which, which is to me is a, I, is an anxiety inducing idea.

• 2:13:17November Kelly?

  Yeah, simply don't get in the kayak.

• 2:13:19Speaker 00

  No, fuck kayaks.

• 2:13:21November Kelly?

  They offered me, they offered me this one time and I'm like, fuck that, I'm gonna get in the sailboat.

• 2:13:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:13:25November Kelly?

  And then I flipped the fucking sailboat.

• 2:13:28Justin Roczniak?

  I understand it is possible to write yourself in a rowing skull, but I was terrified to try and do it. Especially since it was right under the Pennsylvania Avenue Bridge and I was like, I'm gonna knock my head on the ground. If I try and flip this thing.

• 2:13:44Speaker 00

  And I don't wanna know what's under the water, unless I can see it.

• 2:13:48Justin Roczniak?

  Slimy.

• 2:13:48November Kelly?

  Seeing a bunch of like slime covered murder weapons.

• 2:13:52Liam McAnderson?

  No, thanks.

• 2:13:52Justin Roczniak?

  No, I have inadvertently flipped that location and my foot touched the ground and it was not, it did not feel nice.

• 2:14:01Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly.

• 2:14:02Speaker 00

  I, I have done snorkeling where I didn't realize there was a shipwreck underneath. And it was like far enough down, it was in the, in the gloom and that scared the shit out of me. Fuck, fuck being underwater. I like being on top of the water.

• 2:14:16Justin Roczniak?

  I like being on top of the water. Very nice being under the water, not.

• 2:14:19November Kelly?

  We were not supposed to be in that realm. It's not our realm.

• 2:14:22Speaker 00

  No, no. Leave that to the, leave that to the fish.

• 2:14:25Justin Roczniak?

  And billionaires apparently.

• 2:14:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:14:28November Kelly?

  Well, no, the midst of billionaires.

• 2:14:34Speaker 00

  So, the, they're like, alright guys, you gotta get into the lifeboats, let's, let's get these ready. You guys might be able to make it there on time, cause, cause these can, these can haul ass. And the, but then the racer is throwing waves twice their length. That's not, I've been in like six foot seas on a boat. That fucking sucks. Sixty eight doesn't sound like fun. No. Um, so they- Two foot on a river sucks. Two feet sucks. Yeah, two feet fucking sucks. Um, the, the, uh, this is the old school coast guard era. They're fucking soft as shit now. They got like a risk management model. They talk about, they, they have like safe words. They talk about, are we green? Are we amber? Are we red?

• 2:15:20Speaker 00

  Same. They, you know, hey, do we have the personnel? Do we have the equipment? Back then it was like, you gotta go out, but you don't gotta come back.

• 2:15:32Speaker 00

  That's literally the unofficial motto of the coast guard up until, up until, up until woke ruined it. And remember when the seamen were hard? Well, that's a confusing sentence. Yeah.

• 2:15:45Speaker 00

  So the crews, uh, there's, there's the two closest lifeboat stations, the two closest lifeboat stations are in Nantucket and Chatham. Um, and they're told to get ready. Uh, Chatham has two and it's kind of weird. Chatham Harbor.

• 2:15:59Speaker 00

  It's like on a neck called Tom's neck, which is kind of cool. It is, yeah. Uh, and on one side is Chatham Harbor, the other, the other side is Stage Harbor. So they got one in Stage Harbor and one in Chatham Harbor. And the reason is, um, the, the geography of the southern part of Cape Cod, um, was it Montemoy Island? Stage Harbor can come out when there's an eastern, like you can go out of the west side, the southwest and go around Montemoy Island. Where you don't have to cross or like a, like a shallow bar to get out to sea. And the Chatham Harbor, if the wind is blowing from the east, you're going to go over Chatham Bar. Directly into the face of the wind with breaking, with breaking seas. So it's like depending on where the wind is blowing, you could send out one for, from the other.

• 2:16:45Speaker 00

  So they get these boats ready to go. The Nantucket Lifeboat leaves first around noon. Remember, they're still heading to Fort Mercer. We don't know about the Pendleton. And the Nantucket Lifeboat gets its shit wrecked and they go and they turn tail to the Pollock Rip Lighthouse. The only, uh, light ship. And it's called Pollock Rip because, um, no one told the Polish guys that it was a light ship, not a lighthouse. So, you know. Um, so, so they, like, the crew gets banged up. They, there's like lacerations and shit. So they, they're like, we're tying up to the fucking light ship and we're just chilling there. Like, we're, we're, we're not coming back yet. We went out. We're not coming back yet. Like, it's like, you know, you come back with your boat or on it.

• 2:17:29Speaker 00

  Um, sort of attitude. Uh, so they went away till things get a little nicer before they go back out. Um, at this time, uh, a little bit later at 12:30, um, the Coast Guard, uh, uh, the Stage Harbor Lifeboat, part of the Chatham Life, uh, Lifeboat, uh, Station, um, 36383, Coxon by all-time name guy Donald Banks.

• 2:17:50November Kelly?

  Why? Fuck yeah, he does.

• 2:17:52Speaker 00

  That's a fucking name.

• 2:17:54Justin Roczniak?

  I have a question. He's the Coxon and presumably he calls the Strokes.

• 2:17:59Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:18:00Justin Roczniak?

  And it's got a, I would assume a, some kind of reciprocating engine.

• 2:18:04Speaker 00

  95 horsepower two-stroke, uh, engine?

• 2:18:07Justin Roczniak?

  Gasoline.

• 2:18:07November Kelly?

  That sounds like, that sounds like a lot of calls.

• 2:18:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:18:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:18:16Liam McAnderson?

  Still have two going off, yeah.

• 2:18:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, single engine two, I believe. Uh, I, I recreated this in, uh, the game Stormworks, which is sucks. Don't ever play it.

• 2:18:28November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:18:30Speaker 00

  They sold me on this build, build and rescue. And then it's like, we've got guns and zombies now. You can go to space. I want to build a fucking Coast Guard boat and rescue people.

• 2:18:38November Kelly?

  Now, the reason why Stormworks sucks is because they expect you to design like a diesel engine from first principles out of Lego.

• 2:18:44Speaker 00

  All right, but I like that part.

• 2:18:46Justin Roczniak?

  It's, it's a great game that isn't very good.

• 2:18:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's, there's some great, every single aspect of the game is half baked.

• 2:18:53Speaker 03

  Ah, so it's a trust.

• 2:18:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:18:56Justin Roczniak?

  The learning curve is very, very steep.

