Matteo Lane - Nick Smith w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Matteo Lane and Nick Smith join Mark and Sam for a debate over who could survive in the woods, Nick’s “Victorian ghost” physique, and the early days of New York stand-up. Plus, Mark’s awkward Conan encounter, an arm-wrestling showdown, hair transplants, and Nick’s elite status among Chipotle customers. Sponsored by: Quo: Try Quo for free and get 20% off your first six months.https://www.quo.com/WMBD Fabletics: Get 70 to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP, including the Ja’Marr Chase collection. Take the style quiz and select WMBD when prompted. Limited-time offer.https://www.fabletics.com/WMBD Willie’s Remedy: Get 20% off your first order with code WMBD, plus free shipping on orders over $95.https://www.drinkwillies.com Follow Matteo Lane:Tour dates: https://www.matteolanecomedy.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matteolane/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@matteolanecomedy Follow Nick Smith:Tickets and links: https://linktr.ee/nicksmith09Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicksmith09/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NickSmith09 Check out I Never Liked You:Listen: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-never-liked-you/id1718588987Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ineverlikedyoupod/Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/INeverLikedYouPodcast Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com@GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MatteoLane #NickSmith #INeverLikedYou #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Sam Morril?

  Are we on, are we on, are we rolling?

• 0:08Speaker 01

  I only wore a hat.

• 0:10Sam Morril?

  That's true, actually.

• 0:11Speaker 02

  Because you didn't have hair.

• 0:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah, since the procedure.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Nick, you've seen me in a hat.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  I've never...

• 0:16Sam Morril?

  Are we rolling?

• 0:17Speaker 02

  What the hell is happening?

• 0:19Mark Normand?

  Backwards is a first for me, I'll give you that.

• 0:20Sam Morril?

  No, I've seen you, I guess back in the day.

• 0:23Mark Normand?

  There it is. Oh, no, you're right, you're right, I remember that guy.

• 0:25Speaker 02

  That was the day.

• 0:26Sam Morril?

  The flat brim, yeah, you did that.

• 0:28Speaker 02

  That first one's the one that they still use for New York Comedy Club.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  You should probably update that.

• 0:32Sam Morril?

  A lot of cleavage there.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:34Sam Morril?

  You're showing it off.

• 0:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good hair, chest hair.

• 0:37Sam Morril?

  Well, we got Mateo and Nick on the podcast.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Are we starting?

• 0:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're on.

• 0:41Mark Normand?

  Good to have, boy, these thighs are looking real good.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 0:44Mark Normand?

  You don't skip leg day, I appreciate that.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  I do not, twice a week.

• 0:48Sam Morril?

  Twice? I hate doing the legs.

• 0:50Mark Normand?

  Me too.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  You just have to force yourself to do it.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  Just don't do them.

• 0:53Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 0:54Sam Morril?

  You don't, nothing.

• 0:55Speaker 02

  This year, I've decided to enter a health and wellness era.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Okay, not saying things we can't take back.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  I went my whole life without ever working out a day in my life.

• 1:05Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  So, this year, I decided to enter the fitness space, I do Pilates.

• 1:09Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  I'm not good at it, but I go.

• 1:12Mark Normand?

  You got a good frame. Like, if you were, if he was, if you were ripped, you could, what are you, six?

• 1:17Sam Morril?

  If you were ripped, what does that, what does that mean?

• 1:20Speaker 01

  What do you want, Nick, with your arms?

• 1:22Speaker 02

  I feel that I have petite arms, and I like having them.

• 1:27Mark Normand?

  Okay, six-four, great shoulders.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Would you describe my arms as petite?

• 1:31Sam Morril?

  You gotta lift up the sleeve.

• 1:32Mark Normand?

  That's a wet noodle.

• 1:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's fucking crazy.

• 1:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:38Sam Morril?

  That's petite.

• 1:39Mark Normand?

  This is Hollywood.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  And I like it.

• 1:41Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:42Sam Morril?

  That's like olive oil from Popeye. That was crazy.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  The Victorian ghost, that's what I'm going for.

• 1:48Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:49Sam Morril?

  That's your, that's your look.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  Victorian ghost, exactly.

• 1:51Sam Morril?

  All right, yeah, so if he wants to look like that, you know.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  You look great. I tell you all the time.

• 1:57Mark Normand?

  Uh-oh, you guys beefing, what's going on?

• 2:00Speaker 01

  We beef every day.

• 2:01Sam Morril?

  We can't have this after the Are You Garbage episode, this is too much beef.

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  Do drugs there, Nick.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  I do, I just steal his.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Neither one of us does drugs, I drink like, once every five months, Nick has never had a drink in his life.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  I've never drank in my life, I've never done drugs in my life.

• 2:16Mark Normand?

  Whoa, what's the vice?

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Also the Victorian ghost aspect of it all, um, what is my vice?

• 2:22Mark Normand?

  You gotta have some.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Hatred, um, arguing.

• 2:26Sam Morril?

  Hatred?

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Diet Coke.

• 2:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 2:29Sam Morril?

  You guys are having like, an Adam's apple off right here, this is crazy, look at that.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  I also have a big Adam's apple, I don't like my Adam's apple.

• 2:36Mark Normand?

  No, no, Adam's apple's good.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  You were being a couple of us.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Profile looks like.

• 2:40Mark Normand?

  You're a man, goddamn it. Keep it.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Well, Sam, it was fun seeing you last night.

• 2:47Sam Morril?

  We had a good time, man, we were rolling.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were, honestly, we could have done that for a solid hour.

• 2:51Sam Morril?

  How long did we go on?

• 2:53Speaker 01

  We probably did like, you and I probably did like, 25 minutes.

• 2:55Sam Morril?

  We were rolling.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  I had seven comics.

• 2:57Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  It was like, after two hour, like, four hours of show, I mean...

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Was the second audience as good as the first one?

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, they were both great.

• 3:04Mark Normand?

  You did two sold-out VUs?

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:07Mark Normand?

  Geez, you're huge.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  And each one was crowd work with a different comic.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Wow. It was, yeah, it was, it was, I was exhausted.

• 3:14Sam Morril?

  We were cooking, though.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  We were.

• 3:16Mark Normand?

  It's a brilliant move, though, I mean, the clips are great, I see every one of them, they all blow up.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  It's kind of fun to like, I think maybe it's like, fun for comedy fans to see comics and how they interact differently onstage with each other, because everyone has a different style.

• 3:30Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  And then you come onstage, you have to like, work together to sort of, you know, I like it, it's like seeing like, Magneto and Sailor Moon work together or something, like, different universes.

• 3:39Mark Normand?

  And audiences are, like, whenever I do the road, they're like, where's Sam, where's Joe List, and I'm like, well, we do separate things, you know.

• 3:45Sam Morril?

  You knew that when you bought the ticket, you're just...

• 3:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But, so when they see them, see comics together, it's very exciting, it's like Superman, Batman.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is very exciting, it's Whitney and Mariah.

• 3:53Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  It's a nice moment, yeah, we had fun, though, Sam, that was good.

• 3:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we were, I feel like we got locked in, that was some good shit.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  We also have good chemistry, every time we do it, it's fun.

• 4:02Sam Morril?

  It's good, man, we've, we've such different styles, it works.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Did you start at the same time, or did one of you start?

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Oh, I started in 2009 in Chicago, but then I moved here in 2012, so I started, we were probably all, I met you at the Creek. You were eating a burrito.

• 4:20Mark Normand?

  Hi.

• 4:21Sam Morril?

  I did that.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:23Sam Morril?

  I love burritos, too.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  No, but we all started together.

• 4:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, basically same time.

• 4:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 4:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, seven, oh, eight, for me, in New York.

• 4:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that was a good, those Caroline shows back in the day, dude.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  They were so good.

• 4:33Sam Morril?

  Stacked.

• 4:34Mark Normand?

  You get a free meal.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Those chicken, what was it, the?

• 4:36Sam Morril?

  Chicken parm.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Chicken parm.

• 4:38Sam Morril?

  It was a block of El Vida.

• 4:39Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I, those shows, it would be like us, it would be Chris DiStefano.

• 4:44Mark Normand?

  Michael Robles.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  I'd show all of them all the time, change it all the time.

• 4:46Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  And there was like, 15 people in the audience.

• 4:49Mark Normand?

  I know, in a huge room.

• 4:50Sam Morril?

  I remember, I remember we did one of those shows once, after Tom Green, and no one was at our show, and he felt so bad for us, he started trying to walk people from his show.

• 4:59Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 5:00Sam Morril?

  Into our show, and I was like, ah, Tom Green's out.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  They were like, now we're good.

• 5:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Truly, they did not want to.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Did you ever do the prom shows?

• 5:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

• 5:08Sam Morril?

  I did them in a blackout.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  The what?

• 5:10Speaker 01

  See, Nick is very fascinated by our times, open mics and bar shows we did, because it's so different now.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  It's so different now.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  We, at Caroline's, God rest, uh, rest in, rest in peace Caroline's, they had, um, uh, prom shows, after prom, they would come to the cell, or come to...

• 5:28Speaker 02

  The kids?

• 5:29Mark Normand?

  They didn't want the kids to drink, so like, go to a comedy show, and, you know, have fun.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  They didn't want them to drink, so they sent them to a comedy club?

• 5:36Mark Normand?

  Hey, well, it's, it's monitored, you know, they're babysitting, they're not off in the streets of Manhattan.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  That what, did you guys have Diet Coke, by the way?

• 5:44Mark Normand?

  I think we got one around here somewhere.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Can I have one, please?

• 5:47Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, I just, oh my god, wow.

• 5:49Sam Morril?

  That was crazy. Do we have big-titted women here, is there, uh, can you just deliver them like that?

• 5:55Speaker 01

  My first, one of my first members of Mark, uh, um, we were at, I think it was that, did you ever, was it the, it was somewhere in Brooklyn, the Crocodile Lounge?

• 6:03Mark Normand?

  Crocodile Lounge.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Where you get like, a free, free pizza.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  That's still a thing.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  And Mark, I, I just got offstage, and Mark was up next, and Mark goes, great job, and smacked my ass, and ran onstage.

• 6:12Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  That was my first member, Mark.

• 6:14Mark Normand?

  I'm an ally.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  And then, my favorite member is Sam.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  You both are allies, because you love musicals.

• 6:20Sam Morril?

  I do.

• 6:21Mark Normand?

  I do too, I do too.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Oh, you do?

• 6:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, Oklahoma.

• 6:24Sam Morril?

  He killed it.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Four queers.

• 6:26Mark Normand?

  West Side Story.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Hacking out on musicals.

• 6:28Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Those are fun, though, those, those open mics back in the day, the bar shows.

• 6:33Sam Morril?

  Oh, dude.

• 6:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was, that was all we had, we had no money, we had no lives, no career, no clips, no internet.

• 6:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we were just living for the moment more.

• 6:41Mark Normand?

  Love of the game.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  And it sounds so, like, Hallmark-y, but it's true.

• 6:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  Because it was like, if you got on Knitting Factory, or Cabin, or Night Train, it was like...

• 6:50Sam Morril?

  No one knows what we're talking about, by the way. So people listening are like, what are you?

• 6:53Speaker 01

  You didn't? No, I'm still mad about that.

• 6:55Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  No fucking whiplash.

• 6:57Mark Normand?

  Whiplash.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  They never, Jeremy never put me on whiplash.

• 6:59Sam Morril?

  Oh, he had an issue with me, too, remember?

• 7:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he thought you were some kind of alpha, like, tough guy, and I was like, he's Jewish.

• 7:05Sam Morril?

  And I thought he was a little bitch.

• 7:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:07Sam Morril?

  So, maybe he was right.

• 7:10Mark Normand?

  I'm shocked, you know.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  What was your first big moment that you were like, fuck, I'm really doing this?

• 7:15Mark Normand?

  Conan? Conan, maybe, I took Conan's tie, I dabbed my forehead, because I was like, so keyed up, and just adrenaline rush.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  That was a bad moment.

• 7:23Mark Normand?

  That was bad, he didn't love it.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  He didn't love it, really?

• 7:25Mark Normand?

  He didn't love it, yeah.

• 7:26Sam Morril?

  What did he say to you again, after you, so he, Mark murders his first Conan set, and then, as Conan walks over, he grabs Conan's tie and dabs his forehead with the sweat?

• 7:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:36Sam Morril?

  What did he say to you?

• 7:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I thought it was funny.

• 7:38Sam Morril?

  It's funny.

• 7:39Mark Normand?

  But he was like, my mic's on there, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, sorry, because his mic was taped to the tie, so he's like, you're fucking up the show, and, uh...

• 7:44Speaker 01

  No, it's a taped show, you're not fucking up the show.

• 7:47Mark Normand?

  That's what I said, I'm goofing, I'm a comedian, I'm being a comedian.

• 7:50Sam Morril?

  But then, didn't he say something like, uh, it was an exceptional set, don't do that?

• 7:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, he said, don't do that again.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Fair, at least he recognized it was funny.

• 7:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But the beauty of those shows, I did it again, like, a year later, and you're like, hey, is he gonna be mad about the tie, he's like, who are you?

• 8:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 8:04Mark Normand?

  You know, he has no idea.

• 8:05Sam Morril?

  Conan was a big one for me, too.

• 8:06Mark Normand?

  JP Buck.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  JP Buck, that's right.

• 8:08Sam Morril?

  Conan was a big one, but I didn't love my first set, my first set, the crowd was so tight, so my second one was like, one where I was like, holy shit, that felt like I crushed, I did like, a lot of my favorite jokes, and I was, if it's on YouTube somewhere, I'm in a red flannel on that set.

• 8:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:22Sam Morril?

  I was really pumped with that set, that was, that was one I was like, oh, I was, yeah, those late-night sets, we loved it.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  My first Seth Meyers, and they were great, because they had, the woman who was booking it at the time, she was literally like, whatever, do whatever you want, see you on Tuesday.

• 8:37Mark Normand?

  What?

• 8:38Speaker 01

  And there was no, because you know, usually they're like, you can't say this, you say that, move this joke here, don't do that, blah, blah, blah, she was like, go for it.

• 8:44Mark Normand?

  Whoa, that's great.

• 8:46Sam Morril?

  Did you do the opener, where you sang opera on that show? That was...

• 8:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was the ultimate opener.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:53Mark Normand?

  Couldn't follow that one.

• 8:54Sam Morril?

  I mean, he would come out and sing opera, and then he would just go, that's a true story of how I came out to my parents?

• 8:59Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 9:00Sam Morril?

  That was maybe the hardest-hitting opener.

• 9:02Mark Normand?

