Ep 244: Mike Lawrence & Mike Veccione

Mike Lawrence and Mike Vecchione join Mark and Sam for a wild one, covering everything from the grind of early NYC comedy and insane club stories to working with Brian Cox on a TV project. They rip through movie hot takes, bad reviews, Fight Club myths, Sopranos deep cuts, Will Smith’s awkward rap comeback, and why some comics should have “died at 50.” They swap roast battle war stories, gripe about plane etiquette, parenting peeves, and the curse of referrals, while pitching the dark side of Paw Patrol and debating whether Epstein really killed himself. Sponsored by: Sign up for your $1/month Shopify trial: https://www.shopify.com/DRUNK Start your free online Hims visit: https://www.hims.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #MikeLawrence #MikeVecchione #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Sam Morril?

  We're back. We're joined by a very old and good friend, the hilarious Mike Lawrence.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Hey, what's up?

• 0:13Mark Normand?

  Hey, Mike!

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Hey, how are ya?

• 0:15Mark Normand?

  Maybe my oldest comedy, well, Veder's the first guy I met in comedy. You might have been second or third.

• 0:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Veder's up there for me oldest, too.

• 0:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. He was around.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Mo Pitkins?

• 0:24Mark Normand?

  Mo Pitkins, the pit.

• 0:26Sam Morril?

  I walked by Otto Shrunkenhead the other night. I was just going to-

• 0:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:30Sam Morril?

  I was going to bars with Todd Barry, which I don't know which is sadder.

• 0:35Sam Morril?

  We walked by and I was like, fuck, that was a bad room.

• 0:37Mark Normand?

  What do I gotta do to get booked around here?

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember you coming with Zach Sims. And I've told people the story of, he was funnier at first.

• 0:49Mark Normand?

  He was great.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  And you just worked so hard and found your voice.

• 0:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, thanks. Yeah, well, he's still around, he's still cooking, but he was-

• 0:57Sam Morril?

  Zach had that funny joke about how he's always the one, when he goes out with his friends, "Put the goat down." I love that bit. Yeah, he did funny shit.

• 1:06Mark Normand?

  He had a great joke about his stepdad had a gun on his hip, and he's like, he also had an extra clip. You know, for all the gunplay, he's gonna get it with, I butcher it, but it was-

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And, you know, well, we didn't do him justice there, but-

• 1:19Mark Normand?

  No, no, but he's great, and uh-

• 1:21Sam Morril?

  Everyone in the comments like, "Fuck that guy."

• 1:22Speaker 01

  He's also alive, yeah, he is alive.

• 1:25Mark Normand?

  He started before me, so he knew how to do comedy, and I was trying to catch up.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  But you guys lived together, and you traveled together. Well, Sean Patton came first.

• 1:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was the Mecca. Hey, go follow Sean Patton. He's there. He's the beacon of hope.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  He's the, yeah, he's the best ever, I think, in-

• 1:42Sam Morril?

  I love Sean.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  Of, like, not of all time, but of like, guys that I came up with and worked with.

• 1:49Mark Normand?

  Unbelievable.

• 1:49Sam Morril?

  You're a great storyteller.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  I think like, you know, those cabin sets and stuff, like, I don't think anyone else where I was like, I don't think I'll ever be that good.

• 1:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Like, Sean was that guy for me.

• 2:01Mark Normand?

  New stuff every week. He would command that room. We'd all stand back there, and it was a judgy- Room of comedians and he's still killed with all of us.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:10Mark Normand?

  Beast.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm get, like whatever people say about Kinison at the store.

• 2:15Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  That was padded at cabin for me.

• 2:18Mark Normand?

  Well, he's one of those guys too, kind of like a Rory Scoville where you can't capture him with a camera.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:23Mark Normand?

  You kinda have to be there, which is a, a problem for a comedian, cause you wanna blow up and get exposure.

• 2:28Sam Morril?

  I remember they did that article on him, like how late night sets didn't capture him and it's so.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:33Sam Morril?

  You can't, you can't put a leash on a guy like that.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  He doesn't have any bits that are five minutes?

• 2:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 2:36Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Well, his whole thing is, he loses you and then he gets you.

• 2:40Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  But he loses you for a long time. And in five minutes, you just lose.

• 2:47Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  You can't get.

• 2:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  This whole thing would be, you know, it was amazing to watch the, the hole he would dig for himself, even in front of people who knew and liked him. He would still find a way to alienate them just to win them back.

• 3:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:02Sam Morril?

  Which is, which is a skill, I mean.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a masterful skill.

• 3:04Sam Morril?

  It's such a skill, it's like.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:06Sam Morril?

  The, the, the keeping people at a distance and then the fucking, the hook.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  And it's especially a skill when you're coming up where you just wanna be liked so badly.

• 3:13Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  And you're like, he doesn't care if they don't like him.

• 3:17Sam Morril?

  He has that great story about, uh, getting thrown out of the strip club after he had the breakup. And it's this long bill, but the turn is how the guy threw him out, he's like, why are you throwing me out? He goes, I just can't have you crying in here. But that turn is like, oh, fuck, you're just waiting for like.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:33Sam Morril?

  What did he do?

• 3:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:35Mark Normand?

  He had that eight minute bit about falling in love and finding the woman of his dreams.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:39Mark Normand?

  Now they're living together and he's gonna propose to her and then at the end he's like, I don't have a girlfriend. I made it all up.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  I think it would be funny is you would, you would see a bit and then you'd wanna see it again and then he just wouldn't because he's doing something completely brand new.

• 3:52Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you're just like, oh, man.

• 3:55Sam Morril?

  Which is almost like a, a bad thing, I mean, you like.

• 3:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:58Sam Morril?

  You wanna see someone hone, but that was hard in the early days if you're around the same comics, it's hard to, it's hard to tweak a bit.

• 4:05Mark Normand?

  Totally, totally.

• 4:06Sam Morril?

  Cause you're, you're in your head, you're like, fuck, they're judging me for doing this bit again.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  And me and Mark would see each other ten times a week.

• 4:12Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  Sometimes and just and then you would then you would like just perform for him, you know, or you perform for me because we were the only people that would be the consistency.

• 4:23Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  And I wanted you to like me.

• 4:26Mark Normand?

  And these new queefs, they have it so easy because they can just put shit online. We had to build it in front of each other.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  I think there's good and bad to that.

• 4:33Mark Normand?

  I agree. I agree. I think it's better to build, but they don't have to go through that pain, that awkwardness.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you have to know who you are more quickly now. That sucks. Like the wilderness years are gone of just being able to take risk and find yourself.

• 4:47Sam Morril?

  I loved that I was at like, you know, Broadway in the comic strip because no one saw me.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:51Sam Morril?

  No one who mattered saw me. So I was like, I don't want comics to see me.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  It's important.

• 4:55Sam Morril?

  I I remember Mike Di Stefano, R I P Mike, hilarious guy. One of my favorite jokes ever when he had a remember that pity had was his agent's like fax me a bio. He's like, bio. I scream at strangers in a bar for a living. What did you do before that? I was a drug counselor. What did you do before that? I was a drug addict. What did you do before that? I was 12.

• 5:15Sam Morril?

  That's a great joke.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  That's phenomenal.

• 5:17Sam Morril?

  But he was like, just hide, just hide as long as you can. You don't want comics to see you. And then when you come out of nowhere, they'll be like, oh, who's this guy? As opposed to like, you know, that's the one issue with starting in a in a big pond like New York where you just like, people are like, does that guy still suck? It's like, no, sometimes they get better.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'll talk about somebody and not realize that like you last saw them like during Obama's first term.

• 5:41Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  You're like, oh, he always does that thing. And I'm like, I don't know if he does.

• 5:46Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Dude, remember, remember the night that Obama got inaugurated in 2009 and we we went up to Harlem?

• 5:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  You and me. And you made fun of this comic. You, he was doing sound, the guy was doing sound effects. So then Norman called him Police Academy?

• 6:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Michael Winslow.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  And the guy.

• 6:07Mark Normand?

  He pulled me to the side.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Oh, it was hilarious.

• 6:09Mark Normand?

  I remember he had a cream colored suit, like a yellowish.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  It wasn't by the, it was the very yellowish by the end.

• 6:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  And brownish and dude, it was so funny.

• 6:19Sam Morril?

  And he was gonna kick your ass.

• 6:19Mark Normand?

  He was like, I'll kill you, motherfucker. Like, you don't talk shit about me.

• 6:22Sam Morril?

  He's doing act outs. He's like, I'll fucking stab you. And then I'll shoot you.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz the white confidence we had that night. Because it was like the happiest that audience had ever been and we're like, we can get away with it. Cuz I remember I went up, I had a great set and Norman was doing great, but then he made fun of the guy. And tho- you know, those guys, it's not the same.

• 6:42Mark Normand?

  No.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Of like camaraderie. It's like, no, you're taking money out of my pocket.

• 6:46Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes. But I thought, hey, I would say this to a white guy, I'll say it to him. And there was not.

• 6:50Sam Morril?

  We went up there together once, right? Was it Mocha's Lounge?

• 6:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:54Mark Normand?

  Smokey.

• 6:54Sam Morril?

  Smokey, yeah.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Smokey Suarez. I remember one time, I was bombing so bad that the odor just stands up, looks me in the eyes and goes, "You done."

• 7:06Sam Morril?

  Damn dude.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  I would've loved if he beat you up and as he's doing punching.

• 7:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Like the old Batman. Pow, Sam, clap.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  I'm gonna automata pee at your ass.

• 7:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that Mocha's Lounge was wild cuz they would let you on.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:25Mark Normand?

  And there was no rhyme or reason to it. It was no lineup or anything. You're like, you're on now.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:29Mark Normand?

  So you'd go up and you'd do your thing. And then if you bombed, he would shit on you and your whole look and your whole act.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. But he let anyone up. That was the funny was, we were used to the alternative places in Brooklyn and stuff where they do the first part, but not the second part. They judge you and make fun of your act, but they don't put you on stage.

• 7:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was basically.

• 7:51Sam Morril?

  That is the difference between white and black people, I think, right there.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  They'll give you a chance.

• 7:54Sam Morril?

  It was like quiet versus like fuck you.

• 7:57Mark Normand?

  It was inclusive, but insensitive.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  And it was always funny going with different white comics, seeing who would code switch.

• 8:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  And there was, oh, and if, and if I went with somebody who code, I could never look at them the same way again.

• 8:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, he would, you would either go blacker or you'd go whiter.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:14Mark Normand?

  Those are your options. Like, oh, good, Gee Willikers, what am I doing up way up north, oh boy, you know? Or he'd be like.

• 8:20Sam Morril?

  This motherfucker knows what I'm talking about.

• 8:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, shee, up top.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Do you know where the Magical Johnson Theater is?

• 8:27Sam Morril?

  Oh, boss, shit, oh god.

• 8:31Mark Normand?

  Play this. Get the car closer so I can cut him.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  He's, he's going blacker for sure. Yeah.

• 8:38Mark Normand?

  He did crack, so I'll give him a couple, couple black moments.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  I mean, some of the guys in the audience would become Israelites, just not the kind he is.

• 8:48Mark Normand?

  He had the Fat Farm shirt on.

• 8:50Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 8:51Mark Normand?

  Even the shirt is code switching.

• 8:54Sam Morril?

  And let's be real, doing crack is kind of code switching as well.

• 8:57Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  I got cross colors.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Damn. What was that show, right? White Boys in the Hood?

• 9:06Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  That was like a whole thing that was just that.

• 9:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Kurt Metzger, Big J, they all did it.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Joey Gay did it, yeah.

• 9:13Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 9:14Mark Normand?

  And there was Apollo too, you could do the Apollo New Talent Night.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Can you imagine if you were like a white comic that did well in those rooms all the time and you didn't get booked on that show? And you're like, what is there for me? If I don't have this, if I can't get White Boys in the Hood.

• 9:30Sam Morril?

  Well dude, Diddy had that one too, remember?

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:33Mark Normand?

  What?

• 9:34Sam Morril?

  Diddy had his own, it was like Bad Boys of Comedy.

• 9:36Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, pull that up.

• 9:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 9:43Sam Morril?

  I mean, I guess you're not using that credit anymore.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:46Mark Normand?

  I guess not.

• 9:47Sam Morril?

  Maybe you are, he is innocent.

• 9:48Mark Normand?

  I would judge it.

• 9:51Sam Morril?

  Innocent of trafficking.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  You don't do a setup, you just lube the punchline.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  How y'all doing, Brooklyn?

• 10:01Mark Normand?

  Uh oh, this guy looks nervous already.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  You know what, I'm glad to be here, y'all, but uh, I had to go to the dentist, right? And get my partials and shit hooked up. Cause one day, all my TV just start falling the fuck out. I ain't bullshitting, I was, I was talking to a motherfucker one day and I see.

• 10:19Sam Morril?

  This is the sound effects guy?

• 10:20Mark Normand?

  No, no, he was dressed better.

• 10:24Mark Normand?

  This guy's great, cause he could be on a corner in New York, just getting changed and killing.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  That guy has the same smile Mark would have had if that guy punched him.

• 10:31Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true, yeah.

• 10:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah dude.

• 10:35Mark Normand?

  He would zing ya, he was basically Kill Tony, he was Kill Smokey.

• 10:41Mark Normand?

  Just trash your whole act.

• 10:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude, Mike and I are, we're, we're like in the process of waiting to see if we sold a show. I feel weird even talking about it since it hasn't gone through yet, but like, we've been working on the show for 18 months.

• 10:52Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 10:53Sam Morril?

  And we got Brian Cox attached.

• 10:55Mark Normand?

  Woo!

• 10:56Sam Morril?

  And we're still having trouble.

• 10:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the industry, you stink.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  It has been so fun working with Sam because I feel like such like a LA sellout Sherpa. Cause I have, I've had to like, explain to him how lazy the industry truly is.

• 11:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, hey.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Cause you were like the most proactive guy I've ever seen. It'll be like, you know, Monday and he's like, they haven't called back. I'm like, they're not gonna call back for three weeks.

• 11:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, you do get impatient. That's Hollywood, man.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Like, he's Jewish and he's found out there's other holidays they celebrate.

• 11:36Sam Morril?

  You know what's crazy is like, they're just insanely lazy. And you can't, if you follow these people on Instagram, you're gonna want to kill yourself. Cause you're like Turks and Caicos again, it's a fucking work week.

• 11:47Mark Normand?

  I know, it's crazy.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  That's my show money. Really say we can't afford it and I'm like, go to Turks or Caicos.

• 11:56Sam Morril?

  I saw, I saw Bezos' wedding, I'm like, dude, that could have fucking been three seasons of our show. Come on, we're waiting on Amazon, we're like hoping, but you know.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Every time a spaceship goes up, that's fucking eight, eight pilots.

• 12:10Mark Normand?

  Katy Perry.

• 12:12Sam Morril?

  Dude, we're like waiting on it and it's, uh, just to get Brian Cox attached is insane. Like, we got, we got him based on, he thought the script was funny.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Zoom calls with us from like 11pm his time, he's in Scotland.

• 12:24Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Doing a play, so he does a full play and then he's like, he's so fun in person.

• 12:31Sam Morril?

  He's so cool.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  I haven't seen him, but like, but like when you talk to him, he's just, I, I like this character because he is an asshole. A proper asshole.

• 12:40Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 12:41Sam Morril?

  He's supposed to play my biological father on the show, is that's, I mean, he's a terrible person. And the, he, he's my biological father, a narcissist, but we made him charming in the show. So, it's fun, it's a fun character.

• 12:54Mark Normand?

  What about a production company shooting it? And then trying to sell it. Cause I know you guys don't want to fund it.

• 12:59Sam Morril?

  It's probably the next step if we don't sell it.

• 13:02Mark Normand?

  Don't go right to them. Go to someone who could shoot it.

• 13:04Sam Morril?

  But you know, we're saying I'm impatient. It has been 18 months.

• 13:07Mark Normand?

  No, no, but this is TV.

• 13:09Sam Morril?

  It's TV, man.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  It was amazing, like, the thing that made me really love, you know, I've always like been a fan of Brian Cox and like, you know, he's in one of the best superhero movies, X2 and Super Troopers.

• 13:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, great in that.

• 13:23Sam Morril?

  25th Hour, Zodiac.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  He's a guy.

• 13:26Mark Normand?

  Adaptation.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  We were, you know, I was watching like, you know, those Vanity Fair things where they talk about their whole career. And he was like, for years, people would look at me and be like, who are you? And he's like, that doesn't happen anymore. Now I am Logan Roy.

• 13:39Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 13:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, yes.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  But I remember there was like an article about him and Jeremy Strong.

• 13:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Like the difference between method and non-method where he's like, I just, the camera comes on and I'm Logan.

• 13:51Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  And Jeremy would be like, you know, he would like call him dad and stuff like.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  I always, I always love like the, the met, you know, the, the, the famous, right, Laurence Olivier.

• 14:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Dustin Hoffman story.

• 14:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:05Mark Normand?

  I don't know that one.

• 14:06Sam Morril?

  Well, you know, he stayed up for like three days, Dustin Hoffman, you know, he's like, I had to be, you know, I'm getting tortured. I have to be a mess. You know, in the scene and Laurence Olivier is like, my son, have you tried acting?

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:16Sam Morril?

  That's the line.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  The best was Jared Leto on the, on the set of Suicide Squad. You know, was sending like rat feces and like chicken heads and stuff. And there was an article and it was like Viola Davis is having none of Jared Leto's shit. Like she just went up to him and said, knock it off, Jared.

• 14:35Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  I remember, I remember there was a story where on the set of Morbius, like, it's funny, if you've met it for a bad movie, it's like, what's the point?

• 14:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  But apparently.

• 14:45Sam Morril?

  You don't hear about Rob Schneider going, he really was a European jigsaw this time.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  But um.

• 14:51Mark Normand?

  See the Andy, the, the, what is it, Jim Carrey?

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:55Mark Normand?

  Everybody hated him.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Oh, dude, Milos, Milos Forman, within that, in that, he's like, Jim, can, can we please do another? I'm not Jim, I'm Andy. And then he, and then he's just like, okay, Andy.

• 15:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  This guy did Amadeus and one flows over the cuckoo's nest.

• 15:11Sam Morril?

  I understand, I understand, like, staying in an accent or something, but like, staying in character to me is, it does seem a little.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  But, but the Morbius thing was, you know, before he becomes the living vampire, he's a guy on crutches. He would use the bathroom in crutches and it would stall production for forty-five minutes.

• 15:29Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  And you know, when you're like the producers and stuff, there's overtime and stuff like that.

• 15:34Sam Morril?

  There's a story about Marlon Brando doing that where he was, he wanted to be cranky, so he stayed in an actual hospital bed for like six weeks? And was rude to the nurses and you're thinking like, I'm sure someone could have used that hospital bed.

• 15:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:46Sam Morril?

  Hospitals are fucking overcrowded.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  What year was it? Cause it might have been two.

• 15:52Sam Morril?

  That's true.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  That's true, holy shit. He got fat. Well, dude.

• 15:55Mark Normand?

  What about the guy playing a pedophile? Does he go method? I was at a summer camp, but it's for the role.

• 16:00Sam Morril?

  Cox has played a pedophile, so I hope not.

• 16:03Mark Normand?

  No. That's why Jeremy Strong was called him daddy.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  We, uh. When I was with him, those boys were Jeremy Week.