• 2:18:59Speaker 00

  I learned how to do logic gates because of it. That was kind of cool. Um, so I feel bad for my wife. What's Tom doing in the fucking, going to the computer for 12 hours? I'm learning logic gates. I'm building a boat in the game.

• 2:19:12Speaker 00

  Look, I can look at the motor revs and I have like, I have like limiters on it. So it doesn't spin around the dial. Yeah. Cause you actually have to do shit like that. That game sucks. Don't play it.

• 2:19:22Justin Roczniak?

  It's a bad game. I play it all the time. Don't, don't, don't put yourself in my.

• 2:19:27Liam McAnderson?

  He said popping out of a session of Factorio.

• 2:19:30Speaker 00

  I see you've been on the, I see you've been on the, the mountain blade banner alert subreddit. I fuck, this game fucking sucks. 700 hours.

• 2:19:39Liam McAnderson?

  I too play Civ 4. Yes. Continue.

• 2:19:42Speaker 00

  So, so Donald bangs. God, I fucking love that name. He bangs his way out of, of stag, stage harbor, not stag harbor, stage harbor for the Fort Mercer stern. You gotta go all the way around the island, Montomois Island. Uh, they find out their radio is defective. They can re.

• 2:19:57Speaker 03

  Everyone's radios are fucked.

• 2:19:58November Kelly?

  No one knew how to make a radio back in the day.

• 2:20:01Speaker 00

  No, no, like everything fucking, Swiss cheese theory here, right?

• 2:20:06November Kelly?

  Much, much like steel radios in the, in those days depended on crystals.

• 2:20:10Speaker 00

  Yes, literally.

• 2:20:11November Kelly?

  The crystals. Yeah. No, I know. And the crystals were fucked.

• 2:20:14Justin Roczniak?

  The crystals were invented by a woman, so they.

• 2:20:18November Kelly?

  It's like a bridge too far. The fucking, uh, yeah, you got work radios.

• 2:20:21Speaker 00

  So, but then you could fix it like a child could fix it then. That's the other thing, but, um, so, uh, they may, they also make the way to the Pollock Rip Lighthouse, uh, light station. Light boat, not lighthouse, light ship. It's there on the left.

• 2:20:36Justin Roczniak?

  Light ship, yes.

• 2:20:37Speaker 00

  It's there on the left. It's, uh, it was still afloat in the era of digital photography. Um, and they, they use their radio to let Chadum know. It's like, we can only receive signals. Like, so I could hear you, but I can't, you know, they, they, they popped the, the, the chirp. Oh shit. The chirp chirp on their boost mobile.

• 2:20:53Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, being invaded again.

• 2:20:55Speaker 00

  All right, next slide, please. We're making our way, we're making progress. All right, so this becomes like a pretty region-wide Coast Guard search. The weather still sucks, but it's starting to get better as the day wears on. And it's clear enough that the Coast Guard can send some good old PBYS out, the Catalinas.

• 2:21:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, lovely, I love a Catalina, nice.

• 2:21:20Speaker 00

  They're not gonna land on the ocean, obviously. But they're sent out to coordinate the search from the air. So they arrive on scene around 2:00 PM and they discover the Fort Mercer stern. So they're the first to see it. And you can see the Fort Mercer stern on the right there.

• 2:21:38Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 2:21:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, there are tons of photographs of these ships, if you look them up. I found a lot of these on some Scandinavian guys' website, so.

• 2:21:49Speaker 03

  Oh, don't ask too many questions about that.

• 2:21:50November Kelly?

  Shout out to some Scandinavian guy.

• 2:21:53Speaker 00

  And this is something odd. So Chatham Lifeboat Station has a radar in a watchtower to look out on the water, which is not very common, like anymore, I guess. It must have been left over from World War II. But the radar was down.

• 2:22:08November Kelly?

  And for U-boats and shit.

• 2:22:09Speaker 00

  The radar was down in the morning and they finally got it working. And they turn it on and they see two objects about five miles off the shore. But the Mercer is 32 miles off of the shore. And so the guys in Chatham are like, what the fuck is going on? Who is out in this weather? So they'd say, they radio the PBYS and say, hey, can you go do a swing by? Apparently, they can't see shit. They're like fighting the wind, you know, because this is like the era of mechanical linkage. This isn't like a fucking Airbus fly-by-wire, which I literally could fly.

• 2:22:44Speaker 00

  Thank you, Flecia.

• 2:22:44Justin Roczniak?

  It's a little joystick, you know, it's fine.

• 2:22:46Speaker 00

  I know how to program the computer now. I know how to do the knobs.

• 2:22:50Justin Roczniak?

  I've played Microsoft Life Simulator, I can fly an Airbus.

• 2:22:53Speaker 00

  I have the fly-by-wire A320 with the manual.

• 2:22:58November Kelly?

  More like die-by-wire.

• 2:22:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, right?

• 2:23:00Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right, Boeing, come on now.

• 2:23:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:23:05Speaker 00

  So the PBY gets there like two hours later and they're like, uh, there's a T2 tanker. Uh, the bow is off the Pollock Rip, uh, like off Pollock Rip, not too far from the light ship. And he goes, the paint's, that's not the former, sir. It's a.

• 2:23:21November Kelly?

  Someone has repainted this shit in the storm.

• 2:23:23Speaker 00

  Cause the bow, the bow, they hadn't found the bow yet. So they're like, what the fuck? That's a, and then he swoops down low enough and sees the Pendleton on the bow. It's like, are you fucking kidding me?

• 2:23:37Speaker 00

  There's fucking two of them. What the fuck?

• 2:23:43Speaker 00

  So, so the, the, the, the coasters are like, there's two T2 tankers? That has fallen apart.

• 2:23:52Justin Roczniak?

  How could this have happened?

• 2:23:53Speaker 00

  How could this have happened?

• 2:23:55Justin Roczniak?

  Why didn't we listen to the lady?

• 2:23:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. Why were we sexist pricks? We should have let her at the dinner.

• 2:24:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:24:04Speaker 00

  So, um, the first ship on scene is the short splice. And, uh, ironically, a boat, a ship named after a, a, a splice in the line, uh, doesn't have the equipment. Um, nor really the capability to maneuver safely close to it. So they don't really do anything. And they decide, we're just gonna, if anyone decides to like jump off, we'll, we'll come in and pick them up. But we're just gonna like, keep an eye on things. But yeah.

• 2:24:29November Kelly?

  Just vibing.

• 2:24:30Speaker 00

  There's two, there's two, there, there are now, you know, Mr. President, second, uh, a second tanker has, uh, hit the Pollock Rip lighthouse. I don't know.

• 2:24:39Justin Roczniak?