  Killer, because you, it has, you suck them in with the singing, and you get to tell them something about you, it's got it all.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Also, do you know what I found out years later, I didn't even think about it, omi obabino kato means, my dear dad.

• 9:13Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  I was like, wow, talk about real, that was, yeah, that was the first joke at the, remember the six o'clock Creek mics?

• 9:19Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  The one, you know.

• 9:21Mark Normand?

  I lived at that mic.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, um, that was the first one that people paid attention to me, so it was a nice, like...

• 9:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, because you're like, someone with actual talent? What the hell is that?

• 9:29Mark Normand?

  Singing?

• 9:30Sam Morril?

  He can sing?

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Because it's hard to grip an audience, you're like, all right, it balances out.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Who was the first comics that were nice to you?

• 9:37Mark Normand?

  Cosby? No, no. Um, let's see.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Publicly.

• 9:42Mark Normand?

  Well, Schumer was very nice to me and then put me, you know, gave me a career, basically. She, she put me on the road. She got me, uh, some money.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  The first at an open mic who said hi, like Subo was the first one at the creek. You know, everyone kinda like ignores you. She walked right up. She was like, hi.

• 9:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Welcome. I'm also from Chicago. Like, she was the nicest person to me.

• 10:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, that, that goes a long way. Yeah. Who was nice?

• 10:03Sam Morril?

  I remember the pros. The mics are like such a.

• 10:06Mark Normand?

  It's a blur.

• 10:06Sam Morril?

  Such a mush.

• 10:07Mark Normand?

  It is a mush.

• 10:07Sam Morril?

  It's a mush of, yeah, booze and.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Or at the clubs. Who was the first one that was like, hey, welcome?

• 10:12Sam Morril?

  Ted Alexandro was very nice.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Oh, Ted's always nice.

• 10:15Sam Morril?

  Uh, Gary Goldman was very nice. Schumer was, yeah, to me also, she helped both of us immeasurably. So that, and Attell took me on the road. So that was like, that was, you know.

• 10:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 10:26Sam Morril?

  Being in a car with that guy for a while, you're like, oh shit, this is, this is, this is an amazing brain.

• 10:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Veder was the first guy like I met in New York, so he was very nice.

• 10:34Sam Morril?

  Me too.

• 10:35Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 10:36Sam Morril?

  I, well, I met him, he, he was bombing an open mic, Veder, and I'm fucking, I'm in the crowd just spaced out. Cause it was mics, it was Maui Taco. I remember this.

• 10:44Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 10:44Sam Morril?

  And I was like, you're just all zoned out. And he goes, this asshole's not paying attention. He just picked on me. And then the next night, uh, I had a book show that's, my other producer booked him on. And Gary's like, sorry about that. I was like, nah, it's, you know.

• 10:57Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 10:57Sam Morril?

  It's an open mic. So I know you, you're like, you melt down with them every once in a while.

• 11:00Mark Normand?

  I also saw you stand up and he's like, oh shit. Might be taller than me.

• 11:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  I remember, we just had this stupid moment at a show at a club recently where this non-verbal autistic person sat in the front row, but they didn't tell us and we didn't know. And I was hosting and it was him and his friend and they're sitting there and the guy wouldn't look at me the whole time and I'm hosting. So I just kept going, oh, you don't like gay people? You don't wanna look at me? So I, what are you guys doing?

• 11:30Sam Morril?

  He's like, yes, but that has nothing to do with my disorder.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  That's, that's how he became verbal.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  His friend would only answer and I was like, oh, so your friend has to answer for you? And I just kept going until it finally clicked. And I was like, well, fuck. But I was bringing Gary up and I couldn't let him know.

• 11:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Gary will handle that just fine.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  He just came right up and he's doing jokes. Everyone's laughing except this guy in the front. And he goes, oh, so I'm not funny to you?

• 11:59Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  And we just kept going on.

• 12:02Mark Normand?

  Like lay that, lay that, those guys need a, like a placard around their neck.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  I was like, the front row.

• 12:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah. That's crazy to do.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Cause that's all we pick on is the one not laughing.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  I was like, they were the only two sitting in the front row and not laughing. I was like, obviously I'm hosting the show. I'm gonna.

• 12:16Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  My first joke, I remember of Gary's like remembering, it was, um, he's like, yeah, you know, it's like, like low energy. He's like, yeah, I was, uh, buying babe, uh, butt wipes and the woman said, you know, the, the woman said to me, oh, they have those cucumber scented now. And Gary goes, oh, really? Wow. That's great. Because before this, I was just using it and shoving a cucumber up my ass.

• 12:39Mark Normand?

  I remember that one.

• 12:39Sam Morril?

  In that deadpan, I remember one of his first jokes when I met him, he was doing at the mics. He goes, uh, this guy's trying to set me up with someone. She goes, she's the girl version of you. You'll love her. And he goes, I'm five, five. I suck at sports. I am the girl version.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  He also had, um, I saw a blind man with a dog. I seen a dog and the blind man hit the wall. And he said, bad dog. You did a bad job. Bad job. And the dog goes, I don't know how I got this job.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Classic.

• 13:08Mark Normand?

  Man. Alright, I feel bad. Nick, Nick wasn't at the creek in 2009. We gotta bring him in.

• 13:13Sam Morril?

  I don't know how you guys even, I, I've met Nick a bunch of times. I don't know how you guys know each other.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  In orgy. We were the only two that wore condoms.

• 13:21Mark Normand?

  We were all thinking it.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  No, we met.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Honestly, that's most gay guys. If you ask, how do they know? They met over Grindr. We did not. We met through our friend, Bob the Drag Queen.

• 13:32Mark Normand?

  Uh huh.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  He and Bob and Monet and all them were all friends. I met Bob separately. I didn't have any gay friends. And as he says, he treated me like little gay orphan Annie and said, here's your friends now.

• 13:44Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, it was this one.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  And also we were the first ones to let Nick know that he has a weird voice.

• 13:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Thirty years.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  I had no idea that he sounded like that.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Pennsylvania.

• 13:55Sam Morril?

  What part?

• 13:57Speaker 02

  North of Scranton.

• 13:58Mark Normand?

  Just say it.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  Middle of nowhere. It's called New Melford. It's 700 people.

• 14:01Mark Normand?

  Do you have a street light?

• 14:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:03Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  It's one mile long. My dad's the mayor.

• 14:07Mark Normand?

  Get out of here.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  I mean, half the town's my family. I.

• 14:11Mark Normand?

  Wow. Pull up.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Um, I mean, it was pretty evident from when I was a kid that I didn't belong there.

• 14:18Mark Normand?

  Lot of gay nightlife out there in New Melford.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  Surprise. Actually, there's a gay campground right behind the town.

• 14:26Sam Morril?

  You know it's bad when you gotta go to Scranton for the action.

• 14:28Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Big city. Um, pull up, is it New Melford?

• 14:34Speaker 02

  New Melford.

• 14:35Mark Normand?

  I gotta see this on a map.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Drone footage.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  I don't think it still exists.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Me and Bob, Bob the Drag Queen's from Atlanta. So we did drones of Atlanta. Then I did of Chicago. Obviously both big cities. And then we did New Melford.

• 14:48Sam Morril?

  Wow. Look at those houses.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  Well, those houses are not.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  That's not my town.

• 14:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  I don't know what that.

• 14:53Mark Normand?

  That looks like where you came out of as a baby.

• 14:59Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  I don't know where those are. Um, that is the town.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  That looks pretty though, Nick. You got a mo.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  That's a very nice picture.

• 15:09Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Nick, you're surrounded by the mountains. Like you literally grew up in the fucking forest.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Why are you acting like you don't know that?

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Because I didn't realize it was so picturesque. You made it sound like.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  I would survive. I've told you this numerous times.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  I'm not even getting involved.

• 15:22Sam Morril?

  Are you good in, are you good in the woods?

• 15:24Speaker 02

  We just talked about this on our podcast. Someone came. They picked you both up in your current state.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Whatever you're wearing in your current state, they dropped you in the middle of a forest, gave you the essentials. How long realistically could you last?

• 15:38Sam Morril?

  Is it bad that I'm picturing my phone battery being too low right now to, I mean, this is not long, I don't think.

• 15:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Do we get the phone?

• 15:44Speaker 01

  No. Oh, no phone. Mark, you get like.

• 15:47Mark Normand?

  Well, I got a phone on me.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  A knife, flint to make you fire, like, bear, it's like Survivor. How much, how many days could you last before you tap out?

• 15:54Sam Morril?

  Well, we have to, we have to hunt for food.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Yes, you have to survive.

• 15:58Mark Normand?

  Was it winter? Is it summer?

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Uh, we haven't specified. Just a thick forest.

• 16:03Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay. I'd last longer than him. He's a, he's all, he's a Manhattan kid.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:06Sam Morril?

  But I went to camp. I can do, I can make a fire.

• 16:08Mark Normand?

  I went to camp. Was I with concentration camp? I'm talking about.

• 16:11Sam Morril?

  You went to concentration camp?

• 16:13Mark Normand?

  Jesus, it's a joke.

• 16:14Sam Morril?

  I know, I got the joke.

• 16:15Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 16:16Sam Morril?

  It doesn't, the joke doesn't land. It doesn't work. Anyway.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  So how long could you last? Realistically.

• 16:22Sam Morril?

  Eight hours.

• 16:22Mark Normand?

  Eight hours?

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Come on, you could last more than like a day. I said max, max. I could do 10 days.

• 16:29Mark Normand?

  10 days is hard. That's crazy.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  But that's what I'm saying. Oh, then wait till you hear this one's answer.

• 16:34Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna go, I'd say probably eight days. Cause you need food.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:38Mark Normand?

  And you need a gym.

• 16:39Sam Morril?

  You can't, you can't, you can't not eat for eight days.

• 16:42Mark Normand?

  I could do it. I could kill a squirrel or strangle a moose.

• 16:45Sam Morril?

  A squ- strangle a moose.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  I said six months.

• 16:49Mark Normand?

  Six months? You're crazy.

• 16:51Sam Morril?

  With those arms, are you kidding me?

• 16:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, come on.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Realistically, you don't think you could make it work?

• 16:57Mark Normand?

  That's insanity.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  It's a kind of delusion.

• 16:59Mark Normand?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 17:01Sam Morril?

  I think 10 days is crazy.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  That's what I thought. I thought that would be max, like 10 days. Cause they only do 40 days on Survivor. And Nick goes, they do? And they look terrible. I'm like, well, how do you think you would look after six months?

• 17:13Speaker 02

  If I was in the moment, adrenaline took over, I could make it work.

• 17:17Mark Normand?

  I don't think so.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  What are you eating?

• 17:19Speaker 02

  I would strangle a rabbit. I would.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  You have to catch a rabbit, Nick.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Okay, I'd sneak up on it.

• 17:23Mark Normand?

  Nick, you're six four.

• 17:25Sam Morril?

  Do you have any outdoor skills?

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Well, I was in the Boy Scouts for a week. Then they told me, sweetie, this isn't for you.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  You know that, you know it's not for you when they start with sweetie.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  But I came, that's my town. That's where I came from. I could rough it. Granted, I grew up in the town.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  So where'd you live, Nick?

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Is that my town? Sure. I think it is.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  No, I don't.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  I actually don't know.

• 17:45Mark Normand?

  That town looks kinda bumpin'.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  New, well, there is a, oh, that's Melford. It's not, it's New Melford. Oh, that's our library.

• 17:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Which one? The one that looks like a, a.

• 17:55Sam Morril?

  Eight days? I don't think you got eight days in you.

• 17:57Mark Normand?

  I could do eight days.

• 17:58Sam Morril?

  I don't think you got it in you.

• 17:59Mark Normand?

  I was a Cub Scout and a Boy Scout.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  There we go. Not Eagle Scout.

• 18:02Mark Normand?

  Nah, didn't make it to Eagle.

• 18:03Sam Morril?

  Are you, are you good outdoors? Could you kill an animal?

• 18:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, sure. I've killed many animals.

• 18:08Sam Morril?

  Could you cook the animal after you killed it?

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, after he caught the rabbit, that he had to, you have to gut it and take out all the.

• 18:15Mark Normand?

  I've done that.

• 18:16Speaker 02

  I said skinny.

• 18:17Sam Morril?

  You've gutted a rabbit?

• 18:18Mark Normand?

  I've gutted a fox, a fox.

• 18:19Sam Morril?

  Why?

• 18:20Mark Normand?

  Why? Uh, you know, I had some tough times in the woods with some friends.

• 18:24Sam Morril?

  What? You did not gut a fucking fox.

• 18:26Mark Normand?

  I cut a fox.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Marx's life in New Orleans has half Little House on the Prairie.

• 18:30Mark Normand?

  I'm from Louisiana.

• 18:31Sam Morril?

  You gutted a fox?

• 18:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I went hunting with my dad when I was little.

• 18:34Sam Morril?

  Why did you kill a fox?

• 18:36Mark Normand?

  We hit, we hit a fo-, we hit a fox with the car and then we said, we should eat it. It's the right thing to do. So we cut it open.

• 18:44Sam Morril?

  That's not killing, it's accidentally killing.

• 18:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying the gutting.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Marx was trying to tell us the eight roadkill.

• 18:49Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 18:50Sam Morril?

  Well, you better do what.

• 18:52Mark Normand?

  You can do with it, otherwise.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Where did you grow up?

• 18:55Mark Normand?

  This is about a week ago. New Orleans. Uh, New Orleans, Louisiana.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Wow. So there, so the kids, when you grew up, didn't do a thing called milking? Where they would pick up roadkill and throw it at people's houses?

• 19:08Mark Normand?

  No, I grew up in the city part, so we didn't do a lot of that. No.

• 19:15Sam Morril?

  We did a different type of milking.

• 19:21Sam Morril?

  What the hell? Yeah. So you just throw people's house?

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like a prank.

• 19:25Mark Normand?

  Wow, geez. Imagine that six, four guy coming out at night with. Ah, Jesus Christ.

• 19:36Mark Normand?

  I gotta get one of those tables.

• 19:38Sam Morril?

  Why is there pegging happening?

• 19:40Mark Normand?

  You peg and jerk at the same time.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  Table and you lay your dick through the hole and they milk it like a cow.

• 19:47Sam Morril?

  Well, that seems extreme.

• 19:48Mark Normand?

  Well, milking the prostate is in the butt.

• 19:51Sam Morril?

  On that, I can only last like five minutes, probably.

• 19:53Mark Normand?

  That I could do eight days.

• 19:56Mark Normand?

  But six months is insane.

• 19:58Sam Morril?

  Six months is insane.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Nick, I have to, you got it. At some point, you have to become to terms with reality. Every human you've told this to, like fifty people at the store last night, when you told Maddie Weiner, she laughed so hard she couldn't breathe.