• 16:12Sam Morril?

  I loved, yeah, I love interacting with him though. He's like the coolest dude and he, uh, one of my favorite parts is like, you know, we're, we're selling this, trying to sell this show and we have our friend Matt, who's a production guy and we, we really like him, but he's keeps pushing the show as, you know, it's, it's the male biological clock and Mike and I were like, yeah, yeah, but there's other stuff. It's like a father-son show and Matt's like, it's the, the male biological clock. No one's done that. And we're like, eh, it's like weird to say, you know, with women, they might, they might be pitching to women. They're gonna be like me. And he's like, no, trust me. So we're on a pitch and, uh, and he goes, and we do our thing and then he goes, and it's also the male biological clock. And Brian Cox goes, what?

• 16:49Speaker 01

  He's like, that's, that's horse shit.

• 16:51Sam Morril?

  That's not, that's not a thing. Just like fucking Cox.

• 16:56Mark Normand?

  That's great. He, by the way, shout out to McDonald's for hiring him too. He seems so not McDonald'sy, but he's kind of brought like.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  He's Scottish. He's probably a part of a clan called the McDonald's.

• 17:07Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's true. That's a good point.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  He was in Braveheart, yeah.

• 17:12Mark Normand?

  Was he?

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's funny, you don't see him as Scottish, like, cause his voice is just his.

• 17:18Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Like, it doesn't have like a thick accent to it or anything.

• 17:21Mark Normand?

  It's not like groundskeeper Willie.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 17:23Sam Morril?

  Oh, I love the other part, was we're talking about all the characters in the show, and he goes, "It's just a joyful show, it's fun as hell, and this Sam character is just so pathetic." And I go, "That one, those are actual real stories, most of those, that's actually my life."

• 17:35Speaker 01

  I would never want a son like this.

• 17:39Sam Morril?

  No, he's, oh dude, he's in Troy, he's Agamemnon, he's in so much shit.

• 17:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:43Sam Morril?

  Manhunter, Hannibal Lecter.

• 17:45Mark Normand?

  He's the original Hannibal Lecter.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  That, I mean, to me, it's like, I would, I would rather be that than a movie star. Where there's no, there's no pressure on you when, you know, box office comes. You just get to be good and shit, go home early, you do, eat whatever you want.

• 18:01Sam Morril?

  You didn't have to promote stuff for years.

• 18:03Mark Normand?

  It's kinda like Gary Oldman. He's just quietly killing it, no one ever thinks of him in like the Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise world.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  But if you ask me who the best actor of our generation is, I might say Gary Oldman. Because he becomes the characters.

• 18:17Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  You don't even know you're watching Gary Oldman sometimes.

• 18:20Mark Normand?

  That's true. He's Commissioner Gordon, but he's also a Rasta guy in True Romance.

• 18:24Sam Morril?

  He was actually, that character was on White Boys in the Hood, if you want. No, he was, he's hilarious.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  And so's his Fifth Element character for some reason, you know.

• 18:32Sam Morril?

  He did lean into that a little.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  But Chris Tucker with the, you know, rolling, uh, paint roller on his head was, was hosting that episode, so it's okay.

• 18:42Mark Normand?

  He would go on Drag Race.

• 18:43Sam Morril?

  Kind of an underrated movie, actually, Fifth Element.

• 18:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love Fifth Element.

• 18:46Sam Morril?

  That's a fun one, dude.

• 18:47Mark Normand?

  And, uh, Mia Jovovich.

• 18:48Sam Morril?

  Ooh.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Did you, did you ever see Valerian? That, that was that guy's attempt to make another one like that, uh, Luke Basson.

• 18:55Mark Normand?

  Never heard of it.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  It's, I, I love an expensive bad movie. That's unique, like, this movie, like... Rihanna plays an amorphous, shape shifting jellyfish?

• 19:06Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 19:08Sam Morril?

  They offered it to Marlon Brando.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  And yeah, it's funny when you see the poster is that.

• 19:13Sam Morril?

  Holy shit.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:15Sam Morril?

  This looks like Avatar.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  The opening of the movie is one of the most beautiful openings I've ever seen in a movie. The first six minutes are like phenomenal, but you, but here's why the movie doesn't work. The poster, like, look at the, the two leads, Dane DeHaan and, and Cara DeVigney or whatever. They're supposed to be like hardboiled film noir-ish cops in their thirties.

• 19:36Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  And it does not work because the thing is, a lot of times, like especially European directors, they're so just obsessed with the visuals.

• 19:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  That they don't think about the acting.

• 19:45Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 19:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, yes. Wow, I never even heard of it. This looks crazy high budget.

• 19:51Sam Morril?

  Look up the Rotten Tomatoes there, Selah Kees.

• 19:54Mark Normand?

  I like those. Look at those wacky aliens.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  Jupiter Ascending also was the Wachowskis.

• 19:59Sam Morril?

  I remember the name. Oh, yeah. And they both transitioned, right?

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:04Sam Morril?

  Both dudes both became women.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  No, you watch that movie, you go, women directors, huh?

• 20:10Speaker 01

  No man would ever make this film.

• 20:13Speaker 04

  So the Rotten Tomatoes in this is forty-seven and the audience is fifty-three.

• 20:17Sam Morril?

  I mean, it's not horrible though.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you know what though? That's a better forty-seven than a lot of forty-sevens because like I said, like, he, he funded some of it himself, like Megalopolis. He got all these investors and everything like, he did make the exact movie he wanted to make.

• 20:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  And I would rather watch that than, you know, and I am like, you know, comic book fan and everything, but, you know, the Marvel made by committee movies, like this movie has stuff in it you wouldn't see anywhere else.

• 20:43Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Because only he could come up with it.

• 20:46Mark Normand?

  I prefer that as well.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:48Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna check this out.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  It's, it looked like, yeah, so the one on the left is the Rihanna jellyfish.

• 20:54Mark Normand?

  The blue?

• 20:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, that's Rihanna.

• 20:56Mark Normand?

  What? What a waste of Rihanna.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  No, she, she becomes Rihanna.

• 21:00Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, also, but that's, that's her.

• 21:02Mark Normand?

  This is her after getting beat up by Chris Brown.

• 21:07Mark Normand?

  Black and blue.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  S, S, S, N, M, M.

• 21:13Mark Normand?

  She did an umbrella on the block.

• 21:15Sam Morril?

  It is such a like artsy director thing to be like, we're gonna cast one of the world's hottest women and we're gonna make it look nothing like her.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  It's such a French, we take the Rihanna and now she's this jellyfish.

• 21:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:27Mark Normand?

  I'd be on her.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  No, that happened after Chris read the script. You're gonna do what? You're leaving me for what?

• 21:35Mark Normand?

  They're gonna need a Valium.

• 21:39Mark Normand?

  Valerian, what is a Valerian?

• 21:41Speaker 01

  It is.

• 21:42Mark Normand?

  Is that a made up word?

• 21:43Speaker 01

  I think he's Valerian, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, but it's like, that dude, right, it's just, it looks like what a European thinks an American would look like.

• 21:51Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, totally.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  That guy was in everything for a few, he was in Chronicle, he was in the, the second Spider-Man.

• 21:59Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Amazing Spider-Man 2, yeah.

• 22:01Mark Normand?

  Isn't that where these guys were in everything? What was that guy from Ex Machina? He's also in The Revenant, he's also in...

• 22:07Sam Morril?

  Oh, Don Malgleyson.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:08Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 22:09Speaker 01

  He's Brendan Gleeson's son.

• 22:11Sam Morril?

  Who was like, we literally wrote the role for Brian Cox, but we were like, we had to like, prepare ourselves for him saying no. So we were like, Brendan Gleeson's name came up.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:19Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 22:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I love him.

• 22:21Mark Normand?

  In Bruce?

• 22:23Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, he's amazing.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  I'm sure those guys take each other's roles all the time.

• 22:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 22:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true, true.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Although, I think, I think Brendan Gleeson's a little bit younger. He did, he did SNL, like, a few years ago.

• 22:36Sam Morril?

  He was funny.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was. I, I liked like, having, you know, a character actor on that show.

• 22:41Sam Morril?

  Dude, have you seen the movie The Guard? Huge rec. It's Brendan Gleeson and Don Cheadle, it's fucking great. Great, great comedy.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Banshees of Inisherin was great.

• 22:51Mark Normand?

  I loved it.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  And he's so good in it.

• 22:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I like movies that are like, it's just straight up a play, basically.

• 22:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:58Sam Morril?

  It's incredible.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  It was Martin McDonagh, right? He used to play right, yeah.

• 23:02Mark Normand?

  The dialogue was good, the characters were great.

• 23:03Sam Morril?

  That's a great comedy right there.

• 23:04Mark Normand?

  I've never even heard of this.

• 23:05Sam Morril?

  It's fucking awesome.

• 23:07Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 23:08Sam Morril?

  Highly underrated.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 23:10Sam Morril?

  I think it's by McDonagh's brother.

• 23:12Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 23:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 23:14Mark Normand?

  Jeez, yeah, the Irish. Funny people.

• 23:17Sam Morril?

  Good, good at dark comedy.

• 23:18Mark Normand?

  Irish and black, is that they're a funnier combo? Maybe Jew.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Well, black and Chinese for three movies.

• 23:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, yes.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  They got three movies out of that.

• 23:27Mark Normand?

  Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

• 23:30Sam Morril?

  Oh, did you pull up that Scottie Pippen thing I sent you? What is that? Let me see it. I sent this a few weeks ago when you just had it.

• 23:36Mark Normand?

  By the way, Rush Hour has disclaimer on it now.

• 23:38Sam Morril?

  What is it?

• 23:39Mark Normand?

  A lot of these jokes are outdated.

• 23:40Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 23:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's what the disclaimer says.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  It says like, the buddy comedies of the 90s were a different time.

• 23:45Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 23:46Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 23:46Mark Normand?

  Funny.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. If that allows people to air it, that's fine.

• 23:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Disney Plus, like Aladdin, it's, you know.

• 23:53Sam Morril?

  How about you just look at the year it was made and you're just...

• 23:55Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. We gotta say smoking now, too. It just went, it'd be like nudity, rape, smoking.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. But don't worry, the smoking was blurred out. We kept all the raping, but the smoking, you don't see it anymore.

• 24:07Sam Morril?

  There's a rape scene afterwards, the guy takes out a cigarette, the mom covers your eyes.

• 24:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 24:11Sam Morril?

  It's too much.

• 24:12Mark Normand?

  There's a movie, uh, they do movies in the park by my house in Brooklyn now. Yeah. And it was, uh, Pride Month, so all the movies were gay themed. And one of them was Call Me By Your Name. Which has that crazy jizz in the peach moment.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:23Mark Normand?

  As we all know. But I thought, I don't know if they would show a straight jizz in a peach. Yeah, in the park. It seems a little naughtier.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  You mean if the peach was straight?

• 24:33Mark Normand?

  Yes. It just feels like they wouldn't show, like, two, two guy and a girl fucking.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:38Mark Normand?

  It's too crazy, but gay gives it a little artsiness to it.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Man, I love that you're rehearsing for your next Rogan appearance.

• 24:47Mark Normand?

  Am I wrong?

• 24:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think, uh...

• 24:49Speaker 01

  You can't show straight fruit?

• 24:51Mark Normand?

  Well, I'm not saying the fruit, I'm saying... What is a straight fruit?

• 24:56Sam Morril?

  Straight fruit? Bisexual.

• 24:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:59Sam Morril?

  I feel like an apple's a pretty straight fruit.

• 25:02Mark Normand?

  That's true. Apple a day.

• 25:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 25:04Speaker 04

  So Sam sent me this clip.

• 25:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's just Scottie Pippen just lost his mind. I love this. Just posting this.

• 25:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 25:13Sam Morril?

  What does the comment say? The caption?

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Lots of craziness in the world. Tell me something good, Aunt Tree son.

• 25:20Sam Morril?

  I feel bad for the person who had to film this for him.

• 25:23Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 25:23Sam Morril?

  His friend's like, just get me, just get me walking on this.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm partially saying this as a wrestling fan, but athletes aren't meant to live after 50.

• 25:33Mark Normand?

  True.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  No good comes of it.

• 25:35Mark Normand?

  No, no. Just go, go into a tower like, uh, Michael Jordan. He just invests in things quietly.

• 25:42Sam Morril?

  And gamble till 5 a.m.

• 25:43Mark Normand?

  And gamble, that's fine.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  He has to die the way his dad did.

• 25:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 25:49Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 25:50Sam Morril?

  You think that was, it must have been his fault.

• 25:52Mark Normand?

  That was a hit.

• 25:52Sam Morril?

  Fuck, that's, imagine being Michael Jordan and you fucking got your dad killed.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:58Sam Morril?

  That's crazy. You have everything.

• 26:01Mark Normand?

  And you know the conspiracy theory.

• 26:01Sam Morril?

  I mean, that's what they say, right?

• 26:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:03Speaker 04

  Is that right?

• 26:04Speaker 01

  They're actually making a movie of it and Brian Cox is playing Michael Jordan's dad.

• 26:09Mark Normand?

  McCosky's driving, email drivers. Uh, damn, that's crazy. It's kinda like, uh, Will Smith. You see he rapped in London, everybody's trashing it.

• 26:18Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, it's brutal. Have you seen the clips of him rapping? They're pretty.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  I saw the pretty girls rap.

• 26:23Mark Normand?

  That was it.

• 26:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, pull it up.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  I like pretty girls. It is the most like if a gay person had to write about pretending to be straight.

• 26:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I love pussy.

• 26:36Mark Normand?

  I eat it up like taffy.

• 26:40Mark Normand?

  Loose lips like ships.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, you could rap this in Pauline's voice.

• 26:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh wait, no, he does a live thing.

• 26:48Sam Morril?

  Okay. No, no, let's see this for a sec first. This is pretty rough.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:53Mark Normand?

  Chris Rock should come up and slap him.

• 26:55Sam Morril?

  It's literally like everyone's calling him gay and he's like, we got my next, we got my next song.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  You think if he slaps him again, it's like a sitcom?

• 27:02Sam Morril?

  He'll go back to being normal.

• 27:04Mark Normand?

  He'll go back to Stefan. Oh, look at the sweater and everything. Come on. You know Jade is going, this is why I fucked your friend.

• 27:15Mark Normand?

  Oof.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  It is, it is brutal.

• 27:17Mark Normand?

  Poor guy.

• 27:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's pretty gay.

• 27:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and just not catchy and no one cares.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Well, then he also, he did one where it was like him playing a bunch of different characters and they're all commenting on Will Smith. It's a rap about, you know, people say this about Will Smith and people say that and it's, but it's like, he's trying to do like the, the barber shop in, um, Coming to America where it's like he's all the different, it's,

• 27:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, I see what you're saying.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  It's embarrassing, yeah, yeah.

• 27:47Mark Normand?

  Uh huh, uh huh.

• 27:50Speaker 04

  Just nobody's excited about this.

• 27:52Mark Normand?

  That's so crazy because he's one of the most famous people.

• 27:57Sam Morril?

  He's like fifty-five, fifty-six. If he died at fifty, he would have been good, too. Yeah.

• 28:01Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 28:02Sam Morril?

  That was what... Right before the Chris Rock slap. It's like, man, he went out well. Yeah.

• 28:06Mark Normand?

  He won an Oscar that night, too.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  It's a fun game to play, when they should have died.

• 28:10Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  You just take a celebrity and you guess the, the, the biggest moment that they could have died.

• 28:15Mark Normand?

  I like it.

• 28:17Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  So Brando, Brando. But he, I...

• 28:21Sam Morril?

  This guy's...

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Seventy-three.

• 28:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Right after Godfather.

• 28:25Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  But before the weird Oscar thing.

• 28:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, with the name American?

• 28:29Speaker 01

  With the American and John Wayne. Get her off the stage, pilgrim.

• 28:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:34Sam Morril?

  Oh, a guy's watching, so we'll watch... This is a good review. By the way, this is what it's been... We are now watching a guy watching Will Smith.

• 28:40Mark Normand?

  Not yet, now we are.

• 28:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 28:47Mark Normand?

  I actually thought this was pretty good. This is off the cuff.

• 28:51Sam Morril?

  This is not off the cuff.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  This makes you realize how important Uncle Phil was to his life.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Without that guidance.

• 29:06Sam Morril?

  Dude, he had such a run in the nineties, though. Holy shit.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  His career now is if he was raised by Ben Vereen.

• 29:13Mark Normand?

  How did Jazzy Jeff win?

• 29:16Sam Morril?

  How did Carlton win?

• 29:17Mark Normand?

  I love Carlton.

• 29:18Sam Morril?

  Fucking Alfonso Biero?

• 29:19Speaker 01

  You're watching, you're watching now and you're just like, man, I miss the Wild, Wild West.

• 29:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, those were good times.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  I love when he wrapped the plots of the film.

• 29:27Mark Normand?

  Yes, welcome to Miami.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:30Mark Normand?

  He did the, the Men in Black rap.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. You come to M I B's.

• 29:34Mark Normand?

  He's hosting, uh, the new America's Funniest Home Videos, by the way.

• 29:38Sam Morril?

  That's probably a good gig.

• 29:39Mark Normand?

  Great gig. You show clips, you make some singers.

• 29:41Sam Morril?

  Seems like a nice guy, too.

• 29:42Mark Normand?

  Ah, I'm sure he's banging some MILFs. He's having a great time.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  I used to love how damning the theme song was, where it was like, "America, this is you."

• 29:52Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Look what you've become.

• 29:53Mark Normand?

  Guy gets kicked by a Shetland pony in the nuts. That's America, baby.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  It's not unusual to see that that's his family.

• 30:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a good-looking fam.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 30:07Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  I mean, he was Silver Spoons before.

• 30:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  Been at it forever.

• 30:12Sam Morril?

  He's a good comic actor.

• 30:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's great.

• 30:14Sam Morril?

  I like when they would have, like, didn't they have an episode where he got shot?

• 30:17Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 30:18Sam Morril?

  They would take weird turns on that show.

• 30:20Mark Normand?

  They went to the hood. Well, every sitcom had to have the serious, crazy, learn something episode.

• 30:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and then the serious like, "I wish I was stronger," and then like a hug or something.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  Well, they had the one where it was like, he gets like, um, mocked at the black fraternity.

• 30:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  And he's like, you know, "But why, I'm just as black as them."

• 30:41Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  And then Phil is like, "When will they ever learn?"

• 30:46Mark Normand?

  Phil was great, dude.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  He's the best. Shredder, James Avery.

• 30:50Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 30:50Sam Morril?

  No shit.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was the voice of Shredder in the original Ninja Turtles.

• 30:54Sam Morril?

  Is he still alive?

• 30:55Speaker 01

  No, no, he passed away like, years ago.

• 30:58Mark Normand?

  He's like a phenom.

• 30:59Speaker 01

  You wanna see something amazing? Um, James Avery, Reginald Vel Johnson.

• 31:05Mark Normand?

  Whoa, worlds colliding.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  You're damn right. Yeah, James Avery, Family Matters.

• 31:09Mark Normand?

  This is like Batman versus Superman.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:11Sam Morril?

  What, what are we doing here?

• 31:12Mark Normand?

  Hey, Mike!

• 31:13Sam Morril?

  Mike, come join us, buddy.

• 31:18Mark Normand?

  There he is, Big Phil. Mike Beckione, everybody.