  We don't have four tankers.

• 2:24:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, we have four tankers. Yeah. Next slide, please. All right. And in case you were like, where's my fucking geographic reference? Here we go. There's another one. This one, I forget what newspaper this one was from. But I love a nice, a nice hand drawn diagram in a newspaper.

• 2:24:52November Kelly?

  That is very nice. It is nice.

• 2:24:54Speaker 00

  Nice hand lettering here and everything like that.

• 2:24:55November Kelly?

  It's gorgeous.

• 2:24:56Speaker 00

  Different, the different, um, italicizing for, for like islands and then, you know, the font for bodies of water. Love it. Look on the right hand side where the Pollock Rip lighthouse is. That, that's where the bow of the Pendleton is, uh, to the northwest. All right. So, um, while we've realized that there's a fucking bow of the Pendleton, a woman living in Chatham, like hears the slurs finally.

• 2:25:24Speaker 00

  And she hears.

• 2:25:25Justin Roczniak?

  Wap, wap, dago, wap.

• 2:25:29Speaker 00

  And she hears seven of them. And she gets up and looks out the window and she's like, holy shit, there's a boat there. There's like half of, half a ship.

• 2:25:38Speaker 00

  Um, and she calls.

• 2:25:39Justin Roczniak?

  Polack, wap, wap.

• 2:25:42Speaker 00

  I just imagine the guy standing there like going in circles, like standing in place, spinning. So if there's a Doppler effect going on and that's, that's how they can tell how far away it is.

• 2:25:53Justin Roczniak?

  Polack.

• 2:26:00Speaker 00

  Irish. All right, how about that?

• 2:26:02November Kelly?

  Yeah, see, this is, this is still highly classified outside of the War Thunder forums, but this is still how all military radar works. In those kind of the F-35, there's like three of these going at any one time.

• 2:26:15Justin Roczniak?

  There's much worse than that in there. We're only saying the ones you can say in polite society.

• 2:26:20Speaker 00

  Uh, the anti Italian ones, yeah, and Polish. The Irish, the Irish have become president, so we can't really say that one.

• 2:26:29November Kelly?

  Not yet, it's 1952.

• 2:26:31Speaker 00

  Oh, no, I guess Biden.

• 2:26:32Justin Roczniak?

  Papist.

• 2:26:33Speaker 00

  I guess, I guess Barack Obama is, uh, does count. JFK, dude, come on. Nah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with Obama.

• 2:26:42Justin Roczniak?

  Papist.

• 2:26:46Speaker 00

  Barack Ob-, Barack Obama.

• 2:26:49Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, Barack Obama.

• 2:26:50Speaker 00

  The Barack, the Barack Obama, uh, Toll Plaza. Um, that's a real thing. Sakes, keep it moving. So, okay, so, so they confirm, they actually send, they, all right, they send a duck boat on land. What? To, to go drive and take a look and see, is there a boat, is there a ship there? And they go, and they, and the orders are, well, if you could take it out and there, no, we're not taking it out. So they drive it, the duck boat back. Um, and they, they get, they get the, the, uh, CG 36500 ready to go.

• 2:27:23Justin Roczniak?

  For, for those of you who are not aware, the, um, the duck boat is a amphibious vehicle. Um, which, uh, you know, is used for military, military purposes. It's like a big bus.

• 2:27:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it has a habit of killing people in the Thames.

• 2:27:36Speaker 00

  Listen to friends of, of, uh, oh, they're friends of this podcast too, uh, friends of the show. Beyond the Breakers, uh, where I was on to talk about the Philadelphia duck boat incident.

• 2:27:46Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, they did murder a lot of people here.

• 2:27:49Speaker 00

  And there's a great episode on the Dave Matthews tour bus dumping, dumping its affluent tank onto a passing duck boat full of people. Alright, anyway, so Chatham's, Chatham gets sands up the lifeboat. Alright, we're gonna get ready to go out. The timeline gets weird here. Alright, so the three, while this is going on, Donald Bang's boat makes their way to the Pendleton's Bow. They find no sign of life, then they're ordered to go to where the Pendleton's in stern. So they make their way to there. Now around sunset, which at this time is about 5:20 PM, the 36, 36500 departs Chatham Harbor. Now, you can see on the chart here, if you go look on a modern chart of Chatham Harbor, it's one of those

• 2:28:33Speaker 00

  charts where it's just blue with no, with no depth indicated. It just says variable. Oh dear.

• 2:28:42Speaker 00

  Chatham, the Chatham bar is one of the most treacherous bodies of water on the, on the east coast. It is infamous. The guys, there's a reason the lifeboat stations there because dumbasses take their boat out and they get swamped. The, you can see it shallows up fairly quickly. The chart here I got from the CG 36500's Facebook page. And, and the, I guess, I guess it's the people who restored it, but the, the chart there is from the 1950s, so it's relatively true to the time period. And, and the, you could see that it's, it's,

• 2:29:24Speaker 00

  it's gotta come out in real shallow water. 10 foot breakers. It's gonna suck. The coxswain of, of the, the CG 36500, big dick Bernie Weber, he kind of, the movie shows him as like being like this like resolute brave guy. And he apparently was like, please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back.

• 2:29:46November Kelly?

  I hope that they, if they ever do a biopic of me, that's how they do me as well. It's just like any, the experience in which I was mostly crying and shitting on myself, they're like, forward, onwards.

• 2:29:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, right. Doing the charge of the light brigade in the background. Yeah, I got you.

• 2:30:02Justin Roczniak?

  This was the bravest podcaster who ever lived.

• 2:30:04November Kelly?

  Yeah, it's much like we're having to cut out all of me complaining about the running time of this.

• 2:30:10Speaker 00

  Um, yeah. No, I was brave the whole time. Please, Sabaton, write a cool song about me.

• 2:30:17Speaker 00

  So.

• 2:30:17November Kelly?

  Yeah, it's called like Strength of Determination. It's 11 minutes long.

• 2:30:21Speaker 00

  With bad Latin. Novembris dominatis.

• 2:30:28Speaker 00

  You know, in oceanum perditum.

• 2:30:39Speaker 00

  I was trying to para Swedish paramental riff.

• 2:30:43November Kelly?

  Good enough.

• 2:30:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, so this, this, this begins probably one of the coolest parts of Coast Guard lore. The movie, uh, The Finest Hour is focused on this. You can, again, read the book. The book does a good job of, of kind of taking the timeline. It's, it, it, it splits it, it splits it up like Tolkien does once, once the, once the fellowship breaks. Um, so you have part of the book focuses on Bernie Weber. He could be like the sort of Frodo character. Um, one of them focuses on, uh, what's the guy's name? Dick, Dick, Dick Buck? Uh, um.

