Bonus Episode 58 PREVIEW: The Circus Train

Full *three hour forty-eight minute* video on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/wtyppod/posts/circus-train-173217011

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Justin Roczniak?

  We got some incidents with elephants. We'll talk about two elephants, actually, starting with Jumbo.

• 0:09November Kelly?

  I mean, this right here is the fucking hardest image I've ever seen in my life.

• 0:16November Kelly?

  Airbrushed onto the side of a van.

• 0:22November Kelly?

  I want, I want like a full back tattoo of this.

• 0:29Liam McAnderson?

  I should clarify here something. We are not talking about Lyndon Baines Johnson's penis.

• 0:37November Kelly?

  Okay, well, I was confused because of the resemblance. Yeah.

• 0:41Liam McAnderson?

  Right, of course. Entire elephant on a desk.

• 0:46November Kelly?

  Wire fence.

• 0:49Justin Roczniak?

  This is an elephant. This elephant, like, I feel bad for this elephant. This elephant had a, he sort of received the ancient Chinese curse, you know? May you have an interesting life, right?

• 1:01November Kelly?

  No.

• 1:03Justin Roczniak?

  So Jumbo was captured by poachers in 1860, named Jumbo after, has anyone seen that, that Kyle Gordon song, Mr. Jumbo, right? Jumbo is Swahili for hello. And the backing vocals are in Zulu, which is really funny. That's a subtle thing.

• 1:26Justin Roczniak?

  But, uh, yeah, no, Jumbo is a corruption of Jumbo, which just means hello.

• 1:32November Kelly?

  So they kidnap you, they call you Mr. Hello, and they get the name wrong as well.

• 1:37Justin Roczniak?

  They, they send you to Trieste in Italy, right? Sold into a German man's menagerie, right? Who then further sent, yeah, no.

• 1:47November Kelly?

  For anyone.

• 1:50Justin Roczniak?

  I would not like to be in a German man's menagerie.

• 1:53Liam McAnderson?

  No, that's gonna be kinks I've never even considered could be real before.

• 2:00Justin Roczniak?

  Transported to the, uh, the Yarden de Pla in, in Paris, right? A big zoo in Paris. I don't know how you.

• 2:10Justin Roczniak?

  I don't know how you say that shit. I fucking kill me.

• 2:19Justin Roczniak?

  I don't, how do you say that shit?

• 2:21November Kelly?

  You've been to France.

• 2:23Justin Roczniak?

  No, I, I only briefly.

• 2:26Liam McAnderson?

  No, I've been to France.

• 2:28Justin Roczniak?

  Is it the Jarden?

• 2:30Liam McAnderson?

  Jardine.

• 2:31Justin Roczniak?

  Jardine, excuse me. Okay.

• 2:34November Kelly?

  It still isn't. Okay.

• 2:38November Kelly?

  I surrender. I surrender.

• 2:41Liam McAnderson?

  Come on, no, you know better than us. Let's hear it.

• 2:43Justin Roczniak?

  None of the fucking letters in French mean anything.

• 2:46Liam McAnderson?

  I know they don't.

• 2:49November Kelly?

  You're telling me that like GCSE French prepared me better than both of, jardin, the jardin des plantes.

• 2:59Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 3:03Justin Roczniak?

  Why are there all those extra letters?

• 3:06Liam McAnderson?

  Cause it's a beautiful flowing language. It's a language of poetry.

• 3:10November Kelly?

  And the thing is, these ungrateful motherfuckers will be in the comments going, you pronounced it wrong as well. I am giving you two euros still, but I'm very upset about it and I want you to know that you got it wrong also.

• 3:26November Kelly?

  And just because of that, I'm not going to see the Shalde goal biopic.

• 3:29Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah, you know what? Just go down, burn down the sword balling about it. I don't know.

• 3:34Justin Roczniak?

  End, end France. Give it to Spain or something. I don't know.

• 3:40November Kelly?

  They tried. They, we tried that in fact, and it sorts of works actually.

• 3:48Justin Roczniak?

  You know, you know what? You know what happens when you read things in Spanish? The letters make the sounds that they make.

• 3:58Liam McAnderson?

  Look, romance languages are bullshit, right? And we all, we're all native English speakers, the best language, of course, the one that makes the most sense grammatically too.

• 4:06November Kelly?

  Of course.

• 4:07Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Oh my God. Every time I look at a romance language, I'm just like, just shoot me dead.