• 20:13Sam Morril?

  I don't think you can kill an animal.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  I mean, I, okay, who would have a better job in the forest, me or Nick?

• 20:17Sam Morril?

  I'm taking you for sure.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  In what world, Sam?

• 20:21Mark Normand?

  Hey, at least belt.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Muscles has nothing, they're gonna drag him down.

• 20:26Mark Normand?

  You could pretend to be a tree. I feel like you could blend in.

• 20:31Mark Normand?

  You know?

• 20:31Speaker 02

  I do that for a couple of days.

• 20:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but I mean, come on.

• 20:35Sam Morril?

  He's got some crazy in him. To do Broadway, you gotta be a little crazy.

• 20:37Mark Normand?

  True.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 20:38Mark Normand?

  And Italian.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's and Mexican.

• 20:41Mark Normand?

  And Mexican.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  That's a lot of killing animals with through the neck.

• 20:44Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  Gays are resourceful, though, I genuinely think.

• 20:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they can make the forest.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  When it comes to like a circus party.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  I'll concede a little, three months.

• 20:57Mark Normand?

  Have you seen these outdoor shows, like Alive or whatever they're called?

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Any kind of clip of someone living in a forest? Because Nick, I don't think Nick quite grasps.

• 21:04Mark Normand?

  Mosquitoes, pond water, you gotta cook the water.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  And you make a good point, like, there's so much disease in forests that he, like, I mean, especially like the Congo and the Amazon, especially the Congo.

• 21:14Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  There's so much disease there.

• 21:16Sam Morril?

  Plus, I've seen his apartment, he's gonna tire himself out redecorating the forest, you know?

• 21:22Speaker 01

  I'm gonna live like Poison Ivy in Batman.

• 21:25Mark Normand?

  There's a lot of bacteria, prep's not gonna help you there.

• 21:32Mark Normand?

  All right, what do we got here? No, no, this show's on Netflix I'm talking about. They, they take, like, they take, like, Marines and, uh, Green Berets and people who go in the woods.

• 21:44Sam Morril?

  He ate the snake, that guy?

• 21:45Mark Normand?

  What is it called? Wilderness or?

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Bear Grylls.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Alone. Is that what it's called? Cause everyone's telling him to watch Alone.

• 21:51Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  Okay, Nick, we need to watch Alone.

• 21:53Sam Morril?

  What about Naked and Afraid?

• 21:55Speaker 02

  One of the, oh.

• 21:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that's a different one.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  No, I mean, that's.

• 21:57Mark Normand?

  But they're naked, they're naked.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  And there's nothing naked you wanna see.

• 22:01Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 22:02Sam Morril?

  It never is.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  What is this? Cause they're playing.

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  Wow, see, this guy's good. He's just got a snare on a rabbit here.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Nick, are you gonna do that?

• 22:08Speaker 02

  No, I would catch it bare hand.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  They're basically playing.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  If you sneak up on it while it's sleeping, why could you not?

• 22:16Mark Normand?

  It takes a lot of, you know, moxie to.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  And I'll bite it back.

• 22:23Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  You're gonna kill that thing when you snare it?

• 22:26Mark Normand?

  Cute.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  You know, the rabbits are really.

• 22:27Sam Morril?

  They are cute. I don't wanna kill one.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  I don't either.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  But I don't want to, but if I have to survive.

• 22:33Mark Normand?

  He's gonna crack his neck.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  They're gonna show that's on YouTube?

• 22:37Speaker 01

  You're gonna do this one day.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  What, in the moment?

• 22:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, God, I don't wanna see it. He's gonna, this poor rabbit has no idea. Pet it first. That was kinda fucked up.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe he's not gonna kill it, he's just petting it.

• 22:50Sam Morril?

  He was just showing that he could do it. All right, that was weird.

• 22:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, all right, but we're all pussies.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  It did seem very villain-esque to pet it, to.

• 23:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  But he just pet it, that's good.

• 23:02Sam Morril?

  Didn't Apollo used to have a joke about how his grandmother used to break the neck and before she would do it, she'd, Don Colione says hello?

• 23:09Speaker 01

  The Italians used to do that, like, break a chicken's neck on the, you know?

• 23:13Speaker 02

  I thought rabbits had red eyes.

• 23:15Mark Normand?

  Some do.

• 23:16Sam Morril?

  Those would be easier to kill.

• 23:19Sam Morril?

  They seem more evil.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Did you know, growing up, cause in Pennsylvania, we were in deer country, I thought they all had green eyes, cause we would go out at night with the flashlights to go see the deer, and when you flash the light on them.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  The reflection.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Right, but I didn't realize, I just thought they all had green eyes. It wasn't till.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Yesterday.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  I was too old to learn.

• 23:40Mark Normand?

  So you've been in the woods a little.

• 23:42Sam Morril?

  What are the other disagreements? This is clearly.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  We've got lots of disagreements. It's basically like how one could survive in any kind of situation, you know? We argue about, well, what have we argued about on our podcast? Pretty much everything.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  We've been labeling a lot of things as gay, straight or bi.

• 24:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, okay, let's, let's hear some.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  We talked about sports are gay.

• 24:05Mark Normand?

  What's a bi sport?

• 24:07Sam Morril?

  Oh, you're just the whole thing?

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, just go through and you, like, name some sports, we'll tell you.

• 24:11Mark Normand?

  Hockey.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Basketball, what we think is.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  Women's basketball, lesbian, obviously.

• 24:15Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Men's basketball, I said gay, because.

• 24:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's good.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Gay DL.

• 24:26Mark Normand?

  Got it, got it.

• 24:27Sam Morril?

  What do you say?

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Sure, I agree. Yeah, yeah.

• 24:31Sam Morril?

  We got some common ground here.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  There was some common ground. What did we disagree on? Soccer, I said was gay presenting, but straight.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  I think it's fully gay.

• 24:40Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  I don't know. Rugby's fully gay.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  There's something really gay about tennis, like, ah!

• 24:45Mark Normand?

  Right, right, the grunting.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Tennis, I think we said bi.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  I think it's pretty gay. All their asses are out, the grunting, the balls.

• 24:55Mark Normand?

  See, I think soccer's straight, cause a gay man has to use his hands. You know?

• 24:59Speaker 01

  You don't know many gay men.

• 25:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  What about headers?

• 25:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, good point, good point.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  No, but our podcast, basically, I mean, we disagree, we also just fought about a lot of stuff. There's been a lot of education on, uh, the weather for Nick, science.

• 25:14Sam Morril?

  Hockey's straight?

• 25:15Speaker 01

  With Nick.

• 25:15Sam Morril?

  They, they are skating, though.

• 25:17Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  That's what I said, it's, I said, no, hockey's gay, you're, you're, you're.

• 25:24Sam Morril?

  But they fight.

• 25:25Mark Normand?

  They fight.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  They do fight.

• 25:26Mark Normand?

  And they go in a box.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  They love.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Is it, is it straight when you have to take off a glove to fight?

• 25:32Mark Normand?

  It's like a duel.

• 25:32Sam Morril?

  You get to hit them harder, that's why you do it.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  That's true. I do like going to hockey games, they are really fun.

• 25:36Mark Normand?

  They're fun. And you rip a shirt over the guy.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:40Mark Normand?

  Kinda gay.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  I used to play that hockey game in NES, did anyone remember?

• 25:42Sam Morril?

  Wayne Gretzky 3D hockey? On N sixty four?

• 25:46Speaker 01

  N sixty four had so many good games.

• 25:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, GoldenEye, Donkey Kong.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  I have N sixty four.

• 25:51Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 25:52Speaker 01

  They made it, called it analog, so you can now play it on your T, cause the older one won't work.

• 25:56Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  And on the new one, you hook it up, you get the old N sixty four games and controllers, you play it all?

• 26:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, those are the GoldenEye I played with, with slumber parties for hours.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was a very.

• 26:05Sam Morril?

  Mario Kart.

• 26:06Mark Normand?

  Mario Kart!

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Mario Kart. Nick and I play games every night. He's a, he's a gamer.

• 26:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  I wouldn't label myself a gamer.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  But he plays multiple games every single night.

• 26:18Mark Normand?

  The term is flamer.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  You don't really play that.

• 26:24Mark Normand?

  Well, that's a joystick.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  But isn't that, isn't that, uh, being a gamer, if you play games every night and you stream video games and you're playing with your friends and you play multiple games?

• 26:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  And you have a PC for games and a PS5?

• 26:37Speaker 02

  We play Dress to Impress.

• 26:39Sam Morril?

  What's that?

• 26:39Mark Normand?

  That's a game? That's a video game?

• 26:41Speaker 02

  It's on Roblox, where you literally put outfits together.

• 26:45Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  We play Fortnite, I guess that is a game.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  And we play, we recently played, uh, Shift at Midnight, we played Chained.

• 26:55Sam Morril?

  I don't know what any of these games are, can we pull some of these up?

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Dress to Impress is the best one, because honestly, our straight friend plays, and I'm telling you, there's nothing better for gay rights when your straight friend at ten seconds left goes, fuck, I forgot to do my nails.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Such a good game.

• 27:09Sam Morril?

  What is this?

• 27:10Speaker 01

  So basically, you play against other people, you get a theme, and then you have to dress your, you should get a video of it if you could. I'm sorry, cause this is just, this looks ridiculous.

• 27:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  If, it, it basically.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  Roblox is?

• 27:23Sam Morril?

  No.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Oh, Roblox is like a gaming site for children.

• 27:26Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  And then Dress to Impress is very gay coded, so it's all children and then forty year old gay men that wanna put outfits together.

• 27:34Mark Normand?

  Got it. Oh, wow, this is like a cartoon.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  That was limited.

• 27:47Sam Morril?

  Do a different one, this is weird.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  How about this? Type in Dress to Impress Mateo, cause Nick and I have already played with each other.

• 27:56Mark Normand?

  There we go.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  And you have to compete with one another.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Not the first.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Oh, the second one, the second one. The first one, we did a live Dress to Impress, so this one, so basically what you do is. This is us, you have to walk around this giant room, if you wanna fast forward, maybe like a quarter of the way through.

• 28:12Sam Morril?

  And you put an outfit on?

• 28:13Speaker 01

  Yes, now I'm doing her hair. So you do the hair, the makeup, the outfit.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  The theme is caveman.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  Right. See, if the top it says caveman, and you get six minutes to put this look together, and then you compete with the other people.

• 28:26Sam Morril?

  Why's she have so much hair?

• 28:27Speaker 01

  Well, you have to mold it, you have to change the color and change.

• 28:30Mark Normand?

  This is elaborate. Now, what, what does caveman have to do with anything?

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Well, it's just, you have to make a dress based off what a caveman could be.

• 28:36Mark Normand?

  Got some fur.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  So mine's food right now, so I'm taking her hat, putting it upside down, putting blonde hair in it to make it look like pasta.

• 28:42Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Putting those two things on top to make it meatballs, so she's got pasta on her head. Like, you can do all this creative shit with it.

• 28:48Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  So, yeah.

• 28:49Mark Normand?

  Serious you look on the left there.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  A gamer?

• 28:53Sam Morril?

  I would call this a gay, for sure.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  It's for forty year old gay men and seven year old girls. Isn't that a great outfit? Nah, I'm changing her makeup.

• 29:02Mark Normand?

  That's fun. You can do cool shit.

• 29:05Sam Morril?

  I love that gay guys do this and straight guys, when they get a video game, they're like, I'm gonna kill a hooker.

• 29:09Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  We're making it. We're making the hooker. I am excited for Grand Theft Auto VI, by the way, but also Zelda: Ocarina of Time. They're remastering it and it's coming out in Switch.

• 29:20Sam Morril?

  I played very different games. Growing up, I played like Madden, Basketball, or like the shooters.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Sam, you are the straightest person I know.

• 29:27Sam Morril?

  Or like, uh...

• 29:29Mark Normand?

  Tetris. What about with the Tetris?

• 29:30Sam Morril?

  I love Tetris.

• 29:30Mark Normand?

  Love Tetris. What is it? I love Solitaire.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Mark's like, what about Frogger?

• 29:36Mark Normand?

  I love Frogger.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  What about Tetris?

• 29:40Speaker 01

  The newspaper boy.

• 29:41Sam Morril?

  What about, do you like the shooters, though? You like the shooter game?

• 29:44Speaker 01

  I'm obsessed with all shit.

• 29:45Mark Normand?

  Call of Duty, all that.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Call of Duty. I mean Fortnite is a shooter game.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Fortnite, we play almost every night.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  I used to play Perfect Dark. I used to play, um, my friends and I used to play, the fuck was it called? We would have to go to like a cybernet cafe and play with our friends. Uh, it was a shooting game. Like, it was like World War. Come on, you guys are straight. You don't remember the shooting game? Cock, uh, fuck. I know you're listening.

• 30:03Mark Normand?

  Doom?

• 30:04Speaker 01

  No, I loved Doom.

• 30:05Mark Normand?

  Doom was fun.

• 30:05Sam Morril?

  Turrock?

• 30:06Speaker 01

  No, Turrock. I forgot about Turrock.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  You went to go to an internet cafe?

• 30:10Speaker 01

  My friend Adam and I, yes, we would have to go.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  How old are you?

• 30:13Speaker 01

  And then, I'm forty. And then, at then, they had all the computers and you would go and you could play Counter-Strike.

• 30:19Mark Normand?

  Counter-Strike!

• 30:19Speaker 01

  Play Counter-Strike with each other.

• 30:21Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes. Okay, I didn't know you were a gamer.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  Nick, we had computers in Chicago. I know in your hometown, that you didn't, you had one computer for the whole town.

• 30:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, he was pointing a flashlight at Deer. That was his game.

• 30:35Sam Morril?

  They dressed the deer to impress.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  It would be fun. Sam, you should come play Dress to Impress sometime.

• 30:41Sam Morril?

  I don't know if it's my speed, but I'll come hang out.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  You, I think you'd...

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Give it a try.

• 30:44Sam Morril?

  I'll give it a try. What the hell? Maybe I'll love it.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys are in the same building.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  Give it a try.

• 30:50Sam Morril?

  I am an ally.

• 30:51Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 30:52Sam Morril?

  What, uh, yeah, uh, I'm trying to think, what other games? I love fucking wrestling, too. WWF, No Mercy, remember that?

• 30:59Speaker 01

  I got into wrestling.

• 31:00Mark Normand?

  Did you like wrestling?

• 31:01Sam Morril?

  I like the games the most.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  No, my brother did. I never, I mean, I do a whole bit about wrestling on stage.

• 31:04Speaker 01

  It's odd because it's so gay looking, yet no gays, really, generally speaking.