• 2:31:17November Kelly?

  Bangs, Donald Bangs.

• 2:31:18Speaker 00

  Dick Bangs, Dick Bangs. Donald Bangs, Donald Bangs.

• 2:31:21November Kelly?

  That was right, yeah.

• 2:31:22Speaker 00

  He could be, he could be like, um, you know, Aragorn and company, uh, running to, to Rohan. Anyway, um, so, so it takes it like chronological order, but focusing on each group, uh, does it really well. Uh, next slide, please. All right. Here's Big Dick Bernie Weber. That's what he looks like. We like a powerful man with a near unibrow. He is not.

• 2:31:44November Kelly?

  Scared, scared of everything except tweezers. Wait, fuck, scared of nothing except tweezers.

• 2:31:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:31:51November Kelly?

  Scared of everything except tweezers.

• 2:31:54Speaker 03

  What a life.

• 2:31:56Justin Roczniak?

  I had to get my, I had to get my unibrow waxed before a wedding once.

• 2:32:01Speaker 00

  Oh, bro.

• 2:32:04November Kelly?

  Your pair of like self-soothing tweezers with you all the time.

• 2:32:09Justin Roczniak?

  No, no.

• 2:32:09Speaker 00

  I got my pair of weighted tweezers for when I'm, I'm getting, I'm getting overwhelmed or, uh, I'm getting, I'm getting overstimulated by all the other scary things around me.

• 2:32:22November Kelly?

  Sometimes that's just how it is on this bitch of a night.

• 2:32:24Speaker 00

  I gotta tell you, I've worked in those classes where they go, oh man, you're scared of everything. I really feel bad for you. Um, not Chris Pine, not fuckboy Chris Pine. Way too, way too, way too hot.

• 2:32:35Speaker 03

  He's got those Liv Tyler lips.

• 2:32:36Speaker 00

  All right. Hey Liv Tyler, what's up? Uh, uh.

• 2:32:39Liam McAnderson?

  It's not gonna work, Tom. And you're married.

• 2:32:43Speaker 00

  I get it. I get all pants for Liv Tyler. Probably.

• 2:32:45Liam McAnderson?

  Good for you.

• 2:32:46Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 2:32:47Liam McAnderson?

  Keep it moving. We're at over three goddamn hours. We still have safety third. I'm getting hateful messages from my wife.

• 2:32:54Speaker 00

  We're getting there. We're getting there. You got two more nights of this, Liam. Uh, so, uh, around, so it's, it's nighttime. Uh, and they make their way across Chatham Bar around 6pm. Please note, this is what true Sigma on his grindset looks like. Uh, so crossing the bar in this point, I mean, so there's a reason that crossing the bar is a euphemism for dying in nautical parlance. Uh, this is a treacherous bar he's gotta cross. What do you have to do to cross the, cross the bar? It's.

• 2:33:30Justin Roczniak?

  Lot of studying, um.

• 2:33:38Speaker 00

  You've gotta, you've gotta, um, basically gun it and sing Rock of Ages.

• 2:33:47November Kelly?

  I was thinking, put on the 11 minute long Sabaton song.

• 2:33:50Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:33:50Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, about Nova, yes.

• 2:33:51Speaker 00

  I, um, I'm.

• 2:33:53Justin Roczniak?

  The rude sandstorm.

• 2:33:56Speaker 00

  Uh, one time I was, I was, uh, my wife heard me listening to Sabaton out loud and she's like, turn that off. This is music that Dyes listens to. Uh, you know.

• 2:34:08Speaker 00

  It's making me anxious.

• 2:34:09November Kelly?

  Sabaton song, The Black Banner is a fun song.

• 2:34:15Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, fucking Sabaton, do a song, do a song about Pittsburgh granddad. Um.

• 2:34:22Speaker 00

  Uh, shit. All right. All right. We're almost there. We're getting close.

• 2:34:25November Kelly?

  It's called honor of combat.

• 2:34:29Speaker 00

  You know, he says Iran instead of iron. Um, uh, so they're gunning it, uh, to get over the bar and it's requires like timing it. This is where, what are the, to see in the movie, the movie doesn't kind of, it flows weird. It doesn't really show like the effort and I think in a really realistic way, it doesn't show like the wave sequence. There's too much time between the waves. A rogue wave breaks the fucking window and shatters the glass all over their fucking faces and it blows the compass out.

• 2:34:58November Kelly?

  No, no toughened glass get shredded.

• 2:35:01Speaker 00

  So they have no navigation. You're not going to whip out a fucking chart and sextant on your boat in, you know, 10, 15 foot breakers.

• 2:35:11Justin Roczniak?

  Well, that's coward's talk.

• 2:35:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:35:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. You have fucking Joshua Slocum just like shaking his head sadly from heaven like, back in my day, you know, I, we used to have the row, the boats out by hand. Um, which is true. So they nearly capsize at one point. They say there's a 45 degree angle. Um, it's a self writing boat, but I'm not sure how good the self writing is in the breakers. So they, so Bernie's like, fuck it, send it. Uh, but it doesn't move. The engine dies. The boat flipped, uh, uh, not flipped. The boat capsized so hard that the engine was starved of fuel.

• 2:35:52Speaker 00

  So they send the engineer down there to, as this boat is like bobbing in the breakers to go fuck, he's going to prime the goddamn engine. And he's, he's, he's getting slammed into the fucking thing. It's hot. Um, he eventually gets the motor running. And they, they again, send it fucking full throttle. They make it across the bar. They're covered in blood. Like that shit fucking sucks. Next slide, please. All right. So Bangs returns to the Pendleton's bow while this is going on. After a cutter, uh, one of the cutters that responds reports signs of life on board. One of the survivor jumps, uh, but it is unable to be rescued. They lose him in the dark. So, yeah.

• 2:36:32Speaker 00

  Um, that's the only person who was ever seen alive from the Pendleton and he wasn't seen alive for long.

• 2:36:38November Kelly?

  Double oof.

• 2:36:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:36:39November Kelly?

  Man fucks up the like extreme difficulty parkour jump.

• 2:36:43Speaker 00

  And this is the, this is, this is a photo taken after, after she, she, uh, ran aground and, and, and came to a stop. Um.

• 2:36:49Justin Roczniak?

  You probably could have lived by not jumping.

• 2:36:52Speaker 00

  It's possible. Yeah.

• 2:36:54Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:36:55Speaker 00

  Uh, but when they finally get on board, everyone's dead.

• 2:36:58Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm.