• 31:22Sam Morril?

  Mike Beckione. Mike, did, did you watch, uh, Family Matters or Fresh Prince Grown Up?

• 31:26Speaker 05

  Uh, I'm aware of them. I, I didn't, wasn't, it was a little, uh...

• 31:30Mark Normand?

  Mike was doing pushups.

• 31:34Speaker 05

  It was like not during my heyday.

• 31:36Mark Normand?

  Ooh, Garcelle Buffot was in this. She was hot.

• 31:41Speaker 05

  Thanks for having me on.

• 31:42Mark Normand?

  Hey, sorry, sorry. Came in right during, it's like we're watching Basic Instinct, like, shut up!

• 31:47Sam Morril?

  That's him at a diddy freak off.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  They didn't tell him that James Avery was coming on the set.

• 31:56Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 31:57Speaker 01

  So this is like an outtake, but that they aired, they aired it. I remember seeing this as a kid. This was the most amazing thing.

• 32:04Mark Normand?

  Oh no.

• 32:07Sam Morril?

  He's like, "Are they replacing me? What the fuck?"

• 32:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Just seeing Uncle Phil in a shirt is like, yeah.

• 32:14Mark Normand?

  That's why I let it play out.

• 32:15Sam Morril?

  I love James Avery, dude.

• 32:17Mark Normand?

  Me too.

• 32:17Sam Morril?

  He was, he was the backbone of that show.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, you needed him. Best TV dad.

• 32:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:23Mark Normand?

  I like Cosby.

• 32:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  But no, what's beautiful about that clip was that those guys like they came up together in theater and then they're like, look, we both made it.

• 32:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 32:33Speaker 01

  That we have money jobs, yeah.

• 32:34Mark Normand?

  Whoa, and they got the same gig, basically.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, basically.

• 32:37Mark Normand?

  Is it true that-

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Lawyer, I mean, judge, cop, yeah.

• 32:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, by the way, so typecasted. He's a cop on the sitcom, he's a cop in Ghostbusters, he's a cop in Die Hard, and he's a cop in Turner and Hooch.

• 32:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, but he's a friendly cop.

• 32:50Mark Normand?

  That's true, lovable cop.

• 32:51Speaker 05

  He's like a liaison to the community.

• 32:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you don't want to be-

• 32:55Speaker 01

  In later Family Matters, when it was just like the Urkel hijinks, every season they would give him like one serious acting episode. So there was the one where like these two white cops pulled over Eddie and he's like, "You pulled over my son." And then like the subplot is like, Urkel is Bruce Lee.

• 33:13Sam Morril?

  They had to throw in the silly B story.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Oh no, the B story was the cops.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  Those writers knew what they were doing, man.

• 33:22Speaker 05

  I assume this started from the P Diddy, there was a P Diddy discussion before this and then it went into the Family Matters?

• 33:27Sam Morril?

  I don't even think so.

• 33:28Mark Normand?

  No, I know.

• 33:29Sam Morril?

  I think we went from Will Smith-

• 33:30Speaker 05

  He started Family Matters first?

• 33:30Speaker 01

  We were talking about Will Smith.

• 33:33Sam Morril?

  I mean, shit, remember the, uh, what you talking about Willis?

• 33:36Mark Normand?

  Gary Coleman?

• 33:37Sam Morril?

  There's an episode, didn't he get molested in one episode?

• 33:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, he did. That was the first one of those.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  No, Dudley does, his friend. They create, they gave him a friend just for that episode.

• 33:45Speaker 05

  Right.

• 33:47Speaker 05

  Well, he gets it in the bike shop, which is where all molestation should happen.

• 33:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:51Sam Morril?

  Imagine being that stage parent, though, like you're auditioning for a kid who gets fucked.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Now, now, now I definitely sound like Rain Man, but played by Gordon Jump, who was also the Maytag Man. And was on WKRP in Cincinnati.

• 34:04Sam Morril?

  A very special episode.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:06Sam Morril?

  God, they would have to do that.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  I was molested by the guy from WKRP in Cincinnati.

• 34:10Sam Morril?

  They had to prep you back in the day, they're like, "It's a special episode."

• 34:13Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  It's also funny that it's like the theme song is, "It takes different strokes to change the world" or whatever, like that sounds like, "Rule the world." That sounds like a defense of pedophilia.

• 34:25Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  "Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum."

• 34:30Mark Normand?

  Look, he's watching a Diddy magazine.

• 34:34Mark Normand?

  Man, he's literally doing the Richard Oldfield. I know. He got acquitted? What?

• 34:39Speaker 01

  Webster walks in, he's like, wait a second. There could be only one. They think they got little swords?

• 34:46Mark Normand?

  It's Lowlander.

• 34:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was, that was great.

• 34:55Mark Normand?

  So, it's great speech.

• 34:58Mark Normand?

  Uh, Mike, you got a new special out on YouTube, everybody?

• 35:02Speaker 05

  Called Low Income White. I don't know where the cameras are. Please, uh, please watch it. Low Income White on YouTube. Thank you guys both for sharing. I appreciate it.

• 35:10Mark Normand?

  Nate Land produced?

• 35:11Speaker 05

  Nate Land produced.

• 35:12Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 35:13Sam Morril?

  These two, these two have been on the road together, I think.

• 35:15Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:16Sam Morril?

  Pete Davidson gigs?

• 35:17Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. Opening for Pete, yeah.

• 35:19Mark Normand?

  That's cool.

• 35:19Speaker 05

  Pete's the best, man.

• 35:20Sam Morril?

  How was that?

• 35:21Speaker 05

  Awesome.

• 35:22Mark Normand?

  Great crowds, I bet.

• 35:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  It's amazing watching Mike have to learn how to promote.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  Cause even on the stage, he's like, if you, if you liked what you just saw, please go to my website. You don't have to, but if you would like to.

• 35:40Speaker 05

  No, I have to do it after every, uh, every set now because it's just.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  It works, man.

• 35:46Speaker 05

  I mean, yeah, you have to.

• 35:47Mark Normand?

  You gotta do it. It's 20,000 people or whatever.

• 35:49Speaker 05

  Right, right.

• 35:50Mark Normand?

  But it's like a hostage video. You're like, ah, God, please.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, I try to make it funny, but I, after every one, I say, I have to do it.

• 35:58Mark Normand?

  Gotta do it. By the way, give the man a little room here.

• 36:00Speaker 05

  Oh, so, yeah, I like it.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Those, those peach shows are amazing because you are someone's first stand-up comedian.

• 36:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  There are people there who have never been to a comedy show.

• 36:11Mark Normand?

  And I'm sure the 22-year-old girls love seeing you guys.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  We do look like the Fathers that Abandoned Them.

• 36:19Speaker 05

  But Nate's shows too, it's like half the people are just there, uh, they've never been to a comedy show. They're just, they love Nate.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:26Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 36:27Speaker 05

  So.

• 36:28Sam Morril?

  Damn. What's, what's the, when you go out with Pete, do you, do you guys do like a dinner afterwards or is it just kinda like you're out after?

• 36:35Speaker 01

  I want to go to the, straight to the next place.

• 36:37Speaker 05

  Yeah. Usually drive that night.

• 36:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, wow.

• 36:40Speaker 05

  Go and then drive that night.

• 36:42Mark Normand?

  Bus, I take it?

• 36:44Speaker 05

  Uh, no.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Sprinter?

• 36:46Speaker 05

  No, just, uh, regular cars. Now, maybe, maybe an SUV.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 05

  But, uh, just cars, yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  We were one time, I don't know if you were on that one, but we were chased for like forty-five minutes.

• 36:59Mark Normand?

  By the ladies?

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Uh, by like this one fan on the road.

• 37:02Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 37:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 05

  No, I did come out of like, when we were in Philly, I came out of the car and it was just like, I mean, it's just a window in to what he has to deal with, where it's like you get out because everybody's like, oh, you have to do, it's like, no, no, no, no. You get out of the car and it's like, flash is going off. It's like disorientating and people around like us getting rushed into the...

• 37:24Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 37:25Speaker 05

  Us. Him being rushed into the, um, building, man. It's like, it's like you're ambushed, you know what I mean?

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Now, the big thing is the eBay guys, so you, cause he, he was in the Transformers movie and stuff, so they have the Funko Pops and, yeah.

• 37:39Mark Normand?

  How do they know? How do those guys get hip to that? They'll be at the airport at six AM. I'm like, how'd you know I had the early flight?

• 37:44Speaker 01

  I was, I was at Largo in LA with Sarah Silverman, just in the parking lot, there was like three guys with her Wreck-It Ralph toys.

• 37:52Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:53Mark Normand?

  And you're like, you're a nerd.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Thanksgiving.

• 37:55Mark Normand?

  When Mike's calling a guy, you're pathetic.

• 37:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:58Speaker 01

  You ain't nerd, you're nothing.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Well, it's a spectrum.

• 38:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  I do have a wife and child, which a lot of those guys do not, yeah.

• 38:07Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 38:08Speaker 05

  Right.

• 38:08Mark Normand?

  Damn, that's crazy, Wreck-It Ralph.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you're in something like that, then you know, that's like, they could sell it and...

• 38:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:16Sam Morril?

  Is there a market for that though? Like, how much are they really getting for?

• 38:19Mark Normand?

  And I've signed shit, I'm like, who's buying my shit?

• 38:22Sam Morril?

  Same. I tell them that when they, when they, when they're like, I'm like, no one wants this.

• 38:25Mark Normand?

  No one wants me. Get Jim Carrey or Eddie Murphy.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Well, the thing too is the more that gets signed, the more the value goes down.

• 38:32Mark Normand?

  Ah, good point. Okay, you're really gonna do sixty-five bucks, you know, the shipping in, is that worth it?

• 38:39Sam Morril?

  Damn. Yeah, back in the day, if you were a retired athlete, autographs was like, that's how you kept making money.

• 38:46Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 38:47Sam Morril?

  But it was a big deal, like Joe DiMaggio would just make a ton of money signing shit.

• 38:50Speaker 05

  Mark, you could quit and just be a greeter at a casino.

• 38:54Mark Normand?

  That's, that's my point.

• 38:55Sam Morril?

  I remember that headshot. Oh, that's an oldie, yeah. That's a good one. Sixty-two dollars. Forty-two. Oh, forty-two.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  And you did a star, David?

• 39:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, always. So we know it's real.

• 39:09Sam Morril?

  Good point. I have no memory of this.

• 39:10Speaker 05

  Was there a discount for the holidays? For the high ones?

• 39:13Sam Morril?

  Does Pete, Pete is obsessed with, uh, Tony Soprano, right?

• 39:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:19Sam Morril?

  I saw a thing of him buying like a Tony Soprano watch on-

• 39:22Speaker 01

  So, we, I, I'm staying at his place right now. We drove in, uh, my wife's in, uh, at Paulie Walnuts' car. Signed by Tony Sirico.

• 39:35Speaker 05

  Whoa, that's great.

• 39:37Sam Morril?

  That's cool. Yeah. You should've gotten the car of the one where, uh, the fat gay guy blew him in. What does that go for? Vito. Vito.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  I'm sure he's trying. And the cowboy hat.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  That, you know, like, I, I, I ended up watching it for the first time like a few years ago and that was one of the saddest stories. And what was, what was amazing about it though, which I liked, like in terms of writing, they never made Vito likable. He was still an asshole, but you just-

• 40:06Speaker 05

  He was a bully, yeah.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you kinda felt bad for him.

• 40:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah, cause he didn't deserve to get fucking sodomized to death. I mean, that's such a fucking-

• 40:13Speaker 05

  But that's based off a true story.

• 40:15Sam Morril?

  Is that right?

• 40:16Speaker 05

  The De Calvicante family in New Jersey, one of the bosses was, there was a rumor that he was gay and that rumor got him killed. So it's based on the truth.

• 40:24Sam Morril?

  Mike looks like he would know fun facts about the mafia. Yeah. No, that's crazy.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  It's like you own, right?

• 40:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll nail the Gary Coleman guy, the pedophile.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  Between the two of us.

• 40:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he'll do the mob stuff. Damn, that is, uh, yeah, that was tragic. Yeah, I saw a post recently, I forgot who did it. Someone tweeted this, but it was like, you know, if they made The Sopranos today, they'd make him go to a psychiatrist and his daughter would date a black guy and there'd be a gay subplot. Oh my god. That's brilliant. They just snuck it in. It was that good, you don't even pay attention. Yeah, so good.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  I, this is my, my dumb Sopranos hot take though, which is that I think they should've just recast the mom. The story was about him and the mom. No, no, uh, when his, when his mom passed away. Lydia.

• 41:10Sam Morril?

  She was so good, though.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  She was so good. No, but she died. Yeah. But I'm saying when she died, they shouldn't have written the character out of the show. They should have gotten someone else. They should have on-vived her. Because the story was him and the mom the whole time. Right. And then, and then it. Should have cast her as a black mom. They should have gotten actual on-viv. Remember there was like that, there was like that Simpsons with like, you know, we already have three grandpas that are jazz musicians.

• 41:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  Every season, there's like a new cousin that's out of prison and it's like, they, they had these like, like forced antagonists and the mom was a natural antagonist.

• 41:43Mark Normand?

  Right. Speaking of which, how you doing with Marge dying?

• 41:47Speaker 01

  Oh, that was just, uh, you know, I, it's fine. I don't, I don't watch anymore.

• 41:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  How am I doing with the show dying?

• 41:56Mark Normand?

  But that's a pretty big deal, killing Marge.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that was a fantasy sequence. She's not actually dying. Oh, really?

• 42:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no.

• 42:02Mark Normand?

  I thought the lady was like, I want out. Nancy Cartwright or whatever.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  I thought she went to wherever her poo went.

• 42:09Mark Normand?

  I thought she was really dead.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  That is the best gig. Harry Shearer like records in like his new Orleans mansion.

• 42:15Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  And just sends this, you know, I, I went to a table read and got to see Castle, Castle and Neta live. Wow. Him doing Homer live is like, it's insane. And then he goes into Quimby and Groundskeeper Willie.

• 42:30Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  He, there was a part of it where it was him and grandpa and he's just.

• 42:35Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Going back and forth with him.

• 42:37Sam Morril?

  They used to go on Conan and do that a little bit.

• 42:39Mark Normand?

  Yes, that was great.

• 42:40Sam Morril?

  I think it was Harry Shearer and Dan Castellaneta.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  You would never see Kavner do it. Like on Inside the Actor's Studio, they would show everybody else but her.

• 42:46Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  There's also an LA Law episode where Dan Castellaneta plays a guy who is obsessed with being Homer Simpson.

• 42:55Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, go net worth. You had net worth there. I want to see that. These guys are.

• 42:59Sam Morril?

  Oh, it's gotta be stupid.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Oh. Nah, I'm just kidding. I don't know.

• 43:05Mark Normand?

  Man.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  You know what? You know what's amazing though is like a lot of those guys were just on the Tracy Ullman show.

• 43:10Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  And they're like, hey, you want to just do this voice also? And that's like forever money.

• 43:14Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 43:17Mark Normand?

  I know the show is shitty now, but it would be nice if it just never went away. I like that it's still going.

• 43:22Sam Morril?

  I don't know, I disagree.

• 43:24Mark Normand?

  It's kind of, it's like a safety blanket. Oh, what the hell?

• 43:30Sam Morril?

  Is this like a serious show?

• 43:31Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 43:36Mark Normand?

  That's too weird.

• 43:37Sam Morril?

  That is really...

• 43:38Speaker 01

  But then he takes, I think he takes the mask off and it's, you know.

• 43:43Speaker 05

  And then they get on with the episode?

• 43:45Sam Morril?

  I wish there was more, voiceover stuff is so, is so fun. I wish there was more. I did like a few episodes on a ten-year-old Tom and it was so fucking fun.

• 43:54Mark Normand?

  It's so annoying because people with both of us are like, "You should do voiceover." I'm like, "I would love to."

• 43:58Sam Morril?

  I'd love to.

• 43:58Mark Normand?

  But it's so coveted. Nobody wants to give up their job.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  It's funny the way that, that Homer is like, you know, drawn, like you could tell that is exactly like 1992.

• 44:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  That's like season three, they're still figuring it out.

• 44:11Mark Normand?

  Yep, yep.

• 44:13Sam Morril?

  That, back when you could figure out a show.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:16Sam Morril?

  Now you better come out of the gates swinging. Even if you do, Netflix will just like buy and then cancel a show like nothing.

• 44:22Speaker 05

  What do they give you, four episodes to prove yourself?

• 44:25Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 44:26Mark Normand?

  Something like that.

• 44:27Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 44:27Mark Normand?

  But my thing is, start firing the guys who said no to a project and then they pick it up like, like Family Guy. Somebody canceled Family Guy. They made a decision in a boardroom and they canceled the show and then it got picked up again on a different channel, whatever. And now it's the biggest cartoon of all time. That guy should be fired for canceling it.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Right, right. Everyone said no to Squid Game.

• 44:46Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 44:47Speaker 01

  For years.

• 44:47Mark Normand?

  There you go!

• 44:48Speaker 01

  For years. I think it took fifteen years for that to get on the air.

• 44:51Sam Morril?

  Wow. And we're complaining about eighteen months. We gotta shut the fuck up.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  No, it's just you.

• 44:57Sam Morril?

  That's just me.

• 45:00Sam Morril?

  You need one whiny person in the group.

• 45:02Mark Normand?

  You do, you do.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  He'll just, he'll just text it and be like, "When are we gonna know?"

• 45:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  I'm like, "We're not."

• 45:09Sam Morril?

  I'm used to sending that with pregnancy texts, so.

• 45:13Speaker 01

  There's only so many ways you could tell your writing partner, "We don't matter."

• 45:20Speaker 05

  But Sam, Sam writes back, "But we're straight white."

• 45:25Speaker 05

  Don't they respect that?

• 45:26Sam Morril?

  I don't understand.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  Well, that one night in college.

• 45:34Mark Normand?

  It sucks. I think we're just used to comedy. We're used to stand up.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  It's a good question.

• 45:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  It either works or it doesn't.

• 45:40Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 45:41Sam Morril?

  We're used to knowing.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, December 2023 was when we first talked about, yeah, the idea.

• 45:46Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:47Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 45:48Sam Morril?

  But it evolves, you know, it gets better.

• 45:50Mark Normand?

  It could have been made and canceled by now.

• 45:51Speaker 05

  Right, right.

• 45:52Sam Morril?

  There's this great book called Pictures of a Revolution by Mark Harris, and it's like all about the movies that changed Hollywood in the late 60s. So it was like the Best Picture movie. So it's like Bonnie and Clyde, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, which was like kind of the, you know, the fake progressive movie.

• 46:05Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 46:06Sam Morril?

  And then they, In the Heat of the Night, which was kind of like the more badass one.

• 46:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 46:09Sam Morril?

  Then it was Dr. Dolittle, which was a huge bomb. And then the last one was The Graduate. So it was like how it changed Hollywood. But, you know, Bonnie and Clyde was crazy, cutting edge, brand new, and it took like, I don't know, like five years to get made.

• 46:22Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 46:22Sam Morril?

  You think you got Warren Beatty and, you know, it went to all these people. They originally was like true foe was attached to direct it.

• 46:28Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 46:28Speaker 01

  But Warren Beatty isn't fully Warren Beatty until Bonnie and Clyde comes out.

• 46:32Sam Morril?

