Rick Glassman & The Spotlight

Actor and comedian Rick Glassman returns and is on the loose. We chat uncomfortable truths, beautifully unnecessary arguments, spontaneous spoken word, epath, Hello Kitty, churro pee, and the spotlight guy. There’s a reason BlueChew is the #1 brand for better sex. Experience it yourself at www.bluechew.com http://www.bluechew.com. Promo code BELLY. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:43Speaker 00

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• 1:00Speaker 01

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• 1:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay. I want to help help.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  Well, why don't you start by zipping it up and I think let's talk for a little bit.

• 1:38Speaker 03

  Shut up. I'm asking you a question and instead of even thinking about what I'm asking you, you're not even listening to me right now. You put the microphone back. Hold on.

• 1:47Bobby Lee?

  You didn't think us for lunch.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  Hey, just relax, man.

• 1:51Bobby Lee?

  For lunch?

• 1:52Speaker 03

  Are you nervous? Are you scared? What are you feeling? Cause I didn't realize that this was real until I started this a couple of minutes ago. And I realized, oh, we're making jokes and stuff and like, there's something going on. Breathe.

• 2:07Speaker 04

  Thank you for lunch. It's very good.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Hey, funny.

• 2:14Bobby Lee?

  We're on Spotify video. Hey, Tiger Belly video now available to watch on Spotify, everybody. Spotify premium users get fewer ads and more eyes.

• 2:26Speaker 05

  We love fewer ads.

• 2:27Bobby Lee?

  And more eyes.

• 2:28Speaker 05

  We love more eyes.

• 2:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Get the third eye.

• 2:31Speaker 05

  Fourth.

• 2:32Bobby Lee?

  More of them watch videos and watch it.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Hi Bobby.

• 3:01Bobby Lee?

  How are you?

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Good thanks, how are you?

• 3:03Bobby Lee?

  Good pal.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Ken, nice to meet you.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  I'm a little sarcastic sometimes. My intention is play and that's not to make any excuses, but I think everything's in focus because, well, you're the sharpest thing I've ever seen.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Oh, Jesus, I got confused. I thought Bobby had a glow up. Both of them? We're gonna use both of them?

• 3:34Speaker 03

  So Diet Coke is back in, I've noticed. Diet Coke and boobs are back in the zeitgeist.

• 3:39Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  And cigarettes.

• 3:40Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Don't get me started.

• 3:43Bobby Lee?

  Do, do, do, do, do. Okay, good.

• 3:46Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Oh, Bobby's starting the episode with "I."

• 3:52Bobby Lee?

  It's a good one. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Anyway. I've never been able to roll my tongues.

• 3:57Speaker 05

  Really?

• 3:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  How many? None of them?

• 4:00Bobby Lee?

  None of them, yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 05

  All the tongues.

• 4:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:05Bobby Lee?

  I have a fat Korean, North Korean tongue. No, you don't like it?

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Ken, not.

• 4:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I don't have, who's Ken?

• 4:13Speaker 03

  Oh, your editor.

• 4:14Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 04

  Cut that out?

• 4:17Speaker 03

  You're passed.

• 4:17Bobby Lee?

  That's right. That's right, yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 05

  Bobby, can you whistle?

• 4:23Bobby Lee?

  Wait.

• 4:27Bobby Lee?

  Everyone whistle.

• 4:28Speaker 05

  I can't, I can't do it.

• 4:31Bobby Lee?

  Can you whistle?

• 4:34Bobby Lee?

  He won't do it. All right, how about, that's really good. You wanna do a competition, how long we can go?

• 4:39Speaker 05

  I can't, okay. Our big dogs.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  This isn't great for the audio listeners.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  It's terrible content.

• 4:45Bobby Lee?

  Put on some misometrics. It's terrible content, yeah.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Maybe edit it out since Bobby came in and then we could do it again.

• 4:52Bobby Lee?

  You want me to start over?

• 4:53Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay, I would. I could just put those, okay.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  Welcome back to another episode of Tiger Belly. This week's sponsors are...

• 5:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Hello Kitty. No, kidding, I don't know.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Good, thanks. I'd like us to have our headphones on, at least for a little.

• 5:07Bobby Lee?

  Can you do that again? Cause I wanna cut that part out.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  Which part?

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  This, this, that whole thing. Cause Hello Kitty wasn't funny.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 5:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Well, you don't have to cut out everything. You could just cut out the Hello Kitty part and you could just do your pickup.

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, let's pick it up.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Welcome back to another episode of Tiger Belly. This week's sponsors are...

• 5:23Bobby Lee?

  Cabbages.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  Funny.

• 5:25Speaker 05

  Yummy.

• 5:25Bobby Lee?

  Funnyer. That's not funnier?

• 5:27Speaker 05

  Fermented.

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  So...

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Welcome back.

• 5:33Bobby Lee?

  Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Can I, this is my show?

• 5:37Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 5:38Bobby Lee?

  May I do the introductions? If I may? Okay.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Say "may" a few more.

• 5:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 5:43Speaker 05

  May.

• 5:44Bobby Lee?

  Mayflower.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  June, July.

• 5:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. We have Catbird in the house. Give her a round of applause.

• 5:52Bobby Lee?

  Comics Unleashed.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  Oh, yes, I got asked back. Did I tell you that?

• 5:55Bobby Lee?

  Are you gonna do it?

• 5:55Speaker 05

  No, I don't think so.

• 5:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  Oh, somebody just put their collar on, huh?

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  And apparently, you know what I mean? UTA signed you. Give her a round of applause for that. In the big leagues.

• 6:07Speaker 05

  All right.

• 6:08Bobby Lee?

  You passed yet?

• 6:09Speaker 05

  Huh?

• 6:09Bobby Lee?

  At the store?

• 6:10Speaker 05

  I'm not, no.

• 6:10Bobby Lee?

  You know, you will be, clap for that.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  I just wanna say that I said somebody got her collar on. And in case that's not understood, I was just teeing up for a comics leashed. I meant nothing about you being a woman or a man.

• 6:21Speaker 04

  I was...

• 6:22Speaker 03

  I never even got that joke. Yeah, I didn't associate it with it, yeah.

• 6:25Speaker 05

  But now I feel a little bit uncomfortable because of that.

• 6:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Oh, so in other words, you're comics leashed.

• 6:33Speaker 05

  Bang it out.

• 6:34Bobby Lee?

  Laugh at her act, please. Thank you. We have Luke from Comics Unleashed.

• 6:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, assistant, you should be assistant at...

• 6:43Speaker 04

  Correct.

• 6:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  I was not asked back to Comics Unleashed.

• 6:47Bobby Lee?

  You were not asked back, yeah. But you got on it and that's a good thing.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Rick Glassman is...

• 6:52Speaker 03

  I have not yet done it, but I am trying.

• 6:56Bobby Lee?

  Do you wanna do it?

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Comics Unleashed?

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 03

  Since I was a little boy.

• 7:02Bobby Lee?

  I think you'd be great on it.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  I wanna be on it and I wanna this, I wanna have a joke about like Diet Pepsi. Teed me up for my Diet Pepsi joke.

• 7:09Bobby Lee?

  Well, well, well, welcome to the Comics Unleashed. I'm Byron Allen.

• 7:16Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 7:16Speaker 04

  It looks good.

• 7:17Bobby Lee?

  It's a good impression.

• 7:18Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 7:19Bobby Lee?

  Hello, hello. Check out the weather channel.

• 7:22Speaker 05

  Applause, applause.

• 7:22Bobby Lee?

  Applause, applause, applause, applause. Oh, we got Rick Glassman here.

• 7:27Speaker 05

  In group, oh, I mean, sorry.

• 7:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Wow, wow, give him a round of applause.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Thanks, Byron. I've been wanting to be on this show, Byron, I've been wanting to be on the show. I was thought, no, I've been doing this with Trump's kid.

• 7:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  I've been wanting to get on the show for a while.

• 7:39Bobby Lee?

  So you like Diet Coke?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  You know, it's funny that you bring that up. So...

• 7:46Speaker 03

  You know what, Byron?

• 7:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:48Speaker 05

  Byron.

• 7:48Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 7:49Speaker 05

  Byron.

• 7:49Bobby Lee?

  Yes, Rick.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Are you a vampire?

• 7:53Speaker 04

  I want to drink your glass.

• 7:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Rick, Rick. Tell me more.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  I don't think I wanna talk to you about Diet Coke.

• 7:58Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 7:59Bobby Lee?

  Well, let me, can you cut the cameras?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  This is part of my act.

• 8:04Bobby Lee?

  We emailed you the joke. You know what I mean? I tee you up.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  This is...

• 8:08Bobby Lee?

  I...

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Can you read the emails I send back?

• 8:10Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying is, this is how the work, this, this, this works. Okay, so I'm going to tee you up.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  You mean leash me up?

• 8:17Bobby Lee?

  You mean leash me up? It ain't comics leashed. Can we? Comics leashed? Hello? You might as well watch Premium Blend.

• 8:26Speaker 05

  Jodie Miller comes in.

• 8:27Bobby Lee?

  That's a good show, I did that show.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  It is a great show.

• 8:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so fuck off.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Why?

• 8:31Bobby Lee?

  I was on that show.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  It was a great show.

• 8:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay, thank you.

• 8:36Speaker 05

  Applause, applause.

• 8:36Bobby Lee?

  Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  I think that's where I learned about Greg Giraldo.

• 8:40Bobby Lee?

  Tell me about Diet Coke.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  And that's where I...

• 8:42Bobby Lee?

  You've been drinking a lot of Diet Pepsi.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Where I learned about Dane Cook.

• 8:45Bobby Lee?

  Do the joke.

• 8:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay, the bit's over.

• 8:48Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 8:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  God, it's like a, you set up the bit and you didn't let me do it.

• 8:52Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I did it. I did do it.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  No, no, you didn't. You became crazy vampire Byron Allen and you went all over the place. You weren't even looking at me when you were talking.

• 9:03Speaker 05

  That's what Byron...

• 9:03Bobby Lee?

  I'm looking at the camera. This is my show.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  And that's the problem.

• 9:08Bobby Lee?

  Okay. That's not a problem, don't point at me. Okay, so let's, let me do it right.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Bobby.

• 9:13Bobby Lee?

  Talk about Diet Pepsi.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Bobby, it's done, dude. That's the cost of the choices you made.

• 9:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'm sorry. We have other comics.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  You're supposed to say "me so."

• 9:24Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 9:25Speaker 03

  Nothing.

• 9:25Speaker 05

  "Me so horny."

• 9:26Bobby Lee?

  "Me so horny." Me, is that a song?

• 9:30Speaker 04

  It's from a movie, I think.

• 9:31Speaker 05

  "Me so horny."

• 9:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 05

  I think Beastie Boys, right? Oh, okay.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  "To Live Crow." Yeah, "Me so horny." Yeah, anyway, you're still high.

• 9:40Bobby Lee?

  You're still.

• 9:43Bobby Lee?

  You know, you came in with high energy, you're a little high.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  I'm mellow, dude.

• 9:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you know, don't tell me, don't tell me that you came here and it's phased out.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, but do you not know how trouble Faison is in right now?

• 9:56Bobby Lee?

  I know. Faison's in a lot of...

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Well, unless we're talking about the remake of, the remake of Scrubs.

• 10:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:03Speaker 03

  And we're talking about Donald Faison.

• 10:05Bobby Lee?

  Ah, right.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Which is what you say when Zach Braff, the doctor, wants to check your throat.

• 10:11Bobby Lee?

  I don't even get that.

• 10:14Bobby Lee?

  Good.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  So I've been working more on that kinda comedy.

• 10:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Faison stuff.

• 10:19Bobby Lee?

  It's pretty good. So Faison, love is in trouble, is what you're saying.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  I saw something about that recently and what a talent that man is.

• 10:25Bobby Lee?

  He's an old friend, he's a San Diego guy. I love that guy a lot.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  Bring him over, have him be a co-host.

• 10:29Bobby Lee?

  I would love to have him on.

• 10:30Speaker 04

  What trouble, what, what's the trouble?

• 10:32Bobby Lee?

  I don't know. But I saw him in a jumpsuit.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 10:35Bobby Lee?

  Right? Was he in a jumpsuit?

• 10:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, yeah. And by trouble, you mean his fashion sense on the carpet?

• 10:41Speaker 04

  Right.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Keep it in?

• 10:44Speaker 03

  Whatever, man. I don't wanna not be able to take swings.

• 10:47Speaker 05

  You gotta take them.

• 10:47Bobby Lee?

  You gotta, I've, I've been missing.

• 10:49Speaker 05

  No.

• 10:50Bobby Lee?

  Since we've started, I've missed.

• 10:51Speaker 05

  No, you haven't.

• 10:51Bobby Lee?

  I haven't?

• 10:52Speaker 05

  I don't think so.

• 10:53Bobby Lee?

  I mean, I think the whole vampire Byron Allen thing was... I don't think that worked.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  People will be talking about it.

• 10:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  I mean, Hello Kitty maybe, but other than that...

• 11:00Bobby Lee?

  Well, we're gonna cut that.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  Cut that also.

• 11:02Bobby Lee?

  We're gonna put in cabbage, right?

• 11:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, the cabbage, that was fun.

• 11:05Speaker 04

  Take it again? Use cabbage?

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  We're keeping cabbage, but anyway.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Which could be the name of this episode when somebody says, "Did you see it and how was it?" And you go, "K, bad."

• 11:14Speaker 05

  K-bad.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Take it out.

• 11:15Speaker 05

  Like garbage?

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Take it out.

• 11:16Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Take it out. Take it out. I can't miss like that.

• 11:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  Take it out.

• 11:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good dude.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  But like I've been working a lot more on Faison kind of stuff.

• 11:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I get it. I get it. Yeah. You've been doing.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  I've been taking myself more seriously.

• 11:33Bobby Lee?

  In what way?

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Not farting around as many CEOs, if you know what I mean.

• 11:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're not chasing that Hollywood jam.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Oh, I was never chasing the Hollywood jam.

