Ep 271: Mark Normand & Sam Morril - Might Be Drunk

No guest this week, but Mark and Sam go deep on panic attacks, peeves, pills, and why reservation apps are domestic terrorists. From Good Will Smith Hunting to frozen BMW gas caps, basketball injuries, and the return of the poo poo platter, it’s a classic chaotic solo ep. Sponsored by: Willie’s Remedy+Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code WMBD for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country. Mars MenFor a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at https://Mengotomars.com ShopifySign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com@GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #WilliesRemedy #MarsMen #Shopify #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Mark Normand?

  Hey, everybody, we're here.

• 0:07Sam Morril?

  Solo, solo up.

• 0:09Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 0:09Sam Morril?

  I like a solo up.

• 0:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, no pressure, no dead weight. Fucking Burt, Corolla, Adam, we get it. You're comedians. Nah, I'm just kidding.

• 0:19Sam Morril?

  No, it's good to, sometimes we have shit we wanna go back and forth with and we hold it, cuz, you know, you wanna be a good host.

• 0:25Mark Normand?

  Yes, of course. But hey, it's 28 degrees out, which feels, it feels like Hawaiian tropic.

• 0:31Sam Morril?

  I know, it's like feeling great.

• 0:32Mark Normand?

  I know, I love it. I walked around, got some sun on my tits.

• 0:36Sam Morril?

  I walked a couple miles the other day and it was fucking freezing, but you throw some longer jeans on, you're fine. I mean, you kinda feel good after a while.

• 0:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but that prick Punxsutawney Phil, he fucked us. Six more weeks of winter.

• 0:48Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:49Mark Normand?

  For that damn groundhog, that fat furry cunt.

• 0:52Sam Morril?

  You were talking about that Chevy Chase doc.

• 0:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:55Sam Morril?

  What do you think?

• 0:56Mark Normand?

  Well, I watched the Mel Brooks and then I watched the Chevy Chase.

• 0:58Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna watch, uh, Mel Brooks. I hear it's amazing.

• 1:01Mark Normand?

  Well, Mel Brooks is great, he's so cute and likable and fun, and then Chevy's like, prick, asshole, Gentile. It could be a more opposite.

• 1:08Sam Morril?

  I was in a green room of a comedy club and we were trying to get the game on and it wouldn't go through. All we had was this shit, so we were watching the Chevy Chase thing and I was like, you're not even gonna try to be likable?

• 1:20Mark Normand?

  I know, I know, but they showed two sides of him. His wife was like, I don't know what you guys are talking about, he's the sweetest man, he, when I was pregnant, I was ill, and he nursed me back to health all alone, he loves his daughters, so he's clearly got some issues.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  I'm not sure how I feel about all these docs coming out where like, the person the doc is about is involved in the doc.

• 1:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's like a PR thing.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:40Mark Normand?

  Is that what it is?

• 1:41Sam Morril?

  Well, it's also, but it's also weird when it comes out just when they die and then you're like, did he molest that person? You know, it's like, it is weird when, either way, it's weird.

• 1:50Mark Normand?

  It's like the Bill Maher point. He's like, it's called Allen vs. Pharaoh, it's all Pharaoh.

• 1:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:55Mark Normand?

  We don't hear Woody Allen's side.

• 1:58Mark Normand?

  He was in the.

• 1:58Sam Morril?

  I said that about Epstein. He died. We didn't get to hear enough of his ideas.

• 2:01Mark Normand?

  He was on the list? Yeah. Ah, who isn't on that? There's more people not, or, uh, there's more people on the list than not on the list.

• 2:08Sam Morril?

  Giants?

• 2:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:09Sam Morril?

  That was crazy.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Did you see Louis Gomez is on the list?

• 2:12Mark Normand?

  I did see that.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  He's actually on the list?

• 2:13Mark Normand?

  And Dave Attell.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  And Dave Attell.

• 2:15Sam Morril?

  What?

• 2:15Mark Normand?

  Well, they went to a comedy show and that was the lineup.

• 2:17Sam Morril?

  That's hilarious.

• 2:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so the, the worst part was he's like.

• 2:20Sam Morril?

  Louis called him a real ass dude.

• 2:25Sam Morril?

  Damn, that's hilarious. Cheers.

• 2:26Mark Normand?

  What do you got? Vodka soda? Gin and tonic? What is that? What is it? Tequila soda!

• 2:32Sam Morril?

  That's nice. That's good.

• 2:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, man, that's fucking, the Steve Tish one is like, the Giants have had a rough 10 years.

• 2:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:42Sam Morril?

  It's also, did you see the, the thing that he wrote? The email was like, he asked if prostitutes were pros or civilians?

• 2:49Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 2:50Sam Morril?

  And he's claiming it's adults, but it's like, do you know how many whores you're banging if you're calling non-horse civilians?

• 2:57Sam Morril?

  You're just like, oh, you're a civilian, okay.

• 2:58Mark Normand?

  That's true. And did he, did he do it like a draft? You know, like, I'm gonna pick her. Ah, she's, she's got experience. She's gonna get him right out of college, right out of high school.

• 3:06Sam Morril?

  He let Saquon go, so he's not picking good whores.

• 3:10Mark Normand?

  Tight end, okay. But hey, wow, look at these files. My god.

• 3:19Sam Morril?

  Do you, and, and Elon Musk, did you see that one?

• 3:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he wasn't cool enough. They're like, this guy's a nerd.

• 3:24Sam Morril?

  But it's the funniest email, first off, I think it was Christmas morning, which is, when you have 13 kids and you're sending that email on Christmas morning?

• 3:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:31Sam Morril?

  But also, he, he wrote, "I want to go to your wildest party." Which like, which dude, if he didn't know, how fucking funny would that be walking into that shit?

• 3:41Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 3:41Sam Morril?

  That's like a comedy. You show up and you're like, oh, fuck. And then a storm hits, you can't get out. You're just hanging out with kids.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  It looks just like his Christmas morning.

• 3:49Sam Morril?

  That's true.

• 3:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:51Sam Morril?

  More gifts, though.

• 3:54Mark Normand?

  Damn, that's crazy. Yeah, Elon didn't get the invite, which hurt, but I'm sure he's glad now.

• 3:59Sam Morril?

  Exactly. You wanna be, you wanna be thought of.

• 4:02Mark Normand?

  You wanna be thought of, yeah.

• 4:04Sam Morril?

  It's like a wedding. You wanna be invited to the pedophile island. You just don't wanna go.

• 4:07Mark Normand?

  Exactly. Same with a freak off. I'd love to be invited to a freak off.

• 4:10Sam Morril?

  It would've been nice.

• 4:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'd like to meet Leo and Jay-Z.

• 4:14Sam Morril?

  That would've been the fun part.

• 4:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Sam Morril?

  They're banging kids. We're just like, so tell me about passing on boogie nights. That must've been crazy, yeah.

• 4:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  I was watching your, uh, I got the special the other night.

• 4:25Sam Morril?

  Oh, cool.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  It's fantastic.

• 4:25Sam Morril?

  Thanks, man.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Uh, and your consent bit is kinda like this. Like, sometimes I like to just get consent.

• 4:31Sam Morril?

  Well, that is a big part of it. It's like, I think that's a lot of people's ego, right? Where like, you just want, you just want to know the person would fuck you, and then you're like, I'm good.

• 4:37Mark Normand?

  Completely.

• 4:38Sam Morril?

  Especially as you get older.

• 4:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, cuz you don't have to do the morning, you don't have to let her down, you don't have to finish in two seconds. There's only downsides, mostly.

• 4:46Sam Morril?

  I just think of the afterwards part. Now, the older you get, you're like, there might not be a round two.

• 4:50Mark Normand?

  So true.

• 4:51Sam Morril?

  Let me think about, is she gonna be cool to watch a movie? Is she gonna be cool to like, you know, is it gonna be like arguing like, how about this one? No, no.

• 4:57Mark Normand?

  Ah, a movie. Boy, you thought further ahead than I did. I'm like, was that a fire escape? Uh, how do I get out of here? Where's the eggs?

• 5:07Sam Morril?

  Was that a wedding ring? Fuck.

• 5:09Mark Normand?

  Yikes, yeah, but it's true. Maybe that's an age thing. The older you get, the more you think about the future.

• 5:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:15Mark Normand?

  Cuz then when you're young, you're like, the present. You're living in the present. You just wanna get laid.

• 5:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, true that.

• 5:20Mark Normand?

  And when you're older, you're like, ah, this is gonna be a lot of work.

• 5:23Sam Morril?

  You just think, you think through. You think, like, is this person a good hang? Like, I would gladly fuck someone with a terrible personality back in the day.

• 5:31Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 5:32Sam Morril?

  But now you're just like, I have to be around this?

• 5:34Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:35Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 5:36Mark Normand?

  I know, but you could, you could-

• 5:37Sam Morril?

  What am I kidding? I'd still fuck an awful person.

• 5:39Mark Normand?

  I've seen your rolodex. What are you talking about? What's damaged goods? What's her name? Cut that, cut that.

• 5:44Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god. No, you can keep it. It's funny. The best part of that story is that she hit me up and she was like, you have to confront him about that. I was like, and I can't. He's like one of my best friends.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Can you tell the story? I don't think everyone knows the story.

• 5:56Sam Morril?

  Oh, well, it's a story from a past app. It was a woman who was, you know, an interesting character.

• 6:03Mark Normand?

  Interesting character.

• 6:04Sam Morril?

  I enjoy her. She's fun. I like a character. I like a personality, yeah.

• 6:07Mark Normand?

  Interesting character.

• 6:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:08Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 6:09Sam Morril?

  But she was, there was a lot of, uh, spunk, and she got mad at Mark.

• 6:13Mark Normand?

  He got that right.

• 6:16Sam Morril?

  And Mark, uh, she got real mad that we were making jokes about it on the podcast. She claims my story wasn't accurate. I, I think it was pretty on the money. I don't remember. I was drunk when I told it, but,

• 6:28Sam Morril?

  you know, and then she called me and she goes, you need to confront Mark for calling me damaged goods. And I was like, nah, I can't. He's one of my best friends. And then she goes, well, you have to, you have to say something, maybe like hit him if he does it again. I was like, no, no, no. As I said, he's one of my best friends. And then she goes, well, if he does in the future, at least tell him not to. And I was like, I'll think about it.

• 6:49Mark Normand?

  All right. Well, this is kind of confronting. This is a form of confrontation. But I don't know you, ma'am. I'm sure you're a nice lady.

• 6:57Sam Morril?

  That'll settle you down.

• 6:58Mark Normand?

  Milady, what's your term now?

• 7:00Sam Morril?

  I don't know you, old bag. She's younger than me.

• 7:03Mark Normand?

  Civilian or a whore? I don't know what she is.

• 7:05Sam Morril?

  Civilian, for sure.

• 7:06Mark Normand?

  Okay, civilian.

• 7:07Sam Morril?

  Let's nip that in the bud.

• 7:08Mark Normand?

  I'm just joking. I don't, you seem like a nice lady.

• 7:10Sam Morril?

  She's a good person.

• 7:11Mark Normand?

  And I have no idea of your past history or damage or goods.

• 7:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 7:15Mark Normand?

  So, just joking around. I'm damaged goods.

• 7:18Sam Morril?

  We all are.

• 7:19Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:20Sam Morril?

  Good human.

• 7:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Sam Morril?

  I'm sure it'll work out in the end.

• 7:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's good. It's gonna be fun. We'll get her on.

• 7:26Sam Morril?

  I always think of the, I, I love a woman who's got like, you know, some femme fatale in her.

• 7:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, sure. Yeah.

• 7:34Sam Morril?

  I always think of Mitchum in Out of the Past where he's like, you're like a, you're like a leaf that flows from one gutter to the next.

• 7:41Mark Normand?

  Wow. That kind of thing's not gonna help either.

• 7:42Sam Morril?

  That's not gonna help. I started a Mitchum biography. Holy shit. Unreal.

• 7:48Mark Normand?

  Really? I'll watch that.

• 7:49Sam Morril?

  From Brit- no, it's a book.

• 7:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 7:51Sam Morril?

  He's from Bridgeport. It's huge. It's from, he's from Bridgeport, Connecticut. It's called Baby I Don't Care, which is awesome. From Bridgeport, Connecticut, the roughest fucking part. Yeah, you've been there. I mean, that's a rough part of town. And I think Kevin Nealon's from there as well.

• 8:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 8:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 8:04Mark Normand?

  How about that?

• 8:05Sam Morril?

  Uh, new special, by the way. Great comedian. Check out Kevin Nealon's new YouTube special.

• 8:08Mark Normand?

  Love Nealon.

• 8:09Sam Morril?

  Classic. But this, uh, book, Robert Mitchum, like dude, his dad died super young.

• 8:13Mark Normand?

  Your ex was Nealon. All right, all right. What's her name? Okay.

• 8:18Sam Morril?

  But, uh,

• 8:18Mark Normand?

  Squeezed it into the bud.

• 8:19Sam Morril?

  He, uh, crazy fucking life story, but dude, he, his dad died super young in this mechanical accident. Whatever. And then he's like dealing with a mom, dating drunks and stuff. He leaves home at fourteen and becomes a boxcar hobo. And he's like studying people on the train. Like, that's how he learned to act. Studying people and he's like picking up mannerisms. He's getting fucked up on the train at fourteen. Popping into new cities. I mean, like, his life's a fucking movie.

• 8:44Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah. I love that.

• 8:45Sam Morril?

  He's just a cool motherfucker.

• 8:47Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's unbelievable. That's so Americana, romantic.

• 8:51Sam Morril?

  Dude, I mean, it was hell, though. He's like, we'd be freezing on the train. Smoking weed, which weed back then, I'm sure you don't know what the fuck you're getting.

• 8:58Mark Normand?

  Devil's grass, yeah. And smoking weed back then was like doing heroin, I think.

• 9:01Sam Morril?

  Totally.

• 9:02Mark Normand?