• 4:12Justin Roczniak?

  I.

• 4:12Liam McAnderson?

  Friend of the show, Tom Payne is gonna have my guts for gardeners.

• 4:15Justin Roczniak?

  I, I, I, I do not like the French language. I think they should, I think they should economize on all these letters they don't use. Anyway.

• 4:27Liam McAnderson?

  Famously, I think that goes well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:29November Kelly?

  So they sold this elephant to the yard and there's plants.

• 4:33Justin Roczniak?

  They sold, they go to the, he goes to Paris, right?

• 4:37November Kelly?

  They sold him to the zoo. They sold him to the zoo.

• 4:42Liam McAnderson?

  God, much like Hitler.

• 4:43Justin Roczniak?

  And he got traded to the London Zoo. Yeah.

• 4:47November Kelly?

  Okay.

• 4:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, he got traded to the London Zoo. I, I, I don't know. RBI wasn't so good. Um, in 1865, right? And, uh, he lived there.

• 4:57November Kelly?

  Like a zoo draft. Like he was first round draft.

• 5:05November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 5:06Liam McAnderson?

  This happened last year in the United States.

• 5:11November Kelly?

  Yo, what's up?

• 5:12Liam McAnderson?

  The Pittsburgh Zoo traded a ba ba ba ba, seven year old male gorilla named Frankie to the Zoo of New England uh, in exchange for a 33 year old silverback gorilla named Little Joe.

• 5:25November Kelly?

  Huh. I feel like, I mean, that's two of them. Where are the other 98, you know?

• 5:30Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, they're, they're on the run.

• 5:31Justin Roczniak?

  So.

• 5:32Liam McAnderson?

  You gorillas like Mexico?

• 5:36Justin Roczniak?

  Jumbo.

• 5:37Liam McAnderson?

  No, I don't like Mexico.

• 5:41November Kelly?

  Yeah, gone.

• 5:42Justin Roczniak?

  Jumbo lived at the London Zoo until 1885, right? By all accounts, he hated it there. He broke his tusks, ground down his tusks repeatedly when they regrew. He was also like, they used him for elephant rides. He had like nightly like terrors where he got really aggressive, right?

• 6:03November Kelly?

  I mean, same, but like, poor fucking guy.

• 6:07Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, that sucks. Yeah. I, that's, you know, I, like I said, I, I get genuinely very upset by animal abuse. I don't mind. Uh, you know, when people die by and large, like unless it's like a really horrible circumstance, uh, you know, people are expendable, right? But I, I, I don't know. I've been sympathetic to animals because they're nicer to me.

• 6:25Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. This is before like modern zoo enclosures for like the animals could enjoy a simulation of their environment, right? But he was also like a real big crowd favorite because he was really big, right? Which is why there was a huge amount of outcry when in the midst of, you know, increasing aggression and nightly rages, he was sold to former Bridgeport, Connecticut mayor P T Barnum.

• 6:50November Kelly?

  The no God, no mess connection.

• 6:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:53November Kelly?

  The sash encompasses all.

• 6:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. So Barnum brings him over to the United States, exhibits him in Madison Square Garden one, right? There, there's been three Madison Square Gardens. We're currently on number three.

• 7:08Liam McAnderson?

  Put Penn Station back the way it was, dickheads.

• 7:13Justin Roczniak?

  He included, uh, Jumbo in his railroad circus, brought him all around the country and eventually up to beautiful St. Thomas, Ontario, Canada. Right? See the Elgin County Railway Museum, enjoy fine dining and shopping on Talbot Street. See the very beating heart of Ontario's automotive industry at the Foreman Industries Auto Parts plant. Anyway, yeah. So St. Thomas, Ontario.

• 7:42November Kelly?

  And, and they say we don't do ad reads.

• 7:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 7:46Liam McAnderson?

  Once again, that's buy snooze.com, even though you can't get it.

• 7:51November Kelly?

  You see what the fuck is a Nord VPN a missing out on? You know, like if you make a brand selling like kind of industrial chemical precursors to gamers as part of like a kind of, you know, supplement soda or whatever, this is the kind of enthusiasm we could be bringing to your product, but we won't do it.

• 8:08Liam McAnderson?

  Did you, did you not see the email for Black Forest Supplements? They keep emailing us.

• 8:14Justin Roczniak?

  This podcast is sponsored by DuPont.

• 8:23Liam McAnderson?

