Ep 207: Colin Quinn - Tom Papa - Liz Furiati

The world was an different place just a few short weeks ago when this episode was recorded. The Yankees hadn't lost the world series yet, how quickly time moves forward. However, we are very happy to have Colin Quinn, Tom Papa and Liz Furiati join us for this weeks episode. Support the show and get a one-dollar-per-month trial period of Shopify at https://www.shopify.com/drunk Support the show and check out MyBookie. Use code DRUNK to get a 100% deposit bonus at https://bit.ly/betwithDRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Colin Quinn: https://colinquinn.com/ Tom Papa: https://tompapa.com/ Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/?hl=en #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  Cheers. Cheers. Good to see you.

• 0:08Mark Normand?

  Hey, Mazel. Comedy.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  Beautiful.

• 0:12Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 0:12Speaker 02

  Colin, we know your special's out too. You get it.

• 0:15Speaker 03

  I'm turning off my thing.

• 0:16Mark Normand?

  Jeez.

• 0:17Sam Morril?

  Are we rolling?

• 0:17Mark Normand?

  Diva. Oh yeah, we're all, we might be drunk.

• 0:19Speaker 00

  Colin wouldn't tell.

• 0:20Sam Morril?

  Hey.

• 0:20Speaker 03

  Well, I have two new specials out.

• 0:23Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, Tom, you got one?

• 0:24Speaker 00

  I have a special out too.

• 0:26Speaker 03

  You do, Tom? That's great.

• 0:28Mark Normand?

  Let me guess, they're both Netflix?

• 0:30Speaker 00

  You're both Netflix.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  Mine on YouTube.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  Oh, I thought they were both Netflix.

• 0:35Mark Normand?

  No, that was a zing.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  YouTube is good too.

• 0:37Sam Morril?

  And we have a Winnie replacement this week.

• 0:39Mark Normand?

  You can read all the comments.

• 0:40Sam Morril?

  Gizmo, she got Aunt Viv'd, which is upsetting, but you know. She'll be back. Winnie will be back.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  This is far superior.

• 0:47Speaker 00

  So adorable.

• 0:49Sam Morril?

  That's not fucking cool.

• 0:50Mark Normand?

  That's a girthy beast.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  Winnie's, I love Winnie. I spent a whole day with Winnie.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  You have a problem with Gizmo, Tom?

• 0:56Speaker 00

  No, Gizmo's cool because he stands.

• 1:02Sam Morril?

  Winnie's an old bird, dude.

• 1:03Speaker 00

  Winnie.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Gizmo is not young.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  Winnie just kinda hangs like an Afghan.

• 1:08Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:08Speaker 00

  Just like a throw blanket.

• 1:10Sam Morril?

  Martini okay?

• 1:11Speaker 03

  You mean Afghan?

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Delicious.

• 1:13Sam Morril?

  Thank you. They were criticizing the...

• 1:15Speaker 00

  This is a great martini. Good job.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  I'm so happy I'm having this.

• 1:18Mark Normand?

  Solid.

• 1:18Speaker 00

  Last time I was here, it was a train wreck.

• 1:21Sam Morril?

  That was a bad martini.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  That was the worst martini I've had in my life.

• 1:24Sam Morril?

  It was an oily, he made an, it was beer juice. He made an oily...

• 1:27Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:28Sam Morril?

  It was bad brine or something.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  Lizzy poured all of the oily juice from the luchy stuffed olive container.

• 1:36Mark Normand?

  It was a P Diddy.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  That's why I brought the filthy brine as well, because it's very nice and clean.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  Ah.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  And again, I know how diva you are.

• 1:45Speaker 00

  That is a real grown up elegant martini.

• 1:47Mark Normand?

  Very nice. Smooth.

• 1:49Speaker 00

  Nice job.

• 1:50Mark Normand?

  Ah, look at that mad weirdo on the left.

• 1:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, look at that chubby guy over there. Could've buttoned up down low.

• 1:56Mark Normand?

  Well, he's been fired since then.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  Cause of that little tall guy?

• 2:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Beer juice. I was like 6'7".

• 2:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:04Speaker 00

  He was really off his game. I don't know.

• 2:07Sam Morril?

  He was a good bartender.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  He's been fired, don't rub it in.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  What hap- yeah, what happened? Where are your bartenders?

• 2:11Sam Morril?

  Ah, we just...

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Budget cuts?

• 2:12Speaker 03

  They fired him.

• 2:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  It was Tom's fault. Tom does that.

• 2:16Speaker 00

  I do get people fired.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  He's done that at the Olive Tree too.

• 2:18Sam Morril?

  Who'd you get fired at the Olive Tree?

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, Tom.

• 2:20Mark Normand?

  What?

• 2:20Speaker 00

  Just people don't do their jobs.

• 2:22Mark Normand?

  Tom, whoa.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  Lizzy has a dark side.

• 2:24Mark Normand?

  Modi?

• 2:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Tom's a diva.

• 2:32Speaker 00

  No, once in a while, I'll just point out, like, is anyone working this table?

• 2:37Sam Morril?

  Alex Edelman.

• 2:41Mark Normand?

  You can only dream.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  And then you don't see them again. It's not like I'm asking for them to be fired. That's really up to the management.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Sure. It's like an efficiency expert from the early 60s.

• 2:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you're not full Karen. You'll just dance around Karen-ing.

• 2:57Sam Morril?

  Damn, we lost. See, Winnie does stay put. I'll give her that.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  He's too big for to lay on the couch.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  And he smells.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  All food. He just wants food.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  I'm not gambling now, but your $50, you can't name who Mark Norman is staring at in that picture.

• 3:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  I'll give you any one of five names. You have five choices.

• 3:13Mark Normand?

  You think you know?

• 3:15Speaker 03

  Do I think I know? Of course I do.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  I know.

• 3:17Mark Normand?

  You know that wall too well.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  I know that wall.

• 3:19Speaker 03

  I know that wall too well. All too well, Walter.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 3:22Mark Normand?

  I'm thinking Harry Spears.

• 3:26Mark Normand?

  I think he's on there, by the way.

• 3:27Sam Morril?

  No, he's not.

• 3:28Mark Normand?

  I believe he is.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  He might have one of the old.

• 3:30Speaker 00

  Is that Wanda Spite?

• 3:32Mark Normand?

  No, no, she's over by the door.

• 3:34Sam Morril?

  Is it Artie?

• 3:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Where's my $50?

• 3:36Speaker 00

  Artie?

• 3:37Sam Morril?

  Is it Artie Fuqua?

• 3:38Speaker 00

  Ah, Artie says yes.

• 3:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, there you go.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  I'll say it was Artie surrounded by Brian Regan.

• 3:46Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  No?

• 3:48Speaker 02

  I know it's the big Artie.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Kyle Donaghy.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  The lineup Artie, because it's the big Artie.

• 3:53Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  It's like the old Artie.

• 3:54Mark Normand?

  The young Artie.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Like, that's the, like, yeah, like, the.

• 3:57Mark Normand?

  Pre-crash.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 3:58Mark Normand?

  Pre-Walmart.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Like, it's cocaine dealer Artie.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 4:02Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  Before the cash.

• 4:04Mark Normand?

  I remember one time, a famous night at the cellar, Artie comes in, he's all banged up, and he goes, "I just got a fight with seven drag queens at McDonald's." Those days are over. Now you bought at McDonald's.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  No more Mickey D's.

• 4:16Sam Morril?

  Well, what a shame.

• 4:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:18Sam Morril?

  What a loss. We won't have drag queens to throw down with.

• 4:20Mark Normand?

  That was the wildest McDonald's in America.

• 4:22Sam Morril?

  That was the World Star McDonald's.

• 4:24Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:26Speaker 00

  No more, absorbed into the Comedy Cellar universe.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Ka, ka, ka.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  I shouted out my special.

• 4:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, you did.

• 4:33Sam Morril?

  I saw, it just came out today, so I saw the first 20 minutes on my walk over here. Hilarious as always. The election special, Colin Quinn.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Five months from his last special.

• 4:43Mark Normand?

  Unreal.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Bring it up, bring it up.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  Hopefully it's a record.

• 4:45Sam Morril?

  You had a line I love where you talk about how, you talk about these people, everyone has their opinion. They're like, well, who are you? You're up here giving your own opinion? You're a hypocrite. You're like, eh, you never met a hypocrite?

• 4:58Mark Normand?

  That's a great line. Hey, look at this.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, homeless doing a little magic there.

• 5:03Mark Normand?

  Throwback.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  A little homeless.

• 5:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  I love homeless pimp.

• 5:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  That's not him, that's.

• 5:08Speaker 00

  Look at that.

• 5:09Mark Normand?

  Another guy worked at McDonald's.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  Oh, he's running for president?

• 5:13Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  That's Eric Rivera.

• 5:15Mark Normand?

  Hello.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Whoa, look at RFK.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  So recent. Did you get footage at the MSG?

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Homeless did this.

• 5:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, this is great.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Were you at the Garden the other night?

• 5:25Mark Normand?

  He wrote for Tony.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Oh, Tony's show.

• 5:29Mark Normand?

  Stamps and T's.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Oh, it looks so good.

• 5:33Mark Normand?

  Wait, is that the lounge?

• 5:34Speaker 02

  It's the lounge.

• 5:35Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  Who shot it?

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Homeless pimp, pay attention, Tom.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  I'm sorry, Liz.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Get with it, Tom.

• 5:42Sam Morril?

  A much-needed voice, Colin.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  You're behind the, Tom, you're behind the curve. You're out there in LA.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Yep, Tom Papa, LA comic.

• 5:52Mark Normand?

  Boo.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, when he comes to the Cellar, he takes over the whole front section.

• 5:57Mark Normand?

  And gets people fired.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Well, he got people fired, that was years ago.

• 6:00Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  I don't think Tom has done that lately.

• 6:03Mark Normand?

  Well, they made the lounge look good, I mean.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  They're amazing.

• 6:06Mark Normand?

  Not you.

• 6:07Sam Morril?

  You're careful to shit on both sides, which is good, because that is.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  Well, let's not say I'm careful to, that's how I feel. I'm saying, I don't want, I don't want people to think I'm out there trying to straddle the fence.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Oh, the outside part.

• 6:20Sam Morril?

  You know what I mean, like, there's a lot of political.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  Because that's how I feel.

• 6:23Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  I hate when people say both sides are. It's like, yeah, because you want to be with machetes in the street, you motherfuckers. That's what a non-boldsider is.

• 6:31Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 6:33Mark Normand?

  Wait, what is this?

• 6:34Speaker 02

  We literally took the audience outside and took them on a tour of the village with CQ.

• 6:40Mark Normand?

  Wow, I'll be fast forwarding that.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Tour.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  No, it's good.

• 6:43Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Sam knew ahead of time, we were talking about it.

• 6:45Mark Normand?

  This looks like a COVID special.

• 6:47Speaker 00

  So you could shoot another special in five months if you do a lot of stuff like that.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Tom is getting lammed.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Really? Tom, really?

• 6:55Mark Normand?

  That's funny, that's my old apartment.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right. I actually lived there for a couple of years.

• 7:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah?

• 7:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:01Mark Normand?

  Uh, what's his favorite? What's the Jewish baseball player?

• 7:03Sam Morril?

  Sandy Koufax.

• 7:04Mark Normand?

  He lived there.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  He did?

• 7:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:07Sam Morril?

  My, uh, how sad is that, by the way? You said, who's the Jewish baseball player? And I got it that quickly. A race isn't exactly killing it in, uh...

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, you never heard of Ron Bloom- Boomer Bloomberg? He was a Yankee star in the 70s.

• 7:19Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 7:20Sam Morril?

  We had Sean Green, Hammer and Hank Greenberg. There's a few.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Hank Greenberg.

• 7:24Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 7:25Sam Morril?

  That's back when, that's back, that's pre-black and...

• 7:28Speaker 03

  What about Harmon Killaboo, the Mormon? What, I took her to the Minetta? No, we walked around, we just talked about, I talked about the World Star Hip-Hop McDonald's.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  We did.

• 7:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  I had a bunch of stor- a bunch of stories. It was kind of unrelated to the special.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  It was, but it was, you know, it was like the CQ man on the street, like block by block combined with election special.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  I like those Instagram videos you do when you have those old guys from the neighborhood.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  That's homeless.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Wow. Also, Tom, it's not Instagram videos, it's a series on YouTube.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Would you pay attention, please?

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, Tom. Get with it, Tom.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  I didn't realize Liz was in management.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  I was just calling Quinn.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Then you haven't been around in a long time.

• 8:05Sam Morril?

  Liz has always is, Liz has always is, is kind of management.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  I think Tom, and there goes that, that's the shrink. Did you guys go to him?

• 8:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, Alan.

• 8:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Big L.

• 8:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you interviewed Alan Lefkowitz, the comedian psychiatrist. I've seen him, I saw him for years.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  I was so, I was so tempted to ask him, but just, I couldn't do it. You know, he didn't want to give, he wouldn't give any advice. But I was so tempted to know everything.

• 8:27Sam Morril?

  Did you go to him?

• 8:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 8:30Mark Normand?

  What?

• 8:30Sam Morril?

  What's, what made you want to sit down with him?

• 8:32Mark Normand?

  He's good.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  Homeless pimp goes, "We should interview that guy." I go, "That's a great idea."

• 8:36Mark Normand?

  Jeez. You love homeless.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's great.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  Come on, we love homeless.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  No, I didn't go to him, but I, I wanted to interview-

• 8:43Sam Morril?

  I used to have a joke about going to him, how it sucked if so many comedians would be seeing him. So I'd be in the waiting room and I'd hear a laugh and I'd be like, "Fuck, I gotta bring it again this week."

• 8:53Sam Morril?

  But it was literally every comic would just come out of the door and be like, "Oh, you."

• 8:57Mark Normand?

  You pour your heart out about getting molested and you're like, "Oh, hey, Becky Owen."

• 9:06Sam Morril?

  It is amazing that it was a comedian's, it's like, I think his first was Richard Lewis.

• 9:10Mark Normand?

  That's what he said.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  That's what he said, yeah. There was an article about him in Esquire. About Alan, yeah.

• 9:17Mark Normand?

  Whoa, so he's chasing the fame now.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's unbelievable.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  It was a while ago.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  How about Tom Popper on Cop Show?

• 9:27Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, what year was that?

• 9:29Speaker 03

  That was an episode to really sink your teeth into.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  I think I really exposed Tom as the bossy pants that he is.

• 9:37Mark Normand?

  Well, you were ahead of the curve with the cop parody, cause, uh, Brooklyn Nine-Nine kinda ripped that from ya.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, don't bring it up, Tim Dickstney on the nine A.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  But that, Brooklyn Nine-Nine's not really a cop parody. There were versions, they tried, it failed, but Brooklyn Nine-Nine was more of like a, I don't know what you would call it.

• 9:55Mark Normand?

  It's like a sitcom, but in a comedy station.

• 9:57Sam Morril?

  It was more like a workplace comedy.

• 9:59Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  It was a cop.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was a cop parody.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Pre-stroke Keith.

• 10:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, pre-stroke Keith.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, look at that.

• 10:08Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Non-handicapped Keith.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Keith made, just, Tom just cock-blocked him in that scene, it was pretty funny.

• 10:17Speaker 00

  That was so great.

• 10:18Mark Normand?

  Great show, a lot of views.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  Great show.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Makes me furious.

• 10:28Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  So Tom, your special, did it come out yet?

• 10:31Speaker 00

  It came out today.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Whoa, what time?

• 10:34Speaker 00

  Uh, midnight.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Oh, so it's out? We can watch it?

• 10:38Mark Normand?

  When does this come out, though?

• 10:40Speaker 00

  Late November.

• 10:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Happy Thanksgiving.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  It's been around for a while.

• 10:44Mark Normand?

  Check it out.

• 10:45Speaker 00

  It's been around for a month.

• 10:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, sorry.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Where'd you shoot it, Jersey?

• 10:49Speaker 00

  I shot it in Washington DC.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 10:52Speaker 00

  At the Warner Theatre.

• 10:53Mark Normand?

  That's a good room.

• 10:54Sam Morril?

  It's a classic room.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, it looks nice. Anytime something wasn't funny, I just shot the ceiling.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  It's pretty, right?

• 11:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:00Mark Normand?

  And you're pretty clean, right?

• 11:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm pretty clean.

• 11:03Mark Normand?

  No curse?

• 11:04Speaker 02

  No, he does. He has like...

• 11:06Speaker 00

  That was what a day.

• 11:07Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't curse all that often, I guess.

• 11:12Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 11:13Sam Morril?

  But that's a conscious choice, though, right?

• 11:16Speaker 00

  Uh, I don't really talk like that in my real life, so like to do it in my act is kind of like phony. Like when I started The Cellar and like in the beginning and all these guys were so cool and I would go up there and like try and be a little dirty and stuff. And the audience is like, what are you doing?