  It was a whole different world. Reefer Madness.

• 9:04Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God. Remember that horseshit?

• 9:07Mark Normand?

  They're gonna have to sleep with black men. That was the big. Or whatever, side effects. Side piece.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  So like, I haven't seen any of these.

• 9:19Mark Normand?

  You haven't seen Out of the Past?

• 9:20Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 9:21Sam Morril?

  Out of the Past is one of the best. Kirk Douglas is the bad guy. That's a fucking great movie. Cape Fear's awesome.

• 9:27Mark Normand?

  The original.

• 9:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's in the new one, too.

• 9:29Mark Normand?

  What?

• 9:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 9:31Mark Normand?

  I didn't catch him.

• 9:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's a.

• 9:33Mark Normand?

  Lawyer?

• 9:33Sam Morril?

  He's a lawyer. Friends of Eddie Coyle.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  I think I've seen that.

• 9:36Sam Morril?

  Great book, too. Fucking amazing.

• 9:38Mark Normand?

  Wow, seventy-three.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've seen this.

• 9:40Sam Morril?

  Night of the Hunter's a fucking ten out of ten. He's awesome in that shit.

• 9:43Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 9:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's good at playing a bad dude.

• 9:48Mark Normand?

  Well, yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  He had to run.

• 9:50Mark Normand?

  One good thing about the Epstein list is every comic we know has an Epstein joke. And you're like, ah, it was seven years ago. Is this? And then a new file comes out and you're like, my joke's relevant again. That's how selfish comedians are.

• 10:01Sam Morril?

  And it's a great topic, because it's like relationship bits where like, you know it's gonna, people are gonna connect with it.

• 10:07Mark Normand?

  Right, yeah.

• 10:08Sam Morril?

  Everyone's aware of it. No one's pro Pito. I guess a few people on that list, but most people are not. And no one's gonna admit it, so you laugh. Those guys probably laugh even like, ah, it's a good one.

• 10:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they laugh the hardest.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Hope that email doesn't come out.

• 10:22Mark Normand?

  And like Stephen Hawking, I get to make fun of a guy who's paralyzed because he's a pedo.

• 10:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and he's dead.

• 10:28Mark Normand?

  And he's dead. It's a win-win. Apparently he liked the midgets.

• 10:33Sam Morril?

  The midgets?

• 10:34Mark Normand?

  Nah, he was a midget guy.

• 10:35Sam Morril?

  That's nice.

• 10:36Mark Normand?

  I guess, yeah.

• 10:37Sam Morril?

  As long as they're of age.

• 10:38Mark Normand?

  Well, I don't know. I don't know about that.

• 10:40Sam Morril?

  I guess from behind, you can't really tell.

• 10:43Mark Normand?

  Maybe the pubes. Yeah, but uh...

• 10:45Sam Morril?

  Damn, but it's nice to know. Everyone's got their fetish, right? It's good that there's a group that's desired.

• 10:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 10:51Sam Morril?

  But I'm sure they're not thrilled. They're like, "Yeah, you're not our type."

• 10:54Mark Normand?

  No, no, but he's still... Well, a woman wants a guy taller. You're not gonna be taller in a wheelchair unless it's a midget.

• 11:00Sam Morril?

  That's true.

• 11:00Mark Normand?

  Oral from a midget. That's a low blow. Alright, tweet it.

• 11:06Mark Normand?

  Uh, but yeah, Chevy Chase, they get into why he's such an asshole and it's pretty fascinating.

• 11:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, like, give me some.

• 11:12Mark Normand?

  Well, he was beaten as a child, beaten quite badly.

• 11:15Sam Morril?

  That'll do it.

• 11:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and he's like, he keeps... He confesses. He's like, "I'm wildly insecure, so when someone comes at me, I go at them times 10. I got a short fuse, I'm crazy."

• 11:25Sam Morril?

  Interesting.

• 11:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so...

• 11:27Sam Morril?

  But he could... He was just such a prick.

• 11:29Mark Normand?

  He was a prick, and I never was a huge Chase guy.

• 11:32Sam Morril?

  Me neither.

• 11:32Mark Normand?

  To me, like, Fell Down, which that wasn't my favorite kind of comedy.

• 11:36Sam Morril?

  It was cartoonish.

• 11:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:38Sam Morril?

  I always, I always connected way more with Bill Murray.

• 11:40Mark Normand?

  Me too.

• 11:41Sam Morril?

  He was kind of like the cool dick.

• 11:43Mark Normand?

  Love Bill Murray.

• 11:44Sam Morril?

  Like, you watch Groundhog Day or movies like that, or Ghostbusters, he's just a cool guy who's kind of a dick and sarcastic. I just thought that was a more fun character.

• 11:51Mark Normand?

  Agreed. Well, did you hear what Tarantino said?

• 11:53Sam Morril?

  What?

• 11:54Mark Normand?

  Tarantino said, "I'm a Chevy Chase man," and the other guy who he was interviewing was like, "I'm a Bill Murray man." He's like, "I like Chase better because he stayed a dick through the whole movie." Bill Murray's a dick and then learns. He's like, "Fuck that. You're gonna be a dick. Own it."

• 12:06Sam Morril?

  It's called an arc.

• 12:07Mark Normand?

  It's an arc, but...

• 12:07Sam Morril?

  I don't mean, I don't mean a fucking, you know...

• 12:09Mark Normand?

  Arc Norman.

• 12:09Sam Morril?

  You know, Tarantino, I think he's, he's got, he understands movies, but...

• 12:13Mark Normand?

  Ah, yeah, that was...

• 12:13Sam Morril?

  I think, I think an arc is... I was watching As Good As It Gets the other day. I love that he, he doesn't totally soften, but he softens like just enough.

• 12:19Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 12:20Sam Morril?

  He's still a dick, but he, he becomes a little nicer. You need a fucking arc.

• 12:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you need a resolution. It's a movie here. So that was, that was Tarantino's take.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  So which one do you put higher on, like, the... Pantheon being like, oh, this is, this guy had the better movies.

• 12:36Mark Normand?

  I would say Chase open, I mean, Christmas Vacation, uh, Regular Vacation and Caddyshack are lights out.

• 12:45Sam Morril?

  Hall of Fame.

• 12:45Mark Normand?

  Unreal.

• 12:46Sam Morril?

  For sure. Fletch.

• 12:47Mark Normand?

  Fletch, I'll give you Fletch.

• 12:48Sam Morril?

  Fletch is good.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Honorable mention. Better than like Rushmore.

• 12:51Mark Normand?

  Well, hold on. I'm not, but, but Bill Murray had great ones too. Ghostbusters, What About Bob, Groundhog Day, Stripes, Caddyshack.

• 12:58Sam Morril?

  I'll give you another underrated Bill Murray, Quick Change.

• 13:01Mark Normand?

  Quick Change is great.

• 13:02Sam Morril?

  Underrated.

• 13:02Mark Normand?

  But my point is Bill Murray kept going, whereas Chevy Chase went in like Cops and Robbersons, Man of the House, Foul Play. You know, he had some real stinkaroos towards the end, where Bill Murray kept going and he kind of reinvented with Rushmore, Broken Flowers.

• 13:17Sam Morril?

  Lost in Translation.

• 13:18Mark Normand?

  Lost in Translation.

• 13:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Not to mention all the Wes Anderson shit.

• 13:22Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 13:22Sam Morril?

  The Royal Tenenbaums.

• 13:23Mark Normand?

  Rushmore, yeah, Tenenbaums. He's great. Hey Coltrane.

• 13:27Sam Morril?

  I love a bank robbery movie, dude.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is a great one.

• 13:30Mark Normand?

  That's great. That's New York too, 80's New York.

• 13:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, wasn't there Randy Quaid too in that?

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right.

• 13:35Sam Morril?

  Randy Quaid's all over shit.

• 13:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's good.

• 13:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I was watching, I mean dude, he's in so many movies, you forget, he just.

• 13:41Mark Normand?

  Uh, Independence Day.

• 13:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, fucking La- uh, Last Detail with Nicholson.

• 13:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 13:46Sam Morril?

  It's in The Last Picture Show, I didn't fucking even.

• 13:48Mark Normand?

  He's underrated funny and he kind of went nuts. He went like QAnon.

• 13:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he went a little nutty.

• 13:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Some people go nutty.

• 13:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Mark Normand?

  You're around long enough, you're gonna see some people really.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  I had a, I had a thought.

• 14:02Mark Normand?

  Finally.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Indulged me here.

• 14:03Mark Normand?

  Alright, hit me.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Um, you know, like sometimes there's people in your life you write off eventually, you're like, I just can't be around them anymore.

• 14:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  They just went nuts.

• 14:09Sam Morril?

  Or you have them around in like a big group.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:12Sam Morril?

  Like, I can't, I can't handle them one on one, I'm having people over, invite, invite this guy.

• 14:16Mark Normand?

  The buffer.

• 14:16Sam Morril?

  You know he's gonna drink too much, you know he's gonna be annoying, but you, you throw in some other, and then, but then you see people and they're just like, what happened to that guy? I'm like, sorry about that.

• 14:26Sam Morril?

  I made, I made you throw a pick for me in that conversation.

• 14:28Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  But then I had a realization, I'm that somebody for somebody else. You're that somebody for somebody else. People are like, I can't be around Mark anymore, it's too bad.

• 14:37Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 14:38Sam Morril?

  That's why we were at Ari's wedding.

• 14:42Sam Morril?

  That was our hang, I guess.

• 14:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:44Sam Morril?

  He was a- It disappears.

• 14:45Mark Normand?

  There's a built-in buffer, because the whole wedding people.

• 14:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude, no, it's, uh... There's truth to that, for sure. I mean, people do... A lot of it's booze, though. A lot of people I know that are hard, it's they just can't handle their liquor, and they don't know when to stop drinking.

• 15:02Mark Normand?

  Ah, yeah, but now I think it's... It used to be booze, and it shifted to politics.

• 15:06Sam Morril?

  That's true.

• 15:06Mark Normand?

  Now people are like-

• 15:07Sam Morril?

  But there's a... Sometimes you get a combination.

• 15:08Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true, yeah, which is the worst. But some people go hard this way, some people go hard that way.

• 15:13Sam Morril?

  Politics seems like it's more on social media, though. I think like-

• 15:15Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 15:16Sam Morril?

  If you're watching it, coming over to watch a game, it's more like, you agree to not do that.

• 15:20Mark Normand?

  Agreed, agreed, yeah.

• 15:22Sam Morril?

  It's less face-to-face, I think.

• 15:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, but I guess we're so online that politics seem like reality. I mean, I'm sorry, social media seems like reality.

• 15:29Sam Morril?

  Totally.

• 15:30Mark Normand?

  But there's the flip side of that, too, where you're somebody's, "Don't invite that guy", but also, "That guy might have changed", and said, "Don't invite that guy". You didn't change, they changed, and so you're not the crazy one, they kinda went crazy. So they wrote you off. Does that make sense?

• 15:46Sam Morril?

  Oh, I'll tell you one, too. Some people, they get a little success, they become so fucking insufferable.

• 15:52Mark Normand?

  Peters.

• 15:54Sam Morril?

  We, uh... I was supposed to do a benefit with a good friend of ours. Uh, it won't be named, but he's a pretty good friend of ours, and I heard that some comic said she wouldn't do the show, because she goes, "He's a Nazi", and I was like, "Well, I'm friends with him."

• 16:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 16:09Sam Morril?

  I don't think I'd be friends with a Nazi.

• 16:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 16:11Sam Morril?

  And I was like, "No, he's not", and she goes, "Yeah, I'm not doing any..." I'm like, "He's doing a charity thing."

• 16:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right.

• 16:17Sam Morril?

  You know, it's like, it was one of the things where I was like, "What?"

• 16:19Mark Normand?

  A Nazi, and also, the left's gotta stop calling people Nazis, and the right's gotta stop calling people domestic terrorists. Domestic terrorist is like, this, like, a guy got shot in the street, and they're like, "He's a domestic terrorist", like, "No, Timothy McVeigh is a domestic terrorist." This is a... A nurse, or whatever.

• 16:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Yeah, let's talk about ICE on this podcast, that's a light one.

• 16:40Mark Normand?

  Just so, I needed a comparison, Nazi, domestic terrorist.

• 16:42Sam Morril?

  People come here because they're like, "We know we can get an escape", we're like, "We're going political, guys."

• 16:46Mark Normand?

  And look, think what you will, I'm just saying domestic terrorist, the definition is inaccurate.

• 16:51Sam Morril?

  No, it's, uh... It's, no, certainly not in that case, that was-

• 16:55Mark Normand?

  And same with Nazi.

• 16:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Mark Normand?

  Sydney Sweeney's a Nazi, it's like, "Come on",

• 16:58Sam Morril?

  That was crazy, too.

• 16:59Mark Normand?

  What are we doing?

• 16:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Nazi, Jesus Christ.

• 17:01Mark Normand?

  I know, I know, well, I always say if you gotta-

• 17:03Sam Morril?

  Is that why I'm so attracted to her?

• 17:05Mark Normand?

  If you gotta up it, then it's something's bullshit.

• 17:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 17:09Mark Normand?

  You know, like if you wouldn't say like, Chris Brown killed Rihanna. Now he beat the shit out of her, but he didn't kill her. But if you have to say killer, now you make the, you know, ah, you get it.

• 17:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, no, no, none of us are on board with that.

• 17:21Mark Normand?

  That's why I got so mad about the BBC when they're like editing Trump shit. I'm like, he says crazy shit.

• 17:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you don't have to edit it.

• 17:26Mark Normand?

  You don't have to edit stuff. You know? That makes it look like, then he gets to go, they're editing all my shit.

• 17:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, it's hilarious. I mean, there was someone from ISIS died and they were like, he was a thinker, a reader.

• 17:39Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 17:39Sam Morril?

  And you're just like, I think it was BBC, and you're just like, you could, you could throw a negative adjective in there too.