• 31:09Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 31:10Mark Normand?

  It's spandex, it's speedos, it's muscles, yeah.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  My brother was into it, so I definitely was like around it.

• 31:16Mark Normand?

  Look at that, Jesus.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  I never thought Hulk Hogan was sexy, though.

• 31:19Mark Normand?

  Who is the sexy?

• 31:20Speaker 01

  But I've done this a million times.

• 31:24Mark Normand?

  Who's the sexiest wrestler?

• 31:26Speaker 01

  You have to show me a list. I can only think of like Cold Stone, Steve Austin, The Rock.

• 31:31Mark Normand?

  Cold Stone.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  Cold Stone!

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Cold Stone Creamery, Steve Austin.

• 31:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, the ladies aren't bad looking.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Oh, the best was Trish Stratus.

• 31:40Mark Normand?

  Okay, who's that? Who?

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Trish Stratus.

• 31:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, she's hot.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 31:45Sam Morril?

  I still would.

• 31:47Mark Normand?

  Eh?

• 31:47Sam Morril?

  Definitely.

• 31:48Mark Normand?

  Hunkarama.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  Who's he?

• 31:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, who is he?

• 31:51Sam Morril?

  Oh, that, I know that guy. Yeah, he's good. He's one of the good ones.

• 31:54Mark Normand?

  Damn. Okay, one of the good ones.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  But I just, I don't know, I never...

• 32:00Speaker 02

  I really liked the women. Trish Stratus, Stacey Keebler, China.

• 32:04Mark Normand?

  China.

• 32:05Sam Morril?

  R.I.P. China, dude.

• 32:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:08Sam Morril?

  I remember when she was in Playboy.

• 32:09Mark Normand?

  I think she had a sex tape as well.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, she did have a sex tape.

• 32:12Sam Morril?

  She did. Confirmed.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  That's Razor Ramon.

• 32:14Mark Normand?

  Razor Ramon, good chest hair.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  I'm not really...

• 32:17Mark Normand?

  Okay. What about the, The Rock wasn't bad looking in the early days.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, The Rock's hot.

• 32:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  I saw him at a gym. My, um, last year I was dating, uh, Gianluca, uh, and him and I went to, they have that Pure Gym, and, no, they have it here too, I think now. And we were in Pure Gym, and it's, it's not like a Equinox or something. I mean, it's a fine gym, but, and all of a sudden The Rock comes in. And he's working out, and he's working out, and he has like two guys standing around him at all times, so you like leave him alone.

• 32:42Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  The Rock is like seven times the size of them.

• 32:46Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  It was so weird.

• 32:47Mark Normand?

  Weird.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  I mean, he is. I would absolutely let him punch me in the throat.

• 32:53Mark Normand?

  Are you into the big muscle guys, or are you more?

• 32:55Speaker 02

  I mean, they're kind of anybody, but how could you not be into that?

• 32:58Mark Normand?

  That's a specimen.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  How could you not be into that?

• 33:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah. That's a...

• 33:02Speaker 01

  What would it take, Mark?

• 33:04Mark Normand?

  Well, what position?

• 33:06Speaker 01

  Uh, you can top.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Dealist's choice.

• 33:07Mark Normand?

  If I could top, I could do it.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 33:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah. No hair to pull, though. That's, that's, throws me.

• 33:13Sam Morril?

  I love this is all like survival questions today.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:16Sam Morril?

  The woods fucking a dude.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:19Mark Normand?

  I could last six months.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's, he's, yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  He doesn't have a nice butt, really.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Actually, the butt's not there.

• 33:27Sam Morril?

  Is that important for a gay dude to have a good butt?

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 33:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 33:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  What do you look for?

• 33:33Mark Normand?

  So many guys with bad butts.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  What's the butt, when you're looking to a butt, what are you looking for, like?

• 33:37Mark Normand?

  A great butt, like a big...

• 33:39Sam Morril?

  Is that why you guys work the legs so much?

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Like a peachy...

• 33:41Sam Morril?

  The glutes?

• 33:42Speaker 01

  Butt, yeah.

• 33:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah? Do you do the glutes or no?

• 33:44Speaker 01

  It's like the same thing you, like, a nice butt on a girl, right? Yeah, it's like the same thing, really.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  You've seen my arms.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  What'd you say?

• 33:49Speaker 02

  I'm barely hanging on.

• 33:51Mark Normand?

  So you got no, no butt? I got no butt?

• 33:54Speaker 01

  You don't have any butt?

• 33:55Mark Normand?

  I got no butt.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  How? Let's have a look, Mark.

• 33:57Mark Normand?

  I mean, I'll show you.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  What do you mean, no butt?

• 34:00Mark Normand?

  I mean, it's just a small white ass.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Get up and show the butt. Like, no one in your family, butts don't run in the family?

• 34:05Mark Normand?

  Not really. My dad's got a flat ass, I got a flat ass.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  Same with my family. It's just, butts don't run in it.

• 34:11Mark Normand?

  You got no, you got a butt?

• 34:13Sam Morril?

  Probably not.

• 34:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Mark Normand?

  And that's, and what about the hair in the ass? Is that a factor?

• 34:18Speaker 01

  Uh, some people like it. Like, it depends.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Some guys are really into it.

• 34:21Mark Normand?

  Take a full bush or a shaven.

• 34:23Sam Morril?

  A full bush?

• 34:24Mark Normand?

  You're, this guy's ass, you, that's gotta be a fucking shag carpet down there.

• 34:27Sam Morril?

  I, I trim.

• 34:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. How do you get in there?

• 34:30Sam Morril?

  How do I get in there? I bend over in the mirror, play some jazz, I don't know.

• 34:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 34:34Sam Morril?

  Bend over the toilet.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  Eleven's jazz trio.

• 34:37Sam Morril?

  Get some Cole Porter going.

• 34:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  You're like, I gotta shave my ass.

• 34:44Sam Morril?

  No, I, yeah, no, it's just in the hole.

• 34:47Mark Normand?

  Just in the hole?

• 34:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I don't have it like on my actual cheeks.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  But why are you, but why are you concerned about hair in your hole?

• 34:53Sam Morril?

  I don't know, I just see it there and I'm like, I can get rid of that.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  It's also...

• 34:55Mark Normand?

  Okay, all right, I appreciate that.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  To the ladies, because if they're gonna be down in that area, you don't wanna...

• 35:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, but do you have a bidet?

• 35:02Sam Morril?

  Of course.

• 35:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, I gotta get a bidet.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Sam's bidet is like the closest thing to a car wash.

• 35:10Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 35:11Sam Morril?

  It's a civil rights hose in my ass. I love it. I want it clean, man. Yeah, why not? I, you know, one of, I, one toilet I have and the other one, I, it's in the wall, so I couldn't do it. It would have cost a ton of money, but, uh... Yeah, I like, I'm happy to see a bidet.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, bidets are great.

• 35:27Mark Normand?

  If you got a shaven butthole and a bidet, you're, you're cruisin'.

• 35:30Sam Morril?

  Am I?

• 35:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:31Speaker 01

  I'm pretty clean. Clean like that. It's easy.

• 35:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, I mean, you know, who wants a nasty butthole?

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Well, I saw some arguments of like guys online who are like, if you wash your ass, you're gay or whatever.

• 35:43Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 35:43Sam Morril?

  Worrying about it is way gayer.

• 35:45Mark Normand?

  Yes, just clean your ass.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  Just clean.

• 35:48Sam Morril?

  What do you think when you see those guys who are like, you're clearly gay, just be gay?

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you can't.

• 35:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  You know, so I guess not washing your ass will keep them at bay.

• 35:58Mark Normand?

  So to speak. Are there people you watch on TV or in movies where you're like, this is a gay person, but they're presenting as straight?

• 36:05Sam Morril?

  Andrew Lloyd Webber.

• 36:07Mark Normand?

  The Architect?

• 36:09Sam Morril?

  No.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  A composer.

• 36:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, oh.

• 36:11Sam Morril?

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• 36:53Sam Morril?

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• 37:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:19Sam Morril?

  It's really, it's, it's great gear. You wear it all the time.

• 37:22Mark Normand?

  I think this is a Fabletics shirt. I love it.

• 37:24Sam Morril?

  I wear it like multiple days a week. I'm wearing the shorts. I love the zipper on the shorts, too. Cause I can, you know, throw a wallet in there and not worry about it falling out.

• 37:32Mark Normand?

  Exactly, AirPods, whatever.

• 37:34Sam Morril?

  I, yeah, it's, uh, great gear. I wear it all the time. If you're new to Fabletics, becoming a VIP unlocks major savings on your first purchase. Shop now at fabletics.com/wmbd to get seventy to eighty percent off everything. That's insane. When you sign up as a new VIP, and yes, it includes the new Jamar Chase collection, take a quick style quiz and make sure to select W-M-B-D when prompted to unlock this offer. This is a limited time offer, so don't wait. Again, that's fabletics.com/wmbd for seventy to eighty percent off everything as a new VIP.

• 38:04Mark Normand?

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• 38:46Mark Normand?

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• 39:15Speaker 01

  I heard The Rock dabbles.

• 39:17Sam Morril?

  No.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  That's what I heard.

• 39:19Sam Morril?

  What is this? Oh, have you seen this? It's pretty funny.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  Someone did one of me.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Really?

• 39:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Did they guess it?

• 39:25Speaker 01

  They thought it was straight. Shut up.

• 39:27Sam Morril?

  They do another one now where they're like, do you think you could take this person in a fight?

• 39:31Speaker 01

  No, I would say no to everybody.

• 39:33Sam Morril?

  But then the guy's always right behind him with gloves and he's like, all right, you want to fight?

• 39:37Speaker 01

  Oh, that's funny.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Do you think you could win in a fight against me?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Nick, you want to watch us arm wrestle? Do you want to watch us arm wrestle?

• 39:44Sam Morril?

  He's got confidence. I like it.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  But no skill.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  Confidence is half the battle.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, half the battle is the straight.

• 39:51Sam Morril?

  It's like eight percent. Quince. Getting dressed for the fall should be easy. A good sweater, pants that fit, a jacket that keeps you warm. Somehow buying those three things can cost you more than your vacation. Quince makes high quality staples using premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere. That's a good cashmere, I guess.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:10Sam Morril?

  Organic cotton, merino wool. You know I love merino wool.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  That's the best wool.

• 40:14Sam Morril?

  That's that wool keeps your feet nice and warm in the winter.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 40:17Sam Morril?

  Love merino wool. Their cashmere sweaters start at 60 bucks. That's wild. They also have premium down jackets, classic wool outerwear for when the temperature drops. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality instead of the brand markup. That's right. No kid labor, I would, I think. Sounds like no kid labor. Is it ethical, right? Uh, no animal testing, probably ethical.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Very good.

• 40:45Sam Morril?

  I, I wear their shit all the time.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Oh, I love Quince.

• 40:48Sam Morril?

  I love it, dude. It's quality, it fits right, and it's not expensive. I, I love it. And I like what, like, it's not the logo everywhere on it.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, true, true.

• 40:56Sam Morril?

  It's got, it's got everything going for it. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK as well. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was We Might Be Drunk. It's the best way to support the show. Quince.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Thank you. Boss, edit was our crew. Nick lost an arm wrestling contest to everyone, including Jacob, who's 5'4".

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Wait, are you right or left handed?

• 41:25Speaker 01

  I'm right.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  I think if we did left hands.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 41:28Sam Morril?

  We could do left hands.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  We have a table here.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Can you arm wrestle?

• 41:31Sam Morril?

  I'd probably.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Are you right or left handed?

• 41:33Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:35Speaker 02

  I think if we all did left hands, I would do better than you think.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Well, that's a long arm. You got a good torque.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  See, I played volleyball. A lot of bend and snap and that.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 41:47Sam Morril?

  Let's see you two left handed.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  I mean, you two left handed. This is big.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Let's move over there.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 41:56Sam Morril?

  We got a lot on our table.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  I don't know if this is the straightest thing or the gayest thing we've ever done.

• 42:00Sam Morril?

  It's always a combination of both.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's just like wrestling.

• 42:03Sam Morril?

  If you beat him left handed, that's pretty emasculating, I gotta say.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  That's a fake tip.

• 42:08Sam Morril?

  Fake breath.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  I've never felt one of these.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  You don't say.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 42:15Sam Morril?

  Have we?

• 42:16Speaker 01

  We gotta talk about that after the arm wrestle.

• 42:17Sam Morril?

  High school, how many women?

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Just one.

• 42:19Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  Women like a tall guy.

• 42:21Sam Morril?

  Are you gonna finish playing with the breasts or we're gonna arm wrestle?

• 42:23Speaker 02

  I've never seen.

• 42:24Sam Morril?

  My god.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 42:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're just clearing, we should really just clear this side because I have a feeling this is gonna go down pretty quickly, but.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  Wait, hold on. Get the elbow. Elbow on the table.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  All right, keep the elbows on the table. Yeah, get those cans out of there.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  What do you, what do you got to counter?

• 42:38Sam Morril?

  I'm not over here. It's the first, not the first time he said that.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  All right, ready?

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Ready?

• 42:42Speaker 01

  One, two, three. Nick, come on, Nick.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  Hold on. You took me by surprise.

• 42:48Speaker 01

  Elbow on the table.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Three. Okay, one more time.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  One, two, three.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  Oh, my god. That can't be possible.

• 42:55Sam Morril?

  He's got huge arms, dude.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  He's ripped.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  That can't be possible.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  All right, your six months went down to six minutes in the woods. And Nick, even, even when you lose, you're like, well, that can't be right.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  I guess in hindsight, I am right handed.

• 43:09Sam Morril?

  He's gonna get eaten by a bear like this isn't fair.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  Well.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Why would, why would your left hand be stronger than my?

• 43:16Speaker 02

  I choose my left.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  But Nick, I work out my arms every, like, day.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Why would I have chose?

• 43:23Speaker 01

  You're very confident.

• 43:25Sam Morril?

  Do you want to try the right?

• 43:25Speaker 01

  You really believe in yourself.

• 43:28Sam Morril?

  This is gonna be worse.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  Well, that's a big hand, too.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  It's gonna be big.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  It's quite a mitt.

• 43:31Sam Morril?

  Look how soft his hands look.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Beautiful hands.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  Let me, let me get the shot of.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Get the guns.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, get the bicep.

• 43:36Sam Morril?

  All right.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  All right.

• 43:37Sam Morril?

  Let's see.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  One, two, three.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Oh, my god. Matthew, Jesus Christ.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good stuff.

• 43:46Sam Morril?