• 11:31Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  What's the deal with fucking sponges, dude?

• 11:36Speaker 00

  They're like, what are you doing? This isn't, this isn't really you.

• 11:39Mark Normand?

  But I think you're going out with the Gaffigan Seinfeld Arena Tour.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  I am gonna go do some dates with them in, uh, Canada.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  What?

• 11:47Speaker 02

  I never heard about this. We didn't, Colin.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Woo!

• 11:50Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  This is big.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Phyllis and Tom.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Are they, are they stadium?

• 11:55Speaker 00

  Their stadium show.

• 11:56Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 11:57Speaker 02

  What?

• 11:58Mark Normand?

  Mama.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  What kind of stadiums?

• 12:00Speaker 00

  Like fifteen thousand?

• 12:01Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 12:02Speaker 03

  Whoa!

• 12:04Speaker 00

  Those guys can pack some meat.

• 12:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  You better slow down.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, three white clean killers.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  How much time do you have to do?

• 12:13Mark Normand?

  It's a good title.

• 12:14Speaker 00

  I don't know, twenty?

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Twenty? They're gonna tell you fifty.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  I know.

• 12:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you got that right.

• 12:19Speaker 00

  I'll do twenty.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  And then Tom will blow the light.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  I've never performed in a place like that.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  Just go up and go, they want me to get off. That's my favorite line. They want me to get off.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, they want me to go.

• 12:29Mark Normand?

  They want me to get off.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  And then another 10 minutes of Tom Pop.

• 12:33Speaker 00

  That's weird.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  Did you guys, did I get that? What?

• 12:36Mark Normand?

  And then the crowd goes, "No!" And they go, "I know, they're making me do it, these fucking assholes."

• 12:41Speaker 00

  Enjoy Jim, I guess.

• 12:44Mark Normand?

  I hate when they do that.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  My only dream, like even this gig with you're making, my only dream is to know how much everybody in comedy makes. Literally every penny. And how much every, in every commercial makes.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  That's what Maria Banfer does. She, she's a big advocate for us all sharing the financial information of what we do. So you don't get screwed. She's always.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  No, I don't want it to not get screwed, I just want to know what everyone makes.

• 13:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, that, well, her thing is more equitable. Her thing is so we don't get screwed.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  By who? Wait, screwed how?

• 13:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, she can compare.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Because she believes everyone is on the same plane of.

• 13:19Speaker 00

  No, but if you, but worried the same, and you.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  Are you though?

• 13:23Speaker 00

  Someone says, "I went to Act Me."

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Is everyone the same?

• 13:25Speaker 00

  "I went to Act Me and I made this for that."

• 13:27Mark Normand?

  You can compare.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  Yeah. She's the only one that does it, Liz. Nobody else is.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  No, I want to know.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  There's someone else that, yeah.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Like I see these commercials, like Will Ferrell in that commercial, like I'm like, "How much is he getting paid for that?"

• 13:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Is it, but saying, is it five million or is it 10 million? It's gotta be that, right?

• 13:43Mark Normand?

  It's gotta be 10.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  10?

• 13:44Mark Normand?

  They don't get out of bed for five.

• 13:46Sam Morril?

  When's the last time you saw Will Ferrell?

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Um, like eight years ago.

• 13:50Sam Morril?

  Was he mad when you did that thing on Twitter where you pretended he was a drug addict?

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Well, when I saw him eight years ago, he goes, "I really," I go, "Ah," like I thought he was joking about it. But he goes, "Yeah, I thought you were like pissed at me for some reason." I was like, "Why does everybody say, I didn't say he was a drug addict, I said he's a heroin dealer." And nobody got it. I said he's dealing heroin at SNL and people were like, "You snitch."

• 14:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's great.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  You think he's really dealing heroin at SNL?

• 14:17Sam Morril?

  You might have been the first person I followed who was like a troll, but, but you weren't trolling people, you were just trolling everybody.

• 14:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, all his fans.

• 14:24Sam Morril?

  When Colin started Twitter, it was just like overrated bands, the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, the Doors, the Who. You're just pissing people off.

• 14:31Speaker 00

  Do you still do that?

• 14:32Speaker 03

  And people, yeah, but people don't really get it, so I stopped. At the time, people would just be threatening me all the time, like, "I'm gonna kill you if I ever see you." And I would just say everything I said.

• 14:42Speaker 00

  It was the best. He said Star Wars is overrated. Let's get him.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  It was unbelievable.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  I don't know, guys.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  He thought I was, he thought I was mad.

• 14:53Sam Morril?

  And he was, was he pissed about it or no?

• 14:54Speaker 03

  No, he, no, he, Wolf was the nicest guy in the world. He was doing, he was just like, yeah, I thought you were mad at me for something you didn't like me.

• 15:00Mark Normand?

  That's a real comedian though, because he thought you were mad at him. I feel like that's what comedians do. Like, oh, I must have fucked this up somehow.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:07Mark Normand?

  Even though he's trashing me.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  Oh, brutal.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  I think we all felt like saying, he was, he's not a comedian, Mark.

• 15:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, I guess.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Of all people, Mark.

• 15:15Mark Normand?

  Well, he's not a stand-up comedian.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  He's not a stand-up.

• 15:17Mark Normand?

  He's a comedian.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Mark, you of all people are saying.

• 15:20Mark Normand?

  I'm not saying he's a stand-up.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  I think he shocked the whole room.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Everybody's stunned by that.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  He's a comedian, a different kind of comedian.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  He's hilarious. He's not a comedian.

• 15:28Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  He's a comic actor.

• 15:30Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  Right.

• 15:33Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 15:33Sam Morril?

  Wait, he's not a comedian? He's a, I mean, stand-up comedian.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Don't you think comedian means stand-up comedian?

• 15:38Mark Normand?

  I do.

• 15:38Speaker 00

  I think so too.

• 15:39Mark Normand?

  But I know what you mean. Comic. It definitely means comedian, comic.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  So does a comedian. Both means comedian.

• 15:46Speaker 00

  Long and short, comedian.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  Oh, for Christ's sake, huh?

• 15:49Speaker 00

  That's what they say. That's what they say.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Why you muttering the waters?

• 15:52Speaker 00

  It's true.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Don't you, whenever you get interviewed and somebody goes, so do you like other comedians? And you name somebody who's not a stand-up? Don't you go like, well, he's not really a stand-up. And you get a little attitude. I do.

• 16:01Mark Normand?

  I do that too. It's harder.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  But you just did it to us.

• 16:05Mark Normand?

  I guess you're right.

• 16:09Mark Normand?

  What's that old story? Greg Kinnear tried stand-up.

• 16:11Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 16:12Mark Normand?

  Failed, became an actor, won an Oscar.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah?

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Wait, you want, what did he win an Oscar for?

• 16:17Mark Normand?

  As good as it gets.

• 16:18Speaker 00

  Michael Keaton was a stand-up?

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Michael Keaton? No, but Michael Keaton was a stand-up. He was on Letterman.

• 16:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Doing a bit. It was funny.

• 16:24Mark Normand?

  But he still quit.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  He had a bazooka joke.

• 16:26Sam Morril?

  He quit because he was playing Batman.

• 16:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, got to go do cooler stuff.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  He gave up.

• 16:32Mark Normand?

  He gave up.

• 16:33Sam Morril?

  He's acting like some Jack Nicholson like this pussy.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  I want to do a 10 15 at the Comedy Store.

• 16:40Mark Normand?

  You're supposed to need comedy. That's the whole thing. You need to do it. Like Letterman. Where's Letterman's act? Ah, you fake?

• 16:48Speaker 03

  Letterman was the original crud work.

• 16:49Speaker 00

  Colin, you're one of the only people that's gotten the distance.

• 16:52Mark Normand?

  Yes, we're all begging you to quit.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Here it is, the bazooka bit.

• 16:56Mark Normand?

  Bazooka bit. Look at the hair.

• 16:59Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 17:01Sam Morril?

  Was he a good stand-up, Colin?

• 17:02Speaker 03

  I think I remember him being funny. We're about to find out.

• 17:05Sam Morril?

  People said he was.

• 17:06Speaker 05

  You just don't do this. You just don't put Bazooka Joe in your mouth and throw the thing away. No one in the world does it. You know, he go, "A wax? Yeah, I say. We send him. Just a minute here."

• 17:16Mark Normand?

  He's funny.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  That is funny.

• 17:17Speaker 05

  You can't put it down. Here it is.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  You said you can't roll over that way.

• 17:21Speaker 05

  You might not laugh, but I think this is very funny. He says Bazooka Joe has a clock in his hand, you know? And Tubby says, "What are you doing Bazooka Joe?" And he says, "I'm throwing a clock out the window." And he says, "Why?" Bazooka Joe says, "I wanted to see time fly."

• 17:36Speaker 05

  Alright, I went, I went. Tubby says to him, "Time Bazooka Joe? It's rather a theoretical subject, isn't it?"

• 17:47Mark Normand?

  Breaking it down.

• 17:49Speaker 05

  And Bazooka Joe says, "Well, it depends on how one views time." I mean, if you see time traveling in a horizontal line to infinity, well then, yes, I guess it is. But outside that, we'll see it broken up in segments. And Tubby comes back with, "I think some pretty clever." Tubby comes back and says, "Yes, who wasn't Eugene O'Neill who said, "I am I am the tomahawk, sick of the madding crowd, longing for far sea places where the soul may think aloud." And then Bazooka Joe looks at him and goes, "Hey, sorry, I [BLEEP] man, okay?"

• 18:20Mark Normand?

  Yay.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Sounds like a norm bit.

• 18:23Mark Normand?

  Yes, very norm.

• 18:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you see, these guys quit. Woody Allen quit. I mean, some guys just, they don't want to do it.

• 18:29Speaker 00

  I know. They move on to other stuff. Is that because the respect and the adulation and the money is all far greater?

• 18:35Sam Morril?

  Probably.

• 18:36Mark Normand?

  That and writing jokes is hard. You got to bomb. You got to go and work it out.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  But Monday nights, why didn't Woody Allen put down his client and go, "I'm gonna do a quick 15 guy."

• 18:43Mark Normand?

  Ah, he did the clarinet.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, the crowd every damn, yeah.

• 18:47Mark Normand?

  It's a good point.

• 18:48Speaker 00

  Steve Martin started weaving jokes into his banjo stuff.

• 18:50Mark Normand?

  Hey, good to have you back after 40 years, you white-haired weirdo.

• 18:56Sam Morril?

  It's so much easier to get a laugh in between songs, so they're just glad he's not playing the fucking banjo. They're like, thank God.

• 19:03Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 19:04Speaker 00

  He's talking.

• 19:05Mark Normand?

  By the way, you know, it's a piece. He's wearing Steve Martin.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Really?

• 19:09Mark Normand?

  That's the genius of his hairpiece.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  What about him?

• 19:11Mark Normand?

  The piece is thinning. So you never question it.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 19:16Mark Normand?

  Like Tom's.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  We've never questioned that, yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 19:22Mark Normand?

  The piece is thinning.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  What the hell? That's brilliant.

• 19:26Mark Normand?

  Brilliant. He's still brilliant after all these years.

• 19:28Sam Morril?

  Did Steve Martin come through SNL when you were there, Colin?

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, once or twice. He was a very nice guy. He was nice to everybody. He was like one of those guys who just, you know, like...

• 19:38Speaker 00

  Was he as wild and crazy as they say?

• 19:41Speaker 03

  No, he was friends at law, so he hung out there, but he was really, you know, he was very, um, what do you say, generous? Look how badass he looked in that picture.

• 19:49Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 19:50Sam Morril?

  What's that movie with Michael Caine? Dirty Runnin' Scars?

• 19:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love that movie. So good. The fork with the cork on it, so he couldn't stab himself.

• 19:59Speaker 00

  So if you had the opportunity, Sammy, to go do a movie and ditch stand-up for a year?

• 20:05Sam Morril?

  I can't ditch stand-up. It's like the only thing I'm fucking good at. I, like, you know, and some people would argue that as well.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  I do.

• 20:12Sam Morril?

  But, you know, uh, but Mark and I, we wrote a movie. We want to make a movie. We want to do other stuff, but, you know.

• 20:18Speaker 00

  Stavros really has us all thinking we can do it now.

• 20:21Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 20:21Sam Morril?

  Stav is, uh, yeah, I mean...

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Guy just shows up and goes make some movie? Wait, what?

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Who's seen it?

• 20:27Mark Normand?

  No one.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  It's only in theaters.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  I know. I, I've only met one person that's seen it. I just want to know. I mean, I know it just premiered.

• 20:34Sam Morril?

  If I was in town for the premiere, I would've gone.

• 20:34Mark Normand?

  I would like to watch it.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  I just want to know. I want to see it, yeah.

• 20:37Sam Morril?

  I want to see it. I love Stavvy, but, uh...

• 20:38Speaker 02

  And I'd like to say, Stavros, you didn't invite me to the premiere.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  Whoa, Stavros.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  But you invited Robert Kelly and his wife.

• 20:45Sam Morril?

  Oh, he's in the movie.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  What?

• 20:46Speaker 02

  I don't care.

• 20:47Sam Morril?

  He's in the movie.

• 20:48Mark Normand?

  Ouch, ouch.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  I just want to see it.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  I think I'm in the movie.

• 20:52Sam Morril?

  Mark and I wrote something that we're like, you know, we're trying to make, but it's like, stand up is the only thing like, especially, it's so long to take a fucking, to make a show or a movie.

• 21:02Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 21:02Sam Morril?

  It takes four years to just to go through the, through the filter of just like, oh, we're not gonna make it. So, why would we not just do stand up? We have some.

• 21:09Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  Here's the weird thing, ready? I'm glad you said because, two things. What the hell are we looking at, Tom?

• 21:15Speaker 02

  The cast of Stavi's movie.

• 21:17Sam Morril?

  Oh, Nathan Minson, I love him. I know, he's an open mic'er with me.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  I'm gonna forget what I was gonna say.

• 21:22Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  Wait.

• 21:23Speaker 02

  We were talking about how long it takes to make.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  So here's what it is, ready? Why does it take a year or two years for the movie to come out? You do an hour TV show, it comes out that week.

• 21:33Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  They're not that much better. An episode of The Sopranos is not that much different than a movie.

• 21:39Mark Normand?

  Great point.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  And, why is it that Netflix, Tom? I don't mean to interrupt.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  They're like, we're gonna release the special, October 11th. And it's like, what do you have, a strategy?

• 21:52Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 21:54Mark Normand?

  Well, and they don't promote either. Netflix doesn't, so they can't use that excuse, hey, we wanna promote.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Even better.

• 21:59Mark Normand?

  You know, they have.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  Good point.

• 22:00Mark Normand?

  Well, they have a.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  Chris, Netflix with Tom.

• 22:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  They can what?

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  They don't promote. They're not gonna sit there and go, we gotta put 20 million dollars into Tom's special and really billboard the shit out of it.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  You all forget, Tom is.

• 22:12Sam Morril?

  You did get the billboard.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Tom is the face of Netflix. He has a show on Netflix Radio. He has numerous specials on Netflix.

• 22:19Mark Normand?

  Okay, you're different.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Netflix is a joke. He like, pretty much hosted the whole damn festival.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  Like, Tom is the Netflix, you know, poster boy.

• 22:28Mark Normand?

  Chill.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  So, you know.

• 22:30Mark Normand?

  I believe is the word.

• 22:30Speaker 00

  I'm, yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 22:32Speaker 00

  Netflix is my film career.

• 22:34Mark Normand?

  Okay. But, but I, I, I see your point, Colin.

• 22:37Sam Morril?

  It shouldn't take this fucking long, but I'll tell you why it takes this long. Cause these people take three weeks to get back, like, we gotta set a meeting.

• 22:44Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  It's unbelievable.

• 22:45Speaker 00

  Just the lawyers, just for the contract before you get started.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  This whole time we've been living a life with these movie things.

• 22:52Mark Normand?

  Well, they want to have a job, these people.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  But how can it, TV, well, TV shows, they have a job, but it's an hour, and it takes a week.

• 22:58Mark Normand?

  I agree, but they have a building in West Hollywood with the words Netflix on it, they gotta employ these people.

• 23:05Sam Morril?

  And they always have to say, we don't know if this joke's gonna fly. Cool, I tried it in every state of the country, and it worked everywhere. I think it's gonna work.

• 23:11Speaker 00

  They've talked about your material?

• 23:13Sam Morril?

  No, I'm talking about like, like scripts.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  In general.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  Oh, scripts.

• 23:16Speaker 03

  Not just Netflix. We're done crashing Netflix, get more.

• 23:19Mark Normand?

  No, no. I'm doing the whole, uh, the whole gamut, Hulu, NBC, you name it.