• 17:45Mark Normand?

  He's reading the Quran. He's thinking about a bomb.

• 17:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's all, it's all ridiculous.

• 17:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 17:50Sam Morril?

  I mean, it's like the way that, you know, it's supposed to, the news used to be the news. Now there's so much opinion.

• 17:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 17:55Sam Morril?

  Wherever you go, it's tough. And then if there's not opinion, you still know who owns the network.

• 17:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 18:00Sam Morril?

  So you know the influence. It's, it's tough. It's tough to get your news now.

• 18:02Mark Normand?

  It is, it is. And then everybody goes, we'll have the neutral news. And you start watching that, you're like, this is actually starting to pick a lane too. So you can't, you can't win. That's why I just assume and I make snap judgments and I run off emotion.

• 18:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 18:19Mark Normand?

  Just kidding.

• 18:20Sam Morril?

  No, I know, I know, I know. How was, how was Stress Factory, man? Bodega Cat, Whiskey, now at Stress Factory?

• 18:26Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 18:26Sam Morril?

  Now at Cobb's and SF, now at all these clubs. I mean, it's, it's exciting and we're about to be legal in Illinois. So here comes fucking Chicago, March 1st.

• 18:35Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 18:35Sam Morril?

  That's fucking big time.

• 18:36Mark Normand?

  That's big.

• 18:37Sam Morril?

  Chicago, it means hit us up. We already got hit up by a lot of restaurants and, and stuff, so.

• 18:41Mark Normand?

  That's Schaumburg Improv, Two Zanies, maybe the Chicago Theater. Uh, Illinois has got a ton of rooms.

• 18:46Sam Morril?

  Three restaurants hit us up too.

• 18:48Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 18:48Sam Morril?

  Uh, to our buddy Howard and then, uh, yeah, so mu- so many options there, man.

• 18:53Mark Normand?

  Well, Stress Factory was awesome, but, uh, a couple of things.

• 18:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 18:58Mark Normand?

  It's an hour and, it's an hour and 10 minutes away. So I always think that. So then I leave too late and every night I was late.

• 19:05Sam Morril?

  I always leave too early and then I'm just hanging out with Vinny.

• 19:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:08Sam Morril?

  This is even worse.

• 19:08Mark Normand?

  I'd rather be late.

• 19:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah, same.

• 19:10Mark Normand?

  And I love Vinny, he's a fun guy. We had, we had a great talk. He wouldn't let me leave, but, um, so I was late, so the, the, you're like, oh, no place.

• 19:18Sam Morril?

  So then he's like, I'll go up and do some time.

• 19:19Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 19:20Sam Morril?

  Oh, boy.

• 19:20Mark Normand?

  Which, which happened.

• 19:21Sam Morril?

  You've really fucked your audience on that one. He's doing crowd work now and he's like, what was that?

• 19:25Mark Normand?

  I know, he's deaf in one ear, but he, he won't hear this. But he had one-

• 19:29Sam Morril?

  You'll hear it in his right ear.

• 19:31Mark Normand?

  He had a great line, though, he does at the end of the night where he's like, he goes back up after I'm done. And he goes, "All right, guys, couple announcements." And a guy gets up and he goes, "Sir, sir, I'm doing announcements. That's so rude. Sit down." The guy goes, "I gotta pee." He goes, "I'll be two seconds. Just sit down." And the guy's like, "All right, all right." The guy goes back to his seat, sits down, and goes, "So, if you have to go to the restroom, now's the time."

• 19:52Sam Morril?

  That's great.

• 19:53Mark Normand?

  Great, great gag. Worked every night.

• 19:55Sam Morril?

  He's got some great stories, dude.

• 19:56Mark Normand?

  He does. He's a fun guy.

• 19:57Sam Morril?

  He's seen it all.

• 19:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, geez, Geraldo.

• 20:01Sam Morril?

  He died at that club.

• 20:02Mark Normand?

  Next door.

• 20:02Sam Morril?

  Oh, brutal.

• 20:03Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 20:04Sam Morril?

  I think about that every time. Legend.

• 20:06Mark Normand?

  Uh, but yeah, we had a, it's some real townies in there. Like, you wanna go to America? Go do the fucking Stress Factory.

• 20:11Sam Morril?

  New Brunswick?

• 20:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got some real...

• 20:15Sam Morril?

  It's Rutgers.

• 20:16Mark Normand?

  Eh, it was like a J6 out there. I mean, it was wild. Uh, but with great crowds, great time, not offended by anything. Um, but, here's the clinker.

• 20:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:28Mark Normand?

  So, my Beamer, as you know, famously broke down on the New Jersey Turnpike last year. A guy let me house it at his house. My, my mechanic went over to that guy's house, got the car, fixed it. It took weeks and weeks. And he goes, "All right, I gotta get your car off my, my, my shop lot here. How about this? I'll bring it to the Stress Factory, I'll watch your show, we'll have a drink, and then you drive the car home." And I said, "Perfect." So, he comes to the show, he brings the car. Now, he goes, "Here's the keys. Your gas cap is frozen, so I put enough gas in to get you back home. Two, there's no heat."

• 21:08Sam Morril?

  What do you do when the gas cap is frozen?

• 21:10Mark Normand?

  You gotta just heat it with like a heater for like 10 minutes, but he's, "I'm not gonna do that. I don't have a heater." So, he's like, "I filled it up."

• 21:16Sam Morril?

  It's a beautiful car, dude.

• 21:17Mark Normand?

  Thank you, thank you. 1973.

• 21:19Sam Morril?

  It's a great pick, too, Sal keys.

• 21:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Times Square. So, uh, I go, "Okay." And he goes, "Here, here you go. And by the way, this is a summer car." This thing, he's a mechanic who's like a car guy. He races cars. He's like, "This was not easy to get here, so good luck." So, I was like, "Oh, okay." So, we do the two shows. I'm drinking heavily, whatever, putting them back, bodega cap, bodega cap. And then, I'm getting paid. At the end, we say bye to the staff, we take a big photo, drinks, drinks, drinks. By now, it's like 1 a.m. Vinny tells four stories. Now, it's 1:30, and I'm like... Oh no, I gotta bring the car back, I forgot. So.

• 21:57Sam Morril?

  Then he's like, "I'll drive you back." He just keeps talking, you're like, "Fuck."

• 22:00Mark Normand?

  So now I'm shitfaced.

• 22:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 22:02Mark Normand?

  The car's, he's like, "It's gonna take 10 minutes just to start it." Cause it's so cold out, you gotta like, run it, run it, run it.

• 22:07Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 22:07Mark Normand?

  Then he's like, "But don't use all the gas when you're starting it," you know? And then he's like, "And there's no heat." So I had to get a blanket from the stress factory, I'm wearing gloves, I'm in the car, I'm in a garage at like, 2:00 in the morning drunk, like, da-da-da-da-da, just.

• 22:20Sam Morril?

  And you're alone.

• 22:21Mark Normand?

  I'm alone, just letting it run. And, you know, it's a long stretch back on that turnpike, all alone, in the dark. And, just to cap it all off, I have no insurance, no, uh, what's it called, what do you call that? Registration. So I'm riding dirty. So I'm drunk, I'm riding dirty, and it's 2 degrees outside, I've got a blanket and gloves on, and my teeth are chattering. And.

• 22:44Sam Morril?

  Just picture you turning the keys and it explodes like in Casino.

• 22:48Mark Normand?

  I wish, that would've been easier.

• 22:49Sam Morril?

  Then you would have some heat.

• 22:50Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 22:52Sam Morril?

  Jesus.

• 22:54Mark Normand?

  So I get that puppy on the road and, uh, that was a long shaky ride back to New York City.

• 23:00Sam Morril?

  So now you're, do you at all regret getting it since you can't really drive it?

• 23:04Mark Normand?

  Nah, cause in the summer, I mean, that thing on the West Side Highway with the wind in your hair, there's nothing better, but, uh.

• 23:09Sam Morril?

  What's the airbag situation, something like that?

• 23:11Mark Normand?

  No airbag, no seat belts, and no, uh, power steering. Yeah, this is what I wish would've happened.

• 23:17Sam Morril?

  That's what Norman was wearing too. It was in a pink bomber.

• 23:22Mark Normand?

  Oh man, oh yeah.

• 23:24Sam Morril?

  Jesus Christ.

• 23:25Mark Normand?

  I was so pink, Sam almost drank me, thought I was pepto. But, uh, yeah, I got home at like, 3:30 in the morning, just like, da-da-da, cars are, trucks are like, "Raaar, raaar." "Get off the road asshole." And, uh, I probably pulled that thing in a lot, and you're like, pull your hands off the wheel, I'm like, frozen to the wheel.

• 23:42Sam Morril?

  Oh. Yeah, no heat in there.

• 23:45Mark Normand?

  No heat, no heat.

• 23:46Sam Morril?

  Brutal.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  And if I know Mark, no plates, no insurance?

• 23:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I said all this, I said, "No heat, no plate, no insurance, no registration."

• 23:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's insane.

• 23:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so, uh, yeah, I got in there.

• 23:55Sam Morril?

  You're both going for overstatement, I was going for the, really bring it home there.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  I was searching for video.

• 23:59Mark Normand?

  And then, uh, you know, I finally get home and the, the wife's like, "How'd it go?" And I'm like, "Good, I made it." And she was like, "Alright." So. The car is safe.

• 24:07Sam Morril?

  That's cool, man. I had a crazy thing happen to me yesterday. So you know, I play in this comics basketball league every Sunday when I'm home. Our boy JP McDade, we're playing a game, goes up, drives to the hoop, ruptures his fucking patella.

• 24:23Mark Normand?

  Ooh, patella, what's that, this?

• 24:26Sam Morril?

  Knee. Knee is like, it's looking bad. And it's one like, I watch enough basketball, we're getting older, you know that's fucking bad. And we like, we didn't know that's what it was, but I was like, this ain't a sprain. This is fucking serious.

• 24:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:39Sam Morril?

  Cause he's down and he's in pain and he's tough. He's not, you know.

• 24:42Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 24:42Sam Morril?

  He took it better than fucking some NBA players I've seen with this.

• 24:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, LeBron. Whoa, those flagrants are out of control.

• 24:48Sam Morril?

  And then, uh, but yeah, we had to fucking carry him to the, Jeff Cerulli, thank God, drives us to the ER.

• 24:54Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 24:55Sam Morril?

  He's gonna have to get surgery, man. It's fucking serious.

• 24:57Mark Normand?

  And JP's 6'6". I feel like his head's out.

• 25:00Sam Morril?

  It might be in his story.

• 25:01Mark Normand?

  Okay. His head's out one side of the window, his legs are out the other side of the window, laying down.

• 25:04Sam Morril?

  Dude, that's the worst, the best part is, he's down on the ground and someone's like, someone get ice from the bodega. Uh, uh, uh, one of the comics runs out, grabs ice from the fucking sidewalk.

• 25:15Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 25:16Sam Morril?

  Like actual ice. We're like, no, that's not, it just melts.

• 25:20Mark Normand?

  Man, look at Sam, looking like the angel of death right here. God damn, he's about to take his soul. Poor JP, cause these tall guys, they shatter like glass.

• 25:30Sam Morril?

  Well, now, not only that, but he's, but he's like a pretty strong tall guy. Like I was sending pics, he was fucking hitting me. Uh, but he, uh, we get in there, he's in a wheelchair. The, the guy is a fucking idiot. The guy's pushing him. And you know JP's 6'7".

• 25:45Mark Normand?

  6'7".

• 25:46Sam Morril?

  So he's, so he's like, just wheeling him, JP's legs elevated. The guy's not looking, just bangs him into a fucking wall. He's like, ah, he's like, my leg. And the guy's like, oh, my bad. I'm like, yeah, you gotta look.

• 25:56Mark Normand?

  It's like a sitcom.

• 25:56Sam Morril?

  You gotta look.

• 25:57Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 25:58Sam Morril?

  So it was crazy, but yeah, he's a tough dude. That's a, that's a long recovery though.

• 26:02Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 26:02Sam Morril?

  It'll be alright. It'll be alright.

• 26:04Mark Normand?

  Like what, a couple of weeks, some months?

• 26:05Sam Morril?

  Couple of weeks, a fucking, if it's fully ruptured, I don't know if it is, that could be a fucking year, dude.

• 26:11Mark Normand?

  Damn, sorry, man.

• 26:13Sam Morril?

  He'll be back.

• 26:13Mark Normand?

  Thank God he's a writer.

• 26:16Mark Normand?

  Well, I want to do between shows, between shows. I don't need to be chewing.

• 26:20Sam Morril?

  I need food.

• 26:21Mark Normand?

  Sounds like he's offered us a cookie, which is very nice, but uh...

• 26:25Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna put you on a list. You got a kid there, you're offering cookies.

• 26:27Sam Morril?

  What are you, my uncle?

• 26:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:28Sam Morril?

  You gotta eat more cookies. Take a cookie.

• 26:32Mark Normand?

  Damn, that sucks. Now, who pays for that? Is he gonna sue you for picking them?

• 26:36Sam Morril?

  For picking? No, no, no. I was very far from that play.

• 26:39Mark Normand?

  Okay, thank God.

• 26:40Sam Morril?

  God, that'd be a hilarious lawsuit.

• 26:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a...

• 26:43Sam Morril?

  No, no, no. Well, the thing about these injuries are they're no contact.

• 26:47Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 26:47Sam Morril?

  So, no one hit him. He just fucking lost balance.

• 26:50Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 26:51Sam Morril?

  So, it's like the no-contact injuries in sports are the ones where you're like, fuck.

• 26:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:55Sam Morril?

  You want contact. I got knee-to-knee of that game. You're like, oh, that stings for like 30 seconds.

• 26:59Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 27:00Sam Morril?

  But then you're fine. But like, no contact, that's when you're tearing Achilles. You fucking do something like this, it's...

• 27:05Mark Normand?