  He sounded like the alien from American Dad when he went down. That was crazy.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  He is Roger.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  Now I gotta hear about his tennis elbow. This lady you plowed. Who is this woman you had sex with?

• 43:56Speaker 02

  My high school girlfriend.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 43:58Sam Morril?

  Did you know you were gay?

• 44:00Speaker 02

  I mean, I always had a feeling, but again, when you come from a small town like that, it just like wasn't a thing. Like, there was no one gay from my town. There wasn't. So it was just sort of like, we were horny kids. I, we got along really well. In hindsight, we were just really good friends. And I was like, all right.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  It's what you do.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  And it, you know, worked. Everything happened and.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. She's married, two kids, doctor.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  His kids.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Mine.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Giant children with noodle arms.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  No, her husband's like a former football player, like bigger than, taller than me.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Do you think you could take him in an arm wrestling contest?

• 44:35Speaker 02

  I'm sure. Yeah.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  Do you think she still longs for you in some kind of way?

• 44:40Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 44:41Sam Morril?

  There is a part of the guy's brain that we were like, I could, I could fucking, I could beat that guy up. I do that sometimes.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  Mine does not. I don't go there.

• 44:48Sam Morril?

  Not really, but there's a part where you're like, I could figure it out. It's the same part of your brain that when you see a comic bomb on a show, you're like, I'll get him.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly.

• 44:55Sam Morril?

  There is that, I don't know.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Well, they did some interview with Manly. They said, could you land a plane if the pilot passed out? And every single guy said yes, which I would say no to that.

• 45:05Sam Morril?

  No.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  I would be like, is there a maybe option? I know. Is someone guiding me through it? Right.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Who could win in a fight between you two?

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Well, he's taller. I used to box back in the day. I work out more than you.

• 45:18Sam Morril?

  I work out.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Oh, you do?

• 45:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  You're in the gym?

• 45:20Sam Morril?

  I'm in the gym.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't know that. Uh-oh. And you got some.

• 45:24Sam Morril?

  I got some, I think I got laid. I think I take him.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  And you got the no dad thing. Probably got some anger in there.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  When I went to public school.

• 45:32Sam Morril?

  That's true.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  I got fucked with quite a bit as a youth.

• 45:35Sam Morril?

  We fought in the city.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 45:37Sam Morril?

  In the fights.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 45:38Sam Morril?

  What, uh?

• 45:39Speaker 01

  You had 9/11.

• 45:41Sam Morril?

  Katrina.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, Katrina. That'll make a man out of you.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  One, one for one.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  I was out there with Sean Penn on a, on a canoe with a gun. All right.

• 45:50Sam Morril?

  That'd be interesting.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that'd be a good Patreon.

• 45:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  To watch you guys fight, to watch me and Nick fight.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Well, I would win.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  I have longer legs.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  You believe in yourself. Show us how you punch.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  You don't need to bring that up.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  You know what?

• 46:08Speaker 01

  He does have huge hands. He could really strangle her.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Do you know how to punch?

• 46:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Do you know how to punch?

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  Have you punched someone?

• 46:16Speaker 01

  Yes, and been punched.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Have you punched someone?

• 46:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  You have?

• 46:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  Who?

• 46:21Speaker 01

  One woman. No.

• 46:23Sam Morril?

  She, she undercooked and it was, uh, no. Uh, no, I, you know, we were kids. We just drank a lot and we'd get in the fights and stuff.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  And you would punch your friends?

• 46:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was normal.

• 46:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  My god.

• 46:37Sam Morril?

  And sometimes you punch the wrong one to get your ass kicked.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happened. People lose their temper.

• 46:43Sam Morril?

  I remember I punched the wrong friend once and he took my face and smashed it into a fucking, into the curb and just.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  A curb?

• 46:48Sam Morril?

  Bloody nose everywhere.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  What was that movie? American History X.

• 46:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Jeez.

• 46:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I used to hang out with neo Nazis. No, we just, we're just drunk.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Got pretty, uh, pretty wild back then. There was no internet.

• 47:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  What else you gonna do? Like that around, like, high school, straight guys together, the scariest thing in the world. 100%. Too much hyper energy and anger.

• 47:09Sam Morril?

  I feel like now when I see young kids, I'm like, these dudes are trouble.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, but this is because we're old.

• 47:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, right.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  That's what it is. Yeah, you see high school boys come on the subway. You're like, oh, shit. I know. I know. I used to have a, I have a joke where I'm like, if I, uh, even though I'm, I look athletic, my greatest fear is to walk by seventh graders playing soccer and the ball accidentally rolls towards me. Right. Yeah, you ever had that thing where the ball goes over the end like, little help? And you're like, oh, god.

• 47:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  This is a big moment. I'd rather be drafted.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  It's horrifying. Uh, no, wait, what is the show? So you guys do a live show as well? We've done a few live shows. We have our podcast. It's called I Never Liked You. And then we just find a topic. It started of us doing it because he calls me seven times a day. I'm like, we might as well monetize this.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  You also call me. You make it seem like I'm the needy one.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  He calls me, what are you doing? But we started because, um.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  We started doing YouTube videos.

• 48:02Speaker 01

  Well, no, first we were, over the pandemic, I was streaming Fortnite and it was us and our friend Donnie. And people really loved Nick because he was so mean, but like not a mean you could take seriously. Like, the first thing he said that made people start paying attention to him is he was like, one time, uh, I called Verizon and I got, I don't know, this woman Sally and she picked up, this is Sally for customer service. How can I help you? I said, Sally, I'm gonna need you to speak to your manager because I can tell you're not gonna be able to help me and I don't want to waste my time with you.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  No, look, in my defense, it was one of those things because everywhere has switched to automated customer service. So I had been on it for like 45 minutes being like, human, human. And then it finally was just this very sweet older woman.

• 48:47Sam Morril?

  There's gonna be no humans left. I mean, it's, it's going that way.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  I know.

• 48:51Sam Morril?

  You have the bit, you have the bit about the Delta gym, but it's like, you know, but it's like, you want the person, just so you can be like, can I get some real?

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Well, because with a human, you can bargain in a way.

• 49:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  They can see, they can hear empathy. Like, if you're running late for a flight or something, how many times a flight attendant said, hold on, let me see what I can do.

• 49:07Sam Morril?

  Exactly.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  You know, and it's like, it's when they see your genuine and nice, yeah, you can be, and just being nice to people goes a long way for both people.

• 49:15Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  If it's a, if it's an AI bullshit, then it's like, I have to stick to the rules no matter what and there's no humanity here. So it's really frustrating because you're, you feel stuck.

• 49:25Sam Morril?

  My friend is mean to his chatbot. And I'm just like, I'm like, I'm too paranoid. I talk to Claude sometimes, but I'm just like, thank you.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you never know.

• 49:34Sam Morril?

  In case they rise up, I don't want to get fucked around.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  They're gonna make.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  He was nice.

• 49:38Sam Morril?

  They might. Maybe I'll just be a slave. You never know.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:42Sam Morril?

  In the, in the revolution.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  That's true. The AI revolution.

• 49:46Sam Morril?

  It's coming.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Fighting. Even the AI guys are like, don't, the, the, the heads of AI are like, this is bad. We've gone too far.

• 49:52Sam Morril?

  And then, but they're still doing it.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  I know.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  But they're still making money.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  Humans have such, why are we like, we see something terrible happening, global warming, you know, everything as simple as smoking, like this will kill you. You're like. I know. Got it. I know.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Well, cause smoking's cool.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  It is, actually.

• 50:08Sam Morril?

  Do you smoke?

• 50:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  I didn't say I was cool.

• 50:12Sam Morril?

  It is cool.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  I do love smoking cigarettes.

• 50:14Sam Morril?

  You have like one of those little ones every once in a while, right? You and Rachel.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  You have, um, what do they call it, the Virginia Slims?

• 50:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Every once in a while. But I prefer like now I would vape if I could.

• 50:25Mark Normand?

  Mm hmm. But nicotine's not bad for you. You get a nice jolt.

• 50:29Sam Morril?

  A drunk cigarette, every once in a while a drunk cigarette. I gotta do, every once in a while I gotta do it.

• 50:34Mark Normand?

  It feels good.

• 50:34Sam Morril?

  They don't count when you're like in Vegas or like.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Also, you really only do it when you're in Europe.

• 50:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I wish I could in two days. You go to Europe a lot.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  I do. I'm doing another tour there.

• 50:44Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  Excited.

• 50:45Mark Normand?

  Italy?

• 50:46Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I'm doing Copenhagen, Paris, Rome, Athens, Munich and Prague.

• 50:53Mark Normand?

  These are great towns.

• 50:54Sam Morril?

  Prague I hear is rough.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  Why?

• 50:56Mark Normand?

  I heard it was beautiful.

• 50:57Sam Morril?

  For comedy.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 50:58Sam Morril?

  No, no, beautiful city.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  It should be fine.

• 51:00Mark Normand?

  Helsinki was good.

• 51:01Sam Morril?

  I like Helsinki.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  I actually did have a good time in Helsinki. It's the Dutch that are.

• 51:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, they're tough.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  Kind of quiet.

• 51:07Sam Morril?

  They don't laugh that hard.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 51:09Sam Morril?

  And they come out. That's the weird thing. It's like they.

• 51:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:11Sam Morril?

  They're comedy fans.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  They come out. I had a joke where I was like after Dutch, like they don't laugh and then they come up to you like, that is the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life.

• 51:22Mark Normand?

  When I did Amsterdam, the promoter or whoever, the guy who ran the theater was like, I gotta tell you, we had three comics before you and they all had a meltdown. And I was like, oh, great. And I'll tell you who it is after, but they're like great comics.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:34Mark Normand?

  So that's what those crowds do to you.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  I had a good time last time. I walked out and I said, I know you that you know that I know that you don't laugh.

• 51:40Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  And then they all laughed. They're kind, you know, but you have to just, you kind of have to change it up based off the vibe of the room.

• 51:45Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  It's like Spain are like, they're the most excited audience in the face of the planet.

• 51:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 51:49Sam Morril?

  But it makes sense. That makes sense.

• 51:51Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 51:51Sam Morril?

  Based on their personalities. Like, look at how they are offstage.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Right. I mean, when you're not on the show, yeah.

• 51:57Sam Morril?

  It's different.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  The Italians clap more than laugh.

• 52:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:00Sam Morril?

  You feel like you're doing Carson in the eighties. You literally tell a joke, you do a pedo joke and they're like.

• 52:09Sam Morril?

  Weird.

• 52:09Mark Normand?

  I've never done Italy.

• 52:10Sam Morril?

  Did Milan. You could do Milan for sure.

• 52:12Mark Normand?

  I would love to do Milan.

• 52:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Florence, I bet you could. Oh, my God. Dude, I met this, I met this woman, I landed in Copenhagen. This has never happened to me. She was so nice. She stops me and she goes, oh, my God, Sam Morril. And she starts crying.

• 52:24Mark Normand?

  What?

• 52:24Sam Morril?

  Whoa. And she goes, I listen to We Might Be Drunk every week.

• 52:27Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 52:28Sam Morril?

  It gets me too much. I've never, I'm with my friend Chase and he goes, has that ever happened? I was like, no one has ever, I'm like, I've made women cry, but.

• 52:34Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure, yeah.

• 52:36Sam Morril?

  It's never been a good thing. But I was, I was, this is amazing. She was so nice.

• 52:40Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 52:41Sam Morril?

  Florence, Italy.

• 52:42Mark Normand?

  Florence.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Shout out to her.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  I love you so much.

• 52:44Sam Morril?

  Amazing.

• 52:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they're passionate.

• 52:46Sam Morril?

  I was like, that has never happened.

• 52:47Mark Normand?

  That's wild.

• 52:48Sam Morril?

  Crazy.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, the Italians are, they're good. I performed in Sicily in Palermo, which was really cool. That was a very strange experience, but like.

• 52:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Great.

• 52:57Mark Normand?

  Why? I gotta go there.

• 52:58Speaker 01

  Because they've never had an American comic there before.

• 53:00Mark Normand?

  Wow. What?

• 53:01Speaker 01

  The setup was like watching this woman from Naples who was like the, the manager screaming at all these Sicilians, everyone's yelling. And at one point they're so Italian, like, we know, we have a spotlight. And they come up to my tour manager. She's like, where's the spotlight? They go, eh, we decided no. She's like, that's my decision. But the audience was great.

• 53:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  How about the French?

• 53:21Speaker 01

  I like the French a lot.

• 53:22Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 53:23Sam Morril?

  You know what the issue with the French is? Any culture that's trying to be cool is not a great comedy audience.

• 53:27Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 53:28Sam Morril?

  And their culture's like cool.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 53:30Sam Morril?

  They're, they're fine. Last show I did there was good, but I've had a couple there where I was like, this is fucking rough.

• 53:35Mark Normand?

  You know what's tough is that Upper Scotland, you do, try to do crowd work and you're like, hey, man, what do you do? He's like, ah.

• 53:42Mark Normand?

  Groundskeeper Willie yelling at you and you have no idea what he's saying.

• 53:45Sam Morril?

  Belfast.

• 53:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, Belfast is real tough.

• 53:48Sam Morril?

  It's a thick accent.

• 53:49Mark Normand?

  Thick.

• 53:49Sam Morril?

  What was that?

• 53:50Mark Normand?

  And these are like, you know, the blue collar people coming out. So the accent's even thicker and crazier and they're calling you slurs. You don't even know what that means. You know, like, look at this cow on a, like, cow on her? Is that bad?

• 54:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 54:01Mark Normand?

  But fun. Yeah. They said Jeff R. Curry was there and he's like, you know, his whole thing's crowd work. And he was like, I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what you're saying. So I ruined the show.

• 54:11Sam Morril?

  But not a good show.

• 54:12Mark Normand?

  No.

• 54:13Sam Morril?

  Just an hour of huh?

• 54:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Could you repeat that? I didn't get it.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  It's nice touring in Europe because you get the whole day to yourself because everyone's asleep here.

• 54:21Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Enjoy it. I'm bringing Marie Foster and I'm excited. We're.

• 54:25Sam Morril?

  I don't even bring my phone out sometimes. I'm like, I'm not going to get a message.

• 54:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:28Sam Morril?

  It's kind of, it's crazy to do.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  But don't you want to take pictures?

• 54:31Sam Morril?

  No, yeah, I guess I, I guess I do bring.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  Sam was ridiculous. He was doing, he was sold out the Chicago Theater and I go, don't you want to take a picture at the end? Sam goes, you think I should? I was like.

• 54:42Sam Morril?

  You're that way too, right?

• 54:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I never think of it.

• 54:44Sam Morril?

  I don't give a shit.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  Don't you want to remember?