• 2:36:59Speaker 00

  Uh, hypothermia. They had no.

• 2:37:01Justin Roczniak?

  No heat. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

• 2:37:03Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah. Next slide.

• 2:37:07November Kelly?

  That's, that's horrifying.

• 2:37:08Speaker 00

  It is horrifying. Um, this is the Pendleton stern. The CG, CG thirty six five hundred is able to meet up with it. Now, this is on its side. It was not on its side where they come to rescue. It's bobbing in the ocean. Uh, Bernie is able to time his vessel. And do you see that little ladder, that Jacob's ladder hanging down the side?

• 2:37:28November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

• 2:37:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. That's how they got off the, the ship.

• 2:37:31November Kelly?

  Oof.

• 2:37:32Speaker 00

  Into the thirty six foot motor lifeboat. Um, everyone except one guy is able to make it off the stern. It's kinda sad. There's a, he's the ship's cook. Um, shouts out to Tiny, a fat guy, uh, kind of given, you know, the error of giving the, the ironic nickname. Um, so RIP, uh, by all accounts, like a, like a friendly, funny guy. Um, he was, he was not able to make it, uh, down the ladder. He fell off the ladder.

• 2:37:59Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, that's not good.

• 2:38:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, and you could see just in this situation, um, imagine trying to make that jump down the side of a boat.

• 2:38:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:38:08Speaker 00

  I've been alongside of two hundred, was it two hundred eighty seven foot boat, uh, ship, um, in a small, in a twenty five foot boat. While in the Delaware Bay. That was intimidating. I can't imagine doing that in fifty, sixty foot seas.

• 2:38:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I, I've been on ladders on the sides of buildings. They're not even moving. And I'm like, this is unpleasant. I, I am, I am not doing well here on this ladder.

• 2:38:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, they, so.

• 2:38:39Speaker 00

  Every, these guys are getting hypothermic. Um, the crew, the crew of the boat, Bernie's crew is getting hypothermic. They don't have the neoprene dry suits, right? They're, they're-

• 2:38:49November Kelly?

  You're wearing like fifteen layers of wool.

• 2:38:52Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly, yeah.

• 2:38:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, World War II leftover shit. And they're getting cold. The, uh, the station says, alright, go to the east wind. Um, and dump off the, uh, the guys there and go, go to the Pendleton's bow and try and get those guys. Bernie says, there's no fucking way in hell I'm doing that. And he goes back to chat him. Uh, he does get almost like discharged for that. Because he, right, he disobeyed a direct order. But he, he was saying, I'm not killing these guys. These guys, we're gonna die. Like, if I die, these guys aren't, they don't know where we are. We don't have any fucking compass, like-

• 2:39:28November Kelly?

  Coast Guard Stalingrad shit.

• 2:39:31Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:39:32Speaker 00

  Uh, alright, next slide.

• 2:39:34November Kelly?

  Sending in more lifeboats.

• 2:39:37Speaker 00

  Um, here's the Fort Mercer. Um, so the, the Fort Mercer is a little more fortunate. Um, the Mercers, uh, you have the bow there and you have the, uh, the stern on the right-hand side. Uh, the Fort Mercer crew is able to be rescued by the east wind and a bunch of other boats. Acting in unison, you can see one of the cutters there, uh, patrolling nearby it. Um, overall, this was a success as a rescue. And I know that it's weird that this is like, got a mostly happy ending. Uh, most of, most of the disasters you guys have are pretty fucking depressing.

• 2:40:13Speaker 00

  And, uh, like the Al Farah was really sad. Merchant free enterprise, very sad. So this one, it's sad. People died, uh, because of shitty engineering. But, uh, the, the, the Coast Guard fucking nailed this, despite all, all odds being against them, right? No one in the Pendleton bow was found alive. Uh, so, uh, yeah, that fucking sucks.

• 2:40:34November Kelly?

  Unsurvivable.

• 2:40:35Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:40:36Speaker 00

  Um, alright, good, next slide. So, this is the CG thirty-six five hundred, uh, now restored. Um, they actually, there's some cute pictures out there. Uh, they gave Bernie the helm and let him drive it around again.

• 2:40:50November Kelly?

  Oh.

• 2:40:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, so, after the rescue, uh, Weber's a fucking hero. Even though he almost gets like discharged for that, the Coast Guard very quickly realizes this guy's a fucking, he's badass, right? And he exemplifies the values. And I'm sure there's a little bit of good PR for the Coast Guard in there too, right? They're gonna give him the gold lifesaving medal, which is basically like the highest medal you can get for a rescue. And the rest of the crew is silver. And he's like, fuck that. Give them all fucking gold. You don't, you don't either. I, I will refuse the medal unless you give everyone the gold.

• 2:41:22November Kelly?

  Hell, yeah.

• 2:41:23Speaker 00

  So, so he stood up, he stood up for his crew. Great example of crew research man, resource management here. Yeah, it's sort of 1952, it's that.

• 2:41:32November Kelly?

  CRM, Crew Resource Management or Crew Received Medal?

• 2:41:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. So, you know, it, it's, it's sort of that, that old school naval, like, the, the US Navy, well, the Coast Guard's not part of, part of the Navy, but the, the sea services of the United States, um, being, have been the closest thing to like an aristocracy in a way in the American military, very, very nepotistic, very, you know, about hierarchy.

• 2:42:03November Kelly?

  The senior service.

• 2:42:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, the senior service. Um, you know, he, he kind of stood up for that. Um, they, they wanted to make him an officer. He's like, nah, I'm good. I'm just gonna be a, I'm gonna be a, you know, an NCO.

• 2:42:15November Kelly?

  Yeah. Let me be a normal guy.

• 2:42:17Speaker 00

  Real, real working.

• 2:42:17November Kelly?

  I don't want to join your weird club.

• 2:42:19Speaker 00

  Um, the, the movie has a whole love plot where like, he's like trying, talking to a girl over the phone and stuff like that. And he marries the girl, he has a happy, nice life. They do send him on a weird goodwill tour, uh, where at later on, they send him to Vietnam and have him drive a river patrol boat and like have him like shoot, shoot, like, so he leaves the Coast Guard, he's like, ah, I did this to save lives. I'm not, I don't want to drive a fuck, I don't want to be on a groundwater Navy shooting people. Um, very weird. The, this country's bizarre. Um, the fate of the, of the rest of the, the sort of, um, the boats. So, the Fort Mercer, all right, let's go to the Pendleton first.

• 2:43:00Speaker 00

  The Pendleton, um, the, the stern still lies off Montmorey Island, right? It was never recovered. Uh, the Pendleton bow though, was towed to Philly and scrapped in the Delaware River. So, yeah.