  Now known as Exalta with the famous Imron paint, thou burn your lungs out.

• 8:29Liam McAnderson?

  Roz, that was me. Don't worry about it. I'm trying to sign into the Gmail.

• 8:32Justin Roczniak?

  So.

• 8:35November Kelly?

  Nord VPNs trying to like sell us on shit.

• 8:38Justin Roczniak?

  We've gotten multiple emails from Nord VPN. I can't take their business because I use B I A.

• 8:47November Kelly?

  You know, I've, I've seen, I've seen them reach out to fucking everybody, you know? I just, it's, it's, you know, I'm, I'm glad that we don't have to do it, you know? But listen, here's the thing. You cancel your Patreon, you are a contributor to insipidification because if anything ever goes wrong, right? Then, you know, we are gonna panic. We're gonna make bad decisions. We're gonna start making risky endorsements for things we probably shouldn't endorse. If we ever endorse like a supplement, it'll kill you. Like it's gonna be like straight cadmium or something. The first email that we get, we will answer yes, and we'll do it and you'll die. So don't cancel your subscription.

• 9:28Liam McAnderson?

  Please, I, I, I need that money. Um, I, I will say, we also got a, an email from, during the email we got from Morgan and Morgan.

• 9:36November Kelly?

  Yes. No, no, no JP, but two Morgans.

• 9:40Liam McAnderson?

  No, Morgan and Morgan is a personal injury law firm, uh, based in Florida, Nova.

• 9:44Justin Roczniak?

  The largest.

• 9:47Liam McAnderson?

  Partner of the Philadelphia Flyers, which is not helping. Uh, and so they wanted, I, I, if you ever want to be mad.

• 9:55November Kelly?

  Injury lawyer sponsoring a hockey team. Fucking fit.

• 10:00Liam McAnderson?

  Well, they wanted to, uh, they wanted like complete editorial control. They were like, oh, we.

• 10:06November Kelly?

  So we gave that to them, right? Like.

• 10:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 10:09Liam McAnderson?

  They said that in the email, they're like, we need to like review every episode for like editorial content reasons. And I think it was the, one of the first like.

• 10:19Liam McAnderson?

  I was just like, bite me.

• 10:21November Kelly?

  Somebody, somebody trying to get their day job to be listening to us.

• 10:26Justin Roczniak?

  I was about to say, it's like, do you have that kind of time?

• 10:29November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 10:30Liam McAnderson?

  I will say one actual ad, since we're in the, uh, non-ad Patreon, uh, episode, which is very funny to me.

• 10:39Liam McAnderson?

  Shanling Audio.

• 10:41Liam McAnderson?

  They, the Shenley Audio makes digital audio players and good audio equipment. But importantly, their customer service reps listen to us. And I know that because they reached out to me because I was, I was saying on Twitter that I had, like I, I had broken one of my, one of their products or it did like malfunction or something. It was in a warranty period and I wasn't really getting a response and I just like tweeted about it. And a customer service rep DM'd me right away and was like, I'm a big fan of the show. We'll get you something in the mail and, and like as proof, sent a screenshot of us like us hell of a way. I trash future.

• 11:18November Kelly?

  Shit, that's not bad.

• 11:20Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Once again, that's buy snooze.com.

• 11:23Justin Roczniak?

  I would do an ad read for something aggressively local.

• 11:27Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 11:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. Like, well, there's your problem. Sponsored by Loco Pez.

• 11:33November Kelly?

  Yeah. Sponsored by, sponsored by Bromley Chicken, the chicken shop in my hometown. Which if you look it up on Google Street View, you can see that there's, they've got the advertising hoarding above the door. But like a big circular hole. And when you look at why there's the big circular hole, you pan down a little bit and you can see where the sign fell out. It's, it's magical.

• 11:55Justin Roczniak?

  Oh shit, the Philadelphia Chip Shop.

• 11:59November Kelly?

  That's right, yeah.

• 12:00Liam McAnderson?

  Bromley Chicken, our chicken fulfills your purpose?

• 12:04November Kelly?

  Yes, it does. Yes, it does. It's always fulfilled mine.

• 12:07Liam McAnderson?

  It's not real.

• 12:08Justin Roczniak?

  So.

• 12:08November Kelly?

  Maybe you gotta change your purpose. I don't know. No one's telling you.

• 12:11Liam McAnderson?

  Brought to you by Plowing the Stars, where you two can be belligerently drunk and fight a guy from Ireland.