• 23:26Speaker 00

  Well, this is a great opportunity, though, right, for independent filmmakers, like, now that, now that the whole film industry has collapsed.

• 23:33Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 23:34Speaker 00

  You can just go make it yourself.

• 23:36Speaker 03

  Leave that positivity somewhere else, Tom.

• 23:40Speaker 03

  Once you land at JFK, we don't want to hear that.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you're right, it is true that there's, uh, you know, if you can get the money.

• 23:50Mark Normand?

  Too many meetings.

• 23:51Speaker 00

  How do you get the money? I never understand that part.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  Some people understand that, and some don't.

• 23:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, I gotta go get five million dollars to make this movie.

• 23:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're working on it.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  What's your first move?

• 24:00Sam Morril?

  That's literally our, we're figuring it out right now, we don't know.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  How, what, how do you do it?

• 24:03Sam Morril?

  You get a producer who's good at, who knows people, hopefully.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a lot of shit.

• 24:07Speaker 00

  They call people who have made films before?

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Or who have money on your friends, and, yeah.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll tell you the biggest problem is when you sit down with these business Wall Street types, you have to watch out Sam, because his contempt will be written all over his face for them. You're gonna have to do most of the talking.

• 24:21Mark Normand?

  Okay, I can do that.

• 24:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, he's a sicko, he, oh, yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  He's a bitch. Sam's a straight fucking bitch.

• 24:32Mark Normand?

  You're more combative, you can be combative, I don't know.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, you can.

• 24:37Speaker 00

  It's a story about two guys.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  He'll be like, what did you just say? What did you like?

• 24:41Speaker 00

  Who the hell is this guy?

• 24:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:44Sam Morril?

  The good news is we found a Saudi prince. The bad news is all the jokes are out. We're making the show.

• 24:51Mark Normand?

  I'd kill for a Saudi prince to back this thing. That would be great.

• 24:54Speaker 00

  That what you need?

• 24:55Mark Normand?

  Nah, five million. We can knock it all out.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  I need easy five.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's the thing. All this money, somebody's got it. Somebody else had to get it.

• 25:01Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, I'm calling gnome.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Call him.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  I tell you, I'm gonna call Wilt Silvence. He knows every rich person.

• 25:09Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's true.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  But he can't get money for Maurice, so I guess it's.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  Oh no.

• 25:14Sam Morril?

  But they're not gonna shoot this. He's gonna be 67. He's not gonna be able to box anymore.

• 25:18Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  He'll be the trainer.

• 25:21Mark Normand?

  Good for him for making something.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Has he though?

• 25:24Speaker 03

  No, he didn't.

• 25:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, I thought it was out.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  He made a sizzle.

• 25:27Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 25:28Sam Morril?

  Didn't we all just give money to a GoFundMe to make a movie?

• 25:31Speaker 02

  It's the world's best Ponzi scheme.

• 25:34Mark Normand?

  I've been texting him. Great movie. I loved it. I watched the whole thing.

• 25:37Sam Morril?

  I am Maurice.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  It's I am Maurice dot com. I know it because he has t-shirts that say it. Yeah.

• 25:44Mark Normand?

  I got a shirt.

• 25:45Sam Morril?

  I've worn the shirt.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  I have too. This was.

• 25:48Speaker 00

  Brian Kennedy.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  10 years ago.

• 25:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, Brian Kennedy. I forgot about that guy.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Said that with such fucking disdain.

• 25:54Mark Normand?

  No, no, I just thought he.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  I remember him, yeah.

• 25:58Mark Normand?

  Wow. Okay.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is, it has to be like 10 years ago.

• 26:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, this is lovely.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  It was artistic.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Well, it was ripped.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  He did it.

• 26:09Sam Morril?

  He's in his 50s. He can't keep this up forever.

• 26:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:13Speaker 00

  He looks good.

• 26:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Thief.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Shoplifter.

• 26:17Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 26:18Speaker 00

  He's got soap?

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  From a bodega.

• 26:20Mark Normand?

  This looks like a video to get rid of the migrants.

• 26:26Mark Normand?

  We gotta stop them. They're cleaning themselves in the bathrooms.

• 26:30Sam Morril?

  Vote Trump 2020.

• 26:33Mark Normand?

  Where do I get the cats?

• 26:35Sam Morril?

  I don't think a trainer's taking that. I think he's like, you gotta come back and give me a.

• 26:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, what do I, like, call star?

• 26:40Speaker 00

  This kid. Ding ding.

• 26:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Did Will ever tell you the story about his audition for De Niro?

• 26:50Mark Normand?

  Let's hear it.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  No.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Oh my God, it's the funniest story ever.

• 26:55Sam Morril?

  What happened?

• 26:55Mark Normand?

  Big buildup.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  He be, it really, it's that funny.

• 26:59Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  He goes up, I don't know, we'll ruin it.

• 27:03Speaker 00

  I did, I just learned that the moth joke that Norm told on Conan was you told him that joke.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, it wasn't my joke, it was a joke joke.

• 27:10Mark Normand?

  What? Oh wow.

• 27:11Speaker 00

  That great, you know.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, he goes, I need a joke. And I go, I'll do this, I told them all joke, but I told them they short.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  It's really short.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  The version I told him is really short. Then he goes on Conan and he's like, eh, he's making like Russian literature reference.

• 27:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, how much time do you need? They said, we got six minutes. He's like, so he took Colin's joke and expanded it to six minutes long.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:38Speaker 00

  So cold in here that you.

• 27:39Sam Morril?

  What happened with Will though in De Niro?

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Oh, was, um, I hate to ruin the story, but he tells it, but I mean, but he goes to audition for Bronx Tale.

• 27:48Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  Bronx Tale. He just got to town, he's like nineteen or whatever. Not just got to town, but his first like, he just showbiz. And then he goes in the audition and I don't know how he got in, but his friend tells him, you know, when you can cry on camera, people, they want to hide you. So the first audition, he goes in and the guy gets beat up on camera, he goes, that's him. That's the one he starts crying. So they go, great. He passes every whatever. It's him and the guy that got it in the finalists. And then he goes, the audition, he goes, so he goes, I don't know any of these people. I don't know if Chaz Polinter is not famous yet. He's in there, they go, the director's coming too. De Niro shows up. So he's sitting there with De Niro, who he knows who that is, and Chaz. And they go, we love your tape, do it. And he goes,

• 28:31Speaker 03

  that's him, that's the one, that was great. De Niro goes, that was great. Just do it this time, but don't, you know, don't cry. He goes, okay. And he goes, that's him.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  De Niro goes, we love you, you're great. He goes, but this guy, let's make him this time, just try it where he's like kind of a gangster.

• 28:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  Hard. He doesn't want to cry.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  That's him.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  He said he did it like four times in a row and every time he just kept crying because it was stuck in his stupid head.

• 29:01Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 29:03Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 29:04Mark Normand?

  So, so Will.

• 29:06Speaker 00

  God damn, I wonder if Chaz remembers this. You had him on here, I want to have him back on.

• 29:11Mark Normand?

  With Will.

• 29:12Speaker 00

  With Will. Fork in the room. Will just starts crying when he shows up.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  No one!

• 29:18Speaker 03

  That's the fucking guy! That's what kept me out of... By the way, did you ever see, uh, the opening Anthony with, uh, Chaz and Voss?

• 29:25Sam Morril?

  No!

• 29:26Mark Normand?

  Pull it up!

• 29:27Speaker 03

  One of the greatest things ever!

• 29:28Sam Morril?

  What happened?

• 29:29Speaker 03

  They tricked Voss, they said, "We want to do a Bronx..." They knew Chaz was in there. And they brought Voss in, but they didn't know, he didn't know Chaz was coming in. So they go, "Voss, we want to do a scene," because Voss is like, "I'm a great actor." What happened? Playing, he's playing Lil' Pagano, and they have Chaz reading it. And he just watched Voss's shame spiral while he's reading the script with Chaz. He did a Bronx Tale scene with Chaz.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Oh my god!

• 29:54Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Oh, please, please.

• 29:56Mark Normand?

  That's brilliant. That's Patricey looking.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  He's saying, "Look at Voss, he didn't know."

• 30:01Sam Morril?

  This is incredible.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Oh my god!

• 30:06Sam Morril?

  I fucking love him.

• 30:09Mark Normand?

  He's shaking.

• 30:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, Patrice.

• 30:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 30:15Speaker 06

  Louis, Beans, I want my money!

• 30:19Speaker 06

  You can't dodge me forever.

• 30:21Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 30:22Speaker 06

  See, come on, what are you yelling about, huh? John, I got a problem with this guy over here.

• 30:30Speaker 06

  And it's been two weeks now.

• 30:31Mark Normand?

  You know he really thought this was gonna be something.

• 30:39Sam Morril?

  What's he supposed to do in this situation?

• 30:40Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 30:44Sam Morril?

  He can't help it.

• 30:45Mark Normand?

  Chaz gets it.

• 30:47Speaker 06

  Louis, Beans, I want my money!

• 30:51Speaker 06

  You can't dodge me forever. Come on, what are you yelling about, huh? John, I got a problem with this guy over here. Louis Beans? This guy owes me twenty. And it's been two weeks now, and every time he's dodging it. Should I crack him one or what? Come on, let's see.

• 31:10Speaker 06

  Sometimes violence is not the answer, kid. Is he gonna go for any of it? Okay, I don't even like this guy. Well, that's your answer, right?

• 31:16Sam Morril?

  That was good.

• 31:17Speaker 06

  Hey, look at it this way, 'cause you owe me twenty dollars to get rid of him, right? He's never gonna ask you for money again. He's never gonna bother you again, right? He's out of your life for twenty dollars, so forget about him. No, you're right, John.

• 31:30Mark Normand?

  Imagine doing that in front of Patrice?

• 31:32Speaker 02

  It's emotional.

• 31:33Mark Normand?

  That'd be brutal.

• 31:34Sam Morril?

  In Chaz's pulmonary.

• 31:42Speaker 00

  Now when I re-watch Bronx Tale, I'm gonna be thinking of this dog.

• 31:45Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Oh, god.

• 31:49Mark Normand?

  Is that Bobby?

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Is that fat Bobby?

• 31:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:54Speaker 06

  Chaz is delivering these lines, like, perfectly. I understand, you've done this, you wrote this, but that's watching the consummate actor.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  He's lying.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 32:27Mark Normand?

  This is a nightmare.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  Direction from Patrice.

• 32:39Mark Normand?

  It's the same hand movement.

• 32:40Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 32:44Speaker 00

  It's like, well, he can't break out of it.

• 32:46Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 32:56Speaker 05

  He's never gonna ask you for money again. He's never gonna bother you again.

• 32:59Speaker 00

  You can take the guy out of Jersey.

• 33:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:25Mark Normand?

  Was he in Cop Show?

• 33:31Sam Morril?

  I love him.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 33:34Sam Morril?

  I mean,

• 33:36Sam Morril?

  I love that Chaz gets it too.

• 33:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:39Sam Morril?

  Dude, he's-

• 33:40Speaker 00

  He's like, "I know this guy's..."

• 33:43Sam Morril?

  We, by the way, we usually watch like 30 seconds of a clip. The fact that we made it all the way through this-

• 33:47Speaker 02

  No, this is, this is good. This is really good.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  Because you also can see yourself in the footage.

• 33:51Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  You're sounding like that.

• 33:53Mark Normand?

  Well, that's the beauty of us.

• 33:55Sam Morril?

  Let me get it straight. We're no better than us.

• 33:58Speaker 00

  How many times are you like, just pushing a little too much?

• 34:01Mark Normand?

  Yes, we all have a little Voss in us. That's why he's so likeable.

• 34:04Sam Morril?

  I love Voss.

• 34:06Mark Normand?

  Everyone has a Jewish crackhead inside them.

• 34:09Sam Morril?

  Hey, Quinn and I have talked about this. That Bullets Over Broadway is like the funniest-

• 34:13Speaker 03

  So funny.

• 34:14Sam Morril?

  That's like probably my favorite Woody Allen comedy, man.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Great movie.

• 34:18Mark Normand?

  Hey, We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Shopify. The holidays are coming up and business needs the number one checkout on the planet. Make the switch to Shopify and watch your sales skyrocket. Boost your conversions up to 50% with Shopify's Shop Pay. That lets customers pay in interest-free installments and tracks, packages, shipments in real time. It's an easy-to-use platform that's used by tons of businesses you know and love like Jim Shark, Road, Chamberlain Coffee, just to name a few. When it comes to your livelihood, you want a checkout you know you can trust. Whether online or in-store, sell way more with Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Jim Shark uses.

• 35:02Mark Normand?

  Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/Drunk, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com/Drunk to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/Drunk. Get on it! Hey, hey, folks. We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by MyBookie. Whether you're a first-time better or a seasoned pro, you can bet with confidence with MyBookie. With promos like weekly risk-free boosts, you've got nothing to lose. Bet on football, baseball, soccer, horse racing, or play a bunch of fun casino games. Whatever you're into, MyBookie's got you covered. I love it. I love how you can bet on weird stuff. Let's see the ponies. Let's make some cash on that. MyBookie's the best, and it's easy to use, and I'm an idiot.

• 35:47Mark Normand?

  So if I can figure it out, you can figure it out. Get ready to make Thanksgiving a lot more interesting. Take a chance, throw down some bets, and make it a great night with MyBookie. When you're ready to get started, just click the link in the show notes, sign up, and you're ready to bet. Use promo code DRUNK to double your bankroll with a 100% deposit bonus right away. You heard that right, folks. 100% deposit bonus, up to 1,000 clams with code DRUNK before you even place a bet. If you've been betting with MyBookie already, it's time to check out MyBookie Plus, their new loyalty program, rewards program, that can help you earn extra cash just for doing what you do. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere with MyBookie.

• 36:31Mark Normand?

  This show was really, really something back in the day.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  That's right, Sean.

• 36:34Mark Normand?

  It was really a funny show.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:36Mark Normand?

  I mean, there's some great moments from that show, like iconic.

• 36:39Speaker 00

  Powerful.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  It was really fun just to walk in there and just felt like you were hanging out, you know?

• 36:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Now Norton's really trying to keep it alive.

• 36:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:51Mark Normand?

  And we keep not answering that text.

• 36:54Mark Normand?

  It's so early. Hey, damn.

• 36:58Speaker 00

  That's really...

• 36:59Sam Morril?

  I still go in.

• 36:59Speaker 03

  I still go in, and you too.

• 37:01Mark Normand?

  I still go in.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  You will, obviously.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  I'm going in Monday.

• 37:06Mark Normand?

  I love Jim.

• 37:07Sam Morril?

  I love Jim.

• 37:08Mark Normand?

  The other guy.

• 37:11Mark Normand?

  Nah, I'm kidding. I love Robert.

• 37:12Speaker 00

  Cold for the other guy.

• 37:15Mark Normand?

  Good people.

• 37:15Speaker 00

  Oh, that is hard. That is... Oh, that's humiliating to do that with Patrice looking at you two. It's just brutal.

• 37:21Mark Normand?

  Forget about it.

• 37:22Sam Morril?

  Do you have good memories of Patrice or no?

• 37:25Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah. I mean, he was... I was scared of Patrice. He was so, uh... He was so powerful.

• 37:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:32Speaker 00

  And I would try and like call him out. Like, when he'd come at me, I'd try and call him out, like, kind of legit, to just stop the beating.

• 37:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 00

  And he was like... He didn't want any part of that. He just wanted to kind of rip you apart and keep going.

• 37:47Sam Morril?

  There's a picture of you in the fat black. I think it's you, Voss, and Patrice.

• 37:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:51Mark Normand?

  You know that one?

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:52Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 37:54Mark Normand?

  You're no movie slouch. I mean, you're in, uh, what is it? The informant?

• 37:58Speaker 00

  Uh, well, I, you know, I didn't want to say.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  Oh, let's not bring up his stupid Soderbergh.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  I was gonna say his best friend, Steven Soderbergh, right? Is that what it is, Colin? L.A. Tom.

• 38:08Speaker 00

  During the story, I didn't want to say that I was in an audition with De Niro and got.

• 38:13Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 38:17Mark Normand?

  Hold up.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  L.A.!

• 38:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was me and Harold Ramis. It wasn't a big deal. Guys, this is just people along your path.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Tommy Pops, ladies and gentlemen.

• 38:32Mark Normand?

  Liz, let's hear about the, uh, two girls, one cup.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  That's my favorite.

• 38:37Mark Normand?

  Well, you were analyzing this?

• 38:38Speaker 00

  That.

• 38:38Mark Normand?

  That. Got it.

• 38:40Speaker 00

  The not as good one.

• 38:42Mark Normand?

  Well, it's a moment.

• 38:44Sam Morril?

  How was the experience with De Niro?

• 38:46Speaker 00

  De Niro was, was, uh, the coolest. When I went into Reed, it was with, uh, it was with Harold Ramis and they said, you're gonna read with Bobby? And I came in and I thought it was gonna be like a kid.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  And it was, uh, it was De Niro.