• 2:43:12November Kelly?

  Go birds. May have made it that far.

• 2:43:14Speaker 00

  Go birds. We, we killed it and ate it. So, the, the Fort Mercer though, uh...

• 2:43:21Speaker 00

  Becomes two boats. The stern, the stern was towed and given a new bow.

• 2:43:26Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:43:27Speaker 00

  The San Jacinto.

• 2:43:29Justin Roczniak?

  It's a great, it's a great Peter Gabriel track.

• 2:43:33Speaker 03

  It is actually, yeah.

• 2:43:34Speaker 00

  The San Jacinto splits in half in 1962.

• 2:43:38Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:43:39Justin Roczniak?

  Do they turn into the two more boats?

• 2:43:43November Kelly?

  Every boat, the flotilla of Theseus.

• 2:43:48Speaker 00

  They rebuild it and they renamed it to the Pasadena.

• 2:43:55November Kelly?

  After a famously indivisible city.

• 2:43:58Speaker 00

  That, she was scrapped in 1983.

• 2:44:00Speaker 03

  1983, bloody hell.

• 2:44:03November Kelly?

  You just know that when they scrapped it, the first thing that happened was it split in half.

• 2:44:08Speaker 00

  I think, and I think she was scrapped in like Bangladesh.

• 2:44:12Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, Atu, Atu Alang, well, Alang is India.

• 2:44:17November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:44:17Speaker 00

  Broken up there.

• 2:44:20Speaker 00

  The, I guess they used a shitty fucking sulfur fart steel for something else.

• 2:44:27Justin Roczniak?

  Break up in a lang.

• 2:44:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, it'd be kind of interesting to see the track that hopefully wasn't put into like a beam for a building.

• 2:44:34Speaker 03

  Oh, that's a, that's 100% became a beam in a building.

• 2:44:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, in Bangladesh, yeah.

• 2:44:39Justin Roczniak?

  Turned into razor blades.

• 2:44:42Speaker 00

  And now it's in the, so you can have your own piece of the Fort Mercer in, because you're one of those weird safety razor guys.

• 2:44:50Justin Roczniak?

  Running salvage. You know, you live in an old fashioned house that has like the razor blade slot in the back of the medicine cabinet.

• 2:44:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, I used to be one of those guys.

• 2:45:01Speaker 00

  So, um, yeah, uh, next slide.

• 2:45:10Speaker 00

  No, I put this in here because I figured you would appreciate the breakdown here.

• 2:45:13November Kelly?

  Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah.

• 2:45:16Speaker 00

  So, and, and, and looking at the name tag, I don't, I, I think, is that, is that, um, Commander Yiff? I don't know.

• 2:45:23November Kelly?

  Um, I, it, it could be, it could be almost anything. I'm enjoying this sort of like Maryland state flag, uh, rank chevrons.

• 2:45:32Speaker 00

  While also Commander with, with basketballs on the, on the collar.

• 2:45:37November Kelly?

  Uh huh.

• 2:45:39November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:45:42November Kelly?

  That's, uh, you know, that's a chief petty officer commander of the basketball division, you know?

• 2:45:47Speaker 00

  Yes. I figured that, I figured the, the, uh, the, uh, the.

• 2:45:50November Kelly?

  Big fan, big, big fan. Thank you for that.

• 2:45:52Speaker 00

  I figured the hogs would also like this too.

• 2:45:53Liam McAnderson?

  Tom, please.

• 2:45:54Speaker 00

  What did we learn, Liam?

• 2:45:54Liam McAnderson?

  Tom, please.

• 2:45:55Justin Roczniak?

  What did we learn?

• 2:45:56Liam McAnderson?

  I don't know. A crew resource management or whatever the equivalent for boats is, is important.

• 2:46:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:46:01Speaker 00

  They just call it resource, uh, resource management on the coast guard for some reason. Oh, risk management, my bad. Just RM. It used to be called TCT. Uh, did we learn anything about boats?

• 2:46:11Liam McAnderson?

  No.

• 2:46:12Justin Roczniak?

  I believe what we learned is that the progress of science is good because now we don't have boats that randomly split in half because we didn't know you were supposed to make very hard steel. You were supposed to make, uh, more ductile and flexible steel.

• 2:46:29November Kelly?

  Listen to women. That's all we've learned.

• 2:46:31Justin Roczniak?

  Listen to women. That's, that's what we really learned today. Listen to women.

• 2:46:37Speaker 00

  Unironically, actually, uh, um, manganese is important.

• 2:46:41November Kelly?

  You guys were saying it ironically? Interesting.

• 2:46:44Liam McAnderson?

  We had to go, Tom.

• 2:46:45Speaker 00

  Mang- manganese is important?

• 2:46:47November Kelly?

  Why, well, in that case, why isn't it wu- manganese?

• 2:46:51Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, good point. Good point.

• 2:46:53Speaker 00

  Someone, someone, someone in the, in the, uh, metallurgy engineering class, drop that one. Drop, drop that one for the one woman in the class.

• 2:47:03Justin Roczniak?

  The one woman in class who is going to revolutionize the field, apparently.

• 2:47:07Speaker 00

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 2:47:10Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, so that's the story of Coast Guard's Greatest Rescue. It's pretty cool.

• 2:47:14Speaker 03

  It's beautiful.

• 2:47:15Speaker 00

  Watch the movie, read the book. Read the book. Read the book. The book's good.

• 2:47:17Speaker 03

  Read the book.

• 2:47:18Speaker 00

  Um, there's some good interviews out there with Bernie Weber. Uh, he's pretty candid about, I just, you know, fuck, I gotta do this. Shit.

• 2:47:27November Kelly?

  I, I, that's, that's real heroism is when you're just like, yeah, I know, like, fuck.

• 2:47:31Speaker 00

  I.

• 2:47:32November Kelly?

  And then you do the thing, it turns out.

• 2:47:33Speaker 00

  If I don't do this, people are gonna die.

• 2:47:35Speaker 03

  They're gonna die.

• 2:47:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm gonna die.

• 2:47:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm probably also gonna die.

• 2:47:38Speaker 00

  Um, might as well, might as well do it the way they're gonna make a Sabaton song out, out of it.

• 2:47:45Justin Roczniak?

  Well.

• 2:47:47Justin Roczniak?

  We have a segment on this podcast called Safety Third.

• 2:47:54Justin Roczniak?

  Dear November, Liam, Justin, and Gareth.

• 2:47:58Speaker 03

  Ah, almost.

• 2:47:59Speaker 00

  Almost. No guests?