• 54:45Sam Morril?

  I got it up here. Who cares?

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Oh, you could just celebrate.

• 54:48Sam Morril?

  Picture of the marquee. It's.

• 54:49Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 54:51Sam Morril?

  Brian got it. I didn't even get it. But yeah, I don't.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  You're never like, let me take a picture of the skyline. Nothing?

• 54:57Sam Morril?

  I'll do that.

• 54:58Mark Normand?

  I'll do that.

• 54:58Sam Morril?

  I'll do that more than myself. My, my own stuff feels weird taking pictures of your own.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  The audience?

• 55:03Mark Normand?

  No, no, never, never.

• 55:05Sam Morril?

  I feel, I see people do that and it, it looks awesome, but it's just not my thing. It's.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  It is a bit awkward, but if you can, you can kind of work it through and it, it's actually fun for them because then they get to go back and look and see where they say, I was sitting there. We were right over there.

• 55:18Mark Normand?

  I don't like when my opener goes, let's get a photo. And I'm like, you just want the photo.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:22Mark Normand?

  Don't act like you want a photo with me. You just want a photo of you at a theater.

• 55:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah. They might want one with you.

• 55:28Mark Normand?

  Photo shot me out. I checked.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  Worst, worst place you've ever performed.

• 55:32Mark Normand?

  Syracuse, New York.

• 55:34Sam Morril?

  It's up there for sure.

• 55:35Mark Normand?

  That's a tough one.

• 55:36Sam Morril?

  I go, I mean, everyone knows mine is Naples. I fucking hate Naples, Florida, but you know, awful, but.

• 55:41Mark Normand?

  Naples is tough.

• 55:42Sam Morril?

  How about you guys? What do you think?

• 55:43Speaker 01

  Uh, well, did we talk about last night Springfield, Massachusetts?

• 55:46Sam Morril?

  We did.

• 55:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was.

• 55:48Sam Morril?

  Castle Hall of Fame, baby.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, really. That was a rough weekend.

• 55:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that that one?

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that is brutal.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  They've had a little curtain for your green room.

• 55:58Mark Normand?

  Mm hmm.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  Next to the most blasting music ever. I brought Evan Williams with me. This is probably like 2017. And just.

• 56:06Sam Morril?

  And no one comes out. That's the other thing. I remember Di Stefano did a, he was there the night his special came out and there was like 14 people in the. He sent me the picture. He was like, I'm, my special is out right now. And I was like, oh, my God.

• 56:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was.

• 56:20Sam Morril?

  It was rough.

• 56:21Speaker 02

  How do they even stay open?

• 56:23Speaker 01

  It's a part of the casino.

• 56:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's a write off for them.

• 56:26Mark Normand?

  An afterthought.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Yo, every.

• 56:28Sam Morril?

  And that's not a fucking happy casino.

• 56:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 56:31Sam Morril?

  Springfield, Missouri, because it's a lot of tweakers in that casino.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's kind of scary around there.

• 56:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Mark Normand?

  Worcester's bad too. Worcester's a casino.

• 56:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 56:39Mark Normand?

  It's very fentanyl-y.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  Damn. I know. There's some really shit.

• 56:44Mark Normand?

  Casinos are already sad. So when you're like.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  Have you done casinos?

• 56:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I just, we just did a casino. Good money.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  As soon as you opened for me at Caesar's.

• 56:52Sam Morril?

  They get better though as you get, as you get an audience.

• 56:54Mark Normand?

  I did the win.

• 56:55Sam Morril?

  Vegas.

• 56:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, the win.

• 56:56Sam Morril?

  The win is cool.

• 56:57Mark Normand?

  The win I like.

• 56:58Sam Morril?

  Shout out Dylan. I love the win. Yeah, dude, the, I used to hate casinos, but like, once you get your people, it's not as bad.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  Do you gamble?

• 57:07Sam Morril?

  Eh, a little. I, I know, winning never feels as good as, losing feels bad. So I just don't.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Nick is really good at blackjack.

• 57:14Sam Morril?

  Are you?

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'll do it sometimes.

• 57:17Mark Normand?

  Finally somebody he's actually good at.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Actually, Nick is shockingly, it's shocking what he's good at and then shocking what he's wildly delusional.

• 57:25Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 57:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah. What are the, give me the actual good.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Well, he's actually really athletic.

• 57:29Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 57:30Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  He actually is.

• 57:32Sam Morril?

  What sports?

• 57:32Mark Normand?

  What are we talking here?

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Even everything from like volleyball. When we were playing basketball, you were good.

• 57:38Sam Morril?

  He's a spiker, yeah.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  He's got, yeah.

• 57:40Mark Normand?

  Bowling?

• 57:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's really random things I'll be good at. Bowling, badminton.

• 57:44Speaker 01

  Really good at gambling, really good at numbers, really good at games, like card games and stuff. We play combio in our crew. Nick is really, really good at.

• 57:52Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  Do you gamble if you go?

• 57:55Mark Normand?

  Not really. I never win. So I just stop. But I like sitting at the table.

• 57:58Sam Morril?

  You play blackjack?

• 57:59Mark Normand?

  A little, but I'm horrible.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Count that fast.

• 58:02Mark Normand?

  Same. And I got the fat guy with the hockey jersey like, come on, you're hitting on that? What are you doing? And I'm like, I'm sorry.

• 58:07Sam Morril?

  Well, you're actually that, you're the guy at the table that would make me crazy because the guy, the guy who doesn't know what to do, you fuck up the whole deck.

• 58:13Mark Normand?

  I know. And I'm just trying to play.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  Kind of me. And I got in Vegas one time yelled at by the guy, but I don't care. And I just started yelling back at him and I was like, I don't give a shit.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  You're either lucky or you're not lucky. I'm taking the card.

• 58:28Sam Morril?

  It is ultimately.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  All the time.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  And then they. And they're like, I'm yelling at me.

• 58:32Mark Normand?

  Look at the arms on this guy. I wouldn't fuck with him.

• 58:34Speaker 01

  He got, well, he wears this like Crellaville coat around. Got fights in Chipotle, got fights. Got fights and Nick is always fighting.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Our fans.

• 58:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, no. Be careful. Don't, don't do the comments.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  On purpose.

• 58:47Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  Well, no, the comments I love.

• 58:49Sam Morril?

  Do you guys tour together?

• 58:51Speaker 01

  Uh, Nick will come up and bring on a couple of dates. Yeah.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. Or we'll do sometimes out of town, like live podcast gigs.

• 58:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, cool.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Fun.

• 58:58Mark Normand?

  So when you open, do you do a like stand up?

• 59:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's been doing this for a couple of years now.

• 59:02Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  I'm going on my first tour in February.

• 59:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, my God.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  And I'm doing Zany's in Chicago in November if you guys are.

• 59:10Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 59:10Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 59:11Sam Morril?

  Classic.

• 59:11Mark Normand?

  Camera B.

• 59:12Speaker 02

  Part of the comedy festival there, the. I should know. 312.

• 59:17Speaker 01

  My whole family is coming.

• 59:18Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  And they invited you over to my aunt Cindy's house if you want pasta.

• 59:21Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 59:22Speaker 02

  There we go.

• 59:23Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  You and my aunt Cindy, they're obsessed with you.

• 59:26Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah. I love your family, dude. You know what's crazy? I was at a, at a like coffee spot outside the hotel in Warsaw. And the manager, Ryan's father from Zany's, he's just starts talking to me, not knowing I'm a comedian. He's just like, oh, what are you doing in town? I was like, oh, you know, just some work stuff. He pulls out to me that I'm doing a show and he goes, my son runs a Zany's. And I was like, I've played Zany's a million times, but it ends up coming to one of the shows.

• 59:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, cool.

• 59:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah. But, uh, wow. Yeah. It was a kid. I'm like, he's like, oh, I'm going to Copenhagen. I was like, I'll leave you tickets.

• 59:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Were you around for the Burt Haas days?

• 1:00:01Sam Morril?

  Of course.

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  Is he not there anymore?

• 1:00:02Mark Normand?

  You're joking? I think he's, he's done, right?

• 1:00:04Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 1:00:04Mark Normand?

  Thank God.

• 1:00:05Sam Morril?

  He was hated, right?

• 1:00:06Mark Normand?

  He hated me. He chewed me out publicly in front of all the other comics.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Why would he chew you out? Cause he chewed a lot of people out. He also hated me too. So I have a story.

• 1:00:13Mark Normand?

  Great. I got a story too.

• 1:00:14Sam Morril?

  So this guy ran Zany's for people that don't know. It was a, a small club in Chicago, but a great club.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  Great club.

• 1:00:19Sam Morril?

  Classic. If you go, if you go there, the headshots are like, it's like a museum.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  It is.

• 1:00:24Sam Morril?

  It's crazy.

• 1:00:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 1:00:25Mark Normand?

  So he would run a thing where he's like, come to the club early. We'll look at your headshot and your resume and all that.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  You sit and listen to that hour speech?

• 1:00:33Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  You did that?

• 1:00:34Mark Normand?

  I, it was so green.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Unlike Star Search Night, remember they called it?

• 1:00:38Mark Normand?

  Uh, yeah. And I was, I was in Chicago with my girlfriend at the time. We just went on a trip to Chicago and I was trying to be a comedian. And I heard about this thing. So I was like, all right, I'm going to go down there and you sit in a circle and he gives you a little, a little speech. And then he says, maybe you'll get on. And I was like, oh my God, this is exciting. So I go there and I kept hearing, don't be late, don't be late. Okay. So I get there, it's like five or four and I get there and it's like 3:58, 3:57. So I'm like, all right, I'm right on time. Door's locked. Huh? What the hell? Looking in there. Hello? Nothing. Doorbell. Nothing, nothing. I go around the back. Shaking the door. Nothing. Eventually some crazy old waitress with a cigarette is like, can I help you? And I'm like, I'm here for the Burt Haas thing. And she's like, oh, baby. It's 401.

• 1:01:21Mark Normand?

  And I'm like, what? All right. I'm, I was on time, whatever. She goes, you better get up there. So I get up there and he's mid speech. And there's all these comics around, like in a cir-, a semi circle. And he's like, huh? And I'm like, oh, sorry, I'm here. And he goes, you think you can be late to this? You're never gonna make it in this town. You're a fucking loser. This is the problem with comedians. They're all pieces of shit. And he goes, where's your headshot? I'm like, oh, I don't have a headshot. He's like, and you don't have a headshot? You'll never work in this town again. Get the hell out of here.

• 1:01:48Sam Morril?

  Meanwhile, you probably have like five headshots in that club right now.

• 1:01:51Mark Normand?

  I know. So I was like, I left my tail between my legs. I walked around. I was like at the verge of tears.

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  You stay?

• 1:01:57Mark Normand?

  No, he kicked me out of there. He made an example out of me.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  He got into a fight with my old agent. This is in like 2013. And so I fight about not even really me. And then he was like, well, then Mateo's never working Zany's again. So for years I couldn't work my own home club.

• 1:02:12Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  So I would work, thank God, the Lincoln Lodge, which I love. And I would do so many shows at the Lincoln Lodge. And then by the time I came back to Zany's to work out new material, I had her down the Chicago Theater, Burt.

• 1:02:23Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  But it was like, God, you're such a, he was so, and he, I had to do the same thing. You sit there. He gives you this hour speech.

• 1:02:29Sam Morril?

  How did I never have to sit through that shit?

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  There was some good stuff about it.

• 1:02:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:02:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, you know, you're a young comic and you want to learn. And so I like that, like there's someone telling you about their side of comedy. I didn't understand booking. I didn't understand clubs. Like there was a lot of benefit to that, but he was way too unfair.

• 1:02:45Sam Morril?

  But those dudes were obsessed. Those dudes were always obsessed with their own, the sound of their own voice, their power. There was a guy named Tom Sobel who did this to me and embarrassed me in front of everyone. I did this festival in Asheville and I did well. And I got off stage and he goes, see this comedian made an example of me. He did really well, but he holds his mic up here. He goes, if you want to do comedy, you want it down here. So everyone can see your face. And he's just trying, and by the way, the guy's like a coke head. I had a fucking business.

• 1:03:13Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:03:14Sam Morril?

  But he just had to like, he couldn't have pulled me aside and said, he was jealous. He wanted to make a show of it all. Yeah.

• 1:03:18Mark Normand?

  It's a power thing for those guys. But here's the thing, you know, you work, you go back to New York, you're working way up at the ranks, open mics, the creek, all this shit. One day I headlined Zany's and I remember flying there like, oh, is that guy gonna be there? Oh geez, I wonder, I wonder if he remembers me, whatever. I get to the club, we sold some tickets and I walk in and Burt's like, hey, put it there. I'm Burt. And I'm like, hey.

• 1:03:40Sam Morril?

  Did you confront him?

• 1:03:41Mark Normand?

  No, I felt like Jean Valjean, like, uh, Jean Ver, forgot. He forgot that I was this piece of shit. And, uh, he was like, thanks. It was a great weekend.

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  That time too.

• 1:03:51Sam Morril?

  And you were stolen bread from the club earlier.

• 1:03:55Mark Normand?

  But he never remembered. And I just, I just said, fuck it and let it fly.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Because you know, in that moment, it's like, it doesn't matter.

• 1:04:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah. The war's over.

• 1:04:02Mark Normand?

  The war's over and I won by headlining.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  But you know, maybe it's, I don't know, maybe some of that stuff, there's some good in it too, you know? Cause you remember it. You're not everything that it was so easy.

• 1:04:10Sam Morril?

  He shows up to your show at 8:01, you're like, get the fuck out.

• 1:04:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But that's the thing with young co-, I feel like that would happen. They would go on Instagram and go, I just got kicked out by this fucking asshole, da, da, da. But back in the day, I just took it.

• 1:04:22Sam Morril?

  By the way, that, that is a fucking epidemic.

• 1:04:24Mark Normand?

  It really is.

• 1:04:25Sam Morril?

  People who like, you know.

• 1:04:26Mark Normand?

  That impulse to go public with everything.

• 1:04:28Sam Morril?

  But yeah, but it's, you're doing it not even if, whatever happened to just settling shit like?

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  I know. Everything has to be public now. I know.

• 1:04:36Sam Morril?

  Because it's currency. You get clicks and you're just like, you know.

• 1:04:39Mark Normand?

  And you get go girl or whatever, you know, people like root for you, but yeah.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't engage.

• 1:04:45Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:04:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  But also, what do you guys think of like really young comics, you know, like a year or two in posting their stuff online?

• 1:04:53Mark Normand?

  I think it's short money. Wait, anonymity is a gift.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Mark Normand?

  Go get good.

• 1:04:57Sam Morril?