• 11:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you were.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  No, I was farting around CEOs. What does chasing Hollywood jam mean?

• 11:49Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, you were like auditioning a lot, getting shows.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Dude, I've had, I've had maybe thirty auditions since I moved here.

• 11:56Speaker 05

  That seems like a lot.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Eighteen years?

• 11:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But you, your track record, you got, you booked, the first audition you ever went on, you booked.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Well, I just so happened to have been able to show them that I was able to take direction. I don't know. It was funny enough.

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  You prepared?

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got lucky.

• 12:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's, no, then the second one you auditioned for, you got.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Hey, man, people hit two home runs in a row, doesn't mean that they're Barry Bonds.

• 12:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, it does.

• 12:21Bobby Lee?

  Shohei Ohtani.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  Hey, man.

• 12:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  So I'm either black or Asian, right?

• 12:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  Where, what am I, what about, when you say Mark McGuire, you think, oh, he's cheating. Barry Bonds, you don't think that because he's so good, even if he was.

• 12:32Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  I love Barry Bonds. I know so much.

• 12:35Bobby Lee?

  I've never heard of Barry Bonds explained.

• 12:37Speaker 05

  He's the San Francisco Giant. He's like, plays.

• 12:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he's big. Like a Cyclops or something?

• 12:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, like an Odyssey.

• 12:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, like an Odyssey?

• 12:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. He played.

• 12:45Bobby Lee?

  Because we just saw it, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, don't do that.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go facelift.

• 12:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, don't do that. In front of me, bud.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Well, I can, I could, you're not allowed to.

• 12:53Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna do two. I have a headache. I have a headache. Oh.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  I, I was, I was thinking about.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  haunted house.

• 13:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:02Speaker 04

  A guy who like can't, you know, you're like, you're trying to read like Chinese or something and you can't figure it out. And then he like does the thing with his eyes. Then it's like Percy Jackson style. You can all of a sudden read it. It's like perfect English afterwards.

• 13:12Bobby Lee?

  Who does?

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Keep it in.

• 13:12Speaker 04

  That'd be cool.

• 13:13Bobby Lee?

  Who does it?

• 13:14Speaker 04

  Uh, just like a guy. It'd be cool if there was like a guy.

• 13:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that'd be cool. That'd be cool. There's a guy that could go back into the future too.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  That's a movie. That's a good movie.

• 13:21Bobby Lee?

  Be cool if I could fly.

• 13:22Speaker 04

  My thing could be a movie.

• 13:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 04

  Of a guy, he could, he could understand the Chinese runes and stuff, but he has to go like that with his eyes and people get mad.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Why not just get a Chinese guy or someone who's, who reads it?

• 13:32Speaker 04

  Well, it's like, he has to do it. He's the chosen one.

• 13:35Bobby Lee?

  I mean, when he's doing that, is he seeing, like, if he sees a Chinese letter and he's doing this, right, he sees more like.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  He can understand it.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  You know, when you're trying to see far away, you go like this?

• 13:45Speaker 03

  That's what I thought.

• 13:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so that's not a cool power.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  It's like that.

• 13:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  That is a very.

• 13:49Bobby Lee?

  Or go to class.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  No, but he's got.

• 13:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, learn how to.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  He's fighting crime. He can't be in class.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  What's his ethnicity?

• 13:55Speaker 04

  White, probably white or, I guess it could be black.

• 13:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  Black or white, probably. Not Asian. Has to be not Asian.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't like to, listen, I know, I'm not worried about getting canceled, but like, I am being honest, I don't, you guys are talking a lot about race and stuff and I just, I'm sorry, but like, I think unless we have people here that could speak on the, the plight of the.

• 14:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, can you turn that off?

• 14:17Speaker 03

  The black guy or the Chinese guy or whatever.

• 14:20Speaker 05

  I guess Mexican would also be an option.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter. It doesn't.

• 14:24Speaker 05

  I don't know why we didn't.

• 14:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Let's try and do an episode where we're not just being edgy.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Okay, let's start.

• 14:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we, I wasn't.

• 14:31Speaker 05

  Just because you say.

• 14:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, just because you say Mexican, not being edgy.

• 14:34Speaker 04

  You did the Chinese eyes. You pulled your eyes back.

• 14:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're the one that pulled your eyes back and looked right at me.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Unless you say food.

• 14:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  You're trying to be edgy. If you just say Mexican.

• 14:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  And you're talking about the culture.

• 14:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:48Speaker 05

  How about Coke, Mexican Coke?

• 14:49Bobby Lee?

  How about frijoles?

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Fine.

• 14:50Bobby Lee?

  Can I say frijole?

• 14:51Speaker 05

  Mexican frijole.

• 14:52Speaker 03

  All right, holy in prison?

• 14:55Speaker 03

  Why don't we get started?

• 14:57Bobby Lee?

  Let's start, let's start with the big.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  My fault.

• 14:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:59Bobby Lee?

  Hey, welcome to Comics Unleashed. I'm Byron Allen.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  And you don't have to be intimidated by me. Listen, I'm not gonna pull it out here.

• 15:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let me ask you something. Do you look to Rick like he's an old school guy?

• 15:14Speaker 03

  We're probably the closest to age. How old are you?

• 15:15Speaker 04

  You're like an elder professional comedian. Yeah.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:21Speaker 04

  Far above me, yeah.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Well.

• 15:23Bobby Lee?

  Way far above.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  How old are you?

• 15:24Speaker 04

  Twenty-five.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  You're five years older than you.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  That makes me.

• 15:27Bobby Lee?

  You're not thirty.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  I just turned thirty. I don't.

• 15:29Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 15:30Speaker 03

  I turned thirty last week.

• 15:31Bobby Lee?

  There's no way you're thirty.

• 15:34Bobby Lee?

  That's impossible. So I knew you when you were eight.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  What?

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Ninety-six.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  What year did you graduate high school?

• 15:42Speaker 03

  I didn't.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  I didn't graduate high school.

• 15:46Speaker 04

  Okay, sorry. That's nothing to laugh.

• 15:48Bobby Lee?

  That is a fact.

• 15:48Speaker 04

  That's nothing to laugh about.

• 15:49Bobby Lee?

  He didn't go to elementary school or middle school or high school.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  No, I went to high school. I left in twenty-ten.

• 15:55Bobby Lee?

  In twenty-ten?

• 15:55Speaker 03

  I, I was.

• 15:56Speaker 05

  Oh, we are the same gr- you left high school in twenty-ten?

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:59Bobby Lee?

  And then what year did you get the first sitcom?

• 16:03Speaker 03

  I mean, it feels like.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 16:08Bobby Lee?

  I'm trying to do the math here.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  I really don't.

• 16:10Bobby Lee?

  Eighteen, right? Twenty-ten. Okay?

• 16:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's right.

• 16:13Bobby Lee?

  So you got your first sitcom at what?

• 16:15Speaker 03

  It was in my, I don't remember.

• 16:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so you, you were twenty-one?

• 16:19Speaker 03

  No, I don't even think I was twenty-one.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  I think I was, I think I was eighteen.

• 16:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you were eighteen when you got.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Because I left, I.

• 16:26Bobby Lee?

  Because I think you had a nightclub.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  I left high school, uh, to bleep where he, where he said he met me. I had a fake, bleep that. I met, uh, I left.

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

  Crazy.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  I left.

• 16:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so you had a.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  I left in high school to, because I was visiting and I got a KFC commercial. And then I ended up doing a BMO Harris Bank commercial and an El Pollo Loco commercial, that's right.

• 16:45Bobby Lee?

  I did a.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  And, uh, and then, and when I, and I got the pilot and I was eighteen and remember I had to be out here and I was not gonna be able to do the El Pollo Loco commercial. And my manager or lawyer at the time was able to get them to move the El Pollo Loco commercial. And I was so glad so I could do the pilot.

• 17:01Speaker 05

  So when is your birthday?

• 17:02Speaker 03

  July.

• 17:04Speaker 05

  What?

• 17:05Speaker 03

  Are you July as well?

• 17:06Speaker 04

  No, but it, that means it was just your birthday.

• 17:08Speaker 03

  It was.

• 17:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, happy birthday, dude.

• 17:09Speaker 04

  Wow, happy birthday.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  And you turned thirty. Yeah, you could tell. If you look at my face, sometimes if I go like this, I look a little younger.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Come on. Come on.

• 17:16Bobby Lee?

  Me too, a little bit. Yeah, yeah.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  It makes everybody just pull it back a little bit.

• 17:19Bobby Lee?

  I just got back from Korea.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  And?

• 17:22Bobby Lee?

  I'm Andrea Jin.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Keep that in.

• 17:27Speaker 05

  Keep it.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 03

  I just got back from Korea. Boy, my arms tired.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  That's a merch, merch plug there.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  That's fun. That's good merch.

• 17:50Bobby Lee?

  BlueChew, guys.

• 17:52Speaker 06

  Guys, sex is back on the table.

• 17:54Bobby Lee?

  It is?

• 17:54Speaker 03

  What we serving here, baby?

• 17:56Speaker 06

  Or the counter, or the bed, or wherever you do it. Thanks to BlueChew Gold, the new arousal boosting formula from the number one better sex brand.

• 18:07Bobby Lee?

  Whoa.

• 18:07Speaker 06

  BlueChew is making bedrooms noisy again.

• 18:12Bobby Lee?

  And it doesn't get, just get you hard. No way. Yeah, dude, it gets you aroused, horny, turned on, dude. My god. Got performance anxiety, brah? Luke does. You did, dude? Not with this, dude. BlueChew go quiet the nerves so you can handle business, brah.

• 18:29Speaker 06

  When you take a BlueChew.

• 18:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, tell me about it, Natron.

• 18:32Speaker 06

  Get ready to meet your new dick. He's confident.

• 18:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 06

  He walks into the room with a chin up.

• 18:39Bobby Lee?

  Why not? Knock, knock.

• 18:41Speaker 06

  Makes eye contact.

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  Wait, knock, knock.

• 18:43Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 18:44Bobby Lee?

  No, who's there?

• 18:45Speaker 06

  Oh, who's there? Sorry, my fix are.

• 18:47Bobby Lee?

  I'll do it again. Knock, knock.

• 18:48Speaker 06

  Who's there?

• 18:49Bobby Lee?

  Knock, knock, knock. That's the sound of your bedpost when you use a BlueChew, dude.

• 18:53Speaker 06

  Oh, wow.

• 18:55Bobby Lee?

  Wow, dude.

• 18:56Speaker 04

  Luke, you good over there? Yeah, bro. BlueChew Gold is better sex than a tablet. They combine four ingredients in a one powerful solution.

• 19:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 19:06Speaker 04

  Two ingredients get you hard physically and then two more support arousal. You get that arousal and desire in your brain and you go, I wanna have sex.

• 19:17Bobby Lee?

  Let's go, dude. Guys have a complete experience in the bedroom with BlueChew Gold, bro.

• 19:24Speaker 04

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• 19:47Speaker 06

  Hell, yeah.

• 19:49Speaker 00

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• 20:33Speaker 00

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• 20:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, um.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  No, but I've never asked you, what made you like wanna get into comedy?

• 21:00Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 21:01Speaker 04

  I mean, I was just, you know, wanted to do it.

• 21:03Bobby Lee?

  No, no, he asked me, fuck Lord.

• 21:05Speaker 04

  Oh, he was looking right at me.

• 21:06Speaker 03

  No, I'm curious for all the guys.

• 21:08Speaker 04

  Right at me.

• 21:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  Fuck Lord, it's kind of a compliment.

• 21:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it is, okay.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  Why? So you can have sex with as many women as you want?

• 21:15Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, dude. Yeah, you were getting girls, anyway.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  I was not, I was a big loser.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  No.

• 21:22Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 21:24Speaker 04

  Fuck, bro.

• 21:25Bobby Lee?

  What, did you, did you ask that question to me, what made me get into comedy?

• 21:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was just trying to move, move it along.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay, well, it was a weird segue.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  Well, as long, as long as it drives on two wheels.

• 21:40Speaker 05

  What, um, did you do that El Pollo Loco commercial?

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 05

  How was it?

• 21:44Speaker 03

  I'll send it to you, can, we'll swipe to a moment of it.

• 21:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 05

  Did you dance in it?

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Nah, dude, I was twins, just like stacking smoke, or the cannibal guy, or they say, I don't really think that. I don't really know, but the guy that played twins, the Vinkel boss.

• 21:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:58Speaker 05

  The Vinkel boss.

• 21:58Bobby Lee?

  Can you show mine again, please?

• 22:01Speaker 05

  Were you?

• 22:01Speaker 03

  Your El Pollo Loco commercial?

• 22:02Bobby Lee?

  Yes, please, and then we're gonna show yours, because I don't think you did one.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 22:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  You took a job away from actual twins.

• 22:08Speaker 03

  Hey, it sounds more like I got, uh, a job that the twins didn't take.

• 22:13Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, wait, you were twins in the, well, you were twins in the El Pollo Loco commercial?

• 22:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:18Bobby Lee?

  So you were doing Michael B. Jordan shit back then?

• 22:21Speaker 04

  That's what he said, stacking smoke.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  Oh, I've been hanging out with, dude, yeah.

• 22:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that was the joke?

• 22:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:25Speaker 03

  Dude, I, I, I gave Michael B. Jordan.

• 22:28Bobby Lee?

  I'm like three minutes behind.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  I'm gonna send you a picture, I gave Michael B. Jordan the idea of.

• 22:32Bobby Lee?

  Did that come up yet? Look, did that come up yet?

• 22:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, there you are.

• 22:38Bobby Lee?

  There I am.

• 22:41Bobby Lee?

  Let's see yours now.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  Uh, it's not, uh, there, I'll send it to you, I don't.

• 22:45Bobby Lee?

  Pause, look at, that's my work.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's Mad TV, Bobby.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  You look good.

• 22:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, this is before Mad TV.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  You're on, he's on the left.

• 22:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. This is like, this is, here's, here's, here's the magic of this. I got in right when they were like, you know what, we should use minorities. Because my first manager said, I said to him, I don't wanna say his name, but, um, I said to him, I go, "Hey, do you think I can get a commercial agent?", and he was like, "You're never gonna get one."