• 2:48:00Justin Roczniak?

  Please don't.

• 2:48:03Justin Roczniak?

  Please don't use my real name, but my pronouns are they and them.

• 2:48:06Speaker 00

  What does it say on, what does it say on there? Uh, Fr- Frankfurt Jones? Oh shit, don't use the real name?

• 2:48:13Liam McAnderson?

  No, don't use the real name.

• 2:48:15Justin Roczniak?

  Love your podcast and was delighted to hear you talk about HF in the most recent episode. As I have been meaning to write in for a while.

• 2:48:25November Kelly?

  Oh, no.

• 2:48:26Justin Roczniak?

  I thought you might like to hear some horror stories of mine, having worked with HF for a decade.

• 2:48:33November Kelly?

  No, I might not.

• 2:48:35Speaker 00

  Point of order, we're not talking about high frequency radio.

• 2:48:38November Kelly?

  No, we're not. We're talking about hydrogen. No, hydrofluoric acid. Hydrofluoric acid.

• 2:48:42Speaker 00

  That's not good. HF radio is cool.

• 2:48:44Liam McAnderson?

  No, it's bad.

• 2:48:45November Kelly?

  Yeah, HF as an acid is not cool. It's the kind of thing that like melts your bones.

• 2:48:49Speaker 00

  Ooh, yeah, yeah. Ooh, fuck that.

• 2:48:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, turns into goop.

• 2:48:52Speaker 00

  I like bones.

• 2:48:52Justin Roczniak?

  I'm a paleoecologist.

• 2:48:56Speaker 00

  Sick.

• 2:48:56November Kelly?

  Sick. Worth all the years of school to be able to say a sentence like that, I bet.

• 2:49:01Justin Roczniak?

  So I'm someone who uses pollen from the sediment record to understand past vegetation and climate change.

• 2:49:10November Kelly?

  Awesome.

• 2:49:11Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 2:49:11Justin Roczniak?

  One of we, one of the ways we process sediment to get the pollen out is using HF.

• 2:49:18Speaker 03

  Nope, nope.

• 2:49:19November Kelly?

  Yeah, just dunk it in the worst chemical in the world. Well, one of them.

• 2:49:23Justin Roczniak?

  Pollen doesn't care about HF. It's pretty indestructible. But HF does a good job of dissolving sand in our sand.

• 2:49:32Speaker 03

  Oh, so you dissolve everything around the pollen?

• 2:49:34Speaker 00

  Pollen doesn't have bones, so I guess.

• 2:49:37Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 2:49:38Speaker 00

  Uh, second, second, second most cool, uh, in a related field to this is paleo tempestology. That's another cool one.

• 2:49:45Speaker 03

  Ooh. Let me guess, weather from the old days.

• 2:49:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, oh, historical horrible weather, I would imagine.

• 2:49:54Justin Roczniak?

  Unfortunately, this means using HF in a university context where health and safety has often not been updated since the 1970s.

• 2:50:02November Kelly?

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's really funny for the, for a lot of stuff. It's like, well, where do I go to learn to use this safely? Oh, the most dangerous place you can use it.

• 2:50:09Speaker 00

  Right.

• 2:50:10Justin Roczniak?

  A fun fact is, the last safety training I had, the trainer said, "Yeah, people love to say it dissolves your bones." And at this point, I thought, "Oh no, I've been sold an urban myth." But then he continued, "And it absolutely will, but you'll be long dead of heart failure before that happens."

• 2:50:28Speaker 00

  Oh, good.

• 2:50:31Justin Roczniak?

  If you get an area of skin the size of your palm exposed to HF, you're basically a dead man walking as it will spread and cause a chain reaction with the calcium ions in your body, destroying your nervous system.

• 2:50:45Speaker 00

  No, not my ions.

• 2:50:47November Kelly?

  New, new fear unlocked. It's that and the deer. Maybe we can turn them against each other, you know, just fire HF. Firing HF at some deer.

• 2:50:57Justin Roczniak?

  Just a HF, like giant like water gun.

• 2:51:00Speaker 00

  That's how we're gonna solve chronic wasting disease.

• 2:51:02November Kelly?

  If that doesn't denature a prion, I don't know what the fuck will.

• 2:51:05Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:51:06Speaker 00

  Are there bones in the prions?

• 2:51:10Speaker 03

  De-inventuring deer at scale. I like it.

• 2:51:14November Kelly?

  It was like the deer never existed.

• 2:51:16Justin Roczniak?

  It's like a giant, giant vat of, giant vat of dissolved deer.

• 2:51:22November Kelly?

  The deer, the deer dissolve?

• 2:51:25Speaker 03

  Eric Adams, Eric Adams.

• 2:51:26November Kelly?

  It's like Eric Adams' rat bucket.

• 2:51:28Speaker 00

  Oh, dude, I heard them at Maryland Death Fest. Deer dissolver?

• 2:51:36Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, here's some fun stories of my time using HF in academia across different countries and institutions. Number one, one time, a lab that was using HF was discovered to have glass sediment traps under the sinks. Meaning the HF remnants were slowly eating their way through them.

• 2:52:00Speaker 00

  Ooh, I don't like that sentence.

• 2:52:03Justin Roczniak?

  Number two, HF has to be transported double containered. So bottles inside plastic sealed boxes. A delivery guy once delivered a single bottle of HF to an administrative office with his bare hands. Where it sat naked on the floor of the office with the nice administrative ladies working around it.

• 2:52:35Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, God.

• 2:52:36Justin Roczniak?

  I turned up in full PPE to remove it to some concern.

• 2:52:42November Kelly?

  Yeah, I bet. I mean, that must feel pretty good to enter the situation in your fucking hazmat suit, you know?

• 2:52:48Justin Roczniak?

  I'm sorry, I have to do this.

• 2:52:50Speaker 00

  This is triggering me, like when I worked in a redacted factory and the, uh, a pregnant woman was smoking cigarettes by the hydrogen oxygen tanks. And refused to believe me when I said, you know, that's rocket fuel, right? Yeah.

• 2:53:09November Kelly?

  People are so goddamn dumb, it hurts my head. Anyway, go ahead.

• 2:53:13Justin Roczniak?

  Number three, the time we lost nine liters of HF. What?

• 2:53:23November Kelly?

  Enough to, enough to sort of like, you know, um...

• 2:53:25Speaker 00

  How many deer can you dip in that?

• 2:53:28November Kelly?

  Filling a hot tub with HF.

• 2:53:30Speaker 00

  It's like how you buy a chest freezer in Pennsylvania. It's like how many deer you can fit in there?