  Damn, we're getting old too, and I wonder if the cold doesn't help.

• 27:08Sam Morril?

  Well, it's indoors.

• 27:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay, okay. Who else was at that game?

• 27:12Sam Morril?

  Lot of comedians, lot of comedians. But uh, I don't know if you guys know them, but uh, Joe Wachowski, he was at it. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, it's uh...

• 27:22Mark Normand?

  Damn, that's a bummer.

• 27:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah, not good.

• 27:25Mark Normand?

  We forget, like, whenever you're sick, or when you get injured, you're like, oh my God, I don't realize how much you do in a day. Like, eight pods, workout, go write, go do shows, get on a flight, get on Uber, like, you're busy.

• 27:36Sam Morril?

  Well, picture airport security on crutches.

• 27:38Mark Normand?

  Exactly, huh.

• 27:41Sam Morril?

  I mean, that's, yeah, but he'll, look, he'll figure it out, but uh, god damn.

• 27:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that sucks.

• 27:46Sam Morril?

  Hate to see that, you just hate to see your boy go down.

• 27:48Mark Normand?

  Damn, patella too, that's a...

• 27:50Sam Morril?

  Fucking bad.

• 27:51Mark Normand?

  That's a doozy.

• 27:53Sam Morril?

  Doozy.

• 27:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I've broken both ankles just skateboarding.

• 27:56Sam Morril?

  Are you serious?

• 27:57Mark Normand?

  Just, you know, as a teenager, yeah.

• 27:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, as a teenager, you bounce back a little more quickly.

• 28:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, both ankles, one wrist, a lot of fingers.

• 28:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 28:04Mark Normand?

  But yeah, never had like a patella, oof. I had a friend one time skateboarding, board flipped up, knocked his tooth out.

• 28:11Sam Morril?

  Ooh.

• 28:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:12Sam Morril?

  Stavie?

• 28:15Mark Normand?

  That guy's never skateboarded.

• 28:17Sam Morril?

  Remember, he didn't have a tooth for like three years.

• 28:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I remember that. That was a wild time.

• 28:21Sam Morril?

  And he was still getting laid.

• 28:22Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 28:23Sam Morril?

  God bless him.

• 28:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, it was a hole. Oh my God. Wow, look at that. Yeah, I think there was a point where he was like, I'm gonna ride this out. This is kinda gonna be my thing.

• 28:32Sam Morril?

  I remember he walked into a club once and I was with a friend of mine and she's very attractive and she goes, "There's something really sexy about it."

• 28:38Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 28:39Sam Morril?

  She goes, "He just doesn't give a fuck."

• 28:41Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 28:43Sam Morril?

  You should see my apartment. I don't give a fuck.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  So we haven't had a solo in a while. Do you guys working on any bits?

• 28:50Sam Morril?

  Most of the shit I've been doing that's new, cause I'm honing for a special, has been topical. So I've either thrown it on social media or I just kinda drop it, you know?

• 28:59Mark Normand?

  I got a couple. One is too heavy. It's like a long chunk, so I'm not gonna break it out here.

• 29:04Sam Morril?

  We can break it out. Break something out. I have one angle too. I could run by you. It might be nothing though, but yeah, let's...

• 29:11Mark Normand?

  Alright, I got this. This one's a little lighter, but uh... You know, getting older, stopped doing drugs really, so now I take vitamins. But the problem with vitamins is, they don't do anything. Like, you don't feel anything. So I know we shit on drugs and drugs are bad, but they feel great. Vitamins are good for you. I feel nothing. So this is like a big bummer.

• 29:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's never like, "Oh shit, I feel that zinc kicking in."

• 29:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, I even forget to take my vitamins. I've never forgotten to do drugs. You know, no one's like, "Oh, that blow! I forgot all about it!" You know, like... And no one goes to rehab for vitamins, cause you don't have to. They're not fun.

• 29:47Sam Morril?

  And it's like annoying. It's like flossing. It's annoying to take your vitamins. Like, "Oh yeah, I gotta do that."

• 29:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 29:51Sam Morril?

  You never feel that way with drugs. You're never like, "I guess I gotta do some coke."

• 29:54Mark Normand?

  Exactly, exactly, yeah. And it's a multivitamin. Like, this has got zinc, plu- ginkgo, buloba, calcium, potassium, vitamin A, B, still nothing.

• 30:04Sam Morril?

  Well, who knows if that shit's even good at this point? I don't even know. You know what else is uh... They had Flintstones vitamins for kids.

• 30:11Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 30:11Sam Morril?

  So kids would take them. You'd never see like ecstasy shaped like a fucking X-Men or something.

• 30:16Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, that's true. Well, then the big ending is like, vitamins are like a crypto guy. I'm like, "How do you make money? I never see you work." But then vitamins are like an immigrant. They're illegal, but they fucking work, you know? And that part's hitting. But uh, yeah, they should make vitamins feel good or something. It's weird that the one that's good for you has no upside. Like, it's like a religion. You gotta have faith.

• 30:42Sam Morril?

  Yes, that's been done, though.

• 30:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's been done?

• 30:44Sam Morril?

  I think Etelle or Marin, one of them had a bit like where it's like you have to pray. It's like prayer.

• 30:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, I think that is.

• 30:50Sam Morril?

  It's like prayer doesn't work. Like I, it was Marin. Marin was like, I mock prayer, but I take vitamins.

• 30:57Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 30:58Sam Morril?

  There's no proof of that. I think so. I just steer clear of that angle. But I remember, I remember opening for him in like 2011 and he was doing that. I was like, that's a good bit.

• 31:05Mark Normand?

  That's funny.

• 31:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 31:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah. So I'm working on it and part of it's hitting, you know, I've never sucked dick for zinc, yada, yada, you know?

• 31:14Sam Morril?

  Zinc's a funny sound.

• 31:15Mark Normand?

  Zinc is funny.

• 31:16Sam Morril?

  You got that C at the end. That's a nice.

• 31:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, omega threes. Yeah, there's a lot of funny vitamins.

• 31:21Sam Morril?

  It is funny how you get excited for certain vitamins, though, as you get older and like the same way you get excited for drugs when you were younger. That's how you know we're getting older. You're like, ooh, glutathione. This is kind of cool.

• 31:33Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 31:33Sam Morril?

  You know?

• 31:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, vitamins, you want it to be stepped on. Like I'm reading a multi and I'm like, oh, this is in there too? Hey, where drugs are like, there's no fentanyl in here, huh?

• 31:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there's, I don't know. There's something there. There's something there for sure. I got one over on by.

• 31:47Mark Normand?

  All right, hit me.

• 31:48Sam Morril?

  Let me see if I had a couple of ideas. A lot of these are just trash, though. Heads up.

• 31:54Sam Morril?

  What do I have? I'm going through the old emails.

• 31:58Mark Normand?

  Email? Who the hell are you sending these to?

• 32:00Sam Morril?

  To myself.

• 32:00Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 32:02Sam Morril?

  You don't do that?

• 32:02Mark Normand?

  No, I do the notes.

• 32:04Sam Morril?

  Let me see what I got. I do both, but I just like to have it everywhere. Um, let's see what I got. Fuck.

• 32:14Sam Morril?

  See, I don't have this down the way I wanted it.

• 32:16Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 32:17Sam Morril?

  But. Let me see. Yeah, I'll find it.

• 32:22Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 32:24Mark Normand?

  I was gonna just say to the folks at home, watch the Mel Brooks doc.

• 32:26Sam Morril?

  Oh, I hear it's fucking unbelievable.

• 32:28Mark Normand?

  It's great.

• 32:28Sam Morril?

  Judd made it, who just did this.

• 32:30Mark Normand?

  Judd has found, this is where, this is his thing. He's, she's the doc guy, the comedy doc guy. Shanling, Mel Brooks, they got a Norman coming out. He did another one, I think.

• 32:39Sam Morril?

  Here's the angle I have, and it's not, this, I might have to flip it. Something's off. I'll try it maybe tonight. Like how comedians, we live in our heads and you listen to the voice in your head. It guides you. Like we're kind of like, if you think about it, we kind of do the same thing mass shooters do. You listen to the voices in your head and it guides you to do your thing for a big crowd. You know what I mean?

• 33:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's good.

• 33:02Sam Morril?

  So it's like, really, it's the same technique. We're just not hurting people, you know? Uh, we both have notebooks. They call theirs manifestos.

• 33:08Mark Normand?

  Hey, I like this.

• 33:10Sam Morril?

  Uh, we're both societal outcasts. Both got bullied in school. And for both of us, this is kind of our way of making things right.

• 33:16Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 33:17Sam Morril?

  There's something there, right?

• 33:18Mark Normand?

  This is great, yeah. I like it.

• 33:19Sam Morril?

  I'll play with it. I told you it's clunky as fuck, but there's something to that.

• 33:23Mark Normand?

  No, this is, this is a good, good idea. Good premise.

• 33:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 33:26Mark Normand?

  Good A to B.

• 33:27Sam Morril?

  I'll just, I try to just, what I do now is I just like, take a notebook. I used to use like that typewriter thing. I just take a notebook and I just try to write in a room and just fucking free associate for like thirty to an hour.

• 33:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I do the same thing.

• 33:38Sam Morril?

  And it's usually just garbage, but if you get any thought. I had another thought, though, could maybe be something about like how I'm for your right to own a gun, but I would never want to date a woman who owns a gun.

• 33:48Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 33:49Sam Morril?

  Not because I don't think it's her right, but I just, I'm aware of how annoying I am.

• 33:54Sam Morril?

  And I know that people would be like, would like, yeah.

• 33:56Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 33:57Sam Morril?

  There's something to that, too. I'll, I'll run these this week and, uh, on the road.

• 34:01Mark Normand?

  Maybe, uh, maybe it's like a vibrator joke, like, guns like a vibrator with a woman. Eventually, you're gonna need it.

• 34:06Sam Morril?

  Ooh, that's good. Eventually, she's gonna use it.

• 34:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and it's gonna be my fault.

• 34:11Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 34:11Sam Morril?

  There we go. Okay, yeah, we got that. Yeah, Peter, sound, soundbite that so I can grab that later, whatever. All right, there's something there.

• 34:17Mark Normand?

  After my, after I let her down, she's gonna need it. Both of them, you know? In some way.

• 34:21Sam Morril?

  After I, after I piss her off?

• 34:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:23Sam Morril?

  She's gonna need it, yeah.

• 34:24Mark Normand?

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• 35:08Mark Normand?

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• 35:17Sam Morril?

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• 35:19Mark Normand?

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• 35:32Sam Morril?

  You need that protein, man. Yeah, you need that tea. You need that, you need to, yeah.

• 35:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:36Sam Morril?

  Good stuff.

• 35:36Mark Normand?

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• 36:02Sam Morril?

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• 36:47Sam Morril?

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• 37:17Mark Normand?

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• 37:47Mark Normand?

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• 38:31Mark Normand?

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• 38:53Mark Normand?

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• 39:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there's something there.

• 39:12Mark Normand?

  That's fun.

• 39:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah, anything else you're working on?

• 39:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, well, this is a big one. This is a big one. So, I'm doing this whole chunk, because we're so divided as a country, blah, blah, blah. So, I'm doing all these reasons why the left and the right are similar, instead of focusing on our differences and hating each other. Because, you know, we've got to come together, blah, blah, blah. So, I'm doing this whole thing how we're similar. The right wants to deport. The left wants to abort. We're both just trying to get rid of somebody. You know, so let's come together on that.

• 39:40Sam Morril?

  Both of us are pro-population control.

• 39:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, like the, the left-wing lady's like, "Well, hey, this baby was put into me unconsentually." And he's like, "Well, this guy snuck in too." You know, and then, you know, like, uh...

• 39:52Sam Morril?

  Snuck in is good.

• 39:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that part hits. And then, by the way, that was hard to make that not dark, you know? "I got raped." But, uh, then I got a million of them, you know, like, well, he's... This baby, she's like, "I can't afford this baby." And he's like, "Well, this guy's sucking off the teat of, of citizens," or whatever, and then, uh...

• 40:11Sam Morril?

  Tax, something with taxes, yeah.

• 40:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and she's like, "Well, it's cruel to just get rid of somebody." Talking about the immigrant, he's like, "That's what I'm saying." So they're just going back and forth, back and forth, and how it's not different. And then eventually, she's like, "Fine, I'll get rid of this Mexican baby." And he's like, "He's Mexican? Kill it." So they come together on the fact that the baby's Mexican, you know, whatever. But I, I got a bunch of back and forths on that.

• 40:31Sam Morril?

  There's a lot of common ground there.

• 40:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:35Sam Morril?

  And I like bits where you're like, bringing people to, like, "Oh, we have more in common than you thought."

• 40:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, no one's going that angle. More, everything I was like, "Fuck the right, fuck the left on either side." Let's...

• 40:44Sam Morril?

  Do you have any others for that, for that, or is it just the immigration-abortion thing?

• 40:48Mark Normand?

  Uh, I got this thing about how, um, the extreme right is like, "Hey, we'll draw a swastika on a synagogue." And the extreme left's like, "Just do it on a Cybertruck." You know, like, "We're not that different." And the extreme left is like, "Genitalia does not define your gender." And the extreme right's like, "Michelle Obama's got a dick." So, you know, if you look at it, we're kind of a horseshoe. So, these are ideas.

• 41:11Sam Morril?

  As long as she doesn't play in any sports leagues, should be fun. No, it's, it's, uh, there's, there's a lot there. That's, I think you gotta run with that, that's great.

• 41:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, thanks.

• 41:20Sam Morril?

  A lot there.

• 41:21Mark Normand?

  Thanks, yeah, but it's, it's abortion and ICE in one bit, so it's, I'm fucking tightroped.

• 41:26Sam Morril?

  But that'll excite people too, topical. I can always, you always get more leeway with topical.

• 41:31Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 41:31Sam Morril?

  I've, I've found.

• 41:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, for sure.

• 41:33Sam Morril?