• 23:12Speaker 05

  He said that to you?

• 23:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because in the landscape at the time was like, you know, I mean, it was just white dudes, and I go, "I think it's changing."

• 23:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  And so I switched managers, and I have the manager I have now, and she was like, "Yeah, I think that's a good idea", and I, and I started booking these.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  That sucks, that that was a thing, and still is, and.

• 23:27Speaker 05

  And look, two minorities right there.

• 23:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know, we were like, couldn't believe it.

• 23:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:33Speaker 04

  What, what?

• 23:34Speaker 03

  I think you guys are just as good as anyone else.

• 23:36Bobby Lee?

  Shut up, fuck you!

• 23:38Speaker 04

  Better even.

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we're better.

• 23:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, at least as good, I was saying, like on your words.

• 23:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, thank you so much, is there an, uh, Rick? No, did you lie?

• 23:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 23:51Bobby Lee?

  Okay. What are you doing?

• 23:53Speaker 05

  Luke, have you done a commercial?

• 23:55Speaker 04

  No, I, I don't have a commercial agent or anything, I actually asked my managers.

• 23:59Bobby Lee?

  I can get you one.

• 24:00Speaker 04

  I said, "Do you think I should get a commercial agent?", and they were like, "Yeah." Okay.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  I found Rick's Wikipedia, his age is thirty. Age thirty, nineteen ninety-six.

• 24:11Bobby Lee?

  Wow, you are thirty!

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, man, also, I found my El Pollo Loco commercial.

• 24:15Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  This is not a real photo.

• 24:17Speaker 05

  Kent State?

• 24:19Speaker 04

  This is a fake photo, this is a doctor photo.

• 24:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you, you, Chet you beat this, that's what you were working on.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, pay attention to this, pay attention to this.

• 24:27Speaker 04

  I'm glad that. Oh shit, he was.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  Wow, you look totally different.

• 24:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, you kinda look different.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm an actor.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  That's not my voice, that's not my voice, that's not my voice, that's not my voice, that's not my voice.

• 24:48Speaker 04

  Why'd you do that voice, why'd you do that accent at the end?

• 24:51Bobby Lee?

  You're forty-two.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 24:53Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 24:54Speaker 04

  Is that real?

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  You look really good, are you really forty-two?

• 24:57Bobby Lee?

  Why can't you own up to where you are?

• 25:00Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 25:00Bobby Lee?

  I'm fifty-five and, who cares?

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Damn!

• 25:03Bobby Lee?

  Damn fool!

• 25:05Speaker 03

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 25:05Bobby Lee?

  You gotta pity the fool!

• 25:06Speaker 03

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 25:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  Well, Kevin Hart, Don Cheadle?

• 25:09Bobby Lee?

  No, that's a Byron Allen.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  Have you guys seen that clip?

• 25:10Bobby Lee?

  I think.

• 25:11Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 25:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  No, whatever, man.

• 25:13Bobby Lee?

  You, you, did you know who I was doing? You gotta pity the fool!

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, Mr. T.

• 25:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay, thank you.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  Was that Byron Allen?

• 25:19Bobby Lee?

  That was Byron, it crossed between.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 25:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's going on, dude, what's going on with your mustache? It's different.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  It's good.

• 25:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. It's like one of those Odyssey oceans. It goes on forever.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  That's a stretch.

• 25:30Bobby Lee?

  It's a stretch, okay, my bad, yeah, yeah.

• 25:32Speaker 05

  The Aegean?

• 25:33Bobby Lee?

  The Aegean Sea.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Did you see it?

• 25:36Speaker 03

  I'm seeing it on Thursday.

• 25:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're gonna love it. You see it?

• 25:39Speaker 04

  IMAX?

• 25:40Bobby Lee?

  Well.

• 25:40Speaker 05

  It was good.

• 25:40Bobby Lee?

  What'd you, you didn't like it, though?

• 25:42Speaker 05

  No, I loved it, I really liked it.

• 25:43Bobby Lee?

  No spoilers!

• 25:44Speaker 05

  I thought that the sirens, oh.

• 25:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you can say that.

• 25:47Speaker 05

  I thought that, I wanted to see more of the sirens.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  Tell me when you're done, okay?

• 25:53Bobby Lee?

  You can shut your ears off like that?

• 25:55Speaker 04

  He can't hear you.

• 25:55Bobby Lee?

  Is that closing your ears?

• 25:56Speaker 04

  He can't hear you.

• 25:57Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  Okay, we're done.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  What, what did you say? Are we done?

• 26:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we're done, yeah. You heard her through just the actual.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  What do you call it? Life?

• 26:06Bobby Lee?

  Life!

• 26:07Speaker 05

  The world!

• 26:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:10Bobby Lee?

  Okay, what, okay, is your high done yet, or no? I feel like you're still high.

• 26:15Speaker 03

  Let me be, man, let's just talk, man. What's going on?

• 26:18Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Like, help me shine here.

• 26:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Just let's talk, man.

• 26:25Bobby Lee?

  Tell me about your Pepsi-Cola.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  Yikes!

• 26:31Bobby Lee?

  So, yeah, let's talk.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  How long have you guys been dating?

• 26:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 26:33Speaker 04

  Kat and I?

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  We're not, we're just friends.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  Well, that's not what I heard, roll, roll the clip.

• 26:38Bobby Lee?

  Roll the toe.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Do something funny with AI.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  You hearing something?

• 26:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:44Bobby Lee?

  Well, Kat, are you dating still, Kat?

• 26:46Speaker 05

  I'm single.

• 26:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 26:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:48Bobby Lee?

  Are you, are you like, you're done with the dating?

• 26:50Speaker 05

  Am I done with it?

• 26:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  Are you done with the dating? That sounded like where you asked it.

• 26:57Bobby Lee?

  Can I try it?

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Are you done with the dating?

• 27:03Speaker 05

  Um, uh, no, I'm not done, I'm just, you know.

• 27:06Bobby Lee?

  You're beginning.

• 27:07Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, I'm beginning, why not?

• 27:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:08Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm, it's the Odyssey.

• 27:10Bobby Lee?

  It's the Odyssey.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  You got, you should date.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Well, I feel like I'm a little young for you.

• 27:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're only thirty.

• 27:15Bobby Lee?

  That is true, that is true.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  You're only thirty.

• 27:17Speaker 05

  You're only thirty, yeah.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Years old. You know, when I first started coming around Tiger Belly, there was glass up on the wall.

• 27:25Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 27:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh, there was?

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  And.

• 27:29Bobby Lee?

  Covid.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, and.

• 27:32Speaker 05

  What happened to, oh, sorry.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Oh, go. No, go ahead.

• 27:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay, sorry.

• 27:36Speaker 05

  No, no, after you.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  Please.

• 27:37Speaker 05

  I was just wondering if Hanta is still around.

• 27:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Hans Kim is around.

• 27:41Speaker 05

  Hanta is at Hans Kim?

• 27:44Speaker 05

  Hanta, do you remember that?

• 27:45Bobby Lee?

  Hanta virus, yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 05

  Is it still happening?

• 27:46Bobby Lee?

  It's not.

• 27:47Speaker 05

  Oh, it's gone?

• 27:47Bobby Lee?

  It's, yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  It's Bobby the spokesperson?

• 27:49Bobby Lee?

  I'm the spokesperson. And bird flu.

• 27:52Speaker 05

  And bird flu.

• 27:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they're my two ads, ads, I'm sponsored by them.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  By bird flu?

• 27:57Bobby Lee?

  And Hanta, yeah.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can't even get bombed. I guess it's called, "Take your shoes off."

• 28:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Nobody heard me.

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I heard you.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Really?

• 28:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  What was the first part?

• 28:05Bobby Lee?

  I don't really remember.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, you, you heard me, but you forgot?

• 28:08Bobby Lee?

  Well, it's so fair, fast, and that's at the.

• 28:10Speaker 03

  You're like how Woody Harrelson doesn't actually hear Jimi Hendrix in White Man Can't Jump.

• 28:15Speaker 05

  Rick, have you always been really smart?

• 28:18Speaker 03

  You know, I got smart like, fi, like, ten years ago.

• 28:21Speaker 05

  How did it happen?

• 28:23Speaker 03

  I became twenty.

• 28:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, oh, tell me about history for so smart, what happened in the Civil War?

• 28:30Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 28:31Speaker 05

  Byron Allen.

• 28:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  Just kidding.

• 28:33Speaker 03

  Which one? You know, when FDR created the New Deal, he wasn't just creating the UN, he was also setting a set of sex imbalances and stuff about the economics.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  Sex imbalances?

• 28:48Speaker 04

  Oh, you have meta glasses, that's what it is.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  No, I have to go.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  That's how you got so smart, you got.

• 28:54Speaker 04

  You got those glasses and that just made you smart, because you could read stuff on the glasses.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Sorry, couldn't hear you. I was too busy masturbating.

• 29:01Speaker 05

  On your glasses?

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. I don't know, man.

• 29:03Bobby Lee?

  The way you masturbate must be very clinical.

• 29:05Speaker 05

  I agree.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, I masturbate, you.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  I'm gonna put that toilet paper here, right, I'm gonna have the lube right here.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  No way, dude, I'll come anywhere.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  My little machine here.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  I'll come anywhere, dude, they're lying.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah, all right, that's fine.

• 29:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I mean, is there, is there a ritual, or no?

• 29:19Speaker 05

  A certain time, maybe?

• 29:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, go time?

• 29:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, it's all go time, yeah.

• 29:26Speaker 03

  Andy Cozell once said that he.

• 29:28Bobby Lee?

  I love Andy Cozell.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  He said that, "I feel like I'm always five minutes, masturbating makes you five minutes late anywhere."

• 29:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  I always thought that was funny, because it was like, oh, he's somebody that probably gets horny if he has to go do something.

• 29:41Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  So he masturbates, and it's like, I could do it quick, but it's still, he's a little late.

• 29:45Bobby Lee?

  I masturbate when I have anxiety.

• 29:47Speaker 05

  I, a little bit of both for me.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, here's what, when I do it. Can't, can't, other people talk or no?

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Cameron didn't even have to cut to me, dude.

• 29:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay. So anyway.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  We just play the game.

• 30:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Talk about masturbating anxiety.

• 30:03Speaker 05

  I just feel like it's sometimes that's what happens. You're a little bit stressed. Or, or like you're, like you said, oh, is that what you do when you have plans?

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't masturbate.

• 30:12Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  I haven't masturbated in almost three hours.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  You were just on a.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Oh. Jesus, you're sneaking up on me like that, dude?

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Sorry, I'm just mad.

• 30:22Bobby Lee?

  That was a lot.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 30:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, apologize.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Sorry, I'm sorry.

• 30:25Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  You know he's busting balls. I'm like, I'm down to earth, just like you.

• 30:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's his name?

• 30:31Speaker 03

  L- L- Lucas.

• 30:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:34Speaker 05

  Is it short for Lucas?

• 30:35Speaker 04

  No.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  My name is Lucas.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Lucas is not, Luke isn't his own name, is it?

• 30:39Bobby Lee?

  I live on the second floor.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Your birth is a Luke?

• 30:41Speaker 04

  That's like Rick.

• 30:42Speaker 03

  No, but Rick isn't my actual name.

• 30:44Speaker 05

  Is it Richard?

• 30:45Speaker 04

  It's like that.

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  How come one of these saying no one even got into it? We should all sing that song together.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  Did you guys all think that Luke was short for Lucas? Did you ever, did any of you think that Luke was an actual?

• 30:54Bobby Lee?

  One, two, three.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  I didn't know that.

• 30:56Bobby Lee?

  My name is, everyone, one, two, three, my name is Luca. I live on the second floor.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Like Bob is Robert.

• 31:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess depends who you ask.

• 31:08Speaker 03

  Nobody's born Bob.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  People are born Bob.

• 31:11Bobby Lee?

  I'm Robert.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Can we talk about anxiety or?

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yes. You were talking about jerking off?

• 31:16Speaker 04

  Cat, that's short.

• 31:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Sponsors.

• 31:19Speaker 04

  Everyone's a shortened name here, except for me.

• 31:23Bobby Lee?

  No, there's gotta be a longer version of.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  That, what is this? Is that short for catatonic?

• 31:28Speaker 05

  A Sarah.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 31:29Bobby Lee?

  No, it's Catherine.

• 31:30Speaker 05

  Catherine, yeah.

• 31:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  What's your, what's your actual name? Bobby?

• 31:34Speaker 04

  Robert.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Robert?

• 31:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Robert.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  That's what I just said. I said everyone's a shortened name here, except for me. I'm just Luke, period. Boom.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  No, but, but before that, great sounds, but before that was saying, Bob.

• 31:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Can we call you Lucian?

• 31:50Speaker 04

  That'd be cool.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  Lucian is one of, is one of the vamp, is one of the werewolves in, in.

• 31:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Underworld, right?

• 31:56Speaker 05

  Sigmund Freud's brother's name was Lucian.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  That's probably why I did that.

• 32:00Bobby Lee?

  Did you see all the Underworlds? There was a lot of those movies.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I love them all.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I had a huge crush on Kate Beckinsale because, hey, I'm a guy.

• 32:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  But also the other actress who plays one of the underworld things?

• 32:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  I don't remember her name.

• 32:14Speaker 05

  Hugh Jackman?

• 32:15Speaker 03

  No, no, no, in Underworld, she, it's.

• 32:16Bobby Lee?

  Underworld.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  Will you look up the underworld, uh, what is it called? Just the last one?

• 32:24Speaker 03

  No, yeah, but, but it's a, it's a different underworld. What's the last underworld called? Without Kate Beckinsale, underworld like?

• 32:31Speaker 05

  Oh, Rona Mitra's very pretty. Rona Mitra?

• 32:36Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, underworld was a series of movies. It's too blue, almost.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  It's so blue.

• 32:41Bobby Lee?

  Isn't that blue?

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:42Bobby Lee?