• 39:02Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  Was he like the nicest person you ever met?

• 39:05Speaker 00

  No.

• 39:06Sam Morril?

  Patrice is in the corner. He's like, come on.

• 39:08Speaker 00

  I just hear a cackle from behind the cubicle.

• 39:11Speaker 02

  He was so nice. Like, I've, I like fell in love with him more when I met him.

• 39:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:17Sam Morril?

  De Niro?

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. He was like, Liz, it's, ah, and just hugged me. I'm like, I don't know you. He was, and then I'm like, I'm Guinea, he's Guinea.

• 39:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:28Sam Morril?

  He was so cool to everyone at the Cellar, right?

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was so awesome. It was great. Movie was crap, but he was amazing.

• 39:34Speaker 00

  I never saw that movie.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  Don't.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  Really?

• 39:37Sam Morril?

  I heard my headshots in it. Someone's like, yeah, they use your headshot in Governors there or something.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:42Mark Normand?

  That's a credit.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  I will, like Norton.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  Are you in the new Joker?

• 39:45Sam Morril?

  No, I'm not in it.

• 39:47Mark Normand?

  Dodge that bullet.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  I think you meant that as a shot.

• 39:54Speaker 00

  I didn't, I didn't.

• 39:55Sam Morril?

  I was texting him like, Todd, I can sing, come on.

• 39:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was tough.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:02Mark Normand?

  The new, uh, Tim Dillon won't stop shitting on it. You're like, dude, they put you in the movie.

• 40:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, he's going hard.

• 40:09Sam Morril?

  I haven't seen it. Apparently Tarantino liked it.

• 40:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, he loved it. He said, fuck you to everybody.

• 40:15Speaker 00

  Really?

• 40:15Speaker 03

  He said that was his way to say fuck you to the industry.

• 40:18Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 40:18Speaker 00

  Why?

• 40:20Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 40:20Mark Normand?

  Cause they've lost him a lot of money?

• 40:21Speaker 03

  I just saw the headline.

• 40:25Mark Normand?

  Thirty-two percent.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  Nobody, nobody likes it.

• 40:29Speaker 03

  Forty-two percent's not bad.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  It's not so bad.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  Oh, thirty-two.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  Thirty-two.

• 40:33Mark Normand?

  No one wants a musical.

• 40:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's the problem.

• 40:36Mark Normand?

  Especially the Joker people. Like, I get La La Land, all right, but the Joker incel fan group is not like, oh, Lady Gaga.

• 40:43Speaker 00

  Then again, look who the fuck, who the fuck knows what Todd Phillips what people want? He's like,

• 40:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:47Sam Morril?

  He made the Joker the Hangover, like.

• 40:49Mark Normand?

  I'm a fan.

• 40:50Sam Morril?

  He knows how to make a fucking hit.

• 40:52Mark Normand?

  It was just an odd choice. He took a big swing and, you know, it happens.

• 40:56Speaker 00

  Right.

• 40:57Mark Normand?

  Oof.

• 40:58Speaker 00

  Ouch.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Wah wah.

• 40:59Mark Normand?

  Now Jerry can talk about unfrosted without feeling as bad.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Were you in that, Tom? You weren't, right? You weren't?

• 41:07Mark Normand?

  Uh, we both got snubbed.

• 41:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, we both got snubbed off of, off of the, off of the unfrosted.

• 41:12Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  That's, that was a good one to be snubbed on.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  Ninety percent.

• 41:18Mark Normand?

  Damn. Well, he'll be back. Maybe they'll leave him alone now. Maybe he'll just be able to make whatever he wants to make. Todd Phillips.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Right.

• 41:26Sam Morril?

  I'm also kinda just like, I, I think Todd's great and stuff, but I'm kinda done with, how mu, does everything have to be DC or fucking Marvel? You can't just tell a story like, look, I watched a couple of episodes of Penguin and it's a good show, but it's also like, you couldn't have just told this story.

• 41:39Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 41:40Speaker 00

  Right.

• 41:41Mark Normand?

  They need that IP. They're all cowards over there.

• 41:43Sam Morril?

  They're fucking pussies.

• 41:44Mark Normand?

  They're too scared to take a chance.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  There just are no more storytellers. That's it. Like,

• 41:47Sam Morril?

  No, there are. These fucking execs are crazy.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  I went to see, uh, Saturday Night, the, uh, Jason Reitman.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  How was it?

• 41:55Speaker 00

  And I saw it in the theater. And normally when you go to see like a comedy, they show you other comedy clips and stuff. Everything was Marvel, everything was DC.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Money, money, money.

• 42:04Speaker 00

  There's no other comedies in theaters that you could match it with. You literally couldn't put one other comedy.

• 42:09Mark Normand?

  And even if it's.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  Next to it.

• 42:11Sam Morril?

  I think he's gonna come on here. I think he's gonna come on here to promote it.

• 42:13Mark Normand?

  Reitman?

• 42:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 00

  He's great.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  He's so nice.

• 42:16Speaker 00

  He's a really good guy.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  Did you see it?

• 42:18Speaker 03

  The nerds have taken over.

• 42:19Mark Normand?

  I guess so. Well, the nerds spend money.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Can't believe we're leaving the, uh, yeah.

• 42:24Speaker 02

  Did you, did you see the Saturday Night movie?

• 42:27Speaker 03

  I did not.

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Are you going to as someone who has been on SNL?

• 42:31Speaker 03

  When it's on, uh, one of those shows, I will.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  When it's on what? Like a streamer? Is that what you're getting at?

• 42:39Sam Morril?

  Colin is a film savant. Colin has given me some of the best.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like good movies.

• 42:43Sam Morril?

  Cheers. Cheers. He's given me some of the, Colin recommended, uh, Mona Lisa and the Long Good Friday.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 42:49Sam Morril?

  And they're both amazing recs.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 42:51Sam Morril?

  You, you, I, I didn't, I knew you, I know you know about everything, but then I saw you just randomly on YouTube in the Criterion closet.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 42:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 42:59Sam Morril?

  And I was like, fuck, Colin knows every fucking movie, every made. What, you gotta hit us with some new.

• 43:04Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 43:06Sam Morril?

  Cause our listeners love movies.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  What were your Criterion picks?

• 43:08Speaker 03

  I can't, I, I don't remember, but I remember just popping in the closet and then suddenly all these movies come up and you're like, oh my God. So many great ones, but I can't remember them offhand.

• 43:16Speaker 00

  Mmm.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  I have to look at Criterion to understand. Yeah, put it up and I'll tell you what I like.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  CQ always has like good recs for.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  Everything that I watch.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  The one person I won't recommend a movie to ever again. Uh, I recommended this movie called East is East, which is an English Indian movie, Pakistani, and, um, really funny. Ah, I hated that movie.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Stupid Keith.

• 43:41Mark Normand?

  Well, he likes Marvel.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, Keith, that's all he likes. And he's also handicapped.

• 43:45Sam Morril?

  First stroke, I was like, dude, it's so fucked up. He's like, I just need to make it one more.

• 43:48Mark Normand?

  More Avenger movie. Oh, what a nerd.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  What a nerd is right.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 43:53Mark Normand?

  Geez.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  Keith's a crumb. Just the fact that he didn't like East is East, I'm still annoyed by it.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  I mean, come on, it's Keith.

• 43:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  Amicore's great, 400 blows is great.

• 44:02Sam Morril?

  Actually, dude, I just fucking bought six Criterion's because there was a flash sale and the Knicks were getting blown out. So I was like, I need some retail therapy. I'll tell you the six I bought. House of Games Mamet.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:13Sam Morril?

  Good fucking movie.

• 44:14Mark Normand?

  I love Mamet.

• 44:14Sam Morril?

  Something Wild, the Ray Liotta, you remember?

• 44:16Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 44:18Sam Morril?

  Good one. Mean Streets.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm gonna.

• 44:21Sam Morril?

  Happiness, because I've never seen it, I heard.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  That was good.

• 44:23Mark Normand?

  It's good, it's dark.

• 44:24Sam Morril?

  The Player, Altman fucking great.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:26Sam Morril?

  And Who Dreams, they were all on sale.

• 44:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah. There you go. What about Celtic Pride?

• 44:31Speaker 00

  They sent you.

• 44:33Sam Morril?

  No, I bought those. They were on sale. Yeah, yeah, they were like, yeah, they're 4K or blue.

• 44:37Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 44:38Sam Morril?

  Cool.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  What do you play it on?

• 44:40Sam Morril?

  I have a DVD player.

• 44:41Speaker 00

  Really?

• 44:42Mark Normand?

  Whoa, throwback.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  There he is.

• 44:44Mark Normand?

  Whoa hop shirt.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  Good shirt.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  So exciting.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 44:46Mark Normand?

  Who let the hobo in?

• 44:47Speaker 02

  All right, wait, so wait, are his recommendations down there? So we don't have to have.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. My Life is a Dog, The Greatest.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:55Speaker 03

  Pudicelat, Roma, Something Wild or Something Wild?

• 44:58Speaker 00

  You did Something Wild?

• 44:58Speaker 03

  No, but it's the other Something Wild too.

• 45:00Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  You know, the one from like 19?

• 45:02Sam Morril?

  No, I don't know it.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  That was a really interesting movie.

• 45:04Sam Morril?

  The one, I just love Ray Liotta.

• 45:06Speaker 00

  Oh, Girls Gone Wild?

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Ray Liotta is, not Girls Gone Wild, but I understand.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Wow, Tom.

• 45:10Sam Morril?

  It's just, it's just like, I love this movie because it's just like a weird, like it starts kind of like a different movie and it turns into this like scary.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  I remember this movie.

• 45:19Sam Morril?

  Kind of escape fantasy thing.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, like he meets the girl, she's like wild, they go to Jersey like a motel room.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  And then Ray Liotta shows up.

• 45:26Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 45:27Speaker 00

  Oh, right.

• 45:28Sam Morril?

  It might be my favorite Ray Liotta performance, dude. He's fucking hilarious.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:31Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 45:32Sam Morril?

  He's scary and also so funny.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  And he's so annoyed by the nerdiness of, what's it, you ever see Naked?

• 45:37Sam Morril?

  No.

• 45:38Mark Normand?

  No.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, it's great. They have all these English movies from that. You ever seen Nailed By Mouth? We talked about that?

• 45:44Sam Morril?

  No.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  It's Gary Oldman.

• 45:47Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  It's like his autobiographical thing.

• 45:49Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  It's. Oh, really?

• 45:51Speaker 02

  Wait, yes, yes, I have. Yes, yes, I have, yes.

• 45:55Sam Morril?

  Pull it up, what's it called?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:57Mark Normand?

  Wait, we're on Naked now.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  This is all like.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  Mike Lee is great. Ever see?

• 46:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, Mike Lee really, this is all my life when I was in high school.

• 46:05Sam Morril?

  One that you recommended?

• 46:06Speaker 03

  Nailed By Mouth, it's called.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Nailed By Mouth. No, just NIL. Oh, there it is, yeah.

• 46:11Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 46:12Sam Morril?

  Damn, all right.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, it's.

• 46:13Sam Morril?

  Throw it on the list.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  It's amazing.

• 46:15Mark Normand?

  Very British. Uh oh.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  Ray Winstone.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Smoochy.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:20Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  Another movie called Lady Bird, Lady Bird. There was a lot of great English movies in like the 90s, you know?

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  The only thing I know I talk about in that thing is this, this old Iranian lady was my, at the block by, at the local video store. And she would just come in every day. She goes, you watch this King of Mask? And I was like, okay. And she gave me the movie and it was always great.

• 46:40Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 46:40Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 46:42Mark Normand?

  How about that? We are missing that.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  We miss her.

• 46:45Mark Normand?

  The video days.

• 46:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, you went to a store.

• 46:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, and they had a cat.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  The most annoying part was, all these stupid film nerds, some of the comments were like, oh, Colin Quinn was just a bonehead.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  It made me so mad. There was like 30 comments were like, you believe Colin Quinn has taste in this?

• 47:13Sam Morril?

  No, I was so pumped, I, cause I, I recol on a movie once and I was, I was terrified.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, Mike and Nikki.

• 47:19Sam Morril?

  Cause you hated it after the first 25 minutes and I was like, you were like, you called me like, what the fuck is this shit? And then I was like, ah, man, that was like the first movie I recol on. Then he called me in two hours. He's like, it was good.

• 47:28Mark Normand?

  Hey, alright.

• 47:29Sam Morril?

  It's a slow movie, but that's.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  It's a slow movie, but it was good.

• 47:32Speaker 00

  What is this?

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Peter Falk, Cassavetes, wow.

• 47:36Sam Morril?

  This movie fucked Elaine May in Hollywood because it bombed so hard. She directed it.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  Why?

• 47:41Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 47:42Sam Morril?

  It bombed so hard, but it's, yeah, but it's freaking Peter Falk and Cassavetes. It's awesome.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  But it was such a great flop, but I do feel they let it drag too much into that like.

• 47:50Sam Morril?

  They did.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  You know, in those days.

• 47:52Sam Morril?

  It's a woman directing it, so they let a mob movie drag a little.

• 47:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, didn't shut up.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Uh, no. Jesus.

• 48:00Mark Normand?

  Alright, I'll check that out.

• 48:01Sam Morril?

  No, that movie's awesome.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  I watched Columbo the other night.

• 48:04Sam Morril?

  Oh, so good.

• 48:05Speaker 00

  God, hour and a half long.

• 48:07Mark Normand?

  What? An episode?

• 48:09Speaker 03

  They did one, once a week.

• 48:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 48:11Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 48:11Speaker 00

  Right.

• 48:12Mark Normand?

  What are these movie people doing?

• 48:13Speaker 00

  God, he was so good.

• 48:14Sam Morril?

  There's a Cassavetes episode of Columbo. That's a great one too.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  So good.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Was it one?

• 48:18Sam Morril?

  The Cassavetes app, where he's the, he turns out to be the villain.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  Cassavetes?

• 48:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Spoiler alert.

• 48:25Sam Morril?

  I think they, they probably, they open with the murder usually.

• 48:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 00

  Just one more, yeah, this is bothering me. I'm sure it's happening.

• 48:33Mark Normand?

  Hey, that's pretty good.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Oh, Tom. It's not the nineteen eighty.

• 48:39Speaker 00

  Aren't we so far from it that it's funny again?

• 48:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:43Speaker 03

  I guess you're doing it ironically.

• 48:46Sam Morril?

  Liz, do you have a movie rec?

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Oh, God. I mean, there's like, probably my favorite movie ever is Cinema Paradisio.

• 48:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's a great movie. Great movie.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Are you kidding me?

• 48:59Speaker 03

  I don't know it.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Are you kidding me, Tom?

• 49:02Sam Morril?

  I know it.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Are you for real?

• 49:04Mark Normand?

  It's beautiful.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. It is the most, it's one of the-

• 49:09Speaker 03

  The best.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  It is one of the most-

• 49:10Speaker 00

  I thought you said something else.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  I did. That's what I said. I said Cinema Paradisio. Thanks.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  Cinema Paradisio.

• 49:15Speaker 02

  It's one of the most beautiful movies. I've, yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  It's a great movie.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 49:20Speaker 03

  I'll tell you what else is great, Liz. I'm gonna tell, go ahead.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  I love that when he comes home, it's like this special visit.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  I know.

• 49:26Speaker 00

  It really makes you feel like, like when you feel guilty, like, I don't see my parents enough.

• 49:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:32Speaker 00

  Oh, that guy didn't.

• 49:35Mark Normand?

  True.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Tom once said that when he goes back to the Clifton Olive Garden.

• 49:41Speaker 00

  How dare you. How dare you. Mario's, Mario's beats in Clifton.

• 49:47Sam Morril?

  I love that I'm gonna be fucking hammered now to watch the Yankees get swept.

• 49:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:52Speaker 00

  I hope it just ends. We're gonna watch it.

• 49:55Sam Morril?

  Probably just home. I called out because I wanted to see the game.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  It's-

• 49:59Speaker 03

  They're gonna win tonight.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  It's just-

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Because everything's gonna lose.

• 50:02Speaker 00

  It should win at least one.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  They've got him.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  They're gonna win two.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  They've, they've gotta win this.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  They've won two.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  What's with Judge?

• 50:09Mark Normand?

  The Dodgers are gonna be lazy tonight.

• 50:11Speaker 00

  He's not even swinging aggressively.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  That was weird.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  Right?

• 50:14Speaker 03

  That was weird, yeah.

• 50:15Mark Normand?

  I think they're gonna win tonight.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  They're gonna lose.

• 50:18Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  But Liz, what about, I'll tell you, the movie, if Liz watches this movie, you've probably already watched it.