  But, uh, yeah, that's good stuff. I, once I've brought down any other shit that's got any legs here, um...

• 41:42Sam Morril?

  Feel like most of my shit's, I'm just honing right now, so, but I gotta get back to the lab.

• 41:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 41:47Sam Morril?

  And work on this.

• 41:48Mark Normand?

  Well, you got a special coming out, so you gotta be focused on the old hour.

• 41:51Sam Morril?

  I am focused on it. Um, I got peeves.

• 41:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, hit me.

• 41:55Sam Morril?

  Let's do a peeve.

• 41:56Mark Normand?

  Hit me, fatty.

• 41:57Sam Morril?

  Um, let's see. I got, you know what, actually, we do a lot of peeves. Let me do a, uh...

• 42:05Mark Normand?

  An up?

• 42:05Sam Morril?

  Should I do a toast?

• 42:06Mark Normand?

  What do you call it? Toast. Hit me with a toast.

• 42:10Sam Morril?

  Honesty in social situations, like avoiding small talk. I was in the elevator today. I get in, there's two women, and they just kinda froze when I walked in. And I was kinda like, alright. And then she goes, we froze because we were talking about, um, we're talking about how much you bleed out of your vagina after pregnancy. And I was kinda like, I like that.

• 42:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I like that too.

• 42:30Sam Morril?

  I liked that you told me that. I liked that there was, uh, because like, you know, it's usually the weather, which is, it's fine. I'm, I'm not like mad at the small talk, but bleeding out of the vagina, I've never had that conversation with strangers in an elevator.

• 42:42Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 42:42Sam Morril?

  And then as they walked out, I said, resume.

• 42:44Mark Normand?

  Ahhhhh.

• 42:46Sam Morril?

  And we all got, we got a thumbs up. It was a nice moment.

• 42:48Mark Normand?

  That's great. Good for you ladies. And look, we're not grossed out by that.

• 42:53Sam Morril?

  No, not at all.

• 42:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 42:54Sam Morril?

  I'll still go down there.

• 42:55Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 42:56Sam Morril?

  So I told her, I'll still go down there.

• 42:57Mark Normand?

  Down the elevator. I love the toast thing. This is a new thing now.

• 43:01Sam Morril?

  We do, we've done it occasionally, but I, I like, you know, we always do, because I've noticed on Seinfeld, I'm sure peeve kinda came from Seinfeld on some level.

• 43:08Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 43:08Sam Morril?

  I'm always annoyed with everything, but they do say, love this too.

• 43:10Mark Normand?

  I love the toast.

• 43:11Sam Morril?

  So we should throw in a toast too.

• 43:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I had one, the salsa bar. Any restaurant with a salsa bar. I love a salsa bar.

• 43:17Sam Morril?

  I gotta fucking, speaking of that, I got a rec slash toast, aardvark hot sauce.

• 43:23Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 43:23Sam Morril?

  Phenomenal.

• 43:24Mark Normand?

  Okay, never heard of it.

• 43:25Sam Morril?

  It's, the habanero red is amazing. They got a chipotle that's great. They got a verde. It's such good hot sauce.

• 43:32Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 43:32Sam Morril?

  I put on my eggs every day. I love it.

• 43:34Mark Normand?

  I know it's a stereotype that white people like bland food, but I fucking live for hot sauce. I got like 13 hot sauces in my fridge.

• 43:40Sam Morril?

  You're a Nola guy. I feel like, that's all like spice.

• 43:42Mark Normand?

  It's all Cajun, yeah. So yeah.

• 43:44Sam Morril?

  Is that the home of Tabasco too?

• 43:46Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 43:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 43:47Mark Normand?

  Yes, well, um, I think it's, what is it, a beet of springs or something now, what's uh?

• 43:52Sam Morril?

  A beet is good beer dude.

• 43:53Mark Normand?

  Great beer, great beer.

• 43:54Sam Morril?

  Purple haze, remember that shit?

• 43:56Mark Normand?

  That's a hell of an IPA.

• 43:57Sam Morril?

  Amber?

• 43:57Mark Normand?

  Amber, yeah.

• 43:58Sam Morril?

  I remember that shit. Dude, this is, this is a, yeah, that's good ass hot sauce.

• 44:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's in the squeezy, I love the squeezy.

• 44:04Sam Morril?

  Love a squeezy.

• 44:05Mark Normand?

  Love the squeezy bottle.

• 44:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's, it's got flavor, baby.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  Mark, can you wreck Lee's Hawaiian in Lyndon Hurst's jersey, please?

• 44:13Mark Normand?

  Sure, go to Lee's Hawaiian, it's a Polynesian restaurant in Lyndon Hurst's, Salakis founded, it was a poo poo platter. It's the last one in the country or whatever, traditional, it's like a seafood tower with a flame on the top.

• 44:25Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 44:26Mark Normand?

  It's got egg rolls, shrimp toast, uh, skewers, pot stickers. And it looks insane, it's like out of a movie, it's like out of an Elvis film. There it is, we show up there.

• 44:35Sam Morril?

  It's hilarious we got the poo poo platter.

• 44:37Mark Normand?

  I know, their term, PU PU.

• 44:39Sam Morril?

  I know, but it just sounds insane.

• 44:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but they got a drink called the zombie, it comes in the big, you know, the, the big head with the straw and the umbrella. There it is. So good, uh, and uh, this own, from the sixties, same owner, you know, still running, killer.

• 44:57Sam Morril?

  Oh, I love that.

• 44:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:58Sam Morril?

  Zombie, those kind of like tropical bars, you ever, I ended up at one of those with Jim Jeffries once and we were just fucking. I saw him actually over the weekend too, we got, got a nice dinner, fun times, man.

• 45:07Mark Normand?

  Is he still sober?

• 45:08Sam Morril?

  He's sober.

• 45:09Mark Normand?

  Ah, everybody's getting sober.

• 45:10Sam Morril?

  For him, it might have been a good thing.

• 45:12Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 45:12Sam Morril?

  He, he went hard.

• 45:13Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 45:14Sam Morril?

  It was kind of impressive.

• 45:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:17Sam Morril?

  When Aussies, when you're, when you're Australian and you got a drinking problem and you had to quit, you should have quit.

• 45:23Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 45:23Sam Morril?

  Those guys fucking drank down under, oh my god.

• 45:26Mark Normand?

  It's like Irish people, when, when an Irish guy's like, you're drinking too much.

• 45:30Sam Morril?

  Totally.

• 45:30Mark Normand?

  You've gone too far.

• 45:32Sam Morril?

  I remember him, like, he'd be like fucking fifteen drinks deep on stage and still delivering.

• 45:36Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 45:37Sam Morril?

  Which is like impressive, but also you're like, that ain't good.

• 45:40Mark Normand?

  No.

• 45:41Sam Morril?

  I remember a guy heckling him once, he goes, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and you're gonna think I was a bit of a cunt? And that's the only time you're right.

• 45:48Mark Normand?

  Ah, damn, that's a good line.

• 45:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 45:53Mark Normand?

  Hold on, I had a, I had a, uh, a toast, shit.

• 45:56Sam Morril?

  I love a toast.

• 45:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, I had one.

• 45:58Sam Morril?

  I gotta do a peeve while you're thinking.

• 45:59Mark Normand?

  Do it with a peeve, because I had a, I had a toast, and I lost because of poo poo platter threw me off. By the way, I picture when you got in that elevator, it was like The Shining with the blood. With the two women? Pull that up.

• 46:12Sam Morril?

  They were two little girls, too.

• 46:15Sam Morril?

  Oh, I got one. Restaurants close from weird hours. Like, two to four. So I gotta eat lunch at 1:30 or fucking...

• 46:24Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 46:24Sam Morril?

  4:15?

• 46:25Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 46:26Sam Morril?

  I just, I, yeah, I don't like weird hours.

• 46:27Mark Normand?

  I don't either, because we're comedians. We have weird hours.

• 46:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:30Mark Normand?

  So, we're not gonna be in the traditional time zone area.

• 46:33Sam Morril?

  Also, it closed for like, places closed for like, an hour and a half. You're like, an hour and a half?

• 46:37Mark Normand?

  What, was it intermission?

• 46:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:38Mark Normand?

  Come on. Get your fucking oven on.

• 46:40Sam Morril?

  That pisses me off.

• 46:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm with ya.

• 46:42Sam Morril?

  What, what, what, what do you got?

• 46:43Mark Normand?

  I can't remember it. You said it when you said the, uh, what was your toast?

• 46:48Sam Morril?

  Oh, the...

• 46:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, the honest.

• 46:49Sam Morril?

  The annoy, the avoidance of small talk and, and having like, an actual thing? Because it's more entertaining. You have an actual moment.

• 46:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 46:57Sam Morril?

  I don't know. I guess you risk offending a person, but also like, you're not gonna offend me.

• 47:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, I got the peeve. I got it back. Thank you!

• 47:05Sam Morril?

  What do you got?

• 47:05Mark Normand?

  Alright, this should be a crime, by the way. This is beyond peeve.

• 47:08Sam Morril?

  Pedophilia.

• 47:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, that I'm okay with. But this should be, this is worse than pedophilia.

• 47:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 47:14Mark Normand?

  These cunts, these sick, twisted, cum-guzzling Nazis.

• 47:20Mark Normand?

  Domestic terrorists who do the, hey, you made a reservation, if you don't, if you don't oblige it, you get $50 charge. This is a new thing in the world.

• 47:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 47:32Mark Normand?

  This resi thing, where if you don't, you don't show up to your reservation, they charge you $50!

• 47:37Sam Morril?

  Very fucked up, but here's the counter to that.

• 47:39Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 47:40Sam Morril?

  What do they do if people just don't show up? Then, now you're at a ta, a table.

• 47:43Mark Normand?

  Okay, but what if you go... "Sorry, I'm not gonna show up." "That was my counter, because we made a reservation." When then we go...

• 47:52Sam Morril?

  Okay, what's the window?

• 47:53Mark Normand?

  I'll give you the situation.

• 47:54Sam Morril?

  Because this, this is now, you're bringing up a good point, because this is now, we don't get the same leeway. Like, I'll, I'll give you an example. I'm in DC, uh, a few weeks ago, and I call an Uber. There's a 10-minute wait in an Uber. That's annoying, right? But you're like, alright, 10 minutes, I'll wait. At one minute, they just, the guy just cancels on me. If I do that, they charge me.

• 48:15Mark Normand?

  Agreed.

• 48:16Sam Morril?

  Why don't, why doesn't it work both ways?

• 48:18Mark Normand?

  Yes, because they have all the power. We have no leverage.

• 48:20Sam Morril?

  Not, not to mention, you try to complain these days. It's fucking impossible.

• 48:23Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 48:24Sam Morril?

  I had Postmates, I ordered in food the other night, and I, and I'm not ordering in when it's super cold out, because I feel guilty. I'll go out and get shit. But when it's, it was like, a regular whatever, I order in food... Hour forty-five minutes later, I'm like, where is this shit? I don't want the food now, it's gonna be, it's gonna be cold, it's been laying around.

• 48:40Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 48:40Sam Morril?

  And they, there's just no response.

• 48:42Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 48:43Sam Morril?

  I was like, well, I gotta talk to someone, and you get this fucking AI shit now.

• 48:46Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 48:47Sam Morril?

  Where they're just like, I empathize with your problem, like, I don't give a fuck if you empathize with it. Give me a New York robot, give me a New York robot who's like, that's fucked up, let me find this right now.

• 48:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm bleeding here.

• 48:57Sam Morril?

  I hate this AI robot shit.

• 48:59Mark Normand?

  I hate it too, but it's easy for them, cuz you, you ever tried to call Uber? It's impossible.

• 49:04Sam Morril?

  They, they just, they don't employ people.

• 49:06Mark Normand?

  They don't employ people.

• 49:07Sam Morril?

  They're making so much fucking money.

• 49:08Mark Normand?

  So you gotta do like the AI app where you're texting with a guy, and it's not a real guy, and they're like, we're so sorry, but uh, but yeah, like, I could, I left my phone on Uber, I'm like, hey, can I get the answer to the Uber guy? I need the phone number for the guy who last drove me, and they're like, boop, boop, boop, we'll see what we can do, and I'm like, the guy's leaving, we're wasting time.

• 49:26Sam Morril?

  Dude, it's, it's crazy, so I'm with, I'm with you on that, I just, if it's like a mom and pop restaurant, I do feel guilty, people canceling, and now, you know, it's Saturday nights when they make their buck, so that's the one where I'm like, alright, I'm pro restaurant, I'm against these big fucking apps, who are like, and by the way, Uber owns all this shit, they own Postmates, they own Uber Eats.

• 49:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 49:46Sam Morril?

  You're just like, oh, switch to another, they're like, no, Uber owns that too.

• 49:48Mark Normand?

  Ah, well, here's the scenario, so it's Sunday, me and the wife, I'm home, cuz I did a stress factory, so I'm all home early, I say, I wake up, and I go, I'm taking you out for a hot lady dinner tonight in, in New York City, baby doll. Well, we had a, we had a nice dinner date, uh, somewhere in Soho, if you said it, I'd know it, Lower East Side area, real swanky, like, girls like to take pictures there, restaurant, you know?

• 50:13Sam Morril?

  Damn, what kinda food?

• 50:15Mark Normand?

  Uh, I believe French.

• 50:16Sam Morril?

  Ooh.

• 50:16Mark Normand?

  So, I was like, put your dancing shoes on, bitch, we are cooking tonight, we're going out. So she got the fur out, the whole thing, and, this is at like, nine in the morning, ten in the morning, we make a reservation on Resy, those twats, and then, by noon, uh, she was like, it's fucking freezing, I'm a little sick, I don't know if I wanna go out, and in my head, I'm like, great, I'll save two hundred dollars, but also, I get to stay in, I'll watch the Chevy Chase doc, I didn't wanna go out, I was doing it for her, but- I go, "Well, you might want to cancel that rez." And she goes, "Oh, yeah. Good idea." So there's still eight hours to fill the rez, and they charged her 50 bucks.