  It's too blue, almost.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the filter.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  I used to not love the Batman cartoon when I was growing up because it was too dark. Like sometimes you couldn't see stuff.

• 32:52Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  Like in Game of Thrones, the, what was it called? What was the, no spoiler here, but the battle of the.

• 32:57Bobby Lee?

  Uh, bastards.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  No, that very end with the, with the.

• 33:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that was too dark. Yeah, that was dark.

• 33:01Speaker 03

  It's too dark.

• 33:02Bobby Lee?

  That was dark. You just saw the episode, right?

• 33:04Speaker 03

  And the blue makes me also feel, it's like, it's a little like.

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  It's too blue, yeah. I don't like it too anything, too yellow, too.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  I wonder if that's that Berenstein Bears thing, though. What's it called?

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, a Mandela effect.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Yes, uh, where maybe I'm, because I'm picturing the Blu-ray.

• 33:19Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  I know it's dark.

• 33:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  But is it blue? Because it makes sense.

• 33:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  I don't know if that's the case. If your name Bob and that's your full name and you really remember the color schematics of underworld, will you please? Send me a message. I want to send you merch.

• 33:33Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 33:34Speaker 05

  I just learned about the men, is it Mandela effect?

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  That's it.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  You're talking about? Well, which one are you talking about?

• 33:40Speaker 05

  Um, the one where you think that something, but it's something else?

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, you mean like.

• 33:46Bobby Lee?

  I'll give you a Mandela effect that you might not know.

• 33:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:48Bobby Lee?

  Can I give you a Mandela effect that you might not know?

• 33:50Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 33:50Bobby Lee?

  Right during the Batman series, the original Batman, like with, what's his name, Wes? What's his name?

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Adam West.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  Adam West, right? He didn't have an eyeball in the show.

• 33:58Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 33:58Bobby Lee?

  He just had one eye.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Adam West has one eye?

• 34:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Why didn't he play Jack Sparrow?

• 34:04Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 34:04Speaker 04

  Great point.

• 34:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. That joke didn't work at all because I made up, I made up a Mandela effect.

• 34:11Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 34:12Speaker 04

  What's the joke?

• 34:12Bobby Lee?

  The joke is making up a Mandela effect.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  No. The joke was Captain Jack Sparrow.

• 34:17Bobby Lee?

  Uh, uh, okay, yeah.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, nope. Oh, Jesus Christ. If I were editing this, I'd be so embarrassed of myself.

• 34:25Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  You got this, right?

• 34:28Speaker 04

  Shook his head.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Ken, will you do this one?

• 34:30Speaker 05

  Have you watched all the Pirates of the Caribbean's?

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I rewatched them not too long ago.

• 34:34Speaker 05

  How many, how many are there now?

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Ooh, I don't remember, was it three or four?

• 34:37Bobby Lee?

  Three or four, yeah. You know, back to the Batman cartoons, there's a new one coming out that I'm very looking forward to, a cartoon, a Batman one. I bought it, I pre-ordered it.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Oh, so it's out already?

• 34:47Bobby Lee?

  I don't, no, I don't think it's out yet.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  It's in the can.

• 34:49Bobby Lee?

  It's in the can, yeah, I pre-ordered. I love those animated Batman movies. Can you suggest one for me?

• 34:56Speaker 03

  Well, I think maybe if you, it's not a movie, but have you ever seen the show Gargoyles?

• 35:01Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  I think you'd like that.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Is this made up?

• 35:07Bobby Lee?

  Really? Gargoyles?

• 35:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:09Bobby Lee?

  I don't believe you.

• 35:11Speaker 04

  I watched this as a kid.

• 35:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're, wow, why would I like the gargoyles?

• 35:16Speaker 05

  You know, they look like a Space Jam characters, don't they, a little bit?

• 35:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:20Bobby Lee?

  What's a human about in the middle?

• 35:22Speaker 03

  That's not a human.

• 35:23Bobby Lee?

  She's not a human?

• 35:23Speaker 03

  She, it's, she represents, she represents, she represents the world.

• 35:27Speaker 04

  AOC.

• 35:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's AOC, dude.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  That's kind of like how Meghan Markle was in suits.

• 35:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 05

  Oh, I love that.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  AOC was in gargoyles.

• 35:34Bobby Lee?

  The green one, Stephen Miller. She's fighting wall.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:39Bobby Lee?

  Do you have a favorite Batman villain? There were, there are some, there are some that like, I'm not really that into. People, you know, if you look at the Batman villain list, people really love Iceman. Yeah, but how do you do?

• 35:51Speaker 03

  Cool out.

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Who the fuck is Iceman?

• 35:55Bobby Lee?

  Mr. Freeze.

• 35:56Speaker 05

  Mr. Freeze.

• 35:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. Freeze, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. People really love Mr. Freeze, right? And it's like, how do you do that in the Matt Reeves world?

• 36:04Speaker 05

  Make Mr. Freeze?

• 36:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:05Speaker 05

  I mean, he's such a character, you can.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  Probably like dry eyes.

• 36:08Bobby Lee?

  No, because, you know, in the Matt Reeves, um, uh, world, right?

• 36:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:12Bobby Lee?

  Everything is grounded, correct?

• 36:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:14Bobby Lee?

  Like, even, even the Christopher Nolan Batman's, all the villains are grounded, like they could be real. How do you do Mr. Freeze in a, in, maybe we'll discover it in the second movie, I don't know. There's some of them, like, how do you do Poison Ivy?

• 36:27Speaker 05

  Poison Ivy, I think you could do, you can make her like a crystal lady and she could be kind of weird and.

• 36:32Bobby Lee?

  And just poisoning people with like, I don't know.

• 36:34Speaker 05

  I don't know, you know, like Cersei's in The Odyssey?

• 36:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:37Speaker 05

  I feel like.

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  Make it like that.

• 36:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. There's also like, what's the crocodile guy? Mr. Croc?

• 36:43Speaker 05

  Mr. Penguin.

• 36:43Bobby Lee?

  No, Croc. Go to Croc.

• 36:46Speaker 05

  Who's Croc?

• 36:47Bobby Lee?

  Killer Croc.

• 36:48Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, that's.

• 36:48Bobby Lee?

  Now, these ones, right, they did Bane.

• 36:51Speaker 05

  I thought Bane was good.

• 36:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but like, how do you do Man-Bat? How do you do Solomon Grundy?

• 36:55Speaker 04

  Clayface is next.

• 36:56Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  All I gotta do is pull my shorts down.

• 36:58Bobby Lee?

  I don't, yeah, I don't care, I'm gonna move on without you, if you're not gonna add. Um, Solomon Grundy, right, is dead, actually. How do you do that?

• 37:05Speaker 05

  I think Clayface would be difficult.

• 37:06Bobby Lee?

  They did it, they're doing it, they already did it.

• 37:08Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 37:09Bobby Lee?

  Look at the trailer, looks great.

• 37:10Speaker 05

  Really?

• 37:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  And it was, okay.

• 37:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, The Mad Hatter's a good one.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  Calendar Man.

• 37:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:15Speaker 05

  Have you heard about him? He's like one of the more, more underrated villains.

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  Tell me about Calendar Man, what's, what's his villain powers?

• 37:21Speaker 05

  He just knows the dates.

• 37:24Bobby Lee?

  That's good.

• 37:26Speaker 05

  He remembers all the things.

• 37:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he tells Batman, I'll be here March 5th.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  You know, if I had to play, if I had to play any Batman villain right now with my energy?

• 37:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  I think I'd want to play Joe Chill.

• 37:37Bobby Lee?

  There's no just Joe Chill. Oh, there's, yeah, you are Joe Chill, dude, you are Joe Chill, dude. You're Joe Chill. Uh, yeah, uh, uh, hey, I'm Tony Zuko.

• 37:46Speaker 05

  How about Carmine Falcone? That's kind of a cool one.

• 37:49Bobby Lee?

  No, Carmine Falcone's already in it.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  He's in it.

• 37:51Speaker 05

  Oh, he's in it.

• 37:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's already in the world. He's, uh, he was played by, um.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  All these crazy names and then.

• 37:57Bobby Lee?

  What's his name?

• 37:57Speaker 04

  King Tut.

• 37:58Bobby Lee?

  From, uh.

• 38:01Bobby Lee?

  John Turturro, John Turturro. John Turturro plays Carmine Falcone.

• 38:05Speaker 05

  That's cool.

• 38:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 38:06Speaker 05

  Sal Maroni.

• 38:07Bobby Lee?

  Hey, Sal Maroni.

• 38:09Speaker 05

  Sal Maroni.

• 38:09Bobby Lee?

  Hey, I'm Clock King. I know Calendar Man.

• 38:14Bobby Lee?

  We do time.

• 38:17Speaker 05

  I'll be there in December.

• 38:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, False Face. Yeah, that's on the agenda.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  These are.

• 38:26Speaker 05

  How about Crazy Quilt? That's kind of fun.

• 38:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's fun, yeah.

• 38:28Speaker 05

  Crazy Quilt.

• 38:29Bobby Lee?

  What's going on? You can't add?

• 38:30Speaker 04

  I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, he's.

• 38:33Bobby Lee?

  What is going, tell me what's going on. He's touching you, it's weird.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Don't say what I said.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  Okay, I don't know, I didn't hear what you said.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  Hey, Bobby, is that a new camera? Take a look real quick.

• 38:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh?

• 38:43Speaker 03

  Never mind, I thought I saw something.

• 38:45Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 38:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, nothing, man. We were just talking about how we think the views are probably going up during that part.

• 38:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:52Speaker 04

  Right. Right.

• 38:54Bobby Lee?

  I'm trying to steer the ship into different areas.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, and Mr. Freeze is on board because iceberg right ahead, why don't we turn on to something else than making silly jokes about Batman villains that we don't know?

• 39:05Speaker 04

  Nice, nice.

• 39:07Bobby Lee?

  Yikes.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was smooth.

• 39:09Bobby Lee?

  But this is something that you're into, no?

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, I'm into taking a shit, I don't want to do that for an hour on this podcast.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  Into taking a shit.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  Buddy, better out than in. My grandfather used to say, it's better to belch and bear the shame than not to belch and bear the pain.

• 39:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay, can I ask you this?

• 39:23Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 39:24Bobby Lee?

  What about Bobby Lee? That's a good villain.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Shout out to Scott Hepburn, illustrator.

• 39:28Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  Through these.

• 39:29Speaker 05

  Oh, Burt Kreischer, that's fun.

• 39:31Bobby Lee?

  That's a fun one.

• 39:32Speaker 05

  That is interesting.

• 39:33Speaker 04

  Did you see that the, the Laugh Factory has, has, uh.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, they started doing cards.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  I know.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  What do you think about that?

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Hey, man, uh, uh, blah, blah, blah is the blah, blah, blah of flattery, you know, you know what I'm trying to say?

• 39:45Speaker 04

  Yes, I do.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 39:46Speaker 05

  I think you're in those deck of cards.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, they gave me five grand. I'll tell you something, I'm like, it ain't worth it, but at the end of the day, I was like, I, I, I'm just, it's $5,000.

• 39:57Bobby Lee?

  That's good money.

• 39:58Speaker 05

  That's good money.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  But, but, but like, I didn't want to do that because like, I'm making my own cards here. But like, I'll give you $5,000, you've got to sign some stuff. I'm like, you know what? I'm not gonna come on here and say, hey, man, I'm, I'm fully enlightened and I'm not gonna do shit for cash, straight up, dude.

• 40:14Bobby Lee?

  Sell out.

• 40:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, sometimes.

• 40:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Sometimes, but I'm not gonna, I'm not, I'm not gonna be ashamed of it because it doesn't feel like it's not part of my identity. If there's something that I don't want to do, but you'll pay me enough and it's not that big of a deal.

• 40:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  You know, like, I've said no to shows and stuff, not big things, but like I've said, no, I don't think I'll shine in this, I don't, I'm not, I don't care about this.

• 40:33Bobby Lee?

  I say no all the time.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  You know what I'm doing now? It's like, hey, can we do this? Give me the fucking bag, dude.

• 40:39Bobby Lee?

  Ah, bag.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm saying like, hey, I don't want to do this thing, it pays a thousand dollars and it's in California when I'm here, and it's like, that's not enough money for what this is, it's a full day of a thing, I don't think this is that funny.

• 40:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  I used to be like, not a chance. Now I'm like, give me 3,000.

• 40:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  And give me 3,000, give me 3,000. And then I'm gonna use that money.

• 41:01Bobby Lee?

  To help the poor.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  I mean, I have money for that. I already have enough for that.

• 41:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. How much?

• 41:09Speaker 03

  I mean, I probably give to charity, probably $20,000 a year.

• 41:13Speaker 05

  $20,000? What charity?

• 41:15Bobby Lee?

  That's crazy, being 30 and being able to do that?

• 41:18Speaker 03

  Hey, man. You know what? I'd love to give a shout out to E-PATH. That's People Assisting the Homeless. If you want to pull their website up.

• 41:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, we'll do it.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  It's a wonderful charity. It's a wonderful organization where they help find families. They not only take them off the street and get them a home, they also help pay the rent for the first year. And you go in with a group of people, you can make like a trip out of it, you get to know the family, you bring, hey, do you know somebody that has a mattress and somebody, like somebody you helped stock the fridge and?

• 41:41Bobby Lee?

  Do you want to do one together?

• 41:44Speaker 03

  I mean, the only reason I'd say no is because I want to do five together.

• 41:47Bobby Lee?

  Let's, no, let's do, I will do one together.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  Right, let's do an E-PATH. We'll get a People Assisting the Homeless. It'll be sponsored, our treat to them.

• 41:54Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I want to go and do something like that.

• 41:56Speaker 05

  Can we just, can you, do you need to bring money or can you just bring?

• 41:59Speaker 03

  You could donate your time, you could donate, as long as it's like new stuff, nice stuff.

• 42:03Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  But like,

• 42:04Bobby Lee?