• 50:22Speaker 00

  I love Martinis.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  You'll love it as much as Cinema Paradisio. Knights in Cabiria.

• 50:27Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  We, we, pull it up, pull it up, pull it up.

• 50:30Speaker 00

  I don't think that's a real movie.

• 50:30Sam Morril?

  Isn't that, uh, is it Fellini? Who made it? Fellini?

• 50:34Mark Normand?

  Cabiria.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  And that's his wife.

• 50:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 50:36Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 50:38Speaker 00

  Oh, I remember that.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  It's amazing. Did you watch it?

• 50:41Speaker 00

  When she's in bed, she's just like all angry.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  I don't think she's in bed.

• 50:45Speaker 00

  Right?

• 50:46Mark Normand?

  He had to put the wife in the movie? Who is he, Apetow?

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 50:54Sam Morril?

  No, but Fellini's cool. I, I, I, Eight and a Half's amazing.

• 50:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, the best.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Could you look up the Star Maker two, the Italian version of the Star Maker? It's called something De Womo. If you guys watch these two movies, you're gonna be blown away. Now, that's-

• 51:09Mark Normand?

  Stallmaker?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Star Maker, but it's the Italian version.

• 51:12Mark Normand?

  I see.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  That one.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  De Womo delle Stelle.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  It's unbelievable.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  Man of the Stars, that's what it's called.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  That movie's my favorite, might be my favorite movie of all time.

• 51:21Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  What's it called?

• 51:23Speaker 02

  Il Womo delle Stelle.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  Il Womo delle Stelle.

• 51:25Speaker 00

  Can you send me a copy of this podcast so I can remember all these movies?

• 51:29Sam Morril?

  I know. Some of these dudes.

• 51:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:31Mark Normand?

  Alright, I'm on it.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  And Yomorocane with the music.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  What's it about?

• 51:34Speaker 02

  I'm in.

• 51:35Sam Morril?

  Damn, he, every time, he fucking kills the music.

• 51:37Speaker 03

  We should do a scene like from the Star Maker or from Tim Rappazito with Rich Voss playing one of the characters.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  We get, we get-

• 51:45Speaker 02

  You too.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  We get Frisco. We get him and Voss to do that.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Francesco Mattel and, yeah, and Voss. Oh, sure.

• 51:56Mark Normand?

  Gizmo didn't like that.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Gizmo's like, hey.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  This is one of the best things ever.

• 52:01Mark Normand?

  Really? Alright.

• 52:02Speaker 00

  What's it about?

• 52:04Speaker 03

  You're reading right now.

• 52:05Speaker 00

  Joe Morelli.

• 52:06Mark Normand?

  Traveling world Sicily.

• 52:07Speaker 00

  Offering to take screen tests of wannabe actors.

• 52:12Sam Morril?

  For a fee, he claims to work for a big Roman film studios, made reality, he's a fraud, he meets several people-

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Italian.

• 52:17Sam Morril?

  -who express their deepest feelings and secrets in front of the camera. At one, he's, at one of his stops, he meets a young girl.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  Beata.

• 52:25Sam Morril?

  Beata? A convent girl who becomes attached to him despite his protestations. Wow, okay, I'm, I'm interested.

• 52:31Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 52:32Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  None, yeah.

• 52:33Speaker 00

  Doesn't sound that great, but I'll give it a try.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  I mean, it sounds like he's fucking a nun.

• 52:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  That's what it sounds like.

• 52:38Speaker 00

  He's sexy, very well.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 52:43Speaker 00

  She, he didn't have a woman partner?

• 52:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  Don't spoil it, don't spoil it. Il Womo delle Stelle.

• 52:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that Beata?

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, baby. Love those young Italian horses.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  Man of the Stars.

• 52:58Mark Normand?

  Mm, mm, mm.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  Yep. Perfect.

• 53:01Mark Normand?

  Remember that girl in The Godfather? The Sicilian broad?

• 53:05Speaker 02

  The wife.

• 53:05Mark Normand?

  The wife who blows up?

• 53:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:07Mark Normand?

  Spoiler alert.

• 53:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Mark Normand?

  She was something. Anna Panoply, what was her name? Yeah.

• 53:12Sam Morril?

  Oh man, when he gets away from it all.

• 53:14Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 53:15Sam Morril?

  Start a new chapter, get some Sicilian pun on it.

• 53:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Acropolis, what was her name?

• 53:20Speaker 02

  Acropolis, Apollonia.

• 53:22Mark Normand?

  Apollonia, that's it.

• 53:25Sam Morril?

  That's when you were a kid, you throw that on, you see some tits and you're like, fuck yeah.

• 53:28Mark Normand?

  Huge.

• 53:28Sam Morril?

  And this is like an artistic movie, so it's not a piece of shit.

• 53:31Mark Normand?

  Seventies tits.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  I noticed that young dudes aren't into The Godfather.

• 53:35Mark Normand?

  What?

• 53:35Sam Morril?

  I heard that.

• 53:36Mark Normand?

  Too slow?

• 53:37Speaker 00

  It doesn't resonate with them, the idea of... I don't know, that kind of masculinity and tradition, it just...

• 53:44Speaker 03

  Fuck masculinity!

• 53:45Speaker 00

  It's lost on them.

• 53:46Sam Morril?

  They should make a mob movie about influencers and then they'll be like...

• 53:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  My god.

• 53:53Mark Normand?

  That's a good idea.

• 53:54Sam Morril?

  You come to my house not to make a fucking video for my vlog?

• 53:59Speaker 00

  What kind of disrespect is this?

• 54:00Mark Normand?

  You say, "My friend, you don't follow me?"

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 54:09Mark Normand?

  That's coming.

• 54:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, some of those classics, like when you're growing up, they're like, Network was another one. Like, great movies and tits, this is a great combo.

• 54:17Speaker 00

  What about Dog Day Afternoon?

• 54:18Mark Normand?

  Classic.

• 54:19Sam Morril?

  Probably my top 10 movies ever.

• 54:21Mark Normand?

  Ahead of the game on trans, by the way.

• 54:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 54:24Speaker 00

  Oh great.

• 54:25Sam Morril?

  Dog Day is like, it's just like, perfect, man. Sidney Lumet just fucking rules.

• 54:30Speaker 03

  They're shooting up the block from my house.

• 54:32Mark Normand?

  That park's low?

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:34Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  It's Bishop Ford, it's Windsor Terrace, right?

• 54:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Right there.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  I'm walking up the block, my friend goes, "They're shooting a movie like eight blocks away. We should go be extras." I was like, "I'm not gonna fuck it." I could've been an extra in Dog Day Afternoon.

• 54:48Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 54:48Mark Normand?

  Ah, man.

• 54:50Speaker 00

  They could've plucked you out of the crowd.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Who knew it was gonna be a big, extras is so important part of it.

• 54:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 54:55Sam Morril?

  You ever watch The Verdict?

• 54:55Speaker 03

  They weren't saying there's money involved, they were just saying we could go stand and watch.

• 54:58Sam Morril?

  Dude, The Verdict, you can see an extra Bruce Willis as one of the jurors.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 55:04Sam Morril?

  Big head of hair, it's crazy, yeah. It's kinda cool to see that stuff.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  And now he can't speak, it's so sad.

• 55:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:10Speaker 00

  Studied in Montclair.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  Aphasia.

• 55:12Sam Morril?

  There he is.

• 55:13Speaker 00

  Montclair Theater Department.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  Where? Oh, wow.

• 55:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's a fuck it. That's another Sidney Lumet, by the way.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:18Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  He's so... Sidney Lumet is like...

• 55:21Speaker 03

  How about Q and A? The greatest.

• 55:23Speaker 00

  What did Al Pacino win?

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Sidney Lumet. Q and A?

• 55:25Mark Normand?

  I don't know Q and A.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  Oh, that's a good, that'll great.

• 55:28Sam Morril?

  We fucking...

• 55:29Speaker 03

  Jim Norton loves that one, too.

• 55:30Mark Normand?

  He loves Q and on.

• 55:39Mark Normand?

  I've never heard of Q and A.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 55:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, young Nolte.

• 55:43Speaker 00

  Nolte. Where's Nolte?

• 55:44Speaker 02

  Whatever happened?

• 55:45Mark Normand?

  Well, the mugshot happened and it ruined him.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  But after, I mean, come on.

• 55:49Mark Normand?

  I think that hurt him, but I mean, I don't give a shit.

• 55:52Speaker 02

  Come back, Nick, come back.

• 55:54Mark Normand?

  It was something.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  And it was written by Judge Edwin Torres.

• 55:58Sam Morril?

  Luis Guzman, dude. We met him at

• 56:02Speaker 02

  Sidney Lumet.

• 56:04Sam Morril?

  Garden Laughs, De Stefano and I, and it was so funny watching. He was so nice. He was the coolest guy. It was so funny watching De Stefano try to be like, he goes, "I got a sitcom going. You'd be great as their father-in-law." And he's like, "I don't do like bad TV stuff."

• 56:16Speaker 02

  Wow, sounds sort of like something that Colin said. Yeah, "I'm not gonna be your father in your pilot. No, no, no. I'm gonna do my own stuff." Enter Chaz Pimenter.

• 56:31Mark Normand?

  You knew it was gonna flop.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  I just like that script.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  It wrote the script where there's literally no conflict after the pilot.

• 56:40Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 56:41Speaker 03

  How you gonna have a show?

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  All right, you got principles.

• 56:44Sam Morril?

  The show already failed. We didn't have to trash it, you know?

• 56:46Speaker 02

  It's fair.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  De Stefano needed to hear it again. All right. Words of caution. Just one word.

• 56:59Speaker 00

  The show that lasted one episode was not good.

• 57:05Speaker 00

  We want to prove it again.

• 57:08Mark Normand?

  That must have been tough, though.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  You should put a balloon here called Chris's Dream and then we'll.

• 57:13Sam Morril?

  Well, I think the turnaround is that Guzman might do the show now.

• 57:17Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 57:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and he was so fucking cool. And that guy's also been in like so many.

• 57:22Mark Normand?

  He's been in everything.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  He's been in a lot of stuff.

• 57:24Sam Morril?

  He's like low key, kind of just been in every great.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Everything.

• 57:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:28Sam Morril?

  Boogie Nights.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  The only thing you'll never see him on, Kiltown.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  Hey, release this soon or it's gonna look old.

• 57:40Speaker 00

  Move it up.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Lord have mercy.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Bump us, bump us, bump us past Ari and Adrian.

• 57:50Sam Morril?

  He's got a good filmography there.

• 57:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  I mean, everything.

• 57:54Sam Morril?

  Out of Sight is so good.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 57:56Sam Morril?

  The Limy is good.

• 57:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, Traffic.

• 57:57Sam Morril?

  Traffic's sick. Damn, dude.

• 58:00Mark Normand?

  Damn. Ah, Pluto Nash.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  Pluto Nash.

• 58:03Sam Morril?

  Magnolia.

• 58:04Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 58:05Speaker 03

  And by the way, in Q and A, he's amazing.

• 58:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah?

• 58:08Speaker 03

  He's great.

• 58:09Sam Morril?

  Gotta, gotta see Q.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  Everybody's great in it.

• 58:12Sam Morril?

  All right. Dude, you gonna, can you write some of these down for me? Cause I'm gonna, I.

• 58:15Speaker 00

  I know.

• 58:16Sam Morril?

  My next.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  And then text it to all of us.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Just write down Q and A.

• 58:20Mark Normand?

  Anna Star is born, or whatever.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  I like the idea of the, I like Influencer Godfather the best of all these movies.

• 58:27Mark Normand?

  That's fun.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Influencer Godfather?

• 58:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is a good idea.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  Make that.

• 58:30Speaker 00

  I can, I can get five mil for that.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  Text Pimp. Make it happen.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  That'd be good. Oh, Pimp would do it in a second.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  Of course he would.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Influencer Godfather.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  He would love that.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  If you guys could do that.

• 58:41Sam Morril?

  Why, why do you think they're not into it, this generation?

• 58:44Speaker 03

  Why?

• 58:45Speaker 02

  Cause they're too busy watching like four things.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  First of all, we're taking Tom Ward with no evidence.

• 58:50Sam Morril?

  But I think he's right. I've heard this from other people.

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Now we're supposed to believe it.

• 58:53Sam Morril?

  No, but I've heard other people say this.

• 58:54Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 58:55Mark Normand?

  People are up their own ass. They don't wanna watch another family.

• 58:58Sam Morril?

  It's, it's three and a half hours is probably why.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Everybody, everybody just wants the 60 seconds, 120 seconds on their phone and then keep it moving. That's it.

• 59:07Sam Morril?

  Maybe that's why they gotta watch Godfather.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Even in those days, by the way, they said Godfather was, uh, they were, they, you know, you're screening for Paramount executives and they were like, we have a bomb on our hands. This is terrible. It's slow. It's lit too dark. There's no, not enough violence. They, they wouldn't buy any plot.

• 59:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Speaker 03

  They were horrified. They were all like, what a bomb. And there was a panic in the studio.

• 59:30Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  It is.

• 59:31Speaker 00

  God.

• 59:32Mark Normand?

  Did you read the offer? About the getting the Godfather made?

• 59:36Sam Morril?

  The show's the offer, the book is uh...

• 59:38Speaker 03

  I watched the series.

• 59:40Mark Normand?

  I watched the series too, I didn't read the book.

• 59:41Sam Morril?

  The book is called something else, I forgot, it's good.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  spaghetti or something.

• 59:44Mark Normand?

  No, Puzo.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  Mario Mario.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  The book's called An Office You Can't Refuse.

• 59:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's something like that.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  No, it's called The Office. Is it The Office?

• 59:54Sam Morril?

  The book about the making of The Godfather, just look that up.

• 59:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah, cause it's...

• 59:58Speaker 03

  How much do you think Ricky Gervais is worth?

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 1:00:01Speaker 00

  Ask Google.

• 1:00:02Speaker 03

  Well, I just wanna know one thing. How much did he make off the American Office?

• 1:00:06Mark Normand?

  That's it.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  Is that my...

• 1:00:08Mark Normand?

  He made a ton off of that, he's set for life.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  But how much is a ton?

• 1:00:11Mark Normand?

  I bet we could Google his net worth.

• 1:00:13Speaker 03

  Oh, I wanna know how much he got off the American Office.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  Four hundred million.

• 1:00:17Mark Normand?

  Easy.

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  Off the American Office?

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:19Speaker 03

  You guys are crazy.

• 1:00:20Mark Normand?

  Residuals.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  That's too much.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  He's made enough money that he...

• 1:00:24Speaker 00

  He's cashing those checks every day.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  He is very happy to not do anything after 8pm to make sure he's in his house by 8pm.

• 1:00:32Mark Normand?

  Well, he does stand up.

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  But does stand up?

• 1:00:33Speaker 00

  What are you saying, he's got FU money?

• 1:00:35Mark Normand?

  And he does that other show.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  But I wanna know what he made on the American Office.

• 1:00:39Sam Morril?

  Does he come by the cellar before he...

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  He's been, he's been before, yeah, but it's, you know, he doesn't wanna do anything late.

• 1:00:46Mark Normand?

  NBC picked it up, Netflix picked it up.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  What is it, a bunch of comments? That's not the answer.

• 1:00:49Mark Normand?

  Let's read it.

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  His net worth, one hundred and sixty million.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  See, you guys are four hundred on the Office alone, I knew you guys were doing...

• 1:00:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but that shit, that shit's worth like forty.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  Do you believe him when he says kids don't like The Godfather and he doesn't even...

• 1:01:01Speaker 00

  They don't, they really don't.

• 1:01:03Mark Normand?

  Pull up Colin Quinn's net worth.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Pull up Sam Morril's net worth.

• 1:01:06Mark Normand?

  Oh shit, now we're getting somewhere.

• 1:01:10Sam Morril?

  That's my point, it's like this shit is bull...

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  Sam Morril's net worth.

• 1:01:13Sam Morril?

  I don't trust it.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  And then, let's see, fuck Colin.

• 1:01:15Mark Normand?

  What do you want?

• 1:01:15Speaker 02

  We don't need Colin, Sam.

• 1:01:17Mark Normand?

  What is this, Bing? What uh, search engine are you using here?

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  Bing.

• 1:01:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, what is this, Ask Jeeves?

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  Ooh, CQ, two million, alright, alright. Now put in dumb Sam's name.

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  Not for long, that one, I thought that's new. Infowars, The Godfather.

• 1:01:32Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  Oh, no!

• 1:01:36Mark Normand?

  Wow, you beat CQ?

• 1:01:38Sam Morril?

  What a shitty grin, what is this?

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  All my life, all my life I slayed away.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Oh, real estate, real estate, alright.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  Don't put in Tom Papa, I don't wanna embarrass you.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  Do it right now, do it right now, Tom Papa.

• 1:01:53Mark Normand?

  Put Liz, it'll say who?