• 50:57Sam Morril?

  Eight hours is, yeah, I think, I think that's a fair window. I, I, there's a similar thing with Jim Jeffries. I picked a spot, it was a 23-hour, I, they say they want a 24-hour window to cancel. I canceled at 23, they didn't charge me.

• 51:09Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 51:10Sam Morril?

  But, which was nice of them, because, you know, but-

• 51:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, they didn't?

• 51:13Sam Morril?

  They didn't.

• 51:14Mark Normand?

  They didn't, okay.

• 51:14Sam Morril?

  He, he brought a friend of his, and they picked some fancy restaurant in the, in Soho. Some Indian place, it was fucking unreal.

• 51:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 51:23Sam Morril?

  Some really good spot, but, uh-

• 51:25Mark Normand?

  But now we spent half the day, like, calling people that we know, like, "Do you want to fill this reservation? It's a really nice restaurant." And they were like, "Oh, I can't, I'm out of town," whatever. So we're trying to fill it to save the 50-

• 51:33Sam Morril?

  And buy Taylor Swift tickets, I mean, Jesus Christ, I'm trying to get dinner.

• 51:36Mark Normand?

  I know, exactly.

• 51:38Sam Morril?

  No, it is, it is crazy.

• 51:39Mark Normand?

  But that used to not be a thing, right?

• 51:42Sam Morril?

  No.

• 51:42Mark Normand?

  It's, it's my chips and salsa, my hotel, my deluxe burger. Add that to the list. The reservation now, they squeeze you, everybody's squeezing you.

• 51:51Sam Morril?

  They squeeze you. Well, that's, it's not the restaurant, it's Rezzy, right?

• 51:54Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 51:55Sam Morril?

  So, but I guess it's, I don't know, who knows? Where does that money go? Does it go to the restaurant, or does it go to Rezzy?

• 52:00Speaker 02

  I bet it's split it.

• 52:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, so they're not gonna push on, push back on it, because they're making a couple bucks for doing zero work.

• 52:06Sam Morril?

  Sometimes you just call the place, and the, and you're like, you're like, "Well, they're okay with it." And then you can get out of it.

• 52:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, I should call the restaurant.

• 52:14Sam Morril?

  Well, if you call, like, Amex or something, and they're like, "They're cool with you waiving this."

• 52:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 52:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, some, I guess.

• 52:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, I never thought to do that. Call Amex, huh?

• 52:24Speaker 02

  Uh, you know what domestic terrorists I really hate? Are the, the guys who, like, overpack their cigarettes. This thing? They just, they hit it over and over again.

• 52:33Mark Normand?

  Ah, that bothers you?

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Not, if you do it once or twice, this is normal. But the guys are, like, really making effort.

• 52:39Sam Morril?

  What, you think it's like a nervous tic or something?

• 52:40Speaker 02

  I don't know, they're making some sort of, like, masculine statement. I don't know what it is, but I hate it.

• 52:44Mark Normand?

  Hmm, interesting. Wow, it's weird, that, that's, might be a you thing.

• 52:48Sam Morril?

  I just don't see it a lot. I feel like you just saw it and it bothered you once. I feel like it's not a common thing.

• 52:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:54Sam Morril?

  But like, no, I, I guess it would annoy me if a guy was just, like, doing that, but it's like, yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  You're not doing it any-

• 52:58Sam Morril?

  I'm not seeing this a lot.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  You're packing it better, by getting it more and more.

• 53:01Mark Normand?

  I've seen the guy with the zin who just- Knox's uh index finger all over it over and over.

• 53:07Sam Morril?

  I mean, you ever see those old pictures of baseball players who would dip and their and their fucking lip is like down here?

• 53:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love that shit.

• 53:13Sam Morril?

  That shit is not.

• 53:14Mark Normand?

  That's wild.

• 53:15Sam Morril?

  That is not healthy.

• 53:16Mark Normand?

  Pull up that Super Bowl photo where the guy's drinking and dipping, uh drinking and smoking on halftime.

• 53:21Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 53:22Mark Normand?

  And it's just a different world. I mean, all these guys died at 61. Look at that motherfucker. Jesus Christ.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Len Dykstra.

• 53:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, wasn't he in prison?

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's in prison now for gambling and not paying debts.

• 53:34Sam Morril?

  Played for the Mets, too.

• 53:35Mark Normand?

  Gambling?

• 53:36Sam Morril?

  Played for your Amazons.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right.

• 53:39Mark Normand?

  Nice. Good to have you back.

• 53:40Sam Morril?

  I'll tell you, I'm back.

• 53:42Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 53:42Sam Morril?

  I sent you some clips too, Sal Akus.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm just bringing up this Keith Hernandez smoking photo that Sam.

• 53:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 53:47Sam Morril?

  I just rewatched the Keith Hernandez Seinfeld.

• 53:49Mark Normand?

  That's a class.

• 53:50Sam Morril?

  He's a good actor, man.

• 53:50Mark Normand?

  He wasn't bad, yeah.

• 53:51Sam Morril?

  That was solid.

• 53:52Mark Normand?

  I'm not driving to the airport.

• 53:55Sam Morril?

  They're helping him move.

• 53:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:57Sam Morril?

  That's, see, that's just, that show is all peeves.

• 53:59Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 54:00Sam Morril?

  I mean, he's mad that, oh, this made me think of you, Norman. How we celebrate diversity in 1995.

• 54:07Mark Normand?

  What is this? Cartoon?

• 54:15Mark Normand?

  Oh my god. That's, oh my god. This is not real. This is too funny.

• 54:25Mark Normand?

  Did I get your tacos?

• 54:31Mark Normand?

  I think the animation is real, but the the lyrics, he goes ooga booga. There's no way that's real.

• 54:36Sam Morril?

  It was the 90s, dude.

• 54:38Mark Normand?

  Wow. Well, bring it back.

• 54:40Sam Morril?

  That's, I guess how you get away with racism. You're like, isn't this beautiful?

• 54:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:44Sam Morril?

  And then you just show ugly stereotypes.

• 54:46Mark Normand?

  Right. Wow. Ooga booga is crazy.

• 54:48Sam Morril?

  Ooga booga is crazy.

• 54:49Mark Normand?

  That's wild.

• 54:50Sam Morril?

  That's fucking bad.

• 54:52Mark Normand?

  It's a whole continent, too. These three guys represent South Africa, East Africa, Nairobi, Kenya.

• 54:58Sam Morril?

  These little kids, like, isn't acceptance great?

• 55:00Mark Normand?

  Uh, Egypt is in Africa, by the way. Oh, that's hilarious. Three guys. Whole continent.

• 55:07Sam Morril?

  What else we got?

• 55:07Mark Normand?

  Ooh, that's good stuff.

• 55:09Sam Morril?

  Which one's this?

• 55:09Speaker 02

  News series? I didn't watch it.

• 55:11Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, I don't, I remember the name of the show. This is crazy.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Is that Carrie Bucy's son?

• 55:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, wow.

• 55:32Mark Normand?

  Shasta McNasty.

• 55:34Sam Morril?

  Not to mention that, like, classic dance they do.

• 55:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:36Sam Morril?

  They had, like, I feel like you had to do that in a sitcom back in the day.

• 55:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right? Wow, I've never heard of that.

• 55:41Sam Morril?

  I don't know how long this show lasted, but like, holy shit.

• 55:44Speaker 02

  This is like one step away from Ooga Booga, like, that joke could be in here.

• 55:47Mark Normand?

  That's, uh, Mary, uh, Rednitski, no, what's her name?

• 55:50Sam Morril?

  Yes, yes.

• 55:51Mark Normand?

  Uh...

• 55:51Sam Morril?

  From 24.

• 55:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:52Sam Morril?

  She's a comic.

• 55:53Mark Normand?

  She was a comic, yeah.

• 55:54Sam Morril?

  She is a comic.

• 55:54Mark Normand?

  She is a comic.

• 55:55Sam Morril?

  Dude, uh...

• 55:55Mark Normand?

  She's at the store all the time.

• 55:56Sam Morril?

  But it's amazing that, like, you look at this shit, you're like, oh, this got made.

• 56:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 56:01Sam Morril?

  And think of all the shit we've had.

• 56:02Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 56:03Sam Morril?

  That's been passed on.

• 56:04Mark Normand?

  That's true. Oh, UPN, that's why. UPN was the bottom of the barrel of networks.

• 56:10Sam Morril?

  What does Shasta McNasty meet? What is it?

• 56:13Mark Normand?

  I assume he's a rapper, and these are his buddies or something? Does Jeff Ross is in it, Vern Troyer's in it? Whoa. Rice Club. Marissa Rice Club, what's that lady's name?

• 56:25Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 56:27Mark Normand?

  She's an LA comic. She's funny.

• 56:28Sam Morril?

  Mary Lynn, uh...

• 56:30Mark Normand?

  Mary Lynn Rice Club.

• 56:31Sam Morril?

  Rice Club, yeah, she's funny. I like her.

• 56:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, she's good. Wow, Shasta...

• 56:35Sam Morril?

  She's great on 24.

• 56:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, and I think Janine was on that.

• 56:39Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 56:39Mark Normand?

  Carofalo.

• 56:41Sam Morril?

  Damn. Okay, this one, have you seen this shit?

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  Boy, you got quite a, uh...

• 56:44Sam Morril?

  I had three, I had three locked and loaded. They're also from, like, previous episodes, but we just had shit to talk about.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  You ready?

• 57:11Mark Normand?

  What'd he say?

• 57:13Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna marry a girl who's 13 years old.

• 57:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 57:15Sam Morril?

  It's every rock song in the 50s.

• 57:17Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 57:20Sam Morril?

  That's pretty good, yeah.

• 57:20Mark Normand?

  That's great. Is he a comic, or is he a?

• 57:22Sam Morril?

  He must be. That's fucking wild.

• 57:24Mark Normand?

  That's great. See, that's what's great, like, movies have kinda, comedy movies are going by the wayside, but these guys are picking up the rear.

• 57:31Sam Morril?

  What shout out is that? What is it?

• 57:33Speaker 02

  Kyle Gordon is great.

• 57:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's a funny ass video.

• 57:36Mark Normand?

  Very funny. He's got a million of them. Look at this guy. He's doing the work.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  A million views, a million views, a million views.

• 57:42Sam Morril?

  Oh, he's cooking. He doesn't need our help, damn.

• 57:44Mark Normand?

  Alright, well, hey, funny's funny. Good for you, Kyle.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  Can you shout us out, Kyle?

• 57:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, shout us out. You're bigger than us.

• 57:51Sam Morril?

  What do we got? Any other peeves? I got a few, I think.

• 57:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, that resi thing really pissed me off.

• 57:58Mark Normand?

  What?

• 58:03Mark Normand?

  Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you on mic?

• 58:07Speaker 02

  He said, get a reservation, get a $10 prepaid credit card only, give them that, and they hold that, and they can only ever take 10 bucks.

• 58:15Sam Morril?

  Isn't that like, fuck up, oh prepaid, I guess your name's not even on it.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:19Sam Morril?

  Is that, are you allowed to do that?

• 58:21Mark Normand?

  Fuck 'em. I'm doing it.

• 58:22Sam Morril?

  No, I wonder if they, I would think they would ask for a name.

• 58:26Mark Normand?

  Ah, it's Matt's Alchemist.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  I think they just ask for a card, right? The card number.

• 58:29Mark Normand?

  I guess so.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  As long as it goes through, they're like, great.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  You can make virtual cards with your name on it.

• 58:34Mark Normand?

  Oh. Thank you. I'm doing it.

• 58:37Sam Morril?

  I got one more peeve.

• 58:38Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 58:40Sam Morril?

  People who hit you with one of these, "It's crazy you've never done this."

• 58:44Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 58:45Sam Morril?

  And you're like, "No, it's not, it's not."

• 58:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:47Sam Morril?

  You're in like, you know, Chicago or something, like, "You haven't been, that's crazy, you got," I'm like, "No, it's not crazy."

• 58:53Mark Normand?

  I don't live here.

• 58:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 58:54Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 58:54Sam Morril?

  I've been here many times, I've done a lot of stuff.

• 58:57Mark Normand?

  Yes. Yeah, I'm with you on that.

• 58:59Sam Morril?

  It's cra- they're like, just maybe like, "You have to do it."

• 59:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's fine. Don't make me feel bad for not doing the random thing that you're into.

• 59:06Sam Morril?

  How about this, "Oh, you should do that. That's fine."

• 59:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:08Sam Morril?

  It's cra- that's fucking crazy, you've never, you're a dumb piece of shit.

• 59:12Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 59:12Sam Morril?

  For never having done it.

• 59:13Mark Normand?

  I do that to my wife. "That's cra- you never been to the gym?"

• 59:17Mark Normand?

  No, I hate that.

• 59:18Sam Morril?

  You've never tongued my asshole? That's crazy.

• 59:20Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 59:20Sam Morril?

  That's crazy.

• 59:21Mark Normand?

  You've never been there.

• 59:24Mark Normand?

  You gotta get a resi to my asshole if you wanna eat.

• 59:27Sam Morril?

  We booked the date. If you can't, then you gotta pay me.

• 59:29Mark Normand?

  Fifty bucks, or eat my ass.

• 59:33Mark Normand?

  I hate the, uh, I've probably said this before, but the guy who goes similar to this, he goes,

• 59:40Mark Normand?

  you go, "Oh, I've never, uh, I never knew that." You didn't know that?

• 59:43Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 59:43Mark Normand?

  That's kinda why I said, "I didn't know that." Now you have to double down on me? "I didn't know that." You didn't know that? That's why I said I didn't know that.

• 59:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Yeah, it's like the, it's like, the people who are like this, "You haven't seen this movie?" Oh, God.

• 59:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I haven't seen every movie.

• 1:00:00Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:00:00Sam Morril?

  There's a couple of blind spots.