  But you have to lift people.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Like if you, if you ever like, hey, I have this, I have this couch and it's, you know, we got a new couch and it's like, it looks new and it's clean, like, think, like, what do I do with it? Oh, contact them. Contact them, say, hey, I have this furniture. I don't, you know, they can help arrange.

• 42:18Bobby Lee?

  I want to do, I want to do an 800-pound man kind of thing.

• 42:21Speaker 05

  What's that mean?

• 42:22Bobby Lee?

  Like, you know, he's in an apartment, 800.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:24Bobby Lee?

  We can ask him, hey. Gotta lift him because we have to put new furniture in.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  I don't know if you can really ask what weight.

• 42:29Bobby Lee?

  Looking, lifting him out, right? And then bringing him back in and we can have conversations like.

• 42:34Speaker 05

  Do we have to bring him through the door?

• 42:36Bobby Lee?

  Do you like One Piece? Or whatever they'll do. But, um, yeah, yeah, that'd be cool.

• 42:41Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 42:42Bobby Lee?

  I want to help help.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  Well, why don't you start by zipping it up and I think let's talk for a little bit.

• 42:50Bobby Lee?

  Fair, fair enough.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  How long you been on Tiger Belly?

• 42:54Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  All right. Bobby?

• 42:58Bobby Lee?

  Do it.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  I'm trying.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  I don't.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Hey, I like to have.

• 43:02Speaker 04

  I'm like a side guy, like people, you know, people bounce off. I can't, I'm not a spotlight guy. I can't.

• 43:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, try to be a spotlight.

• 43:08Speaker 04

  I can't.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. Okay. So could I, could then, could, could the lights just be on in the room for a moment and you happen to be in them, but it's not just on you? And can I ask you a couple of questions? Because I came in here a little stoned and I'm only.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  Very stoned.

• 43:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think very.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:23Bobby Lee?

  I think very.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:24Speaker 04

  You're eating the.

• 43:25Bobby Lee?

  You're not normal.

• 43:26Speaker 04

  You came in here with munchies, you're asking for hot cheetos and stuff and.

• 43:29Speaker 05

  Don't make it.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Oh, now I know why you're not a spotlight guy. Jesus Christ. Asking for cheetos and stuff.

• 43:34Speaker 04

  Now you're attacking me. You put me in the spotlight and now you're attacking.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Shut up. I'm asking you a question and instead of even thinking about what I'm asking you, you're not even listening to me right now. You put the microphone back. Hold on.

• 43:46Bobby Lee?

  You didn't think us for lunch.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  Hey, just relax, man.

• 43:50Bobby Lee?

  For lunch?

• 43:51Speaker 03

  You know what you need? A little Joe chill. Relax. I'm asking you a question and by far, even more annoying than me, the most annoying part of this episode was the last minute. And it's not because you're shining, it's because you're telling the light guy, get away, get away. He's just trying to do his job. You're here, you're, look at, you're in the light.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  Now, I want to ask you something.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  Are you nervous? Are you scared? What are you feeling? Because I didn't realize that this was real until I started this a couple of minutes ago and I realized, oh, we're making jokes and stuff and like, there's something going on.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Before I, okay, first?

• 44:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Breathe.

• 44:41Speaker 04

  Thank you for lunch.

• 44:42Bobby Lee?

  You're welcome.

• 44:43Speaker 04

  It's very good.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Hey, funny.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  Sincere. Hey, you know what? Yeah. A little reflective.

• 44:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  Second, uh.

• 44:58Bobby Lee?

  Before you say it.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  No, your job isn't to hit the ball. Your job is to step up to the plate and be present.

• 45:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay, yeah.

• 45:08Speaker 05

  That helped.

• 45:09Speaker 04

  Like Shohei.

• 45:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but that's, is that a joke?

• 45:13Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:13Speaker 04

  No.

• 45:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Second one.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  So what is it? Could you just tell me the truth without, without projecting onto what other people will be thinking, but how you're feeling?

• 45:23Speaker 04

  Sweaty.

• 45:24Bobby Lee?

  Right now you are.

• 45:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:26Bobby Lee?

  Are you under pressure because of his energy right now?

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Bobby, if, if, and listen, I should take this note. If we could be quiet when somebody nervous starts to answer, maybe they'll start to continue to answer if we give them the space.

• 45:37Bobby Lee?

  I know, but he's sat here through Dave Franco and Thomas Lennon and all these people, right? And he was in the pocket, right? But I think you're making him nervous.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  They're not, they're not.

• 45:45Bobby Lee?

  I want to side on him for a second.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  They're not artists like me.

• 45:47Bobby Lee?

  I know. Oh, okay. They're not.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  They give $20,000 a year to charity? Oh, charity is my ex-wife's mother-in-law, by the way.

• 45:55Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  I understand that you're nervous, but you're not nervous because I don't want to take away from Bobby. You're nervous because I don't know what to say. I'm not saying that's what it is. But I'm saying there's another layer underneath.

• 46:04Bobby Lee?

  But that's what it is.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  And.

• 46:05Speaker 05

  Are your parents divorced?

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Yes. Of course, my parents are divorced.

• 46:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, fight back. I like this.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  Gosh.

• 46:12Bobby Lee?

  Go in, go into him.

• 46:13Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna go into the guest.

• 46:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, go into the.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  You don't, you feel, you don't even have to say no to him.

• 46:19Bobby Lee?

  Luke, Luke, look at me. Say yes, okay?

• 46:21Speaker 03

  No, you don't say, just like, oh, Bobby's throwing stuff at the wall. I've seen something stick. I've seen something stick. And it's messy. The whole house smells like piss, by the way.

• 46:30Bobby Lee?

  I know it does.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  What's that about?

• 46:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  The whole house smells like piss.

• 46:34Bobby Lee?

  It's crazy. It's cat piss. Yeah, yeah. I have three cats.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  And you have three, we have three cats?

• 46:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  But how many pussies?

• 46:42Bobby Lee?

  Here we go. That's good. Learned.

• 46:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm trying to listen and learn.

• 46:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  I also want to acknowledge that I don't love.

• 46:49Bobby Lee?

  Go into cat now.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Somebody pussy is a negative trait because I think, I'd love to see a man give birth out of his dick.

• 46:55Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Women are strong.

• 46:57Bobby Lee?

  They are strong.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  But men could also give birth out of their dick.

• 47:01Bobby Lee?

  It would be much painful, I think. Yeah, I mean, imagine. The hole's so small.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  That's what the movie Junior was about.

• 47:07Bobby Lee?

  It's like a vein, like a little vein, the hole.

• 47:10Speaker 05

  Ouch.

• 47:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Have you seen the movie Junior with Arnold Schwarzenegger where he gives birth to a baby through his penis, I think, right?

• 47:16Speaker 05

  Was it a small baby?

• 47:18Bobby Lee?

  It's an Arnie baby. No, it's thick. It's thick. Yeah.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  I don't, oh, no, I don't remember what the baby was. I remember they originally offered it to Will Smith and Arnold really wanted to do it and he said, please let me do it. I'll be black.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  That was good. Thank you.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Anyway, I am sorry for what, oh, you're not even letting me, oh, actually, now you know what? I'm not sorry anymore. That's actually tough. I was like empathizing for a little bit. I'm like, oh, I literally can't even say something. I didn't even get to say.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Empathize for a little bit. Thank you for your brief moment of empathy.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Just for a moment, yeah. I am, we're so on a different frequency and I didn't realize that until recently. And I'm like, listen, I'll take, I'll take the blame.

• 48:00Bobby Lee?

  Can I, can I defend him for a second?

• 48:01Speaker 03

  But like, I can't even say something.

• 48:03Bobby Lee?

  This is the second pod today.

• 48:06Bobby Lee?

  Right? So he is, he.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  So he's warmed up.

• 48:08Bobby Lee?

  No, he had a big launch, right? He's a little groggy, right? Am I not right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, you already played the game. It's like telling somebody to play two games in one day.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  Frankly, frankly, I was nervous that this exact thing would happen because you are very sharp, you're very on it, you're very quick, you're a professional podcaster. I'm not a professional anything. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And I was like, oh, Rick's gonna come in here with big energy. I have to make sure that nothing goes awry and nothing gets flipped on me. And here we are. I'm the frickin' butt of the joke. I'm the big, stupid, stinky, sweaty idiot, okay? And that's not what I'm trying to do. You're, you're doing a great job. You're a good guest and I don't want to take away from your skills of doing it. And I'm done talking. Thank you.

• 48:56Bobby Lee?

  Everyone's uncomfortable with silence.

• 48:58Speaker 03

  So I just want to take in and hear what he's saying.

• 49:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. That's an actual movie.

• 49:04Speaker 05

  And that's where the baby, the baby came out of his wiener?

• 49:07Speaker 03

  You feel like you have to show up a certain way and because of the way you feel I am, you feel it's difficult to do that. In a way, I could look at that as I'm like taking away your energy. I'm like casting a shadow on you, but I don't feel responsible for that. I do understand, recognize I'm coming in with this energy. I would love to give you a little bit of advice for, not for you to do, but for you to consider. Because what do I know?

• 49:36Bobby Lee?

  You're a homicidal maniac.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Have the conversation.

• 49:39Bobby Lee?

  You're out of your fucking mind right now.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  And let it be bad. Don't not have the conversation because you're afraid it might be.

• 49:46Bobby Lee?

  Luke.

• 49:49Bobby Lee?

  Take it or leave it.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  That's good.

• 49:50Bobby Lee?

  Leave it, leave it. Cause I, I really wanted to talk to you for a second.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  Was it in earnest though?

• 49:54Bobby Lee?

  Leave me alone!

• 49:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, see, it wasn't in earnest though. It was a question to set me up and to bait me.

• 49:59Bobby Lee?

  Stop, I just said it was. You, do you, do you know I'm joking?

• 50:02Speaker 04

  Yes, I know you're joking!

• 50:04Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:05Speaker 04

  Come on! No! You're killing me!

• 50:09Bobby Lee?

  It'll be tough.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:10Bobby Lee?

  This is a real movie. I've never heard of this movie.

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, you have?

• 50:14Bobby Lee?

  I really, literally have never heard of it. So he's pregnant.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, he said he'll be black.

• 50:20Speaker 05

  Wait, what did you say?

• 50:21Speaker 04

  The Will Smith joke.

• 50:22Bobby Lee?

  It was the Will Smith earlier, yeah, yeah.

• 50:24Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 50:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you have to follow.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  Do you know that he almost really did this in real life, but they couldn't figure out the technology didn't exist at the time? But that he actually was down to give birth?

• 50:36Bobby Lee?

  Oh, like method?

• 50:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, really do it.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  Odyssey.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  But the...

• 50:40Bobby Lee?

  They don't have the technology now.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, they do.

• 50:42Speaker 05

  That's not his real belly?

• 50:44Speaker 03

  It's probably his real belly, but they probably did, like, they probably painted it red.

• 50:47Speaker 04

  How did he become impregnated?

• 50:49Bobby Lee?

  Are they a couple, these two?

• 50:51Speaker 03

  No, it's a sci- that's his twin. Uh, they're twin brothers.

• 50:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so this is an option of twins?

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Junior is twins too.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  People don't know that, but it is. They even have the same names in it. It is, yeah.

• 51:04Bobby Lee?

  So they're brothers, but, but his...

• 51:07Speaker 03

  No, they're not, no, that's a doctor, it's a science experiment. He's a scientist.

• 51:10Bobby Lee?

  But now, but they're still twins?

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 51:12Speaker 05

  He's a scientist and he did the science on himself?

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Yes, I don't remember exactly. It came out before I was born.

• 51:17Bobby Lee?

  Is he full of metal right now? Is, so is it, is it a Terminator thing too?

• 51:20Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 51:21Speaker 05

  No, it's Mr. Freeze.

• 51:22Bobby Lee?

  Maybe infuse all of it, you know what I mean?

• 51:25Speaker 03

  Infuse like water.

• 51:26Bobby Lee?

  I'll be back.

• 51:28Speaker 05

  It was Mr. Freeze.

• 51:28Bobby Lee?

  I'll be, I'll be back. What movie is that from?

• 51:32Speaker 05

  Terminator.

• 51:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good, very good job. You're on it.

• 51:35Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  I saw an interview with James Cameron that Arnold wanted to make it, "I will be back." I don't remember, it was maybe something because of his accent and he wanted to, something. And James Cameron's like, "No, this is better." And there was actually like a little back and forth. And Arnold's like, like, it's like the, my biggest, it's, you know, catchphrase.

• 51:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  Arguably the biggest catchphrase.

• 51:54Bobby Lee?

  Ever.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:56Speaker 03

  That and dynamite.

• 51:58Bobby Lee?

  That's a big one.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:59Bobby Lee?

  But the nightmare of Jimmy Walker, ever since then? He was, he's the one that said it.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  Yes, I made a different joke.

• 52:07Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Okay, what's going on with us right now, dude? We're not in rhythm.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  And you know what? It's my fault.

• 52:14Speaker 04

  No, it's, it's not.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  Have you ever seen Good Will Hunting? Is that okay that I ask you that?

• 52:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, yeah, I've seen it.

• 52:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  And I would appreciate someone saying that it's not my fault.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  It's not your fault.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 52:27Speaker 03

  There's something going on in your mind right now?

• 52:29Speaker 04

  Okay, so then it is my fault?

• 52:31Speaker 03

  Well, it's your fault for reacting that way, but not for having those feelings.

• 52:34Bobby Lee?

  Look at the crinkles in his eyes when he, when he smiles. It's really...

• 52:36Speaker 03

  I don't know, cause it seems like you're, I don't know if you know that I'm being playful.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  I know, I know.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  That, but it doesn't, you don't like it?

• 52:43Speaker 04

  No, I...

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Cause you're getting so upset that it's fucking nuts to me. Cause I'm like, are you joking? But you're not now.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  I am joking.

• 52:51Bobby Lee?

  No, he's, he's full of rage.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  But it's real, man. There's something there.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  It's not, it's not.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  Well, then can I keep playing the way, is there something you like?

• 52:57Bobby Lee?

  All right, well, you wanna see the dragon?

• 52:59Speaker 04

  No.