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  It'll be like, what?

• 1:01:55Speaker 00

  These things are never right.

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Tom Papa.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Tommy Pop.

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  Five hundred thousand.

• 1:02:02Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  Oh, Tommy Pop.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  Now I gotta make this movie.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  The fusel of Tom have double my wealth.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Let's start writing, boys. The years I pay my people extra so they don't do pay.

• 1:02:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's not good. Todd Barry beat you.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  David Tell, that's crazy.

• 1:02:27Mark Normand?

  That's a horrible photo.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  No, no, no. He is great real estate, David Tell. Great real estate. Hundred percent.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  Those sons of bitches really got me.

• 1:02:35Mark Normand?

  Go to Taylor Swift.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:02:37Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  Colin.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  Hey, you know, I screwed up.

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  One point five billion.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  Now she's got the kind of money I like.

• 1:02:44Mark Normand?

  She's funny.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  That's some fucky money.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  That's what I'm talking about. That's real money.

• 1:02:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, but she funded a party.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  Who gave her?

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Six hundred million.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  Oh, boy.

• 1:02:52Sam Morril?

  Man, I would love to trade places with that guy.

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  Everyone wants a downtown Brooklyn address.

• 1:03:01Speaker 00

  What's the inside scoop on that? When does that trial start?

• 1:03:04Mark Normand?

  That's what's annoying about him. I want some hard, hard facts.

• 1:03:07Speaker 00

  I just seen rumors on the internet.

• 1:03:09Mark Normand?

  Yes. We got the, we got the beating in the hallway.

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:03:11Mark Normand?

  That's something concrete.

• 1:03:13Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:03:13Mark Normand?

  But everything else is like, he fucked Bieber, J Lo's getting a divorce, what'd he do with Jay-Z? I'm like, give me something.

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:03:19Speaker 00

  They keep saying all these celebrities have left the country.

• 1:03:22Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  Well, I feel like they're just, they're clamping down. They're finding, everybody's getting deals.

• 1:03:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  It's gonna be a lot of rappers that are CIA assets for the next twenty years.

• 1:03:31Sam Morril?

  Who do you think's the biggest name on that Diddy party list? Cause I've heard, I've heard Jay-Z, I've heard murmurs of LeBron.

• 1:03:36Mark Normand?

  DiCaprio.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Dude, everybody, everybody wants to go to the party.

• 1:03:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but who was at the bad part is what I'm asking.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  Um, all of them.

• 1:03:44Speaker 00

  Your midnight.

• 1:03:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  They were all there after midnight.

• 1:03:46Speaker 00

  Did you say Keith?

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  Keith, Keith Robinson.

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  John Last.

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  I'm saying it's Keith Robinson. Keith Robinson.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:03:54Speaker 00

  Keith would still go to a party if he was invited.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, he would.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Of course he would. He'd be like, freedom.

• 1:04:02Mark Normand?

  I would go too if I was invited.

• 1:04:04Speaker 00

  Where's the time?

• 1:04:06Mark Normand?

  He got a couple of strokes in.

• 1:04:09Speaker 00

  Geez.

• 1:04:10Mark Normand?

  Sorry, but.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  Who the hell was it?

• 1:04:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:12Mark Normand?

  You would have gone Epstein's Island. You would have gone Epstein.

• 1:04:15Speaker 00

  Well, do you think that he survives? Like?

• 1:04:17Mark Normand?

  P. Diddy?

• 1:04:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, does he?

• 1:04:18Mark Normand?

  Nah, he's already got jail time and.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  No, like, no, like Epstein, right?

• 1:04:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, the old.

• 1:04:25Speaker 00

  Did they let him survive?

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  I think Diddy is doing just fine.

• 1:04:30Mark Normand?

  Good question.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  Like, I think you put him in any sort of jail scenario and he'll be okay.

• 1:04:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 00

  So you don't think the powerful people try and?

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  You tell us you're part of the Illuminati with that four million? Yeah, you're friends with that, Damon, come on.

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  I can't believe those numbers are always inaccurate.

• 1:04:51Mark Normand?

  No, that's Mayor Adams.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's another one, I'm sure.

• 1:04:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Mayor Adams is in hot water.

• 1:04:58Speaker 00

  Cat Williams was the prophet.

• 1:05:00Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:05:01Speaker 00

  Jeez, Louis.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  It's all his people.

• 1:05:04Mark Normand?

  No, that's Bruce Willis.

• 1:05:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Sam Morril?

  He doesn't remember it, though.

• 1:05:09Mark Normand?

  And he's not talking either.

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  He can't speak. That's how Bruce wins.

• 1:05:14Speaker 00

  Oh, geebers, creepers.

• 1:05:16Mark Normand?

  Smart. He planted the seed early. Hey, I can't talk anymore.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  Just another example of why it was smart to stay in stand-up.

• 1:05:22Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:05:23Speaker 00

  And not chase the big money, guys.

• 1:05:25Mark Normand?

  With the losers.

• 1:05:25Speaker 00

  Good job. Good job.

• 1:05:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're not throwing any good parties.

• 1:05:30Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Oh, no, absolutely not.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  He didn't do that movie.

• 1:05:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:35Sam Morril?

  Although we are throwing a party next week, but we'll tell you about that later.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 00

  A party?

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Sam Morril?

  We're both invited.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  Oh, no, is it like an anniversary for the show?

• 1:05:44Sam Morril?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:05:44Speaker 00

  Do we have to wear white?

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  Only you, Tom.

• 1:05:47Speaker 00

  It's gonna get crazy after seven years.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  It's a centaria party.

• 1:05:50Mark Normand?

  Just a Klan hood.

• 1:05:55Mark Normand?

  But, yeah, we're doing a little bodega cat, uh.

• 1:05:57Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  Release party?

• 1:05:58Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  At a bodega?

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  No, at the fat white pussycat.

• 1:06:02Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. All right.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:06:06Mark Normand?

  By the way, I heard a Hispanic guy recently saying, hey, stop, white guy, stop saying bodega. Like, that's not for you. And I was like, oh, shit, we just started this whole liquor.

• 1:06:14Speaker 00

  What are you supposed to say?

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  You don't have to answer that.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  Deli?

• 1:06:17Mark Normand?

  Convenience store, deli, but deli's Jewish.

• 1:06:19Speaker 00

  Whiskey?

• 1:06:20Sam Morril?

  Bodega's like a New York thing. I didn't even think of it.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, bodega is in New York. It's like, yeah.

• 1:06:24Speaker 03

  The word is Spanish, that's it. When I was growing up, it was Koreans on them.

• 1:06:27Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  The Korean.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  No, actually, it used to be Puerto Rican, then it became Koreans.

• 1:06:32Mark Normand?

  I see. You ever see the Koreans on the roof in the, uh, the, uh, riots?

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  LA, yep.

• 1:06:37Mark Normand?

  That's a great photo.

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  I remember that.

• 1:06:39Mark Normand?

  Pull them up.

• 1:06:40Sam Morril?

  Man.

• 1:06:41Mark Normand?

  Yes, white will can say bodega. Thank you, Google.

• 1:06:44Speaker 03

  Go to AI.

• 1:06:46Mark Normand?

  The whitest site ever.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  Come see Sam.

• 1:06:49Mark Normand?

  Look at these guys. These are fucking men.

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  I remember that.

• 1:06:53Mark Normand?

  Just protecting their, their cornerstone.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  Their homestead.

• 1:06:57Speaker 03

  I remember that whole time. Crazy.

• 1:06:58Sam Morril?

  Good times.

• 1:06:59Mark Normand?

  They're definitely the toughest Asian.

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  Oh, Koreans?

• 1:07:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:03Sam Morril?

  It's definitely an Asian fucker, dude.

• 1:07:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but they got no shoes on. They're doing, uh...

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  They are tough, but guess who's tougher? Tongans. They're giants who walk the earth.

• 1:07:13Mark Normand?

  Pull them up. What's a Tongan?

• 1:07:19Mark Normand?

  What's a Tongan?

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  Bobby?

• 1:07:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, these like Sumo?

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  What about, yeah, the Sumos are tough. What about the Maoris? What are the Tongans?

• 1:07:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, the Samoans.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Samoans are giants who walk the earth.

• 1:07:31Mark Normand?

  Yes. Hak Tua? No, what's the guy? Tua?

• 1:07:33Speaker 00

  I've never seen a Samoan fight, though.

• 1:07:35Mark Normand?

  What's the guy? Tua, the, the football player.

• 1:07:37Sam Morril?

  From the Dolphins?

• 1:07:38Mark Normand?

  The guy who got canceled?

• 1:07:39Sam Morril?

  Is that tough or...? No, he's not canceled.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  The guy from the Dolphins?

• 1:07:43Mark Normand?

  What's his name?

• 1:07:44Sam Morril?

  You see, he's not gonna wear one of those special helmets to actually protect.

• 1:07:48Mark Normand?

  Teo. Not Tua. Teo.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  Oh, Manu Teo. Yeah, that's a totally different dude.

• 1:07:54Mark Normand?

  Uh, who are you thinking of? Tua?

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  Quarterback from the Miami Dolphins.

• 1:07:57Sam Morril?

  No, he just had a guy fuck with his head. Not a concussion. No, Tua, this guy won't wear the fucking helmet to help this.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:05Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 1:08:05Speaker 02

  He won't wear that, like, crown thing.

• 1:08:07Speaker 03

  Samoans consider it feminine to do that. And they're right.

• 1:08:11Speaker 00

  I do too, for the record.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  I mean, he played high school football.

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  He did, yes.

• 1:08:15Sam Morril?

  You know, doing this is not the most manly shit either, so, you know.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  Why? Can they play ukulele, the Samoans?

• 1:08:20Sam Morril?

  I don't know. I know just being like concussed and doing this shit.

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  I was like, were having Parkinson's?

• 1:08:26Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, he's like...

• 1:08:27Sam Morril?

  That's how he, like, his hands are moving.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  He's doing it like Trump.

• 1:08:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:32Speaker 03

  I'm making fun of the same people. How about Tommy played high school football for Clifton High?

• 1:08:37Sam Morril?

  You played high school football?

• 1:08:38Speaker 02

  Dude, Tom was, I'm gonna say this, Tom was a badass. Tom played football, Tom is like motorcycle, cross-country.

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  Good-looking guy, studly guy.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Tom Papa, badass. Tattoos, like Tom Papa badass.

• 1:08:54Mark Normand?

  And now you're baking bread.

• 1:08:55Speaker 02

  I'm saying it. Emily bakes an amazing group of bread.

• 1:08:59Speaker 03

  There was only one problem, and he says it in a book, it's not a secret. Glaz, you'll know what this is.

• 1:09:05Sam Morril?

  The shocker?

• 1:09:06Speaker 03

  The horns. This girl was cheating on him in high school.

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  Wah wah.

• 1:09:11Mark Normand?

  What do you mean? You gave her the horns?

• 1:09:13Speaker 03

  That's what they call it in Italian.

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, I see.

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  Tom told him what happened when you told your friend.

• 1:09:21Speaker 03

  A traumatic memory.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  Colin read his book.

• 1:09:24Speaker 03

  I think she's cheating on me. He told his friend.

• 1:09:26Speaker 00

  I think, I said, I think, I think I said, I think she's cheating on me with so-and-so. And he was like, so-and-so.

• 1:09:35Speaker 00

  She's cheating on you with everybody.

• 1:09:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:09:42Sam Morril?

  That sucks for you the last time. How'd you confront her?

• 1:09:47Speaker 00

  Crying.

• 1:09:50Speaker 00

  Why?

• 1:09:53Speaker 03

  In his football uniform.

• 1:09:55Speaker 00

  Why?

• 1:09:56Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:09:57Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:09:58Speaker 00

  Just promise you won't do it again.

• 1:10:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:10:02Speaker 00

  I learned a lot from that relationship.

• 1:10:04Sam Morril?

  I didn't know Tom Papa as a badass.

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  He was a badass.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, Tom's badass.

• 1:10:09Speaker 03

  Oh, shit, Tom, rock and roll.

• 1:10:11Sam Morril?

  Did you know him was that?

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  No, I, I didn't mean to say it like that. I, no, I didn't know the badass Tom, I've only heard about the badass Tom.

• 1:10:19Mark Normand?

  Do you ever wanna let that guy out again?

• 1:10:21Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, he's kind of, he's kind of, he's kind of Frank the tanking it now. He's like popping his head up now that my kids are gone.

• 1:10:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, good.

• 1:10:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:30Sam Morril?

  I think you're a couple martini.

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  Get on the bike.

• 1:10:32Speaker 00

  It's like, I can have weed on my coffee table again?

• 1:10:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:35Speaker 00

  Like, yeah, wait a minute. But I don't think I have the stamina, the with, the willpower.

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  I heard, I heard about him.

• 1:10:40Speaker 00

  The brain cells. I don't think he's coming back.

• 1:10:43Sam Morril?

  It creeps out in their stand-up too, because, because Tom is pretty clean, but every once in a while I'll have a bit about, you have that bit about drinking over the sink? And I was like, oh shit.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  What? Yeah.

• 1:10:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:52Speaker 03

  A lot of, a lot of the female bookers on the road have told me about this too.

• 1:10:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, easy.

• 1:10:57Sam Morril?

  They told him about this shit right here?

• 1:11:00Mark Normand?

  Rebecca Trent.

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  He gave me old horns.

• 1:11:05Speaker 02

  You, you read all of Tom's books?

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  I read, uh, I read two of them.

• 1:11:10Speaker 00

  Colin interviewed me at the 92nd Street Y. And the Barnes and Noble.

• 1:11:15Mark Normand?

  Wow. You have books?

• 1:11:17Speaker 00

  He's a good friend.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  He has books. The problem with Tom's books, not the problem, love him, love Tom, is that you read Tom's book and all you hear is Tom's voice in your head. They're that well-written that you literally just hear Tom talking to you. And for someone that knows Tom, it's a little disconcerting.

• 1:11:36Speaker 03

  Yes, it is. You have, you have four books.

• 1:11:38Mark Normand?

  Holy.

• 1:11:38Speaker 00

  Three.

• 1:11:39Mark Normand?

  Whoa. How do you write all this?

• 1:11:41Speaker 00

  I have three books.

• 1:11:41Speaker 02

  He's a prolific motherfucker.

• 1:11:45Speaker 00

  You're Doing Great's a book, Your Dad Stole My Rake, and Other Family Dilemmas, and We're All in This Together.

• 1:11:51Sam Morril?

  Was Human Mule the Rob Zombie one?

• 1:11:53Speaker 00

  Human Mule was not, uh...

• 1:11:55Speaker 02

  No, Freaked Out was Rob Zombie, right?

• 1:11:56Speaker 00

  Freaked Out and Live in New York, with Rob Zombie.

• 1:11:59Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:11:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you were rocking a martini in that one, the New York one.

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  In the New York one.

• 1:12:02Speaker 03

  You should make Soderbergh's direct one, he's special.

• 1:12:04Speaker 00

  I tried. He had no part of it.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  You know, I love Soderbergh.

• 1:12:08Speaker 00

  But his, uh, his...

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  How about Matt Damon?

• 1:12:10Speaker 00

  But...

• 1:12:11Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:12:12Speaker 02

  What's about Matt Damon?

• 1:12:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, that would be good.

• 1:12:15Speaker 03

  Tell him to do like a Bourne Identity special where you go to...

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  Tell him, "Ooh, that'd be great. You, Tom on a motorcycle, Matt Damon. I should not have another martini."

• 1:12:25Mark Normand?

  Stillborn Identity.

• 1:12:27Speaker 00

  Stillborn Identity.

• 1:12:29Sam Morril?

  What did Soderbergh say when you, when you asked him to?

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Absolutely not.

• 1:12:32Speaker 00

  I'm busy.

• 1:12:34Speaker 03

  Tom, I love the work.

• 1:12:35Speaker 00

  Greg Jacobs, though, who works with Soderbergh, is a director. He did, uh, he did You're Doing Great.

• 1:12:41Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:12:42Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something. I'll, I'll say this right now. I was just joking when I said that. The audacity of you to ask Soderbergh to direct it.

• 1:12:51Speaker 00

  If you don't ask.

• 1:12:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you gotta ask.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  He introduced me to Soderbergh, and Soderbergh came right up, and he goes, "I know you loved it, but Confederative Dunces will never be a movie." And he wrote...

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  He tried.

• 1:13:03Speaker 03

  He tried to do it. He's from New Orleans.

• 1:13:04Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:13:05Speaker 03

  And he said, it's not meant to be.

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  That is your favorite book ever.

• 1:13:08Mark Normand?

  It should be a movie.

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  That is your favorite book.

• 1:13:11Speaker 03

  That's right. They shouldn't. Although.

• 1:13:13Speaker 00

  Wow, wow.

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  Michael, you know, Michael, the bartender singer from the cellar.