  True. He's badass.

• 46:34Speaker 05

  But it's always somebody has to take a risk. That's really what it's down to. Somebody's gonna have balls and take a risk and.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  The biggest problem now is they just spend too much money on everything.

• 46:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  And then they look at everything as being too costly and it's like just lower the budgets.

• 46:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 46:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:51Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 46:51Sam Morril?

  Just charge more for paper towels and you can make the show Amazon, come on.

• 46:56Mark Normand?

  Well, that too.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  No, but it's like every, everything that cost over a hundred million dollars all looks the same.

• 47:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know, but when you, like, the first Deadpool was only 50 million because Fox didn't believe in it.

• 47:09Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  And it looks different than other comic movies. The love story is more grounded.

• 47:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  And believable because they, they had to make it character based because they couldn't afford to just do a bunch of action.

• 47:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 47:22Sam Morril?

  It's almost cool to see when, you know, if you look at like an old Scorsese movie where he had to work within a budget as opposed to now he just do anything. But when you watch like Mean Streets or Taxi Driver, you're like, holy shit, he had to work within a budget.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  Plus he used to end.

• 47:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  They had runtimes.

• 47:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Like, that's the thing too. I don't, you know, yeah, you're like the greatest director.

• 47:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:42Mark Normand?

  Sometimes there's too much leash.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  Haven't you worked with the same editor? Like, talk to film machine maker.

• 47:46Mark Normand?

  She died.

• 47:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  She did?

• 47:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's why the movies are still going.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 47:50Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  So she got cut.

• 47:51Mark Normand?

  She died, yeah. She's on the cutter floor.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  No, he needs somebody, man. It's like, I, I, I remember when, uh, we were on tour and, uh, Killers of the Flower Moon came out.

• 48:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we saw it in the theater.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  And everybody, everybody went to go see it except me because I brought my PS5 because Spider-Man 2 had just come out. And my son wasn't even like one yet. And so it's like, this is my only time. It's like, you know, fucking Burgess Meredith with the books in the vault.

• 48:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  And I was like, I'm gonna actually stay in.

• 48:26Speaker 05

  Right.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  I remember even my wife being like, you gotta go to the movies. They're going to the movies. You know, like, those that look at you is not like, you know, playing along and everything. I'm like, they know that.

• 48:34Speaker 05

  Your spider sense told you not to go.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. But then, and then I remember like, everybody went but me and they all hated it.

• 48:42Speaker 05

  They, I think they walked out.

• 48:43Mark Normand?

  And you saved three and a half hours.

• 48:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:45Mark Normand?

  You could beat the whole game.

• 48:46Speaker 05

  Right.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Is it, this, this episode is incredible also because, but people often forget about it is that his wife hates books. And she crosses out every word in the book meticulously.

• 48:58Mark Normand?

  What does she, a Florida teacher?

• 49:03Speaker 01

  But I wanted to read about these and thems. There was time now.

• 49:10Speaker 05

  That was a great episode.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  It is funny when you go to a Barnes and Noble though now and there's like, it'll be like a table and it's like outlawed books. I'm like, well, they're not really outlawed. I'm, I'm looking right at them. They're right here. Yeah. And you actually raised the price on them. Yeah. Oh yeah, they're trendy now. Yeah. Mouse is like sixty dollars now.

• 49:28Speaker 05

  Barnes and Noble should just transition into a coffee shop.

• 49:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:31Speaker 05

  That has books.

• 49:32Mark Normand?

  I know, that's all I do.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  And a public restroom.

• 49:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, and a public restroom. Public restroom is really the selling point.

• 49:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, libraries now, it's just hobo heaven.

• 49:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:41Mark Normand?

  Air conditioning, there's internet.

• 49:42Speaker 05

  Right.

• 49:43Mark Normand?

  Bathroom.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  When I, when I, when I moved to New York in 2007, I didn't have wifi for like the first few months. And just waiting in a library, you know, the, the cum filled keyboard and just, you knew like who was in the queue in front of you.

• 49:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so true.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  I gotta go on Craigslist to look up jobs.

• 50:04Mark Normand?

  God, it sounds so antiqu- you used to have a fucking tape deck, remember that?

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:08Mark Normand?

  With the batteries that would fall out.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, remember, I'd bring, uh, three liter sodas?

• 50:12Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, before the ban.

• 50:15Sam Morril?

  You still, do you still have sodas a lot? I mean, you have one right now.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:19Sam Morril?

  How often?

• 50:19Speaker 01

  I'm obsessed, uh, a couple a day.

• 50:21Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 50:22Speaker 05

  The ban was hilarious, though. I love the ban because people lost it. They were like, you can't, it's a constitutional right. It's like, we're not, we're not saying that you can't get as much, you can go back and get refills on a 32 ounce. We just can't have a 64 ounce. It's like, it's un-American.

• 50:38Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 50:39Sam Morril?

  Americans just don't want to be told they can't do anything.

• 50:41Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:42Mark Normand?

  It's like the, when they, drinking and driving used to be legal. And then they made it a law and you, there's a video of like a local news guy, he's like, this is crazy, I can't drink and drive? What kind of country am I living in? What's next, they're gonna take away coffee?

• 50:55Speaker 05

  I never thought smoking indoors, uh, the smoking ban indoors was gonna take. I was like, there's no way this takes.

• 51:00Sam Morril?

  Thank God that took.

• 51:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:02Sam Morril?

  Thank God.

• 51:03Speaker 05

  Yeah. Turned out to be a great idea.

• 51:04Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  I was wrong.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  I've only been here two days and the amount of people that smoke outside, I, nobody smokes in LA.

• 51:11Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 51:12Speaker 01

  No, so it's like just walking around, yeah, vaping and all that. But walking around like smelling cigarette smoke, it's like, ah, it's fucking.

• 51:20Mark Normand?

  I know, especially in the heat.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  I just love that like scientist had to prove it was bad. Babes, no, just cigarettes.

• 51:27Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. No, it's the same thing with the phone now, where it's like, we all know it's bad, but there's no like, I guess there's, I guess maybe there is hard scientific. But it's not like, it was kind of like smoking where it's like, well, my mother smoked, I was like, where did you think the smoke went?

• 51:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:40Speaker 05

  When you inhaled it.

• 51:41Mark Normand?

  It went to the fetus.

• 51:41Speaker 05

  It's like, well, we knew, but there was no hard.

• 51:43Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 51:44Speaker 05

  There's no evidence out there.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  They have a Will Smith movie where he's brave enough to be like, yeah, when people get hit in the head in football, it's not good. Tell the truth. Can he rap in that accent?

• 51:56Mark Normand?

  That guy was wronged. That's a crazy story.

• 51:58Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, that's right. Doctors would smoke.

• 52:00Mark Normand?

  Pull up the, if you can find the local news of, uh, the guys bitching about drinking and driving. It's so, it's in Texas. There's a woman just furious. She's holding a beer.

• 52:07Sam Morril?

  But like, how the hell do people not know vaping is bad? Dude, in the 50s, like. You're charging it in a USB port and then smoking it?

• 52:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:14Sam Morril?

  You think that's not bad for you?

• 52:15Mark Normand?

  And it's crazy flavors. It's all bad.

• 52:17Speaker 05

  It feels like you're downloading cancer.

• 52:21Sam Morril?

  It's like 23%, 27%.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Rod Serling would smoke. He died of lung cancer, but he would smoke all the time in Twilight Zones.

• 52:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Groucho on You Bet Your Life. Like, five-minute cigarette ads.

• 52:31Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent.

• 52:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think cigarettes are disgusting unless I'm drunk, in which case I'm like, fuck. I crave one when I'm hammered.

• 52:39Speaker 05

  You gotta have one.

• 52:39Mark Normand?

  Get the Zin. Everybody switches Zin now.

• 52:41Sam Morril?

  I was smoking a vape the other night, cause I was with a lady who was vaping. I was like, just give it to me. And I'm like, this is disgusting. When you're drunk, it hits.

• 52:48Mark Normand?

  I get it. I get it. I like a cigar every now and then, too.

• 52:51Speaker 05

  I love it. I got the little ones. So you don't have to dedicate all that time to it.

• 52:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's very time-consuming. Uh-oh.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  This is my addiction. I have hundreds, if not at least a thousand action figures.

• 53:02Mark Normand?

  You have to do like 10 feet away from the building.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's an adult collectible.

• 53:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  This is Kingo from the movie Eternals. I actually got this figure, cause, yeah, I'm buddies with Kumail, and I just put the head on, like, other characters. So I have like Spider Kumail, and, yeah.

• 53:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:21Mark Normand?

  That would be fun if you kept that in your pocket. At the end of the day, you're like...

• 53:26Mark Normand?

  After sex, you're like, give me Kingo.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  I'm the Kingo of my castle.

• 53:32Sam Morril?

  What is this?

• 53:34Speaker 06

  It's kinda getting communist, when a fella can't put in a hard day's work, put in 11, 12 hours a day, and then get in your truck and at least rain one or two beers.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  He's the white version of that black comic we watched.

• 53:46Mark Normand?

  This is a Californian, too. This is even like a Alabama.

• 53:50Sam Morril?

  Keep going. I wanna see what else we got.

• 53:51Speaker 07

  Laws where you can't drink when you want to. You have to wear a seatbelt when you're driving.

• 53:57Sam Morril?

  That one's reasonable.

• 53:58Speaker 07

  Pretty soon we're gonna be communist country.

• 54:01Mark Normand?

  Communist country. I mean, look at this. It's all the same shit.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  She's still alive and the baby isn't.

• 54:08Sam Morril?

  I don't get it. What's the objection with the seatbelt?

• 54:11Mark Normand?

  Well, it's the forcing. That's the fact that it's a law now.

• 54:14Speaker 05

  And it traps you if you happen to drive into water. You can't get out.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  And also, also the thing is, and I know you just became a dad, but parenting especially, if you tell anyone how to raise their kid, that you have to put a seatbelt, all that kind of stuff. It's just, it, it gets so personal.

• 54:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, going to the playground is like exhausting because you don't know.

• 54:41Sam Morril?

  Cause you're so turned on?

• 54:46Speaker 01

  You know, like, we're working together.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  You know if I get arrested for pedophilia, like that's not good for the show.

• 54:54Sam Morril?

  No, no.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  With the kid.

• 54:56Sam Morril?

  That's bad for everyone.

• 54:57Speaker 05

  That might get it launched.

• 54:59Mark Normand?

  That's true. A scandal could help.

• 55:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  No, but like, you know, you don't, cause you don't know how other people are raising their kids and stuff. And if their kid does something with your kid and, you know. Even if like, like, like something like sharing, like, no, he could ask him if he wants, and then they'll be like, we're teaching him not to.

• 55:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:17Speaker 01

  It gets so dicey.

• 55:19Speaker 05

  It becomes a Rico conspiracy then?

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:22Sam Morril?

  Have you learned anything though? Has anyone like, have you done anything away and you're like, oh, maybe we should do it that way?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I definitely, you know, watching other people hit their kids reminds me why I'll never hit my kid.

• 55:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  That was, that was traumatizing. Like he, like Logan was like one in three months and he was playing with this boy at like a, a train station. And the mom just smacked him right in front of.

• 55:47Mark Normand?

  Your kid?

• 55:48Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 55:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  The kid, the kid in front of Logan, Logan saw it.

• 55:51Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:53Mark Normand?

  That's heavy.

• 55:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:54Mark Normand?

  Did he cry?

• 55:55Speaker 04

  I like that when that happened to my kid, cause it showed my kid, like, look, your life could be this shitty. It was like, I don't hit my kid, obviously, but it was like, I, he, and he acts out a lot because of it.

• 56:06Mark Normand?

  That's why I leave a Tina Turner photo at the house.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Probably has a jellyfish. This will be you.

• 56:14Mark Normand?

  I'll give you a respite.

• 56:15Sam Morril?

  He shows his kid the R. Kelly documentary? Could be really bad for you, dude. You're lucky.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  You wanna be trapped in the closet again? Volume twenty-three?

• 56:23Mark Normand?

  The Nickelodeon doc again. You wanna get slimed?

• 56:29Speaker 01

  Quiet on set!

• 56:32Sam Morril?

  That was a dark doc, dude. I watched it, dude.

• 56:34Mark Normand?

  I could watch it.

• 56:35Sam Morril?

  That poor kid, man, Jesus Christ.

• 56:37Speaker 05

  That's the thing that gets greenlit. You guys should do a documentary about something. Not trying to write a show.

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:42Speaker 05

  Just something that's already out there and, uh, the dark side of it.

• 56:46Mark Normand?

  Child abuse.

• 56:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, the dark side of child abuse.

• 56:49Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 56:50Speaker 05

  Cause everybody knows about the upside.

• 56:54Mark Normand?

  Damn, she looks rough.

• 56:55Sam Morril?

  Poor Manabines, yeah. Something went bad.

• 56:58Mark Normand?

  Look how cute she used to be. That's my type, that age.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  What, the one on the left?

• 57:07Sam Morril?

  She looks like the fucking blueberry, the Rihanna role, Jesus Christ.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  She looks like she's about to say something sassy to Drew Carey.

• 57:16Mark Normand?

  On a billboard, do a lot of ninety's sitcoms on this.

• 57:19Sam Morril?

  Jesus Christ.

• 57:22Mark Normand?

  Cleveland Rocks.

• 57:23Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  That show was great, man.

• 57:25Mark Normand?

  That was a really innovative show.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  Blue Collar Seinfeld.

• 57:28Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 57:29Speaker 01

  That's what it was, it was Seinfeld for pores.

• 57:31Mark Normand?

  I like that.

• 57:32Sam Morril?

  I like that show, yeah. Drew Carey's kinda underappreciated.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Ryan Stiles, just

• 57:36Mark Normand?

  Killer.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Literally a poor man's Kramer.

• 57:38Mark Normand?

  Diedrich Bader was great.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's the George.

• 57:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, and they had the girl who was too attractive.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  And then that's Newman. Mimi's Newman, yeah.

• 57:46Sam Morril?

  It's actually the actor who played Newman.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  That's White Night during the day, that's White Day.

• 57:55Sam Morril?

  Damn, dude.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  And then they would do, remember they would do like, do like improv, improvise like, episodes and stuff?

• 58:02Mark Normand?

  And they would do musical episodes.

• 58:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:04Mark Normand?

  It was fun.

• 58:05Sam Morril?

  It's cool when shows took swings like that back in the time. Even if it missed, you're like, alright, you tried.

• 58:09Speaker 05

  Right.

• 58:10Sam Morril?

  Like thirty bucks did a live one, remember that?

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:13Sam Morril?

  That was crazy.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  Well, that was the improv one, yeah, and they would do it in, they did one in the east coast and the west coast and, yeah.

• 58:19Mark Normand?

  Cool.

• 58:20Speaker 05

  30 Rock is such a good show.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  So good.

• 58:22Speaker 05

  It's so good from, I mean, it's ridiculous and it's like, why wasn't this commercially? I mean, it was, yeah, it was too smart. It's like, people are tired from work and they sit down. It's like, they just don't want to think.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 58:34Speaker 05

  I think that's what it is.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  I mean, the sex symbol that Scott adds it could have been, if we just let him into our hearts.

• 58:41Sam Morril?

  I feel, but it went like, what, seven seasons? It was a huge hit. It just.

• 58:44Speaker 05

  It was, it was a critically, what is it? Critically acclaimed?

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:47Speaker 05

  Whereas like, uh, what's the Charlie Sheen show? That was like a huge hit.

• 58:51Speaker 01

  Two and a half men.

• 58:51Speaker 05

  Two and a half men. So that was a huge hit.

• 58:53Sam Morril?

  How many seasons was it?

• 58:54Speaker 05

  30 Rock was like a critically acclaimed.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  It was critically acclaimed for sure. Okay, do you, Mark will remember this guy. I don't know if you guys will, but it's one of my favorite sad showbiz stories. Do you, do you guys, you guys remember Gowie? No.

• 59:10Mark Normand?

  Hey, we might be drunk is brought to you by Shopify. If your business plan is wing it and see what happens, well, you need Shopify. It's the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and a whopping 10% of all e-commerce in the US. From household names like Mattel and Jim Shark to brands just getting started, it's what all the cool kids are doing. Shopify can help you build your online store, write your product descriptions, enhance your photography, and even help create email and social media campaigns to get the word out about your biz. We love Shopify. We sell all kinds of crap and they make it way easier. You gotta do it. We don't know what the hell they're doing and they make it easy.

• 59:51Mark Normand?

  Shopify is your one stop shop for bringing your business to the next level. Turn your big biz into cha-ching with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash drunk. Go to Shopify.com slash drunk. Shopify.com slash drunk. Thank you.

• 1:00:14Sam Morril?

  Okay, we're living in 2025. You don't have to physically go to the doctor to get help for your ED. Hims makes it easy. Hims is giving men access to prescription treatment options for ED, like Hard Mints and Sex RX plus Climax Control to trusted generics that cost 95% less than the brand names. It's easy to get started. Just hop online and connect with a licensed provider who can see if a prescription is the right next stop. To get simple online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit hims.com/drunk. That's hims.com/drunk. For your free online visit, hims.com/drunk.

• 1:00:55Sam Morril?

  Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for details. Restrictions and important safety information.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Pull it up.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  I don't know. So I call a fitter after four beers. But no, Gowie was this open mic'er at the pit.

• 1:01:21Mark Normand?

  Yes, old guy with glasses.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  And he sounded like Almar Fod. He's like, "I'm Gowie." Oh, you know, I do remember that guy. Okay.

• 1:01:27Mark Normand?

  You remember him?

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  Yes. All right, so I remember he told me this. Vaguely. He told me this story where.

• 1:01:32Mark Normand?

  You'll never find him.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  He was.

• 1:01:34Mark Normand?

  He was like covert ops.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And I do believe he passed, but he was on 30 Rock as an extra for years and years. And he told me this story. He was like, "And Tina said that I was gonna get a line in the finale."

• 1:01:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yes.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  And then I watched it in my shelter. He was in a homeless shelter, like, watching the episode of 30 Rock and saw that his line was cut.

• 1:02:01Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:02:03Mark Normand?

  The cast of characters that we saw, remember Charlie Abelson? He's gotta be dead.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Fucking remember. Vampires.

• 1:02:09Mark Normand?

  Angry Bob, Bob Bell.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Mark Normand?

  I mean, they missed the Kill Tony boat.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:15Mark Normand?

  Right in there with her fucking. Pen of psycho.

• 1:02:18Sam Morril?

  They'd be selling out of Funny Bone.

• 1:02:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  Here's the thing, a lot of those guys would still bomb on Kill Tony because they'd be like, I can't just do one minute.

• 1:02:26Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true.

• 1:02:28Sam Morril?

  Damn, yeah.

• 1:02:29Speaker 05

  Because they gave you more time at the Village Lantern. It wasn't just one minute. You could really explore your soul at five.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  Is Colin Kane?

• 1:02:37Speaker 05

  With a drink ticket?

• 1:02:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Is Colin Kane still around?

• 1:02:41Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  Donkey Punch fame?

• 1:02:42Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 1:02:43Mark Normand?

  I don't remember, yeah, he's gotta be, I don't know where he's at.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  That was my favorite thing about the Village Lantern is there'd just be a big sign, Colin Kane's Donkey Punch.

• 1:02:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  That was a show that was the.