• 12:18Justin Roczniak?

  So it was September 15th, 1885. They were unloading Jumbo.

• 12:23Liam McAnderson?

  Poor Jumbo.

• 12:24Justin Roczniak?

  In the railroad yard in St. Thomas, Ontario, right? It is St. Tom, I'm already losing the earlier notes. They were unloading Jumbo from one of the oversized stock cars across an adjacent track. And another train whacked into him and killed him.

• 12:41Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  Like whacked him good.

• 12:43Justin Roczniak?

  Like whacked him real good. Yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:46November Kelly?

  That's what I say to my.

• 12:48Justin Roczniak?

  Whoops.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, big whoops.

• 12:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. P T. Cause, oh, hold on, go on Scooter.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Whacked him so good that the circus never went back to Canada.

• 12:57November Kelly?

  Damn.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  Like no joke, P T Barnum Circus never went back after that.

• 13:02Justin Roczniak?

  This is an accident that can only be caused by Canadians.

• 13:07Justin Roczniak?

  Now, P T Barnum, you know, master of grift that he is, managed to spin this into, Jumbo was bravely trying to shove one of our younger circus elephants, Tom Thumb, off the tracks when he was tragically taken from us, right? Everyone bought that. The circus was saved by our hero Jumbo. You know, so the circus lives another day.

• 13:31Justin Roczniak?

  Jumbo becomes a tragic hero rather than a tragic accident.

• 13:35November Kelly?

  They lay fanged an elephant?

• 13:37Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 13:39November Kelly?

  Like incredible, absolutely incredible. I'm gonna need to see some art of Jumbo wearing the Leifang hat.

• 13:46Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:46November Kelly?

  On my desk.

• 13:47Liam McAnderson?

  The Medal, the Medal of Honor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  Well, they stuffed him after this.

• 13:51Liam McAnderson?

  I guess it would be the Victoria Cross.

• 13:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, he's at Toffey University.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 13:56Liam McAnderson?

  Oh my.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Well, he was until he burned.

• 14:00November Kelly?

  The, for record artists, you know, I'm, I'm speaking directly to you now, that population within our listenership who have a tablet pen, the Leifang hat to reference to a famously propagandized PLA guy who got killed. It's an Ushanka. It's an Ushanka with the ear flaps down and kind of apart. Show me that on an elephant. Thank you.

• 14:21Liam McAnderson?

  Do Canadians get the Victoria Cross or do they get something else?

• 14:27November Kelly?

  Yeah, they do.

• 14:27Liam McAnderson?

  Can you also, while you're, while you're, while you got your digital pen in hand, get the elephant, Jumbo, R I P big dog with the Victoria Cross on him?

• 14:39November Kelly?

  Just the highest honor of every possible nation and the Leifang hat, please. We'll put it on a T-shirt. We'll pay you for it probably.

• 14:46Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, Jumbo with the Medal of Honor.

• 14:48November Kelly?

  We'll do it in that order. We'll pay you for it probably. And then if we do pay you for it, we'll put it on a T-shirt.

• 14:54Liam McAnderson?

  We also gotta talk about doing the, um, the I dropped the socket shirt at some point.

• 14:58November Kelly?

  But I, I literally have.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  Jesus fucking Christ.

• 15:02November Kelly?

  I had, someone DM'd me really good art for it on Tumblr of all places and Tumblr DMs are a nightmare. And I, I accidentally ghosted them and then they, they replied to it again with, sorry, was the rate I proposed like not favorable enough? And then I accidentally ghosted them again because I'm the worst person on earth. I will, I will, I will answer that person if I do not. And you are that person. I am begging you with tears in my eyes to message me for a third time so that I can send you a video of me ritually disemboweling myself after I pay you the money.

• 15:42Liam McAnderson?

  Can't do that. Can't do that. We need to make rent.

• 15:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  I just want you to know.

• 15:47Liam McAnderson?

  Commit Sepuku in time Nova. We gotta, we gotta make rent buddy.

• 15:50November Kelly?

  God damn it.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  I have been hocking those shirts like I was at the live show and there's none to sell.

• 15:58Liam McAnderson?

  My, my sweet boy.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  They keep coming to me.

• 16:01November Kelly?