  It's tough because you need to work and they're, I think some of them are trying to get more work so they can get better. But then some of them, it's like, yeah, it's probably like putting your first audition tape on YouTube if you're a fucking, you know, great actor.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  I really see, I do see both. Like, things are changing. We have to change. Yeah. And we were a wave of changing that.

• 1:05:16Sam Morril?

  I would pull, like if I'm, I have some VHS tapes from my old, back in the day from like the comic strip. I'm like, oh my God.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  What are you, Ronnie Adams watching yourself?

• 1:05:26Sam Morril?

  But, uh, yeah, I'm so glad they're not out there.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Sam Morril?

  Cause I wasn't good.

• 1:05:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:31Sam Morril?

  I mean, that's okay. It's.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  It's okay. I mean, I remember like, uh.

• 1:05:35Sam Morril?

  But you would send those to clubs, but they weren't online. I think a private link would maybe be better.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Sam Morril?

  But yeah, they're trying to build an audience.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  Like I watch them. Part of me thinks like, oh, you should like, wait till like, you're fully formed and this might stunt your growth as an artist and that. But then I'm also like, well, I think times have also changed. So maybe that's just the way it is now. But I, I, cause obviously we can post. Cause we have 18 some years of doing it.

• 1:05:57Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:05:58Sam Morril?

  But some people blow up just talking to the phone, like face to camera shit.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Which I think Nick should do, by the way, because he's naturally funny. He's, he has an opinion. He calls me nine times a day about celebrity gossip. I know none of it.

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  Me calling.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  And it's like, and it's like, Nick, you would be so funny. A lot of people would love to hear pop culture stuff from you. They would love it.

• 1:06:18Mark Normand?

  You should be doing that.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  And his act is really good.

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  It's actually very, very good.

• 1:06:23Sam Morril?

  I'm excited to see it.

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  Oh no, it's great. It's great.

• 1:06:25Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  But you should do that, Nick.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  If Mark says so, I will.

• 1:06:31Mark Normand?

  You're built for this. Opinionated, well, not physically.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  Can't hold the phone.

• 1:06:37Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  If I got the shakes, but.

• 1:06:39Mark Normand?

  But no, I get it too. And you get, you know, you get a dopamine hit. Hey, this, it's got a couple of views and maybe you can find your voice online. See what works best and what doesn't. So yeah, I get it. And you know, you don't want to be the boomer yelling at the cloud like these kids today. So.

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:06:52Sam Morril?

  You know, I, I get it. I totally get why they do it. They're trying to get work. Like that's how you get seen. I mean, think about it. Like we did it with open mics. You hope someone would see you at an open mic. You hope someone would see you. So you, you're hoping comics see you're funny too. So I totally get why they do it.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do too.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  It's complicated. Cause like, he would say back in the day, the shows that you were talking about, like those were the shows to get on, right? Those don't really exist anymore.

• 1:07:14Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  And people aren't going to shows to see people. They're just going to your Instagram and watching your clips. So if you don't have clips on your Instagram, they're not going to book you for your show.

• 1:07:22Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  They're not going to shows to see you.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's a catch 22. I get it. I mean, look, I, that's what I'm saying. I'm open to, I'm open to, things has changed. They changed. I mean, look, we were, we came in and did things differently than the generation before us. I'm sure they were like, you don't do it that way.

• 1:07:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  You gotta wait around the club till 2:00 AM till they'll give you a five minutes. And then you're getting like, I'm just gonna go do it at the creek.

• 1:07:42Sam Morril?

  But shit, but then at the same time, there's so much stuff out there that you're like, what does a clip even mean anymore?

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:07:48Sam Morril?

  It's all so just, you know, it's just gone. It's gone.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. What was a question for you? When you all did like Comedy Central, half hour, 15 or whatever, like one of your first big filmed gigs. When you filmed that material and they released it, did you still do that material at the clubs and on the road? Or were you like, okay, I'm done with that now?

• 1:08:09Sam Morril?

  You wean off it.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. You kind of just.

• 1:08:11Sam Morril?

  You do it at your pace.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  Cause you still, you did it fairly early.

• 1:08:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  So it's like.

• 1:08:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Well, I think 14 people watched our half hour Comedy Central special. So I was like, I could do it now. I could tell those jokes today. And people were like, whoa, whoa, what's that one from?

• 1:08:25Mark Normand?

  But in my dumb head, I was like, everybody's seen it. I can't do this. But yeah, 10 people watched it.

• 1:08:30Sam Morril?

  But you, but you know, we did a kind of similar trajectory, the half hour, and then we did the hour. And it was, I remember it was like, yeah. We would write together all the time. And it was like that thing where you're like, yeah, you try to wean off it. You do what you have to to survive on the road in these papered rooms where not everyone was there to see you. But then you slip it in as quickly as you can. You're like, oh, feels, you're like cutting one joke at a time, right?

• 1:08:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Sam Morril?

  That's what it felt like.

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  There was this comic in LA. She had this viral joke from like a news appearance or something.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  We did it.

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she talks about it today and she has an interesting take on it where she was saying before, if you add a viral joke or something, you sort of stop doing it live. Cause it's burned, yada, yada. And she was like, and now it's switched to almost like going to a concert for singers. Where the audience there is waiting for you to do that joke.

• 1:09:21Mark Normand?

  Ah, yes.

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  They recognize that joke. So she was like, I'll be doing my set. I know that they're waiting for me to say my JonBenet Ramsey bit. I know they're waiting for it.

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  It's like the Bar Simpson. I didn't do it.

• 1:09:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. That is.

• 1:09:34Sam Morril?

  Just say the line. Just say the line, kid.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  I didn't do it. Yeah. Only I may do the dance.

• 1:09:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, my wife is obsessed with this guy Noah, Noah Khan. You know, the singer?

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Mm-mm. No.

• 1:09:48Mark Normand?

  Well, he's huge. He does Shea Stadium and all these places and uh.

• 1:09:52Sam Morril?

  Citi Field.

• 1:09:53Mark Normand?

  Citi Field. Thank you. This guy. All the women love him.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  How many likes a bow?

• 1:09:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's. No, he's Jewish.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:09:59Mark Normand?

  But uh, big star, big guy, but I, I had to watch his documentary because she liked him so much. And he's like, yeah, you know, and he's on TikTok like, they show him struggling and he's like, I've been at this two years. I don't know when, when it's gonna break. And then, you know, he blew up a year later or whatever. And you're like, that's, that's the difference now.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  Two years?

• 1:10:19Mark Normand?

  He was playing guitar on TikTok and just started gaining fans, gaining fans. And after like four years, he was doing theaters.

• 1:10:25Sam Morril?

  So what the fuck do we know? Like that's.

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  I know. We don't know. That's what I'm saying. It's like, you know, well, we're participating in a game that we, you know, started early on, but I think.

• 1:10:35Sam Morril?

  There's benefits though, because if you blow up, you can grow. But then also like, I, I love, I remember Mike Di Stefano, R I P Mike. Uh, I used to see him go up at like Ha Comedy Club.

• 1:10:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:44Sam Morril?

  And he would do like, every night there, you could see like, and get up like four nights, four nights, four times a night here. And it was like, yeah, I like bombing in the shadows. I like that I can grow here. I like that no one here matters to me. These are all tourists and I'm never gonna see them again.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  LOL.

• 1:10:57Sam Morril?

  And I can be a LOL. Was that like that? But like, dude, I love that about like the comic strip or LOL or any of these clubs. I could just like fucking.

• 1:11:04Mark Normand?

  No stakes.

• 1:11:05Sam Morril?

  No stakes. I, I can fail.

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  You need to release the, the straitjacket.

• 1:11:09Sam Morril?

  Mm-hmm. Some, but then some guys just show up fully formed. Like I think like Michael Che showed up kind of fully formed.

• 1:11:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:15Sam Morril?

  It was like, I had, I had to fall face forward a lot to figure myself out.

• 1:11:19Mark Normand?

  I still fall face forward.

• 1:11:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah. But I feel like Che showed up and I was like, yeah, he just kinda knows who he is. But he also started later than us.

• 1:11:26Mark Normand?

  True.

• 1:11:26Sam Morril?

  He was older as a comic. So I think he had more confidence in what kind of person he was.

• 1:11:30Mark Normand?

  Like Nick.

• 1:11:31Sam Morril?

  But yeah, but like I, I was like 18 when I started. So I was like, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know who the fuck I am.

• 1:11:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:36Sam Morril?

  You know, you're talking about like, my first jokes were about like class.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Fran Lebowitz always says, uh, she was like, Fran Lebowitz made a great point about writers, you know, we're writers essentially. And she was like, she was like, yeah, you see prodigy and acting and music and sports you do not see in writing, because in writing, you have to know something.

• 1:11:54Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  And I was like, that's actually really very.

• 1:11:56Sam Morril?

  Well, most of the best comics hit their prime in their 40s, right? Or whatever.

• 1:12:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  So it's all downhill for us.

• 1:12:03Sam Morril?

  Or it's, you know, there's a couple of exceptions like Eddie Murphy, right? But for the most part, it's.

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  But do I sound like an old man shaking my hat? I'm trying.

• 1:12:09Mark Normand?

  No, no, no.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  Cause I'm saying I get it. I'm just saying, yeah, I don't wanna resist it. I'm like, if this is the way it moves, it's the way it moves, but.

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  Was Michelle Wolf a great writer just from the get-go?

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  Michelle was good, pretty quick.

• 1:12:20Sam Morril?

  Michelle was, Michelle, day one. Michelle was like Che. She was also a little older when she started and she was, I think, fully formed.

• 1:12:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, a workhorse. She was riding, riding, riding all the time.

• 1:12:29Sam Morril?

  Totally different energies.

• 1:12:31Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 1:12:31Sam Morril?

  Michelle had like a sense of urgency and Che was just kinda like chill.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  She was on one of my first shows in New York. Her and I would used to do the Grisly pair together.

• 1:12:38Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  Open mics at the Grisly pair at 4:00 PM.

• 1:12:41Mark Normand?

  How you guys doing? I don't know if I.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  She, she was so sweet. I just hung out with her in Barcelona and she came and did some time on my show. It was so nice to catch up with her. I fucking love Michelle.

• 1:12:53Sam Morril?

  I missed her in Lisbon, but like a couple hours.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  She's also somebody like, if you're ever struggling, you know, when you're like thinking out a joke and you're like, weird, this needs to go in another direction. I'm stuck. You text Michelle Wolf, I'm like, within seconds, 50 jokes.

• 1:13:05Mark Normand?

  I know. She's so good at angles. Like she has that face to camera stuff where she does, I'm like, oh, how'd we miss that about Trump or that about Elon Musk? It's always some great take that no one thought of.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  She's like the wolf in Pulp Fiction. Like Call the Wolf.

• 1:13:18Mark Normand?

  Call the Wolf.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, fix it.

• 1:13:20Sam Morril?

  Do you know, have you ever met Michelle Wolf, Nick?

• 1:13:22Speaker 02

  I think once maybe with you, but very briefly.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  She's amazing. She's an amazing writer.

• 1:13:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I did a room in Barcelona, uh, and she's, she's like a god over there.

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Mark Normand?

  Uh, it was really cool. Great room. Wish I knew the name of it.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  I think, I think I did it once. It was like an Irish bar.

• 1:13:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, downstairs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was really cool.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  Can I ask about peeves? Did they set you up and let you know that we do?

• 1:13:45Sam Morril?

  I gotta peeve. Yeah, if anything that just annoys you guys, I'll, I'll give you one.

• 1:13:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  I thought you were.

• 1:13:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I, yeah, I was on a flight and this annoys me when you're on your ground for like ever, and then you finally take off and you have to piss. And the, and the flight attendant's like, sit down, sir. And I was like, it's, it's, we're stable. You gotta let me, I gotta pee. It's been a long time. And she's like, it's not safe. And I was like, well, you're standing.

• 1:14:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:10Sam Morril?

  And you're old.

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:12Sam Morril?

  Why do you get to stand?

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  It's not like you stand better. Yeah. When I see someone standing, uh, the second a flight attendant stands up, then I'm like, I'm gonna go pee. Cause I have to pee all the time too.

• 1:14:22Sam Morril?

  I think if they're standing, I should be allowed to stand. And I'm also literally, I'm just gonna pee and run back to my seat.

• 1:14:26Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:14:27Sam Morril?

  I'm not trying to make a scene. I'm not the guy who got fucking duct taped. Yeah.

• 1:14:30Mark Normand?

  That motherfucker's not real.

• 1:14:32Sam Morril?

  That duct tape guy?

• 1:14:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:34Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that was hysterical.

• 1:14:36Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  That was great.

• 1:14:38Mark Normand?

  That and the Mitch McConnell.

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  What? He, it looks in, not even that.

• 1:14:42Speaker 02

  What in the sack of potatoes?

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:14:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, look at that. That's, duct tape is very, very efficient. But yeah, Mitch McConnell looked like me when I saw the Sydney Sweeney ad.

• 1:14:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah. What peeves you guys got?

• 1:14:55Mark Normand?

  How about this one? You get the guy who you ask, you know, you know, uh, shot JFK? And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's, and I go, Jack Ruby. He goes, yeah, yeah, Jack Ruby. Like you didn't know. When they, they pretend to know.

• 1:15:10Sam Morril?

  He shot the guy.

• 1:15:11Mark Normand?

  Sorry. Um, what's his name? Hoover? No.

• 1:15:15Speaker 02

  President?

• 1:15:15Sam Morril?

  Why am I forgetting his name right now?

• 1:15:16Mark Normand?

  I'm forgetting his name too. Oswald.

• 1:15:18Sam Morril?

  Oswald. Yeah, he shot Oswald.

• 1:15:19Mark Normand?

  I got the wrong guy.

• 1:15:20Speaker 02

  Who shot Nixon for Jodie Foster? What was his name?

• 1:15:24Sam Morril?

  Was it Nixon? It was uh.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  Who shot, who tried getting, who tried getting to Reagan.

• 1:15:29Mark Normand?

  Hinkley.

• 1:15:29Speaker 02

  Hinkley.

• 1:15:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But yeah, you go, who shot?

• 1:15:32Sam Morril?

  Brady. That's the Brady, that's where Brady act comes from. He shot his guy Brady.

• 1:15:35Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  It was for Jodie Foster.

• 1:15:38Mark Normand?

  I know. Kinda flattering.

• 1:15:40Sam Morril?

  I love Jodie. Maybe a part of it was like, I am kind of impressed.

• 1:15:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:44Sam Morril?

  On some level.

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  I feel like it was following the taxi driver thing.

• 1:15:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's completely.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  Cause she was like 12 in it.