• 2:53:37Liam McAnderson?

  We are the dumbest state and we're gonna decide the election by the time this comes out.

• 2:53:40November Kelly?

  How many deer can you dissolve in this? I mean ultimately infinity.

• 2:53:45Justin Roczniak?

  It was eventually located in a chemical store that was unventilated in a high shelf. HF should always be stored on the lowest shelf. In a metal cabinet by a window that got baked by the midday sun. It was not double contained and it was stored with a load of other chemicals.

• 2:54:06November Kelly?

  Oh good.

• 2:54:08Justin Roczniak?

  The head of chemical safety for the university and I, who was a postdoc on about 10,000 pounds a year salary.

• 2:54:19Justin Roczniak?

  Were the only ones present trained to handle it. So we went in wearing our PPE. By the way, for those of you who are not familiar with that's personal protective equipment. The last barrier in a safety situation like this. Ideally, you do other things before you have to don the PPE. We're wearing the PPE and ventilators to remove it from the cabinet. I was so convinced that the bottles might have corroded to the point of failure that I told all the technicians waiting outside who had never heard nor were aware of the dangers of HF.

• 2:54:56November Kelly?

  Don't listen to the podcast, I guess. Fuck them.

• 2:54:58Justin Roczniak?

  To just run if anything happened and call the fire service and we would be as good as dead.

• 2:55:06November Kelly?

  Jesus. I think, I think the PPE at this point has to include like a pistol so you can just dome yourself off, you know?

• 2:55:12Speaker 00

  My, my.

• 2:55:14Liam McAnderson?

  Ross, there's something that's gonna kill me.

• 2:55:15Speaker 00

  I'm so glad that my OCD is specific, one of the, the, the subtypes of it is I'm afraid of chemicals. I, I, I'm not going in the chemical room without knowing every chemical and having the material safety data sheet. Fuck this.

• 2:55:33Justin Roczniak?

  What's the MSDS for hydrogen fluoride? It's like-

• 2:55:36Speaker 00

  It's a pirate flag.

• 2:55:37November Kelly?

  Long, either long or very short. It's a tombstone. The business card.

• 2:55:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:55:44Justin Roczniak?

  When we lifted the bottles up, the metal underneath had visibly started degrading. See the photo.

• 2:55:52Speaker 00

  You gotta put the yuk sticker there.

• 2:55:57Justin Roczniak?

  Hold on. Um, yes, I lost, every time I, I, I, I do some, an annotation now that PowerPoint scrolls up on the notes.

• 2:56:07Speaker 00

  When we lifted the bottles-

• 2:56:08Justin Roczniak?

  When we lifted the bottles up, the metal underneath had visibly started degrading. See the photo, which you can show if you like. All the glass bottles in the cabinet had been etched with frosted patterns due to the HF fumes.

• 2:56:20Speaker 00

  Fuck that.

• 2:56:21November Kelly?

  Yeah, that'd kinda cool. I never wanna see that ever again.

• 2:56:25Justin Roczniak?

  Number four.

• 2:56:26November Kelly?

  Look, there's another one.

• 2:56:27Justin Roczniak?

  In one lab I worked in, HF used to be stored in a wooden, unventilated cupboard under some stairs. Much like Harry Potter.

• 2:56:38November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:56:39Justin Roczniak?

  I, and my colleague and I, excuse me, won't stand for grammatical errors in, um, safety third submissions.

• 2:56:48November Kelly?

  Style choice.

• 2:56:49Justin Roczniak?

  My colleague and I essentially forced our boss to purchase a chemical storage cabinet for the lab. A few months later, the building suffered a huge fire, which burnt the cupboard. But the storage cabinet in the lab was safe. Had that cupboard still had large quantities of HF and other chemicals in it? I honestly think there could have been emergency service lives lost.

• 2:57:17November Kelly?

  Yeah, no kidding.

• 2:57:18Speaker 00

  Bloody hell.

• 2:57:19Justin Roczniak?

  In summary, I now try to use other techniques for processing pollen samples, but there's always the possibility-

• 2:57:25November Kelly?

  You could've done that all along?

• 2:57:27Speaker 00

  Wait, there's another way? I don't have to use the death acid?

• 2:57:32Justin Roczniak?

  But there's always the possibility that HF might be needed.

• 2:57:36November Kelly?

  There's two ways of doing this, right? We can use, uh, we can use HF or ordinary dish soap, but it takes like five minutes longer, so-

• 2:57:44Speaker 00

  We could distill water, yeah. Just a little, spray some distill water on that, that's good.

• 2:57:47Justin Roczniak?

  Time is money, time is money.

• 2:57:52Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, and we'd neutralize it with slaked lime, so.

• 2:57:56Speaker 00

  Oh, for fuck's sake.

• 2:57:57Justin Roczniak?

  Calcium hydroxide. You have to be careful what you use, as some cause problematic gases to be giving off.

• 2:58:05Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 2:58:06Liam McAnderson?

  Well, that's what happens when I eat a Chinese.

• 2:58:09November Kelly?

  Join, join the chemistry department and die a death unheard of since 1918.

• 2:58:15Justin Roczniak?

  This is not the chemistry department. This is the paleoecologist department.

• 2:58:21November Kelly?

  Join the paleoecology department and experience a sort of paleo-mortuary situation.

• 2:58:28Justin Roczniak?

  Thanks for making a great podcast, best from a paleoecologist wondering how the fuck they are still alive.

• 2:58:36November Kelly?

  Yeah, thanks for saving all those firefighters' lives.

• 2:58:42Speaker 00

  That, that's fucking.

• 2:58:44Justin Roczniak?

  That was safety third.

• 2:58:46Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ.

• 2:58:50Speaker 00

  Oh, I know what that is.

• 2:58:51Justin Roczniak?

  Our next episode will be on Chernobyl. Does anyone have any commercials before we go?

• 2:58:57Speaker 00

  Hope we got them the first time.

• 2:58:58November Kelly?

  Yeah, probably should have put them up front if you want to be able to hear them.

• 2:59:01Justin Roczniak?

  About to say, I was about to say, um, we still do have the thing at the, uh, the free library, which I'll put the thing on the thing. Yeah, we gotta do that. Well, but this is, we're delirious, um.

• 2:59:13Speaker 00

  Go, yeah, and this, and we gotta just say fuck it and export the locals to Devon right away.

• 2:59:19Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly.

• 2:59:20Speaker 00

  I go, go listen to them, 10,000 losses.

• 2:59:23Justin Roczniak?

  10,000 losses, yes.

• 2:59:25Speaker 00

  It's a lot shorter.