  I'm sorry. I'm bad at my job. There are many such cases. Listen, you want to know why Shadow Doge, the trash future board game isn't a thing yet? It's playable. It's designed. The reason why is because I said, put me in charge of the arts. And then for some reason, it's always me and artists. I don't know why. Guess what I fucking did, right? I have a problem and the problem is called attention deficit disorder. And the solution is me committing Sepuku on a Zoom call with every motherfucker with a tablet pen who I have ever robbed. Which is all of them.

• 16:42Justin Roczniak?

  So this is.

• 16:43Liam McAnderson?

  I don't want to speak ill or, or, or put our wagon for the horse or whatever, but this is an all-timer. I'm calling it now.

• 16:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 16:50Liam McAnderson?

  I think so. I think so.

• 16:51Justin Roczniak?

  This is not the dumbest thing that happens to an elephant in a railroad circus.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  I like that. You said that before the next slide.

• 17:00Justin Roczniak?

  We have to talk about Mary the Elephant.

• 17:03Liam McAnderson?

  Oh no.

• 17:04Justin Roczniak?

  So.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  No, what?

• 17:07November Kelly?

  Is it?

• 17:08Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 17:10November Kelly?

  That's too much. There's too much horror, right? I'm gonna need two things. I'm gonna need two things. One, I'm gonna need Dev to do like a big censor box or something. And Dev just does the audio. Justin, I'm gonna need you to go into the video and do a big censor box, right?

• 17:25Justin Roczniak?

  All right.

• 17:26November Kelly?

  Pixelate that shit. The second thing.

• 17:28Justin Roczniak?

  Look at this.

• 17:29November Kelly?

  The second thing is I gotta find a way to contextualize this with humor. So me when I do suspension bondage, thank you. We are now moving on.

• 17:37Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, yeah.

• 17:38November Kelly?

  This is me, me on the Zoom call with an artist.

• 17:41Liam McAnderson?

  Does this say it happened on nine 11?

• 17:43Justin Roczniak?

  September 11th, 1916.

• 17:47Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, nine 11?

• 17:49Justin Roczniak?

  September 11th, 1916 in Kingsport, Tennessee. That's where the big Eastman Kodak land is, right?

• 17:58November Kelly?

  Tennessee nine 11?

• 18:00Liam McAnderson?

  Tennessee nine 11 is an elephant.

• 18:02Justin Roczniak?

  A man, a man named Red Eldridge. He was a hotel janitor and a homeless man.

• 18:13November Kelly?

  He was a hotel janitor with a name given to him by H P Lovecraft.

• 18:18Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. He was hired off the street by the railroad, you know, flat car circus, Sparks World Famous Shows as an elephant keeper.

• 18:30Liam McAnderson?

  Bye.

• 18:31Justin Roczniak?

  The next day he poked at Mary the Elephant with a stick.

• 18:35Liam McAnderson?

  Yep.

• 18:36Justin Roczniak?

  And Mary the Elephant killed him.

• 18:38Liam McAnderson?

  That seems reasonable.

• 18:39November Kelly?

  Good.

• 18:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  That's what you fucking get.

• 18:41Liam McAnderson?

  That's what you fucking get. They went, they went like 10 taught. What do you want her to do, man?

• 18:47Speaker 03

  You poke me, I poke you.

• 18:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, it's like, I don't know my own strengths sometimes.

• 18:52November Kelly?

  Now, here's the thing. Here's the thing.

• 18:54Liam McAnderson?

  The elephant just doing the Sansam option.

• 18:56November Kelly?

  If you had to name a State of the Union so racist that the overflow from that reflexive union would lead them to lynching an elephant, why would it be Tennessee? One side of paper only?

• 19:15Liam McAnderson?

  The same state that did the Snopes monkey trial. Jesus Christ.

• 19:18Justin Roczniak?

  So. Accounts vary.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  When Justin told me about this, I was like, they did it. And then looked it up and just went, oh, fucking course it was Tennessee. And then I looked at the railroad and I went, of course, it's the fucking Clinchfield Railroad.

• 19:35November Kelly?

  If it makes you feel any better, I can, I can give you an example of something dumber, which is, which is British, which is if you're, if you're familiar with, um, Hartlepool, uh, you, why would you be? It's, it's, it's a coastal town in the north. Um, Hartlepool is notorious in Britain because during the Napoleonic wars, which means it wasn't even that like, like it was, it was a bunch of guys who had been at like, you know, were about to go to Waterloo, hanged a shipwrecked monkey on the misapprehension, on the misapprehension that he was a French human being.