• 1:15:51Speaker 01

  She was like 14. Yeah, she was young.

• 1:15:52Sam Morril?

  Isn't it crazy? You make this like brilliant piece of art in Taxi Driver and then a guy, he's fucking inspired to do that by it?

• 1:15:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah. A guy got killed, uh, what's that movie made? Patch, Temptation of Christ.

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 1:16:05Speaker 04

  Passion of the Christ?

• 1:16:06Sam Morril?

  Jesus, he got killed for it. Yeah.

• 1:16:08Mark Normand?

  No, they, uh, a guy got killed at a theater because of the movie. It was a big deal back then.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:16:12Mark Normand?

  It was like a religious nut. He was like, you gotta shut this theater down. This is sacrilegious. And he killed somebody.

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:16:18Mark Normand?

  Pull it up. I know. Yeah. But yeah, when the guy clearly doesn't know, you say the answer, then he goes, oh yeah, that's it. Like, you didn't know. That annoyed me.

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  Pet peeve of mine, when you're on the road and you know, you have to order food, like there's no food around.

• 1:16:34Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:34Speaker 01

  And like you're in the middle of nowhere and you order food and it has no plastic fork or knife.

• 1:16:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, that happened to me recently.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  And I'm just like, okay, so then I'm just eating it with my hands in my bed. Like I'm some sort of like hunt on survivor or something.

• 1:16:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:49Speaker 01

  I'm like, you know, I don't know. That would be nice. Like when I'm in the middle of Ohio and there's no restaurants in sight. I'm like, I just, I just needed a fork to eat my dinner.

• 1:16:57Mark Normand?

  And you get creative. You're like, let me use a coffee stirrer and a pen. Yeah, you figure it out.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:03Mark Normand?

  Uh, how about this guy? This is another peeve. The guy, it's just you and me. We're in a hotel room, playing video games.

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:17:10Mark Normand?

  And uh, you go, uh, hey, you hungry? And you go, me?

• 1:17:15Mark Normand?

  Just me and you. You get rid of the guy who just says me? And I'm like, who? There's no one here.

• 1:17:19Speaker 01

  I, no, another pet peeve when you tell someone like, uh, they go, have you ever seen such and such a movie? I go, no. And they go, you've never seen such and such a movie?

• 1:17:27Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:17:28Speaker 01

  I'm like, well, I don't.

• 1:17:29Sam Morril?

  There's a lot of movies out there.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  And I can't go back in time and be like, actually, yes. Like, no, I'm not. Why would we have to, instead of something else? You're not that shocked that I've not seen it.

• 1:17:39Mark Normand?

  Remember when I said I hadn't seen it? Let's go with that one. Why do I have to say it again?

• 1:17:43Speaker 04

  Sam, have you ever had a girlfriend or had a dog and then the dog jumps in the bed during sex?

• 1:17:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, sometimes they join in, you know?

• 1:17:52Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 1:17:52Speaker 01

  Jeez.

• 1:17:53Mark Normand?

  Doggy style.

• 1:17:53Sam Morril?

  Uh, no, luckily that dog couldn't get very high on the bed.

• 1:17:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:00Sam Morril?

  Good old winner. It was good winging.

• 1:18:02Mark Normand?

  Winnie?

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  Is Winnie?

• 1:18:03Sam Morril?

  No, still going strong.

• 1:18:04Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Still going.

• 1:18:05Sam Morril?

  So, far as I know, still going strong.

• 1:18:08Mark Normand?

  Fucking, uh, what's his face? Keith Richards.

• 1:18:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, legend.

• 1:18:11Mark Normand?

  Legend. Won't die.

• 1:18:12Sam Morril?

  You got a peeve?

• 1:18:13Mark Normand?

  That's McConnell.

• 1:18:14Speaker 02

  I have a lot of them. Probably Chipotle, cause I go every day.

• 1:18:17Mark Normand?

  I love Chipotle.

• 1:18:18Speaker 02

  I go every day.

• 1:18:19Mark Normand?

  Come on, with that physique?

• 1:18:20Speaker 02

  They start ranking. Do you have the app?

• 1:18:23Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:18:23Speaker 02

  You get the points? Mark, what are you doing here?

• 1:18:25Mark Normand?

  I can't sign up for things. I've, I've got too many apps.

• 1:18:27Sam Morril?

  That's another peeve. An app for everything. Enough apps.

• 1:18:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you get the points, Sam.

• 1:18:31Sam Morril?

  I do like points, but I hate apps. I hate downloading shit.

• 1:18:34Speaker 02

  They recently ranked on the app, it like told you.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  You're in the top blank percentage of customers or how many times you've visited.

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  You're number one.

• 1:18:45Speaker 02

  For nationwide, what percentage of the top blank percent do you think I was in?

• 1:18:49Speaker 01

  Top ten.

• 1:18:50Speaker 02

  Nationwide.

• 1:18:51Speaker 01

  Top ten.

• 1:18:52Speaker 02

  Three percent?

• 1:18:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:53Mark Normand?

  I'll say eight.

• 1:18:56Speaker 01

  I would say ten percent.

• 1:18:57Speaker 02

  Top point oh one percent.

• 1:18:59Mark Normand?

  Whoa, you're a one percenter. Holy shit. How does that work?

• 1:19:05Speaker 02

  I don't know. I must have taken out a mortgage to pay for Chipotle. I go, I'm not kidding. I go every day.

• 1:19:10Mark Normand?

  Do you have a bidet? Cause the shits from Chipotle are pretty wild.

• 1:19:15Speaker 02

  A bowl. So this is my pet peeve. Stop with the skimpy portions.

• 1:19:20Mark Normand?

  I'm with you, Fanny.

• 1:19:21Speaker 02

  You're working minimum wage. You're not getting like, fuck the man. They're screwing you over. You don't have to screw us over.

• 1:19:29Mark Normand?

  And you know what?

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  I shouldn't have to ask for extra everything.

• 1:19:31Mark Normand?

  I'm with you and I'll say this. I don't like sour cream.

• 1:19:34Speaker 02

  I don't either.

• 1:19:35Mark Normand?

  Okay, so I get everything else, but the sour cream, when you do get it, they scoop that fucker on like they're trying to drown it.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  Too much.

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  I do that with corn. I'm always like, just a little corn. They just take the bucket and fucking dump it on it.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  But then the chicken, it's three, three cubes. I always, okay, this is, it's not a pet peeve, but I always ask if it's okay. Like I'm not on a busy day, but I do have that thing where cilantro tastes like soap.

• 1:20:00Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  Like really ruins it. I eat it and it's, it's, it's awful. So you can say, is it possible that I could get the rice without cilantro? They'll do it.

• 1:20:11Mark Normand?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cause they have a whole thing of white rice ready to go before they put in the cilantro and it makes the meal so much better. Otherwise the whole thing just tastes like soap. Like you just taste one bite of cilantro, like, ugh, the meal's ruined.

• 1:20:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah, cilantro does nothing for me. It's like whatever.

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

  I have another pet peeve, New York related.

• 1:20:29Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  Cab drivers. We've lost, we've lost the, um, what's the right word?

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  The art?

• 1:20:37Speaker 02

  The art of cab driving. I have been in several yellow cabs lately because they were available. I go and I say where I'm going and they type it into their phone.

• 1:20:45Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  You are a cab. This is not Uber.

• 1:20:48Sam Morril?

  When they measure the shot of a cocktail.

• 1:20:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:50Sam Morril?

  I just, I want you to do it with a little fucking.

• 1:20:52Mark Normand?

  I need a pro here.

• 1:20:53Speaker 02

  Pizzazz. I want to get in a cab, say here, and you get me there barely.

• 1:20:58Mark Normand?

  Yes. Cigarette hanging out of the mouth, go too fast, break those feet a little bit. Yeah.

• 1:21:03Speaker 01

  I used to take cabs all the time when I lived in the Upper East Side after the cellar. Remember you used to wait outside?

• 1:21:08Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  It was a weekend. I would take a cab up and.

• 1:21:10Mark Normand?

  I did the same thing.

• 1:21:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was great.

• 1:21:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, you're right. That's a good one. Although I got in a cab in Regina, Canada.

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  Excuse you?

• 1:21:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I know. That's the name of it. It was right in the clit. And I got a, they got me a cab to the airport because I guess they don't have Uber there. And I mean, this guy, the car was fucked up. It was, there was trash in it. He smelled like hell on earth. And you know, I don't know where he was from, but we, we took forever to get there. He went to the wrong gate. I mean, it was brutal. I was like, give me an Uber when I get back home. So you start to realize like, oh, maybe cabs are on the way out.

• 1:21:46Speaker 01

  It's weird. I know. New York is changing.

• 1:21:50Sam Morril?

  Changing.

• 1:21:50Mark Normand?

  It is.

• 1:21:51Sam Morril?

  Well, plug some dates.

• 1:21:52Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:21:53Speaker 01

  Air plugs. So our podcast, I never liked you. Uh, you can find it anywhere.

• 1:21:58Sam Morril?

  Two weeks?

• 1:22:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah. There you go.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  Great. Oh, look, I look great.

• 1:22:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 1:22:04Speaker 01

  Um, uh.

• 1:22:07Mark Normand?

  Look at that hunk of meat.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  That was in Spain.

• 1:22:10Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:22:10Speaker 01

  That was in, that was in, uh. Yes, I'll be Munich, Athens. I'll be, uh, Rome, Denver. Oh, we added a second show to Denver Paramount Theater. So please come.

• 1:22:21Mark Normand?

  Great theater.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  Pittsburgh, October 15th, Stanford, Connecticut, October 22nd.

• 1:22:25Mark Normand?

  Carnegie Music Hall.

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:22:28Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, coming to Montreal, Ottawa. Yeah, I'm doing it. MontrealComedy.com.

• 1:22:33Mark Normand?

  Where are you at on your hour? Have you got a new hour? Is it?

• 1:22:36Speaker 01

  I'm in the, I'm in the middle of the tour with this hour.

• 1:22:39Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 1:22:39Speaker 01

  Started in September of last year. It will end May of next year.

• 1:22:44Mark Normand?

  Okay. And then you tape maybe?

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  Well, you know, I asked and guess who says no?

• 1:22:49Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, they said no.

• 1:22:51Mark Normand?

  That is wild.

• 1:22:52Sam Morril?

  I'm sorry.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  Just months and months and months of them being like, well, we're thinking about it.

• 1:22:56Mark Normand?

  I bet they come around.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  And they, Mark.

• 1:22:58Mark Normand?

  I got a feeling.

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  Mark.

• 1:23:00Mark Normand?

  They gave Joe DeRosa one. Like, come on.

• 1:23:02Speaker 01

  They acquired it.

• 1:23:03Mark Normand?

  They acquired it. Like if you did it yourself, ah, we'll talk later.

• 1:23:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, we'll talk later.

• 1:23:08Sam Morril?

  We'll talk later.

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  And the podcast.

• 1:23:10Mark Normand?

  And the podcast.

• 1:23:11Speaker 02

  I never liked you.

• 1:23:13Speaker 01

  Nick, tell them about your tour.

• 1:23:14Speaker 02

  Well, the tour hasn't been announced yet, but it'll be in February and March in the coastal cities.

• 1:23:18Mark Normand?

  In Chicago.

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  And then Chicago is in November. You can get tickets.

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  And where can they get tickets?

• 1:23:22Speaker 02

  Uh, at my Linktree because my website hasn't launched yet either.

• 1:23:27Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:23:29Speaker 02

  Or just go to Zany's Chicago.

• 1:23:30Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:23:31Speaker 01

  Mark, I can't wait for your hair to grow in. Can I see what?

• 1:23:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:36Speaker 01

  Can I move it?

• 1:23:37Mark Normand?

  Let it touch it.

• 1:23:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. They're gonna, I love the crunchy.

• 1:23:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's crunchy.

• 1:23:41Speaker 01

  It looks so good.

• 1:23:42Mark Normand?

  And it's numb. Do you have that? It was kind of numb feeling? Okay. It's very strange.

• 1:23:46Speaker 02

  Who picked you up from surgery?

• 1:23:47Mark Normand?

  The wife. It was like an abortion.

• 1:23:48Speaker 01

  My wife.

• 1:23:49Speaker 02

  His wife.

• 1:23:49Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God. Oh, uh.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Twenty-seventh.

• 1:23:52Sam Morril?

  My wife. Seventh. Oh yeah. Started November. Yeah. By the way, special, uh, September 29th, Netflix, please watch that. Incorrect. So it's out in two days. Uh, Phoenix, November 13th through 15th, Pittsburgh, 19th through 21st, Cleveland, December 3rd through 5th. Uh, Madison, December 10th through 12th, and then, uh, Maryland, uh, the following weekend, Timonium, Maryland, yeah, West Palm, all that shit. So, uh, Miami, all over, building back up.

• 1:24:25Mark Normand?

  Gotta build.

• 1:24:25Sam Morril?

  Gotta build new jokes, man. It's fucking hard, but we'll get there.

• 1:24:29Mark Normand?

  We'll get there. Comedy Works, Denver, one of the great clubs.

• 1:24:33Speaker 01

  That club.

• 1:24:34Mark Normand?

  Great room. And then Wisconsin. I mean, what, back to back, two, two bangers.

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  The best clubs.

• 1:24:40Mark Normand?

  It's, yeah, it's pretty great. Uh, what else you got there?

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:24:44Mark Normand?

  Uh, Portland, helium, Charlotte.

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  Helium's great too. Mark, these are the best ones.

• 1:24:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, back at the clubs, I gotta build an hour here, so.

• 1:24:51Speaker 01

  Also, the San Jose Improv is great. It's like a mini theater.

• 1:24:53Mark Normand?

  I know. It's great. Balcony, big room. Where we'd use some help at San Jose and, uh, Tropicana and Atlantic City and Wind Creek Event Casino. Palazzo in Vegas at the Venetian and Indio, California at another casino and then Charlotte Comedy Zone. And, uh, I think we're good.

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  You know what Tropicana at Atlantic City had for a while?

• 1:25:17Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:25:18Speaker 02

  The best Hooters.

• 1:25:20Mark Normand?

  No way. I didn't see that coming.

• 1:25:23Speaker 02

  And you know what? Hooters has the best clam chowder and that's not a joke.

• 1:25:27Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 1:25:29Sam Morril?

  They got great clam. I'll tell you that much.

• 1:25:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:31Sam Morril?

  All right. You guys have been great.

• 1:25:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:34Sam Morril?

  See you guys. Get Bodega Cat Whiskey. See you guys next week.

• 1:25:38Mark Normand?

  I'm going to Dick's Sporting Goods. Leaving it out.

• 1:26:27Speaker 05

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