• 52:59Bobby Lee?

  Keep going.

• 53:00Speaker 04

  Good job.

• 53:00Bobby Lee?

  Right, Luke, show the dragon.

• 53:02Speaker 04

  Thank you. No, I'm not showing a dragon.

• 53:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, show the dragon, dude.

• 53:05Speaker 04

  I'm gonna grab the snake and...

• 53:07Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:08Bobby Lee?

  That callback, that was a long time ago.

• 53:11Bobby Lee?

  That was from the other, that was from the other podcast we did earlier.

• 53:15Speaker 04

  It's in the universe, it's in the universe.

• 53:17Bobby Lee?

  You pulled way back, dude.

• 53:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:18Bobby Lee?

  You went to the Iliad.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:20Bobby Lee?

  To do the Odyssey.

• 53:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:22Bobby Lee?

  What about, what about Kat? How are you, Kat?

• 53:25Speaker 05

  I'm good, I'm good.

• 53:26Bobby Lee?

  Go into, Rick, blaze into Kat, because I don't like her attitude either.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  I'm not here to blaze, I'm here to, I'm here to connect.

• 53:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, you already blazed on the last one.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:39Bobby Lee?

  Good one, dude.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 53:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Are you seeing anybody, Rick?

• 53:44Speaker 03

  I'm, uh, I, I'm, I'm dating. I'm dating. Well, when I say I'm dating, I mean like, I've gone on some dates and I, I'm open to going on some dates. But I'm not really actively dating, nor am I avoiding. I think I'd like to be dating.

• 53:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  You know what I'd really like to be doing?

• 54:02Bobby Lee?

  Tell me.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  I'd like to be continuing this podcast and having a great time and connecting with you guys. And then I'd like to go pick up my doggy from camp, where I put him at camp for the first time.

• 54:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's sweet.

• 54:13Speaker 04

  That's nerve wracking.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  And go home to, to my partner, guy or girl?

• 54:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:17Bobby Lee?

  It doesn't matter.

• 54:17Speaker 03

  Preferably a girl.

• 54:19Bobby Lee?

  Preferably a boy.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Um, no, preferably...

• 54:21Speaker 05

  A man, maybe.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  No, I, I'm more attracted to women than I am men.

• 54:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  I've never sexually been with a man.

• 54:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  I just feel like I couldn't marry one because like, how many times do I have to tell you how to put a dish in the dishwasher? You put a bowl on the bottom rack, if there's not a separate sprinkler for the top rack, it's stopping the upper thing from doing it.

• 54:37Speaker 04

  I just learned that.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, you know what? Your frontal lobe cortex is whatever.

• 54:42Bobby Lee?

  Why are you peeing on the toilet seat? I think my boyfriend would do that.

• 54:45Speaker 05

  He would do that?

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, just could pee all over the toilet seat.

• 54:48Speaker 05

  And nothing in the toilet.

• 54:49Bobby Lee?

  And nothing in the toilet, yeah, yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  Oh, no. When I pee, and I'm old fashioned, if there's a, if there's a lady over, I'll pee on the porcelain so she doesn't hear how big my dick is. I'm serious.

• 54:58Speaker 05

  Does that make it, is that how you can find out how big it is, based on...

• 55:02Speaker 03

  You could, if you know about dicks and piss?

• 55:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  Uh, if you could hear someone...

• 55:06Bobby Lee?

  It's that thick.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  You could hear someone's piss. It's, it's hitting the water that hard. It's not that the piss is thick. It's not that your urethra is wider.

• 55:12Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  I don't know, man. I feel like...

• 55:14Bobby Lee?

  You brought it up.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  You got a churro dick, dude. It's probably thick as fuck and cinnamon as shit.

• 55:19Bobby Lee?

  Mine? Very good, yeah. There is a flavor, I'll tell you that.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Your dick's probably only this long, but it's this thick.

• 55:25Bobby Lee?

  But there is a flavor.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  Can't get my hands?

• 55:29Speaker 05

  Um, churros aren't that thick.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no. It's, it's not about, it's not about the thickness of a churro, it's about the aspect.

• 55:35Bobby Lee?

  Mine have ridges.

• 55:36Speaker 05

  The texture.

• 55:38Speaker 03

  It's the aspect of a churro. Oh, also, when I'm thinking churro, I'm thinking, um, I'm thinking, uh, Jack in the Box's churros, not a long, thin churro.

• 55:45Bobby Lee?

  Ah, I see.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  Because it has a thick hole, you said the piss is thick?

• 55:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:48Speaker 03

  That urethra with the cinnamon stuff comes out, that would be real, that's what I was thinking.

• 55:51Speaker 05

  And sometimes you dunk them in icing.

• 55:55Bobby Lee?

  I've never...

• 55:56Speaker 03

  I used to get the strawberry milkshakes with Oreos.

• 55:59Bobby Lee?

  Oreo.

• 55:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, those are good.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  And then I would, I would use the churros as a spoon for it.

• 56:02Speaker 05

  Ooh.

• 56:03Speaker 03

  I used to eat that stuff five years ago when I was your age so much.

• 56:06Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes churros aren't good.

• 56:07Speaker 05

  I agree.

• 56:08Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 56:08Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you when they're not good.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  Hot take.

• 56:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  Or they're underdone.

• 56:12Bobby Lee?

  They're either underdone or they're stale. And when they're stale, they're not good.

• 56:16Speaker 05

  Dry?

• 56:17Speaker 03

  Hot take, dude.

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  Are you sure? Cut that out, cause...

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Churros, man, when they're stale, okay? They're not good, dude. Yeah, that's like saying when you go to a blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, da-da-da-da, fill it and post.

• 56:31Speaker 05

  No, I mean, I think that, oh...

• 56:32Bobby Lee?

  I can't say anything today.

• 56:35Bobby Lee?

  Today, I cannot say anything.

• 56:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, welcome to my world, man.

• 56:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:38Speaker 04

  Fucking...

• 56:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I can't, I cannot, it's chaos. To gain, like, use this to connect.

• 56:42Speaker 05

  I think that the...

• 56:45Bobby Lee?

  I mean, I've been feeling that way too.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  No coaching, I can't, actually, I need coaching, so, actually, I'm, I take it back.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  Talk about, talk about gaslighting.

• 56:53Bobby Lee?

  Can't, can't, Kat and I have our own observations on churros?

• 56:56Speaker 05

  I like that you said that, cause I think it's true.

• 56:58Bobby Lee?

  I think it's true too.

• 56:59Speaker 03

  Of course it's... I don't like bagels when they've been, after they're two weeks old.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  What's, what is stale but good?

• 57:04Bobby Lee?

  If it's hard and it's not hot. See, I like what, we did this so this could happen.

• 57:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, I purposely did...

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Totally, didn't even...

• 57:11Bobby Lee?

  Did you see that?

• 57:12Speaker 03

  I did, I do now.

• 57:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my psychology.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Kaiser so say.

• 57:16Bobby Lee?

  I go, let's do the churro thing so they can go against us, right? Cause we don't really, we don't even really believe it, what we're saying.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  Let him go, let him go.

• 57:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:24Speaker 05

  But now we have...

• 57:24Bobby Lee?

  That's part, yeah, yeah, to rip into me.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  It's you and me, though.

• 57:26Bobby Lee?

  Rip into me about bagels or about, about stale.

• 57:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, we'll come.

• 57:29Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 57:30Speaker 05

  Tell us.

• 57:30Speaker 04

  Is there anything stale that's actually good? I mean, I don't think anything stale by...

• 57:34Bobby Lee?

  I never even thought of it this way!

• 57:35Speaker 04

  Stale as a word means bad, I think.

• 57:37Speaker 05

  I don't think so.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  Something stale, oh, my, my, you know, this guy's stale.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  Or if you're like, if you're from the street and you're past tense of, of taking something that doesn't belong to you.

• 57:46Speaker 04

  Stale, I stale, I stale.

• 57:47Bobby Lee?

  I stale, I stale.

• 57:49Speaker 05

  I stale.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ.

• 57:50Bobby Lee?

  No, both times, no.

• 57:52Speaker 04

  No.

• 57:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 57:52Speaker 05

  I think, I think certain things can be stale and nice.

• 57:55Speaker 04

  Like?

• 57:55Bobby Lee?

  Can we talk about avocado?

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Her name's Kamala, not Kamala, by the way.

• 57:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  Kamala.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  Come.

• 58:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  No, I, I also hated that, I hated when people would say her name wrong, man. Dude, if women ran the country, the only war we'd be in was how fucking sexy I look in this dress.

• 58:11Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  Because women know how to style, they know how to be styled, they know how to receive information without their egos. "Oh, what's the matter? My dick's too small?" No.

• 58:22Speaker 05

  Churro.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  You're just, we're just trying to, listen, they have a different culture than us.

• 58:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  They're different, they're not supposed to be us. Why don't we just...

• 58:29Speaker 05

  Is that like a...

• 58:30Speaker 03

  Live, man?

• 58:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  You know, um, women?

• 58:33Bobby Lee?

  You think...

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Uh, traditionally, biologically born women, they give birth to life. All we do is eat nachos and jerk off.

• 58:44Speaker 05

  But Arnold does, did it. He, he birthed a...

• 58:50Bobby Lee?

  I'll clap, I'll clap, I guess.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  Mark Wahlberg, invincible. Underrated, indispensable. Matter of fact, a figure of opinion. White or black, we know the jurisdiction of our mind's eye reflected in the mirror backwards twice. Put a finger to the glass. Check the back door for mice. Situation speaks and your own hearts agree. Tiger belly, Coca-Cola. Chings on blings. I'm sorry, she distracted me.

• 59:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you fucked that up. Why did you do that? He was on a flow. They call it a flow? Yeah, yeah, and you disrupted the flow.

• 59:30Speaker 05

  I'm sorry, I got the flow.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  Speaking of which, that's why I pee on the porcelain. Cause sometimes there is a disruption of flow if you're pissing hard.

• 59:37Bobby Lee?

  Interesting.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  Did you know that when you have a boner, girls?

• 59:42Speaker 03

  Also, yes, I say girls for females. I say guys and girls. You mean women? Yes, women too. Guys and girls. We need to fucking, you can't say anything anymore.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  You can't say any- I understand you! I'm doing a comedy show, there's white people, there's Puerto Rican people. There's Chinese people, there's Korean people, but that's it!

• 1:00:03Bobby Lee?

  That's true, that's true.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  Like, that's all you'll allow?

• 1:00:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god!

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  I forgot you were here again, I'm so sorry.

• 1:00:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  What were you saying?

• 1:00:12Bobby Lee?

  Hey-

• 1:00:13Speaker 04

  Wouldn't you say that's it, like, that's your limit? Like, that's all you'll allow?

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  I'll allow anything, that's who's attracted to my comedy.

• 1:00:18Bobby Lee?

  Can we, can we, can we talk about this, just real quick, right? The last time you were here, right, we had called Rose, cause about being a paid regular.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 1:00:27Bobby Lee?

  Do you remember? The last time you were here, we called her and I go, remember Kat was here?

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:31Bobby Lee?

  You're not? And we go, what do you think of Kat becoming a paid? She's like, she's on her way, I think that's what Rose said.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  I've been saying it the same.

• 1:00:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and then she said, I said Rick Glassman, she goes, ah, right, or whatever, I don't know what she said.

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  Ah, I don't really remember.

• 1:00:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't remember either.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  It was devastating though, that's what I do remember. No, she, she, she, uh, she's like, I wanna, I have to see you, and I'm like, you've seen me?

• 1:00:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was, ah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  I'll tell you something though-

• 1:00:53Bobby Lee?

  But she was more sure of Kat, and it's interesting. You got it, no, no, no, no!

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  But it makes sense, but it makes sense.

• 1:00:59Bobby Lee?

  You got him first, you got him first before Kat.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  But I did something, since then, that I think kinda changed things.

• 1:01:06Bobby Lee?

  You turned into a phoenix.

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  What did you do? What is it that you did?

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  I started being honest.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  You know, I...

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  I started not feeling like I needed to tell everybody my truth. But if it wasn't rooted in it, it's not sustainable. You know, you could put, you could take a green onion, chop it up, have just a little things, put it in water, and it'll grow again. But at a certain point, a plant needs soil.

• 1:01:35Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 1:01:36Speaker 03

  And to me, my roots in a glass cup?

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  I don't know, man, that doesn't feel like a foundation that I wanna start my 30s in.

• 1:01:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  Tighter sprays.

• 1:01:50Speaker 05

  Is the glass cup a metaphor?

• 1:01:51Speaker 04

  Sorry, I don't know why I'm laughing.

• 1:01:52Speaker 03

  Well, they call me the Glassman for two reasons. One, you know.

• 1:01:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Speaker 03

  And two, it's not about the cup being half-full or-

• 1:02:00Bobby Lee?

  You're breakable, is that why?

• 1:02:02Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:02:02Bobby Lee?

  You're breakable, is that why?

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  Hey man, I'm human.

• 1:02:05Bobby Lee?

  Or we could see through you, what is it?

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  I don't get ashamed of my flaws, because without them-

• 1:02:11Bobby Lee?

  Keep talking about your-

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  I'd be me in five years.

• 1:02:13Bobby Lee?

  Look at that. Amazing.

• 1:02:15Speaker 04

  You'd be you in five years, what does that mean?

• 1:02:17Bobby Lee?

  Flawless.

• 1:02:18Speaker 05

  I love that picture.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  No, but not really, you always change the, like, Matthew McConaughey, and then five more years. I wanna be 100 years old and still learning.

• 1:02:25Bobby Lee?

  You in the main room.

• 1:02:25Speaker 05

  That's a great picture.

• 1:02:26Bobby Lee?

  That's so great.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  Look at it there.

• 1:02:27Bobby Lee?

  I'm so proud of you, dude.

• 1:02:28Speaker 05

  I'm smiling.

• 1:02:29Bobby Lee?

  I really am, I'm, can we talk real now? Because I don't wanna do these, uh, you know, these tangents that you've been going on.