• 1:02:52Speaker 05

  I know he was, like, it was maybe ten years ago, but he was like, he sold out Gotham.

• 1:02:56Mark Normand?

  I remember that.

• 1:02:56Speaker 05

  He was selling out.

• 1:02:58Mark Normand?

  He would crush.

• 1:02:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Oh, I did an MTV showcase with him, and me and Drucker, Mike Drucker bombed, and he killed, and we just were like, the police won.

• 1:03:10Sam Morril?

  He was like, the, like, it didn't add up, it was like the hot guy who just hated women.

• 1:03:15Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:03:16Sam Morril?

  That character's always.

• 1:03:16Speaker 05

  But he didn't start that way. He didn't start that way. No, no, no, it evolved into that. I think he was like.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Dude, he'd be more famous.

• 1:03:22Speaker 05

  Cause he was running shows at the Village Lantern, and he was like, doing jokes, doing real, and then he got managed by Louis Ferranda at Caroline's, so he was getting a bunch of spots there.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Yep, that's where I saw him.

• 1:03:29Speaker 05

  And then, um, but then it turned into, um, it turned into that.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  I heard a story that he.

• 1:03:35Speaker 05

  Which did well for him.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  I heard a story that he turned away Judah Friedlander at like Caroline's or something because he was like, yeah, this guy's like, yeah, he thought he was a homeless guy. And then, you know, guy shows up in a championship of the world with the glasses and the hat.

• 1:03:50Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  And, you know, Colin Kane's not watching Thirty Rock.

• 1:03:54Speaker 05

  Right, right.

• 1:03:55Mark Normand?

  He was a hunk. I saw him open for Norm MacDonald. I paid the money and saw Norm MacDonald, my hero, and then Colin Kane opened, and I was like, oh, this is weird.

• 1:04:04Speaker 05

  Open mic fight.

• 1:04:06Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, Becky Owen and Colin Kane on the same show.

• 1:04:08Mark Normand?

  The same sentence. You had to go at it, huh?

• 1:04:12Mark Normand?

  What year?

• 1:04:13Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  I mean, this year literally sounds like two thousand and nine.

• 1:04:17Mark Normand?

  That's a good guess.

• 1:04:18Speaker 05

  Eight or nine.

• 1:04:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, eight? Right now?

• 1:04:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:20Mark Normand?

  Close. Very nice.

• 1:04:22Sam Morril?

  At comics.

• 1:04:22Mark Normand?

  That was a different time.

• 1:04:23Sam Morril?

  They still owe me money.

• 1:04:25Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:04:26Sam Morril?

  Piece of shit club.

• 1:04:27Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  The, the, the one in Foxwoods?

• 1:04:30Sam Morril?

  No, no, no, they, weirdly, they made good, uh, you know, the one in the meatpacking in New York City.

• 1:04:35Mark Normand?

  Fourteenth Street.

• 1:04:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:36Mark Normand?

  That was like our room, we'd go to Ochi's every week.

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  The place that was closed down by white rap. Remember Tom McCaffrey?

• 1:04:44Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Started doing rap there. And the last show that they did was like one of his shows. And it's like, for a club to have their final show be a former comedian turned rapper.

• 1:04:54Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. I say.

• 1:04:59Speaker 05

  But that's how it always was when a comedy club opens, it's like, they just roll out the red carpet. We want to treat our comics right.

• 1:05:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:06Speaker 05

  Like, you know, dinner menu, we want a free meal, whatever. But by the end, it's like, okay, you get choice of these five snacks.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Speaker 05

  And then we'll pay you two weeks.

• 1:05:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Sam Morril?

  Remember the first day, you're like, pumpkin ravioli? Holy shit, the hell's going on here?

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:20Mark Normand?

  CB's was the same way, you're like, whoa, living yawn, how about this?

• 1:05:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you know they're laundering something or they're gonna fuck you.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  I remember showing up and he's like, I can't pay you, but he's like, I got these bottles of wine. I'm like, I don't drink.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  It's like, and you stole them, you were very clearly stole them.

• 1:05:37Sam Morril?

  Literally, the most criminal shit, I can't pay you, but do you like cigars?

• 1:05:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'll blow you.

• 1:05:42Speaker 05

  I love that, it's a fencing operation now with a comedy element.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  Don't go near the Cuban Embassy with these.

• 1:05:49Sam Morril?

  I remember Norman and I went to comics, like it must have been 2010, and we watched, it was Greg Giraldo's last time headlining through. And dude, we were like, every other joke, we were like high fiving, we were kids, we were like, this is incredible, you know?

• 1:06:03Sam Morril?

  Incredible.

• 1:06:03Mark Normand?

  I saw Patrice there, I saw Giraldo there, I saw Maron do a what the fuck with, uh, Atella was on, I think Giraldo was on.

• 1:06:11Sam Morril?

  Oh wow.

• 1:06:12Mark Normand?

  It was incredible. Uh, who else did I see there? I saw some, I saw Aziz coming up.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  I saw Malaney there the first time.

• 1:06:17Mark Normand?

  Saw Malaney, I saw Louis do Shameless there.

• 1:06:20Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:06:20Mark Normand?

  We meet you in, uh, Solomon.

• 1:06:22Speaker 05

  Where is this?

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  I wasn't there.

• 1:06:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, maybe you weren't there.

• 1:06:23Sam Morril?

  That was a great hour.

• 1:06:24Mark Normand?

  Great hour.

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  Where is this place?

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  Comics.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  I lost, I lost an ECNY. It was, uh, me, Dad St. Germain, Kate McKinnon.

• 1:06:34Speaker 05

  What's an ECNY?

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  It was the Emerging Comics of New York Awards.

• 1:06:38Mark Normand?

  I remember that.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  In 2009, and I was nominated for Emerging Comic. Don't worry, you guys won in the end.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, you know, it was like, it was like alt comedy awards, basically.

• 1:06:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  But yeah, it was Kate McKinnon before SNL and she was nominated and yeah, Mike Kaplan won.

• 1:06:57Mark Normand?

  We were always in the basement doing the Ochi's Lounge. It was like the B room. We were always doing the open mic. But to go upstairs was, oh, it was a real treat. It was.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  Remember the first time I got booked upstairs?

• 1:07:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, me too. That's when I fucked up DeRosa's in- intro and he yelled at me for like a half hour.

• 1:07:12Sam Morril?

  That's hilarious.

• 1:07:13Mark Normand?

  I don't know what I was thinking. It was like 2010 and uh, it was the height of fear factor or something and I was in the green room. I was hosting. I was so nervous. And I go, "Hey, everybody, uh, next up, give it up for Joe Rogan." And the crowd was like, "Whoa, shit. Hey, a TV guy." And it was Joe DeRosa, but the Joes and the O's and the R, I fucked it up. And he walked out and this disgusting, smushy, you know, pasty Egyptian walks out and they're like, "Ahh."

• 1:07:41Mark Normand?

  He claims to ruin his whole set and eventually his career.

• 1:07:46Sam Morril?

  And he's, have you held it against him ever since?

• 1:07:49Mark Normand?

  What do you mean? That was my fault.

• 1:07:50Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:07:51Mark Normand?

  I fucked it up.

• 1:07:52Sam Morril?

  Well, by him screaming at you?

• 1:07:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, no, I fucked it up. It was all, I, he was half joking, but he was pissed.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  Okay, damn.

• 1:08:00Mark Normand?

  What could you do?

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  Dude, I re- I re- I remember, um, we judged a roast battle, um, in Austin and this guy came up to him after and was like, "You know, you were, you know, you could have been a little nicer." And Joe's like, "I was being nice. You were terrible."

• 1:08:19Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  Joe, I love Joe, man. I remember the one time, but we were at the stand and a guy came up and did the whole, you know, heckling, but I was just helping out. And just like, "No, you weren't."

• 1:08:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  "We're not helping out." Like, just to have that, I never have that confidence.

• 1:08:35Sam Morril?

  I love, I love a guy who's this close to the edge at all times.

• 1:08:37Mark Normand?

  All the time.

• 1:08:38Sam Morril?

  He's this close to breaking and his posture also suggests it.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  He wakes up at like Michael Douglas and falling down.

• 1:08:48Mark Normand?

  Well, the best Saint Germain roast joke, he goes, "Derosa, you look like you are constantly hearing about Sandy Hook."

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  Did you do Saint Germain through, I remember Saint Germain had a roast and Comedy Central came and they were like, "This is the meanest thing that we've ever seen."

• 1:09:07Mark Normand?

  We went for the jugular in everyone.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  It was brutal, yeah.

• 1:09:10Mark Normand?

  That was fun.

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  Roasting got kinda crazy.

• 1:09:12Mark Normand?

  It's on YouTube somewhere, I think.

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:14Sam Morril?

  It got to a point where, I remember a teller once saw one of them, he was like, "Jesus Christ, keep it surface." Like, you're like digging into people's like, family tree. Yeah.

• 1:09:24Speaker 05

  Because it's your career, and it's like, it's like, "This is my big break, so let me dig up this guy's dead dad."

• 1:09:31Mark Normand?

  That's what it was, it was all dead relatives.

• 1:09:33Speaker 01

  Well, it was really like, I never talked to Ralphie after roast battle.

• 1:09:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:38Sam Morril?

  You killed him. We thought it'd be the cholesterol, but it was you.

• 1:09:43Speaker 01

  It was me, Ben, and Jerry, alright? He had accomplices.

• 1:09:48Sam Morril?

  I was watching that roast live, you versus Ralphie May, and I was like, "He's gonna fucking kill him onstage."

• 1:09:54Mark Normand?

  I watched him yell at Jeff Ross, like, "You fucking, you know, backstab me, you're supposed to be my friend," and Jeff's like, "You didn't have any jokes."

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  Can I, can I tell you what happened before? It was crazy, so like, you know, I said like, "Hey, is there anything off limits?" And he goes, "I'm an open book, say whatever the fuck you want." And, of course, he didn't realize, like, you know, I Googled his divorce. And, but, but I remember when we were filming, um, that day, when we were doing rehearsals, a guy is like, on his knee, filming up, and he's like, "You're giving me the fucking Godzilla shot? You're trying to make me look fatter?"

• 1:10:30Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  And he's like, getting mad at the guy filming. That's why you look fat.

• 1:10:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  And I just, I just remember, I'm like... Knowing what I was gonna say, and I'm like, if this is pissing you off, buddy. Do you remember any of the jokes? I remember all of them. What, what, give me one.

• 1:10:48Mark Normand?

  Do the ring joke.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  Oh, uh, the roughest part of Ralphie's divorce was getting the ring off his finger.

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  This, this one, I mean, this is the one that, like, this is my opener. Cause his whole, his whole narrative was, every other comic is just gonna say, I'm fat, and, and they're hacks for doing it, right? So I said, you know, Ralphie's going through a divorce, it says a lot about your shitty personality, that your wife would rather take half your money now, when she could wait three months for all of it.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  That is fucking vicious. So that's when he like, he immediately is like, wait, what, what did I get into?

• 1:11:23Mark Normand?

  Yes, cause he brought the little Fabreeze bottle, he's like, you smell bad, or whatever.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  Thing was just that I stink, and he called me Pepe Le Pew. And then my closer, it's, it's one of the best jokes I'll ever write, was, um, you know, um, I know it's hack, you know, for me to call you fat, and then, and then, and then he leans into it, not realizing, he goes, it is. I was like, but your family's gone, everyone deserted you, and Dat Fan beat you on Last Comic Standing. The reason I make fun of your weight is cause it's the only thing you haven't lost.

• 1:11:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's poetic now.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  Now here's.

• 1:12:01Mark Normand?

  Ironically, that joke has no fat on it.

• 1:12:04Speaker 01

  Here's, here's the thing. The way that his face shifted when I said the Dat Fan thing, was just, that was.

• 1:12:13Speaker 05

  Liposuction?

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  But that was, that was where he legit got really pissed. Where it was like, come on, man, because it was in Montreal, in front of all these execs, and, and you know there's those guys who they can't let something like that go, like, he surpassed Dat Fan in every fucking way.

• 1:12:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, he was a great comic.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  But he lost to him on a TV show, and I knew it would still bother him.

• 1:12:36Mark Normand?

  Of course, of course. Wow.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, but we never talked again. I ran into his ex like two weeks later, which made me feel really bad about it because she was like, "You got him, you got him, good job." I'm like, "I didn't do it for you."

• 1:12:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:12:50Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:12:51Speaker 05

  Jesus.

• 1:12:52Mark Normand?

  Well, the real loser is the stool.

• 1:12:57Mark Normand?

  Wow, you had to go stool and then another stool.

• 1:12:59Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Dude, and I remember like-

• 1:13:01Sam Morril?

  I think even though Zembec would have been, "I can't do anything for this."

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  One of, one of his reps came up to me like a few months after, he's like, "You went too far." And I'm like, "You're the one who keeps booking them."

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  He's like, "You know, it's like, it is, you know, roast paddles, it's like, you know, you're in a fucking UFC fight."

• 1:13:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  And you're just like, I mean, and I, if he had said, "Hey, divorce is off limits," then divorce is off limits.

• 1:13:25Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:13:25Mark Normand?

  Well, you're like a backyard brawler and he was like a, like an Olympic wrestler and you just went in and beat the fuck out of him.

• 1:13:31Sam Morril?

  He wasn't a roast guy though, he was a, obviously a very skilled comic, you know, he was prolific and he was a murder on the road.

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  Oh, and even his fans were like, "You know, he's a better cop." I'm like, "I never said he wasn't."

• 1:13:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we're doing a roast battle.

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  I just said, "No one loves him."

• 1:13:44Mark Normand?

  You went for one.

• 1:13:44Sam Morril?

  I just said he was fat in 15 different ways.

• 1:13:48Mark Normand?

  You went for the juggler, it's not easy to find.

• 1:13:53Mark Normand?

  The weird thing is you drink more soda.

• 1:13:57Speaker 05

  Maybe high fructose corn syrup business.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Well, I had to, I had to, I had to think like his audience.

• 1:14:04Mark Normand?

  You had to Donnie Brasco.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Well, remember, remember like a few months before we battled, he was really mad at Chelsea Peretti.

• 1:14:13Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Because she had an album, a special called "One of the Greats."

• 1:14:19Mark Normand?

  Ironically.

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And he was like, "I live with, you know, I've seen Richard Pryor, I've seen, you know."

• 1:14:25Mark Normand?

  George Carlin.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  George Carlin, "You're not one of the greats." The whole thing was like, it's a joke.

• 1:14:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:29Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  And when I saw that, I was like, "Why is he in a battle, man?" This is not-

• 1:14:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:35Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:36Mark Normand?

  Well, RIP.

• 1:14:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:43Sam Morril?

  He's taken up two seats on that flight to heaven.

• 1:14:46Mark Normand?

  He broke the stairway.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  Him and Brian Noir together.

• 1:14:52Sam Morril?

  Did you see what they said about you? Did you see what they said on that podcast? About my boy Rafi? They broke my boy.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  Ralphie is Luca Brasi.

• 1:15:06Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:15:07Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:15:07Speaker 01

  No one had to tell him to take the cannoli.

• 1:15:13Sam Morril?

  He's fettuccine Alfredo.

• 1:15:18Mark Normand?

  There we go.

• 1:15:19Sam Morril?

  Alright.

• 1:15:23Sam Morril?

  Poor Ralphie.

• 1:15:24Mark Normand?

  Poor Ralphie. Good comic. Check out his albums.

• 1:15:27Speaker 05

  Can we now promote him?

• 1:15:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:30Speaker 05

  Check him out on iTunes.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  He was unplugged in 2017, but we're plugging him in 2025.

• 1:15:38Sam Morril?

  Damn dude.

• 1:15:42Speaker 01

  The guy was a, he was a pro wrestler. The guy, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:45Mark Normand?

  Oh wow.

• 1:15:45Speaker 05

  Ralphie was?

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:15:47Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  Oh. No, the guy played Luca Brasi.

• 1:15:49Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:15:51Mark Normand?

  Matt Ralphie was sumo.

• 1:15:54Speaker 04

  Did you know Uncle Junior was also in The Godfather?

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:59Mark Normand?

  With hair?

• 1:16:00Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  You know this?

• 1:16:01Speaker 05

  Part two, yeah. Who was he?

• 1:16:02Speaker 04

  No, he's, he's Johnny Ola.

• 1:16:04Speaker 05

  Johnny Ola.

• 1:16:05Speaker 04

  Is Uncle Junior.

• 1:16:06Speaker 05

  Wasn't it part two?

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 1:16:08Mark Normand?

  We have the internet.

• 1:16:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:09Sam Morril?

  I just rewatched, I rewatched Goodfellas last week and I was like, holy shit, I forgot Tony Sirico is in this.

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  He's in everything.

• 1:16:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, everybody's in it.

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  Those guys, they just, they probably had like a, you know, like Guinea Express.

• 1:16:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, they, he's from Brooklyn. They're all just, they all just know each other.

• 1:16:27Speaker 05

  It's the same 10 guys in all the movies, I think.

• 1:16:30Mark Normand?

  Johnny Ola.

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  But the thing like, even if you say like, two lines in a movie like that, that's

• 1:16:37Speaker 05

  You're a legend.

• 1:16:38Speaker 01

  At least a hundred thousand dollars. I'm not thinking just residuals.

• 1:16:40Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:16:40Mark Normand?

  Definitely.

• 1:16:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, Godfather residuals must be nice.

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  The guy who was the, the warden in Shawshank, he was like, he's at six figures. Remember when like when TNT was showing it every week?

• 1:16:51Sam Morril?

  But that guy's acting a lot, that character.

• 1:16:53Speaker 01

  Remember when you're like, you didn't know what to say to your dad, so you just put TNT on and Shawshank was playing?

• 1:16:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right, right. By the way, look this up.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  Also in Ace Man 2 or 2.

• 1:17:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:17:03Sam Morril?

  That's Ralphie's wife looking into his butt.

• 1:17:08Mark Normand?

  That's what the donut sees before Ralphie eats it.

• 1:17:12Speaker 01

  You either start living or start dieting.

• 1:17:18Mark Normand?

  He's hitting the pipe with a rock, but it's just chocolate.

• 1:17:23Mark Normand?

  Look at how much a woman speaks in Shawshank.

• 1:17:28Speaker 01

  It's just the poster. It's just the poster of Rita Hayworth.

• 1:17:30Mark Normand?

  I think so. I think it might be the record.

• 1:17:32Sam Morril?

  Any dude, I'll say, any fucking of these like mob movies, like Godfather or... Dude, The Irishman?

• 1:17:38Speaker 01

  Does that prison movie pass the Bechdel test?

• 1:17:44Mark Normand?

  10 seconds? Wow.

• 1:17:47Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:17:48Speaker 05

  Saudi Arabian approved.

• 1:17:53Speaker 01

  But even if you wa- watch it in Saudi, like TNT, their faces are blurred. They're veiled.

• 1:18:01Mark Normand?

  Uh, wait, so Mike, uh, do you have new material? Are you back on the road?

• 1:18:05Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:18:05Mark Normand?

  You just shot it all?

• 1:18:06Speaker 05

  I don't have any. I have some Pope stuff.

• 1:18:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, there you go.

• 1:18:10Sam Morril?

  That's funny. That's the first thing that Tel asked me when I got offstage last night. Do you have any Pope stuff? He's so cautious always.