• 1:00:01Mark Normand?

  Exactly. Just happens to be your favorite movie. I haven't seen it. I'm sorry.

• 1:00:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, how about, "Oh, you'd like it." That's great.

• 1:00:07Mark Normand?

  That's it.

• 1:00:08Sam Morril?

  You'd like it.

• 1:00:09Mark Normand?

  God, I know nothing about our next guest. I'm nervous.

• 1:00:13Sam Morril?

  We'll figure it out.

• 1:00:14Mark Normand?

  Ah, yeah, we'll make it work. He's very charming.

• 1:00:18Sam Morril?

  Charmed, charmed.

• 1:00:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we'll make it work. He was in Jumanji.

• 1:00:22Mark Normand?

  Was he?

• 1:00:23Sam Morril?

  One of them, I think, isn't he?

• 1:00:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:00:26Sam Morril?

  He's been in some, he's been in a lot, he's in that Bad Teacher show on BBC. He's in a lot of shit.

• 1:00:30Mark Normand?

  All right, all right, all right.

• 1:00:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we'll be fine.

• 1:00:32Mark Normand?

  Now, where are you at on TV? Like, would you do TV?

• 1:00:36Sam Morril?

  Like, make my own show?

• 1:00:38Mark Normand?

  No, like, if, uh, if Blackish was like, "Hey, we got a part," you gotta audition. Does that do anything for you?

• 1:00:44Sam Morril?

  If they gave me a part, I'd be like, "Maybe," but yeah, I don't, auditioning takes the whole fucking day.

• 1:00:49Mark Normand?

  Takes the day, not to mention if you get it, you gotta fly out there, then you're in it for-

• 1:00:52Sam Morril?

  Not to mention you get there, they're like, "Blackish has been off the air for 10 years."

• 1:00:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, shit, I thought I was still on. What does that say?

• 1:00:58Sam Morril?

  I might still be. I feel like it's not on.

• 1:00:59Mark Normand?

  I don't think it's on. But that's how little I know about TV. If somebody was like, "That's been going for 20 years," I'd be like, "Oh, all right."

• 1:01:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I just, uh, how long, is it off?

• 1:01:09Mark Normand?

  Six seasons.

• 1:01:10Sam Morril?

  That's a good run it had, though.

• 1:01:11Mark Normand?

  That's a damn good run in this climate.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  2022, 2014 to 2022.

• 1:01:15Sam Morril?

  Well, you know, um, yeah, I think I would like, love to make a show, but that's, I like, I like acting and shit I make. I don't love, uh-

• 1:01:25Mark Normand?

  Same.

• 1:01:25Sam Morril?

  I don't, I'm not like dying to just be an actor. It's kinda boring.

• 1:01:28Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:01:29Sam Morril?

  Unless you love them, unless it wasn't like some awesome, or like an awesome director or something.

• 1:01:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. But if they flew you out there, you're in this for, it's a 22 minute show, so then you're in it for three minutes maybe, if you're lucky. Is that gonna move a ticket? Is that gonna sell anything? I mean, you get to meet one of the, what is it, Laurence Fishburne, that's kinda cool.

• 1:01:49Sam Morril?

  Is he on that show?

• 1:01:50Mark Normand?

  I'm looking at the guy in the blue suit.

• 1:01:52Sam Morril?

  I didn't know he was on it. Yeah, he's a great actor. I mean, uh, yeah, man. I, I, I think it's like, whatever.

• 1:01:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, here's a peeve.

• 1:02:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:01Mark Normand?

  Enough with the pills. You know, people go, he's been red-pilled, he's been blue-pilled, he's been black-pilled, he's been white-pilled. He's on the pill. Blue chew. Enough with the pills. I'm sick of hearing about pills. Everybody's been pilled.

• 1:02:13Sam Morril?

  Red-pilled. What, what's white-pilled?

• 1:02:16Mark Normand?

  White pill is like, is positive. I think things are gonna work out.

• 1:02:20Sam Morril?

  I never heard that one.

• 1:02:21Mark Normand?

  I think I might've made that up, but, oh, white pill.

• 1:02:24Sam Morril?

  It's on optimism.

• 1:02:25Mark Normand?

  Optimism!

• 1:02:25Sam Morril?

  I've never heard it.

• 1:02:27Mark Normand?

  Cause it's, no one's fucking happy anymore. Everybody's.

• 1:02:29Sam Morril?

  Is black pill the opposite?

• 1:02:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, black pill's like, all over, we're doomed anyway, might as well not try, it's all going down the shitter.

• 1:02:36Sam Morril?

  Uh, so there's red?

• 1:02:39Mark Normand?

  Black, white, blue.

• 1:02:41Sam Morril?

  And no others?

• 1:02:42Mark Normand?

  I'm sure there's others that we don't know about.

• 1:02:44Sam Morril?

  Brown pill? That's when you start shitting everywhere?

• 1:02:48Mark Normand?

  I guess.

• 1:02:48Sam Morril?

  What else?

• 1:02:50Mark Normand?

  There's gotta be more pills, but everybody's on some pill, which is, I guess, fitting, cause we're all on medication.

• 1:02:57Sam Morril?

  Are you on any meds?

• 1:02:58Mark Normand?

  No!

• 1:02:59Sam Morril?

  You don't take anything?

• 1:03:00Mark Normand?

  I take stuff to sleep.

• 1:03:02Sam Morril?

  What do you take?

• 1:03:03Mark Normand?

  Uh, shit, what's it called?

• 1:03:06Sam Morril?

  Like THC?

• 1:03:07Mark Normand?

  Well, I take that, but I also take a thing, it's a schizophrenia drug. Starts with an O.

• 1:03:12Sam Morril?

  O?

• 1:03:13Mark Normand?

  If you said it, I'd know it. Uh...

• 1:03:16Sam Morril?

  Okay, sorry, I'm looking at the pills.

• 1:03:17Mark Normand?

  What pills, uh, are there any other pills? I think I got all the pills.

• 1:03:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:21Mark Normand?

  But aren't you glad you don't, I know guys who wake up, take Adderall, then they take an anti-anxiating whatever. Then they take, uh, shit to go to bed. It's like to come down off the Adderall.

• 1:03:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's me without the middle stuff.

• 1:03:33Mark Normand?

  Well, the anxiety stuff's the worst, cause...

• 1:03:35Sam Morril?

  Anxiety, like, have you, have you ever had a panic attack? I feel so fucking bad for those people.

• 1:03:39Mark Normand?

  I think I have once in college. That was it. It was hell.

• 1:03:41Sam Morril?

  I think I had like, one or two, and I was like, this is crazy.

• 1:03:44Mark Normand?

  It's crazy. You think you're gonna die. I was pouring sweat.

• 1:03:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:47Mark Normand?

  I was like, the room was spinning.

• 1:03:49Sam Morril?

  So like, if you need that shit, take a fucking pill. When did that happen to you? I smoked, I took an edible and it was like, I had a full on, like I was on the floor, like hanging on for dear life.

• 1:03:59Mark Normand?

  But that's not a panic attack, that's brought on by a drug. I'm talking about like, when you're like, trying to perform or you're trying to fall asleep and you just start sweating, you're like, what the fuck is going on?

• 1:04:06Sam Morril?

  One time, I drank a shitload of coffee and one time I think I just really overdid it. And I was on stage, it happened to Vitor too, I think it was the altitude in Salt Lake.

• 1:04:14Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:04:15Sam Morril?

  And we both were like, what the, I got off stage, I was like, I was like, shortness of breath, I like couldn't fucking, I don't think the crowd knew, but I got off and Vitor's like, I told him and he goes, yeah, me too, holy shit. I was like, we're freaking the fuck out.

• 1:04:28Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:04:28Sam Morril?

  It's weird when it happens during a set, cause you're like, just fucking smile and keep doing the jokes, everything's cool, but you're freaking out a little bit.

• 1:04:35Mark Normand?

  Woo, yeah, that's scary. I only had one in college. I was in community college, I failed out of college, barely got into community college. My life is hanging on by a thread, I was an alcoholic, my parents hated me, I was a loser. Community college, I'm staring at a math test, I don't know any of what any of it means. It's all fucking Greek hieroglyphics, algebra with all, and I knew I wasn't gonna pass this test. I wasn't gonna pass the class, I was gonna fail out again, and it all kept crashing down. I was staring at the test and I kept seeing drops of sweat hit the page.

• 1:05:08Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:05:09Mark Normand?

  And I was like, oh god, oh my life, I'm a loser, I'm going to hell, I'm going nowhere. And I just, you know, spazzed out and put my head down. And then the guy, the teacher was like, you okay? And I was like, I need some air. And I walked out and I was like, ah, and then I came out of it. But I failed the class and everything.

• 1:05:27Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:05:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it sucks when there's nothing you can do to console yourself, cause reality is just, is what it is.

• 1:05:35Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:05:35Sam Morril?

  You're like, this is gonna happen.

• 1:05:36Mark Normand?

  This is it.

• 1:05:37Sam Morril?

  That's what I was thinking with JP yesterday, I was like, I'm trying to be positive, I'm making jokes, like, you know, I was like, thank god you're not Sebastian, your career would be over, you know, but you don't move around on stage anyway. I'm trying to like, say fun things, you gotta smile.

• 1:05:47Mark Normand?

  That's cool.

• 1:05:48Sam Morril?

  And he was, he was, he was in good spirits, but you're like, oh no, but you will be, and this is just reality. And he understood it. I mean, it's like, it sucks when you're like, this is what it is.

• 1:05:57Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:05:57Sam Morril?

  There's no getting around it.

• 1:05:58Mark Normand?

  That's it, it's like a funeral, this is it. It's, she's dead, they're dead, whatever. That's the reality. It's sad, but true. But you know what's so sad, these math tests? I would just write in numbers and like, scratch stuff out. And then like, write a six with an X on top, and then I'd do a fraction. I made it look like I tried, even though it was all, it was all fake. It was all just random letters I put in, just till, till the teacher was like, "Oh, okay, he's trying."

• 1:06:25Sam Morril?

  That's even sadder.

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  It's so sad! It's so sad, I'm so bad at math.

• 1:06:29Sam Morril?

  Cause he could see through that immediately.

• 1:06:31Mark Normand?

  Of course, but I was fucking nineteen. I've been there though, where you're like, "Maybe I can outsmart the teacher." Show your work! I've been there. Yeah. Oh, show your work is the worst, cause they're like, "None of this makes sense." None of it, none of it.

• 1:06:42Sam Morril?

  And you're just like, "Yeah, I was trapped."

• 1:06:45Mark Normand?

  Literally like a Goodwill Hunting type problem on that page, and I'm like, "I will, you could put a gun in my mouth, uh, uh, cocaine in my ass, I have ten years, I'll never figure this out." Ten years! So yeah, I just had a panic attack. I like that teacher, who puts a gun in your mouth, "You fucking idiot." "This isn't helping." This is not helping, yeah. "Oh, fuck." That would be great, if he put the gun in my mouth, I'm like, "T equals eight squared!", like I just figured it out.

• 1:07:11Sam Morril?

  Did you ever see this?

• 1:07:12Mark Normand?

  I've seen this. Ah, this is, uh, this is funny, because this is what comedy used to be. And at some point, this became offensive.

• 1:07:19Sam Morril?

  Do you wanna set it up, Mark? What it is?

• 1:07:20Mark Normand?

  Uh, this is Howard Stern.

• 1:07:22Sam Morril?

  Artie and Norm, and, and Artie was on Mad TV, he did some racial shit on that show.

• 1:07:28Mark Normand?

  Are you kidding?

• 1:07:28Sam Morril?

  That's my white mama.

• 1:07:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, Artie or Howard?

• 1:07:31Sam Morril?

  Artie.

• 1:07:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, Artie, yeah, yeah, Artie had a lot of, he's from Newark.

• 1:07:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah. So he pitched a skit, uh, on Mad TV that didn't run, it was called, uh, Good Will Smith Hunting.

• 1:07:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:45Speaker 04

  On Mad TV, they would have to, like, find two things. I pitched a thing called Good Will Smith. Good Will Smith. And he worked at an all-black college, and, you know, the, the, the problem on the blackboard that I was, was two plus two.

• 1:08:03Speaker 04

  Hard to believe why this one didn't make the show. SNL's got a very different writer's room.

• 1:08:14Mark Normand?

  Also, happy Black History Month, everybody. Oh, wow. Good point. Boy, did you see this trend going around? Rosa Parks' husband had a car? And everybody's pissed about it, and I'm like, "Maybe we shouldn't have waited until February 1st to break this puppy out."

• 1:08:29Sam Morril?

  That's hilarious.

• 1:08:29Mark Normand?

  But it's going viral. "That bitch, her husband had a car the whole time. It's all bullshit."

• 1:08:34Sam Morril?

  Whatever. You got a fucking car. You take public transit? That's...

• 1:08:37Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:08:38Sam Morril?

  Gives a shit.

• 1:08:38Mark Normand?

  I know. It's just a funny idea that she's like, "I'm taking the bus." He's like, "I'll give you a ride." She's like, "I wanna take the bus."

• 1:08:44Sam Morril?

  The one day.

• 1:08:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:46Sam Morril?

  The one day, he was like, "I'm not."

• 1:08:48Mark Normand?

  But what I love about that sketch with Artie Lange, obviously it's offensive, obviously it's horrific and racist and all that. But Norm is this comedic genius. I would say he's like up there with like the great comedy minds of our time, and he finds that funny.

• 1:09:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Mark Normand?

  I love that.

• 1:09:02Sam Morril?

  It's just so absurd.

• 1:09:03Mark Normand?

  It's so absurd.

• 1:09:04Sam Morril?

  And it is so offensive. That's why he's laughing.

• 1:09:07Mark Normand?

  Exactly, exactly. But people are like, "How could you laugh at that, huh?" It's like, because it's ridiculous.

• 1:09:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:12Mark Normand?