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  We're gonna be real, so-

• 1:02:36Bobby Lee?

  Because I feel like we're not talking about anything real, you know what I mean? We're talking about, all of it's lies.

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:02:41Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so let's talk about something real at this point, okay? What I'm saying is, is that, the last time you were here, you know what I mean, you didn't seem like you were gonna get in, and then you got in, and I was so happy.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  Thank you for being a champion.

• 1:02:54Bobby Lee?

  I've always been a champion of you.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  I think you've been the champion of me there.

• 1:02:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I, I really have, and I, you know, cause I think that you are dynamic, and, yeah.

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:03:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  I told you.

• 1:03:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and I think that you are one of a kind. Yeah, um-

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  Are you trying to flex on me?

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  Sorry, keep going.

• 1:03:14Bobby Lee?

  You know what?

• 1:03:14Speaker 04

  He's giving me looks.

• 1:03:15Bobby Lee?

  Rick, I get it.

• 1:03:16Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  What I'm saying or he's saying?

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  I'm getting what you were saying to him earlier, yeah.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  He's giving me looks.

• 1:03:21Bobby Lee?

  It's fake shit.

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  He's giving me stink eyes.

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's fake shit.

• 1:03:23Speaker 03

  I'm playing a character, I'm playing a character in this moment.

• 1:03:27Bobby Lee?

  I'm a character in this moment as well.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  I'm being serious, but like, the me, I told you, it's me being, I'm playing a character as if like, I've been trying to tell you how funny I am, because I've wanted you to see me that way, and here's somebody saying it, I'm like, see? I'm just playing a little bit of a character with you.

• 1:03:42Speaker 04

  And I'm playing into it.

• 1:03:42Bobby Lee?

  I think you're a con-

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  No, you're not, you're playing against me.

• 1:03:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what, that's what's funny, is conflict. Conflict is what's funny.

• 1:03:48Bobby Lee?

  Conflict is the number one thing to avoid by default, in any improv scene, dude. Ask anyone.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's not agreeing.

• 1:03:56Speaker 04

  Just cause, just cause, you don't have to agree, yes and doesn't always mean I'm agreeing with you.

• 1:04:00Bobby Lee?

  No, but it, it wouldn't be bad if it happened sometime.

• 1:04:02Speaker 04

  I'm in your world, and I'm, I'm playing into your-

• 1:04:06Bobby Lee?

  You know what, Luke?

• 1:04:06Speaker 05

  Maybe you guys can continue that moment, that was really nice.

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  What, what moment?

• 1:04:11Speaker 05

  You were saying that he was dynamic and-

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  He says you're his champion.

• 1:04:14Speaker 05

  Well-deserving.

• 1:04:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was, to me, a real victory.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  I never said this to you before.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  And I wish that you had said it.

• 1:04:24Bobby Lee?

  Bobby.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  That was a good one.

• 1:04:28Bobby Lee?

  That was a good one.

• 1:04:29Speaker 04

  I like that one.

• 1:04:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that was a good one.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  My joke?

• 1:04:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:04:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, man, your joke, man.

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  Sorry bud, they may be leftovers, but I know how to turn him into something. Have you seen that Asian dad who makes, he, the son brings, no, stop, I mean, you know what I'm talking about already? His son brings food and he turns it into gourmet, he's a gourmet chef?

• 1:04:51Bobby Lee?

  We're trying to be real.

• 1:04:52Speaker 04

  Iron Chef Dad.

• 1:04:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I don't even wanna know about it.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  Alright, so-

• 1:04:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I didn't even listen to anything you just said.

• 1:04:57Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:04:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't even wanna know about it, right?

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  Then what, then, know about what?

• 1:05:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's a movie, know about what?

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  You're thinking what about Bob?

• 1:05:06Bobby Lee?

  No, you and I could be, know about what?

• 1:05:09Speaker 03

  Alright, well, thank you very much.

• 1:05:11Bobby Lee?

  No, uh, so-

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  Good to be here.

• 1:05:14Bobby Lee?

  So, um-

• 1:05:15Speaker 05

  Has your life changed since you've been passed?

• 1:05:20Bobby Lee?

  You know, I, I, I don't, I don't know, I, I don't, um, I don't think that that being passed has, has, has had that much of an effect on my day, I've done three more shows.

• 1:05:34Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:05:35Bobby Lee?

  You know? Hold on.

• 1:05:39Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 1:05:40Speaker 03

  No, let me, man-

• 1:05:41Speaker 04

  Say what you were gonna say?

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  It's, it's a little different than other places.

• 1:05:47Bobby Lee?

  It's a lot different. I'm, I'm so happy, I, I don't mean I'm not, I'm not so happy.

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  Very difficult milestone. I've talked about it before on the spot, it's very difficult.

• 1:06:00Bobby Lee?

  I'm very excited.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  And you got in, look at that.

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  It's been a big thing for you, you had all the merch that was like not passed at the Comedy Store.

• 1:06:06Bobby Lee?

  Listen, man, dad has gotta make a buck.

• 1:06:09Speaker 04

  But you, you-

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  Are you daddy now? A 30-year-old daddy?

• 1:06:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh my, I'm, I'm helping pay my parents.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  It seems like a goal you've had for a long time though, how long do you think, how long is the-

• 1:06:18Bobby Lee?

  Look at that, look at that, Jay Leno, Marc Maron, Whitney Cummings, Rick Ingram, Rick Glassman.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  Do you know Chris CP Powell?

• 1:06:25Bobby Lee?

  He is a killer.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  I would love to, to, to say something about him. I didn't know him, I, I met him when he went on before me at the show.

• 1:06:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  And I'm in the, cause I watched Marc Maron and then him, which by the way, also, Marc, they were so, he's, he's so funny, he was, everyone, like, they were both so funny. I'm like, I'm in the back laughing out loud.

• 1:06:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  I really want, we became friends online, I wanted him to come on my podcast. He, I don't know if, if people know him, and I just didn't for whatever reason, but I wanna-

• 1:06:53Bobby Lee?

  He is powerful.

• 1:06:54Speaker 03

  Chris CP Powell, so funny.

• 1:06:56Bobby Lee?

  In fact, I called Rose, I go, I don't wanna follow him.

• 1:06:59Speaker 05

  Nobody does.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:00Bobby Lee?

  I loved following him.

• 1:07:01Speaker 05

  He's a killer.

• 1:07:02Speaker 04

  Have you seen the show Detroiters?

• 1:07:04Bobby Lee?

  Of course.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  He's in it, he's the security guard in Detroiters, he is there, he is so great in that show.

• 1:07:09Bobby Lee?

  Is that him? That's so funny!

• 1:07:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's great.

• 1:07:11Bobby Lee?

  I didn't know that!

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  You're doing silly, right? Cause I really didn't realize.

• 1:07:14Bobby Lee?

  I, I was being silly.

• 1:07:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you were, you see the Detroiters?

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  It's Sam Richardson.

• 1:07:19Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I didn't know, I was-

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  And, uh, the biggest comedian in the world right now.

• 1:07:22Bobby Lee?

  I thought you were doing a thing, and then I read it wrong.

• 1:07:24Speaker 05

  I think you were right.

• 1:07:25Bobby Lee?

  I think I was right about the joke.

• 1:07:27Speaker 05

  Your instinct was right.

• 1:07:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I thought it was better.

• 1:07:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Okay, well, it's Tim Robinson and, and Sam Richardson, and they run a marketing firm in Detroit, and it's a very funny show.

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  Okay, anyway, Chris CP Powell is a powerful comedian.

• 1:07:41Speaker 05

  What was the, um, how did the spot go, your first spot in the main room?

• 1:07:46Speaker 05

  As a paid regular?

• 1:07:48Bobby Lee?

  I don't, I think-

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  Look at that.

• 1:07:49Bobby Lee?

  I think good.

• 1:07:50Speaker 03

  Oh, that- If that was the night, then yeah, that was a really good show. I remember that one.

• 1:07:55Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I mean, do you think about where you're at in that situation or no? I mean, you're sitting next to Jay Leno and Marc Maron and you're like there in the green room. Anyway, what a great photo.

• 1:08:07Speaker 05

  That kind, I'd never.

• 1:08:08Speaker 04

  How long have you wanted to be a paid regular at the Comedy Store?

• 1:08:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God. Dude, he's been hanging out there since he was like thirty.

• 1:08:13Speaker 04

  Yeah. No.

• 1:08:17Bobby Lee?

  Like for a long time.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  It must be a big moment.

• 1:08:20Bobby Lee?

  Like fifteen years ago when he was thirty, I was like, oh, my God, this guy is like really, he was doing the open mics and stuff. It was cool.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  I, I used to answer the phones there. I would always answer the same way. It was so, thank you for calling the Comedy Store. My name is Rick. How may I help you?

• 1:08:36Speaker 04

  Were you a door guy? Only phones?

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  Only phones. They, um, uh, at the time.

• 1:08:43Bobby Lee?

  Don't be scared.

• 1:08:43Speaker 03

  Thought I wasn't funny enough to do the doors.

• 1:08:47Speaker 05

  Have you, um, have you always been a little bit kooky with your comedy?

• 1:08:53Speaker 03

  That's a racial slur.

• 1:08:55Speaker 05

  Oh, no, no. Kooky, kooky.

• 1:08:57Bobby Lee?

  I heard a G.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  Oh, like, like a baby wants a, a sweet treat with chocolate chips.

• 1:09:01Speaker 05

  Exactly. Kooky.

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  Who was that? Is it Rugrats?

• 1:09:05Speaker 05

  Yes. Angel, Angelica.

• 1:09:09Speaker 05

  And Tommy.

• 1:09:10Bobby Lee?

  Are you still high?

• 1:09:12Speaker 03

  Hey, man. Not bi.

• 1:09:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know you're not.

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  But I don't know, man.

• 1:09:22Speaker 03

  I really don't know if it's because I would be like, like, I'm not, I'd feel like, like the, the systemic shame. Because like, who cares? It's a dick.

• 1:09:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I have no idea what you're saying, but, um.

• 1:09:34Speaker 05

  Oh, with the being bisexual?

• 1:09:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  Well, not, not necessarily, not necessarily. Maybe just, maybe gay.

• 1:09:42Bobby Lee?

  Well, to me, it's like when I did Shannon Sharpe's podcast.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  Humble brag. We know you did Shannon Sharpe's podcast.

• 1:09:48Bobby Lee?

  And I brought up that I.

• 1:09:49Speaker 03

  Talking about it.

• 1:09:50Bobby Lee?

  Did you see it? And I said, I talked about, um, I sucked penises in high school. And he goes, you gay. You know what I mean? And he, there was no openness to that.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  It sounded like a, like a vampire Shannon Sharpe.

• 1:10:02Bobby Lee?

  You gay! Because, I don't know. I want, I don't want to make fun of them.

• 1:10:06Speaker 05

  There's a fine line, I think.

• 1:10:07Speaker 03

  Oh, maybe because, maybe because of, um, as we referenced earlier with twins and my influence on Stack and Smoke, maybe it's because of that.

• 1:10:14Bobby Lee?

  Maybe. But it's like, I don't want to go, yo, man, you gay. You know what I mean? And just really go hard on it, you know?

• 1:10:20Speaker 04

  You're right.

• 1:10:20Bobby Lee?

  Right? So I go more vampire. I go more vampire on it, right?

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  You didn't do that.

• 1:10:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I didn't do that, right?

• 1:10:26Speaker 03

  Eddie Murphy in Vampire in Brooklyn.

• 1:10:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, so, you know, there, there was no openness there about, about it. And it, just because I sucked a couple of penises in high school.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Fuck it, man.

• 1:10:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, fuck it, yeah.

• 1:10:38Speaker 04

  When, when you were working the phones at the Comedy Store, did it feel so far away, the, the thought of being passed? Like, where did you think you would be?

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  No, I always thought I'll be passed in, in a year or two.

• 1:10:48Speaker 05

  When you were thirty?

• 1:10:49Speaker 03

  Uh, whenever I first started coming around.

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you were young when you came around.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was really, I had to, I had to get permission to go.

• 1:10:56Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not true. That's not true. No, you were in your twenties. Yeah, you're definitely in your twenties. Yeah, there was no situation like that.

• 1:11:02Speaker 03

  Whatever you say, Bobby.

• 1:11:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  Or should I say?

• 1:11:08Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 1:11:08Speaker 05

  Do you, do you ever remember, like, seeing a comic that really inspired you? That you're like, oh, I want to be like that guy? Or girl, girl, woman?

• 1:11:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, besides me or you.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  A woman. It's mostly women that inspired me. Uh, first, obviously, the strongest woman I've ever met, my mother.

• 1:11:26Speaker 05

  Does she do stand up?

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  She's, she's, I, I don't know if I've ever, I think my, my whole life, who's given me the most laughs? It'd be my mom.

• 1:11:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:33Speaker 03

  So it's, it's, but my mom isn't, my mom's a little kooky like me.

• 1:11:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:38Speaker 03

  And she makes people like, uh, just being sweet and like talking and like having conversations with people and just saying stuff that's like, oh, you know? And it's like, uh, yeah. She's honest.

• 1:11:53Bobby Lee?

  That's fun. I can see the humor.

• 1:11:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:55Speaker 03

  And then, and then probably Will Smith second.

• 1:12:00Speaker 03

  I've said it on this podcast before, but Will Smith was the first time I saw that you could be goofy and cool. Like, being goofy doesn't mean you have to be a fool and it's funny to play it anyway. And he could do it all, man.

• 1:12:11Bobby Lee?

  He could do it all. He could sing, dance, all of it.

• 1:12:14Speaker 03

  And he didn't inspire me necessarily, but around the same time of me recognizing, oh, I'm liking what people are able to do with their skill.

• 1:12:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:23Speaker 03

  Big, big shout out to Shia LaBeouf since even Stevens. I loved him from then and everything he's done after.

• 1:12:31Bobby Lee?

  I love Shia.

• 1:12:32Speaker 03

  I think he's unbelievable.

• 1:12:34Bobby Lee?

  That's right. That's awesome.