• 1:18:16Speaker 05

  But you're working on these chunks. It's like, I don't know how you guys do it. I mean, I know, Sam, we talk on the phone.

• 1:18:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:22Speaker 05

  So, we're going through jokes, but um, I'm trying to work on like chunks.

• 1:18:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:27Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? And it's like, it'll work in front of some, you guys have your own audiences now. So it's like, but it's like it'll work in front of some audiences and then it won't work in some in front of other audiences. And it's like, I can't live with that. So it's like, I have to go back and then retool. So I have a bunch of those. I have a bunch of chunks that like are constructed, but not really working.

• 1:18:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:49Speaker 05

  Which is frustrating, because it's like you gotta go back. And then it's like, let me get some confidence by just writing a couple of jokes. These standalones or whatever, and then maybe they can lead to something.

• 1:18:58Speaker 01

  You don't want to cater to like just Nate's crowd, or you want stuff that can work anywhere.

• 1:19:02Speaker 05

  Right, right. Yeah, that's it. I mean, I have to survive.

• 1:19:05Sam Morril?

  Nate's crowd's gotta be hot though, right?

• 1:19:06Speaker 05

  They're hot, they're great. He's doing arenas. It's unbelievable and they're really hot, but it's like, I'm still in the clubs, in the city. And then I go on the road and work Funny Bones and stuff. So I have to kill there too.

• 1:19:15Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:19:17Speaker 05

  So it's um.

• 1:19:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you're a killer, man. You always turn it around. You always, every time, every hour, it's like.

• 1:19:22Mark Normand?

  Killer.

• 1:19:23Speaker 05

  Well, thank you.

• 1:19:23Sam Morril?

  prolific, turn it around.

• 1:19:24Speaker 05

  But uh, but, but I need to like, I find that talking it out really helps too. Cause I used to be a sit down, get a cup of coffee and just churn it out. And then see how it does in the set and then listen back or whatever, but, but it really helps to like, sit down, get on the phone and like, it's a lot of energy though. It is a lot of energy to do that. To write it and then, and then sit down and talk it out and then you just gotta keep working with it though.

• 1:19:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the writing alone and you're, it's so, I feel like sometimes I'm the only guy who can't crack a joke. You ever just stare at a thing, you're like, what is it? Where do I go? And you feel like, does other, do other people do this?

• 1:19:58Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:19:58Mark Normand?

  Just me who sucks?

• 1:19:59Sam Morril?

  Oh, I did, there was all that Epstein news yesterday. So like, I'm gonna write a good Epstein joke. I spent like a couple hours on it. I tried like eight Epstein jokes to the cellar and they all fucking whiffed.

• 1:20:08Mark Normand?

  I did the same thing.

• 1:20:08Sam Morril?

  Also, my neighbor was like, can you get me tickets? I'm like, yeah, but I'm doing what I'm gonna do. So, so now my neighbor's like, just had to watch me bomb eight Epstein jokes. And I was like, I don't give a shit.

• 1:20:16Speaker 05

  But then you get into the thing where it's like.

• 1:20:17Sam Morril?

  I'll get them back.

• 1:20:18Speaker 01

  You were on an Epstein Island.

• 1:20:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:22Speaker 05

  But it's like, you get on a thing like that where it's like, it's exciting cause it's topical, but then you do what you did there where it's like, okay, how much time do I spend on this?

• 1:20:30Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 1:20:31Speaker 05

  Like how much, I mean, we're all stubborn and like whatever, but it's like, how much time should I spend on this topic that's gonna be out of the news in six months? Or three months. It's like.

• 1:20:40Sam Morril?

  Well, it's been a few years. The Epstein jokes have still been working, you know?

• 1:20:43Mark Normand?

  But now it's a new angle that there's no list. The DOJ or whatever.

• 1:20:46Speaker 01

  Sam's Epstein jokes didn't bomb themselves.

• 1:20:50Sam Morril?

  But I mean, the, what, when did he kill himself? 2019?

• 1:20:53Mark Normand?

  Has it been that long?

• 1:20:54Sam Morril?

  I mean.

• 1:20:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was when he was murdered.

• 1:21:00Speaker 01

  I don't, yeah, I think, like, I'm not a big conspiracy theorist guy, but, a guy like that has too much confidence to kill himself.

• 1:21:08Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  There's like too many guys like that in their life.

• 1:21:10Speaker 05

  I'm one of the few people who believes he killed himself. I believe he killed himself. I believe he, he got there and was like, he had this big Italian, uh, Uh, cellmate who killed like three people and was just like a kind of a bully guy. And he was probably bullying, I could imagine. And Epstein saw that and he's like, this is jail. When I get to, I'm maybe out of penitentiary yet. Like this is the rest of my life. I'm just gonna get, um.

• 1:21:37Mark Normand?

  And he's fucking kids, which is like a big no-no.

• 1:21:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're just getting abused in prison.

• 1:21:42Mark Normand?

  And he's had a great cushy life.

• 1:21:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:45Mark Normand?

  Obviously he's fucking kids.

• 1:21:46Speaker 05

  Well, not a great life, more.

• 1:21:47Mark Normand?

  But, you know.

• 1:21:48Speaker 05

  No, actually, that's what I did. I did mean that.

• 1:21:50Sam Morril?

  I don't know. It seemed like a pretty cool life to me, dude.

• 1:21:52Speaker 01

  Do you do more pedophile jokes or less pedophile jokes now that you're a father?

• 1:21:56Mark Normand?

  I've tripled down. Now I do that to the kid.

• 1:21:59Sam Morril?

  I just had my kid introduce me to other fuckable kids.

• 1:22:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's the only reason I had him.

• 1:22:06Speaker 05

  Marsh banned from daycare.

• 1:22:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Speaker 05

  Banned from picking up his.

• 1:22:09Sam Morril?

  I remember when my sister had a baby, I got her, uh, I got her Laurie Killmarden's book about having a baby. And I didn't realize she name dropped me in the book as having a dead baby joke. So my sister's like, she mentioned you. I'm like, oh geez, I didn't, I like a joke about leaving babies. I think it was like an old joke. It was like, I saw a headline that said Stone Dad, uh, leaves baby in the oven. I'm like, it should say Stone Dad puts baby in the oven. That's like the shocking part.

• 1:22:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:22:36Sam Morril?

  Not the leaving, you know? But, uh, I didn't say it was an A-plus joke.

• 1:22:39Mark Normand?

  That's a good joke. I remember that joke.

• 1:22:42Sam Morril?

  But, uh, I was like, holy shit.

• 1:22:44Speaker 05

  That was the big Italian guy. Thanks for showing that. Yeah, that was the guy. He was a monster. He killed like three people and he just like, I think he just, he felt that and then, and then going to like a penitentiary. He's like, I, I just can't do this.

• 1:22:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:57Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:22:58Speaker 05

  But that's my, my there. I know everybody else.

• 1:23:00Mark Normand?

  Cameras were just magically off. Nobody saw it. Nobody saw him dangling there.

• 1:23:04Sam Morril?

  It is also hilarious though that like, you know, Trump's whole thing is like, we're putting out this fucking list. And then a few weeks ago, Elon Musk is like, he's on that list. That's why he's not releasing it. And now Trump's like, ah, we gotta fucking, we gotta figure it out. I don't know.

• 1:23:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, then Trump's like, we'll deport Elon. He just keeps flipping.

• 1:23:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  Trump is like Matt Damon in The Departed. He's like, we gotta fucking find this guy.

• 1:23:26Mark Normand?

  He's code switching.

• 1:23:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's it's too much to keep, oh, it's a lot to write and people go, you get so much material, huh? You know, random people and you're like, I can't do it all. It's too much.

• 1:23:37Sam Morril?

  It's tough when it's that big a story, because you're just like, well, everyone's taking swings at it. If it was like a great, so yeah, I mean, but it's almost just a way to keep the muscle strong.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:46Sam Morril?

  To tackle those.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  It's also like, you know, the the day that he was elected, like, I just knew it was gonna be exhausting. Because like, even like, the first time, like, when people who don't care about politics are like, looking up what impeachment means and all of that. Like, we didn't do that with Biden. We would not have done that with Kamala. Like, did you know about habeas corpus? Like, when the uneducated are trying to educate themselves, that's a problem.

• 1:24:10Sam Morril?

  And when everyone's like, deeming themselves a political comic, like, either go for the joke or don't. But, you know, but when everyone's like, here's the angle, here's how you should view things, you're like, that's, that's not what you do.

• 1:24:21Mark Normand?

  With Twitter, it's a 350-person writers' room. So you're like, I think I got an angle. And then you open Twitter and you're like, ah, there it is.

• 1:24:27Speaker 01

  The problem, the problem too is that most Trump jokes anybody can make.

• 1:24:32Mark Normand?

  I know, that's why it's so hard to get an original one.

• 1:24:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, and and it's like, yeah, there, what are you actually saying? It's like, you know.

• 1:24:40Mark Normand?

  It's a take, you try to get a new take.

• 1:24:42Sam Morril?

  I got this one, I don't think anyone's touched, it's about him being orange. I think it's gonna fucking hit, dude.

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  I call him Commander and Cheeto.

• 1:24:51Sam Morril?

  Whenever I see someone like, orange man, bad takes, I'm like, have you not, you don't see this is out there?

• 1:24:57Speaker 01

  You, I mean, you know that they were like, like, on all those late-night shows, they just took out their old.

• 1:25:05Speaker 01

  They just, you know, some of the jokes you're hearing now are from the first term. Like, they're just repeating them and yeah.

• 1:25:11Speaker 05

  First-term jokes.

• 1:25:13Mark Normand?

  What about his hair, though? Has anyone tackled it bad?

• 1:25:15Sam Morril?

  Nah, that's, that's, that's all you, dude.

• 1:25:17Mark Normand?

  All right, I'll try it.

• 1:25:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:20Speaker 05

  But it's old hat to us, but you put a joke out there like that, it'll go viral.

• 1:25:23Mark Normand?

  Isn't that weird?

• 1:25:24Sam Morril?

  A good, if it's, if you have a slightly original one, it could, it could pop, but.

• 1:25:28Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:25:28Sam Morril?

  Also, like, you get rewarded for speed on Twitter and those things. Like, if you, if you get, if you get there first. But, yeah, but there's accounts that just like poach your joke.

• 1:25:38Mark Normand?

  I know, is that too. You see the same joke over and over.

• 1:25:42Sam Morril?

  But now it's hard to do a late night show because by the time the show is out, everyone's like made. So yes, we really have got to have like a, a unique angle.

• 1:25:50Mark Normand?

  Well, topical word, look at Josh Johnson. It's just, it's topical. Some people like it.

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  Well, it's also Twitter. What happened was a lot of the people that got writing jobs from Twitter could not hang in an actual writing job and they stopped hiring from Twitter.

• 1:26:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was happening a lot where it's like, you to, to write on, like I've worked on like the soup, like to write on a show like that. The amount of output that you have to have, it's like you can't be like a couple zingers a day. You had to write like eighty jokes. Like you had to write a.

• 1:26:24Sam Morril?

  I don't know how you do it dude, because you're one of those people that you get a subject and Mike will fucking, like we all know this, he will rattle like so many fucking. Even working with Mike on the Netflix thing, it's, we're working on a, on a show, you just see, he is a fucking, you are built for those rooms and very few are.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  Right. Well, it's work, you know, it's like, it's that thing of, I remember when we did the movie awards in 2015 and it's like. And you, you know what's funny is like, what's great about them, it's different than stand up because stand up, it's like you are trying to find the best thing. When I write on shit like that, I put the worst thing too.

• 1:26:58Mark Normand?

  I agree, yeah, throw it all out there.

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  Cause it's also, it's like, you're not saying it.

• 1:27:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, and let them choose. Maybe I think it's the best thing.

• 1:27:05Mark Normand?

  And it can jog another thing.

• 1:27:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  There are jobs where it's just, you're just filling a page. I mean, it was like amazing, like working on the, on the globes with Nikki where it was like.

• 1:27:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, how was that?

• 1:27:16Speaker 01

  We spent like.

• 1:27:17Mark Normand?

  She killed that.

• 1:27:18Speaker 01

  Oh, it was phenomenal. And the hard work was there. Like she went up almost a hundred times.

• 1:27:23Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  She, um, basically it was like, we started in November.

• 1:27:29Speaker 01

  And it was funny, like, one of the jokes that aired was the first one that I submitted.

• 1:27:34Mark Normand?

  Hey, that feels good.

• 1:27:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:36Sam Morril?

  Do you remember the joke?

• 1:27:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like, you guys can do anything except tell people who to vote for.

• 1:27:42Sam Morril?

  Wow, you wrote that one, that's a great joke.

• 1:27:45Mark Normand?

  Great opener.

• 1:27:46Sam Morril?

  Great, great to like, it's like a nice, it's good for the room too to kind of zing them a little bit, but not too harsh.

• 1:27:52Mark Normand?

  Not too much, not your vase. They have McDay in the back, being all tall.

• 1:27:57Speaker 01

  I remember, I, I posted this photo on my own wall, and a, a white woman, of course, was like, "Oh, I bet you're the kind of guy who adopts a black baby to feel better about yourself and call yourself progressive."

• 1:28:10Mark Normand?

  Damn, she'd do it.

• 1:28:11Sam Morril?

  You should be like, "No, I do it for human trafficking."

• 1:28:15Sam Morril?

  It's actually much worse.

• 1:28:18Speaker 01

  If you heard of Mark Norman, he's gonna buy them in a few years.

• 1:28:21Mark Normand?

  I don't go with the black ones.

• 1:28:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:22Mark Normand?

  But, yeah, but, I'm a little appalled by the diversity.

• 1:28:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:27Mark Normand?

  I'm sure that came up at some point.

• 1:28:28Speaker 01

  Right, oh yeah.

• 1:28:30Mark Normand?

  Good times.

• 1:28:30Speaker 01

  The guy next to JP is black.

• 1:28:34Mark Normand?

  Not on my watch.

• 1:28:36Speaker 01

  And the guy in his photo.

• 1:28:38Mark Normand?

  That's a Meghan Markle.

• 1:28:38Sam Morril?

  It's like, where's Waldo?

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  And then, and then, okay, the guy next to him, that's John Max, he writes on everything.

• 1:28:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:28:47Speaker 01

  He, he is the guy. He writes on every single award show, he was one of Joe Coy's guys.

• 1:28:54Mark Normand?

  Ooh, I'll put that out.

• 1:28:55Speaker 01

  But it is Paul.

• 1:28:57Sam Morril?

  But you're him. He actually wrote the line where he said, "You should blame us."

• 1:29:01Mark Normand?

  You're gonna be that, when he dies, that's you, baby?

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  I hope so, yeah.

• 1:29:05Mark Normand?

  I think you got that spot.

• 1:29:06Speaker 01

  I'm trying to vantage my beard, you know?

• 1:29:10Mark Normand?

  Circle gets the square, but, yeah, you're gonna be that guy.

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  I would happily be that guy.

• 1:29:15Mark Normand?

  When you guys walked in, was it like Reginald Vel Johnson and Avery?

• 1:29:20Speaker 01

  We, we, we, we worked on a thing with Brad Pitt together, me and that guy.

• 1:29:25Sam Morril?

  What was that?

• 1:29:26Speaker 01

  It was just, he was doing like some, um, aw, award show speech, he was, uh, presenting David Fincher or something in France.

• 1:29:33Sam Morril?

  And you wrote jokes for Brad Pitt?

• 1:29:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:35Sam Morril?

  How did that come about?

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  Through him, because I, I did the, the spear.

• 1:29:40Sam Morril?

  Brad said, "Can you help me with this custody hearing too I'm working on? Give me a couple zingers on top."

• 1:29:45Speaker 01

  Can you write from the perspective of a beleaguered, adopted dad?

• 1:29:50Mark Normand?

  Because they're both adopted black kids.

• 1:29:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, but, uh, no.

• 1:29:54Sam Morril?

  But he doesn't keep in touch with any of them.

• 1:29:56Mark Normand?

  No, no, whoa.

• 1:29:58Speaker 01

  Elon doesn't either. I'm trying to, you know, the autistic dad thing, I'm trying to, you know,

• 1:30:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:03Speaker 01

  Take that back too.

• 1:30:04Sam Morril?

  So what was it like working with Brad Pitt?

• 1:30:06Speaker 01

  I mean, you just sent jokes.

• 1:30:08Sam Morril?

  And did he respond or no?

• 1:30:10Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know. No, he never did to me. Like, John was like, working with him directly.

• 1:30:16Mark Normand?

  He ran him at the coffee store, right?

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  Paid in cash and, and sent like, a fucking like, $500 bottle of wine.

• 1:30:23Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:30:23Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:30:24Speaker 01

  And you're like, I don't drink wine? It's so funny that, yeah, I know. I was like, can you get me more action figures, please? Can you get me Angelina Jolie, who played Ajax in the internet?

• 1:30:33Sam Morril?

  I heard that. I heard his new movie's good, the F1 movie?

• 1:30:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, I like to see that.

• 1:30:37Speaker 05

  He's actually great, man. He's a great actor.

• 1:30:38Sam Morril?

  Fuck, great.

• 1:30:39Mark Normand?

  He's doing the rounds, doing fucking.

• 1:30:40Sam Morril?

  Let's get him on here.

• 1:30:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's awesome.

• 1:30:42Mark Normand?

  That was fun.

• 1:30:42Speaker 01

  Bullet Train was great.

• 1:30:43Sam Morril?

  Was it?

• 1:30:44Mark Normand?

  It was a lot of fun.

• 1:30:45Speaker 01

  And Angelina Jolie played Athena, not Ajax, that was Osama Haig. I know someone would be upset and it would be me.

• 1:30:50Mark Normand?

  I was upset.

• 1:30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Brad Pitt's run has been pretty fucking amazing.

• 1:30:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:30:54Sam Morril?

  He's in so many good movies.

• 1:30:55Mark Normand?

  He produces good movies, too.

• 1:30:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:57Mark Normand?

  He did the Departed.

• 1:30:58Speaker 01

  I love that he's the guy who frees the slaves in 12 Years of Slave. And he produced it.

• 1:31:04Sam Morril?

  I wonder who should play the hero here?

• 1:31:06Speaker 01

  Me.

• 1:31:07Speaker 05

  He also played, didn't he play a Nazi? Or did he play a Nazi? He beat the Nazis.

• 1:31:12Mark Normand?

  He was like a fogborn Leghorn.

• 1:31:14Sam Morril?

  He was cool as fuck in that movie.

• 1:31:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:16Speaker 05

  All I know is Fight Club.

• 1:31:18Sam Morril?

  Fight Club's good.

• 1:31:18Mark Normand?

  I'll talk about it.

• 1:31:19Speaker 01

  I didn't watch it till too late. Fight Club was ruined by the people who love Fight Club.

• 1:31:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:25Speaker 05

  Well, that's me.

• 1:31:26Speaker 01

  It's like Phish, like, your fans aren't helping you, yeah.

• 1:31:29Sam Morril?

  But they're just, they're just both so good, man. I love those two actors, but, uh...

• 1:31:33Speaker 05

  And David Fincher is awesome.

• 1:31:35Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:31:36Mark Normand?

  Well, I see that book you were talking about, about the, uh, not, not producing the movies that are great. That, I would say the same for Review, guys. I just watched the Led Zeppelin doc. They gave horrible, horrible reviews to Led Zeppelin out of the gate. This band sucks, they're not talented, they're the worst. Sorry, that came out of nowhere.