• 20:13Justin Roczniak?

  Holy fuck.

• 20:15Liam McAnderson?

  The wrong side won the Napoleonic wars.

• 20:19November Kelly?

  I disagree with you.

• 20:21Justin Roczniak?

  Okay. So France and Britain must be destroyed.

• 20:24November Kelly?

  I, again, I don't disagree with you.

• 20:27Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Yeah. All right. But I, well, again, just what we're gonna have is united Ireland, but it'll be on the wreckage of, uh, of, uh, England.

• 20:36November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 20:36Justin Roczniak?

  Well, yeah, I mean, you know, that's, that's Ireland takes over, uh, all of England. And then how many, you know, how, what is it? It's like 32, 60 something counties. I don't know. How many departments are there in France?

• 20:52Justin Roczniak?

  We said the Irish take over.

• 20:58November Kelly?

  Thirty-six plus six plus number of departments.

• 21:03November Kelly?

  Thirty-six plus six plus a hundred and one equals one. Yeah. Okay.

• 21:07Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. All right. This includes, uh, Guadalupe, Martinique, French Giana, Reunion and Mayotte.

• 21:13Justin Roczniak?

  Saint Pierre and Miquelon.

• 21:15Liam McAnderson?

  No, Saint Pierre and Miquelon is barely, because they're different, I think.

• 21:19Justin Roczniak?

  Oh.

• 21:21Justin Roczniak?

  So accounts of this vary, but we have to face facts. Um, Red Eldridge may not have been qualified to be an elephant trainer.

• 21:30Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:33November Kelly?

  Maybe not.

• 21:34Justin Roczniak?

  Wow.

• 21:36Justin Roczniak?

  Nevertheless, justice must be served. The townspeople rioted. How dare this elephant kill our local homeless man? A local blacksmith took.

• 21:47Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, we wanted to do that.

• 21:48November Kelly?

  The one, the one time you can get these fuckers to care about homeless people.

• 21:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. A local blacksmith took several pot shots at Mary Wundinger and after surrounding towns threatened to boycott Sparks World Famous Shows. If this murderous elephant was included, the decision was made. Mary, the elephant would be hanged.

• 22:13November Kelly?

  Jesus.

• 22:16Liam McAnderson?

  What? Sorry. What? This is 1916, right?

• 22:19Justin Roczniak?

  This is 1916.

• 22:20Liam McAnderson?

  Big ass gun, 1916.

• 22:23November Kelly?

  Literal elephant guns.

• 22:25Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 22:27Liam McAnderson?

  That dickheads.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  No, it's a railroad town. So we're going to use railroad tool.

• 22:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 22:33Liam McAnderson?

  All right. Listen, I, I, again, we should have just, reconstruction should have just been sitting there for 90 years until the atom bomb was ready and then dropping it on Tennessee.

• 22:43November Kelly?

  Yeah, I kind of, I kind of agree.

• 22:45Justin Roczniak?

  This isn't even like the pro slavery part.

• 22:51Justin Roczniak?

  Mary was transported to the big Clinchfield Railroad yard in Irwin, Tennessee, where 2,500 people assembled to witness this grim spectacle. They hanged her with a chain from a railroad crane. The chain snapped on the first attempt and Mary fell and broke her hip.

• 23:09November Kelly?

  Oh. Guilty land purged blood, purged crimes, crimes, blood, purged blood, blood, purge, blood, purge. Purge of bloods, purge of bloods. Yeah.

• 23:23Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 23:23Justin Roczniak?

  The second time.

• 23:24Liam McAnderson?

  Feed him into the wood chipper.

• 23:25Justin Roczniak?

  The second time worked. They got one dead elephant. An autopsy revealed an infected tooth where Eldridge poked her.

• 23:34November Kelly?

  You gotta, you gotta, I, I, I don't know what to do about people, you know, like.

• 23:39Liam McAnderson?

  Nuke Tennessee.

• 23:41Justin Roczniak?

  I often.

• 23:43Liam McAnderson?

  Tennessee, Tennessee, uh, well, Dolly Parton is dead and Morgan Wallen is alive. So nuke Tennessee.

• 23:48November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 23:50Justin Roczniak?

  I, I, I like the people of Appalachia, but this is not one of our finest moments. I know. So, you know, this is, this is really bad. I, this is.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 24:02Liam McAnderson?

  Purged with blood.

• 24:04November Kelly?

  Purged with bloods. Purged with bloods.