• 1:13:17Speaker 00

  In the cellar?

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:18Speaker 03

  Michael goes, sends us these scripts. It's like, oh no. He sent us all these scripts. Oh no, he wrote all these Confederacy. He goes, I wrote the whole series.

• 1:13:26Speaker 00

  He wrote the Confederacy Dunce as a streamer, like eight episodes?

• 1:13:29Speaker 03

  It's brilliant.

• 1:13:30Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 1:13:31Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:13:31Speaker 03

  It's brilliant.

• 1:13:32Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 1:13:33Speaker 00

  The money. It really captures everything you wanted to capture.

• 1:13:37Speaker 03

  It's amazing.

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  Wait, I'm literally gonna text him right now.

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  He did it for no reason.

• 1:13:42Sam Morril?

  Certain book, what was the Tom Wolfe book that just tanked as a movie?

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, Bonfire of the Vanity.

• 1:13:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, like certain stuff just doesn't.

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  And they wrote a great book. Well, that was the beginning of politically correct. That book was great because it was all based, there was a Jewish judge, there was the Irish guy, there was the black guy. Uh, and they made it, they changed the whole thing. They took all the ethnicities and mess, change it because they were like, we don't need to be that. And they changed the essence of what it was. His thing was about New York and everybody being who they were and they just.

• 1:14:15Sam Morril?

  Certain people are just like, you can just be reading a book and you're like, yeah, you're gonna, you're too scared. I, I read a book over the weekend, I was on the road called, uh, A Rage in Harlem, Chester Heim.

• 1:14:25Speaker 03

  Right, I remember this book.

• 1:14:26Sam Morril?

  It's a cool book, but I was like, holy shit, they would never make a book, like it's so fucking violent, they would ruin this, you know?

• 1:14:32Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:14:33Sam Morril?

  And it was like, there was like a trans element and it was like really kinda, it was like the fifties. It's like cutting edge shit. It's awesome.

• 1:14:39Speaker 03

  By the way, Q and A has some of the greatest trans elements of all time.

• 1:14:41Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:14:42Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna watch this this weekend.

• 1:14:44Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:14:45Speaker 00

  Confederacy Dunce is, even though the scripts are really great.

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:48Speaker 00

  Everyone has their own vision of what he is. You know what I mean?

• 1:14:52Speaker 03

  Ignatius?

• 1:14:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. Like, I feel like you have to cast that like as an unknown.

• 1:14:57Speaker 03

  I agree. An unknown with a big voice, like a British, almost like a British, like that guy out of a plat, do you remember?

• 1:15:04Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:15:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:05Sam Morril?

  We tried to get him on the pod. He's so, he wouldn't come on just for sobriety.

• 1:15:08Speaker 03

  I'll tell you who could have done it.

• 1:15:10Sam Morril?

  We have sober guests all the time.

• 1:15:11Speaker 03

  I'll tell you who could have done it. If he gained weight, Will Ferrell.

• 1:15:16Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  He almost did it. Will Ferrell could do it because he'd go all the way with it.

• 1:15:20Speaker 00

  Who did it, uh, off Broadway? Someone did it in Connecticut.

• 1:15:23Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, um, what's his face from, uh, Parks and Rec, you know, they.

• 1:15:28Speaker 00

  Oh, um.

• 1:15:29Mark Normand?

  Offerman.

• 1:15:29Speaker 03

  Offerman. He did a whole Broadway show.

• 1:15:32Speaker 00

  That's kind of, that's kind of on the.

• 1:15:33Mark Normand?

  That's not bad.

• 1:15:34Speaker 03

  But Will Ferrell, Will Ferrell would be so, Will Ferrell's insane enough to really pull it off too. Wow, that looks just like him.

• 1:15:41Mark Normand?

  That's him.

• 1:15:42Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 1:15:43Speaker 00

  That's Offerman.

• 1:15:44Mark Normand?

  They went a little too piraty there, huh?

• 1:15:46Speaker 00

  Well.

• 1:15:46Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, the pirate, remember there's a pirate scene and it was, he dressed like a pirate.

• 1:15:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay. Yeah, all right. I guess that's the one. There, that's what I was picturing.

• 1:15:53Speaker 00

  To do it on the stage is tough, God.

• 1:15:56Mark Normand?

  Wow, they really fatted him up.

• 1:15:57Speaker 03

  Oh, there he is. Yeah.

• 1:15:58Speaker 00

  It's hard to judge. You can never judge anything in the theater on, from a photo or.

• 1:16:02Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:16:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't, yeah.

• 1:16:04Speaker 00

  It just always, right? Like New York One when they show like a greatest play.

• 1:16:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:07Speaker 03

  That's Myrna Minkoff probably. Yeah, he's a good actor, that guy Nick Offerman too.

• 1:16:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:13Speaker 00

  Look at that belly. They got him, his good belly going too.

• 1:16:16Sam Morril?

  He's in a new thing about Chester A. Arthur, uh, coming out and, uh.

• 1:16:20Speaker 03

  The President?

• 1:16:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Maybe it's about Garfield, but he plays Chester Arthur actually, but it's like, it, it sounds awesome.

• 1:16:26Speaker 03

  What the hell? What are you, what are you saying, Sam? None of us know.

• 1:16:31Mark Normand?

  Give it a go.

• 1:16:32Speaker 03

  Oh, he's in it.

• 1:16:33Sam Morril?

  He's, he plays, he plays, uh.

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  We thought you were just bringing up Chester A. Arthur, which nobody's ever brought up.

• 1:16:38Sam Morril?

  Well, no, he plays him in the thing.

• 1:16:40Mark Normand?

  Same, same episode.

• 1:16:41Sam Morril?

  Well, no, I've, uh, cause it's, I mean, it seems.

• 1:16:43Speaker 03

  Was he like a scandalous president?

• 1:16:46Speaker 02

  Chester?

• 1:16:46Sam Morril?

  Chester Arthur? I mean, Garfield got fucking assassinated, so I don't know. Like, he's, I mean.

• 1:16:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't know that story at all.

• 1:16:52Sam Morril?

  Well, he was assassinated, but he didn't die from the bullet wound. He died from the doctor not washing his fucking hands.

• 1:16:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, I never washed my hands.

• 1:17:00Sam Morril?

  He's like the reason, he's the reason doctors wash their hands is, is, uh, Garfield.

• 1:17:05Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 1:17:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there we go.

• 1:17:07Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:17:10Speaker 00

  There's a guy at Sirius XM. I was in the bathroom and I washing my hands after using the urine. All those guy in the stall and washing my hands, doing the whole thing. Get the, you know, it's serious. You can, they have the garbage can right by the door. So you can take the paper towel, open the door with it. And, and this guy bops out of the stall and just, thank you. And like went right past me.

• 1:17:32Mark Normand?

  He poppy'd you.

• 1:17:33Speaker 00

  I was like, no, like thinking like, no, no shame, no.

• 1:17:36Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:17:37Speaker 00

  Dude, you just came right from the stall.

• 1:17:40Mark Normand?

  Wow. Doesn't he know everyone there has a radio show? They can just talk about that employee?

• 1:17:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:46Mark Normand?

  That's crazy. I see that at the airport a lot.

• 1:17:48Speaker 02

  I see it at the Comedy Cellar.

• 1:17:50Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  I've heard, I've heard about ladies and men and I hear about it from the men's room and.

• 1:17:57Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  Keeping my mouth closed.

• 1:17:59Speaker 03

  As long as they only work around the food. I don't care.

• 1:18:04Speaker 03

  As long as I don't touch the mic.

• 1:18:07Speaker 00

  Is the game gonna be on at the Sony?

• 1:18:09Speaker 02

  Yes, of course it is. Of course.

• 1:18:11Speaker 00

  I think that's where I'm gonna watch it. Are you gonna be there?

• 1:18:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. Fiore and I, like, Andy Fiore and I need to watch this game together because every time it's been a pivotal game, we've watched it together and they've won.

• 1:18:23Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:18:24Speaker 03

  Fiore's hardcore. He's, he's got the, he's got the Rangers.

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  We need to come in and just watch it on a phone and just focus in. We broke a table and glasses when they won the ALCS, so.

• 1:18:36Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:18:36Speaker 03

  Fiore is such a nice guy and it's a waste of those giant hands. Those hands should be around people's throats.

• 1:18:46Speaker 02

  He does have a bouncer type of like, I will kill you.

• 1:18:51Speaker 03

  He'd be a beast. His father's really like 90.

• 1:18:54Mark Normand?

  Old.

• 1:18:54Speaker 03

  But he was a World War II veteran.

• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, his father was.

• 1:18:57Speaker 03

  I think he won a D-Day.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  He lived for like a hundred or something, right? Yeah. He, he died during COVID. His father was also like one of those old school Guineas that like he'd go to the dentist and be like, I don't want the Novocain.

• 1:19:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:19:10Speaker 02

  And do root canals without Novocain. Just like hardcore ginseng.

• 1:19:15Speaker 00

  Andy works with me on the road and he always gets mad because I don't like to eat after. The show. Cause I'm always like, that's the worst time to eat.

• 1:19:23Speaker 02

  It's so late, I'm Tom Papa.

• 1:19:25Speaker 00

  It's like this grisly bear going, what? I need food.

• 1:19:29Sam Morril?

  If it's just one show you won't eat?

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  One show, one show.

• 1:19:32Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  One show, Tom's like, oh, my window is closed.

• 1:19:39Speaker 00

  It's really true.

• 1:19:40Mark Normand?

  One time, uh, Fiori walked through.

• 1:19:42Speaker 00

  I used to be tough.

• 1:19:43Mark Normand?

  One time Fiori walked through the cellar, you know, and David Tell was on stage, he was going to the bathroom and Dave goes, oh, hipster Santa.

• 1:19:53Mark Normand?

  He's got the white beard, the white hair.

• 1:19:55Sam Morril?

  Damn, that's so good.

• 1:19:57Speaker 00

  It's a good one.

• 1:19:58Sam Morril?

  You gotta put up a photo of him while we're.

• 1:19:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  I mean, he's just a huge lug of a human being.

• 1:20:02Mark Normand?

  Big old white hair.

• 1:20:04Speaker 03

  He's a love of a lug.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  Fucking Fiori.

• 1:20:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we thought he was from Buffalo for some reason. He just looks like he's from Buffalo.

• 1:20:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, Jersey. He comes from Clifton. He knew the, he Mario's Pizza era.

• 1:20:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Good upbringing out there. Seems like white picket fence and, uh.

• 1:20:18Speaker 00

  My parents fell in love in Clifton as high schoolers.

• 1:20:20Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:20:21Speaker 03

  The best town I was at the other night, I can't believe I never was in this town my whole life, was, um, Rutherford.

• 1:20:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:28Speaker 03

  It's right by the bridge. It's the most beautiful town I've ever seen.

• 1:20:31Speaker 00

  That was my first apartment as a baby. I never, I never saw it.

• 1:20:35Speaker 02

  He just comes back. Hi, Gizmo.

• 1:20:38Speaker 00

  How old is Gizmo?

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  Gizmo's twelve and a half.

• 1:20:41Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:20:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:42Speaker 00

  No winning. Frank is, uh, Frank's like six and a half and they look the same.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:47Mark Normand?

  That's a healthy pooch.

• 1:20:49Speaker 00

  That is a healthy pooch.

• 1:20:50Speaker 02

  I think he was twenty nine pounds today or twenty eight point six pounds today at the vet.

• 1:20:55Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:20:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's a little fucker.

• 1:20:57Speaker 00

  Is he a little arthritic? He seems like he's.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  He, uh, well, we, yes, he has osteoarthritis and we use LaBrella, which is for everyone or anyone listening. It's amazing if your dog has arthritis. It really is fucking changes life. It's a shot. He gets a shot every month and it like game changer.

• 1:21:16Speaker 00

  My cat could use that, I think.

• 1:21:17Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 1:21:17Mark Normand?

  I think Keith dated her LaBrella.

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  Keith could use some LaBrella.

• 1:21:24Sam Morril?

  Tom used to have a bit about like how you, the bathroom's the only place you have privacy and like, it's like your wife's hand under there, your daughter's hand under there, the, the cat's paw under there.

• 1:21:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, yes.

• 1:21:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember that.

• 1:21:37Mark Normand?

  Well, wait, Tom, uh, special's out, bin out.

• 1:21:40Speaker 00

  Home free.

• 1:21:41Mark Normand?

  And, uh, Collins has got a YouTube puppy cooking.

• 1:21:45Sam Morril?

  Both, two of the best.

• 1:21:46Speaker 00

  What's it called? The election?

• 1:21:47Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:21:48Sam Morril?

  Tea and stamps.

• 1:21:49Mark Normand?

  Confederacy of Dunces.

• 1:21:51Speaker 02

  The election special?

• 1:21:53Sam Morril?

  Stamps and tea.

• 1:21:53Mark Normand?

  That's it.

• 1:21:55Speaker 00

  Stamps and tea.

• 1:21:56Sam Morril?

  Colin Quinn. It's on YouTube.

• 1:21:58Speaker 03

  On YouTube.

• 1:21:58Speaker 02

  Just subscribe to Colin Quinn's YouTube.

• 1:22:01Speaker 03

  By the way, the worst thing about today is Todd Barry's gonna be so happy that he's worth 2.5 and I'm only worth 1.

• 1:22:07Speaker 02

  Don't tell him. Don't. He's not watching. Don't tell him.

• 1:22:11Speaker 00

  It's all fake.

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  Oh, lord.

• 1:22:12Speaker 03

  We'll hear about it. They'll put a clip. They'll put out clips.

• 1:22:15Mark Normand?

  That's a good sign that you're double the time limit. So you're 8,000 versus four hours. That's a good sign.

• 1:22:22Speaker 03

  It is?

• 1:22:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Should be about 1,000 an hour is good. You're double that.

• 1:22:26Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 1:22:26Speaker 00

  Nice. Colin Quinn, the best comedian we have amongst us.

• 1:22:30Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:22:31Speaker 02

  When we started this shit, it was 6,000.

• 1:22:33Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's true.

• 1:22:35Speaker 02

  It was. I saw that.

• 1:22:36Speaker 00

  The most prolific stand-up comedian we have.

• 1:22:38Speaker 03

  Tonight, it's gonna be getting, it's gonna really catch fire tonight.

• 1:22:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, you better believe it.

• 1:22:42Speaker 03

  Halloween, a lot of people stay home. They watch comedy.

• 1:22:45Mark Normand?

  Plus, the election's in the algo. You're all over the algo.

• 1:22:48Speaker 00

  By the time this comes out, the election will be over.

• 1:22:49Mark Normand?

  Nooo. Come on, Yang.

• 1:22:53Speaker 00

  What America will we be living in?

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  Boeing Yang.

• 1:22:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there you go. Home free.

• 1:22:59Speaker 03

  Is Andrew Yang running? No.

• 1:23:01Mark Normand?

  No, I'm joking.

• 1:23:02Speaker 03

  What's his name that's running? Jill Stein?

• 1:23:04Mark Normand?

  Jill Stein and Marion Williamson.

• 1:23:06Speaker 02

  I did tell someone to write Colin's name in for president.

• 1:23:09Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:23:09Speaker 00

  I've been pushing for Colin to be mayor.

• 1:23:11Speaker 03

  He wouldn't be to be the mayor.

• 1:23:12Speaker 00

  I've been saying that for a long time.

• 1:23:13Mark Normand?

  I like that.

• 1:23:14Speaker 02

  Colin.

• 1:23:15Speaker 00

  He knows every borough, every ethnicity.

• 1:23:17Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:23:18Speaker 00

  And I got the great, the greatest slogan.

• 1:23:19Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:23:20Speaker 00

  Win for the win.

• 1:23:21Mark Normand?

  Nice. But we can have a homophobic mayor?

• 1:23:25Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:23:27Sam Morril?

  Colin could do it.

• 1:23:28Mark Normand?

  You could do it.

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  I'll do it.

• 1:23:30Mark Normand?

  You giving speeches with that voice?

• 1:23:32Speaker 03

  I'll do it.

• 1:23:33Mark Normand?

  The gravel?

• 1:23:33Speaker 03

  And I promise you, people.

• 1:23:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:37Mark Normand?

  From Brooklyn, born and raised.

• 1:23:38Speaker 03

  A new tomorrow.

• 1:23:39Sam Morril?

  When Matty and I made that cartoon, he voiced the mayor.

• 1:23:42Mark Normand?

  You got it all.

• 1:23:43Speaker 03

  A new tomorrow today.

• 1:23:44Speaker 02

  You just walk from your apartment to work. It's like this.

• 1:23:46Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:23:47Speaker 02

  Past Joe's Pizza. You have a life.

• 1:23:50Speaker 03

  I don't even pass Joe's. I literally live a block from you.

• 1:23:53Speaker 02

  I know. That's what I'm saying.