• 1:31:52Sam Morril?

  No, I know what you mean.

• 1:31:53Mark Normand?

  But, uh, yeah, like, they don't put on shows that are good, but they also review everything horribly.

• 1:31:58Speaker 01

  Well, you know, you, you, you were asking me about pet peeves, right?

• 1:32:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:02Sam Morril?

  Please, we gotta get to some.

• 1:32:03Speaker 01

  And reviews was a big one for me. Cause like, you know, the, the Superman movie is coming out, I'm really excited about it. And, you know, they just lifted the embargo and there's people, you know, review bombing it because they like the Zack Snyder stuff and all that. My, my big pet peeve is, don't listen to reviews.

• 1:32:21Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  I was talking to a friend and this whole thing was like, me and my wife wanted to go to a movie and we couldn't decide, cause this had this on Rotten Tomatoes. It's like, just go to the movies to go to the movies.

• 1:32:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Fight Club was horribly reviewed.

• 1:32:34Speaker 05

  Is it horribly reviewed?

• 1:32:35Sam Morril?

  No, I think, I think it got booed at a festival. I think it was pretty well reviewed.

• 1:32:38Mark Normand?

  Ah, pull it up. I think it was like, this is like a man-child, uh, you know, bullshit movie, blah, blah, blah. Alright, I take it.

• 1:32:49Sam Morril?

  Eddie one's pretty good.

• 1:32:49Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:32:50Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's a credible review.

• 1:32:51Speaker 01

  You know that 96% popcorn is beating up the 4% that didn't.

• 1:32:57Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, it's like, I remember.

• 1:32:58Sam Morril?

  That's a therapy for sure.

• 1:32:59Mark Normand?

  But like, uh, Shawshank bombed, you know, when it came out?

• 1:33:03Speaker 01

  Theatrically, yeah.

• 1:33:04Sam Morril?

  That's crazy.

• 1:33:04Speaker 01

  Nominee for Best Picture, but.

• 1:33:06Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  But it bombed. But, I mean, I had one of those moms who was like, I don't want to take you to those Adam Sandler movies and those Chris Farley movies. Cause they always got like, bad ratings in the paper.

• 1:33:16Mark Normand?

  Sure, Ace Ventura got bad reviews.

• 1:33:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:33:18Mark Normand?

  You know, all the comedies get horrible write-ups.

• 1:33:20Speaker 01

  Well, there was the thing in the In Living Color book, um, it's a great book, uh, homie don't play that. Where they talk about bullying Jim Carrey, cause they're like, he would, he would stay at the office after, um, everyone went home and work on Ace Ventura.

• 1:33:37Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:33:38Speaker 01

  But they were like, there were the amount of people that they, that was a, a dead script that they had passed from this person to that person. And they're like, there's no way this is gonna work. And the talking out of the butt thing and, you know.

• 1:33:48Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:33:49Sam Morril?

  Who else could have pulled that off, though?

• 1:33:50Speaker 05

  I mean, that was like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he was honing that character on stage for years, right?

• 1:33:54Mark Normand?

  Maybe. Oh, that's great. That is my nightmare.

• 1:33:59Speaker 01

  Thanks for not, I, I like that you didn't do Nikki so I can work again.

• 1:34:06Mark Normand?

  Ah. It looks like he walks.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  It's somehow more diverse now.

• 1:34:14Speaker 01

  Look at all of those fathers of black children.

• 1:34:18Sam Morril?

  I worked out some peeves. Let me see what I got for a peeve.

• 1:34:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I got a couple peeves.

• 1:34:21Sam Morril?

  I got some peeves.

• 1:34:22Mark Normand?

  This is a classic peeve. Maybe I've said it before, but it just gets annoying. You know when you're in a room with one guy, just you and a guy in a room? And you go, uh, what'd you eat for lunch? And they go, who, me? No, you're the only guy here. That drives me fucking nuts.

• 1:34:35Sam Morril?

  Who, me?

• 1:34:35Speaker 01

  That feels like, like you're pitching on the first day of Seinfeld.

• 1:34:42Speaker 01

  Who, me?

• 1:34:42Speaker 05

  But that's not a small talk though, Mark, isn't it? Is it, is it, is it small talk?

• 1:34:47Mark Normand?

  Well.

• 1:34:47Speaker 05

  Well, who, me? Is he setting you up to let you know what the big lunch was?

• 1:34:51Mark Normand?

  Well, I just mind-boggling. I'm like, who else? There's no one else here. Who else would I be talking to? The who, me? Like, oh, oh, me? Like, he's caught off-guard?

• 1:34:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:34:59Mark Normand?

  I don't get it. It's crazy. I'm talking to you. I'm looking at you. You're the only person here, but you go, me? Yeah, you.

• 1:35:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, who are you hanging out with? Betty Boop? What is this?

• 1:35:09Speaker 01

  Who, me?

• 1:35:10Speaker 05

  I got a good one.

• 1:35:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, me?

• 1:35:12Speaker 05

  It's, uh, when you're on a plane and they, you land and they take off the seatbelt sign. It's supposed to filter out just one row. It's naturally one row at a time filtering out. Everybody knows that. And, but there's always usually one person who gets their bags immediately and tries to run for it. And they make it like maybe four seats up and then they're stopped and then they're confused as to how they're stopped. They're like, what, what, what do we? It's, they don't have to catch another flight. I understand if you got a connecting flight. Or you do like, I got a connecting flight.

• 1:35:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, who was it?

• 1:35:49Speaker 05

  But it happens. I'm, I'm not kidding. It's like at least once, at lea- every time.

• 1:35:55Mark Normand?

  Every time.

• 1:35:55Speaker 05

  Every time. There's at least one person who gets their bags and then rushes up and then is perplexed.

• 1:36:02Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:36:02Speaker 05

  That they only got four rows. And they're like, what the?

• 1:36:05Mark Normand?

  Every time.

• 1:36:06Speaker 05

  What do you think is going on here?

• 1:36:08Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 1:36:09Speaker 05

  It's like, you see the natural progression of things. It's like, that's what it is.

• 1:36:14Speaker 01

  Well, it's also like when you, when you land early. You always end up losing that time taxiing.

• 1:36:20Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:36:21Speaker 01

  It was like I, I just landed forty minutes, you know, we got there forty minutes early, we still exited the plane on time.

• 1:36:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they always, it happened to be yesterday, actually. That's true.

• 1:36:32Speaker 01

  Do you think there's a quicker way to get out of the plane, or the way they have it is the way that it works?

• 1:36:37Mark Normand?

  In Europe, they open the back door. So you can flood out like that, and it's so much better.

• 1:36:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:42Mark Normand?

  But they won't do that in America.

• 1:36:43Sam Morril?

  They won't open the back door.

• 1:36:44Mark Normand?

  There's a back door on the plane.

• 1:36:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Uh, it's like my last relationship, she wouldn't open the back door.

• 1:36:51Mark Normand?

  In Europe, they would.

• 1:36:53Sam Morril?

  I got a, I got a call from someone I haven't talked to in like twelve years, and-

• 1:36:57Mark Normand?

  Your dad?

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  This is Brian Cox.

• 1:37:05Mark Normand?

  The character is pathetic.

• 1:37:06Sam Morril?

  He left me a, a message, and it was no context, just, "Hey, Sam, it's Kevin." That's the message. It's been twelve years, I need some context.

• 1:37:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, come on.

• 1:37:16Sam Morril?

  I need something more than just, it's, I can see who it is.

• 1:37:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. That's, that's annoying. How about this guy? "Hey, man, can I, can I borrow like sixty bucks? How are you?" He does, throws the "how are you" in after, after the favor. It's like to be like, "I'm not just asking for money, I'm, I'm checking in too."

• 1:37:34Sam Morril?

  The "how are you" before is also annoying, though.

• 1:37:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, maybe it's worse before.

• 1:37:39Sam Morril?

  They're both bad, but, uh-

• 1:37:42Speaker 05

  Would you rather have just a Venmo request?

• 1:37:45Mark Normand?

  I'd rather that, I'd rather that.

• 1:37:46Sam Morril?

  Just, "Hey, can I ask you something?" Uh, yeah, just like that. "How are you?" You don't care how I'm doing.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  It's like you can't borrow money expecting it back. If you ever lend someone money, you have to accept that it's gone.

• 1:37:58Mark Normand?

  I know, that's, that's a bummer. And then if you ask for it back, somehow they get mad at you.

• 1:38:02Speaker 01

  Cause there was like, I don't know, there was a moment, like, when you're an adult of like, "I can never ask for money again." I don't know when it was, but it just felt like, it, it, because someone would do it to you and you're like,

• 1:38:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:13Speaker 01

  Oh, that's sad. Yeah, boy.

• 1:38:15Sam Morril?

  I also don't like when they bring up, they go, I know I owe you money, by the way. I'm like, that does nothing for me.

• 1:38:19Mark Normand?

  Nah.

• 1:38:20Sam Morril?

  You're just, you're aware of it? That's great.

• 1:38:22Mark Normand?

  That's even worse.

• 1:38:23Speaker 01

  We have a tab?

• 1:38:25Mark Normand?

  Or how about when they owe you 500 bucks or whatever, and you're at a, a bodega and you're like, I'll get the coke, and they'll go, let me get the coke.

• 1:38:33Mark Normand?

  This square, it's a dollar forty-eight.

• 1:38:35Speaker 01

  You just go four hundred and ninety-eight dollars and fifty cents.

• 1:38:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:41Sam Morril?

  I got, I got another peeve, just a simple peeve, referrals at the doctor's office. I hate refer, I have to go to the doctor to see another doctor?

• 1:38:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's crazy.

• 1:38:51Sam Morril?

  You need to write me a thing so I can see the doctor I actually need to see. I hate that.

• 1:38:54Speaker 05

  But sometimes there's no referral, which is confusing also, which is like, oh, we'll just take care of it. We'll just,

• 1:38:59Sam Morril?

  I love that.

• 1:39:00Speaker 05

  Yeah. But it's like, I thought I needed a referral. You don't.

• 1:39:04Speaker 01

  The difference in quality between the Paw Patrol movies and the Paw Patrol series, let me just fucking tell you. You'll know.

• 1:39:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, do you have any qualms with the TV showing screen time? You worried about that at all with the kids?

• 1:39:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's fine. I mean, you know, Miss Rachel really triggered my autism. It was hard for me to watch because they do like zoom-ins of her mouth. It's like very sensory, like ASMR. Cause she's a speech therapist, so she's like teaching kids to talk.

• 1:39:31Mark Normand?

  Weird.

• 1:39:31Speaker 01

  It is like very helpful for kids, but it's also, it was excruciating for me to watch.

• 1:39:37Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:39:38Speaker 01

  But he loved it. It was his first thing that he watched and, you know, she's, she's, uh, I just did an episode of, uh, my podcast all, all about her because of all the controversies that she's gotten in.

• 1:39:48Mark Normand?

  The Gaza stuff?

• 1:39:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:50Speaker 01

  Which aren't even real controversies, but it's just the people that go after her.

• 1:39:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:39:55Sam Morril?

  What's the name of your pod, Mike?

• 1:39:56Speaker 01

  Uh, Nerd of Mouth.

• 1:39:57Sam Morril?

  Nerd of Mouth.

• 1:39:57Speaker 01

  But her whole, her whole thing was about like, kids shouldn't die, and that's a hot take. They called her like an agent for Hamas.

• 1:40:06Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, anti-Semitic. She, cause she did a video with a three-year-old Palestinian amputee.

• 1:40:14Mark Normand?

  Ew. Yikes, I'm trying to have a nice Sunday here.

• 1:40:22Speaker 01

  Starting to enjoy my matzah.

• 1:40:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:24Sam Morril?

  I don't know who's the agent of Hamas, but I think they work at WME as well. I got a great deal for you.

• 1:40:30Mark Normand?

  Boy, she must be loaded, right? I mean, the amount of views she has.

• 1:40:33Speaker 01

  Well, now, yeah, I mean, she has, uh, you know.

• 1:40:40Speaker 01

  That's how I feel about her controversies. But she, she has, you know, merchandise and all that, like toys at Target and Netflix deal.

• 1:40:49Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:40:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:50Mark Normand?

  Good for the smarter Netflix. I mean, no Brian Cox.

• 1:40:52Speaker 01

  She built it herself in 2019, like started the channel. And then, you know, the pandemic was like, there is something, I don't know if you're there yet, but when your kid first starts watching TV, that relief that you have of not having to worry about them the entire time is intoxicating.

• 1:41:11Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. That's why you go on these YouTube kid stuff and it's like eight trillion views. Cause it's every parent in America just be like, yeah.

• 1:41:19Speaker 01

  And they put autoplay on, so it never ends.

• 1:41:21Mark Normand?

  Right, exactly.

• 1:41:23Speaker 05

  What about the pen?

• 1:41:25Mark Normand?

  The who?

• 1:41:25Speaker 05

  The crib. Isn't the crib protect them? I don't have any kids.

• 1:41:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:41:29Speaker 05

  But the crib, unless you're putting the pen, I'm sorry. Not a pen, that's what.

• 1:41:34Speaker 01

  But the thing is, sometimes there's an Italian baby in there and he intimidates you and then you hang yourself on the mobile.

• 1:41:44Mark Normand?

  How old is Miss Rachel?

• 1:41:46Speaker 01

  I think forty-two, forty-three.

• 1:41:48Mark Normand?

  She must have wild sex. Cause you have to, you have to go the other way.

• 1:41:51Sam Morril?

  Is there a Mr. Rachel?

• 1:41:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. That's her husband, Mr. Aaron, forty-two. He's a music director and they do all the stuff together.

• 1:42:00Mark Normand?

  Wow, she's from Maine. How about that?

• 1:42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:02Mark Normand?

  All right. Good for her. She's, she's killing it. And kids love her. Kids love her. It's almost like a hex she puts on you.

• 1:42:09Speaker 01

  Well, cause so much stuff made for kids is like garbage, like designed to be garbage, like Cocoon Melon and all of that. It's like very like quick cuts and things. And her thing is like focusing on her and eye contact.

• 1:42:22Sam Morril?

  Cause you talk to them like they're people, right?

• 1:42:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's called parentese.

• 1:42:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:26Speaker 01

  That's, that's the language of like how you change your voice and everything. Like I miss Rachel porn. Jesus.

• 1:42:34Mark Normand?

  You pull up his Rachel porn.

• 1:42:36Speaker 01

  Did he put my face on it instead?

• 1:42:38Mark Normand?

  No, no, don't do that. I'll never get a voter again.

• 1:42:43Mark Normand?

  Alright, there we go. We got Rodney's box.

• 1:42:48Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, did I skip a peeve? Did someone say a peeve? Or does someone have one?

• 1:42:52Sam Morril?

  I had, I had to referral one, but yeah.

• 1:42:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit, I had another one. Oh, how about this guy? I'm gonna fuck this up. But the guy who goes, um, he won't just tell you something, he makes you have to say it. You know, I'll be like, uh, remember that diner we went to last week? And you go, uh, I don't know. He goes, you remember the diner? Come on, it was the one on 34th. I'm like, well, what about it? And he's like, what, you know, you know the diner? And I'm like, just tell me the diner. He has to make you, he has to pull it out of you. Drives me crazy.

• 1:43:20Speaker 01

  That was our friendship, but you were always drunk and I was always sober, so I had to remember the diner.

• 1:43:26Sam Morril?

  You actually did fill in the blanks for us a couple of times.

• 1:43:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. I don't know how you did it, cause those earlier's were so hard. Like, I had a day job, I was living out in Crown Heights, I was getting mugged, doing open mics, and I had to have a fucking drink. And you stayed, stayed straight.

• 1:43:41Sam Morril?

  Well, he had his other, he had his soda and his candy.

• 1:43:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, and my action figures.

• 1:43:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:45Speaker 01

  Well, I gave, I gave those up when I moved to New York and then I started collecting again when I moved to LA. And it is, it is a, it is a genuine addiction. Cause I'll, I'll buy one sometimes and it doesn't, you don't feel anything. And that's when you're like, okay, I gotta stop for a while.

• 1:44:00Sam Morril?

  Was there one you had your eye on in like a big gig? You're like, I'm getting this one for this. What was that?

• 1:44:04Speaker 01

  Galactus.

• 1:44:05Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 1:44:06Speaker 01

  Galact, the HasLab Galactus is, he was like, it's like a $400.

• 1:44:11Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:44:12Speaker 01

  He's 32 inches, yes. And he comes with other figures. It's, yeah, I have it in my living room.

• 1:44:18Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's your tall boy.

• 1:44:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:21Mark Normand?

  Look at that. 600 bucks.

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  That's on the aftermarket, but yeah.

• 1:44:26Mark Normand?

  Can we get you like a, a used one? Like a car?

• 1:44:29Speaker 01

  No, I have one.

• 1:44:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, you got one?

• 1:44:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I got it when it came out, yeah.

• 1:44:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, you made it.

• 1:44:34Speaker 01

  Well, that was always great was like, you know, when I would have a job and it's like, okay, I could get this and this and this. And then, you know, when you're not working, you're like, all right, just gotta stay lean. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But there are, but what they used to do is, if this is boring, I'll stop. But they build a figures where you get six figures and each figure has a piece and you put it together. So you end up buying shit you don't want just to make a bigger thing. Whoa.

• 1:45:03Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:45:04Mark Normand?

  That's a metaphor.

• 1:45:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:07Mark Normand?

  It's so funny.

• 1:45:08Speaker 05

  Are you ever doing that and your wife's, I'm sorry.

• 1:45:10Speaker 01

  What did you say?

• 1:45:10Speaker 05

  You ever doing that and your wife's like, could you cut the lawn or redo the deck?

• 1:45:16Speaker 05

  It's like you're putting together this complicated action figure.

• 1:45:18Speaker 01

  She knows what I am.

• 1:45:20Speaker 05

  It's like, we need the bathroom redone. It's like you could take your action figure skills and redo the bathroom.

• 1:45:26Mark Normand?

  More skills though.

• 1:45:27Speaker 01

  Mike, when I got my official autism diagnosis at thirty-eight and told her, she's like, yeah, you think I didn't fucking know?

• 1:45:35Speaker 05

  How did you get diagnosed with it? How did it play out?

• 1:45:39Speaker 01

  Well, I took, I took a test and it's, so you talk to like the psychologist for like a few hours. Then you have to talk to your parents. That's the worst part.

• 1:45:49Speaker 05

  With no eye contact.

• 1:45:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:54Speaker 01

  No, now you're self-aware, so you have to try to make it. It's way worse.

• 1:45:58Speaker 01

  It was, it was so funny as my dad was like, yeah, I probably had that too. And then my mom was like, I didn't know you weren't supposed to smoke when you were pregnant.

• 1:46:08Speaker 01

  And, and then you, it was so funny. I had to go into the psychology office and, you know, the waiting room. And it's just me and a bunch of kids, cause that's when you're supposed to get tested. Yeah. And then you're doing all of these different, you know, cognitive tests and memory tests and things like that.

• 1:46:26Mark Normand?

  Was it cool to be with a kid? You could compare action figures?

• 1:46:30Speaker 01

  Mine were better. No, and then, yeah, and then I got the diagnosis. Yeah. And it was, and I remember like, oh God, what if my wife thinks differently of me? And she's like, yeah. Fucking, of course I knew, yeah.