• 1:12:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, he did Bad Run. I never watched the episode. I should check it out.

• 1:12:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was him and, uh.

• 1:12:39Speaker 03

  And Santino.

• 1:12:41Bobby Lee?

  And also David Mamet.

• 1:12:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Which was crazy to have him on.

• 1:12:45Speaker 03

  David Mamet's a playwright.

• 1:12:47Bobby Lee?

  He's a playwright. He did, uh, Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.

• 1:12:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:12:51Bobby Lee?

  Did you know? The movie, have you seen the movie? It's one of the best.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  I prefer the play.

• 1:12:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, it's one of the best movies, though. Have you seen it? Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, the movie. It's so good.

• 1:13:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's really.

• 1:13:00Bobby Lee?

  Alec Baldwin.

• 1:13:02Speaker 04

  Coffees for closers.

• 1:13:03Bobby Lee?

  Yes. Act like you've been here.

• 1:13:08Speaker 03

  I had, I had, I handed him a note that says coffees for closers.

• 1:13:12Speaker 04

  Alec Baldwin.

• 1:13:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, really good movie. Yeah.

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  It's raining.

• 1:13:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. He's never seen The Godfather. Isn't it incredible?

• 1:13:19Speaker 05

  You've never seen The Godfather?

• 1:13:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Speaker 05

  Dang.

• 1:13:21Speaker 03

  That reminds me of a, my first joke, one, my first time on stage, I did, uh, my, literally my first set in Cleveland. One of my jokes was, here's my impression of, of, of when, when, uh, what, what people say when I tell them I've never had an Oreo before. And I, I would just, like, I would get into character and I'd turn back and be like, you've never had an Oreo before? Was exactly the way you just did the Godfather thing.

• 1:13:43Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, that's right.

• 1:13:44Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Did that work?

• 1:13:46Speaker 05

  You just.

• 1:13:47Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:13:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Didn't seem to work here.

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  No. I wasn't saying, I wasn't saying like, let me make you laugh.

• 1:13:53Bobby Lee?

  It didn't really seem to work.

• 1:13:54Speaker 03

  No, but, but it's still, it's still funny. Like, I do think that joke, looking back at that joke, which was the first time I did stand up.

• 1:14:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:00Speaker 03

  I were, uh, the, the, the logic of it, of doing something sincerely and that's funny, I do see how I was inspired for that kind of stuff. Like, to play things very sincerely, thinking that's funny. Like, not for better or worse, but I'm just saying, thinking back to some of my old jokes that weren't funny, I'm like, oh, I, I do recognize what attracted to me to trying that type of thing. Does that make sense?

• 1:14:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:22Speaker 03

  So I feel like if you watch people's first jokes, instead of just looking at them like, how funny are they? But like, how does their mind work? What, what are they attracted to? Um. I also think it's a good way of getting to know somebody. Like, we don't change that much. We get new tools, but.

• 1:14:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:38Speaker 03

  So anyway.

• 1:14:39Bobby Lee?

  I think, when I see myself earlier, earlier on, right, there's some, you bored?

• 1:14:45Speaker 03

  What? Just say yes or no.

• 1:14:47Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  Don't be so shocked by being, but you're here, man.

• 1:14:51Speaker 04

  No. I'm not bored.

• 1:14:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's okay. Just say that.

• 1:14:54Speaker 03

  You drifted.

• 1:14:55Speaker 04

  I'm not bored.

• 1:14:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you started looking off in the distance.

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  I was thinking, okay.

• 1:14:58Bobby Lee?

  What were you thinking about? That's crazy.

• 1:15:00Speaker 04

  I was thinking about.

• 1:15:01Bobby Lee?

  I'm the fucking, no, but I'm the captain of the ship!

• 1:15:03Speaker 03

  Stop talking. Bobby.

• 1:15:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, get off the fucking ship then.

• 1:15:06Speaker 03

  Bobby, go ahead.

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  I was thinking about Rick and Isaac's change and I was thinking about how that's going to play and, you know, I was thinking, could I have handled that better and should I, should I?

• 1:15:16Bobby Lee?

  Yes, you could.

• 1:15:17Speaker 04

  Should I have said something?

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  So that, I, I, that's, that's, it's human and I love that.

• 1:15:21Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 1:15:21Speaker 03

  When Bobby says, hey, are, are you bored? You could, instead of saying, what? You could take a second to think about the question. And I was kind of drifting off. This is what I was thinking about. And now here we are. We're present again.

• 1:15:34Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm, I'm learning. I'm not, you know, I haven't been.

• 1:15:37Speaker 03

  Shut up! Joking, I'm joking, joking, joking.

• 1:15:41Speaker 04

  Sorry, I'm not fifty-six years old like everyone else in this room, okay? I'm still learning.

• 1:15:49Bobby Lee?

  Looks fifty-six.

• 1:15:53Speaker 04

  I wasn't thinking about Kat. I was trying to, I was trying to make an attack about how he says he's thirty and I wanted to.

• 1:15:57Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought you were rating your past fifty jokes on a scale from one to ten.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  Fifty-six? I wasn't trying to come after Kat. I was trying to come after.

• 1:16:04Speaker 03

  They're all sixes, dude.

• 1:16:05Bobby Lee?

  Attack on you, I believe. Yeah, but, um.

• 1:16:07Speaker 05

  I'll catch you later.

• 1:16:08Speaker 03

  Sometimes I do stuff on, like, and I, it's, it's fine. You'll leave it in. But like, I feel myself watching it and editing. I'm just like, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying. But like, this is what this medium is. And we just, you just put stuff out.

• 1:16:20Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. It'll cut together very well.

• 1:16:22Speaker 03

  I'm not worried about it, but I'm aware of that.

• 1:16:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:24Speaker 03

  And I'm like, I'm like, man, I've done, I've done five hundred podcasts and I'm still, all the time, I'm like, well, no.

• 1:16:32Bobby Lee?

  You, can I be honest with you? You're one of the toughest guests.

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  Thank you, man.

• 1:16:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it, it, it's tough. I'll tell you why. Why I have to constantly be thinking.

• 1:16:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:43Bobby Lee?

  You go this way and it's like, I have to follow. And then sometimes I have no idea what's going on, you know, and it's a very difficult thing.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  Hey, man.

• 1:16:50Bobby Lee?

  And I'm learning from it. Like, my, my mind is expanding because of it.

• 1:16:55Speaker 05

  Well, I think you're very honest.

• 1:16:59Speaker 05

  I do think you're very honest. You have moments of vulnerability that are really lovely. Yeah. Do you remember your first joke?

• 1:17:06Bobby Lee?

  Can I go into what I was saying earlier? Because it was crazy. I, I'm like, we can't talk about what I was going to say earlier? Why'd you segue into that? I was like, when I look at myself in old tapes and stuff, I wasn't done with my point. Okay? When I look at myself.

• 1:17:22Speaker 03

  You're, you're a microphone showing. I don't know if you care, but I don't want to get comments.

• 1:17:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:17:31Speaker 05

  Sorry Bobby.

• 1:17:32Speaker 03

  It's not even the true thing what he was saying.

• 1:17:36Speaker 05

  It was true.

• 1:17:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't draw attention to it. There's creeps. Go ahead.

• 1:17:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:41Speaker 03

  Anyway, um.

• 1:17:43Speaker 05

  I'll cover up next time.

• 1:17:44Speaker 03

  Forget what I was saying. Forget what I was about to say because it's like, it's not gonna, no one's gonna, it's too late. My loss. Yeah, it's everyone's loss. Yeah, our loss. Yeah. Anyway, when I see, look at myself at old tapes, right? And, you know, when I first, like, there was this one where I did in La Jolla, when I lived there. And Scott Shore, Paulie Shore's older brother, was doing a documentary. And he would, you know, he just did film on five young comics. I was luckily, I know.

• 1:18:17Speaker 03

  Okay. I was lucky enough to be chosen and I had only been doing comedy for like a year. And I, and so I did, it was on film.

• 1:18:25Speaker 05

  That's cool.

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  Right? And it was like, and I was so bad. When you first see it, I'm bad, but then when you see it like three or four times, you go, you know what? It's the big, like, I could see the seeds of Bobby Lee in there.

• 1:18:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:18:39Speaker 03

  Did a lot of people watch it three or four times?

• 1:18:45Speaker 03

  No. Yeah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 05

  I, I think you've, you've shown me older tapes of you and it's still consistent with who you are now.

• 1:18:52Speaker 04

  Your hair was so different. Why did you stop doing that? Where you spiked your hair up crazy.

• 1:18:55Speaker 03

  Because it was a hook. I thought you needed a hook back then.

• 1:18:57Speaker 04

  Hair?

• 1:18:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:58Speaker 04

  It was a hook?

• 1:18:59Speaker 03

  Well, it was, it was a big movie with Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams.

• 1:19:02Speaker 04

  No hook. Come on.

• 1:19:04Speaker 03

  I wanted to be Rufio.

• 1:19:05Speaker 05

  Ace Ventura.

• 1:19:05Speaker 04

  Is that what you thought really?

• 1:19:06Speaker 03

  No, that's not what I was thinking. No, back then it's like, Chris Tucker was a thing.

• 1:19:11Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:19:11Speaker 03

  He was blowing up. Dude. He is, he is so funny. I know, naturally funny. Everything he does, his energy, everything. Yeah. So I was trying to like, do a high pitched voice like him and it was not working. And then when like, and then I just kind of became more myself. In a lower tone and then just kind of paced myself a little slower. And, and then try to, you know, be more real at times and.

• 1:19:41Speaker 05

  Did you ever stand still and just do your act?

• 1:19:43Speaker 03

  No, I was never like that. I was always running around.

• 1:19:45Speaker 05

  Always running around.

• 1:19:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. They always say it ain't funny if it doesn't look like your feet are on fire.

• 1:19:50Speaker 05

  But you do that.

• 1:19:51Speaker 03

  Who said that? Don Rickles. Oh.

• 1:19:53Speaker 05

  Oh. Do, do you do that as well? Run around the stage a little bit?

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  I mean, if there's a stage, I'll use it.

• 1:20:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:00Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:20:01Speaker 03

  Hmm. But, uh. Yeah. Run around. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Really good.

• 1:20:09Speaker 05

  Jog?

• 1:20:10Speaker 03

  Good stuff.

• 1:20:12Speaker 03

  Being on that stage, a real stage, you know, a big stage, a stage that you could use.

• 1:20:19Speaker 03

  Just you and that microphone. And. He's singing at the Bellerum. You're up there all alone, man. It's not like anything else.

• 1:20:33Speaker 03

  Do a spotlight thing, like the lights are off, spotlight on me.

• 1:20:36Speaker 05

  Maybe snaps.

• 1:20:40Speaker 03

  I was doing my thing.

• 1:20:45Speaker 03

  Playing my games.

• 1:20:49Speaker 03

  Until I find the situation speaking of the things embarrassing and all I ever feel is a drive home in shame. I think that I can do this, but then I get scared from bruises. I trip, I fall, I bang my noses. Because. She distracted me again. No, it's, no, why? Why? She laughed. That was really good. Why did you laugh at that?

• 1:21:16Speaker 05

  I'm sorry, the noses.

• 1:21:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was, noses is good. Man. Anyway, Rick, you want to promote anything? Hey, man. If you like me, you can find me. And if you don't, what's the point of selling you? Rick, Ricky's on the loose tour.

• 1:21:29Speaker 04

  That's good.

• 1:21:30Speaker 03

  You're gonna be in Scotland? Amazing. I'm doing the Edinburgh Film Festival. Then I'm headed on over to Amsterdam, then Ireland. Ireland just sold out. Maybe I'm adding another show. I don't know. Yeah. Uh, doing five shows in England, London town.

• 1:21:44Speaker 04

  Wow, Soho Theatre.

• 1:21:47Speaker 04

  That's cool.

• 1:21:47Speaker 03

  That's amazing, dude. Congratulations.

• 1:21:49Speaker 05

  Are you going to Helium in Portland?

• 1:21:51Speaker 03

  Am I doing what?

• 1:21:52Speaker 05

  Helium in Portland.

• 1:21:53Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. A great club.

• 1:21:54Speaker 05

  That'll be fun.

• 1:21:54Speaker 03

  Look at that. Port, Philadelphia. Oh, thanks for showing. Houston, Portland, Eugene, uh, Oregon, Tacoma, Washington, Salt Lake City. RickGlasman.com. And if you want, I'm adding states. You can sign up from email list at RickGlasman.com. You go check them out, dude. Email you if I'm coming within 50 miles of your city. I'm not gonna be sending you tons of emails of my balls and my butt.

• 1:22:13Speaker 05

  Aww.

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  But once a year, send you pictures of my butt.

• 1:22:16Speaker 05

  Hey. Get on that mailing list.

• 1:22:19Speaker 03

  Give Rick Glassman a round of applause.

• 1:22:23Speaker 04

  I just want to say, Rick, I think might be tied for the most appearances on the podcast.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  Oh. Tied with who? Khalyla?

• 1:22:30Speaker 04

  Theo Von.

• 1:22:31Speaker 03

  Theo.

• 1:22:32Speaker 05

  Oh, dang. That's awesome.

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  We should have the audience vote who they want to have on more, me or not me?

• 1:22:40Speaker 03

  You guys, all jokes aside, are the cameras still rolling? I just want to say, um, the fact that I have been here, maybe just as the most tied with the most than anybody else, just shows that despite the kind of like, uh, back and forth jousting that you and I do, we are friends and you really have been a champion of mine at the Comedy Store. You're the only person that I know and you went and talked to different people when they were booking. And you were, uh, the first guest that came on my podcast or one of the first that really, like, started to bring attention to it. You helped me out on my podcast and

• 1:23:14Speaker 03

  I normally don't do this, but if you want, I'll take, I'll take his spot. I'll start coming here.

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  That's, that was a good one, good one, good one. No, but all jokes aside, thank you for having me. Yeah. Epath.org and, uh, one love. Look how fat I was there. I think you were fat. You were just close to the camera. No, I was pretty fat then. And music. Yeah.

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