• 1:23:54Speaker 00

  Your rat, your, uh, your way to get rid of the rats.

• 1:23:57Speaker 03

  I was gonna say. Every homeless person twenty dollars a rat.

• 1:24:00Mark Normand?

  Two birds, one homeless.

• 1:24:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  And also, you know.

• 1:24:05Speaker 00

  Wasn't it sticky pad on the avenue after midnight?

• 1:24:07Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right, I forgot my.

• 1:24:08Speaker 02

  And you have your homeless person program.

• 1:24:10Speaker 00

  Roll it up before people go to work.

• 1:24:12Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 1:24:13Speaker 02

  Colin has his whole homeless person program.

• 1:24:15Speaker 03

  Yes, I have homeless, I have all kinds of homeless programs.

• 1:24:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's gonna get rid of homelessness.

• 1:24:19Speaker 03

  I would clear up the homeless problem, definitely.

• 1:24:21Speaker 00

  Oh, you had a homeless train?

• 1:24:22Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:24:23Speaker 03

  Oh, that was another idea I had, yeah.

• 1:24:24Speaker 00

  They have their own car.

• 1:24:26Speaker 02

  No, this one's better.

• 1:24:26Speaker 03

  Their own car and the train, this way they have like a sleep car, and you don't have to deal with them.

• 1:24:30Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 1:24:31Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:24:31Speaker 00

  But dignity.

• 1:24:32Sam Morril?

  You get on that car by accident, though, it's gonna be dicey.

• 1:24:35Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, but it'd be like, it'd be like those old 40's movies where you have the little sleeper cars.

• 1:24:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you label it.

• 1:24:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:41Sam Morril?

  That's actually not bad.

• 1:24:43Speaker 00

  I know, he's got some.

• 1:24:44Speaker 03

  Quinn for the win.

• 1:24:45Speaker 00

  Quinn for the win.

• 1:24:46Speaker 02

  Quinn for the win.

• 1:24:47Speaker 00

  Quinn for the win. Quinn for Quinn. Quinn for the win.

• 1:24:51Speaker 02

  Quinn.

• 1:24:51Speaker 03

  By the way, I like the fact.

• 1:24:53Sam Morril?

  We're officially drunk.

• 1:24:54Speaker 02

  I am done.

• 1:24:55Speaker 03

  My favorite part of the campaign. My favorite part of the campaign so far is Tom Slogan didn't catch on at all.

• 1:25:03Speaker 00

  They all made up their own or their own. I thought mine was so good.

• 1:25:07Speaker 03

  No, it's like Quinn for the win.

• 1:25:09Speaker 00

  Quinn for the win.

• 1:25:13Speaker 03

  Tom Slogan.

• 1:25:14Mark Normand?

  Quinn for the win is already used.

• 1:25:18Speaker 02

  He's ALS, uh, I guess we can't.

• 1:25:21Speaker 00

  Lou Gehrig Disease Institute.

• 1:25:23Speaker 03

  They say Quinn for the win at Lou Gehrig's disease, why?

• 1:25:26Speaker 00

  Why? Boo.

• 1:25:28Mark Normand?

  That guy died.

• 1:25:29Speaker 03

  Pat Quinn.

• 1:25:30Mark Normand?

  There you go, Pat Quinn.

• 1:25:32Speaker 00

  I never liked that guy, dude.

• 1:25:33Speaker 03

  Oh, Tom.

• 1:25:35Sam Morril?

  It's gonna bring up bad memories for that community.

• 1:25:37Speaker 03

  Tom, stop saying it's not your brand.

• 1:25:39Speaker 00

  I'm sorry.

• 1:25:41Speaker 03

  Bring Larry back, here he is.

• 1:25:43Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  Gizmo's just done.

• 1:25:45Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah, watch.

• 1:25:46Speaker 00

  Looks like Gizmo had five martinis.

• 1:25:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:50Sam Morril?

  Where are you guys gonna be on the road?

• 1:25:51Speaker 03

  He's the light like three times.

• 1:25:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you doing road gigs?

• 1:25:54Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:25:55Sam Morril?

  He's pulling them up right now.

• 1:25:56Speaker 03

  Big one's coming up.

• 1:25:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what do you got?

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  Tommy Pops, what's happening?

• 1:25:59Mark Normand?

  You're opening for the sign.

• 1:26:00Speaker 03

  Who wants to promote those dates? We're gonna promote our specials.

• 1:26:03Speaker 00

  Just go to tompapa.com.

• 1:26:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, really.

• 1:26:05Speaker 00

  There'll be new dates posted for the new year.

• 1:26:07Speaker 02

  Look at this, like a little map on there. And you know what? December, what day is it in December?

• 1:26:11Speaker 03

  Oh, no. He's doing it at the cellar.

• 1:26:13Speaker 02

  Come to Papa Live, December 10.

• 1:26:17Speaker 03

  I never told you guys about the time. I demanded they don't use my material on Sirius about a year ago.

• 1:26:22Speaker 02

  And yet.

• 1:26:23Speaker 03

  I said, "Don't use my material, Tom. I'll do your show, big favor."

• 1:26:29Speaker 03

  But don't use it on Sirius." He goes, "We won't." He looked at me like, "That, even asking is an insult."

• 1:26:34Speaker 00

  That's not true.

• 1:26:35Speaker 03

  Cut to Nick DiPaolo calls me. "I like that bit you're doing at New York." I go, "That's the old bit if it's on Sirius." He starts saying the bit. I'm like, "I haven't even put it out yet."

• 1:26:44Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:26:47Speaker 03

  On the new special.

• 1:26:47Sam Morril?

  If DiPaolo messaged me once or two about a bit on Sirius. DiPaolo listens to Sirius.

• 1:26:52Speaker 03

  Yes, he drives around because he misses the comedy scene.

• 1:26:55Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:26:55Speaker 03

  He loved going to that Skank Fest with you guys.

• 1:26:59Mark Normand?

  That was fun.

• 1:26:59Speaker 03

  He loved it.

• 1:27:01Mark Normand?

  We put him on our pod. We had to delete the app.

• 1:27:06Sam Morril?

  Nancy Pelosi's up.

• 1:27:09Speaker 02

  Have you guys never had DiPaolo on here?

• 1:27:12Sam Morril?

  We would.

• 1:27:13Mark Normand?

  No, he just doesn't live here.

• 1:27:14Speaker 00

  He doesn't, he's down in Savannah.

• 1:27:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I understand that, but like, when he's in town, come on.

• 1:27:19Mark Normand?

  I would have, I would have.

• 1:27:20Speaker 00

  He's ever coming back.

• 1:27:21Speaker 02

  He was here for Colin's wedding.

• 1:27:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:23Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  Yes, that was a while ago.

• 1:27:26Sam Morril?

  Stay in hope of DiPaolo or two weeks.

• 1:27:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Does Nick drink?

• 1:27:31Speaker 00

  He's so funny.

• 1:27:31Speaker 02

  Doers, Doers on the Rocks. I remember that.

• 1:27:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:27:35Speaker 02

  Yep, Doers on the Rocks.

• 1:27:36Speaker 03

  He gets Mellow when he drinks.

• 1:27:37Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:27:38Speaker 02

  He's so much fun.

• 1:27:40Sam Morril?

  It's weird to picture a Mellow DiPaolo.

• 1:27:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I would say, well, Mellow for him.

• 1:27:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Sam Morril?

  My favorite DiPaolo story is that Hedberg joke, you know?

• 1:27:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:27:49Speaker 03

  I was on the phone with him.

• 1:27:50Sam Morril?

  That's fucking funny.

• 1:27:51Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:27:52Speaker 03

  I was on the phone with him, and he goes, "This guy next to me, I'm gonna go over there and kick the shit out of him. You hear him banging on the fucking wall? You hear this fucking guy banging on him? You know, he's banging on the wall for the guy. You hear the fucking music? Playing, yeah. And he's banging on the wall. He goes, I'm gonna kick this guy's ass. Fucking playing music too loud.

• 1:28:06Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:28:07Speaker 03

  Whatever Mitch Hedberg would listen to in the early nineties.

• 1:28:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:10Speaker 03

  You tell me.

• 1:28:11Mark Normand?

  Blind Melon.

• 1:28:14Sam Morril?

  But then he ended up liking it.

• 1:28:15Speaker 03

  Tap into the door. He goes next door and he goes, and then he called me, he goes, the guy's really good. He's a cool guy. He's funny. I saw him in Letterman or something. He was really, uh.

• 1:28:25Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:28:26Speaker 03

  Funny. He's a comedian. What are the odds of that?

• 1:28:28Mark Normand?

  Wow. That is crazy.

• 1:28:30Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 1:28:31Mark Normand?

  Well, Seinfeld said Nick gave him the best tag he's ever gotten in all of comedy history.

• 1:28:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:28:36Mark Normand?

  The funeral joke. He said on your pod, he's the one where Seinfeld says, uh, public speaking is the number one fear. Number two is death.

• 1:28:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:28:45Mark Normand?

  Something, something, something. And then Nick goes, you should say, that means at a funeral, you'd rather be in the box than giving the eulogy.

• 1:28:50Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:28:50Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:28:51Mark Normand?

  Something like that.

• 1:28:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:28:53Mark Normand?

  Ah, never works.

• 1:28:54Speaker 03

  Ah, come on.

• 1:28:55Sam Morril?

  Colin Quinn in Ann Arbor, Michigan, November 7th.

• 1:28:59Speaker 03

  He was be out before November 7th? I doubt it.

• 1:29:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, he really should move it up.

• 1:29:02Speaker 03

  You guys is editing process.

• 1:29:05Speaker 02

  You know what? No one cares about Ari.

• 1:29:07Sam Morril?

  New Jersey, November 29th, he's in, uh.

• 1:29:10Speaker 02

  If you could just go to ColinQuinn.com or really subscribe to his YouTube page.

• 1:29:15Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:29:16Speaker 02

  He's so active on YouTube.

• 1:29:17Mark Normand?

  Yes, too active.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  He has all this shit. Like he does the block by block. He has, he's.

• 1:29:22Speaker 03

  Cop show's up there.

• 1:29:23Speaker 02

  Cop show is on there. His Instagram. There's also a cop show TikTok. If you want to go to TikTok, you could see a lot of cop show there.

• 1:29:32Speaker 03

  Thanks, man.

• 1:29:33Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 1:29:34Speaker 03

  Tom, you're stuck in the, you're stuck in the, uh, 2010s.

• 1:29:37Speaker 00

  I just like seeing you on MySpace.

• 1:29:39Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 1:29:42Speaker 00

  I like what I like.

• 1:29:43Mark Normand?

  Enough with the bread, Tom.

• 1:29:45Speaker 02

  Tom Papa is making bread. Best bread I've ever had.

• 1:29:48Mark Normand?

  It's a great bread.

• 1:29:49Speaker 02

  And he's on Netflix radio every single day with Fortune Feimster and you can find him on, uh, TomPapa.com.

• 1:29:58Mark Normand?

  He's like a publicist.

• 1:29:58Speaker 02

  He's also gonna be at the Comedy Cellar December 10th for.

• 1:30:02Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:30:03Speaker 02

  Come to Papa Live.

• 1:30:04Speaker 03

  Christmas edition.

• 1:30:05Speaker 02

  Where, Christmas edition where he'll sing and it'll be annoying and I'll hate it, but it'll be great.

• 1:30:10Speaker 03

  What are you gonna sing?

• 1:30:11Speaker 02

  He sings every fucking time. Sing the song, Colin. Sing the song. Sing it. Colin, Colin knows the song.

• 1:30:18Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:30:18Speaker 02

  Colin knows it.

• 1:30:19Speaker 00

  I like New York and June. How about you?

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  And there it is. But it's still better.

• 1:30:25Speaker 00

  Where do we go to get Colin Quinn's, uh, um, movie rec?

• 1:30:28Speaker 03

  Power Fan, yeah.

• 1:30:30Speaker 02

  We go to YouTube and that's the criteria.

• 1:30:32Sam Morril?

  Matt's got his work cut out.

• 1:30:33Speaker 03

  I don't sell merch from the 70s, we sell paraphernalia.

• 1:30:38Speaker 00

  Well, this is great. Thanks, guys.

• 1:30:39Speaker 03

  Wait, what about their dates?

• 1:30:40Speaker 02

  No one cares about that.

• 1:30:42Sam Morril?

  February, I got Charlotte, Richmond, Philly, DC, Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston. It goes on and on.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  We get it, Sam. We get it.

• 1:30:50Speaker 03

  The one is worth four minutes.

• 1:30:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'm doing a bus the whole run.

• 1:30:53Speaker 02

  He's doing a bus. Him, Gary Vayner, it's gonna be smelly and disgusting.

• 1:30:57Speaker 03

  You're really going out like a beast, huh?

• 1:30:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah. We're going out, I'm going to, I'm going to your city, basically, and if I'm not, I'll be on the phone.

• 1:31:03Speaker 03

  You're not playing games.

• 1:31:04Speaker 02

  Oh, you're doing Stand Up Live with Branson. Oh, that makes me happy.

• 1:31:07Speaker 03

  Where?

• 1:31:07Speaker 02

  I wanna go.

• 1:31:08Speaker 03

  Branson?

• 1:31:08Speaker 02

  Stand Up Live in Phoenix with Brandon.

• 1:31:11Sam Morril?

  That's a bus run, but we're starting there and it's gonna be great. Samrow.com/shows or punchup.live/standuplive.

• 1:31:18Speaker 03

  I'm embarrassed to say Mark Normand's dates are only like three days.

• 1:31:20Speaker 02

  I know, ready? Norman?

• 1:31:21Mark Normand?

  Wow, we like to work.

• 1:31:22Speaker 03

  Taking it too light.

• 1:31:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah. I'll be in NOLA, East Providence, The Comedy Connection. We're going back to clubs, Wilkes-Barre, Inglewood, Houston, Phoenix, Dallas.

• 1:31:32Speaker 02

  Stand Up Live!

• 1:31:33Mark Normand?

  And Nashville at the Ryman, baby. Grand Old Opry.

• 1:31:36Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 1:31:37Speaker 02

  That's fucking awesome. Are you gonna film that?

• 1:31:40Mark Normand?

  Maybe I will.

• 1:31:41Speaker 02

  That's fucking awesome, man. The Ryman, come on, man.

• 1:31:44Speaker 03

  It's gonna be an hour, just going to say, just open by going, "Fuck Nate Pogacic."

• 1:31:50Speaker 03

  The crowd'll be like, "Whoa."

• 1:31:52Mark Normand?

  Well, that's gonna be weird, because he's gonna do a guest set.

• 1:31:53Speaker 02

  No, he's opening. That's an amazing fucking venue. That's awesome.

• 1:31:57Mark Normand?

  Hey, thank you. Good publicist. Can I answer to Tony Hinchcliffe?

• 1:32:01Speaker 00

  If you complete this tour, you may edge out Todd Barry by the end of the year.

• 1:32:06Mark Normand?

  Come on!

• 1:32:07Sam Morril?

  Bodega Cat Whiskey.com for Bodega Cat. We're moving. We're at Peter Luger's right now. We're at Strip House.

• 1:32:13Speaker 00

  Whoa! Strip House. That's my favorite.

• 1:32:16Mark Normand?

  Cellar, the other clubs that we won't name.

• 1:32:19Speaker 02

  Thank you, we won't.

• 1:32:20Sam Morril?

  We're cruising with stuff. The Comedy Cellar, we love you for pairing this. We love you, Liz.

• 1:32:24Mark Normand?

  We're at Danger Wheels.

• 1:32:25Sam Morril?

  We got a neon light going up there at The Comedy Cellar in the fat black, too. That's gonna be sick.

• 1:32:29Mark Normand?

  Yes, that's right.

• 1:32:30Sam Morril?

  Come see, uh, come get a drink.

• 1:32:31Speaker 02

  I'm also wearing your merch.

• 1:32:33Sam Morril?

  I love it.

• 1:32:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a good color on you.

• 1:32:36Speaker 02

  Because it hides the dog hair.

• 1:32:38Speaker 00

  Ah, smart.

• 1:32:39Mark Normand?

  Ah, the dog hair.

• 1:32:40Sam Morril?

  We love you, guys.

• 1:32:41Speaker 02

  Gizmo.

• 1:32:42Speaker 03

  Did you give out, did you give out free hoodies to all the guests today?

• 1:32:45Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:32:47Sam Morril?

  We were supposed to get some firsts. It's coming for you guys.

• 1:32:49Mark Normand?

  They forgot it.

• 1:32:50Sam Morril?

  We love you. Thanks for listening.

• 1:32:51Speaker 03

  Famous last words.

• 1:32:54Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Good night. Keep drinking.

• 1:32:57Speaker 06

  Sunday's the day for my next offender. A bit of Pivac, you know the future's close. I've had a little too much bourbon and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope. And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like the cops are coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way. We might be true.