• 1:46:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, damn, but.

• 1:46:43Speaker 01

  She's like, I've been making excuses for you. She's like, you're a grown man in a Silver Surfer shirt. I knew. Put it together.

• 1:46:50Mark Normand?

  Adina's awesome, she gets it.

• 1:46:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, she is awesome.

• 1:46:52Speaker 05

  She got it.

• 1:46:53Mark Normand?

  She got it, and you can sound cool on a date, you're like, you know, uh, it's Brad Pitt gig, I made six figures.

• 1:46:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:02Speaker 01

  And I made Brad Pitt, I had to get him to make six different Brad Pitt action figures.

• 1:47:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah, on a date, you sound great, six figures, you're working with Brad Pitt, you're at the Golden Globes, I mean, you're, you're killing it.

• 1:47:14Speaker 01

  She'll say that shit for me, cause I always feel weird doing it, it's like, you know, my work, I was like, I didn't ever even talk to him or anything, I just sent jokes.

• 1:47:22Speaker 05

  And I have this wine that he sent me.

• 1:47:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:47:25Speaker 01

  Is there anyone else you work with that were like, that was really random like that? Oh, all the time, yeah.

• 1:47:29Mark Normand?

  You got quite a resume.

• 1:47:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you know, when you write like for award shows and stuff, it's like you're writing for everybody, like you're writing, everything is written, you have to write the intros, you have to write the outros, you know? That, that guy Max, he, uh, often does the patter, but there's like patter people where that's their job. When you see two celebrities on stage just talking, like, there's guys who, they just write that.

• 1:47:52Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:47:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, hey, Viola Davis, you look well. It's like, that's a good line, thank you. But the, but, but the monologue, the way that like, the monologue works, it was like funny with, with the Globes, it's like you get a seating chart, and it was funny. So like, two days before the Globes, we are all sitting there because you're helping Nikki with memorizing where everybody is. So, we're all, we got footage of this where they would like show us, I was Tilda Swinton, she's like, Tilda Swinton is here, and it's just me going, eh. But we would wave so that she would know, like, when the show's happening, that's where Tilda is, that's where, you know, Shalamar is. So they have to know all of that shit in advance.

• 1:48:33Mark Normand?

  That makes sense, geez.

• 1:48:35Speaker 01

  It's funny too, the politics of who sits at what table and everything.

• 1:48:39Speaker 05

  And when to make the hallopecia joke?

• 1:48:43Speaker 05

  And then the slap, which you write, I assume?

• 1:48:46Mark Normand?

  That's patter.

• 1:48:48Speaker 01

  I know the guy who wrote that joke.

• 1:48:51Speaker 01

  See, someone writing Will Smith is like, "I like pretty girls." Like, that's it. No, I'm straight. The only thing I'll say about that joke is like, you know, I've talked to the guy and it's like, he wrote 20. That's the one they picked and he never, you know, he wasn't thinking, oh, this would, you know. And then Chris Rock picked it and he didn't think that would happen either.

• 1:49:09Mark Normand?

  No one did. Such a nothing joke.

• 1:49:10Speaker 05

  Jalapeno, yeah.

• 1:49:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:49:12Mark Normand?

  G.I. Jane? Come on.

• 1:49:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:49:14Mark Normand?

  Crazy. Uh, Mike, you were a wrestler?

• 1:49:20Speaker 01

  Byron Allen, everybody? Well!

• 1:49:25Speaker 01

  It's coming back.

• 1:49:26Mark Normand?

  Is it?

• 1:49:26Speaker 01

  It replaced, uh, um, After Midnight. Byron Allen is? Yeah, Comics Unleashed.

• 1:49:32Speaker 05

  Oh, Comics Unleashed. I just got the email.

• 1:49:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, hey!

• 1:49:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:49:37Speaker 01

  It's in the 1235 slot.

• 1:49:38Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:49:39Mark Normand?

  Nice. That guy needs more money. He owns the Weather Channel.

• 1:49:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. No.

• 1:49:45Mark Normand?

  How is that still a channel?

• 1:49:47Speaker 01

  I know. I think we talked about this already.

• 1:49:48Mark Normand?

  This is Seinfeld episode 2, bitch. How is the Weather Channel a channel?

• 1:49:53Speaker 01

  Well, you just go outside. It's part of the party!

• 1:50:00Speaker 01

  You, you've met him a few times. Do you ever have an inkling to do the voice in front of him?

• 1:50:05Mark Normand?

  He enjoys it.

• 1:50:06Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:50:07Mark Normand?

  He enjoys it. He's, he's very, uh, thick-skinned. He can really zing him and he's cool with everything. I mean, you see him with these Palestine hecklers. He's just like, "Yeah, fuck you," you know, he doesn't get phased at all.

• 1:50:19Speaker 01

  I saw an interview where he was like, he said he liked being made fun of, which is like, it's probably the right attitude.

• 1:50:25Mark Normand?

  He did SNL and the whole sketch is, "What's the deal with coffee tables? There, there's no coffee on it," you know, and he's right along with him.

• 1:50:31Speaker 05

  Right, right.

• 1:50:33Mark Normand?

  Which, you know, it's kind of funny.

• 1:50:35Speaker 05

  Well, that whole 30 Rock thing was Tina Fey crying.

• 1:50:38Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:50:38Speaker 05

  He's like, "Are you doing me?" He's, "Oh, I'm crying." "Are you doing an impression of me?" He's like, "No, I'm dead." It's hilarious.

• 1:50:47Mark Normand?

  Craig Blackface was on NBC.

• 1:50:49Speaker 01

  Who was?

• 1:50:51Mark Normand?

  Blackface, she did blackface on the show a couple times.

• 1:50:53Speaker 01

  Oh. Oh, he said Kramer Blackface was on NBC.

• 1:50:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, he did blackface as well on Seinfeld.

• 1:50:59Speaker 01

  Kramer did? Oh, it was a chicken episode?

• 1:51:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, a different one. That one.

• 1:51:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was like tan, it wasn't blackface, it was like, he was tanned.

• 1:51:07Mark Normand?

  He was super tanned, he was dating a black girl and he shows up to the house and the dad got offended.

• 1:51:12Speaker 01

  Dude, I, I, I think he might have been the one who showed me, Mark, but he, he, him apologizing on Letterman.

• 1:51:18Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:51:19Speaker 01

  And then, and then sign for going, stop, it's not funny, come on.

• 1:51:23Mark Normand?

  Laughing, cause we've, we've laughed at the guy for fifteen years straight and then all of a sudden.

• 1:51:27Speaker 01

  Well, also, the warm-up person is like, come on, everybody. He's gotta keep the energy up.

• 1:51:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, this guy used to send me shirts and they were like, kinda, they were like basketball shirts mixed with pop culture, this company and one of the shirts, they were, some were really cool. Like he did like a Knicks one, a Death Row Records Knicks one, but then he did one he sent me and it was Kramer in blackface, he's a black guy, so he thinks it's funny. But I was like, I can't wear this fucking shirt, do you wanna think I'm a psycho?

• 1:51:53Speaker 01

  You have to, you have to show them the fork that stuck up your ass.

• 1:51:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, I forgot about that. Was it, that's not it.

• 1:52:01Sam Morril?

  That's not it, I don't know where it is.

• 1:52:03Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:52:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, man.

• 1:52:05Speaker 01

  I, I, I started around the time that happened and.

• 1:52:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:09Speaker 01

  And it was interesting, you know, it's like, there's that part of me that's like, it did feel like people were saying he's an amateur and he had done a lot of stand-up before, right?

• 1:52:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, he was more character.

• 1:52:22Sam Morril?

  Right, right.

• 1:52:23Speaker 05

  But was he, he was a stand-up?

• 1:52:26Mark Normand?

  I think in the way of he stood on stage and did pratfalls and so he didn't have like set up punch stuff.

• 1:52:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:52:32Mark Normand?

  Like he used to go on Johnny Carson, just him and just, he had a whole character where he was a bad, uh, weightlifter and all the weights would fall off the rack.

• 1:52:40Sam Morril?

  Right, right. He was a great physical comedian, but yeah, that's, I, I think they meant amateurs and like, he didn't really know how to handle himself when things would go south.

• 1:52:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:52:49Mark Normand?

  And he'd been, you know, praised for years and years, then all of a sudden he's getting heckled and yelled at.

• 1:52:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:52:53Mark Normand?

  Remember him in UHF?

• 1:52:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, Stanley Spadavski.

• 1:52:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:57Speaker 01

  You feel when they take that mop.

• 1:52:59Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, that killed him.

• 1:53:01Speaker 01

  He's the villain and problem child.

• 1:53:04Mark Normand?

  That killed me as a kid.

• 1:53:05Speaker 01

  Damn, he's so young.

• 1:53:07Mark Normand?

  Look at that, wow. Hey, this weird owl, he's coming to the garden, you see that?

• 1:53:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:53:13Mark Normand?

  I might go.

• 1:53:14Speaker 01

  He was, he was a guy too, right? He was like the stickler on Seinfeld, right? Like in the outtakes. Richard would be the one who was mad all the time.

• 1:53:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was super.

• 1:53:22Speaker 04

  We had Larry Charles on, I'm sorry, we had Larry Charles on, oh, we're having him on in the future, I guess.

• 1:53:27Speaker 01

  No, we had him on at this point, yeah.

• 1:53:29Speaker 04

  Uh, he said he'd never seen Michael Richards laugh, or smile.

• 1:53:33Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:53:33Speaker 01

  Until that night at the live.

• 1:53:37Sam Morril?

  It is funny when comedians get described like the biggest sociopaths ever, like he's never smiled once. You're in comedy, you don't smile ever? You're surrounded by Jason Alexander, Seinfeld, Elaine.

• 1:53:49Speaker 01

  And knowing where that's coming from Larry Charles of like, you know, writing scripts for him and hoping that he laughs and oh, man, I want this guy to love this thing.

• 1:53:57Mark Normand?

  He was just so dialed in and he just obsessed. If you would, if you would mess up, he'd go, come on, come on, what are you doing?

• 1:54:03Sam Morril?

  I think he gave a lot physically to those scenes, so if, I think it's like when you get annoyed, when you're given so much and it's not working out, you're like, I can't keep fucking summoning this.

• 1:54:12Mark Normand?

  There's a scene where the AC falls out the window and he does a thing where he chases it and he breaks a rib. So he was a kind of a Buster Keaton, he was like, I'll go all in.

• 1:54:21Speaker 05

  He's not a veteran.

• 1:54:23Speaker 05

  Actually, the guy's like a war hero, he's like, I don't know, I mean, I'm all for what you're saying, but.

• 1:54:30Speaker 01

  Don't worry, the heart is purple, it's not black. It, it, it's crazy, cause like, he, that show, like, the, he is a part of the secret sauce, obviously, but like, that, that is how you make a show of just protect, like, Jerry was genius of protecting yourself with just the best performers and and the three of the, you know, you know, George, Elaine and Kramer are completely different.

• 1:54:55Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:54:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. But they're all, you know, that you have physically, cause there were so many Seinfeld clones, but they didn't have the physical comedian or.

• 1:55:02Speaker 05

  But before that, it was all. Family, everybody was trying to do Cosby.

• 1:55:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:07Speaker 05

  Everybody was trying to do family comedies, because it's like, we need to sell, we need, they get, family comedies are what's hot, and then that came in, and it was like, you know, obviously, we know the story, it's like, they, and the guy at NBC believed in it, or else it wouldn't have got that kind of a run.

• 1:55:22Sam Morril?

  They were trying to do Cosby, he was trying to do them.

• 1:55:25Speaker 01

  And it didn't get a proper 22 episodes till the third season.

• 1:55:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:29Mark Normand?

  They had a time, time move, and that helped them. They were after Cheers at some point, that helped the ratings. But you did have Taxi and Mary Tyler, Mary Tyler Moore.

• 1:55:38Sam Morril?

  Taxi's so good.

• 1:55:38Mark Normand?

  Taxi's good, that's not a family.

• 1:55:40Speaker 01

  Barney Miller.

• 1:55:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:42Speaker 05

  But I felt like after Cosby, everybody was really trying to force the family.

• 1:55:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:46Speaker 01

  And the TGIF.

• 1:55:47Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent, a hundred percent.

• 1:55:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they go with what works, that's the simplest.

• 1:55:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, right.

• 1:55:52Sam Morril?

  You know.

• 1:55:53Speaker 05

  And for something new to break, somebody has to take a risk.

• 1:55:55Mark Normand?

  Yes, probably why Married with Children worked, because it was like the anti-Cosby.

• 1:55:59Speaker 01

  It was called Not the Cosby's.

• 1:56:01Mark Normand?

  No!

• 1:56:02Speaker 01

  Originally, yeah.

• 1:56:02Mark Normand?

  Look at that. Wow, that's crazy.

• 1:56:05Speaker 01

  Well, it's crazy, because like, yeah, Seinfeld would not exist now. They would not, you know, that it has a name change of the Seinfeld Chronicles, and then, you know, Elaine's not even in the first episode.

• 1:56:16Mark Normand?

  True.

• 1:56:17Speaker 01

  That they would, yeah.

• 1:56:18Mark Normand?

  All white cast.

• 1:56:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. But the five, you know, um, episodes of a first season, they would just cancel it after that.

• 1:56:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, a hundred percent.

• 1:56:27Speaker 01

  It was in the summer, right? I think they just.

• 1:56:29Speaker 05

  But then it would get reborn on Tubi.

• 1:56:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:34Mark Normand?

  So there you go, and see, see Mike on Tubi, no, you got a special out there.

• 1:56:39Speaker 01

  I had, uh, Comedy Central years ago.

• 1:56:41Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:56:42Sam Morril?

  Well, check out Mike's podcast, Nerd of Mouth, and, uh, watch Mike Vecchione's new special on YouTube, uh,

• 1:56:49Speaker 05

  Low Income White.

• 1:56:50Sam Morril?

  Low Income White on Nate Land Entertainment, uh, two, two of our faves.

• 1:56:54Mark Normand?

  Clean as a whistle.

• 1:56:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, look at you.

• 1:56:57Mark Normand?

  Man, you look rugged and hunky.

• 1:56:58Sam Morril?

  Look at that, yeah.

• 1:57:00Speaker 05

  Good nights, Tempe, Des Moines, Hartford, and the Zany's Lab.

• 1:57:05Sam Morril?

  Nice.

• 1:57:06Speaker 05

  MikeVekian.com for dates, please follow me, Comic Mike V.

• 1:57:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:57:10Sam Morril?

  Definitely check that out, Mike is terrific.

• 1:57:13Mark Normand?

  One of the best.

• 1:57:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:14Speaker 05

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:57:15Mark Normand?

  What's the next?

• 1:57:16Speaker 01

  First saw you at Ochi's Lounge in Comics.

• 1:57:19Mark Normand?

  Whoa, there you go.

• 1:57:20Speaker 01

  And I was like, that's a comedian.

• 1:57:21Speaker 05

  Ah, thank you, buddy.

• 1:57:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:23Mark Normand?

  Remember, we get a nugget every now and then, and you're like, ooh, Hannibal's coming.

• 1:57:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, my God. This is crazy.

• 1:57:29Speaker 01

  My lady is harassing us with this.

• 1:57:31Mark Normand?

  Yes. Or one time, Maren came down, and he was like, look at all you said, pathetic people. And we loved it.

• 1:57:39Speaker 05

  Oh, God.

• 1:57:40Sam Morril?

  I'll be at, uh, I'll be at, uh, when does this come out?

• 1:57:44Sam Morril?

  Uh, Irvine Improv, and then we got Oklahoma City, then we got the Venetian in Vegas, Rochester, uh, the 22nd, the 25th, 25th through the 27th in Rochester, New York, Chicago Theater, Winnipeg, a big Euro tour in October, it should be up by now.

• 1:58:04Speaker 01

  You're gonna be one of those dads that farts on their kid, honey.

• 1:58:06Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 1:58:06Speaker 01

  But he has.

• 1:58:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, wait, he's gonna be.

• 1:58:08Speaker 01

  You're just gonna.

• 1:58:09Speaker 05

  His first words was, please, no.

• 1:58:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're just gonna raise you.

• 1:58:13Sam Morril?

  I'll be in Barcelona, uh, London, Paris, Amsterdam, fucking, uh, all over. I'm forgetting a bunch of Dublin, I'm all over, it's on my website, I'm coming to your place in Europe. Then we got, uh, Salt Lake City and the Biggie at Carnegie Hall, December 4th. Oh, Reno as well, I forgot, but yeah, December 4th, uh, New York, New York.

• 1:58:37Speaker 01

  And he will not be writing on a TV show and will have plenty of free time.

• 1:58:41Sam Morril?

  Did we get any news?

• 1:58:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:58:42Sam Morril?

  Me being impatient.

• 1:58:46Mark Normand?

  Hey, I'm in the Hamptons, in Calgary with Adam Ray, uh, Las Vegas, Dallas, hello.

• 1:58:53Mark Normand?

  And then, uh, good old Akron, Ohio, Dayton, then we're going to Halifax. I've never been there, I'm pretty excited. Ottawa, Huntsville, Hattiesburg, San Jose, Boulder, we added a show, and then we're off to Europe. Athens, Oslo, Stockholm, Helsinki, Dublin, and back to some casino and Valley Center. Off to Magoobies, Rochester, DC, Chocolate City, Rochester, Niagara Falls, San Diego. Come on out, say hello, get some Bodega Cat.

• 1:59:23Sam Morril?

  Bodega Cat Whiskey.com, and just, just, uh, DM the Bodega Cat Whiskey account on Instagram, Matt, our, our boy will, will get it in your liquor store. I, me stumbling in the beauty bar drunk might have gotten us in a beauty bar in New York, so...

• 1:59:35Mark Normand?

  Hey, there you go!

• 1:59:36Sam Morril?

  That's how it happens. Two guys were like, "Why don't they serve Bodega Cat here?" And I go, "Why don't you know, ask the owner right there?" And they did, and he goes, "You have a whiskey?" I think, I think we're in.

• 1:59:45Mark Normand?

  We gotta keep you drinking, just for business.

• 1:59:46Sam Morril?

  I'll, I'll keep stumbling in, dude.

• 1:59:48Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah, the stumble in. We should work there.

• 1:59:51Sam Morril?

  The stumble in.

• 1:59:52Speaker 01

  The walk-in, you know, smoothly.

• 1:59:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, folks, yeah, check out the special. Hire Mike to write for you, if you're Brad Pitt level. Are you doing the ESPYS?

• 2:00:03Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:00:04Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 2:00:05Speaker 01

  No, something about the way I look in sports, they just didn't put the two together.

• 2:00:09Sam Morril?

  All right, well, you guys are the best. Yeah, this is a fun one, and, uh, we'll see you guys next week.

• 2:00:15Speaker 08

  Sunday's the day for my next offender. A bit of Pivaretti, know the future's close. I've had a little too much bourbon and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope. And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way.

• 2:00:52Speaker 08

  We might be true.

• 2:01:01Speaker 09

  My name is Taylor. The economy is crushing moms like me right now.

• 2:01:04Mark Normand?

  High food costs and changes to nutrition programs constrain family budgets. Your donation can help nourish families. When budgets strain, your gift sustains. Give now at feedingamerica.org/communityresponse.