  You know, that's why I think people lose sight of comedy. You know, they're looking for some moral compass. I'm like, "Well, it's like a fat guy swimming on a banana peel."

• 1:09:21Sam Morril?

  Some of the Howard shit, though, you're like, "Yeah, this is not aged."

• 1:09:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, dude.

• 1:09:25Sam Morril?

  Very well.

• 1:09:26Mark Normand?

  Blackface. I mean, you can pull it all up.

• 1:09:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, not great.

• 1:09:30Mark Normand?

  Do you see that video going around now of Uma Thurman looking smoking hot?

• 1:09:34Sam Morril?

  So hot.

• 1:09:35Mark Normand?

  So hot in the 90s, and still hot, but this is a 90s clip. And he's like...

• 1:09:39Sam Morril?

  That pole fiction haircut's coming back. I see a lot of women rocking that bob now.

• 1:09:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, the bob. Yeah, all right.

• 1:09:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:46Mark Normand?

  Um, but, so she's on Howard Stern, looking great, and he's like, "What were you doing with Ethan Hawke?" He's like, "Way shorter than you." And she's like, "He's a little shorter than me. It's not that big of a deal." And he's like, "Yeah, but he cheated." And she goes, "So what?"

• 1:09:59Sam Morril?

  She was forgiven.

• 1:10:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, she's on mic. Like, she's not gonna trash the guy, but...

• 1:10:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and they share kids, probably. I mean, you know, it's like, I think you just gotta be diplomatic and that. Mark Nadel, we don't have to watch it.

• 1:10:10Mark Normand?

  But yeah, look at it. She looks great.

• 1:10:12Sam Morril?

  I mean, uh, but yeah, it's like, you know. Yeah, five... How many years were they married? Five years, you say?

• 1:10:20Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:10:20Sam Morril?

  You know, that's, that's kind of divorce goals.

• 1:10:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:24Sam Morril?

  You want, you want to be on good terms with the person, you know?

• 1:10:27Mark Normand?

  Well, wouldn't you say in our culture now, and maybe I'm getting too dramatic, I feel like we have a forgiveness problem.

• 1:10:33Sam Morril?

  Totally.

• 1:10:34Mark Normand?

  You know, and so it's kind of cool, I'm not saying you should cheat on your wife, or you should, uh, or even forgive the guy.

• 1:10:40Sam Morril?

  If she was like, yeah, that was fucked up.

• 1:10:41Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:10:41Sam Morril?

  I wouldn't have even judged that, but it's, that is cool that she can, that she's like, oh, I'm not holding on to that, my life has moved on.

• 1:10:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so you don't see that now, now it's like, how, what can I get out of this, uh, I'm a victim, you know, cancel this guy, go at him, whatever it is, vice versa, men and women.

• 1:10:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, our ex-husband and kill Bill shot her in the head, so this is nothing.

• 1:11:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 1:11:02Sam Morril?

  Right?

• 1:11:02Mark Normand?

  Carradine?

• 1:11:03Sam Morril?

  Carradine, yeah, he shot her.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  I, uh, I heard a comic talking about, I don't remember what the punchline was, but the setup was amazing, that you should have to re-up every five years in marriage.

• 1:11:11Mark Normand?

  James Smith, I told you this.

• 1:11:13Speaker 02

  Oh, you told me, tell me then.

• 1:11:14Mark Normand?

  He said a wedding should be like a cellphone contract. Every two years you check back in, like, you still into Verizon? And you're like, yeah, man, let's do another two years.

• 1:11:24Sam Morril?

  James Smith has some great shit.

• 1:11:25Mark Normand?

  Such a great point.

• 1:11:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, uh, great point, and like, you've heard people say it other ways, he, he found it in a clean way.

• 1:11:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was, he was the, always the most succinct punchline.

• 1:11:35Sam Morril?

  He was smooth.

• 1:11:36Mark Normand?

  Oprah was like, so, uh, bah, whatever the celebrity, why, why would you want to cheat on your wife? Why do men want to cheat on their wives? It was like this whole episode about why, and he's like, we want to fuck other chicks.

• 1:11:47Mark Normand?

  That was the whole joke.

• 1:11:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:48Mark Normand?

  Or the whole punchline.

• 1:11:49Sam Morril?

  But he said it like, oh, Oprah, I think it's because of.

• 1:11:51Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:11:52Sam Morril?

  He said it like, it was like, there was going to be this profound answer, and then he just, yeah, I mean, he, uh, he is always hilarious.

• 1:11:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:59Sam Morril?

  And a great guy.

• 1:11:59Mark Normand?

  And the Australian accent made it funnier.

• 1:12:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:02Mark Normand?

  He had that great bit about therapy, he's like, stop, people always want to tell you, probably, you know when you go, how you doing, they go, actually, my back hurts, he's like, I was, I was just being polite, mate, I don't really give a fuck. He's like, that's why your therapist charged you 2.50, that's how much it costs to hear your shit.

• 1:12:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:15Mark Normand?

  2.50.

• 1:12:16Sam Morril?

  So you know it's an old bit, that that's what a therapist in New York cost back then. Yeah. Holy shit.

• 1:12:21Mark Normand?

  Is that low?

• 1:12:22Sam Morril?

  Not these days, probably.

• 1:12:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:12:24Sam Morril?

  I haven't been in therapy in a while, but.

• 1:12:25Mark Normand?

  Wow, I haven't either.

• 1:12:27Sam Morril?

  In New York, holy shit.

• 1:12:28Mark Normand?

  Wow, Alan was not charging me that.

• 1:12:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:31Mark Normand?

  But he was a man of the people.

• 1:12:33Sam Morril?

  He was.

• 1:12:33Mark Normand?

  But you know, I fired him because uh...

• 1:12:36Sam Morril?

  Fire him?

• 1:12:37Mark Normand?

  Well, I stopped going.

• 1:12:38Sam Morril?

  You stopped going? Mark's like, "I'm sorry, this isn't working out."

• 1:12:42Mark Normand?

  You're outta here!

• 1:12:42Sam Morril?

  "We're letting you go."

• 1:12:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:44Sam Morril?

  He's like, "Yeah, don't give a shit, I'm giving you a deal." "I'm fine letting you go."

• 1:12:48Mark Normand?

  I'm like, "Get outta here!" He's like, "It's my office."

• 1:12:49Sam Morril?

  "I'm no longer paying you forty dollars an hour to listen to my shit."

• 1:12:52Mark Normand?

  That's exactly right.

• 1:12:53Sam Morril?

  Meanwhile, meanwhile, Mark, you know he's sliding jokes in there out of insecurity. Mark's like, "Oh, fuck, I'm boring him right now." Uh, uh, uh, fuck, let me try a...

• 1:13:02Mark Normand?

  You know me well.

• 1:13:02Sam Morril?

  Oh, I did it too. I would, I would slip, every once in a while, I'd be like, "Oh, I know there's a comic in here before, let me try to bring the heat a little bit."

• 1:13:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was a great bit. I remember that bit.

• 1:13:10Sam Morril?

  I have to.

• 1:13:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I was doing abort, deport on him. He didn't care for it, but he, he was always like, "You should assert yourself, you should assert yourself." And then one day, up my prices, because we had, I had a special come out, and he goes, "Yeah, I saw the special, I saw your tonight's show, I think, I think you're doing pretty well, I think it's time to up the prices." And I said, "I don't think so, Jack." And he said, "Uh, well, I think it's only fair to bring it up to here." And I said, "I'm asserting," and I never went back. So he fucked himself by teaching me how to assert.

• 1:13:37Sam Morril?

  Mark is so cheap that he neglects his mental health.

• 1:13:41Sam Morril?

  I like that he's like, "I'm charging slightly more." Mark's like, "No." Mark's like, "I would rather be fucked up than give you slightly more money."

• 1:13:48Mark Normand?

  That's a bit.

• 1:13:49Speaker 02

  What you don't know is that was a test to see if you graduated out of therapy, and he won.

• 1:13:54Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:13:54Speaker 02

  You graduated.

• 1:13:55Sam Morril?

  Hey, babe.

• 1:13:56Mark Normand?

  Well, I saved the money, so who's the real winner?

• 1:13:58Sam Morril?

  I don't think it was a test. I think he was like, "You're cheap and you're underpaying me because I'm sliding scale."

• 1:14:03Mark Normand?

  Uh, well, I never went back. So you come back down.

• 1:14:07Sam Morril?

  He's a good man, Alan.

• 1:14:08Mark Normand?

  He's a good guy.

• 1:14:09Sam Morril?

  A very good man.

• 1:14:10Mark Normand?

  But here's the question: if I, uh, get caught on Epstein's list, and my, my career goes in the shitter, and I'm doing the, the Yahoo Hut in Dicktown, PA, is he gonna lower the price? If I go up in, in career, he raises it. If I go down in career...

• 1:14:24Sam Morril?

  No, I think he would've. Yeah, I think he would've.

• 1:14:26Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:14:26Sam Morril?

  I also think, I wonder if there's someone on Epstein's list who's seen the therapist? Like, is Woody Allen, he's in therapy, is he like, "Oh, God, I'm very stressed this whole list, it's making me crazy, I'm so, I'm so nervous, they, they mentioned my name, it's horrible." It's a horrible thing to do to someone.

• 1:14:41Mark Normand?

  Well, put the pin in that, the first Sam impression of all time.

• 1:14:45Sam Morril?

  I've done impressions.

• 1:14:46Mark Normand?

  Have you?

• 1:14:47Sam Morril?

  Dangerfield?

• 1:14:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, geez, you're right, you're right. Alright, well, you got two.

• 1:14:51Sam Morril?

  I got two. Was it good?

• 1:14:52Mark Normand?

  That was great!

• 1:14:52Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:14:53Mark Normand?

  That was great, he did a wholesome area.

• 1:14:54Sam Morril?

  I've watched a lot of Woody.

• 1:14:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, same.

• 1:14:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, Woody with his therapist on Epstein's aisle, that's a sketch. Put that in your pipe and smoking Kyle Gordon. Oh shit, we gotta wrap up.

• 1:15:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah, where are you headed, Mark?

• 1:15:07Mark Normand?

  Uh, when's this come out?

• 1:15:08Sam Morril?

  This comes out when? We should put this out soon, right? We did some topical shit.

• 1:15:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:13Speaker 03

  Do you wanna keep pushing Madigan?

• 1:15:15Speaker 02

  We have Madigan on the 8th.

• 1:15:16Mark Normand?

  Oh shit, I forgot.

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  And then no guest on the 15th.

• 1:15:19Mark Normand?

  We could use a lady.

• 1:15:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, let's do it, Madigan then this.

• 1:15:21Speaker 02

  Okay, so for the 15th.

• 1:15:24Mark Normand?

  Okay, I will be.

• 1:15:25Sam Morril?

  And then our guest last week, right?

• 1:15:27Speaker 03

  For a little.

• 1:15:28Sam Morril?

  Okay, great.

• 1:15:28Speaker 03

  Whitehall might need earlier.

• 1:15:30Mark Normand?

  Alright. I'll be in Arizona, Flagstaff and Swahili at the Desert Diamond Casino, Indianapolis, Helium, running that new set, Buffalo Helium, we're gonna add a show there, baby.

• 1:15:41Sam Morril?

  Beautiful.

• 1:15:42Mark Normand?

  Portland, Maine, and Providence at the Vets, one of the great theaters, Lexington, Kentucky, Comedy Off Broadway, Amazing Club, Fort Lauderdale at the Improv, and Raleigh, North Carolina, and what is this? Oh, Comedy Store LA, that's already sold out, that's the Netflix Fest, I'll be out there with Sammy the Bull himself, Molson, oh, okay. Molson, Cana, Canadian Center at a casino, I don't know what town that was, Salkey's moved it, Spokane, Washington, Amokton, New B, NB?

• 1:16:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:17Mark Normand?

  What's NB? No, that's Canada.

• 1:16:21Sam Morril?

  Nebraska?

• 1:16:21Mark Normand?

  Nuvo Brunswick.

• 1:16:23Speaker 02

  That's gotta be Canada.

• 1:16:25Mark Normand?

  It's gotta be Canada, but I've never heard of it. Is it New Brunswick and a Nuvo Brunswick?

• 1:16:28Sam Morril?

  No, Nebraska's NE, right?

• 1:16:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, NE.

• 1:16:30Sam Morril?

  Hey, yeah, so all I really have right now is Tampa Theater, February 26th, I think that show might be sold out, maybe not, and then we have, because the other two are sold out, and then we have Los Angeles, when is Los Angeles? May 7th, United Theater with Jordan Jensen, Joe List, and Rachel Fiennes, it's gonna be a lot of fun. Rare LA appearance for me, it's gonna be a great time, get on that. Lisbon, August 30th, more European dates will be coming, I'm announcing soon, so we'll see if I'm coming to your place, and...

• 1:17:02Mark Normand?

  Is there still time to buy seats to this one show in Tampa on the 27th?

• 1:17:06Sam Morril?

  Possibly, possibly, yeah, and then I, you know, I got a lot of... A lot of stuff I will add, so I've neglected that, but I'll get on it. Get some Bodega Cat, guys. Some Bodega Cat Whiskey, bodeacatwhiskey.com. And our Instagram, Bodega Cat Whiskey. Message it if you want. We're coming to every state, really.

• 1:17:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's gonna be all over before you know it. I mean, we're already in the biggies. And every club we do is gonna have it, so come on by. Stress Factory, it was moving. Like, they were selling cases of it.

• 1:17:37Sam Morril?

  I love it. Maybe that'll... Yeah, I mean, it's a great sign, dude.

• 1:17:40Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah. All right, folks. Thanks. We'll see you in hell. Get some bodega. Go nuts, comedy.

• 1:17:45Speaker 04

  Sunday's the day for my next fender. A bit of Pivo rec, you know the future's close. I've had a little too much bourbon and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope. And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way. We might be true.

• 1:18:31Speaker 05

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